#Rip her! Rip her! Rip her! {ramsay}

[seraphont]

opinion on babysitter J? As in J's just really good at taking care of children somehow? Like how Gordon Ramsay yells at adults but when it comes to children he's really gentle? :3

I think it’s hilarious, first of all, I don’t think the moron squad has really seen kids or pill babies (other than beau, rip) until being around the colony. so J’s probably like “?? Wth are those little drone things”, assuming the drones at the manor were all made in a factory.

I think kids would love her. I imagine that she talks to them like they’re little tax paying adults, and they eat that up. They think she’s putting on an elaborate bit with her persona, but she’s just built like that LMAO. She'd probably be really irritated by their chaoticness initially, but when she starts corralling them like she would her squad, she starts to become fond of them.

[mrsdarkandyandere7]

Imagine...

Pairing: Dark Ramsay Bolton x (female) Stark!Reader

▶ This is a yandere/dark work and it may contain triggering content so please READ THE WARNINGS before. Do not read if minor.

More at Masterlist

WARNINGS: Threats.

Please, reblog and give me feedback.

--

“Now, Jon Snow, how about you be a good brother-in-law and fetch my dear wife for me.” Ramsay says, voice strained as he glares at man.

Jon shakes his head. 

“She’s not returning, Ramsay. If I were you I’d drop your hopes.”

Ramsay’s hands tighten around his sword, his left eye twitching at that as his patient vanishes. 

“Listen to me, bastard, she’s going to come back, willingly or unwillingly, I don’t really care which way. I’ll leave that at her judgment.” he declares, eyes darkening.

“But if she does not return to Winterfell till the end of the day, I promise you that my men will rip apart and slaughter every man, woman and child that is under your protection.”

“And then I’ll personally drag your sister by her hair back to where she belongs. Which is in my bed.”

[francis-writes]

Could you please do a Ramsay x Reader where she is captured and he is mean to her at first but eventually has a soft spot for her. If you could make it a smut that would be awesome where he is dominate in bed?

A/N: I am sorry, it turned out probably less uhh fluffy than you expected. Capture and domination are kept in the story, soft spot is debatable.

Warnings: Ramsay being Ramsay, cutting, mentions of torture, non-con

Reader is gender neutral

You pressed your legs to your chest, trying to protect yourself from coldness of your cell. Stone floor wasn't comfortable in anyway and your body was aching, no matter which position you tried - sitting, laying on your back, laying curled up etc.

You didn't expect your situation to get any better soon, to be perfectly honest, you were certain that it will only get much worse. Your host wasn't a person known for his mercy. No, Ramsay Bolton's guests often ended up skinless and crucified. It didn't seem that you would be any exception, considering how he was treating you. Fortunately, you still had your entire skin and probably mostly unbroken bones. Since your capture, you kept seeing young lord Bolton everyday but for now he only kept mocking and threatening you. A few times he maimed another prisoner and made sure that you were looking. It seemed that for now, he didn't need to hurt your body, it was enough for him to see that fear in your eyes. Torturing people was great for him, for sure, but breaking them mentally could create almost as good entertainment.

***

Ramsay was walking through the corridors of Dreadfort, heading to the dungeon. He recently enjoyed spending his time there for more reasons than usually (the bar was low because his usual reason was just torturing prisoners).

One of the people he captured last week, captured young Bolton's attention. They were beautiful and he considered hunting them in the wood but eventually he left that idea. At least for now. He could always sent them to the woods but at this moment he just enjoyed seeing fear at their face when they saw what he was capable of. He wanted them to be already scared and broken when he would finally take care of them. And that was probably this day. He couldn't wait any longer - denying himself pleasure was never his strong spot.

Ramsay found your cell and looked at you, hiding in the corner. He would take you right there and right now but he decided that he would rather have some more privacy this time. He opened the door and you raised your head.

"You are lucky" he said "Today will be able to see my bed chamber"

***

His hand pressed your face into hard floor. You managed to turn your head a bit so you could stare into a wall while his hand ripped off whatever was left of your clothes. His fingers, warm and calloused after years of working with knives, bows and other deadly weapons, wandered across your skin, squeezing your flesh so hard that you had to hold back a yelp. You couldn't see what was happening but realized everything when a sharp pain pierced your body. He cut you with a knife. Moreover, he kept doing. You cried, praying that there's still an ounce of mercy left in him.

"I beg you my Lord, don't flay me... I will do whatever you want" you pleaded between sobs.

"Don't worry, I'm not flaying you now. I only carve my name, so you will remember whom you belong to"

It comforted you a bit, though specifying that he wouldn't flay you "now" sounded a bit worrying.

You tried to grit your teeth and stay silent but he added:

"Don't hold back. You don't need to hide your cries, screams and whining. They won't help you but I would love to hear them"

After he finished his little artpiece, Ramsay leaned over and licked the blood off your wounds. You gasped as his rough tongue caressed your cuts.

He grabbed your thighs, pulled your ass up and your whole body closer to himself. He was a strong man, who spent most of his free time in the woods and you were still malnourished after staying locked in the dungeons, so manhandling you was the easiest thing to Ramsay.

Without any further preparation, he pulled out his cock and entered you. You didn't see him, but you could feel that he was thick. You moaned while he was stretching you. Ramsay didn't wait until you adjusted to his girth and he began to thrust brutally in and out of you. At first it was painful, tear kept running through your face but after a few minutes - though they felt like an eternity then - of his ruthless pace, you got used to the feeling and the intensity of the feeling even started bringing you kind of pleasure.

But before you got even close to cumming, Ramsay gasped and you felt his hot semen flooding your insides. He pulled out and stood up, grabbing your arm. If not his strong grip, you wouldn't be able to stand straight on your legs. Ramsay pulled you on the bed. He rested his head on a pillow and pressed your body to his. His hands kept groping your body as he looked at you with mix of hunger and admiration.

[xixovart]

my rrverse headcanons that i will save in my drafts until it explodes

possible tw for mentions of weaponry and violence!! (bullet point no.5)

nico with heterochromia?? im?

a LOT of aphrodite kids are pansexual. somethinf about love knowing no bounds or restrictions to gender because love is a connection to the soul or whatever

actually on that idea a lot of aphrodite kids are under the non binary umbrella :)

spreading the deaf will solace agenda

annabeth goes to a shooting range to relieve stress

she got that from thalia

i just need you to picture how unbelievably destroyed thalia must’ve been when they told her about luke.

alex fierro really likes cupcakes. but he’s like. ashamed of it?? for some reason

one time magnus walked in on her while she was eating some red velvet? hilarious interaction.

“magnus it’s not what ir looks like i swear.”

”what? you use someone’s blood to make those?”

rip bianca di angelo you would’ve loved ratatouille. i don’t know.

kayla really likes mac n cheese. i really don’t know.

chris wnd beckendorf have an unmatched ‘our gfs are best friends but ngl we’re kinda gay for each other’ bromance

percy is REAAALLLYYY good at makeup

thalia is surprisingly good at volleyball?

frank once accidentally knocked down an entire grocery store isle… somehow.

hazel really likes ladybugs

“long day?” “tell me about it. keep em coming.” except it’s kayla pouring will grape soda into a wine glass when they were 12 after a day in the infirmary

unpopular opinion: will relentlessly finds loopholes for rules (and sometimes blatantly breaks them) while nico hates rule-breaking. one was raised in rich 1940s europe and the other is texan. guess who.

annabeth and will bonded over their shared love of true crime podcasts

hazel gossips like a hairstylist

“don’t look at me like that, you’re not my real dad 😒” -11 year old annabeth to chiron after the ares cabin caught fire “unexpectedly. somehow. for no reason.”

percy used to swims in fountains and steals people’s coins

piper blasts chappell roan at unhealthy volumes. so does will. they bond over that

zoë nightshade was in the theater abe lincoln was killed in. don’t know where this came from.

piper and leo were the most chaotic duo that wilderness school ever bore witness to. there were several science room “accidents.” and the food in the kitchens went missing every week “unexpectedly”

magnus hearth and blitz used to sit on rooftops and throw water balloons at tourists. fathers-son bonding i lobe them

frank likes tarzan and kung fu panda an unhealthy amount (he was a horrible influence on hazel)

hazel once made random hand signals at a boy who was bothering her told him she cursed him

bianca was surprisingly good at sports?

thalia had to put saran wrap on every outlet in the house for two months when jason was a year old because he would NOT stop sticking his fingers in them

reyna cannot cook. she only knows how to make a surprisingly good lemonade. it’s insane.

hedge, on the other hand, is a freaking chef. he’s like the love child of a really smart goat and gordon ramsay

annabeth and thalia are both master pickpockets because of their time on the road

luke had a soft spot for gummy bears

silena was very calm and collected but the SECOND this girl stepped FOOT in a rage room she lost her SHIR

mallory hates math. like actually loathes math.

magnus is math smart and mallory is english smart

(book 1) halfborn and magnus are the prank lords of floor 19

alex joined them the second he showed up (he destroyed half the hotel withing his first 24 minutes there? duh?)

cecil hates twizzlers

lou ellen cecil and will are VERY competitive go kart-ers

rachel and hazel are artist buddies and go on drawing dates

chiron gets father’s day presents

someone proposed the idea of achilles and patroclus training nico post-ttc and pre-botl???? stop right now im losing my mind i love this

spreading the multilingual nico agenda

mr. d gave will his tattoo

grover and percy unironically watch rom coms every saturday while eating vegan candy and cry for the characters

grover and rachel’s friendship is INCREDIBLY??? underrated

i think we forget that grover bianca and nico went to school together and bianca and grover were friends. imagine the chaos.

lester and kayla had regular arm wrestling matches (kayla always won btw)

whenever austin’s mad at his cabinmates he wakes them up at the asscrack of drawn by playing we are the champions on his flute.

idk why but malcolm seems very gumball coded.

“wait, where are you going?” “to the brony convention in lietchenstein. where do you think im going????” -canon conversation between malcolm and annabeth

wasian grace siblings wasian grace siblings wasian grace siblings.

ethan is a really bad liar in non-greek related matters

will’s love language is that he points at literally the two most random things and says “us” to nico

“nico look it’s us!! :D” “solace those are two dead leaves on the floor” “yeah but they’re next to each other :)”

sally knows taekwondo. no one knows when or how she learned, she just does and it’s terrifying

alabaster is a plant mom

dakota seems like the type of kid to slump so deep in a chair that he ends up falling off. and then he just like. lays there.

castor and pollux have a concerning attraction to fire

travis stoll likes strawberries :)

connor stoll chunks strawberries at travis from half a km away and calls is “aiming practice”

katie has the temper of a chihuahua

(post-tlo) percy and clarisse pretend to hate each other but they’re actually friends who fight like siblings and it’s surprisingly endearing?

[motorway-south]

alicole and larycent children ideas in a world where there's feasibly like years of post viserys's death where alicent could concieve children plural okay lets go

VISERRA "TARGARYEN"

alicole baby

born in like 9/10ish months after viserys dies so okay plausible deniability even if viserys was nawt getting it up atp

she is sooooo tall and very strong and broad esp for a woman and a targaryen princess and obviously she had like brown hair and brown eyes anyway there are obviously fucking rumors

no one admits to her growing up who her father is (and criston stays far away) but she obviously knows and develops this complete obsession with being like him

alicent obviously hates this tomboyish side but like what can she do about it. viserra is sent to oldtown pretty much at age 5.

ik shes from the crownlands but the idea of this butch fighter being called viserra flowers mockingly is too good to me

anyway she has total serial killer gene she's an incredible fighter bc she just does not car if she lives or dies she's an amazing met puppet

they cannot marry her off the 3egon or viiserys and she refuses to become a septa so tbh the maesters put her down like old yeller. rip viserra targaryen you never met a kind-hearted noble tall knight to give u this generations jaime/brienne parallel

LYMAN RIVERS

uhhh let's pretend instead of being imprisoned at the red keep or whatever alicent can get imprisoned at harrenhal yayyyyy anyway larycent baby

at first larys is like" idgaf about this baby" and alicent is actively going mad BUT THEN this baby grows up to be sooooo desperate for his father AND mother's approval and larys is like... wait thats literally alicent but a boy and willing to do whatever i say lets get INTO it

anyway lyman is verryyyy agot theon like he's good looking and kinda rogueishly charming and an archer but he's also in a roose/ramsay relationship with his father and will do anything he says

he's bringing home dead things for alicent like "why won't mummy love me"

MAEGELLE RIVERS

larycent baby #2

anyway in complete opposite of viserra, maegelle is tinyyyyy stick thin emaciated and sickly and sooooo religiously devoted she hates her serial killer siblings

shes born in like 135 ac (larycent lives au yay) and her mom like deliberately withholds info that she's half siblings with fucking taragryens like this girl fully believes shes a riverlands bastard

she cries. all the fuckign time. constant emotional distress. cant even handle seeing a bloody hangnail

obviously lyman torments her and makes life miserable for her

alicent is like "ohh my perfect baby angel" and munchausen's by proxies her

larys doesn[t care she annoys him sooooo much by crying and he's totally dedicated to his mini me

[danjaley]

Book-Blog Intermission:

Wonderful Journeys through Time and Literature with Nils Holgerson

Like most of my generation I grew up with the 1980 anime series. And, as I'll say at every opportunity, it spoiled me for pretty much any other TV-show. A good series should follow a literary original - and quite closely. It should have gorgeous aesthetics and music. A plot centered around adventure, history, tradition, loyalty and faith. Plot-decisions should never follow external factors like availability of actors or stale marketing formulas. And it should end when the story is told out.

My mother had the mad idea to try and read the book to me when I was about 5. I didn't understand a word of it. She had a very boring copy too, without any pictures.

Aged 25 I bought the cute edition on the right and made it a reading-project. After each chapter I watched the corresponding episode of the series. And I repeat: It shows the quality of the series that you can do this. Still is was super interesting to note everything they changed. Some things only made sense to me then. Like the story of the parade towards to icy mountain. As a child it just impressed me with its scariness. But in fact it's a parable of which plants can grow how far north.

Cute as it is, the left edition was so badly translated that I went ahead and learned Swedish to read it in the original (middle). In the meantime the German book-market also spoiled me with an up-to-date state-of-the-art unabridged translation (right). So I don't even need to use a dictionary :)

There is one other edition in the house and that's my grandmother's school-copy. As it is well know, Nils Holgerson was written as a reader for Swedish schools, covering geography, history and natural history of Sweden. Since it is an absolute masterpiece, it soon became a school-reader in many other European countries too.

Especially Germany in the 1930s had a fatal obsession with all things Nordic. So every school-child had to learn all about Swedish castles too. I always wondered why nobody at least tried to write a rip-off set in Germany. Only recently, in the course of my current research, I found out that someone did. Tamara Ramsay: Wunderbare Fahrten und Abenteuer der kleinen Dott (images not mine). But it only came out in 1941 and never made it to school-reader status.

My grandmother and her class enjoyed Nils Holgerson so much, they wrote collective fan-mail to Selma Lagerlöff. She replied too. She wrote that she got her German translator to decipher their letter and that she was very glad they enjoyed her book. The translator must have been the same Pauline Klaiber-Gottschau who first translated the book into German.

The original wild geese can of course be consulted at the International Youth Library in Munich. The building (Schloss Blutenburg) is the cutest little medieval castle that's been forgotten on the edge of the city. And in winter and spring you can meet the geese spending the winter in the moat. As a child I always regretted that Nils Holgerson ends just as the geese plan to cross to Germany. I'd have loved to see their Schloss Blutenburg adventure!

My Grandmother also appears to have read most other books by Selma Lagerlöff. At least she ticked them off in the list in her copy of Nils Holgerson. The only other one to survive in her collection is Gösta Berling (here in blue).

While the dated German bothered me a lot in Nils Holgerson, I deeply enjoy reading other Lagerlöff novels in as old editions as I can get hold of (here the much-mended red Gösta Berling). In old German print they just feel like they came from the dawn of time!

Those two have actually both been major inspirations for the McCarrics. Gösta Berling includes more or less the model for Fergus' dying-scene (if you ever want to see the subject treated by a nobel-prize-winner). And Herrn Arnes Schatz (Herr Arnes penningar) has the ghostly sister as well as badass Scotsmen (here unfortunately as the bad guys).

[daenystheedreamer]

OH for the ship grid: i had time on my day off and wanted to see what the most popular gay ships on asoiaf ao3 are (so what is popular when you exclude m/f tags and ships) so the following ten for the meme: aemond/lucerys, alicent/rhaenyra, theon/robb, sansa/margaery, theon/ramsay, renly/loras, jon/robb, aegon ii/jacaerys, tormund/jon, sansa/daenerys can’t wait to see where u place these, peace&love 🫶

HERE MY FRIEND again the makes sense axis is a combo of 'does it make sense in canon' and 'do i understand why people ship it' so if it looks a bit weird thats why 🫶 ship discussions udner the cut mwah

aemond lucerys.... look i get it. i do get it. 1) urge for yaoi 2) there are crumbs you can bake 3) cute actors. i understand. im deep in the yaoi trenches i understand seme uke i get it i get it. but also the idea its like Canon or an accurate reading of either character is soo...... lucerys is not a femme fatale or an ingenue. he is a plot device. and aemond.... aemond's 'obsession' with lucerys is more one bred from insecurity as opposed to yaoi lust. but i do get it. one love to the lucemond people. wish u guys would be normal about the UNDERAGE luke actor. he's an adult now but can we not do countdown shit. weird as hell...

rhaenicent #1 its literally canon. its subtext its textual its openly a part of the narrative. the complex web of sexuality, womanhood and patriarchy that seeps rhaenicent is so compelling. alicent as a lesbian and rhaenyra as a butch/lesbian/bisexual/trans/dragongender are genuinely compelling analyses of the characters. #1 foreva

im normal about throbb now<3 i think in canon the theon bisexual analysis is interesting but not super vital to his character. his sexuality and manhood certainly, but i like throbb more cos i like theon rather than on its own merits.

sansaery ❤️ i enjoy sansaery as a way to explore sansa's character and specifically her as a lesbian. both characters are fun and interesting but its high up cos it has a special place in my heart<3

im not really into thramsay i have no thoughts on it. one love to the thramsays though u guys are warriors. i think it has wayyy more sub/textual basis in canon than throbb

renloras is just canon so i dont have much thoughts on it. its sweet! make me sad. rip babes loras you would have loved gymbro culture.

jonrobb is meh to me idk 🤷‍♀️ theyre fine as brothers and there's not much analysis to be had of their relationship beyond that. one love to the brocons ig. cousincons

aegon x jace is beyond nothing to me sorry 😭 but thats mostly cos im not super into the dance or hotd beyond rhaenicent. i get why it exists but there's little to no basis in canon to bake nor does it have much analysis. one love to the jacegons of course

JONMUND... okay book jonmund is meh whatever but show jonmund is real to me. jon post canon is operating a cozy bed and breakfast with tormund in alaska beyond the wall. one of my fave crackships. he's kissed by fire!

daensa🍋❤️ i love u daensa. very important to my bi!dany and lezzo!sansa thoughts. song of ice and fire 🫶

[bougiebutchbitch]

happy izzy headcanons, off the cuff:

ed's adhd ass remembers the most random shit about him that he said one time, like that his favorite color is green, he doesn't like sweets, and he used to feed a stray cat when he was a kid (despite not remembering ostensibly more important things / things that were repeated or told to him directly. RIP iykyk etc)

he called the cat Miss Lady and sometimes to get out of "playing" with "fellow" "children" and other such tedium, he would claim she was his boss and he had to go to work for her in her estate (he's like ≤8yo or something when he pulls this)

still has not gotten much better at lying than that tbh

his parents loved each other and him and his big sister very much. they were as happy as they could be in their level of poverty, and iz's youngest years were filled with unconditional love

he and his sister both got their first jobs at the same little shop, but izzy was immediately and comically fired for being crass and rude to customers lmao (also for wearing pants)

he was part of the navy for an astounding one (1) year before being discharged - equally comically - for being the singular most insubordinate little shit ever seen. regular punishments had absolutely no effect on his behavior, and though they threatened to do worse by that point they could not catch him.

his criminal record is just as long as ed's, but the bulk of his charges are morality based. he fucks so severely it is a crime. (not that hard to do really, at the time, but he's proud of it lol.)

Jewish

was taught to read english and hebrew as a kid (Jewish communities at the time had higher literacy on average than other groups & taught girls as well as boys to read, iirc)

can buy and sell in many languages, but can't really converse. is in the process of learning spanish from jim and french from frenchie (with much more unsavory instruction provided by roach, for surprise use on frenchie lmao)

not necessarily about izzy i guess lmao, but i have a scene that runs in my head of izzy telling jim something private in spanish and jim interrupting (but not fast enough) to yell that oluwande is fluent, to which olu nervously says "no, i forgot. those words. don't use 'em much, so. you know. whoosh. gone. didn't understand any of it."

he and anne fake dated way back, to make ed and mary jealous

he and jack tried this also, after it worked for anne but not for izzy, but in the process they accidentally dated for real (jack... might have had ulterior motives lmao)

takes ye olde hrt, in the form of an herbal tea recipe that he got from a midwife who clocked him at 50 paces. they are still friends.

bottom sub leaning, but still a vers switch!!!

explores his gender further, with encouragement and some minor guidance from wee john. he has a little bit of a crisis at first, wondering if he only felt like a man because he didn't make a very pretty woman, but he talks it all through in fits and starts - primarily in out of context ambushes - with john and jim, learns more about drag, etc, and eventually gets comfortable with being a man who pretends to be a woman sometimes and just happens to be very good at it due to certain biological advantages lol

later functionally becomes ed's drag mom, the way john was for him - featuring many more instances of dressing him up like he did for the party in season one

realizes after being folded into the found family that he LOVES cuddling, and physical intimacy of all kinds. like basically discovers acts of service is actually not his only love language. nothing makes him feel more content than being physically in sync with someone.

at some point pete decides he wants to stop being all talk and actually live up to all the shit he's bragged about, but he doesn't want everyone else to know and/or there to be any witnesses to him being bad at stuff at first. so he solicits secret lessons from izzy, and izzy gives them and keeps the secret without condition.

he's basically the gordon ramsay of piracy. if you're learning and you're working at it, he's patient and attentive. if you act like you don't have anything to learn or make claims you can't back up, he calls you a fucking donkey.

grows his hair out. adores having it played with.

takes his job as "unicorn" very seriously. all of his duties are pretty much assigned to him via his own perception of what the fuck being the ship's unicorn even means, but if he says something is or isn't his job everyone goes with it without question. he sometimes abuses this fact, but only with ed lmao.

has each member of the crew add their own x to his tattoo and ends up with a little constellation of slightly differently shaped stars across his cheek/temple

SHRIEKS IN JOY

oh these are PERFECT. Excuse me while i squeal over each and every one.

I KNOW THAT PAIN, ED, BABYBOY, DARLING, PRINCESS WITH A DISORDER. He is theeeee most ADHD gremlin. He will randomly describe in perfect detail a day from 10 years ago that Izzy only has the vaguest recollection of, down to the precise inflection in whatever Izzy said to make that moment stick in his mind - but he still doesn't know Izzy's birthday sldkfhgklsdfhg

oh no. OH NO. Tha'ts horrifically cute. And I love that Izzy is a gritty old pirate who can kill without a moment's hesitation - but he cannot tell a good fib to save his life lmao. It's the 'tism

:cris and holds happy baby Izzy close:

I'm WHEEZING at tiny angry scowly Izzy getting fired from a shop for being a bastard refusing to wear a dress, saying fuck this, running away to join the Navy where the wearing of dresses is not requisite, and almost immediately getting fired for STILL BEING A BASTARD. :chinhands: it's so him

I am just. Imagining. Lucius getting hold of Izzy's criminal record in S1 before they really get to know each other. And just being supremely confused that Izzy has actually walked the walk lmao

JEWISH IZZY JEWISH IZZY JEWISH IZZY :clutches that headcanon very close to my chest:

ohhhhhh gosh I LOVE the crew teaching each other casual little things.... language tutors Jim and Frenchie and co., my favourite. I wonder if Izzy teaches them a tiny bit of Hebrew, too? Or if he keeps that very close to his chest. (I love the headcanon that he and Ed are both Jewish, and it's part of what drew them together~)

SCREAMS at Izzy accidentally Revealing Things to Olu because he doesn't realise he speaks that much Spanish.... And at Jim warning him! I also imagine that like, AS SOON as Jim gives that warning, they get the fuck in front of Oluwande with a knife, juuuust in case Izzy goes for him - but Izzy just glares at Oluwande, jerks a nod, and mutters 'first time I've given a man amnesia without having to hit him in the head'. Oluwande awkward-laughs and flees, but though Izzy's a tiny bit wary of him for a few weeks, he doesn't stab him?? So, y'know, success?

also, as ever, I am OBSESSED with Jim and Izzy being casual quiet trans buddies and helping each other out now and then. :gently pushes my headcanon of Izzy helping Jim acquire Ye Olde Top Surgery towards the fandom on a silver plate:

FAKE DATING FAKE DATING AHHHHHHHHHHH

CJIZZY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh (I love Jack being like. 'Yeah I'll fake date you to make Ed jealous, Izzy :D Yeah, absolutely no strings attached. Yeah we're not gonna actually fuck or anything. Of course.' then pulling EVERY string available to get in Izzy's pants dsfklghkdsfgkdlsgf

YESSS TO BOTTOM SUB LEANING VERS SWITCH IZZYYYYYY he has the range, darling! I love the idea that he was Ed's service top for ages, and is legit good with a strap~ >:3c Almost as much as I love subby top Izzy who always comes too soon and goes jellylegged so his partner has to sigh and take over and fuck him into the mattress while telling him what a disappointment he is (which, ofc, only makes him wetter). ......Yes, I blame carryme for this one entirely.

TRANSMASC DRAG QUEEN IZZY TRANSMASC DRAG QUEEN IZZY - I vibe with this on a spiritual level. Also: I can imagine Izzy was REALLY rigidly 'I am a man so I have to be masculine' as a result of internalised transphobia/fear of discovery, so this whole process of realising he can do whatever the fuck he wants, actually, involves a lot of unworking of societal assumptions and confronting past traumas and fears, and Wee John only meant to share something transgressive and fun with Izzy but now Drag Hour is therapy hour too. And honestly, it's good for him and Izzy and Jim, and Izzy's expression goes this amazing mix of offended and delighted and terrified and excited whenever he realises that yes, he is allowed to present himself however he likes and he will 'still be a man'. Although I do think he might draw the line at dresses, and keep to more andro drag? Like, he tries on a pretty dress ONCE and it's a bit Too Much when he sees himself in the mirror - but that's completely okay too, and Wee John and Frenchie are more than happy to help with tailoring outfits that he actually likes!

i AM SCREAMING AT IZZY BEING ED'S DRAG MUM YES YES YES YES YES

ohhhhh.... Izzy being just an absolute cuddle magnet.... be still my heart. I like to imagine that he was too awkward to approach anyone at first, but was SUPREMELY touch starved, so he'd sneak into the cuddle pile on deck at night and then try to wake up in the morning before everyone else. But of COURSE, everyone realises and knows and thinks it's very cute and one day when he tries to make his usual escape (moving slow to try and draw out the warmth and the contact, as well as so as not to wake anyone up) Lucius sleepily grabs his wrist and grumbles, "Izzy, staaaaaay". And, well. How can Izzy say no to that?

PETE IZZY FRIENDSHIP AHHH???? I would read that fic in a heartbeat.

Vis-a-vis the Gordon Ramsey comparison: he has ABSOLUTELY called poor Stede an 'idiot sandwich'

LONG HAIR IZZYYYYYYYYY AHHHHHHHH

Izzy wearing each of the crew's little 'x' kissy marks besides Ed's.... oh, be still my heart. This one got to me. That cheek and his neck and chest are just a map of tiny stars and - OHHHHHHHHHHH you know they're all getting gently smooched

[atopvisenyashill]

general thoughts

damn we started this season strong but once we get past the first catelyn scene it started making me mad lmao

once again…..ATE these bitches up and LEFT NO CRUMBS

shae screaming at tyrion after he tells her to shush is so funny

see this sex scene is fine, whether renly can get it up is actually plot relevant and they’re trying to characterize margaery as a proper player, and show renly is kind of in over his head as well. like it’s a topless scene that at least makes sense to be there.

theon writing then burning a letter warning robb about the attack……….

another sex scene and this time it’s a crazy joffrey one.

oh fuck i completely forgot about dany lmao

cat pulling a knife on petyr. listen i don’t think stoneheart will kill petyr but damn hot damn. do i want catelyn to rip him to pieces slowly ramsay snow style. i can’t wait for red wedding 2.0 that’s the main reason i need the winds of winter, i need to see cat go INSANE killing a few pathetic freys isn’t enough I NEED A REAL WAR CRIME I NEED HER SLAUGHTERING INNOCENT BABIES LET HER ENTER HER VILLAIN ERA FOR REAL

“for the sake of the mother who bore us” CASSANA ESTERMONT MENTION LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo

can i say i think finn (loras) isn’t that good here either

cersei day drinking omg she is so slushed right now when she raised her cup and slurs out “and i say we should thank them”

the tyrion and lancel scene is so good lmao

now what is the point of this random tiff between irri and doreah

this whole scene where dany is scolding aggo and jhogo over trying to steal something from xaro and then her & jorah talk about how savage the dothraki are……did i just experience a racism akskdjd

when catelyn takes brienne’s hand to swear to her and brienne’s face goes so soft, like she wasn’t expecting the affection. gwendoline christie u r a genius and an icon to all queer people everywhere

i might do something with bran and osha first, they make my heart so soft

changes i noticed

i adore shae & sansa. i love this change i think it’s the best change they ever did. the way sansa just went through this intense dinner & is taking her anger out on shae, just a lowly maid, but shae is so unflappable & notices sansa is crying and just decides to stop bitching. sansa wanting someone to brush her hair when one of the first scenes we got of her was catelyn brushing sansa’s hair…

keeping lommy saying he’ll yield and his murder when he asks to be carried but not the original “what do i do if the wolves come” “yield” joke is so fucking LAME I HATE THESE PEOPLE

talisa…….do i do my talisa rant now or later. do i get super high when i rant so it’s funnier and i don’t get legit angry like i want to omg the westerling disrespect never ends

so the margaery character change is the next big one (i’m not ranting about talisa yet). i understand wanting to focus in on her, how she plays the game, how she ~weaponizes~ her femininity in order to gain status. the thing is. i don’t like the ultimate decision to make margaery & olenna the acting heads of their houses when in reality, the tyrell plot is often olenna trying to act AROUND her dumb ass son!! i think this goes back to aging up those 14 year old characters - just makes their stories a bit hollow imo. also this first dress is so ugly omgggg

WAIT I JUST REALIZED THEY CUT WEASEL??? THE GIRL IS IMPORTANT TOO YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING FUCKS

i love to drag dany for naivety in Qarth but this adaption isn’t even naivety it’s just stupidity. she just throws a fit on their doorstep, makes some threats, and thinks that’s gonna get her inside. when i tell you how much i fucking hate dany’s story in s2. is dany actually learning about politics & magic not interesting??? compared to this temper tantrum?!??????

show renly and robb should have hooked up

…..details are fuzzy but iirc brienne doesn’t kill anyone here? catelyn convinces robar royce to let her go, and then LORAS kills them & he believes that brienne killed renly until jaime says otherwise

i will give them “i want to be THE queen” is such a good line

i don’t care for the roose/tywin change. they could have cast someone with more star power as roose if they really just wanted to have maisie playing off someone cool for a few episodes.

i have a conspiracy theory i’m not ready to share yet. we’ll circle back next season.

[sarah-sandwich-writes]

Shouting and a burning smell drag Nash from sleep’s embrace some time later. He’s awake in an instant, on his feet, and throwing open his bedroom door so fast his vision swims.

Jo and Teddy are elbowing each other in front of the stove, their voices intermingled in a jumble about eggs and Gordon Ramsey, but nothing seems emergent.

“What’s on fire?” he demands.

They whip around to goggle at him like toddlers caught sneaking cookies. Then Teddy jumps like he’s been scalded and pops the arm on the toaster. Four blackened slices of toast emerge, smoking faintly.

Jo guffaws. “You imbecile.”

“What setting do you guys keep your toaster on?” Teddy whines. He pinches a slice, but drops it immediately and shakes out his fingers. “Charcoal?”

“Hey, girl’s gotta have her waffles. You’re supposed to check that stuff before you just put bread in and hope for the best.”

“Oh, well, fuck me for assuming toasters get used for toast.”

“I’ll leave that to my brother. Now let me save the eggs.”

“I don’t care what Gordon Ramsay says! They’re better cooked.”

“Oooh, big man can’t handle being inferior to a famous chef.”

“I— That’s not— It’s not an inferiority issue! I just like my eggs crispy.”

As a single malicious entity intent on ruining his day, they turn on Nash as he delicately lowers himself onto the couch.

“Tell him he’s nuts.”

“Tell her to get out and let me cook!”

Nash drops Jo’s blanket over his face. “Unless somethin’ needs extinguished, I’m not here.”

He fuzzes out as their argument continues and their voices turn to wash.

It’s comforting in a weird way. He grew up quiet. Jo did too, at first, but she was little enough when Daddy took off that it didn’t take root in her the same way it did him. Mama was no parade, but she wasn’t a suffocating cloud of imminent violence. She was quiet, though. Quiet in the same way rot is quiet. You don’t realize the danger until you peel back the wallpaper and find evidence of decay all the way through to the supports.

So it’s comforting, the bickering. No longer do they have to fear retribution for living their lives out loud. No longer do they live shrouded in silence, waiting for the covers to be ripped away to reveal clenched fists and hateful words.

He must drift off again because next he knows, the couch is sinking under him and the warm weight of Jo’s blanket has been lifted away. Cool, fragrant air greets him as he blinks the sleep away to find Teddy seated on one side and Jo on the other mashing some charred eggs into a slice of cinnamon-sugared toast.

Teddy hands him a plate without looking. His attention is on Jo as she folds the toast and takes a large bite.

She wrinkles her nose and crumbs spew onto her plate as she says, “This is the driest sandwich I’ve ever been subjected to.”

Blue, like don't forget about me - Sign up for my newsletter to get publishing updates!

[lverscore]

narnia headcanons

topic: celebrating christmas with the pevensies.

lucy and you take charge of decking out cair paravel for christmas, using whatever materials you can find in narnia. lucy's all about that diy life, so she insists on making everything herself.

she's all about those homemade decorations, while susan is more of a store-bought kinda girl. but lucy knows exactly how to guilt trip susan into letting her do her own thing, and susan eventually caves.

lucy goes all out, making garlands out of holly and ivy, and she's a pro at painting wooden snowflakes. she turns your place into a winter wonderland with her crafty skills.

peter and edmund take on the responsibility of greeting and managing the guests, but their approaches couldn't be more different. peter is all serious and professional about it.

on the other hand, edmund can't resist the temptation of the cookie tray intended for the guests. he slyly devours the cookies, thinking he's being sneaky.

when peter catches him in the act and asks about the missing cookies, edmund playfully argues that their role was pretty dull, so he was just adding a bit of excitement by munching on the treats.

susan takes the lead in preparing the epic christmas feast, and she means business. she's like a gordan ramsay in the kitchen, all professional and intense.

she's a cooking genius, and her dishes always come out on top. but let me tell you, she's not one to mess around. if a single sprinkle dares to be out of place on a cupcake, she'll lose her cool in an instant.

with susan in charge, the christmas feast becomes a culinary masterpiece. every dish is flawlessly cooked and beautifully presented, thanks to her attention to detail and high standards. you better believe it's going to be a feast to remember!

so, after all the guests make their exit, it's gift time! and guess what? peter and the others come up with the coolest idea—a treasure hunt just for you!

they leave these cute little notes all over the place, showing their appreciation and guiding you to your present.

finally, you find your gift, wrapped in your absolute favourite colour paper. lucy's attention to detail totally pays off, making it extra special.

you rip open the wrapping with excitement, and the siblings are bursting with anticipation. and what do you find? a handmade wooden jewelry box, decked out with intricate carvings of golden leaves on the lid. talk about fancy!

as you open the box, there it is—a beautiful necklace that susan personally chose just for you. it's the perfect match for your style, and you can't help but feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

oh, and let's not forget the handwritten card from edmund. yeah, he's not big on showing affection, so that card means something. it's like a little treasure of its own, reminding you of the special bond you all share.

[keep-the-wolves-close]

Steady Heart

Chapter 36: Brother

* Pairing: Slow-burn Kayce Dutton x OFC Stella Daniels

* Rating: M

* Warnings: language, death, delivering death notice

* Word count: 1,302ish

I would love to give credits to @dameronscopilot and @deanscroissant for being sounding boards for me during this whole process, giving outsider insight, being cheerleaders, and allowing me to screech at them about things that have happened during the writing process. I seriously couldn't have gotten this far without y'all.

Author's note: I hope everyone is enjoying so far! I hope you love this chapter as well! This is shorter than normal, but it made sense to break it up like this because of the heaviness that comes with the next chapter. Y��all are about to hate me lmao.

Jimmy and Stella were up on a flatbed unloading hay while Jamie put it in the barn. Cowboy sat off to the side cleaning his tack.

“Hey if you’re not gonna help, could you at least get outta the way?” Jimmy groaned, picking up another bale. “Explain this day-working thing to me. Because it seems to me like you live here now, but you only work when we move cows, and we already shipped out all the fuckin’ cows. So, what? Now you just get paid to do nothing?”

“That about sums it up.” Cowboy answered.

“Hey Jamie? Tell your dad I’m a day worker now.”

Jamie laughed and picked up another bale. “I think my father just forgot that he’s still here.”

“So now you’re gonna run and remind him?” Cowboy asked.

“Not my place.”

“You know Jamie, of all the dipshits in this outfit, you just might be alright.” Jamie and Stella laughed.

The cops pulled up. Stella frowned and called out to Jamie. “Jame!” He jogged out hearing Stella’s urgency.

He asked her, “what?” He scowled as he followed her pointed finger toward the cops. “Everyone stay here.”

Jamie moved around the flatbed and took his gloves off. “Commander, he’s up at the house.”

“I’m not here to see John. Lookin’ for Jimmy Hurdstrom.” Stella frowned again, trying to figure out what the commander could be looking for Jimmy for. The two of them jumped down from the flatbed.

Commander Ramsay spotted Jimmy and began moving toward him and Stella. Jamie asked, “um, what’s he being charged with?”

“Not being charged with anything.” Ramsay’s tone changed. “Jimmy.”

Jimmy looked at Jamie and he gave him a nod of approval. Ramsay walked Jimmy off to the side, away from everyone.

“It’s bad news. We found your grandfather this morning.”

“Found him? What do you mean?” Jimmy stepped forward. Stella stepped up behind him.

“It seems he’d been assaulted recently. And it appears a blood vessel in his brain ruptured as a result and he had a stroke and… I’m sorry.” Jimmy started hyperventilating. Stella placed her hand on his shoulder trying to keep him grounded. “Were you aware of this assault? Know anyone who would want to hurt him? He have a disagreement with anyone?” Commander Ramsay questioned quickly. Jimmy shook his head numbly. “You think of something, you let me know. We need to go to the coroner’s office and sign some paperwork. I’m sorry for your loss.” Commander Ramsay walked back to his vehicle.

Jamie raced over to Jimmy and Stella. “Jaybird, it’ll be okay. We’ll help you with whatever you need.” He looked at Stella but stared right through her.

“They killed him. I paid and they still killed him.”

Her jaw dropped. “What?”

“I fucking paid and they still fucking killed him.” Jimmy yelled and pulled free of her grasp running off.

Stella and Jamie followed behind him to make sure he didn’t do anything too irrational. They stood behind him while he beat a tree relentlessly. She looked out to the horizon as the wranglers who were out prepping for the winter came cantering up.

“What the hell is he doing?” Kayce asked, glancing at Rip.

“C’mon.” Rip directed.

The men galloped up to them and Rip slid off his horse. He paced up to Jimmy as he stormed past everyone.

Rip grabbed Jimmy by the jacket. “What’re you doing?”

“I need a truck.”

“Hey, tell me what happened.” They fumbled with each other’s arms as Jimmy tried to fight his way past. “Hey, hey, Jimmy, hey hey. What just happened?”

“They killed him. They killed him and it’s my fault.” Jimmy struggled to get Rip off of him.

“Who did, Jimmy? Talk to me.” Rip glanced at the rest of the men waiting in the wings. “Lloyd, Lloyd, go on.” Lloyd moved everyone by.

Rip forced Jimmy to move away from the remaining group. “C’mere, c’mere.” Rip grabbed Jimmy by the jacket and forced Jimmy to face him. “Hey. Go on and tell me what happened. What happened.”

“I owed money.”

“So they beat your old man to make you pay.”

“Yeah.”

“Why’d you owe money?” Jimmy didn’t answer. “Why’d you owe them money, Jimmy?”

“My past life.”

“You owe anyone else from the past?” Jimmy shook his head. “Okay gimme the rifle.”

“I’m gonna finish this.”

“Hey! You look at me. You finish it like this, you end up in fuckin’ prison for the rest of your life. I’m gonna show you how to get rid of problems so they don’t become new problems. You hear me? Now hand me the rifle.” Jimmy shoved the rifle at Rip. “Hey, c’mere.” Rip hugged Jimmy partially and patted his back. “Go inside. Let me talk to Kayce.”

Stella looked up at Kayce with sad eyes as she answered his unspoken question. “Someone killed his grandfather.”

“Fuck.” Kayce placed his hands on his hips and watch Rip tread over to them.

Rip stepped up to Kayce and Stella. “We need to take care of this tonight.”

Kayce objected. “We got a lot going on right now. May have to wait.”

“Kayce, you know we can’t do that.” Stella pushed back. “We’re literally all he has. He’s our brother now, and we’re our brother’s keeper.”

Rip shrugged. “I’m fine with waitin’, but he ain’t. Then we’re gonna have to clean up that fuckin’ mess too.”

“Yeah. We do it tonight.”

••

“Stella!”

She whipped her head in John’s direction. “Yessir?”

“I’ve got some broodmare paperwork for you to fill out up at the house. A couple contracts for studs for you to take a look at too.”

Stella’s eyes lit up like fire. “Of course I’ll look at them!” That job that was mentioned to her was finally coming back around.

Inside John’s office, she sat behind his desk and poured over the stud contracts in front of her. Metallicat, Bet Hesa Cat, Once In A Blu Boon; names that made her mouth salivate. These were studs she’d only ever dreamed of. John observed her closely.

“So what do ya think?”

She blew out a breath and sat back in the chair, crossing her legs at the knee. “I mean, these are some great studs sir. Definitely bred to do what we need. But they’re show horses. Are we going the show route first?”

“Travis thinks it would help get us proven a little bit faster.”

“One thing that would help us is if we bought a couple mares that have been big earners that are strictly broodmares now. But that’s gonna be a pretty penny.”

Kayce spied his dad and Stella putting their heads together. He was amazed at the way they worked together when Stella didn’t want to murder him. He wondered if this was what people saw when he and Stella worked on a problem. He cleared his throat. Both Stella and John looked up at him over their glasses. He smirked at the similarity.

He walked over to Stella and leaned down to kiss her cheek quickly. “Hey. Whatcha workin’ on?”

“Some of this broodmare and stud stuff. My actual job title here.” Stella laughed.

“Finally,” he shot a look at his dad and then focused back on Stella. “Where’s Tate?”

She adjusted her glasses and hummed. “He’s in his room, but grandpa was just about to go spend time with him. Isn’t that right John?”

He took his cue to leave. “Yeah, I need to go talk to him about his horse.”

Kayce and Stella watched him head off for his grandson. Kayce adjusted his black jacket. “I swear he gets more affection in one day than we got in our entire childhood.”

“Speak the truth, Kace.” She huffed out a laugh. “But it probably explains why we are the way we are.” She took in his outfit. “Where you headed?”

“That thing with Jimmy.”

Stella stood to meet him. He ducked his head and kissed her multiple times. She laughed at him and pulled back. “Listen, I know it has to be done. Just be careful, okay? Come home to me.”

“I will. Every time.” He kissed her again.

“Who’s all going with you?”

“Your brother, Rip and Lloyd.”

“Please keep everyone safe too.”

“We got each other’s backs.”

“Since Tate is with your dad, I’m gonna go take Abigail out for a ride. It’s been too long since I’ve been on her.” She picked her jacket off the back of John’s chair.

“Just don’t go too far out, okay sugar?”

“Yessir.” She smiled and kissed him.

[francis-writes]

Can I request a oneshot for Ramsey Bolton x fem reader where the reader is a servant and Ramsey is attracted to her but doesn’t act on it and she accidentally stumbles upon him killing his father and she hides in the corner somewhere in the room and over hears him planning to kill his stepmother and brother so she tries to help them and get to them before Ramsey dose but she is unsuccessful and Ramsey discovers what she tried to do so she begs for forgiveness and he tells her he will consider it if she can prove to him why she deserves it so he takes her to the room where he flays people and has sex with her on the X-shaped cross ?

A/N: it isn't really good but in my defense, I wrote like half of it while still high on acid so...

Warnings: it's Ramsay, what do you expect

You were watching from behind the corner, praying to all the Gods so your presence would remain hidden and unnoticed. Otherwise you would end up in worse situation that those people you tried to protect.

Your were barely breathing, listening to the screams of Fat Walda. You weren't even able to look at it, just a few moments after dogs attacked her, you turned away your gaze, feeling nauseous. You would love to be wherever else, as far as possible from this place but right now there were no escape from hearing the gut-wrenching screams of agony as woman and her child were ripped apart by the hounds.

You closed your eyes, distancing yourself from overhelming reality but soon you felt a hand on your shoulder.

"What are you doing here?" Ramsay asked. His voice wasn't angry but it didn't matter. You saw him flaying people with a calm mundane voice so you never knew what's awaiting you in his presence.

"I was just walking to the kitchen-" you tried to quickly make up and excuse but Ramsay only slapped your face. You touched tour burning cheek.

"Don't lie. I heard what you were talking about with my stepmother. You came here to warn them"

You simply nodded. Whatever the punishment will be, better not make it any worse.

"Forgive me, my lord, I made a mistake... Please, show me mercy" you pleaded, avoiding looking right into his cold eyes.

Ramsay observed you with mixed feelings. Your betrayal ignited his anger, and you should pay for your lack of loyalty. But at the other hand, seeing you terrified, cowering like a beaten dog... that was a gorgeus sight.

You were on his mind for quite some time but he didn't show it before. He was only observing you wander through the halls and do your chores while he fantasized about taking you on a hunt or pulling you to the nearest bedroom. Even during the feasts, while you were serving him, he only looked, holding himself back from pulling you on his lap and sliding a hand under your dress.

"Can you prove that you deserve it?"

"Hm?" That wasn't the smartest answer. It wasn't even mediocre sensible. But you didn't expect your pleads to bring any sort of answer, except for slow and cruel death.

"If you prove that you're worth of my forgiveness, you'll receive it"

You felt on your knees, ignoring the mud staining your clothes and freezing your knees.

"Thank you my lord, I will do anything, just tell me how I can prove myself-"

Ramsay cut your monologue, pulling you from the ground and leading you inside the castle. You felt disgusted by how much you had to humiliate yourself but it was still better from tortures. Just in case it saved you from any because Ramsay went into the dungeons.

Your anxiety has increased when you entered one of the cells and you saw X-shaped cross standing in the middle. You knew well what happened to people who ended up here.

"Will you flay me?" You asked, just to make sure and spare yourself the torture of uncertainty.

"No, as long as you behave. So if you want to keep your skin, take off your clothes"

You obeyed him, though still frozen with fear. Your dress landed on the floor and you were standing in front of him completely bare. Ramsay took your hand and lead you to the cross, then he started fastening your arms to the cross with a strong rope. You could feel it pressing and scraping your skin but you gritted your teeth, trying not to make a sound.

When he finished his job, Ramsay took a knife from the table. You thought that he lied and it's gonna be your end but he started carving letters on your chest. You moaned quietly as pain pierced your body. You looked down and noticed that under blood runnig down your body, Ramsay was carving his name in your skin.

"No one will doubt now, whom I belong to" you said, not sure why but after all experienced anxiety and fear, your mind get rid of every barrier and sensible plans. You were one foot in a grave and nothing mattered anymore.

When he finished his art, Ramsay leaned over and licked your wounds. You arched your back, in mix of pain and pleasure. His warm tongue caressing your broken skin brought you some twisted form of excitement. The same one you always felt looking at Ramsay. You knew about his depravities and what he could do to you, but you couldn't help desiring him. He was alluring in a way of forest fire, that brings death and destruction, but you can't stop looking at it. You dreamed about his touch for many years but you never expect it would happen in such circumstances.

Ramsay crouched and started kissing your naked legs, going up and getting closer to your crotch. Then, out of sudden, he bit your inner thigh and you gave out a quiet scream. You didn't look at him but you were more than sure that he smiled hearing this.

He stood up, his warm calloused hands wandered across your body, caressing your belly, breast, hips and squeezing your butt.

Finally his hand wandered between your legs.

"Your already wet" he noticed with smugness in his voice "So that's what you like? Pain? Being on my mercy?"

You wanted to deny, to don't give him that knowledge. But you knew he wouldn't believe you and he would torture you until you admit it; though some of these tortures would probably turn you on.

You nodded.

He lifted your legs,  so you could embrace your hips with them. He pulled out his dick, and entered you without any preparation. Fortunately, you were already wet enough so it went smoothly. He pressed his body to you and stared thrusting. Ramsay nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck and you felt his hot breath of your skin. Occasionaly, he bit your neck and shoulders. Now it was more exciting than painful, though you knew you were going to wear bruises for a long time.

He had to be very turned on because after few minutes of fucking you, he gasped and feeled you to the brim with his seed. He pulled out and you could feel his cum running down your legs.

"So... will you free me now, my lord? You asked while he was pulling on his trousers. Ramsay chuckled and walked to the table with his tools.

"If you think it's an end, you haven't been paying attention . We're gonna spend a lot of time together "

[dustedmagazine]

Emily Robb — If I Am Misery Then Give Me Affection (Petty Bunco)

There’s no shortage of squall on Emily Robb’s new album, If I Am Misery Then Give Me Affection. It’s a guitar pageant! One listen and you’ll hear Charley Patton amidst the buzz, his primitive blues lurking in the cacophony. Pull those impulses forward 40 years and you’ll hear familiar sounds that take you right to the early Velvets.

Robb’s guitar hums like a pipe organ to open the record. “Hermit’s Cave” evolves from a solemn hymn into a harmonic drone, punctuated only when the amp catches its breath, then receding. But if you think her sophomore album sounds like a somber affair, you’d be sorely mistaken.

Robb rips into the familiar chug and wail she introduced on her fantastic debut album, How to Moonwalk, with “A Kiss,” soloing relentlessly over a looping riff.  “Dispenser” finds her sawing the air with the guitar, growing only more frenzied as the song unravels. The centerpiece of the record, “Slowing Singing Bathing Shaving” locates Robb’s sound among the drone for which Philadelphia is so well known.

But there’s an intimacy here, too. It’s not a noise bath. It’s a deeply personal record – not in the sense that it’s telling a story that feels like a secret being shared – but that it’s just Robb and her guitar, alone together. The sound is at once austere and rich; you might overlook how the raw vulnerability of her work is what makes it so compelling. Unlike the maelstrom that is Astute Palate, there’s nowhere to hide in the mix.

That aspect reveals itself in the record’s more plaintive moments, like the meditative, “First Grow a Gold Plant,” underpinned by a throbbing chord that pulses beneath the melody. It’s countered immediately afterward by the wooly rave up  “Rolling Electric Ball.” It’s just a classic wall of riffage that blankets the listener in fuzz before decaying on the runout.

What makes Emily Robb’s work so remarkable is how much is clearly left in the tank. She’s an inventive, exciting artist making fun, engaging music. If misery loves company, then consider yourself invited.

J.T. Ramsay

[rosaluxembae]

"Lord Ramsay descended from the dais to the dead boy. His father rose more slowly, pale-eyed, still-faced, solemn. "This was foul work." For once Roose Bolton's voice was loud enough to carry. "Where was the body found?""

[...]

"Ser Hosteen Frey ripped his longsword from its scabbard and leapt toward Wyman Manderly. The Lord of White Harbor tried to jerk away, but the tabletop pinned him to his chair. The blade slashed through three of his four chins in a spray of bright red blood. Lady Walda gave a shriek and clutched at her lord husband's arm. "Stop," Roose Bolton shouted. "Stop this madness." His own men rushed forward as the Manderlys vaulted over the benches to get at the Freys. One lunged at Ser Hosteen with a dagger, but the big knight pivoted and took his arm off at the shoulder. Lord Wyman pushed to his feet, only to collapse. Old Lord Locke was shouting for a maester as Manderly flopped on the floor like a clubbed walrus in a spreading pool of blood. Around him dogs fought over sausages."

Bolton's quiet voice that people strain to hear is a symbol of his power. He doesn't have to be loud and directly assertive because he forces people to listen with his cold influence. Raising his voice in this chapter is symbolic of how he's losing control and I think it's a nice touch

[hourglassfish]

On Season 1, Episode 7 : Part One : I Expect More: Syd and Carmy's Relationship

So I think this is gonna end up being in a few chunks - I think I want to talk about context leading up to the episode:

I Expect More: Syd and Carmy's relationship,

I know you'll be listening: Marcus, McDonald's and Freedom

Risottogate

Hiring New Fucking Broads: Syd, Richie and conflict;

"That's Not You" The Moment Syd Walks Out

So I'm late on this obvs - and I'm sure the whole world and his dog has already said what needs to be said about this episode, but I wanted to think about it anyway. There's a post on here somewhere that says that episode 7 doesn't have a three act structure, that it captures a moment of stress and tension, and that's it - but this isn't quite how I read it, I believe that it does both. How obvious this is all depends on how you frame it.

There's a central feint to The Bear that I come back to often - that you think 'a stranger comes to town' and that that stranger is the return of Carmy, made strange by his time away. Nah! The stranger is Sydney. The show doesn't really start until she arrives, (we know that Carmy's been in Chicago for two weeks, but our story doesn’t start there. There's a reason for this!) she is a force that is shaking things up and providing dynamism. This is not to say Carmy isn't the protagonist, obvs, nor that he is passive, very much not. But it is often her presence, her drive and determination and belief in Carmy, a belief she is unafraid to unabashedly express, which moves him, and moves everyone around him. When she is around, and Carmy lets himself lean into their connection, he is able to articulate - and action - what he wants, to ‘let it rip’.

I say this in relation to episode 7, cus if your focus is Carmy, then it's one minute in time, a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. But if you focus in on Sydney, it is the story of how she came to quit. Whenever someone is like 'She's a brat! She's arrogant! it was her fault!' - I'm like OK sure - if you want to completely identify with Carmy at his worst, we can do that, and if you want to ignore how the rest of the staff respond to what happens, sure, we can do that too. We can do that. But the show is really clear on the framing of what happens.

So let's begin with the context of where this day comes from.

There is an ambiguity to Carmy and Sydney's working relationship which very much works in his favour. Very much.

In the week that she staged, Syd quickly finds herself as sous, because she has to. The kitchen is not functioning, and Carmy does not have the emotional skills, or at least the emotional bandwidth, to navigate the grief and anger and dysfunction they are all engaged in, to get the kitchen to a place where it can work. There was a reason Kitchen Nightmares made such compelling TV, and it was because behind bad food, ugly decor and terrible profit margins were almost always a bunch of people that were hurting. Carmy may be Gordon Ramsay here, but its Syd who's the hard working, behind the scenes producer, doing the actual graft that pulls it all back together.

She then spent her time away from work essentially formulating a business plan (she proposes first! way before 1:8) to make the restaurant profitable. We know Carmy is bad at this. Richie articulates as much ; 'you've been here two weeks and we've had money problems for two weeks'. Sydney's able to not only see the problems in a week but also suggest practical fixes. This is where they overspend i.e. its the delivery on the flour, not the material itself - and this is how to fix it - Marcus drives to pick it up. Instantly actionable. She has skills from Sheridan that are better suited to running a business like the Beef than the skills and tastes that Carm has from being Chef De Carmy* at Eleven Madison Park or Noma. It will never not be funny to me that she presents this to him in episode 2, and that in episode 3 he says 'I'll dial business, you do everything else' - my guy she has already done it!!! You are not slick!

She's does a lot of the emotional labour of getting the brigade into shape: the shitty, endless nagging, being the bad (or at least annoying) guy over and over again, despite clearly being one of the youngest there, and the newest member of staff. She does this without the authority of being an owner, or a member of the family. I'm gonna try and avoid referring to gender and race explicitly here - like the show does, LOL - but like... it's there. We all know it's there.

We know she is brilliant in a crisis: in Sheridan Carmy tells her they can't afford to lose a single service, so when the electricity goes and the gas goes, she sets up a fucking BBQ from found building materials outside. It's kind of incredible, and they all know and acknowledge it. (Sheridan, Review and The Bear are three different stories of crisis management, and thinking about them that way is really useful)

She is in! 100%. All of her energy and creativity and care and patience have gone into The Bear, it flourishes under the love that is still looking for a home following Sheridan Road’s demise. They are fucking so lucky to have her, and to have her at this specific moment in time.

What exactly does she get back from Carmy for that? There's her wage, of course. She's working well beyond what she's being paid, but you know, it's her job. There's a bunch of stuff we could say about the satisfaction of doing a job well - but that's not what she gets from him.

She supposedly gets a boss that listens to her, she gets to not have some psycho stood behind her pushing and screaming. But this is conditional. He may not scream at her (up until episode 7) but he'll 'cut her down to size' if he needs to - the conversation about stock/jus/demi-glace in episode 3, mentioning that he sought out references and slapping her with a bunch of unanticipated feedback from all her former employers when he essentially wants her to shut up about the risotto/short rib, lots of co-ercive 'are we good chef?' business (straight out of the Donna playbook, I am not, and I cannot emphasise this enough, a fan).

The main thing she gets is to be close to him and learn from him, which we know was really important for her. I think he knows it too. JAW plays it as though he knows she lied about coming to the Beef every Sunday. She’s up front on knowing who he is, so it’s not a stretch to believe that he also knows that she's there for him. She plays her cards close to her chest on all this for a reason: that same admiration has the potential to set up a very specific power dynamic, one where she simply wants to be in the presence of his 'greatness'. ***

That's the exchange, for so, so, so much labour. It's not really equitable, and I think this is a tension throughout the show**, and why I'm never fully on board with sydcarmy stuff, even whilst being able to see the vision. Like... you should be staring at her with adoration, fam, and you should be fucking terrified that she’ll leave! She's carrying a lot of this shit! Carmy knows that, even if you don’t! You don’t make an offer like the one at the end of S1 unless you really want to hold on to that person - be that romantic, platonic, or purely pragmatic (she’s a good worker). In Hands he explicitly tells her that it’s much more work than he can pay her for.

(I'm still quietly horrified by the fact that Syd is deferring her wages for six months... but not getting a profit share? fam. FAM! Looked at through a race and gender lens? In Chicago? It is no coincidence that the people that most explicitly tells her to be cautious are her father and another Black woman)

I want to make sure I've clearly said that none of this is intended as a blistering criticism of Carmy. I feel immense sympathy for him. He is grieving, and having arrived late*****, he has missed much of the communal grieving processes, like funerals, and sorting through people's stuff, that people really need to do together. He's absolutely burnt out and the role he is in requires a skill set he does not yet have (it is poignant that Syd is like ‘why are you buying farmer’s market produce?’ - Tina is right to point out that it’s not Noma, Richie and Michael’s system will have had its strengths). I'm not sure if anyone at The Beef truly knows the extent of his panic/anxiety, nor do I think he is getting treatment. I imagine he must be in flight/fight mode 24 hours a day, which, as anyone who has experienced this knows, feels like you're literally about to die. Always. Always. We are not designed to feel like that for so long.

I don't think he's some machiavellian mastermind extracting her labour from her. I think she is a lifeline and he clings. She offers, and he takes. We know from 2:9 's panic attack, that her seeing him, really, truly, *seeing* him was a deeply meaningful moment for him, that her making the choice to be at the Beef with him before she truly knew him was affirmative and transformative, and her staying, even after watching Richie bully and undermine him, even more so. I rewatched Hands today, and when she hands him the portfolio and tells him he needs help… his little face! Carmy is moving from crisis to crisis, but Syd’s head is just a little bit above the parapet, and she can think differently. He needs that, and no one deserves to feel alone with all the problems he is carrying with The Beef.

That said, I also think he can buy into his own hype, (it’s a good thing, that your sister doesn’t think you’re a genius fam), enjoys when Syd buys into it too and struggles when she does not. This is understandable. The only other person who really understands his success is Pete, who is bottom of the pecking order. He got very successful, very young. He worked hard for that but he also has the expected ego (we’ll return to this!) regardless of the fact that he is a decent guy. Syd is often negotiating this ego. He listens to her, depends on her and needs her, but he also gets to hold her to his unspecific 'higher standard',**** and 'expect more' when they clash or disagree, to wield small mistakes over her like a thunderstorm, to remind her that they both come from a cooking world where abuse is casual and accepted in pursuit of excellence.

This lack of clarity is such a fertile breeding ground for abuse. When you live in a society that is built on abusive dynamics, abuse isn't something that only evil monsters do, it's a clear and constant danger that anyone can slip into at any moment in time. That is why clear, well communicated boundaries are so important.

Everything that happens in episode 7 is a result of this messiness that has been coalescing around The Beef from the start of the series. The ambiguity of this specific dynamic, so central to the restaurant and the show itself, is one of the cornerstones of that.

Carmy can change up the dynamic of their relationship at any moment. He can be her 'mentor' when he wants to cut her down to size, he can be her 'partner' when he needs work from her, he can be a romantic and sensitive 'friend' (that looks like Jeremy Allen White) when he needs her to stay. She can never quite find her feet.

In episode 7, their dynamic changes multiple times. Are they going to be partners that solve this problem together? She tries for that, but she is swiftly, and brutally, ejected from the expo, a role that she has been in pretty much consistently, since the moment she gets the job. The team defers to her, as they've become used to, right up until the moment he screams at her to move. As in Brigade, with the stock, she is being humiliated again.

Will he be her friend, with their connection being the motor for everything else? Ehhhhn, she tries twice to talk about his clear frustration about the risotto review, he is it not having it!

Perhaps he will be her mentor here, who will model best practice in the face of a crisis they deal with together? Well… he certainly models something.

The pre order option being left on is a small mistake. Easily done, a box was ticked or unticked. Small, like leaving a packet of cigarettes near a burner while you scrub the floor, or spilling a bottle of Xanax in a children’s drinks cooler. Much less dangerous too. An easy mistake to make, and the show as a whole is very permissive about mistake making. A huge part of Uncle Jimmy’s narrative role is to make it so that mistakes don’t really stick! The show does not punish fucking up.

Maybe if they had gotten Richie set up on the tablet earlier, they'd have noticed it then. Maybe if Carmy, who was ‘dialling business’ while Syd did everything else had been training Richie, he would have clocked it instead. We’ll never know. What we do know is that there is no perspective around this, Syd’s mistake, and that when the time comes to solve it, both men ignores the skills that they know she has, and dismiss the good faith she should have accrued from months of dedication. Any warmth, respect, gratitude and care that Carmy has had for Syd up until this point dissipates, almost instantly. It's a deeply destabilising moment for the whole kitchen, but for their relationship especially.

It's hard to say much more without referring to the next sections. So...

More next time!

*I know it's Chef De Cuisine, but Chef De Carmy or Carmy De Cusine is more fun to say

**and in a bunch of work places, tbh, where a white male 'genius' is surrounded by a group of POC and women working their arses off while him and his mates dip in and out... OH NO I WENT THERE

*** I think this drives a lot of Carmy's absenteeism as well. It's weird to watch season one post season two, and see how often the team is split, for good and bad reasons. In Hands, Syd and Richie are both doing Carmy's head in, and he jumps at the chance to send them to get caulk. There’s the infamous Al Anon run in Brigade, followed by him sort of lolling about in the office (I know he’s bookkeeping), in Sheridan he does the meat run to Nat/Pete's, in Dogs they're doing the kids bday party, in Ceres for a large chunk of the day he's in the office... it's not the same as his abandoning of Syd with the menu, but you can see how scattered he is from day one, between the demands of the Beef and the demands of his family. I dunno how Michael did it, tbh. Well he couldn't, could he. That's the tragedy.

**** truly cringe to listen to a white man tell a Black woman he holds her to a different standard, as though the world is not already doing that to her. I remain, a sydcarmy safe space but ooooof. I dunno. Like I don’t need or want the Shonda ‘twice as hard, half as much’ speech to be in the show, but the women, especially the WOC, in this show don’t half put up with some shit.

***** convinced this will be a plot point next season, btw. There will be a reason why he wasn’t there and it’ll come up around Marcus’s mom’s funeral, or palliative care.