#Rewatching 2014 was torture...

[hyenagurl]

i’ve never watched got bc of all the violence (against women) etc but is hotd better? i’m really curious cos i’ve heard a lot of good things about it 👀

ive only watched a portion of season 1, i kinda stopped bc i didnt really like this one scene that happens during a wedding (if u watch u might know what i mean) but to answer your question yes hotd is in many ways better than GoT. GoT’s early seasons, the ones considered good (which they generally are) are still disappointing to me bc the budget for prestige tv in 2011-2014 was a LOT smaller than prestige tv now, i think the budget per episode was like $1-2m ? HotD is very plainly a lot bigger in budget and so the entire scope of its story is done a lot more justice, where as GoT had to cut and mismanage a lot of scenes both for budget reasons and to attempt to make it “read” better on tv, unfortunately this led to worse problems later on…

regarding the violence against women, i would say the hotd is a lot better based on what i saw.GoT the show straight up added prolonged rape and torture scenes on its female characters that werent even in the books; HoTd explores themes of the same topics with a lot more grace and empathy, imo (so far, i still need to rewatch and get to s2). i think its cause both stories are centered around primogeniture and misogyny so its kind of inevitable, but hotd def handles it better

[bluedandylyon]

I'm conflicted - ARCANE SPOILERS !

On one hand - the 2 expectations I had going into szn 2 were cativi kissing and the full appearance of Warwick - which I knew both were going to happen anyway. I love Arcane bc of what LoL (unfortunately) means to me, and the fact that I've shipped Caitvi since 2014, but I never adored the show bc it just brought me so much pain that I couldn't rewatch it often and brainrot the way I have with She-Ra for example. Visually it's the most beautiful and thoughtful piece of art I have ever watched, but in terms of the story... At some point it just starts feeling like torture porn when shit keeps going horribly sideways with no breaks. So I kept my expectations low.

I initially loved season 2, but by the end of Act 2 I just realized it was impossible to have a satisfying ending to all the shit they introduced. They flew too close to the sun. Season 1 was already BLOATED by the ensemble, but it was character-driven and the pacing was good enough. But now that I have sat a day with season 2 I just feel like they went full spectacle and forgot the grounding power their characters had in the first place.

Don't get me wrong, again, the visuals were INSANE this season. The explorations of different mediums like watercolor, charcoal, utilizing different frames per second blew my lil animation-loving mind. And Fortiche has absolutely perfected the art of "show, don't tell". But the writers were too greedy. This is a show that started as a class critique, an exploration of power corrupting ideals, a tale of two sisters whose circumstances forced them apart and an exploration of the mental toll that leaves them with. We end with an abstract, surrealist take on how love is the root of twisted emotions and how in the search for it, we can lose our humanity in the process.

Which sounds great right? But... those are two different things, two different thesis statements. And two different thesis statements require different characters to carry the message. So in the end, the sisters we started with get completely sidelined for two different characters. Which again, would not be a bad thing unless this is the story we started with, but it ends up feeling disjointed and unsatisfying. Add the torture porn season 1 was already gratuitous with, and you end up deeply unsatisfied if you cared about any of the main characters from season 1.

Gone are the themes from season 1 and so the main character's arcs are cut before they properly finish, because we have moved on to new, shinier themes now! It feels like introspective emotional peaks and lows were spedrun in order to get more scenes of action-packed suffering and spectacle in. There is no room to breathe. When a show gets terrified of "filler", it cuts essential character moments as a consequence.

The more I sit with it, the more disappointed I feel. I had low expectations, but then Act 1 and the beginning of Act 2 gave me hope. I get that Arcane was EXPENSIVE and they probably didn't have the budget to animate more, but then they should've taken that into account when they decided to further bloat the already insane ensemble of characters and plot threads.

Again, I just feel really conflicted.

[mercurygray]

Merc, what kind of Historical Military Man gets the wheels turning for you? What are the markers of 'Oh, that one, that one is now mine'?

Nat, I'm going to be honest, this question provoked something of an existential crisis. so I went back through, like, 20 years of fandom favorites to see if there's a pattern.

Spoiler: there isn't, apart from a perennial need to be different. This is kind of long .

2001 (ish) - Lord of the Rings is coming out, and you are either a Legolas or Aragorn girl. I am deep in my 'not like the other girls' phase and decide Boromir is actually the superior choice here. (This leads me to watch A LOT of period dramas that are probably not appropriate for for me at this age, including Clarissa and Lady Chatterley's Lover.) It also leads me to the Sharpe books, which are great and awesome. Richard Sharpe doesn't necessarily do anything for me as a character, but that gets me into Hornblower, which gets me into the Aubreyad, which leads me to read a lot about the Napoleonic Wars in high school. Cliff-diving into a different historical period is now something I do every single summer.

I also spend about 5 years (2008-2013) writing a 225,000 word fanfic in which Boromir doesn't die.

2010-2015

Matthew Crawley (Dan Stevens) is really only in the army a brief while but who can say no to the blue eyes and the absolute vibe he has going with Mary?

During the Downton phase I decide to raid the library for other period dramas, again, and watch The Forsyte Saga. Soames Forsyte is not a man you love, but Damian Lewis has A Face and I know he was on Band of Brothers, which the library perennially never has a copy of.

2011

I finally watch Band of Brothers in its entirety my senior year of college and am a little disappointed I appear to be missing large parts of the story. (Future rewatches will explain that this is actually a feature of the show, not a bug.) My recollections of this are hazy, but I'm fairly certain my favorite character the first time I watched this was Lewis Nixon (Ron Livingston). He's dark-haired, he's funny, he's an absolute mess with a trust fund. Dick Winters (Damian Lewis) also has one hell of a face. He's a red-head, he's in charge of everyone else, he doesn't say much, and he is tall. I know there must be fic for this show but am also very, very sure it is shippy in a direction I do not want to read, so I do not go looking for it.

TURN - 2014-2017

Ben Tallmadge (Seth Numrich) is the guy to watch on TURN: he's a lieutenant, he's tall, he struggles with rules, but the entire fandom is also crazy about him and the leading queen bee in the OC end of that fandom is a real pain about it, so I decide I will not be writing for him no matter what it costs me to hold off admitting I want to. However, in the next episode we meet his best friend, Caleb Brewster (Daniel Henshall) who is short, bearded, dark-haired and chaotic. The moment he comes onscreen I love him. Sadly, no one is reading fic for him and this project is abandoned.

In Season 3, we meet the Marquis de Lafayette. Historical Lafayette is a tall, awkward redhead in need of a father figure who makes up for war experience with boundless enthusiasm. His letters home are adorable. Show Lafayette (Ben Wiles) is tall and enthusiastic. I love him anyway and I make it everyone's problem for, like, a year.

2016-2017 - Mercy Street

Henry Hopkins (Luke Macfarlane) is a military chaplain in a hotel-turned Union hospital in Alexandria, Virginia. He's tall, he's a little tortured, and he has a knack for putting others first. Wrestling with some past choices, his romance with Emma Green, the privileged daughter of the family who owned the hotel, is sweet and full of pining. I write so much fix-it fic for them it's not even funny. (I love this show because the female characters I love come pre-installed. Please watch this.)

2016 - Dunkirk

I see this movie three times in theaters and love it more each time. Collins (Jack Lowden) is a blonde RAF flyboy with a very adorable face. (Tom Glynn Carney is also a face I like but he's on a backburner for a bit.) I write a lot of fic about it and affectionately refer to this as my first Planes Go Zoom phase.

2020

Two weeks into the pandemic I decide rewatching Band of Brothers is a good idea and buy the book and the DVD set from my local secondhand bookshop like I am doing a drug deal in a parking lot. Two weeks after that I am writing a fanfic for Dick Winters (Damian Lewis) because I am a loon who likes men in charge and painfully slow burns.

2021

Still in the middle of a pandemic I decide to watch The Pacific, because I make good decisions, apparently. Hoosier Smith (Jacob Pitts) is a taciturn, wise-cracking friend of Leckie's who is joked about as being the pretty one. He is. Andrew Haldane (Scott Gibson) is quiet, unassuming, and in charge, and played college football for Bowdoin. Very dad energy. Extremely charming. Dead in three episodes as history intended. Fix-it fic incoming.

2022 Top Gun Maverick comes out. Jake "Hangman" Seresin (played by Glen Powell, who I loved in Hidden Figures and The Guernsey Literary Potato Peel Pie Society) has a jawline you could cut something with and an attitude. My friends think I am mental. Second Planes Go Zoom phase coupled with Devotion, which comes out shortly after.

SAS Rogue Heroes comes out. I have been really looking forward to seeing Tom Glynn Carney in something else and he delivers. Mike Sadler is blond, extremely good at his job, not capable of suffering fools, and far too attractive for the desert.

2024

We do not even make it out of trailer season before I realize I still have a Thing (TM) for Callum Turner's face, which I have known since he was Theseus Scamander in Fantastic Beasts. Watching The Boys in the Boat before this all starts doesn't help - he has regrettably blond hair but thighs for days and shoulders you could hang the universe on. John "Bucky" Egan, is tall, dark-haired, incredibly generous spirited and nominally in charge. I want all of it. The rest of the fandom does too. I try to make peace with that and write anyway. Third Planes Go Zoom phase.

[atopvisenyashill]

🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🇵🇸 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️🇵🇷🐢🏝️ i got tired of complaining constantly on my main blog (@thewingedwolf is me!) about how sansa and rhaenyra did nothing wrong and also i needed a way to organize my theories and stuff. yes i have read all the books. yes i have (unfortunately) seen the whole show. yes i have seen all of hotd as well. so here we go. my stances are this, so you have an idea what to expect:

i am a catelyn, sansa, brienne, elia, lyanna and rhaenyra stan FIRST and a person SECOND

i would die for Gaemon Palehair, Lady Essie, and Sylvenna Sand, those are my canon OCs, and that’s why they’re my header.

maegor rhaena and aerea also could have saved westeros & jaehaerys should have been aborted in the womb.

Sansa and Bran are my favorites! I am a Sansa will be Queen in the North truther and a Bran will be the King in Harrenhal conspiracy theorist, It Is Heavily Foreshadowed In The Text and I stand on that!!

I'm well aware Rhaenyra has plenty of faults, I am saying that the greens (as in, the characters) do not like her because of her gender, and not for stuff she does that’s actually wrong, also, idc that she did all of that i simply think she’s fun.

Helaena really IS the one who did nothing wrong tho.

i am a Dark Daenerys believer. no, i don’t hate her - in fact, i really love her, although i do hate her show counterpart - I just think her arc is heading towards a dark path and being a villain protagonist is the more interesting route for her character.

House Martell will rise or I will piss in old man germ’s cornflakes.

I Will talk about the racism Dorne faces in the text and outside of it and neither your favorite house nor my favorite house is exempt from this. If you have a problem with that, keep it to yourself bc i do not care 🙏🏽

i multiship!! just bc i ship it doesn’t mean i think it’s gonna happen in the series, i just like the dynamic!!

i am in fact the annoying book jonsa truther they warned you about. i will Stay bitter about this. argue with the wall.

with that said, i also like theonsa, throbb, daemyra, laenyra, rhaewin, nedcat, braime, briensa, and a million other ones. faves listed here. several of them are dead dove-esque; what can i say, that's just george's style.

you decide whether it’s romantic or platonic when it’s an incest one, my opinion changes by the hour & im gonna fight grrm for making me think this much about incest.

i don’t like jonerys!!!!!! i'm sansan & sanrion ambivalent and i simply do not care about littlefucker like that. i would say i’ve thought positively about basically every other ship.

I JUST FINISHED A REREAD and i Have started a rewatch of the tv series as a form of torture.

i first read this series when i was 16 in like 2012-2013. i love to bitch about the takes i’ve seen. i sometimes reblog really old ass graphics bc they deserve new life even tho the creators are long since deactivated. i sometimes make graphics that look like they’re from 2014 bc we should bring that style back dammit i hate the typography movement going on rn.

big on tagging triggers so lmk (i’ll tag for all characters & major triggers but i’m fine with adding a specific one if asked and don't worry about it being a "weird" trigger - if sean bean's face or knives or wolves or whatever trigger you, i'm happy to tag for that!). my spoiler policy is that i’ll tag everything from this season as “hotd spoilers” and any of the Big Events with “episode title spoilers” but i can’t guarantee I can be consistent longer than like 2 days though i will try!! i Will be talking about any book canon events tho, the books have been out for years either you know how to avoid them or you know everything, i’m not tagging that.

i have a tag page that is more organized than the slapdash nonsense on this post, feel free to check it out here.

i may sound angry but i promise i am genuinely just here for a laugh. i just have resting bitch voice and no feel for tone and use the word fuck too much. it’s fine and unserious.

[bending-sickle]

h'okay so i am rewatching dawn of the planet of the apes (2014) and just have like, this one rant about a detonating interaction:

okay so the humans have trespassed a second time and asked to be allowed to work on the hydroelectric plant, which is no innocent little exercise

Dreyfus: [That] power... is not just about keeping the lights on. It's about giving us the tools to reconnect to the rest of the world. To find out who else is out there so that we can start to rebuild and reclaim the world we lost.

and koba reiterates his "this is a bad fucking idea, Caesar, giving them power will bite us in the ass, we should go to war"

and like, he's not even being paranoid either because:

Dreyfus: I'm gonna take some men up to Fort Point. I'm gonna go through the armory. I'm gonna see what's still working. Three days. You're not back in three days we're going up there, and we're gonna kill every last one of them.

so while caesar is letting the humans do their Human Work (and ooooh, when koba snaps back with his scars as evidence of Human Work), koba is off seeing the arsenal being readied.

which means he both misses seeing:

alvarez carver endanger caesar's newborn

carver smuggle in a gun and threaten apes with it

apes helping pull humans out of the rubble of their own making

ellie saving cornelia's life with medicine

but like. he's just been to the city and seen the humans getting ready to destroy them all, so he's a little distressed when he finds caesar with the humans at the hydro:

Koba: Just came from the city. Humans very dangerous! Where is Caesar? Blue Eyes: With the humans... Foster: Yo, Alex. This relay's busted. See if there's another one. Yeah. Koba: [enters] Caesar. [pushes Alex aside; Alex falls] Alex: Hey! Koba: [snarls at Alex] Malcolm: [getting between the two] No! No, no, no, don't! No! No! No! Maurice: [stands in Koba's way]

[which, idk man, if a super angry ape on a mission shoves me aside i would not utter an annoyed dude wtf "hey!" at him]

Koba: [cont.] Where Caesar? Want Caesar. Caesar! Caesar: [shows himself] Koba: Humans attack your sons. You let them stay! Put apes in danger! Caesar love humans more than apes! More than your sons.

and like okay the last dig must've stung but the first bit? valid as fuck. and what does caesar do? absolutely whales on him. i'm talking ketamine ape levels. doesn't say anything at all, just screams and goes right for it. he beats the shit out of koba and has his hands around koba's throat.

you know, the ape who just a few days ago had said:

Koba: For years I was a prisoner in their lab. They cut me. Tortured me. You freed me. I would do anything you ask.

and he clearly has every intent of killing his right-hand arm man. his silly rabbit ape and friend:

Caesar: [making a visible effort to stop himself] Ape not kill ape.

all for *checks notes* barging in and saying "yo dude wtf"

and then what happens?

Koba: Forgive me.

and it's like...wtf for, my guy? for taking a beating and attempted-murder in front of friend and foe? for going "dude wtf are you doing with the enemy who is literally right this second raiding their arsenal to come kill us all?"

and then caesar's like "oh koba only learned hate from humans, he's all dark and twisted and evil" like my brother on a different evolutionary tree, consider your actions for one second

* why in the fuck was an infant taken on this outing with enemies, far away from its mother or any sort of safety? i don't fucking know. i thought caesar was smart.

[miloscat]

[Review] The Legend of Korra (PS3)

A budget Avatar game done right.

Platinum Games are well known as specialists in "character action" games, flashy brawlers with tight controls. Around this time in the studio's life (2014-2016) they cranked out a few smaller licensed games like Transformers Devastation, a Ninja Turtles game, and this. These are normally seen as lesser compared to their flagship titles but they still have a solid gameplay core, and compared to some other Avatar games I've played recently this one really shines.

I've been rewatching Korra for the first time since its broadcast and absolutely loving it. The ideal for a tie-in game like this is a new story, so I was pleased to see new events in this poorly-titled game taking place between Books 2 and 3... now, the actual gap between seasons of the show is small, but they managed to squeeze a little week-long adventure in there. The settings and array of baddies to beat up are very much rehashed from Books 1 and 2, but a new antagonist with a wacky reveal gives it some spice.

After Korra is ambushed in the streets of Republic City, she finds her bending once again blocked. A creepy old wizard man has nefarious plans for her, and she travels through the new Spirit Wilds districts, to Air Temple Island, to the South Pole, and eventually into the Spirit World to stop him. He can summon dark spirits but has also coerced Equalists, paid off Triads, and acquired mecha tanks to stop her. It's a small, self-contained story but comes with some nice cutscenes animated well in the style of the show by American studio Titmouse.

The voice acting is also authentic with the show's actors returning... although, the budget scope is indicated here again. Jinora shows up in spirit form to give exposition, and there are minor appearances by Tenzin, Mako, Bolin, and Shiro Shinobi the pro bending commentator with a few lines each, but most of the time Korra is just talking to herself. The creative staff on the show also were involved, with the show's writing and art leads contributing the story, writing, and character design.

As for the gameplay, it works very well. Korra has her four bending styles that are unlocked gradually, each one giving you different options: for example, waterbending allows for ranged attacks, earthbending is slow and powerful, fire is fast, and airbending comes last and has totally OP area effect attacks. Each style has its own experience bar that unlocks new moves, and you can customise further with some powerful modifiers bought from Iroh's shop (get the health regen comb asap!). Aside from the four fighting styles, guard countering is very important, as well as knowing when to dodge and the occasional mini-QTE against bender characters. Another central mechanic is chi charging, where you can hold an attack button to charge up and fill your chi bar, which then powers up all your attacks before it drains. It's a little risk-reward thing but managing your bar becomes essential and makes for an interesting balance during combat sequences.

Between all the knocking heads, there's some light exploration and platforming. The structure of levels reminded me of Platinum's recent World of Demons: pretty straightforward with some short side paths for goodies, only more developed and three-dimensional. There's occasional pro bending segments, that use a stripped-down control scheme, as well as a side mode where you play out a series of bouts. There's also Naga sequences presented as three-lane 3D autorunners, which are a decent change of pace (although I did spend a torturous hour or two doing the triple-mecha tank Naga-back boss fight in Extreme mode). They're a million times better than the animal-riding bits in Quest for Balance, at least.

Although Platinum are known for their demanding action games, there are plenty of concessions here that make Korra accessible, from difficulty select to the shop's talismans that can give you a leg up. You still get ranked on each battle but I didn't have much trouble doing well, especially after unlocking the better combos and items. Most of the time I didn't find it harsh unless I'd chosen the specific tradeoffs that made it rougher, and dying is only penalised by starting the current fight over again.

This is pretty much one of the best Avatar games out there; a strong gameplay foundation, authenticity in presentation, a little sprinkling of fanservice here and there, doesn't overstay its welcome... too bad it was delisted a mere three years after release! It was on PC as well as both the PS3 and PS4 generation consoles, although I didn't have a PS4 in 2014 when I bought it so I dusted off my PS3 for this. It performed very well despite being "last-gen" at the time, and barely feels dated technologically even now. There must be a way to pirate it, hopefully, and I recommend it for Korra fans. Otherwise, there's a 37-minute video that stitches the cutscenes together with short bridging gameplay snippets that I'd recommend. Either way, don't miss it!

[morethanonepage]

You posted something that prompted me to rewatch 2014 constantine and the thought I had during the 'alright, daddy' scene this time was "hi, this is my ship. Here's the bisexual tortured disaster I project onto. Here's the tall, competent sweetheart who takes care of him. Don't read into this." I'm pretty sure I was channeling you.

what is a legacy.....

(idk if everyone who now follows me for constantine/chastantine content REALIZES how out of left field 'all right, daddy' was for us watching it in real time. like i didn't literally scream but. i wanted to. like we already knew they were living together and that chas did the cooking and it was all domestic but we NEVER imagined--)

[woodchoc-magnum]

just curious, what about criminal minds upset you so much? i know what almost got me to stop watching at one point.

lol it's kind of a long, boring story

So I got into it really early on; started watching from when Season 1 was airing on TV, joined the LiveJournal fandom probably... during season 2/3, started writing fanfic, shipped Hotch/Prentiss. I was a moderator on the Hotch LJ page for a long time and had a group of friends on LJ, we all loved Hotch the most and I think we all shipped Hotch/Prentiss.

CM was a weird show because the start and ends of the episode would have the character development stuff, but the middle was all about the cases - from memory (I haven't seen an episode since... 2014/15 probably) in the earlier seasons, it was pretty light on character development. You vaguely knew what was going on with the characters outside of work but it wasn't like 911 where there was a balance between work stuff/non-work stuff.

ANYWAY the reason I mention that is because at the time any H/P crumbs were literally crumbs, and I don't think I ever believed that they would go canon (and they didn't).

SO. I was super into the show in seasons 3, 4 and 5, very active in the fandom on LJ, writing fanfic etc. I sort of pinpoint a change in the show at the 100th episode - they built up to it, it was this HUGE thing (I even took a sick day from work so I could stay home, download and watch it) and then... idk. For me, after that, the show wasn't the same but I can't really explain why.

Then in Season 6, they decided to fuck with the formula. They fired Paget Brewster and AJ Cook; they "killed off" Prentiss and sent JJ away and brought in a new blonde FBI agent who was supposed to take their place (this was also around the time they made the first spin-off).

So for me, someone whose favourite characters were Hotch and Prentiss, that was a huge slap in the face. It also felt like the show was very anti-women in general and that the female characters on the show were just interchangeable. There was a huge backlash against it on LJ at the time and it honestly really soured the entire show for me from that point.

I sort of dipped out of the fandom but I kept watching, through the Jeanne Tripplehorn season and the Jennifer Love Hewitt season, but what was really pissing me off at the time was just... the constant, never-ending episodes about women being raped, tortured and murdered. It just felt like it was every single episode, and I was already burnt out on the show but sort of watching it out of obligation, because I still loved Hotch.

And then Thomas Gibson turned out to be a total fucking dick IRL, he got caught out cheating on his wife with a fan and made this super cringey hot tub video that was fucking gross, and then he punched the producer on set or something and got fired (I can't remember in what order that happened though). As soon as that happened, I went, oh, I'm free. I don't have to watch this shit anymore. I think that was right at the end of Season 9, and so I just stopped watching instantly and never went back to it.

And they literally brought Prentiss back to replace him. It was just like, fucking salt in the wound. The whole thing still makes me angry - not TG getting fired, but just the way the show treated the female characters from Season 6 onwards. It was so fucking shitty and there was no good reason to fire either of them - they ended up bringing AJ Cook back super quickly because they knew they fucked up.

Anyway, 911 is the only "procedural" style show I still watch and I don't consider it a procedural in the traditional sense (there's more emphasis on the personal lives than the work stuff, which I like). I will not watch any other police/fire/medical procedural shows, I'm just not interested. CM really burned my bridges on those.

I still think the earlier seasons of CM were probably pretty good and I have considered rewatching Seasons 1 to 4, or even to the 100th episode again, but... I see clips of it now occasionally and I'm still cringing? So I'm probably not there yet. And I've seen clips of the new season that literally make my skin crawl with how stilted the acting is and how cheap the whole thing seems to be, and I feel like I made the right choice in staying away from it.

(I also absolutely grew to hate MGG/Reid as the show progressed, so yeah.)

In conclusion, I hate it and have no good feelings left towards it. Paget Brewster has always deserved better than CM.

[takato1993]

Everything I watched this December rated

just going to do some quick rating of everything i watched this December with minimal to no commentary but If anyone wants more commentary feel free to message me about any movie on this list.

( 5 /10 is still average and still fine, 6/10 is above average, 4/10 is below average)

-The Univited 5/10

Jason Goes to Hell The Final Friday 5/10.

In defense of this one I think it would have worked better as a stand alone original movie

Title feels misleading tho now there no room for like a fiery Jason coming straight out of a hell portal embodying and fighting off demons or something like that.

Doctor Mordrid 7/10

Plank Face 5/10

CW torture, castration

The Muppet Christmas Carol 8/10

Predators 8/10

I didn't know there was a 2010 predators movie but It might be my favorite out of the series so far

What The Peeper Saw 3/10

WitchTrap 4/10

Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things 5/10

not what I thought it would be and also vaguely familiar I think this may have been my first exposure to the concept of zombies as a kid.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter 6/10

Odd Thomas 6/10

Curse of Crom: The Legend of Halloween 5/10

Curtains 4/10

Neon Maniacs 5/10

Hell Comes to Frog Town 6/10

The Company of Wolves 8/10

Demon Wind 5/10

Lifeforce 6/10

Orphan 9/10

Warm Bodies 7/10

The Dark Crystal Age of Resistance 7/10

Spiderman No Way Home 5/10

I have come to realize that i actually do like the early 2000s Spiderman movies and the flaws in this one really helped me gain this perspective back.

Crash and Burn 6/10

ideal killer robot movie possibly

The Cleanse 6/10

Dark Night of the Scarecrow 8/10

the only scarecrow themed horror movie for me.

Bloody Birthday 6/10

The Visitor (1979) 4/10

National Lampoons Vacation REWATCH 4/10

.... you know what this movie is bad actually

Evil Ed 4/10

Goodnight Mommy (2014) 5/10

CW- torture, dark themes, downer ending

Eaten Alive 3/10

Just Looking 5/10

Dave Made a Maze 6/10

this one was very fun give it a shot

Shivers 4/10

Body melt 5/10

Girls Just Wanna Have Blood 5/10

Ice Cream Man 4/10

The Love Witch (2016) 5/10

Godzilla Vs Kong (2021) 7/10

not gonna lie cried a little at the ending.

[olivieraa]

I have such a weird relationship with anime.

There's a lot I wont tolerate with anime, especially its treatment of female characters (young girls and women), and so I've been extremely picky about what I watch for just about 10 years now.

2014 was the first time I properly buckled down and watched a good chunk of big animes (HxH, FMAB, Haikyuu, Soul Eater). And then 2015 was when I mixed up old animes with animes that were airing at the time. So I had between 1-3 anime eps a day.

Most of it was... soul-crushing. And I was absolutely exhausted. And I didn't know when I'd stop. When it would end.

It was painful.

Anime treated female characters so badly. The fans were disgusting. I was in arguments non-stop. I was screenshotting and posting scenes that were heinous and I could just feel myself losing this battle of trying to see if there was anything good, anything salvageable about this medium.

When I think back to how I started with anime, which was Inuyasha, straight after Inuyasha I was introduced to... harem. I don't know how, but harem was the first anime theme I stumbled into. I watched DNA2, Rosario + Vampire, Hand Maid May, etc. Eventually my first reverse-harem, Fruits Basket. This went on for a little bit before I found Death Note.

But by then, I was so used to half-naked female characters bending over or falling over and landing in provocative positions, I thought it was normal. Death Note never did that, but just bc it didn't sexualise its female characters, doesn't mean it treated them great either.

It took years before I realised that this wasn't normal. And then if women weren't sexualised, they were beaten. Or both. At the same time. And it was laughed at. Or memed. And I was the only one calling it out. Nobody gave a shit.

This is why I felt so drained. And alone.

I found animes that made me happy. When I look at them in a list all together, there's more than I thought. But to find them originally, was like "suffer through about 40 of the bad ones, find a good one, suffer through another 25, find a good one" over and over again.

I kept getting asks like "why are you putting yourself through this?" and honestly, I didn't know. I still dont know. In fact, I'm still doing something similar somewhere else. Like, I'm building up evidence. And its hard to stop.

And the thing is... I didn't go into these animes with the intention of getting into fights. I was always hopeful, everytime a new lineup of anime was announced, that they'd subvert my expectations. Osomatsu was actually the biggest shock for me. I thought it was going to be teen-boy humour to the max, be the Japanaese South Park. Couldn't have been more wrong about that, and its one of my top faves now.

Finding animes like that, that put me in a happy place, was my main intention. Always hoping animes that were the opposite would start to die out.

Coming back to anime, well, I'm just rewatching rn. Only one's I liked. I dont know where I'm going from there, but for now, I'm just staying in this happy place. Going from Osomatsu to Maou-sama, with a few other good one's in between like 91 Days and Acca - Its been peaceful. I found those animes during times of watching mostly bad ones and these being the little gems in between. So when you watch nothing but the gems, its... blissful. I'm having fun. I'm not ready to torture myself yet.

[catgirlsupremacist]

Stumbled recently and due to nostalgia and missing an old freind rewatched the winter soldier and am becoming the defitnion of, 'some of our best minds were lost to the 'winter soldier (2014)'. Somehow found a fanfic in which captain america is a communist of the mlm variety and bucky is meant to be anarchist wanting to blow things up. I enjoy torturing myself , as seen by the fast and furious franchise watching, so let's see how messy this is and please at least have a good sex scene

[fuckyeahfightlock]

Scary movie update!

Rewatched Host (2020), one of those Great Quar/Takes Place on Zoom movies. Had forgotten a lot of its plot points so I could enjoy it all over again. It's short and scary and I still recommend it.

In anticipation of The Fall of the House of Usher arriving on Netflix tomorrow, I checked out a movie by Mike Flanagan I otherwise would not have watched (a) because it's a sequel to a movie I haven't seen and (2) because it looks like a PG-13 supernatural movie for babies. BUT! Because Mike Flanagan made this PG-13 prequel to Ouija (2014), Ouija: Origin of Evil (2016) is actually really good! A widow and her teen/preteen daughters make money by staging seances, which although faked, are also ethical? The younger daughter, still at an age where the real and the imaginary often blur together, and who misses her late father, uses a Ouija board in an attempt to contact him, opening a doorway which a no-good spirit steps through.

Some truly horrific imagery here, and Henry Thomas plays the priest/principal of the girls' school, and Kate Siegal has a cameo in the opening scene. Worth a watch, especially if you're looking for a PG-13 horror movie or are a Flanagan fan Fanagan.

Possessed by Horror comes through with the great recs again!

Well, but OTOH, Possessed by Horror also rec'd Eden Lake (2008), but it's not her fault it's just not for me. Michael Fassbender and yet another blonde English actress with short bangs and beauty marks play a young couple who mess with the wrong gang of 12- to 14-year-olds and find themselves in a whole heap of trouble. The opening scene was so similar to that of Vivarium I felt like I had deja vu. And while I agree that there are few things scarier than young teens with bad attitudes, this movie is one of a cycle in the Aughties of "hoodie horror" movies that highlighted/justified middle class fears of working class people in what was then being called (by middle class people) "broken England." And while we don't have the same class issues in the US that exist in the UK, I did feel kind of icky about the whole premise. And once the gory torture started up, I'd about had enough and turned it off. But maybe watching Fassy get tortured is yr thing, I'm not judging, then you might like this one.

I wondered if it was a remake of Them (2006), because several sequences seemed very familiar, but AFAICT, the similarities are coincidental. And I really liked Them, as it is my kind of isolation/home invasion horror. I did not liked Eden Lake as much.

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

This would be such a long list! But I gathered a few favs and some possibly lesser known films to recommend:

Fade to Black (1980) - watched this about a year ago and I adore this movie. Its sorta a slasher, but not quite. Like a mix between slasher and psychological I think

Boys in the Trees (2016) - I will recommend this movie every single time, it changed me I think. Its not a fun movie and is more serious, but it is so good and so underrated

Lake Mungo - another more serious one and it's not quite a traditional type horror film, but it really is such an experience

Haunt (2019) - this one's set on Halloween and is honestly a more recent fav. It does the whole "horror attraction is actually all real" thing and personally I think it executes it the best. I do wish there were more horror movies that did that concept well

Memento Mori (1999) - this is a Korean film and its not like super horror-y but it has lesbians and something about it just kinda hit. It doesn't have a happy ending, but I think it's worth a watch overall

The Black Phone - another more recent one that I think is overall executed so so well

The Descent (2005) - if you haven't seen this one, you absolutely need to! Also one of my favs and its just so well done

1408 - paranormal movie that I actually need to rewatch myself, but I loved it when I first watched it

Killer Klowns from Outer Space - the most ridiculous and fun movie ever. Has cartoony gore and kills, but also incredible effects. One of my fav movies of all time!

Kristy (2014) - more modern day slasher. I think overall its really good and really tense a lot of times. My one criticism of this movie is that there are a lot of scenes that are just way too dark. Like you can't really tell what's going on at times. It doesn't ruin the movie completely imo, but it is a bit frustrating

The Loved Ones - I'm kind of obsessed with this movie honestly. Don't watch this if you don't like/can't handle gore and torture stuff. If you can, this is so good. The side story is a bit weaker imo, but the actual horror stuff is horrifying. I love this movie!

The Stepfather (1987) - this one's sometimes called a slasher movie, but imo that doesn't quite fit. I haven't seen the remake or any other movie in this franchise, but I was really surprised by just how good this first one is. Highly recommend!

Totally Killer (2023) - very recent slasher movie and so so much fun!!!!

Frankenhooker (1990) - I watched this one very recently and it absolutely slayed my world. The last like 20 minutes of this are so ridiculous and fun. I mean, the entire movie is ridiculous and fun, but especially so at the end!

Creepshow (1982) - I've only seen this first one in the Creepshow franchise, but this movie is so incredible! It's probably my fav horror anthology, it's got so many iconic horror people working on it and the result is amazing

Misery - based off a Stephen King novel. I haven't read the book myself (yet) but the movie is great! The performances especially are unforgettable

Autopsy of Jane Doe - another one I've been meaning to rewatch. I was so into it the first time I watched this. It all mostly takes place in one location and is executed incredibly

Ginger Snaps - more like Ginger Slays. Another one I need to rewatch, but I think it changed something in me when I first watched it

Motel Hell - it's a comedy horror, but weirdly horrifying for a comedy horror. Kinda texas chainsaw massacre vibes on this one

and since I've just mentioned it, I gotta recommend Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974) if you haven't seen it. It's my favourite movie of all time and I think it's the best horror film ever made. The 2003 remake is also pretty good, but not quite on the same level as the original. The 2022 one however is terrible

The Lodge (2019) - psychological horror that personally I thought was really good

Dead End (2003) - this one takes place on Christmas eve so technically could wait until Christmas time to watch it. Anyway, something about this movie really got to me and I need to recommend it every time

Night of the Creeps (1986) - another one thats just loads of fun to watch. And I love watching the special effects of older movies because they're more likely to be practical effects! They still hold up pretty well overall so I love this movie and movies like this

Fresh (2022) - horrifying. Highly recommend

The Blob (1988) - again, practical effects my beloved!!!! This movie slayed so hard

The Children (2008) - if you don't mind horror with kids in it, well this one is really good and kinda horrifying as well

Re-animator (1985) - another one of my favourites and also great practical effects! Also Herbert West is a freak (affectionate)

Spree (2020) - I kinda genuinely love horror that tries to use the internet/modern day tech for its horror. Unfortunately most movies don't quite succeed but Spree is an exception, and is a very fun and good movie!!!!

The Hitcher (1986) - the atmosphere in this movie alone makes it an incredible watch imo, but also its quite homoerotic and horrifying at times. Another movie I'm kinda obsessed with

In the Mouth of Madness (1994) - this is a John Carpenter film and I highly recommend this one too. I see this one talked about less than some of his other films, but personally I think this is one of my favourites of his!

I feel like this list is getting too long so I'm gonna cut it here because I could go on for way too long. I tried recommending ones that aren't talked about as much (so stuff like Scream, Saw, etc I didn't mention). There are still some well known ones, but either way I hope you find something here that you watch and like!

Its October now which means it's Halloween and horror season and like if anyone would like any horror movie recommendations, I know this really cool, horror obsessed lesbian who really enjoys giving people horror recs

[chibimyumi]

Metamorphosis - Uehara Grell

【Related post: What is your opinion on Uehara’s Grell?】

Dear everyone,

In the post linked above I said that I’d bend over making a comparative analysis of Uehara’s portrayal of Grell if demand was high, and quite some people have consequently showed their interest. I thank you for your warm enthusiasm. So let us look at how Uehara Takuya changed his portrayal of Grell from flamboyant gay man to troubled transgender woman.

A note before we start however: when I use male pronouns in relation to Grell, it is only, solely, exclusively to refer to Uehara Takuya - the male actor.

This post shall be divided into the following headers:

Character Introduction

Femininity

Sexuality

Motivation

Conclusion

Afterword

1. Character Introduction

The first impression is the most lasting impression, and that is all the more true for fictive characters. The way in which a character is introduced has the power to dictate how a reader is going to interpret any and all information given later on about said character. Grell was first introduced as the demure butler to Madam Red. This was revealed to be a false front however, so the audience is expected to scratch any first impressions they have of the character for the sake of the new.

A reintroduction of a character carries much more weight than a standard introduction, because a deliberate reintroduction usually comes with consequences that affect the plot directly. “You ask us to discard our prior knowledge, but what is so important we need to make space for then? NOW the truth comes.”

Now, what is the impression that we are given of Grell in the two versions of the musical respectively?

【2014】

In the first run of ‘the Lycoris that Blazes the Earth 2014′ when Grell judged she could no longer hide behind her guise, she drops the act altogether. She sheds the demure and nervous posture to reveal a flamboyant T-pose paired with a shrill voice.

Grell turns around with her face partially covered and approaches while dramatically shaking her hips. Hereby Uehara effectively draws the attention to Grell’s flamboyant walk rather than her face revelation, giving the audience a first impression of an over-the-top performance iconic for queer-coded men.

How is this over-the-top performance framed? As a threat.

We see Matsushita!Sebas (whose perspective we follow) shielding the boy as he backs away into a safe distance, despite the fact that Grell has not yet revealed herself to be a potential danger to the demon. Sebastian’s alertness here points to his discomfort in the face of Grell’s queerness. The threat of Grell’s true form is further emphasised by the red lighting from beneath; a convention in theatre to signify hellish danger.

【2015】

Contrast this to the rerun in 2015, wherein Grell simply turns around immediately revealing her face. The attention here is drawn to the contrast between Grell’s previous anxious expression (the guise), and her current confident expression (true face). The introduction pose she strikes wherein she leans against the wall also communicates that Grell has a type of casual confidence.

It is likewise in this confident posture that Grell comes forward to meet the audience for real this time. It isn’t before she is fully in the spotlights that Grell strikes the bolder pose. This signifies that Grell is indeed the actress like she proclaimed herself to be.

The lighting is a cool blue from above, a display that is the polar opposite to the 2014 version. In line with this stark opposition to the first run, we also see Sebastyun (whose perspective we follow) approach Grell instead of backing away. Sebastian’s arms are relaxed, communicating neutrality.

Sebastyun’s reaction to Grell’s revelation is impassive as she has not given him any information to form an opinion yet. Accordingly, Sebastian reserves any judgement for later, and instead closes the distance with Grell to assess this person who finally revealed her true colours.

2. Femininity

The portrayal of Grell’s femininity is in stark difference between the first run and the rerun of this musical.

【2014】

In the first run, Grell’s femininity is without exception portrayed as the butt of the joke. When Grell was formally being reintroduced, Uehara stands in the spotlight and is preoccupied with comically brushing the hair, making high and shrill sounds while making very clumsy attempts at performing ‘femininity’. For this post’s sake, I shall call this display ‘comical femininity’. The way Uehara brushed the hair almost looks like a monkey picking lice from its fur.

The timing wherein Grell performs comical femininity also always happens during moments of importance. In this example, it was when Sebastian was ‘expositionining’ to the audience what reapers are, and openly questions Grell’s legitimacy as a reaper known for their hard work. “Well, is Grell a legit reaper?” the audience wonders. The implied answer is clear: “this lice-picking monkey with a shrill, effeminate voice? No.” This too is part of the impression-establishing reintroduction of Grell’s character - Grell’s character as the ‘gay monkey’.

Later when Sebastian imagined a ��skeletal old guy holding a scythe’ as a reaper Grell protests against this stereotype by blowing a raspberry. It is possible to take this protest serious, but this much cannot be said for Grell as a person whose bold reactions have already been degraded to comic relief material.

Yet another example of Grell’s ill-timed comical femininity is when Sebastian has found a way to neutralise Grell’s best card against a demon- the Death Scythe. When Grell is desperately trying to save her chainsaw, she frantically wipes her hair out of her face as she shrieks and yells unintelligible words.

As is apparent, Grell’s femininity in 2014 is not a character trait, but a cheap tool employed to delegitimise Grell’s female identity, used for comic relief to lighten any threat, and undermine Grell’s status as potent reaper.

In this scene we are not supposed to laugh at Grell’s weapon being stuck by a tailcoat; we are supposed to laugh at Grell failing so hard at femininity. In practice, in the 2014 version, the hyper-masculine Matsushita!Sebas serves as foil against Grell’s “lack of proper masculinity (because she is ‘supposed’ to be a man)”, whereas Madam Red’s successful femininity is the foil of Grell’s failed femininity. Y------------ikes.

【2015】

Now let us look at the revised portrayal of the same scenes with the same script in 2015. In 2015 when Sebastian is giving the exposition he stands in the full spotlights, while Grell stands in dimmed spotlights. In the shadows Grell is adjusting her glasses and lip-gloss, but the monkeyness is largely replaced by just extravaganza. By casting the full spotlights on Sebastian instead of Grell, the audience’s attention is drawn to the exposition, thereby shifting weight to what a reaper is supposed to be according to Sebastian (who has - mind you - never met a reaper on Earth before.)

Now instead of questioning whether Grell is a legit reaper, the question shifts to: “is Sebastian’s account legit?”

Script-wise, Grell’s protest against Sebastian’s stereotyping is the same, and yet the performance is quite different. Instead of blowing a raspberry, Uehara tones it down and gives a melodic ‘bububu’ in simulation of a buzzing sound at a quiz. Right after this comic display however, Uehara resumes a straight posture.

In short, while in 2014 all of Grell is the humour, in 2015 this slight change turns Grell into someone who has a sense of humour.

Unlike in 2014, in the rerun of the musical, Grell’s femininity is a constant expression, and therefore not a performance. When she was attempting to pull the tailcoat from the chainsaw she was just busy yanking at the fabric. She had her priorities straight and knew that she could not afford to waste time on her hair.

Instead, the only moment wherein Grell fixes her hair is after Sebastian mercilessly punched her in the face. In this revised version, it is more clear that Grell is untangling her hair from the glasses before readjusting said glasses back onto her face.

Not only is the necessity of Grell fixing her face something that we can get behind, but the way Uehara performs this also shows a much clearer elegance and natural femininity than in 2014.

This constancy of Grell’s femininity in contrast to the sporadic ‘outbursts of femininity’ in 2014 is ultimately what distinguishes the 2015 ‘transgender woman with flair’ from the 2014 ‘effeminate gay man’.

3. Sexuality

Grell’s sexuality is probably the most problematic portrayal in the first run of the musical. Not only is it portrayed as ‘perverse’, but it simultaneously functions as a delegitimisation, as well as the amplifier of Grell’s threat as villain. What better way to deal with fear than to laugh it off, right?

【2014】

When Grell first reveals herself to be the wielder of a dangerous Death Scythe she expresses how she really wants to engage in ‘intense exercise’ with Sebastian. When she says this phrase, Uehara explicitly swings his behind towards Sebastian. This sexual provocation is unsolicited and so aggressive that Sebastian censors it from his master.

Here, Grell’s sexuality is portrayed as this irrational emotional this ‘gay man’ cannot control, as is the stereotype that haunts homosexual persons.

Similarly when Grell and Sebas are engaged in brawl, Grell aggressively cocks her head in Sebastian’s direction threatening to rape-kiss him, singing “Oh, Sebby-darling, Sebby-darling”. Sebas is in clear distress; the chances of him getting away grow increasingly slimmer. The music is intense and the lighting frantic, inducing clear discomfort for the viewer. This discomfort is designed to be seamlessly linked to Sebastian’s discomfort at Grell’s provocative sexuality.

By weaving Grell’s deadly attacks using the Death Scythe with her sexual advances, Grell’s sexuality is being equated to deadly aggression.

Similarly when Sebastian’s Cinematic Record starts, we see Grell literally drooling with sexual arousal, while Sebastian is powerless to save himself from being the object of the reaper’s sexual aggression. This again is in accordance with the stereotype of queer people’s romantic/sexual desires being a threat to “““normal people”””. Classic queerphobia in a compact package!

Later when Grell is on the brink of being murdered and desperately trying to get away, Uehara turns Grell’s literal butt into the figurative butt of the joke, again. As she is desperately trying to get away from the demon, she purposely stops to shake her behind at Sebastian, saying: “I want you to come, but don’t come”. Just like before when Grell was fixing her hair like a monkey, here too this ‘gay’ cannot get the priorities straight.

After having established Grell as a real threat to the protagonists we are supposed to follow, we then get this scene wherein we are not supposed to take her seriously. This time round however, the stakes are even higher, because this is after Madam Red has been murdered.

Madam Red and Grell are both Jack the Ripper, but Madam Red died of betrayal after a very emotional song that begs us to sympathise with her. We are supposed to take Madam Red seriously, and understand that Madam is both the culprit as well as a victim to misfortune. Grell however, is not supposed to be taken seriously, and she is simply seen as a manic murderer.

【2015】

The portrayal of Grell’s sexuality is dramatically improved in the rerun. In the same scene wherein Grell says the line that she wants to engage in “intense exercise”, instead of shoving her behind in Sebastian’s direction, she makes the gesture with her lips and shoulders. This is still unwanted sexual advancement, but it’s already more acceptable.

The effect is quite different and it is reflected in Sebastian’s reaction too; he simply ignores Grell’s advances and does not invite the audience to be grossed out, unlike Sebas did in 2014.

The frantic “Oh, Sebby-darling, Sebby-darling” moment in 2014 is changed into a softer and much calmer reinterpretation in 2015. Instead of the chaotic electric guitars and drums, the 2015 version plays it in a soft tune of the piano. The attempt at rape-kissing Sebastian is entirely removed, and Uehara does not make a single sexual advance physically.

I cannot show you what’s not there, so you’ll just have to see it for yourself. But trust me. Unlike in 2014, Uehara refrains from using Grell’s sexuality as a weapon against Sebas.

In line with this less-sexually aggressive Grell, in the scenes wherein Grell successfully cuts Sebastian, she also no longer drools. Instead of drawing attention to Grell being a perverted voyeur, Uehara now uses this scene to demonstrate to the audience what a reaper like Grell is capable of: playing a cinematic record.

When Grell was trying to get away from Sebastian who has now secured the Death Scythe, the line of “I want you to come, but don’t come” is removed, and Grell simply tries to get away. Unlike in 2014, this Grell DOES have her priorities straight, and we also understand her legit fear for the demon.

4. Motivation

The most meaningful change in Uehara’s portrayal in 2015 is Grell’s motivation in my opinion. While in 2014 Grell was portrayed as the psychopathic murderer who kills for the sake of killing, in 2015 we get a much better understanding of Grell’s motivations.

【2014】

In the original staging of this musical when Madam Red shows hesitation to kill her own nephew, Grell is infuriated and berates Madam for her weakness. “If you don’t kill him, you will be killed!” Grell doesn’t even give Madam proper time to respond and already scythes her down in seeming cold-blood.

At first I thought to understand the spoken line as: “if you don’t kill Ciel, you will be killed by him.” But the way Uehara said it in his low voice, it basically sounded like: “then you will be killed by me,” which...she did.

“You disappoint me!” Grell challenges in pure anger and explains how she has even broken the reaper law for Madam to “kindly” help her create alibis and killing the victims.

The way Uehara sums up the trouble Grell’s gone through for Madam’s sake is like summing up a list of chores she did in hope to get entertainment in return. The fault Grell accuses Madam of is not paying her back with something that weighs up against the effort she put into helping Madam.

“You are unworthy of wearing red,” Grell says as she rips Madam’s coat from her body. What is striking here is the perverse grimace on Grell’s face. This is vindictiveness!

The Cinematic Record of Madam is very emotional and I bet it has made quite many people shed some tears. We now learn of the misery Madam has gone through and how she was trying to find an outlet for her crippling pain (albeit in a very problematic manner, but that’s a different can of worms which I will not open here). But the point is, we sympathise with Madam and we understand that her pain is legit.

What does Grell do though? She yawns. She f*cking yawns using her ‘comical femininity’. This confirms that the motivation behind Grell helping Madam was because she was bored and craved entertainment; not because she feels a connection with Madam in not being able to bear children. In the 2014 version, Grell’s pain of not having a uterus and suffering from dysphoria (which was likely the reason she killed herself in the first place) is entirely skimped over.

Before Grell commits the murder we see her circling Madam and looking at her with total apathy in her eyes. She simply walks up to her as though nothing is up and seemingly “suddenly” decided to stab the woman. Grell cocks her head to the side with the corners of her lips tucked up, suggesting an air of casualness in doing so.

What is made of Grell’s motivation to be Jack the Ripper and killing her soul mate? Nothing; she is rendered just a manic murderer with too much power and too little entertainment.

【2015】

In the reinterpreted version of 2015 Grell also warns Madam that if she doesn’t kill Ciel then she will be killed. The tone in which Uehara says the line however carries way more emotion and weight. When Grell judged that Madam would not come around to her side, she felt betrayed and hurt.

In a moment of rage Grell let her heart be hardened and stabbed Madam. It is but a split second of a moment, but here Uehara communicated very clearly that this was Grell’s personal pain, not cold malice.

Grell approaches Madam and sums up the trouble she’s gone through for her. Unlike Uehara’s cold up-summing in 2014, he now simply names a few things Grell has done for Madam, as though letting all the emotions flow freely.

Here Grell quivers with pain and anger and we see how she very clearly is trying to restrain herself from bursting into a bigger rage or tears.

Grell holds Madam’s dying body and presses her closely against herself. She shakes her head in defeat and her entire face screams her pain at Madam’s betrayal. “WE were in this together, you said we would be,” is the silent message here. As Grell rips Madam’s coat off here, the callous grimace from 2014 is nowhere to be seen, and is instead replaced by Grell squeezing her eyes shut as though this all is too much to bear.

In the Cinematic Record of Madam when her resolve is wavering, we also see Grell reacting to this with disapproval. But unlike in 2014 wherein Grell showed boredom, Uehara here chose to show disbelief and turns away until what Madam says is no longer bearable for Grell.

When the murder of Madam is replayed, Grell looks Madam in the eyes, making this murder far more personal than in the 2014 version.

This change in portrayal has effectively transformed the manic murderer into a pained woman who was betrayed by not just the world, but also her kin; the only person Grell thought would actually understand her and never betray her.

5. Conclusion

In conclusion, after Uehara Takuya realised that Grell is not the Flamboyant Gay™ he was instructed to play following the anime’s popularity, he changed the portrayal of Grell dramatically.

The most problematic aspects of Grell is sadly engraved into her original character design, and there is not much anybody can do about it. She is likewise still the comic relief even in the revamped version of 2015, but in the very least her sexuality, femininity, and by extent her transgender identity are no longer demonised and played for laughs.

In Uehara’s message in the pamphlet of the 2015 musical he wrote the following:

“Now 6 years have passed since the first staging of ‘Kuroshitsuji’ I feel like there is a part of me now that understands the core of Grell. The gap between her cruelty and how she is loved is very charming in my opinion, but personally I think it is the enormous pain that she shoulders which is the most appealing about this character. What I like about her is this eeriness in the emotions she carries...

Now I have reconsidered this [musical] and the directing has now fallen into Mr. Mouri’s hands, now resulting in a new story with new characters. This is the chance wherein I can start from a clean line with all my might.

The comical moments with Sebastian are also new now and we have been trying different things out during rehearsal; that will always be imprinted in my memory. Now that Sebas is played by Furukawa-kun and now that he is the Troupe Lead, I feel I can finally make a new start.

[...] Everyone, I hope that after having seen this new performance, you can all think: “that was fun, I was touched”. I hope you can all enjoy everything thoroughly!”

And indeed as he aspired to, Uehara Takuya managed to portray an entirely different Grell from what he used to from 2009 to 2014. His portrayal of Grell was ‘enjoyable’ in the past, but highly problematic to say the least. After 2015, I would say that he fully redeemed himself and is an excellent example of however bigoted you might be, it is never too late to learn.

6. Afterword

Dear everyone, thank you all again for your warm enthusiasm. This post took a tremendous amount of time to make, so I really hope this was meaningful! Please do share this post if you can. I think Uehara is a very inspiring example of how even with the same script and all, it is the effort and good intention that matter most in respectfully portraying Grell even with all her flaws.

Most importantly, Uehara Takuya’s Grell is now the first and only official portrayal of Grell as a transgender woman in all her rights besides the manga canon, and I think this deserves attention. As shown in this post, Yana herself was brave enough to ask Uehara to help rectify the mistake she could not on her own. Without Uehara’s influence and help, who knows until when we’d have to wait until we’d get an official portrayal that does do Grell’s identity justice?

Thank you Uehara Takuya, I love you, your growth is admirable!

[fuckspn]

okay new rule for this rewatch. every time buckleming force a torture scene/plot point into one of their episodes they have to venmo me $50. i have no way of legally enforcing this but rest assured i’ll make it happen

[villainous-queen]