#Responsible Dog Purchasing

[irreverent-dobermans]

When You Ask Your Local Dog Expert For Help Finding A Breeder

Within the dog community I’m seeing this happen a lot right now, so I thought I’d write a post about it. With regards to asking a local dog expert for help finding a puppy (assuming you’re searching for a good sport or competition prospect or just a responsibly-bred pet). This is a brief idea of some of the things they MIGHT do in an effort to help you achieve your (perceived) goal of a responsibly sourced, well-bred puppy.

There are a ton of layers to each of these general steps I'm going to offer up, and even more pitfalls and red flags that can be stumbled across at each stage. Novices in the Purebred Dog World can certainly find themselves a great, responsibly sourced dog if they keep some of these steps/techniques in mind. BUT the most important thing is to have patience in your search. Most likely your responsible breeder of choice is going to have a wait list, and that's a GOOD thing! If you can turn around in a hot minute and land a dog, take a moment to really investigate that gift puppy. It might come with a price tag beyond a monetary level.

These steps are easier to navigate with a Dog Expert in your pocket or in your corner, but I'm breaking this down to show you that it can be done by a dedicated novice too! It's just going to take time and effort in this search. If you DO ask an expert and then completely disregard their advice in favor of the fast option, that expert probably isn't going to be too happy with you. If you ask me for help and I invest days or weeks in helping you on this path, using my expertise and possibly also my reputation to introduce you to responsible breeders producing stunning dogs, and then you turn around and buy the first puppy you can get near town because it's available RIGHT NOW and for cheap... well, I'm going to be annoyed. And I might not help you next time you ask.

When it comes down to it: If a FAST puppy is the goal, it probably isn't going to be as well-bred or responsibly sourced as one that you might have to research and wait for. (Can you strike it rich with that golden puppy? Absolutely. Is it less likely? Most certainly.)

Notice I am using the vague term of 'dog expert' because you could be asking a breeder friend, a local trainer, possibly someone in charge of boarding, maybe someone affiliated with a local club or vet, or just a known competitor/participant in the dog world. Any of these people could be considered experts, depending on one's personal definition. They can probably connect you to some absolutely AMAZING dogs, if you're willing to spend the time, do a little research, and pay what the breeder is asking for in order to take home a piece of their hard work.

Pretending I'm your local Dog Expert, I'm a known trainer and handler that participates in HELLA dog sports. (There's maybe 3 or 4 I haven't done OR don't regularly compete in.) You likely see me at shows for at least three different Registries, a multitude of sports, usually running or handling a string of dogs; and I’m a member in good standing of eight or so Breed Specific/All Breed/Sport AKC Clubs and so on. I'm also canine transport and can deliver a puppy. So we run into each other at your location of choice and you wind up asking: "Hey Toni! Can you help me find a responsibly bred puppy of [breed]?"

Step 1: Owner Interview/Initial Conversation

I surely can! But first we're likely to have a conversation about what you want. What are you looking for in your new canine companion? Sport or Show expectations? SD or Pet potential? General expectation/goal for activity level and what home looks like? Puppy vs Adult Dog? For an Adult or Jr Handler? Etc. We're establishing your goals and expectations! If you don't have a local expert, you can skip THIS part and move on to step 2, doing the next steps on your own. (I mean, you should get an idea to the answers of these questions for your own search, but that’s just my two cents.) Sure it will take a bit to learn what you need to be looking for, but these are steps that ANYONE can follow to get started in locating a responsibly and well bred puppy (or adult dog) for their needs!

Step 2: Breed Research.

We're going to assume you're looking for something that isn't what I would claim as "my" breed. If it's not something I've got a finger on the pulse of (and even if it is), my first steps are probably to swing by the official Breed Club resources to review standards, health testing expectations, recommended breeders and so on. In this stage I'll probably swing by a couple different responsible registries to see how the standards vary, and if there are different resources on those pages. (If you are doing this yourself, you've jumped past Step 1 and can get into this by asking yourself a few questions/doing some research!) Since I'm In America, we'll start with: Is it an AKC Breed? Yes?:  https://www.akc.org/dog-breeds/ Hmm How About UKC? Yes?: https://www.ukcdogs.com/breeds Your breed doesn't turn up in those OR you want a lower pressure Show Environment? IABCA: https://www.iabca.com/showinfo.html ICKC: http://www.internationalcaninekennelclub.com/ (Already seem like a lot of work? This is only Stage 2!) For the second part of Stage 2 (the Breed Club) I'm going to pick one of my random (rare) breeds, as I'm part of the official Breed Club. Obviously for this part you sub in your breed of choice and search for a [Breed Club] for [Country]. Example Breed: Curly Coated Retriever Breed Club: https://www.ccrca.org/ The Breed Club's Breeder Directory Page with Additional Links: https://www.ccrca.org/breeders.html

Step 3: Health Testing Research.

The Breed Clubs typically have a list of preferred health testing for the breed. Those that meet this testing criteria would be considered more responsible breeders than those that don't perform the health testing. As health testing requirements vary by breed, you can look up the requirements on your breed club page OR on OFA.org, through their breed section. OFA: https://ofa.org/chic-programs/browse-by-breed/ Once you have your list of health tests by breed, you can search OFA by breed to see dogs that have been tested and their results recorded. Keeping an eye out for Kennels with a concentration of testing or full on CHIC certification will give you an idea as to who actually has performed the health tests, and give you an idea of breeders to check into.

Step 4: Checking Into Breeders

Now we get to the actual stage of finding breeders in your breed of choice. Since you've looked at your Breed Club/OFA and presumably found some breeders that meet the health testing requirements for the breed, now you look for those breeders to have a Social Media or Website presence. Hopefully they have information about themselves and their program, their breed, contracts and their process to get a dog or puppy.

Red Flags:

Because the steps above can have any number of red flags, we're going to stop and touch on those for a moment! There are less than reputable Registries (like the Continental Kennel Club or ConKC), non-responsible/non-reputable breeders and more. If someone claims to Health Test but won't give you full registered names for you to double check their health testing, be wary. If they claim to health test and not turn the info into OFA, that's also another flag. Why isn't the information being officially recorded? If they health test on an international level there should be records of the health testing (PennHipp rather than OFA, perhaps) and documentation should be able to be provided. If they don't want to give you health testing info until you've paid a deposit, well, then you have to decide how you comfortable you are with the idea of proceeding. The same for if they don't want to release any information on the parents until you're already on the hook with a deposit or fully paying off the pup. I personally feel that those demanding deposits before any real agreement is reached should be considered a warning sign. Those breeders that charge more/less depending on: gender, breeding rights, colors or patterns, etc may also be a flag depending on nuance. These things are easier to spot if you've been in and out of the sport/competition world but can get an idea of it even as a novice. Just be open to the idea of critical thinking, carefully reading contracts and website details and so on. If this is an AKC/American based club or breed, and the website reads as something poorly translated through Google, maybe be wary.

Step 5: Make Contact!

So you've found out everything you can, found a breeder you're comfortable with, and now? It's time to contact the breeder. Try reaching out with a general idea of what you're looking for, how you found their information, and if you're active in clubs/sports with current dogs to give them some background on you. Don't just email asking "pups, price, etc" in an abrupt fashion. Try to start a dialogue! Ideally, this is someone you're going to at least be a casual aquaintence of for the next 1o or so years! Remember many responsible breeders have a waiting list, be prepared for this!

Note: If your local expert is doing this work for you, they may be using their own reputation in the show/sport world to help with their introduction to the breeder/breeders and trying to locate the perfect show/sport/breeding prospect for you. Try to honor their hard work, references, friendship what-have-you. If circumstances change, be forthright. And remember, if you ask someone to do this for you, and then run out to buy the first local BYB you find because it's cheaper/faster... well, don't be surprised if they don't want to assist you in the future.

Anyway, I hope this post gives you an idea as to what goes into trying to locate a responsibly-sourced, well-bred dog!

[bun-parade]

Someone tell me I do NOT need to buy all 6 of the scented pillow pets I found on Amazon...

[alexiroflife]

"megumi is annoyed with gojo for getting distracted with you and being late for everything because of it, so he makes it his life’s mission to ruin gojo’s chances of dating you..."

fluff, crack

gojo has a severe issue with constantly following you like a puppy dog wherever you go. after that day he had run into you on a whim at the park, your pretty (e/c) eyes locking with his as you both shared passing glances the moment your shoulders brushed, he was stuck to you. gojo stopped dead in his tracks, calling out to you and asking what your name was. you turned over your shoulder, stuttering to a stop upon realizing that handsome guy had been talking to you. you told him your name, that you attended the university down the block, and he was set.

gojo was sure to secure your number before you parted ways that day, approaching you as interested in friendship rather than someone completely enamored by your beauty and desperate to get to know you more. he would text you every day, from then on, pressing further about your hobbies and inserting himself into your daily routine, which you fortunately did not mind. the two of you end up spending a lot of time together, thoroughly enjoying each other’s presence.

megumi, ten years old, witnesses gojo’s clinginess with you fast because it quickly has an affect on how often gojo fulfills his responsibilities in looking after him. megumi remembers the first time gojo forgot about him because he was distracted by you. he had been meant to purchase and drop of megumi’s weekly groceries, but he ran into you at the supermarket and ended up helping you take your groceries home instead. megumi had to wait three hours for gojo to bring him his next week’s supply of food. things like this continued to happen the longer you to knew each other, but megumi knows it isn’t your fault that gojo is attached to you at the hip and flirts with you shamelessly but won’t muster up the courage to tell you he likes you. 

megumi’s last straw is when he is left stranded outside of his elementary school for forty-five minutes because he ran into you “eating at a cafe by yourself and you needed company.” the ten year old watches gojo pull up slowly with you in the passenger’s seat, waving at him apologetically with a kind smile. his blood boils as gojo smiles, shrugging bashfully and saying he lost track of time. megumi decides with a hastiness that he would ruin every chance gojo takes to flirt with you after the twenty one year old suddenly announces that he is driving twenty minutes opposite of his house to drop you off at your dorm. 

gojo first senses something is off when you are over at megumi’s house one day after school, looking for snacks in the cabinets. gojo and megumi are sitting at the kitchen island while megumi does his homework and gojo watches you move around with a soft smile on his lips, chin propped in his palm. you turn over your shoulder and ask the two if they have any chips, to which megumi beats gojo to answering: “gojo ate them all. he’s always eating everything in my house. i try to get him to stop, but i guess he just gets too hungry.” the white haired man slowly turns to face megumi as you carry on about your business, eyes wide and a mortified smile on his face. megumi doesn’t look at him, continuing his english homework. 

gojo knows he’s being targeted the second time around, when he suggests that you sleep over in his room because it is getting late and megumi advises you not to because he allegedly saw a nonexistent redhead leaving his room last night and is ‘worried about your exposure to lice.’ gojo chases the spikey haired kid around his living room later on after you inevitably go home, threatening to take him back to the zenin clan. 

the day megumi outright proposes that you get a boyfriend during a car ride over to your campus, gojo almost loses control of the steering wheel and decides he has to keep you as far away from megumi as possible. megumi gets his wish when gojo begins to pay more attention to the days he’s supposed to pick him up from school and separates his days with you from them accordingly, but megumi doesn’t plan to let this slide so easily. for weeks, he suffered the aftermath of gojo getting distracted by being your shadow, and for weeks gojo would suffer his karma.

when he hears you on the phone with him, megumi barges in the room and loudly asks to talk to you. you, overhearing, welcome the conversation gladly and ask gojo to hand over the phone while he glares animatedly at the boy’s blank face. he has to wait twenty minutes for megumi to finish talking monotonously about his day into the speaker, and by the time gojo gets his phone back, you have to head to a meeting with your classmates. the call ends and gojo ponders over why his kid is praying so intently over his downfall. 

and of course there are the days when you ask to come over to see gojo and megumi, and gojo is physically incapable of refusing quality time with you or telling you no in any regard. he practically begs megumi on his knees to behave five minutes before you arrive, to which the fushiguro blatantly ignores. the blue eyed sorcerer is fuming with rage as he sits across from you and megumi, watching as you help him with his science project after him asking for your assistance, a stunning, bubbly grin on your face. gojo’s initial frustrations shift into envy for your attention, and before you know it he’s pouting with his arms crossed in silence. 

megumi is satisfied with himself, concluding that gojo is officially fed up and has given up completely on pursuing you. he commends himself mutely for his successes after working so hard, though his actual enjoyment of your tranquil company made the experience more tolerable. he runs off to take a shower when you’re grabbing your belongings, preparing to uber back to your dorm. normally gojo pesters you about letting him drive you home when you’re over, so when he only flashes you a smile and holds the door for you as you walk through, you immediately think something is wrong.

the blue eyed man’s lips press together, eyes blank as he shakes and tells you everything is okay. your eyes slim in suspicion as you look over his face, unconvinced by his horrible lying skills. you ask again and he smiles again, telling you he is fine and to go enjoy the rest of your day without him. you furrow your brows in confusion before realizing that you had been busy with little megumi all day and hardly paid attention to your friend. he’s jealous. you giggle, and find it cute the way his half smile melts and he broods, perplexed by your laughter. 

you tease your friend of a few months, telling him that the next time you hang out, you two will spend the day alone. pink rises to gojo’s cheeks. “you still wanna spend time with me?” he asks and you scoff. “yeah, why wouldn’t i?” “i don’t know, i just thought megumi convinced you not to like me…”

you laugh again, the sound ringing like church bells in his ear. you tell him he’s ridiculous for getting worked up over a ten picking on him and puffs his lips and rolls his eyes. you know there is a mutual attraction shared between you and gojo. you’ve liked him since the second he asked for your number, but never said anything because he limited your relationship to what you assumed ws platonic flirting. now, watching him pout over the thought that megumi pushed you away makes you realize that there may be something real to his attachment to you.

a smug smile lifts to gojo’s face and his mood immediately improves. he tells you he’ll pick you up from your math class tomorrow for a ride, just the two of you. you hum in agreement and lean up to your tiptoes, holding the side of his face with your fingers and pressing a kiss to his cheekbone. “it's a date,” you say. you pull away and his expression is dopey, eyes dazed and grin bright. 

megumi runs back into the living room at the wrong time. he goes to grab his bookbag from the sofa and return it to his room when he catches a glimpse of the horror, his face scrunching in disgust as you peck gojo’s cheek at the front door. megumi turns grim, mourning over his failed plan. oh well, he tried. he wishes you luck dealing with that freak, and figures that the next time gojo annoys him, he can just save himself half the trouble and log him out of the shared netflix account.

you are halfway out the door, smile making your cheeks ache and heart bursting, when you hear megumi shouting from inside. “wash your mouth when you get home, (y/n)! you don’t know where he’s been!” you hear the front door slam and dramatic, muffled complaining follow as you walk to your uber stifling a laugh.

[cherryobx]

pheromone perfume

pairing: jj maybank x reader

request: Could you write about that one perfume that’s making all men go crazy over their girls, like all clingy but with jj? Thank you (if not that’s fine sorry) 💕

a/n: thank you for the request @m3ntally-unstable! so sorry it took me so long to write! hope you enjoy it! and if any of yall find any typos or smth then let me know im too lazy to proofread lol

summary: you accidentally buy a pheromone perfume and JJ can't keep his hands off of you

warnings: none i think

wc: 0.9k

It was a total accident. You didn’t realise at the time of purchasing that you had bought a pheromone perfume. It smelled good and that’s why you bought it, not paying much attention to the label on the bottle. It was not very strong but it smelled sweet and fresh.  Only when JJ started acting weirder than normal did you start to suspect that your new perfume might be the cause.

When it first happened you were in the kitchen making yourself a sandwich and JJ came to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled his glass to the brim with cold water, chugging it afterwards.

“Can you make me one too? Pretty please.” he asks, looking over to where you’re assembling your mid-day snack with his puppy-dog eyes.

“Sure.” You happily oblige. You’re making yourself one anyway, might as well make two. It’s not a problem.

“Thank you.” He kisses you on the cheek and intends to turn to leave and go back to the living room but something stops him in his tracks. You smell different. 

He doesn’t understand it at first. You always smell good, good enough to bite. But this is different. He leans in closer, his nose almost touching your neck, and takes a deep whiff.

“What the hell are you doing?” 

JJ almost doesn’t register what you had just asked him. His mind is in a whirlwind and his mind is foggy, the only thought in his head is that he needs to be closer to you. He needs to touch you.

“You smell so good.” He stands behind you and wraps his arms around your waist, face pressed to the crook of your neck.

“JJ.”

“Hmm?” He presses small kisses to your neck, behind your ear, on your jaw. He’s so enamoured he can’t get enough of this new scent of yours. It smells like you always do, except somehow stronger and even better. It has enhanced your smell and it’s addicting.

“Are you okay?” The sandwich-making is on pause for the moment and you put down the knife in your hand.

“Mhm.” His mind barely forms any other thoughts than you.

You turn around in his arms and he lifts his head from your neck and meets your eye. He doesn’t waste a second to kiss you. You melt into his touch and let yourself enjoy the moment for a second.

His big hands snake behind your thighs and he lifts you on the kitchen counter, stepping between your parted legs. He breaks your kiss just to move back down to your neck and press even more kisses there, not so secretly smelling you again.

“JJ,” you pant.

He just grunts in response.

“If you want a sandwich you’re gonna have to take your hands off of me for a sec.”

“Fuck the sandwich.”

For the rest of the day he’s unable to keep his hands to himself. He’s constantly touching you, following you around like a dog. He’s being clingier than normal but you don’t give it that much thought at the moment. Maybe he’s just really into your new perfume. 

Later you start to think that it’s kind of weird that the day you buy a new perfume he can’t stop touching you. You then intentionally don’t wear the perfume for the next couple of days, instead spraying on your old ones that you’re still so fond of. And even though JJ likes those too, has expressed it many times in the past, he’s not as clingy anymore. Of course, he’s touchy and affectionate like he usually is  but not to that extreme degree.

So you put the new perfume on a few days later to test your working theory and JJ’s drawn to you like a moth to a flame. It’s like he smelled it from miles away because as soon as he’s at your place he’s almost climbing you like a tree. You called him over for a movie night and you’re on the couch together. Usually you lean against JJ or he has his arm wrapped around you or you’re laying on his chest. But this time JJ is literally smothering you. He’s laying on top of you and his head is resting on your collarbone. Occasionally he presses a light kiss there or on your neck. 

“JJ, I need to go pee.” He groans at that. “Can’t you just hold it?” he mutters into your skin.

“That’s not how it works, JJ. Please let me get up.” 

He reluctantly rolls off of you, a mopey look on his face. “Can I come with you?”

You’re confused. “Come with me? To pee? Why?”

He shrugs. “Just because.”

“It’ll take two seconds. I’ll be back before you know it.” JJ throws his head back and lets out another groan. 

You go to the bathroom, do your business, and just before your hand grabs the door knob you eye the perfume from the corner of your eye, sitting on the bathroom shelf. It makes you wonder. Maybe it really is the perfume. You pick it up and for the first time actually read the label on it. “Pheromone perfume,” you mutter to yourself and then scoff. It’s almost funny.

You return to the living room where JJ has been impatiently waiting for the last few minutes. “Took you long enough. Back to your spot, princess.”

You lay back down and he lies on you once again, but not before pressing a small peck to your lips.

Safe to say you’ll be using your new perfume more often.

[helaintoloki]

I am just so obsessed with the idea of Five and Reader's domestic life (without all those doomsday shite) 🫠 so please, if you can, I'd love to read something related to that 🙏🏻

a/n: hi anon sorry for the wait ! i just started the fall semester and haven’t had much time to write but i hope you enjoy this little slice of life -esque fic

warning: basically pure fluff

The dance hall is nearly empty save for the elderly couple rocking back and forth in each other’s arms in front of the stage where the big band plays their last song of the night. Tired busboys and cleanup crew members clear away the tables and sweep up any mess to prepare for the next day of business. Despite the evening coming to a close, you’re in no hurry to leave Five’s arms as he delicately twirls you around the dance floor to one of his favorite songs.

“Ready to call it a night?” He asks with a careful smile after watching your eyes nearly flutter shut for a third time. He knows you well enough to detect when you’ve reached the point of exhaustion, but he also knows you’re not one to ever admit this out of your own volition.

“Tired already, old man?” You counter playfully, but you don’t protest as he begins to lead you off the dance floor and out the doors to your car. Your feet are killing you and you want nothing more than to crawl into bed, and Five is fully aware of your current internal dialogue. He helps you into the car and even slips off your heels for you before taking his place behind the wheel.

“This was nice,” he admits in a soft voice, glancing over at you in the passenger’s seat. Your head is pressed against the cool glass of the window as you watch the city streets pass by, and you let out a gentle hum in response to his comment.

“It’s nice we get to do normal couple things now,” you agree thoughtfully. “No assignments to complete, no world-ending apocalyptic threats to stop, no timelines to fix. Just us getting another chance to relive our twenties again in a world where the moon is still intact.”

“I’m sorry about all that,” Five relents with a tired sigh. If not for him you probably never would have been wrapped up in all that mess in the first place, and he feels partly responsible for the chaotic nature your life had taken on the last few decades.

“Hey,” you call gently, prompting the boy to glance over at your sincere gaze and soft smile, “I wouldn’t change it for the world, you know that. I literally had the chance to, but I decided against it.”

“Don’t remind me,” he scoffs quietly at the memory. The Handler had cornered you once with an enticing deal- a chance to return to your own time in exchange for Five’s whereabouts and his plans to stop the end of the world. She mistakenly underestimated your loyalty to the time traveler, and you had gifted her with a solid right hook in response to her offer. That all felt so long ago to you both now.

The headlights of the car drown your front yard in artificial light as Five finally pulls into the driveway of your humble home. After everything had been set back to normal and the Cleanse had been stopped, you both decided to move out into the suburbs and purchased a lovely little fixer upper in a quiet neighborhood where almost nothing seemed to happen. It was exactly the fresh start you needed, and every time you stepped over the threshold through the front door you felt your heart fill with warmth all over again just like it had the first time Five had carried you inside.

“I think we should get a dog,” you voice aloud for no particular reason as you flip on the lights and shut the door behind you. The house is cozily warm despite your absence, and already you can feel the eagerness rising within you at the thought of crawling into bed.

“A dog?” Five repeats with a raised brow as he hangs his coat on the wall and sets your heels upon the shoe rack next to his own.

“After married people get a house they usually start having kids, or they get a dog,” you explain with a casual wave of your hand as you walk through the hallway and into the kitchen to fix yourself a glass of water. “I think we should get a dog.”

“Not a kid?” Five teases as his fingers playfully poke into your side. You jump at the feeling, and he uses the distraction as an opportunity to steal your glass from you so that he may take a hearty gulp of water before you can protest.

“I don’t think we’re ready for that yet. At least, I’m not. I can hardly handle babysitting Grace and the twins as it is.”

“To be fair, they take after their parents,” Five reminds you with a sarcastic chuckle before handing you your freshly refilled glass of water. “I think our kids would stand a better chance.”

“A Hargreeves child with a y/l/n as their mother?” You retort with a pointed look and uneasy smile. “Not likely. I’d like to remain chaos free for at least another few years before we get to that.”

“I can’t argue with that,” he relents with a sigh before wrapping his arms around you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. “We’ve had enough chaos to last us a lifetime. The kids can wait.”

“So we’re getting a dog?”

“We’ll get a dog,” Five chuckles with a careful nod as he presses his lips to your cheek.

“Can we name him Mr. Pennycrumb?”

“Mr. Pennycrumb?” Your husband retorts skeptically, pulling away to analyze your facial features in search of any falsehood or mirth. “Where’d you come up with that?”

“I read it in a comic book once,” you offer with a simple shrug as if it’s the most obvious explanation in the world. Despite how much time he’s spent with you, you still always find a way to surprise him when he least expects it. It’s one of the many things he loves about you, and it’s why your relationship has remained so strong after all this time. It’s hard to reach a stalemate when you’re always keeping him on his toes.

“Of course, what was I thinking,” Five hums thoughtfully as he pulls away from your figure and sets your now empty cup in the sink. “Mr. Pennycrumb it is.”

He presses a kiss to the crown of your head and turns to leave for the bedroom, but your melodious call of his name has him stopping dead in his tracks. You move forward to loosen his tie for him, an adoring smile on your face as you peer up at him through your lashes and quietly voice, “I love you.”

He grins, his gaze soft with a look that is only reserved for you as he presses his lips to your forehead and gifts you a tender hearted kiss. What he ever did to be lucky enough to have someone like you, he’ll never know, but what he does know is that he’ll gladly spend the rest of his time on this earth making you happy with the life you’ve built together.

“I love you too,” he utters reverently before pulling you into his arms once more for another kiss.

[moonbeamwritings]

"I hate you.”

The statement comes as Satoru leans against your door frame, your hand pressed to his shoulder as you try to get him to leave — to be on time for his train, for anything, just this once. It's a losing battle, trying to kick the lanky, lovesick sorcerer out of your apartment. He hovers in your doorway and lures you in with charming smirks and sweet little kisses. Just one more, he promises, all cheshire grinned and rosy cheeked, one more and then he'll finally go. And then one more turns into two turns into three.

“Oh yeah?”

You poise your hands on your hips. “Yeah.”

Without wasting a second, he takes your chin between his fingers, thumb ghosting along your bottom lip. His other hand curls around your waist. "Care to explain why?"

“You just-” You scoff, scrunching your nose in frustration, and when Satoru can’t stop the gooey smile from growing on his face, you rush to take his face into your palms, the pads of your thumbs resting in the curve of his dimples. “These. I hate these.”

“What?” A chuckle forces its way from Satoru’s throat, clipping his words as his skin warms. His hand abandons your chin in favor of finding purchase around your wrist, his thumb skimming your pulse point as it goes. “Use your words, angel.”

You groan, eyes rolling. “Your stupid smile and your stupid dimples. I hate them and I hate you. I just wanna-” And then, as if a switch suddenly flips, your gentle touch morphs into a pinch and then a squeeze, and suddenly Satoru’s cheeks are positively squished. 

“Whe- Hey. Ow, o- Baby-”

It’s not your fault, you think. It’s not your fault he’s so handsome, so damn near perfect it makes your knees weak. You’re not responsible for any acts of violent cute aggression, honest. And besides, if his little huffs and giggles are anything to go by, Satoru loves the attention – as usual.

"You–" you shake his head in your hold like a dog attacks a chew toy, "drive me crazy."

With bright eyes and puckered lips, Satoru asserts, "But you love me."

You let out an exaggerated sigh, like admitting what you both already know to be true is such a bother, but your hold on his cheeks softens just as your frustration melts into a shy smile. "I do."

Satoru's nose brushes yours and you can feel him press a smirk against your lips, his voice just above a whisper as he teases, "I knew it."

He kisses you then, stealing the breath from your lungs just as he did before this whole back and forth began. And when he pulls away, you can't help but remind him, "You're gonna miss your train."

Satoru guides you back into your apartment, shutting the door behind him with his foot. He pulls you close again. "I'll catch the next one."

[formulawolff]

vii. the in-between - t.w.

pairing: female driver! x toto wolff

word count: 5.2k

warnings: buckle up y’all cause we go. angst, cursing, size kink, edging, praise kink, FUCKING, LOTS OF FUCKING. toto being a simp, banter, yearning, mentions of divorce, mentions of alcohol use, creampie, teasing, yadayadayada… y’all know what’s about to go down

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“it’s fine, mom. really.” 

bringing a hand to your temple, you begin to massage, attempting to alleviate the accumulated pressure. 

“i mean, yeah, i’m not in trouble or anything. as far as i know, the fia is letting me race in suzuka. it was my first offense so they dropped the investigation. as long as i publicly apologize for my actions, everything will be cleared up.” 

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

do you know how many people have asked me about you? baby, people approach me at the goddamn grocery store asking me why you beat up that poor little british boy! he’s built like a twig for god’s sake! 

rolling your eyes, you lean back in your chair, keeping the phone pressed against your ear, “mom, his name is george russell. he drives for mercedes. he’s not some little boy.” 

all right, all right. well maybe he needs to come over for some dinner or something. get some meat on those bones. anyway, did i tell you that your father has been scouring ebay trying to purchase sports cards with your car on it? well, he’s found ones with you on them too. he wants to make a booklet of his favorite kiddo. 

with that discovery, your heart swells, “is he really? tell him to look up topps chrome cards. those are the best ones. since i’m not as popular as max or lewis, they should be pretty cheap. and mom, i’m your only kiddo.” 

that’s why we’re so proud of you. even if you get into fist fights, we still love you bunches. when do you think you’ll come home? your dad wants to take you out in his baby. he’s made some modifications to it. he thinks you’ll appreciate it more than i will. 

“where is dad? is he asleep?” 

yes honey. he’s asleep. snoring away on the couch with the dogs. i wish we could give you a taste of home somehow. maybe i could have a care package sent to japan? 

“mom,” you exhale, “that would be so much money. don’t worry about it. were you guys considering flying out for miami?” 

oh yes, about that! you perk up in your chair, anticipating your mom’s response. we are going to be there. we can’t wait to see you. we miss you so much. it’s so quiet when you’re not home. will i be able to meet some of your coworkers? 

letting you a giggle, you shake your head, “mom. they’re my fellow drivers. we’re not coworkers. but yeah, i could probably introduce you to a few of them. daniel wants to meet you two.” 

what about that handsome fellow with the bright blue eyes? he drives for redbull! and yes, i would love to meet daniel. 

“max verstappen?” you arch a brow, “we’d have to see about that one. he’s a very busy man.” 

okay, okay. the line cuts out briefly. hey honey, i think i need to head to bed. i love you so much. keep in touch, okay? we’ll see you in a few short weeks. 

nibbling on your lower lip, you nod, “i love you too, mom. tell dad i love him. i miss you guys. i can’t wait to see you.” 

me either. goodnight honey, or good morning or afternoon or whatever time it is over there. i’ll text you when i wake up! love you. 

“love you,” your lip trembles, hands clamming up as you the line goes silent. 

fuck, were you homesick. 

you just had to make it a few more weeks. then, you could finally reunite with your parents in miami. although you knew you would be so fucking busy, you would make time. 

you always did when it came to your parents. 

also, you had another plan brewing as you scroll through your contact list, searching for a certain dutch assassin. a certain dutch man who happened to be a three-time world champion. 

somehow, someway, your mom was going to meet max verstappen. 

you had to make that happen. 

you had to. 

currently, you were sitting on the edge of a bed in a suite in london, anxiously awaiting the arrival of your driver. a decently-sized suitcase sat near the door, a carry-on stacked on top. 

this driver was provided specific instructions to transport you from london to brackley, dropping you off at the door of a certain team principal’s home. 

yet, you were well aware that it wasn’t going to be just any old home. 

this man was billionaire, after all. 

buzzing in your grasp, your phone notifies you of a new text. 

from none other than toto wolff. 

the driver is on the elevator, heading up towards your suite. DO NOT handle your bags. he will do that for you. i don’t want you to fuss over a single thing. from there, he will bring you here, where he will punch in the code for the gate. i will be waiting for you at the door. 

i can’t wait to see you, schatzi. i miss your beautiful face and sweet laughter. 

oh, and i can’t wait to kiss you. 

(and yes, i am pacing around in my office as i type this. i can’t focus on anything else but your arrival) 

with sazuka quickly approaching next week, you would only have a couple of days with the team principal before you had to part ways. he would have prep, meetings, press, where he would then fly out to sazuka. meanwhile, you would have to catch a flight, meet with your team, prep, and potentially meet with press, fans, and the other drivers. 

additionally, you had to address the incident that occurred last week at the australian grand prix. to your surprise, the fia had dismissed the investigation, finding no substantial evidence that the two of you needed to be punished. due to the nature of the accident, george was not punished, as he did no illegal maneuvers or intentionally attempted to take you out of the race. 

on the other hand, the fia was adamant that if this happened again, you were going to face consequences. you would have to shell out a pretty penny for fines, and then you would be immediately disqualified from three future races, deeming you unable to participate.

although they were merciful, the fia made it very clear that since it was your first offense, they were going to be fair.. 

however, if there was a next time, they would not be so kind. 

a crisp knock rang out, startling you. 

springing to your feet, you open the door, an older man smiling in greeting. 

“you must be golden girl,” sticking out his right hand, he dips his head, “i’m theodore. i’ll be your driver to brackley this evening. i am here to not only be your escort, but to tend to anything you may need. mr. wolff made it very clear that you were not to fret over a single thing.”

“good morning,” the corners of your lips curl into a quaint smile as you shake his hand, “thank you. i’m eager to see the english countryside.”

“i’ll handle your bags ma’am,” theodore clears his throat, “you just take it easy.”

“will do,” you nod, “how long is the drive?”

“about an hour and a half,” theodore responds curtly, slinging your carry-on around his shoulder, “don’t worry, it’s not too boring. follow me this way, my lady. our chariot awaits!”

following him down the hall, he presses the button for the elevator. there’s a silence between you, but not an uncomfortable one. theodore’s presence was warm, inviting even.

upon meeting him, you understood why he was toto’s right-hand driver. once he escorted you to the car, he opens the door for you, ushering you inside. when you settle into the backseat, you notice the glint of a redbull can, along with your favorite snacks and candy. 

“mr. wolff wanted to ensure you wouldn’t be hungry,” theodore states as he climbs into the driver’s seat, pressing the button for the ignition, “he told me that you can be a little cranky if you don’t have any snacks.”

“oh? he said that?” a giggle bubbles up in your throat, “did he say anything else about me?”

“oh yes,” theodore chuckles, turning the gear shift, “he’s told me all about you. to be quite frank, he hasn’t shut up about you the last week or so.”

“so you know who i am?”

“of course i do,” theodore nods, flashing you a grin in the rearview mirror, “you’re one of the best formula one drivers on the grid. you drive for williams racing. you’ve only won one grand prix, but i believe you’ll win a few more this season. your hometown is in yuma, arizona. you’re twenty-two years old, and from what toto has shared with me, you have a very bright future ahead.”

“are you a formula one fan?” you arch a brow, punching open the can of redbull. 

“who isn’t?” he shrugs, “well, ms. golden girl, we are going to begin our journey. if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to speak up. if you’d like, you can tell me a little bit more about yourself. we will have plenty of time.”

as theodore promised, the drive to brackley was painless. yet, as the car pulls up to the gate, your heart skips a beat.

this was no quaint english cottage.

toto’s brackley residence was a sleek and sprawling two-story home, a black and white exterior with massive, thick windows. your jaw almost drops, and theodore notices, letting out a hearty laugh, “don’t act so shocked, golden girl. i’m sure you’re aware toto is a very wealthy man.”

“i thought he would have kept things somewhat simple.”

“oh love,” theodore shakes his head, “you and i both know that toto is anything but simple.”

rolling down the window, theodore punches in a code, the gate sliding open. as the car lurches up the drive, your heart thumps in your rib-cage, blood roaring in your ears. 

this was really happening. 

you were really staying with toto. 

“nervous?” theodore senses the shift in energy, “you have no reason to be nervous. he’s been anticipating your arrival. he’ll be happy to see you.”

“thank you,” you manage to muster a meek smile, “i-i just didn’t think we would get this far.”

“well savor the time together. time flies, especially in our world. one day you’re at a track, the next you’re in another country. he adores you, golden girl. so don’t you fret about that. just relax, and enjoy your time. i will be here in a couple of days to bring you to the airport for your departure to sazuka.” 

“thank you,” at his words, you can’t help but let out a sigh of relief, “i look forward to our next drive together!”

“as do i,” shifting the gears, theodore puts the car in park, slipping out of the driver’s seat, “we have arrived. let me get your bags.”

he strolls over to your door, opening it as you clamber out, stretching your sore legs.

no matter how much time you spent in a car, there was always that persisting stiffness. 

you’d probably need a double-knee replacement by the time you were forty, but that was the least of your worries. 

out of the corner of your eye, you notice a figure strolling towards the car. with the large stature, you knew it could only be one particular individual. 

he’s dressed in a royal blue button-up, paired with khaki slacks. on his feet are earth-toned dress shoes. the blue hue of the button-up complements his dark hair, almost brightening his features, giving them a youthful glow. tufts of his hair are all over as the wind blows. 

yet, he looks as gorgeous as ever, his toned muscles rippling under the thin fabric of the button-up. 

“welcome to brackley schatzi,” the grin enveloping his face is radiant, “i hope the drive wasn’t too bad.”

“not at all,” you shake your head, the team principal nearly sucking the wind out of your lungs as he wraps his arms around you, squishing you against his chest. 

“i missed you so much,” tender lips connect with your cheek, “good afternoon, theo! did she behave herself?”

“of course,” theodore promptly places your bag next to the entrance, suitcase in tow, “i have another commitment here soon, mr. wolff. i hope it is all right i placed her bags next to the door?” 

“don’t worry about it,” toto’s fingers find yours, intertwining them together, “i’ll get them. please drive safe, theo.”

“i will, mr. wolff,” theodore dips his head, turning to you, he takes your hand, shaking it, “it was lovely to meet you. i look forward to our next meeting, golden girl. enjoy your time together, you two!”

“we will,” toto squeezes your hand, “goodbye, theo.”

“goodbye, mr. wolff!” theodore spins on his heel, making his way to the car, “behave, you two!”

in response, toto gives a thumbs up, theodore slipping back into the driver’s seat. as he peels off, toto shifts his body, facing you.

“charming, isn’t he?”

“he’s great! kept me entertained the whole drive!”

“i told him you have a short attention span so to keep you occupied,” toto shooks you a wink, earning an eye roll. 

“i can’t stand you.”

“you’re standing right now, aren’t you?” his chuckle is light, “come, let’s head on in. i have lunch waiting for us.”

“you made me lunch?” 

“yes, i’m going to drive you all the way out here just so starve you,” he scoffs, yet his tone says otherwise, “i have food ready. and wine, if you want some.”

“don’t tell me you want to get me drunk so i’ll confess all my secrets.”

“consider that my new goal for the afternoon,” toto grabs your bag, along with your suitcase. pushing open the door, he clears his throat, “welcome to my home away from home.”

as you step in the entrance, your eyes widen, lips parting.  

the space was truly a reflection of toto. refined and elegant, with a hints of charm. the marble floors gleam under the soft lighting, rays of sun shining through the vast windows. the walls were covered in a menagerie of decor, from pieces of art to mercedes memorabilia. it was not the typical billionaire’s home, where the air felt sterile and cold. 

this place was warm and full of life, coaxing you to stay. 

“cat got your tongue?” his breath fans against your ear, a hand gliding along your back, “follow me, schatzi.”

“your home is beautiful.”

glancing over his shoulder, you are met with his gorgeous smile, dimples and all, “thank you, love. i’m glad you like it.”

trailing behind the austrian, you stroll down a long hallway, turning into the last room on the left. toto places your bag and suitcase next to a glass door, “this is my bedroom. you’ll be staying here with me.”

“straight to the bedroom huh?” you fold your arms across your chest, teasing, “you just couldn’t wait–”

“come here,” toto growls, hands grasping your wrists, bringing you in, “no, i can’t wait.”

looking up, you match his gaze, cocking your head, “what are you going to do about it?”

at your rebuttal, toto’s eyes narrow, “what do you think i’m going to do?”

“fuck me.”

“hmmmm,” he hums, leaning in, “you’re right, schatzi. i am going to fuck you. i’m going to fuck you till you’re weeping me for me to stop.”

“weeping?” your hands roam, tugging on his button-up, “i’d like to see you try.”

“oh schatzi,” he tsks, “you don’t know what you’re in for.”

“show me then.”

“i will,” lips ghost over yours, “i’ll show you how badly i missed you baby.”

as he kisses you, it’s tender at first, brimmed with the sweetness of reunion. one of his hands wraps around the base of your neck, tilting your head back as his tongue gains access to your mouth, the tang of redbull tracing your mouth. yet, as you whimper, a fiery hunger sets ablaze.

fuck, he missed you. 

he missed you more than he liked to admit.

tension hangs thick, clouding the space as his mouth places sloppy, wet kisses down your jawline, finding your neck. nipping gently, it takes every fiber in his being to resist the urge to just mark you all over. to leave marks where they could see. to make them wonder who was doing this to you.

but he couldn’t. not there. 

in response, your hips buck forward, grinding against his. toto groans, his head rolling back. 

there was not a single coherent thought in his mind. 

only lust. and fuck, was it consuming him whole. 

scooping you into his arms, he brings you over to the bed, your back meeting with the plush mattress. 

“i can’t wait,” he pants, chest heaving, “i can’t wait any longer. i need you.”

“then take me,” your words drip like honey, oh so sweet, “make me yours, toto.”

jesus fucking christ.

he was going to fuck the shit out of you. right here, right now.

there was no going back. 

he ached for it. he yearned for it. the fantasy flooded his dreams at night.

the things he wanted to do to you? 

downright filthy. sinful, even 

he couldn’t lose his inhibitions. not yet. he had to hang on. 

however, at this point, toto was hanging on by a thread. 

peeling your leggings and panties off, he tosses them to the floor, “sit up.”

you obey, nearly trembling with anticipation as fingertips hook the hem of your crewneck, pulling it over your head. nimbly, he hovers over you, finding the clasps of your bra. he undoes them, a crimson hue dusting his cheeks as he takes in the sight of you completely naked beneath him. 

god, you were absolutely breathtaking. 

every inch of you was stunning. every scar. every mole. every freckle. every stretch mark. 

you were so fucking beautiful. 

his hands fly to his button-up, eager for what was to come. 

yet, your hands find his, “let me.”

toto bites his tongue as you carefully undo the buttons of his shirt, his cock twitching, aching for your touch as your fingers delve towards his belt. you unbuckle it, tilting your head back, batting your thick lashes.

fuck. fuck. fuck. 

could this moment last forever? 

���toto.”

“yes?”

“i-i don’t know if i can take it all,” there’s apprehension inflected in your tone, almost as if you were embarrassed, “to be honest, i’ve never–”

oh god. 

this was going to ruin him.

just like he was going to ruin you.

“don’t worry,” a tender hand cups your cheek, the pad of his thumb caressing your cheekbone, “i’ll go slow. i won’t make you take it all. i’ll take care of you baby, i promise.”

you nod, lips pursed as you tug on his slacks, hooking the hem of his boxers, “you’re just so fucking big. like holy shit.”

pride swells within the austrian for a moment, a chuckle rumbling in his chest, “i promise you that it’s not as big as you think.”

“can i see for myself?” the question is so innocent, so pure. 

yeah, he was going to ruin you.

he was going to make a mess out of you. 

“lay down schatzi,” he orders, authority oozing into the words. 

kicking off his slacks, he curses slightly as his boxers stick around one of his ankles. this wasn’t going to be perfect, but he wanted it to be. for you. 

he wanted this to be a moment you remembered for the rest of your life. he wanted this memory to fill your thoughts every second of every day. he wanted you to touch yourself to this, desperate and oh so wet, throbbing for him. yearning for his mouth. for his touch. for him.

carefully, he climbs onto the bed, hovering over you. as you look down, you can feel his gaze searing into you, burning right through. 

his cock was far bigger than your fantasies. it was thick, approximately eight or nine inches. you couldn’t tell. his tip was tinged pink, the glisten of precum catching in the light. veins wrapped around the length, throbbing as your hand wrapped around its base.

“fuck,” as he moans, you lick your lips, realizing how much you loved the sound that just filled your ears, “let me feel you, please.”

“please toto.”

swallowing thickly, he inhales sharply as he positions his tip at your entrance. applying pressure, a whimper rings out as he pushes in, your walls stretching. 

your pussy was heaven. absolutely perfect as it wrapped around his cock, begging for more as he pushed further and further. you were absolutely drenched, the juices slick and oh so sickeningly sweet. he didn’t even have to taste you to know. he just knew you were sweet. like pure ambrosia. 

perhaps he could get a taste.

“toto,” your lashes flutter, his name so perfect from your lips, “you feel–”

“your pussy is perfect,” he finds a steady rhythm, pumping in and out of your tight hole, “absolutely perfect baby. fuck, you’re perfect.”

skin connects with skin, the temperature of the room elevated as his hands found yours, pinning them to the bed. lips collide, the kisses desperate, hungry and bursting with need. as he picks up the pace, moans fill his mouth. 

fuck, it felt like he was going to split you into two. 

“t-toto,” there it was again, his name. music to his ears.

“yes baby?” a sheen of sweat clings to his forehead, tufts of hair dampened, “what is it? does it hurt? do you need me to slow down?”

“no. fuck me. just fuck me.”

oh god. 

oh, fuck. 

his cock twitches, the pleasure building in your abdomen as the tip brushes your g-spot, back arching, begging to be closer. closer to him.

could you be any closer to him in this moment? was it even possible?

before you know it, his arms wrap around your frame, picking you up off the mattress. he holds you close to his chest, one hand holding your head, cupping the back of your skull. the other remains on your lower back, gripping you tightly as the new angle sends bliss rippling all throughout your body.

he fucks you, and god there was no holding back. his cock was pounding into you now, showing no mercy. your ass slaps against his thighs, filthy noises flooding the space. 

as you bounce, you tense, your walls practically squeezing him, “toto, oh my god, i’m going–”

“good girl,” his coos, “be a good girl, baby. cum for me.”

as you get closer and closer, toto watches. fuck, the way your lips were parted ever so slightly. the way hairs clung to your forehead. the way your lashes fluttered. all he could see was pleasure. pure, intense pleasure. 

you unravel, coming undone. 

that sight alone was enough to make him cum.

“come here,” toto hisses through gritted teeth, “come here baby.”

the moment his lips mold with yours, you feel his cock throb, pumping threads of cum into your weeping hole. your muscles spasm, shuddering as he pulls out. 

the two of you study one another for a moment, catching your breath. fingertips brush stray hairs from your temple. 

“i’m sorry.”

“for?” you nuzzle into his collarbone, relishing the way his cologne lingered, mixing with his natural scent. 

“going too far.”

“that was not too far.”

tenderly, the austrian pulls you down with him, letting out a sigh as his head hits the pillow. your head remains against his chest, admiring the definition and tone for a moment. he peppers kisses along your forehead, browbone, and cheeks. 

“if i ever go too far, let me know.”

“i think we’re both in too deep,” you murmur, “you’re lucky you had the blinds drawn.” 

“that would be something,” his chest vibrates as he speaks, “could you imagine? some random mercedes intern witnessing the team principal fucking the most beautiful woman on the planet?”

however, a gleam catches your eye.

on his left ring finger, your heart sinks as you notice the ring. 

his wedding band.

toto senses your silence, the way you tensed up against him, “what is it schatzi?”

“why are you still wearing your wedding band?”

oh, so you had noticed.

“it’s complicated.”

“complicated?” your voice falters as you prop yourself up with your elbow so you could meet his gaze, “you’re wearing your fucking wedding ring. it’s not that complicated.”

“yes, i am, wearing my ring,” he exhales, “would you prefer me to take it off? it has no meaning anymore. susie and i are divorced. we finalized it last december. when we signed the papers, we made a mutual agreement to wear our wedding bands when we were in the public eye. it keeps the speculations at bay. it’s mostly for the sake of my children. and for her sake. we respect one another and i would hate for her hard work to be diminished by rumors and gossip.”

although his words were sincere, your heart races still, anxiety a swirling torrent in your stomach, “how long have you been separated?”

“almost three years. we separated in july of 2021.” 

“oh,” you suck in a breath, shame washing over you, “i-i’m sorry for the sudden questions. i just–”

“it would complicate your feelings for me. and no one wants too mess around with a married man. i get it baby, i really do.”

although he provided a very base-level explanation of his failed marriage, toto was more than willing to go into more depth. that is, if you wanted. more than anything, he wanted you to know. that aspect was becoming increasingly frustrating, as the team principal tried to maintain that dominant, bold, persona.

you were making him weak. his little soft spot. 

well, not so little these days. 

“i cannot stand how well you read me,” rolling your eyes, you turn your back to him.

“don’t turn your back on me now,” he tsks, “do you believe me, schatzi?”

“i don’t think you could ever lie to me.”

“i couldn’t,” toto leans over, placing soft kisses all over your shoulders, “i think it would destroy me. the guilt would be too much to bear.”

“if we’re spilling secrets now,” you roll over, face-to-face once again, “i have another question for you.”

“all right.”

“why did you approach james about my contract behind my back?” 

for once, the team principal is caught by surprise, his heart skipping a beat. 

the hurt plastered across your features is clear, your brows furrowed, eyes narrowed. there’s a glimmer of anguish in their depths, slightly glossy from the threat of tears. 

“i wanted to gauge how he felt if you were to leave williams,” that was the truth, really, no other intentions behind it, “he was not too keen to discuss it, but i just wanted to know how upset he would be if you were to sign with another team. i did it for you, to soften the blow.”

“soften the blow?”

“yes,” toto nods, “to soften the blow when you tell him you’re leaving williams and signing with mercedes.”

“you don’t know that for–”

“but i do,” his voice hardens, “i do know. we can’t just lay here and deny that in your heart, you want to be with me at mercedes. you’ve made the decision already. you just haven’t figured out how you’re going to approach james, alex, or your team.”

biting your tongue, you turn your head, averting his gaze.

toto was right. you had made your decision. 

it was just a matter of time before you had to face the facts. 

“i’m right, aren’t i?” 

“you are,” you huff, squeezing your eyes shut, “i-i just don’t know how to tell everyone. i don’t know how to tell my parents. i don’t know how to bring it up to james. it’s just so.. fuck. it’s so fucking overwhelming to think about.”

“then let me help you.”

“how?” you inquire, “how would you possibly do that?”

“i’ll keep my distance from here on out, but i will help you draft up a letter that you can give to james. or, i can help you practice what you’re going to say. just let me help you schatzi,” fingers grasp your chin, turning your head. 

“you hear me? i’ll help you.”

“can we just worry about it later?” 

“of course,” strong arms envelop your frame, drawing you in against his body, “for now, we can snuggle. would you like that?”

“i would.”

your tough exterior completely crumbles as his mouth hovers by your ear, murmuring words in german. desperately, you ache to know what he said. was it something important? or just sweet nothings? 

sometimes he was a difficult man to decipher.

“hey, have you opened that gift yet? the one i brought to you in jeddah?”

“no,” you admit, heat billowing into your cheeks, “i have a hard time accepting gifts.”

“clearly.”

before you can respond, he’s up from the bed, strolling over to your bags. unzipping your carry-on, he searches for that parcel. fishing it out of your bag, he sets in on the bed, sliding on his boxers before plopping it in front of you.

“open it. right now.”

“right now?” you echo, “toto, i–”

“open it.”

“fine,” nimbly, your fingers untie the bow, peeling away the wrapper. 

underneath the paper, there is a tiny velvet box. it’s long and slender, rectangular in shape.

“what is this?”

“open it and you’ll know,” toto urges, following your every move, anticipating your reaction.

opening the box, your heart swells at the sight before you.

it’s a bracelet, a dainty figaro chain, complete with a charm. the charm is an outline of the saudi arabian track. picking it up, you inspect it, noticing a date engraved on the backside of the charm. 

“how were you able to get this so quickly after the race?” 

“i have my ways,” toto bears a sheepish grin, “do you like it?”

“like it? i love it.”

well, you didn’t love it. you fucking adored it. it was perfect, and so you. it was something that you could wear everyday, a constant reminder of the years of effort to get you here. not to mention it was gorgeous, the chain shiny, freshly polished. 

a hand reaches out, plucking the chain from the box. his brows are knit together with concentration as he slips the chain around your wrist, ensuring it’s safely clasped.

“i figured it would be something you could always wear. a reminder of when you made history.”

“it’s beautiful,” sitting up, you shift your weight to your knees as you wrap your arms around his neck, “thank you, toto.”

“always, schatzi. don’t worry, i will always spoil you.”

as toto nuzzles into the crook of your neck, he was well aware of one thing.

you had made your decision. 

you hadn’t outright said it, but he knew you made your decision. 

you would be signing to mercedes for the 2025 season. 

you were finally going to be by his side every day. 

there was no more in-between. no more will she or won’t she. no more nights of him lying awake, wondering where you stood. no more driving himself insane pondering all of the possibilities that could unravel. 

he had you. 

you were all his now. 

and god, did that leave such a sweet taste in his mouth. 

˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧˖⁺‧₊˚♡˚₊‧⁺˖

taglist: @joalslibrary @martwll @prettiest-at-the-party @pucksandpower @kravitzwhore @toldyouitwasamelodrama @annewithaneofthegreengable @persona1lies @zoeyjadetice2010 @whoisss @sinners-98-world

if i missed anyone, please let me know! also, you are more than welcome to be added to the taglist! thank you for reading! <3

[kedreeva]

I saw tags just now that stated the user doesn't trust people who buys bred cats and dogs, with the implication being, I have to assume, that any (purebred) cat or dog that was bred is owned by someone that has done wrong specifically by sourcing their animal from a breeder (as opposed to a rescue).

Friend, this is not the case at all. Reasonably bred cats and dogs from pure breeds are not the problem. Mill breeders and "backyard" breeders that slap together any two animals to make a profit with no regard for the health of the animal are the problem. People not fixing their pets or not properly containing them during heats are the problem. People who perpetuate unhealthy mutations (like the Scottish fold, like brachycephalic animals) are the problem.

Responsible breeders producing reasonable numbers of healthy, well-bred animals from quality stock are not the ones filling shelters or putting strays on the streets. A person who researched their breeder and engaged in a responsible pet purchase of an ethical breed from an ethical breeder rather than an unknown animal from a mill, backyard breeder, or even rescue (which often are full of offloads from the other two) is not untrustworthy for this act.

In fact, they're doing it exactly right.

[cry4mina]

What You Need

(Pole!Dancing Momo x fem!reader)

Word Count: 4.4K

Light Angst/Smut

Summary: Momo has been locked in her studio for a week and a half despite your want for her attention. Little do you know, she’s been preparing a surprise for you.

TW: THIS IS MOSTLY FUCKING! Pole dancing, stripping, praise kink, Momo is a bottom (whaaaaaat), face fucking, fingering, and I’m unsure if i missed anything so just be aware of the sex.

A/N: The brain rot was real yall. A thank u to the secret contributor whomst helped me articulate words lmao anyway, DMs and asks are always open! Pls drink water and have a lovely day!

—

A long sigh leaves your lips while you lay down on the couch and scroll through your phone, switching between the same three apps before you huff again. You’re at home and so is Momo but she’s locked herself in her studio…again. Just like she had for the last week and a half.

Rolling over to one side and opening your messages, only to stare at the one you sent Momo an hour beforehand.

You: I miss you [9:45pm]

You: Can you come upstairs soon? :( [9:45pm]

Of course she didn’t reply. Scoffing in annoyance, you stand. Making your way to your shared bedroom and stripping down to just underwear on the way. Throwing your clothes in the laundry hamper, you stare into space. Bringing your hand up for a moment to wipe the sleep out of your eye momentarily.

It had been 3 hours since you’d seen her. Coming home in a whirlwind, throwing all her stuff to the ground before she kissed you and sped off to the basement studio. With no response to your previous message, you decide to send another.

You: I’m going to bed…let me know when you have time for me, I guess. [10:46pm]

A little passive aggressive for you, sure, but she knew how you’d been feeling. A conversation was had a few days ago about how you felt like she had been held up in the studio and not really spending time with you outside of coming to bed at 3am only to wake up at 8am and leave for her schedule. She said she understood and assured you it would all be worth it in the end…but you missed her.

Slipping into one of her oversized shirts that smelled like her with only panties on underneath, you wash your face and brush your teeth when your phone vibrates on the counter.

Mo: Please don’t go to sleep yet! [10:51pm]

Mo: I have something I want to show you! [10:51pm]

Mo: Give me 10 minutes and then come down to the studio, okay? I love you. [10:52pm]

Spitting the sweet minty toothpaste out and rolling your eyes, you start your skin care routine. Washing your face, dabbing on serums, the whole nine before you head through the living room. Passing the kitchen and head down the steps to the door of the soundproof room added on to the original house after purchase.

This wasn’t a space you ever felt like was yours so you rarely went inside. You remember her having it built into the house before you both moved in together. Only having seen it one time, to view the finished product all decorated and sparkling new.

Momo, of course, stayed with you when the construction workers were in and out of her house for the better part of 4 months. Sleeping in the same bed every night, cooking dinner together, date nights more frequently, having the dogs around, it was all such a dream that strengthened the already strong relationship.

The day the room passed inspection, she took the dogs and went home, worried about being in your space for that long. Not wanting to be a bother. She was always so kind and respectful but the silence of the house without their presence didn’t feel right. Momo called you right as you went to call her that night.

“Hey, uhm…I know it’s late but…I can’t fall asleep…the bed seems too…”

“Empty?”

“You feel it too?…Hey, would you- uhm… Do you want to com-”

“I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” interrupting the sentence before she could finish, beaming at the thought of sleeping next to her another night.

She asked you the next morning while you were tangled in the sheets, cuddling, if you wanted to move in together. You agreed with no hesitation.

Nothing compared to waking up to her everyday. You were missing that part the most as you reminisce on the memories. Sure, it hadn't been that long of a time, but the person who couldn’t fall asleep without you (and the person you couldn’t sleep without) was apparently too wrapped up in whatever was in that studio to be bothered to come to bed. Or hang out on the couch. Or spend any quality time with you.

Even with this, you respected her space. Trying not to be intrusive with her busyness and not going into the studio unless you were invited.

A little intimidated by the unfamiliarity of the room, you turn the knob and quietly take a step before closing the door lightly behind you. The walls are covered in white sheets, opening the space up, with the exception of a few mirrors that were strategically placed along the curtains.

Oak hardwood flooring really brought the brightness of the room together. A small couch and a chair sitting right in front of a silver pole that is bolted into the ground and ceiling beam.

Oh.

Blush covers your cheeks when you realize the purpose of that pole. Walking over to it and grabbing with your hand, you swing around on it, trying to hold your weight up to see how many times you can spin.

A small giggle can be heard through the sheets as Momo reveals herself from behind the curtain. Momo always admired your playfulness. Being able to match her energy was one of the many reasons she fell in love with you in the first place.

You hear the sound of heels against the flooring when you stop yourself from using the pole as a jungle gym, whipping your head towards the noise to see your loving girlfriend…in black thigh high pleasures with clear heels and soles and a black lace lingerie set you had never seen before.

Breath leaves your lungs immediately, you can’t help but gawk at her. Almost drooling, taking in her figure, eyes tracing every single part of her frame, up and then down and back up again. Forgetting to blink completely, absolutely overwhelmed with lust.

Momo smirks at you, running her hands through her hair and letting it fall back into place, slightly lifting her head to expose her neck a little more causing even more of a reaction between your legs.

She knows exactly what she’s doing.

Sashaying towards you, hips fully swinging as she approaches. She wraps her arms strategically on your torso, pressing her body into you. Melting together seamlessly even with the drastic height difference, your hands around the back of her neck when she leans down into you, bringing her lips close to your ear.

“So, you just want some quality time then?” muttered through the tension created in mere seconds. The act sends the warmest chill down your spine and a trickle of neediness onto the fabric of your underwear.

Nodding your head softly and biting your lower lip, any frustration you had disappeared in that moment with the way she guided you back towards the chair. Using her legs to ease you backwards, still holding onto your waist before gently pushing you into the seat she placed right in front of her stage.

Eye level with her waistband, you stare shamelessly at her abs, leaning into press your lips lightly on her stomach while looking up at her, eye dilating as you feel the goosebumps on her skin rise and her breath to cease.

A long exhale and a shutter as she lays her palm flat on your chest, pushing you back against the chair hard enough for the front legs of it to lift a few centimeters off the ground. A warning to let her continue with her plan.

She towers over you, hair framing her face casting the most delicate shadows. She unlocks her phone, swiping up and tapping a few times before tossing it onto the couch that’s against the back wall of the room.

The lights dim and music played low enough to hear the sound of her heels clicking against the wood. The song was hazy, alluring, and unfamiliar, not that you paid any mind to it at all. You are focusing solely on Hirai Momo, who is preparing to give you the show of a lifetime.

Your show.

All for you.

Momo takes a few languid steps around the pole, circling it enough to gain a little momentum before lifting herself up and using her weight to rotate the pole, showing off a variety of different poses as she watches your reactions, giggling at the way you gripped the arms of the chair in desperation.

Pulling herself up and holding onto the metal with her thighs and a single hand, she spins slowly while leaning back, letting her fingers trail between her tits. She falls into her well practiced routine. Her grace and agility intertwining and creating this seductively sensual display of pure strength had you absolutely weak.

Of course, you were very familiar with her body, but you had no idea that this was something she even had interest in utilizing all that muscle for.

A surprise indeed.

Your soft, fluffy, bottom girlfriend was using her body to dance for you in a way you never thought she would. Swinging herself in a way so calculated and so suggestive that it leaves absolutely nothing to the imagination.

It’s almost as if she’s grinding against the pole to taunt you. You’re staring at her attentively, burning holes into her flesh with every second your eyes lay on her. Dripping and clenching around nothing, shifting yourself in your seat to grind down a little and feel some form of stimulation.

The temperature rises within you, leaning back into the chair again to watch your girlfriend closely and see every muscle shifting and flexing. Her arms tensing through her movements makes your mouth and pussy drool for her in tandem.

Momo makes eye contact with you while upside down, legs holding her up on the pole. She slides down quickly, stopping herself before she hits the floor. Momo pulls herself up, swinging her legs around, you hear her knees clammer against the hardwood.

Breath hitching at the intimate display, clenching around nothing as she crawls towards you. So many filthy, vile thoughts race through your mind as her hands slither up your thighs, tracing the hem of your underwear, just to tease.

Gulping harshly as she uses your thighs to lift herself into a standing position. She places a finger under your chin and lifts it so your eyes connect again, lust blown eyes seer your vision. Canceling out everything but her.

Momo leans down teasingly close to your lips. Mouth chasing after hers in an attempt to meld together in an act of desperation. She’s sure to pull away but continues to stay close enough to keep you in her grasp. That devilish smirk paints itself on her face before she turns around, exposing her bare ass to you through her thong.

Oh, fuck.

Momo lowers herself onto your lap, slowly rolling her hips to the rhythm of the song. Your hands have a mind of their own, traveling up to her hips, taking in the texture of the lace and how it hugged her skin so perfectly.

A soft moan can be heard over the song playing. Momo’s hands fly to the thin arms of the chair to keep her level, rutting her hips a little harder onto you.

She lifts herself off you slowly, turning around to place her hands on the arms of the chair again, leaning over you as her arms squeeze her breast together with a very specific intention in mind.

Momo strategically places one of her legs between your knees before you go to cross them. She knew you'd have a hard time keeping still through her choreography. She wanted your face covered desperation and you dripping out of pure need for her touch. Completely at her mercy.

“You should take these off” hooking her fingers into your waistband to let you know it wasn’t a request. Sliding your underwear off hastily, tossing them out of view and finally connecting your lips.

Hungrily reaching out for her, practically losing yourself in her, your movements mirror each other's passion. Lips fused together, erratically fumbling through the open mouthed kissing and steamy lap dance.

Momo tries to kneel down in front of you, catching her before her knee can hit the ground and tugging her thong down to her ankles.

“I was enjoying that lap dance…” purred into her mouth.

“Maybe you should…keep going”

She kicks off her underwear and straddles your thigh letting you feel how much she wanted this. How much she wanted you.

This might have been her stage, but this was your show.

Her hands creep around your shoulders, pulling you tightly into her chest. The familiar scent of peaches and vanilla slowly eases any unwelcome tension. Your hands are on her hips when you pull her closer. Dragging her wet pussy across your thigh as you flex and coerce a groan from her.

“What was that?” teasingly inquiring, pushing her back just to slide her forward again. This time, a little rougher than before.

Momo clutches herself to you, resting her head on your shoulder while you set the pace for her to continue on. She whimpers into you, continuing to rut her hips on you while you mess with the clasp attached to her bra, undoing it quickly to expose her chest.

“Fuck, please…” whispered, removing the last of her lace leaving her in only those black thigh high pleasers.

Laying perfectly placed kisses down her neck until you reach her chest, taking one of her nipples in your mouth, rolling it around and flicking it with your tongue. Being unable to remove your hands from her, sliding one around her lower back and the other reaching for the boob that has had no attention, completely immersing her in your touch.

Music still haunts the background as Momo’s slick saturates your thigh, feeling it drip down the sides of your leg makes the knot in your stomach build. You wanted her so badly, you needed her, and craved the closeness she was finally giving to after what felt like years.

Removing your mouth from her nipple with a pop and ravenously bringing your lips up to hers, returning to the deep depths of lust that both of you were submerged in.

Scooting her backwards off your knee, you place a hand on her inner thigh, giving her the signal to spread her legs apart enough to straddle you. Lips never parting each other, tongues still intertwined through the waltz done out of pure need.

Her hand weaves through your hair on the back of your head, teeth bearing down on your bottom lip before playfully tugging on it and letting go. The pressure of her teeth causes you to moan, cunt dripping onto the chair the heated moment was taking place in.

“How badly do you want it, baby?” Momo’s hips buck at the question, you already know the answer but watching her squirm and beg for it was a delicacy on its own.

“Please…I need you. Please. Touch me.” desperately whimpered between her ragged breathing.

“Where do you want me to touch you?” You’re trying to play it off collected, even with a flushed face and the light movement of your own hips against hers.

Running your hands up her thighs, she leans into you exposing her neck. A silent ask. Open mouth kisses trailed up from her collar bone to her jaw. She’s panting at the gliding of your hands, up and down her thighs in deliberately slow, steady movements. Allowing your hands to dip between her legs and graze over her cunt.

An intense gasp is let out from her perfectly plump lips.

“There! Touch me there. Please, baby…I- I need to f- fuck -feel you”

“Good girl. You’re always so perfect for me.” a drop of her slick falling onto the chair into the puddle of your own as your hand approached her core.

Middling finger sliding up and down her absolutely soaked slit, just to tease her. Being sure to put the slightest pressure on her entrance and eliciting the most vile sound from her. She immediately tries to slam herself down on your fingers.

“Inside…I need you inside…fuck, baby, please!” her hands grip your face, fingers tightening around your lower jaw. Panting as she forces eye contact.

“Look at what you do to me, darling…oh, fuck” losing the grip on your chin and letting her hand trail down your chest, tugging in the sweater chasing your hand with her hips.

“Can’t you feel how much I want you?” mouths connecting passionately through the begary displayed.

Momo’s nails dig into your shoulders through the fabric of her stolen sweater when your teeth find her neck, biting down and entering soaking pussy with a single finger. Palm against her clit so she has something to grind into as you curl your fingers up, hitting her g-spot perfectly.

“Fuck…f- feels so g-good…need -oh my god- more…” jerking her hips to get more stimulation.

Pulling out momentarily to add another finger, she grabs your shoulders harder, using your palm to accentuate the build up of her orgasm.

Bites and hickeys lay across her chest which is heaving unevenly, spilling grunts and groans at the touch of your finger tips. Wetness coats your entire hand, continuing to thrust into her while using your hips as leverage to hit just a little deeper into her.

“I’m gonna cum! -Fuck, please-...c- can I cum?” Panted through her whines. She starts losing control of her movements, attempting to keep herself off the edge until you say that it’s time for her to release.

“Princess, you want to cum?” whispered softly to her, slowing your strokes with each word stated.

“And what if I’m not done with you?” removing your hand from inside of her.

Lifting her while holding her thighs, she crosses her legs around you. Making out while you turn, placing her down lovingly in the chair that she had originally set up for you. kneeling down in front of her.

Momo is half awestruck and half feral when she sees you rip her sweater off you, leaving you both completely naked. You yank her to the edge of the seat and bury your fingers deep inside her cunt again with no warning.

Moaning into the air, lifting her legs on your shoulders, the latex grips against your skin, almost anchoring her in place. Your mouth travels up her thighs with soft gentle pecks and light bites. Momo’s inner thighs coated in the dew drops of yearning, humming into the love bites as your tongue dances to sample her flavor before devouring her.

One long lick up her pussy before immediately attacking her clit. Her hands fly up and grip your hair, the overstimulation causing sweet moans and curses to reverberate off the walls.

“Right there right there right there, please -fuck- oh my god” her hips gyrating into your mouth, the neediness becoming more aggressive, returning to the edge of ecstasy.

“Tell me, princess. Does my good girl want to cum for me?.” Locking you into place with her legs and pulling you closer to her.

“Please, fuck, right fucking there unghh” the wet squelching sounds her pussy was making for you had you close to cumming untouched, knot tighten at every pump into her.

Her body tenses underneath you, grip tightening in your hair while she writhes under your touch. Unwilling to let go of her, you keep curling your fingers and refuse to stop your tongue from spiraling around her now very sensitive clit.

Momo’s face is beat red, hair sticking to her neck and forehead and panting in patterns that mimic hyperventilation. She pushes your forehead from her before finally relaxing her body into the chair.

A smile creeps across your face, being sure she’s watching you lick the remnants of her cum off your fingers. You shimmy her legs off your shoulders and the sound her heels hitting the floor almost startles her out of her post-orgasm haze.

“You’re such a good girl for me, baby.” lovingly placing a hand on her cheek before standing and taking a step towards where the pile of clothes was. A tightness encompasses your wrist, pulling you back to Momo.

The devilish glint in her eyes catches you off guard. Squatting down next to her as she still catches her breath, you take her hand and sweep a piece of hair off her forehead.

“You doing okay, honey? Do you need anything?” All she can do is smile through her breathless state.

“That was not how I planned this!” chuckling and fixating on your naked figure crouching next to her.

“Stand up.” halfway barked at you.

Not being one to usually take demands, you stay right where you are. Momo glares into your soul, unable to make you do what you’re told. She rolls her eyes and with a pensive face, rethinks her approach.

Watching the light bulb go off in her head was almost perplexing. What was she going to do? Her pupils dilate as she slinks to the floor next to you. She positions herself on her knees facing you.

“Use my face, baby” sticking her tongue out and angling her head up.

You slingshot up so fast you almost fall over. Catching your balance quickly enough for her not to notice and position your cunt right above her tongue.

So this is how she can get you to listen to her?

She takes the moments to lick the slick off your thighs, trailing her tongue up before laying it flat across your aching core.

Momo grabs your hand and places it on the back half of her head. You weave your fingers into her hair and use her in any way you want.

“Fuck” leaves your lips. Smearing your slick across her mouth like you’ve never had her tongue on you. Frivolously using her like your own personal toy.

She moans into you, vibrations sending you into a spiral of pleasure. Hips grinding harder down onto her warm tongue, you are unable to keep yourself together for longer than a few seconds, untethering completely into a lust driven state.

Feral was an understatement. The ache in your stomach clenching tight for so long and threatening to release every time you skim across her lips.

Momo’s hands grip your hips enough to stop you, a hand slipping between your legs. Her mouth attaches to your clit and her tongue starts circling. Two fingers easily penetrate you, adding another form of pleasure into the already passionate moment.

“Oh my fucking god…Momo, fuck” whimpering down at her.

Arrogant glimmer in her eyes sparkle while the pattern of circles spirals on, fingers curling up and quicken in pace.

Dripping down her chin and hands, you’ve lost all control. Euphoria creeps in, sprinkling tiny bursts of heat through your skin.

“Baby, I’m gonna cum…hmmmph- oh shit, I’m gonna fucking cum!”

A flash of warmth throughout your body as you clench around her fingers, aggressively thrusting your hips. Muscles tensing involuntarily, moaning loudly and holding your breath as you cum into your girlfriend's mouth.

Gasping for air and trying to keep your balance was challenging. Struggling to keep your legs locked as she continued to lick and suck, no matter how sensitive you already were.

Wet fingers come behind your thighs to keep you up and stable, nail gripping you as she locks you into place above her. A devious look smeared across her face with your cum, continuing to harshly suck and lick into you.

The overstimulation is causing an erratic need to keep going, almost painful, twitching at every pass of her tongue.

“Hurts so good” hissed between the heavy breathing and groans of ecstasy.

Momo aggressively slurps and siphons every ounce of tension out of you. Forcefully eating her dessert while it gripped her hair and praised her. Smiling into your cunt as she ripped another aggressive orgasm from your body.

Trembling above her as she holds you up, she’s smitten with herself as you twitch and convulse by her hands and mouth.

Reaching around and sliding the chair behind you before you fall down. The powerful jolt of endorphins she coaxed out of you reeling throughout your body once more, sending you backwards into the chair as you heaved and tried to regulate your breathing.

A grin crawls across Momo’s beautiful face gazing up at you. Zippers unzipping and the clunk of heavy shoes against wood snap you back from the fucked out daze you were in.

Sighing heavily, craning your neck over to see her standing next to you with her hand out towards you.

“Time for bed?” Questioning while closing her fist and opening it again, to non verbally ask for your hand.

A soft smile paints itself on your face, lazily throwing your hand into hers before closing your eyes again.

“Did I wear you out? Come on, baby.” Tugging your arm playfully and giggling at how successful her plan was.

Groaning as she pulls, you stand up and take a step, legs still shaking from exhaustion. Smooth soft skin hits your calf and your lower back as you’re picked up bridal style.

Nuzzling into her neck as she carried you out of the studio and to your shared bedroom. Laying you down in your spot on the bed and tucking you in before taking a half a step away.

Whining out to her without opening your eyes, you put your arms up for her to crawl into. A fluttery laugh is heard from the end of the bed when you feel the covers shift again.

A warmth fills your chest and sinks you into such a relaxed state as Momo crawls over top of you, finding her place by your side and cuddling into you. Her arm around your torso and her nose buried into your neck.

“I love you, y/n. I’m sorry if I’ve been absent these past few days…I just wanted to surprise you.” A hint of sadness in her tone takes you a little off guard. She would never intentionally make you feel ignored or unimportant.

“I love you too, honey. I was grateful for that surprise. Please do that whenever you want!” Reassuring her that everything was just fine and you two were perfect, as usual.

You feel her smiling into your skin before she pecks your neck softly a few times before snuggling into you further. Her deep even breaths followed shortly as she lulled into a peaceful sleep, with you not too far behind.

[ghost-proofbaby]

It's summer for you, winter for me. Warm me up with strawberry fluff! As always, my muse, your muse, the one and only, Eddie.

Midsummer's night, because I don't have a lot to inspire you with. I'm thinking something cute but weird? Maybe some human body softness where Eddie is a bit of a freak and we love him for it. And we're told our bodies are lovely, even when they're doing weird shit.

I lalalove youuuuu. xo Rhi

RHI!!!! <3 i adore you. thank you for this prompt - i had far too many ideas for it, but ended up on settling for this one, which coincidentally feels like the most subtle of them all? either way, it definitely turned out being the softest. give me an eddie munson who just wants to sniff me like a dog. this definitely got a bit long but i hope you enjoy, my dear <3

the smell of you

warnings: weirdos in love? idk. i have a skewed sense of what is actually weird i think. mentions of death and coffins jokingly. eddie 'manhandles' reader sort of. not edited.

wc: 2.2k+

come enjoy a sweet summer treat with me <3

“Eddie?”

The entire apartment is quiet – too quiet – as you drop your keys into the old crystal bowl on the counter. The clink resonates through the air, louder than the soft murmur of the stereo static you can hear from down the hall. 

“You dead?” you call out again, slipping off your running shoes and tossing down your headphones onto the counter as well now, “Do I need to call the coroner?” 

Your tone is lilted, teasing with airiness as you continue to wander deeper into the apartment and head straight for the room you know Eddie has to be in. Like the waves pulled by the moon, there’s an incessant string tied around one end of your soul that connects you to his, and you follow it all the way down the hallway. The bedroom door is wide open, and you can hear his mumbled yell of a response without clarity before you even cross the threshold. 

You wouldn’t have even needed him to verbally respond to find him in this tiny apartment. You two could get separated on the streets of a bustling city, of a buzzing New York sidewalk, and you still wouldn’t properly lose him. It’s more than just soul ties and his gravity that keeps you pulled to him. 

Something unspoken. Something homely. 

“Sorry, what was that?” you hum as you spy him face-down in the bed, pillow muting him by the mouthful, “Say it one more time, and this time not into the pillow.” 

When he finally properly turns over, he’s a vision. Sleep lines folded into his skin and a bit of drool in the corner of his mouth, eyes squinting in irritation not at you but the sunlight flooding in through the bedroom window. Messy hair, messy shirt, messy everything. A kind of mess you just want to collapse into currently, curling up in all that he is from the day’s exhaustion. 

He’d mentioned wanting to take a nap before you’d left for the gym. Something about the summer heat draining him, trailing off as he’d rambled about how he’d probably thrive as a vampire. 

“I said,” he huffs, sitting up, the frizz of his hair becoming a makeshift halo, “If you call the coroner, request the comfiest coffin possible.”

“Why do you need a comfy coffin if you’re already dead?” 

“You dare deny me of being buried in tempurpedic memory foam? In my hour of need?” 

You roll your eyes as you huff out a little laugh, forcing yourself to turn away from him long enough to strip out of your socks. But just as you reach down for the pieces of clothing, you catch sight of the source of that stereo static flooding the room. 

Your shared record player, spinning a blood red pressing of one of your more recent vinyl purchases. The album has been played through, but the player no longer had an automatic stop mechanism, probably from years of use. 

The center of the record is probably scratched, and Eddie knows it, from how sheepish he looks when you glance over your shoulder at him. 

“Speaking of death,” you walk over quickly, purposefully, before carefully lifting the needle and cutting the static finally, “Care to explain why you’re burning scratches into my Momento Mori vinyl?” 

“I’m sorry,” he quickly apologizes, nearly flinging himself off the bed as he scooches quickly to the end, clearly fully awake now, “I put it on and thought I’d just lay down for a quick second, but then the bed was so comfy, and I thought it wouldn’t hurt to take a quick nap, and then…” he trails off, looking up at you through his lashes with big eyes already pleading for forgiveness, “I’ll buy you a new one. Swear it.” 

It’s impossible to be mad at him when he’s looking like this, inhumanely soft and easily forgiven, “You’re lucky you’re cute, or you really would be dead.” 

He doesn’t respond with words, but instead the outstretch of his hands, fingers flexing as he beckons to you. The needle rests on its perch, the vinyl left behind to gather dust for a few extra moments, as you go straight to him. 

When his palms slip beneath your old t-shirt and meet your skin, they’re pleasantly warm. 

“You were right,” you admit as his knees spread, delegating even more room for you to stand in front of him as your hand wanders to cradle the side of his face, fingers tangling in sweaty curls from his rest. Your thumb mimics his on your own skin instinctively, tracing a large arch right up over his cheekbone, “It’s hot as balls outside.” 

“Told you so,” he murmurs, smiling softly in satisfaction as he leans lazily into your touch. 

“You did,” you agree quietly, half-entranced by his relaxed face, no sight of pride in the room currently. 

He resembles a cat as he continues to preen under your gentle hand, and you almost expect him to start purring right before you find the strength to pull away, removing his hands from where they'd wandered to your lower back. 

One swipe of his finger along your sweaty spine, and you’d remembered what your original intentions had been immediately upon getting home. 

“Wai- Where are you going?” he’s seemingly brought back down to Earth the moment he loses the pattern your thumb had been tracing, the press of your fingertips into his scalp. When he reaches back out to latch onto you again, you take a step back, “Get back here-”

“I need to shower,” you laugh, shaking your head and smacking his hands away as he continues to barter, “I’m all sweaty and smelly, let me go clean up and then we can nap togeth-” 

“You can shower after we nap,” he nearly whines, finally catching your shirt between his fingers and tugging, uncaring for if he stretches the fabric. A small price to pay to have you close to him, “C’mon, sweetheart. I know you’re just as exhausted as I am.” 

You swear you meant to take another step backwards, but somehow, you end up back between his knees, “Did you not hear me, Munson? I stink.”

“Good.” 

He doesn’t give you any time to react – in an instant, he’s throwing his face forward, burying it against your stomach as you let out a gasp and immediately try to pry him away with far too gentle of hands in his hair. 

“Eddie!”

If it were anyone else, you’d probably be mortified. But Eddie just takes a dramatic deep breath in, nose buried just shy of your belly button, and when his shoulders start to shake with muted laughter, you can’t stop the smile from breaking. Your fingers are still twisted in his hair, still pulling back in an attempt to get him away from you, but he’s resilient. 

And all your faux resistance is weak in comparison. Soon enough, you’re back to melting into him. 

Only once you’re relaxed once more, no sign of trying to pull away again any time soon as his hands once more evade the space beneath your shirt to wander up and down your sticky skin without a care in the world, does he lift his face away from you long enough to breathe and speak, “I’ll have you know – I love your stink.”

“Shut up.”

“I’m serious.” 

“You’re an idiot.” 

“I’m your idiot.” 

The game of banter is cut short when he goes back to pressing his nose into your clothes that surely can’t smell good. No amount of deodorant or perfume could erase that underlying stench of sweat. Hell, the shirt is still a bit moist from it all: from the walk to the gym, from your workout itself, from the walk home. It’d been through the ringer, and you’re back to tugging him away from you. 

“I refuse to believe you like how gross I smell right now,” you reinforce, eyes darting towards the bathroom connected to your master bedroom, “I promise I’ll be quick with the shower.” 

“Baby,” he fights back, wrapping his arms around you securely, no intention of losing this battle, “You remember that time we went to the fair, and you were complaining about how you were sweating, so I tried to lick your face?” 

Your nose scrunches quickly at the memory, “I do, unfortunately.”

“You really think I’d be willing to lick the sweat off your body but be afraid of you smelling a little bad while we cuddle?” his shoulders drop as he looks up at you, head tilted, almost as if amused with the conversation, “What kind of man do you take me for?” 

“The kind that gets off on annoying me.” 

His jaw drops, putting on a fake look of offense before he dramatically throws himself back onto the bed, laying flat as he makes a fist to mimic stabbing his chest, “You wound me.”

You’ve heard those words a thousand times in a hundred different ridiculous voices. You’ve seen this scene enough to have it mesmerized at this point, down to the over-exaggerated pout of his lips and the lingering of the fist against his sternum. 

You never grow tired of it. You never will. 

“Need me to kiss it better?” you joke as you prop a knee up on the bed, following the same script as always. 

And he hits his queue perfectly when he lifts his head eagerly at the expected response, wiggling his brows a bit. “Absolutely. Doctor’s orders, in fact.” 

“Great,” you see an opportunity, and take it, “I’ll get right to it, after my showe-” 

You don’t even get the final syllable of the word off your tongue before he’s clenching his thighs around your own, knees pressing hard before he wraps his legs the rest of the way around your waist to pull you in. A squeak of surprise leaves your lips as you begin to fall forward, but Eddie is quick to break the fall with ease. Catching you with his eager hands, maneuvering for you to half drop to the mattress while some of you still lands atop of him. 

He has you right where he wants you, turning his head to be face to face with you, noses nearly brushing, “Unfortunately, the doc said you have to kiss it better now, or else you’ll be comfy coffin shopping.” 

“A fatal wound?” you gasp, nearly mocking him. It doesn’t offend him – if anything, his boyish grin only grows wider, “First, I’m smelly-”

“Again, I like when you’re smelly.”

“-And then I inflict a fatal wound upon my lover? Oh, how dare I.”

Slowly, all your insecurity of how you currently smell is simply fading. The entire ordeal has become an art of childlike, whimsical jokes – and Eddie is an artist. A professional at the dance, locked and loaded with his incomparable skill set equipped for disarming you this way. The ability to make someone feel loved, imperfections and weirdness aside. 

He likes you, even when you claim you don’t smell your best. And you like him, even when his hair is tangled beyond recognition and one of his socks is half-hanging off his foot from a nap.

You like him when he’s embarrassing you in public, tongue chasing after you with the threat of licking your sweat away, and he likes you when all you can do in response is a weak palm to his chest (that isn’t even making an effort to push him away) as you giggle relentlessly. 

You like each other on the good days, the bad days, the weird days. 

Disarmed entirely, you don’t even notice when his face conveniently slots itself far too close to your armpit as you two scooch further up into the bed. You’re more occupied with the way your legs tangle up, toeing each other’s socks off properly as he slings a heavy arm across your torso. 

“We’re gonna have to wash the sheets,” you mumble, exhaustion catching up as the two of you finally settle. 

He hums absentmindedly, nuzzling into your skin a bit further as he makes himself comfortable. “And wash away your sweet, sweet stink? I don’t think so, sweetheart.” 

“Oh, fuck off,” you laugh, unbothered as your fingers start to trail up and down his back over the t-shirt, smoothing out wrinkles along the way, “I’m serious. We need to change them soon anyways, I think I got crumbs in the bed the other night with those crackers.” 

“Bury me in the crumbs of all your midnight snacks,” he almost slurs, clearly drifting back off. 

You snort in response, relaxing and letting your own eyes shut. Matching all your deep breaths with his own, a million different last words crossing your mind to whisper to the boy you’re sure is once again asleep. 

I love you.

I adore you. 

I would like to spend the rest of my life with you, if you’ll have me. 

And maybe some of those unspoken thoughts slip out without you realizing, because he squeezes you just a little bit tighter, presses his face just a little bit deeper into your skin as his scruff tickles you. 

The only actual thought you can know for certain that you say, though, is, “Do you think they actually make coffins with memory foam inside?” 

To your surprise, even despite the almost-snores that had been escaping him, he answers in a heartbeat. 

“Oh, definitely. We’ll order two.”

[teastainedprose]

Hi !

Can you do a Homelander x F!Reader with a blackmail situation ?

For the context, someone's blackmailing Reader to leave Homelander and because of the stress she did it when he was patrolling. Of course, Homelander wouldn't accept it and try to find her but he can't. So a few days later Vought brought him a new "girlfriend" to heal the pain Reader "created" only for them to (by mistake) imply that they are responsible for the departure of Reader. After dealing with the situation at Vought, he went looking for her again, eventually finding her at her favorite spot, where she was trying to forget Homelander.

You can change some parts if you want 😁

Thanks you if you do it ♥️❤️

Listen, Anon. LISTEN! I am grabbing you by the shoulders, I am gently shaking you, I am lovingly cupping your cheek and whispering, "Write the fic." - because it's clear that you've got the plot and I bet you've been daydreaming up the story route and I need you to write it. Spit out some bullet points. Scribble out a few scenes out of order, but write it!!

As I read this ask while rolling out of bed half awake and ran off in a slightly different direction while I brainstormed in the shower and I know you've got an idea there so WRITE IT!! So I can read it

Now have something similar, but not quite what you outlined. This kinda evolved into a companion/epilogue?? piece to Play With Fire, as Vought would have plenty of reason to not want Homelander dating a canned employee, especially if she's a fat little thing. Bad for the brand and all.

+1.5k words | Warning for violence/gore, Homelander can have a little murder. As a treat. Plus-Sized female reader, established relationship, no proofreading as I was possessed

The moment his boots drop onto the balcony and Homelander strides into the penthouse, he knows something is wrong.

First, there is the absence of you. Not just the lack of your body settled on the couch waiting for him as you often are, but everything you touched. The laptop you diligently type away at while working is gone. The vibrant throw pillows you insisted on getting to make the imposing couch more inviting are missing. The plush blanket you always coiled yourself into wasn't haphazardly thrown over the back of the couch as it always is when not in service. The lack of these items now makes the couch look barren and cold. Now Homelander can see how uninviting the whole thing looks.

There are other pieces of you missing as well. The trinkets and baubles you'd purchased on a whim and set about the penthouse, coloring the space with pieces of you. The discarded books, many with notes and dog-eared pages weren't haphazardly stuffed in strange places. Homelander would check the bedroom, but he knows the closet now has an empty space where your clothing hung.

There's a buzz starting up in his brain, an insistent worry that's setting his teeth on edge as Homelander's mind races across every possible reason why you're gone. You left him. Someone kidnapped you. You finally got tired of him. Someone stole you away. You hate him. Someone is hurting you. The buzzing grows in volume as Homelander's lip twitches up, feet taking him to pace across the floor before a movement in the corner of his eye cuts straight through the noise.

The buzzing goes silent. The colors are correct. Relief rushes over Homelander as he turns to face the figure in full. You, there you are and- 

No. Homelander blinks, drawing back a step as he takes in the woman standing at the entrance of his penthouse. She has your hair color; the cut has been styled like yours, but the texture is off. She's got something close to your complexion, your eye color even, and she's wearing clothing in your usual manner of dress, but everything is wrong. For one, she's thinner. Homelander sneers.

The woman smiles, uncertain as her heart races like a rabbit against her ribs. "Hi." One word uttered and it's all wrong. That's not your voice. That's not your smile. There is no sunshine breaking across this woman's face as she looks at Homelander. Her expression is quiet and expectant, waiting. Anxious.

He inhales slowly, rolling his neck as Homelander clenches his fists at his side. The scent on the air is bitter. She's afraid. She should be.

"No, no, no. Who the fuck are you?" Homelander snaps out, across the room in two long strides and now she's gasping. Gasping because Homelander has his fingers about her throat, gloves creaking softly as his grip tightens and lifts her. "Who the fuck are you?" He repeats, barking the words out.

"I-I'm Vicky," She stammers out as Homelander eases up enough to let her breath and set her feet back on the floor. That rabbit heart is trying to burst free within the woman's chest now, beating all the louder. "Y-your er, new girlfriend...?" Her words end in a panicked squeak as the woman tries to shrink away. 

"New- "Homelander cuts off as he stares at her, head tilted to the side and lip twitching as he digests this bit of information. He swallows and takes in a breath, reeling in his rage as his mind whirls. Vought had decided to replace you. Plucked up some stupid woman who only shares a similar color palette with you, but she isn't you. This woman is nowhere close to the beautiful creature you are.

Vought didn't approve of your secret relationship. They'd deemed you unmarketable. Not the image they wanted to project for the brand. Then there was the hope that Homelander would grow bored of you. To wait out his hyper-fixation on you. The months had crawled by and still Homelander kept you close. You'd moved in, burrowed yourself right into his life as Homelander wanted. 

For some fucking stupid reason, Vought thought a replacement would distract him. As if he's a child, or a dumb dog they've swapped a toy out on. 

"Vicky," Homelander smiles and it's the smile of a shark. All teeth and dead eyes. "How lovely," A purr now as Homelander slides his hand down her neck and brushes his thumb over her collarbone. Her smile is uncertain, but it's still there as she relaxes. The rabbit in her chest calms down. He digs his thumb in as Homelander sucks on his teeth.

Fucking idiot.

There's no warning when Homelander's fist buries itself into the woman's abdomen, only a wheezing hiss as the air is forced out of her. A wet sound follows under all that crunching and grinding of bone as Homelander twists his fist and pulls it back. He clicks his tongue, releasing the woman's corpse to topple across the floor.

Homelander exhales, puffing out his cheeks while looking down at his fist in mild disgust. The red leather hides fresh blood well, but he knows it'll congeal into a darker mess soon enough. Leaning over, he absently wipes it off on the fabric of the woman's sunshine colored dress. The sunshine would look better on you while the smeared red looks better on Vicky as far as Homelander is concerned.

It doesn’t take him long to hunt Ashley down, storming into her office with eyes flashing red. The only reason Homelander doesn’t fucking laser her in two is because she’s crying. Ashley is crying and blowing her nose into a tissue as she looks at Homelander, eyes filled with regret and tears. She’s grown fond of you, Homelander realizes and that’s reason enough not to cave her skull in. Homelander knows you like her well enough, too. Ashley blubbers the story out. They’d wanted you gone. Out of the picture and out of his life. You were an uncontrollable variable that refused to play ball and Edgar wasn’t one for loose strings. A replacement had already been found and was on her way earlier this morning. While Homelander was out on a mission, disposing of you had been easy enough. It only took thirty minutes to pack all of your things, revoke your access to the building and effectively lock you out. Ashley had managed a helping hand in the form of a plane ticket wherever you wished, knowing you no longer rented your own apartment after moving in with Homelander.

It had been a plot against you, he knows this now but why had you gone so willingly? Why weren’t you screaming outside of Vought Tower for him? Why did you take that plane ticket? Something rotten wriggles within Homelander’s heart. He knows he’s not an easy creature to live with and has worn your patience thin some days. The start of your relationship would have been considered rocky at best and there’s all that stalking he did that you still don’t know about. They gave you an out and you took it.

His trip to the airport is swift and no one would dare try to stop the Homelander as he seeks you out at your intended gate. Except you’re not there. You’ve not even checked in yet. He goes to your old apartment next, eyes scanning the building for your form. Your favorite restaurant is next. Then the place that makes your favorite tea. After that he’s hovering above the bookstore you’ve dragged him to. None of them contain you. Homelander is lost for a moment, mind frantic with worry now at where you could be. Then he remembers one of your favorite spots. A park close to where your old apartment is and it’s another place Homelander has been dragged to by you. This is a spot he enjoyed. It was quiet, even in such a bustling city. He always pretended it was a forest clearing you two were enjoying the peace of.

You’re there. Of course you are. You’re settled on a bench, head turned towards the trees as Homelander descends. “Sweetheart,” He growls. It comes out harsher than Homelander wants, but he’s on edge. Why did you leave him? 

You jump, head snapping round and he can see you’ve been crying. Your eyes are puffy, face pinched in pain as Homelander’s heart seizes at the sight. 

“What!?” You stare a beat, before anger rises. You’ve always been his little spitfire. “You had me cast out! They packed me up and kicked me out on your orders! You- You abandoned me…!” The fire smolders and dies as tears leak down your face.

"No, no, no. Not you, never you!" In an instant, all of Homelander's rage vanishes in the face of your sorrow. How could you ever want to leave his side? Foolish of him to even think it. Why would you ever want to leave? He’s beside you, he’s gathering you up in his arms, he’s crushing you gently in his hold. Your sobs are wet, loud, and there’s snot on his suit. Homelander doesn’t care. He shushes you, fingers combing through your hair as the arm about your middle squeezes just a bit tighter. The weight of you sinking against him and into him is a comfort, your flesh yielding under his grip on you.

“I came home and you were gone,” Homelander whispers against your ear as he nuzzles his nose into your hair. He inhales deeply, all of the tension leaving his body as he takes in your scent. “But I’m here now. It’s okay, I’ve got you,” He exhales, pulling back enough to look down at you. Homelander smiles. You’re here, you’re safe, he will never ever let you out of his sight again.

[genderfluid-insomniac]

GENSHIN S/Os WHEN THEIR LOVER TURNS INTO AN ANIMAL

Characters: Aether, Albedo, Al Haitham, Amber, Ayaka, Ayato, Beidou, Candace, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Dehya, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kazuha, Lisa, Lumine, Layla, Nahida, Ningguang, Raiden Shogun, Scaramouche, Shenhe, Tartaglia, Thoma, Tighnari, Venti, Xiao, Yae Miko, Yelan, Zhongli

A/N: I've been working on this for a while and it got backed up thanks to finals but I hope you all like it!!

Aether (golden retriever)

It’s quite a fun morning when you wake up to a flurry of cries and laughter along with a big furry retriever pouncing on you as you just woke up.

You happily cried out for help and Paimon came to your rescue asking where Aether is, still cuddling and petting the cream colored fur as the dog's head rested on your lap.

On the dog's ear was aethers earring and you took a guess, asking the dog if he was your lover to which you got a pretty excited bark and more “kisses”.

The day is pretty much one of the best days ever as Aether gets to fawn over with cuddles and free food while you get to skip your responsibilities, running through the lands and laughing at the playful games you all played.

It’s decided that it was the result of a side effect of a domain your boyfriend recently cleared and it wore off after 24 hours but to say you were glad that it was over would be a lie.

Albedo (snow leopard)

He is a menace especially since snow leopards thrive in colder climates and naturally blend in with snow means a full day of hide and seek on Dragonspine, chasing him around and watching him observe the dancing hillichurls.

‘Bedo is of course going to let Klee pet him and cuddle near a fire if it’s cold (you get priority too), pawing at the knee for attention or to continue combing through his soft thick fur and wiggling around to show his stomach for pets.

You’re going to have to keep an eye on him as the now cat alchemist is going to try to perform experiments on himself to figure how he got in this position and with his large paws he’ll give you his best cute eyes for your help, please say no his fur almost got dyed neon pink.

Kaeya is no doubt going to catch wind of the situation and tease him about gaining a new fur coat to replace his usual white one, casually speaking about how you’re suddenly available since your boyfriend is an oversized house cat.

The cavalry captain gets a snarl and small but fierce roar as he sees Albedo get in front of you and slowly move towards him, both of you don’t see kaeya for the rest of the day and your furry alchemist lover demands rubs.

By the end of the day there will be two sheets of papers with a charcoal paw print on it and a messily done heart, paper slightly shredded but you and Klee love his gift anyway.

Alhaitham (Madagascar day gecko)

Like Albedo is a menace and uses his new form to hide from you and play games but most importantly get info that he normally wouldn’t be able to get as he’s now an ordinary seeming gecko.

Most likely he’ll find you before you find him, climbing up your back with his padded toes and smirking (you think) at your confused scattered self.

Alhaitham can’t just go about his day as normal so he does have to rely on your help much to his disagreement, wandering through the stalls and purchasing fruits for you both.

All in all a very relaxing day for the scholar compared to what he’s used to and did have fun being able to be pretty much inconspicuous, playing “catch me if you can” with his significant other.

Amber (french lop bunny)

Probably has to do with Albedo or something she ran into while being an outrider but nonetheless loves it, finally she’s like her baron bunny and adorably fluffy.

Jean gives her the day off because there really isn’t anything Amber can do in her current state and she could get hurt, you end up having a fun day to yourselves and walking through Mondstadt in with bunny amber cuddled in your arms.

You can’t help but prepare a satisfying salad for her and you, sitting just outside the city and enjoying the wind brushing through Amber’s whiskers.

The way her cotton tail twitches when she’s excited or her high hops in tall grass chasing after you, every soft small part of her is too cute.

Ayaka (persian teacup kitty)

Thoma’s going to come up to you with a mixed expression of worry and awkwardness, his hands hiding a furry pale blue moving ball that unfurled to be a kitten and according to Thoma…your girlfriend.

You’re too busy cooing over her cute cat form to listen to what Thoma was saying besides her not being able to take care of her duties, entrusting you to take care of her and watch over Miss Kamisato.

Most of the day is in her room watching her struggle to walk and fall whenever she tries to stand on two legs, not only not being able to reach items because she’s a cat but she’s a teacup cat.

She does have to admit that you’re adorable from her point of view and you give the best scratches behind her ear while she’s laying on soft blankets and weaving between your legs.

Ayato (peacock)

This is one of the best and worst days for him because he gets a day off of work for a valid reason and he gets to show off how pretty is to you. Thoma and his sister cannot stop doubling over with laughter.

The lord is almost always puffed up and displaying his feathers for you to enjoy, following you around like it’s the only possible option and occasionally cawing to get your attention.

Several times Inazumans came up to you while you were running errands and warned you that there was a very large color bird “stalking” you, turning around to see your lover trying to impress you

It was very clear that this magnificent bird was Ayato Kamisato based on its attitude and coloring but how it happened….. who knows?

Beidou (Treeing walker Coonhound)

It’s quite a shock to see the captain of the Crux fleet basking and swimming in liyue harbor under the hot sun, perking up when her nose caught your scent and shook the water off her much to the crews displeasure.

There are a couple pros when you inevitably go to Ningguang to inform her of the situation and Beidou goes right to tackling the leader with tons of wet kisses and barks, looking back at you with what you swear is a smirk or cocky expression.

As a hound she gets so many snuggles from the children and elders but her enhanced hearing and smell allow her to find more illegal deals or goods being stolen and smuggled by treasurer hoarders (they can’t hardly believe that this dogs is somehow on Captain Beidou’s size till they see you and they bolt without the goods).

At the end of the day you and her are at the front of the ship, overlooking the lanterns decorating Liyue Harbor and having your girlfriend on your lap cuddled up close to you with her head nuzzled into your stomach.

Baizhu (ball python snake)

Since he’s already used to Changsheng being on him 24/7 Baizhu going to know what to do in order to keep himself alive until whatever this is wears off but until then you and Qiqi will have to help run Bubu Pharmacy, your lover coiled around your neck to help you like his own snake as Chengsheng is around Qiqi’s hat.

It isn’t a surprise that Baizhu is playful in his serpent form, racking his brain for when or how this could have happened when he’s normally so aware of his situations but chose to ignore the reason and press light kisses again.

You take breaks for both yourself and your new snake partner who Zhongli immediately recognises but chooses not to comment on while you order food from Wanmin restaurant, going just out of the city to find some some rodents for Baizhu to snack on and holding back a gag reflex when you saw the bulge in his coils.

Whenever it’s hot out his cold bloodedness comes in handy for both of you and trailing down your body to get herbs when you cannot find them, coming back to your arms before coiling around your wrist and dropping the herbs on the counter but not without giving you a nuzzle which gets a funny comment from the customer.

Candace (coyote)

It's unusual to wake up to a coyote instead of your girlfriend but weirder things have happened before strangely enough and both of you have work to do so you couldn’t just laze about and cuddle your new canine companions.

Although now being a coyote, she can cover the area surrounding Aaru village better and fast with four legs, using her intimidation as a fierce wild dog to scare away potential threats with her bared fangs and chasing them off.

You went to work and notified people that yes Candace is okay but she was called away by the Akademiya on a mission in the desert and to come to you with concerns until she was back.

Tiredly smiling when the sun hit the horizon and you saw her slip into the village, playing around with some children before heading to you and encouraging you to brush the grit out of her fur while sunbathing.

Neither of you knew what caused this but it ended the next morning and you both chalked it up to some strange harmless magic, laughing about the fun memories while you woke up and went about your day.

Cyno (death stalker scorpion)

He’s not going to even try come up with a logical reason for how this happened but does find it ironic and is happy that he’s now the most venomous scorpion in all of Teyvat but is now terrified that he’ll accidently sting you hence why when you wake up he’s on the opposite side of the room with a book on your desk open to his species.

Immediately going to find Alhaitham with your help and bug him, pure amusement filling his heart when his colleague glared at him and skittering closer with his tail threatening to sting him. An unspoken threat hangs in the air, the Mahamatra daring the Scribe to mock his jokes without consequence.

Cyno grows to enjoy his new form as he’s just as threatening as he was when he was human and even gets more confessions as he points his stinger at the criminals neck with another Matra coldly asking him to just confess already (you’d informed the Akademiya that Cyno had been turned into a scorpion which Nahida got a kick out of but did confirm the truth).

Late in the afternoon both of you were laying on a rock in Gandharva Ville with the sun warming up your boyfriend, Tighnari had just finished examining your lover and gaining some venom from the scorpion in order to work out an anti-venom just in case but left to two of you sleeping.

Dainsleif (fruit bat)

You rarely see Dainseif because of his constant traveling but he always seems to be there when you need him and stays for as long as he can before he slips away to take care of his personal issues.

Although through everything you’ve seen with Dainsleif this has to take cake, opening your window around midnight when you heard some taps and yelping when a bat flew into your bedroom.

Clinging to your shirt and looking up at you, key details being a half mask-like mark across his face and your boyfriend's signature star eyes stopping all words coming out of your mouth. Was this your lover? It couldn’t be- but who else looked like that. It couldn’t be a coincidence.

Welp now that all your plans were cancelled since your lover unexpectedly is here and now turned into a bat for some reason but nonetheless you sat with Dain hanging from your shoulder eating a juicy fruit you’d given him and looking at you with love filled eyes.

Dehya (Bengal Tiger)

Personally thinks this is an upgrade and takes advantage of it for as long as it lasts, giving you “puppy dog eyes” to explain to Rahman what’s happened but to let her continue her jobs with you as her translator (no way she’d allow any harm to come to you) and begrudgingly agreeing to let her go.

You make sure to pack up some water and snacks (having to go out and buy some food for your tiger girlfriend) so you are nourished during the journey, setting out with a happy oversized cat purring and rubbing against you with no care of the onlookers concerned or confused faces.

All of her work goes smoothly with you having to occasionally step in to explain what’s happened and her enemies not willing to fight an overgrown pyro infused tiger with only a simple weapon.

Evening is one of the best, both of you laying down in front of the fire and stroking the big cat that’s smothering you with wet kisses, chuffing while nudging her head against your hand as you take another piece of fruit for yourself and some grilled meat for her.

Diluc (red tailed hawk)

Usually you woke up to your fire haired lover’s tight grip on your waist before he’d kiss your head and sneak off to get ready for his busy day but today you awoke to a soft chirp and light nips to your cheek by a red tailed hawk. Strangely it wasn’t freaking out externally but tried to get more comfortable next to you as you just froze in shock and looked around the room for your lover or some explanation of what’s going on.

Your feathery friend flew over to a pile of Diluc’s uniform and dropped his glove and vision in your lap, picking up the edge of the glove with its beak and trying to slip the glove over its talon. Its scarlet eyes desperately looking at you with some sort of desire only known to it and causing your thoughts to wander to how similar the bird and him were.

Eventually accepting that your boyfriend was now a bird for an unspecified period of time and calling in Adelinde to explain the situation in order to cancel or reschedule any business meetings. You carded your fingers through Diluc’s red feathers who was now on your shoulder observing the view from outside the Winery and flew out to one of the rows of grapes, picking off one with his talons and eating it with a content coo.

Both of you did have to go into Mondstat to take care of Angel’s Share where Venti cackled upon seeing the famous intimidating bartender and Kaeya was a bit more snarky fully aware of the damage the hawk could inflict. But the aerial view of the city when he would fly around the cathedral was breathtaking to say the least and he wished more than anything to share this view with you, swooping down to you as you came to the base of Barbatos’s statue with to chicken skewers smiling up at him and offering him some dinner from Good Hunter.

Il Dottore (blue ringed octopus)

As far as you know this was probably his doing because frankly it seems like it was something he’d do just for kicks and it was another new accomplishment he could brag about but apparently something went awry when the fatui agent directly under his command came running to get you.

You were about to be handed an octopus but ripped your hands away when you realized the species of cephalopod to be the highly venomous blue ringed octopus which your lover often raved about and nearly yelled at the agent for attempting to kill you before the tiny sea creature pointed an arm towards a note on the doctor’s table.

After reading the note that basically said Dottore maybe fucked up by adding a chemical he wasn’t supposed to into his recent already unstable concoction and that you had to take care of him until the effects wore off in about 24 hours.

The rest of the day was pretty relaxing given you had to carry around a full container of water that your lover resided in. It was eventful with you occasionally slipping him bits of fish and having him climb up your arm to your shoulder to watch the world from your view compared to his small one.

Gorou (Shiba)

General Gorou personally doesn’t like this new development because some people (Yae Miko) already saw him as part dog despite various attempts of him doing everything he could to just get others to ignore his canine features.

So when he woke up one morning feeling a bit smaller than usual and went to rub his face but saw paws instead of his hand, freaking out and immediately turning over to wake you up but only getting out scared barks or whines.

After almost an hour of calming Gorou down with the help of Kokomi who agreed that until your boyfriend was back to normal he wouldn't be allowed to do any work as general.

Well Gorou wasn’t happy with the situation but he came around to liking it when he realized that he get’s to spend all of his time with you it clicked and eagerly asked for more cuddles now that you could both sleep in until lunch.

Heizou (ferret)

Chaos. I don’t feel like I need to say anything else if you know what ferrets are generally like and if you don’t then please look it up it’s hilarious (also fits Heizou’s personality to a T), but better pray for the Tenryou Commission when he wakes up and get ASAP before Sara breaks her “No killing Heizou under any circumstances” rule.

This boy is so slippery even when he’s human but loves to run around you while climbing you up and down as he gives playful kisses on your face, not to mention his coat is gorgeous with bits of tanish brown mixed with stripes of vibrant red and gold along his fur.

It’s going to take more than one person if they want to get him off of you, trying not to touch you in the wrong places as the guard attempts to get Heizou out from your clothes and even if they’re successful the detective is going to nip at them so he can further secure himself around your neck.

You do love it when he’s peaceful, eating bits of fruits or grilled meat from your hand and nuzzling her soft cute face into your cheek (Heizou is going to make it up to you for all the trouble he caused later with cuddles).

Itto (bull)

Please help this man or bull who woke up so frightened that he wasn’t an Oni anymore that he crashed through a wall of your house and it took the entire gang, including both shinobu and you with the threat of Kujou Sara to get him to stop rampaging.

Also in this I imagine that he’s not Ushi sized but full on bull sized but with his signature red horns and red marking colored in his black/grey fur.

It’s going to take more than a couple minutes to tell him what’s going on (Sara already has Heizou trying to figure out what happened) but afterwards finds it pretty cool and naturally offers local Inazuman kids a ride.

You ensure them it’s safe with you going on him as well and the entire day is filled with the laughs of kids thanking their favorite Oni for bull rides, whispering comments to you about your lover’s protectiveness whenever another person gets a bit too close for comfort (like anyone would want to face off against an angry bull).

Kaeya (peacock)

This man is already cocky but now as he’s a bird know for being gorgeous and pretty, will not stop preening himself or looking for some way to impress you.

Each of his feathers has his signature star eye instead of it’s normal colors on his plumage which doesn’t take long to put two and two together, calming yourself down and laughing at your lover’s attempt to console you by perching himself on your lap (encouraging you to use his soft feather to distract yourself).

Both of you silently agree that it’d cause way more of an issue if you went out with an unusually colored peacock of all things (something not native to Mondstadt) and stayed home, sneaking out to walk among the gardens at twilight and admire the luminescent moon lighting up the path.

Kazuha (yellow ragdoll cat)

Such a good kitty he is, doesn’t panic upon realizing his new form but does have some concerns and atm he can’t do anything so he might as well relax with you until you start your day which doesn’t take long.

He’s so adorably cute and you cannot help yourself when you sweep him up in your arms, your lover is happily purring and swiping his paw over the signature red streak to hopefully clue you in. Luckily you took it well with minor panic but ultimately hoped it’d wear off after a day or so and scratched his head as you strolled through Inazuma City.

Many people flock to you and ask to pet your “cat”, commenting on his red streak and cooing at him whenever he walks around on your shoulders purring.

The samurai naturally attracts cats, so expect to be followed by a herd of cats which isn’t bad because they’re all so fluffy and Kazuha would rather nap on you when you’re basking in the sun which leads to a cuddle pile.

Kokomi (full moon betta fish)

Honestly how either of you got into this scenario is a mystery but needless to say it involved a very worried and concerned general Gorou cradling a small glass bowl with a beautiful pink and purple white full moon betta fish.

Most of the day was spent carefully resting in Kokomi’s room in order to avoid any soldiers in case they came looking when Gorou informed the resistance that her excellency wasn’t feeling well which wasn’t technically a lie although your girlfriend tried to convey that she wanted to go outside and swim in some shallow pools.

The happiness you could feel coming off her in waves as she excitedly swam among the shores of Watatsumi Island and fluttered about in between your legs when you walked in the water beside her.

Soon or later you ran with her in her bowl trying to escape Gorou for yelling at you for “endangering” Kokomi and understanding you’re her significant other but that doesn’t mean you get to steal her away (your girlfriend begged to differ).

Layla (sloth)

It fits her very well mostly due to how cute she is and her clinginess whenever she’s asleep, waking up one morning to feel a tight grasp on your waist and being a bit frightened to see a small icy blue sloth peacefully sleeping on your stomach.

You looked around to see your girlfriend’s signature star head accessory sitting atop their head, having heard to the Akademiya’s recent mess you’d believe pretty much anything and your Layla being an adorable sloth was not your life until the foreseeable future.

After locking the door so she couldn’t do any of her work (not like she could anyway), you went out to the nearby markets to get some breakfast and kept her close to you, her arms now wrapped around your neck and happily stared at your focused expressions.

Upon her request (really just her pointing at the House of Daena repeatedly) you went into the library and checked out some books in a small corner to her joy, cooing at her cute form and running your hands through her fur which she seemed to like).

Lisa (fine haired Persian cat)

You were in the library petting a gorgeous Persian lavender cat when the Acting Grandmaster bust into the room frantically asking if you knew where Lisa was and yelling that someone went wrong when the librarian as helping Albedo out with a recent experiment only to see you with the cat happily purring on your lap. “Oh good you found her.”

Obviously after the explanation that your lover had been accidently turned into a cat you couldn’t help but coo at her more than you did before you knew and cozy up in a faraway section of the library with some pillows and take a nap among the many books lining the shelves.

Napping away when the sun warmed both of you up and groaning when she pawed your face with her little fuzzy mittens, yawning as you got up to get food for both of you at good hunter and brought her back to your little pillow nest.

Lumine (cream tabby cat)

Just like Aether you woke up to a sound you hadn’t heard in a while which was a very friendly pale yellow tabby cat sleeping on your chest whose eyes fluttered as you began to fully wake up and nudged your cheek affectionately.

It didn’t take a genius to realize somehow that the traveler had somehow turned into a cat and until further knowledge so you had no choice but to care for your girlfriend, who was happily getting a lot of attention from you.

Your companions found this very amusing and Paimon did occasionally laugh at the way the traveler plays with the leaf being tossed about in the wind but quickly shuts up when she tries to take a swipe at Paimon.

There isn’t an hour where you and her aren’t connected in some way and Lumine often naps on top of your shoulders as you go about your day doing your chores, chuckling to yourself at the content purring kitty sleeping on around your neck.

Nahida (butterfly)

A/N: this can be read as either platonic or familial love

It’s not going to be easy to find her but she’ll let you know very easily via a dream and she archon magic, flapping her gorgeous green and white wings all around you while dropping small flowers on you.

Nahida is definitely going to need some help when it comes to eating and you can definitely hear phantom giggles as you cut into a slide of zaytun peach, biting into one yourself and lifting it to your shoulder where the dendro archon is perched.

There is no doubt that she’s going to lead to to the Aranara Village, introducing you to all her friends who without a doubt both know it’s her and adore you (many flower crowns were made for you that day and you brought all of them home).

You can tell just by how Nahida acts (even if it’s just flying about) that she’s happy to have another form of freedom where she doesn’t have to be Sumeru’s archon and just have fun, gliding from flower to flower that just seem to reach towards her every time she passes them.

Pantalone (arabian horse)

All you woke up to really loud noises and a bunch of whining which scared you awake and nearly screamed when you saw a fully grown black stallion worriedly pacing around the room, quickly backing yourself against the headboard and rapidly looking around for your lover but calling out his name.

To your surprise the horse looks your way and something in his eyes softens before stopping to a halt, nudging something towards you that was knocked onto the floor and picking it up to see it was Pantalone’s slightly cracked glasses.

No explanation could be given but you did have a very amusing time trying to get him out of the house without damaging or breaking anything, but the harbinger got back at you by sweeping you up on his back and galloping across the snowy fields.

You could vaguely hear happy winnies whenever you yelped or shrieked from the fast pace he was setting and would use his head to nudge you back onto his back. Anyone could tell that this horse was very prideful about its handsome appearance and you couldn’t deny it.

Raiden Shogun (Jaguar)

Needless to say walking back into your shared room only to see a violet patterned jaguar was enough to get you to call out to nearby guards and your breath fell short when you got the big cats attention, freezing in place as you slowly backed up and dropped the desserts had bought for you both.

You didn’t even have to run because it easily smelled the sweets and laid down to munch of them, nudging one toward you and watching you keenly with her tail swishing idly behind her; of course that’s when the guards came in and pushed you behind them in order to stop you from being harmed.

After a long accident involving the cat hissing at the guards and keeping you behind her, lifting her chest to show an exact copy of the symbol the archon had and sparks of lightning emanating from her paws marking up the matted floors. The message was clear that this was somehow their archon and didn't touch what’s important to her, without hesitation Yae Miko was called.

Ei was so much more calm when they left, you could feel that she was overall done with everyone and just wanted to relax with you (which you both did), escaping away to the secret garden where you hid among some flowers and napped with your lover now a jaguar purring quite happily.

Kunikuzushi/Wanderer (black ragdoll cat)

Nahida called urgently called you to the Sanctuary of Surasthana because something worrisome had happened involving the wanderer and to not panic because it wasn’t too bad, the situation you got only increased your anxiety when you ran in through the doors only to hear the archon’s voice yelling to “Close the door before he gets out!” and briefly seeing a black puff ball scurrying towards you while hissing.

The obsidian ragdoll cat uses you as a shield as he angrily hisses and takes swipes at Kusanali who is clearly having a lot of fun although it seems very stressful, thanking you and scolding the cat who she calls “Wanderer” for trying to escape when someone was trying to help him (you do a double take at that).

She explains that she doesn’t have an explanation but roughly knows what happened and most likely angered some Aranara who specialized in illusion magic to which you try and pay attention to her however your eyes haven’t left your lover’s pale indigo ones.

You go to pick him up (he strangely gave you a onceover before jumping onto your chest without warning) and nearly fell while glaring at him annoyed with his actions, the anemo user only squirmed in your arms to get more comfortable and blinked up at you once settled with false innocent eyes that you were all too familiar with.

Thankfully it was raining so even if he did get out he wouldn’t get far, so begrudgingly agreed to stay at the Sanctuary until he changed back and (much to his embarrassment) started purring when you pet him right behind the ears, looking around to double check if the damned archon was around before allowing himself to relax and wind his tail around your hand lovingly.

Shenhe (red crowned crane)

For sure is going to wake up confused and curious, pecking you awake as softly as she can and nudging you with her head to try to get you up.

At first you thought that she was Cloud Retainer and freaked out, scrambling out of bed and brushing the invisible dirt off your clothes to greet her correctly.

Upon noticing that it was your girlfriend, you chose to ask Cloud Retainer herself who also didn’t know what was going on but assured you it was temporary.

Shenhe flew across the lakes, freezing the water in spiral patterns and landing gracefully on the ice to invite you over to skate.

Tartaglia (red fox)

Him and Heizou have something in common and it’s still being able to cause mass amounts of chaos despite being non human, the entire day will be spent chasing him around while you try to clean up the messes he “accidently” causes.

No doubt one of his antics is going to be finding Zhongli and being playful but just tolerable enough to not be thrown into Liyue harbor, squealing and gekkering when Hu Tao came up to ruffle his tangled fur.

By mid afternoon you’d given up searching for your boyfriend and gone to sit by the harbor, swinging your legs off the dock and feeling a certain soft fox cuddle his way under your arms as an apology.

Thoma (Shiba)

You’re called over by the Kamisato siblings who were trying their best to keep it together and hold in their laughter while they led you to a room containing a dog that looked suspiciously like Taroumaru, noticing that he wore your lover's black metal headband and similar happy go lucky smile.

The two explained that somehow Thoma had been transformed into a shiba when they came to check in on him when he hadn’t said good morning and the only idea they had was to get you so no one else found out, asking you to watch over him until either of them found out a way to turn him back.

Thoma who’d been contently laying in your lap and snuggling against the hand petting him perked up at that sentences, barely able to contain his barks of excitement and running circles around you.

It was rare that the housekeeper got a day off and this was a strange incident but he’d take it, leaving you to chase after him through the city and coming back with some food a chef had given him because of his cuteness.

Tighnari (fennec fox)

There’s really nothing different except for the lack of control, short height, people cooing over him- yeah he officially hates it and scampers off into the Avidya forest to continue his duties. Even if he’s now an actual fennec fox instead of just being a hybrid like he was previously, a small hiccup isn’t going to stop him no matter how much Collei pleaded.

He is shocked that you instantly know who he is based on his various shades of green and blue coat coloring (not missing the hint of pink on his ears and nose) and hazel curious eyes, looking around before jumping into your arms and silently pleading for you to hide him.

You do manage to convince him to take a walk through the forest towards a small river runs and sweet Zaytun Peaches, mint, and Harra fruit grow; biting into one of them and savoring its sweet flavor before offering the other to Tighnari who happily took it.

He gives you the best privilege you could ever have and it’s cuddling him as a fox, it isn’t surprising you fall asleep with your boyfriend in your arms who is slowly falling victim to fatigue as well (he didn’t notice Collei peaked through the door and took a picture for later).

Venti (Mocking Bird)

Like Tighnari, the archon is already like a bird so it doesn’t affect him so much until you and Diluc tell him that he can’t drink any alcohol cause it might kill him in this form and he’s not going to chance leaving you behind in this world (although the face the red head made after you were finally able to convince him the bird was Venti was pure gold).

Your boyfriend never leaves your side and is able to hear all the songs that he can make as a mocking bird, including anything he overhears from anyone else and being able to mimic it completely.

He spends most of his time nested in your hair and showing off his beautiful feather pattern to his beloved, green and blue swirls painted on his brown and white wings (a small Anemo symbol placed on his chest).

Windrise’s massive oak tree provides lots of shade and roots for sitting on as you sit against the bark as Venti flutters about in the air joyously, occasionally stopping and giving you a love peck while he picks up some diced apple with his beak to nice.

Xiao (Blue-backed Manakin)

Takes the whole “fierce harsh warrior” and turns it on its head as he tries to figure out if this new form is because of his karma or just the world laughing at him, overall is very grumpy and does his best to avoid you knowing you’ll coo over his new bird form.

Light but harsh repeated pecking against glass gets your attention and you see a small bluish black manakin bird perched on the window sill trying to get out but freezing when they lock eyes with you.

You recognise the purple triangle that your lover has tattooed on his forehead and remember something he had mentioned about his previous form being a bird, putting the two together and scooping him into your hands; five minutes later both you are on the same page and will later see Zhongli for help but for now you’re okay with some snuggles after some puppy eyes (which Xiao knows he can’t stand strong against).

When the time finally arrives to find the ex-geo archon, Xiao finds a comfy stop nestled on top of your head (bonus point that he can also keep in contact with you and lookout) and does unconsciously let out small chirps when you nuzzle his chest or mention how beautiful his feathers are (which you wish could keep one and luckily enough are gifted one by him as your arrive in Liyue).

Yae Miko (arctic fox)

The Guiji does change into her fox form on occasion and when you’re at your lowest in need of comfort but never out in public where others can see her but something must have gone wrong because now she can’t transform back into her human form which alarms both her and you.

Doesn’t let anyone see her and curls up in her room as she tries to figure out what happened however you manage to sneak into her room, using your puppy dog eyes to your advantage.

Yelan (Black widow spider)

Something was scattering across your face and opening your eyes to see a larger than normal black widow spider to which your reaction was to scream in fear, throwing the spider to the other side of your room and desperately checking your face for bites while grabbing a big book on the shelf next to you.

When you turned back the arachnid was busy using it’s webbing to write something on the floor, quirking your head so didn’t have to move but you could see and becoming genuinely shocked at the sight of your lovers name being written in blue glowing silk (it’s artist looking up at you with all 8 eyes).

It took a lot of patience but you came to accept the fact that your fiersome girlfriend was now one of the most venomous spiders in all of Teyvat until you could change Yelan back but you’d make the most of it and she’d weave complex designs out of her webbing for you.

Another perk was that the hydro user could now gather intel more easily because of her new form and much to your dismay she crept out of the house to continue on her recent mission but just before midnight you felt a soft cloth brush against your face (Yelan had made herself a little bed on the headboard).

Zhongli (standard bearded dragon)

Generally alright with his new form but isn’t happy that he can’t drink tea anymore whenever he tries which only ends in your holding all of his tea hostage for fear of what it’d do based to his reptile body and Zhongli with his now obsidian black beard rather than the normal beige.

He does enjoy basking in the Liyue sun that beats down on a roof he’s taken a liking to after giving you a slip and flattens himself out into (as you like to call it) “pancake mode” to best enjoy the sun’s heat.

Hu Tao upon hearing why he can’t come to work cannot stop laughing and taking photos via her Kamera but lets you both off until a solution appears.

The day consists of you with your lover on your shoulder and walking around the plains of Liyue, more than once does he speed off to investigate a commotion and finds out he is very fast on all fours.

[theemporium]

💰 sugar daddy Carlos finally getting you to agree to spoiling you on your birthday and you come home with a puppy

thank you for requesting!🫶🏽

.

It was one thing for you to accept gifts from Carlos, but it was a whole other fiasco to get you to buy something for yourself with his money.

Though it was a miniscule issue, it had been an ongoing one throughout your relationship. Carlos could buy you the world: he could shower you with expensive jewellery, pretty dresses and the finest wines the vineyards in Spain had to offer. He could swoop you up and take you on spontaneous holidays. He could send you a different bouquet of flowers every hour of the day. 

But the second he put his card in your hand and told you to spoil yourself, you would scramble back into your shell. 

For reasons beyond Carlos’ understanding, you hated using his money on yourself. It was one thing for him to gift you something he bought with his money, he was the buffer in the situation. However, for you to actively use his money right from the source to buy yourself something? You would rather throw yourself in front of his car.

It had been an ongoing argument that spread over the duration of your relationship. It would be brought up at the most random times. Sometimes it was a few comments thrown back and forth, and sometimes it led to hours of talking it over and not quite reaching a conclusion. 

Carlos was at his wits end when one night you finally agreed to use his card for something. 

He had been buzzing all weekend. He unfortunately had to leave early the next morning for a race weekend, but he spent the few days he was away just imagining what you were spoiling yourself with. He was shocked to see more than one purchase go through, his giddiness growing with each bing from his banking app. 

He could hardly contain his excitement when he landed back home on Monday night, dumping his bags by the door and quickly making his way to wherever you were so he could see what you had spoiled yourself with. 

However, his steps fell short when he heard a bark he didn’t recognise.

“Surprise!” 

Carlos looked at the massive grin on your face, spread from ear to ear, before his eyes fell to the bundle of fluff in your arms. Chocolate brown curls that covered its entire body, the small puppy in your arms looked more like a teddy than an actual animal. The puppy was just twice the size of your hand and it hardly looked real as you cuddled it to your chest.

“You bought a dog?” were the first words to leave Carlos’ mouth as he tried to wrap his head around everything. “But I saw so many—”

“He needed toys,” you answered with a sheepish smile on your face, scratching behind the ears of the happy puppy. “Bear is a needy guy.”

Carlos raised his brows, though he was unable to hold back his grin. “Bear?”

“That’s his name,” you said, unashamed. 

Carlos shook his head as he closed the distance between you both, smiling as the little puppy lightly nibbled on the tips of his fingers. “When you said you would spoil yourself, I was expecting a pretty dress, not a pretty puppy.” 

“This is me spoiling myself with something I really wanted,” you argued, leaning up to peck his cheeks, almost amused by the way his skin flushed in response. “Thank you.

“No, thank you for finally using my card,” Carlos hummed as he leaned down to kiss you. “Even if it was for our son.” 

“It was a family purchase,” you grinned back at him.

.

[lowkeyrobin]

MCYT with a reader who would literally get into a fist fight for them?? Literally, if someone even looks at them wrong reader will throw hands. It's literally that meme (Random person) "GET YO FUCKING DOG BITCH" (MCYT) "it don't bite" "YES IT FUCKIN DO-" I'm sorry I'm feeling silly 😔

OH MY FUCKING GOD I LOVE THIS PROMPT AND THE REFERENCE TO THIS MEME LMFAOOO OH MY LORD BSHWJRHEJJAJW ; very vine oriented so I apologize. you threw me into a loop referencing that

MCYT ; "anytime, anywhere, I'd beat a bitches ass for you"

includes ; tommyinnit, ranboo, badlinu, nihachu, slimecicle, quackity, & foolish gamers

warnings ; language, talk of blood/injuries, physical fighting, vine cringe because I got very carried away and you can tell

masterlist

TOMMYINNIT

he was one of those kids in high school that made light offensive jokes but would never fight anyone over anything, he's not a violent person at all other than in his jokes

but God forbid some random person look at you two weird in public, you're on their ass

you're more offended that they were judging Tommy at all, you couldn't care that they were judging you

"sorry, do you have a problem?" You squint your eyes at the person, "me and my boyfriend are just trying to shop and you keep following us around and staring, like, can I help you?"

just a teenage Karen

yall do take it outside when the motherfucker follows you out and begins to record you

you beat this fuckers ass to a PULP

Tommy's just holding the few bags of stuff you'd purchased staring down, jaw on the fucking floor like "Oh my God wtf do I do"

he had the vlog camera on so he kinda got it all on video before he pulled you away from the person

yall sprinted the hell away bc the security guards were running towards yall 😭😭

#neveridentified

#the person admitted guilt anyways and said they were planning to hurt you so no point in trying to track yall down for self defense

#i barely know the law shush

RANBOO

they just kind of accepted that you were like this

"I do not endorse violence unless you are y/n. I can't make them un-violent. I have tried, they're a vicious guard dog now"

hurricane Katrina? more like hurricane tortilla when you enter the building

yk the free style dance teacher vine? that'll be ranboo out in public and someone will stare at them all weird and you'll glare back

"walk away, walk away" you mumble, watching the person hurrily walk away as they see you like glaring daggers into their skull

your dynamic is the one vine that's like "Oh can I have a sip of your water?" and "It's not water or vodka, it's vinegar" "bitch what"

then you'll go make angsty edge lord posts to the one bojack horseman audio "I'm not a violent dog" and insert a clip of you beating the shit out of someone in high school

FREDDIE BADLINU

you post the "look at all those chickens" vine on your Twitter everytime you see a hate comment made for one of you

you love instigating fights w people online it's the funniest fucking thing

if you don't know how to reply to some dumbass edgelord response you'll just spam the guacamole vine until they shut up

"wait, why does y/n have so many soaps?"

"MIND YOUR FUCKIN BUISNESS DAVID"

Freddie's response to your violence is usually the saxophone seal vine. he genuinely laughs everytime he sees you fighting w someone online

sometimes you'll stream it while you wait for a response and while you're fighting online trolls who've been brainwashed by Twitter

"You're gay?!?!?!?11??11"

insert the "ms keisha dead" vine and the battle is over idk what to say

fight fire with fire I guess

NIKI NIHACHU

she hates yet loves that you'd fight ppl for her

oh, someone treated her wrong? you'll be trending on Twitter for fighting the person

#y/u/n will literally be at number 1 for a week

people edit the fight too

she appreciates it though, even though she doesn't exactly like to promote violence, she'll accept it from you

"Oh, don't worry about them, they're just a little... nervous around people sometimes"

"nervous? girl that mf is SNARLING at me"

you'll see a post that's like "me when someone tries to start shit w my s/o" and reply with the "hahaha I do that" vine

when I tell you she CACKLES reading online fights with people 😭🙏

CHARLIE SLIMECICLE

"get the F off my yard!" proceeds to have to drag you away from situations where someone's actin a little funny in a /neg way

he genuinely thinks you fighting people for him is funny

he'll tell the stories on stream and to his friends like "dude they fucked this guy up, I honestly feel bad for laughing"

honestly most the time it's people victimizing themselves

like that one meme where the lady very obviously and fakely falls over that bench on LIVE TELEVISION.

he's your biggest supporter

he's the old guy from that one vine of the kid singing "Oh wait a minute mister postman" and he does the whole ass high note

"here's y/n fighting someone for idk what because they're talking to the police 😋"

you're a problem at this point

QUACKITY

you've physically fought so many wild racists for him it's crazy

he'll gladly cheer you on

"AHHHH COME GET YO DOG BRO HELP"

"Oh it don't bite"

you proceed to bite the bitch

online fights are usually responded w the purple teletubby twerking meme

"L don't be a weak ass racist pussy next time"

you fight Logan Paul for some reason??? Twitter drama mostly

don't worry quackitys there to watch

17-3 don't worry... ehehehrhahahha

when he tells you that you need to stop instigating fights you send him the "They ask you how you are but you just have to say that you're fine when you're not really fine" meme BAHDNHAHA

FOOLISH GAMERS

"YOU KNOW WHAT DUDE? IM OUTTA HERE" vine in a nutshell with you two. I can't explain this but it makes sense I swear

"whatd you do to your eyebrows?" meme except its "Whyd you fight that person!?" "I don't really know!"

Twitter fights are like "and they were roommates!" "ohmygodtheywereroomates" I swear to fucking god

you love instigating shit with Twitter trolls

when you stand up for him/reply to edgelord haters for him he replies with the "country boy I love youuuuuuu" vine

"GIVE ME YOUR FUCKIN MONEY!" vine with the law and order intro is literallt how physical fights go

let's just say some stalker edgelords tracked you guys down at the streamer awards...

HE AND PUNZ GENUINLEY CHEER YOU ON

here you go trending on Twitter again

[sunkissedscribbles]

Only Thing That Keeps Us Apart...

pairing: theodore nott x borderline!fem!reader

genre: angst

tw: mental illness, SA, suicide

word count: 1735

summary: theo has to leave you on his father's will

a/n: @inksoakedparchment i hope this is what you wanted<3

playlist: IF NOT FOR YOU – Måneskin / TIMEZONE - Måneskin / THE LONELIEST – Måneskin

masterlist

dividers by @chachachannah

You miss him. How could you not? He was your best friend, your saviour, your boyfriend. The man you were supposed to end up with; marry and have children with. How did you two end up like this? – You’re wearing the old clothes he left at your place before he simply disappeared and erased himself from your life. He left – without any explanation, a note, or any clue about where he was going.

As if he were dead.

As if your love didn’t mean anything.

Your flat is cold and empty without the sound of his stupid whistling while doing the simplest of things like chores, him arguing with the old cooker in Italian when it won’t work properly, without his bright personality he’d only let you see, or the bickering over meaningless things like what film to watch – what film to get bored of in the middle and have a better idea on what to do instead, rather.

Now that he left your life like that everything seems so dull and boring, so dark, so pallid and achromatic. Life seems to have slowed down and the once clear sky you have seen daily during Theo is grey and so overly clouded that the sun won’t shine through the thick layer.

Sometimes you feel like he was just a game of your imagination, like it has completely fooled you. But how could he have been fake? It was so real, too real, even. If you really try you can still recall even the littlest of touches, like him brushing his nose against yours in the morning to stir you awake or the way he held you against his body to reassure you you’ll be together, forever.

What a bullshitter.

There'll be no summer There'll be no spring If not for this love of mine Thornes without flowers Bars with no drinks If not for this love of mine

All the lights All the parties would just fade out Shut them down

He didn’t want to leave, but he didn’t have a choice. He had thought after Voldemort’s defeat things would be different; lighter, easier, and that he’d have a sharper vision of your future together.

Was he naive?

Why on earth had he even thought his father would get sent to Azkaban if he survived the war? Why did he think he’d get a chance to start over, with you?

He had plans, just like you.

Italy – it was his plan. He wanted to take you there, take you home with him, all the while he would have told you about his mother who he lost as a kid. He would’ve shown you all the best places and the best food, and he knew exactly where he wanted to propose to you. Hell, had he bought the ring before he got the call… The plane tickets were purchased, and his place in Italy was all set for the two of your arrival.

And all his plans now are going down the drain because of the family business.

He memorised your landline number – he remembers every time he walks past a phone booth, but he knows he has to stay sensible and responsible. He wants to tell you he’s losing his mind without you, he wants to run away from his father and the literal mafia he’s the leader of but that would only put you in danger. And that’s the last thing he wants.

But what if…

Now I know you're sleepin' Where I'm supposed to be in Wish I could've stayed Only thing that keeps us apart Is seven thousand miles, running like a mad dog Only thing that keeps us apart Is a different timezone So fuck what I'm dreaming, this fame has no meaning I'm coming home Only thing that keeps us apart Is a different timezone

You’re trying to move on – but how could you if these memories of you during Theo just won’t leave your mind?

That one time he was walking down the hallway at your place when he suddenly stopped by the bathroom. It was a thing you two used to do – leaving the door open so that you could still talk whenever either of you was in the bathroom.

“Is that blood?” he stared at you half-sitting, half-lying in the bathtub with one leg on the edge of it, a razor in your hand. His face went completely white as he thought you were hurting yourself on purpose, until he noticed the razor.

“...No?” you raised an eyebrow until you saw the red liquid along your shin. “Oh, shit, it is,” you laughed it off with a shrug. You shouldn’t have – he quickly sat down on the edge of the tub and held you an infinitely long lecture about how not to cut yourself with a razor while tending to the little wound. Little did he care that you had another leg to be done that evening.

Or the memory of your first kiss? All he said was ‘woah’ but you understood him perfectly. No wonder he went in for another to devour you.

But there was the time he tried to braid your hair. He had no idea what he was doing, and your explanation of it with your hands and sentences like ‘this over that and the other that over this’ didn’t help the slightest.

But it hadn’t always been happy all the time, either – there was a reason for him to be scared you were self-harming that night in the bathtub as you had a tendency for depressive episodes.

Before Theo, you had no idea what to do with your life – you had been down so bad you didn’t see the light anymore and your episodes were starting to get to your head – you couldn’t handle them properly and you felt like you could never get your life back from the hand of an external force. So when he found you in the Astronomy Tower with fresh cuts he wouldn’t have left you alone. You had many arguments because of this, because of your BPD.

His presence irritated you at first – he was like a lost puppy, running after you–

"Let's put that down, principessa," he stared into your eyes as he reached for the blade in your fist. There was something about his eyes, about those blue irises that were so effective of getting anything he wanted out of you, and that gaze that seemed to be staring right into your soul.

–but you got used to it after a few weeks and warmed up enough to open up to him. It hasn't been difficult to talk about your mental illness anymore, not like this, that he knew what the worst he could expect from you was. Because he showed you that he really did care about your well-being. And because he loved you, even at your worst.

Yes, he did fall in love with your worst and as time went on and your relationship progressed your mental health only improved during Theo.

You're still the oxygen I breathe I see your face when I close my eyes It's torturous Tonight is gonna be the loneliest

He fell for you. It took him some time to give in to his heart, and for you to accept that you're loveable but you did it. You both did.

He's counting the hours, the time difference – he has been since he had to go, and he can't stop thinking about you. He was a player before you, a man as well as a kid during you – but who is he now? He can't find the answers to his current existential crisis. You probably think he's dead. And you think that perfectly. His life has lost its meaning without you, no colour, no more Nirvana, no Billy Jean, no dancin' if you're not part of his life anymore.

'How could I wake up How could I sleep How could I be someone?'

So, what if...

Tomorrow, I got another plane, I'm not gonna take it Mm, instead, I'm gonna fly straight to you, I paid double for the tickets And I don't give a shit about the contracts that I signed And they can say whatever, we'll be making love, I'm fucking you tonight

Your flat is cold and empty – it's his first remark. He walks farther in, calling out for you, "Y/N? Tesoro, I'm home!" and he's waiting for the moment you run out of the bedroom or from the kitchen to greet him with a fist to his nose for leaving you and kiss him senseless right after.

He walks into the bedroom – no sign of you.

Then into the kitchen.

Where the hell are you?

He spots you in the bathtub, fully dressed. "Y/N! I've been calling for you for minutes, honey. What are you–?" he takes in your pale complexion as he walks closer to you.

Closer to your cold and lifeless body.

The realization hits him like a dozen rocks

"No, no, no," he crouches down next to you, seeing the clear and sharp cuts. "Fuck! Please wake up, please wake up! Y/N, this is not funny. Stop this... Please, baby..." he lets out a ragged breath, trying to collect himself. He lifts your hand to check your pulse.

And just waits,

and waits.

He can't let you go. "Had I not told you to be careful with the razor?" he cries out. You couldn't have died, right? You must be hearing him, must be playing a very sick game with him. No, no, you're alive. You're alive... right? He starts tending to your wounds but deep down he knows there's no point in doing so. You're not gonna wake up. He can't look at your face, he's not strong enough as he knows there won't be a smile on it. The smile he loves so much.

The smile he loved so much.

You were lost and afraid before Theo. You were happy and stable during him. But there's no after Theo. There never will be. Not for you. And you’ve known it all along.

You'll be the saddest part of me A part of me that will never be mine It's obvious Tonight is gonna be the loneliest You're still the oxygen I breathe I see your face when I close my eyes It's torturous Tonight is gonna be the loneliest

tag list: @inksoakedparchment @mqstermindswift @reys-letters @girllblogging777 @yelanare

[superhaught]

Guard Dog

Pairing: Leighton Murray x Reader

Warning(s): None!

Word Count: 1000, Part 1/?

Just a little Leighton fic based on this tiktok.

You stirred your drink lazily and refreshed the app one more time just for good measure. 

No new messages. 

You turned your phone off and sighed then finished off your drink in one gulp. The bartender swung by and cleared your empty glass and offered you another and you shook your head, saying, “just water, please,” hoping to sober up before heading home and putting this failure of a Friday night behind you. 

A pretty blonde girl walked up to the empty barstool beside you and barked out her order to the bartender while preemptively handing him her ID, then she loosely directed her next words to you, “excuse me, is this seat taken?”

“Not anymore, go ahead.”

She raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything in response as she sat in the stool and began rummaging through her tiny purse, pulling out a compact and touching up her face of makeup.

“Did you have a date or something?” The blonde asked, not turning to look at you. 

“I don’t know if it was a date,” you replied, “but someone was supposed to meet me. I’ve been waiting for over an hour.”

She closed her compact and returned it to her bag as the bartender was sliding a cocktail across the counter to her. 

“And they haven’t messaged you, I assume?”

“Nope.” You responded. 

“Asshole.”

You shrugged, “I wasn’t that excited about it anyways.” 

The blonde nodded and sipped from her drink with an elegance that was both admirable and off-putting. You envisioned her taking family vacations to Napa, feeling comfortable on yachts, purchasing a new pair of red-bottoms every season. 

The woman’s attention had been captured by her own phone, and you started to long for your bed. 

You were waiting to flag down the bartender and get your bill when a random guy approached you, carrying two beers. You rolled your eyes without him seeing.

“Hey girl, you are looking fine, let me enjoy a beer witchu.” 

You began, “oh, I was actually just-”

The blonde woman interjected, “excuse me, do you like, know this man?”

The dude groaned and slouched, “aw, come on we were just talking!”

She held up an index finger in front of him, “silence, mouth-breather, I wasn’t speaking to you yet,” then she looked at you expectantly, awaiting your answer. 

You shook your head, “no, I don’t.”

“Do you want to know him?”

“Not really.”

She nodded and turned to the offending guy, “she doesn’t want to talk to you. Goodbye.”

“What the fuck? I was just trying to be nice!”

“Well, you’re not being nice, you're being a creep and she doesn’t want to talk to you anymore.”

“Fucking bitch,” the man scoffed at blonde. 

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and sat up a little taller, “yep. Now remove yourself from the premises before I have security do it for you.”

The man raised his hands in surrender and backed away slowly, glaring at your rescuer, before finally turning and storming out of the bar with two of his buddies right behind him.

You exhaled, “Jesus… thank you for that.”

She flipped her hair over her shoulder, “oh my god, of course. Don’t even mention it.”

The bartender returned and passed your receipt to you but the woman grabbed the slip of paper between manicured fingers and spoke to the bartender, “no, please put her bill on my tab. Leighton Murray. Thank you.”

“Oh you don’t have to do that.” 

“I know but I’m going to, you’ve had a shitty night.”

“It’s really not necessary-”

“Don’t worry about it, okay? It’s nothing.” The blonde was putting her foot down and you felt completely disarmed by her. She clicked on her phone, “you were leaving, right? I’m calling you and Uber and I’ll walk you out, I’m not having you leave by yourself. He seemed like the type to wait in the parking lot.”

“You’re… that’s really above and beyond, I can’t accept-”

“I insist. Now, where are you heading?”

You considered denying her. You considered saying, thank you, but no thank you. 

“Essex College.” 

She raised an eyebrow again, “are you a student?”

You nodded, “I am, yeah. Junior.”

She smiled, “oh, wow! I’m a senior at Essex. I can’t believe I don’t know you. Come on, let’s just head back to campus together. I’m Leighton.”

You returned her smile and introduced yourself. She echoed your name back and then took hold of your hand, you thought she was just going to shake it but instead she stood up and gently led you out of the bar. 

You glanced around the parking lot and didn’t see the group of guys, “seems all clear…”

“You can never be too careful,” she answered with a shrug, “do you want me to leave you be?”

You couldn’t help but look her up and down. She was stunning. Taller than you in heels, and likely without them, too. She was still holding your hand. Her skin was soft and you could smell her perfume. She used her free hand to run her fingers through her hair, pushing it back, and you were done for. 

You looked at her lips and unknowingly bit down on your own, “No. I don’t want that…”

She smirked. A black car pulled up beside you and Leighton gestured for you to get in ahead of her. 

You squeezed her hand and then opened the car door. She lightly touched your lower back as you got into the car and it made you shudder. 

You quietly looked out the window as the car took you back to your college campus. You found yourself thinking about how it wasn’t fair for women like Leighton to exist because your hands were shaking and she hadn’t even done anything. You balled your hands into fists and sighed, not meaning to make a noise when you did.

“Is everything okay?” Leighton asked. 

You were shocked out of your thoughts, “Yes! Well, no… I mean, yes, everything is fine, it’s just…”

“Just…?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you met the blonde’s eyes, “I don’t want my night to end just yet.”