#Remus w ptsd

[itsjustfire4]

Me: *gets diagnosed withptsd*

Me: …

Me: *immediately goes to project on Remus lupin again

[an-organized-confusion]

Gymrat!Dukexiety love to cuddle and watch horror movies into the night.

Virgil is the kind of ball of anxiety where said horror movies consistently spook him and exacerbates his shitty sleep hygiene. But dammit, he loves to keep coming back to them. Call him a masochist, but Remus likes to be there to help him eventually chill out and they both can hopefully get to bed.

Remus, barring his own baseline constant restlessness, can otherwise go to sleep after watching horror movies without any additional trouble whatsoever. (The bullshit his own brain tosses at him tends to be freakier than any horror movie he’s watched, said movies gives him some catharsis. Watching them and being with Virgil actually helps the guy sleep easier.)

[thebestofoneshots]

This isn’t really a request but this came to may head at three in the morning ok Imagine like your getting fucked by one of the Marauders or all of them and yk those moving pictures they have in the wizard world image they have a whole box filled of the reader getting back shots and EVERYTHING 😵‍💫🥴

THE STASH | marauders x reader

Pairing: J.P. x S.B. x R.L x Female Reader

Word Count: 5 k

Warnings: Smut, finger fucкing, a little bit of PTSD on Sirius, pictures taken w/o reader’s knowledge, reader being insecure and gaining back confidence thanks to the boys.

Prompt: You find the boy's stash, filled with lusty pictures and they make you feel insecure, thoughts about not being good enough for them arise, the catch is, that’s THE OLD stash. (Happy ending)

Notes: I had a similar idea already in my head so when I saw this ask I just knew I had to make it happen.

♡ NSFW: Smut under the cut

You knocked on their door a couple of times when no one said anything, you decided to let yourself  in, “Rem? Jamie? Sirius?” 

No answer. 

You looked around and went to sit by Remus’ bed. He said he’d see you in their room later that night for study and maybe something more, but with study club and prefect duties, you assumed he was as busy as the two other boys were with the quidditch training. You didn’t mind it much though, their room was a lot more quiet to study in than yours, and it was always fun to see their surprised faces when they walked in and you were there. 

You were taking your book and some parchment out when a pot of ink fell from your bag and onto the floor. There was a thud and then another one and then it spilled all over. You gasped and left the bag on the side before leaning down to pick it up. You whispered a quick “reparo,” and the crystal pot wasn’t leaking anymore, but the ink was still on the floor and some of it was spilling down the wooden floorboard. 

“Fuck,” you whispered as you summoned a napkin from your bag and started to clean as best as you could, but it didn’t seem to be working, it was still spilling down into what looked like a nook on the floor. You frowned and looked at the wooden board in detail only to realize there was a section that was a little more worn than the rest. 

You frowned and tried to lift the board by digging your nails on the side but it wasn’t working, you huffed and walked over to Sirius’ night table to see if he still had his pocket knife there. Luckily he did, and you took it, pulling out one of the blades and using it as a crane to lift the wooden board.

Once you did you realized the ink had slipped inside most of the things they kept in there. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you whispered continuously as you tried to pull off the things in fear that they would be ruined with the ink. There were some old letters, some hand-rolled cigars, a few potions and then a small box, that one had gotten most of the ink. You winced and pulled it out, biting your lip as you tried to concentrate. You had been so busy with the cleaning, that you never saw the spiderwebs that covered most of the items. 

“Evanesco,” you whispered, focused solely on the ink, which successfully disappeared, but so did the small lock they had on the box and it opened by itself. You blinked a couple of times when you saw what was inside. You carefully grabbed one of the images, a stunning red-headed witch, winking at you as she bounced around, with her very large, and very beautiful breasts in full display. 

You gulped as you stared at her, she wiggled her shoulders a bit and gave you another wink. You sucked in a breath, she was freaking stunning. And probably there because of James’ fixation with redheads. 

The rest of the pictures were turned over, but curiosity got the best of you, and you took another piece of paper from the box. That one was bent in four, as if it had been ripped from a magazine. You slowly unbend it, first one fold and then the other and there was another stunning witch in the image. 

This one had smaller breasts, but she was leaning down on a bed, perfectly manicured hands brushing over her own folds, two perfectly long and well-shaped legs on the side. She had dark skin and the light reflected on her legs as she accommodated on the bed, her head leaning back with what looked like a sigh as she rolled her hand over her clit. She too was beautiful, and perfect. 

You sat the image on the side, next to the redhead and pulled another one. One of the smaller ones, only to be met with yet another stunning witch, perfectly flat stomach, and beautiful perky breasts, she was riding a pillow, one hand on the bed and looking straight at you as she bit her lips, inviting, enticing. You placed her next to the others as you pulled another image. And then another, and then another. 

Image after image, perfectly attractive witches in all sorts of positions, some by themselves, some with companions (either other hot witches or the cock of a wizard or two). You pressed your legs together, there was a mix of feelings inside you. First of all, you were a little turned on after seeing such kind of imagery. But second, and most important. You were a little upset. 

Which was ridiculous, you knew. Expecting the boys to pleasure themselves with the thought of you in mind when you weren’t around was stupid, especially when there were clearly much better and hotter witches in the market. What with their perfectly round breasts and their beautiful lips and flat stomachs and long legs and rosy cunts. You looked at them with a bit of a frown, they all had something in common, they were perfect, and you? You were far, far from that. 

Now you weren’t upset that the boys were doing themselves, you knew men needed a lot more release than women did and you tried to keep that in mind as you placed all the beautiful witches back in their box, but you couldn’t help but think: Did they also think of them when they were with you? Did they imagine the beautiful redhead’s breasts when they were kissing yours, or maybe that they were in between the legs of that girl with the gorgeous reflective skin instead of your own? 

While the pictures were meant to be stimulating, and they had been a little at the beginning, the more you thought about them, the more you thought they were so much unlike you and the more your thoughts continued to spiral. 

“Such beautiful witches…” you murmured as you closed the box, “and they are equally gorgeous men… why are they–“ You didn’t finish your words out loud, too painful to say them outside of your head. 

Why are they with me? 

You carefully placed the box back into its spot, cleaned the rest of the things that had gotten stained and placed everything back in their stash. You carefully placed the wooden plank back where it belonged and put Sirius’ knife back in his drawers. You took a deep breath, not feeling up for much and instead ripped a page from your notebook. 

“I’m feeling a little sick, see you boys tomorrow.”

It was simple enough not to make them question further, you left it on top of Remus’ bed and left the room. 

The following day, the boys being as marvelous and attentive as they were, had gotten you to forget about the stash almost completely. And things had been absolutely perfect since then.

At least until a few days later, you had been playing wizards chess with Sirius on his bed, and after he beat you for the third time making you feel both hopeless and a little dumb for not anticipating his moves –which was also ridiculous because Sirius had been a wizard chess champion– he offered to make it up to you. 

It was in the spark in his eyes that you knew exactly what he meant. You bit your lip, Remus was reading a book on his bed while James was snoring lightly next to him, one hand draped across the other boy’s torso. You knew they’d want to join in when they realized what you and Sirius were up to, and it sent a shiver down your stomach. 

“What do you say, doll?” Sirius asked as he levitated the chess board and the broken pieces to the side, inviting you to come closer.

You huffed “You think you can make it up with your little puppy eyes?” 

Sirius pretended to think about it for a second before nodding. “While they should be enough, I’m still planning to use more than just my looks to make you feel better.” 

You returned the smile and leaned closer to him, moving to straddle his sitting form, his back was pressed to the headboard and you could feel he was at least a little excited as you leaned into him. 

“Did you win so many times just so you could say that to me?” You asked in disbelief, you were drumming your fingers near the nape of his neck.

“I might have been a little extra attentive,” he replied as he grabbed onto your hips and placed a kiss on your neck. “I know how riled up you get when you can’t best me,” he said before placing another kiss, this time further up, “I kind of enjoy seeing your little frown, and angry looks,” he admitted, he was now kissing your jaw. You rolled your hips into his and he tightened his grip on your hips in response. 

You smiled, loving the fact that you knew exactly what Sirius liked and how to get him worked up, at least as much as he knew of you. You rolled your hips again and he reached his hand under your skirt, feeling the outside of your leg before flicking his hand to the inside of it. To the softer skin that he grabbed with firm tenderness. Itching his hand closer and closer, making sure to massage your skin, tauntingly. 

You leaned your head onto his shoulder, letting his beautiful hair fall on your face as you rolled your hips again, a lot softer this time, matching his pace and wanting his hand to come closer. 

“Eager, are we?” he teased.

“Shhh, you’ll wake up Jamie,” you said as you leaned over to kiss his neck. He bit his lip to hold back a moan and finally placed his hand over your panties, tracing a soft line over your slit. You bucked your hips against his hand and he chuckled lightly. 

Remus, who had been focused on his book so far, frowned and looked up at the two of you, smirking a little when he noticed what you were up to. Of course, he knew that chuckle, it was Sirius’ sexy teasing laugh. 

“Easy love or you’ll be the one to wake up Prongs,” he said, leaning his head to your ear and softly nibbling on it. He traced his hand over your slit a couple more times, and you bucked your hips again. He smiled, you didn’t see it, but you felt it against your skin, “All right, all right…” he said as he flicked his finger over the hem of your panties and moved them aside. You leaned even closer to him as he dug his fingers in, “All of this for me?” he teased as he felt how wet you were. 

Remus, who was now only half looking at his book, had somewhat of a fun time as he listened in to your conversation with Sirius. He would be lying if he said he didn’t find it stimulating. But he also knew Sirius had had a bit of a bad week, so he thought of letting him have you just for himself, at least for a little bit longer, or until James woke up, just as eager to join in. 

“Sirius please,” you whined with a frown and he smiled, letting his fingers trace up until they found your clit, making circles over it, which had you bucking your hips against him again. You bit the side of your cheek as you allowed him to move his hand, leaning in to kiss his neck again, to muffle any possible moans with his skin. 

“May I?” he asked, teasing your entrance with his index. 

“Mhm,” you said and bucked your hips again, eager for him to do his thing. And he complied, digging his finger inside and allowing it to move inside you as expertly as ever. 

“So tight,” he whispered, Remus’ cock twitching at Sirius’ words and reconsidering whether he actually wanted to wait more before joining in. 

He did not, so he carefully lifted James’ arm from his torso and walked towards Sirius’ bed. He sat right beside the two of you, a cocky smile on his face as he tilted his head to the side, “You two having fun there?” he asked, “without me?” 

“You’re always welcome to join in Moony,” Sirius said with a teasing grin as he pulled you back just a little. You had both of your hands on Sirius’ shoulders, and you were now using them as leverage to ride his hand. 

Moony smiled, “I might just watch for a while,” he said, leaning back and placing one of his hands on the back of Sirius’ neck. He knew how much small actions and touches like that made Sirius react, and he smiled as the boy’s breath hitched in his throat. He then turned to look at you, a mischievous grin on his face, he took his wand out and whispered “Evanesco.”  

Suddenly both your shirt and bra disappeared, giving both boys the perfect sight of your breasts perking up at the sudden cold. Sirius grunted as he stared, and Remus hummed satisfied. You clenched around Sirius’ fingers –which were now two– whimpered and let out a soft moan. 

But then, as you felt their gazes on you, and you felt your own boobs bouncing as you continued to ride Sirius’ expert fingers, you started to feel self-conscious, of how you looked, of how they were staring at you, on whether they were actually thinking of you or imagining something else, someone else. Maybe the beautiful redhead? The busty blonde? The reflextive-skinned goddess with the beautiful legs? The brunette with the beautiful ass?

Suddenly the lights flickered, and they were gone. You relaxed, Sirius felt the grip on his shoulder untensing, but he thought it was because you were close. But Sirius liked to see your fucked out face when he had his fingers inside you, and in seconds the lights were turned back on, and you tensed instantly. 

The muscle movements were normal, but the way you suddenly dug your nails into his shoulders was not, at least not in the moment it was happening and not in the way it was either. Something was up.

He stopped moving his hand in an instant, “you all right, angel?” he asked, a small wrinkle forming on his forehead as his brows furrowed together. 

You seemed to be lost in thought for a second, Remus noticed that too, “Yeah… just. Let’s leave the lights off today.” 

Now it was Remus’ turn to frown, he took his hand from Sirius’ neck and sat straighter, pulling back and leaning in closer to look at your face, his hand instinctively traveling to your thigh.  Sirius, with one hand still inside you –now unmoving– was brushing his thumb in circles on your waist, they were both giving you their unwavering attention, and your breath hitched in your throat. You looked at them nervously, your eyes traveling from boy to boy at unprecedented speeds and you bit your lip, and then the lights were off again. 

Once they were off, you sighed and leaned your head on Sirius’ shoulder. He felt how you relaxed in an instant, and his frown deepened. “Angel, what is it?” 

“Nothing, light’s giving me a headache,” you lied. 

Sirius turned to Remus, while he couldn’t see much, he knew Remus would probably be able to see his questioning stance easily, with his enhanced senses, at least. “You believe her?” he mouthed. 

Remus shook his head in response, and when he realized Sirius couldn’t actually see he turned to you and placed his hand on your shoulder. “Are you sure that’s it, luv?” 

You swallowed, which was enough indication you weren’t, and you lied again, “Yes, let’s just, continue as is.” 

Sirius knew you were lying, and he hated it when you lied to him, he also hated not being able to see shit while Remus could see your every reaction so he turned the lights on, didn’t even use his wand for it, and you tensed again. 

You were taken aback by that and swallowed thickly. Your breath was slightly ragged and it was not because you were turned on, in fact, if anything, you felt rather apprehensive now. You cleared your throat. “You know, maybe I’m just not feeling it,” you lied again and pulled yourself off of his hand. 

Sirius felt way too many things at the same time, he was worried about your reaction since he thought he’d done something wrong. He was angry because he knew you were hiding the exact reason; he wanted, no, he needed to know what was up so he would never do it again, and thirdly, he was upset, he’d felt…rejected. And by you, no other. 

By the time Sirius reacted again, you were buttoning your shirt up and walking towards their door. James, who had been asleep till then, was finally awoken by the lights coming on and off and the small commotion going on. He was confused, at first he thought you were just playing, but perhaps that was not it. 

But Sirius was faster, and he jumped over Remus to get to the door just as you were opening it and shut it closed. You jumped back just a little, shocked at how fast he’d moved, you were now the one with a frown, anger bubbling to your chest, Sirius’ temper had always been something you’d learn to deal with, and even if you knew it was justified now, that didn’t stop yours from flaring up. 

“That’s not it,” he said confidently, “that’s not it and you’re not getting out until you tell me what’s upset you.” 

“Sirius,” Remus said now, ever the conciliator. He’d also stood from the bed and walked the few strides left to get next to the two of you. 

Maybe it wasn’t the best reaction you could have had, but you were already pretty shaken up by the situation at hand, by your rather torturous thoughts and by Srius’ slamming of the door. “Oh, so you know my body better than I do?” you said defensively, “you would know if I have or not a headache.” 

“YES!” he responded stubbornly. “I know how it reacts when it has a headache and it’s not the way you were reacting now!” 

You shook your head as you scoffed, James was now sitting on the bed looking at the situation both confused and worried. 

“Moony! Back me up on this?” he said as he turned his face to him. 

Remus bit his lip, as he shook his head, thinking before speaking. “He’s right luv, that was not your headache reaction.” 

You scoffed, “ff course, you’d take his side.” 

“I’m not taking any sides.” 

“Well you are, just don’t realize it!” you said angrily. “If I say I have a headache, I have one and that’s it. Now, I want to leave.” 

“Darling,” Remus said as he let out a breath, he seemed worried and upset as well now, you were trying really hard not to feel bad about it, trying to remind yourself why you needed to leave. 

It was Sirius who spoke again, his lips quivering as he found the right words, “Just tell me what I did wrong, I’ll never do it again, I promise,” his voice broke near the end. He was panicking, he was terrified he’d hurt you and that you’d leave thinking the worst of him. You knew what was hapening had brought back some past trauma and you didn’t want to be the catalyst of another panick attack.

You took a deep breath when you heard him, your frown deepening as you considered your words, “I found your stash.” 

The three men went quiet in an instant. Sirius looked like a deer trapped in headlights, Remus’ jaw had tightened and you’d heard James’ gasp in the back. 

“Darling, I–“ Sirius tried to speak but you cut him off. 

“No, no,” you tried to reason, more with yourself than with him. “I get, it’s fine, you need your release time and all that, I don’t mind.” 

“Well, you clearly do,” Remus said. You felt a hand on your shoulder, it was James’. He had walked towards you the moment he heard about the stash but you hadn’t noticed until then. You flinched but missed the hurt look that etched his features as he looked at you. 

“Well yes. But it’s a stupid feeling nonetheless. I’ll get over it. Just need time.” 

“It was me,” James said from behind, “it was my idea, not Sirius’. Don’t be upset at him.” 

You swallowed thickly, not wanting to be angry at James for something so natural in men, let alone because you knew this whole mess was created due to your own thoughts and insecurities, not theirs. And now you were upsetting them, what a great bIoody girlfriend you were. 

“I don’t bIoody care whose idea it was!” you spat. “Please let me off,” you said then, leg bouncing, you wanted to get out before you said something that would upset them more. 

“We’ll never do it again if that makes you feel better,” Sirius tried. 

“No it– It fucking doesn’t, okay? It’s fine, it’s… Found it a couple of nights ago when my ink pot fell on the floor.” The three boys exchanged a look with each other, had either of them changed its spot? “It’s pretty fresh in my mind and– I just– I can’t stop thinking you’re imagining them while being with me.” 

“Them?” Sirius asked, confused. 

“The pretty witches!” you responded, almost angrily. Remus, who was in front of you looked confused, and you huffed before adding in more detail. “Beautiful redhead,” you looked at James. “Gorgeous blonde,” you added as you turned to Sirius. Then looked back at the taller boy, “need I elaborate?” 

You heard James gasp from behind. “She found the old stash!” 

“Ah, so you have a new and improved one,” you said now, and shook your head as you turned at the door. Sirius was leaning in and he had a cheeky smile on his face now, which pissed you off even further. 

“You could call it that,” he said with a shrug. 

“Sirius,” Remus said calmly again. “Don’t.” 

But Sirius just smiled instead, “Oh but, I’m impressed. Our lovely angel was jealous.” 

“I was not.” You said flatly. “Get off the door, please,” the last part was much more of a beg than a demand. 

Sirius shook his head, “not until you see the new stash.” 

Remus and James exchanged looks after that, not even sure if they should or shouldn’t stop Sirius. 

“I don’t want to see the witches you use to wank off now, it’s enough with the images already in my head. Can’t stop thinking of them, of you thinking about them when you’re looking at me.” 

Sirius’ face fell instantly, his teasing stance almost faltering but not his determined blockage of the door. 

“That’s not–“ 

“Have you considered perhaps it was the other way around?” Remus asked as he placed a slightly hesitant hand on your shoulder. 

“What?” 

“That we imagined you when looking at them.” 

You were taken aback by that. No, you hadn’t considered that. “What about the redhead, can’t tell me she wasn’t there because of James’ old obsession with Evans?” 

James sighed, it was. That’s why they had to get a new stash. 

“She needs to see the new stash,” Sirius said while looking at the two other boys. 

“I don’t think that’s a great idea,” James intervened, it had been his idea after all, and he had admitted it to you now. He didn’t want to have you get mad over something else, and this time your anger would be indisputably justifiable. 

“I think it is,” Sirius insisted. 

You sighed, “you can continue deciding if you’re going to show me your new fuckable witches or not a different day. Sirius, get off the door.” 

He shook his head and turned to James, “Please?” 

“I don’t want to see them! Enough is enough!” 

You turned to the side to try and find another exit when you bumped into Remus, he had a box in his hand. He raised it a bit, you knew what it was instantly. 

“Remus!” James complained and went to get it but was hastily stopped by Sirius who got in the way and trapped him in his arms. 

“Prongs behave!” He said sternly. 

The path to the door was free now, but Remus’ serious stance made you curious, even more when he moved his finger to his lips and bit hard enough to draw bIood. 

“What the fu–“ 

“It’s so no one can open but us,” he explained. “We bIood charmed it.” 

You looked at him with a shocked face, you didn’t think they’d go to such lengths to hide their spicy stuff, what the hell did they even have there?

Some of the metal hinges at the top moved around a little bit, looking almost like a miniature Gringotts vault, and then it snapped open. Remus pushed it your way. You looked at the three boys before picking the first image up. It was Remus, shirtless Remus on the day you’d gone swimming at the Potter’s last summer. He was pulling his hair back and water glistened all over his torso, he looked at you and winked, before turning to look at something else. 

You gasped and pulled another picture, it was James and Sirius, both also shirtless, and they were making out under a tree. Sirius had his leg in between James’ and was leaning onto him rather intensely. 

The next one was you, you had the swimsuit you’d bought that summer, the one you thought looked really good on you, and you were on your knees, looking for something on the sand, your ass was slightly prompted up and the picture was obviously focused on that. You swallowed thickly and went to grab another one. 

You again, this time while making out with Remus, his hand was on your ass and you had realized they were taking a picture, looking at the camera with a diverted gasp before covering the lens with your hand. 

You took another one, and this time around you were genuinely shocked, it was Remus, being blown by James. His pinky pretty lips wrapped around Rem’s cock. “Oh, wow.” 

James frowned, he knew what else there was in there and he wasn’t sure if he wanted you to see it, he had never felt worse about his own ideas than now. Responsible, he knew he had bertrayed you, in a way. You took the next picture and stared at it for a minute. 

It was you again, well, you’re back at least. You were riding Sirius, moving back and forth over his cock as he helped you, hands on your waist as he bit his lip. You didn’t see your face, but you knew it hadn’t been that long ago. If Sirius’ new tattoo was any telling. 

You looked at the boys shocked, you hadn’t even realized they’d taken the picture, but you looked as pretty as any witch in the other photos, how had they gotten you to look so good? 

They hadn’t done anything, it was just you. 

“You don’t have to–“ James started, but you had already picked up another picture.

“Shut up,” you said simply.

 You again, this time you were sprawled on the bed with a blindfold on your head. That had been on your birthday. James had one of his hands on your leg, dangerously close to your slit while Sirius was kissing your breast and sucking at your nipples. 

And there was more, a lot of pictures from that day, all in compromising positions. Some involving you and the boys, some involving only the boys on different occasions, some you remembered, some in which you hadn’t even been present. There was even one of Sirius wanking off to the picture of you in the swimsuit you had seen earlier. 

“I’m sorry–“ James said, now sounding distressed and shaking Sirius off him. “I’m sorry angel, we should have never done it.” 

You grabbed another one of the photos, it had clearly been rushed, the camera being hidden as you turned your head to look at the boys, this time around you were kneeling on the bed, and James was jerking himself off to you, teasing your entrance before pulling out completely and allowing his cum to fall over your ass and back. 

“You’re right.,” you said as you placed the pictures back in the box, expression neutral. “You should have never done it without asking me–” James swallowed. 

“Love I–“ 

“James, shut up!” you said again, giving the pictures another look. “You should have never done it without asking me first,” you said as you flipped through some more pics and tsking. “I would have helped.” 

James’ jaw dropped, and you looked at him with a cheeky smile. Sirius was looking at you proudly and satisfied with his choice while Remus stared at the picture you had in your hand. The one where you were getting a back shot but was shaky and blurry because the camera had been hidden before you saw it. 

You moved the picture up, holding it between your fingers as you displayed it to the boys, “What do you say we recreate this one, but with better quality?” 

Sirius scoffed a laugh and smiled. 

“I’ll get the camera,” Remus said simply.

James was still stunned, and you leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his lips. Sirius leaned from behind and kissed you on the cheek “I told them you should know about it from the beginning but they said you’re too pure for it.” 

You laughed at that, “you boys keep calling me angel,” you said as you turned to Sirius and wrapped your hands around his neck, “but I wouldn’t have done all the things I have with you all if I wasn’t the exact opposite,” you added with a smirk.

Want to support me? Like and reblog this post. Comments are my life fuel, so send them out if you have any.

This one might get a part two, if you guys wanna see that <3

Raead more Marauders Fiction

[mrstellmeafuckingsecret]

pls pls pls pls pls yap about ur opinions on fanon and the absolute slaughter that has happened to some of these characters!!! oml pleaseeeeee! i'm dying to hear someone who agrees with me cuz so many ppl just don't get it!!!!!!! babe i'll take anything!!!! fanon!remus slander, love it, fanon!regulus slander, live for it, fanon!sirius slander, NEED it!!! if you're feeling really in the mood, maybe marlene?? literally just yap and im yours!!!!!!!

HI ily OKAY SO!!!

fanon remus fuck him man he's so annoying i hate everything about him but TODAY i will be talking about his backstory im sorry its so !!! UGH. so much of the marauders fandom makes him either an orphan (atyd)/give him severe daddy issues and i hate that ?? so much ???

he suffered a lot canonically thru his childhood, but people erase that and give him these new issues that dont go well w his character (at least in the way i've seen it done).

do people not understand having a very lonely childhood + being discriminated against x2 + having low self esteem + etc can give you long term consequences??? do they think the only way one can have trauma/ptsd/etc is if they got beat by their dad?? probably !!! so @ marauders fans fuck you !!! other problems exist lmao they're just not as romanticizable

fanon AND canon regulus. I HATEEE HIM. I DESPISE HIM. I CANNOT. i cannot rant about him rn. it's like 9am and im trying to have a good day.

fanon sirius my bby what did they do to you ☹️☹️☹️

i cant even hate him bc i just feel so bad for him every1 litr hates him+bullies him sm like he doesnt even do anything and like that must be so triggering and annoying and ugh ily bby

but like rant right SAWR

i actually do NOT understand why sirius was changed sm in fics ?? like you could just shittily simplify his char to remus fanon or morally grey bf or smth and thats infinitely hotter+more accurate ??? idk !!!! ive ranted abt him a lot so idk what to yap abt rn IM SORRY ily

MARLENE !!!!!!!!!!!!! marlene. ok i hate her fanon. like fr. why is she the token mean lesbian like ho get a life. her only traits are gay gay & gay and bfr we see the problem w that right. like ugh. + i never see any discrimination she has to face ?? which is weird esp since beabadoobee is a lot of people's fc of her? and shes gay ?? i feel like when u have a char thats just a blank slate you can do sm w it but the marauders fandom just turned her into npc number 14 like fuck u man

[saintsofthestarfield]

does anyone have the link to the fic where sirius and regulus move to a small magical village remus and hope live in and remus is a preschool teacher and regulus is super young and sirius ran away w regulus and they have insane amounts of PTSD…

the author might’ve taken it down but ive lost the link and im so sad ab it now

[tortoisebore]

i just know these next two chapters are gonna be so worth the wait and all your hard hard work is gonna pay off !!! you’re writing is soso good because you care !!!! and sometimes when we care a lot, we struggle just as much !!! but it’ll be worth it in the end !!! ily and your writing so much and i’m so excited for what you have in store for us :)

this is so nice i’m 😭😫🫶💖💞🤲💓🫶

thank u for saying this!!!! i’m not a writer by any means, i just do this for fun, so it is always hard on some level but it’s been particularly hard to write remus’ chapter!! it’s like……,piecing together his entire life and detailing his past enough that who he is in the present becomes more clear & we can finally understand his motives in the entire story leading up to this point…….within like 10,000 words fhfhfhffhfh and i do care so i do wanna do it right but it just…..,won’t come out fhfhffh

and first draft writing is always bare bones and kinda bad but this first draft feels particularly bare bones. like i’m having trouble finding remus’ voice outside of the part of the story we’ve already covered ughhhdhhthrh i’m gonna k*ll him before it’s all over i swear he’s on my last nerve rn

on the other hand sirius is working w me wonderfully like he’s somehow being easy breezy beautiful while we write like 10k words of childhood trauma & ptsd & severe attachment issues 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

but it’ll all work itself out soon and it will be worth it!!! i love them so much i cant wait for u all to read all about their lives before they found each other 💓🫶💖💞🤲✨💖💞

[2ndfamily]

can u please talk about ur hope lupin headcanons…

YAY why yes of course i can 😼 welcome to my twisted mind..... This is long asf im sorry LMFAO

Basically i have this huge story in my head for her where she was this like young poor muggle with dreams of being a scholar and studying literature but was fairly difficult for her being poor and a woman in the 50s/60s so shes kind of resigned to the fact that this will probably never happen for her, but still does what she can to save money and read as much as possible, etc.

Enter lyall 😯 i think at the point that they meet he is maybe in his early 30s and she is like 19ish (so theres already a power dyanmic + i see him being a pureblood wizard w little to no contact with muggles up to that point) and i think he just becomes like totally enamored with her and her intelligence and promises her all these incredible things, since hes already working for the ministry at this point and is doing well for himself financially, and not only offers to help her pay for her studies but opens her up to the wizarding world, essentially giving her a whole new universe to learn and be curious about. So she obviously falls head over heels for this strange curious man and all the things he wants to do for her, and thus of course says yes when he asks to marry her.

This is where things start going down hill lmaooooo. Hope becomes sort of estranged from her muggle family when they get married because they cant understand Lyalls eccentricities and think shes crazy for marrying him. Now hope and lyall are also both going into this marriage with different motivations, hope is wanting financial security and a partner who will challenge her intellectually, someone who will help her with her studies. Lyall wants a wife. So when hope gets pregnant lyall decides that they should put her studies on hold to focus on the baby. I dont think hope ever really seriously envisioned herself having kids before this point, but agrees even though she's mourning having to put off her education.

So hope becomes a stay at home mom. While she absolutely loves remus with all her heart, i do not see motherhood coming easy to her. I think post partum hits her pretty hard, and things just go from there. She doesn't understand children shes exhausted lyall is always at work and hes so stressed about the damn werewolves and remus just wont go to sleep and she hasnt read a book in a month. (And i think the timeline on this is very fast like they meet when shes 19 get married and then shes pregnant at 21)

And by the time remus gets bitten the one thing she knows more about than anything else in the wizarding world is werewolves. So shes terrified. And then lyall kills himself or abandons them or whatever hes just not in the picture. I think at this point she developes some serious anxiety/ptsd type stuff like not only did a dangerous criminal break into her home in the middle of the night but also attacked her child in his bed and changed him irreparably and now shes all alone. And theres almost nothing she can do for her son, she can only lock him up once a month acutely aware of the amount of hatred hed face from wizards, how it looks to the neighbors to hear that kind of screaming in the middle of night, etc. and i think she never tries going to wizard officials for help just because shes so terrified of the idea of them trying to take remus away.

All the money shed saved for her education goes towards all the moves she and remus end up having to make to keep from questioning neighbors. When remus is about 7/8 hopes parents die and she inherits their discreet cottage in rural wales, with a large cellar, where they make their permanent stay. I think things do look up for her around this point like she and remus are very very close, being the only people that the other has, and she homeschools him and they acrew a very large collection of second hand books and anthologies and theyre ok.

I do think she and remus have a very complicated relationship with one and other largely maintained by both of their inabilities to talk about their issues. Remus can never really forget the image of how absolutely wrecked his mother was in the months following his being bitten, and blames himself for her never being able to fully realize her dreams. Shes still endlessly paranoid about anyone finding out remus is a werewolf, and never fully works through how everything affected her or her complicated resentful feelings toward lyall.

There is sooo much gut wrenching fear in her when remus is offered to attend hogwarts but more than that she still feels that bone deep regret about not being able to fully pursue her academic dreams. She couldn't do that to her son too even though it kills her. She still holds a lot of resentment and distrust toward wizards from what she went through and from what she learned about the ministry through lyall, but she wont let herself be the reason that remus doesnt get to pursue his ambitions the way she never did.

Shes just a really complicated person whos constantly caught between her nature (curious, ambitious, intelligent, driven) and her trauma that makes her soooo paranoid and scared. Which sometimes makes her a bad mom. But shes doing her best ok

Me talking about the character that i made up almost everything about

[impishglee]

if harry had been raised by remus and/or sirius it like obviously would have been better than the dursley’s but i also wonder what different ways harry would be fucked up

[delimeful]

something hateful on our minds (1)

warnings: g/t, fearplay, misunderstandings, PTSD, brief references to murder/enslavement/ect., angstish with a happyish ending?

-

Roman held his thumb out, studying the spacing of the paint spread out on the huge plywood board in his backyard. He was itching to start, but the artist in him wouldn’t allow for sloppy placement, even if his current composition mostly consisted of archaic runes.

The summoning circle before him had been mostly freehanded, since he was using such a limited canvas. Most of the books were very firm about the idea of using a solid floor in a spare room, but Roman’s apartment was rented and he was not about to lose his whole deposit for one experiment. That was Remus behavior, and he had standards, thank-you-very-much.

Instead, he’d gone and bought the largest available plywood panel he could find at the nearest Home Depot, which measured about four feet across on its shortest side.

He’d had to switch to a different, half-faded design in the back of a dusty old tome that included an extra inner circle with a size-adjusting spell– apparently most demons manifested rather large, going by how big a lot of the other summoning circles were– but he wasn’t too put out about it.

It wasn’t like he was picky about which demon he was summoning when he had no intention of actually selling his soul or anything.

Satisfied that the runes met his exacting symmetry standards, he grabbed a matchbox and got to work lighting the candles set around the circle, humming to get rid of his nerves as he went. It didn’t help much– in the dull candlelight, the red paint glistened like spilt blood.

Roman swallowed, resisting the urge to shiver. No wonder his brother had been so into this.

Still, he wouldn’t back down now! He’d already practiced the new, needlessly complex incantation as much as any Shakespeare monologue, and so the chant rolled easily off his tongue.

His excitement began to rise as he noticed the lines of the circle glowing like fresh embers, the smell of burning wood rising and the candles guttering against a sudden sharp wind. Definitely a good thing that he hadn’t done this in the apartment– he never would have gotten the seared symbols out.

Still, it was working!

Roman was grinning smugly, his magic flaring brighter as the spell continued, already envisioning the boasting ahead of him, when things went wrong.

Abruptly, the drain on his magic grew heavier, and the circle’s several rings, which were now glowing a near-incandescent white, began to shift before his eyes, the structure unfolding and reversing layers to give the spell an entirely new meaning.

He attempted to cut the spell off, alarmed, but it had already taken what it needed from him, and continued to expand until it had left the plywood entirely, the half-dead grass of his backyard flaring up and shriveling into ashes wherever it touched.

The bright lines didn't burn his feet as they passed under him, but he almost wished they had as he realized that now he was the one in the circle, a place no summoner should ever be.

Roman couldn’t move, unwillingly frozen in place as the spell hummed furiously around him, building up more and more until– with a pop like a submarine hull giving way under water pressure– it snapped, whiting out his vision and whisking him away from everything he’d ever known.

For a moment, his mind was blank, unable to grasp the rift he was being tugged through, and then–

Light. That was the first sign something was deeply wrong. The backs of his eyelids were red-orange, illuminated from the outside, even though he’d been standing out in the dark at 3 AM moments before, and he knew for a fact that the shitty light bulbs in his apartment couldn’t ever cast such a warm, bright glow.

The second and more telling sign that something was deeply wrong was that when he opened his eyes, blinking heavily to adjust to the sudden change, he could see the grain of the floorboards that his circle was glowing on as though he was inspecting them with a magnifying glass.

Looking up, he found that it was no strange design choice or optical illusion; everything was huge. The floor, the furniture, even the walls towered up like he had entered the same world as the titular protagonist of Jack and the Beanstalk. He stumbled forward, trying to understand how the floorboards beneath him could stretch out so far.

There was a wooden pillar a handful of meters away. Heart pounding, Roman craned his head back to stare up at a bookshelf where every book was taller than him, his eyes catching on the books’ spines, where some very familiar runes resided. A foreboding chill ran down his spine.

“There’s no way,” he attempted to deny his insane theory out loud, and something about the way his voice didn’t carry in the vast empty space of the room made him feel very small, in more ways than one.

Distantly, there was a series of noises, familiar in nature but unfamiliar in size: a door being unlocked and swung open. Sharp clacks and heavy vibrations that carried stronger and stronger through the floor, like the world’s largest–

“Footsteps,” Roman whispered, aghast, and then dove for cover.

-

Janus felt frozen, staring down at the glowing lines crisscrossed along his hardwood. He kept his face completely impassive as his eyes traced the tiny details finding familiar runes— containment, imprisonment, enforcement.

His hands slowly curled into fists, the sting of his claws biting into his palms keeping him grounded in the present moment.

Because that was all they were: memories. He was still safe in his home, because the human who’d somehow found a copy of his summoning signature, the one who’d tried to drag him back under their thumb, hadn’t been able to cast it properly.

A coward, most likely, one who wasn’t willing to sacrifice everything to use Janus’s power to the utmost.

Humans had plenty of tomes about demons, detailed records of arcane rituals and scrawled journals full of personal accounts of the occult. Nearly none of them made note of that fact that intention alone could be the most vital part of a summoning, especially if the circle had a history steeped in death and misery.

Magic like this was malicious and twisted. When a caster didn’t live up to its standards, the consequences were… severe, to say the least.

Transporting an undefended mortal into the living room of a demon they’d just tried to enslave, for example.

Janus closed his eyes and took a deep breath, searching out the new element amidst the familiar array of scents in his home.

It wasn’t hard. Even if he hadn’t been summoned before, nearly any demon could pick out the smell of a human, which was why nearly none of the ones who slipped through to their dimension stayed undiscovered for long.

Some considered them a delicacy.

“It seems like I have a guest,” he purred, allowing the heels of his shoes to click sharply against the floor as he slowly began to circle through the room. “Won’t you come out, little mouse?”

There was no answer, predictably enough, but the air was tense with the presence of another.

Janus let his gaze drift over each corner and cranny, as though waiting to catch sight of a tiny, telling shadow. Nothing at first glance; the human must have had a few moments to squirrel themself away before Janus had entered.

“How rude,” he commented with a click of the tongue. “You show up here uninvited and have the gall to hide from your host? Careful, I might get offended.”

On the last word, he supplemented his threat by allowing a low, hair-raising rumble to bubble up from his chest. With the phantom wound of his last summoning still freshly reopened, it wasn’t difficult to allow his more threatening features to come to light.

Still no response, but in the silence, Janus could just barely make out the tiny, shallow breaths of his would-be summoner. His lips upturned slightly as he turned towards the left side of the room.

“Am I more than you were prepared to deal with?” he asked, overly saccharine. “Didn’t you read the fine print on that nasty little spell you failed to cast? Did you know what it was at all?”

He paused. With some humans, the condescending tone and implication that they weren’t as smart as they believed was enough to bait them out into the open.

Nothing. Not a peep. That was alright; Janus was patient.

“Allow me to explain,” he offered, letting the faux kindness leak out of his voice bit by bit, each word colder than the last. “Summoning circles, like the one you just burned into my acacia floorboards, target demons. They force us into a form that's better-suited for your pathetic little world. Part of that spell is designed to crush a demon down, make us so much less than we are, just so we can be bound to the command of a creature that’s worth less than the dirt under our feet.” He brought his next step down harshly for emphasis. The human’s next exhale came out as more of a squeak.

“It hurts, little mouse,” Janus told them, a bit of raw honesty leaking into his voice. “It hurts like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. And you were going to do that to little old me, tsk tssssk.”

He let his tongue flicker out, confirming what he already knew. His feet came to a slow halt next to his favorite bookcase, a heavy wooden thing that was nearly wedged into the corner of the room. The breathing went abruptly quiet.

“Maybe,” Janus proposed silkily, “I should show you how it would feel?”

He dropped into a crouch, and with a single smooth motion, swiped his hand into the space under the bookcase.

His fingers closed around a tiny, warm form with little regard for the short shriek it let out, or the way it cut out once his grip tightened.

The human had planned to do much worse to him.

He lifted the little monster up to eye level, relishing in the way it had gone pale and washed out with fear at the sight of him. At this diminutive size, it was as much a threat to him as he’d been to his first summoner, young and confused and above all bound.

“There you are,” he said, letting a slow, vicious smile spread across his face.

—

Roman heroically resisted the urge to pass out, the bruising grip around him not helping in the least.

The warnings in those stupid books had understated everything. The demon was huge, matching the decor perfectly, but more than that, he was monstrous.

The eyes staring down at him were a reptilian green, the slit pupils sitting stark and inhuman against them. Rigid golden scales covered his skin in thick patches, dark horns curled up in sharp points on his head, and the seams stretching from the edges of his mouth were distinctly snakelike in nature.

The demon smiled in a very unfriendly manner, baring fangs that looked longer than his entire forearm. Definitely a snake. And he’d called Roman ‘little mouse,’ which didn’t bode well at all.

The demon shifted backwards to sprawl elegantly in a chair, his grip on Roman loosening enough for him to clearly feel the air rushing past him as he was moved around above a fall that would shatter every bone in his body.

His terror spiked up another few notches, which he hadn’t thought was even possible. A new achievement for the day, right alongside ‘accidentally summoned himself to the demon dimension’ and ‘probably about to die horrifically’.

“So,” the demon started, propping his chin up with one hand to consider him with that eerie gaze. “What was it?”

“What?” The question slipped out mindlessly, his voice at a considerably higher pitch than usual.

He thought his confusion was perfectly fair, given the incredible vagueness of the question, but his captor didn’t seem to agree going by the sigh. Roman didn’t even have time to brace himself before the fingers around him nimbly shifted, turning him upside down with the same vague idleness one would fidget with a pen. The thought made Roman’s skin flush red with humiliation, and also with all the blood that was currently rushing to his head.

“The reason for your current predicament,” the demon clarified unhelpfully. Roman stared blankly at him, trying to come up with an answer that wasn’t ‘uh, you mean you?’ for long enough that he finally elaborated further: “Why did you try to summon me?”

Clearly irritated, the demon’s horrifying croaking growl– like the rumble of a crocodile– began to rise in volume, making some small, primal part of Roman’s brain want to curl up or skitter away.

Seeing as he was currently upside down and pinned to a demon’s palm, utterly trapped, he didn’t have the luxury of either.

Instead, in true Roman fashion, he opened his mouth and started babbling the first thing that came to mind.

“My sincerest condolences for imposing, I just– wanted to see how beautiful you were! In person!”

The demon raised the scaled ridges that he was pretty sure were eyebrows in what looked to be genuine incredulity, the first expression Roman had seen so far that didn’t make him feel like he was about to become a victim right out of The Most Dangerous Game.

It wasn’t entirely a lie, if he really thought about it: he had wondered how hot demons were, in a secretive, Remus-can-never-know kind of way.

“Is that so?” the demon in question drawled, his eyes narrowing intently. The pads of his fingers pressed down on his chest a little firmer, forcing what felt like half the air from his lungs.

“It is so so,” Roman managed through gasps, trying to appear earnest and eloquent past the dark spots that were beginning to dot his vision. “I’ve– I’ve heard legendary rumors from near every corner of the world about your grace and charm. It has occupied my every thought!”

That wasn’t true by any stretch of the meaning. He’d only found the tome with this demon’s circle out of sheer dumb luck (the bad kind, apparently) and unlike some of the other circles, there were absolutely no mentions of it online. What little had been written down legibly in the actual passage made no mention of grace or charm, being mostly full of metaphors about two-headed vipers and the highest positions being the most fatal ones to fall from.

… Those may have been warnings, now that he was thinking about it.

For a moment, the demon’s lip began to curl up, showing off even more of those fangs, but then he seemed to reconsider, tilting his head slightly as he flipped Roman back right side up. “Please, do go on.”

Roman hesitated for a fraction of a moment as his dizziness faded, astounded that his desperate ploy had worked, and then decided to embrace it. If the giant snake demon holding him captive wanted flattery, who was he to disagree?

It wasn’t like it was particularly hard to find things to compliment. The demon may not have looked particularly human, but Roman had been an avid Beauty and the Beast fan since forever. Perhaps even more helpful, he had been exposed to Remus’s musings on monsterfucking since birth.

“The rumors didn’t do you justice!” he announced grandly, because that passage really, really hadn’t. “I can see now that it would be utterly impossible to know the fullest extent of your beauty without an in-person appearance. Your eyes are like the richest mosses, your horns are dark silhouettes of elegance, and your scales– why, I doubt words could do them justice!”

The demon idly lifted him up to eye level, an amused challenge in his gaze. “Try anyways, since you fancy yourself a bard.”

Roman gave a faux-offended huff, trying not to cling too hard to the unsecure grip around him. He hoped he wasn’t sweating visibly. This was far closer than he ever wanted to be to teeth that sharp in a mouth that large.

“Fine then, I will!” He looked closely at the scales in question, and it wasn’t actually particularly difficult to see the beauty of them. “To start, it’s clear to anyone with eyes that they have a superior shine to any dragon’s hoard or the greatest miser’s gold. They look as smooth as riverbed stones and as strong as diamonds, outmatching any stone no matter how precious. The color of them is like fresh honeycomb and the golden hour– you know, honestly, they go quite nicely with your eyes!”

He’d gotten a bit too familiar at the end, falling into habit as though this was one of the long complimentary spiels he usually lavished upon his friends rather than a last-ditch attempt to not have ‘crushed like a bug’ on his epitaph. The demon stared at him for a long, silent moment, all traces of expression wiped from his face, and Roman began to rethink this plan.

“Or, I suppose you’re a demon, and human compliments are beneath you? Perhaps you’d be more interested in compliments about your menacing demeanor or how terrifyingly cutting your glare is?” Roman tried, using all his willpower to keep his voice from squeaking as he rambled under that unreadable gaze.

The demon shifted his grip, fingers slowly tightening around Roman like a boa constrictor that had just found lunch.

“Tell me again,” he finally said, “about all the rumors you’ve heard about me. My summoning circle must be so widespread by now, yes?”

Roman nodded in a way that hopefully didn’t convey that he was about to start lying through his teeth. “Right, yes, absolutely just– so many rumors. Tons of people know about your summoning circle, it’s practically infamous, I’m surprised you don’t have people knocking at your door this very minute! Your reputation precedes you, your name is whispered amongst admirers, far too numerous to count, really–”

“And what,” the demon said with a smile like a cat spotting a mouse in a trap, “is my name, dedicated admirer of mine?”

Roman’s expression froze quicker than a puddle in Antarctica, and he cleared his throat several times as though buying himself a few extra seconds would magically provide him with the correct answer. It had to have been written down somewhere, he must have glanced over it in passing–

“Your name, of course,” he stammered. “You’re so popular, it’s practically a good luck charm… it’s obviously– obviously… um. Janice?”

—

Janus continued to hold the gaze of the tiny, trembling creature in his grasp, staring down at him with mild consternation. Had he really guessed Janus’s name at random?

“All the coolest demons have elderly librarian names,” the human tried weakly, and Janus resisted the urge to scowl. Just a fluke, then.

Instead, he maintained his composure and leaned forward, until he was undeniably looming over the human.

“My title is Deceit,” he informed him with a victorious baring of teeth, “and I’ve tasted every lie you’ve told like honey on my tongue, little mouse.”

And what a relief, to know that his summoning circle, his name, his existence was so unknown that every claim the human had made about his supposed fame rang irrevocably false. He wasn’t safe, wouldn’t be safe until every copy of that circle was purged from the human plane, but he wasn’t in immediate danger, either.

Of course, the human didn’t look nearly as relieved at this revelation. Rather, he looked as though his soul was about to escape his body, his eyes painfully wide and his skin taking on a sickly pallor. Janus could feel his tiny, rapid pulse fluttering against his hand like a bird trapped in a cage.

“I would be flattered that you apparently were sincere in your compliments,” he continued, inspecting the nails on his free hand, “except I also know you planned to imprison and constrain me to your will, which makes it all feel rather concerning instead. You understand.”

It took the human a few moments to grasp what he was implying, at which point he recoiled in horror, which was… surprising. Most of the humans who summoned him were the type that would hardly shy from using force to get what they wanted.

“I wasn’t– I wouldn’t,” he insisted, and there was no uncertainty in the taste of that truth. “Really, I wasn’t trying to do that– any of that to you, I didn’t even know that summoning circles could do that, I just– look. My brother summoned a demon and he was being a total shithead about it, so obviously I had to summon one too, to shut him up, and your circle was the only one that fit on the plywood–”

“Hold on,” Janus said, desperately searching for the bittersweet tang of a lie. “You’re telling me that you decided to perform an arcane demon-summoning ritual with no prior experience or actual plan for said demon. All to one-up your brother.”

“I had a plan!” he protested. “It involved flattering selfies and possibly movie marathons.”

Janus stared down at the human he had been lightly tormenting for the past half hour, who apparently wasn’t some spineless cretin that planned to wipe out thousands of lives for his own gain.

“And to accomplish this, you chose my circle. Out of all your available options. The one that’s been used for mass murder, catastrophic destruction, and the conspiracy-based downfall of empires.”

“You committed mass murder?” the human echoed in a near-shriek.

Janus felt a muscle in his jaw twitch. “What part of ‘the circle binds me to the command of a human’ did you not understand, exactly?”

“I’m not great at paying attention at the best of times, let alone when I’m being stalked by a 50-foot snake demon that wants to have my spleen for lunch!” the human retorted, and then paused. “So… humans made you do all those terrible things?”

Despite the fact that Janus had literally just confessed to being titled ‘Deceit’, the human’s tone was horrified, not dubious. Horrified on his behalf, of all the idiotic things.

“It’s not like I particularly cared about the murder,” he corrected hurriedly. “Humans are always killing each other, what concern is it of mine? It’s the fact that they dared to use me like a tool, to bind me to silence, to try and break me under the weight of their commands.”

His lip curled up into a snarl, his body going tense at memories he’d much rather forget– but he couldn’t miss the way the human’s breathing went shallow, and unlike before, he pointedly kept his grip from tightening around that delicate little form.

“That sounds– rough,” the human managed, transparently twitching with the urge to try and break free. “I definitely wasn’t going to do that though. The ordering or the mass murdering or anything. I try not to violate the Geneva Convention, as a general rule.”

Janus rolled his eyes, ignoring the little twinge of remorse at the human’s clear discomfort. He’d misread the situation, but it didn't change the reality of things. In this dimension, it was every demon for themself, and it was better that the human got used to that now, rather than later.

“Your intentions matter little to me,” he lied, “but I do appreciate knowing that there’s little risk of any other impertinent mortals finding my circle. I suppose you deserve a reward, little mouse.”

The human visibly brightened. “It’s Roman, actually, but I’m glad we agree! You can send me back home, and I’ll be out of your hair! I’ll even burn the book I found your circle in and make sure nobody else can ever try to do that to you again.”

Now that was funny. “I take back what I said: You’d make a better jester than a bard. If I were to send you back, presuming that I even could find a way, how would I know that you wouldn’t seek vengeance? It would only take one proper summoning to have me defenseless and bound before you, or you could sell off the circle design to the highest bidder, or a more power-hungry mage could steal it from your very thoughts.”

Roman drew breath to counter this, his brows drawn down firmly, but Janus silenced him with a single finger, the pad of his thumb against his face.

“No, I know well that I’ll never be safe so long as someone with even the memory of that cursed spell exists in the human plane. I won’t send you back,” he said, tone final. “But as a reward, I won’t turn you out onto the streets to be snapped up or tormented, either. I imagine it’ll be quite the adjustment, but you’ll find that my hospitality is far better than most around here.”

Roman’s expression spoke volumes about how accurate he thought that final statement was, but Janus didn’t care to prove it. The human now resided in this dimension whether he liked it or not. He’d learn just how vicious demons could be, and if he still tried to escape and suffered the consequences, then he wasn’t Janus’s problem anymore.

He stood up, looping his thumb in front of the human’s chest to create a more stable hold than any of the others he’d subjected the little creature to thus far. Going by the way Roman immediately drew his legs up and clung to the provided finger, the gesture was appreciated. Or the human was particularly desperate.

He’d never actually interacted with a human without being filled with utter loathing and disregard for their life before. There had to be safer, less terrifying ways to hold them. There was research in his future, provided that the human in question didn’t immediately squeeze through some errant crack in the walls and get himself killed.

Not that Janus would care. Obviously.

And if he was already making plans to lock the doors and baby-proof the house at his earliest convenience, well, at least nobody could prove it.

[kingdom-creatin]

MCYT Star Trek AU

Present Year: 2392

Vessel: USS Lepidoptera, Sovereign-class, NCC-1727, 855 crew, 23 decks

(Note: Regarding language proficiency: ‘S’ means speaking, ‘R’ means reading, and ‘W’ means writing. Regarding degree notation: ‘BS’ means a Bachelor’s Degree and ‘M’ means a Master’s Degree. Pips are the small symbols that denote one’s rank within Starfleet, and for the time period of this AU, these pips would be small, hemisphere shaped, silver, and located on the right breast.)

-

Techno Blade

Commander in Operations, Chief of Security, 3 Pips

Age: 42 

Timeline:

Born and raised in the Dilithium mines on Remus. Was a slave miner until age 14, then was selected for combat by Romulan commanders along with 50 other children in his mine region. His commanders recognized his skill in fighting and in weaponry and after the battle he was relocated and trained as a guard for a Romulan councilman. He remained as guard to the councilman and his family until he was 25. When the Dominion War began, he was removed from his position and returned to the army ranks as a front-line soldier and small command tactician until the war ended. He was then returned to guard of the councilman who had survived through the war. When he was 29 (2379) he participated in the coup to overthrow the Romulan control over Reman and Remus and was resettled off of Reman by Starfleet and offered entrance into the academy after his involvement in the resounding battles. He remained at Starfleet to study for about 10 years and for the last 3 years of enrollment he refocused his studies to enable him to join as a crew member on a fleet vessel.

Qualifications and Degrees:

Military history (BS)

Interstellar politics and law (M)

Agriculture (M)

Navigation (BS)

Specialized in rifle use, high skilled in phaser and disruptor combat, also experienced in projectile and plasma weaponry

Languages:

Federation Standard (S,R,W), Reman (S,R,W), Romulan (S,R,W), Vulcan (S), Dominionese (limited working proficiency S), Cardasian (limited working proficiency S,R)

Race:

Reman - partially telepathic (can dull pain in those suffering, and can invade minds of others), once slaves to the Romulans in dilithium mines, light sensitive, great warriors, used often as cannon fodder in Romulan wars, tension after 2379 with attempt to fight Federation, resettled by Federation off of Remus due to hate crimes and violence against them by Romulans, called Havrannssu by Romulans

Attributes:

OCD (projection brrr also ‘chat’ translates well), concerning relationship with the concept of death and dying for the sake of duty, isolated but desperate to form close bonds due to prior treatment on Remus and as a guard to members of the Romulan Empire, PTSD-C (more comprehensive breakdown of this later), can become panicked by extended time in close proximity to Romulans and experiences mild heightened anxiety around Vulcans and Romulan or Vulcan mixed personnel (considerably improved from when he first entered the academy, does not restrict his daily duties on campus or on the ship)

-

Phil Za

Lieutenant in Command, Chief Flight Controller, 2 Pips

Age: 47

Timeline:

Grew up wanting to get involved with holotech and spent much of his childhood learning about coding and holography. He joined Starfleet for further knowledge and access to holotech that he could work with himself (holodecks are expensive) and initially studied holotech for his degree. When the Dominion War began he joined a fleet vessel as an ensign (ages 28-30) and fought for the full 3 years. During this time he developed his interest and love for navigation and flight, and upon returning to Earth he continued his education seeking a degree in navigation. One day he met Kristin, and after a couple of years they married in 2379 and settled in a house nearby the Academy where Kristin taught as a teacher. He was able to continue his education and also teach as a part-time professor himself at the Academy. After a over a decade of this though, he began to get a bit stir crazy and longed to fly again. He didn’t want to push Kristin, but he kept her involved in his thoughts on joining a ship and discussions with Starfleet personnel. Eventually she decided she wanted to join before he decided it would keep her happier to stay, and so they signed up to join a fleet vessel in the present year.

Qualifications and Degrees:

Holographic Engineering (BS)

Navigation (M)

Solar dynamics (minor), Warp mechanics (minor)

Languages:

Federation Standard (S,R,W), Klingonese (S,R), Vulcan (limited working proficiency S,R)

Race:

Human

Attributes:

Adrenaline junkie, highly social and friendly with much of Starfleet students and the crew, does not participate in crew bet pools and gambling but does enjoy watching his wife participate in such, flighty (literally and figuratively haha-) and needs to be on the move with exciting things to do all the time - not keen for settling or laying low, still very interested in holotech and frequently tinkers with programs to test in one of the ship’s holodecks (has one big project he is trying to perfect for Kristin, and another big project he’s not sure he’s allowed to do without a license for it-)

-

Kristin Za

On-Ship Educator, 0 Pips

Age: 44

Timeline:

Born and raised near a Starfleet Academy by pure serendipity. “Trouble” child through her teens but graduated well enough to go on to an education to become a teacher. Wanted to be able to help younger kids who struggle with school and the school setting to learn and to enjoy learning. Met Phil when meeting with someone at Starfleet whose kid was in her class and he was enamored by how she tore the dad to bits for being a prick father. After they married (2379) they stayed in her hometown due to her job being there and his being near enough at the Academy. She was not interested in joining a ship, her fear of flying and space, her attachment to the families and life she had on Earth, and her not wanting to lose the rhythm of their marriage that they had found. However, she went with him when he was discussing placements and managed to boss her way into a teaching position on a vessel, trusting in her and Phil’s relationship and willing to push past her fear to ensure they could both be happy.

Qualifications and Degrees:

Education (BS)

Languages:

Federation Standard (S,R,W), Vulcan (limited working proficiency S,R)

Race:

Human

Attributes:

ADHD-HI (esp struggles with learning or retaining new information, attention dysregulation, interrupting or blurting out thoughts/conversations), aviophobia (she can push past it to get on that vessel but it’s very much still there and it will take a long time for her to manage it more securely), spends free time meeting with the crew and making friends and also got roped into participating in gambling nights but is very into it and enjoys the fun environment and making Phil look concerned

-

Henry (Tommy) Thomas

Ensign in Operations, 1 Pip

Age: 23

Timeline:

He goes by Tommy because he grew up with a puppy who his parents named Julius but Tommy insisted on calling Henry (to the point where the dog would only respond to Henry and his parents had to concede) because then “he would grow up to be a big man like me!” When the dog passed however, it was too painful for him to hear the name Henry, so he began to go by Thomas and eventually Tommy from his last name and it simply stuck as he aged into adulthood. He tells everyone that it was a nickname from a senior officer. He has never been really sure what he wanted to do, but space fascinated him and he found that the repetition of ship maintenance mechanical engineering could become maintainable for him and so he dove into it. Became friends with Tubbo through classes and they spent considerable time together. He began learning sign language so that he could better communicate with Tubbo, especially while the other’s aids were being adjusted or undergoing maintenance. Was on ground and not yet graduated during the Dominion War, but was able to sign on to this vessel as it left with his final semester.

Qualifications and Degrees:

Mechanical Engineering (BS)

Languages:

Federation Standard (S,R,W), Federation Standard Sign (learning)

Race:

Human

Attributes:

ADHD-C (esp interrupting or blurting out thoughts, struggles with organization and instructions, easily becomes lost in a conversation, difficulty with encoding details), hobbyist interest in entomology, spends considerable time performing brain teasers and games in the ship library and recreation areas, has hundreds of alerts on his tablet and communicator at all times to remind him of specific duties and deadlines, takes extensive notes when given instructions by his senior officers and either checks them very frequently or forgets about them as he works, hears bits and pieces about Commander Blade through the crew and Tubbo and invests himself in researching the man and his skills on his own time as well until Blade becomes a kind of role-model to him

-

Tobias (Tubbo) Maron

Ensign in Operations, Warp Core Engineer, 1 Pip

Age: 23

Timeline:

Struggled through primary education due to his disabilities, but his father, Jordan, was able to get access to hearing aid technology through his work in Starfleet. Very much raised by the academy and it's teachers, researchers, and staff. He always wanted to go into space like his dad and his dad's friends and especially was interested in mechanics and warp technology. He attended Starfleet to get degrees that would enable him to fly, although his dream was paused due to the Dominion War. In the pause, he spent more time studying and learning all that he could while he was grounded. He became friends with Tommy while in classes together and they roomed together for their last few years at the Academy. While he was at Starfleet he was also able to work with other engineers to specialize his hearing tech to himself, and implanted the anchor for his scanner into his temple. Once the war ended and the new vessel was ready, he was able to sign on for the voyage.

Qualifications and Degrees:

Warp mechanics (BS)

Mechanical Engineering (BS)

Engineering Studies (minor), Subspace fields mechanics (minor)

Languages:

Federation Standard (S,R,W), Vulcan (S,R,W), Romulan (S), Federation Standard Sign

Race:

Human-Vulcan mixed

Attributes:

Hard of hearing, dyslexic, has discrete ear pieces that he wears at all times which automatically amplify the sounds around him and have vocal controls to allow for repeating sounds and adjusting the volume and other things, has a small scanner (eraser cap diameter) that he can stick against a small attachment in his temple which will scan all text in front of him when prompted (by voice or by touch) and send it to his earpieces to read to him, his communicator signal transmits through his earpieces as well as any communications or tts from his tablet or computer, general anxiety disorder, when he is stressed or unable to sleep he finds little areas in the engineering bays to work on something without someone who knows it’s not his shift finding him (his superior officer knows and this is why he lets the kid have the occasional crash days where he sleeps for 48 hours on end), alternatively he will spend time at the view decks or in his room listening to books on any topics he finds interesting at the time as he loves learning and absorbs information like a particularly tenacious sponge

[remuscore]

please post them my goodness

Okay hang on

Patton

Full Name: Patton Leslie Picani.

Date of Birth: January 15th.

Age: 28.

Gender: Genderfluid.

Presentation: Masculine or feminine; switches.

Pronouns: He/him and she/her.

Sexual Orientation: Aromantic Pansexual.

Status: Single.

Height: 5’8.”

Body Type: Heavyweight; strong.

Hair Color: Black and blonde; uses temporary dyes sometimes.

Hair Type: Corse; fade haircut.

Eye Color: Dark brown/black.

Race(s): African decent.

Piercing(s): None.

Tattoo(s): None.

Physical: None.

Mental: Severe clinical depression and Bipolar 1.

Family:

Parent(s): Emile Jacob Picani and Leah Flowers Picani (dead).

Sibling(s): Jeremy “Remy” Micah Picani.

Pet(s): None.

Occupation(s): HR worker.

Skill(s): Comedy, gardening, cooking, baking, and caretaking.

Goal(s): To work with children, have a little cottage with tons of plants and animals, and tons of friends.

Logan

Full Name: Logan Mackenzie La Ray.

Date of Birth: November 3rd.

Age: 20.

Gender: Agender.

Presentation: Masculine.

Pronouns: They/them.

Sexual Orientation: Homosexual.

Status: Taken (w Roman and Virgil).

Height: 5’10.”

Body Type: Underweight.

Hair Color: Dirty blonde; shoulder length.

Hair Type: Wavy.

Eye Color: Brown and light blue; Heterochromia.

Race(s): White.

Piercing(s): Both lobes and two flats on left ear.

Tattoo(s): Stick and poke Gemini constellation on right wrist, E=Mc^2 written on the crook of elbow.

Physical: Disordered eating.

Mental: Autism and disordered eating.

Family:

Parent(s): Vivian Ann La Ray.

Sibling(s): Thomas Foley Sanders (half-brother).

Pet(s): None.

Occupation(s): Lab Assistance for a medical researcher; college student.

Skill(s): Math, writing, problem solving, teaching, drawing, and cooking.

Goal(s): To get a general teaching degree, a good paying job at a high standing school, pay off student loans by 40s, and maybe have a long healthy relationship with Roman and Virgil or whatever.

Roman

Full Name: Roman Henry Maurice Romeo.

Date of Birth: June 25th.

Age: 19.

Gender: Male.

Presentation: Masculine with lots of feminine aspects; sometimes completely feminine.

Pronouns: He/him.

Sexual Orientation: Homosexual.

Status: Taken (w Logan and Virgil).

Height: 6’1.”

Body Type: Fit; a little soft in the belly and upper arms.

Hair Color: Brown and white (dyed brown).

Hair Type: Curly; just beyond the ears.

Eye Color: Hazel.

Race(s): Afro-Latino.

Piercing(s): Both lobes, both upper lobes, and a nose stud on right side.

Tattoo(s): A couple branches with red flowers on left arm, stems aimed at the wrists and the flowers aimed at the crook of the elbow, but spread out with the leaves and two hearts on the outside of wrist on left arm, colored red.

Physical: Piebaldism and chronic joint pain.

Mental: ADHD, PTSD, clinical anxiety, and clinical depression.

Family:

Parent(s): Luis Javier Teo Romeo and Marianne Evelyn Romeo.

Sibling(s): Remus Luis Edward Romeo and Elijah David Charles Romeo (half-brother).

Pet(s): None.

Occupation(s): Baker for a small bakery; college student.

Skill(s): Drawing, singing, acting, music, writing, and dancing.

Goal(s): To become a famous Broadway actor and rich as all hell with the most handsome, successful husband in the world (maybe two handsome successful husbands at this point).

Remus

Full Name: Remus Luis Edward Romeo.

Date of Birth: June 25th.

Age: 19.

Gender: Non-binary.

Presentation: Masculine/androgynous.

Pronouns: Any, but most use He/They.

Sexual Orientation: Queer/unlabeled.

Status: Taken (w Janus).

Height: 6’1.”

Body Type: Thin.

Hair Color: Brown and white.

Hair Type: Curly; shaggy with Mohawk shaved sides.

Eye Color: Hazel.

Race(s): Afro-Latino.

Piercing(s): Both lobes, both upper lobes, orbital, industrial one left, both tangus, both nostrils, tongue, right eyebrow, vertical labret, and belly button.

Tattoo(s): Stick and poke devil smiley face under right ribs, decapitated rat head on right breast, teeth wrapped around left nipple, barbed wire under breasts, matching skulls on stomach tongues reaching to bellybutton, stick and poke “Notes” on right arm, spiderweb on right elbow, knife on left forearm pointing at elbow, stick and poke guy on skateboard with “Eat Ass” on right thigh, black and red crosses on right thigh, “Carl Marx” written above both knees, “Fuck Me” written above hips on lower back, big stitched up scar on the left side of head, and stick and pokes of his rats on each arm with their names.

Physical: Piebaldism, bad vision in left eye, and chronic joint pain.

Mental: ADHD, PTSD, and clinical depression.

Family:

Parent(s): Luis Javier Teo Romeo and Marianne Evelyn Romeo.

Sibling(s): Roman Henry Maurice Romeo and Elijah David Charles Romeo (half-brother).

Pet(s): Jonathan and Butt Plug (domestic rats).

Occupation(s): Janitor for an office (name forgotten).

Skill(s): Drawing, singing, music, and writing.

Goal(s): To not get killed and maybe live to be a weird old guy.

Janus

Full Name: Janus Rain Greyson.

Date of Birth: February 3rd.

Age: 21.

Gender: Female.

Presentation: Feminine or androgynous.

Pronouns: She/her.

Sexual Orientation: Queer.

Status: Taken (w Remus).

Height: 5’3.”

Body Type: Triangular; flat.

Hair Color: Ginger (dyed).

Hair Type: Wavy; long with shaved sides.

Eye Color: Green.

Race(s): Asian and White.

Piercing(s): Lobes, upper lobes, two helixes on left and one on right, right nostril, philtrum, and snake bites.

Tattoo(s): Thin vines wrapped around left wrist leading down to elbow, one thin vine wrapped around right wrist, a moth and two cover up lines above on right bicep, coffin with a skull in it on right thigh spread out almost all the way down to the knee stabbed with a cross, eyeball on the back of neck, and snake with two heads leading down sternum.

Physical: Port-wine stain birthmark, anisocoria, seizures, and Tourettes.

Mental: Clinical depression.

Family:

Parent(s): Dean Jackson Warren, Ruth Rose Greyson, and Monica Greyson.

Sibling(s): Virgil Storm Greyson.

Pet(s): Jekyll and Hyde (two headed corn snake).

Occupation(s): Bartender; college student.

Skill(s): Dancing, fashion, poetry, and self care.

Goal(s): To live long enough to be a successful, lawyer and just in general a rich as fuck woman. Also a hot wife would be delightful.

Virgil

Full Name: Virgil Storm Greyson.

Date of Birth: December 19th.

Age: 19.

Gender: Demiboy.

Presentation: Masculine.

Pronouns: He/They.

Sexual Orientation: Questioning and Asexual.

Status: Taken (w Logan and Roman).

Height: 6’3.”

Body Type: Chubby; fluctuating weight.

Hair Color: Black (dyed purple fringe).

Hair Type: Wavy and thick; very shaggy haircut.

Eye Color: Dark brown/black.

Race(s): Asian and White.

Piercing(s): Both lobes, both upper lobes, septum, dimples, and two labrets (spider bites).

Tattoo(s): None.

Physical: None.

Mental: Severe clinical anxiety.

Family:

Parent(s): Ruth Rose Greyson and Monica Greyson.

Sibling(s): Janus Rain Greyson.

Pet(s): Charlotte (tarantula) and Phantom (black cat).

Occupation(s): None.

Skill(s): Baking and poetry.

Goal(s): None.

[an-organized-confusion]

Random shit about iZ!Roman - he has an understandable fear of guns. He never particularly liked them. But thanks to the night where the shit hit the proverbial fan... yeah, nope. Not going to touch one again anytime soon. NOEP.

He’d rather put up his dukes, put on some brass knuckles, pull out a gaudy-ass anodized katana, or make improvised weapons out of people than fire one of those things.

[hannahdra-ws]

Yes please

- rambling anon

okay here we go

the template was taken from remuscore so full credit to them

Patton

full name: Patton Hart

date of birth: January 15th

gender: trans male

presentation: masculine

pronouns: he/him

sexual orientation: homoromantic demisexual

status: eventually taken (w/ Logan)

height: 5'5

body type: small; healthily skinny

hair color: dirty blonde

hair type: curly, 3a

eye color: hazel

race(s): white

piercing(s): both lobes pierced

tattoo(s): none

physical: none

mental: PTSD, dysphoria, adhd, severe clinical depression

family

• parents: Diana Hart and Michael Hart

• sibling(s): Angela Hart

• pet(s): none

skill(s): sewing, baking

goal(s): survive high school, get on hormone therapy, and grow old with his friends

Virgil

full name: Virgil Williams

date of birth: December 19th

gender: cisgender

presentation: masculine most of the time

pronouns: he/him

sexual orientation: homosexual

status: eventually taken (w/ Roman)

height: 6'1

body type: underweight, malnourished

hair color: naturally, ginger, then he dyed it purple

hair type: straight

eye color: light blue/gray

race(s): white

piercing(s): both lobes and upper lobes, helix on right

tattoo(s): stick and pokes all over, mostly of different types of spiders

physical: chronic pain in his left leg; disordered eating

mental: c-PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, disordered eating, alcoholism

family

• parents: Julia Willaims (deceased); Patrick Williams

• sibling(s): none

• pet(s): none

skill(s): art, stick and pokes, stealing, guitar, skateboarding

goal(s): to get out of his Fucking house and maybe do something productive for once in his damn life

Janus

full name: Janus "Deceit" Michaels

date of birth: February 3rd

gender: cisgender male

presentation: androgynous, leaning towards masculine

pronouns: he/him

sexual orientation: homosexual

status: FWB and eventually taken (w/ Remus)

height: 5'6

body type: thin, strong

hair color: ginger

hair type: curly, 3a

eye color: brown

race(s): half white half asian

piercing(s): both lobes, orbital conch on both, snake bites

tattoo(s): stick and poke of a snake around his left wrist

physical: chronic pain, fully blind in his left eye, 3rd degree burn scars scattered on his face and down the left side of his body, cigarette addiction

mental: PTSD, hypochondria, cigarette addiction

family

• parents: August Michaels (deceased); Damien Michaels

• sibling(s): none

• pet(s): two snakes, "Ella" and "Dizzy"

skill(s): lying, manipulation, forgery

goal(s): to get out of this batshit town with his friends

Logan

full name: Logan Reeves

date of birth: November 3rd

gender: cisgender male

presentation: masculine

pronouns: he/him

sexual orientation: bisexual

status: eventually taken (w/ Patton)

height: 6'4

body type: fit, strong (kind of a less intense Chris Evans)

hair color: dark brown

hair type: straight, fade cut

eye color: dark blue

race(s): white

piercing(s): both lobes

tattoo(s): none

physical: none

mental: autism

family

• parents: Lillian Reeves (adoptive), Cat Reeves (adoptive)

• sibling(s): none

• pet(s): black calico cat named Luca.

skill(s): violin, first aid

goal(s): make all a's, graduate with honors, live with his friends

Roman

full name: Roman Diaz

date of birth: June 4th

gender: cisgender male

presentation: masculine

pronouns: he/him

sexual orientation: homosexual

status: eventually taken (w/ Virgil)

height: 6'2

body type: Fit, little soft around his thighs

hair color: dark brown

hair type: curly, 3b

eye color: green

race(s): mexican

piercing(s): both lobes

tattoo(s): none

physical: none

mental: PTSD, adhd, rsd

family

• parents: Sofia Diaz, Romulus Diaz

• sibling(s): Andrea Diaz, Markus Diaz, Caesar Diaz, Camilla Diaz (adopted), Julius Diaz, Claudius Diaz (adopted), Felix Diaz, Hadrian Diaz (all deceased); Remus Diaz

• pet(s): none

skill(s): guitar, singing, theater, track

goal(s): sweep Virgil off his feet

Remus

full name: Remus Diaz

date of birth: June 4th

gender: cisgender male

presentation: ranges from feminine to masculine to androgynous

pronouns: he/him buts also fine with they/them

sexual orientation: gray-romantic homosexual

status: FWB and eventually taken (w/ Janus)

height: 6'2 (seems taller bc he wears platforms)

body type: underweight, way too skinny

hair color: dark brown with gray streak dyed in

hair type: same as Roman's; mullet-style

eye color: green and brown

race(s): mexican

piercing(s): gages on both ears,  both upper lobes, industrial right, double helix left, eyebrow, bridge

tattoo(s): too fuckin many for me to describe, all stick and pokes. mostly cartoon gore

physical: drug addiction, heterochromia

mental: PTSD, drug addiction, Bipolar 1, autism, paranoia

family

• parents: same as Roman's

• sibling(s): Same as Roman; Roman Diaz

• pet(s): small rat he snuck in, "AssAss"

skill(s): designing tattoos, hustling

goal(s): to literally just survive high school

[loganisanobody]

prompt:  accidentally getting cleaning supplies on your significant other while cleaning

that’s not exactly what happens, as in, they aren’t exactly a SO and they only kind of get cleaning supplies on them but here you go.

based on @eliemo‘s Learned Behavior AU (here you go senpai, here’s one to start with! I hope you like it ;v;)

TW: angst w/o a happy ending, panic attack, past abuse

.

.

Logan and Virgil worked in relative silence, cleaning Virgil’s bathroom. Logan was working on the sink, scrubbing the makeup stains and dried toothpaste from years of buildup.

Virgil looked up every five seconds or so, cringing at the sight of Logan leaning over his sink, wrists-deep in chemical suds. And every five seconds or so, Logan would catch his eye and send a reassuring smile and nod that really did nothing to calm Virgil’s anxiety, but allowed Virgil to get back to his own task of cleaning the toilet.

It was a small bathroom, and the real challenge was that Virgil had not been in any mindset to keep it properly clean for a number of years. Not that the Others had cared, but as soon as Patton had found out, he had met with Logan to talk about an intervention. Even then, they had waited until Virgil had made good progress before addressing it.

Of course, the mess had extended to Virgil’s bedroom, so the work was split up: Logan would help in the bathroom, and Janus and Patton would help in the bedroom, which was bigger. Roman and Remus would help with the wardrobe, which they excitedly told Virgil would be the fun part of it all. Virgil refused to let them do any part of it without him (not that he wanted to force them to help in the first place, but they insisted), so he would be part of all of it.

Virgil finished wiping down the suds off the outside of the toilet bowl and moved to stand to scrub the inside, when his foot hit the mop bucket, knocking it over and spilling the sudsy, chemical-filled water inside.

He froze.

It had been a while since he could remember specific threats against him, but he could still remember the panic and terror that came with them, and they came flooding back.

There was someone talking, low and steady, beneath the panic, and something told him to try to listen. He strained to hear, but all he could see was the bubbly water.

Finally, though he couldn’t hear what was being said, he could sense a rhythm to it, and he started trying to breathe to it. It was difficult at first, he found he was breathing too fast. But as he tried to follow it, it got easier and easier, and the rhythmic sounds turned into words, turned into Logan’s voice, “1, 2, 3, 4. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8…”

Slowly, Virgil tore his eyes away from the floor and looked up. Logan was standing in front of him. To anyone else, he looked calm, but Virgil knew him well enough to see the concern written in the edges of his being.

He was suddenly very tired.

“Thanks, L,” he sighed, looking away.

Logan put a hand on his shoulder. “You did very well, Virgil.”

“Thanks. I…” Virgil closed his eyes and let out a breath. “Can we clean this up and take a break?”

“Of course.” Logan didn’t move, and Virgil looked up to see him looking even more concerned than before.

“What?”

“Is something wrong?” “N— I mean…” Virgil sighed again. “I’m just tired. I’m tired of fighting, of having to keep going through this. It’s been so long, L. I just want to be better. Every time I feel like I’m there or almost there, something like this happens.”

Logan nodded. “That is understandable. I… I wish it could be over for you, as well. I wish for you to be happy. But the mind is hard to heal, and we have to be patient. Let’s rest, and we’ll come back to this when we’re ready.”

Virgil nodded, though he wasn’t sure he would ever be ready.

.

.

.

Notes: IDK if Virgil’s room/bathroom would really be a mess or if he’d actually keep it spotless. I also have no personal experience with PTSD/trauma so if I did the panic attack wrong, I am very sorry

[invizigothx]

throwing out some ideas here so i can stop thinking abt them + during the lost years remus experiments w various sedatives for the werewolf transformation and that doesn’t work so well and then does some travelling to learn about other cultures and werewolves and learns a lot more about other cultures who don’t have a harsh divide between magic and non magic people/animals, and meets a nice scandinavian magizoologist who is a bear (gay) and a bear (Animagus) and they live together in a warm cabin in the remote north and when remus is a werewolf he runs thru the snow with his bear friend + dumbledore is like hey snape u gotta a) not literally cut off ur dark mark tattoo b) stick around england bc I think voldemort is going to come back and kill harry and snape is like fine finnnnnnnnne I’ll stay alive but you can’t make me be happy or sober about it (he actually does find some things to be happy about, mostly potions research/academia pen pals) + snape is actually maybe the ONE person convinced of sirius black’s innocence because he hates sirius black and never detected those nasty sirius vibes at a death eater’s meeting and is 99.9% sure he did once see peter pettigrew there? + lupin and snape become sort of friends after a meet-cute in 1982 where it turns out they are both, contrary to dumbledore’s instructions, performing secret welfare checks on lil harry potter. over time they become actual friends, although there is def some friction about lupin moving w life on vs snape continuing to self-flagellate abt his Crimes. they work thru it, snape is cool with the idea of harm-reduction vs harm elimination. also Snape is very interested in Lupin’s travels, he would like to travel and learn more abt potions in other regions but is on the Ministry of Magic’s no fly list :( + being a werewolf is nice actually when you have a big bear boyfriend and potions that take away the pain and this is a metaphor for western colonialism oppressing people who are different + Snape is nervous/excited when Lupin comes to teach at hogworks but then remembers he has to pretend to hate lupin (just like he has to pretend to hate Harry) and that sucks but they find some time to hang out together and maybe f*ck? + When Sirius gets back, Lupin’s boyfriend wants to take Padfoot to a vet even after Lupin explains he’s an animagus because there’s no way that dog who has been living on the run and eating raw rats for over a year doesn’t have parasites. + I think that after spending so much time in his dog form Sirius actually has a hard time coming back to human form? a) his memory is fucked b) he doesn’t want to c) his magic is fucked d) he is dog now e) being dog is nice + Obviously Snape takes surprisingly good and tender care of Padfoot. in part bc Snape is committed to restorative justice for his Crimes and in part bc Snape’s father had PTSD from WW2 so Snape is like, very sensitive to the fact that Sirius’s mind is in shambles and the man has basically gone from one war right into another war and that sucks. + Sirius’s personality comes back in sudden flashes and it’s really a delight. He thinks he might be in love with Snape and announces this in a very dramatic fashion and Snape is like uh I have been yr therapist and veternarian for the past 18 months so probably we should wait before entering into a romantic/sexual relationship like at least until we aren’t living together and so that’s that but then Sirius moves into Grimmauld Place and then maybe they start flirting or smth in a very intense and theatric way, much to the amusement of Lupin and his husband

[abusedsanderssides]

Rescued

Trigger/content warnings: Past abuse mention, unsympathetic Remus and Deceit, sympathetic Roman, Patton, and Logan, cursing, tying up, injuries, hurt/comfort, ptsd, rescuing from abusive home.

Ship(s): A little bit of Prinxiety at the end.

Characters: Virgil, Roman, Remus, Patton, Logan, and Deceit/Janus (before name reveal).

2014 words

Prompt: Can roman rescue virgil from this drabble

Requested by @im-a-flippen-dinosaur link

A/N: Sorry this took so long! I’ve had a bunch of stuff come up but I hope you like it! <3

- 4/26/21

Roman had just gotten out of the shower and changed into pajamas, feeling clean and refreshed. It was around midnight, so he went to his bed so he could sleep. He pulled back the covers and there lay a white rat with red eyes. Roman almost screamed, slapping his hand over his mouth before he did so he didn't wake anyone up.

He had to think for a second. Why in the Disney was there a rat in his bed? Then he realized. "Oh my god," Roman said out loud to himself, "Fucking Remus!"

Roman quickly snapped his fingers and the rat disappeared, a clean set of sheets now on his bed. Roman grabbed his sword off the wall and stormed out of his room, going to pay a visit to his brother.

Once he entered the Dark Sides' Mindscape he charged towards Remus' room. Roman kicked the door open and it slammed against the wall. Roman scanned the room, seeing Remus on his bed and his eyes latched onto him, not processing the other person in the room.

After a second Roman's eyes darted to what Remus was towering over. It was a small, pale, very skinny, and terrified boy covered head to toe in bruises and cuts. He was wearing a black hoodie and white and black plaid pajama pants with some black eyeliner under his eyes, and boy was he cute.

'Who is this man?' Roman thought. 'I've never seen him a day in my life.' Roman then noticed that the boy was tied up, wrists and ankles bound, rope tying his legs together as he leaned against Remus' headboard.

Roman's thoughts were cut off with his brother saying, "Well hello there. Now is not a great time for our fight so maybe go jack off and then come back. I'll probably be done with him by then." Roman's eyebrows were furrowed in confusion.

Virgil was overwhelmed. First, Remus dragged him out of his room and brought him to his, beating the living shit out of him for no reason. He didn't even do anything wrong! Then, Remus tied him up and threw him on the bed, crawling to hover over him and whisper all the horrible things he was going to do to Virgil in his ear. Then after that, this man dressed in white and red busted down Remus' door holding a sword and boy did he look furious.

What was going on? Was that man here to hurt Virgil too? Or was he here to save him? Virgil hoped and prayed for the latter, locking eyes with the man and sending him pleads and practically telling him his life story with just a look.

And the man looked... concerned? Why did he look concerned? Was he actually going to help Virgil or was he just going to take him and use him the same way Remus and Deceit do?

"What are you doing, Remus? Who is that? What are you doing to him?" The man asked, his voice rising a bit at the end making Virgil visibly flinch.

Remus laughed his manic laugh, huffing out, "This is none of your concern, brother." Wait, the man in white was Remus' brother? Virgil didn't even know he had a brother! Virgil looked back and forth from both men. He struggled against the bonds, causing Remus to snap his head back to him, holding Virgil down in a firm grasp.

The man in white looked furious, and that scared Virgil. Remus cackled, "I'm not saying sorry for the rat, by the way. That was hilarious!" Virgil could visibly see the anger in the man's face and he wondered if steam was going to come out of his ears.

Virgil watched as the man charged towards Remus with his sword, and Virgil flinched, falling off the bed in the process. The two brothers were rolling around on the floor, fighting. Remus had gotten his mourning star out, which Virgil knew from experience hurt, and he heard the metal clashing together.

Virgil spaced out. He wasn't processing what was going on, all the noise blurring together, and his vision got blurry. So Virgil didn't notice when Deceit stormed into the room, Roman quickly knocking them both out, snapping his fingers to tie them up back to back so they couldn't escape.

Roman hadn't noticed that Virgil fell off the bed, so he panicked when the boy was nowhere in sight. Roman rushed to the other side of the bed, seeing Virgil laying on the floor with his eyes shut tight and brows furrowed. Roman snuck towards the man as to not scare him, sitting down quietly. Virgil flinched when Roman's fingers brushed against his leg, attempting to curl in on himself even more.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise," The man spoke, and when Virgil didn't move a muscle he continued, "My name is Prince Roman and I'm here to rescue you. I'm going to take you somewhere safe, but I have to get this rope off first. Can I do that?"

Virgil slowly cracked one eye open, having a better look at the man, Roman, who showed nothing but sympathy on his face. Virgil took a second to think it over, nodding slowly. Roman reached behind Virgil and started to untie the rope.

Once Virgil was untied he muttered out, "Thank you." Roman took a second to try and figure out what he said, as it was barely audible.

He nodded his head, smiling, "You're very welcome, beautiful." Virgil blushed, hiding his face in his bangs. After a few seconds, Roman asked, "Can I pick you up? I need to take you somewhere safe, princess." Virgil nodded his head, flinching when Roman picked him up bridal style. Virgil panicked, quickly wrapping his arms around Roman's neck. Roman giggled, "Hey, it's okay. I'm not going to drop you, promise."

Virgil looked him in the eyes. He could faintly see a few freckles dusting his nose and cheeks, and deep brown eyes looking at him through long lashes. Virgil's heart skipped a beat, feeling honored that he was being held by this stunningly beautiful man.

Roman exited Remus' room, walking towards the door that Virgil wasn't allowed to go through. He didn't want to anyway, Remus told him there were monsters in there that could eat him in one bite. Roman went to open the door and Virgil struggled to escape his hold. "What's wrong?" He asked concern on his face as his hand dropped from the doorknob.

Virgil looked at him, confused. "W-what? T-there's m-monsters in there!" Roman looked taken aback.

He then let out a laugh that made Virgil blush, "What? No, silly. That's where us Light Sides are!" Virgil mouthed the words 'light sides' in confusion. What the fuck were light sides? "Do you not know?" Roman asked and when Virgil shook his head, he grabbed the doorknob again, "Guess I'll just have to show you then."

Roman opened the door and saw stairs behind it, leading up to somewhere. Roman climbed the stairs after closing the door, opening the door at the top of the stairs. Virgil saw that there was a living room, the same as where he lived, just much brighter and cleaner.

Virgil looked around his surroundings, Roman carefully setting him down on the couch. Virgil sunk into it, it was so comfortable! Roman sat down next to him, keeping his distance while still staying close.

Roman then slowly stood up. "Please stay here, I'll be right back. I promise." Virgil nodded, obeying Roman's orders, watching as Roman climbed the stairs.

A few minutes later he returned with two other men, both looking tired and had glasses. One wore a gray cat sweatshirt and pajama pants, the other wearing a black polo, blue tie, and blue jeans. Did he sleep in those?

The man with the cat hoodie widened his eyes when he saw Virgil, hurrying towards him, causing Virgil to curl in on himself and put his hands up in surrender. The man stopped where he was, kneeling down in front of where Virgil sat on the couch. "Hey," He spoke and Virgil immediately relaxed a bit, his voice being very calm. "It's okay, we're not going to hurt you. We're here to help."

"That is correct," The other said, and Virgil knew it must've been the other man as Virgil didn't recognize it as Roman or the one in front of him. Virgil lifted his head up, seeing three looks of concern and empathy. "Are you hurt?"

Virgil shook his head, confused. Why were they being so nice?

"My name is Patton," The man in front of him spoke, "and that's Logan," Patton said, turning towards the man in the tie. Virgil nodded his head, signaling he followed. "What your name, kiddo?"

"Anxiety," Virgil whispered, not trusting them with his real name yet. Patton nodded, reaching out to hold Virgil's hand, causing him to flinch away, shaking in fear.

"Hey, hey," Patton reassured, "I'm not going to hurt you. You're safe here." Virgil loosened up, complying and letting Patton hold his hand. "Oh my goodness you're freezing cold!" Patton exclaimed, careful not to raise his volume. "Do you want a blanket?" Virgil shook his head, not wanting to be a burden to them even though he was freezing.

"Are you hungry?" Logan asked. Virgil shook his head again.

"Tired?" Roman added, and Virgil nodded at that one. 

Virgil was scared. He didn't know who these people were or what was going on, and it didn't help that he was the literal embodiment of anxiety. Virgil mumbled, barely above a whisper, "Please don't take me back." 

Patton's eyes widened and he shook his head frantically, "Oh no, sweetie! Never! You're staying here where you're safe." Virgil let out a breath that he didn't realize he was holding him, slightly nodding his head. He didn't know if he could trust these men but they seemed nicer than Deceit and Remus, and even if they weren't nice people, Virgil didn't plan on going back to them ever in his life.

It was silent for a second before Logan spoke again, "Where would you like to sleep? Currently, as your arrival was a surprise, we cannot offer you your own room. Making you sleep on the couch would be highly rude and unsafe, so that is not an option."

Virgil thought for a second. Patton seemed really nice, but he feared that he might touch him too much as he seemed like a cuddly and affectionate person. Logan seemed cold, and Virgil didn't feel comfortable sleeping with him. So that left Roman. Virgil felt safe with Roman. He did rescue him, after all.

"C-can I sleep with R-Roman?" Virgil muttered out. All three nodded their heads and Virgil sighed contently.

Roman took a step forward, getting Virgil's attention. "Would you like me to carry you, princess?" Virgil blushed at the nickname, nodding his head in agreement. Roman picked him up bridal style, Virgil once again holding onto him. They all said goodnight to each other, agreeing to discuss this more in the morning, and Roman carried him up to his room.

Roman's room had the same layout as Remus's but they were decorated very differently. He has a huge bed with a red comforter, big windows, Disney posters (which Virgil loved), and it looked like a room in a royal castle. Roman set Virgil down on his bed and Virgil immediately relaxed into it, snuggling up against the soft sheets. Roman giggled, a light blush painting his cheeks.

"Let me tuck you in, silly." Roman covered Virgil with the blankets, smiling at the beautiful boy below him. "Would you like me to sleep on the floor?"

Virgil widened his eyes, quickly shaking his head. "No! Please stay." Roman obliged, slipping into bed next to Virgil. Virgil hesitantly curled up in Romans' chest, and big arms wrapped him in a hug.

Virgil felt safe. He felt loved. He felt wanted.

Roman was his hero.