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eighth-house-tarot · 3 days ago

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☃️ pick a card, 3 card spread ☃️

Advice for Family Relationships this Holiday Season

Some of you might be feeling anxious before some of the major winter holidays. This reading is made to help you either have fun, repair relationships, or just get through it.

Next year my goal is to cover all the major holidays about a week before they happen. ~ Also! This is my first time doing a reading like this, so feedback is greatly appreciated <3

how to pick a card and disclaimers

Pile 1 / Pile 2 / Pile 3 - inhale, exhale 3x

spread: Biddy Tarot 3 card Love spread // deck: Motherpeace tarot

Pile 1

What brings you together?

Death - A unique, and probably painful, situation has forced you and the rest of your family together. I feel like everyone is pretty rattled by what is going on, whatever it is. Yet I also feel a sense of gratitude everyone has too. Gratitude that at least you all have each other. Imagine doing this alone! This moment is causing you all to reevaluate how you guys think of your relationships with each other, since your family maybe never expected to have this level of collective support in each other. Healing relationships is a long process and a 2-way street, and grief is hard too. Don't put too many expectations on how your relationship with your family (and their relationships with each other) will grow in the future. Maybe the assholes will grow up, maybe they'll become assholes again, who knows? Live in the moment and just hold each other now.

What pulls you apart?

Lovers reversed - There are some major trust issues you have with your family, and your family has with each other. This is probably for a good / understandable reason, whatever it may be. Respect your feelings, but don't jump to conclusions about whatever someone might do or say. Allow them a chance to act differently without hoping or expecting they will. If someone is going into a regular toxic pattern of behavior, do not take the bait. You can excuse yourself from the situation, pretend you didn't hear them and talk to someone else, try to redirect to a neutral subject matter, or grey rock them. I sense that you, and other family members, don't know if you all love each other. You might find yourself asking if it's obligation or genuine care. It's a very difficult thing to live with, and personally I totally relate to that - I've asked that same question almost my whole life.

What needs your attention?

8 of Swords reversed - It's time for you to release yourself from your believed role in this family. You do not have to keep yourself small. You do not have to abide by any role or box others have put you in. You're too big for those limitations. You can state what you do and do not accept. If you are an adult, you have control over your life, no one is entitled or allowed to harm you because of whatever justification they claim to have. If you're a minor, you can research legal help and see what you can do if you ever need to do it. Trust your survival instincts, but don't let your regular methods / ole reliable's continue to harm you - let them change with you as you grow. 3 things will give you liberation in your life: boundaries, radical acceptance, and the grey rock method. [3 youtube videos linked]

[note: me sharing youtube videos on narcissistic relationships does NOT mean I'm saying your family is narcissistic, or that you should make a diagnosis on someone who hasn't been diagnosed]

🦢 ♥︎ much love - Clarissa Liddy ♥︎ 🦢

if this reading helped you, here's more on what I offer if you'd like to support my work you can buy me a coffee or reblog check out my USA Election Aftercare reading here!

Pile 2

What brings you together?

Page of Pentacles - You and your family are brought together by not only your cheerful holiday traditions, but also by some good news or an exciting announcement someone is making. There is some sense of this moment either being the beginning of something, or celebrating the beginning of something. This feels like a pretty solid family dynamic, with everyone having similar values - maybe you're not all in perfect agreement, but there's respect there. A fun activity that you all might enjoy is a nature walk, outdoor scavenger hunt, or making DIY bird feeders (look up how to properly prepare for your local weather and environment, safety practices for outdoor activities, and what food is safe for wildlife). Maybe you now have a reason to start a new family tradition.

What pulls you apart?

6 of Wands reversed - What seems to generally alienate you from your family and/or cause issues between your other family members are ego issues. Someone (maybe you, maybe not), feels insecure very easily, and that's very hard for them to let go of. It's like they NEED to not only correct the moment / embarrassment / faus pax / mistake, but they immediately need EVERYONE to know that they're a good person / actually talented / great and valid. They do a massive over correction. But this makes others literally or internally roll their eyes and say "this shit again?". And now the party is a lot less fun.

What needs your attention?

Justice - Your family seems like the type of family that works out issues and makes sure that life is fair for everyone involved. But that doesn't mean everyone always knows that something is unfair and needs to be addressed. And that doesn't mean that everyone in the family knows that they are already valid in the eyes of everyone else simply because the love them, or at least respect them (I'm mainly thinking about in-laws / people married in, because they come from different family systems). If it's someone else feeling insecure, maybe pull them aside privately and share with them that your family is glad they've joined the family now. You'll probably see them release a big exhale. If you are the one feeling insecure, have a heart to heart with someone there you trust and confess to how you've been feeling. Hopefully either of these heart to hearts happen before a big blow up or embarrassment. Also if you guys play games, make sure to watch out for cheating and hold cheaters accountable to prevent hurt feelings. [example: my grandpa used to hide dominoes up his sleeve and my grandma would scold him for cheating against us grandkids lmao]

🦢 ♥︎ much love - Clarissa Liddy ♥︎ 🦢

if this reading helped you, here's more on what I offer if you'd like to support my work you can buy me a coffee or reblog check out my USA Election Aftercare reading here!

Pile 3

This reading got serious so, important notes: 1.) all of my readings are for entertainment purposes only. 2.) you are 100% responsible for all of your decisions. 3.) tarot reading does NOT determine fate; circumstances / energies change all the time. 4.) not every general reading is for you, even if it shows up as a recommended post; if you read pile 3, are very confused, and what I'm saying feels like completely new information, then this reading probably isn't for you. 5.) this is YOUR life; follow YOUR intuition; lead your life with love first and foremost

What brings you together?

Ace of Wands reversed - There is a shared concern about another family member who plays an important role in the family (I'm thinking an elderly person - but this is a general reading so they might not be elderly, but function as the matriarch / patriarch). This person's light in their eyes is gone and they feel like a different person. I keep getting the image of a widower / widow, and they were widowed within the last 1-2 years, but maybe even 5 years. This might feel jarring to your family to see because people assumed they were fine. This assumption could've happened for many reasons: the person is insisting they're fine and pushing people away, family members kept putting off showing up for them because it would bring up feelings they weren't ready to face in themselves, or they had to work / had other responsibilities they couldn't turn away from that take up a lot of their life, or there's an assumption someone else would take care of this person / the problem. And now, everyone is starting to see the consequences of that. This person is more lonely than you know, or than they feel safe to admit. They might be pretending everything is fine because they think they can't or shouldn't burden others, but they feel hollow and empty, and very depressed. They haven't experienced joy in a very long time, and maybe haven't laughed in a long time either. They're not broken (no one truly is), they're stronger than you realize, but life's been hard too, and it's hard holding it all together. They want to experience life again, all of its passions, excitements, and joys.

What pulls you apart?

6 of Pentacles - What's causing disagreements and rifts in the family right now is a discovery that this person is spending WAY too much money on people or things they think will bring them joy, contentment, comfort, and love. I think that different family members are having different reactions to this spending, and everyone is frustrated with each other over that. Some are highly upset, some are indifferent, and some think if it's helping this person then what's the harm (all the while ignoring the fact that this person is seeking comfort through these means because they don't know, or think they don't have, a healthy way to fulfill their needs). This spending could be on a religious organization / tithing, a cult, a scammer, a sugar baby, a findom, or OnlyFans. The spending is based in a belief that they are taking care of someone, and they are taking comfort in that.

What needs your attention?

3 of Swords - As painful as it is, a LOVING and PATIENT intervention needs to happen. Maybe not now, but someday (preferably soon). What can absolutely be done right now is telling this person that you see they're in great pain, and ask them to at least not deny it when they're with you. Tell them you're in pain too, and want to be with them because you love them, and want to be here with them. When it's time to have the intervention, make a plan with your family about what to do after the intervention, like plans to regularly visit and/or call, and financial repair. I'm talking on a weekly basis minimum. And hold each other accountable - in the gentle way, not in contempt. Try to get this person to socialize more, like joining clubs, trying new hobbies, going to a senior center, dancing, do a fun makeover / glow up, and dating (so they can see they don't NEED to be giving so much money away in hopes for an ounce of care and attention). Also of course, get them to go to a therapist. On the topic of dating, your family will need to work through their own grief so they don't get angry at this person for dating when they're finally ready. This person is allowed to love again, that doesn't ruin the memory and love they have (and your family has) for a past relationship(s). And to say 2 things in a blunt way that your family members probably need to be told:

1 - Dating and sex is a normal part of life, and it's unfair and cruel to try to control someone against their 100% normal needs and desires. Being old doesn't stop people from being horny. Retirement homes have a lot of rowdy residents. And good for them, they're having fun. 2 - People who live alone and never see friends or family are up to 77% more likely to die. This person's new connections and maybe new romance will literally extend their life, and make their life worth living. So, whoever in your family might have an issue with this person getting out there and finally start having fun can and should be told that it's saving their life - they need to let it go, and handle their own grief - but do support this other person in their grief too, alienating family that are frustrating you is gonna do a lot more harm than good.

I'm giving you guys 2 bonus cards because this was a heavy one.

Nature Meditation deck by Kenya Jackson-Saulters (word-for-word copy from the card)

Hike to Heal: Hiking fosters unity with nature. As we move through the forest, traverse a trail, or summit a peak, our bodies become one with Earth. There are moments when our hearts beat in sync with the crunch of grave underfoot and we feel both vulnerable and strong at the same time. Today as you walk, imagine you are connected to the healing power of Mother Earth. With each step, envision yourself leaving behind what burdens you and picking up the tools that will strengthen and fortify you. In what ways does being connect to Earth in this way heal you?

Affirmators! deck (word-for-word copy from the card)

Love: Love is a many-splendored thing. Today I will notice and appreciate at least three of those splendors. Like the fact that puppies make me feel like a parent. Or the surge of self-congratulation I feel when I sink a three-point trash basket shot on the first try. Of how 'bout the chills I get while singing along to (name of song - you know the one).

🦢 ♥︎ much love - Clarissa Liddy ♥︎ 🦢

if this reading helped you, here's more on what I offer if you'd like to support my work you can buy me a coffee or reblog check out my USA Election Aftercare reading here!

pngs: click here // dividers: click here // I do not consent to my writing, blog's likeness, or anything associated with my work, to be used to teach any machine learning software and artificial intelligence for any purpose.

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