#Reggie Fortune

[o-uncle-newt]

I guess the only person who can really be trusted to describe the greatness of Agatha Christie is Dorothy L Sayers...?

A while back, the always-sharp @thesarahshay sent me an ask that caught me up on something that I'd carelessly written in some tags- I said that Agatha Christie was good at writing romance into her detective fiction, without really elaborating. I then spent multiple paragraphs attempting to elaborate, I'm not sure with how much success. Essentially, and you can click above to see for yourself, my thesis was that while Sayers was a much better literary stylist (and certainly better at writing romance) than Christie, when writing a detective novel, her seams show; Christie had a natural talent for knowing exactly what belongs in a detective story and creating and fitting all the right pieces together that create a seamless detective story, including motivations drawn by romance (though I think the actual romances are among the weaker elements- still MUCH better than those written by most of her peers, for the record).

I'd had trouble putting into words what I wanted to say (there was a convoluted metaphor about Barbies and Lego in there), and I'm not sure I was too convincing; but turns out that the person who said what I wanted to say the best was, in fact the great DLS herself.

There's a fabulous book that I 100% recommend called Taking Detective Stories Seriously, which is a compilation of about two years' worth of detective story reviews that Sayers wrote. I hadn't heard of most of the authors, and even when I had heard of the authors I'd rarely read the books, but it didn't matter, frankly. She's just such a great writer, so thoughtful and incisive and passionate about both the genre and good craftsmanship (not to mention good English), that everything she has to say including on novels that haven't been in print since the 30s is worth reading. She has generally great taste, though she has a much higher opinion of Margery Allingham than I do and doesn't like Ellery Queen's The Siamese Twin Mystery as much as I'd thought she might (though the fact that a character in it insulted Unnatural Death may not have helped lol); but she also likes, to pick two very different writers who I too enjoy, HC Bailey and Mignon G Eberhart, and so she clearly has a good eye. (It's also entertaining to see her slowly force herself to admit that she likes Perry Mason...)

BUT ANYWAY.

She has three reviews of Agatha Christie books in the volume: Murder on the Orient Express, Why Didn't They Ask Evans, and Three Act Tragedy. She reviews all of them very positively, but it's her review of Three Act Tragedy (in my opinion, funnily enough, the weakest of the three) that she really gets to the core of Christie's genius. And it's actually fitting that it's for a book of hers that's on the more meh end of the scale- because it just shows how even meh Christie has an element of genius that other authors have to work hard for even in their best works.

She says:

Some time ago this column contained the statement that Hercule Poirot was "one of the few real detectives." It was a well-sounding phrase, and I have no quarrel with it, except that I am not quite clear what it meant. What I meant to write and what I thought I had written and what I now propose to write clearly with no mistake about it was and is this: Hercule Poirot is one of the few detectives with real charm. Plenty of authors assure us that their detectives are charming, but that is quite another thing. I don't know that Mrs Christie has ever said a word about the matter. She merely puts Poirot there, with all his little oddities and weaknesses, and there he is- a really charming person. And it is true, too, that he is "real," in the sense that we never stop to enquire whether his words and actions are suited to his character; they are his character, and we accept them as we accept the words and actions of any living person because they are a part of himself. Le style c'est l'homme. Indeed, when Mrs Christie is writing at the top of her form, as she is in Three Act Tragedy, all her characters have this reality. She does not postulate a character- retired actor, West End mannequin, family retainer- and put into its mouth sentiments appropriate to its station in life. She shows us character and behavior all of a piece. However surprising or enigmatic the behavior, we believe that everything took place just as she says it did, because we believe in the reality of the people. Poirot is charming, not because anybody says so, but because is is, and all her other people exist for us in the same objective manner. This is the great gift that distinguishes the novelist from the manufacturer of plots. Mrs Christie has given us an excellent plot, a clever mystery, and an exciting story, but her chief strength lies in this power to compel belief in these characters. [emphasis mine]

Sayers then proceeds to compare another author (or rather authors, the husband and wife pair GDH and M Cole) to Christie in this regard, moving on to another review. But in these three paragraphs she has, I think, said it better than anyone- that Christie's skill is in her naturalness, and how that naturalness compels us to believe in and immerse ourselves in her world. She is effortless and seamless.

To be clear, Sayers praises a lot of people in this book, and a lot of people's writing; but mostly she is praising their skill and ability to create what they have created. Here, she isn't quite praising that- she's praising the fact that the final product is so good that you can't even see the craftsmanship behind it, and that's, I think, what separates Christie from her peers. It's a power, and not one that can be broken down by a critic. She just has it.

I've said before that I don't think Sayers had this as a mystery writer, and I think she'd probably be the first to agree with that assessment; she certainly had a seemingly effortless skill as a prose writer (as these reviews show), but as a novelist she took construction seriously and wanted us to know this. That said, another person who I don't think has this, who I mention because he's someone who a lot of people compare Christie to (often negatively), is John Dickson Carr.

I've seen plenty of people say that Carr is a more sophisticated version of Christie, not just in mystery construction but in writing style, and equally prolific, creative, and versatile. I don't agree with this on most counts, but I think, honestly, that Carr is fine- but you can see the seams easily. He might have been prolific but his formulae are visible and his writing required intentionality on his part. By which I mean- Carr when he's trying to be funny is generally hilarious. Carr when he's trying to be scary is generally spine-tingling. But Carr when he's just trying to get to the next good bit is dull and mechanical. He needs to be paying attention and making an effort in order to be good, and we notice him doing this. Christie never has this problem; even when the actual stuff she's writing isn't high quality, she's never dull. Everything feels purposeful and organic, somehow.

Obviously, all of this is fundamentally subjective, and if there's one redeeming element it's that an incredibly smart lady agrees with me (by my interpretation, at least) and says it extremely well. But I'll be holding on to this one, if nothing else.

[jt1674]

[reggiecristal]

Okay, so we all know and love Gandalf Big-Naturals. Now imagine his conflict with Saruman ultimately stemmed from the latter’s envy of Gandalf’s Ginormous Honkers—one which Saruman resolves by turning to dark powers, taking the mantle of Saruman of Many Colors in step with a rack even broader, more boobalicious: he inaugurates himself Saruman Big-Unnaturals, and Gandalf’s concern over Saruman’s back not being built for his new power’s might leads them to blows.

[piratessmpnpcs]

Can I eat your Shipwright Reggie art? It looks so edible

anon im so sorry for answering your ask after *looks at date* 7 months i think?? 😭 also yeah feel free, Shipwright taste like sour grapes.

image id below cut.

[ image id. low quality mspaint doodle of shipwright from pirates smp giving a thumbs up to the viewer. end id. ]

[pucksandpower]

Black Widow

Toto Wolff x black widow!Reader

Summary: Lewis Hamilton and George Russell are convinced you’re trying to kill their team principal, and, to be fair, you do have a trail of seven dead extremely wealthy husbands behind you … but it’s not what they think, you promise

The soft beep of medical equipment provides a rhythmic backdrop as you sit beside the ornate mahogany bed, your manicured fingers intertwined with those of your latest husband, Reginald Worthington III.

At 89 years old, Reggie, as you affectionately call him, is by far your oldest conquest yet. His wrinkled face, now gaunt from months of illness, still manages a weak smile as he gazes at you.

“My darling,” Reggie wheezes, his voice barely above a whisper, “I hope you know how much joy you’ve brought to these final months of mine.”

You lean in, your silky hair cascading over your shoulder as you press a gentle kiss to his forehead. “Oh, Reggie. The pleasure has been all mine.”

It’s not entirely a lie. While you don’t love Reggie — or any of your previous husbands, for that matter — you’ve grown fond of the old codger. He’s certainly been the most amusing of your elderly spouses.

Reggie’s eyes twinkle with mischief, a ghost of the rakish playboy he must have been in his youth. “Now, now, my dear. We both know this has been a mutually beneficial arrangement. But I do hope I’ve provided some entertainment along the way.”

You can’t help but chuckle. “You’ve been a delight, darling. Truly.”

As if on cue, Reggie is seized by a coughing fit. You quickly grab a glass of water from the bedside table, helping him take small sips until the spasms subside. When he catches his breath, he fixes you with a serious look.

“Y/N, there’s something I need to tell you. About the will.”

Your heart skips a beat, but you keep your face carefully neutral. “Reggie, please. We don’t need to discuss such morbid topics.”

He waves a dismissive hand. “Nonsense. We both know why you’re here, and it’s not to admire the wallpaper. Now listen, because this is important.”

You lean in closer, curiosity piqued despite yourself.

Reggie’s voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper. “In addition to the usual — the houses, the cars, the offshore accounts — I’m leaving you my stake in the Mercedes Formula 1 team.”

Your eyes widen in genuine surprise. “The racing team? Reggie, I had no idea you were involved with-”

He cuts you off with a wheezy laugh. “Oh, my dear. There’s so much you don’t know about me. Did you think I made my fortune selling denture cream?”

You can’t help but smile. “Well, I did wonder about all those trophies in your study.”

“Remnants of a misspent youth,” Reggie says with a wistful sigh. “But this, this is my crowning achievement. A 33% stake in one of the most successful F1 teams in history.”

Your mind reels at the implications. This is far beyond anything you’d anticipated when you’d set your sights on Reginald Worthington III.

“Reggie, I ... I don’t know what to say.”

He pats your hand affectionately. “You don’t have to say anything, my dear. Just promise me you’ll make the most of it. I’ve always admired your ambition. It reminds me of myself at your age.”

You lean back in your chair, studying the old man before you. In that moment, you feel a surge of genuine affection for him.

“I promise, Reggie. I’ll make you proud.”

He nods, satisfied. “Good. Now, tell me about the others. I want to know how I measure up to my predecessors.”

You laugh, shaking your head in amazement. “Are you sure? It’s quite a list.”

Reggie’s eyes sparkle with interest. “My dear, I’m on my deathbed. Regale me with tales of your conquests.”

With a theatrical sigh, you begin. “Well, if you insist. Let’s see ... first, there was Harold.”

“Ah, the virgin husband,” Reggie interrupts with a knowing nod.

You raise an eyebrow. “And how did you know that?”

He winks. “I have my sources. Go on.”

“Right. Well, Harold was a sweet man. A bit naive, perhaps, but genuinely kind. He left me his tech startup. It wasn’t worth much at the time, but I sold it for a tidy sum a year later.”

Reggie nods approvingly. “Smart move. Who was next?”

“After Harold came George. He was ... intense. A retired army general with a penchant for war stories and expensive scotch. Left me his collection of rare military memorabilia.”

“Fascinating,” Reggie murmurs. “And the others?”

You tick them off on your fingers. “Let’s see ... there was Joaquin, the passionate Spanish chef. He left me his Michelin-starred restaurants. Then came Dmitri, the Russian oligarch. That was ... an experience.”

Reggie chuckles. “I bet it was. What did he leave you?”

“A series of shell companies and a rather gaudy yacht. I sold the yacht, kept the companies.” You pause, lost in thought for a moment. “After Dmitri was William, the British lord. Lovely man, terrible teeth. Left me his crumbling estate and title.”

“So you’re technically a lady now?” Reggie asks, amused.

You nod. “Lady Y/N, at your service. Though I don’t use the title much. It tends to raise questions.”

“Understandable. And the last one before me?”

Your expression softens slightly. “Ah, that was Hiroshi. Japanese tech mogul. Brilliant mind, but so lonely. I think I was the first real companionship he’d had in years.”

Reggie studies you carefully. “You were fond of him.”

You nod, a bit surprised by the lump in your throat. “I was. He ... he understood me, I think. More than the others.”

There’s a moment of silence as Reggie processes this information. Finally, he speaks. “And what did Hiroshi leave you?”

You smile wryly. “His AI research company. It’s been ... interesting, to say the least.”

Reggie nods slowly. “Quite a collection you’ve amassed, my dear. But tell me, what drives you? Surely it’s not just the money.”

You’re taken aback by the question. No one has ever asked you that before. You take a moment to gather your thoughts.

“I suppose ... it’s the challenge of it all. The thrill of reinventing myself with each new husband, of navigating these complex worlds they inhabit. And yes, the wealth is nice, but it’s more about what I can do with it.”

Reggie leans forward, intrigued. “And what is it you want to do?”

You pause, realizing you’ve never really articulated this to anyone before. “I want to make a difference. Real, lasting change. These men, they’ve all built empires in their own ways, but they’ve been limited by their own mortality. I don’t have those limitations yet. I can take what they’ve given me and create something ... more.”

Reggie’s eyes light up with understanding. “Ah, now I see why I was drawn to you. You’re not just a pretty face or a clever mind. You’re a visionary.”

You feel a flush of pride at his words. “I try to be. Each husband has taught me something new, given me tools I never had before. Harold showed me the potential of technology. George taught me strategy. Joaquin, the importance of passion in one’s work. Dmitri, how to navigate the murky waters of international business. William gave me a glimpse into old-world power structures. And Hiroshi ... well, he opened my eyes to the future.”

Reggie nods slowly. “And what have I taught you, I wonder?”

You smile softly. “Patience, Reggie. The long game. And the value of a good sense of humor in the face of adversity.”

He chuckles weakly. “Well, I’m glad I could contribute something to your education. Now, about this F1 team ...”

You lean in, eager to hear more. “Yes?”

“It’s more than just a racing team, you know. It’s a pinnacle of engineering, a testament to human ingenuity and the constant push for improvement. I think you’ll find it fits quite well with your ambitions.”

You nod slowly, mind already racing with possibilities. “I can see that. The technology, the global platform, the prestige ...”

Reggie grins. “Exactly. And who knows? Maybe you’ll find husband number eight in the paddock.”

You laugh, shaking your head. “Oh, Reggie. Always thinking ahead, aren’t you?”

He winks. “Someone has to. Now, promise me one thing.”

“Anything,” you say, and you’re surprised to find you mean it.

“When you’re accepting that championship trophy — because I know you will — wear something fabulous. Give those stuffy old men in the paddock something to talk about.”

You can’t help but grin. “Oh, don’t worry. I intend to shake things up a bit.”

Reggie nods approvingly. “That’s my girl. Now, I think I need to rest for a bit. But don’t go far. I want to hear all about your plans for world domination when I wake up.”

As you watch Reggie drift off to sleep, you can’t help but feel a mix of emotions. Sadness at the impending loss of this charming old rogue, excitement at the unexpected opportunity he’s given you, and a renewed sense of purpose.

You glance at your reflection in the ornate mirror across the room. Lady Y/N Y/L/N, soon-to-be racing magnate. It has a nice ring to it.

As you settle back into your chair, you begin to plan your next moves. The motorsport world won’t know what hit it.

***

The sleek boardroom of the Mercedes-AMG Petronas F1 Team headquarters buzzes with hushed conversation. Around the polished mahogany table, team executives and board members huddle in small groups, their voices low and urgent.

Toto catches snippets of conversation as he reviews his notes for the meeting.

“Did you hear? She’s actually coming today,” whispers Bradley, the team’s financial officer.

Sarah, head of marketing, leans in. “I can’t believe Reginald left her his stake. What was he thinking?”

“Probably wasn’t thinking with his head, if you know what I mean,” chuckles Thomas, the technical director.

Toto clears his throat, silencing the gossip. “Let’s keep things professional, shall we? We have important matters to discuss today.”

As if on cue, the boardroom door swings open. The room falls into an immediate, almost eerie silence as you stride in, turning heads with every click of your Manolo Blahnik heels against the polished floor.

Toto finds himself holding his breath, caught off guard by your presence. He’s seen photos, of course, but they didn’t do you justice. Your tailored Armani suit exudes power and confidence, while your eyes scan the room with a shrewd intelligence that sends a shiver down his spine.

You take your seat at the far end of the table, directly opposite Toto. “Good morning, everyone. I hope I’m not late.”

Your voice, smooth as silk with a hint of amusement, breaks the spell. The room erupts into a flurry of awkward greetings and nervous coughs.

Toto clears his throat again, trying to regain control of the situation. “Not at all. We were just about to begin. Welcome, Lady Worthington. We’re honored to have you join us today.”

You smile, a dazzling display that doesn’t quite reach your eyes. “Please, call me Y/N. We’re all colleagues here, after all.”

Toto nods, fighting to keep his composure. “Of course, Y/N. Shall we begin with the agenda?”

As the meeting progresses, Toto finds himself increasingly distracted. He’s used to being the most commanding presence in any room, but your arrival has shifted the dynamic entirely. Every time you speak, offering insights or asking pointed questions, the rest of the board seems to hold its breath.

“I’ve been reviewing our sustainability initiatives,” you say during a lull in the conversation. “While I applaud our efforts so far, I believe we could be doing more. Formula 1 has an unique platform to drive innovation in green technologies. We should be leading the charge, not just following along.”

Bradley shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “With all due respect, Lady- I mean, Y/N, implementing new sustainability measures could be quite costly. We need to consider the bottom line.”

You lean forward, fixing Bradley with an intense gaze. “And what about the cost of falling behind? Of being seen as out of touch with the concerns of younger fans? Sometimes, you have to spend money to make money.”

Toto finds himself nodding in agreement before he even realizes it. “Y/N raises an excellent point. Perhaps we should form a task force to explore more aggressive sustainability options.”

You flash him a grateful smile, and Toto feels his heart skip a beat. He quickly looks down at his notes, trying to regain his composure.

As the meeting continues, you consistently challenge the status quo, pushing for bolder strategies and innovative approaches. Toto watches in fascination as you deftly navigate the complex dynamics of the board, alternating between charm and steel as the situation demands.

During a discussion about driver development, you interject again. “I’ve been looking into our junior driver program, and I think we’re missing opportunities. We’re too focused on traditional racing backgrounds. What about sim racers? Or scouting karters from developing countries? We could be tapping into a whole new pool of talent.”

Sarah, the marketing head, perks up at this. “That’s ... actually a brilliant idea. It could really broaden our appeal, especially in emerging markets.”

You nod appreciatively. “Exactly. And imagine the stories we could tell. The sim racer who became an F1 champion or the kid from a small village who rose to the top of motorsport. That’s the kind of narrative that builds brand loyalty and inspires the next generation of fans.”

Toto finds himself leaning forward, completely engrossed. “I love this direction. Y/N, would you be willing to work with Sarah to develop a proposal for expanding our driver search?”

“Of course,” you reply with a smile that makes Toto’s pulse quicken. “I’d be delighted.”

As the meeting winds down, Toto realizes that the entire dynamic of the board has shifted. The initial wariness towards you has given way to a mixture of respect and curiosity. Even those who seemed most skeptical at the start are now hanging on your every word.

“Well,” Toto says, glancing at his watch, “I think that concludes our agenda for today. Unless anyone has any other matters to discuss?”

The room is silent for a moment before you speak up. “Actually, if I may, I’d like to address the elephant in the room.”

A tense hush falls over the gathering. Toto holds his breath, unsure of what’s coming next.

You stand, your posture relaxed but commanding. “I’m aware of the rumors and speculation surrounding my ... personal life. I want to assure all of you that my presence here is purely professional. I’m not here to cause drama or upheaval. I’m here because I believe in the potential of this team and this sport. I hope that over time, you’ll come to judge me based on my contributions, not on gossip or hearsay.”

The sincerity in your voice is palpable, and Toto can see the effect it has on the room. Shoulders relax, expressions soften. There’s a collective exhale, as if a weight has been lifted.

“Thank you for your honesty,” Toto says, standing as well. “I think I speak for everyone when I say we look forward to working with you and seeing what fresh perspectives you can bring to the team.”

There’s a murmur of agreement around the table. As the meeting officially adjourns, people begin to gather their things and file out of the room. Toto notices that several board members linger, clearly hoping to have a word with you. He feels an unexpected twinge of jealousy.

Before he can second-guess himself, Toto makes his way around the table to where you’re chatting with Sarah about the junior driver program idea.

“Excuse me,” he says, feeling uncharacteristically nervous. “Y/N, I was wondering if I could have a word?”

You turn to him with a smile that makes his heart race. “Of course. What can I do for you?”

He takes a deep breath, acutely aware of the curious glances from the remaining board members. “I was impressed by your insights today. I think there’s a lot we could discuss further about the future direction of the team. Would you perhaps be interested in continuing this conversation over dinner?”

A hush falls over the remaining occupants of the room. Toto can practically feel the weight of their stares, but he keeps his eyes fixed on you.

You raise an eyebrow, a mix of surprise and amusement playing across your features. “Dinner? My, my, Toto. Aren’t you afraid of me? I do have quite the reputation, you know.”

There’s a challenge in your voice, but also a hint of vulnerability that catches Toto off guard. He realizes that beneath your confident exterior, you’re testing him, gauging his true intentions.

Toto meets your gaze steadily, his voice low but firm. “I don’t put much stock in rumors. I prefer to form my own opinions based on what I see and experience. And what I’ve seen today is a brilliant, passionate individual who could be a tremendous asset to this team. That’s the person I’m interested in getting to know better.”

The room seems to hold its breath, waiting for your response. You study Toto for a long moment, your expression unreadable. Then, slowly, a genuine smile spreads across your face.

“Well, in that case, I’d be delighted to have dinner with you. Shall we say eight o’clock?”

Toto feels a rush of relief and excitement. “Eight o’clock sounds perfect. I know just the place.”

As you gather your things and prepare to leave, Toto can’t help but feel like he’s standing on the precipice of something monumental. He’s built his career on calculated risks, on seeing potential where others see danger. Looking at you, he knows that this might be the biggest gamble of his life.

But as you turn to give him one last smile before exiting the boardroom, Toto is certain of one thing: it’s a risk he’s more than willing to take.

***

The Monaco Grand Prix paddock buzzes with excitement, a hive of activity as teams prepare for the most glamorous race on the Formula 1 calendar. Lewis Hamilton and George Russell huddle in a quiet corner of the Mercedes garage, their voices low and urgent.

“I’m telling you, mate, something’s not right,” George insists, his eyes darting around to ensure they’re not overheard. “Have you seen the way Toto’s been acting lately? It’s like he’s under some kind of spell.”

Lewis nods grimly, his usual pre-race focus replaced by concern. “I know what you mean. Ever since she came into the picture, it’s like he’s a different person. Always distracted, making decisions that don’t quite add up.”

“Exactly!” George exclaims, then quickly lowers his voice again. “And have you noticed how she’s always around now? At every meeting, every strategy session. It’s like she’s trying to learn all our secrets.”

Lewis furrows his brow, deep in thought. “You don’t think ... I mean, surely she wouldn’t actually try to ...”

“Kill him?” George finishes, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know, mate. But look at her track record. Seven husbands, all dead within months of marrying her. And now she’s got her claws into Toto.”

As if summoned by their conversation, you appear at the entrance of the garage, Toto at your side. The team principal’s hand rests comfortably on the small of your back as he leads you through the bustling workspace.

Lewis and George fall silent, watching intently as you make your way towards them. Your designer sundress and oversized sunglasses scream understated elegance, but to the two drivers, you might as well be wearing a black widow’s web.

“Good morning,” Toto calls out cheerfully. “Ready for qualifying?”

Lewis forces a smile, his eyes never leaving you. “Morning, Toto. Yeah, we were just discussing strategy.”

You step forward, flashing a dazzling smile. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything important. I’m still learning all the intricacies of race weekends.”

George clears his throat, trying to keep his voice steady. “Not at all. We were just finishing up.”

Toto beams, looking from you to his drivers with pride. “Isn’t it wonderful having Y/N here? She’s already brought so many fresh ideas to the team. I don’t know how we managed without her.”

You laugh, a sound that sends chills down Lewis and George’s spines. “Oh, darling, you’re exaggerating. I’m sure these boys were doing just fine before I came along.”

As you speak, your hand reaches up to smooth Toto’s collar, a gesture that seems innocent enough but makes both drivers tense.

Lewis clears his throat. “Actually, Toto, could we have a quick word? About the, uh, tire strategy?”

Toto looks surprised but nods. “Of course. Y/N, would you mind giving us a moment?”

“Not at all,” you reply smoothly. “I’ll just go chat with the mechanics. I’m fascinated by all this technology.”

As you saunter away, Lewis and George exchange a meaningful glance. This is their chance.

“Toto,” Lewis begins, choosing his words carefully. “We’re a bit concerned. About you, actually.”

Toto’s brow furrows in confusion. “Concerned? What do you mean?”

George jumps in, his words tumbling out in a rush. “It’s just that ... well, things have been different since you started seeing her. And given her history ...”

“Her history?” Toto repeats, his voice taking on an edge. “What exactly are you implying?”

Lewis takes a deep breath. “Toto, we care about you. And we can’t help but notice that Y/N’s previous partners have all met with ... unfortunate ends.”

For a moment, Toto just stares at them, his expression unreadable. Then, to their surprise, he bursts out laughing.

“Oh, boys,” he chuckles, shaking his head. “I appreciate your concern, truly. But I assure you, it’s misplaced. Y/N has been nothing but a positive influence on both me and the team.”

George persists, his voice urgent. “But Toto, you have to admit, the pattern is alarming. Seven husbands, all dead within months of marriage. And now she’s here, learning all about our team, our strategies ...”

Toto’s amusement fades, replaced by a stern look. “That’s enough. I understand you’re worried, but I won’t have you spreading baseless rumors. Y/N is here because she’s a part-owner of this team and because I invited her. End of discussion.”

As Toto walks away, Lewis and George share a look of dismay.

“He’s in too deep,” Lewis mutters. “We need to do something.”

George nods grimly. “We can’t let her hurt him. Or the team. We need a plan.”

Throughout the day, as qualifying unfolds, Lewis and George find themselves constantly distracted. Every time they catch a glimpse of you in the garage or on the pit wall, their imaginations run wild.

During a brief break between sessions, they overhear a snippet of conversation between you and one of the engineers.

“So, if something were to go wrong with the car during the race,” you’re saying, “what would be the most catastrophic point of failure?”

The engineer launches into a detailed explanation of various mechanical vulnerabilities, unaware of the horrified looks on the drivers’ faces.

“She’s gathering intel,” George whispers to Lewis. “Probably planning some sort of accident for Toto.”

Lewis nods, his jaw set with determination. “We need to warn him again. Make him see reason.”

But their attempts to get Toto alone prove futile. You seem to be constantly by his side, your hand on his arm, whispering in his ear. To an outsider, it might look like the actions of a loving girlfriend, but to Lewis and George, every gesture seems calculated and sinister.

As the day wears on, their paranoia grows. They start seeing threats everywhere. When you hand Toto a bottle of water, they’re convinced it’s poisoned. When you suggest he take a look at something in the back of the garage, they’re sure you’re luring him away to do him harm.

Finally, as the sun begins to set over the Monaco harbor, they decide they can’t wait any longer. They need to confront you directly.

They find you alone in the hospitality area, reviewing some papers. As they approach, you look up with a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes.

“Lewis, George,” you greet them warmly. “Excellent qualifying today. You must be pleased.”

Lewis takes a deep breath, steeling himself. “Cut the act. We know what you’re up to.”

Your expression doesn’t change, but something flickers in your eyes. “I’m not sure I understand. What exactly am I up to?”

George steps forward, his voice low and intense. “We know about your husbands. All seven of them. And we’re not going to let you add Toto to that list.”

For a moment, you just stare at them, your face unreadable. Then, to their surprise, you burst out laughing.

“Oh,” you chuckle, shaking your head. “Is that what this is all about? You think I’m here to kill Toto?”

Lewis and George exchange confused glances, thrown off by your reaction.

You lean in, your voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. “Let me tell you a little secret. Those men? They were all terminally ill when I married them. It was a business arrangement, pure and simple. They got to spend their last months with a young, beautiful wife, and I got their fortunes. No foul play involved.”

The drivers stare at you, speechless. You continue, your tone becoming more serious.

“As for Toto, well, that’s different. For the first time in my life, I’ve found someone I genuinely care for. Someone who sees me for who I am, not just what I can offer. I’m not here to hurt him or the team. I’m here because I want to be part of something meaningful.”

Lewis and George exchange uncertain glances, their convictions shaken.

“But ... all the questions about the car, the team strategies ...” George begins.

You roll your eyes, a hint of amusement in your voice. “I’m a part-owner of this team now, remember? Of course I’m trying to learn everything I can. How else can I contribute?”

As the truth of your words sinks in, Lewis and George begin to feel a creeping sense of embarrassment. They’ve let their imaginations and preconceptions run wild, seeing threats where there were none.

“I ... we ...” Lewis stammers, struggling to find the right words.

You hold up a hand, stopping him. “It’s alright. I understand. My reputation precedes me, and you were just looking out for Toto. I can respect that.”

George rubs the back of his neck, sheepish. “We may have gotten a bit carried away. I’m sorry.”

You smile, and this time it reaches your eyes. “Apology accepted. Now, what do you say we put this behind us and focus on winning tomorrow’s race?”

As if on cue, Toto appears, looking between the three of you with curiosity. “Everything alright here?”

You stand, moving to his side and slipping your arm through his. “Everything’s perfect, darling. In fact, I think Lewis and George were just about to share some ideas they had for the race strategy. Weren’t you, boys?”

Lewis and George nod, grateful for the out you’ve given them. As they launch into a discussion about tire management and overtaking opportunities, they can’t help but marvel at how wrong they’ve been.

Watching you interact with Toto, they see not a black widow spinning her web, but a woman genuinely in love, bringing out the best in their team principal. They realize that sometimes, people can surprise you. And sometimes, the most unexpected additions to a team can be the most valuable.

***

The soft glow of chandeliers bathes the exclusive Monégasque restaurant in warm light, casting elegant shadows across the faces of Monaco’s elite. Grigori Volkov, a grizzled veteran of the Russian underworld, sips his vodka, his weathered face a mask of careful neutrality as he surveys the room.

His eyes narrow as they land on a familiar figure across the crowded dining area. It can’t be, he thinks, leaning forward for a better look. But there’s no mistaking that face, those eyes that have haunted his dreams and nightmares for years.

You.

Grigori watches as you laugh, your hand resting lightly on the arm of a tall, distinguished-looking man. He recognizes him vaguely. But what catches Grigori off guard is the easy intimacy between you, the matching wedding bands glinting in the low light.

For a moment, Grigori considers slipping out unnoticed. But curiosity gets the better of him. He signals the waiter, ordering another round of drinks to be sent to your table.

As the waiter approaches with the drinks, Grigori sees your posture stiffen slightly, your eyes scanning the room until they lock onto his. He raises his glass in a small salute, a wry smile playing at the corners of his mouth.

You lean in, whispering something to Toto. The man looks surprised but nods, and together you make your way towards Grigori’s table.

“Grigori,” you greet him, your voice a mix of warmth and wariness. “It’s been a long time.”

Grigori stands, bowing slightly. “Indeed it has, my dear. You’re looking well. And who might this be?”

Toto extends his hand, his grip firm. “Toto Wolff. And you are?”

“An old friend of your wife’s,” Grigori replies smoothly, noting the flicker of surprise in Toto’s eyes at the word ’wife’. “Grigori Volkov. I knew Y/N back in her Russian days.”

You gesture to the empty chairs. “May we join you?”

Grigori nods, waving expansively. “Please, be my guests.”

As you settle in, Grigori can’t help but study Toto more closely. He’s younger than expected, vital and alert. Not at all what he’d imagined for your latest conquest.

“So, Toto,” Grigori begins, his accent thick with amusement, “how long have you and our dear Y/N been married?”

Toto smiles, his hand finding yours on the table. “Just over two years now. Best decision I ever made.”

Grigori’s eyebrows shoot up. “Two years? My, my. That’s quite impressive.”

You shoot him a warning look, but Toto just looks confused. “I’m not sure I follow. Why is that impressive?”

Grigori chuckles, taking a long sip of his vodka. “Oh, forgive me. I just meant that Y/N here has always been something of a ... how do you say ... free spirit? Never one to be tied down for long.”

You interject quickly, “People change, Grigori. I’ve found what I was looking for.”

Grigori nods, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “Indeed they do. And what of your ... other interests? The ones you inherited from dear Dmitri?”

Toto’s brow furrows. “Dmitri? I’m afraid I don’t know much about Y/N’s ex-husbands.”

“Ex-husbands?” Grigori repeats, feigning surprise. “Oh, but Dmitri was special, wasn’t he? After all, not every day one inherits a slice of the Bratva.”

The color drains from Toto’s face as he turns to you. “The Bratva? As in, the Russian mob?”

You sigh, shooting Grigori a glare that could freeze vodka. “It’s complicated, darling. And very much in the past.”

Grigori leans back, thoroughly enjoying the drama unfolding before him. “Oh, come now, Y/N. Surely your husband deserves to know the truth? About your colorful past, your string of deceased husbands, your unexpected rise to power in certain ... shall we say, unofficial circles?”

Toto looks between you and Grigori, his expression a mix of confusion and growing concern. “Y/N, what is he talking about?”

You take a deep breath, squeezing Toto’s hand. “Toto, there are parts of my past I haven’t told you about. Not because I wanted to keep secrets, but because I wanted to leave that life behind.”

Grigori interjects, his voice dripping with false sympathy. “Oh, but my dear, can one ever truly leave such a life behind? Especially when one has risen to such ... prominent positions?”

Toto’s eyes narrow as he looks at Grigori. “And what exactly is your role in all this?”

Grigori smiles, all teeth and no warmth. “Let’s just say I’m an old associate of Dmitri’s. And by extension, of Y/N’s. Though I must admit, I’m surprised to see you still among the living, Mr. Wolff. Our dear Y/N has quite a reputation, you know.”

You slam your hand on the table, your voice low and dangerous. “Enough, Grigori. That’s not who I am anymore.”

Grigori holds up his hands in mock surrender. “Of course, of course. I meant no offense. I’m merely ... surprised. After all, your previous husbands weren’t quite so fortunate. Or so young and vigorous.”

Toto’s jaw clenches, his eyes darting between you and Grigori. “I think it’s time we left.”

As you stand to leave, Grigori calls out, “Oh, but we’ve only just begun to catch up. There’s so much your husband doesn’t know, Y/N. About the power you wield, the empire you inherited. Don’t you think he deserves to know the truth about the woman he married?”

You turn back, your eyes flashing with a mix of anger and something deeper, more dangerous. “The truth, Grigori, is that I left that life behind. I found something real, something worth living for. And if you or anyone else tries to drag me back into that world, you’ll regret it.”

Grigori leans forward, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Is that a threat, my dear?”

You smile, cold and sharp. “Consider it a friendly warning. From one old friend to another.”

As you and Toto walk away, Grigori can’t help but feel a shiver run down his spine. He’d forgotten, in the years since you’d left Russia, just how formidable you could be.

He watches as you and Toto have an intense, whispered conversation by the exit. To his surprise, instead of storming out, Toto nods, takes your hand, and leads you back to Grigori’s table.

“Mr. Volkov,” Toto says, his voice steady and controlled, “I think it’s time we had an honest conversation. About Y/N’s past, about your ... association, and about how we move forward from here.”

Grigori raises an eyebrow, impressed despite himself. “Well, well. It seems you’ve found yourself a man with a spine, Y/N. Very well, let’s talk.”

As the three of you settle back into your seats, Grigori can’t help but feel a grudging respect for Toto. Most men would have run for the hills by now, but here he is, ready to face the truth head-on.

“So,” Grigori begins, pouring fresh vodka for all of you, “where shall we start? With Dmitri? With the Bratva? Or perhaps with the mysterious deaths of Y/N’s previous husbands?”

Toto takes a sip of vodka, his eyes never leaving Grigori’s. “Let’s start with the truth. All of it.”

You sigh, your hand finding Toto’s under the table. “Alright. Dmitri was my fifth husband. He was a high-ranking member of the Bratva, and when he died, I inherited his position and his connections.”

Grigori nods approvingly. “She’s being modest. Y/N didn’t just inherit Dmitri’s position — she expanded it. Forged new alliances, eliminated rivals. She became a force to be reckoned with in our world.”

Toto looks at you, his expression unreadable. “And the other husbands?”

You meet his gaze steadily. “They were all older men, all terminally ill. It was a business arrangement. They got to spend their last months with a young wife, and I got their fortunes. No foul play, I swear.”

Grigori chuckles. “Oh, come now. There were rumors, whispers of poison, of accidents arranged just so ...”

You whirl on him, your eyes flashing. “Rumors started by people like you. People who couldn’t believe a woman could gain power without resorting to murder.”

Toto squeezes your hand, his voice gentle. “Why didn’t you tell me any of this?”

You turn back to him, your expression softening. “Because I wanted to leave it all behind. When I met you, I saw a chance at a real life, a real relationship. I didn’t want my past to taint that.”

Grigori watches this exchange with growing fascination. He’s never seen you like this — vulnerable, open, genuinely in love. It’s... unsettling.

“And now?” He asks, unable to keep the curiosity from his voice. “What becomes of your empire, Y/N? Your power? Your connections?”

You straighten, your voice firm. “I’ve been systematically dismantling it all. Using the resources to fund legitimate businesses, charitable foundations. I’m out. For good.”

Grigori leans back, genuinely surprised. “You’re serious, aren’t you? You’re really walking away from it all.”

Toto speaks up, his voice steady. “We’re building something new together. Something honest, something we can be proud of.”

Grigori studies them both for a long moment, then throws back the last of his vodka. “Well, I’ll be damned. You’ve actually done it. You’ve found a way out.”

You nod, a small smile playing at your lips. “I have. And I’d appreciate it if you’d spread the word. Y/N Wolff is retired. Permanently.”

Grigori stands, straightening his jacket. “Consider it done, my dear. But know this — there will always be those who remember who you were, what you were capable of. Be careful.”

As he turns to leave, Toto calls out, “Mr. Volkov?”

Grigori pauses, looking back. “Yes?”

Toto’s voice is calm, but there’s steel beneath the surface. “If anyone from Y/N’s past tries to cause trouble for us, they’ll have to deal with me. And I assure you, I can be just as formidable as my wife when necessary.”

Grigori studies Toto for a moment, then breaks into a broad grin. “I believe you, Mr. Wolff. I really do. Take care of her, won’t you? She’s one of a kind.”

As Grigori walks away, he can’t help but shake his head in amazement. You, the Black Widow of the Bratva, settled down and in love. Will wonders never cease?

He glances back one last time to see you and Toto deep in conversation, your hands intertwined on the table. There’s an openness to your expression that he’s never seen before, a vulnerability that speaks volumes.

For the first time in years, Grigori feels a twinge of envy. Not for your power or your wealth, but for the genuine connection you seem to have found. As he steps out into the cool Monaco night, he wonders if perhaps it’s time for him to consider a change of his own.

After all, if the infamous Y/N can find redemption and true love, maybe there’s hope for an old dog like him yet.

[ellecdc]

okay then consider this a request!! for poly!marauders or just remus/james/sirius, whatever you prefer, for a reader with excruciating period cramps (self-indulgent because mine are horrible, but whatever!!) if you could do it that would be awesome ily!

ok I'm sorry I really made this very much self indulgent in maybe the worst way ever lol. I've been having a lot of fun with chef!Sirius lately, and had briefly discussed this idea with @maladaptiveescapism a while back so it felt fitting. I've also gotten a lot of period fic requests before and have never been all that interested in them which is so strange seeing as I'm a person who experiences period's and they're really popular? WOW sorry, what a tangent. TL;DR, thanks for your request, sorry if I ruined it a little, I probably won't ever write a period fic again lol

chef!sirius x mixologist!reader who calls in sick to work because of her period [2.9k words]

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5

CW: period fic, reader has PCOS, brief allusion to Sirius' shitty childhood, trans!Reggie agenda 'cause I can, Sirius worried reader won't be accepting of his trans brother (spoiler alert, we are because we love our trans homies), Sirius being the worst (positive & affectionate)

Sirius was on his best behaviour today.

Honest to god, hand to his heart, best behaviour.

But there was truly only so much one bloke could do when they had a Jeffery to deal with.

“I’m going to need one of your staff for the evening.” Jeffery said without preamble; standing half-in the kitchen with the swinging door to the floor propped open as if he wanted to ensure there were witnesses to this conversation should it go sideways.

“Jeffery, do you wake up every morning and smoke a bunch of crack before you come to work, or are you really just this dense?” Sirius spat as he dropped his pan in front of him and fought the urge to turn and give the floor manager a withering glare. 

Jeffery, well seasoned to Sirius’ theatrics, bit back an eye roll as he carried on. “We need someone to cover the bar.”

Sirius did turn at that, but his withering glare fell somewhere between aghast and bemused. “The bar?”

“The bar.”

“Why?”

“I need coverage for Y/N.” Jeffery explained with a sigh, clearly growing tired of Sirius’ line of questioning.

“Where is she?”

“She has called in sick, chef.”

“Sick with what?” Sirius continued, causing Jeffery’s brows to furrow as he stared at Sirius bemusedly. 

“I’m not exactly privy to those details, chef.” He explained slowly as if Sirius were some fussy toddler. 

“I just find it hard to believe that the same woman who left the hospital after getting her shoulder reset to come work a full eight hour shift would call in sick.”

Jeffery offered him a shoulder shrug (and a concerned look up and down that Sirius pretended he didn’t notice) before pilfering one of the kitchen staff for the evening. 

Sirius would worry about hating Jeffery later; he was more focused on figuring out what the hell was wrong with you and why you weren’t coming to see him to work. 

Sirius had his phone wedged between the side of his face and his shoulder whilst he juggled the many go-bags he had in his hands as he stood awkwardly outside of the door to your flat.

He admittedly knew where you lived only because he had driven you home after numerous closing shifts.

Fortunately, the intercom system in the anteroom of your building gave away your unit number.

Unfortunately, Sirius still had his hands full with the various go-bags.

Fortunately, an elderly lady was coming in at the same time and let Sirius into the building. 

Unfortunately, she insisted on chatting his ear off the whole lift ride up and actually held the door open to continue conversing even after they had arrived at her floor.

Sirius’ saving grace came in the form of the lift alarm buzzing for having kept the door ajar too long, and she was forced to bid him farewell. 

Which brought him here; standing outside of your flat like some kind of stalker as he waited for you to pick up your phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey, open your door.”

“Well hello to you too, chef.” You snarked at him again. 

“Yes, yes. I said hey, didn’t I? Open your door.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m standing on the other side of it.” 

There was the sound of a quick exhale and rummaging. “Why?”

“Listen, I’d love to play 20 questions, but do you think you could let me in first?”

You muttered something that sounded an awful lot like a swear before the line ended.

He allowed his phone to slip out of its place and into his awaiting hand when you flung the door open unceremoniously.

Now, Sirius could tell you’d not been expecting any company today; you were in the same clothes you’d likely slept in, your hair was perfectly rumpled from whatever position Sirius had just disturbed you from, and you looked more than a tad embarrassed to see him standing here.

He had sort of hoped you would look like a troll; make this raging flame he carried for you burn a little softer.

But no.

You just had to look ethereal and perfect and lovely and kissable.

Damn woman. 

“What are you doing here?” You finally asked, interrupting the both of you from staring at one another. 

“Helping?”

You made a breathy W sound - as if you were going to ask “what” or “why” but the words died on your lips as you took in Sirius’ many bags. 

“What did you bring?”

“I’ll show you everything if you just let me in.” He muttered as he motioned towards one of your nosey neighbours who had shoved her head out of her door when she first heard Sirius in the hall.

You peered around your doorframe and narrowed your eyes at her before allowing Sirius entry. 

“Finally.” Sirius teased as he moved to place his bags on your kitchen island. 

Sirius had never seen the inside of your flat, but if he had simply stumbled into your space by accident he would have known it was yours immediately. 

There was something so intrinsically you about your space that Sirius immediately felt at home too, even just for having stepped inside. 

“Sorry.” You chuckled somewhat awkwardly; bringing one of your hands to the back of your neck as you considered Sirius and all of his bags. “We’d just been watching some shows.”

Sirius immediately felt his heart fall out of his arse.

We? 

Had he read this completely wrong? Were you seeing someone? Was your home not simply yours, but one that you shared?

He found himself suddenly feeling quite defensive over your flat; it was too lovely, too wonderful, too comfortable for simply just anyone to enjoy.

“We?” He asked suddenly; tone taking on a bit of an edge he didn’t intend or consent to.

You cocked an eyebrow at him and pointed behind you with your thumb; Sirius followed your gesture to a little tabby cat perched on the back of your sofa, tilting its head at the two of you as if it, too, was confused by Sirius’ sudden intonation. 

“You were watching shows with your cat?” He clarified; his voice now breathy in relief. 

“Birdie loves shows.” You countered defensively. 

“You named a cat bird?”

“No.” You argued. “I named my kitten Birdie. Do you not like cats?” You asked then, a teasing smirk growing on your face. 

“I like cats fine; where can I put this?” He asked instead; hoping to god you didn’t notice the blush heating up his face. 

He started unloading the many take-away boxes he’d prepared for you at the restaurant before skiving off the rest of his shift.

“What is this?”

“Food.”

“Sirius, why did you-”

“I asked what helped.” Sirius explained. “You said food; I brought food. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed yet dollface, but food is kind of my thing.”

“Smartass.”

“That too.” He replied with a wink, moving to put the desserts in your fridge. 

“Did you seriously come all the way over here just to bring me food?” You asked disbelievingly as you joined Sirius at the counter and peered into the bags.

Sirius had to tamp down the giddiness that threatened to consume him at how sweet and domestic this felt; you clad in your comfies as you helped him unload groceries. 

“I didn’t come all the way over here just to bring you food…I brought other stuff too.” 

“‘Course you did.” You muttered quietly, looking at Sirius with a look in your eyes that he couldn’t quite decipher.

“Go lay down.” He ordered instead as he went about plating your food - opening cabinets at random until he found what he was looking for. “I don’t hear laying down!” He sing-songed when he saw you still  standing in his periphery. 

You harrumphed before acquiescing; picking up your cat who made a little brrp sound as if to second Sirius’ directions. 

Finally content with his efforts, he moved to stand in front of you with a glass of water and some pasta he brought from work. 

You made an appreciative hum and sat up, which seemed to displease Birdie greatly. “God, maybe I need to find myself a personal chef.”

“Oi! Don’t go replacing me now.” Sirius scolded as he perched himself on your coffee table - perhaps a little casual for being a first time (uninvited) guest in someone’s home - but you didn’t seem to mind.

“Oh the job is so yours chef; you’re welcome here anytime.” You said around a mouthful of food. And even though Sirius knew you were joking, he couldn’t help the giddy fluttering of his heart at the sentiment. 

“This is really good, Sirius, and super thoughtful; thank you.” You offered earnestly. 

“So I guess you don’t have any room for dessert, then?” He asked teasingly; his taunting smirk melting away immediately at the excitement that took over your face before he ran to retrieve it for you. 

“Why is she doing that?” Sirius asked after a while, gesturing towards Birdie with his chin who was rubbing her head against the leg of his pants.

“Why’s she doing what?” You asked bemusedly as Sirius fought every urge to wipe the little bit of chocolate from your upper lip. Unfortunately thankfully for him, you licked it out of his sight. 

“Head butting me; seems quite rude.” Sirius murmured as he watched the cat in bemusement. 

“That’s basically a cat hug, Sirius; she’s hugging you, or saying hello.” You chuckled at him.

“Get out.” He scoffed in disbelief. 

“Cats have little scent markers in their cheeks; when they rub against something, they’re affectionately claiming it as their own.”

“So like a dog pissing on trees?” He deadpanned.

“Affectionately claiming you as their own; offer her your hand, Sirius.”

“But what if she-”

“Chef, offer her your hand.” You barked at him with no heat. 

Sirius narrowed his eyes challengingly at you but did as he was told; pleasantly surprised when the cat moved the rubbing from his trousers to his hand. 

“Have you never met a cat before?” You asked as you considered him.

“No…I have.” Sirius offered slowly, admittedly enjoying the velvety soft fur of your little companion. 

“Could’ve fooled me.” You teased as you placed your now empty dish on the side table. 

“My family had a cat growing up; a horrid thing. I swear to god my mum taught him how to attack me. Loved my brother though, but was nasty as all get out to anyone else.” 

“Really? Was he a stray before he lived with you?”

“Nope.” Sirius offered with a pop of the p. “Raised that fucker from kittenhood. Lived a god awful long time too, just to spite me; I wished every year on my birthday that it would die.”

“Sirius!”

“I’m not joking! My brother and I would sneak cupcakes up to my room and he’d light a candle for me and tell me to make a wish. One of them was always ‘please for the love of god let Kreacher die before me’.” He didn’t think now was the time to admit that his other wish was always ‘please for the love of god let us make it out of here alive’. 

“That’s awful; you’re awful.” You laughed. 

“No, Kreacher was awful; I was but a boy.”

“I can’t believe you got after me for naming my cat Birdie when you had a cat named Kreacher.” 

“I didn’t have a cat named Kreacher, my brother did.” He responded haughtily. 

“Who named him?”

“I did.”

“Why?” You laughed again. 

“‘Cause he was a tiny, awful, hateful little gremlin and needed a name that said as much!” 

The two of you laughed until your hands migrated to your abdomen and you began massaging into your skin; a small divot appearing between your brows.

“What is it?” Sirius asked quietly then.

You tried to shake your head and offered him a tight smile. “S’okay.”

“Is it cramps?”

“Yeah.”

“Lie back.” He instructed as he stood from his seat on the coffee table - his mother would be rolling in her grave if she’d seen him with such a lack of manners.

Good.  

“Sirius, really, you’ve-”

“Lie back.” He whispered again, one hand on your shoulder as he gently guided you so that you were lying along your sofa with your head propped up on the armrest.

Stealing himself for perhaps embarrassing himself completely and making this whole precarious situation between the two of you go tits up, he finally shucked off his jacket and boots before rolling up the sleeves of his shirt and lowering himself onto the bottom half of your couch.

You watched silently as Sirius situated himself between your legs so that his shoulders and head rested on your abdomen as he weaselled his arms under your back, placing both of his palms up against your lower back.

“Relax.”

“What?”

“You’re tense as shit, doll; relax.” He murmured as he rested his cheek against your stomach.

You let out a breath and sank further into the couch as the two of you fell into comfortable silence.

“Thank you.” You whispered after a few moments.

“You already thanked me.” He whispered back.

“No, I-” You cut yourself off as you gathered your thoughts; a tentative hand absentmindedly making itself at home in his hair as you found your words. “Thank you.” You settled on.

“You’re welcome.” Sirius offered.

“Where’d you learn this?”

Sirius propped his chin up so he could at you; your hand pausing as your eyes flit to it as if you were only now realising what you’d been doing. “Learn what?”

“The pressure? The body heat. The…helping, with cramps?” You asked tentatively, and if Sirius didn’t know better, he’d think you perhaps looked a touch bashful at your questions - your eyes seemingly incapable of meeting his. 

And once again, Sirius found himself taking another jump, or rather, a complete leap of faith that could very well have this thing the two of you had been building crumble and fall before it even had a chance to start.

“Uhm, it was my brother, actually.” He admitted quietly.

Your eyes did finally meet his at that, where they narrowed a touch in confusion.

“You learned this….from your brother?” 

Sirius nodded as he swallowed nervously. “Right. He uhm, well, it often helped him with his cramps and such, so…yeah.” 

It was apparently his turn to be incapable of meeting your eyes as he moved his head so that it was resting against your stomach again.

“You’re a good brother.” You finally offered.

“Well of course I am.” Sirius offered through a breath of relief. “I’m good at everything I do.” 

“You’re a git.”

“I’m good at that too.”

You gave a disciplinary tug at Sirius’ hair which made him think of several sinful things he’d like to be doing with you whilst you did that next time, but he simply chuckled and sank further into you.

“I didn’t exactly sit like this with him, mind you.”

“No? What does that make me, then?”

“Special.” 

“I guess so.” You breathed out through a chuckle. “Coming over on your day off just to spoil me.”

“It wasn’t my day off.” He responded without thinking, tensing when he felt you suck in a breath.

“Sirius.”

“Mhm?” He offered in faux nonchalance.

“You left work for this!?”

“For you?” He asked as he considered you. “Absolutely.”

“For gods sake, Sirius. I bet Jeffery-” 

But he never got to hear what you thought of Jeffery as he let out a very petulant and dramatic groan and lowered his forehead to your stomach. 

“Babe, I know this isn’t exactly the same thing, but generally a man does not want to hear the name of another bloke when he’s in between your legs, yeah?”

You barked out a laugh and swatted at his shoulder. “You’re awful.”

“Terrible.”

“The worst.”

“Absolutely horrid.”

“Giving Kreacher a run for his money.”

Sirius’ head shot up at that as he levelled you with a warning glare. “Too far.”

“I’m sorry.” You laughed, not sounding particularly sorry at all.

“You better be.” Sirius grumbled as he lowered himself back down. “Now be a doll and play with my hair again; it’s nap time.”

And there was an equal chance that you were going to laugh, swat at him, or downright tell him to get his arse back to work.

But Sirius was admittedly overjoyed when you simply placed your fingers back into his hair and began to massage until you fell asleep; him not much longer after you.

[girlfromthecrypt]

Note: This is merely a pitch introduction post. Work on this IF will only properly start once Such Happy Campers is complete. A demo is not imminent. The working title is Reggie on the Run, but will most likely be changed.*

Story: You, an individual only known as Reggie Reese, are a criminal in the late 1800s. You find yourself stuck in a jail in Yellowhill, Letitia, where you are to be tried for your transgressions. Fortunately for you, a member of a prolific and feared local gang is brought in the same day. When the outlaw’s associates swoop in to rescue them, you too are given another chance at freedom. Before you know it, you are inducted into the strange and unusual band, most of whom appear to possess supernatural abilities.

Only, you were never exactly normal either…

Play as Reggie Reese (based on your choice of gender, this can either be “Regina”, “Reginald”, or simply “Reggie”, if you’re not one for the binaries)

Choose from four possible backgrounds that also determine the cause for your arrest! Play as a violent drunk, a highwayman or thief. More backgrounds may be added later

You have telepathic powers! Yay! Now, how to use that to get money…

Pick and name a horse from a selection of various breeds and personalities, bond with and care for it!

Face horrors beyond comprehension, and possibly end up saving the world

redeem yourself or become worse

Inspirations: Blood Meridian, Butcher��s Crossing, Red Dead Redemption 2, Lonesome Dove, and of course the actual Old West.

The Cast:

“Doc” — The Leader: You don’t know his real name. You don’t know where he came from. There are whispers about him having escaped from an exploitative freak show, though he’s certainly not forthcoming with any information. The one thing you do know is that he saved your life.

Age: 42

Power: Healing

Personality: Polite and kind (at least at first glance). Well-read and highly intelligent, idealistic.

Romanceable: Yes, for MCs of all genders.

Horse: Silksong, a palomino Mustang.

Isaiah Wilder — The Berserker: A behemoth of a man who’s draw is as quick and deadly as his fists. You have never encountered anyone as bloodthirsty or as dogged as him. He ensures people fear the gang, and should intimidation prove insufficient, he’ll delight in mending that. 

Age: 37

Power: Superhuman strength and zombie-like constitution

Personality: Caring to the gang, absolutely heartless to everyone else. Brutal, cunning.

Romanceable: Yes, for female MCs (why you’d want to romance a literal monster is your deal)

Horse: Black Phillip, a black Missouri Foxtrotter.

Margaret Malloy — The Black Widow: Thrice married, thrice widowed. Her husbands have a tendency to throw themselves off of cliffs, it seems. What exactly she’s hiding behind her ready smile is for her to know and you to find out… at your own peril, that is. She often acts as a decoy for the gang.

Age: 33

Power: Persuasion

Personality: Harmoniously cheerful and sweet, with a love for all things shiny. 

Romanceable: Yes, for male and male-presenting MCs (you’ve been warned)

Horse: Freckle, a Leopard Appaloosa.

Hilda Heinrichs — The One Who Dances in the Creek: She’s a strange, strange woman. Perhaps the strangest you’ve ever met. A former prostitute, she fell in with Doc after he treated a gunshot wound she sustained after attempting to steal from a suitor. Oftentimes, she’s off in another world— literally.

Age: 30

Power: Spectral awareness

Personality: Hard to grasp. Her temper changes at the drop of a hat, like she’s a force of nature. But she’ll happily entertain the others by playing her banjo.

Romanceable: Yes, for MCs of all genders

Horse: Virginia, a white Shire.

Francisco “Fran” Perez — The Gambler: He doesn’t talk much, barely at all, really. Maybe he doesn’t like you… or maybe he simply prefers the quiet. He’s eerily good at gambling, and even better at cheating people out of their money. His abilities are invaluable to the gang; he sniffs out most of their jobs for them.

Age: 26, the youngest of the gang

Power: Precognition

Personality: Calm, quiet, wary of strangers. Funny guy, once you get to know him.

Romanceable: Yes, for MCs of all genders

Horse: Cielo, a brown and white Pinto with striking blue eyes.

The Strange Lady— ??: She hangs around a lot. You don’t know what to make of her.

Age: ??

Power: ??

Personality: Confusing.

Romanceable: No

*MC is gender-selectable, but has a locked-in name. The canon reason for this is that MC’s name, Reggie Reese, is an alias, and that MC keeps their true name a secret (at least from the public). The game is set in a largely fictionalized version of the Wild West. There are a great many parallels to actual historical events, but to avoid writing about still-existent locations and organizations (among other things), I have taken some liberties with worldbuilding. Also, it’s fun to pick fictional town and state names, for example Letitia and Yellowhill. 

TW: gore, discussions of trauma, ptsd, c-ptsd, mentions of SA and related trauma, mentions of period-typical prejudice and sexism, morally gray characters depending on how you play, downright homicidal characters, sex work. 

Dividers by @plum98

So. What y'all think?

[thew1tchinghours]

We don’t talk enough about how funny Nana Rose Blossom is. Her allegiances and motivations are an enigma. In season 5 jughead came to her and asked “you ever seen any aliens?” and she said “yeah here’s an alien corpse I’ve been keeping in a barrel of maple syrup knock yourself out” and when he came back episodes later and asked “hey what was up with that alien corpse” she was like “oh lmao that was just my inbred cousin Timothy” like she literally knew what was going on the whole time she’s so goofy.

In season 6 she decides Cheryl is too busy being a tragic lesbian to restore the Blossom family back to power so she resurrects Abigail Blossom to permanently possess Cheryl’s body. But it soon becomes clear that Abigail is also a tragic lesbian and the minute she’s mean to her, Nana Rose switches sides again and plots with Britta to free Cheryl and imprison Abigail in a haunted doll

Also in season 5 she sold the maple groves that her family’s century old fortune is built upon to Hiram because Reggie flirted with her once. No one is doing it like her I’m obsessed

[tailschannel]

IDW celebrates Amy Rose's 30th Anniversary with brand new one-shot issue

Here's your first look at Amy Rose's 30th Anniversary, the upcoming Sonic the Hedgehog one-shot issue from IDW Publishing coming this autumn.

"Cool, sweet, and pink! All words that describe our absolute favorite hedgehog," read the official description.

That’s right, step aside, Sonic, and have no fear, Amy Rose is here! Ian Flynn, Aaron Hammerstrom, and Reggie Graham are back for another Classic Sonic special! And this time, Amy’s doing the saving! After Metal Sonic interrupts her picnic, Amy uses her Fortune Cards as a guide to free her friends and stop Doctor Eggman. Can she save the day and still get back in time for tea?!

Author: Ian Flynn

Illustrator: Aaron Hammerstrom

Cover A: Aaron Hammerstrom

Cover B: Mauro Fonseca

Retailer incentive cover: Jennifer Hernandez

[oxyvouge]

ੈ never have i ever kissed you. ✩‧₊˚

summary: wherein you, the marauders, lily, marlene and regulus played the muggle game "Never Have I Ever."

━━ ✦ pairing(s): marauders, lily, marlene and regulus x fem! reader

━━ ✦ warning: kissing

━━ ✦ word count: 1.3k

author's note: lets just pretend they have a high tolerance or theyre a lil affected by it cuz i forgot to write it down there 😭. btw sirius and reggie r on good terms here and also — ITS DANE DEEHAN'S PETER AND I CANNOT NOT ADD HIM WHEN HE'S HOT 😭😭😭😭

THE MARAUDERS, a few other friends, and you gathered in the common room, forming a circle for a muggle game Lily called "Never Have I Ever." The concept piqued your interest; it was something entirely new to you and sounded like you would have a good time especially when you heard how the game works.

But before that you, Sirius, Peter, and Lily went to the kitchens to take some snacks, glasses, and a few bottles of firewhisky for this and went back to the common room where the others were waiting and circled.

Lily initiated the round, her eyes scanning each person in the circle. "Never have I ever," she began, a mischievous glint in her eyes, "tasted the poop flavor in Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans." Laughter erupted as James, Remus, and a few others reached for the firewhisky and took a drink. Sirius and you couldn't help but burst into laughter too, sympathizing with their unfortunate experiences.

"It was bloody awful! Feels like I was gobbling up Pads' poop by mistake." James wrinkled his nose, wincing as the firewhisky blazed its way down his throat. Sirius burst into laughter, but his chuckles abruptly halted as James' comment hit his ears and you choked on your saliva. With a flushed face, Sirius playfully smacked James on the back, eliciting a groan from him. "Fuck."

The empty glasses clinked as they were refilled, the game continuing with fervor. Seated next to Lily, Marlene was thinking of what to ask. "Never have I ever lost my chocolate frog and found it in front of a teacher." Peter drank his firewhisky.

"I remember this!" You exclaimed with a chuckle, clutching a treacle tart. "Peter lost his chocolate frog while going inside the castle from Hogsmeade and tried to go after it only for it to end up in Professor McGonagall's palms. Then, she gave it to Peter and Peter ate it after brushing the dirt away."

Remus took his turn, a playful glint in his eyes. "Never have I ever been caught by Filch while out of bed after curfew." The Marauders, excluding Remus and including you, raised their glasses to their lips, taking hearty swigs of firewhisky.

Lily's eyebrows arched curiously, her gaze shifting toward you. "Even you, Y/N?" You shrugged with a sheepish grin, caught in the act. "What were you up to?"

You intended to avoid the question, but Marlene piped up, unable to resist the urge to share, "Oh, it's either she's setting up pranks with them," She gestured towards the infamous Black and Potter duo, who responded with knowing smirks, "Or she's engaged in some secret snogging rendezvous with Black."

"Which Black are we talking about here?" You countered mischievously, casting an amused glance at both brothers.

"Both," Marlene replied with an air of nonchalance, earning a round of chuckles from the group, a coughing Regulus, and a shock i-don't-know-what-to-say-i-feel-betrayed Sirius.

The blonde female had frequently stumbled upon them in rather compromising situations. On various occasions, it happened to be you and Regulus emerging from a cupboard, catching Marlene on her way to class. The sight of you and the younger boy with tousled hair, swollen lips, and flushed cheeks was hard to miss. Marlene also vividly remembered the time she stumbled upon you and Sirius, who were well on their way to shagging, both only partially clothed and entangled on the bed. Fortunately — for Marlene's case — she barged in before all the rest of their garments were thrown on the floor and preventing further embarrassment.

Honestly, who could really blame her? It wasn't her decision to conduct such activities within a shared dorm room, where other roommates also resided.

Marlene's cheeks heated as memories replayed in her mind. She shook her head, murmuring, "It's a traumatic experience."

Seated between you and Remus, Sirius wore a knowing smirk, mischief glinting in his eyes. Your heart fluttered as you felt a tinge of nervousness, his transparent mischievousness making you uneasy. "Never…" He began, his words causing a slight stumble in your breath as he continued, "have I ever kissed Y/N." Once more, you found yourself momentarily taken aback, a surprised reaction escaping you.

Sirius' gaze swept across the group, his smirk growing as he met each person's eyes, enjoying their reactions. With a feeling of delightfulness, he snatched the bottle of firewhisky and took a victorious swig. Nearby, Regulus raised an eyebrow, his amusement detached yet evident, as he took a casual sip of his own firewhisky. "Just u—" He began, his sentence left hanging in the air, a smirk curving his lips.

Lily roll her eyes and playfully retort, "Trying to embarrass everyone now, are we? Well, I can't say I'm surprised. Cheers to your boldness, I suppose." She then took a sip of her firewhisky, shaking her head with a mix of amusement and annoyance at Sirius' antics.

"Wait a second — everyone?" Sirius exclaimed, his tone a mix of disbelief and amusement. Marlene couldn't contain herself and erupted into laughter, finding the situation utterly comical. With a gleeful grin, she grabbed the firewhisky and took a big gulp. "Even McKinnon? Seriously, Y/N, how did you do it?" Sirius continued, his smirk growing wider.

Observing the scene, Remus couldn't help but roll his eyes playfully, his expression a blend of exasperation and fondness. He reached for his firewhisky and took a measured sip, his gaze briefly locking with yours.

You nonchalantly replied. "She was asking me to teach her how to kiss — who am I to refuse?" Peter let out a nervous chuckle and take a small sip of firewhisky.

As Sirius noticed the sip Peter took, his eyebrows arched mischievously. He glanced at you and exchanged an amused look with Lily. Lily, her curiosity piqued, raised an eyebrow and inquired, "Even Peter?" Her surprise was evident, the corners of her lips twitching in a mixture of astonishment and amusement.

All eyes turned to James, who met their gaze with an intrigued quirk of his eyebrow. His gaze then shifted to you, his lips curling into a mischievous grin as he leaned back in his chair. "Looks like I've fallen a bit behind, haven't I?" he mused, a glint of determination lighting up his eyes.

In a flash, he rose from his seat, a confident swagger in his step as he dropped down to one knee in front of you. His presence felt magnetic as he leaned closer, his hand gently cupping your cheek, and before you could fully process the moment, his lips met yours in a quick, playful kiss.

The room was filled with a collective gasp as all eyes turned to both of you as James pulled back, a triumphant smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. James then took the bottle of firewhisky from Sirius and chugged the remaining liquid down.

A mixture of shock, amusement, and admiration swept across their faces. Lily's jaw dropped slightly and twitching into an amused smile. Remus's eyebrows shot up, his usual composed demeanor momentarily replaced by astonishment. Sirius's playful grin widened into genuine surprise, and even Peter seemed momentarily stunned, his mouth hanging open. Marlene let out an excited whoop, her surprise quickly turning into enthusiastic cheers. Regulus raised an eyebrow, a subtle flicker of being taken aback swept across his features.

James' smirk softened into a warm grin as he glanced at you, his eyes locking onto yours for a heartbeat before he turned back to the others. "Honestly, Prongs." You stated recovering from your surprised state with a fond smile tugging on your lips.

A mischievous glint danced in Marlene's eyes as she playfully nudged Sirius with her elbow. "Seems like you're not the only one stealing the show tonight, Black."

A warm chuckle rumbled from Remus as he shook his head, a genuine fondness reflecting in his gaze. "You've outdone yourself, Prongs."

Even Regulus's typically stoic expression softened, a subtle twitch at the corner of his mouth betraying his amusement. "Quite the move," he conceded.

you can make a request here where you'll be guided by the guidelines and check out the masterlist.

[soshadysoquiet]

An attempt to salvage S4, for your delectation. S4E6

And so we end. Watch my brain check out repeatedly trying to make sense of how the subway could work.

EPISODE 6:

Flashback to Five: Initially paranoid interactions with siblings post arriving in new timeline, trying to break into Reggie’s house, snooping around, waking siblings in the middle of the night to talk about increasingly wild conspiracies. Gradually, that eases, as he’s taken along on his siblings lives - there’s a baby, there’s Ben occasionally showing up to rub his fortune in their faces, there’s jobs and houses and relationships that he experiences in various states of sobriety and sanity. He sees opportunities in the library during his conspiracy investigations for programs to get GED and further education - he can become a real person, someone who exists outside of the apocalypse. So he does, but the space where it’s quiet in his mind gets filled with the Apocalypse, the deaths of his siblings, the paranoia. When Five’s with fam he’s fine, when he’s not, he drinks, sometimes it's both. He gets entrance tests to college/uni and gets a degree and gets hired all in record time - he’s busy. But when he’s not, when it’s back to the room of whichever sibling he’s bunking with or later in a string of short-term rental rooms, it’s the past - and he drinks. He drinks so he can sleep.

In present time we see Five and Lila tracking across the Apocalypse, she’s coaxing him, not far to go etc, he’s clinging onto her bruisingly and in a panic state but he keeps going. They keep going, through flashbacks of his siblings bodies, of images of himself starving, raving, crying. All the while keeping hold of sanity by Lila’s hand and arm clutched with his. They enter the subway, it all goes quiet, and he drops to the floor like a stone. Lila kneels down and holds him, saying they’ve made it, Five can just be heard mumbling ‘I know’ as he holds onto her very real body like a lifeline.

Viktor is shouting for Ben to try and control it, the Horror is going wild, Ben is terrified and in pain as the dark light seems to be swallowing him but allowing more and more of the Horror. Viktor is having to blast away some tentacles and is saying ‘sorry sorry’ to Ben and that he doesn’t want to hurt him. Jennifer is cowering and murmuring horrified phrases to herself.

Allison, Klaus and Reggie have heard the Horror’s roaring as it comes to life, its tentacles are bursting out of the academy and killing members of the Keepers. Reggie is shouting that they need to let him act and that Allison’s rumour is going to get everyone killed. Klaus just says to zip it Reggie and calls Dave, who says what’s happened and happening. Klaus makes him corporeal enough to go help protect Viktor, Allison rumours away The Keepers, but there’s pandamonium, she has to order people to help evacuate everyone as Klaus is summoning Ghosts to try and reign in the Horror and Abigail and Reggie say at the same time that ‘it’s too late.’

In the subway, they’re looking at the map Lila found in the subway Vs Five’s city map. They’re seen over a period of time debating, drawing all over the floor and walls, arguing, stopping each other from getting on the trains that are coming through, Lila re-focusing Five from looking back at the apocalypse, her going back up to relay the symbols from the front of the subway down to him instead of him going up. Gradually, after nearly a day, they have grouped together the stations by the symbols on the maps and trying to work out what the backwards-sounding announcements are saying.

Each train line is a different colour. Each station is a real place in the city. There are 43 coloured lines. The lines might intersect per station, end there, spawn multiple of the same colour or enter the station with multiples of the same colour and leave with less. Each station seems to be a disruption point in the Timeline. The circled symbols had a coloured background that related to one of the 43 line colours.

They go back to there being 43 children, if the line colour represents a different one of them, and at least one of the lines to This station has to be Five’s line.

So they just have to find the one that’s Ben’s line, follow that and see what we need to change. - They decide, and hop on a line.

Reggie and Abigail have a confrontation: R - you did this? A- I did what you should have prepared our children for all along! R- They’re hardly our children. Abigail says why not? They were born from my science, my work and then you raised them, and all you had to do was show them love. Love? He scoffs. Love doesn’t solve anything, it didn’t save you, in fact preserving you on the Moon clearly had an adverse effect on you, the woman I love would never have caused the end of a world! Abigail retorts that Love might not save the day, but it can save how you handle the day. Reggie doesn’t have a good comeback.

Allison and Klaus reach Viktor as the Horror is growing to the size go the room, Ben can’t be seen and Viktor is crying in a protective bubble of power, Dave has saved Jennifer in the corner and is getting her closer. Allison and Klaus shout where Ben is but Viktor can only point to the ben-size portal on the floor that is smothered with writhing tentacles and rapidly growing. Allison and Klaus are deeply upset but still focus on pulling Viktor out because the walls are becoming unstable as the Horror tries to escape the building it’s confined in as surely as the body it was previously.

In the subway Lila and Five are standing on the platform as they get off the latest train, both look a little worse for wear. Five is ruling out the colour of Luther’s lines along with a handful of others they’ve found - either naming them or numbering them if they’re members of the 43 they haven’t met. Lila is looking exhausted as they get on the train. Five checks what’s wrong, she is deadened as she says ‘it’s been six days. it's the longest I've been without them'. Five replies that compared to the apocalypse this is nothing, they’re making progress. Lila’s face crumples - she says what if they don’t make it back, if they don't fix this, then she’ll never be seeing her family again, Diego again, that they’re all she ever wanted and she’ll have lost them chasing adventure in the subway.

She starts to cry, and Five comforts her as the train sets off, holding her. Says they’ll make it home, we’ll be with our family. She says how can you know? He says because I won’t give up, and neither will you, they’re our family after all, and we can save them. Lila clings to him, manages to get herself back together and they exit the subway

Outside the subway there are screams as The Horror rips across the city. Lila isn’t laughing any more. The Horror’s sheer mass consumes the world around it through an immense portal. Guess we’ve found Ben’s timeline. Five says, Lila sob-laughs a bit, awestruck by the sight, and they retreat to find a different starting point for Ben’s line.

Diego and Luther swing by Diego’s house, they’ve picked up Claire from home and turn up along with Pogo, Sloane and Grace - there’s some time assuring the family, Diego hugging his kids, Luther and Sloane are having a debate on whether she wants to help the fight or stays here too. Grace meets them all pleasantly, and though they’re shocked at Pogo they accept him. Claire is made to stay there and that Pogo and Grace will help keep them safe. Sloane goes with them as they leave.

Reggie and Abigail are staring at the scene as Diego, Luther and Sloane turn up, and the other three are just escaping the house with Dave and Jennifer. (They all are shocked but pleased to see Sloane, Allison straight away hugs her. Klaus introduces Dave to Diego and Luther. Diego, in particular, says heard a lot about you man.)

They gather, and Five and Lila pop up-looking banged up. They look at the scene and comment that they guess it’s too late for Plan A. (Diego and Lila reunion) (Klaus re-intro Dave and Sloane saying hi until Reggie snaps at them all to please do focus!)

Others ask what they’ve found, they say that in every timeline, all of them, once the pair touch either Ben or Jennifer get killed, both do, or the Horror causes the Apocalypse. Five says that they never once think to save both of them after the fact. It’s the only anomaly, the only one that might work.

The others argue that Ben is gone, this thing is out there, that the only way they could survive last time was by killing off the Horror before it had even gotten this far are you telling us there was a way to save Ben all along? Five says there is, with her- points to Jennifer. She created the reverse portal, but if she was on the other side of that portal, then she could swap it back. Viktor -who had been silent before, looking at Abigail who is smiling- pipes up but how do we get there, Five says that luckily, Jennifer and Ben aren’t the only portals around, and gestures to himself.

The others kick up a fuss, that he’ll get trapped, he says not necessarily, besides it’s do or die people.

Reggie pipes up that they’d still have to prevent Jennifer and Ben from ever touching the Horror again, how will they do that if they’re alive. Viktor, breaking Abigail’s gaze, says that he can take their marigolds, once the swap is done, that without their powers they’ll live, but they’ll be safe. He's done it before.

Luther says that Ben would hate that.

More than being stuck where that thing came from? Viktor asks. They debate whether Jennifer will even help her, Five points out that they won’t need her to agree, so long as they take her with and bring Lila.

Lila says she doesn’t want to leave her fam or Diego though, that she’s done that once already and hasn’t seen them for two weeks now, she needs to be on this side protecting them - Diego soothes her, says that he won’t make her, he’ll go with Five and hold Jennifer at knife point if he needs to, but that if she does want to, he’d feel better with this plan knowing she was there with his brothers, because he trusts her, even if that scares him. Says can you trust me when I say I’ve already made sure our family are protected? She says she can, that she’d feel safer knowing that he was still here, fighting to protect them whilst she was away.

Allison says neither of them need to go, she will, her powers won’t help out here they didn’t do much the first time, but that she can make sure Jennifer plays ball, She's not letting the Horror kill her daughter. Jennifer pipes up saying will it help if she says she’s going to play ball? They all say no to her.

Viktor is decided as too effective to go to the other side, and might be the only one strong enough to completely blow up the Horror if they fail. Diego and Lila will stay and fight, so will Luther. Klaus says he want’s to go with Five and Allison, that it’s Ben and even if he’s an asshole, well, he’s Ben, there’s some stuff he wants to pay forwards. Allison asks Klaus if he’ll stay instead, so he can look after Claire if anything goes wrong, Diego says he should go with you, we’ll look after Claire they promise, and that Klaus has always known Ben best.

They all agree

So there’s a big fight between Luther, Sloane, Diego, Lila, Viktor and The Horror to hold down the fort.

Five, Klaus, Allison and Jennifer use a Combo of hers and Five’s powers and get pulled into the other side, the Horror’s realm.

It’s a dark ocean of writhing tentacles and they’re dropped into the mess. They can see where Ben is trying to claw at the portal alongside the behemoth body of The Horror, just his fingertips making it through. The horror is unimaginably vast, and its tentacles are poking through holes everywhere they can see - windows through Ben’s stomach into other worlds, all of time and space existing in The Horror’s dimension simultaneously, appearing and disappearing as specks whenever a timeline of Ben uses his powers, but all happening somehow at once.

They cry out to Ben to hold on. He looks up and begs them to help, but sees Jennifer and tries to get away, The Horror’s tentacles are lashing and it's difficult to get to him.

The fight on earth is messy and difficult. Reggie and Abigail die

They struggle to reach Ben who wants Jennifer nowhere near him - he’s exhausted from fighting against The Horror. Klaus and Allison calm him down and ask him to trust them as Five holds Jennifer from accidentally touching the tentacles until Ben agrees, without any rumours. They have Jennifer touch him, and the portal begins reversing.

The team on earth step up their desperate fight as they notice the difference, helping to beat back the Horror further and further.

The team with The Horror are now being inundated with tentacles, Ben thrown around, so they’re struggling to stay together but Klaus manages to float Allison over the water and they grab Jennifer, Five blinks to them. Ben’s in the in the thick of it as the portal reverses, screaming, but even as they other 4 and Dave are all caught and begin getting constricted together by The Horror, Dave holding it from crushing them best he can, Jennifer’s skin being covered by all of them so she won’t make contact with The Horror again, they say they can’t leave Ben here until they know he’s on the other side, so they’re just screaming encouragement at him.

The earth team are wrangling tentacles like pros and all get close enough to grab an emerging Ben with a hand, calling him. It’s only when Sloane grabs him, demands that he come back, she’s not loosing any more family, that his eyes open and he manages to snap the portal shut.

In The Horror’s realm they see Ben vanish, the Horror’s wrath is palpable and Five powers up so that Jennifer can reverse which dimension he moves through, they blink out just before they’d have been squished.

Ben falls into everyone’s arms as the others crash land back. Everyone’s exhausted, injured. Viktor manages to stagger upright enough to grab Ben’s arm. Says you know we have to take it out of you, right? Ben looks around at all of them, who have risked everything. Says ‘take it, I don’t need it anymore.’

Viktor pulls out the marigolds, exhausted, the others ask him to wait before doing Jennifer too, that it’s too much, but Viktor says ‘I’m ending this’ and takes Jennifer’s - he blacks out.

(I’m so tired after writing this that I’ll just say the ending would show them getting back to their lives - happy days!)

I know that a happy ending isn't for everyone but this is my S4 so that's what they're getting! Hope you enjoyed

[reysdriver]

Regulus & Marriage

headcanons about Regulus and his feelings towards marriage and family — regulus x gn!reader

warnings: mentions of his abusive family (but he's left them so yay)

words: 0.4k

- I feel like this has been said before by so many people but Regulus definitely wanted marriage and kids SO BADLY 

- Like Sirius would be against both of them (especially because he's like a punk rocker and a rebel so he hates all institutions like marriage)

- But Reggie would like be on your first date together and he's already thinking of his proposal and what the wedding will be like 

- He keeps a list of future baby names that has dozens of names that pop into his head at all hours of the day

- And same goes for like wedding and proposal ideas, he has a journal where he writes down any ideas he has for your wedding, sketches down possible engagement/wedding rings, and whatever else comes to him 

- If you two date at Hogwarts, he defo tries proposing once there, but you tell him that you should wait until you're older (even though you definitely want him)

- And then he waits basically until you graduate, barely any longer than that 

- He just wants you two to promise that you'll belong to each other forever he loves that type of devoted romance 

- You two also move in together so quickly after graduating

- And he's got that family money so even though he left them, he'll still use the fortune to buy a nice place for you both

- When he proposes for real after graduating, it's elaborate but still super sentimental and intimate 

- Your wedding is similar, like he spares no expense but still keeps it relatively small and does it all for you

- He definitely wants kids as soon as possible, and he wants as many as you'll allow him

- If you don't want kids, he'll settle for pets that he pampers like his own children

- He spoils the hell out of you and your family 

- Will buy everything you could ever need or want, he'll always be there for you because his own family wasn't, he just wants to be the best dad he can possibly be 

- He's sometimes scared he'll turn out like his own parents, but you point out all the amazing things he does and you constantly reassure him that he is nothing like them 

- And you don't need to pretend. He really is the best husband to you and best dad for your kids, just all-around fantastic, kind, loving, and adorable

[1-800-local-whore]

Lucky

Marauders!Sirius Black x Innocent fem!Reader

Lucky - Britney Spears

warnings : sex, arranged marriage, cold husband, suspicion to cheating (no actual cheating), pregnancy-mentioned, angst, hurt, hemophilia, mention of blood, {probably missed something}, no y/n used, no physical description of reader

a/n : my work from wattpad. do not steal, copy, or repost {as in take and claim as your own work}. Enjoy babes.

words : 12k

This is a story about a girl named Lucky

Her whole life, she knew. She knew her adult life was planned out for her, laid down like bricks. Every detail inscribed down to when she would have children and how many. It was something accepted, something she honestly was somewhat excited for.

An arranged marriage was awaiting her, the only problem was to who. That was still a question. It was the same thing that had happened to her parents, all she wished for was it would become the same marriage. Her father was not the best man, he was greedy and always searching for more fortune. But his love for her mother was real.

The marriage had started off very professional but over the time the couple grew to love each other and that blossomed into a real partnership, as if they had been soulmates the whole time. She wanted even just a sliver of that feeling between her and her predetermined husband.

Many bachelors have come along in an endeavor to just have one date with her. She had rejected all of them, mostly because she did not want to become attached just to leave them for a marriage between families. Her schooling years were lonely for that fact, but she had her best friend to lean against. Regulus Black, a boy a few months older than her. The pair had been close ever since their first year. The sorting had placed her in Slytherin and she sat next to him at the table.

Over the years they had spend many hours together, even had sleepovers during Holidays. Everything about their relationship was the definition of platonic. Going to each other about relationship issues (mostly on Reggie's side) and homework (also mostly on his part). Their families encouraged the companionship hardcore, both being from respected pure-blood families. Neither one every being jealous of the other. Strictly best friends, childhood best friends.

In addition to the relations between the young students, came spending time with his older brother. Her and Sirius never had a falling out, rarely ever spoke to each other actually. But the rare occasion they did, it was not unpleasant but she could tell he would have rather been any where else. It would be a lie to say she did not find him attractive. Sirius Black was a very attractive man, just always cold towards her. Always coming off slightly rude with rushed conversation, looking anywhere but at her. Her heart pang with hurt each time, but she would push it down and think about her mystery husband.

What would he be like? Would he be cruel and unkind towards her, resentful even? Or would he cherish her like a delicate flower and look at her like a queen? These questions always flooded her mind. He could be freshly out of school or older than her own father.

"Do you think he's our age Reggie?" she floated into the air, staring at the ceiling from her friends bed.

Regulus was deep in thought, looking down at the question he had just answered. Muttering a "not sure" to her, before asking for a check on the answer.

"No, it's mandrake." She responded flopping back on the bed as he went back to hunching over his desk.

"Why do you even need this class? It has nothing to do with your future?" She continued to question him. And he of course, did not have an answer for her.

The teenagers had finished their last year at Hogwarts the year prior, both deciding to further their education. Regulus was attempting to enter the ministry for a job that she could not ever remember. She had started her training in becoming a healer, caring for people had always come naturally for her so why not make a career out of it.

Their parents had formed a bond with each other because of the two kids. The families were having a small dinner together at the Black residence. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing exciting, plus the best friends got to see each other. They enjoyed each other's company. So much so that many rumors went around school that they had coupled off, which was far from the truth. She had seen this boy with vomit all over his body from partying the night before, cleaned him up too. If any romantic feelings were harbored, well they just were not on either part. They told each other everything, down to the last, little detail.

There was a knock on the door, waiting for Regulus to allow them to come in. Kreacher popped his head into the room, telling them that supper was ready to be served and they were requested to the dining room. They walked down together, laughing at stupidly fond memories of other Slytherins and mishaps that happened at school.

When they make it to the room, their parents are waiting. Father's had the head of the table, mothers chatting across from each other. Regulus sat next her at the table, in the spots the usually occupy, basically giggling to each other. Talking lowly to not be shushed and told to stop fooling around. The group had been waiting some time, food should be out any time now. The doors of the grand room open and close loudly when someone steps through them.

Sirius Black. It was rare he joined them in supper. His leather jacket wrapped around his body as a perfect fit, complimenting his body. She noticed his hair was almost to his shoulders with a slight curl. Nothing really compared to the short, curly hair his brother sported. He looked majestic almost with the way his hair shook as he walked to the chair right in front of her. Boots thumping against the ground each step he took. Her heartbeat seemed like it was mimicking the sounds as he moved closer.

She could also see the slight smudge of red lipstick on the collar of the jacket and the faintest smell of floral perfume. She looked down at her lap, she knew that scent. Nadia Antonov. A gorgeous woman that was the same age as Sirius. She had moved just before Hogwarts from Russia, her accent still held prevalent in her English to this day. She was tall, slim, and pale. She had beautiful dark hair and piercing eyes, breath-taking. She had also been an on and off again girlfriend of Sirius's. One of the two girlfriends she had known he had. She looked down at her plate when he sat down across her, feeling his eyes on her. He was never outright mean to her but she could feel the judgement radiating off him every time they were near each other.

"Glad you decided to join us tonight son." His father spoke uninterested.

"You forced me." Sirius spoke flat.

"Might as well get to it then. Sirius, you and Y/N are getting married soon. Congratulations." His mother spoke quick, clapping her hands together excitedly.

Her eyes widened, looking up from her lap. Immediately at Regulus, who wore an apologetic smile. She was marrying Sirius Black of all people. She transferred her gaze to her parents, the smiles on their face were radiant. Something she could not feel for the person directly across from her. She could practically feel the anger radiating for him.

"Her? HER! Of all people, you give me her?" His voice was somewhat calm, but spit venom.

She refused to look at him, instead opted to pick at the fabric of her skirt near her knee. His words stung enough, she did not need to see the look of disgust he would be wearing as well. The feeling weighted heavy on her chest, her soon-to-be husband's disgust towards her. All types of insecurities filled her, bursting at the seems.

She flinched at the sound of his fists hitting the supper table, eyes squeezing shut tightly to drown out the screaming match between Sirius and his mother. Only picking up bits about how rude he was being and that it wouldn't matter in the end because their decision was final. She tried to reach for Regulus's hand, seeking comfort from him. But he refused, pulling his hand away and sitting back in his seat in a huff of anger.

Sirius began to storm out of the room.

"Weddings in December. Be ready." That was all his father spoke the entire time before moving on to a discussion with her father.

The entire dinner was held in silence only suffocating the two friends, the adults continued as if nothing had happened just prior until they were excused from the table. She followed her friend back up to his bedroom, his steps quick and long. She could barely keep up with him, his irritating sighing doing nothing to help her own feelings. He only turned towards her when they reached the archway into his bedroom.

"You were the one thing I had that he did  not. You were my friend. Now you don't even have a choice. He still gets you, he still gets to steal from me. He has taken anything I have ever gotten, you were something he could not have. You were just supposed to be my annoying best fucking friend." Regulus ranted, blocking the entrance to the room.

"Reggie, I can still be your friend." She was afraid her voice would betray her, it did.

"I..." he huffed "I'm not sure I want something of his."

"Oh."

She nodded in understanding. She knew his feelings towards his brother, very particular about certain things. She was an understanding person, she knew his emotions were high and how well he could communicate them. He just needed time to adjust, they all needed time. But time was against them, December was only a month away. This wedding was going to happen no matter who protested and was going to happen when it was said to. There was no changing anyone's mind. She smiled sadly at her friend before asking him to move so she could collect her things.

"I think it's best if I leave now. I'll see you soon Reg." She spoke quietly with a broken voice. Her attempts to hold back on crying were almost deceiving her.

"No. You don't have to leave.." She cut him off.

"It's okay Reggie, really. It's a big change, everyone needs some time to process it."

With that she walked out of his room, a questionable feeling in her chest. She knew this marriage hurt her friend, after Sirius's outburst it hurt her too. But there was no time for pity, she just had to push through it. She walked to her mother. Both her and Walburga were chatting in a living space. No doubt about the wedding based on the swatches laid along the table in front of them.

"Hello mother, Mrs. Black. Thank you for the wonderful evening. But I must be off, I have an important exam coming up. I look forward to the next time I see you." She wore her best smile, one that gave the facade of happiness.

"As well" Walburga addressed the girl

before moving back to her mother, holding up another poring of colors and went deep into discussion once again.

Early morning, she wakes up

It's time for makeup, perfect smile

That announcement had been over a month ago. Today was the day of the wedding. It was a month built in isolation, she had not seen Sirius since, or really even Regulus. If it had not been for her healer classmates, she would have not spoken to anyone the entire time. Her world has been a quiet chaos, overwhelming her with no sign of stopping for a long time. The lonely feeling lodging itself deep into her chest, stuffing up her throat without a centimeter of air to flow through.

Her mother had her woken up early, barely past dawn. The wedding was not for hours, but she started prepping the event. She went into the bathroom to an already filled tub, steam rolling of the porcelain tub. The bathroom was honestly the only place she had recently for peace. Stripping out of her pajamas, she dipped into the scorching water, letting the water take over her body. The heat felt amazing against her stresses body.

She wordlessly flicked on the radio she had on the counter. With closed eyes, she relaxed into the water with an earful of "Try A Little Tenderness" by Otis Redding. It had been a favorite of her song and even musician since she was a little girl, dreaming about her very own wedding that was only hours away now. She was not really dreading the wedding per se, everything was just extremely stressful. Soaking in the water was a must have for today. She hummed along to the beat, running water along her arms with a soaped cloth.

She scrubbed her head, trying to cleanse the self doubt away. She did not want today to be miserable, but she feared that was out of her grasp. Dunking herself, water rushed filling her ears. Making her feel as physically heavy as she had been emotionally. Coming up only for a gasp of air before quickly submerging again. It had finally come time to step from the safety of her tub, only when her mother knocked relentlessly letting her know her time was running out.

The entire day was spent pampering, trying to get everything perfect to the finest detail. She would be officially wed in four hours, the finishing touches were placed on her face. Staring back in the mirror, it felt like someone else in her shoes. Not that it was a bad thing, she felt confident and beautiful, especially once her hair was pulled and pinned in a way that looked ethereal. This was the girl her younger self always pictured would be standing at the alter, dolled up in a white dress.

Stepping into the dress felt unreal, especially once it was completely zipped up on her body. The long, solid sleeves clung to her arms before cutting off at the wrists. The collar sitting lower on her chest, just enough for her collarbones to be on display. The neckline V'd towards the center of the chest, hugging at the waist before flowing outwards as the fabric reached the floor. The dress was fitted perfectly and made her feel like a real princess, like a queen.

The "couple" were to be wed in Black manor, which sort of stresses her out. The last time she had entered that place, nothing good came of it. But she was optimistic about today. Ready for it to bring new opportunities and chances. She arrived a few hours before with her mother, again touching up her makeup and hair before slipping on her white heels and giving herself a once over again in the mirror. 'Ready as I'll every be' she thought, wiping her sweaty hands down the side of her dress. She sat at the vanity waiting for the time to come.

She really had no say in anything about the wedding. Her only suggestion was to include the gold color, not because she wanted it to look or be expensive. The color relaxed her, the shininess gave a weird comfort. 'The color of wisdom, though many only see the greed that follows gold around." She could not remember who told her that, but it stuck. All she hoped was that it was included in some aspects, give her some control over this situation, over her life.

It felt like years, waiting in a desolate room by herself. Her mind racing, constantly going over the date. December 16, 1980. December 16, 1980. She was only eighteen, her husband twenty-one. Everything felt so quick, so rushed. Her chest felt it was caving in on itself, her dress was restricting airflow to her lungs. Drowning, that's what it felt like. She was drowning, suffocating from the pressure of her life. Hysteric is almost how she felt, pacing back and forth in the cold room. She's been wallowing in stress and the threat of tears for hours now. The pressure behind her eyes and between her temples screamed against them. They were centimeters away from falling when a light knock filled the silent space.

She moved slowly towards the door, it should not have been time yet. She slowly opened the door, her body hidden and only an eye peeking through.

"Hi!" A brightly, loving smile filled her vision, along with the bright red hair, "do you mind if I come in?"

She did not speak, but let the woman in. It was Lily Evans, or Potter now. Her and James had gotten married the summer before, she had heard about it through the papers and Regulus.

"I know how stressful today can be, and it's never fun to be completely isolated!" Lily took a seat on the ottoman at the end of the bed, "are you crying blood?"

Lily jumped up from her seat trying to tend to the girl.

"No." her voice small "Well yes, but this happens." 

She waved Lily off, grabbing a white cloth and dabbed away the pink tinted tears she had not realized shedded. Although the company was refreshing, she and Lily had never been friends. She looked up to Lily academically during school and admired her for her stubborn and self-assured attitude she always wore. As if reading her mind.

"Marrying into this family is a change. I mean I married James, but Sirius is basically his brother. He's a good man, stupid, but good. Everything will fall into place. Hopefully his head levels off soon." She let out a little laugh, easing the tense mood that held the air originally. "Besides, you look gorgeous. Anyone could see that!"

She and Lily spent the next several minutes chatting like they were old friends. Lily welcomed a warm light, and a comforting presences in the dark manor they were currently occupying. She helped apply finishing touches physically and mentally, trying to help the girl feel as beautiful as she looked. Even quickly removing a light pink stain from the chest of the dress with her permission.

"So, I'll see you at the after party at James and I's house? Harry is with my parents for the weekend, I could not be more excited for this party!" Lily cooed at the  thought of a normal weekend.

"What?" She was confused, what party.

"Sirius put it together. Oh I'll see you later." Lily left as her mother barged into the room, ready to usher her daughter to the alter where her husband was waiting.

She took the time the think about what Lily had said. Sirius had put an after party together? Maybe it was a surprise for after the wedding, a peace offering between the soon to be wed. She could not dwell on the thoughts for too long. A bouquet was stuffed into her hands as her father inter locked their arms. Her mother masked her face with the sheer vail, clapping her hands together before rushing back into the room that held the Black family, Her own family, and Sirius's friends.

The organ vibrates the floor as a wedding tune began to play, signaling the entrance of the bride. As the doors opened, the rows of people stood and faced them. Her heartbeat was in her throat, all the eyes on her was overwhelming, she noticed one set was on anything but her. Sirius could not bring himself to even glance in her direction. A stabbing sensation filled her heart and lungs, he could at least acknowledge she was suffering as well as he was in the arrangement.

Towards the end of the rows, she spotted Lily, who wore a bright smile and gave her the thumbs up in encouragement. She took a deep breath and continued with her fathers pace before reaching the alter. Sirius looked unimpressed and bored with the whole function. Maybe that was why she felt so guilty for finding him incredible attractive in this moment.

Sirius was wearing a black suit, crisp and tailored to his toned body. A sleek, black tie laid over the black vest that's as snug to his torso. The black overcoat fell off his shoulders, a white undershirt contrasting the dark colors. His hair was slicked back on the sides, the ends curled in an orderly fashion. A sight she had never seen, usually he had unkempt curls framing his face. He looked pale, with a slight shadow of facial hair peeking through the undertones of his clear skin. He was breathtaking to say the least, but his eyes bothered her. They almost held disgust or distaste, an uncomfortable feeling filled her chest. She knew she was not the pick of the litter but marrying her could not have been that bad.

He reluctantly moved the vail behind her head. Peering down at her for a second before moving his eyes away from her quickly. The officiant had begun, his deep voice spooking her more than bringing comfort. Truthfully, his gravely voice upset her. It was scary, she was already terrified by the scene unfolding in front of her. She zoned out, not listening to a word said until a knife was held in front of her face. Sirius took it hastily, and sliced a small cut into his hand. Reluctantly, she did the same. Wincing at the sharp blade against the palm of her hand, almost crying because of the painful cut. She did not handle pain very well.

The officiant spoke a few more words as blood oozed from both their hands. He ushered the pair to connect their right hands together, the ones that had been cut. He placed the respective rings onto their left ring fingers, a weird, tingly sensation spread through their veins with the mingling of their blood being the source. The Black family wanted them to be tied to each other by blood, thus having their interlocked fingers start to burn as the union became almost painful.

They were finally allowed to release each other, the officiant casting a spell to heal and clean their hands.

"I, now pronounce you as Mr. and Mrs. Sirius Black."

Both their respective families clapped formally. But Sirius's friends whooped and hollered at the union. As the newly weds walked passed them on the way out, James gave a loud wolf whistle, causing Lily to smack him in the chest.

The couple walked completely out of the house into an awaiting carriage. The ride was silent, she had no idea where they were even heading. Sirius had still not spoken to her, and she was unsure when or if he ever would. It shows that he was still extremely upset about the arrangement. The carriage stopped after about thirty minutes of flying, outside of a townhouse. The magical house appeared completely wedged between the other muggle houses. Sirius silently entered the home, as if he knew his way around it already. He silently went up the stairs, she stayed in the entrance basking in the place.

Sirius ran down the steps with hefty stomps, grumbling as he did so.

"Welcome home. I'm going out, so don't wait up for me. Your room is on the left." His words were fast as he pushed past and out the door. It clicked shut with a loud clash, causing her to squeeze her eyes shut and tense.

Instead of dwelling on the boy, she moved up the stairs to find the room he was talking about. It was decorated the exact same as her room back at her parents house. It was the first thing this entire day, or even this month to bring her any comfort. She flopped down on her bed, still in her full wedding attire. The events of today settled in. She was finally married, to a young and handsome man. Whom had just left her alone for the night, the night of her wedding. Tears started pouring out of her eyes now as loud sobs wracked the whole house. He was going to a party he planned for their wedding and did not even tell her about it. Lily told her, Lily said she would see her later. Now she wondered what Sirius was going to tell all of them.

Mascara and eyeliner ran down her cheeks, her face became streaky as she sunk into the bed. She was alone on her wedding night, the most joyous day of her life. Well what was supposed to be joyous.

She changed into an old, battered long sleeve night shirt and fluffy pajama pants, before she charmed her hair to just lay in a ratted bun instead of pinned together like before. She did not even bother washing her face, leaving the remanence of her pain on her face. It would leave another painful reminder in the morning but she did not care at the moment. Her body and mind was extremely fatigued from the events of the day.

She silently crept down the stairs, exploring only slightly while trying to locate the kitchen. She knew if this was Sirius's home there would be alcohol somewhere. She hit the jackpot after opening one cabinet in the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle of fire whiskey, forgoing a glass, she popped the seal off and gave it a big chug.

Once she was back in her room, she turned her record player on that had been moved into her room. Playing her favorite record, she once again today sang along to "Try A Little Tenderness", while crying into a bottle of whiskey that was soothing her soul slightly after every chug. Soon the bottle was empty and so were her tears, she just laid on her bed and listened to the song on repeat.

Isn't she lovely, this Hollywood girl

And they say

She's so lucky

It was March, spring smells started filling the air slowly. She and Sirius had been married for around four months now, four long, lonely, and cold months. They never spent anytime together, other than the slight PDA at family gatherings and galas. The bare minimum of an arm around the other for a few seconds of the night. His mother had been shoving the ideas of an heir, the pressure of continuing their pure-blood legacy with another Black to join the bunch. This would not have been such a bad idea, but their marriage was not consummated yet. She was not really sure if it ever will be.

She sat at a table, body clad with a darling dress. It was a baby blue, long sleeved dress. Flowing down passed her feet, a low slit running up the side. A drastic contrast to the dark colors of the people around her. Champagne buzzed through her system, making her brain a little fuzzy and her cheeks a tint of red. Her husband was no where to be found at the moment, she had just escaped his mother with more pressuring of a child.

She had recently been thinking of children. The house is very lonely, mostly just occupying her and a sweet, little elf named Peekey. She enjoyed their shared moments in the solitude of the dead home. Sirius was always away for work, or out on the weekends with Remus. Nothing was really confining her to the home, but with no friends outside of Healing School, she spent many cold nights alone in her bed.

"Your mother is such a... pest!" She whispered out to Regulus. Looking around to make sure no one was listening.

One thing had come from attending all of these gatherings. Her friendship with Regulus has rekindled, after hours filled with tears and sobs from both ends. Now they often spent most of the evenings at parties with each other. Regulus was much more intoxicated then she was. She did not mind though, the feeling of taking care of someone and them depending on her, filled her heart with happiness.

"Woah there, no need for name calling." Regulus snorted with rolled eyes. "Honestly, pest is too nice of a word."

"I'm serious Reggie. She keeps bombarding me with questions of a child! Sirius and I have not even..." Regulus cut his friend off.

"I do not need to hear about the sex life of my brother."

She huffed, stressed from the nights antics already. "I was going to say kissed."

She sipped more on her glass of champagne, scanning the room for any familiar faces. Only ones she did not really feel like conversing with in the moment. Polishing off her glass, she watched Regulus down another shot before stomping away towards the bathroom. While he was away, she refilled her glass and swirled it around. Many people gawked at her, mostly younger women with a few exceptions to older ones. In awe of the woman who married THE Sirius Black. They would constantly ask questions about what marriage was like to such a dreamy man. Call it what you want, but she wanted some fun with her life. She would make up wild stories of adventures and dates they had been on. Not wanting to crush their dreams of a doting husband, they would all fawn over sweet stories she would make up on the spot. Giggling slightly to herself when they would comment on how loving he seemed. Some even asked for dirty details, which she would flat out avoid talking about. Not only did she not know anything about Sirius sexually, she had no experience herself to fabricate a believable story. The questions were also extremely personal and uncomfortable for her.

"Oh dear, why don't you go find your husband. Call it an early night, you know. Heirs do not just make themselves." Walberga placed a gloved hand on her shoulder, ushering her to find Sirius with more comments on children.

She did not look very hard for Sirius, he was probably already gone. She was stationed near the restrooms, searching for her drunk friend. She spotted him across the room at the refreshment table once more. She quickly gathered him up, pulling the alcoholic beverage out of his hands and onto the table.

"Okay Reg, time to go home."

The journeys home with drunk Regulus are always a fun trip. They stopped around three times on the ride home for him to throw up outside of the carriage. Upon returning to her shared home, he spewed about twice, once on her shoes. She cleaned him up, tipping a glass of water into his mouth. She changed him into one of the spare sets of clothes he kept in her room, an agreement they made after Regulus had woken up in a puke-drenched shirt.

She laid him in her bed and walked to the connected bathroom to ready herself for bed. Her body felt the relief as the dress slipped off her body, she hung it up on the closet door. Switching into way less formal and more ratty sleeping clothes. Her hair pulled back messily, and her face cleansed of make up. They had at least three more events to make an appearance at within the next two weeks. Events she was dreading because his mother would be there.

Regulus was sprawled out on her bed, looking as if he was in a deep sleep. As she laid herself under the covers, he rolled towards her.

"You know, I'm a Black." He stated.

She giggled at his statement, "I do know that Reggie."

He laughed a bit groggy, rolling onto his other side.

"I just mean, I can give an heir and no one would question the paternity." He mumbled.

"What!?" She sort of yelled at her friend. The only response was loud snores from her drunk friend. Drunk, he was drunk. That's what she kept reminding herself as she tried to fall asleep.

The next morning, she decided to just forget what Regulus had proposed. He was beyond drunk and just processing the things she had said hours before.

Regulus woke up at some point in the afternoon, gladly accepting the potions she had to cure his hangover. Already having some food and water prepared for him, doting on people was a way she showed love. The thought of having someone to care for kept her heart beating.

"You know, I meant what I said last night."

"What?" The color draining from her face.

"I know mother can be... overbearing. Sirius does not seem like he would help you in this situation. I'm his brother and your best friend. Let me do this to make up for my actions when the marriage was announced." He held her hand, sitting up on her bed with the covers bunched around his clothed body.

"I don't know Reg, I still don't think I could do that to Sirius." She frowned with a sigh, truthfully she thinks that kids would make her life happier.

"Think about it as a friend helping a friend? Just think about it and the offer will stand. But for now, I gotta go. Work calls me in a few hours unfortunately."

Regulus left giving her one last "think about it" before heading to his home. The hours of the day dragged on slowly. She was not sure that Sirius would be home, but decided on making supper for them anyway. Which lead to another cold, and lonely night shared with her house elf.

She is so lucky, but why does she cry?

If there is nothing missing in her life

Why do tears come at night?

There was a birthday party at the Potter's today. For little Harry, his first birthday. Sirius had actually told her about this party and asked if she wanted to go. Granted he asked about two days ago, but nonetheless. This was the first event with his friends that he had asked her to tag along with in the seven months they had been married.

"Oh finally! I have been trying to get you to come over for months now!" Lily exclaimed towards the girl as she entered, taking the present for her son out of the girls hands and gave her a swift hug. "I tell Sirius to bring you every time he comes over, I was starting to think you don't like us."

This caught her off guard. She didn't even know Lily well enough to really dislike her, but the fact that she wanted her to come over and Sirius never told her.

"I'm sorry Lily, I've been having some... health issues recently."

"Are you-" She cut Lily off quickly.

"Oh no, not that. School and health issues. I'm always drained or doing some tests, but I finally had a free weekend and couldn't be happier to be here."

Although, there was a ping of sadness for her conversation with Lily. Plus, watching Harry all night did not help with the yearn for a child of her own. She never could find a time to bring it up to Sirius.

And again, she went home alone that night. Sirius jetting off to the bar with Remus, or at least that was what Remus told her they were doing. But she did not really care in the moment. She had a good day, left the house, spent time with old acquaintances from school, and got to see cute babies all day. Nothing could put her in a down mood.

It was around, roughly 9 p.m. when the doorbell rang. She was little surprised by that, normally Regulus called ahead and just walked in. Remus would walk in especially if he was with Sirius. She made her way down from her room, in only a tank top and shorts due to the temperature rising outside.

"Hello?" She answered the door a bit drowsy considering she was almost asleep a minute prior.

"Oh 'ello, little von. Is Sirius 'ome?" It was Nadia.

Nadia, Sirius's girlfriend before the arraignment was made. She looked as beautiful as ever standing in front of her in all her tall glory. It just did not make sense to her why she would be at her home.

"Oh, um no sorry. He isn't home right now." Her voice timid, like she was afraid to answer the woman in front of her.

"Shame. Wanted to tell 'em I had great time with 'em the other day. That I can not wait for next time. You tell 'em day for me?" Her smile looked devilish, like she was smirking in a triumphant victory.

The wind seemed knocked from her lungs and ears clogged.

"Sure, I'll let him know. You have nice night and be safe." She spoke before closing the door as the beautiful woman sauntered down the stairs to the house.

She felt like tears were going to explode out of her eyes, she did not understand why it hurt so much. She felt so dumb, of course he was cheating on her. She also felt stupid for being upset, Sirius treated her considerable good for what some arranged marriages have been, the relatives she's seen. He is not abusive, just they do not communicate. He can be cold towards her when they speak, the little they do speak, but he has never been extremely cruel towards her.

She feels betrayed in a way, she put her happiness aside to stay loyal to a man who could careless about her in general. Without thinking she picked up the landline in the kitchen and dialed Regulus's number.

"I've changed my mind Reggie. I want a baby. Meet at my house Friday night." She did not even wait for him to respond before placing the phone back down.

Her school had just let out for the year, her week was so barren that she decided she would not waste a single night sober. Starting tonight, she took a cheap bottle of wine up to her bedroom, listening to music, and sipping on the bottle. She thought about her life once more. What had she done to deserve this? She was always good, always listening and obeying. She did not reject the idea of marrying someone her parents paired her to, even when it meant losing a friend. Now her husband is cold and unfaithful. She could handle him being cold and resenting towards her, but the fact that he would seek comfort in someone else. It just hurt, was she not pretty enough for him? Not his type? Was he repulsed by the idea of her so much that he spent every weekend and day he could away from her and their shared home. She was not even invited to her own weddings after party because her husband arranged it without telling her.

She feels silly, she's living a comfortable life that anyone would be happy to have. Technically she is married to The Sirius Black, any girl would swoon at those thoughts. Her home is a decent size, enough for her to have her own space. She had doting elves that are just too cute, lavish parties that require gorgeous dresses and expensive jewelry to attend. Riches from an old, wealthy family, though she does not dive into their funds and uses her own money. Except when her mother in law gives her money for dresses. She was about to start her own healing career. Her life was like a dream come true to others, making her feel selfish for wanting more. Pathetic for crying and drinking over what is considered minor in their marriage.

This went on more about two more days, drinking until she passed out, throwing up on her sheets, sobering up enough to change them and lounge around for the rest of the day, barricading in her room. She took two days off of drinking, her stash was running low and she needed to run to the store. But she felt no motivation to leave her bed.

Thursdays were days Sirius did not work, so he normally went out on Wednesdays. She assumed he had been gone for hours now, she was half a bottle of whiskey deep, and now out of alcohol. But she was not done for tonight, not even close. With the day approaching for Regulus to show up, the more nervous she got, the more nervous she was the more scared she became. Life moved so fast for her, she was not even twenty yet. But this how life goes for the woman in her family and many others. The fact that she was yet to conceive a child was alarming to her parents and Sirius's, although they did not know they had not even tried.

Not her best moment, but decided she would go to the store in this moment for more alcohol. The air was bit colder than she thought, hugging herself she stumbles down the paved side walk, clutching money in one of her hands. Singing quietly to herself, a strong breeze almost knocked her over. She stumbled almost to the ground, laughing at the fact before steadying herself and continuing towards the store.

She bumped shoulders with a tall, lanky man.

"Oops! Sorry Sir." She giggled before walking forward.

The man gently grabbed her arm, pulling her towards him and around to face him.

"What are you doing out this late?" He asked, almost sounding concerned.

"Oh hi Remus! Jus- gettin' more of me whiskeyyyy, I ran out." She pouted at the end of her sentence.

"You really shouldn't be out at night, especially drunk and alone. Where are your shoes?" She looked down at her bare feet, toes stiffly wiggling in the cold.

"Oh!" she giggled "must've forgotten them? I jus-really got out of me bed." Her accent coming through a little thicker.

"Okay, you barely have clothes, let's get you home. Where is Sirius?" Remus questioned, leaning forward to help the girl lean against him. Taking the cash from her hand when she complained about it cramping.

"Ion knowww... thought he was with youuu!!" She poked his belly slightly before focusing back on her stepping.

"You know, hodoubenekakskndbrehisyxh."

"What did you say?" Remus laughed at her incoherent speech a little bit.

"I have no idea." She hiccuped and held tighter around his waist when she felt she was about to fall.

"You are pretty entertaining little one, you should come out with us some time."

"Sirius never invites me, didn't even 'vite me to me own wedding party." She grumbled.

Remus grimaced, eyebrows furrowed, "he did not invite you?"

"Nope, Lily told me. But why go somewhere I am unwanted you know.

"We want you there. You are our friends wife, we want to be your friend too." Remus reasoned with her.

"Maybe. But some people do not. That's okay though, it doesn't matter." Her body shutters as the urge to cry flows up into her eyes. She's unable to control the tears that flow down.

Remus stops when he hears her sobbing. "Hey it's okay, there is no need to- is that blood? Why are your tears red? Are you crying blood? Oh shit!! What do I..."

Remus started to freak out, but she calmed him down in a second.

"It's a medical 'dition. I 'cry blood' sometimes. I fine, promise." She smiled at him as he wiped her eyes, but another wave of tears washes over her. "I think Sirius is cheating on me."

Remus stiffened, "why do you think that?"

"Nadia came over the other day. Said so, with her too. Are we almost home, I'm tired."

Remus picked her up and carried her the block back to her home, he had been heading this way originally. But him and Sirius had some matter to discuss currently. When he reached the home someone was outside, in front of the door.

Regulus had also shown up wanted to speak to Sirius.  Remus set her down in Regulus grasp, she giggled to her friend, telling him stupid jokes and how much she loved him as her best friend.  The door was locked and she did not have her keys on her. Remus started banging on the door, waiting for Sirius to open up.

The sight behind the door on Sirius's end was honestly hilarious. His best friend looking slightly irritated, his brother worried and almost nervous, and his wife smiling and drunk beyond recollection.

"We need to talk." Remus said flat.

The group moved inside.

"I need to talk with you too brother, but I'm going to take care of her first." Regulus walked her up the stairs and out of the vision of the other boys.

"So what is it you need to talk about Rem." Sirius asked relaxed, lounging on the couch, assuming Remus would follow.

"Are you serious?" Remus stood in front of him.

"Yes?" Sirius looked confused.

"No you fucking idiot. I found YOUR wife drunk and alone, almost into the middle of the town. Barely clothed, no shoes, and a wad of cash in her hands." Remus tried to keep his voice steady, tossing the cash into Sirius's chest.

"Oh. I had no idea she was gone." Sirius felt uncomfortable under his friends gaze.

"She told me how you don't invite her out with us on the weekends, and I know Lily practically begs you. Did you really not invite her to the party after your-HER wedding." Remus's voice was fluctuating between anger and disappointment.

Sirius closed his eyes. He felt horrible about how he had been treating her, how cold he had been. How stand-offish, but truthfully he just did not know how to process and handle his emotions.

"Merlin Sirius! Do you know anything about your wife?" Remus exclaimed, gripping his hair in irritation.

"Not really." He sighed, holding his face in his hands.

"She cries blood."

"She- what? She was bleeding? Was she okay?" Sirius perked up at the mention of blood.

"No! She cries blood apparently, her tears have a red tint in them." Remus softened his voice looking at his shocked friend.

Sirius knew he fucked up, he knew that three months into their marriage, he knew that the hours after their officiated ceremony. He felt bad, horrible, but he did not know how to fix it.

"She thinks you are cheating on her." Remus spoke, his voice becoming strict.

"What? I'm not cheating on her." Sirius looked confused. He had been faithful to her, although he was cold, he would never cheat on someone. "You know I would never, not after... not after her."

"I know that. But does she. I guess Nadia came over the other, told her to tell you what a great time she had and you should see each other again. Sirius have you two even... consummated the marriage?" Sirius shook his head, causing a groan to slip from Remus's mouth, "I know you wouldn't but please tell me you didn't." Remus was extremely serious. Although he was not her friend, he knew how sweet and kind she normally was. She was different from all the girls Sirius had been with previously.

"No! I haven't really even seen Nadia for three months. I haven't slept with her since before our wedding. She keeps trying to coerce me, but I refuse her. I swear it Rem." Sirius pleaded.

"Yeah, that's something you need to tell her tomorrow." Regulus walked down the stairs towards the pair of boys. "She called me the other night, drunk as all get out. She really thinks you are cheating. It crushing her more than the fact that you don't talk to her."

"I don't know what to do!" Sirius dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to relive some of the pressure "I don't know how to talk to her! I've never not known how to talk to a girl before her."

"Well big brother, you have until Friday. I'm supposed to come over while you are gone and give your wife a baby." Regulus said nonchalantly.

"What!?" Remus and Sirius shouted at the same time.

"You don't touch my wife!" Sirius exclaimed pointing an accusatory finger at his younger brother.

Regulus held his hands up in defense. "I'm not doing it because I want to steal your wife from you. She's my best friend, never been nothing more. But mother is pressuring her about when the next heir is born. Since you haven't noticed it at every single family events, too busy doing whatever. I offered it in a drunk stupor and she declined. But one night she called me crying saying she wanted a baby and wanted it to be Friday while you were out with your friends."

Honestly this knowledge crushes Sirius. He felt so guilt ridden for how this whole situation had ended, especially since most of it is his fault.

"You are so lucky! I am such a good brother. I didn't have to tell you about this, I could have just given her what she wants. What would satisfy everyone involved, but I knew her hesitance in betraying you. Even when she believes you are betraying her, she shook up stairs because she was scared the time had come. I had to reassure her and wipe away her tears that she was safe. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TEARS YOU HAVE CAUSED HER! Huh? How many crying phone calls and times I've had to come over to make sure she was okay after so many lonely nights. She always wore a smile towards me, always said nice things about you to me. People have told her since your wedding that she's lucky, so lucky to have had you as her husband. But brother, I believe it is you who are lucky to have her as your wife." Regulus stopped his rant, continuing to pace across the room, as he had done during the whole one-sided argument.

There was an uncomfortable silence between the three men in the parlor. All sorts of emotions clouding judgments and rational thinking. Sirius had silently decided what he had to do, what he needed to do.

"Regulus. Do not come back to my house, at least not on Friday. Remus, I'm canceling this weekend. Now if you would please leave my home." Sirius spoke in a monotone voice, a voice that made Remus uneasy having barely heard this tone before.

Silently, he watched Sirius descend up the stairs and out of sight around a corner before exiting the home.

If there's nothing missing in my life

Then why do these tears come at night?

Her nerves were at an all time high, today was the day that Regulus was supposed to come over. She was having extreme second thoughts, she still was not sure she could betray Sirius to this level. A child with his own brother, it just felt morally inappropriate and embarrassing.

Even though he offered first, she felt she was using Regulus in a poorly planned game of chess. Like he was a pawn in a little game, but she was a pawn in another game much higher above herself. She had spent that couple days isolated in her room. No attempts to contact Regulus and in return he had not tried to contact her either. The time for him to arrive was vastly approaching, butterflied filled her stomach at the thought.

She wrapped her arms around her torso, covering up the silk nightgown she had on with a matching silk robe. Her body felt cold and numb, like an out of body experience. She felt this would be another night of crying alone, no comfort and none expected to be given.

Her ears perked up at the hefty knock on the door. Bile raised in her throat. Merlin, she needed this baby so her in laws would back off for a bit. But she could not do it. Her heart clenched at the fear of the child she may never have. She just could not go through with this plan, not if it could potentially hurt Sirius.

She made her way to the door, hands shaking and legs wobbly.

"I can't do it Reggie! I'm sorry." She sobbed into her hands, not really sure why she's crying.

"Can we talk?" Her head snapped upwards at the voice. Sirius. She looked like a deer caught in headlights, her heart racing like light speed.

"Uh, Sure." she wiped her eyes quickly, confused when Sirius took one of her hands in his and walked her to sit down next to him on her bed. He seemed just as jittery, just as nervous as she was currently. They looked like messes and it was the truest sight of this couple.

"I know what you and my brother had planned." He said simply.

She stammered, lip quivering. "I'm sorry Sirius! I'm so sorry. I understand if you would like me to leave." Her head hung low, shame flooded her system.

"Darling, look at me." He spoke softly, nudging her cheek with his thumb. Looking into her sad and puffy eyes, offering a small smile to her. "I am not upset about the arrangement. I am upset because of how awful I have been towards you."

There was silence between the pair, very awkward and suffocating.

"I have not cheated on you. I know Nadia says otherwise. But I have not been with her since about two weeks before our wedding. It just did not feel right." Sirius confessed to his wife.

Her tears built up again, spilling over without a second thought. "I was going to be the one who cheated?"

She pulled her hands out of his, feeling disgusted by her own skin. Deeming it not worthy to be held against his skin, though he was not perfect.

"Sweetheart, it's okay! Regulus told me the other day. I am not mad, I promise. I understand the pressure you are under with mother. Which is why I am here, well one of the reasons." He grabbed her hands once more, having her look directly into his eyes.

"I think you and I should have a baby. I want to be a good husband to you, I just... I don't know how to be good to you. You confuse me and make me feel weird things, things I do not really understand. I've wasted so much time on being scared, I ignored your pain and sorrow, my little dove." Sirius stammered, his own eyes seeming to tear up.

"Sirius, it's okay-" he cut her off.

"No! It's not. I have so much to make up, I don't even know how to start. But let me show you love the best way I know how! Let me give you a baby and we can work from that point on, please?" Sirius slid off the bed and kneeled in front of her sitting body, pulling her hands up his lips for slow and sensual kisses. "I promise, if you help me, I will become the most emotional and loving husband. I have a lot to make up and I want to start working on that. I want you to feel the same way about me, that I have felt since my fourth year at school."

She gasped in shock. "You liked me in school?"

"Well, I didn't know then. But thinking about it and the teasing the boys gave me at times. I definitely did have a tiny crush on you." His face blushed red, embarrassed over such a tiny secret.

"Okay. We can have a baby, but please tell me our love won't only be physical?" She sounded sad, such a tone that broke his heart.

"Please teach me how to properly love you? How to handle my emotions, help me not become my father." He leaned close to her, engulfing her in a tight embrace. Rolling onto the bed, his face buried into her neck as small sobs escape his lips.

They laid together sideways on the bed for a little while, holding each other as if the other was going to fade away from their grasps. Sirius was holding her tighter than she was him, his face still buried into her neck. Inhaling her sweet scent that drove him mad, caressing her cheek with the hand that laid adorn on her face. Finally showing signs of tenderness that she had been craving for months at this point. While he caressed her face, her hand was scratching along the base of his skull. Twirling the ends of his hair before running lightly over the sensitive skin, causing a shiver to run down his spine.

His sobs quieted down, not even sniffling traced his mouth. His eyes still heavy and red with evidence of crying, slowly he started peppering light kisses along her neck. Her hand stopped playing with his hair, surprised by how loving Sirius was being.

"Why'd-ya stop?" He whined out, his words slurred as if he were drunk from her touch.

"I have a confession Sirius." She sat up and moved towards her pillows at the headboard of her bed. "I've never done this before."

Sirius noticed the pink tinge on her cheeks, finding her shyness adorable. But he understood her nervousness as he intently listened to the words she spoke.

"I-I just don't... I don't want it to be bad for you." She huffed, her hands falling in her crossed lap as her head hung low.

"I can promise, it won't be bad for me." He chuckled lightly trying to lighten the mood before following her up the bed and sitting next to her. "We can take it slow, or we don't even have to do that tonight love."

"But, I want to. Do you want to y'know with me." Her face was bright red, voice lacking confidence at her own statement.

"Of course I do! You are my wife after all. We can go slow, I'll be gentle. Lay down for me darling?" Sirius spoke with comforting enthusiasm.

She did as he told her, scooting down slightly to lay on her back comfortably. Her heart raced wildly as Sirius watched her move. They were not even touching, yet the whole scene felt so intimate to her. It did not help that this was her first time and knowing Sirius was experienced did little to bring her comfort.

"Have you ever kissed anyone?" She shook her head at him, feeling embarrassment burning again. "It's okay sweetheart, I don't mind teaching you."

Sirius crawled over her, hovering on all fours over her slightly rigid body. He ducked his head down to slowly press his lips against hers, a little more than a peck. He gently moved her arms to wrap around his neck, nudging one of her hands back into his hair causing her to giggle against his lips. Sirius turned his head sideways, deepening the kiss by putting more assertion into it. They kissed each others lips until she started gaining confidence in herself.

Sirius broke the kiss, pulling back completely to sit on his heels. Her legs were trapped underneath his body. She whined a little as he pulled away, her body raising to follow his lips earning a chuckle from him. "Have patience little one."

He rolled the black, tight-fitted shirt off of his broad chest, muscles flexing slightly as he tossed it aside onto the floor. She studied his naked chest. Acknowledging his toned build from years in quidditch, his smooth, pale skin, so warm and welcoming. Breath hitching at the trail of dark hair that disappeared under his belt. Sirius shifted his body, pulling her smooth legs to frame around his hips. Her short nightgown bunching around her hips, flashing a slight glimpse of her panties.

He leaned towards her lips again, the kiss stronger than the other ones previously. On instinct, she wrapped her arms around his neck once more. One hand combing through his locks that she noticed he seemed to throughly enjoy. His chest pressed against her, the silk of the nightgown raised bumps against his skin. Sirius's tongue timidly licked across her closed lips, wanting gain access to the inside of her mouth. She parted her lips slightly, the tips of their tongues touching ever so slightly.

He slipped his tongue further into her mouth, exploring the taste of her. Her body became stiff once more, unsure of what to do with her own tongue as his invaded her mouth. She quite liked the taste of him, but became flustered in the thoughts of how she should move her mouth against his skilled tongue. He pulled his mouth away from hers, a string of saliva following before snapping against his lower lip.

"Just relax and follow my lead." Sirius's spoke lovingly, petting the hair along her forehead to try and soothe her nerves.

Their tongues meet once again, he licked delicately at her tongue. She followed the motions he was doing with uneasy fervor. She liked the feeling of the soft muscle against her own, creating an intoxicating feeling of euphoria and pleasure. Sirius drug one of his fingers down her face, tracing the outline of her features as her reaches her neck. Slow touches cascade further down until it softly caressed over her nipple, his large hands engulfing most of her breast. "Is this okay?" He asked pulling away once more. She mumbled a 'yes' as she closed her eyes, basking in the feeling of his hands in her body in such a sensual way.

His hand needed at the tender flesh, his thumb circling around her hardening bud with a feather-like touch. Sirius moved his face back into the side of her neck, showering slow kisses in many places. He sucked slightly on her sweet skin and with the right amount of pressure on her breast, pulled an unexpected moan from her throat. Not only surprising herself but Sirius as well. He bucked his hips forward into her, almost moaning at the noise of her himself.

"Can I take this off?" His fingers moved from her breast to the end of her nightgown, toying with the hem between his fingers waiting for her permission.

She agreed and sat up slightly so he could pull the dress off completely. This left her bare breast and only panties covering her body. Sirius looked mesmerized by the sight of uncharted skin between them.

"I know it's not much to offer." She stated, noticing his staring.

"Let me show you something." Sirius moved off of her, popping the button of his dark jeans open and practically ripping them off his legs. Leaving both of them in only underwear. He took her hand and lead it down the happy trail of dark hair. "This! This is what you do to me, you little minx. You are so beautiful!" He whined out as he helped her palm him through his thin, black boxers.

Sirius pulled her hands away from him, leaning forward once more. He kissed around her chest, along the fat of her breasts and up the valley between them. He repeated the action with his tongue dragging around them as well. He enclosed one of her nipples into his warm mouth, sucking against it like it was his life's mission. The noises he was pulling from her made him feel like a god. The fact that she was enjoying his company and he could give her pleasure had his ears, as well as other parts, rushing with blood.

He caressed a hand along her naval, rubbing soothing circles into her hips as they slightly rocked into his body. He played with the lace decor of her panties, rubbing over the growing wet patch. Her breathing became heavy, a surge of desire rushing through her bloodstream as his fingers ghosted over the aching areas.

"You can- you can touch me there, underneath them if you would like to." She murmured, eyes shut and focusing on the pleasurable feeling he was giving.

"Do you want me to?" He smiled at her through hooded eyes, her face contorting in turmoil.

"Yeah, please Sirius."

"How could I say no to such a pretty little thing."

Her cheeks tinted red from his comment as he hooked the sides of her panties with his fingers and slide them down her legs at a teasing speed. His thumb teased between the folds, finding her slightly engorged clit. Rubbing half-circles over it, he noticed her tense at the motions, legs trying to clamp shut. He dipped his thumb lower to reveal the seeping wetness and exposing it to his skin before dragging it back up to her clit. This time pressing harder as he circled it fully, watching the pleasure on her face the entire time.

Ears perking and cock twitching as the quiet, breathy moans of his name she let out. He switched hands, letting one continue to rub her aching clit as the other hand moved lower towards her entrance. Easily slipping a single finger in, catching her by surprise. He worked it in and out while simultaneously stroking her clit. Once her moans start to become more frequent, he added another finger into the mix.

"How's this? Feel good?" Sirius whispered into her ear, voice husky and full of lust.

"Mmhmm!" She mumbled out her answer quick, eyes shutting to focus on the pleasure and new sensation.

Her body continued to quiver against his, and judging by the way she was clenching around his fingers. He knew she was close. He applied more pressure with his thumb, her moans became more consistent with his strokes. Her moan cut off suddenly, her mouth forming an 'o' shape as her body shuttered against his.

Sirius could tell she was cumming before she even knew what was happening. "That's it, what a good girl." She clenched harder around him as her breath started to even out slightly.

He pulled his fingers out of her, maintaining eye contact as he sensually pushed his fingers past his own lips. Sucking softly on them as a groan lifted from his chest. Blood rushing more south by the taste of her. The tange catching his arousal off guard for a second. "Are you ready darling? We can take it slow, we don't have to tonight."

"I want to! I-I want you Sirius. I need you." She babbled as she watched his fingers fall slowly from his mouth.

The air became thick with need as Sirius moved away from her to undress himself fully. His breathing became heavy as he slowly pulled his boxers off, teasing himself from the rushed and frantic pleasure he normally endured during hook-ups from the past. She peered at him from between her legs. He was about to be her first everything, the first cock she would have ever seen. It looked perfect to her, even having never seen another before.

He was a medium sized girth. The length looked like a comfortable size, sure there would be a stretch with it being her first time. But he looked to be a comfortable fit, not looking too scary with a slight curve upward. Sirius crawled over her, his hands holding himself up with her head in between his hands. He looked intently down at her. Lust still prevalent but a look of longing and love also filled his senses. He leaned down and collected her lips into a deep kiss full of passion.

"Are you ready?" He kissed along her neck waiting for her to respond to him. She told him that she was ready, he reached between them and ran his cock between her, caressing her clit with the tip a few times.

He caught her entrance for a second and pushed forward slightly, engulfing most of the tip inside. She squealed quietly with the pressure sensation, pulling his shoulders down towards her. Sirius began pushing in further, taking his time and making sure she was relaxed as he pushed more in. About halfway down, she clamped up and began for hyperventilate. He looked up at her face, noticing her eyes screwed shut, he tried to pull out but she told him that she was okay and he could continue.

The pressure was not necessarily painful, the remanence of her first orgasm still fresh within her body helped her relax. He started stretching her more and more the further he pushed until he bottomed out completely inside of her. He kissed around her face as she squealed once more because of the full feeling that held within her blissed stomach. He rested against her body, chests pressed firmly against each other as he cradled her head in his hands. Her arms around his neck as the slight pain dissolved.

"Sirius?" She whispered in his ear.

"Yes love?"

"You can move now."

Sirius kissed her lips once more and trailed more down to her neck as he slowly pulled his hips back from her body. Tentatively, he rocked forward into her, moaning at the warm, suction she was giving him. He was not sure what it was, probably emotions, but sex for him had never felt this good. Each gentle stroke he made into her, sent shocks of pleasure to each finger tip of his. His face fell into her neck, muffling every little or loud noise he made against her. The vibrations of the noises sent a sense of pride through her body.

Still sensitive from the previous orgasm, she felt amazing and comfortable. The happy trail that lead to wide patch of trimmed black hair rubbed against her clit. A tingling sensation filling her chest each time he pushed forward. Her own hips starting to rock into his calm strokes.

"I-I've never - oh merlin-" the feeling of her clench around him as his thumb softly circled her clit once more cut his words off. "Never had sex... this slow.. I- never thought it to—be this...glorious. Baby you feel so good." He moaned loudly each time she clamped onto him.

"Feel so full Sirius. Feel so wonderful." Her hand pulled at the nape of his neck, catching his hair between her fingers. Legs locked around his hips as she felt herself nearing another end. The emotions running rampant through her body heightened every sense. The pleasure in her lower belly felt intense, causing tears to start to flow from her eyes. Another tight circle of his thumb had her coming undone around him. Moaning directly into his ear as she held him tighter to her body. Trying to seek every inch of him into her grasps.

The noises, the actions, everything about the whole interaction had Sirius convulsing. He was about to cum, almost embarrassing quick for himself. The feeling of her cumming worsened his control as he felt himself topple over the edge. Almost instantly spilling into her.

"I love you." Sirius held onto her tightly as she felt warmth fill up her womb. Her heart and body tightened as he listened to his words. Basking in the golden feeling she was currently experiencing. As Sirius weakly rocked through their orgasms she whispered back to him that she also loved him. Both of them feeling a copious amount of love and joyfulness.

The pair stayed like that for a little bit. Tears filled her eyes earlier were pooled down her cheeks but no more were spilling. Sirius was seated inside her still, not moving even and inch off of her. She noticed his shoulders start to shutter as well as the muffled sniffles against her shoulder.

"Sirius? Honey, what's wrong?" She stroked his head, running her fingers through his tangled, sweaty hair.

"It's nothing." He tried to mumble off but she persisted on coaxing out his misery. "I've never felt love like that. Never been slow and soft. Never felt so loved."

She continued to coo at him and give him reassuring compliments. But still he felt his own insecurities and doubts bubbling to the surface.

"I'm sorry. I don't normally blow my load that quick. I'll make it up to you I promise!"

"Sirius look at me." She grabbed his face with both hands and stared into his eyes, nothing but love and satisfaction on her face. "I couldn't have asked for a more perfect moment." Before pulling him into a comforting embrace.

When Sirius had finally pulled out of her, he quickly ran out of the room. She felt a bit confused but slightly hurt. He ran rather quick as if he was disgusted by the act the pair had just committed. Stress and worry started to fill her mind as she felt the tears pool into her eyes and spill over one tear at a time. She thought they had finally made a breakthrough, when she wiped her eyes she noticed the red stains from the tears. Perfect way to top it all off.

She hiccuped shocked when she watched Sirius waltz back into the room, fresh pair of boxers on his body. Hands full of clothes and a rag. He gently began to wipe down her shaky thighs and intimate parts.

"Why are you cry- are you bleeding? Oh Merlin! Did I hurt you?" Sirius spoke frantically, confused and hurt by the thoughts of hurting her.

"No, Sirius" she laughed slightly at him, "it's a condition I have."

He just nodded, unsure of what to say back to her. He decided to finish cleaning her up and dressed her in a pair of his boxers and a loose shirt. Topping it all off with a kiss to her lips. The pair cuddled up together under the covers. Her hand and head resting against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. His had his arm wrapped around her body, one hand resting of her stomach.

"Let's hope it took darling, though I would not mind trying again with you." Sirius giggled like a little teenage boy.

"Yes let's hope." She laughed along with him.

"I'm going to take you out tomorrow night. Just us. Some place nice. Some place you deserve." Sirius spoke with determination.

"I'd love that a lot Mr. Black." She peppered a few kisses against his chest before closing her eyes to drift off into sleep.

"I'd do anything for you, Mrs. Black."

[scorp10n1]

Ned in Peril- House of a Hundred Horrors!

Chapter 24- The Torment of Carstairs!

Ned Carstairs has been kidnapped by Rope 'em Hard Reggie and is now a prisoner in Reggie's new lair, Greyoaks House on the New England Coast. Reggie plans to drain Carstairs of his fortune by submitting him to all manner of fiendish torments and tortures!

After attempting to escape, Carstairs was bound, mummified and sealed inside a plaster cast that completely encased him.

Now his ordeal continues!

[reine-de-la-lune]

Sirius: Will you marry me moony?

Remus:

James: :0000

Regulus: Say noooooo

Remus: yes

Sirius: *faints*

James: Pay me reggie

Regulus: shit sirius, I'll lose my fortune at this rate

Remus: You bet!!

Regulus and James: of course

[cherryslyce]

Second Son (III) | Regulus Black

Series Synopsis: Forbidden from contacting Harry over the summer, you opt to explore the eerie halls of Grimmauld Place where you stumble upon a lonely portrait of the House's second son.

— Chapter Synopsis: The school year begins and all seems lost when Undersecretary Umbridge is assigned as the new DADA professor. That is until Hermione and Ron approach Harry and Y/N with the idea to form Dumbledore's Army (Regulus disapproves, naturally).

Part II / Part IV / Series Masterlist

Pairing: Regulus Black x GN!Reader

Notes: Cursing, Not Canon Compliant

The talk with Sirius and Co. was tiresome. Actually, talk was a lenient way to put it, it was much more of an interrogation. Apparently, Sirius and Kreacher got into a spat (what a surprise) and the house elf let it slip that you had "found Master Regulus".

Hermione and Ron tried to dissuade Sirius from making it into a big deal, but alas they were unsuccessful (not to mention they wanted answers as well).

Luckily, Sirius had very little faith in Kreacher and you only told him that you found old photos of Regulus, and Kreacher happened to stumble upon your discovery.

Kreacher was very willing to corroborate your story in order to get back in your--Regulus‘, good graces.

For now, your explanation satisfied the others, but you knew that Harry had an idea that there was more to the story than you were letting on. Fortunately, Harry had always been a loyal friend and he wouldn't push you to tell him anything if you didn't want to.

It seemed you had a penchant for finding reliable friends.

Regulus was displeased with the turn of events and looked ready to scold a mournful Kreacher, but opted to just let out a disgruntled sigh.

"It doesn't matter anymore, I knew you'd be able to take care of it." Was what he told you after Kreacher left with a grateful cry.

Summer receded off the coast and autumn began to roll onto London, first painting the trees in kaleidoscopes of oranges before bringing tides of cool wind.

Your fifth year at Hogwarts was about to kick off and you were practically bouncing around at the prospect of being able to bring Regulus with you.

"Harry's hearing went just as I presumed it would."

"Oh? Looking to take up a post as Hogwarts Divination Professor, Reg?"

The boy merely rolled his eyes, deciding to grace you with the gift of an answer despite your smart mouth.

"It was obvious that Fudge would aim to discredit Harry. But, Dumbledore is quite the political force, and many are still willing to side with Harry even if they think he's lying about the Dark Lord. Harry may not feel it though. Bad press will always stand louder than uncertain support."

Ever the intellect.

"I guess so. Harry's still riled about it, but there's not much he can do since he was cleared of his charges. Merlin forbid he was expelled. I can't even imagine how dismal Hogwarts would be without everyone's favorite lion."

You continued to pack away your textbooks in your school trunk, murmuring tiredly under your breath at the idea of the inevitable increase in workload and the studying for O.W.L's.

"Are you excited?"

"Reg, you do understand that we face a new threat every single year, correct? Of course I'm excited."

There was no sarcasm in your tone, and you were being completely honest. Threats to your life would only serve to teach you further about the constraints and possibilities of magic. After all, you were certain the Dark Lord would stop at nothing until you were all dead, so you might as well learn as much as you can in the meantime.

"Just be cautious."

"Are you getting soft on me, Reggie? If you keep going I might think you actually care for me."

"Don't be daft, you know how I feel. Now, don't forget about the pouch I gave you."

You weren't going to antagonize him because you were almost certain he did care for you, but you weren't sure if you'd live long enough for him to actually tell you.

Reaching for the emerald green pouch laid atop your bed, you eagerly pulled it open. You never got the chance to examine its contents due to being interrogated by Sirius, but you were sure it was something important because of Regulus‘ insistence that you take it with you.

Reaching inside, you feel around the velvet interior until you feel something cool press against your fingertips.

Pulling it out, you gape as you realized it was a ring. A thick silver band with two snakes wrapping around it.

"Reg?"

"It's a gift. It was the ring I usually wore around in my youth. It's charmed to heat up when someone tries to use legilimency on you or when you're near poison. It served me well, now it will help you."

You twirl the band around your fingers and a small smile paints your lips as you try to suppress the burning in your eyes.

"Thank you Reg. I'm touched that you trust me so much with your possessions. I guess now I really have no excuse if I die."

"Exactly. So try your best--no, you have to live." His eyes were hard with conviction before they softened again when you nodded, "Good. You should put it on later, Sirius will definitely recognize it."

You couldn't find it in yourself to move on from Regulus‘ gift, even now as you were weaving around people.

The ring pressed gently against your chest as you walked with Harry down King's Cross, your new precious item was hidden away underneath your shirt on a necklace chain.

Regulus was tucked away inside your jacket like usual, the rectangular frame occasionally hitting against your ribs as you moved.

Sirius was paces away in his animagus form, too reluctant to let Harry leave with a simple goodbye at the door. You were happy that Harry had such a supportive adult figure in his life, but a part of you couldn't help but want him to leave quickly so you could slip on the ring.

The dog-man quickly trotted into an empty seating room, Harry leaving your side to talk to his godfather. As Moody and Tonks guarded the doorway of the room, you opted to give the aurors a brief nod before making your way to the platform first.

You admired them both to a varying degree, but you couldn't quite warm up to Moody after your Fourth Year debacle with his death eater imposter.

It was still hard to get the image of him, or rather the image of polyjuice him, making Neville uncomfortable in class.

Navigating your way around the swarm of people, soon you found yourself on the familiar platform.

Reaching into your shirt, you pulled out your necklace chain, twirling it around your neck before unclasping it and sliding Regulus‘ ring out.

It was a pretty thing, and you found yourself imagining the two snakes on the band as you and Regulus.

Propping your trunk up against one of the brick pillars, you fix your necklace before slipping the ring onto your left index finger, spelling it to fit you.

Thank merlin for magic.

Raising your hand up towards the sky, you observe the way the sunlight reflects off the silver. As you continued to admire it, you realized that someone's stopped beside you.

"Merlin! Harry?!"

The boy in question jumps at your exclamation, the distant look in his eyes being drowned out by realization. It was apparent that he was only present enough to recognize you in the crowd, but too lost in thought to realize what was going on.

"Oh, sorry. Should we board now?"

Without waiting for an answer, he reaches behind you and lugs your trunk behind him, starting to get lost in his head again as he walks towards the train.

As the both of you sit and wait for Hermione and Ron, he wordlessly reaches into his pocket, pulling out a folded photo. He hands it to you with a forlorn look in his eyes, watching as you carefully unfold the paper.

Are those?

As if reading your thoughts, he supplies you with a quiet answer, "My parents. And the Order."

"Fuck. From Sirius?"

"Yeah."

"Fuck."

Running your finger over the smiling faces of Lily and James Potter, you send a silent thank you for their sacrifice.

Your concern for Harry only ceased once you arrived at the castle.

Sitting down in the dining hall brought a surge of serotonin through your body. It was the closest thing you had to a home and being able to greet the cold walls and aged windows after every summer brought you great joy.

Looking in Harry's direction, you frown in concern as you see him eyeing the staff table in shock. Your confusion is swept away as a high-pitched voice cuts through Dumbledore's welcome speech.

A woman who was strangely reminiscent of a toad carefully made her way around the table and towards Dumbledore. From the way Harry began to furiously whisper to Hermione, you were certain that she was the reason for his sudden change in behavior.

Dumbledore and Snape looked faintly displeased with her interruption and your eyes started to hurt from the abomination of pink monotone that made her stand out.

You had an unfortunate feeling that the source of your fifth year misery had arrived.

And you were correct. Of course.

It had only been a week into your classes and you were seething violently, much like the rest of your friends.

"And do you know what she said Reggie?"

"What?" He mused in curiosity, his eyes alight at your foreign frustration.

"We're only going to be learning the theories! Because apparently if we know the theories well enough, the application of spells will just magically come to us!"

Your hands were flying around wildly as you recalled her words, your body bouncing around on your bed due to your gestures.

Regulus chuckled at your despair, eyes twinkling brightly like he had just received the best news of his life.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it off. I'm glad my misery is enjoyable to you, but I'm being serious! I just don't know what we should do! The DADA curse is really screwing us over here."

Seeming to take pity on your genuine distress, he begins to placate you, "Y/N, it's fine. I'll teach you if you want. Just tell me what spells and theories you're covering and I'll guide you."

Oh?

The grin that stretches across your face almost hurts and you fall back onto your bed, letting his offer run around your head with a content sigh.

"Y/N? Have you died?"

"Still here." Your answer comes out muffled as you bring your hand to cover your bright smile.

"Don't seem too happy, I'm a strict teacher."

"Yeah, yeah. Reg. I could kiss you right now! Seriously, thank you, you're too good to me."

Regulus doesn't respond to your words and he was sure that you weren't even aware of what you were saying, but he was glad you couldn't hear the way his heart was racing.

"No matter, just get some sleep."

"Hm? What will you do then? It's still pretty early."

"I'll just watch over you like always. Prop me up on your nightstand would you, I want to see outside."

"Yes, yes. Anything else you require my liege?" Your teasing is met with a deadpan look as you carefully rest his portrait frame against the stack of books on your nightstand.

"Y/N, sleep."

You let out an indignant huff and turn your body towards your bedside, facing Regulus as he begins to gaze outside your dorm window. Luckily, your nightstand was on the far end of the dorm room and would be out of view from anyone coming through.

"Goodnight, Reg."

"Sweet dreams, Y/N."

Luckily, slumber came quickly that night.

You should have known that your brief period of rest would soon be interrupted. It was basically the first warning that came attached to being involved with the Golden Trio. You just didn't realize that your peace would be disturbed the very next day.

"Are you positive that this is a great idea?"

"If Umbridge refuses to teach us, we need someone who will."

You stare at Hermione in consideration, "And that person is Harry?"

She nods confidently, her eyes blazing in determination. Clearly, they were going to move forward with this plan whether or not you were in.

"Okay. So Hog's Head then?"

"Yes. We can't possibly manage to keep this under wraps inside the castle walls. We'll come by and get you tomorrow."

"Merlin ‘Mione. I hope that this turns out well. For all of our sakes."

"It has to. Sirius said it himself, You Know Who is on the move."

Bloody Dark Lord and his murderous agenda spoiling your years of childhood.

There wasn't much that needed to be said after that and you both bid each other a quick farewell. You quickly headed to your dorm and let out a sigh of relief to see the room empty.

Plopping down on your bed, you flip open the charms textbook Regulus recommended, eyes darting around for a possible communication charm.

This was going to take forever, might as well get some help.

Fishing around your robes, you pull out Regulus‘ portrait and beam down at his unimpressed face.

"There's no way you're actually considering running along with that ragtag defense club now, are you?" Isn't he just pleasant today.

"Nice to see you too, Reg. Hermione's idea sounds interesting enough, besides friends need to support each other's endeavors."

Regulus looked like he was a few moments away from releasing a snort, but just shook his head. His neat curls jumped around his face and you had to stop yourself from getting too entranced by the sight.

"I suppose that makes sense, after all I would do the same for you. Though, you are already learning from me, no?" Regulus‘ words made your heart skip a beat, but you tried your best to play it off.

"Yes, and as much as I love Harry, you will always be my number one teacher." He looked all too pleased by your words and you shook your head fondly, "Don't let it get to your head though. Now, let's read through this book together, shall we?"

And as you both read through the pages of the book, you couldn't help but selfishly want more. You couldn't help but wonder how different everything would be if Regulus wasn't a portrait, but rather alive and well and attending Hogwarts with you.

It just added to your fury towards Voldemort. He had taken enough from the world, and you couldn't wait to drive a curse through him and live the rest of your life in peace.

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