So I know celebrity rockstar Eddie with Just-Some-Guy Steve is popular, but what about the opposite?
Steve, who is a professional Basketball player, got scouted from where he played for his college team. The fan fave, the darling of the locals, and one of the best players on the team. Models for sportswear brands, has had interviews and talks at schools and the media loves him. He's handsome, and nice, and has publicly come out.
And then there's Eddie. His boyfriend since college. Just some guy who runs a music store. Started just as a minimum wage worker and then slowly worked his way up to running a small business himself. Sells guitars and drums and other instruments. Vinyl and cds and music merch. Hosts guitar lessons. Is happy playing music because he loves it, not for the fame and money.
Eddie goes to all his games (or as many as he can) and while he's not a sports guy and never will be he loves watching Steve play. Is only about 80% sure of the rules at best and that's good enough for Steve. And Steve who's not a metal fan, and will never be into DnD but will spend his free evenings helping Eddie plan a campaign or listening to this song Eddie's been trying to learn on the guitar.
Idk I just think it's fun to explore the opposite! Eddie getting excited any time he sees people wearing Steve's merch in public and people keep mistaking him for a hardcore fan because no one knows who he is and honestly he's fine with that. He is a big fan of Steve
he's a big fan of steve' MOMO THAT LAST LINE TOOK ME OUT!!!! OHH!!!!
Okay so as always i am IN LOVE with your ideas and where you take them and explore with the space.
Please can I have Eddie who doesn't completely GET sports but he DOES get collecting so he has one of those card books and collects basket ball trading cards. He has a full page of 'Steves' that he every proud of because he's drawn on some of them, giving him different outfits/hair/facial hair/speech bubbles, some include dragon hatcher steve, android steve, malibu barbie steve and pronstache steve (that one wasn't even drawn on, Steve was just trying something new and it got immortailised in a trading card much to Eddie's delight. His personal favourite is a Steve mid spin of the ball on his fingertip, the image of concentration and Eddie has yet to see a photo that highlights the muscle and bite-ability of Steve's arms quite as well as that one.
When Eddie and Steve are out for dinner and Eddie sees a little kid wearing a shirt with Steve's name on it he's quick to point it out to the delight of his boyfriend, both of them trying to figure out a way to subtly let the kid know that 'Harrington' is here.
Eddie who turns up to games with the kids and a foam finger because 'Steve come on its hilarious' but in reality he just loves obnoxiously supporting him. Steve kisses his finger tips and waves to Eddie before running to join the team in the changing rooms. Eddie who catches it and stuffs it in his pocket in the most dramatic way possible. Steve who laughs every time because he wouldn't have it any other way.
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new year, new food crime
I hate it when recipe bloggers tell you the entire rundown of their day before giving the recipe, so just to start off, I'm going to put this here:
3 cups of liquid (water + shrimp water)
3 packets unflavored gelatin
1 tbsp vegetable base (or a bouillon of some kind; that'd probably be fine)
1 large handful of shrimps (approx 20)
3 eggs, hard-boiled and sliced
1 small bag mixed frozen vegetables, thawed
a gelatin mold or bowl with a capacity of 4 cups
now, looking at this ingredients list you might be asking, "hey SBS, what the fuck did you cook this time?" and to that I say: buckle up.
so I've been watching Arne & Carlos' videos for a bit, firstly because I was curious if they were gay (they seem to be), and secondly because I like their knitting patterns
but their channel isn't just knitting! they also cook together, and it's fun and chaotic, and one of the things they cooked…intrigued me.
I don't know how this dish is spelled. cabaret? kabaret? there are only a few recipes for it online, and most of those are not in english. but essentially, it is a Norwegian aspic with shrimp, vegetables, and hard-boiled egg in it.
what is aspic, you might ask? well, it's…I mean…it's meat jello. that's what it is. you cook meat for a while (some recipes say to use pig's feet, snout, etc), and it makes a gelatinous broth, which solidifies when it cools.
delightful!
however, I am not willing to make aspic from scratch for this, so I substituted it with unflavored gelatin packets. hooray!
(apparently in Norway, you can buy packets of instant aspic! but since you can't do that here, I looked up what ingredients are in instant aspic, and after putting them through google translate, decided "huh, seems like gelatin powder with some kind of bouillon", so that's how I ended up here)
this recipe isn't so much cooking as it is…construction. like sure, you heat up the gelatin, but after that it's pretty much just putting stuff together.
and apparently you can make this with pre-cooked or canned shrimp, but I only had the raw frozen kind, so I put them in a saucepan with just enough water to cover them, heated them until they were fully cooked, and then saved the water from the pan to mix in with the gelatin.
so, shrimpy water + enough water to make 3 cups of liquid, and then I mixed in vegetable base until it tasted…fine. (it didn't taste good, it just tasted…okay.)
then I heated up the liquid in the microwave (in a big 4-cup measuring cup), mixed in the three gelatin packets, and there you go! that's all of the cooking done.
now, for the assembly.
I put some of the shrimp all the way at the bottom of the jello mold, trying to arrange it so that it would look nice. I sliced the hard-boiled eggs, and put the prettiest slices of egg around the edges, sprinkling in some vegetables and pouring gelatin as I went.
…and then I gave up on being artistic, and just kinda lumped everything else in, and covered it with the gelatin mixture.
(unfortunately I didn't think to take pictures of the assembly portion of this, because I was multitasking at the time and got distracted, but you'll just have to trust me that it was a tolerable experience, and didn't look very interesting)
after that I chucked it into the fridge (gently), and left it alone while I streamed with makerrcat for a bit, stayed up way too late, and then passed out in a dramatic fashion.
13-ish hours later, I rescued it from its frigid prison.
hmmm
stare into the murky depths with me for a moment. look at this…nightmarish placid soup. this motionless broth.
one of my egg slices definitely didn't get covered all the way.
ah, well.
to unmold this monstrosity, I put it in a bowl of hot water for a minute or so, until it seemed like it could pull away from the edges. it really didn't take much, so if you (god forbid) try this yourself, keep an eye on it. gelatin melts fast.
then I put a plate over the jello mold, and flipped it over.
after a few tense seconds, it released from the mold with a slimy kthnk sound.
carefully. nervously. I lifted the mold.
and then I let out an involuntary "oh!" because…
…it's kind of…eerily beautiful?
like in a horrifying sort of eldritch way, it looks…lovely
vegetables and shrimp and eggs, suspended not just in space but in time, preserved and surrounded by a gelatinous cocoon…
I just like staring at it, okay! I just think it looks cool! so here's another picture of it from the side:
the egg slices…the little bits of yolk…enchanting
it definitely smells like food. but it's unclear what kind. vaguely shrimp-vegetable-egg, but muddled
let's cut into it
oh. oh god. it made kind of a…squelch? when I cut it?
hold on, you have to experience this for yourselves
god. deeply unsettling.
now, seeing what the inside is like is kind of interesting! there are places where the gelatin has sort of splintered apart from being cut, and there are gaps where pieces of vegetable have fallen out.
but...how does it taste?
...
fuck.
I really like it
this bizarre combination of textures is weirdly satisfying! the squish of the egg and the gelatin, the slight crunch of the vegetables and shrimp, it's just…good?
the gelatin itself just tastes vaguely of broth, but I don't mind it! I don't know if I would eat it by itself, but with the shrimp, egg, and veggies, it's perfectly okay!
the shrimp, egg, and vegetables of course just taste (respectively) like shrimp, egg, and vegetables, but that's...fine? I like all of these things, so this is pretty enjoyable!
so, some of the recipes I managed to find mention serving it with sort of a mayo-mustard mix, so obviously I have to try that
this...helps? like, it tastes really pleasant?
not that it was bad before, but it remains an enjoyable experience!
and a video that I saw (but could not understand) seemed to show it served on a piece of bread, again with the mayo-mustard.
this is also fine! I enjoy this too! I don't feel like it needs the bread, but it's all right!
this is bizarre.
I think most people would probably hate this. it's got the look of a 1960s party food (which is probably what it is), and "meat jello" isn't a texture that modern society regularly enjoys, but…I love it.
I actually love this.
I kind of understand now why people call dishes like this a "jello salad", because…I mean, I'm eating it, and my brain is saying, "yup. this is a salad" and I have no fucking idea why, but this right here? salad. for sure.
cold, wet salad.
damp, even.
so like...is this objectively good food? probably not.
but is it fun to eat? I think so.
it's refreshing, somehow. it's light, but also more filling than I expected it to be. I have no idea how much would be considered a reasonable serving, but I intend to figure it out as I go along.
so I'm not saying "go make this!" because although this combination of textures plays well with my brain in particular, I don't think that would be the case for everybody.
but I will be eating the rest of this.
weirdly? weirdly, it's just good.
-
an edit, a few days later:
I have done it. I have consumed the entire thing. and I enjoyed every bite of it.
in fact, I plan on making it again! probably more than once!
food crime? no. food…
(pauses to look up what the opposite of "crime" is)
…food blessing. food virtue. food achievement! food…benevolence.
this is what cabaret is.
at least, that's what it is to me.
(create and consume at your own risk.)
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Chocolate Cake with Chocolate Orange Buttercream
I am back! It’s been a very long hiatus but I’ve still been trying out recipes and cooking foods mentioned in the Simon Snow Series!
Today seemed a particularly good day to post, as Carry On Countdown is going on and today’s prompt is CAKE!!
This cake comes from chapter 89 of Any Way the Wind Blows and is courtesy of Lady Ruth Salisbury, of course.
“There’s chocolate cake with chocolate-orange butter cream.” (Simon POV, Ch 89, Any Way the Wind Blows, by Rainbow Rowell.)
I’ve made this cake a few times now. The family seems to love it for birthdays. It’s very rich, very dense and very good.
Chocolate Cake with Chocolate-Orange Buttercream
Ingredients
Cake:
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 3/4 cups sugar
1 cup unsweetened cocoa
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 eggs
1/2 cup of canola oil
1 cup milk (I used lactose free)
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup boiling water
1/4 cup orange juice (which I forgot to include in the picture)
Buttercream:
8 oz bittersweet chocolate, chopped, or 8 oz bittersweet chocolate chips
1 stick unsalted butter, at room temperature
6 oz shortening ( or more butter if you prefer, I used vegetable shortening) also at room temperature
3-4 cups powdered/ confectioner’s sugar
1/2 cup orange juice
1 tsp orange zest
1 tbsp cornstarch
Method
Cake:
Preheat the oven to 350F.
Grease two 8-inch cake pans and line with parchment paper.
Whisk the sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in one large bowl.
Gently whisk the eggs in a separate bowl until yolks and whites are combined then add oil, milk, and vanilla then mix well. Save the boiling water and orange juice for a bit later.
Add the egg/milk/oil mixture to the dry ingredients and mix.
Then add the boiling water and orange juice to the mixture.
Divide the batter evenly between the two cake pans.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until center set and toothpick inserted comes out clean.
Remove from oven and allow to cool on wire rack.
Buttercream:
Melt the chocolate in a double boiler and allow to cool slightly
Whip the butter and the shortening until creamy
add orange juice and orange zest, mixing well
add 3 cups of powdered sugar, one at a time.
add cornstarch
add melted chocolate
add up to one more cup powdered sugar, to reach desired consistency (the first time I made it I ended up with the entire extra cup, last time I used 3/4)
if it feels too thick you may add a tablespoon more of orange juice
Place one of the cakes on a plate and cover top with buttercream. Gently place the second cake on top of the first and apply the buttercream liberally over the top and sides of cake. Slice and serve.
Enjoy!
Recipe with photos below!!
Ingredients (sorry the orange juice is MIA in the photo)
Cake:
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 3/4 cups sugar
1 cup unsweetened cocoa
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 eggs
1/2 cup of canola oil
1 cup milk (I used lactose free)
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup boiling water
1/4 cup orange juice (which I forgot to include in the picture)
(dry ingredients in photo!)
Cake Method:
Preheat the oven to 350F.
Grease two 8-inch cake pans and line with parchment paper.
Whisk the sugar, flour, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda, and salt in one large bowl.
Gently whisk the eggs in a separate bowl until yolks and whites are combined then add oil, milk, and vanilla then mix well.
Save the boiling water and orange juice for a bit later.
Add the egg/milk/oil mixture to the dry ingredients and mix.
Then add the boiling water and orange juice to the mixture.
Divide the batter evenly between the two cake pans.
Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until center set and toothpick inserted comes out clean.
Remove from oven and allow to cool on wire rack.
wet ingredients!
Cake cooling
Buttercream Ingredients:
(there is the orange juice!)
Buttercream:
8 oz bittersweet chocolate, chopped, or 8 oz bittersweet chocolate chips
1 stick unsalted butter, at room temperature
6 oz shortening ( or more butter if you prefer, I used vegetable shortening) also at room temperature
3-4 cups powdered/ confectioner’s sugar
1/2 cup orange juice
1 tsp orange zest
1 tbsp cornstarch
shortening and butter
The buttercream!!!
Buttercream Method:
Melt the chocolate in a double boiler and allow to cool slightly
Whip the butter and the shortening until creamy
add orange juice and orange zest, mixing well
add 3 cups of powdered sugar, one at a time.
add cornstarch
add melted chocolate
add up to one more cup powdered sugar, to reach desired consistency (the first time I made it I ended up with the entire extra cup, last time I used 3/4)
if it feels too thick you may add a tablespoon more of orange juice
Putting the cake together:
A slice of cake:
Enjoy the cake!
@carryon-countdown
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