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whumpmatsus · 3 years ago

Note

Hi! 👋 Two things! First, a fic request (again Ichimatsu whump because I'm sorry but I have to): Ichimatsu takes a hit meant for one of his brothers (be it accidental or on purpose) and is pretty badly injured. Cue the rest of the Matsu Bros. to the rescue!

And second, um...would you be okay with it if, let's just say hypothetically, I made fan art of some of these fics? 😺

FIRST OF ALL thank you for this because it's LITERALLY the longest thing I've written on this blog so far!! so I hope u enjoy it fully uwu

Matsu Bros plus a cameo by Mama Matsu!! <3

second... YESSSS THAT IS ALWAYS DEFINITELY OKAY!!! aaaaaaa you flatter me <3 <3 <3

When Ichimatsu first wakes up in the hospital, he doesn’t remember why he’s here. Hell, he barely even remembers who he is.

All he really knows initially is that he’s in a lot of pain. It hurts to breathe, his face is kind of numb in spots, and his leg feels weirdly positioned, plus heavy and uncomfortable. His shoulder feels kind of sore… as does his wrist.

There’s also some strange fog drifting around his mind that’s making it difficult to really focus on anything.

He feels a hand in his own. Not very tight… he thinks it’s someone giving just enough pressure to let him know they’re here. That he’s not alone. That’s comforting, he thinks.

Then he starts to remember things.

He was out walking with some of the others; Karamatsu and maybe Totty? What they were doing is a little fuzzy and isn’t coming to him instantly. He just recalls they were together, walking on the sidewalk. They came to a crosswalk and waited their turn. Karamatsu, as the eldest out of the three, stepped forward first to cross.

Ichimatsu thinks Karamatsu’s intention was that he would hold Totty’s hand to keep the youngest safe while they crossed, and Ichimatsu could follow after them. He doesn’t believe Totty had any objections.

They waited. They followed all the rules they were supposed to. The crosswalk light told them they were allowed to go.

It was someone else who broke the rules, tearing through a stop sign, the car headed right for his brothers. He… thinks he remembers Totty had only just come forward to grab Karamatsu’s hand, so he wasn’t quite there yet. Karamatsu was the one in the most danger.

He doesn’t remember much else. Running forward, pushing his baby brother behind him and yelling for his big brother to move.Then an impact. A lot of pain. Black and nothingness and warmth.

Now he’s awake. Putting the pieces together, he’s pretty sure he shoved Karamatsu forward and ended up getting hit by that car.

He thinks, in his haze, that the car should have hit Karamatsu, because he was the one who went first, because things happened so fast. But he’s glad it didn’t happen that way.

A couple groans catch the attention of whoever’s in the room, and he gets a squeeze to the hand. “Ichimatsu? Honey? Are you awake?”

“Mmh…” It hurts a little to move his head. He does it anyway, getting a glimpse of his mother. “… Mom…?”

It looks like she’s smiling… relieved, maybe. “Yes! Yes, my sweet boy, Mama is here.” She reaches her free hand over to gently stroke his hair. It feels nice. “Thank goodness. How do you feel?”

He closes his eyes. “I hurt.”

“Well, I should hope so! I’d be worried if you weren’t in a lot of pain right now. Do you remember what happened?”

Although he tries to move around, it’s difficult simply because it’s so painful. “Uh, yeah, kind of… I got… hit by a car, right? ― H… hey… Karamatsu and Totty… where are they? Are they okay?”

“Yes, dear, they’re both fine. Karamatsu has a couple of scrapes, but nothing serious. You, on the other hand, are lucky, young man. You’ve got a broken leg, a couple of broken ribs, and a broken wrist. You did have a dislocated shoulder, but they got that back into place. The doctor said it could have been much worse. She said you got off easy compared to some people who get hit by a car.”

She combs his bangs back in a way that mitigates any anger or frustration in her next words. “What were you thinking?”

“The car was coming for Karamatsu…” He frowns as the memory surfaces again, in slightly better detail. Damn. “… And Totty didn’t see it… he was gonna step out, too…”

Everything seemed to happen so fast. How the hell did he manage to get his older brother out of the way and keep his younger brother out of the way when everything happened so fast?

Matsuyo sighs and continues stroking his hair. “Oh, I know… they were both in tears when we all arrived. Totty was inconsolable… saying that Karamatsu would be dead if you hadn’t run forward and that he thought you were dead because you weren’t responding. I should be mad that you scared your brothers… but…”

She leans forward to kiss his forehead. “… You did a brave thing, Ichimatsu. Mama is very proud of you. I just don’t like any of you boys hurt… if you’re inclined to do this again, pull the other person back instead of taking their place. You silly boy,” she adds with an affectionate smile.

“Hah…” he laughs weakly, wincing at the pain in his chest. “Sorry, Mom. Everything hurts… I wanna go home.”

“Mhm, they’ll probably let you go pretty soon now that you’re awake. That’s the main thing they were waiting for, I think.” She moves her hand down to pat lightly at his forearm.

“Don’t worry. You’ll be home before you know it, and your family will take good care of you.”

Coming home is kind of weird.

Ichimatsu can’t really walk on his own. Since his leg is broken, the doctor gave him a crutch that he can use with his good hand, but it’s an awkward movement and leaves him feeling unbalanced. It’s just easier to lean on one of his brothers to walk ― in this case, Choromatsu has volunteered to help if Ichimatsu needs to walk somewhere. Though… he gets the feeling that the others would be more than happy to volunteer if the third eldest were somehow busy when he needs to get up.

Every motion, from sitting up to reaching for things to just breathing, is painful thanks to the broken ribs. There’s nothing that can really be done for those, so he’s evidently got to just suffer. He remembers the doctor saying they should feel quite a bit better in a couple of weeks. Most of this is going to take a month or more to fully heal, which is… according to Osomatsu, a ‘major boner-killer’.

Sitting around doing nothing but being in pain is going to be the end of Ichimatsu. He’s sure of that. He can’t go outside to feed the cats, and it’s difficult to cuddle with them inside with all his injuries. That alone is pretty depressing.

The pain medication they sent him home with is also a little frustrating. The first time he takes it, it makes him so tired he sleeps right through dinner.

He falls asleep on the couch in the spare room, he knows, because it’s where he has to be set up for now. There’s noway he can sleep in the futon with everyone else while he tries to heal; that runs the risk of running into someone, or having one of his brothers accidentally run into him.

His leg’s in a cast and his wrist is in a splint, to protect them as they fix themselves, but if those areas have someone roll onto them, it’ll probably result in more damage. Which means more pain and more time added to his recovery.

It’s apparently a bad idea to sleep on the couch. When he wakes up, everything is sore and screaming in pain. Justified, unfortunately, since he fell asleep in the same position he was relaxing in.

Someone else… is here? There’s something warm pressed up against his side.

He glances over to find that he’s evidently been resting on Karamatsu’s shoulder, likely for a while given that Karamatsu’s eyes are closed too. It looks dark out, and Ichimatsu’s foggy mind busies itself wondering what time it is.

There’s a soft chuckle beside him, and looking over reveals one of his big brother’s eyes is cracked open now. It’s swiftly followed by the other one, then the sudden absence of a pressure around his shoulder makes him aware that Karamatsu had an arm around him. “Awake, hm?”

“Yeah…” He tries to stretch, stopped short when a jolting pain in his chest reminds him that it’s definitely a bad idea. “Oww. I don’t even remember falling asleep.”

“That’s alright. You started to get a bit drowsy about half an hour after Osomatsu-nii-san gave you your medicine. We saved you a plate from dinner, though, if you want me to go warm it up.”

Ichimatsu blinks. “I slept through dinner?? Shit. How late is it right now?”

His brother shifts a bit more to take out his phone. ��Hm… a bit after midnight.”

“Midnight?” Well, fuck. Although he can justify an hour nap or so, he’s just slept like six hours. He missed dinner, he missed going to the bathhouse, he missed maybe a game of cards before bed.

Karamatsu laughs again, his hand tousling Ichimatsu’s hair fondly. “That’s right, my brother. Don’t worry. Osomatsu-nii-san said fatigue is a side effect of your medicine, and your body needs sleep right now, anyway. So, are you hungry? Mommy made soba and yakitori for dinner, but if you’d rather have something else, just say the word. Your wish is my command!”

Honestly… he’s not really that hungry. He knows he should probably eat; his stomach is just trying to tell him not to have anything heavy. Another side effect of the medication, maybe. “Are you… sure? I kind of just feel like plain miso and rice. Other stuff doesn’t sound good.”

“Of course! I’d be delighted to go heat some up. You simply rest and I’ll…” When he goes to stand up, something catches Ichimatsu’s eye, and he grabs his brother’s hand, weakly, with his own injured one. It’s painful, but…

Karamatsu’s eyes focus on his younger brother, brows furrowing. “Ichimatsu? What’s the matter?”

It’s… that cut on Karamatsu’s face. Ichimatsu didn’t notice it before. Now that he’s a bit more alert, it’s practically all he can see. It’s not very big, maybe the length of one of their little fingers, and not deep. It looks like a scrape from falling off one’s bike or something. He thinks maybe it had a bandage on it at one point. The color has faded into something dull; the skin around is still bright pink, though, suggesting that it’s irritated despite not being cut.

His gaze shifts down to find similar wounds on Karamatsu’s hands. On the palms, where he probably got a sort of road rash when he tried to catch himself after Ichimatsu pushed him out of the way.

His own wrist protests with a violent throb as he reaches to let his fingers graze lightly over Karamatsu’s wrist. Image after image of what might have happened to him if Ichimatsu wasn’t fast enough comes unbidden into his head. Karamatsu could be the one with a broken leg or broken ribs, or it could have been worse.

“Y… you’re okay… right?” As soon as those words are out of his mouth, tears start spilling. All at once he’s pulled into a hug, loose fists resting against his back. He can’t stop himself from leaning in, pressing his face against Karamatsu’s shoulder.

He can feel the soft rumble of mirthless laughter his big brother gives. “You’re the one who was hurt, Ichimatsu. I’m only okay because of you. If you hadn’t seen… I wasn’t paying attention…”

The words, “It should have been me”, hang heavily in the air even though Karamatsu doesn’t say them.

He brushes a delicate kiss over the side of his little brother’s forehead. “Heh… you would have been a better big brother than me. You kept us all safe when I failed. You probably saved my life, you know. Thank you.”

Ichimatsu isn’t sure why it’s now that the full weight of everything has hit him. Now, when he’s home and out of danger, when everything is okay. Shouldn’t he have been falling apart when he first woke up in the hospital? It shouldn’t have taken seeing Karamatsu’s small injuries to remind him that they all could have died when he’s the one in a cast.

It’s hard to keep himself together, to keep his breathing normal so he doesn’t completely go to pieces. (Though, if he did, what better place to do so than in his older brother’s arms?) “… You’d do the same for me, right? So it’s only fair.”

“I would,” Karamatsu hums. “Without a second thought. You’re my little brother and I love you very much and if I could save you from being hurt, I would. I’m… sorry I was so careless that I couldn’t do it this time.”

Ichimatsu grunts, slipping his good arm around Karamatsu’s waist in an effort to be closer. “Don’t feel too bad. The next car’ll be yours.”

After eating as much as he feels like he can, Ichimatsu allows Karamatsu to help transfer him to the floor. It’s already set up with a spare futon, a blanket, and a pillow, probably because someone guessed that sleeping on the sofa wouldn’t be comfortable.

He’s still in so much pain. The shoulder that was reduced back into place aches like an old war wound, and his chest is sore even when he’s lying still. To say nothing of his wrist and his leg. His whole body feels like one giant bruise, except worse.

Although Karamatsu insists he’d be just fine to stand guard all night, after a few minutes Choromatsu comes in and sends him back to the bedroom. Ichimatsu doesn’t hear too much of the conversation ― mostly whispers that Karamatsu needs to go get some sleep, that Choromatsu is glad to take a turn.

Soon enough, though, Karamatsu relents and comes to tell Ichimatsu goodnight before he leaves the room. Ichimatsu gets one more kiss on the head and a reassuring squeeze to his good hand and exchanges another round of “I love you”s with his brother, then heads into the bedroom.

Choromatsu came prepared, setting his own pillow up on the couch and tossing a blanket at the end just in case he needs it. “So… how are you feeling, Ichimatsu?”

“Mm… like crap, kinda.” He looks over to where his brother is trying to get settled in. “I can’t believe I slept six hours and I’m still tired. What kind of shit did they put me on?”

“Hah… y-yeah, it’s the good stuff, probably. Is it at least helping the pain a little?”

“A little. Like Mom said before we left the hospital, I… guess it’d be more worrying if I wasn’t in pain right now. I did get hit by a car.”

Choromatsu leans forward and places a cautious hand on his little brother’s head. Once that earns him no punishment, he gingerly combs through Ichimatsu’s hair. It certainly feels relaxing. “You sure did. I… I can’t believe you kept both Karamatsu and Totty safe. Adrenaline’s a… a weird thing, huh? I’m glad you’re all okay. Hopefully the pain medicine will work better once you’ve had a few doses.”

“Mh. I hope so.”

“Yeah. For now, just, uh… just try to get some more sleep, okay? Your body needs a lot of rest while you’re healing.”

Yep, that’s what Karamatsu said, too. Two of his brothers saying the same thing can’t be wrong. … Well, they could be, but it would be weird. “I’ll try. Thanks for… being here. I dunno that I’d really want to sleep alone for the whole night. Guess Totty’s rubbing off on me.”

A low chuckle leaves Choromatsu as Ichimatsu closes his eyes. The sound of rustling suggests that his older brother has laid down and pulled a blanket over himself as well.

After a moment of quiet between them, Ichimatsu becomes keenly aware of a sensation that definitely isn’t going to allow him to sleep. “Uuuugh. Shit.”

“Huh?” Choromatsu is sitting up in an instant, ready to practically spring out of his skin. “What’s wrong, Ichimatsu?”

“― My leg itches.”

“O-oh. So… scratch it??”

He throws his head back in frustration. “No, the one with the Goddamn cast on it.”

“Ohhh. Okay, uh, well…” Choromatsu gets up and rummages through one of the drawers for a few seconds.

After that, a pencil is pressed into Ichimatsu’s good hand with a smile. “Here, try this. Stick the eraser end down in the little space between your leg and the cast, then keep moving it. If the itch is high enough up, it should help.”

Ichimatsu raises an eyebrow at the advice. Well. What’s he got to lose, after all? He spends a moment trying to get the itch scratched after slipping the pencil down, and finally he sighs in relief. “Fuck, that’s a lot better. How’d you know that was gonna work?”

Choromatsu grins self-consciously, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Ah, well… remember when I broke my arm? When I went for my checkup, I had this itch inside the cast that was driving me nuts. So the nurse showed me this trick. It doesn’t always work, but…”

“Huh… well… thanks.” After everything, he’s just really tired and ready to sleep now. He would cross his fingers that nothing else disturbs him if he felt like moving at all.

“Heh, no problem. All good now?”

“I think so.” When he sees his brother straighten up to head back to the couch, his brain evidently thinks it’s good to say something. “H… hey. Choromatsu?”

Choromatsu looks back down, concern etched on his features. “Ah, yeah? What’s up?”

His heart is hammering so fast it feels like it’s trying to break more of his ribs. He doesn’t really want to embarrass himself. It’s just… he feels… “Can you… can you… stay for a minute? Down here?”

“Oh… yeah, sure. I can’t stay too long… I-I can’t sleep next to you. I might accidentally hurt you.” Even so, he lowers himself back down, sitting cross-legged and reaching to stroke Ichimatsu’s hair.

He nods. That’s part of the problem. Even though he normally wouldn’t have much complaint about being left to his own devices… he’s used to sleeping next to his brothers. Right on the end beside Karamatsu. When he’s not feeling well, being absent from them is apparently not doing him any favors. “I know. It’s just…”

His eyes drift closed once more. It must be the medicine making him feel out of it and way too honest. “… I think I’m gonna get lonely sleeping like this.”

“O-oh… gosh.” He can practically hear the frown in Choromatsu’s voice. The other man’s hand combs through his hair, a rhythmic and repetitive motion that makes him sleepy again. “I can probably… sleep like this, propped up against the couch. Is that okay?”

“Mmmh… I don’t want you to have to do that… you’ll make your back sore.”

He chuckles. “Ah, I-I think I can handle it. Even if that’s true, it’d be worth it to me so you don’t have to feel lonely. It’s the least I can do for my little brother.”

“I can’t stop you,” Ichimatsu mumbles. Sleep is scrabbling its tiny, strong fingers at him, trying to pull him down. It’s getting hard to resist. “If you want…”

“Yeah… yeah, I wanna do this for you.” Choromatsu leans down to press a small kiss to the top of Ichimatsu’s head. “Hey. Love you, Ichimacchan. Try to get some rest, okay?”

He doesn’t have to tell Ichimatsu twice. Within a minute of Choromatsu’s urging, he’s fallen back into a peaceful darkness.

When Ichimatsu wakes up the next morning, Choromatsu’s presence has been replaced by Jyushimatsu’s.

As much as he loves his immediate older brother, he doesn’t have any complaints. He and Jyushimatsu are very close, and his younger brother being here is pretty soothing to wake up to.

He’s uncharacteristically quiet, though that’s not to say he isn’t his usual energetic self. He appears to be flipping through baseball cards, maybe organizing them in his little album, humming to himself. There’s also one hand free to play with Ichimatsu’s hair, which he supposes is why he still feels relaxed.

“Hey, Jyushi.” His body reminds him why stretching is a bad idea right now, so he settles for arching his back a little in an effort to make something pop. Everything is sore. Even that little bit of movement hurts his ribs enough that he has trouble catching his breath for a minute. “Fuck… morning.”

“Oh! Yeah, it is morning!” Jyushimatsu is chipper as always, though when he leans in for a hug, he’s surprisingly gentle. “How’d you sleep, Ichimatsu-nii-san?”

“Okay, I guess. I still hurt a bunch.”

“Yeahhhh, you were crying in your sleep! But it’s okay! Because guess what? Jyushi is here!” He grins, nuzzling his cheek against Ichimatsu’s. It’s a bit weird, but par for the course as far as Jyushimatsu is concerned. Besides, the hug is nice after the fear of being lonely last night. “Did you have nightmares, huh?”

Now that he mentions it… yep. Ichimatsu’s dreams, or what he remembers of them, were filled with horrible things. The memory of being hit by the car, or the images of either Karamatsu or Totty being hit because he wasn’t fast enough.

He recalls one piece of a dream which involved looking into his own chest and seeing the end of a fractured rib shatter his glass heart.

A shudder runs through his body, prompting Jyushimatsu to tighten his grip just slightly. “Oh, you’re cold! It’s past breakfast, ‘cause you slept for a really long time, but I’ll go get you some tea!! Sound good?”

Given that his appetite hasn’t come back from war, that sounds better than anything else. Though he did manage to choke down that rice and miso last night, he’s not sure if he wants to eat even anything bland. “Yeah, sounds good. Put just a little bit of agave syrup in it for me?”

“Yeah! Anything for Ichimatsu-nii-san! Be right back, okay?”

With Jyushimatsu, ‘be right back’ is typically how it goes. He’s only gone for a few minutes, or at least it only seems like a few minutes.

Regardless, Ichimatsu has a cup of tea in his hand relatively quickly. Almost as if his brother predicted that it would be difficult to hold something very hot with only one hand, the tea is warm, not boiling hot.

It’s easier to balance it with one hand, plus this means it’s pretty much the perfect temperature to drink. As he starts to sip it, he feels Jyushimatsu’s hand, covered entirely by his sleeve, rubbing affectionately between his shoulder blades. “It’s good, huh?”

He swallows and gives the other a nod. “Yeah, pretty good. Thanks.” Thankfully, it should wake him up, too. He’s still feeling kind of groggy.

“Good!! Osomatsu-nii-san said he’s gonna give you your medicine in a minute, since I told him you were up and hurting.” Jyushimatsu shoves his binder of cards away, shifting up to sit on the sofa. “Do you want me to move you up here after you’re done drinking?”

“Probably, yeah. You got anything you wanna do today?” Another sip, and he sighs in relief feeling the warmth flow through him. Damn.He can’t believe he could take something as simple as a cup of tea in the morning for granted. “I can’t really help with baseball practice… but we could watch TV together or something.”

“Sure! We can watch whatever you want!” After only a few seconds, Jyushimatsu wiggles himself back down and leans against his big brother’s shoulder. “Hey, Ichimatsu-nii-san… I’m really glad you’re okay. Even though you’re hurt and everything, you’re home with us instead of… being not home with us!”

The least he can do is let his head rest gently against Jyushimatsu’s. “Yeah… I’m glad I’m home, too. Don’t think I’d rather be anywhere else.”

Jyushimatsu nods eagerly, making a brief, dull wave of pain wash through Ichimatsu. However, he’d rather have that pain than not have his little brother close. “We’ll take really good care of you! Just say if you need anything, okay? I’m really strong and I can get anything! … And if I can’t, Osomatsu-nii-san probably can!”

“Heh.” Ichimatsu takes another gulp of his tea. “You guys are the best.”

True to Jyushimatsu’s word, Osomatsu is in pretty soon to give Ichimatsu the painkillers. For whatever reason, even when he can’t be trusted with literally anything else, the eldest is pretty good at monitoring medicine when one of the others needs it.

All things being equal, Ichimatsu has a lot of faith in taking medicine when Osomatsu keeps track of it. He knows how much was dispensed, how many Ichimatsu is supposed to take and how often, how many are left, and all the related things. He’s like some kind of idiot savant who was put on Earth to be a pill counter.

After he takes it, he expects to start getting tired again, so he silently begs Osomatsu to stay on the couch with him. They’re all supposed to be hanging out anyway, based on what Jyushimatsu said, so right now he decides he wants to be close to his oldest brother for a little bit.

Osomatsu seems all too happy to oblige, snuggling Ichimatsu as close as he dares to. It’s probably not a good idea to use normal force, so the touches are… lighter than usual. It’s not so bad.

He settles in on Osomatsu’s shoulder, trying to get his eyes to focus on the show Jyushimatsu turned it to for him. It’s kind of unfortunate that he’s almost certainly going to fall asleep on it. “You guys are taking really good care of me,” he sighs, letting his eyes slip closed. “You want my allowance? Or, like… a bag of sardines?”

Osomatsu snorts. “What? You’re nuts, man. We’re taking care of you because we want to and because you need it. I mean, if I was sitting here with a broken leg, a broken wrist, broken ribs, and had to have my shoulder cherry popped back into place, wouldn’t you all be like, ‘Wow, maybe we should give the poor bastard a hand’? We’re just doing the same thing for you that we’d do for any one of us.”

Ichimatsu huffs. “Yeah, well… you’re all doing a lot. Karamatsu went in the kitchen past midnight to make me miso and rice, Choromatsu probably fucked up his back sleeping against the couch so I wouldn’t be lonely, Jyushi’s waiting on me, and you’ve got my medicine on a damn schedule or something.”

“Yeah, well,” Osomatsu grins, “I can’t leave it up to you, crackhead.”

He can’t help but chuckle at that. Even so, it’s not going to make him totally drop this. “I’m serious. You guys are…”

Osomatsu nudges him carefully. “We’re being brothers, you boner. I know we suck at showing it sometimes, but… you know we all love each other, right? I guess it’s easier to show it when one of us is sick or hurt. Just so happens you’re the hurt one right now. And also your ass is on painkillers, so everything seems weird to you.”

… Okay, so maybe he can’t fault that logic. Still, though.

They’re both quiet for a long moment while they watch the screen, then Osomatsu lets out a soft hum. “You did good, you know. I don’t like that you tried to get yourself killed, but you did good.”

“I wasn’t trying to get myself killed,” Ichimatsu retorts with the nastiest facial expression he can muster right now. “I didn’t wanna get hit, either. But Karamatsu and Totty weren’t paying attention… I didn’t want them to get hit. I was trying to get us all out of that way… I just wasn’t fast enough.”

Osomatsu scoffs before reaching his hand up to ruffle Ichimatsu’s hair. He appears to be getting a lot of pets like that lately, not that he’s complaining. It feels really good and is one of the biggest comforts he has right now. “You protected them, anyway. I can’t say too much, because you didn’t do anything I wouldn’t have done if it were me.”

Ichimatsu offers a low, mocking wail. “Oh, shit. I’m turning into you. I think I’d rather be a cat. If I were a really bratty cat, you’d still be nice enough to feed me sardines and scratch behind my ears, right?”

“Uhhhh, I guess. You’re changing the subject, you dick.” A small puff of laughter makes his bangs move. “I just… wanna say I really respect you, man. Sometimes I remember the days when you would kick Karamatsu in the leg just for breathing the wrong way. And when you used to blow Totty off to hang with your friends in high school.”

He gets a shrug in response. “People change. We’ve all changed a lot.”

“Yeah, sure. I know.” His arm shifts down and he squeezes Ichimatsu’s good hand in that reassuring, proud way only an older sibling can. “They haven’t all been good changes. But seeing you trying to keep the others safe… that’s a a good change. Just gotta give you your props, Ichimacchan.”

He’s too tired to really argue with Osomatsu. Despite the fact that he knows he’s the shittiest of them all, he has to at least silently acknowledge that what he did prevented one of his older brothers and his baby brother from being in the same pain he’s in right now.

Instead of saying anything meaningful, he just presses himself in more against Osomatsu and mutters, “That’s nice. I’m tired.”

Osomatsu snorts and Ichimatsu feels a light kiss on top of his head. “Alright, dumbass, get some sleep. The pills are probably kicking in. Let me know if you need anything.”

Ichimatsu thinks that, right now, all he needs is his big brother to be the perfect pillow, and he’s doing a pretty good job of that.

Although it’s not dark at all the next time Ichimatsu wakes up, it’s significantly later than he meant to sleep. 3 P.M., meaning that once again he’s slept through a meal ― lunch, this time.

Just like last night, he finds that he’s not really all that hungry. Even so, it might be a good idea to eat, so probably he ask Osomatsu to get him something small.

When he shifts and looks over, though, Osomatsu isn’t there anymore. Instead, there’s Totty…

… Oh.

He’s holding onto Ichimatsu pretty tight. Ichimatsu isn’t sure he can move too much with the way Totty is holding him.

“Hey,” he says softly. “Totty? Everything okay?”

His little brother stiffens, wide eyes suddenly turning up to look at him. Unlike what he noticed about Karamatsu, Totty doesn’t have any physical injuries, but… the skin around his eyes is red and puffy. “Y… yeah, it’s all good. Sorry, am I hurting you?”

“No… not really hurting.” He doesn’t remember having seen Totty too much after everything happened. He visited Ichimatsu in the hospital, all teary-eyed and not talking, before they were all allowed to take him home. Once he got home, though, he can’t recall Totty being around a lot even though everyone else was.

He assumed Totty was freaked out after everything and avoiding him just because he’s emotional right now. Seems Ichimatsu was right about that.

He maneuvers his good arm to put it around Totty’s shoulders, pulling him in closer. “Have you been crying? You sure you’re okay?”

Totty sniffles and dips his head down. “Yeah, sorry… I just…”

“Don’t be sorry, dumbass.” Even though it hurts a little to move so much, Ichimatsu cuddles his brother in against him. “It’s fine, you big crybaby. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“I should be the one making sure you’re okay.” Regardless, Totty nestles in, tucking his head under Ichimatsu’s chin. It’s a bit of a weight on his hurt ribs, but it’s not that bad. “… H-hey. I, um. You know. I… I love you.”

Huh. It’s been a while since Totty has said that point-blank to any of his brothers, Ichimatsu thinks. It’s kind of nice to hear. He closes his eyes and offers an appreciative hum. “I love you, too. That it?”

Totty lets out a frustrated sigh, and Ichimatsu can just imagine the pout he has on his face. Kinda cute. He can’t really help himself; the youngest is always gonna be the baby, always gonna be adorable, even when he’s acting like a little bitch or if he wants to deny it. “I wanted to… say I’m sorry.”

“For…?”

“For… everything! Y-you know, for almost getting hit and… I mean, you got hurt trying to protect me and Karamatsu! If I hadn’t tried to follow him without even looking… you wouldn’t have had to worry about me. And… and I haven’t been with you too much since you got home…”

He nuzzles his head against Ichimatsu’s collarbone, kneading his hand against the top of his brother’s good leg. “I’m sorry about that. It’s just… I’ve been… really upset. It was scary, seeing the car hit you…”

The hum Ichimatsu gives this time is lower, pensive and understanding. “Yeah. Mom said you were crying a lot when she got to the hospital. ‘S okay to be kinda freaked out, you know.”

“Yeah, I know… and I was… am.I was scared the whole time… Karamatsu tried to wake you up, but you were just lying there and you wouldn’t…” Totty sniffles and his hand curls into a weak fist against Ichimatsu’s knee. “I didn’t wanna lose you, Ichimatsu-nii-san, and I was really afraid you were gone. I’m happy you’re okay… I just… I-I was pretty sure I was gonna cry the first time I tried to take care of you, so I… wanted to be alone with you. Crying in front of all you guys is…”

Ichimatsu nods to quiet his brother, ghosting a kiss over the top of Totty’s head. “I get it. It’s okay, Totty. C’mere, okay… you don’t have to be sorry for being freaked out and not wanting to cry and all that shit. I’m sure Karamatsu’s freaked out, too. And everyone else. Don’t apologize for your feelings, stupid.”

An indignant huff is the response he gets, before Totty presses in against Ichimatsu’s uninjured shoulder. “It just makes me think a lot,” he finally confesses.

Ichimatsu smirks. “Right. And you’re so out of practice with thinking, it’s hard. I know.”

“Th-that’s not it, you jerk!” Totty whines and brings his arms in, curled against his chest. His knees come up onto the couch, folded under him, as he tries to get comfortable. “It makes me think… anything could happen, at any moment, and that… might be it.And I know we’re all shitty to each other a lot of the time, but… but I love all of you.”

He sniffles, snuggling against Ichimatsu when his big brother pulls him even closer. “The thought that one of us might… die… I-I didn’t… I didn’t know how afraid I was of that… till I thought it happened. If one of us wasn’t here… it… it wouldn’t be the same anymore.”

“… Yeah.” Ichimatsu gives Totty a squeeze that’s maybe a little tighter than necessary. It’s not like he can pretend that Totty is wrong. He’s right. Even though they’re all assholes and treat each other like crap sometimes, the last thing any of them want is for their family to be… incomplete.

They sit quietly for what feels like a long time, holding each other. Breathing. Just existing in sync, in perfect understanding for a while.

Sometimes, it’s true, Ichimatsu is kind of a death seeker. Sometimes he really does want to die. Sometimes he doesn’t care about anything, and just wants it all to end so he doesn’t have to deal with the weight of life anymore.

Sometimes, though… sometimes he fights death with all he has. He thinks maybe that’s what happened after he got hit by the car.

It would have been easy to die then. To just let his injuries swallow him up and put out his life like blowing out a candle.

He’s in a lot of pain right now, but he’s not dead. There must be a reason, right?

He thinks this is the reason.

Holding his youngest brother and realizing how broken his absence would leave his family, thinking about how broken it would be if anyof them were gone, how much they love each other…

… For once, he’s happy to be alive.

#Osomatsu san #whump #Ichimatsu #Allmatsu #Iromatsu #Nenchuumatsu #Suujimatsu #Parkamatsu #110matsu #car accident #broken bones #medication #caretaking #HEY LOOK AT THESE AWESOME BROTHERS BEING AWESOME #SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG BUT I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF.........#PLS ENJOY THE FOOD <3

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smellsfaintlyofvanilla · 4 years ago

Note

author-chan!! can i have angst of annie leonhardt' s/o leaving her after she confesses that she's the female titan:(((

also i wish you luck with your blog ٩( ᐛ )و

tHIS HURT ME TO WRITE, ANNIE DESERVES HAPPINESS!

On another note though, thank you! I’m having fun so far ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

Oh, and to preface, this turned out a lot more angsty and violent than I had sort of planned in my head, so if you want something changed, I can easily go back and edit it.

Monster

(Annie Leonhart x Reader)

AU: Canon

Warnings: Slight violence, season 3 spoilers

Category: Angst

Summary: After finding out she is the Female Titan, Annie’s s/o leaves her, leaving her heartbroken and angry.

Words: 2.0K

The most recent scouting expedition was an absolute disaster.

You thought things were going well. One of your first scouting missions, and you had made it far into titan territory without much trouble.

But then, she appeared.

An abnormal for sure. Shown to be fast and agile, plus very intelligent, the Scouts stood no chance. She mindlessly ripped through your comrades in search of Eren, pushing all the way up to the forest, and wiping out almost all of the Levi squad.

Luckily, you were able to make it out of the mission relatively unscathed, physically anyway. Mentally, you were a mess. The experience messed you up for sure, you had never been more terrified of a titan before then. The fear of death that she instilled in you had shaken you to your core, and as soon as you were allowed to leave, you ran to the interior to find solace in your girlfriend, Annie.

Sneaking into the military police dormitories, as you had done many times before, you quietly pushed to the door open, poking your head in in search of the blonde.

You found her alone in bed, staring at the ceiling wordlessly. Her roommate, Hitch, was strangely absent. You wondered if she was getting ready for bed. It was a bit early, as the sun had just began to set, but you figured she may have just been tired.

She didn’t seem to notice you at first, which was unnatural of the usually extremely observant soldier. Still you paid no mind to it, calling out her name.

“Annie?”

She turned to face you, and a small smile graced her lips. But something was very off about it. The smile looked so... pained. Not fake, but pained. Like it hurt her just to smile.

“Can I come in?” You asked, just out of courtesy, since she looked like she had something on her mind.

She nodded, sitting up in her bed and patting the space next to her.

You climbed onto her bed, and the two of your shared a chaste kiss before you hugged her, burying your head in her shoulder. You inhaled slowly, taking in her calming, slightly sweet scent.

“I missed you...” You muttered.

She chuckled just a little, before wrapping her arms around you and falling backwards, pulling you with her so you were tucked into her side. “I missed you too...”

You snuggled closer into her chest, taking deep, relaxed breaths for the first time in days.

You laid in comfortable silence for a few minutes, before you finally started to talk about what had really been bugging you.

“The scouting mission was a disaster.” You said, slightly muffled into her chest. You could’ve swore you felt her breathing hitch and her muscles tense up at the mention of it.

You pulled your head out of her chest, not even waiting for her to beckon you to continue, deciding to keep talking anyway.

“There was this huge abnormal, and she was faster and smarter than any one I’ve ever seen before!” You cried out, not even bothering you control your voice. You needed this experience off of your chest as soon as possible. “She killed so many Scouts! I saw it all with my own two eyes, I thought for sure I was gonna die!” Tears formed in your eyes as you recounted the experience, images flashing through your head and screams ringing in your ears.

Your hands covered your eyes, eyes squeezing shut so tightly that bright colors seemed to flash over your vision as your eyebrows furrowed. Quiet sobs and sniffles escaped your lips.

After a moment, you realized Annie still hadn’t moved an inch. The Annie you know would’ve been shushing your cries and petting your hair, as she’s done so many times before, but right now, she didn’t move a muscle.

Your eyes fluttered wide open, and you bit your bottom lip to suppress your sobs. You shakily moved your head up to look at her. She was completely frozen, even her breathing had stopped momentarily, as she stared at the wall with wide, unmoving eyes. Her expression looked so mortified.

You gasped out loud as it finally clicked, your hands moving from your ears to cover your mouth, and your pure shock immediately stopped the flowing tears. All the pieces fell into place in your mind at once.

The expression on her face was recognizable anywhere. God, how did you not notice it before?!

Guilt.

Confused and panicked, you sat up and scampered to the opposite side of the bed, still in disbelief.

“A... Annie?” Your whisper was barely audible, but compared to the tense stillness of the room, she heard you perfectly. “Tell me it isn’t true...”

You had ignored it. You didn’t want to think about any of it. You didn’t want to think about how similar the female titan looked to her, or how the female titan had the same martial arts technique as her, or how strange she had been acting lately, especially now after the attack. You still clung to hope that, maybe, just maybe, you were wrong.

She finally sucked in a breath harshly through her clenched teeth, lowering her head in shame and hiding her eyes from yours.

“I...” She whispered. The tone in her voice almost made you pity her. She sounded so sad, like a kicked puppy. The furrow in your brow softened, but you remained on guard until she finished her sentence.

“I’m so sorry... Y/n...”

At that moment, you felt a switch flip in your mind. This was no longer the Annie you knew. She wasn’t the Annie that would lean on you silently during mealtimes, or the Annie that would kiss you on the forehead when you woke up together, or the Annie that smiled lovingly whenever you told her that you loved her.

No, not anymore. This was a monster. She was a monster.

Burning rage and heartbreak coursed through your veins, taking over your body as you lost any control you may have had. She didn’t need to try to apologize. She didn’t deserve forgiveness.

You grabbed her by the shoulders, and before she even had the chance to react, you tackled her off of the bed and onto the creaky wooden floors of the dorm, landing on top of her with a loud thud.

She shut her eyes and winced in pain for a moment, but she opened them to look at you. As soon as her eyes met yours, you saw them widen with fear. Not fear for her safety, she could easily beat you in a fight if she wanted to. No, this fear was different, it was something she had feared since she first started to fall for you. And right now, it seems that fear was becoming reality.

“WHY?!” You screamed, still hovering over her. Despite your anger, your face appeared distraught, tears falling from your eyes and onto her cheeks. The tears she usually wiped away endearingly were now flowing from your eyes, and it was all because of her.

“This whole time, you pretended to love me, while you were really just our enemy? Do you have any idea how many died because of you?! What are you doing this for?! WHY, ANNIE, WHY?!”

Tears fell from Annie’s eyes as she struggled to form a coherent sentence.

You remained on top of her, waiting impatiently for an answer. “Well?!”

“I... Y/N please... I’m sorr-” Her sentence was cut off as you raised your fist and struck her in the nose with all your might. Her head flung to the side, blood already spurting from her face.

“Don’t give me that sorry bullshit! You aren’t sorry at all! You just want to save your hide!”

You sat up from your previous position, but your knees stayed grounded on the floor to either side of her. You stared at her, your expression broken and unremorseful.

“You’re a traitor...” Your voice dropped to a solemnly low pitch, and a pained, almost hysterical laugh ripped through your throat. You calmed down within moments, however, and stared into her eyes. If looks could kill right now, she would be dead on the floor in an instant.

“You stood there with us and swore to fight against the titans... and then you went on to kill your own comrades... do you feel no remorse?” You shook your head, looking away as if she didn’t even deserve your acknowledgement. “You never deserved to wear the uniform. You should never have joined the ranks.”

You stood up, heading for the door. You turned to look at her once again, only to see that she hadn’t moved an inch, her head still facing to the side, looking away from you.

“Tch.” You turned around, twisting the doorknob and pushing the door open slowly.

“I can’t believe I thought I loved you,” You took a step out of the door. “You monster.”

---

Annie panted in front of the mirror, gripping the sides of the porcelain for support. The blood still leaked from her nose, the metallic taste making its way into her mouth and coating her tongue.

She looked at the mirror, and a stranger stared back. A stranger whose faced was still stained with tears. A stranger who was afraid. A stranger who, deep down, ached for her lover to return.

She should’ve known. Hell, Reiner warned her several times.

“I know you care about her, Annie, but you can’t get attached to, let alone involved with Y/N. It sacrifices the integrity of our mission as warriors.”

She winced at the memory, closing her eyes and trying to block it out. Still, his words wrapped itself around her brain.

“Besides, you know it well. We’re sinners, Annie. Monsters. We have a duty to serve, but that’s it. People will hate us simply for being born into this program, for inheriting our titans. Y/N is no different.”

She stared back into the mirror. The stranger who looked back had really believed that she could do it. That Y/N wouldn’t hate her when she inevitably found out her secret. How foolish, believing that she could be forgiven.

A sudden rush of anger and frustration washed over her, and her hand left the sink and struck the mirror in front of her. The reflection shattered, and the glass fell to the ground.

She didn’t bother to wash the blood off of her hand, or even pick the tiny shards of glass out of her hand before she punched the empty wall where the mirror used to be.

*POW*

She knew it, she always knew it, years before even being given her orders.

*POW*

Of course she knew it, how could she not?

*POW*

But she didn’t want to be reminded of it.

*POW*

She didn’t even want to think about it.

*POW*

She didn’t want it to be told to her face like that.

*POW*

And especially not by her.

*POW*

No matter how she faced it, she was just...

...

A monster.

---

She huffed in the midnight air as she ran, holding her limp right hand. It wouldn’t take a genius to look at it and tell immediately that she had shattered many of the bones in her fingers, but that didn’t matter right now. You knew her secret, and it wouldn’t be much time before you told the others.

She ran as fast as she could, skidding to a halt in front of the cabin that she unfortunately knew all too well.

---

Reiner awoke with a start, a painful sensation covering his chest. As he opened his eyes slowly, the blurry silhouette in front of him delivered another swift kick to his ribs. He groaned painfully as the silhouette began to clear.

“Annie?” Confusion and fatigue laced his speech heavily. Across the room, Bertholdt began to stir awake.

“Reiner,” She spoke. His eyes widened as he gazed into her eyes. The icy blue orbs appeared as though no one was behind them. She looked broken, as if a painful realization had shattered her entire world. “Get up. Now.”

“Huh?” He sat up, noticing her battered and bruised hand, only heightening his confusion.

“We’re going to go get Eren.” She spoke, an eerie monotony to her voice.

“Whether you like it or not,” She continued. “This mission ends today.”

SAAHFKSJHLDFSKHACKJH I NEVER WANT TO WRITE ANNIE IN PAIN AGAIN I FEEL SO BAD AAAAAAAAAAA

also, i put so much effort into this, but it feels really bad for some reason :|

Also I couldn’t write Annie punching the wall without comparing her to a Kyle™ lol.

Well, still, I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know if I should change anything.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #aot imagines #annie leonhart x reader #annie leonhart #angst

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ja-khajay · 3 years ago

Text

Stuff I read (and liked) this year

As promised, here’s a list of the novels, comics, manga, etc... I read this year, focusing on the ones I enjoyed and would recommend to people. Under a cut, this is going to be a little long.

-------- Books --------

Favorite book of the year: Stranger in the Woods, by Michael Finkel

Non-fiction. Based on the interviews of the man himself by the author, it is about a man who felt so unfit for society he decided one day to leave it, and spent the next 28 years as a hidden hermit in forest in Maine. The book details how he survived there, how he was eventually found, and some of his reasons for doing so. It’s a great reflection on the nature of loneliness.

Indian creek, by Pete Fromm

...Yet another detailed tale of living alone in the woods. This time, the diary of a student who spent a winter in the mountains to help tend for salmon hatchlings, and how he spent the rest of his days hiking, hunting, meeting the locals. It’s a fun little book who, being set almost the whole world away from where I live, was a nice way to travel.

Howl’s Moving Castle, by Diana Wynne Jones

I don’t feel the need to explain this one since everyone and their mom has seen the movie adapted from it. The book, that I first read a decade ago before I actually watched the film, is a less romantized, more spirited telling of the same story. The writing is absolutely delightful and so is the world it paints, and it’s the first time in ages a book had me laughing out loud during my entire read.

-------- Comics (BD) --------

Favorite comic of the year: Monsieur Désire?, by Hubert and Virginie Augustin

A discreet young woman becomes a maid for a decadent, unbearable, byronesque young lord. Caked in the rigid and oppressive social hierarchy of the victorian era, you follow a mental and verbal joust between the two, as the lord tries his best to offend and corrupt his new unrelenting servant, to little success. The writing and especially the dialogues were stellar, drawing me into the tense atmosphere, watching this trainwreck of a character flamboyantly destroy himself. While there’s no precise content warnings that I can give, this is a mature and heavy story.

World of Edena, by Moebius

Anyone who’s followed this blog for over a month knows how much of a Moebius fan I am. Edena combines the vague, dreamlike, wordless storytelling from stuff like Arzach or The cat’s eyes with an actual plot. While I haven’t completly finished the story, the evolution of the main characters and how the story is told have been great to read through, and as always the art is beyond gorgeous. Unfortunately suffers from some good old sexism in the writing that even if minimal, tasted sour

Le roman de Renart, by Joan Sfar (book 1)

Sfar’s work always has a signature vibe of being dreamy and light without being light hearted, of being down to earth but drifting in the fantastical, and this one is no exception. It’s an adaption of a series of medieval folk tales I grew up with, who uses the same characters to tell an original story. If you’re familiar with icons like Renart as well as other mythological big boys like Merlin you’ll fit right in. There is something special in how the dialogues are written, who feel natural in a way that you’d overhear in a street corner and is very special to me.

The mercenary, by VIncente Segrelles

Another one I post about a lot on this blog. The mercenary is a king on the throne of fantasy cheese. The worldbuilding is interesting at times but the writing is a pretty pathetic display of glorious old time sword and sorcery sci-fantasy 10 years too late for it’s prime (warning for ye old sexism and orientalism that plagues the genre, cranked very high...) but you come and stay for the art. The entire thing is drawn in a series of hyper detailed oil paintings with an insane eye for technical detail, from the engineering of the weaponry, to the architecture and weather, to the anatomy of the fantasy creatures... Each panel stands out as it’s own painting which makes even flipping through it without reading the scenario a treat. Click here to see more of the art, in my Segrelles tag.

The ice maurauder, by Jacques Tardi

A short story about mad scientists entirely drawn like a 19th century engraving. In great Tardi tradition everyone is ugly and mean, it ends terribly, it’s both a hommage to the genre of late 19th cent. to early 1900s dramatic adventure novels and a critical eye on it, and it’s morbidly funny. Most people I saw online hated the way this was written but I’m not them and I really recommend this book. Die mad

-------- Manga --------

Favorite manga of the year: it’s a tie between the following two.

Cats of the Louvre, by Taiyo Matsumoto

Most wonderful comic I have read in ages. The story follows a bunch of semi-feral cats secretly living in the Louvre museum’s attic, and the small group of humans who share their life, walking through the museum as the night watch. When the cats are together, they are represented in a humanoid way, but still act like animals, and “become” cats again when a human is nearby. The plot is a sort of supernatural mystery centered around a kitten who walks around paintings. It’s a love letter to art, sincere and beautiful, with a unique art style and great characters.

Memoirs of amorous Gentlemen, by Moyoco Anno

A sex worker in early 20th century paris starts writing down a diary of the clients she meets, in a quest to cope with the troubles of her life. You follow her, her colleagues, and her bittersweet relationship with an abusive lover. I don’t have much words about this comic, but the art and writing both are amazing, it’s the perfect length and drew me in like little series had before. Obvious content warnings as this is an adult story that talks about sexuality, but also depicts both mental and physical abuse.

Hana, also by Taiyo Matsumoto

A very short story, this was not made to be read as a comic originally, but served as storyboarding and visual development for a play, and the way it is written follows that. Hana is a slice of life story set in a fantasy world, of a young boy, his family, his village. Despite the setting being an original one, the character interactions are refreshingly... normal, and there is no huge plot to speak of, just a bit of the life of these characters. The art is beautiful, entirely black and white, with a scratchy style and an emphasis on contrast. Matsumoto is on a speedy road to becoming my favorite manga artist haha

Delicious in Dungeon, by Ryoko Kui

While not marked as my year’s favorite, I still consider this series among my favorite manga ever. The art and writing are amazing, and it’s both heartfelt, well concieved and plain hilarious. The story follows several parties of dungeon diving adventurers each on their little quests with a premise of our protagonists, on a panic rescue mission, surviving in the dungeon by cooking and eating the monsters they come across. From a DnD party turned cooking manual dinner of the week beginning, the plot creeps up on you and slowly thickens. I don’t want to spoil anything about the overarching story of this because it was a delight to discover for myself. While everything about DinD rules, I am especially fond of the design philosophy of the author, who puts great detail in the practicality and biology of what she draws, as well as the character writing. Everyone even side characters has so much charm and depth to them, the cast is so diverse and entertaining...! Each character is just a bit lame enough but endearing, and has their own little backstory that shows in the way they exist. It’s a delight

Chainsaw man, by Tatsuki Fujimoto

I went into CSM expecting a borderline campy hyperviolent dumb fun thing to read and was very surprised to find an uncomfortably well written story about a teenager being groomed. The hyperviolent dumb fun fights are here nonetheless and the series still qualifies as shonen for some reason, but the more mature character writing as well as some truly outlandish visuals make it something very special. If you can’t stand shonen, not sure you will like it, but if you don’t mind it, worth trying.

Witch hat atelier, by Kamome Shirahama

The oh so elegant fantasy seinen every cool kid started posting about this year, who I also succumbed to and fast. Witch hat is hard to explain, as most of it’s plot revolves around the rules of the world it’s set in, specifically the regulations around it’s magic and the social and historical reasons for them. It’s about growing up, learning, disability, making art. You follow a little girl taken in by a witch as an apprentice, her magical education, and learn little by little why her lovely teacher is so willing to break a lot of rules... While a bit too gentle and pretty for my taste at times, Witch hat has great worldbuilding and explores sensitive themes I rarely see in manga, much less in fantasy. And Berserk wishes it had art this good

#j #long post

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lala-ladybug · 4 years ago

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Healing Hands: Chapter 1

Hello hello! First fic here, it’s a Maribat AU with a side of Sword Art Online. Or what I remember from having watched the show once about five years ago. We’ve got Marinette and minimal class salt, Young Justice but only the good parts, and primarily Jasonette. Please spread the word (I am a tiny sideblog) and let me know what you think <3

Read here on AO3

Chapter 1: You have no idea how many baddies I’m going to blow up because of you

Friday, at long last. Marinette could not have exhaled a bigger sigh of relief. It was mid-way through the school term, her commissions were ramping up, and Hawkmoth had become frustratingly active. Her duties as class president had only increased as she and her friends neared the end of lycée, not to mention all the studying she was doing for the baccalauréat on top of her regular school work. Commissions were booming now that her popularity as the anonymous designer MDC was soaring worldwide. She wouldn’t give any of it up for the world, but she might enjoy getting more than three or four hours of sleep for once.

There was only part of her life that had gotten easier since that day three years ago when she was entrusted with a pair of spotted earrings and an old god to match. Ladybug started out with one partner, but she now had a whole team to share the responsibilities of keeping their city safe. Ryuko and Viperion became permanent fixtures of the Parisian rooftops, and Bourdonne replaced Queen Bee after the infamous (albeit self-inflicted) unmasking of Chloe Bourgeois. The people of Paris looked to these heroes with pride and trust.

And Marinette Dupain-Cheng, now the Guardian of the Miraculous, looked to her partners with trust as well. She had decided that with her in charge, she could no longer keep secrets from her friends, from her new Order of the Guardians. She discussed it with Chat Noir, and he had smiled and agreed that it was time. And one day, when Ladybug gathered her teammates on a remote rooftop in the dead of night, she said only “I trust you,” before allowing her transformation to fall.

She wasn’t nervous, not really. She knew Kagami and Luka had good hearts, and she had seen firsthand how much Chloe had grown. Those three accepted her civilian self, her true self, without half a thought, and followed their leader in dropping their transformations as well. Chloe got her quips in while Ladybug looked to Chat Noir.

He passed his gaze over the faces of their friends and smirked like he was holding in a laugh. As he said “Claws in,” Marinette could hear the laugh in his voice, an intonation that sounded so very familiar, and oh. Of course.

Adrien Agreste beamed at his friends, both in the mask and out, and said fondly, “I’m so glad it’s you.”

The rest, of course, was history. For the year and a half since then, the five heroes of Paris had kept the city safe from threats magical and mundane alike. Hawkmoth had, of course, gotten craftier and more vicious with his attacks, sometimes choosing to send bursts of weaker akumas over the span of a week, sometimes waiting a month before sending an especially brutal villain their way.

But it was nothing that the Order of the Guardians couldn’t handle. Even though it could get exhausting after a while, which is why the incoming weekend was a welcome reprieve. There was another reason why this particular weekend was so exciting, which was that a new video game, Mindscape, was debuting. It would be released at midnight EST, which was 6:00 in the morning for Paris.

“Today’s the day, girl!” Alya squealed as she flagged Marinette down on their way to the classroom. “We are so lucky that our class won that raffle to get these exclusive passes. I bet I’ll be the first blog to get the scoop on this new tech they’re using!”

Marinette giggled and started to reply, “Super lucky, right? I’m excited too, I heard--”

“You know,” Lila cut her off as she sidled up to Alya. “I’m not saying that I didn’t enter us to get those downloads, but I was a big help with beta testing.”

How she managed to time that comment just as the three girls crossed the threshold of the classroom, and how she managed to know that nearly the whole class would already be there to hear it, Marinette would never understand. She only had to wait a moment before the rest of their friends rushed to the door to thank Lila.

“This opportunity is amazing, we are incredibly grateful!” Max was first in line, ever the technology-enthusiast.

Kim pushed his shorter friend out of the way and vigorously shook Lila’s hand. “You have no idea how many baddies I’m going to blow up because of you.” Lila looked a little overwhelmed as he continued to shake her hand all the while, and she gave him a nervous smile.

He was soon pushed out of the way as Alix muscled her way to the front next. “I definitely owe you for giving me the chance to kick his ass in a brand new way!” She jerked her head to where Kim had landed on the floor, pouting at her.

As the rest of the class who would be joining them in the game’s premiere expressed their thanks, Alya looked on with an affectionate smile. She was so very happy that she now had two kind, selfless best friends. Her smile fell a little as she noticed Marinette stoically edging her way around the crowd and up to her seat, not having said a word to Lila. Alya just wished that her two besties would get along.

Alya put a hand on Lila’s shoulder and smiled her thanks before following Marinette to what was once their shared desk. “You really should thank her, you know,” Alya implored hopefully.

Without turning around to face Alya, Marinette paused and shared an incredulous look with Adrien, who was already seated at his shared desk with Nino. She then shrugged and replied, “Lila never actually said that she got us the passes,” before continuing up the steps to her seat at the back of the class. Alya shook her head and sat down. It was always like this, a cool indifference from Marinette whenever Lila came up. They were both such incredible people, Alya couldn’t understand why they didn’t get along.

As for Marinette, she was semi-content to let Lila be as long as her lies didn’t hurt anybody. Her unrealistic promise to take away all of Marinette’s friends was never fulfilled, and honestly the amount of emotional energy it used to sap from her just wasn’t worth it anymore. Marinette had no idea how Lila was going to get her hands on a copy of the game when Mari was, of course, the one who had won the raffle. She distributed the special access passes herself, and Lila certainly hadn’t gotten one. If this was the way that she wanted to make friends, she would eventually have to face the consequences.

But for now, Lila was basking in her praise. That is, until she glanced at her phone and gave a small gasp of dismay.

“What’s wrong?” Rose asked, concern already etched on her face.

Lila covered her mouth with one hand and started rapidly blinking back tears. “It’s my VIP copy of the game. There was a mixup in the mail and it won’t get here in time for tomorrow morning! I’m so sorry everyone, it looks like you’ll have to do it without me....” She buried her face in her hands and her shoulders trembled with barely restrained sobs.

The class shared a worried look, and Sabrina piped up, “It’s okay Lila, you can borrow my copy.” Lila immediately looked up and surged forward to clasp the hands of her friend.

“Really? But won’t it have the same problem?” Sabrina smiled and shook her head. “Nope, it’s a digital download! I don’t mind, you can always trade it back when your VIP pass arrives later.”

Lila gave her a brilliant smile, any tears long-since dried. “Oh, thank you so much Sabrina! I’ll see what I can do about getting you a VIP pass too once mine gets here.”

At that moment, Chloe walked in, and one look at the scene displayed in front of her had her rolling her eyes at her former best friend. She gracefully swept up the steps to join Marinette at the back of the classroom and whispered to her, “Aren’t they all digital downloads?”

Marinette, who had started unpacking her bag to prepare for class, inclined her head and gave the blonde a meaningful look that indicated yes, they were indeed all digital downloads. Chloe snickered and started preparing her own side of the desk.

After the fiasco of outing herself as Queen Bee, Chloe had lost the minimal support and tolerances she had been allowed before. It gave her time to truly reflect on how she acted and treated other people. She had since been quietly making amends with those she’d wronged, and the person on the top of that list was Marinette Dupain-Cheng. It took time and a lot of effort on Chloe’s part, but she mellowed out and did a lot of growing up. She still spoke her mind, though.

“Huh that’s strange, I got the VIP package too, but mine was a digital pass,” Chloe loudly proclaimed, studying her nails nonchalantly as the rest of the class turned to look up at her.

Lila grit her teeth into a forced smile and replied sweetly, “Well that’s because mine was an original beta testing copy that they had to update for the full game.” She turned her attention to Marinette and a note of false concern crept into her voice. “Oh Marinette, I hope you’ll still have time to come too! I know you’ll be busy this weekend with planning the spring class field trip. It would be such a shame if it didn’t happen because you were too busy playing a video game.”

Marinette suddenly felt very warm under the gazes of the entire class. She stammered out, “Oh-of course we’ll get to go! Don’t worry, I have a meeting with the school board on Monday.” Trust Lila to sniff out the one thing that had slipped below her radar.

Lila’s eyes lit up with an opportunistic gleam. “That’s great! Where will it be?”

“Well, uh, the school board has to review the location, so I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I can tell you that it will be in, um,” her eyes flicked around wildly and landed on the posterboard of different flags from the prior week’s lessons. “America!”

The class burst into excited chatter moments before Madame Bustier arrived and the late bell rang. Marinette released a breath and sagged in her seat. Saved by the bell.

Chloe gave her a sidelong glance and murmured, “America, huh?”

“Shut up,” Marinette shot back.

* * *

Madame Bustier tried to get the class to pay attention, she really did. They struggled through their lessons before lunch, the volume of side conversations between deskmates swelling all the while. The moment the bell for lunch dismissal rang, the students exploded into conversation as they left the classroom.

Marinette waved as Chloe and Adrien walked off to go meet Kagami and Luka at a nearby cafe. She breezed into the patisserie across the street from Francois Dupont and gave her surprised Maman a kiss on the cheek.

“I thought you were going out with your friends for lunch?” Sabine asked, balancing a tray of eclairs on her hip. “I forgot I have to plan our class trip!” Marinette replied cheerfully as she hurried into the kitchen to quickly fix herself a croque-monsieur. She gave her Papa a hug as she finished preparing her meal. He shouted up at her to not make a mess as she retreated into her room to eat at her desk.

She gave a small snort at that. It was nearly impossible for her to make a mess of food when she had over a dozen Kwami there to clean up after her, but he didn’t know that. She greeted said Kwami with a delighted grin and a wave as she set her plate down by her desktop computer.

“Marinette, why are you back so early?” Tikki asked, “is everything okay?” The other Kwami swarmed around her as she woke her computer up and logged in.

The girl waved one hand nonchalantly and opened up a web browser with the other. “Everything’s fine, I just forgot about planning the class trip!” She took a huge bite of the sandwich and started typing furiously. Several Kwami dove after the crumbs that sprayed everywhere.

“Ohhh, I see! Do you have an idea of where to start?” Tikki zoomed around Marinette’s shoulder to hover next to the monitor screen.

Marinette had the same determined gleam in her eye as when she finally found the perfect fabric for a design. She said confidently around a mouth full of ham, “America.”

* * *

By the time the lunch break had finished, Marinette had a preliminary list of cities on the East Coast of the United States. She had researched Gotham first, but it looked far too dangerous and gloomy. Next was New York City, which she determined was too big. Philadelphia was historic, but in a way that would definitely bore her classmates. Boston was too cold despite its excitement. Which left Metropolis as the perfect candidate. It was also protected by the perfect superheroes, Superman and his family, so she was absolutely confident the school board would approve of the city.

Of course, the meeting on Monday would need more specifics than just the city, but she was pleased with her progress so far. Marinette shut down her monitor, grabbed her backpack and plate from lunch, and went downstairs to the kitchen. She quickly scrubbed and dried her plate in the sink before waving to her parents as they bustled around, accommodating the tail end of the mid-day rush.

Marinette walked across the street with a spring in her step and, spotting a tall flash of blue hair, half-jogged up to her group of friends.

“Hey guys, sorry I couldn’t make it to lunch!” She grinned apologetically at Kagami and Luka.

“That’s alright Melody,” Luka gave her a side hug, “Chloe told us you were busy planning your class trip.”

Adrien slung an arm around Kagami’s shoulder and pulled his girlfriend closer to whisper conspiratorially to her, “I hear we’re going to America.” She laughed softly at his antics and at Marinette who stuck her tongue out at him. Kagami then said to Marinette, “That sounds delightful, Marihime. I trust you will still be joining us tomorrow morning?”

Marinette’s eyes lit up with excitement at the prospect of playing the game with her friends all weekend long. “Definitely! I’m going to finish preparing for the school board meeting tonight so that we can play the second it comes out.”

“If you can wake up on time,” Chloe teased.

Marinette crossed her arms defensively and stated with pride, “I already set three alarms, thank you very much!”

Adrien burst out laughing at that. “Leave it to our everyday Ladybug,” he winked. Her face flushed as she pouted. He chuckled again and kissed Kagami on the top of her head. “See you later, mon coeur.”

She and Luka waved to the rest of the group as they left to return to their own schools. The three Francois Dupont students watched them go for a moment before returning inside.

“So, you and Kagami have plans?” Chloe asked.

“Yeah! Our parents gave special permission for a sleepover at my place tonight so we can play the game right when it comes out tomorrow.” Adrien rubbed the back of his neck, a nervous habit he had never quite abandoned. “But I’m not sure how often we’ll be able to be online with you guys after this weekend. You know how busy our schedules are....”

Marinette elbowed him lightly as they walked. “It’s a blessing you both managed to convince your dad and her mom to let you come to the launch at all! We’ll play together when we can, it’s no big deal.”

Adrien smiled gratefully at her and held the door open for both Marinette and Chloe as they entered the classroom. Alya was already there, and once she spotted her best friend (well, one of them), she skidded down the steps with a huge grin and held an invisible microphone up to Marinette.

“Thank you Nadja, and good afternoon Paris! This is Alya Cesaire, and today I am joined by young fashion designer Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Mlle. Dupain-Cheng, can you give us an exclusive scoop on the trip you’re planning for your class?”

“Good afternoon Mlle. Cesaire,” Marinette giggled, “Unfortunately, the trip has yet to be approved by the school board so no details just yet. But I can tell you with certainty that we will be visiting the resident city of some popular American superheroes.” She winked as she finished in her best interview voice.

Alya gasped and dropped her pretend microphone as she hugged her best friend. “Really!? Oh my gosh girl, you are the best!”

Marinette laughed and hugged her back as Alya jumped and spun them around. Once they pulled apart, she told the brunette, “As soon as the school board gives me the green light, you’ll be the first to know.”

The late bell rang and the girls practically skipped to their respective seats as Madame Bustier called the class to attention. Well, “attention” in the loosest sense of the word. They struggled once more through the majority of their lessons, but Madame Bustier seemed to sense defeat and she let them chatter excitedly for the last twenty minutes before dismissal.

Kim and Alix were boasting about how they were going to stay up all night, while Max encouraged them to maximize the time they would be able to play the next day by getting a full night’s sleep in before the launch time.

Lila bragged about her role in the creation of the game from its conception to even having suggested the highly anticipated date of release. Adrien pointedly ignored Lila in the row behind his and discussed the music they had recorded and mixed for the game with a very enthusiastic Nino.

Sabrina looked on a little sadly until Mylene, Ivan, Rose, and Juleka invited her to join their Disney movie marathon double-date instead. Mylene was too nervous to play the game so Ivan chose to sit out to support her, and video games weren’t really Rose and Juleka’s style. Sabrina’s face softened as she gratefully accepted their invitation.

Nathaniel turned around in his seat to talk to Marinette about the art rendering and the programs they used while Chloe scrolled aimlessly on her phone.

By the time the bell finally rang, the class was beyond excited to go prepare for the launch the next morning.

Marinette, to her credit, swallowed her enthusiasm and sat down to fully plan out their trip to Metropolis. It was grueling work, researching the safest hotel that was still in a central location. It had to be affordable but not shabby, too, because they had a limited budget. She eventually settled on the reputable Wayne Hotel, apparently part of an enormous corporation called Wayne Enterprises, and then began to build an itinerary with different events from there.

She worked nonstop the rest of the night, with the exception of a brief dinner break, and it was nearly 11:00 at night by the time she finished. Marinette sat up from her desk chair and stretched, then double-checked that her alarms were set before finally heading to bed.

#marinette dupain cheng #jasonette #sword art online au #virtual reality #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug fic #maribat #maribat fic #healing hands

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gr0vndz3ro · 5 years ago

Text

Hypnosis

Cop!Bakugou x Villain!Reader(NSFW)

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Cursing, forced sub!bakugou, dom! reader, dub con, bondage because if you think im writing a cop au and not use hand cuffs youre dead wrong, choking, degradation, spit, oral, overstimulation, gagging, hair pulling, unprotected sex

Word count: 3973

A/N: Me and @1-800-callmekatsuki were thirsting over bakugou for hours and I HAD to write this. I ended up getting really into this so it ended up being a little longer than I expected but I hope y’all enjoy. Also this is the photo that got this whole fic started. The art is not mine.

*PSA*

A little side note I’ve gotten a few comments in regards to the current situation going on in the US and trust me I get it, but this blog is just a place for me to personally escape the things going on irl. I wasn’t writing this in correlation to anything going on and I’m sorry if people think this is bad timing but this story is free of any personal opinion and just something fun for people to read. I want my blog to be for other people what it is for me, just something to enjoy. If for any reason this story bothers you I’m really sorry🥺🥺 I’m just a horny girl who just want to write smut and I think fbi/ cop bakugou is hot 😭 If reading anything in regards to a cop (even when not negative) is something that bothers you then please feel free to keep scrolling. I don’t take any offense to people not liking this, but I did work hard on this and for those of you do read it I hope you guys enjoy it. ❤️

Arms crossed against his broad chest, Katsuki scoffed at the briefing he was just given by his chief. The criminal that the precinct had just managed to catch was believed to be tied to the League of Villains. Y/N Y/L/N, her quirk was called Sirens Song. She’s able to control men with just the sound of her voice. She had been caught trying to smuggle weapons, thought to be for the L.O.V, in a boat that she stole from two unfortunate men that happened to cross her path.

This whole thing was a waste of his time, he could be out there trying to find the actual threats. Instead he was in this meeting, listening to the description of just another wannabe villain. When the chief had finished with the case details, Katsuki got up from the chair, ready to go back to his patrol when the man spoke up again.

“We are going to be keeping her in holding for a few days to try to get as much information we can get out of her to see if she’s the connection to the League that we’ve been looking for. On the screen you will see a list of the interrogation times and who goes when, as well as who will be covering what over night watch shift. After you have checked for your name you are free to go.”

Rolling his eyes, the blond walks over to the board and sees he is set as the over night guard for tonight. He clenches his jaw, instead of being able to go home after a long day, he’s forced to work all night. Watching some criminal trying to pass as a real target. He whips his head to his boss, stomping over.

“Oi, what the hell is this supposed to be huh?! You got me working for 24 hours, ain’t that illegal or some shit?” Not being able to control his anger at the situation.

“Officer Bakugou I see that you’ve taken a look at the board. Don’t worry about the work load, you’ve been assigned to a fairly peaceful district so there shouldn’t be to much strain on you. If there any other problems you have I would recommend biting your tongue. You’re already on thin ice this week due to you run in with Officer Midoriya. Be grateful you are involved in this case in anyway. Now if that will be all.” The chief says not allowing Katsuki the time to interject, leaving afterwards to go to his office.

Left there grinding his teeth, he holds back his dying urge to curse the man out and leaves the building to start his “easy” patrol. He hated easy days, it wasn’t what he had joined for. He wanted to hunt down bad guys and make them suffer for what they did. He wanted to put away thugs and criminals, not right a ticket for an unpaid parking meter. I’m to good of a cop to be a fucking meter maid. His jaw firm as he thinks about the cases other stations were working on. The good that he could be doing if he wasn’t here, having his talent go to waste. Saving people was what he wanted to do, be the hero that saves the day. But all because of his temper, he now had the “easy” shift.

He pulled back into the station at 10 pm to start the over night watch. mostly everyone had gone home, except for the few stragglers finishing up their last amounts of paperwork for the week. He heads to the break room to grab something quick to eat when the chief walked into the room.

“There is a few things I wanted to tell you about your shift tonight and about the situation at hand. The suspect quirk is very powerful, while the room they’re in cancels quirks, the effects of hers can still be felt to some degree. They are no where near her normal strength and more of a temptation that most are able to snap out of after a few seconds. Do not under estimate her Bakugou, do you hear me? I will not be filling a missing suspect report because you are to arrogant to follow commands.” The chief explain to him, belittling him the process. If the anger he felt could be seen physically, everything in the room would have been exploded.

“Yeah, yeah I hear you loud and clear. The idiot isn’t gonna be a problem.. sir.” His attitude barely peaking out at the end of his sentence, a slight smirk on his lips. With that response, his boss leaves for the night, officially leaving Katsuki alone in the station to start his second shift of the day.

Coffee. If there was any way that he was going to get through this night it was going to be with lots of coffee. He goes to the coffee pot and makes himself a small pot. With a mug in his hand he starts his walk over to the holding cells. He turned the corner and sees you sitting there in the cell. His eye widen subtly, Damn she’s hot. Maybe he wouldn’t need coffee after all. He took his seat near your cell so keep an eye on you. There wasn’t much he could really do. There was no way for you to get out. Basically he was just there to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself until the detectives come back to investigate you more. As he sat there he got a good look at you. Your clothes were dirty a torn from you chase from the cops, rips on you pants exposing parts of your thighs, and the rip on you shirt showed just enough of your abdomen to leave him dirty thoughts. Thoughts of how soft your skin is, how it would feel under his calloused fingers. How you would react to his touch, goosebumps covering your skin. He looks up to your face. Small scratches liter it but that does nothing to hide how beautiful you are. The way your eyes catch the light and how pieces of your hair fall out of your pony tail framing you face. Your hair slightly a mess, probably due to running yet all he could think about was how much he wanted to mess it up even more. You run his hands through it and just yank your head back with a fist full of your locks. The two of you hadn’t even exchanged words to each other but he knew he wanted you. You’re eyes met his after he was done checking you out.

“Do you like what you see?...” Your eye brow raised in amusement as you caught his wandering eyes. You take this time to check out the officer who you assumed would be watching you tonight. His uniform and vest highlighting how broad his chest is, the sleeves tight around his arms due to the amount of muscle it was trying to contain. His pants tightened around his thighs. Blond hair slightly covering his eyes. He clenches his jaw and you swear that thing could cut diamonds. This man was hot and you cant help but smirk at the fact he was checking you out. You look back down to his chest to see his name tag, Bakugou. “...Officer Bakugou” His face immediately pulls into a scowl in defense.

“Oh you fucking wish” He pulls his eyes away from you and rest his head on the back of his seat. He shifted in his seat, trying to get comfortable, finding it impossible as this chair was a piece of shit. So he stands up and starts looking around trying to find something else to focus on. You break him out of his thoughts.

“Do you have anything else that I could wear? These clothes are ruined and I’d like to be in proper clothing.” You say in reference to your tattered clothes, ruined by jumping over fences and having them get caught and rip. You hear a ‘tsk’ and see him start to walk off. Rolling your eyes at the mans action, you sit down on the chair in your cell seeing as he walked off without giving you a response.

“Here” you look up to see him sliding a shirt and pair of pant in through the bars. You walk over and grab them from his hands, running your finger tips across his skin in the process. He yanks his hand back before you can try to touch him again. You wanted more. Frowning, you walk back near the chair and set your clothes down on it, your hands go to the edge of you shirt but you stop feeling a burning gaze on your back. You turn around to see him staring at you.

“Do you mind?” Raising your eye brow at him.

“I have to watch you to make sure you don’t attempt to do anything that could cause harm to yourself.” He says coldly, as if he wasn’t dying at the opportunity to see what was under your clothes.

“Okay then suit yourself.” With a smirk on your lips you pull you shirt off over your head, making sure that he could see everything. You slowly fold it and move down to you pants, your finger lingering at the zipper for a moment before pulling it down. Your hands make there way to waist band and tug them down, shimming out of the tight pants, making you butt sway infront of him. If he was going to watch you, you were going to make sure he got a good show out of it. Hands linger around your curves as you snake the fabric down your legs at an agonizingly slow pace. Katsuki could feel his pants tightening at the sight, his breath catching in his throat. A smirk across your face as you see his flustered reaction to your stripping. Activating your quirk you slowly walk over to the bars separating the two of you.

“Why don’t you get in here” Your words putting the man in a trance as he struggles against your suggestion. Starting to get ticked of he isn’t already subdued you speak up again, “Don’t make me repeat myself, you wont like the consequences.” He feels himself start moving towards your cell against his better judgement. He fights against the feeling in his chest pulling him forward, but before he knows it he’s infront of you inside of the cell. A sinister shine in your eyes as you step closer to the blond, closing the distance, Katsuki could feel the room getting hotter. Your hands make its way to his chest, paralyzing him underneath your touch.

“Look at you, now go be good boy for me and sit down.” His face burns red at the demand, no one talks to him like this, so why was it turning him on so much. He stays in his place as his last attempt at keeping his dominance over the situation. Your hand travels up to his jaw, fingers roughly grasping either side as you growl into his ear, your patience being tested “Do not test me pretty boy, do what you’re told.”

You see him struggling against your command feeling conflicted at the switch of power. You put both of you hands on his chest and push him down onto the chair. His eyes wide unable to stop you as you reach down into his pouch grabbing his cuffs. Quickly, you rip off his vest and shirt leaving his torso bare. You walk behind him in the chair, your hands on his shoulders running down his arms, a burning trail left where ever your nails lightly scratch, until your hands make it his wrists. Roughly grabbing them and yanking them behind his back, cuffing his wrist to the chair, permanently securing him in place to allow you to do whatever you please. He assumed you were just going to take advantage of the situation and leave, but he was sorely mistaken. You travel to the front of him leaning forward to kiss his jaw, traveling down to his neck. You roam his neck, searching for his pulse, kissing it once you find it. A groan rips out past his lips, unable to stop it at the sudden pleasure coursing through him. The noise sending a wave over power over you as you start kissing more harshly, sucking and biting at the spot, desperately wanting to hear the noise again.

Once satisfied with the mark now on his neck, you back up standing in front of him, your hands moving down to his pants as you start undoing them. His eyes widen as you pull down his pants and underwear down in one swift movement, his raging boner slapping against his abdomen as he sucks in a harsh breath at the release from the tight confinement. A whine leaves his lips as your hands leave burning trails all over his body, purposely avoiding where he was starting to crave your touch most. Desperate to know how your soft touches would feel against him, the anticipation of whether you’d be gentle or not was starting to eat him alive.

“Did I hear a whine baby? Are you that desperate for me. Look at you, rock hard and I haven’t even done anything yet, absolutely disgusting.” Your words like venom. He twitches as your hand grasps the base of his cock, a deep gasp coming out at your sudden touch. Your other hand goes to his hip pushing him down. Your mouth goes to his ear, “If you fucking move again, I will stop do you understand?” Katsuki swallows hard, suddenly unable to find any words. He hisses as you hand leaves his dick to his throat, choking the man. “Answer me Bakugou”

“Yes princess” He couldn’t help it anymore. He was under your trance but he could care less, all he knew was he needed you. That evil smirk crosses your face once again at his submission.

“Good boy” You release his neck and trail back down to his throbbing dick. Your thumb brushes over his tip collecting all of the precum oozing out of it. You slowly pump him in your hand, his breath catching in his throat. You gather the excess saliva in your mouth and spit it onto his hard cock. His eyes shoot to yours as the cool liquid meets his burning hot member.

Your hand starts a steady past as you move up and down, making sure to add pressure to the prominent vein on the underside of his shaft. Your hand twisting every time you get to his tip earning a deep groan from his throat. He gets lost in ecstasy as you start picking up the pace, giving extra attention to his tip. He’s so caught up in it that when you replace your hand with your mouth he lets out a moan. You make him bottom out inside your mouth and the noises coming from the man infront of you make you let out a moan yourself, the vibrations only bringing him further pleasure.

“Fuck princess that- ugh- feels sooo good” your tongue presses deeply into the vein all the way up to his tip, you make sure to give extra attention to the sensitive swollen head. Relaxing your throat, you take him all the way in, him pressing down your throat. But it was completely worth is for the look on his face. Eyebrows furrowed and his head thrown back in pure bliss. You move you head back up adding your hand in to meet his balls as you start massaging them. Katsuki is a moaning mess under your touch and wants nothing more than to run his hands through your hair and fuck into your mouth relentlessly. Watch as you start tearing up at the lack of air as he just gets off. But being completely under your control instead turned him on to no end. The added pleasure from your hand in combination with your mouth was sending him over board. He throws his head back as a deep groan leaves his lips along with several profanities as he shoots hot white ropes into your mouth, His orgasm taking over him with no warning. Surprised by his sudden release you swallow all of his seed, yet continue your movements. When he notice that you show no sign of stopping he lets out a whine at how sensitive he was. He tried moving away but your free hand grips his thigh, fingernails digging in as he hisses at the pain.

“Wha-what are you doing? I cant-” his voice uneasy from a mix of coming down from his high and the sensitivity he felt. You release his dick with a loud pop.

“You see I never said you could finish, but you decided to be a selfish little whore and finish anyways.” You stand up, releasing your grip from both his balls and thighs. You push his knees together and then move your hands to the clip of your bra and undo it, letting it drop to the ground. Your hands shoot to your breasts as you give them a rough squeeze, Katsuki drinking in the sight, whimpering as his sensitive cock twitches. His eyes glued to your hands as the travel down your body to the waistband of your matching underwear. Your fingers toying with the band, slightly dipping it and bringing it back up, loving how Bakugou reacted to your every move. His face flushed from the hormones rushing through his body, his dick painfully hard at the beautiful image infront of him. You pull the underwear down your thighs, strings of slick connect to the lacy clothing. Saying that everything that had been happening wasn’t turning you on severely would be dead wrong. Every moan that left his mouth sent a jolt straight to your core and you wanted, no needed, something, and you knew exactly what you were going to do.

You bring you legs on either side of one of his massive thigh and lower yourself onto him. His eyes widen as you grind yourself against him, throwing your head back as pleasure courses through you at the friction. His eyes shoot to where you were seated and watched as you shamelessly got yourself off on him. He watched as your juices drip down his leg, his cock twitches as he wanted nothing more than to be buried deep within your walls, slamming into you. He wines as you let out a loud moan, the friction feeling so good against your swollen clit.

“Please princess- fuck- let me make you feel go-” You stop his talking by shoving the lace into his mouth and grab his jaw roughly.

“All you deserve right now is to be my pretty little fuck toy okay. If you can behave then maybe ill let you fuck me.” You purr into his ear, your hot breath fanning across his neck as you move your hips grinding against him. You moan at the feeling, continuing to expertly move your hips back and forth. As you feel yourself getting close you reach your hand up to your nipples and starts tugging at them sending waves of pleasure into your core, giving you just the boost you needed. Your hand shoots to the back of Kastuki’s head tugging on his soft hair as you chaise your release. He watches your every move as you cum all over his thigh, his cock throbbing at the sight of your orgasm. Your eyes closed, eyebrows furrowed as you bit your lip, failing your attempt to hold back your moans. Once you come down from your high you move your legs so that you are no longer straddling his thigh, but now his waist, your soaking core pressed against his dick. A muffled moan attempts to leave his lips at the much needed pressure. Your hand goes to his mouth and you retrieve the now soaked pair of undies, a trail of saliva following. “Do you want to fuck me baby?”

“Yes, please Y/N. please let me fill you up.” he groans as you move your hips to grind against him.

“Do you think you deserve to touch me?” You ask the desperate man, a smile on your face at how eager he is.

“Fuck yes, let me make you feel so good” You lean down to wear his pants were grabbing the key, reaching behind him pushing the key into the cuff unlocking them. His hand immediately go to your body assaulting everything he could touch. Firmly grasping your breasts moving his hands across your body down to your hips as you lift yourself to allow him to slip into you. A moan escapes both of you as he bottoms out due to how slick you were. Your walls clench around him holding him like a vice. He trusts into you holding onto your hips and you place your hands onto each of his shoulders, letting you stabilize yourself as he rutts into you.

Each of his thrusts hit all of the right spots, rubbing against your walls deep inside of you. You’ve never felt this filled. You lean down and your lips meet with a fiery passion. Tongues fight for dominance as he speeds up his movements. You eventually win, not wanting him to forget his place. You break away from the kiss, a mix of both of you spit dripping from your mouth and you let it drip onto his glistening chest. You look down at his lustful face.

“You fill me up so good Bakugou, hitting every spot with your massive cock. Are you close baby?” Your hands making their way back to his hair, tugging at the blond locks as you feel the familiar feeling building in your core as he slams into your g-spot.

“uughh yes. I can feel how close you are, So fucking tight- god, fuck- let me cum with you princess.” His words enough to start the overwhelming feeling so you lean into his ear.

“Then cum with me baby” He sends a rough thrust into you and you come undone, a white flash taking over at the intensity of this second orgasm. You yank on the locks of hair in your fingers. Katsuki groans feeling you clench around him, trusting into you haphazardly as his own orgasm takes over, completely filling you with his hot cum.

He slows his movements, riding out both of your highs, until he comes to a stop still deep inside of you. You both stay there catching your breath as you rest you head on his shoulder trying to regain your senses. After a few moments you lift yourself off of him, immediately missing the fullness. You move off of his lap and allow him to stand up to grab his clothes. He bends over grabbing his pants and pulling them back on. While fumbling with the button he is suddenly interrupted by a hard hit to the head causing him to fall to the floor. You frown slightly at him as you place the chair back on the ground. You slip on your clothes and drag him to the cell wall and sit him against the bars. You clip the cuffs in place securing him to the bar as you back up slightly, pushing the fallen hair out of his face.

“Its nothing personal I promise” You stand up and walk away from the unconscious man toward to door, key in hand. You unlock the cell door and walk out, not before turning back to him one final time.

“Plus I don’t think this is the last time we will be meeting.”

A/N: AAAAAAAAA im sORRY. If you guys enjoy this one I can do a part two were the tables are turned??? because im a slut for dom! bakugou

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ellitx · 4 years ago

Note

Akdjfjeb Im really happy to hear you like my stuff but tbh im really scares ti start my own blog, because canon himmel is a minor and I wouldnt actually lewd him if we didn't have our scenario's set up here, like we know whats up here and its a safe space ;w; and plus i write these in secret on my phone and i die if anyone outside of tumblr or people from my art twitter were to catch me ;;

Anywho how about vamp butler Himmel feeding from his darlings thighs after helping her with her monthly~ (nsfw below i dunno how to cut stuff on mobile thru an ask)

He finally had you, laying sleeping softly in his servants quarters. Usually Venti gets to you first through mischievous ways, either by climbing through the window, or slipping into your bed before you woke the next morning

But today you had come to visit him on your own accord, saying that you wanted to make sure he was alright and to seek some of your own comforts through spending the late afternoon with him, saying it would ease some of the pain, until you slipped into a quiet nap with him. "Oh how I have been graced with you today my sweet song bird, and how I wish to alleviate your pain and replace it with extacy.." he thought, slowly intertwining his fingers with yours whilst placing a soft kiss on your fingers patiently waiting for you to awake.

Not much longer did you begin to stir, he flinches from your movement being as your bodies were glued together "Hmm.. where-- Himmel sir is that you..? Are we still in the servants quarters..?" You whisper and with your body shifting he sensed it, your crimson essence leaking from you, it took everything in him to not devour you right then and there. "Yes Mistress, Im sorry did I wake you mayhaps..?" He breathed into the crook of you neck.

"Mm.. no.. its the pain that woke me up Im sorry to have worried you sir.." you clung onto him a bit tighter seeking comfort in his warmth "Well, I do have a suggestion.. it might be a bit crude but it will benefit us both greatly.." He choked out embarrassed and with a racing heart he could smell you, he had your cycle down to the hour, he hadnt fed in weeks he was was almost about to combust

"And what would that be..?" You nervously question starting up at him. "Shhh my songbird let me show you" as he lowers himself down towards your core not even knowing your cycle had started, gently placing both of your legs over his shoulders "Himmel..!? Are you sure I- Mmm..!" He couldn't wait he needed this now pulling your delicate garements off of you his head already lapping at your core, drinking up all you had to offer

"Ahhh..! Sir.. I" turning your head to the side whilst covering your mouth to quiet your moans " Mm I needed this.. I needed you so bad.. Venti always hogging you to himself drives me mad.. My deepest apologies.. mm.. my sweet but I cant help myself" Darting his toungue inside your core to suck everything from your womb, your life essence pouring into him as he grips your thighs almost to roughly

"Mmnm..! Master.. Himme-..! Im so close... You treat me too well ahh..!! And that only invokes him further he wants you to release everything you have onto him, his life is to serve yours, ever loyal, and with that spring coming undone you come down onto him squeezing around his toungue "Yes..! You feed me such good nectar y/n" your legs are shaking as he rubs his hands on your thighs oh so sensually to try to sooth them, until another craving hits and glances up to you askingly

You nod knowing what he needs as you let his bear fangs to your sweet thighs, sucking and licking so gently "Nnnm..! Anything for you sir.."

(its getting long again gonna end it here -💚)

Ahh no pressure anon! I understand what you mean and tbh i actually have a secret blog of my own where i put all my self-indulgent dark contents and story ideas ( °◡° )

Im limiting my brainrotting here since some may find it uncomfortable, unless another anon has started the topic then i’ll let them indulge it a bit

ANYWAYS— thank you for this another himmel food ^q^ you’re doing god’s work and i love you <333 my inbox is always open if you want to share more of your ideas about him and his darling~

#anon ask #💚 anon #ellianswers #venti brainrot #submission #himmel #himmel x reader

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captainkirbypunch · 4 years ago

Text

My love has left tumblr once again.

As many of you may know, the account under the name MDZADR, has left tumblr. They felt unsafe in their fandom, and as such have deleted their tumblr and AO3 account due to the bad memories linked to them.

As a part of their departure, they have asked me to post something in their name, as follows.

If you want more details about how I came to this realization, continue to read. If not, here is your summary:

TL;DR: For the safety and health of this fandom, I wanted to spread the word that Mooping-10 is filled with people who absolutely cannot be trusted, creating a very hazardous environment for the zadr community, and MelodyoftheVoid is connected to all of those people, living a double life amongst those of us that don’t “ship zadr correctly.” She has plenty of friends her inner circle knows nothing about, and nobody on either side knows who she really is.

Full story below.

I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye. Nobody did anything to me today, but this just wasn’t worth it.

My AO3 and tumblr are both gone. I didn’t say goodbye because I didn’t want to look like an attention seeker.

Here’s the thing. I wasn’t going to name drop, but you guys need to know the truth. I’m instructing my boyfriend (hi y’all) to turn asks off for his own safety after this because this is going to be a nightmare, but... allow me to tell you the full story. I’ll try to break up the text so it’s less difficult to read, but this is important. I’m sorry to air discourse so publicly, but please... I need you to listen to me.

I’ll start from the beginning, without being vague anymore about who “she” is. I request that you please read the whole thing and not skip parts of it. The whole story matters.

I finally returned to the fandom about two months or so ago. As I’ve mentioned, I don’t do well in my thoughts while left alone too long, so I posted saying I would stop messaging people I knew because I didn’t want to bother them. There were only two people I was talking to at the time, but one of them is famous so I didn’t want to message her directly saying that. Doing so would have put her in a position of feeling obligated to say “you’re not bothering me” rather than just simply being able to sigh with relief from no longer being contacted.

But the first person to contact me was the famous person, and she asked if I was okay, and told me she liked talking to me.

God, I actually cried.

But, that’s just her. Melodyofthevoid is the type of person to talk to people in the fandom, totally unaware of her demigod status. She comments on stories, interacts on posts, messages first... a pillar of kindness, so it seemed.

But let the story continue.

Over time, we were talking more often.

Mostly sending memes (cause everyone I knew, myself included, aren’t exactly great at holding conversations. No shade. Memes are a love language). I was still in the hero worship stage of our relationship, so my view of her was that that was perfect.

Now, let me bridge a connection with a new story idea I got around December 28th or so, and my thinking she was perfect.

I had recently finished watching Madoka and questioned “If I had magical powers, what would they be?” It then turned into its own story idea, basing creators’ powers around the strengths and weaknesses in creations. I actually realized “oh fuck. My stuff is incoherent. My friends’ works aren’t too different...”

Thus spawned the name “Incoherent” for the project.

What does that have to do with this? Well, here’s the thing that really fucked everything up quickly.

This was not on purpose, because originally the project (which I had told nobody of yet at the time) was all about improving your works, making platonic friends, dressing our personas in cute outfits, and writing fun magic.

While listening to music and thinking of the story one day, my brain accidentally shipped my persona with hers, and I couldn’t unsee it. And I’m lousy at keeping my own secrets (other’s are different) so she found out on probably day one or two about my weird crush because of an ask meme of all things.

She didn’t try to put me off any, which was another problem for future things to come, and so I decided that since Incoherent was finally making me feel alive again and feeling the euphoric feelings of love wouldn’t hurt anything (I figured they’d mellow out on their own eventually because that’s how infatuation works) since they helped fuel my inspiration, and then we would just continue from friends to better friends one day and this part of our lives would be over.

Besides, the forbidden is attractive somehow, and makes stories more entertaining. She’s aro/ace, so I had no chance anyway. Someone safe to crush on, in her own way.

This isn’t a story of a love betrayal however. There was no such thing. But it’s important to the story because Incoherent is where my mistakes were made, and hers brought to light.

By this time, I had a handful of people I was talking to, and I created a discord server for the project. Only my boyfriend (hi!) and I were in it at the time. I was not-so-subtly asking my friends what they’d look like if they were a magical person, what their names would be... I thought I would have had to lure Melody in to make her want to join us, but I managed to get her in very easily. Everyone was happy and excited! It was a no obligation, no time limit thing for us to enjoy, a little sandbox to play around in.

Sure there were plans to make it bigger and I was working on art to the best of my ability, but it was gonna be a fun thing mostly. No pressure on anyone.

And how things started becoming a problem was that the rest of us posted publicly about the project and interacted with each other’s posts relating to the story, but she had started to interact publicly less and less with our things, and everyone noticed it.

It wasn’t because we were greedy and wanted the popular girl to reblog our things. It’s because we had a feeling she was ashamed of being seen publicly with us. The reason we were worried before then and started making that connection was because I mentioned I was going to ask another user if they were interested in joining Incoherent. Melody was the only one that seemed uncomfortable, and I messaged her asking about it. We agreed I wouldn’t invite that person but I knew things were off about it.

That person is like me. How long until Melody didn’t want to talk to me anymore? A few days ago, the other shoe finally dropped. A member of our little group and I were talking and (let’s call them Friend for simplicity. They asked to not be name dropped here) Friend was worried they had made Melody upset by tagging her in a meme picture they drew of her persona, and the two had agreed that Friend remove the tag. This spawned an anxiety-filled conversation where Friend and I expressed our concerns about Melody not interacting with the project, or us.

So since I wanted reassurance that that wasn’t the case, I messaged Melody with my concerns. I told her I had the feeling she was ashamed of being seen in public with us because of her friends, and she didn’t refute me. She simply told me to go get some rest. I messaged back with “I’m right.”

I deleted Discord off my phone for hours and nearly deleted my Tumblr, AO3, and the server after my boyfriend helped pass messages between us. Melody confessed that was the case because her friends expressed discomfort with my works, and she was playing both sides.

Her words, not mine.

Melody told me she would be withdrawing from the Incoherent project because it wasn’t fair to us if her heart wasn’t in it.

She didn’t stand up on my behalf when they said things about me. Her friends are the type who talk behind creators’ backs for shipping zadr “incorrectly.” Worse than antis because they actually participate in the “pro-shipping” side of the fandom. I broke that day and messaged her at 3 am.

We finally spoke at 3pm. We both missed each other. I tried to understand more. I wanted it to be more like a conversation rather than an interrogation. It was only one-sided however, and she never opened up further. And I made some mistakes and poor choices of words, and we ended up parting ways permanently right there.

I nearly deleted everything, but much like a coma patient attached to many machines on a hospital bed, my blog was kept alive a little longer by people sending kind words in droves. I was briefly fuelled by spite, wishing to watch the world burn by making everyone on the "correct" side of the fandom upset by posting the worst, most vile content this fandom has ever seen.

I was also welcomed with open arms by a very kind server with fellow degenerates, all of them screaming and crying and partying when they managed to get me in their server. It was so heartwarming...

But as I spoke to others about my situation, I realized something. A disturbing pattern.

People telling me horror stories about how Mooping-10 was cult-like. How the people running it were antis. I was even told once that they have a secondary server where they go to have their talks and do their work, likely the place where the real bashing is held.

The server itself has rules against such behavior, but I suppose it's different when they do it.

One person (and this is the most unnerving part for me, personally) told me Melody actually set off alarm bells in their head without having even done anything yet, and the most disturbing part of the story was that one of the moderators was afraid and upset because they got Covid, and received basically no moral support at all. Only getting told "spoiler that. Sorry you got Covid".

I was horrified. That server has 100 people in it. How many of them are the same? They act like popular kids in school who picked up an unpopular main character and then bash others, and the main character joined in because they don't want to be left behind by their new "friends".

To put it short, back to my point:

TL;DR: I simply only wanted to spread the word that: Mooping-10 is filled with people who absolutely cannot be trusted, creating a very hazardous environment for the zadr community, and Melodyofthevoid is connected to all of those people, living a double life amongst those of us that don't "ship zadr correctly". She has plenty of friends her inner circle knows nothing about, and nobody on either side knows who she really is.

#Invader Zim #zadr #tagr #rapr #zagr #mdzadr #MelodyoftheVoid

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artzychic27 · 4 years ago

Text

Pure Knight/Blood Knight

As he put his books in his locker, Nathaniel kept staring lovingly at the photo of Marc he kept inside. A few months after the Reverser incident, he and the writer started dating, and Nathaniel couldn’t be happier.

Marc was so sweet, cute, and just thinking about him always left Nathaniel a blushing mess. Especially when he saw that beautiful smile.

And hopefully, he’d be seeing that smile today. Nathaniel had been noticing something off about Marc- he’s more quiet than usual, he’s been wearing his hood over his head more often, and whenever Nathaniel asked if he wanted to hang out with his friends from class, Marc would either change the subject or say he had plans that day.

—

“Hey, Rainbow-“

He pauses when he sees his boyfriend, clearly upset. Marc was just lying on his bed, and looking up at the ceiling while listening to music on his headphones- Now Nathaniel was concerned. Marc would only do this whenever he was upset.

He walks over to Marc, pauses the music, and Marc turns his attention to him “Marc? Is something wrong?”

“... No, I just...” He sits up “... It’s just something that someone said.” Nathaniel sits down next to him and kisses him on the cheek.

“C’mon, tell me what happened.” He urges “I’m really worried about you.”

Marc smiled at his boyfriend’s concern, “Well, you know Lila?” Nathaniel frowns at the mention of the She-Demon’s name. She’s wronged the redhead too many times to count. Marc notices his expression “Nath?”

Snapped out of his thoughts, Nathaniel focuses back on Marc “Sorry. What about her?”

“I posted a story on Tumblr that I was proud of, but I guess Lila copied and pasted it on her Tumblr, then she told everyone she wrote it.” A few tears stream down his face “And they all believed her!”

“Oh, Rainbow.” Nathaniel cooed, then kissed him on his forehead “It’ll be okay.”

“No, it won’t. When I tried to tell everyone, they didn’t believe me, and Alya said I was jealous!” He wipes a few tears away. “Only Mari, Alix, Rose, and Juleka believe me.”

“And so do I.” He reminded, then wipes a tear off of Marc’s cheek using his thumb “It’ll get better, okay?”

Marc smiles “Okay.”

“Come on. Let’s work on the comic.”

After three hours of coming up with a storyline and character designs, Nathaniel went home, glad that his boyfriend is happy now. But he wasn’t. That lying fox had wronged him so many times, all because he doesn’t believe her damn lies!

“Accidentally” spilling drinks on his sketchbook, claiming to know a writer who could help improve the Ladybug comics, trying to frame him for stealing art she claimed was hers.

He could forget all of that, all of it, but making Marc cry was something he would not tolerate. He wanted Rossi to perish, not just her though, all of her followers. He just wanted them all to...

Nathaniel remembers he’s in Paris right now. A place where having negative emotions would turn you into a monster. So, he breathed in and out a few times and thought about positive things.

Being with Marc

People loving their comics

Mari having people on her side

Alix, Rose, and Juleka

...

From where he’s standing, Nathaniel glared at the sausage-haired girl sitting on the bench as she told more stories to her clueless followers flocking around her. He almost pitied them... Almost.

Alix sees what he’s looking at, and rolls her eyes “Just let it go, Nath. They’re all lost causes.”

“Yeah, I’ve done everything I could to help them, but they won’t listen.” Marinette says “If they wanna believe that I’m a jealous bully, let them. No more free clothes and food for them.” She folds her arms

He groans “Fine. But if she says one more thing about Marc again, I’m gonna-“ Rose interrupts him and asks “What’d she say about Marc?”

Answering her question, the Akuma class made comments such as:

“I still can’t believe he tried to steal my story!” The Italian whined

“He’s a fake!”

“He wishes he could write like you!”

“As if you could even call that writing!”

Marinette, Juleka, and Rose stared with their mouths hung open.

“Oh. My. Fucking- Ugh!” Alix exasperated “What the hell is wrong with them? That bitch doesn’t even write!”

Nathaniel continued to glare at the Italian, still trying to think about positive things so he won’t get Akumatized again

Being with Marc

People loving their comics

Mari having people on her side

Alix, Rose, and Juleka

“You should give that fake some lessons.”

... Lila getting what she deserves

“I bet that’s not even his work.”

Alya’s tabloid blog getting blacklisted

That lying bitch getting killed by an Akuma.

Those assholes falling off a big cliff!

His anger diminished when he saw Marc, halfway down the stairs. He was visibly crying, meaning he had heard everything they said. Nathaniel wanted to be angry right now, he did, but seeing Marc like that just made the redhead want to comfort him and tell him he loves him

His anger returned once again when Marc ran upstairs in tears.

It was probably enough to attract an Akuma, but he didn’t care. Those idiots deserved what was coming to them... But he didn’t want Marc to get akumatized...

Before Alix, Juleka, Rose, or Marinette could go over and tell them off, Nathaniel grabbed an apple out of Marinette’s lunch bag, silently thanked his parents for making him participate in two years of baseball, and chucked it at Lila while she wasn’t looking, hitting her right in her fat forehead, and ran out the courtyard while his classmates looked for the culprit.

—

Nathaniel could hear the wings flapping as he ran, and knew an Akuma was after him. The flapping got louder, and Nathaniel prepared to get akumatized once again, but the butterfly flew right past him... Marc!

He picked up more speed and ran right past the Akuma. After about a minute of running, Nathaniel found Marc crying in the art room and ran in to comfort him.

“Don’t cry, Marc, please don’t cry.” He whispers to Marc, hoping to calm him down before the Akuma would sense his negativity. “They’re wrong! You’re an amazing writer! I love you, Rainbow.”

The sound of the flapping of butterfly wings got closer. Nathaniel and Marc saw that the Akuma was in the room with them, and trying to pick which out of the two it would Akumatize. It was so hard for it to choose. Nathaniel’s anger and frustration were tempting, but it has originally been sent to go after Marc.

Being with Marc

People loving their comics

Mari having people on her side

Alix, Rose, and Juleka

“You should give that fake some lessons.”

“I know a way better writer.”

“As if you could even call that writing!”

Nathaniel pushed those thoughts in the back of his mind, got up, and stood between his boyfriend and the Akuma.

“Stay away from him!”

He couldn’t let Marc get akumatized again, he just couldn’t! He tried to keep his negative emotions down, but they were too strong. He kept thinking about his classmates. How they’ve hurt his friends, his boyfriend. How Lie-La made Marinette and Marc’s lives a living hell. The rage consumed him, that was enough for the Akuma to finally chose its target, and go in Nathaniel’s yin-yang necklace.

“Nath!” Marc cried as he saw Hawkmoth’s symbol appear on the face of his boyfriend. “Don’t listen to him, please!”

“What you did for the one you love was very noble of you. Almost like a Knight. I’m giving you the power to protect your love at all costs from those who dare try to hurt him.”

“Get out of my head!”

“You will go by two names. Blood Knight, a rage-filled seeker of vengeance. An unstoppable force to be reckoned with. The other, Pure Knight, protector of the innocent, and the defenseless.”

Nathaniel thought about Lila and Alya. Their smug faces whenever Marinette looked miserable, and the lies they spread about his friends. They would all pay...

“You yearn for justice, and to protect the one you love. In return for this power, you must give me Ladybug and Chat Noir’s miraculous’. Do we have a deal?”

“I will protect him with my life.” He swore as the black and purple mist bubbles up from his necklace and surrounded him. When it lifted, Nathaniel was replaced by an armored figure, about a foot taller than him. The armor he was wearing was pure white with blue highlights. The helmet’s visor has a blue butterfly-shaped mark, and the helmet’s comb is a light blue. In his hand is a golden shield with a red and white yin-yang symbol. And around his neck was a necklace with a light blue orb.

Pure Knight heard shuffling from behind him and turned to see Marc has backed himself into a corner. He walks over to the crying boy and kneels before him as if he were royalty.

“Nath?” Marc whispered in horror.

He shook his head “I am Pure Knight. Your protector. I vow to be your shield, and smite those who have wronged you.” He takes Marc’s hand in his armored one

“They all will pay for their transgressions. No one shall ever harm you again, my prince.”

—

Marinette, Rose, and Juleka were trying to hold Alix back from knocking some sense into their idiot classmates.

“Alix, you said it yourself! They’re lost causes!” Marinette said as she pulled Alix by her arms

“Fuck that! They can mess with us all they want, but when they talk trash about Marc, I get crazy!” She argued, still trying to pull her limbs free, but stumbled when the sound of something metallic rang through the air.

Everyone looked to the middle of the courtyard and saw a large broadsword drop down, the point embedding itself on the floor. Holding the sword was Blood Knight. Unlike Pure Knight, his armor was black with blood-red highlights. The orb on the necklace was black. The same yin-yang symbol that was on the shield is now in the middle of the cross-guard of the sword.

Everyone took a step back as Blood Knight pulled his sword out from the floor. He looked at the Akuma class before his eyes settled on Lila. Then, something overcame him, and he surged forwards, pushing away the others to grab Lila by the front of her shirt and hold her up

“Put me down” She wailed “I didn’t do anything!”

“LIES!” He yelled, “Every word you say is nothing but a lie!”

“Nath?” Alix asked as she slowly walked over to the red knight “O-okay. Look, just put Lila down-“

“I have no quarrels with you, Alix. And unless you wish to meet the business end of my sword, you will let me do what should have been done long ago.”

CLANG!

“OW!” Everyone turned their heads to see Kim, clutching his fist in pain, possibly caused by trying to punch the Akuma.

Blood Knight throws Lila to the floor, then faces Kim. The athlete tries to look intimidating, but fails due to the height difference “...You weak, disposable maggot.” He said as he pointed the broadsword to Kim’s neck “You claim to be a defender of the bullied, and yet you aid one.”

Kim frowned “Lila’s not a-!”

In a split second, Blood Knight’s broadsword cleaved right through Kim. Everyone watched in horror as Kim’s figure disappeared in a puff of red smoke. Many students fled the courtyard, not wanting to be next.

“One down...” He turns to the rest of the class, who are still in shock “So many more to go.” He points his sword to Lila, who’s being held protectively by Alya “You are a danger to my Prince!”

Lila once again brought out the crocodile tears “But he’s the one bullying me!” She added a lip quiver for effect “He steals my stories and claim they’re his!”

Blood Knight growled under his helmet “Speak the truth now, or I will show you no mercy!” He pulled Lila out of Alya’s hold

Bring her reign to an end!

“I’m not lying!” She insists

“... Fine.” Thinking she’s won, Lila sighs with relief “Then your dark soul shall perish!” He raises his sword, the metal gleams in the light. Lila pales, knowing she, for once, won’t be able to lie her way out of danger.

Students look away, not wanting to see this again.

A second before he could bring this lying fox to justice, he felt something wrap around his armored wrist. ‘Who dares to defend this lying witch?’, he thought

“Nath, please!”

Hearing the cry of his prince, he turns his head to see that he’s the one holding onto his wrist. He takes a look at Marc’s face and sees the look of distress.

Kill her. Do it now!

He’s upset. Protect Marc! Keep him safe!

Blood Knight’s armor fades from red to white, and a bright light consumes the sword. When it dims, the shield is in its place.

“I know you’re still in there, Nath. You’d never want to hurt anyone...”

“My prince... I... I...”

Marc smiles, believing he’s getting through to him.

“I should’ve known!” Lila wailed, “You got Nathaniel akumatized so he could hurt me!”

The Akuma class, sans Alix, Rose, and Juleka, start hurling insults at the boy.

Kill them! All of them!

They hurt the prince!

Do you want to protect the prince? Kill them!

Rage consumes Pure Knight, and he becomes Blood Knight once again. Instead of the liar and her posse, he turns to Alix, Juleka, and Rose. In a flash, the blade sliced through them. But instead of them disappearing into smoke, their clothing transformed into pure white and gold armor, and in their hands were gold shields with yin-yang symbols

“Shieldmaidens, dispose of this lying fox!” Blood Knight commanded

“Yes, Blood Knight.” Alix, Juleka, and Rose responded in emotionless voices, then turned to the Akuma class. Before they could strike, Ladybug’s yoyo wraps around Lila’s waist and pulls her towards the spotted and leather-clad heroes, who are at the top of the steps

“I didn’t need your help! I could’ve taken them on myself!” Lila complains

Instead of Ladybug rolling her eyes, she just says, “You know, maybe I’ll just let Blood Knight take care of you, make our jobs a whole lot easier.”

Chat Noir plays along “Yeah, you get akumatized a lot, so this would be a win.”

“Okay! Just get rid of them!”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Ladybug says as she retracts her yoyo. Then she and Chat jump down in front of Blood Knight. Ladybug addresses the rest of the students still in the courtyard “Everyone, get out of here!” The students either took cover in the classrooms or run out of the school.

Marc is about to run but he was suddenly pushed into Blood Knight’s chest, his arm around him in a protective hold

He sighs, “And here I was thinking you two defended the weak!” He turned to the shieldmaidens “Don’t let them leave!” He hoisted Marc in his arms and jumped to the roof of the school as the writer screamed for dear life.

“FOR THE PRINCE!” The three shieldmaidens let out battle cries and surged forward to duel Ladybug and Chat Noir.

One short battle later, and the shieldmaidens are trapped in the lockers with no way of getting out, thanks to Chat Noir put a broomstick through the handles.

They make their way outside where many students and teachers are gathered

“Is everyone alright?” They all nod and say that they’re okay.

Aurore walks up to the two heroes

“Two more students were turned into shieldmaidens, and kidnapped Alya and Lila!” She explained frantically

“This is their fault!” One male student yelled as he pointed to the Akuma class. “If it weren’t for that lying bitch and that damn tabloid writer, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

“She’s right.” A blonde girl agreed “I heard the shit you guys said about Marc, that’s why Nathaniel got akumatized! All because you believed some lying skeeze!”

“You’re all idiots!”

“Why don’t we just let Nath kill you right here, right now?!”

The students of the Akuma class who were on Lila’s side got into a verbal brawl with the other students over if Lila is a liar or not, and whose fault this was. As the commotion gets louder, a loud whistle sounds out. Everyone turns to see Chat Noir with his thumb and pointer finger in his mouth.

“You can all this discuss this later! Right now, does anyone have an idea where Nathaniel took Marc, Alya, and Lila?”

“Alya might be live-streaming for the Ladyblog.” A boy calls out “You can see where they’re going.”

“Of course! Someone bring up the Ladyblog!” Ladybug ordered

Aurore did so, and the live-stream was running, showing Alya in the clutches of one of the shieldmaidens jumping on the rooftops

“Hey, viewers! Once again, I’ve been kidnapped by a supervillain!” She said while blowing out some of her hair that was getting in her face “At least this one is less handsy!”

“She’s not the best journalist, but you gotta admire this girl’s commitment.” Chat Noir commented, to which Aurore rolled her eyes.

Alya then panned her phone around to show Marc, now in Pure Knight’s arms, looking terrified from being up so high and flinching every time Pure Knight landed on a roof.

“If this faker hadn’t stolen Lila’s story, we wouldn’t be in this mess!”

She phone pans to show Lila, also terrified as she’s hoisted over a shieldmaiden’s shoulder

“Lila, care to comment?”

“Ladybug and Chat Noir, get off your fat lazy butts and HELP ME, YOU IDIOTS!” Lila screamed in response

Alta pointed the camera back to her. Confusion is visible on her face. The superheroes scowled. That girl had some nerve. The Akuma class also looks confused. Wasn’t Lila supposed to be Ladybug’s best friend?

“It looks like he’s heading for the Tower. And before he left, I think I heard him say something about the perfect kingdom for his prince.” Aurore says

—

We’ll have our kingdom, my prince.

It will be perfect like you.

What about our revenge?!

Justice will be brought shortly.

Pure Knight turned his attention to Marc, still cradled in his arms with his eyes shut tight. Ever since he became Reverser and almost plummeted to his death, Marc had a terrible fear of heights. Pure Knight gently put Marc down, and when he opened his eyes, he found that they were at the top of the Eiffel Tower.

Noticing his uneasiness, Pure Knight pulls Marc closer to his chest “It will all be over soon, my prince.” He turns to the shield maidens and gives a small nod. At that, they drop Lila and Alya with an audible thunk

“You clumsy idiots!” Lila screeched

“I’ve had just about enough of you.” His armor becomes blood-red, and the broadsword returns, much to the two girls’ horror

“S-so, Blood Knight. Any reason you brought us to the Eiffel Tower?” Alya asked, pointing her phone to the Akuma

“So all of Paris can witness the downfall of this liar! She’s going to tell everyone who she really is!”

Alya was becoming frustrated “Lila is not a liar! Why does everyone-“

“SILENCE!” He is about to silence the reporter with his sword but froze when he felt Marc hold onto his arm. He looked into the boy’s pleading eyes and sighed in defeat, “You should be grateful my Prince is merciful, otherwise, I would not hesitate to slice both your necks open.”

The sword starts to glow a bright red

“It is time for you to tell the truth once and for all, Rossi!” He yelled

Lila was about to get up and run, but the two shieldmaidens held her by her wrists. Blood Knight approached her with his sword still aglow. He points the tip of it to her forehead, and Lila began to glow red.

The light dimmed, and the shieldmaidens released her. Lila fell to her knees, clutching her head in pain. Alya was about to help her, but she was met with the sharp tip of Blood Knight’s sword and went back to recording.

“Now tell all of Paris, Rossi. What have you lied about?”

“I... I... I HATE LADYBUG! I WANT HER DEAD! I CAN'T STAND HER!” Lila screamed against her will

Blood Knight nearly dropped his sword out of shock, clearly not expecting that.

“When Adrien’s friend got akumatized into Oni-Chan, I tricked Chat Noir into leaving Ladybug so she would face the Akuma alone. That sword should’ve killed her!” Lila snarled “And I’ve been working with Hawkmoth ever since so I could finally get rid of her!”

Alya and Marc’s jaws hung open. Seeing just how dangerous this girl really was, Blood Knight transformed into Pure Knight and held his shield in front of Marc

“Continue.” He ordered

“That bitch ruined my chance with Adrien! So what if I lied about being some stupid fox hero? She should’ve minded her own fucking business!”

Alya scowled and watched as the comments rolled in on the Ladyblog. A few were jabs at her, but almost all of them were aimed towards the Italian

“Then there’s Maribrat! She’s just as worse as Ladybug! I tried to get her expelled, but look how that turned out! God, I just want those two idiots dead!”

Alya shuddered at that statement. She was now starting to regret how she treated Marinette for so long.

“All she had to do was fall in line like the rest of that dumbasses! But she decided to start a war, same for that skater girl, the pink idiot, the freak, that loser artist, and that f*g!” She pointed to Marc, whose eyes widened in shock at what he had just been called

Pure Knight’s armor began to fade from white to red “What. Else?” He growled

“I’ve never been to Achu! Jagged Stone never wrote a song about me, Clara Nightingale didn’t steal my dance moves, I never saved Jagged Stone’s cat!” She yelled

Alya’s confusion and horror morphed into rage. If her grip around her phone got any tighter, the screen would probably crack.

Back at the school, everyone is watching the live stream on their phones. Every student gives the Akuma class smug looks while they just look away, embarrassed and ashamed for believing the Italian’s lies

“And Adrien’s dad hired me to spy on him in exchange for a modeling contract! He wanted me to keep Adrien away from bad influences, and I was trying to isolate him away from those losers so he’d only have me!”

Chat Noir, who was vaulting from rooftop to rooftop scowled as he heard the live-streams from people’s phones. He knew his father was an ass, but this was just sick.

“Then I stole that sissy’s story and claimed it was mine!” She glared at Marc, who was still in Pure Knight’s protective hold “He had the nerve to call me out when I said I wrote his dumb Ladybug fanfiction! If I could, I’d push him off the railing right now!”

MURDER HER!

Pure Knight let out a yell, and Blood Knight was back in his place, somehow appearing more menacing than before. He’d gotten what he wanted- For all of Paris to know the truth about this wretched girl. Now to do everyone a favor, and deliver a final blow, then his prince would be safe from her lies.

The sound of Ladybug’s yo-yo whizzing by is heard. Before Blood Knight could react, the end of the spotted hero’s weapon wrapped around his wrist, refraining him from using his sword. The heroes land between him and Marc. In Ladybug’s other hand is a tube of lipstick

“You dare to stand in the way of justice?!”

“Nathaniel, this isn’t justice! It’s revenge! Ladybug tried to reason, but to no avail

“Don’t call me that! I am Blood Knight! And as long as I’m here, no one will harm my prince ever again!”

Blood Knight pulls on his sword and flings Ladybug over the railing. She manages to hold on by one hand

“Shieldmaidens, advance!”

The two shieldmaidens surge towards Chat Noir who uses his staff like a sword against their shields. Alya rushes towards Ladybug, making sure to keep an eye on Lila in case she tries anything, and pulls her up

“Thanks, Alya.” Ladybug looks around for any way to use her Lucky Charm

Chat Noir Cataclysms the sword so Blood Knight will be forced to be defensive

Have Marc distract Pure Knight

Take the necklace while Pure Knight is distracted

“That’s it! Chat, cataclysm his sword!” She ordered

“On it, m’lady!” Chat nodded and called out “CATACLYSM!” He maneuvered past the shieldmaidens, knocking them down with his staff along the way, then ran over to Blood Knight and touched his sword just before he could swing it at the hero. The sword disappeared in his hands into black ash.

Ladybug looked over at Marc, yelled, “Heads up!” then threw her yoyo at him. Pure Knight rushed in front of him with his shield up and deflected the weapon. Repeatedly, Ladybug threw the yoyo at the shield, making Pure Knight keep it up.

While Ladybug does this, she tosses the lipstick over to Marc. He looks confused for a moment until Ladybug winks. He gets the message.

Protect him!

They won’t take him away!

“Pure Knight?”

Is the Prince okay?

Help him!

Pure Knight kept his shield steady as he turned his head towards his prince. Marc couldn’t see it, but he was blushing under that helmet. How could he not when his prince looked so... So innocent. He was clinging to his arm for safety, he had dough eyes, and... Were his lips always that shade of pink? He looked so beautiful...

Pure Knight felt the writer’s hand reach up to the visor of his helmet, and lift it to reveal his red face. Marc smiles, relieved to see Nathaniel under the cold armor. He tenderly strokes his cheek and stood on his toes so he could reach his lips.

Pure Knight’s grip on his shield loosened as he kissed the soft lips of his prince. The shield fell to the floor with a thunk as he wrapped his arms around his Prince’s waist, and lifted him to his face so Marc wouldn’t have to crane his neck up.

They were so oblivious to the world around them. They didn’t notice Alya was still live streaming, Chat Noir trying not to squeal, and Ladybug, sneaking up behind Pure Knight, grabbing the necklace, and throwing it to the floor.

The Akuma flew out, only to be caught by Ladybug’s yo-yo.

“No more evil-doing for you little Akuma. Time to de-evilize!”

The purified butterfly fluttered out of the yoyo

“Bye-bye, little butterfly.” Ladybug told it, then threw the lipstick into the air “MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!”

The thousands of ladybugs flew around the town, fixing any damage caused by the Akuma. Alix, Juleka, and Rose returned to normal and were standing outside with the other students. Kim was brought back. The other two shieldmaidens reverted back to their former selves. And the truth curse on Lila was lifted.

Black and purple mist engulfed Pure Knight, then lifted to reveal Nathaniel, his head resting on Marc’s shoulder. He looks around, confused

“Rainbow? Where am I?” He asked, but then noticed his yin-yang necklace on the floor, Ladybug and Chat Noir, and realized what happened “Oh my God.“ he looked to Marc, concerned “I didn’t hurt you, did-“ He didn’t finish as Marc hugged him tightly

“Don’t you ever do that again.” He whispered

“I... I didn’t want you to get akumatized again.” Nathaniel said as he ran his fingers through Marc’s hair “I love you, Rainbow.”

”I love you too, Nath.”

“You could’ve gotten here sooner, you know!” Lila screeched “I HATE YOU LADYBUG! HATE YOU!”

“WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU LITTLE FUCKING CUNT?!” Ladybug cursed, much to everyone’s shock “I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH YOU! I can live with you getting akumatized five dame times, hurting an innocent student, but I will not tolerate homophobia! Don’t think I didn’t hear what you said about Marc on the live-stream!”

Lila backed away, actually afraid, but bumped into Chat Noir who was snarling

“I should’ve cataclysmed you instead.”

Lila scoffed “Like you’d hurt me! Imagine everyone’s reactions when they see Ladybug and Chat Noir hurting an innocent civilian!”

“You’re just a little dumbass, aren’t you?” Ladybug asked coldly “Did you seriously forget that Alya has been live-streaming this whole time?” Lila paled as she saw the phone in Alya’s hands, and the news-choppers recording the scene “All of Paris heard every. Fucking. Thing.”

Chat Noir places a hand on her shoulder, and dug his claws in “And I’m sure the feds would love to hear how you’ve been working with a terrorist for the past three months.”

Lila tries to lie her way out of this once again “Th-they were all lies!” She claimed as she brought out the crocodile tears “The Akuma made me say them! He was just doing what Marc told him to because he’s jealous-“ She’s finally silence when a fist collided with her face. She falls to the floor with a thud.

Everyone looked at Alya, shocked.

“That’s for turning me against my best friend!” She yelled. No one noticed the touched look on Ladybug’s face

—

The police arrested Lila, and she was sent to life in prison for working with a terrorist, forging signatures, stealing money from students that were meant for charities, and many more. She went to a prison in Italy, because she was still kinda pissed about being exposed, and Hawkmoth could easily send an Akuma and allow her to break out.

Alya was the first to apologize to Marinette. The bluenette accepted her apology, but it would be a while before she could forgive Alya and the rest of her classmates. Adrien also apologized for giving her such stupid advice. It would also be a while before Marinette could forgive him.

Nevertheless, she still hung out with them, and their friendship slowly rekindled.

Marc and Nathaniel also received apologies, same for Alix, Rose, and Juleka for being treated as outcasts and badmouthed for months. Like Marinette, it would take time for them to forgive the Akuma class.

And Marc made Nathaniel swear to never be stupid and take an Akuma like that again. If the redhead weren’t so cute, Marc would gladly knock some sense into him.

#miraculous ladybug #miraculous #marc x nathaniel #Pure Knight & Blood Knight #lila rossi exposed #lila rossi bashing #alya salt #alya redemption #class salt #class redemption #lila salt #ml salt fanfic #alix sugar #marinette sugar #protective Nathaniel Kurtzberg #rose sugar #juleka sugar #nathaniel sugar #marc sugar

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wirewitchviolet · 4 years ago

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A Little Horrifying Primer on Transphobes

Some time ago, I put together a Little Fact Checking Primer on Trans People, as a basic resource for disabusing people of some of the many completely ridiculous yet absurdly widespread beliefs about trans people that simply have no basis whatsoever in reality. And wouldn’t you know it, every single lie exposed in that primer is not only still widely believed, but is presently being used as a basis to sign some absolutely horrific human rights abuses into law. So it’s high time I follow that up, in this case focused more on who keeps actively spreading these lies and why. I’m going to try and keep things as light as I can here, but we’re going to be looking at the most monstrous side of human nature, so apologies in advance if this is a dark read.

First, let me just note that there are two things I don’t plan to do in this piece. I’m not going to waste time debunking the arguments of the people I’m highlighting (much of this is already covered in my earlier primer, others have done the work in cases where I haven’t, and frankly these people’s claims should be self-evidently utter nonsense to begin with). I am also going to be very selective in what I link to, or even share related images of, as I would frankly not like to fill a post on a blog I generally try to keep safe for all audiences with media directly dealing with, for instance, child sexual assault, and much of the relevant information also involves stochastic terrorism against innocent people, and I would prefer not to throw more fuel onto such fires.

Transphobes lie constantly, about everything.

To some degree this is obvious. We’re talking about people who scaremonger about the possibilities of trans women dominating competitive sports and assaulting people in restrooms, despite the status quo already reflecting the conditions they insist would make these inevitibilities for decades and centuries respectively, and their grim visions never once having come to pass, and also constantly insisting that the woman in the photo below is actually a man, going further to say this is evident to anyone giving her the merest glance.

It goes beyond that though. There’s at least a little plausible deniablity in claims like this, or that “science is on their side” if they were simply uninformed about the world they live in, never actually looking into what laws exist, what science actually says, and never actually meeting a trans person or even seeing a picture of one of us. I’m talking really bold lies here. Like wholecloth fabricating a story that a convicted murder was trans, including anecdotes about wigs dresses and a planned name change, in a major newspaper. Or to cite an old favorite of mine, the time a pack of bigots walked up to a crowd of people peacefully picketing a transphobic legal proposal, started roughing them up and taking closeup photos of members of the crowd to stalk online when they got home, got sufficiently riled up for one to straight up assault an innocent person half her size, filmed the whole thing, uploaded it to youtube, and used stills of that assault as acomanying photos when they went home to write articles about the assailant being a “grandmother” attacked by rowdy trans women. And yes, they did monkey’s paw my wish to see that specific image on newspapers. Interesting side note, when it came to real public light that J.K. Rowling endorsed this sort of hatred, it was because she accidentally pasted some profanity laden rambling about how the imagined moral character of the other party in that incident, years after the fact, into a post praising a child’s fan art of her work.

To be a little less niche, transphobes can’t get enough of spreading the lie that the young fellow in this photo is a girl. Specifically a trans girl, providing proof that all their scaremongering about the dastardly threat of trans girls in competitive sports has finally come to pass.

To be fully clear, that’s a man (or a boy if you want to split hairs about him being 17 in that photo). Mack Beggs. A rather insidious choice for this sort of story, considering the actual context for that photo. See, Beggs attended high school in Texas, during a (still ongoing as I write this) period wherein that particular state had caved to this exact sort of propaganda, and in order to head off a wholly imagined wave of trans girls competing on girls’ sports teams, and enacted a law mandating that in all such competitions must compete under whatever gender is stated on their birth certificates. And as it happens, the first, and to my knowledge ONLY time this has come up was with Beggs here, who again, is a man, as no one with a grip on reality could argue against, has “female” on his birth certificate. Which is another way of saying he is a trans man. The guys in the same boat as trans women who we talk about a whole hell of a lot less because their existence is extremely inconvenient to the majority of transphobic propaganda. Case in point. And this is all information it is really impossible to come across if you’re coming across this photo in any sort of respectable source. Take this story, which is as unambiguous about this as you can get. And yet, in the very comments section of that story, there they are. Carrying on like this story about a trans guy, forced by a transphobic law to compete as a girl, which he absolutely did not want, and received horrific threats over, using phrases like “female to male” and bringing up that he was assigned female at birth and is on testosterone-based HRT, is about a trans woman cheating the system. Or to quote word for word, “Now also transgender female want to be male also compete in female sport. biological born“ That’s not “being confused,” that’s standing next to you in a white desert and complaining about being adrift in a black ocean, bald-faced, not even trying to be convincing just make a power play, lying through one’s teeth.

I could spend this whole article on just this point. Lying about who they are, various people’s falsified credentials, whole websites full of “anonymous parents of children who think they’re trans” turning out to be one single woman documenting the abuse of her very much trans son, or of course the people behind the whole “bathroom bill” panic candidly admitting it was all based on utter fiction. I do have other points to cover though.

Transphobes are firmly entrenched in the media.

It is extremely difficult to find oneself in a position of having to explain to people that a particular group of people is effectively in control of press outlets, as that is rather classically a claim conspiracy theorists absolutely love to toss around at various marginalized groups (including trans people hilariously enough, but of course the most common and lingering version of this is the antisemitic variant). I really can’t get around it here though. Specifically in the U.K., you honestly can say that transphobes control the media. I already touched on this with the assault case I mentioned above and the fabricated story about the murderer, but this is a pretty well-documented situation. I mean, even The Guardian calls out The Guardian on this, and that’s the outlet that gets the most attention because it’s the one with the most otherwise respected name, but every paper in the country has been running transphobic propaganda pieces on a weekly if not daily basis for years now, and while they do get reprimanded by watchdog groups and have mass walk-outs over the worst of it, it’s not like there’s some governing body with the authority to step in about it. Meanwhile the BBC is constantly inviting diehard zealots like Graham Linehan to news programs where he compares being trans to being a nazi, and hosting debates where someone just sits down and repeatedly chants the word “penis” at a trans woman.

Things are better in the rest of the world, but we still have right-wing creeps like Jesse Singal both writing horrific propaganda pieces (we’ll get back to that one) and blackballing trans writers out of covering trans issues ourselves (and personally stalking the hell out of those of us who try). We’ve got our Joe Rogans and Tucker Carlsons out there (no way in hell I’m linking videos here, have a real information link and a still).

The line between diehard transphobes and straight-up nazis basically does not exist.

What even is there to say here? You can easily poke around havens for nazi activity for yourself and compare the particular unique vocabulary used there to the primary bastion of anti-trans hate speech on the internet (the “feminism” section of what was originally a site for parenting tips before violent fascists took the forums over) or just peruse the follows of the thousands of people I’ve blocked on social media and see if you can sort out a clear division in the networks of channers with frog avatars and the accounts with names like GoodieXXrealwoman, or you can read up on Gab and Spinster, the two twitter alternatives that are just different portals to the same server, set up by the same guy. Maybe do some research into “the LGB Alliance,” or WoLF but any way you slice it the only real difference to be found is the general purpose nazis take a little time off now and then to watch borderline pedophilic anime and the really dedicated transphobes think to use language that sounds vaguely well-educated and left-leaning. I mean, this came from the “feminist” side of the fence:

And not to belabor the point here, but the ones claiming to be a bunch of “feminist mums” sure do let the mask slip any time they’re confronted with the fact that “women” includes black women, and oh just have a whole thread about all the weird conspiratory theories these people have about how trans people’s whole existence is some sort of Jewish plot for world domination. I swear a few months ago they were all passing around a story about some bank having an above average number of trans employees and they were all just “and we all know who controls the banks, right?” about it.

Transphobes endorse an awful lot of people who are openly pro-pedophila.

This is the part where I am really loath to link the many many specific examples I have on hand. Or to talk about this at all for reasons of good taste. Or, for that matter, to talk about this in a tumblr post when there’s an ongoing problem of people with backgrounds strongly tied to this site making baseless accusations of pedophilia against every queer person they can find, so let me be very clear just what I’m talking about while avoiding anything too graphic.

That’s James Cantor. Transphobes love him for being one of the closest things they have to a scientist on their side. And I am featuring him in a screenshot here showing that he is followed by current queen of the transphobes J.K. Rowling, while speaking to both another big name in transphobic circles, Debra Soh, and based on their names, what I’m guessing is at least one straight-up nazi. And in case you think “the P” he’s talking about adding to LGBT (or “GLBT” as weird anti-queer bigots who also have issues with women often write it) might stand for “poly” or “pan” he’s all too happy to clarify that.

This is the entire thrust of Cantor’s work and life. He is the world’s biggest pedophile rights advocate. He wants it declassified as a mental disorder, all stigma on it removed, and tirelessly pushes forward the idea that the majority of.. people who feel compelled to sexually assault children are good people who present no potential harm to anyone and should in fact be lauded.

I am not generally one to claim that someone with a PhD is spewing out questionable garbage with regard to their field, but the reason I am aware of Cantor at all is that other transphobes keep trying to hold up a particular post on his blog as "a study” (which it is not) that offers “proof” (in the form of a blurry jpeg of basically some random numbers) of some ridiculous quackery about how trans kids will “grow out of it” if exposed to conversion therapy (another way of saying torture), which Cantor himself seems to be pushing, so I am somewhat skeptical of his academic chops. And I am, of course, REALLY suspicious that all these other bigots gravitate to him purely because they’re that desperate to find anyone with a PhD in anything that backs them up against literally every scientist in a relative field, to the point that they merely forgive his particular advocacy they are plainly all aware of, particularly when such a common fig leaf used by transphobes is “keeping children safe from sexual deviants.”

And of course, Cantor is most often invoked when coming to the defense of Kenneth Zucker. This Kenneth Zucker.

Those are separate papers. Zucker isn’t controversial though for organizing panels to discuss how attractive people agree small children are (at least not exclusively). Mostly, he’s known for running a conversion therapy center which subjected gay and trans children to various sorts of torture in an effort to “fix” them, which at least for those trans "patients” I have spoken with involved a fair amount of having them strip completely naked and talking a lot about their genitals.

Zucker is something of a controversial figure with the transphobic scene, as they are extremely on board with his sexual torture of queer children, but he does actual work (for some value of the term) involving trans people and thus is not able to commit as fully as they would prefer to making life horrible for trans people, due to a professional obligation to acknowledge reality now and then. As an aside, the similarly positioned Ray Blanchard, while not to my knowledge particularly interested in the attractiveness of children, lives in a similar purgatory of trying to reconcile his career, bigotry, and sexual hangups, yielding compromises like this:

Of course, that’s just looking at the straws transphobes grasp at when looking for scientific credibility. Real leaders of the movement include Germaine Greer, author of The Beautiful Boy, which is about what you are afraid it might be, and features a very young child in a cover feature he did not consent to posing for. Or Julie Bindel, who among other things is rather infamous for writing whole articles on subjects like whether a teenage girl she came across maybe has a huge penis you can totally see if you really squint at her skirt. Again, I will not share a link to go along with that one.

Transphobes terrorize and attempt to defund charities and other unambiguously good organizations.

Graham Linehan, previously best known for cowriting some sitcoms and possibly spending a year angling to get into my pants so awkwardly I didn’t pick up on it is now best known for trying to pull the plug on a children’s charity, in a story that somehow also involves Donkey Kong. Well, and the interview about nazis. And possibly the other interview about “defending me from nazis” until it got into his head that I might not be as young and hot as he imagined. Rather not link to a far right extremist youtube channel though.

There’s also a current effort to replace Stonewall (an organization named after the location where a pair of trans women kicked off a riot which is generally agreed to be the start of the LGBT+ rights movement) as the UK’s primary LGBT+ rights organization with the “LGB Alliance.” The hate group mentioned above, with the skull face and the rifle. Closest I can find to an article on that effort on short notice that isn’t propaganda.

Transphobes paper areas in truly disgusting propaganda.

I don’t want to directly link to grown adults skulking around children’s playgrounds and bathrooms plastering surfaces with mass printed stickers of crudely drawn penises, but would encourage you to read this very long post, being sure to load all the images, to really understand how deeply strange this behavior gets.

Finally, I cannot stress this enough, this really extreme behavior I’m citing, and the specific people involved in the examples I’m giving, these aren’t random cranks on the fringe of things. The people going on televised panel discussions, writing up news stories, and testifying before lawmakers in efforts to pass horrifically discriminatory if not literally life-endangering laws (there is a major ongoing effort to legally end all medical care for trans people, and I don’t just mean care directly relating to being trans) are literally the same people involved in the sexualization of children, nazi collaborations, and roving gangs assaulting people in the street. At a bare minimum I urge people, when booking guests and handing out writing contracts, to do background checks and see if they’re platforming actual terrorists. If we could actually bring legal consequences to bear against the worst of this, that would be great too. As things stand though, the whole world is just consistently citing a bunch of racist, woman-hating, serial liars with no real credentials, and questionable attitudes towards the sexual abuse of children, as “trusted experts” and refusing to seat actual trans people or people who have legitimately committed lifetimes to academic and practical work with trans people any seats at the table.

#trans #transphobia #educational resources

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kanene-yaaay · 4 years ago

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Happy Birthday ~

Kanene’s note: DO YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IS TODAY? WEEEELLL, I sure hope so because I completely forgot ;-;. BUUUUUUT I REMEMBER VERY WELL THAT 4TH OF THIS SAME MONTH WAS @oliviaischillin1204 BIRTHDAY SOOOOO YAAAAAAY!!! Thank you so much for being such a lovely, wonderful, cool, amazing, sweet, crazy, fabulous person that I really look up to, Ollie! <33

Warnings, fun facts, random things and stuff:

* This characters don’t belongs to me! They all belong to Thomas Sanders and his series Sanders Sides!

* This is a SFW tickle fanfic, so, if you don’t appreciate this kind of content, please, look for another blog. There are a plenty of fabulous arts in this site!! ^w^)b

* This is Ler!Patton and Lee!Logan with Lee!Logan. Around 4.000 words.

* Sorry for any spelling, pontuation and grammar mistakes! Any and every advice is very very welcome! \(-w-)/

* Como é um presente, essa fanfic não será traduzida! Sleep a bit more today, drink water, give something nice to yourself and I hope you’re having a really nice day (Especially you, Olivia!!) <33

[~*~]

Logan opened his eyes, quickly turning off his alarm before it had the chance to wake Patton up. He held his breath as he turned to the other, observing his chest go up and down peacefully on his sleeping. The most serious one sighed in relief, feeling the butterflies flying in his tum- no, none of that silly nickname – stomach as he remembered which day was today.

Today was his birthday, an annual event which he usually wouldn’t give more attention to than to thank everyone’s well wishes, give himself a whole jar of crofter’s jam and take the day off from his non-essential tasks.

At least… things used to be like that before he met Patton.

A persistent wobbly smile found its way to his lips, thinking about the tradition the cat lover began after a few years of friendship.

He firmly shook his head out of the memories, putting his glasses on and looking at the clock to confirm his thoughts. Yes, it was six AM. Perfect. This year Logan decided he was going to be resilient and in any circumstance he would fall into Patton’s attics. It didn’t matter what it was. He was a serious, determined, smart and strong adult. He could endure some silly, untrue teases.

Logan sat on the mattress, careful to not bother his partner, firmly ignoring the buzzing feeling on his nerves taking over his entire body. He grabbed his phone and unlocked it, every and any distractions being very welcomed from the recordations beginning to swirl in his brain.

Then, in a flash, a shock hit him in the moment his eyes locked themselves in the picture being used as his new phone’s background. A picture that was not there the night before. A picture of him. Of his completely red face, his lips parted in a gigantic smile, eyes firmly closed, hair falling on his expression as his hands gripped there, doing their best to not stop the hand which wormed its way to his unbuttoned shirt.

Real Logan pressed his hand over his mouth, suppressing a surprised yelp that for very little didn’t echo on the room. Only then he noticed the bright notification on his screen.

The one wearing glasses needed a whole minute to tear his gaze apart from the background, feeling the butterflies to get more and more restless as he read the name of who sent him a message the day before, at exactly 11:56.

[Patt-on/Patt-off: Happy birthday, Lo-lo! Prepared for your b-day surprise?~ :3c]

Suddenly two arms involved his waist, leading him to jump and to the touch get a bit firmer, -yet so gentle, - pulling his back to rest on a warm chest, a head resting on his shoulder and tickly, whispered sentences being spoken absurdly next to his so ticklish ear.

“I gotcha. ~” A series of goosebumps ran across his spine and Logan attempted to squirm to his freedom from the nuzzling and muffled words seeming to buzz and spread in every inch of his neck, sensation being not even a bit helped by the quick pokes and pinches on his sides, “I gotcha, gotcha, gotcha ya, my tickly ticklish little squeaky toy!! Oh, no, what he is going to do? Hm? What is he going to do to escape from the Tickle Monster?”

“P-pa-Patton!” His hands flew to hold the wrists of the one called, who just rested his lips in the spot that connected his neck with his shoulders and chuckled before humming innocently. “Please, please! I ask for you to reconsider! We’re both intelligent, rational adults and I am sure that there is an answer which will satisfy both of us!” Small, fast raspberries were placed in that same spot and Logan, living up to his nickname, squeaked at each one, shrugging his neck. “N-no! No, no, no! Patton!! Don’t!!”

“Do you want me to reconsider?”

“Yes, yes!”

“You want me to reconsider giving you your so craved birthday little tickle, tickle tickles?”

“Falsehood!!! I do not- I can’t- I didn’t-” Logan sputtered, the blush on his cheeks gradually increasing. “I do not crave them!! Ti-tickles are silly and don’t like them!”

He sensed Patton’s smile more than he saw it. Instantly things felt like he didn’t make a so clever choice with his wording. “Oh, you don’t? ~”

Logan denied, the wobbly smile yet plastered on his face.

“Okie! I will not tickle you then, Logie Bear, okay?” The one wearing a star themed pajama yelped when the wrists on his hold twisted their way to gently intertwine their fingers, pulling their hands the way up to behind Patton’s neck, keeping them there until Logan locked his own fingers together. This left his torso, - owner of multiple of his ticklish spots, - open, a tingling already starting to wander across them. He wiggled. “Oh, no, no. Don’t worry, dear!” Patton combed his hair, leading the other to instantly melt into the touch. “We’re going to just talk. A chat between friends! No tickling!” He rested, then, his hands on the other’s ribs, his tune filled with joy.

“But the moment your hands go down you better be prepared because I’m going to tickle tickle tickle you silly-silly for hours and hours and hours until we’re both satisfied, okay my precious Squeaky Toy?!”

Logan’s smile only grew wider, for a second his hands trembled behind the other’s neck.

“Okay?” Patton questioned playfully, yet drops of seriousness painting his ask.

The one with blushing crawling down his neck bit lightly his lower lip, his mumble barely audible. “Light tickles during the talk?”

Patton felt his heart melt with all the cuteness, losing his façade as the tips of his fingers ran softly up and down Logan’s ribs, resulting in the aforementioned to let go of silent snorts and titters, which led the cat lover to squeal, hugging him. “Of course, precious Giggle Bug! You’re just so, so adorable and cute making such a sweet wish like this!”

“I despise you and your falsehoods. I am not cute.”

“Now, now, now, Logie bear! It’s very rude of you to try to lie for the Tickle Monster because he might will have to try to convince you to say the whoooole truth!” He sing-sang, wiggling his fingers teasingly in front of Logan. “A truth that maybe sounds like ‘I, the smart Logan Sanders, am an adorable, incredibly, horribly tickly ticklish Squeaky Toy and I just looove receiving tickle, tickle, tickles from the Tickle Monster!”

“FALSHEHOOD! I am no-nothing of this!”

“Okay!” Patton exclaimed happily, his index fingers traveling to scratch the skin behind his ears, circling and drawing shapes on the shell before slowly making his way to Logan’s red neck, quickly going back to the first spot when the other futilely attempted to protect his target.

“Soooo,” Patton made his voice the most low and possible tickly way, one more time, “are you telling me that you’re not cute? Not at all? That all that lovely blushy-blush spreading and running on your neck and these little ticklish- ops! I mean sensitive ears here are not even a bit cute?” The stars lover shook his head, attempting to hide his face on his elbow but giving up in the moment Patton took the opportunity to place a trail of butterfly kisses on his unprotected neck, receiving a squeal as prize.

“Aww, cutiepants, was that a squeal? So adorable!” Logan denied again, controlling his urge to low his arms when the other rested the tip of his nails on the spot inside his elbows, softly wriggling, teasing the nerves there. “But I do wonder why, I mean, we’re just having a good talk here, aren’t we?” He dragged his scribbles and traced down to his biceps, “just having some fun time with your cool friend Patton! No reason at all for you to be sweetly squealing or blushing or squirming like a wiggly wiggley worm! Unless…”

“This tickle tickle tickle your funny bone!” Patton gasped, delivering a poke right on the center of Logan’s armpits and making his arms to shot half of the way down before their owner could stop himself, giggling non stop. “Arms up, my helpless ticklish grumpy baby!! You’re already doing so well. I know you can endure it just a bit more!”

Logan scoffed, taking some giggly filled seconds of silence before re-adjusting his arms where they were. “Of course, I can. As I previously pointed, I am not such a childish thing as ti-ticklish.” Patton tried to stop himself from laughing, ending up snorting. “Stop laughing, you heathen. It’s the truth.” Logan gave a squeeze on the cat lover's stomach. A rare and small playful smile playing on his lips as the other yelped holding his hands away.

“Sure, sure.” Patton booped his nose before guiding his hands to the other’s armpit, waiting patiently for his friend to lock his fingers behind his neck again. An idea popped on his mind, resulting in his smile to get wider. “Hey, lo-lo! What if we sing a song?” He bounced as the other whined a protest, wiggling around.

“No, no, don’t worry! I am sure you already know the lyrics! Look, Wiggley Worm, I will start and then you follow me, okay?” Patton then positioned two fingers on the tickle spot, hearing Logan’s breath hitch as he began to circle his pits, the squirming increasing.

“Round and round the tickly pit

Goes the Logie Bear-”

“That is not how the nursery rhymes goes!”

“No? Oh, dang! I was almost certain that I was right! If only someone clever, cool and with an amazing voice who knew how to sing it correctly would help me…” Loud sigh, feigned sad head shake, “guess I will have to repeat it again and again and again and again until I recall the correct lyrics…”

The cat lover paused, for a piece of minute only hysteric titters and warm smiles filling the air.

“Round, round the helpless pit,

Goes the Blushy Bear-”

“No!” Logan yelped, slightly jumping in the same place as he felt the fingers walking, scratching their way to the center of the spot. “I can-” the rest of his words came muffled as he one more time attempted to hide his burning face on his shoulder. Guffaws escaping as Patton took, again, the opportunity to nuzzle and kiss his bare neck, “Wait, wait! I will sing.”

The attacker’s face brightened right away, stopping his tickling. “Are you serious?! Would you do that for your old Tickle Monster?”

“Y-ye-yes.” He cleaned his throat, uselessly trying to get rid of the chortles already accumulating on his chest, the figurative butterflies flying everywhere on his belly. “Yes, Ihihi can.”

“Okay, then! Whenever you’re ready!”

Logan tried to take a deep breath, however his concentration was immediately broken when the tingling sensation spread like lights across his torso. “Stohohop wiggling them! I cahahan’t sing whehen you doho that!”

“Okay, okay, blushy bear. Gotcha!”

He closed his eyes, taking another wobbly breath and failing spectacularly as the feeling of the fingers resting peacefully, so oblivious on his so exposed tickle spot felt almost unbearable. “No, nohoho! Stop!”

“Logie Bear,” Patton grinned bigger, sensing his heart to expand even further as the one with stars painted on his pajamas squealed on his hold, “This time I’m really doing nothing.” Logan growled, refusing to answer.

“Round, round the gard-EN,

Li-hihihike a teddy bear…”

Logan began to kick lightly, his sentence being more and more subdued by the high pitched laughter with drops of snorts.

“One step,” One squeak.

“Two steps,” Two squeaks.

“Aaaaand?” The attacker asked, his fingers hovering, barely grazing the skin.

“Ahahahand,” the laugh cut his phrase, his kicking increasing its speed, “ahahahand,” Logan shook his head, his arms about to give up and clue on his sides. Face burning, squirming becoming more frequent.

“Tickleoverhere!!”

Patton attacked. His arms went immediately down, his head hitting Patton’s shoulder with the force of his full laughter.

“Yes, yes! There is! There is that beautiful, wonderful, amazing laughter of yours! And and and these little snorts!!” His caring, evil friend beamed, his voice full of excitement. “It’s just the adorablest and cutest and lovely-est thing!!”

“NAHAHAHAHAHA!”

A few minutes full of scribbling, poking and scratching passed before the cat lover ceased the tickling, giving him a break effectively used to take sips of oxygen. Logan’s muscles relaxing as Patton again combed calmly his hair strands, snuggling him close.

“You’re okay?”

“Yes,” a breathless giggled response, but a response nevertheless. He suspended his arms again. “Yes, I am.”

“You’re so cute, Giggle Bug! Now, now,” Patton hugged Logan, his arms crossed on the other’s chest, leaving almost no room for squirming while his hands tapped his fingers on the soft skin of his pudgy sides, “I heard someone here has very, veeery ticklish sides that the Tickle Monster would just love to tickle, tickle, tickle! But, I don’t see to find where that ticklish baby is…” He began to dig on the spot, properly ignoring the loud snort and frantic wiggling from the star lover.

“I mean, it can’t be you, right, Logie Bear? Because you” Patton made sure to focus his tweaking on a rather… susceptible tendon which connected his sides with his back, holding his smile as the crackles exploded from the one attacked, who immediately started bouncing in the same place, “just told me you aren’t sensitive! Not even an itsy bitsy wiggly wiggley cutesy ticklish at all, right?”

“P-pahahha-PAHAHATTON!”

“What is it, baby Squeaky Toy?”

“Ple-please!!”

“Please what? I don’t think I understand what you mean, Lo-lo. There is a crazy, cutie patootie being tickled somewhere near and it’s hard to hear you with all that beautiful laughter!”

“It TICKLES!! IT TIHIHIHICKLES!”

Gasp. “It does??” But that statement only served for the other to knead further on his sides, skillfully squeezing and digging on every weak spot on it. In an explosion of energy Logan broke free from the grip, losing his balance and half falling from the bed, his hands instinctively stopping himself before he could hit the floor while his legs and waist continued laid on the mattress.

“Oh, my gosh! Logan, are you okay??” His only answer was the reminiscent laughter growing in breathless giggles. “Logan?”

When the other nodded Patton finally let his façade crumble and drop, wheezing laughter taking over his senses as his mind replayed the fall, “Oh my God! Your face, Lo! Your face was just-” and his next sentences came out silenced when he pressed his face on Logan’s arched back, snickering.

On Logan’s lower back.

The one who had just stopped his giggles did his best to hide a squeak. The sensation of Patton laughing directly on his skin together with his hitching warm breath sending electric, tickly goose bumps through all his torso. The urge to squirm and escape growing louder as his friend didn’t stayed still, lifting his head from there only to stare Logan again and immediately fall in another wave of laughter, once more shoving his face on that spot next to his side or on his spine or way too much close of his hip. The idea that this time Patton wasn’t even really trying to tickle him making the heat on his face and the urge to laugh somewhat worse.

“Ah!! Patton, stop!”

“Sorry, sorry!! I can’t, I can’t! You just screamed and fell and I-” Patton snorted and the poor ticklish Squeaky Toy tried to move his arms in an angle where he would be able to push his friend’s face away, only to realize he couldn’t do much more than mindlessly swing his upper limbs. Fuck.

It took about two long, slow minutes of quiet huffing before for the one wearing cat onesie to calm himself, wiping tears from the corner of his eyes and bringing his focus to his friend, looking at least a bit apologetically, even if the other wasn’t able to properly see it due his position.

“Sorrey, bear. I forgot how ticklish you are on your sides.” His eyes then noticed Logan’s face, furrowing his brow, “are sure you’re okay? Your face is a bit red there, kiddo.”

“Ihi assure yohou I aham. Please help mehe to get up.” Patton quickly nodded, an adoring gaze sprouting on his expression as he heard the other’s giggles, but decided to not point out, instead choosing to pat his back lightly in a reassuring touch and immediately pulling his hand when Logan jumped at his touch.

“Get away from my back!” The moment his words escaped in an impulsive act, Logan instantly clapped his hand over his mouth, trying to think in a way out of what he just brought to himself. A part of him – very small, pretty much overdued by the excited energy building again on his body, - wishing Patton didn’t get the meaning behind that phrase.

“Your back?” His tune sounded much like what Roman likes to call ‘Lost puppy’ and Logan signed in a mix of relief and disappointment.

Then Patton gasped, suddenly full of joy. “Oooooh!!! Your!!! Back!!”

“Nonono, no, no! Patton, be reasonAAH!” A shriek cut all his protests and rational thoughts when Patton lowered his head and gave a soundly, big raspberry right on the right side of his lower back, making all his way to the other side with more careful, well placed raspberries. “I can’t, I can’t! Plea-ase!”

“I’m not listening a ‘stop’!~” He rested a kiss on his spine. “And, awww, kiddo! Why did you never tell me you had such a tasty back before?” The cat lover ran his index finger on his spine, leading electric shivers to shoot all across his nerves. “Now you made the Tickle Monster really, reeeally hungry! Good thing that now he has a very yummy yummy snack-y back-y right here!!”

Logan tried, - believe me, - he really, really tried to form some sort of coherent sentence, however, the moment Patton’s lips collided with the back of his ribs, softly nibbling and making ‘oh nom nom’ noises as his free hands occupied themselves at unmercifully squeezing his hips, his thumbs clued on the little divot localized there, Logan’s belly laughter ran freely. It swirling around them both, the melody mixed with the sound of his hands bagging on the floor, legs kicking in a fruitless struggle.

Patton gave the other side the same treatment (‘They deserve that attention too, Lo-lo! The Tickle Monster needs to be fair and good so Giggles bugs like you will be all happy and cute and giggly forever and ever!’) before giving the astronomy lover a break, finally helping him back (ha-) to lay on the bed, on his stomach.

Logan closed his eyes, a smile resting on his expression as his snorts and chortles started to become more sporadic, the tingling still running on his tickle spot. His eyelashes opened only to find Patton’s face adorned with a smirk.

“Hello-lo-lo, my precious, adorable, sweetest Squeaky Toy! Enjoying your birthday tickles?”

“I hate you.”

��Boop!”

Logan whined, the tip of his ears blushing as he hid his face on his mattress. “You’re insufferable.”

“Nope, silly, I’m the Tickle Monster!” Patton snickered, ignoring Logan’s grumpy growl. “And I was thinking, what about if we played a game, Blushy bear?”

…

Silence.

...

“What game?”

“Weeeell…” Patton’s face disappeared not taking long for Logan to feel the part next to his side sink as his attacker adjusted himself there. A cold breeze touched his back as the hem of his shirt was pushed up until it touched his neck, Patton’s fingers quickly sliding and lightly scribbling the length of his back, leading him to squirm occasionally. “I was thinking about that very tiiiicklish tickle spot of yours and I realized… Do you know how much vertebras a human has, Lo-lo?”

“Yes, of course. Counting with the sacral and the coccyx we have about thirty-four vertebras, although, since they’re fused on the coccyx it can variate and result as thirty-three as well.”

“Ohhh,” Patton’s tune was solemn and, if it wasn’t for the feeling of his fingers still drumming on his skin, Logan could almost forget the imminent danger that question represented, “well, I have no idea of how much there are!”

“But I just told you-”

“So I think you will have to help me to discover it and lay veryyyy still so I can count them! You’re such a strong, lovely squeaky toy and I’m sure you can do this!” He placed an only one finger on the base of his waist, teasing the spot before going full on scratching, being so careful and, oh, so mindful to circle every single vertebra, prodding and poking each inch of sensitive skin there. His torso arched for a piece of time before hitting the mattress with force. “Oneeee, twoooo, threeeee…”

A jolt bolted from the spot and spread across his senses, resulting in Logan beginning to sputter halfhearted protests, his words interleaving with high pitched wheezy giggles, growing more and more louder as his friend got dangerously close to his shoulder blades. He squirmed and struggled and wiggled, hands firmly gripping the fabric under his fingers, his mind losing the count as Patton decided to re-start it over and over and over again, since-

“Now, now, Logie Bear. I know you just love to be such a lovely, absurdly ticklish squirmy little bear, but The Tickle Monster reaaaally needs you to stay still so I can tickle, ops! I mean, count all those tickly spots, oooops, I mean, vertebras of yours!”

Logan lost the track of time by the moment Patton ceased the attack, carefully massaging his shoulders to help him to relax and stop his giggles.

“Logan…” he asked when noticed that the other calmed himself, the blush getting weaker on his cheeks.

“Yes, Tickle Monster?”

Logan had to wait more three minutes so Patton would stop squealing, absolutely overwhelmed with joy.

“When I say you’re the most precious Squeaky Toy and that I could just hold you and softly graze my fingertips on your sides as I place raspberries and nuzzles and whispered teases about how much absolutely CUTE and ADORABLE you and you amazing laughter are and just hold your hands up so you can’t stop me when I tickly tickle your ticklish thighs but my grip will be loose enough so if you really want you could pry away but you won’t because you just love so much being tickle tickled silly and-”

“Patton! The question.”

“Oh, right! Er… uhh… How many vertebras there are…?”

“About thirty four or thirty three.”

There was a piece of silence before the words exploded in frantic sentences from his friend’s mouth.

“Oh my gosh, Logan! Logan, I just managed to count twenty! Logan, oh my gosh, where are your other ones? Are you in pain? We need to go to the hospital! I can’t believe you never told me you don’t have all of them kiddo! I’m going to-” The rest of his panic was muffled by Logan’s wheezing, uncontrollable laughter, which was doubled when the most professional one turned slightly around only to find Patton giving him that confused frown.

“Y-you,” he fought to take a breath, failing “You can’t actively count them just by touching-” and Logan didn’t know if it was the occasion, or the silliness engulfing them or even the so pure and clear confusion on the other’s tune, but he found it difficult to stop his laughing.

…

“So, your spine is okay?”

“Yehehes!”

“Oh, that is good, kiddo! Because now I’m going to give you something to laugh about, mister!!”

Then Patton bounced, attacking that horrible, forbidden spot between his shoulder blades, leading a loud shriek and even more wild laughter to escape from him due the new maddening – awesome, - sensation.

“Coothie coothie coo, Blushy bear!!”

“Listen to all that wonderful laughter! That's such a big, sweet smile!! Those cute little yelps, squeaks, and ah! Was that a snort?”

“Awwww, someone here is a tickly ticklish baby? Huh? Yes, you are! Yes, you are, my incredible adorable Squeaky Toy! Coothie coothie coo, bear!”

“You're so precious and so amazingly smart, wonderful, strong, cool and sweet! You deserve all the tickles tickles tickles from the Tickle Monster!!”

Tears of mirth began to accumulate on the corner of his eyes, and that was the cue for the other to begin to lessen the tickles, resuming his attack to sporadic butterfly kisses on Logan’s back.

“Stohohohop! I wihihill tell!”

“Aww, will you?”

“Yehehes, I will! Juhuhust cease!”

“Okay!” Patton gave a last nuzzle on his bare neck before his hand came down to comb his hair, giggling at Logan’s state. “Remember, it’s: ‘I, the smart Logan Sanders, am an adorable, incredibly, horribly tickly ticklish Squeaky Toy and I just looove receiving tickle, tickle, tickles from the Tickle Monster!’. Don’t forget to say every single word, Giggly Bear, or we will have to start it all over again!”

Logan whined, turning around so he wouldn’t be able to visualize Patton’s bright smirk. “Shuhuhut up. Urg. Ihihi- I, the incredible and smart Logan Sanders, am an a-ahahadorable, incredibly, horribly ti-ti-tichihihckly, ticklihihish S-squeaky… Toy… and…”

“Aaaand?”

“Dehehear Newton I despise your existence on this planet- and I just… loOove receiving tickletickleticklesfromtheTickleMonster. Thehehere! It’s said, leave mehehe alone!”

“It is, indeed!” Patton beamed, lowering himself to plant a soft kiss on the birthday boy’s temple, “Thank you for being such an adorable and great lee, Lo. Do you want some cool water? A snack? I can make it while you rest a little, okay? We could marathon Doctor Who again!”

“Yes. I think that would… suffice.” Logan smiled. A small, warm smile that made Patton feel like he could just melt for knowing it was being directed to him. “And… I also express my gratitude for your… birthday tickles, as you call it. It was quite…” he frowned, as if he was trying to recall something, “a-okay, I believe.”

“Aww! Thank you, kiddo!” And, if Patton lightly blushed with the compliment and both cuddled during the whole marathon, sometimes whispering soft, gentle compliments to each other? Well, shhhh, that is their secret to share, okay?

83 notes · View notes

shinjukuspiritcommittee · 4 years ago

Text

Top 20 2021

My Favorites (updated)

Hello my readers, it’s been a while since I just posted something not related to a headcanon and I am doing one right now. I just wanted to take a bit of a break to just get SOMETHING on here on my days off work. Plus I’m just trying to find my groove when it comes to writing again so hopefully this helps me just get back into the mood of making a post more often lol. I wanted to revisit this topic for a while just because we’ve had a lot more events and a lot more alts in the game were added. And I know for a fact LifeWonders reads these posts in some capacity because I have meme’d an AR into the game with my top picks from the last list I did for Christmas 2019. No I didn’t. I’m just joking around and I know LifeWonders doesn’t read this.

Anyways rather than just make up a list on the spot like last year I decided to use the Housamo Sortmaker (Link: https://club.housamo.xyz/sortmaker/ ) to try and make a list that’s more revealing to what I was thinking at the time. Since I talked about 20 characters ish last time I’m just gonna read from my 20th place to my 1st place spots and try to justify whatever I was thinking at the time. Anyways-

20: Marchosias and Susan: This one was a surprise for me if I’m being honest but I’m just gonna blame the fact on Shukou’s recent involvement with LifeWonders in the form of Live A Hero and how Ryekie and Mokdai live in my headspace rent free whenever I think about the characters in that game. Maybe we can see about getting some LAH headcanons since that’s a LifeWonders property too). So out of all the characters Shukou drew for Housamo why did I pick Marchosias? Easy, it’s been 4 years and this poor man has yet to receive a proper alt or any kind of skin for that matter and I think that it’s a crime. Sure he’s not my favorite but he’s definitely grown on me because he’s just a gentle dad kind of character and his design has grown on me over the years. I just hope he doesn’t get left behind since he has a lot of really interesting and potential things to look forward to in the future given how the main story has unfolded.

19: Shiva/Algernon: The helmet heads are together because DAI XT quickly became my favorite artist for Fire Emblem Heroes and I really just like their designs. DAI XT just knows how to draw robots, armor and muscles well. Also Chapter 11 with Shiva you can read into some interesting perspectives. I don’t want to spoil any of the untranslated content for anyone who’s waiting for the official english translation. But if you are curious Roureem has a blogspot where he posts summaries of the newly released events.

Link: https://housamosummaries.blogspot.com/

18: Cthugha: I love this goober so much. He’d constantly try to act super sentai just trying say good morning everyday. He may not be very bright but that just adds to his charm and honestly I enjoy how he always tries to play the hero in a lot of scenarios because it’s refreshing when they implement him after a bunch of heavy hitting story stuff. I’m not gonna spoil too much about it but I will say he’s more than welcome after everything Chapter 10 and 11 put the reader through.

17: Mineaki: I’ve made a post about him being one of my least favorites way back when I first started this blog and let me just say how times have changed and I’ve learned the value of not judging a book by it’s cover. I still think there’s something a bit off about Kowmei’s style for his characters, but Mineaki has definitely grown on me. He’s a caring instructor who does watch out for his students even if it’s not always in the most direct way possible. Not to get into too many spoilers he’s got a lot of intrigue around him as well and I am curious to see his role get expanded down the line.

16: Ded: Housamo is the reason I really like christmas. The Christmas stories despite following a similar structure to each other do tend to be my favorite stories. Ded himself is also just another good dad character. He’s also two guys for the price of one, so I mean… you know… you’ve got the forever ask your other dad situation. There wasn’t much thought put into this choice I just like santa as a concept because I think the outfits are cute, it’s always nice to get something for people you care about on Christmas and Ded is the perfect embodiment of both sides to Christmas.

15: Shinya: Everyone we need to manifest buff Shinya for 2021, this is not a drill. This is legitimate. We must make Taromati’s and my wish come true. To be more serious again he’s just a sweet and gentle character. He’s also drawn by my favorite Housamo artist. Their characters always just look so naturally good. I’m just surprised he hasn’t gotten much of an alt given he’s perfect material for Valentine’s day. He’s just a soft boy and I would love for him to be in more things because I just enjoy seeing him.

14: Jacob: I have to be honest Jacob is on here because every time I look at him he just gets more handsome to me. I wasn’t all that impressed with his introduction and we don’t know much about his background but I’ve just been drawn to him more and more. Maybe it’s just because he’s drawn by GomTang? I just like looking at him and I can’t help it. To speak a bit less crass he’s another gentleman kind of guy and those are always nice.

13: Shennong: Yeah I like the doc a lot. Firstly, I’m a huge sucker for big bulls and Shennong fits the bill. The white fur really adds to his appeal visually and the purple horns give off a bit of an unnatural appearance. Shen feels like someone who’s been touch starved and alone for a long time given how he acts as a character and when we actually hug him I just lost it. He always has others well being on his mind so he’s not afraid to jump in and help, or give a much needed lecture about when you need to take better care of yourself. He just comes across as very well balanced overall.

12: Heracles: I won’t lie- at first he didn’t interest me much. He looked incredibly plain when among the rest of the cast and he seemed like the typical “bait” character since the banner had Echo, Barguest, Gyumao and Snow. But after reading the translation for Valentine Time Slip I was taken aback at how much of a gentle giant he turned out to be and I just really liked his interactions with the others in that event. And honestly his special quest from that year was one of the more unique ones given the slower pace and more romantic vibe it had. After the event warmed my heart I did a complete 180 and I just knew I really liked him.

11. Yasuyori: Before I start praising him I feel I have to justify why he didn’t quite make top 10 and it will have some mild Chapter 10 spoilers. To be as vague as possible his resolution just didn’t vibe with me at the end of Chapter 10. Like it wasn’t a bad resolution and it was the right choice to make but in my opinion there really wasn’t a moment I felt was clear where he made a choice for himself. Everything just sort of happened around him and it felt like he didn’t really do much to improve his situation. To an extent I kind of see that being the idea given his origins and the story he’s based on and there is some semblance of him coming to terms with himself alongside his isolation being portrayed pretty well, but I just wasn’t satisfied with it as much as I would like to be. With that out of the way, oh my god I just want this boy to never stop smiling and I just want to give him hugs constantly please he just deserves to be happy!!! Yasuyori is a character who’s got a lot of baggage and he’s just trying to find ways to properly cope with his trauma and not repeat past mistakes and I just really like that idea. His role in Xmas 2020 (sorry I just forgot the name of that event, but its when he gets his alt) was a much better representation for his character in my eyes. I’m not gonna spoil anything like I keep saying but he isn’t one to disappoint in future appearances and I just hope this lovable lug keeps getting the support he deserves.

10: Hephaestus: A spicy way to start the latter half of the list. I just want to give this lad a hug and tell him he is worthy of love. But at the same time he is a little shit… and I love that. I can’t fully explain why I grow a paternal instinct in me seeing this grown man sob about his mother but I just do. I want to keep him safe and give him all the affection he wants. Though I am aware a lot of Hephaestus’s interest in his parental figure is… questionable. I am just gonna say I would accept his love for what it is and he just wants approval.

9. Shuten: I’ll be honest I have no proper reason for why I like Shuten so much. He’s just a cool and reliable guy. He just seems like a go with the flow kind of person most of the time and he’s a bit more direct than most of the characters which I always appreciate. Plus I have an unspoken bias for naop guys in Housamo.

8. Durga: While not number 1 on this list, I still really like Durga. She’s quirky but not to an annoying degree, she’s determined and definitely very confident in her own abilities. Her growing to be more sociable throughout her events is something I enjoy seeing because it really creates this sense of growth.

7. Kyuma: I get a lot of people don’t like Kowmei’s art but I really think we should look past it because Kyuma is one of the sweeter picks. He’s someone who just wants to prove himself for his own worth and not what David can provide, but David is part of him and it just creates the potential for a good arc. Plus this boy is unintentionally smooth and will just take your heart when possible. I honestly want to see Kyuma more in events because he’s honestly the jock that carries 3 of the 4 brain cells. He’s also the last one without an alt so I’m just hoping he gets one in 2021 because he really deserves one in my opinion. (Also fan art makes him really cute).

6. Tomte: Tomte is relatively new but honestly his event in 2019 really endeared me to him. I’m trying to be spoiler free because the best way to enjoy these stories is for yourselves but let me just say his arc in the event was really endearing to me and much more than I was expecting. His fan service is also incredibly hammy and I love it. Visually Tomte is one of my favorites, I love his multi colored hair and starlit pupils cuz it makes his otherwise more generic look have some flare. I knew I liked him out the box and when I read about him in the summaries and can’t wait to read the official translation for him. I was just very endeared.

5. Tetsuya: Tetsuya fucks. Moving on…

Jokes aside this one’s a bit simple. I have no shame in admitting I think he’s attractive and his whole resistance towards wanting a relationship is cute in a weird roundabout way. When he says no I just want it MORE. I just really like duo haired tsunderes.

4. Kengo: Kengo 3rd alt 2021. Please LifeWonders I need my favorite Summoner. He’s a bro and that’s what counts. Kengo has got your back, not afraid to rely on you, a very fun and dynamic guy. Sure he’s not that bright when it comes to making plans or any book smart, but there are times where he’s the best at being able to read the room or just understand what someone needs to hear even if it isn’t always what someone wants to hear. His bullheaded nature is actually one of his redeeming qualities because it’s nice to just not overcomplicate things and just understand what’s actually going on. Yes the early story didn’t do many favors for him but to me the events, especially the later ones, do much more work for his character. To me, at least.

3. Ashigara: Ashigara is best bear, and I will defend that stance in 2021. The main thing that draws me to Ashigara is that I can see a bit of myself in him. He gets very emotional when he gets left alone, he’s very loud when with his friends, has a tendency of speaking his mind- just someone who wears his heart on his sleeve. I also appreciate that in spite of the negative he isn’t someone who backs down when the going gets tough and in a few instances he’s able to hold his ground physically at least.

2. Wakan Tanka: Love at first sight. This ray of sunshine still persists as the number 1 husband, but number 2 character. Firstly I am a huge fan of the partial beast aesthetic. The buffalo ears and the horns are absolutely adorable. Secondly he’s a perfect body type; he’s not too muscular but not exactly flabby. Third he is just so positive and I love that. He’s someone I admire and wanna hug.

1. Taurus Mask: The more things change the more they stay the same. I’m still a big Taurus Mask fan for all the same reasons as last time. I just… relate to this boy. He is an incredibly shy boy who uses his public persona for confidence. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but it’s like we’re soul bros!

So yeah, my tastes haven’t changed in a year and a half.

#tokyo afterschool summoners #housamo #Just Thoughts #qna #sfw

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seoultraveller · 4 years ago

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bias tag

Rules: describe your bias [ in vibes ] as if they were someone in your life.

tagged by: @vintagejaemin (I apologize for taking upwards worth of a year to do this.)

tagging: [ @lilhwahwa @daisyteez @simphwa @hongcultz @rosy-wooyoung @hanatiny @thorsdreams @sunflowerhongjoong @yungidreamer @atiny-ahgase @ateez-angel @barsformars @twancingyunhoe @atthispointwhoevencares @vocalyunho @daybreakx @bon-tmblr . and you are not forced, pressured, or obligated to do this if you do not want to. and anyone else that comes across this and want to give it a go, you definitely should! ]

*A/N: I did another one for Seonghwa that i will post later. Also, since ATEEZ is just about the only group I rep on this blog, and I became double biased in September of last year, to fill up more space I will be doing my two biases and my ATEEZ bias wrecker. ☺️

Seonghwa - He is my ex-boyfriend. A bit shy at first, but extremely inquisitive and open, and coincidentally, has a fear of heights. He is the kind of guy that generally likes everyone, but loves those who love him back. An amazing cook that always made sure I was well fed, and made a special menu for us for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and our 3-month anniversary. The type to listen very well to my likes, dislikes, and interests. Also, the one to keep calm in a situation where I panicked! Verbally, and physically! He’s the guy to legitimately never sweat under pressure, especially when I was around. Planned weekends for us to go to museums and learn something new, or to go on a “healing” hike in the mountains to break a sweat and work up an appetite. He liked being active but he also liked to rest and cuddle. Often those cuddle sessions leading us to get more physically intimate. He was the guy that was mature enough to want to have a conversation about the future, our future together. He was firm and so sure that he wanted me part of his life forever.

Seonghwa is rest and relaxation by the fireplace / the voice of reason in a storm / a starry night out in the desert / the secretly crafty chef / the art teacher / that obscure object in life that teaches you life lessons that you don’t really register / understanding

Yunho - He is the Turkish lifeguard that I met on my long break in Didim. Very eager and very friendly until we both hit the wall that is the LANGUAGE BARRIER 😝. I decided to separate from the pack of friends that I was traveling with and go out a little further into the water. That’s when I spotted him and his two friends/co-workers cruising around in a boat making sure people were safe. I waved to him and he took it upon himself to wave back and take an impromptu break, and dive right in, to swim up to me to say ‘Hi’. Being taken aback a bit by this action all I could do was shyly giggle at his eagerness. As we both realized the kind of situation we had gotten ourselves into, with a simple smile and a wave, he decided to coax me far out to where the barrier was. I wanted to, but continued to warn him that I was not a strong swimmer, to which he would just respond, “C’mon, I’m a lifeguard.” Of course I gave in and swam with him out into the deep end. There we just laughed and smiled at each other (his smile was the literal shining sun). Having that as our only language to work with, I eventually thanked him for keeping me safe and swam back to the shore.

Yunho is good times at the beach / my first clubbing experience (which was incredible, by the way) / long trips / new adventures on vacation and at home / sun-shiney smiles / patience / spur-of-the-moment skinny dipping after one too many beers

San - He is that young student that I met in Istanbul, before flying back to the U.S. Whoooooo~ okay. He is the one that helped me to live in the “moment” and not to care too much about what others think. He took a chance but so did I and we started chatting anonymously to each other through an app. After agreeing to meet at a cafe serving tea and Turkish delight our day took off from there and escalated. It escalated in the best way possible! Walking around listening to the call to prayer in Sultanahmet Square, taking the train to a different side of the city for a shawarma (and then later, burgers and fries 🤪 yeah, I know ✋🏾), walking around a bookstore and talking about our favorite books and genres. Searching for a good bar to drink at and in the process, getting into a shaky elevator (bruh~ that was a truly questionable choice). While bumping shoulders in the cramped, dark, and shaky elevator, I looked into a mirror and he covered my eyes. He told me it was bad luck, so I turned to look at him instead (as a joke) and for a slight few seconds, you could feel the tension building between us. Then, that’s when the elevator doors opened. Eventually settling down to drink and smoke (I took a few puffs off of his cigarette and CHOKED) we talked and laughed. Having to make my way back to my hostel, he nearly got me kicked out of my hostel all together, because one of my roommates did not want a boy in the room. Eventually, we made a break for it to the rooftop where we had a perfect view of the Hagia Sophia ✨ 🤩. He peppered my forehead with kisses and caressed my cheeks as the moon was reaching its peak in the sky. He didn’t want to push me and I was unsure about kissing him. All in all, we had an intense make out session on the rocks, over the water. Before completely parting ways, he still noticed how reticent I was and gave me an endearing and warm forehead kiss. I was walking on clouds for the rest of the night.

Oh how I miss those feelings. For one day and night, I felt and experienced so much, and I wish to experience it again... everyday of my life.

San is comfort and excitement all at the same time / that coming of age story for young adults / Turkish delight and Tea at a cafe ( 😂 ) / close proximity in an elevator / honeymoon period for the rest of the relationship / naughty and nice experiences / peace in the chaos of a bustling city

*Yo~ with San’s... I lowkey just re-lived the experience and had to take a lot of things out. This was honestly just an opportunity for me to indulge in my past, where things got a little “warm”. None of what I’m saying is making any sense right now so ✌🏾

#seoultraveller tag game #bias tag game #bias tag #if this fails... then... sorry... 🥺

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qlistening · 3 years ago

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Is Now a Good Time to Become a Hippie?

Ha ha fun little opening note: I opened my iPad to write this and saw the Cornell notes template and now I’m wondering how the people who had to take Cornell notes to get through college are doing these days. Probably not well.

I’m cracking open the blog again this summer to really do some justice to the two month identity crisis that I, and maybe you, have been experiencing since graduation. I’ve been through the wringer, like most people, with the classic post-grad crises of “What am I doing with my life?” and “What am I even good at?”, and “Will I ever have fun again like I did in college?”. But honestly fuck those crises. That kind of shit is so cliche and boring to talk about. I need bigger broader shit on my plate. The type of existential garbage that can really wreck you. The types of questions that can’t be answered by your Mom saying “it’s okay honey”.

So the set I came up with is as follows: “What rules should I live my life by if I truly believe that our society will crumble to climate change in 1 - 2 generations?”, “How can I ever protect my soul from capitalism when I need the constant stimulation of city life to distract me from my depression?”, and “If I reconnect with my hippie childhood, will it destroy my chances of happiness and success later in life like it did for my parents?”.

I know what you’re thinking: “That’s an awesome list Ava. I wish I could have come up with that myself”. Sorry you can’t be me.

It’s got just enough “this girl needs to lay off the acid” undertones to be dismissed by the common man, yet is valid enough to make any stoner or stoner+ (the + is psychedelics) a little itchy.

Whithought further ado--I left this typo in here because I couldn’t stop laughing at it--, lettuce unpack these crises.

1. What rules should I live my life by if I truly believe that our society as we know it will crumble in 1 - 2 generations? I wish the answer was as simple as “more whippets”, but sadly, it just never is. There are actually a lot of sub-questions here like “Is enough change to reverse the course of climate change even possible at this point?”, “Does our species even deserve to be saved, or should we lean into the suffering and let the deer dance on our graves?”, “What the fuck are you supposed to be with your life when you can’t bring yourself to reproduce because the world is ending so you have to constantly invent a sense of purpose for yourself instead of just using your kids as a cop out?, and lastly “What if you’re making a mistake by not going to Mars with Jeff and Elon na d the vibes there end up being super lit?”

You see, I’m really good at coming up with these questions, but pretty bad at answering them. All I’ve come up with in terms of the rules and purpose part is just to vibe it out and focus my energy on good ol’ drugs, sex, and rock n roll till the end. But UH OH! Now I’ve become my parents.

Perhaps I could focus on nature, gratitude, and spirituality? OH CRUD! Now I’m Rose, who has definitely reconciled these issues better than me, but has the advantage of being an introvert. Shorty don’t need that social stimulation like I do and can just go hermit mode when the going gets tough. Not I.

How about a commune? Tempting, but I’ve heard about a lot of commune drama in my day and don’t really want to get whisked into some Midsommer shit by accident.

Comedy? Can’t go monetizing my best coping mechanism, now can I?

Pose your questions to a broader audience in folk songs like Bob Dylan? I think I’m too street for that and I can’t play the guitar.

Focus on work and being successful? Nope. Work blows and I’m supposed to be protecting my soul from capitalism.

I tend to treat this question like the hard ones on the EOGs and just skip it and plan on circling back later.

2. How do I protect my soul from capitalism when I need the constant stimulation of city life to distract me from my depression? And when I say I need that shit, I mean it. New people. New shit to do. All the time. I ain’t havin’ no baby, so settling down isn’t in the cards either. There is no scenario where I am going to move out to the suburbs just to stare at my husband every night for 30+ years or, in a more likely scenario, stare at the wall. I’m staying on the scene for a long time, maybe forever.

That being said, the city is ripe with capitalism. Everyone works like a dog 24/7, switching back and forth between 2 - 4 Apple devices to accomplish God knows what in the grand scheme of things. Tech, finance, and marketing (the classic city trio) have to be the most pointless and cutthroat industries we have come up with to date. It feels like you have to have to have one of those jobs to live there. To afford it, sure, but beyond that, to know that you beat out someone else to get it and that you have successfully stepped on your first of many necks on the way to the top.

I’m moving to Chicago in like 2 weeks to work in tech/finance and sucking my own dick for having a management position so, clearly, I am not above any of this. But I sure wish I was. Even the first month of my soul-selling transaction feels like it has taken years off my life and dulled my flame quite a bit more than school ever did. So I am on the LOOKOUT for ways to get my mouth on some deep dish pizza and fine Chicago men without all of these bullshit side effects.

And Finally…

3. If I reconnect with my hippie childhood now, will it destroy my chances at happiness and success like it did for my parents?

I feel like this one needs to be elaborated on a little more. For anyone who doesn’t know, my parents are both raging Dead Heads who practiced the art of escapism together on tour for 20 some years until Jerry Garcia died tragically in ‘95. In a desperate search for a new purpose, they popped out me and my sister and now we’re all living the middle class dream in a ranch house on the outskirts of Greensboro. “But at least they’re happy and they love each other right?” Nope. Ls all around.

Sadly, this isn’t just my parents. This seems to be the classic hippie timeline. You feel good, get high, get laid, and indulge your senses in your 20s and you realize that none of it is monetizable and come out the other end begging for capitalism to take you back and bless you with a mediocre career. I know I sound like Nixon right now, but I’m just reading off the data from what I’ve seen.

Shit is really fucking sad man. I just want to think and feel and vibe and enjoy the world for what it is before it gets too crispy but I feel like I can’t. Any step away from my career feels like it will just land me at the bottom of the totem poll with a job that sucks even more than the one I started with. And yeah, I’m a lot smarter and slicker and decidedly childless than my parents, but it feels like a big fucking dice roll to do the same thing that they did and expect a different outcome. I mean they are the two most genetically similar people to me on the planet, after-all. I really do think I have to be careful and stick with the straight and narrow for now. Bummer because I would like to just bool before the world ends, but unfortunately, that’s going to take a little too long for me to avoid these problems.

In conclusion: I believe the answer to the question I posed in the title is “Not really and I should probably start hashing these things out with a therapist instead of a tumblr blog sooner rather than later”.

And if you are wondering, no I am not high right now, but I am about to be because that shit was heavy.

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