#Rashid gets to answer this one!

[sins-of-the-sea]

🌱

Questions for Immortals/Ancients

🌱 What is one thing about the world you’ve come to appreciate?

"That nothing is truly alien or beyond understanding in any part of the world regardless of the time, regardless of the cultural climate or the language spoken. Everything and anything can be learned as long as you take the time and be earnest with it. Our understandings of the world do change, but it can be caught up with, or rewound to see where we are coming from. But I always appreciate when that understanding becomes wider and more widely embraced."

[dxxtruction]

Honestly, the only one to gain any legitimate benefit from planting those photos would be Daniel, so he could have them distracted long enough to look through the files he had. Notably, he only starts snooping through them alone when he can be sure they’re distracted. Rashid doing it via Raglan's orders. From a writing standpoint this would be really good set up for the later pay off of Rashid doing the same action again so that the truth can be revealed, again.

I also think, it’s possible, Raglan was the buyer of the three furies (he's an avid art collector), which was the first time Daniel had a distraction. I think they were both working together on giving ample distractions, so Daniel could use his Talamasca resources without being caught. This was a way to get Daniel what he wanted (his book and to live), and also get Raglan what he wanted (some paintings, information for his job, and someone who now owes him a favor). This read to me gives a larger plot relevance to Daniel, Raglan, and Rashid, instead of them just being mostly passive actors in the story. This also provides greater validity to some of Daniel's own characterization as someone good at getting angles, and who believes 'honesty is not a tactic'. It also tells us how easy it is to have vampires distracted, thus better legitimizing the plausibility of certain events in the interview. It would also explain why it's Raglan and not some other talamasca member, as he's definitely more the type to get up to sewing discord and such to achieve his greedy ends. That's actually, all his character in the books really is.

I feel this gives the photos far better plot relevance and also simultaneously reveals something about every single one of the characters involved. How do Louis and Armand respond to being on the receiving end of having these photos planted by neither of them? What sort of assumptions and actions do they take for it? These sorts of things are answered, alongside Daniel getting his answers, and this revealing something about him. That getting the truth is more important to him than how he gets it. And that getting his 'score' is more important than even the truth.

[teecupangel]

Hi teecup, I hope ur having a great day/noon/night!

Forgive me if the things i'm about to say don't make much sense. It's been a vey, very, very, difficult time for me and my countrymen here, and my ability to make coherent sentences have declined drastically. So, yeah... BUT! That doesn't matter haha.

Anyways, I had a thought. And i'm not even sure how or why i got it but.... hear me out now...

Our boy, Desmond, gets thrown back in time as usual, same old same old, right? Exept, this time he doesn't end up in the Big Three™'s time-line. He ends up in Al-Mualim's time. *insert mind-blown emoji here cuz i can't find it rn*

And ik that i'm not a certified AC Expert like u and many others, and i haven't really finished any of the AC games yet (i've only seen bits of AC III and have only started AC 2, I also haven't finished AC 1)

But I do know that he wasn't really that creepy and evil in his youth/ b4 he became The Old Man of the Moutain, so i was thinking maybe Desmond ends up in that era of Al Mualim or is it Rashid al-Din Sinan? I know that he's based on a real historical figure but i'm not so sure if he's called that in-game?

And knowing Desmond, he'd probably get the urge to kill Rashid (i hope i'm using the name correctly) the time he figures shit out and connect that dots. But he would end up not doing that, cuz u know, it might fuck up the time-line and Altaïr might end up not being born, creating a domino-effect.

I want Desmond to meet Rashid before he starts to becom the Al Mualim we know today, so that Desmond can see how he was b4 the evants of AC 1.

Maybe Rashid's an arrogant ass, or a nerdy loser, or a popular assassin- who knows! The possibilites are endless!! (or maybe he's an obsessive bastard who gets obsessed with Desmond cuz he's just full of mysteries and wonders :Dc )

And blah blah blah, plot here, plot there, Isu-bullshit this, time shenanigans that, and BOOM they meet.

And romance ensues? :3 (romace wil absolutely ensue :}}} )

NOW, BEFORE- BEFORE YOU TIE ME TO A STAKE AND BURN ME ALIVE FOR THIS- i think it'd be a cute idea, and who knows? maybe Rashid was hot in his prime *insert lenny face cuz even after all these years i still don't know how to type it and is too lazy to cop paste it* and maybe he liked to solve mysteries and had a thing for the unexplainable. And Desmond is the most unexplainable, most bizarre thing to have graced the earth :33333.

Now that i've got this idea out of my system i'm gonna go pray for the down fall of my coutry's shit for brain, good for nothing military government/hj.

bye! *evaporates*

I hope you’re doing alright and I’m sorry that it took two months before I could answer your ask TTATT

As far as I know, he was only called Al Mualim because of legal reasons but Rashid ad-Din Sinan was the leader of the Assassins in Masyaf during 1191 so it’s safe to assume Al Mualim is AC’s version of Rashid (historically he died in 1193, not 1191.

.

Okay. We can make this work.

We put Desmond at around the same time he’s the recruit and we make it hard for him to realize he’s Al Mualim until it’s too late by doing one simple thing:

Desmond doesn’t know Al Mualim’s real name.

He always knew it as Al Mualim. As far as he knew, Al Mualim was his actual name.

Then he remembered that Al Mualim can mean mentor and bangs his head on the nearest flat surface.

His mission has been clear from the start.

Become an Assassin, take out Al Mualim before he does shit, find Umar and adopt him then play matchmaker so Altaïr would be born.

And no.

Desmond wasn’t going to think about the whole “can you truly be sure that the person who will be born will be Altaïr if you change the circumstances of his conception?”

Yeah.

His head hurts just thinking about it so he won’t.

For now, he’ll focus on his training while keeping a look out for anyone who gives of Al Mualim vibes.

What’s the Al Mualim vibes?

Manipulative old man vibes.

The problem is…

Rashid is one of the recruits in the same batch as Desmond and he becomes Desmond’s closest friend.

And there was no way Desmond would ever be friends with a future power hungry asshole like Al Mualim.

No way.

.

The way their relationship becomes romantic really depends on the kind of personality young Rashid would have.

A nerdy loser who starts making a name for himself because of his intelligence and tactical mind would start off as the kid Desmond sorta looks after. When he starts to show that his strength lies in making plans and quick judgments, he becomes the man whispering on Desmond’s ear. Providing plans and suggestions while giving Desmond a heads up on the less savory words people say about him. Desmond would never think this Rashid is Al Mualim because he’s nice and truly do want to help Desmond. This is also how Rashid would show his love for Desmond and, really, Desmond would think they’re bros and when he realizes that Rashid actually loves him, he’d think “oh, I am Ezio’s descendant”

An arrogant ass Rashid would butt heads with Desmond but Desmond would find himself fond of the man because he reminds him of AC1 Altaïr. This is the Rashid who would definitely be counted as a tsundere and their relationship would start when Rashid just flatout tells Desmond that he wants to do unspeakable things to him while they’re arguing. Desmond is offended because “tugging on my pigtails doesn’t work in real life, dumbass!” and Rashid is just “???” because what the fuck are pigtails??? Lots of awkwardness until Desmond realize that butting heads with Rashid is really how they flirt.

Now. Popular Assassin Rashid is more on the side of polite but is absolutely Desmond’s rival. Whatever it is, the two of them are always competing. Unlike the arrogant ass version, this Rashid is always nice to Desmond. The whole “no hard feelings” and pure competitiveness are what drives their relationship. This is the one where the two of them spar privately one time and things happen. They would try to distant themselves from one another for a bit until they finally talk it out. Rashid honestly didn’t think he loved Desmond until the whole ‘after-sparring’ thing.

Whichever you pick as Rashid’s background, he will become obsessed with Desmond but it’s more on the side of “I will do everything to make Desmond happy” which is good for Desmond but not really good for anyone against him.

.

Desmond is the one who adopts Umar in this one and Umar imprints on him like a baby duckling to a mama duckling. Everyone actually assumed Umar is his bastard son. Desmond ignores it even though he’s only like… a decade and a half older than Umar.

Rashid definitely treats him like Desmond’s son. He’s Umar’s favorite of all of Desmond’s friends.

And really, Desmond should have seen that as a hint of Rashid’s ‘future’.

Speaking of the future.

He’s been looking for Al Mualim this entire time and he has his suspects (Rashid, however, is not on the list) but honestly?

He’s just waiting for the person who would be picked as the one to lead the expansion to Masyaf since that would be Al Mualim.

Desmond has, unfortunately, fucked up the timeline so badly that the person chosen to lead the expansion?

It was Desmond.

.

Sidebar: Faheem would be that cute younger brother who turns grumpy when he grows up. Desmond will forever grieve the lost of little cute Faheem. Faheem is always embarrassed when Desmond talked about his ‘past’.

[avelera]

I’m dying for your thoughts on what is going on in Dubai with the triangulation of Armand and Daniel in Dubai because nothing in 2.05 explain ms what they(beddeath vampires) could want him to tell them as referenced earlier in the season or warrant all the Rashid pageantry. Especially not with how Armand looks at Daniel like he just got home from the wars.

Your takes are exquisite and I’d love to hear them.

Ok, I THINK you're asking what the hell is going on with Daniel and Armand and Louis and the longing looks Armand keeps shooting Daniel and I might be missing some nuance to your question but that is the question I'm gonna answer because I can't stop thinking about it.

Ok. Ok, ok, SO!! The biggest question I think we're facing as of 2.05 is did the Devil's Minion chapter of Queen of the Damned ever happen?

For the uninitiated (LOTS of BOOK SPOILERS but like the books have been out for decades, sorry): Louis/Armand is like... not a thing. At least, it's not one of the big love affairs of the series compared to Louis/Lestat. I mean they've had a situationship but they're definitely not a long devoted love affair going right up to the beginning of the events of Vampire Lestat/Queen of the Damned, which is where the show seems to take place. They traveled together for a bit after the events of Interview with the Vampire but then parted ways because What Happened In Paris changed Louis irrevocably.

The big love of Armand's life in the books is Daniel.

And we learn this in the chapter of Queen of the Damned called the Devil's Minion.

Because Armand stumbles upon "The Interviewer" and falls in love and they have this fucked up whirlwind torrid romance where Daniel teaches Armand about the modern world and basically "how to be fascinating" and Daniel begs over and over to be made into a vampire.

Lots of stuff happens between them but short, TRAGIC version is that Armand does make Daniel into a vampire and it breaks Daniel's mind. He's not a cool powerful vampire once he's turned, he's basically a vegetable, he loses his mind and becomes a hollow husk of himself. (Ironically, insane-new-vampire!Daniel is left in the care of Marius of all people lol)

SO, from the book reader perspective, I shot upright on my couch when I saw old Daniel. Because Old Daniel means we're in... some flavor of happy AU? We're in an AU where Armand did the "responsible" thing and didn't give Daniel the Dark Gift, so Daniel got to grow old and actually be a person instead of being the Devil's Minion where Armand became his whole personality and then he lost his mind.

Thing is, since S1, I've been assuming, like others I think, that we're in an AU where the Devil's Minion didn't happen at all. That Daniel did the interview, he and Louis parted ways, and now he's back to finish it. It seemed neat, clear, if a little confusing for book fans because Daniel/Armand is one of THE great love affairs and it seems like it just got skipped entirely, which kind of makes sense since no other film version has really delved into it, right?

WRONG. OK, so with the longing looks that begin RIGHT when Armand finally reveals himself, the whole mic drop moment of "Armand, the love of my life" while Armand stares at Daniel, almost seeming to plead with his eyes "GET ME AWAY FROM HIM" and looking at Daniel with such longing, going into SEASON 2 where we learn that ok, the 1970s beat was WAY more complicated than it seems, Louis' memory is very faulty, Armand has actively tampered with both of them and we DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH....?

So my current theory is: the Devil's Minion DID happen.

Armand and Daniel had their love affair, but instead of turning Daniel, which by the way he had to be talked into doing because of Daniel's suicide attempt basically, Armand set him free. But CLEARLY he continued to stalk and pine after Daniel, if he was there at Daniel's fucking engagement reading his girlfriend's mind enough to tell Daniel what she was really thinking then. Armand was definitely still OBSESSIVELY IN LOVE. And, IMO, has been the whole time.

Now, what does this mean going forward? What do I think is going on?

Armand wants out of his relationship with Louis but he's chronically, pathologically, incapable of breaking up with anyone. He used Lestat to break up the Children of Darkness, he used Louis to break up the Theatre des Vampires, and now he's using Daniel to end this fucked up marriage he and Louis are in.

Armand is doing this first by consenting to renew the interview, Louis gets a walk down memory lane, remembers how much he loves Lestat. Not to solidify their bond with how good things are now, but to break it up with nostalgia.

Armand is also going to reveal things he's hidden from Louis, I think. Like the fact Armand killed Claudia. I think right now they're both operating under the excuse that Santiago and the coven did it in defiance of Armand but that is simply not true, Armand ordered her death to get Louis all to himself. But (book canon) her death broke Louis so basically Armand destroyed what he wanted in Louis in the gaining of him.

Armand also misses Daniel. He's doing the classic passive lover thing, using the next lover to get rid of the current one. That's why he picked Daniel specifically as the vehicle of his liberation. Boy wants to get white knighted in the most fucked up way possible. Evidence: every single painfully longing, puppy dog look he shoots Daniel's way and how those looks only get more intense the more Louis waxes poetic about how great the Loumand relationship is.

Armand appears as Rashid in order to establish for plausible deniability for Louis that he DIDN'T have a relationship with Daniel OR, if Louis knows about it, that he really did do as promised and wiped Daniel's mind. Look, Daniel doesn't even remember him! When he's standing right there! Pretending to be Rashid! He definitely didn't summon his former lover here to break up Louis and him, obviously this is JUST about Louis' desire to do the interview haha, definitely not trying to bring his old ex to break up his current relationship the guy doesn't even remember who he is.

In conclusion: Armand still wants to fuck that boy old man. And he wants to get rid of Louis by making Louis break up with him because that's how Armand rolls. And that's why this whole ridiculous pantomime is happening, because Armand will never, ever be the active party in the breakup because the boy is way, way too fucked up by his supremely fucked up life up to this point to ever be the initiator. Instead he will always, always manipulate those around him to do what he wants.

[funtheysaid]

IWTV 2x01 Initial Thoughts (Stream Of Consciousness)

- That title card for Delainey felt very stage play to me (ahhh I adore the theatrical elements for this season)

- Ooh I love the idea that vamps can take on the emotions of whosever blood they’re drinking - it’s like the vampire equivalent of when werewolves can smell ppl’s emotions and fears through chemosignals (a la Teen Wolf iykyk)

- “Disregard” is the funniest shit ever 😂 Oldmaniel they could never make me hate you

- There’s a Real Rashid OMFG ??? Lol imagine he’s not actually Rashid and they pull one over on us again I’d fucking shit myself

- “Your love was in a box” OH MY GOD EAT HIM UP DANNY BOY

- OMG OMG LOUSTAT ITS HAPPENIGN ITS HAPPENING EVERYONE SHUT UP

- I MISS YOU TOO LESTAT

- “Quite fucked” 😏😏😏

- “mon amour” “mon cher” “love” IM GOING TO EXSANGUINATE MYSELF ISTG

- The singular finger on Louis’ chin 🥲 so delicate so soft so bad for my mental health

- I like Emilia

- “They are not used to seeing man with good looks” OKAY I know they’re just racists BUT she also wasn’t lying bc beautiful Louis is canon god bless you Jacob Anderson

- Lol Morgan a little fruity

- OOH memory is a monster! They be redoing scenes as Louis “fixes” his memories !!!! That’s gonna show up again for sure :))))

- “Stupid Halloween costume” Daniel Molloy the brat that you are (is okay, Armand likes brats) *cough cough*

- I’ve never seen someone *elegantly* close an iPad before. Armand, you have bewitched me.

- The fucking sexual tension between DM is stifling 🥵😶‍🌫️ Um if this is us “not getting Devil’s Minion” then I think imma be okay

- Claudia pushing the little racist boy 🤪🥹 we can’t help but to stan

- WTF AMC you can’t just jumpscare me with a Grace photograph :’)))

- “UP YOUR BUM” EXCUSE ME MORGAN I KNEW YOU WERE FRUITY BUT SIRRRR?

- so the makeup department really put their whole sfxussies into that decrepit ass abomination

- Louis: Alexa, play Mr. Steal Your Girl by Trey Songz

- Claudia calling Louis Daddy in S1: ☺️🍭👼 Claudia calling Louis Daddy in S2: 😖🤢😟

- I’m dubbing Louis “The Rat Prince”

- “If he can’t take you ballroom dancing and call you pretty” ICONIC.

- “the motherfucker” it’s on sight Bruce or Killer or whatever the fuck your name was 🤕🥊

- “her hand twitched like yours would” why was that line lowkey out of pocket. My mans has Parkinson’s Louis !!!!

- SHE DREAMS 😭 MY FUCKING GOD STOP MY EYES ARE GONNA BE PUFFY WHEN I WAKE UP TOMORROW

- that wasn’t even acting that was some REAL shit. Get Jacob Anderson his Emmy or Oscar or Tony or whatever the fuck I just need him to be awarded for his talent

- Daniel’s soft compassionate side: rare but that much more meaningful when it makes an appearance

- LOUIS you did not just do Emilia dirty like that TF!?! She helped you dude.

- “Human affairs. Their problem.” Not you listening to Lestat now of all times

- “Catfish with teeth” Louis can really read a bitch to filth can’t he?

- AHHH THERE ARE TWO OF THE FUCKERS 👹👹

- Oh shit he’s a kid okay I’m sorry for calling you an abomination earlier. That was mean.

- Woman vampire, you standing precariously close to that fire 👀

- Delainey’s facial expressions are the perfect blend of innocent and slightly unsettling

- OPP INTO THE FIRE SHE GOES rip 🔥

- What the hell is a bacon triptych am I just stupid don’t answer that

- Armand you ain’t beating the iPad kid allegations

- “It’s his drug” He said that with such malice. Is this a “he needed me but he needed drugs more” plot line???

- So Dubai Loumand is chilly frigid tepid frosty glacial

- Free feet? Okay im sorry

- “We can have him saying what happened next in no time” okay wait hold up why you making it sound like YOU don’t know what happened next and you need him to tell you???

- oh danny boy whistling while the couple he’s counseling walks in… is this a comedy or ?

- Daniel: yeah? 🤓 Armand: yeah 🫦

- “the mother of New Orleans” oh he misses home

- LMFAO Daniel interrupting Armand before he can start soliloquizing

- Louis and Claudia in a truck full of art which they belong in bc they too are pieces of art to me

- hard words. soft words. 🥺

- “a shit life beats no life” god damn this monologue feels like Louis is speaking directly to my soul

- ��as long as you walk the earth I’ll never taste the fire” If this is foreshadowing I- I- I don’t know what I’ll do but it’s going to involve a baseball bat and a waffle iron and my head

- “it would be enough” pan to Lestat 💀 you can’t be fucking serious right now you just cannot

- okay it’s over and the teaser for the season just started playing and I just have to shout out the score bc damn if those violins don’t get me every god damn time

(Stutter) That’s all, folks! 🐷👋

[nalyra-dreaming]

Some comments on episode 3 / episode 10 - SPOILERS * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Daniel not wanting to eat the living fish…. yeah I can empathize

Raglan James - Is that a real name???? (LOL)

Love the banter

Daniel doubting how many Rashid’s there are… indeed

I like that they’re echoing Louis being away in last season this one as well

The underlying threat of Armand being able to kill them all if he so chose

That audio visualization will become important still I bet

How do you hide from the cloud indeed

Louis being asleep during the day?! Why this time? He was awake during the day before?

“Lestat’s prophetic vision”

Yes, be snarky Daniel :)

Flashback!!!!

Ugh incineration by fire gift

Oh Armand watching Lestat as harlequin - he has it baaaaad

Armand hinting that Lestat has powers he has not touched, and them talking to each other in their minds….

Viens a moi! Come to me!!! There it is! Armand said it to Lestat, yes baby!

And Armand admitting to stalking and then kidnapping.

And I love that they’re doing it all in French - I cannot quite judge but hope it’s well done

mhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh YES I CANNOT LIE I APPRECIATE IT AND I LOVE IT

the time freezing was so well done

Gosh Nicki. Gosh that feeding

to summarize: Liar, liar, pants on fire (LOL), but I love it. Ah yes, great fanfic, I like

Great now I will imagine Lestat and Armand beeeeeeeep in that box for ETERNITY lol

And Daniel… not buying it lol

“He abandoned xyz”… ohhhh there we have it. There we have it (not). The crux of the whole matter.

Louis knows what’s up. Deep down he knows. But them matching the stories is almost cute.

Claudia humbling herself like this to be part of it all breaks my heart

The sneezing made me cry with laughter

Ahhhh the wet room. And the rats. And the tombs. The tombs. Ohhhhh they’re so gonna lock Louis up there later. Oh boy.

“That’s a bit german” re the incinerator !!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Holy shit?!)

God Lestat interrupting that moment. And Armand sensing “Bruce”. Daaaamn.

Daniel getting distracted but the Talamasca. Who have access to his computer. (!!!)

“Where is Claudia at this point” 😔 (and no answer)

Santiago’s maker being down in the tombs is IMMENSELY interesting. WHO THE FUCK IS HE

Also him telling Claudia that her lies are almost convincing….

The “come to me” scene. Even better in total. Oh Louis. Armand calling him out on it.

And the philosophical discussion there. The admission despite the warning. Something Louis ALMOST remembers…

“that’s debatable” - “she did”. Oh MAN LOUIS

“I told you I loved you” - “And you said nothing.” Holy hell.

THAT KISS. the music.

It’s RAW.

God they’re on another level

AND THE PHOTO: Lestat being there… and then vanishing!!!!

Louis knows. He knows. Also that little story Claudia makes up there… oof.

The Bacon triptych - that is so weird. WHO wants to buy it. I BET that’s important.

And Daniel using the time to go through the material and find the proof of the theater burning.

The coven pressuring Armand. I LOVED that. The trepidation. Ugh.

And them throwing Louis out when she is initiated. Does he know of the five laws??????

And Claudia’s expression at the laws. Oh maaaannnnnn.

And I KNEW it!! Armand is playing with the fire there “threatening” Louis. I mean, he ultimately doesn’t, but he ALMOST does. The discussion in the sewers. The foreshadowing once more. Louis calling on what Armand promised, and Armand throwing the lies into his face. DAMN.

And Armand stating that Claudia won’t be there for long.

God I knew the coven would go and humiliate Claudia with that role. I knew it. Damn. Her face.

“The Savage Garden”. The roaring of the fire behind Louis. More foreshadowing.

“Did he break you? Or did you break him?” 😭😭

A century ago. Yesterday. So much pain.

That kiss. And Louis inviting Armand in on the premise that he won’t kill him!!!!!!!!!! Holy shit.

NO PAIN.

AAAAALLLLLLL THE PAIN.

Argh, loved it, maybe a favorite so far. There is so much going on. So much foreshadowing. So much knowledge suppressed, or endured. So much bitter realization. So many things hinted at and introduced.

Also, as clear as it is (and was said in the episode insider) that this is Armand’s little fanfic version… (as Assad how much of it is used to "paint Armand in a good light"?!) :))) . It was a LOT of fun. :)

And that banquet scene will be in the next episode already!! Whoop whoop, cannot wait!

[maevelin]

SO MANY QUESTIONS

Now that I had time to digest there are things I NEED S3 to answer me. And I am only focused on the show's mythology here and not by trying to have answers from the books.

I want the show to follow through:

"Why."

Why did Lestat go to Paris for the trial?

He felt compelled to? He wanted revenge? He knew it was inevitable and wanted to be there for damage control? Why did he rehearse the whole thing when obviously he was reluctant in doing so?

"Why do I do the things I do?" It is a good question because he did cross an ocean to get to that trial and I want answers.

"Trial."

I feel there are still missing pieces from the trial. And what led to it at least from Lestat's perspective.

"Why."

Why did Armand got Louis out of the coffin?

I am assuming (for now at least) it was Armand and Louis could taste his blood and it was not something he was believed due to his insane state at that moment.

But at first Armand is set on convincing Louis to get out of Paris. If that was the goal why? To save him from the coven? Or to ensure that Lestat would follow Louis? Lestat obviously remained on Paris waiting for Louis and Armand knew where he was.

"Adaptability - Machinations"

Obviously Armand orchestrated the trial. He chose the coven. He then convinced Louis it was his one act of cowardice and followed Louis.

But if we take a step back you have two covens destroyed and Armand the Coven Master has no liability for it if it ever comes down to his trial. Was that the purpose all along? Half a millennia and he is adapting to circumstances or is he creating them?

"Dinner preparations - I do hope you join us - we have something special prepared for you Daniel"

COME ON NOW! You can't just expect me to believe that this was not put there for a reason? What what that THEY HAD PREPARED FOR DANIEL?

The get out of there NOW from Talamasca was because of the impending fight between Louis and Armand or because Louis and Armand has something special prepared for Daniel? Both?

"What's the observation? The boy we met in San Francisco...he is still in there somewhere...we can find him...we can have him saying what happened next in no time...we do it together"

There are still missing pieces from San Francisco.

We know that when a vampire injures themselves heavily it takes time to recuperate. So something in the timeline does not exactly add up.

Armand is strong enough to carry Daniel away on his own but we see Daniel being carried in the photo by both Armand and Louis. Even if Louis was needed which he was not (or even he wanted to be there to ensure Armand would not hurt Daniel) would he have been able to do that in his burned state?

Then there is the part where supposedly Louis asked Armand to erase his memories. Do we trust that part or we need to see more of what actually happened?

"The Fight."

So we have seen how the fight between Lestat and Louis was shown in parts in two seasons from dual perspectives. And in S1 there were parts of the fight off screen. But in the both there was chaos and blood.

Now in S2 we get the fight between Armand and Louis. It is OFF SCREEN again. We hear Armand's words but that is pretty it. After such "seismic" lie one would believe Louis would be off the rails and the fight would be monumental.

Instead we get very little damage. There is almost no blood. Armand the 500+ POWERFUL vampire is very easily subdued. The fight basically ends just before it begins. And Louis...leaves. He simply leaves with a weak warning at best and Daniel is left alone with Armand. No Rashid, no Louis. Just them.

Then - time fast forward - Daniel is a vampire and Armand is nowhere to be found.

And then Burdened out of spite, not just turned. And all that while Louis himself admitted previously to Lestat that this had been a gift and not a burden even if he felt it as such at the beginning.

Something just does not add up.

And Daniel is searching for Armand (or so we think, or so he wants Louis to believe, or actually is happening).

"It is the other - Louis (?) - you should be afraid of."

This can not just be an empty warning by the Talamasca. Why would Daniel not need to be afraid of Armand? In comparison to Louis Armand is far more powerful, manipulative and has no reason as to keep Daniel alive...right?

And then Armand that has not turned ANYONE, turns Daniel. If this is to be believed then Daniel is his first fledgling and he did it out of spite? Something still does not add up.

Plus the Talamasca knew from the start that Daniel would not get out of this interview alive. Was it a safe deduction given how vampires operate? Or they had more to go on when it comes to Daniel and his relations with the vampires?

And also by the time the book is written and published there is some undefined time in between. It has to be a lot of months AT BEST.

Too much time. You can't just have a gap like that without explaining it to the audience.

"Daniel publishes the book." Louis burned the laptop but it is no use.

So Daniel publishes the book and so far we have seen that only Louis is getting threats. Daniel is living THE LIFE out in the open where even Daniel is warning Louis to hide. As if there is an added layer of protection no one would dare cross when it comes to Daniel when in reality he is now a vampire (but he IS Armand's Fledgling) and he was the one who published the books (plus he has ties with the Talamasca).

"Blood of Akasha."

Okay enough said, we need to know. NOW.

P.s: there are by far more questions that I have but yeah...I need to stop somewhere. LOL

[dont-justdont]

here is a list of things that i so wish would happen in s2 of iwtv but im not really sure they will (im manisfesting it into being, sue me) :

- the europe trip before louis and claudia come to paris. i absolutely love that part of the book because in canon, louis and claudia do not know whether or not other vampires exist, and there's this desperation of are we alone in this world and can we go on knowing that? except in the show 1) claudia has already met killer so they know they're not alone so that desperation is not as palpable and 2) with everything that went down last episode and with rashid being armand i feel like it would drag things and not fit as well in the story to spend a whole episode before paris both for the viewers but in the perspective of story telling as a whole

- this does not happen in the books but just imagine : claudia and louis come into armand's rooms for the first time, louis is enamored with armand but claudia is looking around and armand has all these gothic horror looking things around including a pair of hands that kind of look like a statue but are also too gruesome and look too real to be made of rock and armand just says something along the lines of "you know how violinists can be" and changes the subject but i just want, no i need armand to have nicki's hands as a decoration somewhere i feel like he would definitely do that and it would just be a nice easter egg to put in the show (please mr producer please)

- lestat clutching claudia's dress in the theater after she dies and louis seeing him. THE DRAMA is just unbelievable and i absolutely love that scene, it's one of the things im mad they didnt include in the movie and i just hope with all my little heart they will include in the series. just imagine: feral louis who just got buried alive, armand in the back SATISFIED WITH HIMSELF (he is so manipulative i love him) and lestat just small and weak clutching a piece of claudia's dress while louis is both relieved but also terribly mad at lestat for being alive and just???? i love the entirety of this please make it come to life

- daniel fucking malloy requestioning the veracity of the entire story and just him being like was it raining louis?!? everytime louis speaks. i mean this is obviously going to happen but im so ready for it

- additionally, armand questioning daniel (cue devils minion? please pretty pretty please mr producer?) about the last years because i am convinced devils minion happened after the first interview but daniel doesnt remember/doesnt want to remember and i just NEED armand to torture him with that (not literally, or literally as well im not picky) and i need to see them together please

- lestat being seen through armand's perspective. now hear me out : sam has said multiple times that while he was playing lestat, he was playing him through louis' perspective of him, and he'd go like "nope that's not what happened" and bla bla bla. except now we get narrator!armand so im asking the question (and praying we get the answer) : what does lestat look like from armand's perspective? how does he act and how does that version of lestat contrast with louis'? DO THEY SEE THE CONTRADICTIONS BETWEEN THEMSELVES AND FREAK OUT ABOUT IT?!? (because i will) daniel you better call out their bullshit or i am coming for you

this is already a long post so ill leave this as is for now but i might (will) come back with more eventually, please tell me your hopes for s2 i cant wait!!!

[impressionism]

Since we’re inching closer and closer to S2, I have one collective thought/question I hope gets answered and it is…

Why? Why a second interview? Why at this point in time and why with Daniel? Like it can’t be just wanting to make amends or because Daniel’s dying. I’m sure there was a point when Daniel was in a better space health wise, why not then? There’s way more to it imo cos at the end of it all, Louis can tell his story to ANYONE…

Why the charade of Armand as Rashid? Daniel doesn’t remember you. You miss him that much you want to see him constantly face to face and not in the shadows of watching over him at his home from a distance?

Like they said in recent interviews/previews, what’s REALLY real? I hope we get little nuggets or clues that are more flat out than vague.

[puntointerrogativo]

“we’re still debating certain things about whether certain events happened, but seeds are placed.” S.R.

“When you find [Lestat] in Episode 8, where is he?” Reid asks. “Has he come back to his own maker’s prison by his own choice, or is he put there? We’ve left space for that to be explored. I think it’s more interesting — and Rolin probably does as well, and it probably took me a longer time to get around this — to continue to give each individual character their own agency rather than saying, this person is the victim of this person, or this is the baddie and this is the goodie” S.R.

“Did Louis stage the Dubai interview because he had a hunch about Armand’s lie? Anderson says, “Yeah, I do,” in response to that question, and he’s been theorizing this since filming the Season 1 finale. Louis has never seen this interview as the chronicling of a suicide like Armand (as Rashid) described it, according to Anderson […] Suspecting Armand “was something that I started to get a sense of when we did that Season 1 Episode 7 moment of ‘the love of my life,’ because Rolin always talks about that as the end of The Graduate,” Anderson continues. “I was like, ‘Oh, it’s a cry for help.’ He found the person that he knew could draw the truth out of everyone, including himself.” J.A.

“that Armand was “forced” to direct the trial and that all of his subsequent punishment from the coven was “absolutely true. He directed it, but it wasn’t his choice to do it,” Zaman says.” A.Z.

Mmm, very interesting tvinsider article - first of all huge, GIGANTIC kudos to Sam because not knowing if your character’s doing what he’s doing by choice or if he’s being forced and tortured must not make it easy to do your job 😵‍💫 (not to mention the fun of trying to answer press questions, poor man).

Sooo, let’s say we go with this version and leave the books behind. It goes more or less like this:

The coven makes Armand choose, and he decides to sell Claudia and Louis out.

They “call” Lestat to testify, and he comes - because what else can he do? The trial will happen with or without him and if he’s there there’s a chance he can save them.

Armand directs the play. This one I’m a bit meh about but ok, he needs to prove himself, he has the experience, sadistic punishment, yadda, yadda…

Lestat and Armand don’t do the smart thing and work together against the coven presumably because previous history (Nicky) means Lestat doesn’t trust him. Also, from what we’ve seen they’re both kinda terrible at planning.

Lestat has limited energy and a choice to make - he chooses to save Louis. He has to watch Claudia burn. By now the coven knows better than to trust him and he’s either too traumatized or too drained (or both) to do much else. We don’t know if he faced retaliation from the coven.

Armand finally gets off his ass and frees Louis.

Louis goes feral and kills the coven. He’s convinced Armand was the one who saved him and wants revenge on Lestat.

He gets it in the only way he can: by going after his deepest fear. Lestat has handed him that weapon on a plate back in season 1 and it’s not the first time he goes after that particular soft spot.

Lestat feels guilty enough for both the 1x05 fall and Claudia to accept the punishment as due. He doesn’t tell Louis it was him who saved his life.

Louis traps himself in a 77 years long spite based relationship that he can’t leave without-in his head- letting Lestat win.

By 1973 he’s depressed enough and starved for connection enough to try the Interview and then walk into the sun.

Armand wipes his memories (probably consensually, extent uncertain) after calling Lestat - just to make sure Louis remembers why he can’t leave him.

Lestat thinks he died after he left him to Armand’s tender mercies. If he wasn’t in his rat-eating depression era before he surely is now.

By 2021 Louis has become, at least subconsciously, suspicious enough to contact Daniel for a second interview.

Daniel proves Louis really has an eye for spotting talent and gets him out of that farce of a marriage.

[nalyra-dreaming]

A question I've had ever since 2x06 came out is why Armand asked Rashid if they talked to anyone while at the restaurant. He suddenly blurts out the question right after he was called out for surely being able to read the coven's minds as they plotted which gives the impression that he caught a thought that betrayed Daniel's actions with Raglan. However, Assad has said in an interview that Armand has never read Daniel's mind while he was in Dubai which makes that answer pretty unlikely.

A follow-up thought/question to that is what was the reason Armand even cared about Daniel's actions outside of the penthouse? Was it out of fear of him being contacted by other parties such as the Talamasca? Or was it more out of concern for Daniel? I've never been able to discern the most plausible reason/explanation for all of this

For reasons that have not yet been explored (but hinted at being intentional) Armand does not read Daniel's mind.

As such, he has to turn to Rashid to get any answers - he probably senses something is off and tries to surprise Rashid there.

And I think Armand cared because... well, it's Daniel, for one. There's history. We don't know how much (yet) but I do think there's quite a lot, and intense.

And Armand is not stupid - he knows Daniel is a very, very good journalist. He has to intervene and direct the interview at various times. Assad said Armand was spinning the web the whole time, just readjusting the whole time, and for that he would obviously need to know... as much as he could.

For me it is only logical he would like to know everything so he can react accordingly.

[teecupangel]

Ah I worded that weirdly I meant that al mualim retired so he gets to spend time with Desmond and Desmond and Altaïr's child while Altaïr still has to work

The Desmond is reborn as Al Mualim’s daughter post and the “I misunderstood the ask so now Al Mualim has a wife oops” follow up idea for those curious.

It’s okay, nonny, my reading comprehension was shot that day as well XD

As an apology, please accept this little thing.

.

Her father was the strongest Assassin in history.

That wasn’t an exaggeration. Everyone agreed on that.

That was why he was almost always away, finishing mission after mission to ensure the safety and peace in Levant and all the neighboring lands the Brotherhood could help.

It was tiring work.

Eli would have wondered how her parents would have time to the two most annoying children in existence…

Eli’s younger brothers.

But she remembered how they looked at each other. The soft touches they had for each other and the whispers they would tell each other.

… Eli wished she didn’t remember those times when she had been too young to leave her parents’ arms so she wouldn’t have be forced to be a bystander in their physical and vocal displays of affections.

Eli wished she didn’t remember a lot of things.

Like Aita’s memories.

Aita was the kind of person the Brotherhood would assassinate.

His memories were nightmares that plagued Eli when she had been young, waking up in the middle of the night with tears in her eyes and walking towards her sleeping parents to cry in their arms.

As she grew older, she understood what she was.

What Aita was.

What Desmond bint-Rashid had done.

She was not meant to exist.

Some nights, that very truth would shake her to her very core.

“Can’t sleep, habibti?”

Eli glanced to her right as Altaïr sat next to her, their feet dangling from the tallest tower in Masyaf.

“Nightmare.” Eli answered truthfully, knowing her father would know if she lie anyway.

“I see.” Altaïr didn’t say anything else, knowing his child enough to know that any words would be unnecessary at this point.

Eli learned how to get used to her nightmares.

It never stopped them from being worried but their oldest daughter would simply grow irritated if they do anything else.

Instead, Altaïr said, “The training ring is empty right now.”

Eli hummed.

And they grew quiet once more.

A minute passed before Eli said, “One round?”

“Alright.” Altaïr patted her back before he stood, “Wooden swords only. First to disarm their opponent wins.”

Altaïr offered his hand to Eli and Eli nodded as she took his hand.

Even if her father was usually busy, he always made time for his children.

And that was why…

He was Eli’s secret favorite.

This is also connected to @fanworldbuildingfun’s reply

Consider this: Eli is still the sage of Aita and Aita is constantly torn between panicked screaming and reluctantly enjoying his new life

[free-for-all-fics]

So… while working on IWTV prompts, the s3 teaser made me feral. So with the help of my bestie, @une-lueur-dans-la-nuit we wrote this prompt that ended up being so much fun for us that it became almost like a miniseries! There will be 2 parts after this! Special thanks to her for providing the French! Pls tag me if you’re inspired by any of this and I’d love to read it! 🎸❤️🩸

“No, that's how billionaire vampires do it. How does your average Jo Mo vampire keep people like you in line? Unspoken threats?”

“The threat is always there. He could kill us both now. But he doesn't. They are peaceful beings.”

“They drain and disappear us.”

“They have a biological imperative that is in conflict with human morality. But what is that morality other than rules agreed upon?”

“Thank you, Rashid. A romantic answer to your question. The average vampire has minimal contact with humanity. When exposed, they feed or run or kill themselves. And I'd say we're multi-millionaires. Not quite a billion.”

“How do you hide from the Cloud?”

“Your cell phones make you slaves to your fetishes and data retrieval is primarily about profits, so I suspect no one at Amazon is trying to sell us blenders.”

“You kill, nightly.”

“And sometimes you've watched that kill on the local news. You've never been easier to distract. You're at the height of willful ignorance. We exploit it. This is, was… Lestat's prophetic vision.”

“Lestat de Lioncourt?”

“Yes.”

“I really gotta meet this guy […] To hear Louis tell it... Lestat becoming a vampire was a horror show.”

“That may be. But he made a remarkable recovery shortly thereafter. How else could you explain his hand feeding the audience? How words came out like canaries, summer fruit in the dead of winter. They were all in love with him. He had that effect on everyone. He...”

“Was a natural?”

“Entirely unnatural. Using the Dark Gift for what? His vanity? It was heresy.”

~

Part 1: Orientation

It’s modern day. Ever since you and your older brother, Lestat, became famous rockstars while performing as The Vampire Lestat, formerly Satan’s Night Out, you’ve both been very active on socials. You’ve been around since the 18th century and it’s amazing what modern technology is capable of! You used to have to wait weeks or months for a reply to a letter or telegram, or sit or stand still for hours to have your portraits painted, but now messaging is instant and you can share photos and thoughts with people all over the world. You and Lestat are almost internet addicts with how often you post and interact online. If you’re not performing, rehearsing, writing music, or doing interviews, press junkets, or promo shoots, you’re tapping away on your phones or laptops, always posting. You’ve quickly risen in the ranks of social media influencers and have been trending for months. Together you and Lestat maintain a popular vlog on both Instagram and YouTube where you frequently post all kinds of videos ranging from Get Ready With Me, Ask Me Anything, or just daily life vlogs.

You’re currently on tour, but are in need of some new hires since your and Lestat’s last personal assistants unexpectedly…quit…or were…terminated. They weren’t up to the bar of meeting your and Lestat’s expectations and standards. Since Lestat has far less patience than you and can’t be bothered, he’s left it up to you to interview and screen potential candidates for the Personal Assistant position. Usually he’d have a say and you’d have to come to a mutual agreement before hiring anyone new, but he’s sat through this process multiple times and trusts you to single-handedly make this decision by now. That, and he just wants to dump the work, problems, and responsibilities he doesn’t want to deal with onto somebody else as quickly as possible. So the sooner you find someone, the better.

“Next!”

“Good evening, Miss Lioncourt. My name is Juliette—”

“Well, yes. We’ll get to all that. Sit down. Don’t just stand there, lurking in the doorway and making the place look untidy. What are you doing here?”

“Well, I think I could do a good job as your and your brother’s assistant.”

You read her mind. “You don’t listen to The Vampire Lestat?”

“Uh, no.”

“And before today, you had never heard of me nor my brother.”

“No.”

“And you have no style or sense of fashion.”

“Well, um, I think that depends on what you’re—”

“No, no. That wasn’t a question. A shame you were late.”

“I'm not late, though? I’m fifteen minutes early.”

“What do you mean fifteen minutes early? Did no one ever tell you fifteen minutes early is the new late? Have you had any experience before in this kind of position?”

“I already sent in my CV. All my information should be there.”

“You sent your CV through? You know, I don’t really remember you. Let me have a look. You look very different from your CV. Mmm. Well, your skills and experience are…adequate, I would say. But first thing you should know is that this job is not for the faint of heart. Lestat is incredibly fussy with his PAs. More so than I am. During our time on tour, we have had over sixty PAs come through our doors and, for one reason or another, Lestat or I just…didn’t get on with them. And no one really has ever been as good as… Well, you don’t need to know their name as it’s irrelevant, but Lestat had a favorite Personal Assistant a long, long time ago, and he hasn’t quite gotten over their leaving. Ah, Lestat est si nostalgique (Ah, Lestat is so nostalgic). They were his very most favorite assistant, so you have some mighty big shoes to fill. I hope you know that. Mhm. Well, it doesn’t really matter how well you do your job or how efficient you are. If Lestat or I don’t like you, you’re out. If you disappoint Lestat or I, you’re out. And if me telling you this makes you think I’m high maintenance or a piece of work, you won’t be able to survive in this position.”

Juliette has a feeling your use of the word ‘survive’ in this context isn’t just a figure of speech. She swallows down her nerves.

“I am the patron saint of mercy and patience compared to my brother, so if you have any doubts about your abilities, there’s the door. Otherwise…bonne chance.” (Good luck.)

“I’ll try my best-”

“Now, our concert tonight isn’t for another two hours or so, so we have a little bit of time to go over everything. Apart from us, you’d be working closely with Christine as well, so let me get this straight with you off the bat. You and Christine would have totally different jobs. She’s our lawyer and is in charge of Lestat and I’s schedule, our appointments, and our finances. She gets to go with us to Paris for Fashion Week in the fall, she gets to go to all the shows, meet all the designers, go to all the parties, it’s divine. Christine is also a vampire like us, so don’t think you can do what she can do because, trust me, you can’t. You, as a human, on the other hand, well…you get ‘coffee’ and run errands. ‘Coffee’ is code for blood, in case you hadn’t figured that out. Now, also remember you must pick up our band mates’ and guests’ coffee orders as well. Our guests could be designers, clients, musicians, models, photographers…. Anybody from the fashion, musical, or vampire world, and you are expected to learn everyone’s ‘coffee’ order. Remember, for vampires, ‘coffee’ is blood, and for humans like our band mates, it’s, well…regular coffee. Starbucks, Caribou, Dunkin’ Donuts, wherever you prefer. Now, this does change from time to time, I will admit. For instance, Zakk Wylde used to take his coffee black but now he’s um, not even drinking caffeine anymore, so you’ll just have to keep up-to-date with all our guests and their companions or assistants will tell you what they prefer that given day. We have an internal system of all the orders of the ‘coffees’ and the beverages that everybody drinks so you’re expected to learn that. Now, our internal system has everything, everything that you could possibly ever want to know. ‘Coffee’ orders, all our social media accounts, all our files, all of our system data, so I’ll get you set up on that now.”

You type away at the computer, pulling up the appropriate screen.

“So can I just take your full name? This’ll become part of your username. Okay. And what password would you like? You can change this, obviously. And your date of birth.”

When Juliette tells you her DOB, you do a double take. “Mon Dieu (my god), you look older. Okay. And your social media handles. Your Instagram first. Facebook? And Twitter? Any other social media accounts? Okay. Let’s see.” You click the ‘save new user’ and ‘apply new changes’ buttons. “All right, done. Can I take your number and then this will get pinged over to your phone? Okay. Should be through now.”

Juliette’s phone pings with a new email.

“Got it? Perfect. So those are your login details.”

“Thank you, I might have some qu—”

“Now, Lestat’s and I’s ‘coffee’ orders are incredibly important. We expect our ‘coffee’ to be on our desks precisely when we wake up in the evening. If the ‘coffee’ is late or if it doesn’t arrive for any reason, Lestat and I - especially Lestat - get very upset. One assistant actually missed our ‘coffee’ order because of some, I don’t know, bus crash downtown or something like that, some lame excuse, and…well, we drank him instead. Drained him dry. We don’t often share since most humans faint from just one of us feeding on them. Sharing a human and drinking as much as needed to feel full and satiated before the heart stops would mean certain death for them. With cell phones and social media, it’s getting harder and harder these days to make a human disappear. But it’s not impossible. Now, don’t look so scared! You won’t have to do this every night. Sometimes Lestat and I prefer to hunt for ourselves like in the old days for nostalgia’s sake. You’ll be notified in advance if we decide to hunt ourselves. But if not, it’s up to you to keep us fed, and Lestat and I tend to be very picky eaters. A fresh young girl, that is his favorite food. But the triumphant kill for a sadist like Lestat is always a young man. Young men appeal to him in particular. They represent the greatest loss to Lestat, because they stood on the threshold of the maximum possibility of life. For me, I don’t mind a young woman while she’s on her monthly cycle. It reminds me of who I used to be and what I once had. But I prefer…what do you call them in English? Ah, yes. DILFs or MILFs. Men or women who seem to be doing well in life. They have more ‘taste’, like aged wine. Lestat likes to take away young men from all their possibilities, while I like to take what I’ll never have as well: A menstrual cycle, a pregnancy, Getting old, settling down…”

“Did you and Lestat…feed on pregnant women and children?” Juliette asks hesitantly, as if afraid the question might be offensive to you.

“We used to. Not anymore though. We’d feed on infants too if blood was scarce and we were especially desperate. They were so small, there wasn’t much blood in their bodies to drink before their tiny hearts stopped. It may seem especially heinous, but in the 18th century when we became vampires, medicine wasn’t what it is now and the mortality rates in women and children were already very high even before the Revolution. People would notice if too many men died or disappeared as they held the most power and societal influence, but nobody would bat an eye if it was a woman or a child. They’d write it off as another stillborn or another unfortunate victim who succumbed to a tragic and fatal accident or whatever disease was most prevalent at the time. We were beggars and couldn’t afford to be choosers in those days. But now, like I said, we are much more particular. We don’t feed on animal blood and we don’t like cold blood from blood bags. Even if it’s been heated up in the microwave and poured in a glass, it’s not the same as when it’s warm and flowing directly from a still-beating heart. We’ll only feed on blood bags or animal blood if we absolutely have to - for example, if we’re seriously wounded from sun exposure or major loss of blood. If we cannot consume high-quality blood, we might as well drink blood from Florida. That being said, I am sure there is still decent blood to drink in Florida. But I would bring a test kit anyway. But if you value your job and your life, you’ll find us each a human volunteer to feed from, preferably ones that match our specifications.”

“And where—”

“Yes, our ‘vampire victim’ preferences and sleep and feeding schedule will be noted on the internal system so pay very close attention to it. Use Tinder or other dating apps to find matches, if you must. We don’t care what you have to do to make it happen, you’ll get us our goddamn blood. And then, once we’re done, we’ll have a car waiting for our human volunteers so they can be taken home to sleep it off. The vampire’s kiss can be like an opiate, but their blood sugar tends to drop and they get very woozy afterwards. We’ve been doing really well so far. Our kill percentage has been decreasing lately with only one or two upward spikes here and there. We’d like to keep that going.”

“That’s quite a reli—”

“You are also expected to update our social media. Every. Single. Day. The social media schedule is on the internal system and you must adhere to it. Like biblical. Lestat and I are in charge of and personally manage our personal social media accounts, so you won’t have to worry about those, but you will be in charge of managing our business accounts, including our official page for our band. And we get very upset when our assistants don’t post to social media or they forget to post to social media or it’s not right. And you cannot just upload anything just willy-nilly. Lestat and I approve every social media post, so if it hasn’t been approved by either Lestat or I, then don’t upload it. Now, when we go to Paris in the fall for Fashion Week, you’re expected to double the amount of social media posts that you will already post as a minimum.”

“But the time difference…”

“What do you mean about time differences? Well, you’re not expected to sleep whilst Fashion Week is on. Qui dort pendant la Fashion Week, franchement? (Who sleeps during Fashion Week, seriously?) You’ll have to figure it out. Our photographers will be sending you the pictures that they take from all the shows and all the couture and all of that and you’re expected, once Lestat or I have approved them, to be uploading and retweeting and regraming around the clock. You’re also expected to filter out any derogatory comments or any sort of foul language that is on the social media pages. Yes, it’s pretty intense. What, you don’t think you’ll be able to do it? You’re also expected to take pictures that represent us on a daily basis and put those up on the Cloud for Lestat and I’s approval before posting.”

“Will I be provided a camera for this?”

“Yes, you’ll be given a camera that’s state of the art, top of the range that you’ll be expected to use. As I’m sure you know, Lestat and I also have our own fashion magazine - Veins & Vanity. Yup. It’s a bestseller. Even more popular than Daniel Molloy’s trashy novel about us.”

“Who’s Daniel Molloy?”

“What do you mean? You don’t know who Daniel Molloy is? Have you been living under a rock? Pas très maline, celle-là. (Not very smart, this one.) I don’t have time to explain it right now, but— As the new personal assistant, you’ll eventually be in charge of dropping off the book each night to our apartment. But Lestat and I are very private and we don’t like strangers in our house, so until we both decide you’re not a total psycho, Christine gets the lovely task of waiting around for the book. Let me show you an example.” You flip through a thick, spiral-bound book. “This is the book for this month. As you can see, it’s a mock-up of the newest edition of our magazine. This is usually assembled at 10 or 10:30 in the evening and you must wait around for it until then. A car will take you straight to our house and you let yourself in and you do not talk to anyone. Do not look at anyone. This is of the utmost importance. You must be invisible. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“So you open the door and you walk across the way, you hang our dry cleaning in our closets across from the staircase and you leave the book on the table with flowers. Do NOT go upstairs for any reason. That is the coffin room where Lestat and I sleep and it’s strictly prohibited to humans. We do not like our sleep to be disturbed. We are very light sleepers so if you try, we will hear your footsteps squeaking on the hardwood floors before you even make it halfway up the stairs. And when we’re tired, we’re not so kind. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good. You will quietly leave in the same car you arrive in. Then, in the morning, it will come back to you and be left on a desk - usually it’s Christine’s desk - and Lestat and I will leave notes, which are in blue and red sticky notes here. You will then drop it off at the Art Department where they can systematically go through Lestat’s and I’s notes and make changes. So, that is the book.”

You pause as realization dawns on you that Juliette has just been sitting there, listening to you but not typing or writing anything that you’ve said down.

“…Have you not been taking notes?” You rub your temples. “Oh my god, have I just been talking to myself this entire time?” You hold your hand up, stopping Juliette from attempting to explain herself. “No, don’t. I don’t care how good your memory is. Just…just…” You clench and unclench your fists in frustration, your nails digging into your palms.

Your cell phone rings.

“Look, let me take this phone call, you make notes, and…” You pick up the phone. “Y/N Lioncourt. Yes, hello, Christine. No. No, the Molloy interview is next week. …What time? Yes. I will let everybody know. Yes. Yes. Yes, take care, Christine. Salut, salut, salut.”

You hang up the phone.

“Okay. Something major has just happened. The Molloy interview, which was meant to be next week, has been moved to tonight at 2:30 after the concert. So people are panicking and my cell phone is going to be ringing off the hook. Les humains sont toujours si stressés.” (Humans are always so stressed out.)

You go into your recent calls and redial Christine’s number with a tap of your finger.

“Yes, Christine, me again. What time is the editor coming in? So we’ve got a little bit of time before the documentary crew arrives. Yes. Yes. Have you let Sophie know? Yes. And…yes. What about our jackets though? Lestat expressed he wanted to wear the chartreuse with the ostrich feathers… Oh, they’ve been dropped. Okay. That’s fine, I’ll make a note of that. Okay.”

You hang up but it isn’t even two minutes before your phone rings again.

“Y/N Lioncourt. Yes. I know, I know. Yes. Tonight 2:30. Yes. Yes. Can you remember to bring those belts as well? All right. Thank you.”

You hang up and focus your attention back on Juliette.

“Like I say, people are panicking. Now, you’re expected to note down everything that Lestat or I do and don’t like. Now, Lestat, if he likes it, he’ll nod his head once. If he nods twice, he really, really likes it. And if he shakes his head, he doesn’t like it, and if he purses his lips…disaster. I think there was only two records of a smile. And that was for Louis Vuitton way back in 1858 and Yves Saint Laurent in 1966. So you’ve got everything now? Well, there’s no time to explain anymore, this Molloy interview business is really…”

Your phone buzzes repeatedly, something that only happens if given an emergency call or alert.

“getting…out of hand… This isn’t good. Y/N Lioncourt. You’re joking. How long? Yes. I’ll let everyone know. Merde!”

Your fingers rapidly type a quick message to send out in a group text before you dial a number.

“This is not good. This is not good. Mia, it’s me. Lestat is coming in twenty minutes! Yes, I know he’s early! Can you let Sophie and the team know? Well, I can’t do it because I’m babysitting this new PA. Please, Mia. I’ll let you have my Prada bag. Thank you, Mia. Yes, salut.”

You hang up again and nearly jump out of your skin when you glance over and see Juliette still sitting in front of your desk.

“Oh my god, I totally forgot you were still here! That’s crazy. Yeah, sorry, babes. My peripheral vision is kind of selective. Like if my eyes get the vibe something is boring they just won’t tell my brain about it, you know what I mean? Yeah, that’s why I failed my driver’s test eight times. At a four way stop if the other drivers seem ugly, they’re basically invisible to me. All right. Lestat is coming in early, and he’s going to be here in twenty minutes, which means we need to get you ready because I can’t possibly let you in to see Lestat looking like that. Did you even look at yourself before you got dressed this morning? I don’t understand why you look like you rolled out of bed or something. Like you just said, ‘oh my god, I’m late, let me just go to work.’ Look, you can always be two minutes late in life. Nobody’s gonna tell you nothing if you’re two minutes late. You could put on a nicer top. It doesn’t take five years to find a nicer top and get out of your pajamas. I don’t know. Maybe it’s something like your culture. I’ve seen a lot of people on the streets just walking around in pajamas, going into the store to get something. So maybe it’s a cultural thing. Maybe the less attractive you look, the better your chance to find a mate or something? I don’t understand this dynamic, but I’m learning. Don’t worry, don’t worry. Calm, calm, calm. Les humains, vraiment tous pareils. (Humans, really all the same.) I’ll fix this. Right. What size are you?”

“Six.”

“Well, that will have to change if you want to continue working here. Four is the new six, you know. All right. I’ll see what I have available but… I can’t promise anything. What size shoe are you?” You get up from your desk and pace around before going into another room.

Juliette can hear you mumbling to yourself, “Everything is just everywhere! Danielle, have you got those, um, Prada pumps?” before you come back shortly with a pair of heels in your hand and a dress draped over your arm. “All right. This is all I could find in your size unfortunately. So I got you some nice heels here. They’re beige. They’re last season, but beggars can’t be choosers, right? Heels are a must. I don’t want to catch you in loafers or, god forbid, sneakers. So heels must be worn at all times.”

You lift a backpack and hold it up precariously by pinching your thumb and index finger together on the top loop, as if you don’t want to touch it at all. You look at Juliette. “What is this? Is this your bag? Oof. It’s hideous. Elle n’a donc vraiment aucun goût! (So she really doesn’t have any good taste!) Don’t let Lestat see you with that. Absolutely hideous. And I got you this Gucci dress. And…well, that’s all I could find for you.” You hand her the heels and dress. “Now, look, go and get changed.”

“Here?”

“Well, yes, here! We don’t have time for you to go wandering around the building.”

“But the walls are glass! Anyone could walk by and see me in my underwear!”

“Well, it doesn’t matter! We’ve had so many naked women and men in this office, more than an adult film sometimes. Now, come on, get on with it, I don't have time for this!”

Your phone rings again.

“Y/N Lioncourt. Yes, he’s coming in twenty minutes. Well, probably less than that now. Yes. You’ll need to send somebody out for ‘coffee’. Well, yes. This new PA is just a nightmare. You can get Jack to go? Yes, that’ll be great.”

You hang up again. You turn back to look at Juliette, now dressed in what you gave her.

“Are you done? Let me have a look. Well, that doesn’t go like that and let me just pull that down for you there. Seriously, do you even know how to dress yourself? That will do. It’s a little bit tight but…what about shoes? Good? All right. Let me have a look at your hair. Oh. We don’t have time for this. We really, really don’t. It looks like you’ve just stepped off the subway.”

“Well, yeah…”

“Why on earth did you take the subway? You can get a cab. Elle doit être tellement pauvre pour prendre le métro. (She has to be so poor if she is taking the subway.) Don’t worry. Let me just look at you. So, yeah, first priority is gonna be how you smell because I’m going to have to experience that the entire time I’m working on you and currently these are inhumane working conditions.”

“Do I really smell that bad?”

“Yeah, you smell like a gymnasium. Don’t worry, babes, we’ll take care of that. We’re gonna douse you in Cloud, everyone loves it. Yeah, it’s a universal favorite. It will make you smell like you’ve been in a bubble bath your entire life up until this very moment. I got enough Cloud to make a crowd scatter.” You spritz the perfume all around Juliette.

“Ouch!” She blinks and rubs at her eyes.

“I got it in your eyes? Close them. Oh my god, so much better already. Next up is your hair. Oh my gosh, I love your hair! Um, is it okay if I touch it?”

“Sure?”

“Cool, thanks. It’s so pretty. It’s so soft. It’s gorgeous. I like this color for you. It’s very nice, very good.”

“Thank—”

“But…uh…” You rub her hair between your pointer finger, middle finger, and thumb. “Oh, it’s very dry. Oh my god, it’s very dry! It’s not healthy at all! Can I tell you that? It’s not at all healthy. Do you use any product on it? Do you use anything to help it? Like some kind of oils or cream? Something?”

“Not really?”

“So like…what kind of products do you use on your hair usually?”

“Pantene.”

“Pantene? Babe, you might as well be using Nair. What the hell? It’s very straight. You must use a straightener like every day. Yeah. And yet it’s so frizzy somehow. I hate frizzy hair and yours is kind of hay-like. C’est comme de la paille. (It’s like straw.) Like a frail piece of straw that’ll break from a gust of wind. It’s not good. How many times do you try to straighten your hair? Okay, I’m just asking because the more I touch it the worse it gets. Look at it, it’s so thin. It’s so thin. I feel like if I touch it too much, it’s going to snap. It’s going to snap.” You curl a strand that falls out around your pointer fingers and pull. “It makes a sound too! It sounds like plastic. Look at that! It’s plastic.” You let it fall away and shake off your fingers. “It’s quite disgusting in my opinion. No offense.”

“But you just said—”

“I know what I said. I thought I liked it, but it doesn’t look very good up close. It’s like one of those abstract paintings. From afar, it makes sense and I can see the picture, but when I come close to it, it’s like…why don’t I understand where the paint strokes are going? I don’t understand this. What is happening here? Like from afar, it looks very nice, you look very good, very put together. But then when I come close, your hair looks like trash. And when I touch the texture of your hair, it feels like it will break. Lestat and I have curly hair too, so no hate towards curly hair, but this is…interesting. I don’t know…”

“Do you use anything on your hair to get it so curly?”

“No, ours is natural. Yeah. In our family a lot of us had blonde and/or curly hair and we didn’t dye it or perm it or use heat on it. Yeah, if you watch him closely, you’ll notice Lestat’s hair is like bleachy blond. It’s so light that sometimes it appears white under fluorescent lights. He takes after our mother, Gabrielle. Lestat and I’s hair is all natural and we don’t have to use anything on it. It just dries curly. That’s why it’s so healthy. Oui, nous avons de la chance. (Yes, we are so lucky.) That’s why Lestat’s grew past his shoulders and mine grew nearly to my butt by the time we were changed. We cut it and it just grows back the same way. Yeah. That’s why we have a lot of it. Lestat and I actually did each other’s hair today. Yeah, he did my hair for me so it’s like perfect today and I just don’t want anyone to touch it. But yours is like…very thin. So thin. And the amount of frizz and hair damage you have is ridiculous, even though you definitely don’t dye it or style it or anything whatsoever. So how you managed to get it looking this bad…honestly, an enigma. It’s really disturbing actually. Have you ever thought about dying it? Yeah, ‘cause the closer I look at the color of your hair, it’s very…off. Yeah, the… What do you call this color? Strawberry blonde?”

“Yes, it’s—”

“The strawberry blonde moment is just not doing it for you. I don’t like it. Again I use the analogy of the painting because, from afar, it looks good, but, up close, it looks like ramen noodles. I don’t know how to explain it. Do you know what I mean? Non, elle ne doit pas comprendre. (No, she can’t understand.) Like ramen noodles in the box and you put it in the hot water. And it’s yellow and hard. That’s what…yeah. I don’t know. I just think of you as more of a soft caramel color. Especially a little bit lighter at the ends I think would look really good later down the road. Well, for now, I think you have to just cut it all off. Just go short and start over. I feel like a lot of split ends are here. Yeah, you have a lot of split ends, oh my god. You’re full of them. Just take it all off and stop using heat on it. Just stop it all. Don’t do anything anymore to it. Just don’t touch it. Don’t touch it anymore. Do you ever go to a hairdresser to cut your hair?”

“Of c-”

“You know what? I’m gonna hook you up with my stylist, Celeste. Yeah, she’s amazing with hair. She does mine and Lestat’s and she’s just amazing. I think you’re gonna love it. I think just a little bit of layering because you’re very much all one length here. Yeah, that was like so…2005. Yeah, you gotta change it up a little. Put some layers in and I think it’s gonna look really good. Some nice face framing layers and, like I said, a nice caramel color. Like a chocolate at the top and, as it goes down, it gets lighter and lighter. We’ll go to Celeste and you don’t talk to her. Let me talk and I’ll tell her what to do because this is, in my opinion, unacceptable. I don’t understand why you wanna keep it this way. Elle est donc aveugle. (So she is blind.) Do you like it like that? Do you like it looking frizzy and breaking? Because if you like it like that, you just keep it, you know I don’t care. It’s really none of my business what you wanna do with your hair. It’s just not a good impression in my opinion.”

“No, no, I ca—”

“No offense, but it looks like you really don’t take care of yourself at all. It just gives a wrong impression like you don’t care about yourself and when you have that impression like, ‘I don’t care about myself’ and you go out like, ‘I don’t care about myself, so why should I care about other people.’ Do you understand? So I think this is something that you need to work on. Because I don’t like when people just look like they don’t really care about anything. Because it’s like, then why are you even here? Why are you here if you don’t care about anything at all? Do you know what I mean? If you don’t care, just go live on a mountain or something. Don’t come and live in society because there’s certain standards that we want and have to uphold. And this is not it. This is not it. You use your hair as a safety net but it’s not gonna save you from a bullet or a train, so it’s not really a safety net. So for today, I have the lovely challenge of making your chemically damaged hair look passable for Lestat. Yikes! I really don’t even know where to begin. Just kidding! Yes, I do! We’re gonna start with detangling spray. A nice spritz of this is gonna make all of those millions and billions of little tangles so much easier to manage. Close your eyes this time, okay? Perfect. I love this detangling spray so much. The tangles are working out like butter. Brush, brush, brush it all out. Brush, brush, brush it all out. The next step is gonna be this hair oil. Thick and full, Biotin and Collagen weightless oil mix. It’s got vitamin B7, Biotin, Collagen, hydrolyzed protein. All kinds of goods that your pathetic little strands have never seen in their lives. This is gonna make your hair look so silky and healthy instead of thirsty and tragic. Gonna work that through. As far as the style - Oh, god. What if we just like, grab a stand from either side and clip them together in the back? That can be pretty foolproof. I think I’ve got a clip over here. Yeah, this’ll be cute on you. Let me grab a strand from the right side of your face. Little bigger than that. Grab a strand from the left side of your face and then meet them together in the back, grab that clip and clip those together. Oh my gosh, so much better already, but still a ways to go. On progresse, on progresse. (We make progress, we make progress.) Then there’s your makeup. It’s not doing you any favors. Like really bland. Wait - are you even wearing any makeup?”

“No…”

“No?” You gasp. “Nothing at all? Oh, wow! Okay.” You interlace your fingers together in contemplation. “You’re actually pretty cute - in like a weird kind of way - like an armadillo! But yeah, cute. Okay. This has me rethinking everything. I thought we were starting from an entirely different place. If this is the blank slate we’re working with, there’s actually hope! We can get you to like a solid…6.5. I’m serious! But it’s gonna take hard work to get there. Blood, sweat, and tears, babe. But it’ll be worth it. I’m gonna pull out all my best tricks. Have you ever taken care of your skin? It looks just…dull…but I think I can bring it to life because, even though it is dull, it also has this perfection to it that not many have. This is good. This is good.”

You pat Juliette’s skin with cleansing pads.

“I’m going to use products from Lestat’s and I’s makeup brand. It’s called Bloodlust. I’m just trying to cover up some of the imperfections so that when I style you next time, I can have a better idea of what the final product is going to be. First we’re gonna moisturize you up nice and good because your skin texture is like asphalt. Let me grab a beauty blender. Hydrating your skin, giving it that gorgeous, gorgeous glow it desperately needs. Making sure that the foundation is gonna have a nice surface to stick to. Wow, your skin is seriously drinking this up, it’s so dry. Have you like, ever moisturized before in your life? You’re like a freak of nature. No offense. Les humains peuvent être des créatures si étranges de nos jours. (Humans can be such strange creatures nowadays.) ‘Kay. Now we’re gonna plop on the foundation with that same beauty blender. Just layering on more and more and more and more and more until we cannot see even a single pore of your actual skin anymore because it’s giving very much Nosferatu. And now, thanks to me, it’s giving very much Malibu! Let’s pick the perfect blush shade for you. Let me get a closer look at your skin, actually. Okay, so even with the foundation on, I can still tell that you’re working with a pretty warm undertone here. So we want something pretty and peachy rather than like a pastel pink. Got it! I know just the one! Blending that over your cheeks. Oh yeah, it’s bringing some life into your face in a big way. C’est pas encore ça, mais c’est déjà mieux!” (We’re not done yet, but it’s already better!)

You open your eyeshadow palette. “For your eyes we’re gonna do something kind of light because your eyes are actually one of your nicest features.”

“Thank you?”

“Yeah, so we want to highlight them, not hide them. Let’s take this nice bronze and just do like a nice subtle wash through the outer corner into the crease. Do you even know what eyeshadow is? Ridiculous. Just add a bit of depth and sparkle and let’s pick up a highlight color and dip that in your inner corners. And then a touch more sparkle in the middle. Now we’re getting somewhere. Next is the mascara. Just a little tip from me to you: Mascara is the most important step of makeup. I swear even if you don’t have time to do anything else, mascara is the one thing you cannot skip. Like if I was human and saw a bear lunging towards me, I’d take the time between then and my mauling to apply a fresh coat. If that gives you any idea of the importance. Never, ever, ever let me catch you outside of your house without mascara.”

“I don’t really—”

“Like even if you go to the gym, I want you to wear that because you can’t just like, be associated with me or my brother if you’re gonna look like you just rolled out of the trash, you know what I mean? The most important thing to remember about this job is that you must look impeccable at all times. Your hair, your makeup…flawless all the time. Lestat and I get very upset if we see people looking drab or unkempt or unmade up. So you must look good at all times. Just blink when I say. Wow, cute. Can you look up for me? Oh and, next time, we have to do something about your eyebrows ‘cause they’re just all over the place. Yeah they’re just a little bit too bushy for my tastes personally but if you like looking like an orangutan, that’s fine. It’s up to you. Oh yeah, I could totally bring you to my esthetician. Or I could just do them for you like I’m such a pro. When I was human, I did Lestat’s, I did my mother’s. I do it for my human band mates and friends. J’espère qu’elle ne croit pas que nous allons devenir amies.” (I hope she doesn’t believe we’ll become friends.)

You check your phone.

“Well. We’re out of time, so this is as good as it’s going to get. It’s showtime. Stay after the concert and I’ll introduce you to Lestat before the Molloy interview. Don’t worry, I won’t let him bite or kill you on your first day.”

Unseen, Juliette watches the entire show from the sidelines. Your set exceeds the usual 45 minutes or hour most concerts are, on account of you and Lestat deciding to play at least three encores. After the concert, Juliette is waiting for you in the hallway that connects the main stage with the backstage area. Finally you exit, your bass slung over your back and Lestat beside you, your human bandmates somewhere else, probably the bar. Your hair and makeup are still flawless since, as vampires, you don’t sweat. Having slipped out of the Prada heels for comfort’s sake, she had been casually leaning against the wall for the duration of the show since nobody would notice her in the dark. But she straightens up from her slouched position immediately, quickly slipping back into the heels and smoothing out her hair and the dress you loaned her before either you or Lestat can notice as you meet her offstage. Phew. That was close.

“Mr. Lioncourt,” Juliette says, using every muscle in her body to speak up with conviction and not shake or twitch from anxiety in his presence. Although you promised you’d protect her today, that protection may expire eventually. She knows that you and Lestat hate weakness, and she cannot show it in his or your presence if she hopes to keep this job.

“Yes? Can I help you?” With his arm slung around your shoulders lazily, he furrows his brow. Arching it questioningly, he barely makes eye contact with her and instead focuses his attention on you, as if waiting for an explanation as to why this human has been allowed backstage, is standing in front of him and you, and is addressing him.

“Well… I’m Juliette, your new assistant. Ms. Lioncourt hired me earlier this evening,” Juliette explains.

“You’re the new PA? You’ve got to be joking.” While keeping an eye on Juliette, he turns his head halfway to whisper in your ear, “Ma soeur, avons-nous eu si peu de candidats qu’il a fallu que tu choisisses celle-là?” (Sister, did we get so few of candidates that you had to pick this one?)

“I’m sorry if I’m not what you were expecting but… Mr. Lioncourt, I need to tell you that I absolutely love your yellow jacket. The bird feathers are a nice touch. Very stylish. Very you.”

“Are you colorblind? It’s not yellow, it’s chartreuse. And they’re not just bird feathers, they’re ostrich feathers.”

“Are they real?”

“Do you know anything about fashion?”

“I wouldn’t—” Juliette catches your warning glance. “Yes, of course I do.”

“Then you know that, of course, they’re real. I only wear clothes made out of genuine leather and fur because I’m all about being genuine in my music and my personal life and I want what I feel on the inside to reflect on the outside. Many animals had to die, but that’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make if it’s for the noble cause of making me look this good.”

“Do you wear clothing made from endangered species too?”

“Sometimes. My sister and I both still have articles that were made from now extinct species too. But we were around long before those species ever became endangered or extinct. The failure of your kind to preserve and protect your environment is not our fault nor our problem. Enough chit chat. Onto the main issue: Let me have a look at you. Turn.”

Juliette turns in a circle very quickly.

“No. Slower.”

Juliette turns in a circle again, this time much slower than before.

Lestat scoffs in annoyance at her inability to follow clear directions. “Just stay still.” He leaves your side to walk in a circle around Juliette, looking her up and down with his hand on his chin, his fingers moving over his mouth occasionally. He doesn’t look away from her as he switches to French, once again talking about her as if she isn’t there. He clicks his tongue, as if tsk, tsk, tsking. “Vraiment, ma soeur? C’est tout ce que tu as trouvé? Elle ne sera jamais à la hauteur. Son visage passe encore, mais il va falloir qu’elle apprenne à s’habiller et se coiffer dignement.” (Really, sister? Is it all you have been able to find? She’ll never be good enough. Her face is okayish, but she will have to learn how to dress and do her hair with dignity.)

He switches back to English. “Well. Juliette, is it? I hope you know you are very lucky to get this position. Anyone would kill to be standing where you’re standing right now. We had over one hundred applicants for this position and, trust me, it was not easy whittling them down, I must say. If it were up to me, you wouldn’t be here. I always hire the same boy or girl…stylish, slender, of course…worships us and the band. But so often, they’ve turned out to be…I don’t know…disappointing and, um…stupid. So you, who probably has an impressive resume and made a big speech about your so-called work ethic… my sister must think you’ll be different. And since I left her in charge of hiring the new PA this time around, I guess I’ll just have to live with her decision.” Lestat then looks at you and waves you both off. "Vas-y, ma soeur. Prends le risque. Embauche la grosse intello.” (Go ahead, Sister. Take a chance. Hire the smart, fat girl.)

On the other side of the large and thick industrial double doors, you and Lestat, thanks to your super hearing, can hear Daniel and the documentary crew talking, clearly growing impatient.

“The car’s been on the lot for hours, man.”

“Hey, look, if you want, I can have somebody knock on the window.”

“I, uh…I think they…”

“What? What? You think what?”

“I think they’re entertaining somebody right now,” someone says, pointing out that he saw you and Lestat earlier, and Lestat had bite marks and hickeys on his chest while you had a new girl next to you.

“Do we have insurance for homicide?”

“You know what, we had three deaths on the Banger Sisters, don't worry about it.”

You and Lestat push open the doors and make your entrance.

“That's them. Jesus Christ, look at them,” Daniel says in awe.

You gesture with your arm for Juliette to not follow you and to instead wait on the sidelines with the rest of the human crew while you and Lestat walk to the matching black leather chairs waiting for you.

“Okay, let's go. Mr. and Ms. Lioncourt, hi. Mark Johnson. I'm the executive producer. We’ve talked on the phone a couple of times.”

“We're really excited about the...documentary...” Daniel trails off awkwardly.

You and Lestat leave Mark hanging, not making any attempt to shake his hand. You can smell that he didn’t properly wash his hands and instead just used hand sanitizer. Disgusting. Is basic hygiene really a lost art among humans? You stare at him blankly, as if bored already from listening to him speak.

“Je ne me souviens pas de lui, est-ce que tu te souviens de lui, ma soeur?” (I don't remember him. Do you remember him, Sister?)

“No. Usually I have a memory like a steel trap but we talk to so many people every day, and, clearly, this human didn’t leave much of an impression or impact. Comme la plupart d’entre eux malheureusement.” (Like the majority of them, unfortunately.)

“…Okay.” Mark awkwardly puts his arm back down.

“Hey, man. Thanks for the tickets last night. Great show,” Daniel praises. His deadpan voice leaves you unsure if he’s being sincere or sarcastic.

“You have 45 minutes and they’re gone.”

“Who the fuck are you?”

“This is Christine Claire, Mr. And Ms. Lioncourt's lawyer.”

“Hair and makeup now.”

“Hi, I'm Tami—”

“Hi, I’m Sarah—”

You and Lestat both look up and pull your heads back so their makeup brushes and hands don’t touch your faces or hair. Lestat’s hair is already giving Michael Hutchence, while yours is giving Patricia Morrison. And your makeup, like your outfits, is already on point. You don’t need assistance when you’ve already achieved perfection, thank you very much.

“Do we look like we need you?”

Both makeup artists pause for a second and then retreat.

“They’re completely booked. No. Don’t even talk to me about it again for the next two months. They’re both booked.”

Lestat looks to his right. His shoulders slump as he deeply exhales and irritably taps his fingers on the armrest of the chair. He smacks his lips. “…There's a goblet on the table.”

“You don't like the goblet? Can we get rid of the goblet, please?” Daniel asks the crew.

“C'est tellement kitsch," (It’s so tacky) you say so only Lestat will understand.

"C'est de mauvais goût,” (It’s bad taste) Lestat concours.

A crew member takes the goblet away. Now that that cheap Party City Halloween decoration is gone, you can get on with it.

“Thank you. We need to wire you both for sound, I hope you don't mind.”

You and Lestat shrug.

“So the camera we're gonna be using is called an Interrotron. I'll be sitting here. You'll see my face in the camera like, uh, like we're talking to each other, and you don't have to just stare into an empty camera lens,” Daniel explains.

You and Lestat allow yourselves to be mic’d, but when the humans invade your personal space to put the microphones on your clothes, your vampire hearing can detect the fluid, or lack thereof, coursing through their bodies. You don’t have a problem with the person assisting you, but Lestat recoils in disgust, crinkling his nose. “Your sound man is dehydrated.”

“We’ll, uh, okay, we'll get him some water. Get him some water please.”

“Je ne te savais pas si attentionné avec les humains, Lestat. Cela me rendrait presque jalouse.” (I didn’t know you were so considerate of humans, Lestat. It almost makes me jealous.)

“Tu sais bien qu’ils ne m’intéressent pas, ma soeur.” (You know very well that I don’t care about them, sister.)

“All right, let's fucking go, people.”

“43 minutes.“

“Shut her the fuck up,” Daniel grumbles.

“We’re rolling! Quiet on set!”

“Take one, take one. And…action! Okay, we're gonna start. Listen, could you state your names for the camera?”

You and Lestat look up from the two copies of Daniel’s book you were leafing through.

“Justin Bieber.”

“Kylie Jenner.”

You and Lestat close your copies of Daniel’s book and place them on your laps, tapping your fingers against the hardcover, subtly nodding your heads.

“I see you have my book there, what do you think of...” Daniel starts retching. “I'm sorry. Excuse me… Give me a second here.”

“Daniel, are you okay?”

With your pointer fingers arched up, you and Lestat listen to Daniel’s retching as if it’s music to your ears. That should be answer enough for him to know what you and Lestat think of his book. The retching and the voices of the crew become background noise.

“I am the Vampire Lestat.”

“I am the Vampire Y/N.”

“Why are we retching?”

“We’re immortal.”

“I'm not doing it. It’s them,” Christine whispers.

“More or less.”

More retching.

“The light of the sun.”

“Can somebody get a glass of water?”

“The sustained heat of an intense fire. These things might destroy us. But then again, they might not.”

~

Take two.

Your eyes flicker back and forth between the camera and Daniel in front of you and J. Feldman, the first cameraman standing off to the side with the crew. The rest of the human crew either don’t see what you see, or they do and they’re just pretending to be oblivious. To be fair, you didn’t notice it during the first take either. But now that you’ve seen it, you can't unsee it. Not wanting to make a scene, you try to ignore him, but you’re obviously distracted. Lestat is the first to pick up on it, and he discreetly looks in the direction where your eyes are flickering to, but he doesn’t see what you see. If he did, there’d be a bloodbath to mop up. You make eye contact with Daniel and try to focus on finishing answering his question. “But...let's just say we, uh...we-we did a lot of writing. This is just, um...really just, uh… It's so special to be in Santa Carla, California - The Murder Capital of the World - again! The lights, the music, the energy, the people - It’s easily been my favorite venue spot so far on any tour. It surpassed our concert in Death Valley for me, which, before now, I thought was an impossible feat. Hmm.” Fuck it, you think to yourself. Your team and Daniel will just have to be okay with doing yet another reshoot.

“Ma soeur, est-ce que tout va bien?” (Sister, is everything all right?)

“Uh, I'm sorry, Feldman, what the fuck is that?” You ask bluntly, your tone laced with a bite to it as you stand up from your seat and lock eyes with the first cameraman. Everyone around him steps to the side, creating space between themselves and him in case shit is about to hit the fan or something is about to go down.

“What?” He furrows his brows in confusion when he looks at you, like a deer caught in headlights. Too scared that you’ll pounce on him like a wolf and latch your fangs into his jugular if he fully looks away from you for even half a second, he frantically glances from the corners of his eyes at either side of him, and sees from his peripheral vision that everyone has put a great deal of distance between himself and you. They are looking at the two of you with fear and apprehension in their eyes.

“What do you mean ‘what?’ That shitstain of a tattoo on your forearm. What the fuck do you have written there? ‘Armand told the truth’?”

Hearing those words, Lestat jumps up from his seat before the cameraman can blink. Lestat agreed to this documentary because he took issue with his portrayal in the book and wanted to set the record straight. Not because he wanted to invalidate everything Louis said but because when he read Interview with the Vampire, he was like, ‘ARMAND SAID I DID WHAT???’ and was angrily ripping out pages from his copy. He was annoyed with Armand's version of him and not Louis's (though you’re sure he doesn't agree with everything Louis said either.) Now this poor cameraman has two angry vampires standing on either side of him. You in front of him, and Lestat behind him. Just as enraged as you, Lestat is seething, his pupils just as dilated as yours. You haven’t seen him this angry since an incident during your tour in Death Valley.

~

You and Lestat pulled up to the auditorium in your shiny Porsche, dressed to the nines and exuding an air of money and status, ready to perform, but the security guy wouldn’t let you through at the gate. And Lestat was getting furious. The guy was like, ‘sir, miss, I can’t find your names on the list,’ and Lestat was steaming red because his ego was bruised. He’s a legend. Everyone knows his name. Anywhere Lestat goes, people flock to him, asking for selfies and autographs. He should be on the goddamn list. And even if he isn’t, he should be allowed through anyway because he’s Lestat fucking de Lioncourt. He’s a vampire aristocrat and rockstar, nowhere is inaccessible to him. He was really mad and was like, ‘why do you need my name?!’ so finally the guy was like, ‘sir, how do you spell your name?’ And Lestat went, ‘F-a-m-o-u-s!’ and then just hit the gas, breaking the barricade. It turned out the security guard couldn’t find your names on the list due to a spelling error, and Lestat’s name was listed as ‘Lesander Lionsourd’ (Lionsourd meaning deaflion).

~

His anger now is that times a billion. He is ready to tear out J. Feldman’s throat or rip his arms off. You make eye contact with Lestat and subtly shake your head at him. If you were anybody else, he’d ignore you and just go ahead and decapitate the man. He lived by the motto of ‘don’t ask for permission, ask forgiveness later.’ But for you, and only for you, he’ll be patient. Not just because you’re his sister and he loves you, but because he understands that you signaling for him to wait doesn’t mean you’ll show mercy. You don’t want this man dead. Yet. You want answers first.

“Are you fucking kidding me? Do you think that because we were born French on our father’s side and Italian on our mother’s that we can’t read English? Who tattooed that on you?” You ask.

“Uh, Joel Emerson, I think.”

“You think? Where does he tattoo?”

“O-over at Inkspire in L.A.”

“Christine, get that tattoo shop on the phone. And if Joel’s not working today, find his personal cell phone and call that.”

Christine quickly Googles the shop and dials their phone number. She hands her phone to you while it’s ringing. You hold it to your ear while glaring daggers at the soon-to-be former first cameraman.

“Hello, is Joel working today? I’d like to talk to him. I don’t care that he’s with a client right now. Tell him to put his machine down and come to the phone. It’s urgent. This is Y/N Lioncourt. Yeah, I thought so. Thank you. Joel, why? You fucking asshole. How could you agree to tattoo that on someone? I don’t care. I don’t care about ‘consenting adult clients’ and ‘it’s their money and their body, so they can get whatever they want’. I’m going to police people’s bodies if they’re going to do stupid shit like this! Because this is offensive and unacceptable to Lestat and I! You have no fucking idea who Armand is or what he’s done. You and every other human on the planet don’t even know half of it. You weren’t there because you weren’t even fucking born, so you can’t know! You can’t even begin to comprehend what the 18th and subsequent centuries were like. He’s a fucking cult leader, for fuck’s sake. Did you know that? Have you tattooed anything else relating to Armand on anybody else? No? What about the other artists in your shop? No? Are you sure? You better not be lying to me because if I look on your and your coworkers’ Instagrams and see another tattoo showing love or support of Armand, whether it’s his face, his name, or any more of that ‘Armand was right, Armand told the truth’ bullshit, I will get our lawyers involved and they will eviscerate you in court and take your shop and your tattoo license from you. I will not hesitate to do the same with other tattoo artists and tattoo shops. And don’t think deleting posts will save your ass. The internet is forever and my lawyer will use the Wayback Machine or find some other way to dig up those photos even if you delete them. Understand? Good. You won’t be hearing from me, Lestat, or our legal team so long as there won’t be any further issues. Have a good rest of your day. Bye.” You give Christine her phone back and she’s already typing away, working on keeping tabs on Inkspire and any other tattoo shop in the state for damage control.

“Uh...”

“And you! You amateur fuck. You’re fired.”

“What?”

“You heard me. There’s obviously a conflict of interest here, so you can pack up your shit and go. I want you to leave.”

“The building?”

“No, not just the building. I want you to leave the state.”

“I can’t just move to a different state! My friends, my family, and my entire life is here!”

“That’s not my problem. You should’ve thought of that before permanently scarring your body with a steaming pile of shit. I hope, for your sake, you either get it lasered off or covered up with a better tattoo. Then maybe, just maybe, you can move back. I am being lenient by letting you off with a warning and letting you walk away with your life. If either I or Lestat see you again and that still isn’t gone or covered, then we won’t be. I’m going to chop your fucking arm off with Lestat’s tiny pocket axe. I’m the more merciful of the Lioncourts, so it’ll feel like a massage compared to what Lestat will do to you. Go. Now.”

He runs away crying with his tail between his legs, urine running down his pant legs. You and Lestat scrunch up your nose at the foul odor. Disgusting. He’s lucky he didn’t get any of it on your Chanel boots or Lestat’s Christian Louboutin’s. Although you can afford it, it’d be a shame to ruin such expensive and stylish designer outfits with blood, guts and sinew. While there are frantic calls for a cleanup and reset, you and Lestat storm off to your dressing room, uncaring that you’re leaving Daniel behind, unsure on what to do or if there’ll even be an interview tonight. You pace back and forth in there, trying to get your breathing back under control. Once your eyes return to normal, you text Juliette that she doesn’t need to worry about picking up dinner. You and Lestat will get it yourselves. You could use the air and will be back in an hour. Lestat and you send Christine a similar text, telling her you’ll still do the Molloy interview, but you’re going out to feed and won’t be back for an hour. You both need to cool off and blow off some steam by going on a hunt. You both need a fucking meal before going back in there to attempt the interview again. Now would be a good time for Daniel and the crew to break for lunch. In the meantime, she should find another cameraman to replace Feldman. You and Lestat change into more “casual” clothes that you don’t care about getting messy. “Casual” for you meaning “old” designer clothes from last season.

[loustat-0]

While I admit I am biased because I love Loustat and Daniel/Armand first and foremost, I am trying not to be negative towards Loumand (which I don't like very much in the books) and appreciate its role in the story, but the Loumand shippers (the ones that have popped up since S1 anyway) are making it difficult and I find them exhausting. I feel like so much of the extreme Lestat hate and takes like Daniel is too old to be a love interest or become a vampire seem to be coming from that corner along with other things. I also can't believe they actually like book Armand considering the way they feel about Lestat. I can't believe they would like any of the characters to be honest.

Hi anon . First of all I need to say I'm not a TVC expert I watched the show first & then read some of the books selectively 😅so I hope what I answer makes sense . 💜

Okay so all of the book readers already know that all of the vampires are horrible in their own ways & that's because most of them have a horrible past both as a human & vampire . That of course doesn't justify what they later but that clarifies why they're acting the way they do .

And I think from Ep 5 it is right to hate Lestat but I don't understand the hate towards old Daniel he literally didn't do anything to Louis or Rashid / Armand except to get something true out of their stories like a real journalist . And I need to mention here that I myself am a Armandaniel & loustat shipper first & in heart just like you . 🥰 The hate on Old Daniel is not justifiable for the show viewers bc I myself can't find a reason to hate him YET😐

And as for people should hate Armand or Loumand as much as they hated Lestat & loustat , I think that can't be decided by the show viewers only 🤷🏻‍♀️ cause they haven't seen any bad side of Armand towards Louis , they haven't seen their relationship in Paris or after Paris . And they hope Louis & Claudia are finally free of their abuser. So I give them the right to want that because they have no idea & it's a journey for them & new discoveries for them . And not just about Loumand about loustat too because Louis canonly considered loving Lestat more in the second half of the book so if the show runners know what they're doing & consider to take a darker path as JACOB said in an interview then we will definitely see Loumand to the extent & also loustat to the extent. 😊

And for those people who know about Loumand & Armand of the books & still love & adore them together I think that is also fine BUT AS LONG AS THEY DON'T HATE LOUSTAT FOR THE SAME REASONS 🙄 . If they hate Lestat for the manipulation & lies & withholding information then they must hate Armand or Loumand for the same reasons . 😉 Or even Claudia Otherwise their reasons for hating Lestat & loustat isn't justifiable to me . 🤷🏻‍♀️

And I want to add I don't hate Armand I didn't like Loumand though . I love Armand & Daniel their relationship makes more sense to me than Loumand . Although I have to add Loumand as great friends in later books makes so much more sense. I think Louis & Armand can calmly talk together & talk sh*t behind Lestat's back all they want .😂 I think they need each other simply because the way we all need someone in our life when we're tired of our relationship & our family & sometimes ourselves . Armand is probably Louis's escape from anything intense & Louis is probably Armand's scale of what he does as much as Lestat hates that Armand accepts that from Louis I guess . 🙂

Over all I think we should respect each other's favorite ships without judgement towards the person who ships other ships . And I think Loumand was & is the necessity of the story individually or as I myself think Loumand is a means to loustat . So if you're worried about how S2 might not be your favorite season because of Loumand then I can offer you to just enjoy the ride because you'll find something else interesting to like about season 2 . But as a respect for the actors & to the hard work they did I will definitely support S2 because they all worked really hard & I think that wouldn't be really nice to them to stop watching S2 because I don't like Loumand in the book . Who knows I might come to like it on the show . 🤩

Let the tale seduce you . 😉❤️

[vinylattes]

Armandaniel

Send me a ship and I’ll answer three questions based on if I ship it or not.

1. What made you ship it?

i read the devil's minion chapter of qotd (before i've seen sanfran). the rest is history.

2. What are your favorite things about the ship?

since DM is the only really big thing we got rn, i guess that's my top fave?

armand doesn't like to turn anyone because then he'd damn them, too. if it wasn't for daniel dying, he never would've turned him because of the belief that makers & fledglings would grow to hate one another. he had always been the worshipper in his past relationships (marius & louis) and daniel's gonna be like: the cycle ends here, i will love you so much and give up humanity just to be with you.

they match each other's freak. like literally. as i quote from DM, "it would have taken another immortal to keep up with him." (and i love how assad and eric are very much excited for another round of freak next season) in the book, he tried to give dan everything— money, tour around the world, a whole ass ISLAND — but dan never really cares about all that because all he wanted was to be with armand forever as a vampire.

and i love that armand gave dan a vial of his blood and calls him 'lover' and 'beloved', like that would unfortunately work on me.

as for the show, i think the first scene that made us go ??? is when daniel thought about what rashid!armand tasted like. i get wondering how much he weighed because that info confirmed dan's suspicion that armand wasn't what he seemed, but what was the reason for wondering what he tasted like 😭😭😭

3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

this one might not be unpopular, but i believe The Chase has already happened in the past and armand turning old maniel builds up scene parallels between past & present dm.

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2: (Un)Answered Questions & Plot Holes

This is just me going thru my S2 Musings posts & collecting all my questions/concerns/complaints, which can hopefully be addressed or fixed in S3. As much as I love IWTV, I do wonder if the writer's strike effed things up, cuz some of this just don't make sense, Rolin.

WHY was Louis hallucinating Dream!Stat?

What was Lestat up to after the Trial & the Loustat breakup!?

When does Raglan James go rogue?

WTF is even happening with the Great Conversion?

WHO tried to interview vamps that the Talamasca knows about

HOW did Loumand not know their building was crawling with Talamasca spies?

Magnus

Armand's languages

Armand's religion

Papa DPDL

Claudia's diary pages

Armand's Backstory

Alice & Kate

Louis' photos

Louis' aerophobia

No Frankenstein?

The Script/Lestat's lies during the Trial

Lestat's bruises, no Tower Scene

The London Coven

Lestat's maker/fledgling telepathy in 1x2

Where were Claudia's diaries & yellow dress?

Loumand post-Paris and pre-Dubai

Daniel's Turning

When/Why did Sam go to the Talamasca?

Wtf is Dr Fareed up to in S3?

2x1:

1: WHY was Louis hallucinating Dream!Stat?

I still wanna know if this was a figment of Lou's imagination/guilt, or a symptom/manifestation of his mental illness. Is Lou REALLY schizo, or was Daniel just being an a-hole? (AND, is there a dream!Lou who visits Lestat in the dump? XD)

2x2:

2: What was Lestat up to after the Trial & the Loustat breakup!?

Ok, so we know Roget was right--Lestat was asleep after Mardi Gras, and Santiago woke him up for the Trial--WHEN though? As soon as Lou & Claudia arrived? Or when Santiago stole her diaries? (That would've just been an approx. 5yr nap; not a decades-long torpor like the ones Les had in the books.) But was Les asleep in NOLA after the Trial? Rolin said he wanted the reunion scene to be during Katrina, but the timeline didn't fit, so he used Odette instead. Was Lestat awake for Katrina? Did he sleep right through it? When did Lestat learn about Siri?

2x3:

3: When does Raglan James go rogue?

I'm very confused about this guy. We already get his threat/easter egg that he wants to Body Snatch someone and take over the Talamasca, so he's clearly already plotting. He got Armand's OG script from Sam, so I assume he still has access to the archives & agents--so they wouldn't've kicked him out yet. (Unless he hacked their database like he hacked Dan's laptop?)

Cuz he's complaining about not being well-funded, which is weird; the Talamasca THROW MONEY at their agents. And Raglan was kicked out of the Talamasca precisely cuz he was a kleptomaniac who made a fortune stealing people's money/identity--so he's got funds.

We didn't get to see the list of questions he said the Talamasca wanted Dan to ask Louis, either. What was THAT about? But Raglan did get Dan a Talamasca-approved publisher like he promised; and the Talamasca edited out...whatever it was that they didn't want mentioned--and what were THOSE edits? What does Louis know that the Talamasca says is off-limits, and what did the final cut of the book include & omit? Does this leave the door open for Lestat to come swooping in saying "Louis" lied on him, when really it was the Talamasca?

So IDFK know what's going on with Raglan (don't even get me started on Rashid), but I'm excited to find out!

4: WTF is even happening with the Great Conversion?

OK, we got confirmation that S3 WILL do Rockstar!Lestat (thank god), but y'all STILL left the Great Conversion hanging. Louis knew this was happening in like 1x2, and we haven't learned EFF ALL about it since. Why didn't we get Lou/Dan watching TV, listening to news reports about strange killings or something? Or even them talking about seeing more baby fledglings out & about?

Cuz it kinda defeats the purpose of Lou's book pissing the vamps off, if on the one hand they're gung-ho about secrecy & staying in the shadows, and on the other hand they're Turning noob vamps left & right!? So many, that the Talamasca's getting worried!? And why aren't they going after Daniel--HE'S the vampire on TV saying vamps are real!

Like, I get it--AMC's obv setting up the whole Amel plotline, where he wants/NEEDS Akasha to wake up & burn all the vamps, cuz his silver cord/neural link with all his fledglings is being stretched too thin if too many vamps are connected to him; so he wants to cull the herd. The Great Conversion's the last thing Amel would want. And it makes for easy fodder for Akasha, so we can have an epic scene of her just lighting mofos on fire. But other than that, the Great Conversion hasn't made much sense since y'all first mentioned it, sorry.

5: WHO tried to interview vamps that the Talamasca knows about?

6: HOW did Loumand not know their building was crawling with Talamasca spies?

I seriously hope AMC retcons this, and says that Raglan was shielding Daniel's thoughts from Loumand, cuz that's literally the only explanation that makes sense. We know from the books that the Talamasca could block even strong vampires like Lestat from reading their thoughts, but I'm stunned that Armand wasn't scanning Daniel's brain the whole time.

7: Magnus

I hate everything AMC did with the Magnus backstory--I hope this is just a matter of Armand (1) lying his arse off, and/or (2) not knowing wtf he's talking about. Just like Dream!Stat said: HA! 😡

8: Armand's languages

What Daniel said in 1x4 about Armand's Muslim prayers sounding Crimean/Ukranian or whatever has had everyone reeling ever since. But AMC never addressed it in S2! So wtf IS Armand? He says French is his 4th and poorest language--so I'm assuming:

he was born in Delhi, spoke Sanskrit (a la Arun in Sanskrit)

(???) this 2nd language is the one I'm confused about. Either this is the Crimean/Ukranian/Russian Armand learned when he converted(?) to Islam (WHEN??); or it's some other language. In the books, Andrei knew Greek when he was kidnapped & sold to the ship captain (which makes sense cuz of Greek Orthodox Catholicism), and that's how he initially communicated with the boys in Marius' palazzo), cus his amnesia made him forget his native Russian

Amadeo learned Venetian Italian from Marius' boys, and that's what he ended up speaking the whole time he was with the Children of Satan in Santino's coven

French, which he spoke when he was transferred to Paris to lead the Children of Darkness at Les Innocents

9: Armand's religion

10: Papa DPDL

11: Claudia's diary pages

NGL, I do wonder what all the fuss was about in 1x5 when Lou refused to show Daniel the rape pages, if he was just gonna tell us what happened in 2x3 anyways. 🙄 Is it cuz he realized Dan was right about not editorializing; wanting to be as honest as possible--getting "every detail right", like he said in 2x1? Lou told Armand he wasn't gonna share the pages with Dan, he just wanted to see them again--is it cuz he forgot what had actually happened to her? Yeah, IDK what was going on there.

2x4

12: Armand's Backstory

13: Alice & Kate

We never did find out if these chicks (and Dan's daughters) were even real.

14: Louis' photos

We never did find out wtf was going on with Louis' photos (my money's still on Rashid).

2x6:

15: Louis' aerophobia

Did Louis ever get to fly a plane, is all I wanna know, AMC. For reasons.

2x7:

16: No Frankenstein?

NGL, I'm holding out hope that Armand actually did chop Claudia's head off, and just kept HELLA QUIET about it cuz he was working so hard to come off innocent as possible. TVA spinoff tell-all WHENNN?

17: The Script/Lestat's lies during the Trial

WHERE and WHEN did Lestat sleep, before he went to America?

I think this was Lestat deliberately misdirecting the coven so they wouldn't know he found TWMBK.

1908 leaves a 2-year gap, since Lestat met Louis in NOLA in the winter of 1910. So WTF was Lestat up to? The math ain't mathin!

18: Lestat's bruises, no Tower Scene

AMC, this was quite possibly your biggest L all season. If it wasn't for the eagle-eyed fans spotting Lestat's bruises, we'd have NOTHING to even begin to hint that Lestat was being forced to participate in the Trial! Why on god's green earth did y'all not focus on that more--during the Loustat reunion would've been a great time for Lestat to let Louis know he only did it cuz he HAD to!

I wouldn't be surprised if the Trial's revisited to Gotcha! us in S3, when Lestat tells the "real" story 🙄, and we get Lestat's perspective, arriving in Paris, confronting Armand, and getting the coven's ultimatum. Cuz TBF, the Trial was being told strictly from Loumand's perspectives--what Louis remembered when he was going in & out of consciousness under the coven's Mind Gift assault; and what little Armand provided (that wasn't a lie). Louis wouldn't've been in any shape to notice light bruising on Lestat's wrists with one of his eyeballs literally hemorrhaging. And Armand CERTAINLY wasn't gonna bring up Les' bruises if he's the one that put them there--he was already shaking in his boots over "Banishment."

So I think this situation can still be salvaged--YES, it'll be a cop-out, but whatever; I just wanna see it. Rolin promised us that we';d see Lestat be "humbled," but I thought we'd get something way different. It's beyond ridiculous that y'all didn't make it clearer that Lestat had been tortured; especially cuz he seemed just fine during their rehearsal--and THAT would've been the moment to show him effed up before they dolled him up for the stage.

2x8:

19: The London Coven

20: Lestat's maker/fledgling telepathy in 1x2

21: Where were Claudia's diaries & yellow dress?

We clearly see Louis stuffing Claudia's dress & diaries in a burlap sack, and we clearly see the dress perfectly preserved in Dubai. So Daniel's question still holds: "Where were all these diaries in 1973?" There's also the question of when Louis started his "archives." I have several theories (X X), but yeah, I'm confused.

22: Loumand post-Paris and pre-Dubai

AMC, the math ain't mathin!

I need a frikkin Loumand timeline, AMC, this ish don't make no sense!

23: Daniel's Turning

Like. Wtf? I can't believe y'all offscreened Armand Turning Daniel. We'd better get a proper Devil's Minion segment in S3, istg; I NEED to see the gremlin terrorizing Daniel; it's pure comedy!

24: When/Why did Sam go to the Talamasca?

Just a spare thought--was it for asylum? Out of spite against Armand? Out of boredom? Seeking attention? What?

25: Wtf is Dr Fareed up to in S3?

I just hope we'll get the reveal that he's a vampire, and that we'll see his Maker Seth for the very first time on screen--hopefully as they side against Akasha! That would be a spiiiiiicy family reunion!