#Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

[nero-neptune]

“Santa is going to find out who is naughty or nice.”

RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE | 2010 | dir. jalmari helander

[tinyreviews]

2023 Sisu brought me here.

I liked the child-adult dichotomy of views, where the child believed in the fantastical and was right, and the adult was realistic but was wrong.

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale is a 2010 Finnish fantasy action horror comedy film written and directed by Jalmari Helander, starring Onni Tommila, Jorma Tommila, Per Christian Ellefsen, Tommi Korpela, Rauno Juvonen, Ilmari Järvenpää, Peeter Jakobi, Jonathan Hutchings, and Risto Salmi.

[schlock-luster-video]

"This Christmas Everyone Will Believe in Santa Claus ..."

Recently drew these two new portraits of Onni Tommila inspired by Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)!

[k-star-holic]

Song Ga-in ⁇ Stars' Top Recipe at Fun-Staurant ⁇ Joining, Jindo Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

Source: k-star-holic.blogspot.com

[randomdeinonychus]

I did love this evil Santa so much.

[mikethemovieguy]

Movie Review: RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE 

Movie Review: RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE #holidays #horror #moviereview #movies

This past Christmas holiday season…I found this movie on Netflix…I added it to my Netflix Que and waited for it to arrive. It was like Christmas in my mailbox. WHAT DID I THINK OF RARE EXPORTS? I enjoyed it! It’s definitely a DARK Christmas tale. 😎 I love how this trailer doesn’t tell the WHOLLLEEEEE truth of the movie. No spoilers here. It’s got crazy action and a little comedy – – and it…

[kaen-ace-of-diamonds]

Christmas Horror Kids Tournament

Because this isn't the Hunger Games, the kids are in competition but not in direct opposition to each other. Basically: there's some big monster/villain threatening their holiday, which of these main characters is not just surviving but is coming out on top the fastest?

Propaganda for each contender (and spoilers for all movies mentioned) under the cut:

Pietari: fears neither God nor death nor army of feral elves. good at keeping calm under pressure and making plans on the fly. carries a gun around the whole movie but never actually uses it, so not sure how well he could shoot. his actor was 11 when the movie came out but I think he's supposed to be a few years younger?

Luke: horrific demon child, zero moral limits so long as he gets what he wants, -5000/10 would not recommend babysitting. extremely good planner, but vulnerable to overlooking small details that ruin him. about 12: very smart but fairly immature for his age. has to be reminded not to kill his competition this time.

Thomas: literally just wanted to stay home and play trains with his grandpa, but now he's got to defend them both from a killer Santa. models himself after action movie heroes and is so good at Home Alone-ing his house that his director tried to sue for plagiarism. about 10-11 years old?

Anna: would be better with her friends to help her, but is pretty damn capable of making it in the zombie apocalypse on her own. not sure exactly how old she's supposed to be, since I'm not clear on how the New Zealand school system works, but she's an older teenager.

Billy: definitely has his wits closer about him than his dad does, that's for fucking sure. does get tricked into creating gremlins, but you know what, who would have expected them to have fucked with his clock? successfully takes on and kills an army of gremlins, albeit with help. probably the oldest competitor here since he's out of high school (?)

Max: definitely willing to go to bat for the Christmas spirit, and to put his own life on the line to protect his family, but is pretty severely lacking in strength or savvy. is good at dodging an army of killer toys, but might not do so well without a bunch of relatives around to also be targets. like Pietari, his actor was 12 but I think he's supposed to be a bit younger.

Trudy: ngl, might be a little weak in solo competition, since she's maybe 7-8 years old and so relies a lot on Santa the one-man army. but she's clever, has exactly zero fear of hardened criminals with machine guns, and is very good at turning Home Alone traps exactly as deadly as they should be.

Winnie: the most Final Girl (TM) out of all the competitors imho. learns very quickly how to improvise and use whatever's handy as a weapon, and while she's also best with a partner to distract an opponent, can handle herself very competently in a physical fight. about 17?

Samantha and Clara: actually, fuck Billy, does Clara even count as a kid at all, being an ancient demon in the form of a child? has telekinetic powers and is good at Breaking Speeches, but is bound by being sealed in the school and unable to kill her enemies herself. Samantha is a pretty normal middle schooler (?), but also has the guts to go face a cult of killers with an axe when she could have run away and saved herself, so don't count her out.

Kevin: is Home Alone a horror movie? no. could I possibly exclude the king, the champion, the future Jigsaw apprentice? also no. smart and absolutely cold-blooded when he needs to be, he's excellent at fending enemies off from a distance, but it's game over for him if he's actually caught.

[stumachher]

24 DAYS OF HORROR-MAS ( 18 / 24 )

Roll up your sleeves, prepare the dynamite. Do what you do best. You have a grave to rob. Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) dir. Jalmari Helander

[captaincolossal]

I mean, it's not as smooth as Shaun of the Dead (2004) at sprinkling the growing zombie apocalypse in the background, but not bad.

Okay, so the pacing is a little clunky and it feels a little like a lot of things, but it's such a good time. The music is solid, the performances are good, it does the comedy well, the horror less so, but it's a fun ride.

More Christmas horror! Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

Today was my last event for the year and I'm fucking delighted. First off, it was better than I expected sales-wise and i wasn't completely miserable because of the weather, and also, I'm fucking done for awhile! My next event isn't until February! It's basically the start of my holiday break, except I still have, like, regular shit to do, plus this project I just started, and I have some applications to get out for next year already. But events are done!

Christmas movie double feature, why not.

Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)

Okay this is very cute and the songs are pretty good.

[stupidjewishwhiteboy]

Rare Exports : A Christmas Tale | trailer #1 US (2010)

The correct answer to “Best Christmas Movie”, by the way

[caesarclowningaround]

Something I'm curious about. Mine is Krampus (with Black Christmas as a close second)! Reblogs for a wider range etc. etc. are lovely thank you! ❄️ Have a safe holiday season!!

Sequels & remakes of the listed go under "OP you forgot" and let me know which one! :D

[solitaryearthperson]

For all the horror fans this holiday season, here are some Christmas themed horror movies

Jack Frost (1997)

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)

It's a Wonderful Knife

Better Watch Out (2016)

P2 (2007)

A Creature was Stirring (2023)

Silent Night (2021)

Krampus (2015)

Black Christmas (1974)

Red Snow (2021)

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

Anna and the Apocalypse (2017)

Holidays (2016)

The Apology (2022)

The Lodge (2019)

Terrifier 3 (2024)

[tinyreviews]

Finnish cinema

Finnish cinema, while less globally recognized than its Scandinavian counterparts from Sweden and Denmark, has a rich history and a distinctive style that reflects the culture, values, and history of Finland.

History: Finnish cinema dates back to 1907 with the creation of the first Finnish film production company, Suomi-Filmi. It produced many silent films and early talkies, establishing the beginnings of a national cinema.

Themes: Finnish films often explore themes of national identity, history, and the tension between traditional rural life and modern urban living. There's also a distinctive engagement with nature, fitting for a country known for its forests and lakes.

Social Realism: Like much of Nordic cinema, Finnish films are known for their social realism. They often tackle societal issues with a focus on the everyday experiences of ordinary people. This has led to a cinematic tradition that’s both grounded and poignant.

Humor: Finnish cinema has a unique sense of humor. "Finnish deadpan" is a style of comedy characterized by minimalist, matter-of-fact delivery and absurd situations, often combined with a melancholic tone. Notable directors in this vein include Aki Kaurismäki, whose films are internationally acclaimed.

Notable Films and Directors: In addition to Aki Kaurismäki, notable Finnish directors include his brother Mika Kaurismäki, Renny Harlin (known for Hollywood action films), and Jalmari Helander (known for his action and fantasy films). Some internationally acclaimed Finnish films are "The Man Without a Past", "Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale", and "Tom of Finland".

International Recognition: Finnish films have received international recognition and won awards at prestigious festivals, such as the Cannes Film Festival. However, they are not as widely exported or recognized as films from some other European countries.

Modern Finnish Cinema: Modern Finnish cinema is diverse, with films ranging from historical dramas to dark comedies, action films, and introspective character studies. The industry also produces high-quality documentaries.

In summary, Finnish cinema is characterized by its blend of social realism, distinctive humor, engagement with national themes, and a commitment to telling stories about ordinary people and their lives.

[shoeboxasylum]

In case you have nothing to watch for the holidays, here are 41 Underrated and Obscure Christmas movies.

You're welcome~ 🍬🎄❄️

Family Friendly:

Life and Adventures of Santa Claus (Rankin/Bass 1985)

The Leprechaun's Christmas Gold (Rankin/Bass 1981)

Year without a Santa Claus (Rankin/Bass 1974)

The town Santa forgot (Rankin/Bass 1993)

Ernest Saves Christmas (1988) --- know what I mean, Verne? (I miss this man...)

Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (2007)

Blue Toes the Elf (1988)

Olive, the other reindeer (1999)

Annabelle's Wish (1997)

Santa's apprentice (2010), Santa's Apprentice and the Magic Snowflake (2013)

The Tangerine Bear (2000)

Older kids and families:

Fred Claus (2007) — Hits different if your an older sibling

Elf-Man *starring Wee Man!* (2011) — Elf comedy

Santa Conquers the Martians (1964) Rifftrax version (2014)

Santa and the ice cream bunny (1972) Rifftrax Version (2010)

A Christmas Karen (2022) — cliche but kinda cute and funny

Nostalgic Honorable Mention Specials:

He-man and She-ra: A Christmas Special (1984)

Christmas Comes to Pacland (1982)

The Smurf's Christmas Special (1982)

Animaniacs: Wakko's Wish (1990)

Power Puff Girls: Twas the Fight Before Christmas (2003)

Ed, Edd ‘n Eddy: Jingle Jingle Jangle (2004)

Billy and Mandy Save Christmas (2005)

The best, worst and most underrated movies I can find so far:

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) — Santa slasher

Anna and the Apocalypse (2017) — Zombie musical for the holiday season

All American Christmas Carol (2013) — white trash Christmas carol

Scrooged (1988) — Bill Murray carol

Deck the Halls (2006) —Danny Devito and Christmas lights

The Big Gift (2022) —Egocentric Santa Vs. Parents

Rare Exports: a Christmas Tale (2010) — wtf Finland?

Cadaver Christmas (2011) — Hilariously low budget holiday zombie flick

Christmas Bloody Christmas (2022) — Robot Santa kill spree

Christmas Evil (1980) — Santa slasher

Monsters!:

Christmas zombies (2020) —elves and zombies

Santa claus vs the zombies (2010) — low budget fun

Werewolf Santa (2023) — self explanatory

Santa Claus is a vampire (2016) — self explanatory

Santastein (2023) — should be obvious

Krampus vs Bigfoot (2023) — christmas drugs are a hell of a sci-fi

Santa jaws (2018) ---Sharks. It's Asylum ‘nuff said

Jack Frost (1997) — Evil Frosty

Killing tree (2022) — it's literally a kill-happy Christmas tree

Nutcracker Massacre (2022) — cursed nutcracker slasher

[michaelcoffeysthoughts]

Watched Today: Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)