#Raphael has serious self worth issues

[steampunkserpent]

Wrote a new fic that wouldn't leave my head for Raphael x my tav, Vasilisa.

[sketch-guardian]

Can I ask for the students with an mc who has a RBF (resting bitch face) but then when you talk to them they’re the sweetest person you’ll ever meet?

Of course!✨There's no problem with your ask☺besides I usually have a similar face as well😂now the headcanons🙈:

"RAD CLASSMATES+NEW EXCHANGE STUDENTS WITH A MC WHO HAS A RESTING BITCH FACE, BUT IS ACTUALLY SWEET"

DEMYA

Demya has met her vast mix of grumpy or overly serious people throughout her life, so her first impression of MC, especially with that face, might be negative, in the sense that she would assume they're boring or strict, so she'd be pleasantly surprised to discover MC actually being sweet, Demya would also be instinctively attracted if MC offered her some of their food out of kindness, this would earn MC more mate points. It would make Demya snicker to see other people's amazement at MC's true behavior, having experienced it herself and considering that sometimes MC would be too sweet, to prevent some nasty demons from taking advantage of them, Demya would stand next to MC and stare at those with bad intentions with a hungry gaze, if they don't want to lose limbs or worse, become Demya's next meal, it is better for them to give up and move away. Also Demya might sometimes tease MC by pinching their cheeks to make them smile

DOMNRA/MOBIM

Domnra has a resting grumpy face most of the time and his pointed teeth increase the impression that he's aggressive, which on the one hand is true, given his anger issues, but Domnra is usually more barks than bites, being violence most of the time unnecessary. Domnra would initially expect MC to be somehow like Belphegor or Raphael because of their facial expression, so he would be reasonably baffled by MC's sweetess. Domnra might wonder if their resting bitch face is a strategy to keep people away, allowing only those who are trusted or who prove trustworthy to come closer, still he wouldn't ask himself too many questions about it and would welcome MC's tender sweetness, he would also get flustered if MC offered during his workouts to cheer him on and bring him supplies such as fresh water, snacks, towels or a change of clothes. Mobim is used to Domnra's annoyed expression, however the little curse is aware that not everyone is the same, so it would need some time to realize MC is actually kind and then become pretty attached to them

AZUL

Azul is friends with Domnra and Zuri, two of the demons with the least friendly faces present in Devildom, he also has no sense of self-preservation and therefore a MC with a resting bitch face would not make Azul desist from talking with them to get to know them better and in the end it would also have been worth it, considering their exposed secret sweetness. Azul and MC, despite their resting bitch face and his overly smug smile, would be the kind of sweet couple that would make the most jealous people's stomach turn, with flowers, kisses, cuddles and improvised dances (Devilgram would be full of their photos-). There would be times when Azul would try to break MC's act, with either puns or sneaky tickle attacks to see if they would give in, but otherwise he might jokingly just draw a smile on a piece of paper, handle it to MC and tell them to use it to show their emotions without changing expression. In this sense, Azul and MC would be a bit opposite, because due to his colors, Azul shows emotions even not on purpose

ZURI

Zuri has a very calm and serious expression, sometimes cold depending on how you approach her, to some she might even seem snobbish, but she is a hard worker who only thinks about moving on with her life, having achieved her power and success from below, against the expectations of other noble demons (the circle of demons that Mephistopheles knows for example). Zuri would analyze MC's resting bitch face, perceiving that behind that apathetic expression lies something warmer and would be pleasantly relieved to have been right. Zuri and MC would almost appear either a regal or intimidating couple, there would be no middle ground, but behind closed doors both would prove to be a little more loving, with gifts or acts of service and they would be fine with that, being intimate while minding their own business, without having to mask their feelings

ODON

Odon has a bit of an opposite resting bitch face, meaning that they practically always smile, without ever faltering. If Odon were to frown, it would be extremely worrying, but no one has ever lived long enough to be able to say they have ever seen Odon do that (perhaps only once Lord Diavolo in the past, who met Odon when they were younger, when they still struggled with emotions and therefore didn't really know how to smile). Odon wouldn't ask wonder about MC's expression, they aren't the type of demon to judge and if they were, it would be hypocritical on their part, which is why MC's sweet attitude wouldn't surprise Odon too much, being polite and nice themselves, despite their appearance. Odon would like to see MC smile, they imagine they would be radiant, but they would never pressure them into doing so and would settle with spending some quality time with MC, while drinking a good cup of green tea

REMIEL

Remiel has a resting gloomy face, meaning that she often seems somber and has a deadpan yet soft voice, even when she's perfectly okay, furthermore her father Death wears a mask and isn't a very reassuring figure, although in reality he's caring towards her, so Remiel wouldn't ask herself questions about MC's resting bitch face or their hidden sweetness, because for the angel of death it would almost correspond to everyday life, to what she is used to. Remiel would still find the contrast between MC's face and their pure bright soul fascinating, in fact sometimes she would seem in awe, admiring it. Remiel would also find it thoughtful of MC if they helped her during the preening and cleansing process of her wings, paying attention to the eyes on the back

NATHANIEL

Nathaniel most of the time has an apathetic and stoic expression on his face, especially if he is busy with his celestial duty or other important matters. Due to that reason, many lower ranks angels would prefer to avoid him, only to discover to their surprise that he's actually chiller and cooler than it seemed. In short, Nathaniel experiences firsthand how wrong it can be to judge a book by its cover, so he wouldn't do the same with MC and would be grateful to have been granted access to their sweeter side. Nathaniel would like to take strolls with MC and leave most of the conversation to them, being more of a listener than a conversationalist and appreciating the sweetness soaking MC's words, in contrast to their resting bitch face

URIEL

At first Uriel would think that MC's resting bitch face represents reality, because it would remind her of the expression of some of her superior general angels, impassive and strict, qualities that she would be able to appreciate in a warrior, however discovering the contrast between their face and sweetness would remind Uriel a little of Nathaniel, to whom she has gotten used to over time, learning to read him. MC's sweetness towards her would leave Uriel a little flustered and defensive, not used to delicate or preferential treatment towards her, however that wouldn't mean she doesn't appreciate getting spoiled, she would just be too tsundere to admit it. Uriel's chest would swell with pride if MC cheered her on during training with other angels or helped her clean her armor. Uriel would also think MC would be a pretty good angel due to their sweetness, after all they're too good for their realm

[attemptsonherlifepdf]

bojack horseman and bo burnham: the art of acting like you’re acting and the comedy of misery

at the core of bojack horseman, raphael bob-waksberg’s 2014 comedy, is a story about the relationship between performance and depression. the protagonist of this renowned tragicomedy is best described as a sympathetic villain; he is shown to clearly be in the wrong across various events of the show, and is explicitly referred to as a bad person, but the audience is granted deep access to his personal struggles, resulting in some portions of the audience finding themselves on bojack’s side. the duality of his character is complex, but can be broken down into some core components, that all stem from the impacts of stardom and performance. the standup comedy of bo burnham arguably echoes this sentiment in real time. having been a performer from a young age, burnham creates work that serves as a satirical commentary on the life of entertainers. he uses original songs to explore the reliance upon and resentment for his performative nature both onstage and within his personal life. both the comedian and the netflix show are widely understood to be thinly veiling their critiques of the entertainment industry behind a particular brand of witty and absurd humour.

both bojack and burnham’s content openly criticises their audiences and explicitly states the manufactured nature of the narrative the audience is fed. in the fifth season of bojack horseman, the show satirises itself by having bojack star in a police procedural drama, parts of which are actively written by other characters to reflect events of bojack’s life. the titular character he plays, philbert, is the epitome of selfish male angst, and an example of what bob-waksberg’s show could have been; another story about a sad and angry man whose guilt supposedly makes up for the people he has hurt. according to bojack, philbert teaches us ‘we’re all terrible, so we’re all okay’, an interpretation that is harshly disputed by diane: ‘that’s not the point of philbert, for guys to watch it and feel okay. i dont want you, or anyone else, justifying their shitty behaviour because of the show.’ this moment is a direct reaction to some of the online reception bojack horseman has received. various circles of the show’s fanbase have found themselves relating to the protagonist to the point of defending his untoward behaviour, a response not intentioned by the show’s creators. this is not the only example of bob-waksberg’s ability to make his work self-evaluative. in season six’s exposure of bojack and sarah lynn’s problematic relationship, characters question their sexual encounter from the first season. the writers use this as a way of examining their own choices, and the harmful tropes they played into when using this exploitative sexual encounter as a gag. this self-evaluative quality is what sets bojack apart as a show that assesses the performance it participates in, much like the comedy of bo burnham.

bo burnham is known for directly addressing his audience, particularly in terms of discouraging idolisation and parasocial relationships. some examples of this manifest as responses to hecklers rather than a planned bit in the show, for instance:

heckler: i love you!

bo: no you don’t

heckler: i love the IDEA of you!

bo: stop participating!

he actively addresses the issues posed by being an entertainer, and encourages the audience to understand and recognise that his onstage persona is just that: an exaggerated persona. not once does burnham claim to be fully authentic onstage, and even moments of authenticity we see in his latest special, inside, are staged. we make the assumption that having the physical setting of a stage stripped away grants us a more personal look at the entertainer’s life, but he makes it clear that even in his own home we still see the aspects he has carefully constructed rather than the full truth. arguably though, parts of the show really are authentic; in his monologue during make happy, bo deconstructs his own show in a way that is similar to bojack horseman’s later seasons, admitting that all he knows is performing and thus making a show about the more mundane and relatable aspects of life would feel ‘incredibly disingenuous.’ in his attempts to separate himself from this onstage persona he actually manages to blur the lines between what is acting and what is now part of his nature as a result of his job. this notion is echoed in bojack horseman as bojack’s attention seeking nature is attributed to his years acting in front of a camera every day.

bo suggests that the era of social media has created a space in which children’s identities mimic that of an entertainer like himself, describing the phenomenon as ‘performer and audience melded together.’ in this observation he criticises the phenomenon. bo attempts to force the audience to recognise the ways in which their lives are becoming shaped by the presence of an audience and to some extent uses his own life as a warning tale against this. he points out the way in which the ‘tortured artist trope’ means that your cries for help or roundabout attempts of addressing mature themes such as substance abuse, mental illness and trauma become part of that on stage persona and therefore become part of the joke. both bo and bojack address these topics in more discrete manners earlier in their careers, but this eventually becomes expected, and thus they are forced to explicitly detail their struggles with these topics in order to be taken seriously. even then, portions of the audience are inclined to see it as part of the persona or as something that fuels the creators creativity and thus does not need to be addressed as a legitimate issue. the emphasis on creating a character or persona promotes the commodification of mental illness: any struggle must be made into a song or a joke or a bit, must be turned into part of the act in order to have value. this actually serves to delegitimise these emotions and create a disconnect between the feeling and the person, as it becomes near impossible to exist without feeling as though you are acting. even when an artist’s cries for help become blatant, they continue to go ignored because now they serve the purpose of creating content that criticises the industry they stem from. online audiences can be seen as treating bo burnham and his insightful work as existing to demonstrate the negative effects entertaining can have, and because this insight is useful or thought-provoking to audiences, he is almost demanded to keep entertaining and creating. in response to this demand, his work becomes more meta and his messages become clearer, and the more obvious his messages, the more people he reaches. this increases audience demands and traps entertainers in a cycle fraught with internal conflict.

during bojack’s second season, bojack’s date asks him, ‘come on, do that bojack thing where you make a big deal and everyone laughs, but at the same time we relate, because you're saying the things polite society won't.’ this moment exemplifies how aspects of his genuine personality have now become a part of his persona and this is demanded of him in genuine and serious situations, undermining the validity of his emotional reactions. he immediately makes a rude comment to the waitress at the restaurant they’re in and satisfies his date by performing that character he has set himself out to be. some circles of the fan base have argued that bojack is written as a depiction of somebody with borderline personality disorder, offering a psychoanalytical lens through which to view this notion of performance. a defining symptom of borderline personality disorder is a fluctuating sense of self; having grown up on camera, being demanded to perform to others as young as six years old, bojack’s sense of self will have been primarily dictated by the need to act.  whether this acting is for the sake of comedy, or as a representation of masking his mental illness, when they need to act is taken away bojack entirely loses his sense of self and relapses into his addictions: ‘i felt like a xerox of a xerox of a person.’ burnham’s depictions of depression run along a similar vein; in his new special he poses the idea that his comedy no longer serves the same personal purpose it once did for him. he questions ‘shit should I be joking at a time like this?’ and satirises the idea that arts have enough value to change or impact the current global issues that we are facing. burnham’s ‘possible ending song’ to his latest special, he asks ‘does anybody want to joke when no-one’s laughing in the background? so this is how it is.’ implicit in this question is the idea that when the audience is taken away and there is nobody to perform his pain to, he is left with his pain. instead of being able to turn his musings and thoughts into a product to sell to the public, he is forced to just think about them in isolation and actually face them, an abrupt and distressing experience.

the value of performance and art is questioned by both bojack and burnham, particularly during the later years of their respective content. burnham’s infamous song, art is dead, appears to be a direct response to the question ‘what is the worth of art?’ he posits that performing is the result of a need for attention (‘my drug’s attention, i am an addict, but i get paid to indulge in my habit’) and repeatedly jokes throughout his career that the entertainment industry receives more respect that it deserves (‘i’m the same as you, im still doing a job or a service, i’m just massively overpaid’). his revelations regarding the inherent desire for attention that runs through all entertainers is frequently satirised in bojack horseman. bojack is comically, hyperbolically attention hungry and self-obsessed, and the show has a running gag in which he uses phrases along the lines of ‘hello, why is nobody paying attention to me, the famous movie star, instead of these other boring people.’ his constant attempts to direct the focus of others towards himself result in bojack feeling like ‘everybody loves you, but nobody likes you.’ his peers buy into his act and adore the comical, exaggerated, laughable aspects of his character, but find very little room to respond to him on a genuinely personal level because of this. interestingly, bojack appears to enjoy catering to his audience and the instant gratification it produces, whereas bo burnham becomes increasingly candid about his mixed feeling towards his audience. ‘i wanna please you, but i wanna stay true to myself, i wanna give you the night out that you deserve, but i wanna say what i think and not care what you think about it.’ he admits to catering to what audiences want from him, but resents both the audience and himself in the process as it reveals to himself which parts of his character are solely for the sake of people watching him.

within bojack horseman, this concept is applicable not only to the protagonist, but to the various forms of performer demonstrated in the plot. towards the show’s end, sarah lynn asks ‘what does being authentic have to do with anything?’ to which herb kazzaz responds, ‘when i finally stopped hiding behind a facade i could be at peace.’ this highlights the fact that because entertainers are demanded to continue the facade, they do not receive the opportunity to find ‘peace.’ this sentiment is scattered throughout the show, through a musical motif, the song ‘don’t stop dancing.’ the song stems from a life lesson bojack imparted to sarah lynn at a young age, and becomes more frequently used as the show progresses and bojack’s situation worsens.

sarah lynn is also used to explore the value of entertainers; in the show’s penultimate episode, she directly compares her work as a pop icon to the charity work of herb, arguing that if she suffered in order to produce her work. it has to mean something. she lists the struggles she faced when on tour: ‘i gave my whole life...my manager leaked my nudes to get more tour dates added, my mom pointed out every carb i ate, it was hell. but it gave millions of fans a show they will never forget and that has to mean something.’ implicit in this notion is the idea that entertainment is the epitome of self-sacrifice. there is a surplus of mentally ill individuals within the industry, largely due to the nature of the industry itself, but some may argue that the cultural grip the industry has, and the vast amounts of respect and money it generates annually, gives the suffering of these prolific individuals meaning.

the juxtaposing responses entertainers feel towards their audiences manifest as two forms of desperation: the desperation to be an individual who is held accountable, and the desperation to be loved and validated. we see both bojack and bo depict how they oscillate between  ‘this is all a lie’ and ‘my affection for my audience is genuine’, or between ‘do not become infatuated with me im a character’ and ‘please fucking love my character i do not know how to be loved on a personal level.’ bojack explicitly asks diane to write a slam piece on him and ‘hold him accountable’, similar to bo’s song ‘problematic’ in which the hook includes the phrase ‘isn’t anybody gonna hold me accountable?’ for his insensitive jokes as a late teenager. their self-awareness is what enables their self-evaluative qualities, but self-awareness is its own issue. bojack grapples with a narcissistic view of his own recognition of his behaviour before settling on a more nuanced, albeit depressing take. originally he makes the assumption that in recognising the negative aspects of himself, he is superior to those who behave similarly: ‘but i know im a piece of shit. that makes me better than all the pieces of shit that don’t know theyre pieces of shit.’ eventually, during his time at rehab he is forced to reconcile with the fact that self awareness does not, to put it bluntly, make you the superior asshole, it just makes you the more miserable one. the show does, however, make a point to recognise how the entertainment industry protects ‘pieces of shit’, prioritising their productive value over how much they deserve to be held accountable, demonstrated using characters like hank hippopoalus. the show itself obviously stems from the entertainment industry, as it is a form of media produced by netflix, one of the most popular streaming platforms available. bojack horseman and bo burnham represent the small corner of the industry that is reflective enough to showcase the damage it inflicts. this is powerful in terms of education and awareness, and urges audiences to question their own motives and versions of performance, but the reflection alone is not powerful enough to help the artists in question. burnham’s candid conversations surrounding his mental health continue to reveal a plethora of issues somewhat caused or sustained by the nature of his career. within bojack horseman, bojack is only able to stop hurting other characters when those characters construct a situation that forces him to face consequence, his introspection alone is not enough. while bojack ends on a message of hope, suggesting to the audience that reverting back to the status quo is not the only acceptable way for events to end, it leaves stinging lessons and social commentary with the audience regarding the unnatural and damaging narrative that performers live through. on a similar but markedly different note, bo burnham’s work and personal progression is playing out in real time, and not in a way that is as raw and genuine as it appears. each bit is planned, even the most vulnerable moments that appear unplanned and painful. his latest special is not entirely devoid of hope, but does translate to audiences as a somewhat exaggerated look around the era of social media and the development of performance, using himself as an example.

the absurdist humour that often acts as a vehicle for poignant statements or emotionally provocative questions is very specific to each media creator. bob-waksberg’s use of puns, tongue twisters and entirely ridiculous circumstances served to simultaneously characterise his points as an expected part of the show’s style of humour, similar to bojack’s emotional instability, but also to make them appear gut-punching in comparison to the humour. burnham’s work is similar in that poignant but blunt statements are often sandwiched between absurd and exaggerated jokes, making them stand out via contrast but not giving the audience too much time to dwell upon them as they are said. performance art is second nature to entertainers, and is presented a an issue that is infiltrating the general population via social media rather than solely affecting the ‘elites’. bojack horseman and bo burnham present the duality of artists simultaneously attempting to level the playing field and increase their chances of survival in the industry, and encourage audiences to know that everyone is bluffing and you’ll never have the right cards anyway.

i.k.b

[tmnt-roni-paws]

Another Long Post

I know I love Shredder!Raphael, but it also gets me thinking of Michelangelo and if he joined the Foot. To be more specific why, and it all comes down to self worth in the family. (I touched base about self worth in my Raphael has depression post).

Its no suprise that Mikey would feel like he is less compared to his brothers due to him 'being the goof ball'. So it wouldnt be a suprise to see him getting fed up and trying to make something of himself by going out on his own. Similarly to the live action movies, he would be a wayward teen with troble at home, a perfect Foot recruit, and why wouldn't the enemy clan snatch him while they had the chance?

This also leads me into how, i know most would just and put the blame of Raphael cause it would be the easiest thing to do cause he's hot headed and may make some sort of comment or start a fight, but I feel like it would ultimately be either Master Splinter or Leonardo to blame (maybe both), cause we already see how Master Splinter gets on Mikey about not being as serious as his brothers or taking his training to heart, and Leo would be in full agreements or push the issue himself as well.

I also feel like Master Splinter and Leonardo would be far more impactful then Raphael (whom is known for being close to Mikey in most tmnt media from comics to shows and comforting him often)

Raphael and Michelangelo bicker and fight all the time so the chances of Mikey taking Raphael's words to heart are very slim compared to if his father and Leo said anything.

[ralfstrashcan]

I call bs on that Downworlders-appealing-not-serious-Statement from Izzy in 3x06

Here's why.

Warning: Contains extended talk about how sex is referenced on the Show, so probably nsfw? But nothing graphic.

“I think the reason why I find Downworlders appealing is because those issues prevent things from ever getting too serious.”

Without context this statement can be interpreted two ways:

1) She is secretly scared of a committed and serious relationship and so just dates Downworlders so she doesn't have to worry about things getting to intense.

2) She isn't interested in a committed and serious relationship and Downworlders are the easiest way to have some kind of relation where both parties are aware that it's not going to go anywhere serious, so she doesn't have to deal with the fact that her partner gets overly invested which would lead to complications and possibly hurt feelings.

I honestly don't believe it's 1) because Izzy isn't the person to get scared of anything that affects her herself (meaning she'd of course be scared of her siblings dying a horrible death, etc.) She is incredibly courageous and one of the strongest characters on the Show, she is brimming with self-confidence and in contrast to Jace's it's 100% genuine and not to cover up some complex and twisted self-esteem and self-image issues. She is passionate, in fact her passion is probably her most defining character trait. So to think that she's scared of a committed relationship is just odd. Also, taking her relationship with Meliorn into account, it was clearly not going anywhere serious, but she obviously cared for him (and he cared for her) so if she was scared of any kind of commitment and her goal was to avoid getting feelings involved and eventually hurt (which is exactly what happened in S1), that wasn't a success, and she must have known that even before it all fell apart. Did she seem overly concerned during her affair with Meliorn, angsting over her attachment to him? No.

Whether you go with option 1) or 2), they both imply that Downworlders are the easiest (if not the only) source to access casual relationships / hook ups. And that's simply not true.

Let's take a look at the Shadowhunters' sex life. There's not overly much to go on, but there is enough.

- Alec: Zero sex life before Magnus, though that has probably to do with him not being outed and homosexuality being extremely frowned upon, so he's not really representative. He does check out Jace and some other Shadowhunter Dude in 1x12 though, so there's that.

- Jace: We see Jace rolling around in bed with Kaelie once and out on a date / friendly evening with four Seelies (both in 2x07). Besides that he states in 3x02 that he's been with tons of people (and it was never serious). So, a promiscuous Shadowhunter with loads of no strings attached sex.

- Lydia: Lydia's been engaged to John, and after he tragically died (RIP John, I so ship you with Lydia in any and all AUs) she decided that “in this line of work, the only thing worth falling in love with is the work itself” as she tells Alec in 1x08. There's nothing known about her sex life, but she was willing to marry Alec, knowing that nothing would ever happen between them, so she was either expecting him to be fine with her having an affair on the side or she was okay with the prospect of never (again?) having sex in her life. Of course she was probably still mourning her love and also she's incredibly ambitious and wanted that Institute no matter what, so I think the fact that she didn't prioritize sex in her life plan doesn't necessarily mean she's generally not that interested in having sex or that the society she lives in would condemn a sexually active person.

- Raj: Yeah, it pains me to even think about that, too. Whatever, for Science! In 2x04 he mentioned (talking about a corpse with its heart torn out, srsly, that guy) “I thought I was having a rough weekend. [...] I'm just saying, I've been in his shoes before. Except my demon's name was Kathy.” so he clearly had some relation with that Kathy person that ended in a broken heart (or bruised pride) for him. Also, considering that Raj is pretty racist towards Downworlders and dating Mundanes is forbidden I think it's pretty likely that Kathy is a Shadowhunter as well. In 2x08, which doesn't take place too terribly long after 2x04 he claimed to have been “this close to lining up a three way.” Disregarding the fact that I find it hard to believe he'd find one person willing to get with him, let alone two (sorry, I just hate him and his douche-y attitude and I can't imagine you wouldn't notice those after 3 seconds of talking to him and would be instantly turned off) wasn't that at Max's Rune Ceremony Party? Where there were exclusively Shadowhunters invited, hosting warlock excluded? So this indicates that a) after a short amount of time after a failed relationship / whatever he was open for a sexual adventure and b) Shadowhunters participate in threesomes, something that you probably wouldn't easily and openly mention in a reticent society.

- HELL EVEN ALDERTREE admitted to having dated a Downworlder and was also hitting on Izzy, which, considering she's younger than him and his subordinate should be frowned upon in an uptight society.

- Aline: In 2x15 it is mentioned that she was secretly seeing a girl named Carolyn and since they were in Alicante this Carolyn is most likely a fellow Shadowhunter. Also since that relationship is talked about in past tense it has probably ended. So she has a dating life.

- And then there's Izzy herself, of course. On-Screen she's only ever been in a relationship with Meliorn, but in 1x06 Maryse declines her offer to marry in Alec's place, saying “You can't do this. You and your Downworlders have seen to that.” referring to the tons of affairs with Downworlders Izzy has had. Not to mention Izzy's comment about jewels in 1x04. There's also the fact that she openly hit on Simon in 1x02 and when Alec rolled his eyes she commented “It passes the time.” Whether she meant flirting or the resulting possible hook up is anyone's guess, but I don't think I'm seeing things when I say it could very well be both... considering she and Alec both talked about Simon as 'it' in that scene (which, rude). So long story short, Izzy too has an active sex life.

Of course dating and casual hook ups isn't the same, but. Since of all known Shadowhunters there are apparently several with an active sex drive and associating with Downworlders is pretty frowned upon, associating with Mundanes is absolutely unacceptable because they can't know about the Shadow World and at least dating is apparently no problem between Shadowhunters, I find it pretty reasonable to assume that hook ups between Shadowhunters are fine as well.

(Taking into account that ��Nephilim love once, fiercely” it would make it even more logical that everything that's not True Love is casual, thus making it even more plausible that not-serious relationships between Shadowhunters aren't uncommon. I'm personally not a fan of that line (see here somewhere at the end if you're interested) but the line is canon and therefore deserves consideration.)

Conclusion: Downworlders aren't the only source for casual hook ups.

This, of course, brings up the question why Izzy would choose to hook up with Downworlders at all if she could bed other Shadowhunters just as easily, without commitment being an issue, especially because associating with Downworlders kinda ruins your reputation. When Maryse explains in 1x06 why Izzy can't take over marrying for Alec she says “You can't do this. You and your Downworlders have seen to that. You can't possibly attract the caliber of husband who could help us restore the honor to our family name.”

Of course Izzy is rebellious and doesn't care what other people think of her, but she's not stupid. She knows that falling out of favor with the Clave can have serious consequences and upholding the Lightwood Image is important, a calculated move, a leverage, an insurance. So why would she do it anyway, if it's not out of necessity?

Because it's political. She is very pro-Downworlder from the start, she's interested in their ways of life (that butterfly thing in 1x05) and she's against the narrow-minded, racist ways most Shadowhunters display. This explains why she is simultaneously more interested in Downworlders and less interested in Shadowhunters.

To claim that Izzy just dates Downworlders because it's easier (or because she's scared, which, again, pffffff) takes that whole political and revolutionary aim out of her character and that's just reducing this action to something self-oriented instead of something she does with the awareness that it sends a certain signal to Shadowhunters of her and the older generation. It's really not called for, contradicts canon in my eyes or at least doesn't really make sense, and I really don't like it.

Also, just something to think about while we're talking about Izzy's sex life, more specifically all her alleged Downworlder Conquests.

- Vampires: The fact that she asked Raphael in 2x10 if being a Vampire has made him uninterested in sex implies that she doesn't know being a Vampire doesn't necessarily equal no interest in sex, so she probably never hooked up with a vampire.

- Warlocks: Remember that flashback from 2x18 when Magnus said he'd loose all his street cred if his people found out he “let a Shadowhunter spend the night”? And we're talking about spending the night at his home, not sleeping together. Makes it sound as if Warlocks kinda hate Shadowhunters and want nothing to do with them. So it's probably not Warlocks either.

- Werewolves: Before Luke became the Alpha I got some seriously Anti-Shadowhunter-Vibes from the pack as well (still do, honestly, but because of Luke the pack mostly behaves) so I find it hard to imagine any of those wolves would be willing to hook up with a Shadowhunter. Then again, Maia hooked up with Jace and she doesn't really like him. Then again, this could be a Maia-thing.

- Seelies: Can we talk about the fact that Seelies are like the Sex Tourists of the Downworld? They seem to only leave the Seelie Realm to get their mack on. Anyway, I clearly remember that one Scene in 1x03 where this dialogue happens

Alec: Downwolders are slaves to their impulses.

which, to me at least, implies that Izzy first and foremost mingles with Seelies. This dialogue could of course be because she was with Meliorn at the time, but consider that while Alec had to marry, Izzy was declared the one and only Shadowhunter with “ties to the Seelies” who could possibly convince the Clave that the Seelies aren't on Valentine's side. If Meliorn was just the latest of her flings who happened to be a Seelie I don't think that would make a good enough argument with the Clave; also why wasn't Jace also considered a Shadowhunter with ties to the Seelies? Because I don't believe that Kaelie was the first ever Seelie Jace has been with.

- Mundanes: First off, Mundanes aren't Downworlders, so there is that. Secondly I honestly doubt she has a dating / sex / whatever history with Mundanes because the way she says “Shadowhunters don't date Mundanes” in 3x04 sounds to me as if Charlie is the first Mundane she interacted with. It makes sense, because Mundanes aren't allowed to know about the Shadow World. (Simon in 1x02 was an exception because he was already involved in Shadow World business.)

Of course talking about “Seelies” or “Seelies and the occasional Werewolf” instead of “Downworlders” in that Scene mentioned at the beginning doesn't have the same nice ring to it, so I get why it was scripted that way. Still. Ugh.

[oncethrown]

2x13 Thought

Okay, I haven’t seen the episode yet, I just saw a few clips and read some commentary and I want to talk about patterns again:

It’s not awesome that Alec and Magnus experienced and at least partially addressed, if not completely resolved, a major issue in their relationship, kissed and then got panned away from so that Jace could get fucked in an alley. 

But last time I reviewed an episode, I mentioned that a lot of the sex scenes we’ve seen are set in fling type relationships?

There is one relationship on this show built on love, mutual respect, growing trust between naturally distrustful people, and just generally being competent adults in a committed relationship... and every time those two characters kiss more than three times in a row, either the plot interrupts them, or there is a fade to black. 

Meanwhile, we watch:

-Isabelle strip down to lingerie and climb into bed in heels because she is manipulating/buying information from the Melionr with sex. 

-Jace obviously in middle of foreplay with a completely nude woman, in a scene making a point about how he’s a self destructive mess who doesn’t know how to cope with being punished by the Clave, and isn’t getting help for what he just went through with Valentine

-Jace making what looks like (again, haven’t seen the whole ep yet) the absolute bare minimum in terms of amends, with a woman he has a very antagonistic relationship with, to the point where they have been in several serious physical fights, who is making it clear that this is not a serious thing, and he should not expect any of the emotioal support he needs to be getting from somewhere.

-Maia seeming to get off on the reversal of power a little as she shoves him around, and fucking the enemy in an alleyway... after he killed most of her pack and tried to follow the order to chip them all like dogs. 

And, just to add a little more to the pot, there are less extreme examples

-Simon fucks Maureen and we see them the morning after only so a very poorly acted dream sequence can drive home the point that he doesn’t actually like maureen

-Clary and Simon waking up in bed together so that they can have a scene where Simon doesn’t come clean to her about the dangers of being a daylighter, and Clary sets up a lie by omission about the big Jace reveal. 

-Isabelle and Raphael in heated kissing in a blissed out drug haze, who would have boned all night long if Raphael wasn’t asexual. And Raphael really truly caring about Isabelle is written as a bad thing, with a mutually destructive end point, and while they don’t actually have sex, everyhing about the yin fen addiction story line is crazy sexualized, to the point where Isabelle forcing Raphael to bite her reads as a rape. 

Like... to me the very clear message here is that sex is bad? 

People actually losing clothes, deep kissing and heading toward the smushing of booties is always written as self destructive. 

People waking up in the morning together, booties thusly smushed, have done a bad thing, and prove it to the audience by going on to lie or embarrass the person whose bootie they hath smushed. 

So... that’s fucked up enough... but then it gives this weird other flavor to the refusal to show Magnus and Alec do more than kiss standing upright and fully clothed, only theoretically booty adjacent  It’s almost like the logic of the writing is that Magnus and Alec not having sex is proof of love. 

But the flip side of that is that, in order to be written and filmed as a loving they have to maintain this ‘purity’. 

Obvious this is a huge slap in the face to an LGBT audience, this sort of coded slithery “just don’t shove it in our face” thing

But I also feel like this is super irresponsible for a show aimed at a young, predominantly female demographic. Like... love and sex do not necessarily have to be one and the same, and there’s nothing wrong with Isabelle having a casual thing with Meliorn, or Maia deciding the chemistry she has with Jace is worth taking him for a spin, or Dot not having the whole story about Magnus and Alec and leaning into a moment she misread...

...but like... giving Alec and Magnus a scene to move forward in Magnus’s process of forgiving Alec, and Alec’s process of unlearning toxic Shadowhunter shit, and letting them acknowledge issues they are going to need to continue to comfront during a relationship they are both clearly in for the long haul

and then lovingly, happily, romantically, consensually, respectfully, playfully smushing booties

should be a thing that fucking happens

[hiddlesgirl]

SH 306: A Window Into An Empty Room

This was another fantastic episode; as I have said before Season 3 is proving to be the best season so far, I have really liked (if not loved) every single episode and have only had very few small issues. We finally got drunk Alec but not in the way we expected, we won but at what cost? Maryse and Luke have some fantastic chemistry and I hope we see more scenes with them in the future. I love seeing Magnus and Biscuit team up, they have such a wonderful friendship. And I said last week, it’s all downhill from here!

I love that Simon and Kyle are testing out the mark; Simon need to be confident in having some ability to control or anticipate it activating, which we now know won’t activate if he evades the attack. It helps Simon, Kyle and the Praetor have confidence that they can control it and therefore reduce the risk of it hurting anyone else. 

Simon brings up having lunch with Maia which Kyle quickly evades; as I have said multiple times, I have not read the books but have read a lot of fanfic and seen a lot on twitter so I know that Jordan is Maia’s ex and the one who turned her. I feel bad for Simon because he seems to really like Kyle and they could be great friends, but knowing about Kyle and Maia’s history you know there is going to be a lot of upset and friction when that all comes out (which happens in 3x07 by the look of the promo). I also feel sympathy for Maia because she has heard about ‘Kyle’ from Simon and how he has helped him, so that built up image of him is going to shatter when she learns who he really is. Plus we know just how much she has been affected by what he did; soured their relationship with possessive behaviour, presumable stalked her because he attacked her after she had been on a date, turned her against her will, and then abandoned her to deal with it on her own. I predict that I am going to want to give Maia a million hugs next episode. 

Heidi is waiting for Simon in his apartment (stalker alert!) and drops the bomb about him being her sire due to his blood being on her lips when she died; I have to give massive props to Tessa for her portrayal, not only making Heidi seem creepy, but also desperate, delusional and vulnerable. She has been around vampires for several years and has probably built up this fantasy in her head that she would have this amazing bond and relationship with her sire, especially because of her family issues, so it is understandable that she has become fixated on that; that there is someone who will love her and be bonded to forever.

Simon is understandable freaked; he thought she was dead and he is not prepared to be a sire, he has only been a vampire himself for a little over two months plus he didn’t turn her willingly or knowingly. He has a lot of his own issues to deal with right now and doesn’t feel capable of helping someone else, practically a stranger, through theirs. Plus she is an un-dead physical reminder of one of his biggest mistakes he is spooked by her and what she represents, his loss of control.

When Simon tries to suggest she go to Raphael she becomes upset and agitated, I loved her delivery of the line ‘Your blood runs through my veins, you don’t get to just turn your back on me like I’m some stranger’, you can tell how much rejection from him would affect her. She has already experienced abandonment from her biological family and cannot face rejection from her sire, especially when she has pegged so much (her happiness) on him and their perceived relationship.

I absolutely loved the lighting for the Malec scene, it was so beautiful and gold (hinting at a future wedding? Those gold sheets weren’t an accident remember).  Magnus is pleasantly surprised with the delicious French toast Alec has made, he visibly hesitated one the first mouthful and no wonder after the stew disaster of 3x03; at least Alec can cook breakfast right? It is the most important meal of the day after all.

I’m glad I wasn’t drinking anything when Alec said ‘Maybe you should save the spatula I used for your little box’ because I would have spat it all over the floor; I giggled madly at the return of salty Alec. As much as his insecurities hurt I cannot help but laugh when he is being salty and petty, it reminds me of Season 1 Alec; it’s like his default setting whenever he’s hurt or annoyed and needing just spark a conversation.

Magnus welcomes conversation about his mementos because he doesn’t want Alec to bottle it up and suffer in silence; he would rather they talked it through than it become a rift that drives them apart. Alec says it’s his issue because it’s him who need to come to terms with the contents of the box and what it means for their future; he feels that it is something he has to deal with on his own because it is his insecurities that are making it hard for him to deal with it. He believes that as he ages he will become a burden to Magnus, that as he grows old their feelings for each other (more so Magnus’ feelings for him) may change and that he will become an obligation and a burden.

‘There is no universe where you would ever be a burden’ and I am crying; Magnus knows that his love for Alec will not change not matter how much Alec’s appearance may change, he loves Alec for who he is as a person, not for his looks or physical capability. Plus, Magnus has probably been with someone and watched them age before so he can be certain that his feelings won’t change as Alec does. Alec is not so sure, his lack of self worth is making him fear that as he ages Magnus will no longer love him; all he can see is himself, aged and feeble, next to Magnus who is still young and beautiful. He cannot visage Magnus staying with him at that point, he fears that Magnus will no longer desire him and leave him; or will stay with him out of obligation.

Magnus then suggests that Alec might be having a hard time processing because it is his first relationship; he makes the point that every relationship is complicated and he may be less daunted if he had, had at least one other relationship. He thinks that Alec may be less daunted by their relationship issues if he had been in a relationship before them. If he had experienced the difficulties and complexities that come with every relationship he may have been able to deal with their issues better. Magnus himself has a lot of relationship experience, so whenever they have an issue he can come at it from a place of knowledge and deal with it relatively calmly; whereas Alec’s just trusts his gut and ‘wings’ it. So you can understand where Magnus is coming from but I don’t necessarily agree with him because the immortality is such a big issue that even if you had been in a previous relationship it is still going to be a huge thing to process and deal with.

Alec, understandably, reacts badly; with sarcasm and anger. To him it sounds condescending and that Magnus is suggesting he should go have other relationships so that he can deal with their issues better. Alec is not overly daunted by their standard relationship issues because he knows that relationships take effort and people have issues; it is their future, the immortality that he is struggling with. He has so many fears about what their future will look like that it is hard for him to process that, realise that worrying about it will not stop it and they should enjoy every moment they have. He also believes that no amount of previous relationship experience would have made him better equip to deal with it. I just hope that it doesn’t take another life or death situation for him to realise that nothing is certain and to live in the moment instead of brooding on possible futures.

Alec finally bursts with ‘I’m not a child Magnus’, to him Magnus’ remarks sounded condensing, implying that his lack of experience was why he was reacting they way he is; implying that he is overreacting. Magnus snaps back ‘Then stop acting like one’ and that physically hurts because his immediate regret is enough to tell you that he didn’t mean it at all; he was just frustrated with the direction the argument was taking and that he couldn’t get his point across properly. They both failed to get their points across and only succeeded in upsetting each other. It is important that they talk about this issue but they both need to approach it a little more calmly and openly, Alec needs to lay out exactly why he is having an issue with it and Magnus needs to listen and reassure him.

Alec walked away because he was hurt by Magnus’ remark; it is the first time that Magnus has really said something that played into Alec’s insecurities about his lack of experience even if it was unintentional. Alec needed space and in the moment it was probably the best thing to do to stop it from escalating any further; they both need time to cool down and then come back to the issue later. Plus, even thought Magnus seems to want to apologise there was really no good way to talk themselves back out of that situation and the hole they had dug in the moment.

I really like that Alec confided in Izzy and is asking for advice; it shows how much he has progressed since Season 1 when he was very reluctant to open up about his feelings. He knows that talking about it will help him sort out his own thoughts but also getting an outside opinion may help him re-evaluate the situation.

However, Izzy is unable to offer any advice because she admits that part of her attraction to Downworlders was that those issues stopped it getting too serious. I really like that she has really thought about her previous relationships and putting a lot of thought into what she really wants. She does tell him that his relationship with Magnus is real and that if anyone can make it work they can; she has watched their relationship grow from the very beginning and knows the connection they have. She can see the love they share and knows that they will fight for each other, in the end their feelings will conquer their issues.

Their conversation is interrupted by a Shadowhunter trying to deny Maryse entrance to the Institute with Underhill fight her corner. It is confirmation that Maryse has been deruned and is no longer part of the Shadowhunter community; she tries to reassure Alec and Izzy that she is adjusting to her new life but it is obvious that she is struggling.

Clary tells Luke that she cannot find any information on the demon that attacked her in the archives and that she wants to tell people about it in an effort to get answers; she knows that this demon is a huge danger to them, it killed Ithuriel and anything that powerful needs to be dealt with quickly. Luke stops her; he doesn’t want her to get in trouble for using the wish knowing that the Clave will react badly once they find out the truth. We find out that Clary is under the impression that Jace is in the Silent City getting treatment.

We find out that he definitely is not in the next scene; Lilith tells him to bring her the last disciple (she already has 32). She then address him in a way that implies that Jace’s true consciousness is aware of what is happening but doesn’t have autonomy and is being forced to watch what’s happening, not being able to do anything to stop it. If that is the case you cannot help but feel a lot of sympathy for Jace, he is a prisoner in his own body; watching himself posses mundanes and do the bidding of a demon. He is going to be in a bad way once he is free of her control.

We also get confirmation that Lilith is going all out; she tells him that he will return to his friends dead and his world on fire at Jonathan’s hands. She is not pulling any punches and is going to destroy Jace’s world in revenge, making him live through her pain multiple times over. Anna is amazing, her delivery is so awesome, it gives you chills.

Lilith then kisses Jace and the red magic that transfers when Jace possesses mundanes passes between them. So it is safe to assume to that she imbues him with her magic, her power, which he then passes to the mundanes which is why she can feel it when they die (as seen with Tim). It was cool to realise who all that was happening but in my opinion the kiss was more full on and drawn out more than it needed to be; I was literally asking it to stop. Just those first few seconds, the magic transference and lips connecting a bit would have been enough; we didn’t need it to go on like it did, even if it was a wide shot.

Poor Simon only seeing the best in people think that Raphael turned Heidi to give her a life back because one of his clan killed her; poor innocent, wonderful Simon. Maia makes him realise that when he turned he had people there to help him through and Heidi doesn’t, she is alone and is obviously not coping very well. She tells him that it’s hard when the person who made you abandons you; she knows from personal experience just how hard it is to cope with your new life when you are left to figure it out and fend for yourself.

Simon, realising Heidi’s side of the situation, tells her she’s right; he knows that he was lucky to have people who loved him to help him and acknowledging that not everyone has that. He realises that he cannot turn his back on Heidi, he doesn’t want her to suffer because of him and wants to help her adjust to her new life.

Maryse tells Izzy that Max is doing better in LA, it’s good to know that he is recovering from Jonathan’s attack but I assume that we are not going to see him for a while; I just hope that when we do see him he has followed in his mother’s footsteps and apologises to Magnus for his behaviour at the party in 2x08; yes I know he’s a child but he needs to acknowledge that his behaviour towards his brother’s partner was not acceptable (I’m still bitter ok).

Izzy prompt Maryse to talk truthfully about how she is dealing with her new life, ‘Mama, we said no more secrets, you don’t have to hide how you feel’. I absolutely melt when Izzy calls her Mama, and I’m not even sure why, it’s just so soft. Izzy wants to maintain this new honesty between them, to continue this new, healthier and more loving relationship between them. She can tell that Maryse is hurting and doesn’t want her to suffer in silence.

Maryse reveals that she feels lost, her whole life she has been a Shadowhunter, dedicated her life to the Clave; now it has all been ripped away from her. Her purpose, her career is all gone; it’s like she has lost her anchor, she doesn’t know who she is anymore. She isn’t a Shadowhunter, all her runes are gone, and she has no idea how to lead a mundane life; she is drifting between two worlds and not knowing where she fits into it.

Izzy is visibly upset, that could have been her fate in Season 1 if not for Magnus being her lawyer, and Clary bringing the Mortal Cup back; she hates to see her mother this way. Maryse has always been strong and sure, but now she is vulnerable and trying to redefine who she is. Izzy reassures her that she is still strong, brave and beautiful; and that she isn’t alone, she has four kids who love her.

Maryse asks to meet Charlie, she saw how brightly Izzy smiled when he text her; she told Izzy to fight for love and wants to see her happy. She knows that anyone who can make Izzy smile like that is special and she wants to be supportive from the beginning.

Ollie and Luke discuss trying to locate one of the Owl targets in order to lead them to the Owl and its master. Ollie seems to be having issues with Sam; Luke tells her to make sure Sam knows that she is the most important thing in her life. This pulls at my heartstrings because he is looking at a picture of himself, Clary and Jocelyn; he knows that he didn’t make Jocelyn feel as important in his life as she was and regrets the time they lost because of his dedication to his job. Which may also be why in the past few episodes we have seen him really make the point to Clary how important she is; he doesn’t want to lose her too and needs to make sure she knows how important she is to him.

Jace is interrupted from his search for a virtuous mundane by Alec who is ‘out taking a walk’; it is clear that the argument with Magnus is really weighing on his mind and he is really trying to process everything. Jace tells him that he has already completed his treatment and is clear for duty; when he tries to ask Alec about his walk he says ‘forget about me, I’m glad you’re feeling better’. I know that we cannot blame Jace for not pushing because he is not in his right mind; but it is really distressing and annoying that Alec always puts himself and his feelings on the back-burner with Jace. He always brushes off his problems, Jace is his parabatai and he should feel able to confide in him it upsets me that he doesn’t feel he is able to do that.

Back at the Institute we get solid confirmation that the elixir has worked because Jace brushes Clary off completely; I have to give Dom props for his acting with Kat, there really was no affection in his gaze or body language, a complete change from previous episodes, a very good performance.

Simon arrives at an old abandoned factory believing that he is meeting Raphael, instead he gets Heidi who is playing his music again and has a romantic table set up. She tells him what Raphael did to her, and again it becomes clear that she has pinned everything on him; during her torture it was the thought of him that kept her going. She tells him that his hesitancy to hurt her at the bleeder den was the first time anyone had shown any type of care towards her; it makes you sympathise with her. For someone who has never had anyone to care for her it is understandable that she would latch onto the first person who showed her any.

He tells her that he is there for her, he hates the part he played in her situation and doesn’t want to make it worse by abandoning her, especially after what Raphael did to her; she really does only have him at this point. He pulls away when she tries to kiss him telling her he has a girlfriend; he wants to be there for her but needs her to understand that it’s not in a romantic way. Everyone gets nervous when she asks what his girlfriend’s name is, you can tell she does not have good intentions in mind; Simon quickly leaves.

Magnus, not recognising the demon that attacked Clary, taps into the energy signature it left behind and realises that it is the same one that corrupted the ley line; they are chasing the same demon. His quickly sends a fire message to a contact that may be able to help them. Clary hesitates when she mentions Jace and I melt when Magnus calls her Biscuit, I adore their friendship. She tells him about Jace’s strange behaviour, she is scared that his treatment may have affected him in other ways; after everything they have been through together she doesn’t want to lose him and this afternoon has shown her what that would look like.

Magnus tells her that sometimes people just need space and time, he knows from his own troubles with Alec that sometimes people need time to themselves before they can open up to others. He receives a message; Brother Zachariah is willing to meet them that night.

Simon is panicking as a result of his visit with Heidi and has informed Kyle of the situation who wants them to go into hiding. Maia refuses, she has work and is not going to run and hide; she is not going to let Heidi interrupt their lives. Simon is clear scared  by Heidi’s demeanour (who can blame him) and he could smell fresh blood while he was there (which would have been the person she had swinging from the ceiling); he knows that Heidi likes being a vampire, is not afraid to kill and doesn’t want to underestimate her, especially if it puts Maia in danger.

Maia tells him that if Heidi comes for her she’ll be sorry; Maia is capable of defending herself and wants to reassure Simon that he doesn’t need to be scared. She is touched by his concern but is not willing to hide or disrupt her life because of a vampire who can’t take no for an answer.

At the Hunter’s Moon Maryse is worried about embarrassing her children because other Shadowhunters are gossiping about her and she doesn’t want it to affect them; she doesn’t want their reputations to be compromised due to her excommunication. She knows how hard they have worked to gain respect and their positions at the Institute and doesn’t want her situation to jeopardise any of that. She hopes that her new life and what other people think about her doesn’t affect how they see her; she has tried really hard to change herself to become a better person, especially for her children, and doesn’t want that to be compromised by other people.

Alec and Izzy reassure her that no matter she is their mother and they stand by her; they need her to know that they will always be there and love her. They know that she regrets the actions that lead to her excommunication and that she is making changes to herself to better herself and unlearn years of prejudice. They love her and are not going to turn their back on her now; they will be there to support her as she navigates her new life and will continue to provide love and support.

Maryse says that the silver lining is that she will get to spend more time with them; she has always loved her children but it has been overshadowed by her duties and devotion to the Clave. Now that she is free of that she can spend her time as she wishes, she can dedicate more time to her children and be a bigger part of their lives. I love that she asks after Magnus, it shows just how far she has come since Season 1 when she could barely stand the sight of him; now she has accepted him into her family and her life, it’s beautiful to see and I hope we get some more interactions between the two of them.

Alec and Jace are surprised that Izzy’s new boyfriend is a mundane as her past lovers have all been Downworlders and I love Maryse’s proud ‘he’s a doctor’; it is so well delivered, I also love her line ‘Oh, Isabelle, he is handsome’ it makes me giggle and yes Maryse, yes he is. Then I proceed to shout ‘No’ at the screen when Charlie has a glowing golden aura which signifies that he is virtuous and is a viable candidate for Lilith.

Alec receives a text from Magnus saying that he is busy with a client, so he cannot make it; Alec excuses himself to go to the bar and we know exactly where this is heading, he is gonna get drunk. We have been longing for drunk Alec since Todd first hinted it but unfortunately it is not the happy, flirty Alec we were hoping for; it’s a bitter, sad Alec (we won but at what cost?!). I also wonder if he may feel a little guilty for getting drunk because he assumed Magnus was blowing him off when he learns that Magnus was actually chasing an important lead with Clary. Yes, you could make the point that why didn’t Magnus just tell him he was with Clary; but Clary probably told Magnus that she hadn’t told anyone else about his demon and is putting her trust in him which he would not want to betray. Plus there would have been nothing that Alec could have done to help them, Magnus did not want to pull him away from time with his family or make him fret about a situation he could do nothing to help with.

I love that Underhill refers to Magnus as Alec’s better half; we found out that Underhill and Magnus will meet at some point, and I am curious how it is going to play out. Will he be respectful and kind as he has been with Alec, or will he be a bit of a Magnus fan (think Lydia)? It will be interesting to see them interact. Alec’s face when he says Magnus is ‘Busy’ absolutely kills me; I paused it for one of my screenshots and spent five minutes laughing at his expression.

I love the little wave shared between Izzy and Simon, it is adorable and I really like their friendship; Maia tells him to go see his friends. Simon, however, is unwilling to leave Maia’s side in fear of Heidi showing up; he doesn’t want to let his guard down until he knows for sure that Maia is going to be safe. I love Maia so much, she doesn’t need his protection but she acknowledges how much Heidi has spooked him and isn’t going to upset him by pressuring him to leave her side. I love her line ‘You should try blinking, you’re starting to freak people out’; it helps lighten their mood and help Simon relax a little. I love their relationship so much.

Luke appears at the Lightwood table to talk to Maryse, reassuring her that he isn’t here to rub her excommunication in her face; he would never make anyone feel belittled or humiliated, especially when he knows just how difficult their situation is, he isn’t spiteful. He tells her that he understands what she is going through and how difficult it is to adjust, he had to go through the same adjustment after he turned; he knows how lost she is feeling and how daunting it is to have to find a new life and reinvent yourself. He promises her that her is there for her if she needs help adjusting to her new life; he had to figure out his new life with a very limited support system (pretty much just Jocelyn I think) and doesn’t want her to go through that too.

Maryse knows that she acted shamefully towards Luke in the past and clearly regrets it, she is trying to make amends for her past behaviour but it pleasantly surprised with his open gesture of support. She says that this is an opportunity for a new beginning, a chance to be a better person; she wants to change and acknowledges her past faults, now that she is away from the Clave and the toxic affect it had on her life she can start fresh.

They reminisce about the Accords Ball in Idris 20 years ago, Luke says that she looks just as lovely now as she did back then; Maryse is clearly surprised by the compliment and Luke seems a little bashful too. I adore this scene and their flirty behaviour towards the end; I love their chemistry, cannot wait for more scenes between them and I definitely ship them, they both deserve more love in their lives (even if it does start out more platonic then develops into romantic). Some people may say that it is too soon after Jocelyn who only died about 6 weeks ago, which may be true but storyline wise so much has happened since then that it seems so much longer. Plus, they are probably not going to jump straight into a romantic relationship, Luke is still mourning and Maryse is recently divorced, but it will be lovely to see them get to know each other all over again and watch their connection develop over time. Think slow burn, like Sizzy.

Clary asks Magnus is he’s ok, she can tell that he is not his usual self and something is bothering him; she knows that she has been focused on her own problems but makes sure he knows that she is there for him too. I know that Jace is under Lilith’s influence right now but for future reference, Jace take notes from your girlfriend on how to be there for your friends, not just focussing on your own problems all the time (yes, I’m still bitter that Alec never confides in him and Jace doesn’t open a conversation for Alec).

Magnus tells her that he and Alec had a bad fight, said things they didn’t mean; he knows that their argument got out of hand and they both became agitated too quickly. Clary says ‘I’m sorry, but there is nothing you two can’t work through’; I love this parallel to the scene between Alec and Izzy. Clary, like Izzy, has seen their relationship develop and seen how strong they have become; she knows that they love each other so much and they will work through their issues together as they always do.

SPOILERS FOR NON-BOOK READERS

We meet Brother Zachariah; he is an important character to the book fans before he was a brother he was known as Jem Carstairs, Will Herondale’s Parabatai, it will be interesting to see how they incorporate him and his story into the plot in future now they have introduced him. Also, I wonder if he may come up in a conversation between Alec and Magnus because Magnus’ friend Tessa is a warlock who fell in love with both Jem and Will, then later married Will; they stayed together for 60 years until he died. So it could come up between them because Magnus knows someone who loved, married and outlived a Shadowhunter.

END OF SPOILERS

It will be interesting to learn why Zachariah does not look like the other Brothers and I hope that we do find out at some point. He gives them some texts that may contain information on the demon they are looking for, but he says that the Botherhood cannot know he helped them; which proves that he must consider Magnus a good friend for him to go against the Brothers in order to help him, I would love some more back story at some point besides just that they both were close with Will Herondale. Also, once Jace is himself again this may be an opportunity for back story; for Magnus to tell Jace about his ancestor. Zachariah also tells them that Jace did not arrive at the Silent City for treatment.

I love the scene between Izzy and Simon; she knows that she con confide in him and also offers to listen to his problems, they have a wonderful friendship. She tells him that she wants to do more to help her mom, she knows that Maryse is struggling with adjusting to her new reality and doesn’t feel like she is doing enough to help. Simon opens up about his mom, that when she was having issues just being there was enough; letting her know that he was there to support, help and love her. That Maryse knowing Izzy is there for her is enough; she kisses his cheek, she appreciates his honest advice and knows that she can depend on him.

Alec, now completely drunk, declines the offer of playing pool with Underhill; playing pool has become his and Magnus’ thing. We get confirmation that Magnus is at least 800 years old, not the estimated 300 that Hodge told them in Season 1. Drunk Alec, even sad drunk Alec, is adorable and I have to give Matt props for his acting; it was very authentic and he didn’t over play it.

Heidi, believing her to be Simon’s girlfriend, attacks Izzy which is definitely a bad move because Izzy is a very capable badass. Simon interrupts before the fight can get too nasty telling Izzy that Heidi isn’t in her right mind because of what Raphael did to her; you can completely understand Simon defending her. He knows that she has been through a lot and has become unhealthy fixated on him as a result; he doesn’t want to see her unduly punished when there is a chance for him to help her.

He persuades Izzy to let him deal with her; the Clave would kill Heidi for attacking the mundane which would not be fair to her, all fledglings have trouble controlling their urges and it must be worse for Heidi who had no moral guidance.

Underhill has taken Alec outside to find a cab to take him back to the Institute, Alec opens up a little; telling Underhill that he and Magnus had their first date at the Hunter’s Moon. That they never got around to answering the question if they were too different to be together; Alec has all these doubts in his head and I am glad that he is talking to someone about it. With Underhill he isn’t under the pressure to be perfect that he feels with his family (no matter how false it is), he feels that he can unload a little especially in his inebriated state.

Underhill tells Alec that Magnus may not understand their ways ‘Nephilim love once. Fiercely’; he may have a point, Magnus knows Shadowhunters but never romantically before so he may not understand that for many Shadowhunters they only have one great love. If he did he may not have worded his comments about experience in quite the way he did; he has loved many times so may not understand the belief of only having one love in your life. He tells Alec that whatever he feels is ok and not to be too hard on himself; I like this because it is reassuring Alec that his feelings are valid and he shouldn’t pressure himself to feel a certain way.

Another thing that makes me believe that nothing will happen between Alec and Underhill (besides the fact that Alec would never betray anyone, let alone Magnus, that way) is that Underhill seems to be very respectful of their relationship. In their first conversation he complimented their relationship which sounds like he admired what they had and probably hopes to reach that with someone one day, he referred to Magnus as Alec’s better half and from what he just said he believes that Magnus is the one person that Alec will love in his life. He seems very respectful of Alec and his relationship with Magnus so I don’t believe he would ever disrespect them, or their relationship, by making a move on Alec.

I really hope we continue to see them develop a good friendship, and in some of Todd and the writer’s tweets about them include #friendsforever. So not only does that suggest, if not confirm, that nothing of a romantic nature is going to happen between them but also that they are going to develop a friendship; which would be great for both of them.

Ollie shows up Hunter’s Moon to talk Luke about a lead she found on the Owl’s targets; Luke tells her they will investigate in the morning and to go home to her lady. Ollie smiles and tells him to go back to his, meaning Maryse; I adore Ollie so much. Again we are yelling at Jace because Ollie also has golden aura.

Heidi is under the impression that Simon has chosen her and wants to start a clan of their own; you feel sympathy for her because all she seems to wants is someone to love her, a real family. Simon has organised Praetor’s to come collect her to be rehabilitated; although she may resent him at first and he may feel bad he has done the right thing. He was never going to be able to help her efficiently because of her obsession; she needs to be somewhere safe and where she can be taught how to be a responsible vampire.

Magnus and Clary portal behind the Hunter’s Moon; Clary is angry at Jace for lying to her, after everything they have been though and the secrets she has kept for him she believed that they were at least honest with each other. She feels betrayed that he has deceived her. When she says you don’t lie to someone you love I can understand where she is coming from, in a romantic relationship honesty is very important; but also it is a bit hypocritical, she loves Alec and Izzy as family and yet she has been lying to them. But at least the truth seems to come out next week, finally.

Magnus puts all the pieces together; telling Clary about the woman who requested the elixir, how he couldn’t put his finger on what was off about her. He figures out that she must be the same demon who attacked her but masking her power and disguised in human form. I knew that Magnus was smart enough to figure out that there was something wrong with her and I am glad he has put the pieces together quickly. I am also dreading the guilt he is bound to feel; despite the fact that she manipulated him and he had no way of knowing who she was, or what her real intentions were, he is going to blame himself for giving her the means to pull Jace further into her influence.

The Owl already has Ollie and is transferring power when Clary finds him; Magnus prevents him from attacking Clary but gets blown back himself, caught off guard by the magic he is wielding. Luckily Luke comes to the rescue by shooting him and it is revealed to them that it is Jace behind the mask; he flees and a possessed Ollie escapes. The last few minutes were a great whirlwind and I am so excited for next week.

Again, I really liked this episode; Season 3 has not disappointed at all, every episode is fantastic. I love the Magnus and Biscuit team up; I hope we see some more interaction between Luke and Maryse and I need Ollie to be ok.

I am not ready for seeing Magnus punish himself in guilt next week but on the upside we get the Malec hug inside the Institute.

Also, we are getting a double finale! Episodes 9 and 10 are airing on Tuesday May 15th (Wednesday May 16th on Netflix). I am not prepared!