#Random fun fact: Most of this was written quite a long while before the confession video | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bi-bi-buckleydiaz · 4 years ago

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dare night | owen joyner

requested; no, i got inspired while watching OTH for the hundredth time. but please request jatp or tom / peter things !!

words; 3.3K was not expecting it to be this long. kinda got away from me. also unedited I just wanted to get it out ;)

a/n; not me writing an OTH inspired fic for my new beau owen joyner...oop. anyway, hope ya like it. it is unedited because i just finished it and i really wanted to just get it out for y’all.

“I cannot believe I let you talk me into this.”

“C’mon Owen it’ll be fun,” Charlie says, excitement pouring from him like a golden retriever puppy. Owen sighs at his best friend before looking at the rest of his friends behind Charlie.

“Yeah, Owen, we’re only young once. And y’all only get Jadah and I unsupervised once in a blue moon, we have to appreciate that time.” The cast laughs as Madi smiles wide, probably more excited about this proclaimed ‘dare night’ than it’s creator. Speaking of...

“Listen, I already have the dare’s written up and I know you hate to waste paper.” Charlie’s practically pouting now, so Owen really can’t say no to that.

“Fine, let’s get this over with.” Everyone cheers as the final member takes his place around the kitchen island. The cast, minus Cheyenne of course because he’s “too old to partake in this. It’s a teens only event.” “We’re in our twenties Charlie.” “SEMANTICS!”, are gathered in Owen and Charlie’s apartment around their kitchen island, all waiting for their teams and dare card.

“The rules are simple, boys versus girls. Then you each split into teams of two -”

“But there’s an uneven amount on each team. Five against five.” Jadah points out, smiling at Charlie's small ‘shit’ and long sigh. He thinks for a minute before a metaphorical light bulb goes off above his head and he’s smiling again.

“Then a boy and girl will have to be together. Just split the points at the end.” Satisfied with the idea, everyone nods. No one misses the way Jeremy and Carolynn smile at each other.

“Now, you all have phones, you have to document one of you completing the dares either with a photo or a video. After the first dare is complete, you’ll get the second one. I’ve asked strangers around where your dare takes place to give you the next ones. They were very accommodating and are very excited to see y’all. We’ll all meet back here at midnight. Team that gets the most points, wins.” Charlie is practically vibrating by the time he’s finished, proud of his little game he put together and that everyone is just as excited as he is, well, minus Owen of course. But that’s because he’s nervous about doing unknown dares in public. Sure he puts on this face of being quirky and cool and fun, doesn’t mean some things don’t scare him.

“So everyone, pick your partners, pick your card, and let the dares begin!” Madison and Jadah immediately jump for each other, Carolynn and Jeremy grabbing hands before Charlie is even done speaking. Savannah and Tori high give, Sacha and BooBoo look at each other and shrug, assuming the wonder twins will want to stick together. Everyone is shocked though when Charlie bounces over to Sacha and slings his arm around his shoulders, shooting Owen an apologetic look in the process.

“Sorry bro, but I think we both know if we go at this together we’ll get nothing done and, I’d kinda like the boys to win.” Madi covers her mouth and the confession while the rest laugh. Owen groans and then goes red when BooBoo shoots him a look.

“That was rude! I’m glad to be your partner BooBoo don’t get me wrong. Seriously, so excited.” Owen begins to panic and is set to keep babbling before BooBoo laughs and lightly punches Owen’s shoulder.

“Relax dude, let’s go kick some dare ass!” Everyone cheers and grabs a card off the table before rushing out the door to their respective vehicles, Madi managing to borrow her dad’s car for the night, thanking God that she passed her road test before season 2 started.

“So, what dare did we get?” Owen asks when he and BooBoo reach the car. He starts it up while BooBoo rips open the envelope.

“We...ooh no.” He starts to giggle before he can even finish. Owen can feel his heart start to race.

“Oh no, what’d we get?”

“Hehe we, ha, we have to return some clothes...” Owen let’s out a sigh of relief.

“That’s not too bad.”

“While wearing them,” BooBoo finishes. Owen freezes.

“Excuse me!?” BooBoo breaks into a loud laugh at Owen’s shock, handing him the card in the process. “No way! Is Charlie insane?” What the hell was he thinking? What if someone recognizes him while he’s taking off a shirt to return it? Wait, why is he the one doing the returning?

“No. Nope. No way, we lose this point. What’s the next one?” BooBoo is still laughing as he shakes his head.

“You heard Charlie, we only get the next one if we complete this one.” Owen groans, accepting his fate.

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

“Believe it drummer boy. Especially since you’re gonna be the one doing it.” Owen whips his head towards BooBoo, almost breaking his neck in the process.

“No way. Dude, no. Way.” Owen is ready to get on his knees and beg.

“Um, well, the sizes are on the card and they match you,” BooBoo says, watching Owen begin to pout and accept his fate. BooBoo would feel bad if he didn’t think this was going to be a hilarious night. “C’mon, get driving.” Owen groans once more before driving away, accepting his fate that this night will be a wreck.

~ ~ ~

Shopping alone is boring.

Y/N asked friends, obviously, but they were all busy doing something or someone, so she was left alone to shop for christmas gifts. Sure it’s early, like, two months early, but she learned a long time ago that when you live alone as a young adult, living paycheck to paycheck, it's best to shop for gifts in increments and not all at once near christmas time. So here she is, shopping alone in a mall near the stores closing times because that’s the only time she can spare.

It’s not all bad, late night shopping means not a lot of people in the mall and those who are here are strung out college kids like here. Sure there have been some creepy guys eyeing her up and down, but when she felt those looks she made it clear to go to a store that had security in front of it, even if that meant staring longingly and things she can’t afford.

Y/N’s about half an hour into shopping for her niece and nephew when she hears a commotion on the other side of the clothing store. She quickly glances over then looks back to the shirt she was admiring, before realizing what she saw couldn’t be quite right. She looks over again, and holy shit, her eyes weren’t deceiving her. There really is a guy at the cash register shirtless and in the middle of taking his pants off.

Y/N takes back her previous statement, shopping alone is so not boring.

It’s then she notices a security guard enter the store, hand on the walkie talkie on his shoulder. There’s no way that’s going to end good. She doesn't know why she does it, but one second she was holding a shirt for her nephew and the next she's pushing the rack of clothes in front of the guard and grabbing the near naked and guy and running. She hears a camera snap behind her and a ‘hey wait up’ but all she’s really focused on is getting the guy out of the mall before he’s arrested for public indecency or something.

The hand in hers tugs her to stop just before the reach the mall doors, making her halt in her running. She looks back and ‘woah, he’s pretty.’

“Hey, not that I’m thankful but, my friend...” Pretty eyes trails off and he takes in a breath and wait, when did she start calling him pretty eyes. No! He’s a stranger.

“Yeah well, your friend isn’t the one half naked in the mall getting chased by security.” He ponders it for a minute then nods. “So let’s go. I promise i’m not gonna murder you, just gonna take you to the parking lot so you don’t get arrested for public indecency and end up on the sex offender registry.” Pretty eyes get’s scared at that and then begins to nod vehemently.

“Yeah, yeah that’s bad. Lets go!” As he says that, security appears behind them. She grabs his hand and they book it out of the mall and into the shockingly cold autumn air. She doesn’t know where this guy’s car is so she leads him to hers, praying she’s not making a mistake.

~ ~ ~

Owen doesn’t know how he ended up here. He remembers putting the clothes that were in the locker on and he remembers going to the first store and returning the shoes, but after that he thinks the adrenaline kicked in and he blacked out from it. One minute he was taking his pants of trying not to die of utter embarrassment and the next, some girl was dragging him out of the mall and to her car in the parking lot. He doesn’t know why he let this stranger drag him out of the mall, but he’s not really complaining as she shoves him into the back of her car, away from prying eyes. He only begins to panic when she climbs in next to him and shuts the door. Once the silence settles around them does reality finally settle in and does he realize what he actually just did.

“Holy shit. Holy shit what did I do! Oh my God that could have ended so bad! Oh my God!” He panics for another minute before a hand settles on his bare shoulder.

“Hey. Hey! You’re fine. They didn’t follow us out, you’re not getting in trouble.” Her voice is soothing, he’ll admit, and he can feel the anxiety begin to ease back. But it doesn’t change the fact that he was just half naked in the mall where anyone could have recognized him and taken pictures. Granted, Charlie did think about that and put a random blue baseball cap and glasses in the bag of clothes too. But still, that’s like, nothing! He goes to grab his phone to check instagram before realizing he’s only in his underwear. In a random girls car. In a Vancouver mall parking lot. She seems to realize this at the same time because she clears her throat and scooches to the other side of the car.

“Um, do you, do you like, have clothes or something I can go retrieve or...” He nods and goes to give her the key to the locker, then remembers, no pants. They chuckle at the same time and looks down at her purse, rummaging through it for her phone. He takes it from her with a small ‘thanks’ hoping his cheeks aren’t showing how flushed he feels. He quickly dials BooBoo’s number, giving him the details of what went down, asking the girl where they are and reporting it back to him, then hangs up.

“Um, thanks. For that. And for saving me from being arrested. That was, thanks.” The girl giggles and nods. “I’m Owen, by the way. I don’t normally run around malls in my underwear.” He sticks his hand out, hoping she’ll take it and give a name in return. He’d really like the pretty girl's name.

“I’m Y/N. I don’t normally take random, half naked strangers to my car.” He laughs at that and they shake hands.

“Well, thanks for making an exception.” They stare at each other for another few seconds before a knock on his window makes them break apart. He looks over and sighs in relief at BooBoo and his clothes in his hand. He opens the door and jumps out, taking the clothes from BooBoo and immediately shoving his legs into his pants. The girl get’s out after him, smiling at him balancing on one foot and trying not to fall over.

“Thanks, for saving him. No hard feelings for leaving me in the dust.” BooBoo smiles as he says it so Owen hopes the girl doesn’t take it too harshly. She laughs though and, woah, that’s a nice laugh. He’s so focused on her smile and the way she says her name that he puts his shirt on backwards. He doesn’t notice until BooBoo points it out, laughing as he does. When Owen is properly dressed again, he takes a deep breath and leans against the car.

“When I see Charlie, I’m gonna murder him. We’ll have to film the rest of the season without him. Kenny can deal.” Owen only realizes what he’s said when BooBoo shoots him a look. Y/N looks at the two in confusion, before looking back at Owen.

“You’re an actor?” He nods and watches as her face goes from confused to angry. “And you got undressed in a mall? How stupid are you?” She punctuates the last sentence with punches to his arm. BooBoo giggles in true BooBoo fashion as Owen rubs his arm. He watches her take out her phone and he looks over her shoulder as she opens twitter. She goes to the search bar, pauses, and then looks up at him.

“Full name?”

“Oh um, Owen Joyner.” He watches her type it in and breathes a sigh of relief as nothing but Alex edits pop up. She tries Instagram next, then TikTok, and gets the same answers as before. Nothing about him being naked in a mall, just fan edits of him and him as Alex.

“You are so lucky no one saw you dude, your career would be over.” She says, closing her phone and putting in her pocket. “What were you thinking?” He can’t help but feel scolded and slightly cowers in response. She notices and immediately softens. “Sorry, I just met you, I shouldn't be so mean.” A pause. “But that was still really stupid.” BooBoo giggles and Owen shoots him a look before nodding and looking back at Y/N.

“Yeah but, it was a dare.”

“And you just accepted it?” Owen feels his cheeks go red and looks at his feet.

“Well, yeah. We wanna win.” Y/N giggles and looks between the two boys.

“Seriously? So what is this? Some sort of dare game night?” The boys nod, then BooBoo lights up and reaches into his pocket for the next dare.

“Speaking of, the cashier at the store gave me the next dare. Are you ready?” Owen groans and BooBoo takes it as an affirmative. He opens the envelope and quickly glances at Y/N before reading it aloud for Owen.

“Take a picture in a photo booth with a stranger.” Y/N glances at the card and sees words on the back too.

“There’s something on the back.” BooBoo flips it and begins to giggle again.

“No way. Oh man Owen.”

“Me! Why me? I just walked naked around a mall!”

“Because it’s asking you to kiss a stranger and my girl would kill me if I did this.” Y/N blanches at that and begins to slowly and hopefully discreetly back away from the two boys. But Owen catches her.

“Hey.” He looks nervous and begins to fiddle with his fingers. “You don’t have to! Obviously! I mean, you already saved me once, but, like I kinda know you now and you’ve already seen me shirtless...” He trails off and flashes puppy dog eyes at the girl. She huffs and groans and finally, “Fine. Let’s get this over with. Y’all better win this stupid game though.” Owen smiles bright and Y/N tries to ignore the butterflies in her stomach at the sight. She just met this boy for god sakes!

The three young adults head back into the mall to one of the strips that has a photo booth. BooBoo giggles as he all but shoves the two into the small area, singsonging a “good luck” before pulling the curtain closed.

Awkward silence falls over the two as they squeeze together on the small seat. They smile nervously at each other as they hear BooBoo drop coins into the slot outside.

“Um, so, do you wanna like -”

SNAP!

They giggle and look at the camera with smiles in time for the next one.

SNAP!

Y/N looks back at Owen and, in a moment of confidence, grabs Owen’s shirt and brings his face closer to his.

SNAP!

He glances at her lips, licks his own, then they’re kissing. His lips are soft and she sinks into him. She feels his tongue lick her bottom lip and almost lets a moan slip as she opens her mouth a bit for him. They don’t even hear the last snap, too caught up in each other. Her hands move to his hair and his hold her hips tight. They break for air eventually, eyes closed as they breathe in and giggle.

“That was um...” Y/N nods. “Yeah. That was, yeah.” She feels him tilt his head towards her again for another kiss, but the curtain opening pulls them apart. They jump apart, as much as they can in the small booth, and stare at BooBoo like they were caught doing something bad. He’s smirking and shaking the photo strip in his hands.

“Oh yeah, we’re definitely winning.” Owen breathes out a laugh and Y/N nods, taking BooBoo’s offered hand to help her out.

“Um, I better, go, yeah, I should go. I hope you guys, uh, win or something.” Y/N hikes her purse up her shoulder and begins to walk away, eyes on her feet and hands shaking as they go into her pockets. She’s almost to the exit when a hand wraps around her upper arm.

“Hey wait up!” Owen. “Um, I just, that was, that was something right? I wasn’t imagining that? That was like, could I have um, number? Could I have your number?” He’s stuttering, face red and hands shaking in his pockets. Y/N has to giggle, feeling a bit calmer knowing she’s not the only one who’s feeling something.

“Yeah, that was number worthy.” They smile while exchanging numbers, then keep smiling as Owen leans and kisses her cheek.

“Thanks for saving my ass twice tonight,” he whispers in her ear before leaning back. Y/N nods and begins to back away.

“Yeah well, it’s a pretty nice ass.” With that she turns and practically runs back to her car, not believing what a night it's been.

~ ~ ~

“And we’re tied! Although, there is one more dare on the table.” Charlie giggles, knowing exactly what it is, saving for last for a reason. Carolynn swipes it off the table before anyone else can, ripping it open and smiling at the words.

“Kiss a member of your team.” She sees Jeremy smile and buff up, getting ready for smooch from his wife since they were partners. Carolynn smiles and leans towards him, before quickly grabbing Tori’s neck and giving her a chaste kiss on the lips. Everyone laughs and cheers, Jeremy pouting at his girl while she grabs his hand.

“Well then, unless any of the boys kissed a stranger in a photo booth, the girls win.” BooBoo goes to raise his hand, but Owen stops him. BooBoo shoots him a look but Owen shakes his head, hoping he gets why. Why he doesn’t want to mention Y/N. Sweet, life-saving Y/N who didn’t even know who he was or hell, who BooBoo was. Who just saw a random guy in need of saving and didn’t think twice about helping him. BooBoo lets it go, and Owen nods a thanks. He cheers for the girls as they accept their win, hand rubbing the picture strip in his pocket, and mind preparing a text to Y/N as soon as he can escape to his room.

Maybe dare night wasn’t such a bad idea.

#owen joyner #owen patrick joyner #owen joyner imagine #owen joyner fanfiction #owen joyner x reader #owen joyner x fem!reader #owen joyner x y/n #owen patrick joyner imagine #owen patrick joyner x reader #imagine #fanfiction #owen joyner fluff #fluff

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loafaethernaut · 3 years ago

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Yes greysam

But also misty/marlton

You��ve got it! I’ll do Misty/Marlton in a separate post, but for now here’s some more GreySam shipping HCs!

• Who said “I love you” first

This was actually a hard one, but I ended up concluding that it would be Elizabeth. She’d let it slip out on accident during one of her signature rambles. Once she realizes it she’d get super nervous and flustered and start fumbling over her words even worse, until Sam reassures her by gently pulling her close and telling Elizabeth that she loves her too.

•Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background

Obviously this one would be some in some kind of modern AU, and it would definitely be Elizabeth. Mostly by default because I imagine Sam would still have a dangerous job in intelligence and she probably wouldn’t have a phone or a consistent phone she could do that with. Elizabeth’s background would definitely be a photo of Sam and Notso.

•Who leaves notes written in the fog on the bathroom mirror

I’m gonna break the rules for this one and say both, but mostly Sam. I think Elizabeth would leave like, little hearts or smiley faces, and based on the in-game intel I HC that Grey knows how to crack most ciphers so I imagine that Sam would leave full on coded messages. Sam can be a bit more expressive about certain things in writing than she can verbally, so I feel like she leaves a lot of cutesy notes for Elizabeth in coded messages such as “you’re so beautiful” or “I love you so much”. Sam might also leave notes in different languages depending on which ones Elizabeth knows as well.

•Who buys the other cheesy gifts

This one would depend on the context. During Sam’s time at Requiem, it would definitely be Elizabeth. However if we’re going with like a post-Cold-War-canon setting I would say Sam for sure. I imagine she still has her powers so Elizabeth can expect random presents appearing at her desk or in her lab at any given moment. Especially if Sam’s ever in the field for long periods of time, she’ll always seem to know whenever Elizabeth is missing her more than usual. Her desk is filled with little kick-knacks from all over the world (and maybe even different dimensions?) and Elizabeth likes to play with them/fidget with them whenever she’s feeling really anxious or needs to think hard about something.

•Who initiated the first kiss

I think that Elizabeth was the first to give Sam a kiss on the cheek (and she wasn’t wearing her heels so she had to stand on her tip-toes a little bit) but Sam definitely initiated the first kiss on the lips. Elizabeth was probably trying to confess her feelings to Sam and kept fumbling over her words and Sam figured it was the most efficient solution to ease Elizabeth’s worries and confess her own feelings all at once. She didn’t cut Elizabeth off either, she gently cupped Elizabeth’s face in her hands and waited for the other’s anxious words to trail off before she leaned in and kissed her- making sure they were each comfortable with what was happening.

•Who kisses the other awake in the morning

Sam is a military-trained early riser, and Elizabeth is… not a morning person. Sam honestly has no idea how Elizabeth has ever made it to work on time before she came along, or whenever she’s away. She’s found that the best strategy to awaken the grumbly scientist is to make her coffee ahead of time and set it on the nightstand before tenderly peppering Elizabeth’s face in little kisses until the other can’t help but wake up giggling and blushing. In the event that Elizabeth is already half-awake and won’t allow Sam to leave the bed and make coffee without whining in protest, Sam will resort to wrapping up Elizabeth in their comforter and carrying her to the kitchen so that they can stay together while she makes the coffee/breakfast.

•Who starts the tickle fights

This was the easiest one. Elizabeth starts them, and Sam finishes them. The former is always careful about it though- only when they’re home alone and only if Sam’s feeling well enough for it. That being said the tickle fights usually end with Sam letting out a little growl and scooping Lizzie up into the air- sometimes even with just one arm.

•Who asks if they can join the other in the shower

This one was a little tricky- I feel like the most common scenario is Sam going to take a shower and asking Elizabeth if she’d like to join her. Another thing I thought of was the mirror-fog idea from earlier- Sam leaves Elizabeth a little note in the fog that says “Knock on the shower wall three times if you’d like me to join you”.

•Who surprises the other in the middle of the work day with lunch

Not necessarily a “work day” but before at Requiem Elizabeth would usually bring lunch for Sam during her own lunch breaks. But in a post-canon setting, Sam will do that frequently for Elizabeth. The former BND agent took the time to memorize and learn the patterns of what foods Elizabeth tends to like on certain days- and Elizabeth is always pleasantly surprised every single time, no matter what.

•Who was nervous and shy on the first date

While Sam was probably feeling a little out of her element and nervous taking Elizabeth out on a date, her nerves quickly faded away once she saw how beautiful the other looked. Elizabeth on the other hand was probably an adorable gay mess with her little nervous rambles cranked up to eleven. Sam most likely took them somewhere fun to try and help Elizabeth ease up a little, like an arcade or an amusement park. By the end they were both laughing.

•Who kills/takes out the spiders

When I first thought about this one, I figured it would obviously be Sam- but then I remembered Elizabeth is a research biologist and most likely doesn’t have any issues with handling bugs. And while Sam is trained to handle anything in the field, there’s something about particularly large spiders that make her deeply uncomfortable- but she doesn’t quite remember or understand why (Zetsubou No Shima, anyone?). Elizabeth picks up on this right away and becomes the designated spider-remover.

•Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk

I HC that Sam doesn’t drink, and while Elizabeth doesn’t drink very often she’s a bit of a lightweight when she does. Sam does get very embarrassed by Drunk Lizzie’s antics, but she also finds them adorable and appreciates the fact that Drunk Lizzie is a very happy and goofy lovestruck drunk.

Hope you enjoy! This was a ton of fun and I’ll have the Misty/Marlton version up as soon as I can!

#cod zombies #samantha maxis #black ops cold war #call of duty #greysam #dr elizabeth grey #ask

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blu-joons · 4 years ago

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DATING BTOB A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Lee Changsub

A ⇴ AFFECTION

Changsub is always incredibly cuddly around him, it’s very much a habit of his to wrap his arms around you whenever you’re in reaching distance, he can’t help but have you as close as he can into him as often as possible.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

Your first meeting was all a bit of a misunderstanding, you caught Changsub pulling a funny face, presuming that he was doing it in your direction, pulling one back. It was only when you noticed a guy behind you, you realised it wasn’t actually at you, but Changsub was far too much of a tease to ignore what you’d done.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

It all ended up working in your favour though, and the two of you got to know each other well. Changsub ended up confessing how much he enjoyed getting to know you through a short song that he’d written. Music was his best way of expressing himself, and so he invited you over to his place one day, with plenty of instruments laid out in the living room, inviting you to sit down and listen to what he had to say.

D ⇴ DATES

His love for music often resonated into your dates as well, Changsub loved to take you to live gigs and other events in the city, whether it was music, a film, or even sometimes a comedy event, he loved seeing someone else go through the adrenaline of being on stage as he often experienced. You just tended to trust him and his suggestions on places that the two of you could go to, but they usually turned out to be a pretty good time anyway, with only a few minor hiccups along the way with some acts.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

Changsub had some old dating rumours which certainly played on his mind when the two of you began to get together. He was determined to keep you protected out of the vicious cycle that the Korean media could be, and make sure that you were sure that a relationship was something that you definitely wanted before things got too serious between you both. Changsub couldn’t help but worry, and also the last thing he wanted was to deal with the attention of a dating rumour once again.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

If there was one thing you learnt about Changsub quite early on in your relationship, it was that no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t hide whenever he was in a bad mood. It usually ended up working in your favour as you’d know when to steer clear of him and when not to start an argument because he was feeling pretty low. But if you managed to catch him off guard, then the bad mood would very quickly be very obvious to you, and once you’d been caught by his vents of frustrations, it was usually a pretty terrible loophole for you to find your way out of without the two of you arguing with each other first.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

Changsub was incredibly close with his family, which made you incredibly anxious to meet them all. You were terrified, putting off your first meeting for as long as you possibly could, until his sister’s birthday came around, and Changsub promised that you’d be in attendance without even asking you to join him.

H ⇴ HOME

You were quite quick to move into Changsub’s place, he loved having you there and the company that you brought. It was no fun for him to mess around in such a nice apartment all by himself, and so having you there to enjoy it with him was definitely something that he wanted sooner rather than later in your relationship.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

Changsub ended up being the first of the two of you to say, ‘I love you,’ on a letter that he wrote whilst BTOB were in the middle of a tour. He was far too nervous to ring you or say it in person, so at the end of a lengthy letter about all the adventures he’d been on so far, he signed it off with his name, and his confession too.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

Just like with his bad moods, it was very apparent to you too when Changsub would be feeling jealous too. His face always managed to give it away, how his eyes would narrow at whoever was making him feel jealous, and how he’d always poke his tongue against the inside of his cheek. Whenever you’d challenge him about it, he’d always vow that he wasn’t jealous, but as soon as you’d imitate the face that you saw him pulling across the room, he’d know the game was up and that he didn’t have a leg to stand on.

K ⇴ KIDS

You certainly felt the pressure from his family to start considering a family of your own quite soon into your relationship. They knew the two of you were great, and it was obvious to them all that the two of you were going to stick together, and with that, their minds instantly looked to kids. Changsub could often only apologise for how forward they were, assuring them it was something you’d think about when the time was right.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

Changsub had plenty of quirks and weird habits that meant there weren’t many times around him that you didn’t have a smile on your face. You never knew quite what to expect from him next, one minute he’d be serious and an adult, the next minute he’d be running around the place like a kid, trying to get you involved in all sorts of pranks and jokes on the other members. Changsub loved to enjoy himself and was more than happy in expressing himself and how crazy he could be without the fear of what others would think. All that mattered was that you loved and enjoyed the person that he was.

M ⇴ MISSING

Just like with many other stages of emotion, it was very clear to the group when Changsub was missing you on the road too. Of course, as with his jealous, he’d argue that he was fine, but the group hadn’t spent a decade together for no reason, they knew Changsub better than he knew himself sometimes. Eventually they’d manage to wear him down into admitting that he was struggling, but not before he made them all promise that they wouldn’t tell you how low he was feeling, because as he always told them, and you, the last thing he wanted to do was make the tour more difficult for you.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

Changsub loved to give you cute nicknames that he knew would make you blush. He was always coming up with new ones, sometimes very random, but each one always managed to get him a reaction out of you.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

He was obsessed with your eyes, he could always tell exactly what was going on and how you were feeling, usually just by the way that you looked back at him.

P ⇴ PDA

You could never expect Changsub to be normal with his affection in public, he loved to clown around, and would often play up to any cameras that were around too, knowing that the fans loved to see the two of you too. No matter what, it would always take you by surprise, and leave him scolded when you got home too.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

He’ll always make sure to check in and see how you are at various points throughout your day together. Your eyes are always a giveaway, so if you lie, then he’ll just keep asking until he gets the truth out of you.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

You’ll often find yourself falling asleep with your fingers tracing over Changsub’s tattoos, usually with him already fast asleep beside you. You’ll often doodle new ones too, tracing random patterns along his arm or his ribcage. Although he never lets on, the feeling of your fingers trailing along his skin is definitely a feeling that helps him sleep tonight, although he’s far too scared to admit that to you in person.

S ⇴ SEX

For the most part, Changsub is always incredibly loving when it comes to intimacy, he enjoys the moment and the adrenaline rush that comes with it. However, it usually isn’t long before he starts up with his usual antics, when he finds himself falling too deeply, he’ll come out with a joke or make a funny remark to try and make things a little less intense between the two of you, never quite knowing how to cope with the sudden passion.

T ⇴ TEXTS

If he can’t ask you in person how you’re doing, then Changsub will often text you instead. Although he never wholly trusts in your response, the fact that you responded alone is usually a good enough sign for him.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

More than anything else, Changsub loves that you’re someone who can really appreciate his sense of humour and give him somewhere to be himself. He never has to hide or pretend around you, because you love every part of who he is.

V ⇴ VACATION

It had been quite a while since Changsub got to spend some time with his family, and so when the chance to go away came around, he decided to create a huge trip for you, him, and his family too. It was also the perfect chance for you to get to know them more too, and another event that you couldn’t back out of.

W ⇴ WHINING

There were definitely times that Changsub would whine, whilst he didn’t crave attention, sometimes he just couldn’t help but want your eyes on him.

X ⇴ XXXXX

He would love nothing more than when he was able to tease you with his kisses, he loved to pull away just as you began to deepen a kiss, or tug gently against your bottom lip when you were busy in the hope that it would distract you from what you were doing and put your attention on him. However, if you ever did that to him, you could be guaranteed to be in big trouble with him, unimpressed by your antics.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his best friends, together you were the best possible team.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

The struggle was definitely real when it came to trying to wake Changsub up in the morning. You’d never known someone sleep as well as he did, often resorting to dangerous tactics to try and wake him up and get him out of bed.

---

Masterlist

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bluecloudious · 3 years ago

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Here's a little rant about Kits and Zanaz canon, cause I have quite a few thoughts that I dunno what else to do with and my head was aching really bad (and I wanted to get smth done), so I decided to share some of the ones that I've been debating for a while (It's pretty long, be warned):

The TL;DR is just the thought names, I guess.

Thought nr 1: They are 100 percent a couple, even in the first comic I posted of them.

I've been thinking about this a lot, whether they were just best friends who had crushes on one another, or if they were just straight up a thing and, yeah. They're just a couple and have been for a while. The written story is now the AU where Zani chickened out of confessing his feelings for so long that he finally was given a deadline. Comics are the canon and in that canon, they got together shortly after becoming agents. Zani occasionally flirts with other people, but that's just kinda a part of his personality and Kits has grown used to it. Their shipname is Kitzan.

Thought nr 2: Kits has no self-confidence.

In the meeting comic I tried to make it a bit noticeable how unhappy he is with himself, but even after transitioning, that fact has only slightly changed. He is his preferred gender now, but he still isn't confident at all about his looks, his voice or what he says, despite how much Zanaz tries to convince him that he's fine. The only thing Zanaz has managed to stop Kits from doing is actually being self-destructive aka Kits starved himself for a while (also hinted at in the comic). That's why he's way chunkier now- cause his body stopped trusting him and gained fat afterwards. All of this isn't really visible or audible in any of the comics, because Kits isn't vocal about it at all. Zanaz is the only person who really even knows it/cares about it. It's also the base for his mostly detail-less design compared to Zani- he's trying not to stick out.

Thought nr 3: They both have a body count

Yeah, they've both killed before, which, for the world they live in, isn't really surprising. It was all in self-defence, don't worry. The amount of rogue agents and grunts that decide to deviate in a violent way is a pretty big percent, so they've had to encounter quite a few of them. Zanaz' preferred weapon is of course the handgun/glock and is the more experienced/lethal of the two. Kits on the other hand is more proficient with knives, his main weapon being a shaving knife he got from Zani. He hasn't had to use it much, but the few times he has, we're pretty desperate. Zanaz also has a body count in the other sense too, but you could probably tell that much already.

Thought nr 4: I still do not think they'll have a happy ending

Sorry, but the happy ending Kits and Zanaz I drew are just a part of an AU as well. There is no malicious reason for why I think they'll die. They just happen to get the short end of the stick, just like most members of the A.A.H.W. We are talking about an agency that has at least three(four if you count that one incident with 2bdamned) very proficient people constantly killing staff. There are so many deaths that they have to use clones, for pete's sake! The amount of time they've already managed to be alive for is quite impressive (I imagine about 3 years).

Thought nr 5: Zanaz is even more protective of his inner feelings than Kits is

Even though Zanaz is very blunt and honest about most things, even some considered private info to most, he is not actually open about how he feels. He hides his negative emotions as much as he possibly can, even from Kits. (This was briefly explored in the written story, also.) The only reason Kits knows this, is because he's caught Zani crying to himself in less visited areas of their main facility, once or twice. Even then he wouldn't say what's wrong, that's how stubborn he is. All Kits could really do when this happened, was hug him and pat his head.

Fun facts that I didn't know how to categorize:

Zanaz is a dog person and Kits is a cat person. They combine to become bird people. (Yes, this is my excuse to draw dog boy Zani at some point.)

Zanaz' and Kits' personalities are based off myself. Of course in an amplified way, but yeah, I relate to them a lot. (Others have claimed to relate as well, which is most pleasant.)

They get their shade colors from RGB. Regular agents have red, Zanaz has green and Kits has blue.

I occasionally draw them during my free time! Most of those pictures I will not be posting to Tumblr, however. Some cause they're just kinda sketches that I don't really see a point in posting and others are just straight up not Tumblr appropriate.

Kits and Zanaz had not dated anyone before each other. Kits cause of insecurity and Zanaz because he didn't want any commitment. They are still very loyal to each other, tho.

The main song I listen to whenever I draw Zanaz is Left Boy- Security Check. Kits doesn't have a song that I listen to and get his vibe, but I am still looking.

Bit of a bonus tangent too:

I'm sorry that most of these are negative. The funni bois are, ya know, funny, and I tend not to make media about them that isn't funny, but I wanted to blabber about how I think they are when not performing a punchline.

When I design characters, I never only think about the positive personality traits. I tend to instead think about what the negatives are, so I can figure out, how they handle it. How they cope and how they've grown from their negative experiences/emotions enchants me.

I've said this before, Kits and Zanaz got created on a whim, basically unintentionally. But, I grew attached to the two idiot agents with different color shades. Thus, I wanted to know more about them.

I think, by now, I've figured them out for the most part. (Thankfully I don't have to give them any family or nothing, cause they're both clones.)

Also, their color scheme is final. If you've noticed, they're shades have changed shade over time. Zanaz' got brighter, while Kits' got darker. The suit color is a random shade every time, cause I just choose a dark shade of gray via slider. Hair color hasn't changed at all, as far as I know. Only Good Ending Zani has darker hair, cause he had it colored.

And, speaking of the Good Ending AU, I don't think I know what to do with the concept. I try to think more into it, but my brain blanks. If anyone wants to draw or write about it, I would be completely fine with it. Might even consider it canon, if none of it conflicts with the established canon. Good Ending AU takes place in the far future, after all.

But, yeah, I think that's it. I'm kinda honestly surprised if anyone actually reads all of this, lol. I hope you found my long-ass tangent about my two silly gay MadCom OCs interesting :)))

#Madness Combat #OC #Info #IT IS VERY LONG #most of it isn't funny haha #KitZan

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cellydawn · 5 years ago

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Sans is a Darkner Theory (MASTERPOST)

I know that this theory has been touched on before, but I’d like to compile all the evidence from the original post with some additional stuff I found relevant into a single comprehensive post. To preface this, I would like to remind everyone that the merchandise based on Sans isn’t canon and that though Deltarune isn’t a direct sequel to Undertale, the Deltarune FAQ confirms that connections between the two are not precluded.

I’m going to divide this theory into three parts because I want to cover all my bases and there is an extensive amount of evidence, so without further ado, let me introduce you to my completely self-indulgent crazed ramblings!

WARNING: This is very long. Also, a bunch of speculation here so read at your own discretion.

1. Sans has connections to the Deltarune universe

Let’s list off what we know for sure:

Sans instantly recognizes the Player as a human and has knowledge of the Surface.

In the conversation at MTT Restaurant, Sans confesses that he knows the feeling of wanting to go home.

According to the Snowdin Shopkeeper, Sans and Papyrus showed up one day and “asserted themselves”.

In his lost soul dialogue, Sans says that “you’ll never see ‘em again”.

During his battle, Sans reveals that he “gave up trying to go back a long time ago” and that “getting to the surface doesn't really appeal anymore, either.”

After being defeated, Sans says that he’s “going to grillbys”. In Deltarune, the first place we see Sans is at Grillby’s. Sans’s house and the restaurant in Deltarune are the same as in Undertale (except for slight alterations like the lack of snow and...’sans)

Undertale!Sans and Deltarune!Sans have identical sprites.

After talking with the Clam Girl and learning of Suzy, you can go to Sans’s workshop and find a card sticking out from the back flap of the binder, described as a poorly drawn picture of three smiling people with the words "don't forget" written in lowercase. Deltarune’s credits song is titled “Don’t Forget”.

We can safely assume that Sans came from another place that is not the underground nor the surface; Sans misses his home and his friends there (presumably the people in the picture); Susie and Suzy are related somehow. Additionally, we can speculate that Sans and Papyrus may have arrived from another dimension. It might very well be the case that Sans originated from the Deltarune universe: Sans is completely resigned to the fact that he can’t alter the past no matter how hard he tries. Deltarune’s prophecy is all about inevitability. Sans’s defeatist attitude might stem from this.

Here’s some evidence that is more debatable:

River Person warns the Player to “Beware of the man who came from the other world”. It’s possible that the man in question is Sans.

I’ve noticed this isn’t brought up as much, but Sans’s word search is from ICE-E’s, which is a brand we only see in Deltarune. As far as we know, there is no trace of this brand in the Undertale universe. It definitely doesn’t appear to be one from a newspaper—it’s a distraction given to kids at restaurants.

BONUS: There’s a wacky inflatable mascot that resembles the ICE-E’s mascot in the dog shrine found in the skelebros’ house (console version)

During Shyren’s encounter, if the Player hums twice, the flavor text describes Sans selling tickets made of toilet paper. Now, we know that all the food in the Underground is made out of magic. Magic nourishes monsters, but it doesn’t pass through their bodies as waste. Why does Sans have toilet paper?

Alphys seems to be in-the-know about Sans’s time-space shenanigans. In the epilogue of the pacifist ending, there’s some dialogue that suggests Alphys and Sans are quite familiar with each other. Both of them want to keep this a secret for whatever reason. In a neutral ending in which Alphys becomes the ruler, she is mournful of the deaths of Undyne, Alphys, and Asgore, but is glad that “at least Sans is here”. In the MTT quiz, if you pick “Don’t Know” to the question about her crush, Alphys reveals that she has done research on alternate universes and knows they exist. Both Sans and Alphys have connections to Gaster, who is quite prevalent in Deltarune. She, along with Sans (and coincidentally, the ICE-E word-search) are affected by Fun values and have their own Fun events. It seems a little random, but what if all the Fun events are Gaster-related? Are Alphys and Sans the two people mentioned in Entry 17?

So I think all of these pieces are sufficient in establishing Sans’s connection to Deltarune, though it is still unclear whether Sans came from Deltarune into Undertale or vice versa, OR Sans showed up from yet ANOTHER universe. That’s a theory for another time, though. On to the next part!

2. Sans has abilities/properties exclusive to Darkners

Some of the basics:

Sans can teleport, that is, use “shortcuts”, as evidenced by appearing both in front and behind the character in Snowdin, going to Grillbys, chasing after Papyrus in the wrong direction during the Pacifist ending scene, etc. Though Rouxls Kaard is shown to teleport, Lancer’s style of teleporting most closely resembles Sans’s. There are multiple instances in which Lancer stays ahead despite the Player passing him (for example, Lancer sneaking a sign past the party despite there only being one way to the door).

The door to Sans’s room greatly resembles the fast-travel doors that only Darkners are able to create. If you get the key to his room, the pitch-black and seemingly-endless walkway is not dissimilar to that of the supply closet. Papyrus also happens to liken Sans’s room to “another world”. All of the weird junk could be representative of various landmarks in the dark world.

Sans can manipulate shadows as seen through his first appearance (I also like to think that this is the reason why his “eye-lights” can disappear). This is most prevalent with Ralsei, Lancer, and the King obscuring parts of their body with shadows.

Darkners have colored portraits. At first glance, you would assume Sans doesn’t have one, but his head is already—conveniently—black and white.

If that wasn’t enough, let’s take a look at Sans’s battle in the Genocide Route. The most distinguishing feature of this fight is Sans’s ability to dodge your attacks, an ability that was thought to be unique to him. As it turns out, Darkners are also able to dodge (provided that they are warned). In order to actually beat Sans, you need to tire him out, and once you have dealt the final blow, he runs away. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

I believe that Sans actually survives the encounter as well. I’ve seen people claim that when he goes off-screen, the “dusting” sound effect signifies that he dies. This is wrong. That sound effect plays at the end of every battle, regardless of whether you spared or killed an enemy. I’d like to point out that the EXP you gain from the battle does not confirm Sans’s death. If you pick on Loox, you can get 5 extra EXP stacking up to 3 times. This means that killing an enemy is not required for you to gain EXP. I’ll also include that the kill counter doesn’t go up once Sans’s battle is over. It’s believed that this is the case because of Chara’s interference, though I don’t personally agree.

Let me also present this tidbit that I see no one else talking about: unlike literally any monster in the underground (besides Flowey, but he doesn’t count), Sans HAS NO HP BAR. When he gets hit, the damage numbers are present, but the HP bar that should have appeared above him is absent. Darkners don’t have a visible HP bar when struck.

Here’s some stuff that’s a little bit more controversial/speculative:

Lancer more or less implies that Darkners bleed, though we haven’t seen any examples of this yet. Ralsei doesn’t correct him, however. We know that the monsters in the light world don’t bleed (“Does it hurt to be made out of blood?”), and Susie’s comment (“Everybody bleeds, right?”) could be read as her trying to look cool for Lancer. Then, does Sans bleed?

It has been confirmed by @nochocolate that the red coming out of Sans is the exact same red as his ketchup bottle. This is a deliberate choice, but it doesn’t completely deconfirm that it may be blood because we don’t have other instances of blood to compare it to. Additionally, there is a mention of both blood and ketchup from Noelle: "This isn't another trick, is it, Kris? Like when you put ketchup on your arms and told me it was blood?" This might just be Toby Fox poking fun at the fandom or intentionally misdirecting us—really, it could go either way.

Sans’s mouth doesn’t move at all while he talks. It turns out that there may be an explanation for this! In Undertale, you can see the mouths of face sprites move while words are being spoken.

However, in Deltarune, both Lightners and Darkners don’t feature moving mouths in their textboxes! In instances wherein the full-body sprites are shown (Papyrus date, Alphys date, literally all the battles), the mouths don’t move either. So while his expression rarely changes, it might turn out that Sans DOES actually move his mouth while speaking, we just can’t see it. I’m a bit iffy on this theory since it varies from monster to monster in the Light World. Moreover, in Undertale, while Mettaton’s mouth doesn’t move at all (I’m going to disregard this since he is a robot) it’s very peculiar that the same can be said for Alphys.

Seriously, why doesn’t Alphys’s mouth move at all?? This HAS to be intentional, all of the other characters with a face sprite have moving mouths. Deltarune!Alphys doesn’t have one either. This brings up more questions than answers: Are certain monsters Lightners and others not? Is Alphys a Lightner? Did her “research” on alternate universes involve her actually traversing the multiverse? Am I overthinking this? In any case, it’s more stuff linking her to Sans...

If it turns out that not all monsters are Lightners, then it makes sense that Sans is so devoted to Papyrus, assuming that Papyrus is, in fact, a Lightner. No other person’s death makes as much of a difference as Papyrus’s concerning Sans’s behavior towards you. Alternatively, if Papyrus is not a Lightner, then it stands to reason why Sans is so depressed—he has no way of fulfilling his purpose. “Sans”, after all, means “without”.

The Light World has virtually no indications of monsters being able to use magic. In Undertale, it’s stated that magic is a method of self-expression for monsters, yet the only magic we see in Deltarune is from within the Dark World. If we compare Deltarune!Toriel’s stovetop to Undertale!Toriel’s, we see that the flavor text has omitted her use of fire magic. Susie is able to send out magic ax attacks, but this is likely due to the nature of the Dark World. I need to clarify that she is not the one that casts the Pacify spell at the end of a “neutral” run; she realizes that the King is tired, and waits for Ralsei to finish the job. Her remembering Pacify is exactly what it means, and Ralsei comments on it because he is expressing surprise that she cared to remember the spell she made fun of him for. I’ll also point out that the lack of magic would be the reason why the monster-human war ended differently/didn’t even happen, therefore allowing monsters to reside on the surface. If Sans did hail from this world, he wouldn’t have magic or would have very limited magical capabilities if he isn’t a Darkner.

Here is a piece of dialogue from Sans about the Underground. Interestingly, he differentiates himself from monsters, though this could just be because he doesn’t want to lump in Papyrus with them. The King has a similar line (“Show my son the monster you REALLY are!”). Monsters are possibly complicit in Darkners’ imprisonment. Is it possible that Sans is also resentful? Do Darkners exist in Undertale?

I feel like this interaction is worth mentioning. It’s entirely possible that Darkners were sealed so long ago in the Undertale universe that nobody even remembers their existence.

Going back to Papyrus, if Sans is a Darkner, then it’s important to mention that Papyrus is not. We see Papyrus turn to dust when he is killed. For that reason, it seems that Sans and Papyrus are not biological brothers. I think this actually makes a lot of sense given how different they look. Yes, it’s true that Sans and Papyrus both have a skeleton motif, but they don’t look remotely similar. The face shape, the jaw, the build, the height, the eyes, the nasal cavity—nothing matches! Each monster species look the same, hell, even boss monsters like Toriel and Asgore resemble each other. Compared to Papyrus, Sans seems a lot more solid (his gut) AND he’s almost completely covered up save for his face (what are you hiding under there?).

Their bone attacks are distinct as well: Papyrus’s have a more angular aesthetic compared to Sans’s rounded edges.

In comparison, Toriel, Asgore, and Asriel have the same exact fire attack.

So, if Sans is a skeleton-themed Darkner, what type would he be?

3. Sans is the Ace of Spades

This part of the theory is a bit more conjectural, but I think there is enough evidence to put this in here.

Let’s start with how Sans, Lancer, and the King are similar:

Their sprites have the same color scheme: black, blue, white, and grey.

They sport uneven and toothy grins, are round and chubby (“if you eat too many hot dogs…you’ll probably get huge like me”), and have a hood.

The spades seem to have a smile motif. The grinning “mouth” of the Card Castle has the same number of “teeth” as Sans. Additionally, you can see portraits of spade people inside the castle. They’re all smiling.

These three are the only characters that can freely shift between being completely submerged in the shadows and becoming visible. The ability to cloak their body with shadows is a trait thought to be shared by all Darkners; Ralsei, after all, exhibits this all throughout our journey. What’s interesting is that there are clear parallels to Sans, Lancer, and the Kings’ shadows: they conceal their entire form and reveal it during their first appearances.

Sans and Lancer are shown to be able to teleport. I’m bringing this up again because it seems that not all Darkners can teleport without the use of a door as indicated by Ralsei’s confusion. If Ralsei has extensive knowledge of Darkner powers, and he is unaware that Lancer can teleport, then teleportation must be an ability unique to the spades, or, at the very least, card-themed Darkners.

Sans and the King’s fights are eerily similar. You need to fight/tire them out and listen to them monologue in order to progress. A major theme of both fights is how you can’t truly spare them. Appearing worn out from the battle, they appeal for mercy. Should the Player fall for it, they launch an unavoidable attack that deals catastrophic damage. Additionally, before his fight, the King employs the use of silent text, just like Sans during his judgments and his intimidating moments. Also worth noting: in both fights, the battle box is manipulated deliberately to suit the needs of the Player (for our last attack against Sans) and the King (his weird stomach tongue latching onto the box). Sans is also capable of stretching the box as seen with the attack before his special attack.

Lancer and Sans, in particular, parallel each other quite nicely. They are both playful jokers, they both own bikes, and both of these characters have a strange relationship with food (particularly with red condiments).

The two just so happen to have stands to sell questionable foodstuffs.

Sans is evidently constantly eating:

Undyne: “And his brother kept making 100’s of midnight snacks.”

Papyrus: “GRILLBY’S… IT’S DARK AND FULL OF GREASE. PURGATORY OF FRIES… HAMBURGER ABYSS… ANYWAY, MY BROTHER PRACTICALLY LIVES HERE.”

Big-Mouth: “Sans is interesting. He has told me about all kinds of incredible foods. But, despite his knowledge, he always orders the worst burger off the menu.”

And we know that Lancer barely eats at all. He doesn’t think that having three glasses of milk as his dinner is unusual, he’s not allowed to eat the Dark Candy, he pretends to eat the salsa in the stump, and he has to get fed worms by Rouxls because his father forgot to feed him. Sans and Lancer both have terrible eating habits. I’m not sure what this is supposed to mean, but you know, food for thought.

Why the Ace of Spades:

The designs of both Lancer and the King originated from @kanotynes who created an entire deck of cards. The Ace of Spades does not have a distinct design.

French manufacturers standardized the four playing card suits. “Sans” and “Lancer” are both French words.

It symbolizes uncleanliness and depression (Sans’s socks and his room, the latter is pretty self-explanatory), omens (River Person’s warning, Flowey alerting us to not reveal our abilities to him, “you’re going to have a bad time”), and death (the reason for his skeletal nature).

In Blackjack, Aces have a numeric value of 1 (matching his stats) or 11 (the same number of unique pre-battle dialogue from Sans, though this may just be a lucky coincidence). The Eleventh Hour is an idiom meaning nearly too late. Sans’s fight is your last possible chance at quitting before the world ends and your game gets corrupted.

Remember that bit where Sans has toilet paper? In the Card Castle, you can see that a bathroom, the Royal Flush, is occupied. Darkners have to digest their food. On a related note, the royal flush is a poker term for an A(14), K(13), Q(12), J(11), and 10 hand. Interestingly, in the sequence before his “special attack”, we see Sans disappear and reappear at the edges of the screen 14 times (again, probably just a neat coincidence).

The ace is paradoxically the least and most valuable card (in Blackjack, Poker, etc.), paralleling Sans being the weakest and strongest enemy.

Ace of Spades also represents “an end”, and Sans is there at the end of our journey, judging us before Asgore’s fight. He is also responsible for initiating the phone calls at the end of every neutral route.

Okay, this one is a little bit of a joke. In this deleted tweet, Toby said that Sans would be too lazy for sex, causing fans to speculate that he is “ace” lol.

BONUS: Sans was originally intended to run a casino. This one’s a bit self-explanatory. Also explains his poker face.

The most important piece of evidence, however, is this: the French expression fagoté comme l'as de pique means "(badly) dressed like the ace of spades." Checks out.

On Gaster Blasters:

Gaster Blasters might have a spade motif. If you connect the natural curves of the eyes and the top of the nose ridge, you get a spade shape. The GB's crests resemble King Spade's crown and possibly the neck/shoulder part of his cape.

A GB's nose resembles King Spade's when he isn't snarling at you; this might also apply to Sans if he stopped smiling (mouth shape affects the shape of their noses).

Also on the topic of noses, Sans, Lancer, and King Spade's noses translate to the same shape in their overworld sprites.

The fog from Snowdin, which has been theorized to be either a front-facing GB or Sans' face (and honestly I lean more towards it being Sans's face because of the eye shape) has a hidden line underneath and above the nose. Perhaps Sans resembles the Gaster Blasters and the Spades more than we anticipated?

HMMMMMMMMMMMMM.....

#undertale #deltarune #darkner sans #deltarune theory #undertale theory #lancer #chaos king #sans is the ace of spades #long post #cellytheory

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fictionalrambles · 5 years ago

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Shadowhunters Fandom Story - Part Fifteen

Submitted by jwrites_

Five Favourite Fics:

1. What's It Gonna Be by @lemonoclefox

Why I love this fic: I'm a sucker for Pride & Prejudice. San was able to take that dynamic and put it all in a modern day telling of it. I can't count how many times I've read this. Sometimes I read it all the way through, other times I go and find my favorite parts just to get that rush of emotions it never fails to give. The enemies to lovers is done perfectly, the dialogue is great and flows seamlessly, the way she tied in the storyline between Simon, Isabelle, Valentine, and Alec together was genius. I truly love every word of this story.

Favorite scene: Awkward - love - confession - in - the - rain

Favorite quote(s):

(Yes. Love confessions are great but have you ever overheard someone say something rude about you and then have the opportunity later that same night to be able to casually call that person out for their comment?)

"Her friend is..." He trails off, as though searching for the word, and Magnus can imagine him gesturing in the meantime. "Interesting," Jace eventually settles on, pointedly.

"Who, that Bane guy?" Alec says, and as he does, Magnus is hit with a wave of intrigued surprise. Does Alec like men? Interesting. The assumption could be wrong, of course, but Jace's tone implies that that's why he's mentioning it. "He's a bit over the top, don't you think?"

He sounds almost disdainful as he says it, as though Jace's mere suggestion is laughable, and Magnus's intrigue immediately shifts to offended annoyance. He straightens a little where he stands, reluctantly affected by it.

"I mean, love songs are great," Magnus admits lightly. "But stringing a few pretty words together does seem a bit unoriginal when everyone does it."

Simon shoves him lightly in offense, and Magnus can't help but laugh.

"Then what do you suggest?" Magnus is taken completely by surprise when he realizes that it's Alec who's speaking, and he turns to him. The guy's expression is neutral, but seems genuinely curious.

"Oh, I don't know," Magnus says, swirling his drink around in his glass. He shrugs. "I suppose I'm more a fan of showing and not telling. I'd much prefer someone showing interest in what I like and who I am, than comparing my eyes to the night sky, and whatnot." He gestures airily, then hesitates. He suddenly can't seem to stop himself, the memory of the Lightwoods' overheard conversation bubbling to the surface. "I think most people can appreciate that. Even if some of us are a bit over the top."

--Okay...I'm gonna go ahead and throw in a love confession~

"Look, I don't expect anything from you," he says, as though the words are hard to say. "You've made your feelings pretty clear, and I respect that. But I heard you talked to my mom, and with the stuff you said to her... I guess it just kind of made me a bit hopeful, or something. A bit." He clears his throat, while Magnus just listens. He turns to watch Alec's profile as the young man struggles to find the words, eyes on the view in front of him. "Either way, I'll admit that how I feel hasn't really changed. Maybe it should have, but..."

Alec shakes his head, and Magnus feels his throat go dry. He wants to interrupt Alec, wants to say and show everything that's bursting out of his chest, but he waits. Alec takes a deep breath then, turns to him. He looks determined.

"If you want me to," he says steadily, "I'll go. I'll leave you alone, I promise. You won't hear from me again." He pauses, licks his lips. "But if you don't want me to, if something has changed since last time, somehow... I'd really like to know. Because that would be pretty great."

2. 42 North 71 West by @lecrit

Why I love this fic: I was blessed with the opportunity to witness Lu working on this fic from its conception to its end. I was there and still I am blown away at the way she was able to work the time jumps. I remember thinking with every chapter I read, 'Wow. The way she is telling this story is amazing. She is amazing.' Lu has a way of presenting so much honesty in her characters. She writes them in a way that feels so real, that you can't help but understand their fears and hesitations even though it hurts. The story is a back and forth told through scenes set in the past and present. You get to see what they were and where they are. The story is beautifully heartbreaking. And she was able to make me enjoy a story that dealt with politics? What? Sorcery, I tell you. -- also, the bench.

Favorite scene: This was almost impossible to choose and I took way too long trying to pinpoint just one. But I'm going to go with one that I hold very dear. When Magnus goes to visit Alec on his birthday and he finds Alec playing the song he only plays when he's sad. That's all I'm going to say because I don't want to spoil~

Favorite quote(s):

“Magnus,” Alec breathes out.

The name feels almost foreign, as if he hadn’t uttered it in too long and now his mind is troubling to catch up with his mouth. Still, it manages to make Alec’s heart stutter.

“We should’ve stayed on that bench in Boston,” he murmurs.

The good thing is, he knows where to go to find his way back. It is inked on his body, engraved into his soul, sealed into his heart.

3. Lead The Way by Clockworkswan

Why I love this fic: Because it takes the wonderful adventure of Doctor Who and packs it in with Malec. This is the ultimate fun and feel good but you will also cry at one point fic. I always go back to it if I want a wonderfully written Doctor Magnus and his adorable companion Alec. Seriously, even if you're not into Doctor Who, give this fic a shot. It's written in a way that you will get so caught up in the adventure that you won't even realize it's based on something else. And if you're a Doctor Who fan, you're in luck with all the little Easter Eggs Heather left throughout.

Favorite scene: I really don't want to spoil anything. The planet of Ablorix. This will mean nothing if you don't read the fic (so you should ;])

Favorite quote(s):

Magnus extends a hand. It’s just like before, when they were in the hallway a couple of weeks ago. It’s just as inviting as it was the first time.

“How about it, pretty boy? Name a star. Any one will do. Or a date,” Magnus says. The double meaning is evident when he winks. He pauses then, and his expression shifts, growing solemn.

A clear shift in his demeanour happens. Magnus turns from playful to sincere in the blink of an eye. Although, there was also a serious tone to it. Magnus looks at him, and understanding eyes meet Alec’s hesitant ones. “Alexander, you seem like a man in need of a break, and I am very much a man in need of a friend. Adventures are always a quick way in figuring out what you want. What do you say?”

What does he say?

He says yes.

Of course Alec does.

Before Magnus can think of a good retort, he tries to ignore the clenching ache his stomach gives at the sight of a confident, smirking Alec Lightwood watching him so openly. He settles for pointing in a random direction. “I have to go and see a dog about a man. Meet back here in five?”

“Uh, isn’t the expression, ‘see a man about a dog’?”

“Not when the dog ran off with the man’s wife. A rather big scandal, it seems. The president wants me to try and step in. Smooth things over, so to speak.”

At that, Alec just stares blankly.

Magnus holds up a finger. “Yes, this is normal for me. No, you may not come along. Go.”

4. Love & Other Drugs prequel of Our Love Is A Harsh Chord in the Semi-charmed Kind Life series by @la-muerta

Why I love this fic: I'm kind of cheating here by listing two fics but they're a package deal. Love & Other Drugs was a smutty one-shot that left me wanting

more...

backstory. Let me tell you the pining and 'unrequited' love between those two demanded a story to be written. Which is why when la_muerta ran a poll on whether or not she should start it or another series first, I campaigned for this one like it was my job (I lost but I still got the series eventually so did I really lose?) The writing in this and with all of la_muerta's fics will hook you. The sadness over the back and forth between them is done so well. It's angst that will grip you and hold onto you until you eventually finish. Just go on the twitter hashtag of #OLIAHCfic and see my screaming.

Favorite scene: Probably the LSD scene.

Favorite quote(s):

Alec was still here, in bed with him.

How many times had Magnus wished that he could wake up with Alec in his arms? He didn't dare to move, wanting the dream to last a little longer, but Alec was already stirring.

he'll wonder if life would be a little easier if he wasn't hopelessly in love with Magnus, but it is a fact of who he is now: Alec Lightwood is 6'3, has dark hair, is gay, and is in love with Magnus Bane.

They are lying next to each other now, turned on their sides and face to face. The world is no longer warped and weird, but glowing and perfect. Magnus is tracing a path of lightning down Alec's body with his fingertips, and in a moment of clarity Alec understands that in Magnus' eyes he is as beautiful as he thinks Magnus is (it is the first thing Alec forgets when he wakes up sober later).

Words aren't enough to express how he feels, but they've always understood each other better when clumsy words don't get in the way.

5. The Lonely Hearts Hotline by @unrestrainedlyexcessive

Why I love this fic: It's funny, it's endearing, it's heart wrenching, it's sexy, etc. The way Alec is written in this fic is one of my favorite characterizations. The way his situation can resonate with so many young adults today. That feeling when you're an adult and you feel like you should know what to do with your life and who you should be but the truth is, you're still just as lost as always. Being an adult sucks tbh and even when you're an adult, sometimes life doesn't quite feel like it. Alec's character and growth in this fic is beautiful. (I also really loved Jace in this fic)

Favorite scene: A tough choice. Probably the office party and follow up scene in Magnus' office.

Favorite quote(s):

The problem with being a new grad, in general, is that the world and job force demands you have experience, but you have to live a certain number of productive years on the planet to gain that experience.

Early adulthood is no man's land. You don’t have the experience to matter and no one wants to pay you to gain it, hence how he ended up in the precarious situation he’s in: dodgy sex work by night, an even dodgier roommate, and desperately hoping an internship eventually turns into an actual paying job.

Magnus runs his tongue down the knobs of Alec's spine. "You're so beautiful," he says, pausing.

"I'm really not," Alec insists, eyes fluttering closed.

"Why are you so kind to everyone except yourself?"

"I'm a work in progress."

"Aren't we all?"

#shadowhunters #shadowhunters fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfiction blog

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twistedsinews · 4 years ago

Text

Questions for an Author

Tagged by @chyrstis and @guileandgall

Tagging... @corpsebrigadier, @gatticus, @faejilly, @ anyone who wants to do the thing! <3

Name: FireEye

Top 5 Fandoms Written: I'm sitting here not knowing the answer to this question, so. *shrug?* All of them. By numbers I have no idea (my fics are scattered across the internet, and my personal are behind in updating), by word count even more difficult for me to determine, by how much fun I've had? *hands!* Saints Row is probably up there, Cyberpunk is ticking up, can I count the Final Fantasy metafandom as one or is that too much? :P

Top 5 Fandoms You Want To Write For/More: Moon Hunters, Ultima, Final Fantasy V, Trials of Mana, and what else am I gonna do with all of these Cyberpunk feels?

Stories You Wish More People Knew About: So I just took a glance at my AO3 stats, and... a lot of my stories are doing as well as could be expected, particularly for how many tiny, tiny fandoms I write in? Granted, some of them have been there for a good long while. But...

1. I remain stupidly proud of Thalassophobia

2. I still love the adventurous theme of Frightful Tides of Smoke and Ash.

3. To Catch a Thief got plenty of love, but I am still amazed at how it turned out and yet fuck that tense in particular, omfg.

Ship(s) Written The Most: No actual clue. AO3 gives me Faris/Butz, but I think I've surpassed that with V/Jackie alone in the past month, so. *sideeyes*

Character(s) Written The Most: See above, re: clue. Per AO3, Butz, Faris, and Gat are tied for 15 each. XD

How Many OCs Do You Have: At least 24 I can count off memory, some more developed than others, and I'm sure I'm forgetting some and there've been some I've misplaced over the years. (Tabletop characters, etc.) Not counting random characters I develop solely for the sake of plot, or characters from original works.

How Many Series Do You Have: ehhh. On AO3? One, properly. It has the prologue of an old WiP in it that was supposed to be 1 of 4, and nothing else. I could probably gather quite a few of my oneshots into series, but I’d have to sort them out. Other than that, I have two series in progress (sort of), one being the one on AO3 as already mentioned that I plan to revisit and finally write out in its entirety and one being my Ultima thing.

What Do You Do With Fics You’re No Longer Interested In? It's less I'm not longer interested and more I get easily distracted by bright shiny objects. Anything I haven't finished stays in my WiP folder, under the completely reasonable assumption that I'll finish them all eventually someday. :P

Coming Soon: uh... cheesy confessions, Nomad!V's living in an apartment hijinks, T-Bug~♥, Kidnappings (plural apparently), The Quest of the Avatar (I've been saying for years), and a (one (1)) metric fucktonne of fix-it fic.

Not yet started? All of the above, and then some. Keep in mind: I write most things in one sitting. (Which is part of why I don't have that many longer fics to my name).

...actually, that's not the entire truth - I've had small snippets of my Ultima saga on paper for a decade or more and have bits of dialogue and "[premise]" stuff thrown into files for later. It's just... not really started more than what's in my head, you know?

Line From A WIP: “Hath no one ever shown you compassion before?”

Do You Accept Prompts? ...yes? I don't think I've ever gotten any when I wasn't explicitly asking for them or reblogging a prompt list, but *shrug?* I will happily take prompts. XD

How Do You Feel About Kudos? I do not in fact think Kudos are single-handedly responsible for the decline of comments on fanfics or comment culture in general, and I think they are a perfectly fine way of saying 'I liked the thing!' if you have nothing more of which to comment. I have seen people talk about kudos that make me second guess, and I get a little irrationally worried when I get comments without kudos, but ultimately I try to trust that it's basically a like button and I am fine with that. In short: I like them.

Do You Read Fic As Well? Yes, although not as much as I used to. Like, back when I'd go through pretty much anything that looked as though it would fit my fancy in any fandom I happened to enjoy so extensively that I'd not have anything left to read. Recently, I've been reading mostly fic I get in exchanges or that I've prompted on Tumblr and not really that much else. It's something of a dumb egotistical anxiety thing, though: I read other people's stuff and get self conscious about my own writing, feel super uncreative, my capacity to actually sit down and write feels inhibited, and/or I feel like I'm going to plagiarize something by accident (which I don't think is as far fetched as it sounds, how awkward - my creative brain gets stuck on weirdly specific things at random and doesn't always keep in mind where it got them from) or someone will think I got the idea from [already known fic]. It makes me sad I've fallen so far away from it, because reading fic is something I enjoy deeply, but... that's why I'm trying to make an effort to get back to it.

#guileandgall #chyrstis #ficauthor questions

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lothiriel84 · 5 years ago

Text

Just a few random considerations after my latest rewatch of series 1 of BBC Ghosts last night.

Ghosts vs. the living

It’s extremely interesting that while as a rule humans are completely unable to see/hear ghosts, (some) animals are in fact shown to be able to sense the presence of a ghost, to the point of attempting to interact with them - see Tali (?) the dog barking up at Robin, and then wanting to be petted by Pat.

It remains unclear whether that’s down to some kind of sixth sense specifically possessed by animals (dogs? bears? any animal at all?) as opposed to humans, or it somehow implies that the animal in question had a scrape with death at some point in the past. (Although the latter doesn’t sound very likely when it comes to Barclay’s dogs, or I should hope so, at least.)

Another interesting point is how often exactly do dead animals turn into ghosts. So far, the only animal ghost (or should that be ghost animal?) we’ve been shown is Button House’s resident pigeon - could that be because animals don’t often have any real unfinished business barring their access to whichever sort of afterlife is reserved to their kind? (But more importantly, was Arthur Shappey right in believing heaven is, in fact, full of otters?)

Schrödinger’s (attempted) murder

As I mentioned elsewhere - probably in the tags while reblogging someone else’s gifs, to be honest - I believe Julian being genuinely unable to tell whether he successfully pushed Alison out of the window or she basically lost her balance and fell as a consequence makes for a much more interesting scenario.

To be absolutely clear, that would make no difference when it comes to him being guilty of attempted murder; he is shown to have no qualms whatsoever about killing Alison, and when all is said and done, it hardly matters whether his goal was reached by his own hand or through dumb luck (plus a non-indifferent dose of carelessness on Alison’s part).

All I’m saying is, think back of how much trouble he had with pushing a vase which was comparatively not all that bigger than a cup. And even if he did know for sure - admittedly, he might be capable of feeling the reaction of the object he pushes against, should he succeed in doing so - I, as a viewer, would very much rather be afforded a little room for doubt. Not for the sake of Julian’s character, but as I feel it somehow raises the stakes of this particular storyline.

Alison as one of the coolest characters ever

Not only does Alison figure the whole seeing-dead-people situation mostly by herself - with a little help from the ghost therapist at the hospital, but she could have easily written off the entire episode as yet another of her alleged post-traumatic hallucinations - but more importantly, her reaction when she realises she’s effectively stuck with a haunted house as well as a potentially bankruptcy-inducing mortgage is one of the coolest moments in the entire series.

I dare say most people would be inclined to lose the plot a little bit, when faced with such simultaneously dire yet completely absurd circumstances; Alison, on the other hand, simply unbuckles her seat belt, gets out of the car, and confronts the ghosts head-first. And not only that, but she’s smart enough to call them out on their real reasons for haunting her, to the point they actually confess what they really want from her. (Which sums down, in most cases, to trivial requests such as being allowed to watch war documentaries, or having an incriminated portrait removed from a room.)

Forget her questionable choices when it comes to financial matters, she’s a feisty young woman capable of handling a herd of recalcitrant ghosts, and that’s more than can be said of almost any other character in the show.

The Captain and the morality of choices

It’s hardly a mystery the Captain is a bit of a bastard, and we all love him for that. Right at the beginning, he is presented to us as someone who would make a show of wanting to ‘say a few words’ about the dearly departed just so he could immediately proceed to ‘bagsy her room’. I’d say his general mindset could be summed up as something close to the end justifies the means - with the caveat that we actually know very little about him aside the military persona he chooses to present himself as all the time.

If I had to hazard a guess, facing everything life death throws at him as a military campaign could either be a subconscious defence mechanism, a habit so deeply ingrained he couldn’t shake it off if he wanted to, or something he elects to do as a way to cope with the listlessness that comes with being stuck in limbo (potentially) for eternity. And, quite possibly, a combination of all three.

The main thing is, rules are important for him, but so is winning whichever military campaign he embarked upon at each particular moment in time. When his plan to enroll the plague victims as his new army fails, he resorts to strategic subterfuge in order to win the war; as they say, all's fair in love and war, and more often than not, battles are won by military tactics rather than such things as a superior army. He is very much the Odysseus of Button House, with the significant difference that he’s not so much attempting to conquer an enemy city as he’s fighting to take back control of an outpost he used to be in charge of.

In this (probably unfortunate) parallel, I’m afraid the poor Kitty serves as the infamous Trojan horse. (Juan Domingo, please, we’re not getting into this all over again.) The Captain knows Alison trusts her, and his subterfuge will therefore go undetected until it’s too late; and yet, remarkably enough, he still decides to offer Kitty a choice on the matter. Admittedly, he’s already counting on the fact that Kitty is neither particularly smart, nor in any way prepared to give up on Alison anytime soon - however, he still offers her a choice, and I feel like that is very much relevant to his character. He is, for all intent and purposes, tricking Kitty into fooling her friend/the person she loves; but while he’s concealing all the important facts from her, he’s not robbing her of her choice entirely.

(Should Kitty have decided to prioritise Alison’s happiness over her own, I daresay the captain would have come up with yet another plan to overcome the temporary setback. Neither scenario makes him any less of a bastard, but he’s still a man of principles after his own fashion, and that’s how I choose to read him, regardless.)

A final note on Robin

I’ve made no secret of how Robin is my favourite character by far, just as I believe he is for a significant portions of fans of the show. As mischievous as he loves to be - which is, all things considered, a comparatively tame reaction to being stuck as a ghost for an incredibly long time, with very little hope of ever moving on - his pranks are mostly harmless, and he is at heart the kindest, most emotionally mature of all the ghosts. (Yes, even when he’s scampering around, marvelling at the builders’ equipment. If anything, it’s a sign of his natural curiosity and intelligence; we are, after all, repeatedly shown he is particularly good at problem solving as well as playing what basically boils down to blindfold chess.)

As often as the other ghosts tend to remark upon his language skills or lack thereof, they should probably pay more attention to all the occasions in which Robin’s brains made the difference, and I’m including his emotional intelligence in that category. As others pointed out before me, he’s a trickster with a heart of gold, and the only sane man among what is basically a swarm of squabbling children.

And he faces all of that armed only with his peculiar brand of humour, and his enthusiasm for new things to discover, including - why not? - new ways to scare the living daylights out of Alison, just for the fun of it.

#BBC Ghosts #Ghosts spoilers #series 1 #meta #sort of

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pathetic-has-been-rockstar · 4 years ago

Text

Carols and decorations

Pairing: Dean x Castiel

Written for: @spnchristmasbingo

Square filled: singing Christmas songs

Warnings: none

Summary: When he has to put on the last touches around the bunker, Dean finds himself thinking about several things and humming holiday songs. Castiel doesn’t seem too enthusiastic about it, and Dean’s singing talent is not the only reason.

Words: 2246

This can be found on AO3, here! If you’re interested in the whole series, you just have to click here!

The atmosphere in the bunker is mostly happy and relaxed. The accident with the haunted Christmas tree has been quickly forgotten, and everything seems back to normal, as far as normal goes when a family of hunters is involved.

While you and Jack are gone to pick up chestnuts, luckily bringing Crowley along with you, Sam, Dean and Eileen are in the kitchen. They’re currently working on thinning out the endless provisions of Christmas cookies bought by Jack and Castiel along with the ugly Christmas sweaters.

When Dean catches the stares between Sam and Eileen, and he notices how their hands keep touching under the small mountain of discarded wrapping, he knows that's his cue. He grabs a handful of candies and stands up.

“Well, guys, I'll go check if Cas needs help with putting up the rest of the decorations. You stay here, we'll call if we need help.”

The happy couple barely look at him while he leaves the kitchen, mindlessly popping another candy in his mouth. He heads for the library, finding Castiel sunk in his favourite armchair, reading “A Christmas Carol”. For a second, Dean stops chewing on whatever it is in his mouth, and looks at Cas.

He looks deeply absorbed by the book, the inseparable trench coat gathered under his body, half covering him, half draping his figure. Dean feels a sudden lumps in his throat, and unconsciously wets his lips. He's done it a million times before, in every kind of situation, but the idea of calling Cas now... it bothers him.

Besides, he knew what would happen. Cas would lift his head, and he'd look at him. At the thought, Dean feels the knot in his throat getting tighter, and he's frustrated with himself. He's Cas. He's his best friend. He's the angel that's been in countless battles with him, whose eyes Dean can read as much as he can read Sam... and now he's being childish about looking at him. That won't do.

“Hey, Cas?”

Exactly like he predicted, Castiel stops looking at the page and lifts his gaze, moving his attention on Dean. The moment their eyes meet, he automatically smiles.

“Yes, Dean?”

“Uh... why are you reading?”

“I don't understand the nature of your question” Cas answers, tilting lightly his head on a side. Dean's stomach is surely making a number right now.

“I thought... uh, Metatron didn't kind of... poured every bit of human culture in your head?”

“Oh. Yes, he did, but you know I like doing things my way. Besides, Jack was asking me about Christmas stories earlier. There's a version of this book with puppets and another with... ducks, apparently?”

Dean smiles at Castiel's confusion. “Yeah, the Disney one. It's pretty good.”

“Another childhood memory I can shatter?” Castiel asks, making Dean grin like a schoolgirl.

“No, you'll have to do better than that, this time. But if you were planning on zapping me to Disneyland, I might make up some shit.”

“I never pegged you for a man who might want to go to Disneyland.”

Dean just scrolls his shoulders. “Believe me, it's not the first surprise of these holidays. Anyway... I was about to put on some decorations. Wanna help?”

The way Cas casually throws his legs off the armrest has Dean wondering about how long he needed to master his vessel to such a level of grace. He zones out for a moment, trying to think about the times he's seen him doing something graceless or even just slightly clumsy. He can't recall any, but when he comes back to reality, he finds Castiel intently observing him.

“Dean? Are you ok?”

Forcing his brain to start working again, Dean swallows hard. “I... yeah. I'm great. This way, there's a lot of stuff to do.”

“Like what?”

“We gotta... hang the lights, check the baubles in the tree, and... you know, stuff like that.”

“Fine. Any inspiration?”

A wide grin spreads on Dean's face while he answers “Yeah. I was thinking about something looking a bit like... you know, the huge one in New York, with the ice skating thing under it.”

“Don't you think it's a bit ambitious?” Castiel teases him, but he's actually slightly worried. Dean has been on a sort of Christmas high for days. He might actually try something extremely over the top.

“I stopped the Apocalypse three times, and I killed Hitler. I can deal with a Christmas tree.”

“Sure. The same Christmas tree from which I had to save you?”

Dean rolls his eyes, slightly exasperated. “Will I ever hear the end of it?”

“... would anyone in this bunker hear the end of it, if they brought along something haunted, and almost wreck the whole festivities?”

“... probably not.”

“Then probably not” Castiel states. Dean could swear that he's trying not to laugh.

“Alright, sassy pants, you know what? I don't have to stand here and be treated like this.”

“You asked for my help.”

“Yeah, to hang decorations, not to become the punchline of your jokes!”

“I'm just doing what you usually do with me. Friendly banter, right?”

Incredulous, Dean is now absolutely sure that Cas is making fun of him. He's also very surprised in finding out that he might actually find the whole thing quite pleasant. “You're getting too used to this humanity thing, you know? Get back to your book, I don't need no judgement while I hang my Christmas decorations.”

“Your decorations? You mean those Jack and I bought?”

“Shut up.”

After a couple of hours, Dean is humming Christmas songs again. He's surprised when Castiel starts humming in tune with him, and shoots him a weird look before laughing.

“Come on! I'm a great singer!” he declares, balancing some delicate glass ornament in his hand. Castiel just nods, unusually quiet.

“Guess that Emmanuel thing really stuck on you, uh?”

“The... Dean, how did you find out about that?”

Castiel stammers, looking at Dean like he just casually confessed some incredible truth. Dean has rarely seen the angel so surprised, especially when he's not even supposed to be.

“You... you were called like that, when you were a healer, after Leviathans, weren't you? We came to find you, remember?”

“... oh, that... that's correct. Yes, indeed, I was called Emmanuel. I... forgot about that.”

“Yeah? Then why did you freak out that I knew?”

“Because I didn't remember that you knew.”

“Cas, you still are a shitty liar. What are you not telling me?”

Castiel seems uncomfortable, but ultimately sighs and starts talking. “Well, that... that song you were singing... I might have been the one involved in his creation.”

“... you... what?”

“The person who wrote this... John Mason Neale. He was a pious boy, who was challenged to write a new hymn because he told the old ones in his community that he felt the old ones didn't make justice to the Lord.”

Dean seems genuinely curious and moves a hand to encourage Castiel to go on.

“So... I showed up. To help him.”

“... wait, what?”

“I was supposed to inspire him with holy visions, appropriate to his religion, of course, and... that song was the result.”

Dean scoff, incredulous. “You are telling me that you inspired one of the most... I don't know, world-spread Christmas songs of all the frickin' times, and you never once thought to tell me?”

“Dean, I also discussed poetry with Christopher Marlowe and tried to convince him not to take that deal, but you never once asked me about it.”

“... Christopher Marlowe? The... the dude who died with a knife in his eye?”

“Yes. How do you know that?”

“I dated a chick who was pretty into English literature and... and...”, Dean stammers, reading a certain annoyance in Castiel's eyes. Not the best move to talk about her, probably. “It was like... a lifetime ago. High school, go figures. It just stuck.”

“Yes, I guess so.”

“So... is that why you picked the name Emmanuel after you came back from the Leviathans thing?”

Castiel tilts his head, almost surprised. He never made that connection. “I don't know, actually. It must have been set somewhere in my memory. I couldn't remember anything, but that name just felt... right. It must have been called in joy and devotion, to stick so deeply.”

The notion that Castiel remembered the name some random guy gave him centuries ago, and not the one he used around him, makes Dean feel terrible.

“Well... I hope next time you have an amnesia you can remember your name, after all that we've been through together.”

“What do you think I'm implying here, Dean?” Castiel's question is asked with an unusual kindness, almost with care. It catches Dean by surprise, and forces him to articulate his thoughts.

“I don't know. That you forgot your name because we never used it with enough... reverence, or devotion, or whatever else?”

“I surely wasn't implying anything like that.”

“Well, it sounded a lot like it, actually.”

Castiel must make a real effort to stop himself from smiling. Of all the new things that are happening, seeing Dean uncomfortable around him might be the most surprising.

“Dean... you're being needlessly defensive. I have no idea why that name stuck with me, but I was just referring to the fact that, for about three hundred years, that hymn that I inspired has been sung all around the world, to sing praise of my Father. Can you understand what I was trying to say, now?”

Of course Cas was talking about a bigger picture. Of course he made a fool of himself. “... I think so.”

Castiel puts a hand on Dean's shoulder, squeezing lightly, prompting a curious stare. “Dean... I understand. I know what you've been through, and I know what you are trying to do. This new world, this new life... it's strange. Even for me. It's difficult to think that the absentee father I praised my whole existence is not what I thought I'd be...”

Fighting the lump forming in his throat, Dean scoffs, thinking about his own father. “Eh. You'll survive that one.”

“... and it's almost impossible to understand that we truly and well overpowered God himself. If these events are almost out of my comprehension, I understand that they must be even more unsettling for you. But that's not all, isn't it?”

Dean lets out a strangled sound, followed by an incoherent mumble, from which Cas can only make out “change”, “family” and “safety”. He nods and goes on.

“Adjusting to something new, learning new things about yourself... it can be hard.”

Suddenly awkward, Dean snaps at him, but he doesn't pull back or shy away from the reassuring touch on his shoulder. The awkwardness has shifted to something else. Frustration. Confusion, and, most of all... impatience.

“Cas, you plan on gettin' somewhere or just on my nerves? I'm not Jack. I don't need pep talk.”

“Sure. I'm just saying... don't be too hard on yourself. The whole world changed. If you changed along with it... it would be natural. Perhaps even better. I, personally, am very curious to see the new Dean Winchester.”

“... yeah, I don't know, man. I doubt it'll be a showstopper.”

“Showstopper was the starting point, Dean.”

Just while Dean's cheeks turn to a bright red and his jaw drops a little, Castiel presses a light kiss on his unshaven cheek before drawing back just as quickly.

“Come on, we have many things to do.”

Dean is spared from finding some adequate response to Castiel's gesture by the door of the bunker opening. An instant later, an overly excited Jack rushes down the stairs, holding a basket and running to Dean and Castiel.

He shoves the basket in Castiel's hands and proudly beams at him and Dean.

“Chestnuts!”

Cas nods, looking down at the basket. “Yes, I see that.”

“I picked them up! And I petted a hellhound! Two, actually.”

Dean looks at him, surprised. “You did what?”

“I picked up chestnuts! And we roasted them, too! Have you ever tried them? We could roast them. Maybe lighting a fire outside?”

“No, Jack, go back to the hellhound thing, please.”

“Oh, yeah. Crowley brought his two along, and I played with them. Y/N did, too.”

Dean groans, seeing you and Crowley walking back inside together. He snaps at him as soon as you two move closer, joining Jack.

“Crowley! Hellhounds? Really?”

Imperturbable as ever, Crowley speaks. “Pets are excellent to help children with their development, Squirrel. Everyone knows that.”

“Pets! Regular animals! Not... Cerberus!” It's clear that Dean's nerves come from something else, but you're all far too used to those little outbursts.

“You'll be happy to know that both Juliet and Banquo only have one head each. They're perfectly trained and capable of behaving properly. Perhaps I might interest you in some sessions, Squirrels? Your manners might improve...”

Dean seems about to leash out, but instead he shoots you a deadly glare

“Damn kid, I hope you know what you're doing” is all that he mutters before turning tail and marching away, followed by Castiel.

Too surprised by that jab, you just head to the kitchen to get some water, hoping that Crowley didn't notice your surprise at Dean's words. On his part, Crowley chuckles and looks at you walking away. He then places a hand on Jack's shoulder.

“Come on boy, let's see how we can poke some fun at your fathers. All in good spirit, naturally.”

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Thank you for reading!

I truly hope you enjoyed this little story. Every kind of feedback is very much appreciated, just as much as likes and reblogs!

Please, do not repost or copy my works or part/s of it, not even if you give credits.

#spn #spnchristmasbingo #christmas songs #dean x castiel #fluff #men of letters bunker #everyone is a bit of a moron #dean is having thoughts and feels #christmas fluff

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raccoon-wizard · 5 years ago

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Two and Half Assholes

An entire one person (shout out to @jumpfiend) expressed their wish for me to write an angry essay about the long dead show Two and Half Men (2003-2015) and all the problems it has. Allow me to start by saying that I am by no means a professional critic and I have never really written an in-depth review of anything. But I have a lot of feelings that I need to get out about this shitshow, otherwise my head is gonna explode next time my father insists on watching it.

Just a warning, this is a very long post.

What is Two and Half Men about?

If I tried to write my own summary here, I would probably end up tearing it to shreds already. Instead, I’m going to borrow the annotation from IMDB.com: “A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beachfront house.”

That doesn’t really say much, does it now. Luckily, the same site also provides us with a wide range of plot (hahahah “plot”) summaries written by users. This one tells us a little more: “The Harper brothers Charlie and Alan are almost opposites but form a great team. They have little in common except their dislike for their mundane, maternally cold and domineering mother, Evelyn. Alan, a compulsively neat chiropractor and control-freak, is thrown out by his manipulative wife Judith who nevertheless gets him to pay for everything and do most jobs in the house. Charlie is a freelance jingle composer and irresistible Casanova who lives in a luxurious beach-house and rarely gets up before noon. Charlie "temporarily" allows Alan and his son Jake, a food-obsessed, lazy kid who shuttles between his parents, to move in with them after Alan's separation/divorce. The sitcom revolves around their conflicting lifestyles, raising Jake (who has the efficient, caring dad while having a ball with his fun-loving sugar uncle who teaches him boyish things), and bantering with Evelyn and various other friends and family. Other fairly regular characters include Charlie's cleaning lady Berta and his rich, self-confessed stalker neighbor Rose who often sneaks in to spy on Charlie.”

Now that’s much better. It gives us quite a decent picture of the show’s ensemble. At least for the starter episodes, this is pretty much what it is. But as the show progresses, we see that the characters have a little bit more depth to them. But not that much.

Let’s start with Charlie Harper, the “freelance jingle composer and irresistible Casanova who lives in a luxurious beach-house and rarely gets up before noon” portrayed by Charlie Sheen. (Is that man still a thing?) I think we can get a lot by taking apart this brief description of him. Freelance jingle composer pretty much means that he has a grand piano in his house and we can occasionally see him playing it while trying to put together words for a commercial for some random product. And that’s it. He has a few other musician friends who are just as big of assholes as he is, but we’ll get to that later. Other than that, we don’t really see him working at all. I think there is one episode about him writing kids’ songs because his girlfriend’s kid likes them. And one about him getting an award?? I don’t know man. The second part of that statement is a much more prominent “personality” trait of Charlie’s. In nearly every episode, we see him “dating” (meaning shagging and then dumping) another woman. I have mentioned in my initial post that this show is misogynistic. Don’t worry, I will also get into that later. For now I’m going to say that Charlie treats all these women absolutely disgustingly and we’re supposed to laugh at that. On the rare occasions we see him in a long term relationship (which happens twice I think? I’m not sure now), we get the stereotypical ball and chain bullshit. The woman takes all his freedom and tries to make him better. While I hate that trope with burning passion, I have to admit that in this case, she does have a solid point. Charlie is a pathetic excuse of a man who has to count on his good looks (questionable) and his riches. By the way, where did he even get them? Does composing jingles really make that much money? Is he that good of a gambler? I’m pretty sure I’ve seen another episode addressing the fact that the answer to both of these questions is no. Where the hell did this luxurious beach-house come from??? So many questions about a show that deserves so little.

Surprisingly, Charlie is the better one out of the two brothers. At the start, we really do feel sorry for Alan. His wife (who is a HORRIBLE person by the way) kicks him out and manipulates him into still paying for everything and doing many things for her around the house. Who wouldn’t feel bad for someone like this? He moves in with Charlie “for the time being”. Soon, we realise that he is not leaving the house anytime soon. He becomes a disgusting leech, a truly pathetic excuse of a man. And he doesn’t even bother hiding it. I’m not sure if we’re supposed to feel sorry for him or laugh at him, but either case doesn’t really work if you spend at least ten seconds thinking about it. How are we supposed to sympathise with a man that lives off of others and barely lifts a finger to change it? The worst part is, the show presents it as something completely normal. We don’t really see Alan’s actions turning against him, do we? Most of the time, whatever shit he does, works just fine for him.

Another prominent character is Alan’s son, Jake, who grows up throughout the series. A fat little boy, not exactly bright. A spoiled brat (if it’s the fault of Alan or Judith is questionable) that has everything handed to him, as Charlie points out in one episode. It’s another bad personality trait that we’re supposed to find funny. And at first, we kind of do. But once again, as the show progresses, it gets worse. Jake becomes the oldest kid in his class because he fails so many times. He only gets to start middle school because “he’s too big for the desks in his class now”. A bit of a watered down Dudley Dursley now that I think about it. It feels that the older Jake gets, the dumber he is. He eventually joins the military because he is too daft to realise. (If I remember correctly, that was done only so Jake’s actor could leave the show because he pretty much realised how bad it was.)

The main reason why I hate this show so much, however, is its way of handling female characters. There’s a few prominent ones - the aforementioned Judith, Alan’s ex wife, a cold hearted manipulative bitch, that also follows the trope of “I’m breaking up with you because I’m a lesbian” for a while, but then it’s never addressed again, not even once. Then we have Alan and Charlie’s mother, Evelyn, also a cold hearted bitch lacking any motherly instincts whatsoever that the men blame for how they turned out. Honestly, I can kind of see it. There’s Rose, Charlie’s neighbour whom he had slept with once and who’s been obsessed with him ever since, following him pretty much wherever he goes and inappropriately visiting him, usually in order to chase any woman that gets close to him away. We have Berta, Charlie’s housekeeper that I would like to believe is there to show the differences between different classes, as she has a large family to take care of, fending of her daughters’ admirers and dealing with drug and alcohol issues. But at this point we all know she’s only there so we can laugh at her struggles and the witty remarks she likes to make.

A special category of women in this show are the lovers and girlfriends. All of them end up either leaving the men for someone better (good for them tbh), or getting left by them. But remember, we’re supposed to always be siding with the men. The women are there for us to laugh at and hate. Rose the stalker? The only reason Charlie never gets rid of her is so we can laugh as she appears unexpected on his balcony over and over again. Are her apparent mental health issues ever addressed? Maybe once, but as a joke. You know, the classic ha ha ha ha look an insane person that’s hilarious. Judith the ex wife and her flock of weird friends (that Charlie converts)? Look, evil wives hating men, ha ha ha ha. Better run away from there, men, or they’ll eat you alive! Ha ha ha ha. Judith wanting support from friends and claiming she deserves to be happy is played off as something we scoff at. Chelsea, Charlie’s girlfriend and fiancée? The ball and chain thing, similarly to Judith, but not nearly as manipulative - this one we can see really means well and wants to help Charlie, but he’s a Man™ and cannot handle that, despite claiming to love her very dearly. Lindsay, Alan’s on again, off again girlfriend? Oof. Where to even start with that one. As most of the characters (save for maybe Judith), she starts off decent, despite her inexplicable desire for Alan. (Seriously though what in the world is up with that.) Also, now that I mentioned Alan’s weird sex appeal (not to me but to the female characters of the show, ew), what the hell was up with Judith wanting to suddenly fuck him again and HIM ENDING UP BEING THE FATHER OF HER DAUGHTER???? Was that the point when the writers just said “you know what, fuck this” or?

Some additional things the men on the show did to women:

Infidelity. Aka “ha ha ha many women want man what a lucky bastard he gets to fuck many women ha ha ha oh no he’s been caught ha ha ha funny”.

Infidelity with their friends/family members. I’m pretty sure this happened multiple times. One of the male protagonists gets a girlfriend. Girlfriend has an attractive daughter. Man sleeps with daughter. Girlfriend is mad. Man claims that it is actually a compliment to her because the daughter is just a younger version of her. Man gets upset when girlfriend disagrees. Poor man, girlfriend mean :(((

Another thing I would like to point out is the show’s dumbass approach to sexuality and gender. It’s the age old, straight men bullshit that lesbians = hot, gay men = ew. We see that throughout the whole thing a bunch of times. Alan ends up marrying Walden (whom I will talk about as well) so they can scam an adoption agency. That’s just wrong, man. That’s awful. And regarding gender, the way this shitshow handles trans people is disgusting. I can currently only think of one instance of this, but I have a feeling it happened multiple times, but with Charlie and Alan. They meet a woman, flirt, sleep together, all fun and games. But for some god forsaken reason, after all is done, the woman decides to be like “yeah by the way I used to be a dude” and?? Why?? First of, why would any trans person want to tell anyone their deadname and other things after successfully transitioning? I’m a cis woman, but this really makes no sense to me. Please correct me if I’m wrong on this one, but if you’ve spent years trying to pass as whatever gender you identify with, transitioned, you wouldn’t exactly go around sleeping with people and afterwards telling them about it, would you? And second of all, the entire reason why these characters appear are so we can be like “eww he slept with someone who used to have a penis eww” and laugh as they have a small crisis because of it. Just. Why?? I am aware that this is a thing other shows do/have done as well, but it really bothers me. And even when the guy decides to roll with it, all we get are those jokes that the woman is “more manly” than him. I remember vividly Alan hooking up with a trans lady and briefly dating her, only so we can see her pick a fight with a man, pay for their food and shit and Alan being flustered because he feels like less of a man. Again, please correct me if I’m wrong since my knowledge of gender is limited, but I’m about 97 % sure this is not how it works.

One would have thought that most of this would end after Charlie’s death. His place is taken by Walden Schmidt, portrayed by the angel that is Ashton Kutcher, a “billionaire internet entrepreneur who has recently been divorced and is now suicidal” (wiki). Before I dig in to how it actually got worse, let’s talk about Walden for a while. He really is a nice change. Walden is a genuinely good character, we see him working super hard and treating women well and just being great. I actually like him. The problem the show has when it comes to him is treating his suicidal-ness as just another little joke. Ha ha ha man wants to die man weak. Funny. But as we get over this part (rather quickly tbh), things involving Walden get actually good (besides the part where he sleeps with Alan’s mother). We do see some annoyingly familiar divorce related things, but in contrast to Alan, we see Walden actually get back on his own two feet.

Alan will forever be my biggest issue with this show. I don’t know if he gets worse or if it’s just the contrast with Walden that makes it seem that way, but he becomes a bigger and bigger parasite, exploiting Walden’s kindness, becoming a lover to his, at that point, former girlfriend Lindsay and somehow exploiting her current boyfriend? He just goes haywire is what I’m trying to say.

I’m not saying that people like that don’t exist. We see it every day, the rich playboys, the pathetic incels. They are everywhere and we totally should talk about them. But not like this. We shouldn’t feel like we should sympathise with them, we shouldn’t hate those that try to criticise them, or those who want to get rid of them. We shouldn’t laugh when they hurt people around them. Men shouldn’t want to relate to them. Characters like this should be presented as something we should avoid becoming.

“What’s your problem? It’s just something I watch to unwind,” my father scoffs at me as I complain about yet another evening we all have to spend listening to the nonsense Two and Half Men brings us. Yea, maybe for you. Maybe you know better than to treat people around you, especially women, like they’re just something you can play around with and then throw into the sewers. Maybe you give everyone equal respect. (No he doesn’t, by the way.) But you know, with the way this TV channel plays this show over and over and over and over again (five episodes a day, every day, and the second they get to the end, they just start over), there’s probably a number of young people who don’t realise how wrong it is and take what’s said there as something to live by. Maybe they’ll think that it’s okay to use people to their advantage. Maybe they’ll think like a rich entitled middle aged straight white man. That’s my problem. Even though the show ended five years ago, it still lives on our televisions and it still gives us wrong examples on how to live our lives. That’s why I hate the show. Not just the awful writing and “plot” holes. It’s the way it treats people and presents it as something that’s totally fine.

#tv #television #tv shows #comedy #sitcom #two and half men #jon cryer #ashton kutcher #charlie sheen #sexism #misogyny

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taylorroger-s · 5 years ago

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shooting star // ben hardy x reader

a/n hooooolyyyy shit it has been a while since I've written something. this has actually been in my drafts since june, and was originally a response to an ask following me reblogging a prompt list. to the anon that requested it, sorry about that. but hey, it’s now done and personally, I think it’s pretty good. hope y’all think so too

plus, I've been in a ben mood after the 6 underground trailer so that gave me the motivation to finish

masterlist here!

enjoy :)

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you really weren't in the mood to leave the house.

your friday nights were usually spent curled up in your bed, eyes glued to your old hunk of a computer, burning through cheesy rom-coms and seasons upon seasons of any mildly interesting show you could find.

but after a brief pep talk by your roommate, you had dragged yourself to a university party where drunkards snogged in dark corners and booze was in no short supply. you were settled comfortably in the corner of a well-worn sofa, nursing a cup full of what you assumed was vodka and lemonade.

the party itself wasn’t as bad as you expected. letting loose once in awhile always helped relieve some of the stress built up by tests and essays. prior to sitting down, you had spent a good thirty minutes dancing to a strange assortment of classic rock ballads and eclectic disco melodies. once exhausted and glistening with a thin layer of sweat. you grabbed the mystery vodka concoction and sat down.

you were just starting to relax when one of the alcohol-fueled “men” stumbled into the growing circle of people seated in the middle of the chaos, haphazardly leaning on one another.

“yoooo,” the boy slurred, “let’s do… truth or dare!” you groaned, moving to leave when your friend ashley tugged on your arm, dragging you back to her side.

“cmon… it’ll be fun” ash pleaded, throwing her arms around your neck to pull you closer. you could smell the cigarettes, weed, and crude cocktails on her breath. with a dejected sigh, you sunk back into the couch, curling up against ashley. you had never really enjoyed the game of truth or dare. ever since your junior year, when you were pressured into stealing something from the headmaster’s office and ended up with a month of detention, you had avoided it pretty successfully.

“i don’t think so.” you muttered, finishing off your drink with one last gulp. that’s when you heard an achingly familiar voice. ben jones, childhood friend turned sworn enemy somewhere in junior high.

it was difficult to piece together how the rift between the two of your formed. your friendship was so pure, so uplifting. there was no one in the world you trusted more. the beginning of the end came when you had your first serious crush. a boy in your french class named john had asked you to the movies to see the third harry potter film.

but that was the issue. ben and you had seen the first two together, read the books together. suffice to say it was a sacred tradition between the two of you. so when you broke the news to ben about your date, he wasn’t the most supportive. it escalated into a heated argument, before you angrily left his room with tears streaming down your face. later that night he called and apologized, but things were never the same after that. the last true conversation you had ended with both of you renouncing your friendship and going your separate ways. for weeks after, you would catch yourself staring at the phone, waiting for a call; or waiting for the courage to call first. but every time you felt the urge to run back to him, the final words he said would come back to haunt you.

“you abandoned me”

“how could you?”

“i hate you.”

since then, things were never the same. no more late night phone calls, no more movie marathons. when john broke your heart, you didn’t have ben to turn to. you didn’t realize how much you cared about him until that moment. but you weren't about to run back into his arms. so you stayed silent, grew up and went to university without so much as a backwards glance to your former best friend. just your luck that he ended up in the same school, even if he was in a different major. as university dragged on you walked past him in the halls less and less. but then you would see him at parties, exchanging furtive glances when you thought the other wasn’t looking. you hadn’t has a direct conversation in years. so the fact that he was at the same random party, giving you grief, made your blood run cold.

“you don’t have to be such a downer, bugs.” ben chided, taking a sip from the beer in his right hand. there was another, unopened bottle in his left. he had the audacity to call you by a nickname you hadn’t heard in years. at the age of six, the two of you had become obsessed with the looney tunes, watching old reruns from the seventies and following along as new episodes came out. you had been dubbed bugs in honor of bugs bunny by him, and you took to calling him beaky. you could remember vividly scratching the words ‘bugs and beaky forever’ into a tree not far from your primary school’s front yard. he called you bugs? well two could play at that game.

“that’s rich coming from you beaky.” you shot back, keeping your eyes trained on a generic painting hanging on the opposite wall. you could feel him shift on the other side of the couch’s arm, taking a seat no more than two feet away from you. after a moment you couldn’t resist the pull and took a quick glance at your ex-best friend, sucking in a breath as he came into view. he had ditched the justin bieber hair you remembered, letting it grow and curl around his ears. you pressed your lips together in a firm line, slowly tearing your eyes away from his chiseled jawline and striking green eyes.

“alright, everyone have a drink?” the boy who introduced the game called, holding up a cup of his own. everyone raised their own in response. you glanced down at your lap where the empty cup sat. whoops. just when you were toying with the idea of simply bailing from the party, an unopened bottle dropped into your lap, cold against the denim fabric of your jeans. you whipped your head to the side, where ben was quietly watching the plastered people arranged in the messy circle. you stared at him for a moment before he spoke.

“you’re welcome” he huffed, taking a sip from his own, identical bottle. you twisted off the cap, twiddling it between your fingers for a moment.

“thanks.” you said through gritted teeth, shutting yourself up from saying anything more with a long swig from the bottle. and so the game began. you sat there, head on ashley’s shoulder, laughing at the silly dares asked and often scandalous truths. someone would spin an empty bottle in the center of the circle, and whoever it landed on they would ask that stupid, fated question. truth or dare?

you weren’t subjected to anything too horrible. anytime you reached a question or dare that you were uncomfortable with, you would simply take a quick chug from your steadily emptying bottle and laugh. as time dragged on you had confessed the worst cocktail you ever drank, the weirdest dream you ever had, and had given someone a brief kiss on the cheek.

once your turn rolled around the third time, you reached for the bottle, spinning it with a bit of difficulty due to the beer pumping through your system. it spun in two complete circles and then just a touch more, landing square on ben. just your luck. you turned to him, locking eyes with his stunningly green ones. he really was quite gorgeous. it made your breath catch in your throat as you pushed out the question.

“truth or dare?” you breathed, raising an eyebrow in challenge. your mind filled with a number of different options and possible outcomes for his response. part of you wanted to be malicious and embarrass him for some crude form of revenge, but deep down you still cared deeply for ben and would hate to see him miserable. there truly was a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.

“truth.” ben stated, crossing his arms firmly across his chest. his nonchalance steeled your spine and you held your chin high. your judgement was admittedly impaired by alcohol, but it was too late for you to change your mind. you needed to know the truth, whether or not it was in front of an audience.

“what’s the biggest lie you’ve told?”

he took in a sharp breath, moving his steely gaze to the frayed edges on his shoelaces. no more than a few seconds had passed between your question and his response, but it felt like an eternity. you clenched your fists repeatedly in your lap, habitually cracking them as the room stayed quiet. ben sighed, lifting his eyes just a tad to watch you through his long eyelashes.

“that i hate you. that you abandoned me. that i never wanted to see you again. take your pick” he almost hissed out the words, jumping to his feet and walking out when he had finished. you sat in stunned silence with the rest of the group, slowly processing what he said. someone coughed, another sneezed. still the silence stretched on. then ashley elbowed you in the ribs.

you whirled around, mouthing the word ‘what?’ and giving her a glare. she rolled her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. you crossed your arms over your chest, raising an eyebrow at her as you waited for an answer. she pointed wildly towards the door that ben had disappeared into, eyes wide as she gestured. it was very easy to read her exaggerated movements. she wanted you to talk to him. you knew you had to talk to him. but you didn’t want to. yet, after a beat, you groaned internally and headed towards the door, flipping ashley the bird as you left.

ben was a few rooms away, brooding silently as he gazed out a window. you took a seat across from him, resting your head on the chipped window frame. there was a plush bench situated against the wall, pillows tucked up against the glass. the two of you were seated on the floor, curled in similar positions, mirroring each other. the party seemed to have resumed in the other room, giggles and fits of laughter filling the air.

"so…" you began, grappling for some way to start up a conversation. you heard ben let out a heavy breath through his nose, tucking his hand under his chin. his profile was bathed in moonlight, casting a monochromatic glow on his chiseled features. his lips were turned into a distinct frown.

"so what?" you rolled your eyes. just as stubborn as he was when the two of you were kids. it summoned a memory of him nearly beating up a boy for calling you names, while you did your best to drag him away. always your defender, whether you needed it or not. another memory to make your heart ache as you sat straight across from that same, hot-headed boy.

“are we going to talk about what just happened?” you said, tone slightly terse. you suddenly wished you were back in your room, curled up in your covers, repressing memories of a happier time. a time where your only worries were what games to play and looney toons episodes to watch. a time where it was just you and ben against the world.

“suppose so.” he sounded just as tense as you, which for some reason pissed you off. he didn’t have to answer the question with something that hadn’t ever been addressed between the two of you. he could have said something inconsequential and you both could have continued on with your lives. but his admission needed to be dealt with, and it fell to you to make him explain.

“since you seem so keen to begin a conversation, i’ll start. why did you lie in the first place?” you could feel a lump rise in your throat. even after years of no contact, you still cared about him. his rejection all that time ago still stung. you deserved to know the truth.

“next question.” ben answered, voice still flat and emotionless. however, you could tell that he wasn’t unaffected by your prying. the muscles in his jaw had tightened, and you watched as he ran a hand through his hair. his gaze was drilled on something out the window, as if he was adamant not to look at your face.

“fine, smartass. why did my going on a date piss you off so much?” you were now fully focused on him, silently begging to any god that might exist for an answer that you had waited so long for.

“it wasn’t that you were going on a date,” you raised an eyebrow, doubtful of his answer, but he continued speaking, “it was that you were going to see harry potter. that was our thing. our tradition. in my adolescent boy brain, you were replacing me.” he suddenly sounded years younger, just like the boy you would play football with in the dead of night and share sweets with after school. his expression had also softened, eyes tentatively flicking back to you every couple seconds.

“you know that nothing would ever replace you. thick as thieves, mum used to say. i never would have replaced you for a middle school crush. so, why. did. you. lie?” you sounded strained, mad that he had ever for a moment thought anyone was more important to you than him. no person could fill the space he left behind.

“because i was jealous alright? jealous that you chose him over me. jealous that he got to hold your hand, take you to dances. i was jealous because i loved you, and you slipped away before i did anything to show you how much i cared.” ben snapped, tone softening as his confession went on, voice cracking near the end. he had been waiting to say those words for what felt like a lifetime. a weight was lifted of his shoulders, and, by association, yours as well. despite the somber nature of your conversation, you could feel a smile spread across your features. you were now entirely looking at each other, stupid, love-struck kids once more.

“ben, you total dork. i would have chosen you over him every time. you were who i truly cared about. but i’m not a mind reader, so when you never said anything, i assumed it was because my feelings weren’t reciprocated. therefore, i tried to move on. didn’t work by the way. nothing i did could make me stop loving you.” you reached out a hand and he gently took it, lacing your fingers with his. he too had a soft smile on his face, gaze shifting to your intertwined hands. his thumb rubbed small circles on the back of your hand, warming your skin with his touch.

“guess we're both idiots.” he looked back up, locking eyes with you. all at once, your feelings came rushing back. you could do nothing else but smile as the minutes passed by, still connected to ben through his outstretched hand. you tilted your head to look back out the large window, tracing the shapes of constellations between the stars. one flew by; a shooting star. your wish was simple: that you never had to let go of ben ever again.

“guess so.”

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yee haw kids i’m finally getting back into it (if you call finishing off a draft that’s been there since june getting back into writing but shh)

here’s to more motivation in the weeks to come!

#ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy x you #benhardy #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy fluff #ben hardy angst #ben hardy fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #fluff #angst #idk if it can be called either but oh well #writing #please oh please reblog #help a girl out #that'd be stellar

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blu-joons · 4 years ago

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DATING SUPER JUNIOR A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Lee Donghae

A ⇴ AFFECTION

You can guarantee when Donghae gets affectionate with you, his cheeks are a dark shade of red. He finds affection very reassuring and comforting, so will often try and hold you against him or bury himself into the crook of your neck.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

Being a bit quieter than some of the other members, you were intrigued by him when you first met the group. Hyukjae could tell instantly that Donghae had taken a liking to you, he tried to often bring the two of you together in conversation because you were usually too shy to approach each other. He found himself talking around you a lot more which he loved.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

He was incredibly shy when it came to confessing, he was a perfectionist, and nothing could go wrong. He didn’t plan anything huge, just in case he got rejected, but he still put together a nice meal at his house, a casual movie night was all he had planned. When he turned to you at the end of the film, you had a funny feeling that something was going on. It took a while, but eventually he built up the courage to tell you exactly how he felt.

D ⇴ DATES

Your dates were quite typical, Donghae loved to pick you up in his car and drive you around before taking you somewhere nice. Your dates had a lot of variation too, sometimes you’d just go out for dinner, but other times you’d try something a little more competitive, maybe the arcade or bowling. He was super competitive and hated when you won, especially when it meant the loser paid for dinner. He’d often surprise you with little songs or poems that he’d written late at night whilst working on music for the group on your dates.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

For a long time, he’d been too nervous to date, he knew that the other members were louder, so girls tended to gravitate towards them. When you began to pay attention to him, he had a strong feeling that this was the world’s way of telling him he was ready to start dating. It had been a long time since he’d been in a relationship, and at times things felt very strange to Donghae, but you were very understanding. He loved being around someone, he hated being alone, so very quickly the two of you began to spend a lot of time together as Donghae learnt about love again.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

If the two of you ever argue, expect a lot of tears. One minute the two of you will be yelling across the room at each other, desperate to win the argument, and then the next minute, you’ll look across and see Donghae struggling to hold back his tears. He hates conflict and confrontation, it breaks his heart, and eventually gets him very upset. As soon as one, or both of you, start getting upset you’ll make the decision to sit down and talk about everything, preventing things from getting any further out of hand then they already are.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

He was very keen for you to meet his family, after only a couple of months he invited you to a family dinner with him. There were thousands of questions on your first meeting as everyone tried to get to know you, but luckily for you, they were very impressed by your answers, and very impressed that Donghae had found you.

H ⇴ HOME

Again, he doesn’t always like to be left alone in his own company for too long, so it won’t take long before Donghae mentions about moving you in. To begin with, you’ll just think it’s a bit of a joke, but after the fifth time of mentioning it, you’ll begin to realise he’s being serious, and start to talk about it properly together.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

Donghae was the first one to say it one night at the end of a date. As he pulled up in front of your house, he didn’t want to see you get out of the car. Before he’d even realised what he’d said, the words came from his lips as he tried to encourage you to spend the night at his. Your head snapped around with a wide smile, as you told him you also loved him too.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

He’ll try hard not to get jealous in your relationship, but sometimes he just can’t help it. He knows he’s not the loudest person in the room, so there’s usually someone who has your attention more than he does. If he gets jealous, he’ll become very reclusive, he’ll usually walk away so he can deal with his emotions alone so no one else can see. When you look around and notice he’s not around, you’ll quickly walk around until you find him, recognising straight away what’s going on. He’ll always apologise for feeling that way, but as you always assure him, jealousy is only a natural feeling.

K ⇴ KIDS

He wanted kids at thirty-three, so when that didn’t happen, he was desperate for it to happen as quickly as possible. It didn’t take long before he brought them up for the first time, and when you moved into his apartment, the conversation became a lot more serious. The two of you would spend many late nights talking about how you imagined your lives in the near future, deciding that you’d wait for when the time was right.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

Donghae laughs more than he talks most of the time, which you laugh. He’s got a bright smile, one of your favourite features about him, and seeing him happy always touches your heart. He’s very good with cheesy jokes, which as much as you don’t want to laugh at, you usually end up doing so. He loved to make you laugh, he’d always be tickling you or doing something funny to bring a smile to your face, especially when he knew you’d had a bad day. If he’s not making you laugh, he’ll somehow find a way to make sure that you do.

M ⇴ MISSING

He hated being away from you, it was incredibly hard on him. He’d always worry about you and fret that you were by yourself, checking up on you numerous times throughout the day. You’d have long phone calls whenever the two of you could find the time, usually they wouldn’t end until one, or both, of you fell asleep. He’d also send you plenty of photos so you could see all the fun things he was getting up to, expecting the same from you too so he could make sure that you were taking care of yourself. The minute he got home; he’d refuse to leave your side for quite some time.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

He’s very affectionate with his nicknames, ‘bub,’ is his favourite as it’ll always make you smile. You love to tease him with nicknames, knowing how hard he’s working on his body, ‘muscles,’ will always wind him up.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

Donghae is obsessed with your eyes, he feels like he can tell a lot about how you’re feeling from your eyes. He also loved to hold eye contact with you, even if he usually does end up getting too shy and looking away.

P ⇴ PDA

He’s quite shy when it comes to PDA, he hates to make a massive deal of pointing your relationship out to people. His affection is very subtle, he’ll usually hold your hand, so people know that you’re his without being obvious. If he’s in a playful mood, maybe he’ll peck your cheek or something, but that’s usually as far as he goes.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

One of the most frequent questions he’ll ask is if you’re busy. Whenever he’s worked on something, whether it be music, or a recipe, he’ll be desperate to get your opinion on it.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACT

After a little over a year into your relationship, Donghae began to introduce you to people as his wife. The people close to you always referred to the fact the two of you acted as a married couple, so Donghae would love to play on that. What he enjoyed more however, was the confused faces of people, who searched for a ring with no idea what he was going on about.

S ⇴ SEX

Very loving, he’s very attentive and very romantic. He’ll always work hard to make you feel special, he doesn’t care if he doesn’t get as much attention, you’re his priority. He loves to have your hands in his hair, it always makes him shy. He loves to take his time and pay as much close attention as he can to you.

T ⇴ TEXTS

He doesn’t text you often when he’s at home, but the second he leaves you for tour he’ll text, constantly. He tries to have as much contact with you as possible so it can still feel like you’re there with him.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

Not many people appreciated his character as he was so quiet, but you were definitely one of them. He had plenty of quirks, and terribly cheesy jokes, but whilst others would tease him for it, you’d always laugh and make him feel special.

V ⇴ VACATION

He’s very keen on taking at least a few days out of his schedule in the year to take you on holiday. It’s his way of making up to you the many days you’re left waiting up for him to come home, or not even seeing him at all. He’ll tend to keep it all a secret, and surprise you that morning with tickets for somewhere he knows you’ll love.

W ⇴ WHINING

Donghae doesn’t whine often, but if he needs your help with something, he’ll be sure to let you know about it.

X ⇴ XXXXX

In private, he kisses you quite often. If you’re sat at your desk working, he’ll appear with a kiss to your cheek and a mug of coffee, or when he finds you sat reading, he’ll come up beside you and kiss the top of your head. His kisses are always when you least expect them, which in turn means they’ll always end up making you blush.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his best friend, well, if Hyukjae would ever allow you to be.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

He loved to have you nice and close when he slept, especially if you were playing with his hair. You’d have many late nights staying up, laying face to face and talking about anything that came to mind.

---

Masterlist

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ohnohetaliasues · 5 years ago

Text

Stones to Abbigale {Ch.6}

(Kat)

We’ve established that I suck at intros, so let’s just get right into it.

Quite a few days passed. Everything felt like it was falling into place with Abbi. She had become the center of my world and I felt like I was finally really finally enjoying my life.

I’m done saying you’ve known each other for less than a week but okay.

One morning my nose woke me up, there was an unfamiliar but pleasant smell filling my bedroom. For the first time in a long while breakfast was ready for my sister and me. My mom had made eggs and waffles. To my surprise Rick was, again, sitting at our table. Him being there completely explained why my mom was making breakfast.

Uh. Great.

I approached everyone already sitting and said good morning. Rick seemed a little nervous and again my mom asked that we all have a talk. I sat down not so sure of what to expect.

Rick spoke “Listen, I don’t want to tiptoe around this topic. Your mother and I want to move in together.”

You’ve been dating a few months, that is not an awesome idea.

My sister’s arm went limp as she was attempting to eat making her fork smack against her plate as she dropped her jaw simultaneously.

That was described so weirdly I can’t.

While she was normally overdramatic about most everything, her reaction pretty much summed up how I too was feeling this time.

‘Most everything’ is going to make me have an aneurysm.

My mom tried to soften the blow by saying “And yes, this is going to be a pretty big transition for all of us but we’ll make it through.”

It began to hit me harder as I thought things through; there was no way Rick was moving in with us, our little condo was already overcrowded. Rick was the one with the higher-paying job, which meant most everything

Fuck you.

I knew was at risk to change. I began to feel panicked, “You... Mom I have Abbi.”

No you don’t. You’re not even dating her.

I said.

My mom looked concerned and Rick blurted out “Listen, we’re not going to break up your relationship for the sake of ours, we’ll figure something out ok?”

I felt like I was going to pass out; I kept thinking about the horrible timing, that I finally I had someone I bonded with more than anyone else and they were going to make it far more difficult for me to be with them, because of what? Rick had said it would work out but I barely knew him. I had learned some time before to trust people on what you know them to be, not what you hope them to be. Rick hadn't been around long enough for me to see him in a significantly positive or negative light and in that, I realized hope was all I had.

I have no words to express how annoyed I am here.

I stood up and said, “I’m sorry, I’m not hungry. I’m going to go wait for the bus.”

Everyone silently sat at the table awkwardly pushing around their food as I gathered my things. As I was brushing my teeth I could hear my sister crying and ranting dramatically in the background. Once again, she reacted externally how I felt inside.

Crying isn’t bad, James.

Davis could see my upset posture out his window as the bus pulled up so as I walked up the steps this time he screamed, “I love you so much! I wish you were my boyfriend!”

That is not how friends talk to each other, Onion.

I hated myself for giving in yet again, but laughter escaped me. My life was turning completely upside down and Davis was there to make me experience a fragment of happiness.

As I sat down, Davis grabbed me and hugged me.

Someone sitting a few seats ahead screamed “Eeew homos!” which made Davis yell back, “I love him! This is love!”

I want to shove my head through the wall.

He jumped onto the seat with his little body and pressed our faces side-by-side “Look at our love!” I patted his arm that had been wrapped around me sarcastically and he released me to sit down. Immediately he asked “So what’s up buddy? How can I turn that frown upside poopy poo poop?”

On what planet is that something that is allowed to say?

He could see I was still a bit upset and didn’t really want to talk so he did his classic “Well, I’m always here!” It was nice having Davis to keep me afloat.

Since I began my Teacher’s Assistant work with Mr. Hanson

Wait since when did you accept that job?

I felt buried in needless information about his job. He was constantly ranting about the low pay, working conditions and hours.

I’m sorry, but being a teacher isn’t like working in a sweatshop, or so I’ve heard since I’m 17 and am not a teacher myself, but you get the picture.

Despite all this he would still remind me about how happy it made him to see some students overcome the horrible condition of our school and succeed regardless.

Why is your school not shut down for cleaning? This violates health codes. Schools can not be literally falling apart while students still attend, it just isn’t what happens.

Ms. Robertson would stop in from time to time while I graded papers. Whenever she visited she and Mr. Hanson would bombard me with questions. They would ask me how I liked being a TA, random questions about the state of the school and discuss academic politics. I kind of felt sorry for Ms. Robertson, we never had normal conversations, it was almost always about her job, almost as if that was all she knew.

I hate this so much.

While she was visiting that day, Ms. Robertson could tell I was upset about something so she asked and I confessed I was pretty bummed out. I wasn’t specific because I wanted Abbi to be the first person to know what was going on between my Mom and Rick.

Ms. Robertson replied “Well, this better have nothing to do with you know who.”

Shut your mouth, you nosy bitch. That is actually none of your fucking business.

I found the fact she was still butting into my relationship with Abbi to be incredibly annoying.

More like strange acquaintanceship.

I said nothing in response hoping ignoring her bringing up Abbi would give Ms. Robertson the hint I didn’t want her talking about Abbi.

Something about this sentence is just... weird?

Finally it was time for PE and Abbi greeted me as happily as she ever did. I didn’t want to ruin her day so I asked her to call me later that night to talk without hinting too much regarding what it was.

Despite my efforts she could see it in my eyes, she said “If you have something on your mind, I really want you to tell me.”

I came back from reviewing a Hetalia OC because I needed a break and I forgot what was happening, so that’s fun.

I tried to think of the best way to say it but couldn't, so I just told her that I had to tell her later.

She replied “After school?” and I agreed.

I hate how dialogue is written in this goddamn book.

Throughout gym class her behavior changed completely. She picked up so well on my concerns that it consumed how she interacted with almost every person and thing around her.

The mere worry of some bad news caused her to appear significantly depressed, almost as bad as before we began talking.

Abbi was waiting by my bus as I walked out of school. I had been thinking about the best way I could tell her all day. “You have to tell me,” she said before I even finished walking.

I didn’t delay my response as she had waited long enough, “My mom’s boyfriend is talking about having my mom move in with him, he said he’d make things work with you and me despite the change.”

Abbi kept looking back and forth at me, then to the side, speechless.

I continued, “I can’t leave you behind.”

She interrupted as tears already began forming in her eyes “I can go with you.”

For fuck’s sake you’ve--

Oh, never mind, I give up.

I paused in disbelief; in a single moment she expressed as much desperation for me as I had been feeling the last few days. It was as if every action she took repeatedly proved her perfect alignment with my intentions.

We were becoming like gears turning in sync, unable to be slowed or broken by any obstructions. She waited for a response, looking at me nervously.

I smiled and said, “Actually, I was thinking I might be able to stay here alone. My mom owns the condo and I’m 17, so I donno.”

I am also 17. My mother would never let me stay alone in a condo with my boyfriend or girlfriend, neither of which I have.

Abbi’s nervous expression faded slightly and she said “Have you talked to your mom about that?”

I replied with “No, but I won’t let us get split up, and...”

Oh my god I hate both of you.

I paused still in disbelief that she was willing to come with me if I left. Abbi started to smile, feeling more certain I wouldn’t leave her behind.

I continued, “I’m glad you... said what you did. I know now either way it should work out.” She giggled excitedly and immediately jumped on me while simultaneously wrapping her legs around me happily kissing every part of my face but my lips.

I said “Whoa” laughing and thinking in the back of my mind about how surprisingly easy she was to carry.

I am not invested in this romance at all since I was given no time to get attached to these characters, so this is just kind of nauseating.

Later that night, I spoke to my mom about potentially staying home and continuing to go to the same school considering I was graduating the next full school year. She seemed hopeful but said she had to talk to Rick who had returned to his home past the mountains to work.

You’re fucking kidding me.

His mom is actually considering it?

When we spoke on the phone Abbi and I mostly stayed away from talking about the move. We focused on topics like colonizing the moon, strange creatures we have yet to discover in the ocean and if robots will become so much like humans one day that they’ll begin to have the same legal rights as us. Some topics were pretty silly but we didn’t really care, it was just fun to hear what we could come up with talking about things we barely imagined till then.

Onion really wants this to be a John Green novel, doesn’t he?

At some point in the night Abbi brought up a more serious topic. “I noticed something about you, when we’re in gym class.” she said, I replied asking her to elaborate.

She said “It wasn’t just in class, once I saw it I began noticing it everywhere. You barely pay attention to any other girls, even when they talk to you. You rarely even look at them most the time.”

I laughed and replied “I do that intentionally you know?” she asked why and I continued “Because I don’t want to risk you thinking for a second you’re not the most important person to me.”

This is alarming.

She replied in an amused tone “Even when I’m not around?”

You two aren’t even dating!

I added, “When you’re not around, I like to pretend you still are. So in a way, there’s no such thing as being without you.” She warmly laughed and we quickly went back to much lighter topics.

I actually crave death.

Abbi wound up falling asleep on the phone with me. Listening to her rest, how peaceful she sounded.

Okay, so that last bit is an incomplete sentence.

Despite knowing it wasn’t true, I couldn’t help but feel like everything was still perfect.

Okay, whatever. You guys are still annoying.

This is the opposite way you want your readers to feel about your characters. Because I only feel annoyance regarding them.

I’ll see you later.

~Kat

#stones to abbigale #onision #onision cannot write #Mod Kat reviews stuff #Mod Kat reviews things #mod kat #help me #cringe #bad books #abbi needs help #I like literally none of these garbage characters #burn this #kill it with fire #kill me with fire #mary sue #gary stu #boring characters

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queertazsecretsanta · 5 years ago

Text

A gift for @nekosd43, created by @all-made-of-stardust!

You gave me a great challenge, as I've never written Taagnus before! I actually really enjoyed writing it, and I hope you enjoy reading it! Happy Candlenights!

The dish that Magnus crafted is based on this recipe I found online: https://damndelicious.net/2015/01/30/bacon-ranch-cheese-ball/

Oddly enough, it was Davenport who suggested the Secret Star King.

This cycle was by far not the first one where they’d celebrated Candlenights alone on the Starblaster, decorating a bush Merle had cultivated the months before, singing a few songs, and enjoying each others company. But up until now any gifts they exchanged were small, and somewhat superficial, as at that point being with each other mattered more than any material goods.

That ideal still stood when they arrived on Loven, a softer tranquil farming world filled with kind people and quiet nights. The Light had landed in the mountains to the east, and upon a short journey over and up, the crew found a small colony of monks living cozily in the cold. They were surprised to see strangers, but quite friendly. And after Davenport did some quick negotiations, they happily produced the Light, with no argument. The crew was ecstatic.

“Please,” one of the monks said. “You seem like decent people. Will you stay in our world for Candlenights?”

The whole crew fell silent.

“Candlenights?” Davenport asked, not wanting to misunderstand.

“It’s this world’s holiday festival. We’d be delighted if you would join us.”

Someone else celebrated Candlenights.

“We’d be happy to,” Davenport answered.

So here they were, a few days later, gathered in the city hall of one of the larger cities in the world (though it really wasn’t that populated). Around them, many people worked to decorate with festive fun, while the crew drank Fantasy Eggnog and relaxed.

“I’ve been thinking,” Davenport announced. “If we’re going to be here during proper Candlenights, we should celebrate it properly too.”

“What do you mean?” Lucretia said, taking a sip of her eggnog. It left a layer of nutmeg on her lip.

“We have a whole world to explore. Why not try and come up with an interesting gift to a random person?”

He grinned.

“Why not a Secret Star King?”

Taako, who up until this point had been lazing back, relishing the breeziness that the mission had underwent, jolted forward with a start.

“Random person, did you say?” he asked. He wasn’t sure he much cared for the idea. On one hand, he could get Lup, and that’d be easy. He could get Barry, or Lucretia, and it would be challenging, but interesting.

Or he could get Magnus. And that was a problem.

Magnus, who had been sitting forward eagerly, tried his best not to shrink back at the idea. He’d know what to get Merle, or Davenport. Hell, he’d most definitely know what to get Lup.

Or he could pull Taako's name. And that was a problem.

*****

Davenport seemed to be set in his decision, and not thirty minutes later he returned to the table with his captain’s hat upturned in his hand.

“Go on!” he goaded, smiling.

Taako hesitated.

“What if we get our own name?” he joked, stalling for time as the others reached in. “We pamper ourselves?”

Davenport shook his head.

“You simply redraw.”

“I was afraid of that,” Taako muttered as he pulled a card. He peeked at it through barely closed eyes.

Magnus.

Damnit.

He glanced over at Magnus, who was staring at his own card. The man had a damn good poker face. He had a good face in general, actually.

Magnus looked up, caught him staring, and flashed him a toothy grin.

"I know what I'm doing!" he declared.

Taako had half a mind to get Merle to cast Zone of Truth.

Instead, he retreated to another room, closed the door, and slid to the floor. He clutched the card tightly between his fingers, rereading the name over and over again, like it would disappear if he tried hard enough.

Magnus.

The name itself was evocative of the man it belonged to. Bold, strong, courageous, fearless. Taako remembered when he first saw him - the goofus was taking bets on how much beer he could chug before finally being beaten in a fight. A lot of beer, apparently, because even when he was swaying on his feet he held his own and knocked the lights out of the other guy - a bully, Taako knew, which made him endeared to Magnus in a way he couldn't quite describe. And it wasn't the brute strength, the high constitution modifier, or even his muscles (though the muscles were a nice bonus) that made Taako do a double take. It was his bravado - the fact that he stood up to a bad guy, and won. It was something Taako would never be able to do. Lup, maybe. Definitely. But not Taako. No, Taako wasn't worth much in a fight, and he wasn't worth much in Magnus' eyes either. He was an idiot wizard who conjured party tricks. Magnus deserved someone leagues better. Courage and strong will. Hospitality - now that was something Taako never seemed to be able to give.

But he'd be damned if he didn't make the perfect gift for Magnus. The big guy deserved that much at least.

Besides - maybe this would be a chance to show Magnus how he felt. He sure as hell wasn't going to say it in words. Maybe not a confession - a simple gesture would suffice. He knew he would never gain anything from it anyway.

*****

Magnus found a quiet corner by a fireplace, and he sat down heavily on a chair. He looked at the paper once more and sighed, running a hand down his face.

Taako.

The name had always meant warm feelings for Magnus. Watching the wizard practice his spells like they were nothing. Watching him laugh and joke with Lup, watching him love. Magnus knew Taako was capable of far more than the elf ever gave himself credit for, and Magnus had always supported him.

Said support had landed him squarely in the friendzone, and he didn't mind it - it meant he could still be close. Still be with him. Gods knew Taako wasn't going to go for someone like him. He deserved finesse. Beauty. Someone who could love him. Like Magnus did.

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. It had been this way for cycles now, he had lost track. But now, he held a potential key to everything. Maybe Taako would never reciprocate anything. Magnus was fine with that. But maybe he could make something that made Taako happy. That showed him what he meant to him. He wasn't going to get anything out of it but a nice smile, but gods that smile would be nice.

****

This plane was built around sturdy buildings that weathered many a storm. So Taako knew he could find somewhere with the right tools to make the perfect gift.

He had decided on creating a model version of the Starblaster. And he refused to use transmutation to do it - no, this was going to be done by hand, and it was going to be done right.

Problem was, he didn't know how to do it.

In the main town where they had settled, Taako asked around and found a carpenter named Rosemary, who had built several of the town’s homes and had contributed to the architecture of the city hall. Magnus would like her, and she seemed very eager to please.

She gave him a place to work, all the tools and supplies he could imagine.

“If you need anything, just holler!” she said, before shutting the door and leaving him to it. He looked down at the workbench.

Fuck.

He had no idea where to start.

*****

The food served here was warm, hearty, and delicious, made from the freshest ingredients and by the best of hands. So immediately Magnus knew what he was going to give Taako.

He asked around and found a chef named Bill, a kind man, who was willing to lend out his kitchen to Magnus and provide food to cook with.

“Anything for a lover’s gift!” he said with a wink.

“No, it’s not - ” But he was already gone. Magnus sighed and looked around at the kitchen. An oven, a fantasy fridge, a knife block, cutting boards - everything he needed.

Shit.

He had no idea where to start.

*****

The Secret Star King swap was about a week away, but to Taako it might as well have been tomorrow. He cut wood, sanded it down, measured twice, cut once, and at the end of the day found himself with a broken piece of oak and a dowel that was way too big.

He was sighing into his hands, ready to try again, when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Not going well, Ko?”

He turned to find Lup, observing his disheveled attempts.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. “Shouldn’t you be working on your own gift?”

She waved a hand.

“Oh, mine’s simple.”

“Who’d you get?”

“Now, do you think I would tell you that? What if I got your name, hmm?”

Taako rolled his eyes.

“Let’s hope you got something good for me then.”

He turned back to his monstrosity and let out a long breath.

“Gods know I’m not doing so hot.”

“Magnus?”

Taako tensed, then just as quickly let it go. Figures she would guess it in one - she wasn’t an idiot.

“Yeah,” he admitted. “Stupid thing won’t piece together, though.”

“You know you could easily use magic, right?”

“Yeah, thanks, I didn’t know that,” he said, sarcasm dripping.

“So why the extra effort?” Lup asked innocently.

“I, uh - ” He stammered. “Just wanna make something nice for him, y’know?”

Lup was standing with a hand on her hip, judging him.

“Uh-huh.”

“He, uh - ” Fuck. “He..he deserves it.”

Lup shook her head, clucking her tongue.

“Oh, you’ve got it bad,” she chuckled.

Taako blanched.

“No!” he protested. “No, it’s just a gift, I don’t want - I never - ”

“Taako? My sweet brother whom I love very much?”

Taako gulped.

“Yeah?”

Lup reached out and placed a firm hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t lie to me, kay?”

It was a downright threat, and Taako stared at the floor, laughing nervously.

“Yeah, okay, find, maybe I do love the huggable idiot,” he admitted under his breath. “But you can’t tell anyone, you got that? Especially not Lucy, gods I can’t have her writing this shit in her books.”

Lup smirked.

“Your secret’s safe with me.” She tightened her grip. “If you tell him at the gift swap.”

Taako tried to reel back, but her grip was like a vice.

“Lup, you know I can’t - ”

“Hmm, then I guess I can tell Davenport to call the whole thing off. No more Candlenights, because my dork of a brother refused to confess to his - ”

“Lulu, please.”

“ - and gods know the others would be heartbroken and - ”

“Okay, okay, fine!”

She was still smirking, but she loosened her grip and stepped back.

“That’s better.”

Taako massaged his shoulder where her fingers had dug into his skin.

“You’re a right piece of work, you know that sis?”

She grinned.

“I know.”

And she walked out of the room.

*****

Magnus didn’t cook.

Sure, he knew basic meals, picked up on a few things from Taako. But he didn’t have the same touch Taako always carried. Give him a wild rabbit to skin and stick in stew any day. But the dishes Taako made were more than boring old stew. And Taako deserved more than just stew.

He didn’t think it could be that hard. Lup did it all the time, and she wasn’t a transmutation specialist. She had just learned from the best - why couldn’t Magnus do the same?

He experimented around with ingredients. Got some prime cuts of beef and lamb from the farmers outside the main city. Spices he borrow from a few kind merchants - they were new and alien, but he figured they couldn’t be that far from those that Taako usually cooked with. Mashed potatoes - now that he could do.

He thought.

Not wanting to officially cook the dish until the day of the gift swap, Magnus attempted smaller micro-dishes - taste samplers. His first attempt had gone...sour was the literal phrase. He didn’t know what he’d done wrong. Second attempt wielded a sad lumpy mess of limp carrots and overly-salted potatoes.

He was in the middle of trying something else - grilling lamb cuts - when Lup popped her head into the kitchen, startling Magnus. He accidentally knocked the lamb into the fire, and he scrambled to turn off the heat in time.

Lup laughed as he recovered the now charred remains of the lamb. It was a moot point anyway - the meat had been dull, grey, and dry from the start.

“Not going well?” Lup asked, looking over his large shoulder.

Magnus sighed.

“You two always make it look so easy!” he complained.

Lup patted him sympathetically.

“Didn’t know this is what you wanted to do with the cycle. I thought you’d be out exploring the plane with Davenport.”

“It’s not for the cycle. It’s for Candlenights.”

Lup raised her eyebrows.

“Oh?” She stepped around him, sniffing at the meat. “So you got Taako’s name?”

Magnus looked shocked.

“N - no! I mean - this could be for anybody! Lucretia likes lamb, doesn’t she, maybe it’s for her!”

“Mmm-hmm.” She picked up a carrot, examining it. “You know, this is an awful lot of effort for just a silly old gift. Why not just make him rabbit stew? You know we all love that.”

Magnus shifted slightly, staring at the counter and fiddling with the burner controls.

“I think - well, assuming it is Taako, which I’m not saying it is - I think he, uh...deserves something better than rabbit stew, y’know?”

Lup’s eyes widened slowly, and a smile crept onto her face.

“Oh. Oh, Magnus.”

“What?”

“Nothing!” she said, so quickly Magnus almost didn’t recognize the coyness in her tone. She stepped around the counter, tracing her fingers along the ingredients he’d picked out. She picked up a spare clove of garlic and twirled it expertly in her hand.

“He likes bacon,” she hinted. “Just in case it is his name that you got.”

She waltzed out of the room, tossing the garlic over her shoulder. Magnus caught it awkwardly, and stared back down at the stovetop.

******

It was two days until the gift swap, and things were not going well.

Taako had struggled to bite down the magic in his fingers, and he'd earned several splinters and a sore thumb from missing the nail with the hammer. He was gonna do this right goddamnit.

But all he had managed to do was carve some maple in the rough form of a ship. He had hacked away at it to make the interior hollow, and he wasn't even close to the proper shape. In fact, it looked somehow worse than the Starblaster had on the bad cycles, where it had taken some hits.

As he attempted to shear the top of the hull, the knife slipped, and he cut a deep gash in his finger.

"Ow, ow, fuck, stupid piece of -"

"You okay?"

He looked up, still clutching his bleeding finger. Magnus was standing in the doorway, looking concerned.

"Hey, big guy!!" Taako flung out his body, trying to cover the table behind him. The blood speckled the canvas cloth underneath. "Yeah, I'm fine, nothing to -"

Magnus was already running over to him, grabbing his hurt hand and gently bringing it up to him.

"What happened? Slip the blade?" he asked, already pulling out a spare bandage because of course he had spare bandages in his pockets, Merle wasn't always around to heal everything, and Magnus never wanted to see anyone hurt. The thought made Taako's heart swell a bit.

"Yeah, yeah," he admitted. "I'm fine though, really, I'm -"

He hissed sharply as Magnus tugged the bandage taught. Okay, maybe it was a bit worse than he thought. But Magnus was taking care of it. Like he always took care of everyone. Of Taako.

"Thanks," Taako said quietly.

"Of course!" Of course. "Lup sent me over here to check on ya. So, what are you working on?"

He looked over Taako's shoulder and spotted the shitty wooden ship.

"Oh, cool!" Magnus declared, picking it up. "You're making Davenport the Starblaster?"

Taako let out a breath. He was gonna kill his sister.

"Yeah, totally making it for him!" Taako lied through his teeth.

"Having a shit time with it too," he murmured.

"You want me to show you some tips?"

Taako almost laughed. Yeah, have Magnus teach Taako how to make his own gift.

He shrugged. "Why not?"

He stepped forward while Magnus smiled at him, eager as ever. Taako's heart skipped a little at his dopey grin.

"Okay, so first off, you need to sand down the wood before you even start carving it, otherwise the blade will get caught in the bark."

Taako picked up the wood and the tools, ready to try again. He followed what Magnus was saying, smiling slightly.

"Alright, now you've gotta use the big chisel to carve away the big bits."

Taako looked down. There were several tools, all looking like chisels, all similar sizes.

He picked one up.

"No, the other one."

Another.

"The other one."

He moved to pick one up, and suddenly Magnus' hand was on his, guiding him to the right one.

"That one," he said softly.

Taako realized Magnus was standing right behind him, almost embracing him, his tall figure a good foot higher than Taako's. He led Taako's hand firmly but gently over to the wood and showed him how to knock away the excess pieces. His hands cupped Taako's, occasionally squeezing down, helping him with the finer details. Magnus' words continued above him, spouting instructions, but Taako was content to just listen to his deep voice. He found himself leaning backwards, ever so slightly, into Magnus' tall frame, and he closed his eyes, just for a second, breathing him in. Imagining if this could be real.

"Taako, are you -"

Magnus stiffened, aware of where Taako was, and Taako backpedaled, pushing himself up and away, but he was caught between the table and Magnus' arms. He spun, extricating his hands and holding them close to his chest as he stared up at Magnus. He was staring right back, so close. Taako could feel his breath, almost taste his lips.

Magnus was the first one to snap out of it, shoving himself backwards, blinking hard.

"Yeah, so, does that help?" he asked, his voice even. Of course it was. Nothing phased Magnus, not even his best friend making bedroom eyes at him after he practically spooned him.

"Yeah, my man, thanks for the tips!" Taako said, his voice squeaking slightly. Damnit, pull yourself together.

"Welcome." Magnus offered a smile. "Can't wait to see the final product, I bet Dav's gonna love it!"

He turned and left before Taako could get in another word, leaving Taako in a lurch. Why did he do that, what the hell was he thinking. He's not interested. He doesn't want you.

He sucked in a breath. He was going to absolutely murder his sister.

******

Taako stormed into his bedroom, but Lup was already there, leaning back on her bunk and reading a book.

"How'd it go?" she purred.

"You absolute bastard," he grumbled. "That was all your idea!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," she said, putting the book down and examining her nails. "I just figured you needed some help, you poor thing."

Taako fumed, sitting with a dramatic thump onto his own bunk.

"You're just trying to torture me," he groaned. "Your own brother!"

"I don't see what's wrong with having Magnus help you with your present. He doesn't need to know it's for him."

Taako pointed an accusatory finger at her.

"You know very well that's not what I'm upset about."

Lup smirked.

"I told you you needed to confess by the Secret Star King. I was just... speeding up the process."

"Making things worse is what you did."

He sighed and fell back onto his pillow, a hand to his forehead. He saw Lup roll her eyes.

"Tell you what," she offered, sliding off her bunk to kneel next to his. "I know for a fact that Magnus needs help with his gift."

"What's he doing, baking a pie for Lucretia or something?"

"Something like that."

Taako sat up.

"Sis, I was joking."

"And I'm not. He's struggling so much with the cooking and I know you wouldn't want to poison poor Lucretia…"

Taako shook his head, laughing.

"Man, we are all out of our league, aren't we?"

"Well I'm not," Lup said, beaming. "I'm having a fantastic time with my gift. But you two idiots could use some help."

She stood and returned to her book.

"Just don't go fainting into the oven, alright?"

Taako grabbed his best hat and stuck his tongue out at her. She replied in turn, then buried her head in her book again.

****

Magnus was burning the food. The smoke was very quickly filling the whole room, and he was coughing, trying to figure out what was going wrong. He struggled for the off switch on the stove, and he didn't notice Taako until he dove for it, before swiftly covering the charred mess in the pan with its lid. He panted, then looked over at Magnus, who was slumped against a bar stool, still coughing somewhat.

Damnit. You were so close and now he's here, witness to your failure.

"Hey, Taako," he said weakly, as the elf tried to wave most of the smoke out the window. "Lup send you?"

"My sister was under the impression that you needed some help."

He eyed the disaster on the stove and scooped it up, taking it to the open air to cool off. Magnus was still upset, but he pulled himself up quickly. He couldn't let Taako see him like this.

“Yeah, well, I mean - ” he stammered, staring down at the food. Not at Taako.

“Listen, my man, it takes some practice. But it’s pretty simple once you get the hang of it.”

“Easy for you to say,” Magnus sighed as he sank down into his seat. “Here I am, trying to make the perfect dish, and you - ”

“Perfect dish? For Lucretia?”

Magnus gaze shot up to Taako. Oh thank fuck, Lup must have bought the lie after all.

“Maggie, you know that woman will eat anything you make her, she loves your stuff.”

“I know!” Magnus said carefully. “I just...wanted her to have something nicer.”

“Hmm,” Taako mused as he examined the remains of the mess in his hands. “Was this bacon?”

Shit.

“Um, it was? I was trying something out with cheese, and...”

He gestured to the wreck. Taako smirked before dumping the whole thing into the garbage.

“Okay, if you’re going to be working with cheese, like making it fancy, you can’t just melt it over any old pan.”

He cleared a space on the counter and opened the fantasy fridge behind him, peering inside.

“What sort of flavors were you thinking?” he asked as he rummaged around.

Magnus tried to come up with something that wouldn’t clue Taako into the ruse.

“Uh...barebeque?”

Taako slammed the door and turned, glaring at him.

“Magnus, I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that.”

He dropped a block of cream cheese into Magnus’ stunned hands.

“It’s simple – whip this up with a bit of cheddar and...”

He perused the shelves before grabbing a bottle and tossing it to Magnus. He caught it awkwardly, still staring at Taako.

“Worcestershire.”

“I, um...” Magnus examined the bottle. “How do you pronounce this again?”

Taako laughed.

“Look, Magnus, I can’t hold your hand through this. So I’m giving you a head start. Fly free little bird. Can’t wait to see if Lucy likes it.”

Magnus took him in. He was leaning casually on the counter, smiling, but his foot was tapping in the nervous tick Magnus knew meant he was nervous. He shouldn’t know that, it meant Taako had become everything in his mind, but that was the truth. He knew Taako better than the elf probably thought he did, and all he wanted to do was prove to him that he could give him something amazing. Something incredible and delicious.

His fingers tightened on the bottle. If Taako said it would taste good, he would make it.

“Alright, Taako. Thanks.”

“No problem, kemosabe, any time.”

His foot was still tapping, and Magnus looked at him curiously. Taako didn’t have any reason to be nervous. He always knew his way around the kitchen.

“I’ll try it out today.” Magnus turned back to the fridge and pulled out a bottle of ranch dressing. “What about this?”

Taako’s eyes widened and he made a small noise that Magnus couldn’t really get a read on.

“Maggie, that’s up to you to decide.”

He pushed himself up, and now his fingers were tapping the same rhythm. Magnus just didn’t get it. He put the bottle down gently as Taako backed out of the room.

“Good luck!”

He was gone before Magnus could respond. He stared down at the ingredients in his hands.

He didn’t think Taako had actually given him any cooking tips.

******

Taako sucked in a deep breath the moment he left the kitchen. What the hell was he thinking, giving Magnus the stuff to make one of his favorite dishes? And why in the ever loving fuck did Magnus know exactly what ingredient (the stupid ranch dressing) would make the whole thing perfect?

“He doesn’t care, he doesn’t care, why would he care so much?” he muttered as he half-ran down the hall.

He ran headlong into Lup, and suddenly there was paper flying everywhere, Lup cursing as she knelt to try and pick it all up.

“Goddamnit, Ko, I spent all morning on this, and now you’ve gone and - ”

Taako took a second look at the paper. It wasn’t blank, there was writing all over it. Lup was holding what looked like an empty cover.

“Lup, what is - ”

He snatched a piece out of the air and read it over.

- was some of the best fun I’ve had in ages. Your smile was so lovely, and your laugh made me feel –

Lup grabbed the paper back from him, almost ripping it in half. She was blushing.

“None of your business, is what it is.”

He eyed the cover that she was shoving all the papers back into.

“Is this for Lucretia?”

Lup didn’t answer. She collected the final pieces before shutting the cover forcefully and standing up.

“Oh ho ho, you are not in love with - ”

“Taako, I’m gonna make you a deal - ”

She shoved a finger in his face.

“I won’t say shit about your thing for Magnus if you don’t say shit about this.”

Taako was still shocked.

“Wait. If you got Lucretia’s name, then why the hell did you say Magnus was cooking for her?”

Lup closed her eyes and cursed.

“Lulu,” he chided. “He pulled my name didn’t he?”

She stared at the ground.

“Maybe,” she grumbled.

“Oh no,” Taako realized. “I just told him how to make the perfect dish for me. Oh, god, Lup, this is going to backfire horribly, you can’t let this happen.”

“Last time I checked,” Lup said, pulling the journal closer to her. “It wasn’t any of my business.”

She shoved past him, shouldering him hard, leaving him to think.

Magnus knew what Taako wanted. He was going to make him exactly what he wanted. And Taako was supposed to sit there and take it like it wasn’t the most pathetic thing to happen to him.

The gift swap was tomorrow.

He groaned and headed back to the workshop.

He had a ship to finish.

******

The morning came beautifully. There was a layer of fresh snow on the ground, the Candlenights bush was alight, and everyone around them was celebrating.

Davenport had polished up the Starblaster’s living room with a small bush of its own, and everyone had their gifts ready.

As Taako expected, Lup gave Lucretia a journal full of stories they had shared. Lucretia had turned beet red, and so had Lup. Merle gave Barry a new pair of somewhat patchworked blue jeans he had made himself, and Barry gave the dwarf a Candlenights pumpkin he had tried to grow in a greenhouse. It was deflated, and sad-looking, but Merle loved it anyway. Davenport smiled cheerfully as he gave Lup a simple sweater with the IPRE logo, that he said he had knitted himself.

It was Magnus’ turn to present his gift, and he produced a large plate surrounded by buttery crackers. In its center there was a giant cheeseball, covered in herbs and bacon. Taako could smell the ranch from across the room, and his mouth watered just looking at it. Magnus had outdone himself, and Taako had no idea why. Why was he worth so much? He shouldn’t have ever helped Magnus. He should have just –

“Taako?”

Davenport was trying to get his attention.

“Taako, it’s your gift next, right?”

“Yeah. Coming right up.”

He left the room and returned with the Starblaster model in his hands.

He was particularly proud of himself, actually. The beautifully sculpted hull was painted the shining silver of the real thing. The cockpit was sleek and smooth. The thing even had the name etched into its side, carefully done by fucking hand (and his fingers still hurt from doing it). But it was done, and it was pretty, and from one look at Magnus Taako could tell he loved it. Taako’s heart swelled up to just look at the big guy’s expression.

“Taako!” he gasped. “Taako, that’s incredible!”

Taako smiled sheepishly as he set the thing down on the table.

“Thanks. I wanted to make sure it looked good for - ”

“Davenport, that’s gotta be the best present ever!”

“Wait, what?”

Magnus turned to Davenport, who looked shocked too, but Lucretia was shaking her head.

“No, I had Davenport’s name. Magnus, that ship’s for you.”

Magnus stared at Taako.

“For me?”

Taako was gaping at him.

“Wait, wait. You think I made this for Davenport?”

“You were so focused on it, you were so passionate! You must have loved Davenport so much and I didn’t want to - ”

“Davenport? Davenport? Excuse me, why the ever loving fuck would I be in love with Davenport - no offense Dav - ”

The gnome shrugged.

“Davenport?!”

“I didn’t think it was for me!”

“You idiot, of course it was for you!”

“Why did you put so much effort into something that I would - ”

“Okay, back up, Taako’s not answering that question, you should be answering mine, which is why the hell did you put so much effort into my gift?”

Magnus blinked at him.

“Lup said it was your favorite.”

“Lup said?!”

Taako whirled on his sister, flipping her off with both hands. She saluted him, and he turned back to Magnus.

“Magnus, you nearly killed yourself in that kitchen. Why didn’t you make your rabbit stew? You know I would have been happy with that.”

Magnus looked saddened.

“I wanted it to be special. For you.”

Taako took the words hard.

“What, so now you’re taking pity on me?” he spat. He didn’t need this. This extra effort. “It’s bad enough seeing me by myself all the time, you had to go and embellish it?”

Magnus was shaking his head, but Taako wasn’t having any of it.

“You’re such an idiot, Mags, a real prize. It’s already hard enough having to see you dance around with people on the different planes. Dancing with people who weren’t me. Now you gotta go and remind me that I’m just a pity project to you, someone you feel bad for.”

Magnus was staring at him.

“People who weren’t...you?” he asked, confused.

“Here we go,” Lup stage whispered to the rest of the crew. Taako could have sworn he heard money being exchanged, but he didn’t care.

“Yeah, Maggie!” he yelled. “Not me! Because you’ll never dance with me, no matter how much I want it. You wanna know why I put so much into this hunk of junk? Because you deserve the best, Magnus Burnsides. You wanna know why I know that? Because I love your stupid face too much, and I’ll never give you second best, even if all you’ll do is bake me a pity cake and serve it with a smile.”

Magnus was dumbstruck. Lup was smirking. And Taako was panting hard, his braid unraveling at the end, his fists balled up tight.

“Look,” he spit out, storming over to the plate with Magnus’ cheese ball and scooping it up, almost spitefully. “I’m going to enjoy this in the comfort of my own room. You win, Lup.”

He flipped her off again, pointedly ignoring Merle and Davenport eating popcorn by the window. His asshole of a sister must have handed it out. Fine, whatever.

“Show’s over people,” he muttered.

“...I have a stupid face?” were the only words he heard from Magnus before Taako slammed the door behind him.

******

The worst part about all of it was that the food was exceptionally good. Magnus had outdone himself, always and forever, like he always would, and it made Taako even more pissed. Because of course Magnus would go all out. Of course he would devote all this time and energy and effort into making Taako the perfect dish because the dumb idiot never wanted anyone to feel left out. He felt bad for Taako, seeing him on his own.

“Whose fault is it that I’m alone in the first place, huh?” Taako muttered spitefully as he took another bite. He didn’t mean it. He didn’t blame Magnus - he blamed himself. But that wasn’t Taako’s area of expertise, so he threw the ball back in Magnus’ court because having an imaginary scapegoat for your own problems is better than confronting them yourself.

There was a tentative knock on the door. Taako groaned, setting aside the food delicately (he still wanted to eat more) as he forced himself to his feet and stormed over to the door.

“Lup, I swear to god, Fantasy Jesus, Jeffandrew, and literally everyone in the Celestial Plane that I am gonna - ”

He wrenched the door open, ready with a string of curses. But it wasn’t Lup. It was Magnus.

“Hi,” he said timidly.

Taako moved to close the door, but Magnus stuck his foot out and caught it.

“Please,” he offered, desperation in his voice. “I just wanna talk.”

Taako rolled his eyes and sighed loudly, throwing his hands up in the air as he walked back to his bunk and the plate of delicious food. He threw himself onto the bed and waved a hand dramatically, inviting Magnus to enter.

“Not much to talk about, my man,” he said, pointedly ignoring Magnus’ puppy dog eyes. The whole thing reeked of the adoration that Magnus usually poured into things. Selfless loser.

“I didn’t mean any of what you said back there. I promise.”

Taako took another spiteful bite. God it was good.

“Listen, you’re the team lover. We’ve all heard the stories, we know each other. It’s been, what, fifteen cycles? Twenty? The idea that you wanna care for all of us isn’t anything new, Mags. I get it.”

“Taako, I do care about you, just like everyone else, but I - ”

“That’s all I gotta hear, Maggie.” Taako finished his food, savoring the last taste of bacon on his tongue. Magnus was struggling for words.

“The Starblaster,” he said slowly. Taako knew he meant the model ship Taako had slaved over, as much as he wanted him to be talking about the one they were in. If only so they didn’t. Have. To talk. About this. “Why were you so focused on it?”

Taako curled his legs up to his chest and looked out the window, away from Magnus.

“I told you why,” he said dully, almost under his breath.

“I guess I don’t...you’re always so bold, Taako, I...I never knew you’d want me.”

Taako recoiled further and closed his eyes.

“Yeah, well.”

Why wasn’t Magnus leaving? Things would be so much better if he just wasn’t there.

“Taako.”

Magnus’ hand was on Taako’s, and he wanted to leap back, hissing, because no one touched him except Lup, at least not like this, not when he was vulnerable and messy and dear god why did Magnus have to look like that?

His eyes were big and watery, there was a hesitant smile on his lips, and he looked cute, the absolute fucker. He was making Taako’s heart skip three beats at a time, and it wasn’t fair.

“What do you care anyway?!” Taako snapped, shoving himself up from the bed and marching to the door. Magnus’ hand hovered midair where it had been touching Taako’s skin moments before. “We’ve both played our hands, made our beds. Now I’ve gotta lie in mine, and you in yours, and we’ll move on!”

He yanked open the door and pointed firmly at the hall outside.

Magnus looked heartbroken, and it made Taako furious.

“Why do you have to look like that!” he cried. “It’s bad enough you look down on me - ”

Magnus stood suddenly.

“Taako, no - ”

“ - and now Taako’s gone and opened his big mouth and said shit you were never meant to hear and I - ”

Magnus was in front of him, towering over him with his big frame and muscles that could hug Taako so warmly and goddamnit.

“Taako, I love you, okay?” Magnus shouted.

“Yeah! That’s exactly the problem!”

Magnus shook his head and grasped Taako’s shoulders, and as much as he wanted to shove them off and run the other way, he found himself rooted to the spot.

“Taako, I don’t pity you! I don’t want you to feel good, or have nice things, or be cared for because I’m obligated to! I want perfection for you, Taako, because I love you!”

Taako opened his mouth for a retort and stopped short, one finger raised in retaliation.

“You - you’re saying that you specially cooked a meal - ”

“Yes.”

“And did all this work - ”

“Yes.”

“And asked my fucking sister to help you - ”

Magnus stuttered. “I d - didn’t exactly ask her - ”

“Oh, shut up you lovable idiot.”

Taako threw himself forward and kissed Magnus with as much as he could muster in the span of three seconds, before he pulled back, his hands still gently grasping Magnus’ shirt. Magnus looked surprised, and immediately Taako tried to push himself away.

“Never should’ve...stupid, I’m so fucking stupid...I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m - ”

He didn’t realize what was happening until Magnus’ lips were on his, and they were kissing again, longer and deeper. Taako felt the door close quietly behind him before Magnus had lifted him into the air, pressing him against the door and wow, it felt like flying kissing this man, this big stupid lug who cared too damn much for his own good.

In a breath that he almost didn’t want to take, he looked at Magnus, at his soft eyes and dorky smile.

“I fucked up,” he whispered. “I didn’t know - ”

“You’re forgiven,” Magnus said softly, kissing him gently on the cheek.

“That bacon was really fucking good.”

“I know.” He was kissing his neck now, oh my god he was kissing his neck.

“How much do you think the team lost on the bets?” he asked, trying and failing to distract himself from Magnus’ strong arms and his careful fingers.

“Bet they didn’t expect this,” Magnus breathed into his ear, and Taako stopped talking then, because even if this was a fluke, a one off, Magnus’ pity going to the extreme -

But it wasn’t. He felt that, somewhere inside of him. Magnus had a tiny ship and Taako had a licked-clean plate to prove it. This wasn’t going to go away.

Somewhere down the hall, Lup listened in on the bedroom and beamed as she collected her winnings from everyone around her.

Next to her, Lucretia started a new page in her books.

#nekosd43 #all-made-of-stardust #queercandlenights #taz #the adventure zone #taako #magnus #taagnus #fic

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