#Rambling rambling the others in the system say I'm in denial and that we might have something

[jupiter--dream]

The second I realize that I was like "oh today's morning has been very easy" and then I was like "that's bc I didn't wake up with a big headache" and then I was like "I actually do still have a smaller headache but today I was in less pain and actually could have a normal morning. Is this how people without constant headaches and fatigue live every day???"

Siiiiigh, perhaps I shan't give up on getting my mom to get me checked with a doctor-

[syscultureis]

Um, I don't really know how to start this, but I don't really know how to um deal with this I guess, I think I have P-DID?

Like, the thing is is that I guess I'm in denial? Like, the thought of having P-DID is distressing but after reading the ICD criteria, it's the only thing that can explain all my (? ours? theirs?) behavior

I mean, I've always been able to notice myself (?) Shift into different personality states (kinda like being conscious but having things like my behavior, my thoughts morphed and changd, like being a puppet involuntarily controlled by an outside force, and i found that it happens during specific situatiobs)

Like I have states that i can define, but they feel like more of a different version of me? Like I'm a robot with different identity knobs which can be switched ig??

I don't really know if I should refer to these states as alters or smth, I've only been able to classify them by the way they control me and my behavior? But I've never heard them, I don't know if they have identies? I don't really have a headspace persay, and the idea of not being the only person in my body is extremely distressing to me (I'm sorry I don't know if this is a rude thing to say or a bad idea to have)

I'm sorry I'm rambling I'm just stressed about the whole thing and I don't know what to do, I can't pursue proper diagnosis due to my family being extremely against therapists, psychiatrists and such, like I don't want to believe it's true but from the research I've done it's quite literally the only possible option, sorry for just writing this all, I don't rly know how to be reacting rn

Honestly your experience sounds pretty similar to ours

In early system discovery, our host at the time described what they were feeling as "I Don't have DID, I just feel like I'm the body of a DID system"

As we did more research, and healing and just general self discovery, we learned more that our current host was aware of cofronting, and co-consciousness, and because they were trying to figure out "what was wrong with them" they were more aware of it than they had been before

It was scary and distressing, and actually did contribute a bit into them going dormant and me taking over (it was not the main reason, the main reason for the host change was personal. But this did add to it a bit)

When I took over I just straight up forgot the previous host was even thinking about that, I had passing thoughts about it (probably from other alters who had realized during that time and wanted me to be aware too)

Things changed the more we became aware of our own system functions, and even now years later we still learn new things

Usually I don't recommend denial, accepting yourself and all your parts (regardless if you're a system or not) is important to being able to thrive and live.

However, if it's causing you distress, there's nothing wrong with stepping back and just letting yourself breathe for a minute. Don't worry about knowing everything about yourself 100% of the time with 100% accuracy

When I started my own questioning, I had to step back from it a few times. This is a disorder that tries very hard to be covert (even if the brain is bad at it sometimes), it's not always going to be easy to figure it out.

But there were also times where I just focused on my system instead of trying to rule out DID completely. If I noticed I felt like someone else was near front, I talked to them. We found personally that talking out loud worked best for us, even if it was just the full fronter translating thoughts into words.

It helped me accept it more, and the idea of having DID became a bit less scary because I was becoming friends with the other alters

This might not work for you, and that doesn't mean you aren't a system if it doesn't, this is just what helped my system

[rice-n-honey]

Int o Post

(warning from the future: this entire post was written during a concert, and as such, is chaotic beyond belief. there is some actually useful information about tags though.)

Hey! I'm Rice!

And no, its not because I'm asian—

"'I am asian, BUT, that's not the point.'"

Yay! Another quote stolen from auto.

(the funny thing is that you're not asian—)

(I'm not asian!)

("I'm here to do an intro post but mostly to clown on auto." Not like I asked for this...)

(I need to clarify, that the entire time, you were taking to yourself.)

(Shush! ... we should probably quote that)

"Its not mine, but I'm keeping it."

Even the quote is stolen from auto. Just like their intro page.

Pronouns:

well I'm certainly not antinoun.

(they/they)

TagTag Chains:

(+tagging in general)

Tag me. I will have fun. I might not see it tho bc Tumblr hates me, but I'll do my best. Tagging games are fun!

What I post about:

(subject to even MORE rapid change)

Primarily

Danny Phantom (dp)

DP x DC (dpxdc)

Scum Villain's Self Saving System (svsss)

Lego Ninjago (ninjago)

(It was MINE before it was yours auto-)

(*hysterical laughting*)

('laughting.')

(shutup.)

Writing Prompys (writing prompts)

Other things that I love:

Grammar.

(ah yes, up there with spelling)

(don't call me out auto)

Batman (dpxdc is slowly getting me into batman)

Lego Ninjato (auto's fault.)

Danny Phantom (technically, I already put this. But I need somewhere to compile the fandoms auto infected me with.)

Riorrdanverse

She Ra is neat

MXTX's works. All of them.

Also ErHa.

I am so normal about Malevolent

Things I Write About:

Danny Phantom

Scum Villain

There is some other stuff on my Ao3 but this is the current stuff.

(m)Y Tags

(I did not have tags before this. I once again blame auto.)

(not everything is my fault.)

(it is <3)

Rice cooks (rambles, writing, anything written tbh.)

Honey drips (art.) (Auto came up with this one.)

(that like- this is not all my fault!!)

(denial is more than a river in egypt beloved)

(denial is more than a river in... Alberta.🇬🇧🎩)

SGWoWMA (Saying Goodbye [Will-'o-Wisp Me Away] my ongoing dp longfic. I need to write more. And actually publish something.)

Chicago au (writing/art/memes for mine and @secretly-an-automaton 's dp fic)

luh-loyd ninjabuse (writing/art/memes for my lego Ninjago fic, which, as the working title implies, is angsty and lloyd-centric)

danny saves opportunity au (its literally what it says. Danny saves opportunity from mars!)

save for later (I know it's generic but it's what is says on the tin. I need something to be simple in life.)

Requests:

I'm always open yo eruyibng?fraeubg rwqhrstd. U nughy noy alwayd do them, rdprguakkh it I'm bhdy.bbht don't be shy about sdjung. I don't do commissions but so long as abgthing I ctsatr us inku used for personal reasons and with proper credits! In chill euth it.

(did I spell anything correct the first time?)

(... Maybe 'i'??)

Just check auto's. It's the same.

Other places to find me:

Archive of Our Own/Ao3

In your house. In your hose.

(blame auto, as always)

(*incomprehensible squawking* stAp)

Last Updated:

Now.

November 13, 2023

Next Updated:

Upon Armageddon's Dawn.

And that's all I've(?) got for now? Have a lovely day. Do it. 💙.

Question

Everything

(Another day, another quote.)

(And we ball.)

•—<•>—•

(Tumblr is having a stroke🎶)

(No that was just me.)

( ... Rice is having a stroke🎶)

Hi, I’m Auto!

This is an intro post; if you’d prefer, just shuffle my blog for a sample of the madness 💚

Pronouns:

I’m cool with whatever

Tag chains:

(and tagging in general)

Feel free to tag me—I won’t always participate if I don’t have the time but I love to see what my mutuals are up to! Don’t be shy about sending asks or DMs either.

What I post about:

(subject to rapid change)

Mostly

Danny Phantom (#dp)

Lego Ninjago (#Ninjago)

The Magnus Archives (#tma)

Sometimes

Miraculous (#mlb)

DP x DC (#dp x dc)

Malevolent (#malevolent)

Starkid musicals - mostly Hatchetverse (#starkid)

Aromanticism (#aro)

The Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System (#svsss)

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - mostly 2012 (#tmnt, #tmnt 2012)

Surrealism

Dungeons & Dragons (#dnd)

Other things I love:

(but are rarely found on my blog)

WOE.BEGONE

Project Hail Mary

Gravity Falls

Alice: Madness Returns

X-Men

Spiderverse

Bendy and the Ink Machine

Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss

Mr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

The Hunger Games

Riordanverse

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Tokyo Ghoul

Minecraft

Things I write about:

Posted

Danny Phantom (16 works)

The Magnus Archives (1 work)

Unposted (as of yet)

Miraculous

X-Men

TMNT 2012

My tags:

Auto speaks (general ramblings)

Auto does art (mostly digital fanart, occasionally other crafts or cosplay)

Auto writes (writing challenges, AO3 links, and fanart based on my writing)

WAYHiL au (art, memes, and writing pertaining to my dp au fic)

Resource (mainly for personal use, contains any posts I want to refer back to)

Note: I try to tag common triggers like gore, needles, SH etc. but my TWs aren’t perfect so follow me with caution. If I post something you think I should tag, feel free to tell me.

Requests:

I’m always open to writing/drawing requests! I might not always do them, especially if I’m busy, but don’t be shy about asking! I don’t do commissions, but so long as anything I create is only used for personal reasons and with proper credit, I’m chill with it.

Other places to find me:

Reddit (u/Aut0mat0nWitch)

Archive of Our Own (Aut0mat0nWitch)

Last updated:

April 13, 2024

And that’s all I’ve got for now! Wishing you all a lovely day 💚

[bangtanreadingcorner]

three words, eight letters (i love you) • kim namjoon

plot – it was never supposed to go this far, but then it happened. you both said i love you.

words – 3.3K

It started out casual.

You and Namjoon met at a party years ago, and the attraction was immediate. The only problem was that neither of you had time for something serious - you as a world traveling model and him as a world traveling artist. So, after spending a mind-blowing night together, you two both agreed in the morning after that it was a one time thing and wouldn't happen again.

That lasted until the next time you saw each other two months later. The morning after you two agreed that you were open to sleeping together if you are near each other and both willing and it wasn't exclusive because this attraction between you was too hard to ignore.

What neither of you told each other, was that you had no intention of sleeping with someone else.

A year and many chance encounters later, you both decided to be exclusive and decided to try dating each other casually. Nothing big, like going out of your to see each other but more like finally exchanging numbers and texting, calling and Skyping each other. You still agreed only to see each other in person when you both happened to be in the same place.

(And if you both snooped around to figure out where the other was to plan a visit when the longing became to much, well, you certainly weren't telling each other.)

It was good, for three blissful years life was good, great even, until one day it all blew to hell.

It started with a good morning call from Namjoon.

You grinned, despite the early hour as you picked up the call. "Hey, handsome."

"Good morning, gorgeous. You sound sleepy." You heart thumped with the term of endearment. You could hear the smile in his voice.

"I just woke up." You admitted through a yawn. You looked at the time, and shuffled back under your covers, intent on sleeping further once your call with Namjoon was done.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." He said, voice apologetic with a tinge of guilt.

"It's okay, I don't mind." You told him honestly. You'd prefer talking to him over sleeping everytime. You yawned again, rubbing at your dry eyes with your free hand, stopped when you realised your make-up artist would have a fit if you showed up with puffy eyes. "Just had a late shoot. I only got home three hours ago."

"Yikes." Namjoon said and you could picture the wince on his face, and it made a sleepy grin tug in your lips. "I'll let you get back to sleep then and call you later on."

"M'kay." You yawned, halfway asleep as the next words slipped out of your mouth. "I love you."

"Love you, too." He replied instantly and without hesitation.

The line went dead silence in the aftermath of your confession.

"I have to go." You eventually blurted, a little mortified, your face on fire and you heart beating in your ears. Suddenly you were wide awake, all sleep gone from your system.

"Yeah, me too." He said and you were glad to hear the way to cracked because it means he was affected by this too.

You never end up going back to sleep, not even able to form a reply later that night when you arrive for your shoot and the make-up artist mutters about your red eyes from lack of sleep.

The photographer tells you there's no sparkle in your eyes. You tell him if he doesn't like your work, he's welcome to request another model. He's right though, you know he is. You go through the motions but your heart isn't in it like it usually is.

It was all the way in Namjoon's hands, just like his heart is in yours, from when you exchanged it earlier that morning.

Then only question is, what are you going to do with it?

You meant the words, you love him and you know he loves you too.

The three special words you've never uttered to another soul outside your family and your few friends. Never intended too either, no matter how much you mean it. It's terrifying, to open yourself up like that, make things between you and Namjoon real on a whole other level.

You shouldn't have said it, you know you shouldn't have. After all, there is a reason you never have before.

You knew it would have hurt in the long run. It was inevitable, with how much you love him. Only now, everything is going to hurt so much more when it comes to an end.

***

Namjoon has never been one to let problems fester and lie, or ignoring a problem until it goes away. You are a personal fan of the latter. The point is, Namjoon is the type to face a problem head on, talk it out and try to solve it.

So, it came to absolutely no surprise to you when five days after the confession, a knock on your door sounded at eleven in the evening and when you opened it, it was Namjoon.

"Y/N." He greeted.

"Hi." You breathed.

He was wearing an oversized t-shirt and loose pants, nothing spectacular, but he still causes your breath to catch, your heart beat speeding up. The want you had for him, has never dimmed with time. It only grew, in fact.

And it wasn't just a physical desire, but a mental one too. You want to know him, ask him about his day, show him the new sketches you drew, listen to him ramble about the new encyclopedia about animals he finished.

You want him - heart, mind, soul and body.

But right now, you just really want to kiss him.

"I'm going to kiss you." You warned him, closing the two feet of distance between you slowly enough that he could say no if he didn't want you to kiss him.

He stood in your doorway, eyes watching you intently, unmoving but the moment you put your hands on his neck to pull him down, just a bit, and kissed him, slowly but deeply, he kissed you back, his hands gripping your hips, pulling you even closer.

He pulled away first, but didn't go far, muttering against your lips. "We need to talk."

You didn't want to talk because then everything would get worse, not better. Still, you needed too.

You stepped out of his arms, placing one more peck against his lips, wondering if it would be the last time ever. You let him in, listening as he closed the door and took off his shoes.

"Do you want something to drink?" You asked when you passed the kitchen.

"No, thank you." He denied and you walked past the kitchen, heading to your spacious living room. You took a seat on the one seater couch, he took one on the three seater, sitting closest to you.

It was quiet, for a long time, neither of you wanting to begin the conversation. Finally, Namjoon gathered the courage first. He asked an easy question, "Did you mean it?"

"Yes." You answered, because you did, and you could see a lot of tension leaving his shoulders. It made you wonder if he doubted it, if he thought that you said it because you were tired. Well, you did only say it because you were tired, but probably not for the reason he thinks, so you decided to explain. "Being sleepy lowered my defenses enough for me to tell you the truth, instead of hiding it from you."

He nodded, accepting your words. "Did you regret saying it?"

You wanted to say no, but it would be a lie.

"A little." You admitted, as honest as possible.

Namjoon took that in, swallowing thicky, nodding again, slower this time. "Why?"

"Because it made everything complicated. And I don't want complicated." You burst out, chest feeling heavy.

"I thought we weren't just sleeping together, that we're dating." Namjoon said, voice tight. There was hurt in there, it stabbed at your heart.

"We are dating." You confirm.

"Then why haven't you told anyone about us?" He asked sharply.

"I have. All of my friends know about you, and tease me mercilessly because of you. They figured out that I'm stupid in love with you, long before I climbed out of my pit of denial." You told him, because if your relationship was going to shit, you might as well tell him everything.

"Have you told your parents?" Namjoon asked, suddenly and it makes you a little defensive.

"Have you?" You retort.

"Yes." He answered, and it catches you completely off guard.

It took you awhile to regain your bearings, because you didn't think Namjoon was serious enough about your relationship that he has told his parents about it. It made you feel happy and guilty, all at once.

You didn't know what to say to him, so you said nothing, sitting in silence again.

"I meant it, too, you know." Namjoon broke the silence again, voice soft as he looked at you so gently that your heart twisted. "I love you."

You inhaled sharply. It was one thing to hear it over the phone, but another thing entirely to hear it from his lips in person. There was only one you that felt right for you to say to him.

"I love you, too." Too much, you thought.

An expression of wonder and awe crossed his face as he looked at you. It disappeared a moment later when he frowned over at you.

"Then what's the problem?" Namjoon asked, a little desperation in his voice.

"I don't want what you want." You said simply.

"I want you." He said immediately, so sure that you know he believes it right now, but right now isn't where this ends. In his mind, this ends with the two of you married, living in a house with a yard, a few kids and maybe a cat and a dog.

It doesn't for you.

Here it comes, you think to yourself, the whole reason you knew your relationship would have never lasted. Not in the long haul. You've thought about it long and hard, over and over, because you want Namjoon in your life for a longtime, but you've never found an ideal scenario where both of you get what you want.

You sighed, deep and sad, shaking your head slightly. "No, I'm not talking about now. I'm talking about the future. You want to get married and have kids. And I-" You inhaled, your eyes burning and voice going softer, wondering if anything would soften the blow you were about to give him. Nothing helped when you finally admitted to yourself your relationship was never going to last. "I don't want that."

A crumpled sort of expression crossed his face, eyes pained when he looks into yours. "Why?"

You shrugged, eyes blurring, memories flashing across your mind. Horrible, terrible memories. You suppress them as fast as they surface. "I just don't."

More silence.

"So what do we do now?" Namjoon finally asked.

"I don't know." You said, feeling your heart cracking a little. You knew it wasn't Namjoon's fault though. He would protect your heart from anything and everything in this world.

Unfortunately he can't protect you from yourself.

***

When Namjoon went home that night, it was with a heavy, heavy heart. The rest of his band noticed the moment he stepped through the door, but no one asked him because if their leader didn't want to talk, you couldn't make him.

Well, one person could.

All eyes turned to Yoongi when Namjoon went to his room after giving them a soft greeting.

"What?" The oldest rapper asks them.

"H-he doesn't look too good." Hoseok said worriedly and the other's voice their agreement. Namjoon has been a little off for a few days now, but not once was he as subdued as he was just now.

"Yeah, he went to see Y/N-noona, right?" Jeongguk asked.

All of then knows about Namjoon's long term girlfriend. It was the oddest relationship ever, to them at least, but the two them make it work and she makes their leader incredibly happy, so they have never shown anything but support.

"Maybe they had a fight." Taehyung suggested hesitantly, because they've never had a fight, as far as he knows. It's why they all feel a little lost right now.

"Whatever it is, it's big. He looked really sad and he's never looked like that when he comes back from seeing her." Jimin said, worrying his bottom lip.

"Go talk to him." Seokjin said to Yoongi, nodding in the direction of Namjoon's room.

Yoongi didn't need to be told twice.

Yoongi entered the room as he knocked. Namjoon was sitting on the floor, against his bed, legs pulled up, forearms resting on his thighs, head in his hands. Yoongi sat down next to him. He gently nudged his arm, "Talk to me, Namjoon-ah."

Then Yoongi waited for Namjoon to gather his thoughts, knowing the younger would talk when he's ready.

When Namjoon finally spoke, his voice was teary and soft, a little bit broken, too, "I've always believed in love and being loved. I believe in it because I can feel it and I experienced it, but with her, it's different."

"Good different, right?" Yoongi ventured hesitantly.

"Yeah, but now. . ." Namjoon's breath hitched, and he took a second to pull himself together. "Now, I'm scared"

Yoongi was very lost. He doesn't know what happened for Namjoon to feel like this or where it comes from. He'll be here, though. For whatever Namjoon needs from him. "Why?"

Namjoon swallowed, "Because I've never felt like this before."

"Like what?"

"Like I can't live without her." Namjoon whispered, sounding like he was going to cry any moment.

"And?" Yoongi said, still confused. That was supposed to be a good thing. Finding someone you love so much that you can't live without them. Right?

"And I'm scared that she doesn't love me the same." Namjoon said, voice still a whisper.

This made Yoongi frown because he and the rest of the guy's have met her a few times and each time, they all saw the complete adoration and utter devotion in her eyes when she looks at Namjoon. "I'm sure that's not true."

Namjoon sighed, knowing he was being a little unfair but his heart was hurting something terrible. "Okay, maybe you're right but, she- tonight she told me that she doesn't want to get married or have kids and that's all I want. And I know that doesn't mean that she doesn't love me but it has a great potential of breaking us apart."

Yoongi was quiet for a long while, processing all that Namjoon has told him. "Have you talked to her about this, Namjoon-ah?"

Namjoon snorted, voice a bit bitter when he spoke. "She just dumped an 'I love you but I don't want a future with you' on me and I sort of just walked away, so no, not really."

"Maybe you should." Yoongi suggested.

"Hyung, she told me that she loves me and then two seconds later she told me that she doesn't want to marry me. Like, ever." Namjoon said again, strong voice growing defeated as he spoke each word.

"Damn, that's harsh." Yoongi sighed, bit down on his bottom lip.

"At least she was being honest with me." Namjoon sighed, heart heavy. "I don't know what to do. She doesn't either." He ran his hands through his hair in frustration, tugging at the strands.

"You're gonna have to decide, Namjoon-ah." Yoongi said after a long silence. "Hold on, or let go."

***

You remember walking Namjoon to the door, making sure to lock it and starting to walk to your bedroom but only reaching the hallway before breaking down. Sobs ripped through your chest, your knees giving in and you sank to the floor.

It hurt, everything hurt.

And you had no one to blame but yourself.

You laid down on the floor, curling into a fetal position, crying until eventually you were exhausted enough that you passed out.

It took two weeks before you gathered enough courage to text Namjoon if you could see each other. He told you that he was in Japan right now and you asked him what city and hotel before booking a flight and a room for yourself. It wasn't for you to use, just a way for you to get into the hotel without any unnecessary questions.

When you knocked on his hotel room, your heart unsteady, your hand shaking, something inside of you knew that this is it.

This is the end.

Namjoon opened the door, and something in his gaze told you that he knew it too. Maybe that's why he didn't call either, these last two weeks.

Your eyes blurred as you walked through the door, fisting your hands to hide how badly they were shaking. You didn't want to sit, too restless. You looked at Namjoon, he looked at you.

"This will never work, not if we don't want the same things. You know that." You told him, voice breaking already. And it was just the start of the conversation.

"I could live without getting married and having kids if I could have you." Namjoon tried to stop what was happening.

You let out a wet chuckle, somehow loving him more for trying. You shook your head, letting out a resigned sigh. "You'll resent me."

"I'd never." Namjoon swore and you could tell he means it.

"Maybe not right now," You acknowledged. "But in ten years? When you see all your friends getting married and having kids?"

"I love you." He said, words a fierce promise, almost an oath.

You gave him a sad smile, "I know, and I don't ever want to change that love into resentment."

"You can't know that." He said, not wanting to let go.

"Yes, I can." You said, a tear finally breaking past its barricade and rolling down your cheek.

Namjoon stepped close and wiped it off, pressing a kiss to your cheeks, the corner of your mouth and finally to your lips. You could feel his body shaking against yours as he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist and it made more tears fall down. You fisted his shirt in your hands, holding tight, not wanting to let go either.

You did, eventually.

"Do me a favour?" You asked in a hoarse whisper when you pulled away, your breaths tangling, foreheads resting together.

"Anything." He agreed immediately.

"Don't forget me. Even if-" You cut yourself off and started again because you aren't delusional and you know how easy it was to fall for him. "Even when you fall in love again. Keep a little place for me in your heart and think of me once in a while." You requested. It was selfish, you knew it like you knew your name, but you will never forget him or stop loving him and if he remembers you once in a while, it would make you feel a little better.

(Not that you deserve it, but you've already admitted to being selfish.)

"As if I could ever forget you." Namjoon promised, squeezing you tighter, leaving out the part where he doesn't think he'll ever fall in love with someone else ever again. You had his heart since the moment he laid eyes on you from across the room of that party four years ago.

You finally pulled out of his embrace, but took hold of his hands. "I love you. I always will."

"Me too." He said, tear escaping from his eyes. You wiped it away with one hand, cupping his cheek.

You pulled him close, kissed him one last time - long, deep and filled with all the love you felt for him.

Then you let go of him, and did the hardest thing you ever had to do in your life.

You walked away.

the end.

[nancypullen]

We're Home

Actually, we've been home for a couple of days- I'm just exhausted. Not even sure why I'm tired, probably from wondering if the people on our flights were super spreaders. Honestly, the airports and flights were better than I expected. The airports looked like ghost towns, security screening took mere seconds, and flying into Baltimore our flight was about half full. Coming home our flights were packed and that made me nervous. We're vaccinated and we never took our masks off in the airports or onboard - I'm not sure what else we could have done. I'd never forgive myself if we carried this awful virus to our sweet, unvaccinated grandgirl. ANYWAY... Our trip was quick but productive. We covered a lot of ground and definitely know where we would and would not like to live. I took notes because I knew that it would all become a blur..."Which town was that blue house in?" We still love Chestertown. It offers an awful lot, especially for people staring retirement in the face. The only problem with Chestertown is that the housing inventory is limited. We saw an adorable house that had been flipped - top to bottom with gorgeous HGTV worthy finishes. But they saved money by not installing central air. As a woman of a certain age, there are some things I'm not willing to compromise on and good air conditioning is one of them. The closer we looked the more it seemed that money wasn't the only reason for leaving out the HVAC update, that perhaps the electrical wasn't upgraded on the (old) home and might not support a system. Farewell, beautiful kitchen. I love the way you look but I'm not willing to sweat inside my home.

We found several neighborhoods in Easton that we liked - quiet, wooded, lovely homes, and convenient to everything from healthcare to shopping. Easton also has a charming downtown. Loads of history, sweet parks, fun shops and restaurants. We explored a bit and sat outside Storm & Daughters ice cream shop and enjoyed a cone. There's a lot to like about Easton and it's definitely at the top of our list. Bonus, Talbot County property taxes are quite reasonable. Just down the road from Easton we toured Denton. It's a small but vibrant town. They boast a cute, historic downtown, and seemed to have an involved community. We found a couple of neighborhoods that we really liked, one even had lots for sale. The downside is that even though it's just a few miles to Easton and Talbot County, Denton is in Caroline County and the property taxes are much higher. Still okay, but high enough to make me pump the brakes. We're definitely not taking Denton off the list, but we'd probably opt for less house there. I'll be honest, my favorite house was in Denton. It ticked ALL of my boxes. Roomy, updated kitchen, pantry, walk-in closets, garage. The back yard was postage stamp sized, but we're not getting any younger so it's fine. The neighborhood was delightful and convenient to so much.

I checked on the property taxes for 2020...almost four thousand. Get outta' here. I know that we're really spoiled with low property taxes here in Wilson County, and we understand that we'll pay more in Maryland...but...ugh. Right now there are people in New Hampshire saying, "Four grand?? That's a steal! Buy it!" It's all perspective and something I'll have to work on. We traveled town to town, loving some of them and putting others in our rear view as fast as possible. Centreville? Loved it, but pricey. Ridgely? NOPE. Rock Hall? Charming, loved the Harbor Woods neighborhood, but they have one mom & pop grocery store and I didn't even see a clinic anywhere. It's 30 minutes to Chestertown, some of it through a wildlife refuge where my brain was screaming "SNAKES!". Adorable, but no. I think it will be Chestertown or Easton for us. Exploring the Eastern Shore was a fabulous history lesson and I'm eager to learn more. Back in the day they were big on their monarchs. There's Queen Anne, Princess Anne, Queenstown, Caroline County, and so on. In a pretty park in downtown Centreville there's a really lovely statue of Queen Anne. Some 271 years after Queen Anne of England signed the charter that created Queen Anne County on Maryland's Eastern Shore, a statue in her honor was unveiled by her namesake, the current Princess Anne. I'll bet that was a big day in Centreville. The statue shows the queen seated, holding the charter she's just signed and a little spaniel sleeps behind her chair. I thought I'd snapped a couple of pictures, but all I can find is this really bad video.

I was more in love with that tree than with the statue. Just across the street from that park was an Irish pub named O' Shucks. In my mind that was amusing, like saying darn it. More likely it has something to do with shucking oysters.

Beyond all the royalty and colonial settlements of the 1600 and 1700 hundreds, the Eastern Shore also has a rich history of Underground Railroad and abolitionist activity. Cambridge was the birthplace of Harriet Tubman and there's a museum and plenty of historic spots documenting her fearless work. Over in Easton they're proud of native son, Frederick Douglass. His story is fascinating, from slave to statesman. He was self-taught - a brilliant orator and writer, responsible for great social reformation, tireless in his pursuit of equality and fairness. He was a staunch supporter of women's suffrage, saying, "In this denial of the right to participate in government, not merely the degradation of woman and the perpetuation of a great injustice happens, but the maiming and repudiation of one-half of the moral and intellectual power of the government of the world." In other words, by not allowing women a vote our country was wasting half of its intellect. Here in Tennessee you'll find proudly displayed busts of KKK leaders in government buildings. Our parks are home to statues of the confederate generals who fought to keep slavery alive. Don't give me that B.S. about the Civil War being about state's rights. Ask yourself, a state's right to do what? Enslave people! It was economically beneficial for the south to enrich itself on the backs of slaves. Okay, I'm rambling- from property taxes to Civil War issues. None of which you probably care about. The very best part of the trip was, of course, quality time with the grandgirl. And oh, she is grand. We played princesses, we did a craft, we read books and made snacks. We squeezed a whole lot of fun and love into a short visit. She's smart, funny, curious, sweet, and beautiful. That's my 100% unbiased opinion. No matter which town we land in, it's closer to her and we'll get to enjoy all of the milestones that are so important. FaceTime is fine in a pinch, but nothing beats being there. Time for me to hush and get a couple of things done around here. There's laundry to fold and a dishwasher to unload. I'm currently sitting at my desk, gazing out at the gardens (the pumpkin plants were 3/4 dead when we came home and I'm not taking any heroic measures to save them) and loving what September is showing me so far. I love this month, the light hits differently and everything seems to calm down. After the busy, blazing summer months it's a welcome change. We still have some hot weather ahead, but there's a hint of change in the air.

Also, I'd like to add that IT'S JUST 53 DAYS UNTIL HALLOWEEN!!!

I'm getting happier by the day. Join me. Stay safe, stay well, and start stashing away some candy for the kids. XOXO, Nancy