#Rafael Barba is a little confused

[x-bluefire-heart-x]

Mr Fancy Pants

Alright, so here is another Rafael Barba/Gender Neutral story. The reader is undercover, they don't work for SVU but Finn and Liv know them. Amanda arrests them, and Rafael sits in on the interview, where the reader flirts with him.

Feel free to make requests :)

Warnings: Sexual under tones, discussion of violence, but not overly detailed. And I think that is it.

Masterlist

Prompt List

Return of Sunshine

Your hands were finally free of the hand cuffs as a detective lead you into an interrogation room. You rubbed at your wrists, pretending that they were chaffed a little, pouting at the blonde detective when she pushed at your shoulder to force you into a chair across from where a man in a suit was standing behind another chair.

“No need for the rough treatment detective,” you whined, slumping a little into the back of the incredibly uncomfortable chair. “I didn’t consent to that. And aren’t you sex crime cops meant to be all about that?”

“That wasn’t rough, Sunshine,” Amanda said stopping herself from rolling her eyes. The man however, did not contain himself.

“Sunshine?” he looked at Amanda with an eyebrow raised. You studied his profile allowing a sly, flirty grin to pull at your lips.

“Yeah, Sunshine,” you answered drawing his eyes to you. “Cause I’m just all smiles and happiness. And anyone who leaves my bed is smiling like sunshine.” You winked at him, eyes slowly moving up and down his body. “Could give you that experience, cutie.”

“You’ve been brought in on charges of solicitation and you’re soliciting an ADA?” he’s voice was full of disbelief at your actions.

“No, I’m offering you the chance to experience my full attention on you and only you, a fun time between two adults, a hook up if you will, people have them all the time,” you said narrowing your brows, grin changing to a pout again as you puffed out your cheeks a little. “I have no idea why little miss south here arrested me. I didn’t do a thing. Won’t be asking her if she wants to come to bed with me that’s for sure. Not asking before handcuffing me and being all rough.”

“I’m a cop arresting a suspect in relation to a crime, I don’t need to ask your permission,” Amanda stated. “Now, you can pretend all you like, but we know you were seen around other workers. We want to know if you’ve ever seen this girl before.”

Amanda opened the folder that was on the desk as she took a seat. The ADA still standing. Amanda put a photo in-front of you of a girl who looked barely in her twenties, with long red hair and freckles spattered across her cheeks. You looked down at it before looking back at the ADA.

“Don’t I at least get to know your name?” you asked, looking at him from under your lashes biting your lip. “I mean I don’t mind calling you sexy or handsome or stunningly gorgeous man but I also wanna know your name.”

“I’m Assistant District Attorney Rafael Barba,” he ground out, ignoring your weird flirting. “And enough games, Sunshine.”  

“Games? You think I’m playing games?” you asked innocently, blinking at him. “I could show you some games. With consent of course, might not mind getting cuffed if it’s by you.”

“Sunshine! This girl have you seen her?” Amanda interrupted her voice sharp, the anger bubbling underneath. “We have enough to charge you.”

“With what?” you asked, finally turning your gaze to Amanda’s the teasing glint in them gone, replaced by a sharpness she did not expect. “Just cause I was seen around other workers you just assume I’m also a worker? Have you seen me approach a John? Seen me exchange money for sex? Do I have a record? And last I checked you lot weren’t ones to arrest sex workers.”

“This girl was brutally attacked and murdered, don’t you care?” Amanda asked pulling out more photos, this time crime scene photos, slamming them down on the table in-front of you.

“Rollins, enough,” Finn’s voice cut through the silence that had followed. You turned in your seat to look at the new arrival who was already looking at you. “You gonna help or you just wasting our time, Sunshine? Cause we can put you in lock up for 24hrs. Capice?”

You worried your bottom lip as you looked at Finn, glancing back over your shoulder to Amanda and Rafael. Your eyes eventually were drawn to the crime scene photos of the girl, you sighed rolling your neck before looking back at Finn. You raised an eyebrow, nodding towards the other two. He inclined his head.

“Wanderlust,” you muttered standing up, posture changing as you did. The set of your shoulders pulling back and your face losing any trace of teasing as you indicated the door Finn was standing in. “Her office?”

“Yeah, come on you two,” Finn went back through the door with you close behind. Amanda and Rafael shared a look of confusion before storming after you two.

“What is going on?” Rafael demanded looking at Liv only to see her in the middle of a hug with you smiling widely as you greeted her like old friends.

“You two know each other?” Amanda asked.

“All three of us do,” you answered turning around and crossing your arms across your chest. “Met on another undercover job of mine, where our two cases intersected. Ended up helping each. After it happened for the third time we decided to work out a way to let each player know if we could discuss our cases and provide assistance.”

“You’re a cop?” Amanda asked.

“FBI,” you nodded. “Good tactics by the way but you might want to be careful who you bluff with, you had nothing to charge me with, though I am curious as to what made you decide to arrest me.”

“You matched the description we had of someone who was seen in the same area the girl was attacked,” Amanda answered. “And we had quite a few people mention this new worker who had shown up called, Sunshine.”

“Ah, well, fair enough,” you nodded winking at her a little. “Still not enough to actually arrest me. Could get it thrown out myself.”

Your gaze drifted to Rafael who was leaning against the observation window, arms crossed and his face pulled into a frown as he studied you. His eyes seeming to run up the length of your body before he caught your gaze, he quickly looked away turning his attention to Finn his cheeks turning the smallest bit red.

“Hey, Rafael,” you wanted his attention back on you. “Sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Sunshine’s personality is a little…frisky.”

“It’s fine, Agent,” Rafael muttered. “So, do you have anything that can help our case?”

“Maybe,” you nodded. “I haven’t actually seen that girl but I know a few other workers who have mentioned a particularly nasty John lately. It doesn’t seem like our two cases are directly intersecting beyond me being here but I’ll help in anyway I can, so long as it doesn’t jeopardise my case.”

“Can we expect a lawyer showing up for you?” Liv asked.

“Potentially, Sunshine isn’t working for anyone at the moment, my goal is to try and get the attention of a pimp who has ties to an international trafficking ring, so if I have got their attention they could use this to try and get me to feel indebted to them,” you explained. “Last our contacts said they were here, my job is to get close and get picked to tag along to where the head creeps hang out.”

Rafael’s eyes had turned back to you, without his conscious thought prompting them. Your job sounded dangerous, with quite a few unknown variables. And it didn’t look like you had any gear on you that allowed your handlers to track your movements.  

“We’ll keep our ears open for anything that sounds like it could be your guy,” Finn promised. “What can you tell us about this John?”

“From what I’ve been told, he drives a four door Sudan, it’s a blue/grey colour one of those ones that seems to shift a little in the light, no-one’s been able to give a full number plate but one of the girls I talked to said it ended in 4KY,” you said. “The guy apparently gets them into the back, the with seats laid down and it starts off normal but he starts to get rough, holding them down hard enough to leave bruises, slapping them. One of them said he even pulled out a knife on her, which would match the marks left on your victim.”

“He’s let some of them go?” Rafael asked, a little surprised considering the extremely violent nature of the attack on their victim.

“He might not be looking to actually kill people,” you explained. “The girls I talked to said they didn’t struggle, they kept up the act. One of them started to struggle and fight him and apparently that set him off but once she stopped and even said sorry he calmed down. He sounds like a sadist who gets off on other people’s pain and fear but he doesn’t want them to struggle for real, to fight him. Most likely he wants the fantasy of them fighting but for the most part wants them to appear as if they are enjoying what he is doing, playing a part to whatever desire he has.”

“You get a description?” Amanda asked.

“Yeah, guy was tall and bulky, he had brown hair that was wavy apparently, he was a smoker, and one girl said he had little scars all over his arm,” you listed. “I can point you in the direction of some of the girls, but I can’t talk to them about helping you guys and you can’t mention that I told you where to go.”

“Don’t worry we will be discreet, you can trust us,” Liv squeezed your shoulder. “Thank you.”

“Course, now, as much as I would love to catch up with you two and get to know the rest of the squad we need to get the show on the road,” you grinned. “And by that I mean letting Sunshine go, you have nothing to hold me on.” You cheekily tsked at Amanda, throwing her a wink making her giggle a little.

“Alright you, back in that room,” Liv smiled pulling you into a hug, before moving out of the way for Finn to squeeze you.

“Next time we see you, it better be as you so we can chat,” Finn demanded.

“Alright big guy,” you laughed. You walked to Amanda and held out a hand. “Nice to have met you Amanda, hopefully next time it will be when I don’t have to be undercover, Finn and Liv have a way to contact me, they can pass it on.”

“You too,” Amanda smiled taking your hand. “Be careful, sounds like a tricky undercover op.”

“That just makes it fun,” you winked at her again. “But thank you, I promise I’ll be careful little miss south.”

“Agent,” when you turned back to the door Rafael was already standing there with a hand out.

“Counsellor,” you gripped his hand. “Shall we continue?” he stood to the side to you allow you go through, following in after you with Amanda on his heels.

The two of them watched in interest as you easily slide back in the persona of Sunshine, you slumped back in the chair as they took the seats across from you. You passed your eyes over Amanda to settle on Rafael, your teasing flirty smile appearing again.

“Well, cutie, you gonna cuff me or let me go?” you asked, putting in a purr to your tone.

“You’re free to go Sunshine,” Amanda sighed collecting the photos. “I suggest you find other places to hang out.”

“Aw, you worried about me blondie?” you cooed. Amanda ignored you as she stood up and opened the door to the corridor. You stood up, strolling around the door passing by Rafael who had stood up. You paused for a split second, making sure to lock eyes with him. “Well, Mr Fancy Pants, be sure to give me a call. I promise it’ll be worth it, sexy.”

You winked at him as you passed, subtly slipping a piece of paper into the pocket of his pants as you trailed your fingers over his hand. You pouted as you passed Amanda wiggling your fingers at her as you left but before you left her eye sight you blew her a kiss. Rafael slipped his hand into his pocket to pull out the piece of paper. It was a name and a number, with a question. ‘My flirting was over the top but doesn’t mean it wasn’t true. Call me?’.

“You know, it took them a while before giving me or Finn their personal number,” Liv’s voice said from behind him.

“Hmm,” was all Rafael said, pocketing the piece of paper. He had to forcibly prevent himself from smiling as he joined the squad to discuss their next move, his fingers every now and then touching the piece of paper.

[daddydoddsjr]

hi 🥰 please could i request a rafael barba x reader where the reader is in a secret relationship with barba, she’s a detective and it all comes out when she’s testifying in a case - i’m thinking that arsehole Buchanan finds out and brings it up during cross examination in front of everyone? thank you x

Pairings || Rafael Barba x Female!Reader

Contents/Warnings || Typical SVU angst, secret relationship, some fluff, Buchanan being Buchanan

Authors Note || i didn’t proof read this so sorry in advance lol

You and Rafael had been in a relationship for about a year now. You’d kept it a secret from Olivia and the rest of the squad since in the beginning, the two of you were only testing the waters. Now that it was a fully committed relationship, you still hadn’t found the right time or place to announce it to everyone. With you being an SVU detective and Rafael working on so many cases you were involved in, it was difficult for the two of you to figure out how to tell people and image what the reactions would be.

Little did the two of you know, Buchanan had eyes on you every since he suspected the relationship between you and Barba, having seen the two of you at a bar together looking…cosy.

“Detective Y/L/N,” Buchanan greeted as you sat at the stand, watching Rafael as he sat back down after having questioned you about the case. “It’s safe to say that your passionate about this case, am I right?”

“I’m passionate about every case,” You replied simply.

“Sure, sure. But Mr. Barba is part of this case.”

“So?”

“So, this one must mean a little more to you considering your relationship with him.”

“Objection?” Rafaels eyebrows furrowed.

The judge replied, “Sustained. Tread carefully, Mr. Buchanan.”

Your heart sank into your stomach as you realised where this was going, but you still tried to remain professional, “We have a.. professional relationship. Mr. Barba’s involvement has nothing to do with the way that I treat my cases.”

“Really? I have a hard time believing that. How long have you and Mr. Barba been sleeping together?”

The colour drained from your face as your eyes flicked between Barba, who was angrily objecting to Buchanans statement, and Olivia, who was stunned to say the least. The jury looked confused, glancing around to see everyone’s reactions. Before you could say anything, the judge quickly took the reigns, “Mr. Buchanan, Mr. Barba, my chambers, now.”

You stared at your hands that were tightly holding your thighs. You felt Olivia’s gaze on you but you avoided it, shifting uncomfortably in your seat. They were gone 5, maybe 10 minutes before they came out and the judge called for a recess until the following morning.

You quickly got off the stand, speeding into the hallway to catch your breath. This wasn’t supposed to happen like this, you thought to yourself as you leaned against a wall, rubbing your face.

“Y/N…” Rafael’s voice caught your attention and you sighed, taking your hands off of your face and looking at him.

“How the hell did he find out? Can he even bring that up the way he did?”

“He only brought it up to distract everyone from the case and try to remove your testimony. The judge isn’t going for it, though.

“I knew we should have told people sooner, Raf, we should have—“

“Y/N,” He interrupted you, “This isn’t your fault, we wanted to wait and we did. This was just Buchanan throwing a low blow to get his way.”

“God, I hate this.”

“So do I,” Rafael sighed. “It’ll be fine, mi amor. Come on, I can order us dinner,” He began to lead you out of the courthouse before Olivia approached you from behind, “Y/N.”

“I’ll meet you outside,” You told Rafael before you turned to Liv, “Look, I’m sorry…”

“When were you going to tell me? The entire case could have been ruined.”

“We were waiting to make sure we were serious until we told anyone, after that we just didn’t know when the right time was.”

“You should have told me immediately, Y/N,” She exhaled, clearly disappointed. “Barba is smart and I know he wouldn’t let Buchanan get away with something like that, and neither of you would let each other veer off of a case for each other, but this was just too close of a call. You’re lucky.”

“I understand.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” She walked past you to leave. You waited a few minutes before leaving too, meeting Rafael at the bottom of the courthouse steps. “How’d that go?” He asked. “As expected, I guess. I’m sure I’ll get grief about it for a while.”

“Well… how does wine and takeout sound?”

“Sounds like it’ll make me feel a lot better.”

[tinkerbelldetective]

You're still not sure how this works. You're 99% sure Rafael Barba is your soulmate, but the clock hasn't hit zero. You've met him, talked to him, and slid papers under his door for him to almost step on in the mornings or retrieve on late nights. But if the clock is still ticking, then you haven't met them, right? So, why do you feel safer when he's close by?

It's confusing. And you have no time for confusion about anything. Jack has delegated you second chair, one you are happy to accept. The case load is growing, the indictments issued flying from the clerk's office with increasing speed. You're issuing subpoenas left and right, searching records that go back so far you think you may have found the mythical lost pen an intern took from Paul Robinette because they were too chicken to ask him out so they settled for something he touched (or so you heard).

And Barba has hardly looked at you.

Olivia Benson had reassured you it was because the man is fiercely independent, not because he thought little of you. And while it helped, you couldn't help but grow saddened and irritated by the fact every interaction you shared with him was passing papers while he barely spared a glance.

The record in front of you is the biggest find yet. Unshredded and non-digitized remands. You're not sure how long you've been in this dusty old room, but it's worth it. You hop over the file boxes- you'll be back to fix them soon - and rush upstairs, aware you probably look like you've been crawling underneath a bed in a messy room, but this is it. The clincher. And you don't even care if he sees you looking dishelved, because this file is the red bow, the Michael Cutter homerun swing.

There's no dignity as you cross the threshold of his office, his brows raising as he pours his cup of coffee, your hands holding the file with such a tight grip he wonders how you haven't bent the folder.

"Rafael Barba, may I present four different remands and secret indictments. Done under suspicious circumstances and-" you flip through the file, finding the bright pink post it, "the other dismissed without prejudice."

The room slows, his eyes meeting yours with intensity. The clock on your wrist hits zero with an echoed final tock. You take a step closer, fiddling with the random thread on your sweater.

"I hoped it would be you."

He's quiet, placing his cup on the table before he takes the file out of your hands, fingers gently resting on your wrist, wordlessly asking for consent. You nod, watching with bated breath as he pushes the sleeve up just enough to see the fading clock.

"She always said it was the first time they see you not the first time you look," he murmers, thumb caressing your skin.

*

Barba's watching intently when you approach the stand, the evidence you either found or helped lead the way to balanced eaily in your hands despite the amount. The room grows quiet as you lay the receipts, the texts, fax confirmations, and signed agreements in front of the man on the stand.

"You weren't going to say this was a one-time deal, were you?"

*

Barba's hand lands at the small of your back as you descend the steps.

"Rafael," you begin, his first name foreign on your lips, "can I see your wrist?"

"It's zero."

You wrinkle your nose, halting at the bottom step.

"How long?"

"The day you met me."

"And mine just stopped?"

He frowns, removing his hand from your back to face you.

"Your dedication to justice, your determination, those became clear the minute you spent hours doing what someone else could have been doing. I saw you, and I knew." His hand cups your cheek fondly, brown eyes meeting yours, as if asking for permission. He presses his forehead to yours, lips barely grazing your own.

[noellawrites]

Troubled Return - Yandere!Rafael Barba x reader

summary: After returning to New York City, Rafael takes you to family court to prove you incompetent of caring for your two daughters.

warnings: toxic relationship, physical and emotional abuse, manipulation, talk of mental illness

It had been two years, but somehow stepping foot back in New York City made you feel like you'd never left. Two years since you'd taken little Lucia and your newborn daughter, so young you hadn't even named her.

And now here you were, outside Brooklyn Presbyterian after visiting your ailing mother. You huffed, holding back tears as you attempted to hail a cab. Little Isabel strapped to your stomach as Lucia held onto your leg.

Just as a yellow vehicle was pulling over in front of you, you felt Lucia detach from your leg, causing you to swing around. Suddenly, your breath was knocked out of you completely. Rafael Barba was smirking, holding your--his daughter in his arms.

"Back in New York, huh? You took off without a word. Pretty harsh, taking my newborn from me. I'm glad you're back. It's good to see you again, Lucia. And this one here, sweet Isabel. You look just like me," he grinned, stroking her cheek.

"Papí?" Lucia's small voice asked, confusion written all over her face. She was an intelligent kid, and the resemblance was uncanny.

Rafael nodded, grinning as Lucia wrapped her arms around his neck.

"How dare you?" you hissed, tears now falling freely down your cheeks.

Memories flashed through your brain, things you never wanted to think about again. You at eighteen, first meeting Rafael as an intern and allowing yourself to be charmed by him. The positive pregnancy test and subsequent marriage at age twenty. The abuse, the yelling and fighting and manipulation. Your resignation, the anger of your parents. Little Lucia, screaming for her mommy. Rafael's cold and calculating demeanor. The painful, angry sex whenever he wanted. The second test, terror at the thought of subjecting another child to the lawyer's cruelty. Fleeing the hospital with your two daughters and nothing to your name.

"How dare I? How dare you. Snatching my children from right under my nose, running away without a word. You do know I'll be taking you to court for custodial interference, don't you?" he stated, still holding Lucia in his arms.

"We're leaving. C'mon Luce," you began, attempting to pull her away from Rafael.

"Where will you go? If you leave the city, I'll call SVU and they'll have to detain you. You and the girls can stay with me. Lucia's room is still intact and there's a cradle for Izzy," he stated, taking a step back and raising his eyebrows.

"How did you know? About where I was, about Izzy--"

"You're really asking me that? Let's just take the girls home," he said, leading you towards his apartment.

—

You were sitting in your lawyer, Trevor Langan's office to go over your case before you and Rafael would have to appear in family court.

"I was being abused! I was twenty-two with two kids and an abusive husband, what else was I supposed to do?" you cried.

"I understand that, (y/n). There is no easy way to say this, but since you were married and left the state with your kids to relocate, and you don't have any proof of abuse, Rafael can press charges against you for custodial interference. Legally, he has as much of a right to your children as you do.”

"I thought Liv said you could help me!" you yelled in frustration.

"I'll do my best, (y/n). I'll likely be able to get you out of jail time but we'll have to come to a mutual agreement with Mr. Barba for custody."

"He hit me in front of our daughter! H-he pushed me into a wall when I was pregnant. He trapped me and forced me to quit my job. I can't share custody with him!" you exclaimed.

"We'll work on it, okay? I'll talk to Liv and see if there's anything they can do to help. We'll figure this out, I promise," Trevor explained, putting his hand over yours in a comforting gesture.

"Thank you, Mr. Langan. I really appreciate it," you sighed, shaking his hand and leaving his office.

—

"Despite the crimes committed, I do not wish to press charges against my wife. However, I am asking the state to declare her incompetent on account of mental illness and suspend pending termination of her parental rights. I would like her to be released into my care," Rafael stated, taking a deep sigh as he sat down and unbuttoned his blazer.

"What?" You and Trevor both gasped simultaneously, standing up and looking at each other in shock.

Trevor shuffled through his paperwork as you stood, stunned speechless. Rafael wanted to declare you incapable of raising your daughters? Was this some sort of revenge for running away?

“This file contains documentation of my wife’s history with mental health conditions, which impairs her ability to care for herself and our children. There are also photographs and written statements,” Rafael explained, walking over and handing the file to the judge.

“This is a photograph of her leaving the girls, ages one and three, unattended for several hours. Here is an intake report from the hospital at age twenty-one, while she was still living with me, detailing her self-inflicted injuries. There’s more, I’ll let you take a look,” he stated, stepping back and shooting a quick smirk at you.

“Objection! This is absurd, Mrs. Barba took care of herself and her daughters alone for two years after fleeing a physically and emotionally abusive marriage!” Trevor exclaimed, looking straight at the judge.

“I will need time to look over this file. We will reconvene in an hour,” the judge stated.

—

“Why are you doing this?” you pleaded, walking up to your husband. He stood, sharply dressed as usual, with a grin on his face. He was already preparing to win.

“Between your custody interference, neglect and mental illnesses, I have enough proof to terminate parental rights. I want to see you rehabilitated, not charged. You can be a good mother and wife, I know you can. You just need some help,” he explained, concerned eyes baring into yours.

“You’re sick, Rafael Barba. I don’t want you anywhere near my daughters,” you snapped.

“Too bad you can’t prove anything. Looks like keeping records was a good thing, huh? A perk of having you on my insurance, and being your husband of course. You’ll never be able to get away from me,” he stated, mouth close to your ear. His voice sent familiar shivers down your spine.

Even after Rafael walked away, you could smell his expensive cologne lingering. You should never have tried to outsmart the lawyer. Your fate was sealed, whether you liked it or not.

[the-wandering-wonder]

Watch Party

It's hockey season, so of course I've been watching my team as much as possible (go, Avs!). And since I think Sonny would be a fun friend to watch hockey with, this little oneshot was born. But because Barba is...well, Barba, I gotta involve him. Enjoy!

Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader

Word Count: 961

Rating: T (swearing)

Chapter: 1/1

Summary: You invite Barba to join you and Carisi for a hockey game watch party. That just so happens to be at your place. And has absolutely nothing to do with your slight crush on the A.D.A.

“See ya tonight?” You give Carisi a playful nudge.

“Wouldn't miss it,” he replies with a grin, “need me to bring anything?”

“Nope, I got drinks and the pizzas are pre-ordered.”

You notice Barba's green eyes filled with confusion and curiosity as you turn to face him fully.

“Rangers are in the playoffs tonight,” you begin. 

“That's a hockey team,” Carisi chides and you hold back a chuckle as Barba rolls his eyes.

“I do know that much, detective.”

“Sonny's TV is on the blink, so we're doing the watch party at my place. You should come.” You pause and do your best to put a serious look on your face. “Strict dress code though. Jerseys only.”

“I got an extra jersey for ya, counselor,” Carisi offers with a lopsided smirk, giving the A.D.A. a smack on the back. 

You see Barba's jaw tense ever so slightly and you place a hand on his arm, feeling a slight pang of guilt at the frown that flickers across Barba's face. You'd never known him to take an interest in sports before, but you feel the urge to include him regardless. Not that you'd ever admit it, but the thought of him coming over to your apartment gives you a slight case of butterflies.

“I'd love it if you came by,” you say softly, ignoring the cheeky smirk still on Carisi’s face. “I have pizza, beer, and whiskey.”

“Well, if there's whiskey…” Barba pretends to think for a moment before shrugging. “I'm in.”

~~~~~~~~

“Aw, what the hell was that?” Carisi gestures wildly at the television as you spew profanities of your own.

You find yourself nestled between Barba, whose arm is lazily draped along the back of the couch, and Carisi, who alternates between leaning forward and leaning back against you. Plates are scattered on your coffee table, remnants of thin-crust pizza here and there. 

You knock back the last of your beer, getting to your feet as intermission begins. “More beer, Sonny?”

Carisi nods and raises his empty bottle in a mock salute. You glance at Barba, who leans forward and swirls his half-full glass of whiskey, looking out of place in a hockey jersey in lieu of his suit jacket. You chuckle quietly as you hear Carisi begin to ramble, throwing out stats and numbers that clearly mean nothing to Barba. You can't help but smile at the fact that he'd come over, letting yourself believe that he'd come just for you. After all, a little daydreaming never hurt anyone…right?

“Oh, now that's just bullshit,” you interrupt Carisi as he tries to convince Barba that his favourite player is superior.

You grab two beers and move back to the couch, Barba sitting back again as you and Carisi go back and forth, spouting names and phrases that the A.D.A. barely recognizes. Unbeknownst to you, Barba keeps his gaze focused on you, eyes twinkling with something akin to admiration. Once the 3rd period resumes, the argument between you and Carisi stills and you lean back again, nudging Barba with your hip and shooting him a smile, one he returns without a second thought.

You watch the clock ticking down as the 3rd period comes to an end, the score still tied. Your eyes follow the action as the puck is batted around, a sea of blue jerseys around the opposing net as the clock starts the final 10 second countdown. You feel your breathing stop for a split second as the puck slides past the scrambling goalie before the sound of the goal horn blares through the television. You and Carisi let out a yell as you both leap to your feet, his arms wrapping around you to swing you around.

When your feet hit the floor, you turn to see Barba getting to his feet, caught up in the celebration. You could swear you feel Carisi nudge you towards the A.D.A. and you leap into Barba, throwing your arms around his neck as his hands instinctively find your waist. A grin spreads across your face and you find yourself looking into his flashing green eyes, the spark you find there sending a tingle through your spine. Hearing the buzzer sound the end of the period, as well as the game, you're flooded with excitement again and you lean forward, your lips pressing against Barba's before you can catch yourself. His lips are soft, tasting slightly of whiskey as they mold to yours, warmth coursing through your body. A whoop from Carisi shocks you both back to reality and you pull apart, gazes meeting as your heart races.

“I think I'm beginning to like hockey,” Barba murmurs, low enough that only you can hear and you feel a blush creeping up your neck.

You try to mumble a response but Carisi whoops again and you pull away from Barba, suddenly self-conscious at your close proximity to the A.D.A. You turn and grin at your partner before being pulled into another bear hug, letting out a cheer to rival Carisi’s.

“What a game, eh, counselor?” Carisi grins at Barba, who merely smirks and nods in response.

Moments later, the three of you settle back onto the couch, you and Carisi watching intently as the post-game interviews begin, red faced players grinning into the camera as they announce their plans for the next round. After a minute, you glance over at Barba and find his gaze trained on you, a soft smile tugging at the curve of his lips. Warmth starts to spread through your body again as you focus back on the television, chewing on your bottom lip as you feel Barba’s eyes still on you.

What a fucking night this turned out to be…

[tropes-and-tales-archives]

More Precious Than Rubies: Part 7b

This is an alternate timeline story that has a Rafael Barba track and a Sonny Carisi track. The two paths split off in part 3.

WC: 4104

TW: Angst; fluff; family drama; smut (fingering; food-play, kinda). 18+ only.

AN: The prompt was "I love you for you.  Don’t you dare think otherwise."

Over the next few weeks, Sonny came to realize that you had changed since you’d been together before.  He still thought his original assessment was mostly correct, though – much of your change in character was nothing more than extreme fatigue.

After the night of your panic attack and opening up about your father, for example:  Sonny had nodded off almost immediately after sex, but when he woke in the middle of the night, you weren’t in bed beside him.  When he went looking for you, he found you hunched over at your kitchen table, reading through case files.

When he coaxed you back to bed, he felt you toss and turn beside him until you finally fell asleep.

And you woke up shortly after with a start and a gasp, like you’d been asleep only long enough to have a bad dream.

Sonny tried to help you as much as he could, relieve some of the pressure.  It was a delicate balance to walk though.  If he did too much, you felt guilty to be burdening him.  If he did too little, as he had in the past, he knew you’d feel neglected.

The two of you struck a balance together.  Your schedules meshed only half of the time, so you spent more time apart than Sonny would have liked.  If he had it his way, he’d move you into his place and always have you with him.  Instead, you took turns staying over at each other’s place (Sonny, in reality, only lived about five blocks from you).  You each had your nights alone too, even though Sonny hated falling asleep without you.  You tried to have a lunch or a coffee date during the week so that you could get caught up in a more leisurely way.

It was different than before.  You were letting him see more of your life, more of your feelings than you ever had before.  Of course, it was just as likely that you were too exhausted to bother putting on a brave face.  Sonny felt…more protective of you. 

He still saw glimpses of the old you, though.  When he was going through his own tough time, nothing but mandatory double-shifts to help catch a serial predator, the old you turned up and took charge.  You brought him lunch and dinner to the precinct.  You picked up his dry-cleaning and even drove back to Manhattan late one night to pick him up when he was too tired to drive himself home.

When SVU finally caught the guy, he sent you a triumphant text.  Your first reply congratulated him.  Your second expressed a deep desire that said serial predator could afford his own counsel.

And your third text told him that you should celebrate, and that he should come over to your place the next evening.

-----

When he got to your apartment, he could smell the problem before he even got through your front door.  You answered his knock with a hang-dog look, a t-shirt splattered with something, and a smog of odor behind you.  Sonny sniffed carefully.  Burnt garlic.  Something fishy.

“Hey,” he said in his most neutral voice as he pressed a kiss to your furrowed forehead.  “How are you?”

You answered with an exasperated sigh, and he followed you into your kitchen to survey the damage.  There was a pan on the stove, still smoking gently against the exhaust fan.  He held back the smile that threatened to cross his face – it looked like you had tried to make shrimp scampi, judging from the shrimp (still raw-looking in the pan) and the garlic (scorched black).  He glanced over and saw a strainer of cooked linguine, boiled to a paste-like consistency. 

Then he glanced over at your face, and you looked so confused and distraught that he finally did laugh.

“I don’t know what went wrong,” you told him.  “I followed the recipe exactly.”

“Which recipe?”

You unlocked your phone and handed it to him.  He scanned the recipe.

“It was listed as ‘easy’ on the website, and there was only three steps to the entire recipe…” you said.

Sonny glanced back at the pan on the stove, and then he picked up a spoon and poked at its contents.  “Did you buy fresh shrimp?”  You nodded, and Sonny peered at the evidence closer.  “Did you peel and devein them?”

“I took their shells off, yes,” you said, a little defensively. 

“You know they sell these already peeled and deveined, right?  You didn’t devein these…see?  This black line here needs to be removed.”

You leaned over to look at where he was pointing, and Sonny tried to ignore how it felt to have you standing so close to him, your breasts pressing against his arm as you listened to him break down the scene of the crime.  You scoffed when he pointed out the scorched garlic (too high heat), but then you gagged when he explained what deveining shrimp really entailed.

“That black line isn’t a vein,” he said, and you pulled a disgusted face and said you were never eating shrimp again.

“Points for effort, though,” he finished with a smile.  “Let’s order in.”

“I really thought I could pull this one off.”  You pouted and surveyed your kitchen disaster again.  “I’m sorry, Sonny.  I wanted to celebrate your big case.”

“It’s the thought that counts,” he replied with a smile, but you only continued pouting, your eyebrows knit together in consternation.

He couldn’t resist your lower lip stuck out, so he leaned down and kissed you, slow and lingering.  When he broke away, you were grinning up at him a little sleepily.

“You have one good meal under your belt though,” he said.  “You did amazing with our anniversary dinner, remember?  You did that baked rigatoni…”

Your smile faded and you slid your eyes away from him.  You tried to wriggle out of his grasp, but he tightened his arm around your waist and held you against him.  He mentally kicked himself for bringing up that sad memory, but then you muttered the truth.

“I didn’t cook that, Sonny.  I, uh…tried to.  But it turned out terribly.”  You glanced up and made eye contact with him, and you winced. 

“But it was really good!”

You winced again.  “Sonny, it was good because you thought I made it.  It was from a chain Italian restaurant in Times Square.  I couldn’t order something from an authentic place.  You would have never bought that I could suddenly make my own ravioli or squid-ink linguine.  So I got the baked rigatoni and dumped it in a casserole dish…” You trailed off, obviously ashamed.

Sonny laughed in disbelief.  “The betrayal!  And on our anniversary!”

“I wanted to impress you!” you exclaimed.  “I was going to eventually tell you, but that evening didn’t go as planned anyway, and we broke up not too long after that.”

His smile fell a little at that memory.  He also thought back to your time together before; you’d met his family once for a Sunday dinner, and his sisters Gina and Theresa had relentlessly teased you about the family recipes, and how one only earned them when they married into the family.  You had laughed along with them, but Sonny hadn’t missed the subtle panic that washed over your face.

The Carisi family was centered around food – it was their love language and their national identity.  Of course you would lie during your anniversary dinner.  You probably wanted to prove yourself to him, and you had obviously panicked when you had failed.

He felt a wave a shame for teasing your appalling cooking abilities, so he pressed another gentle kiss to you.

“Let’s order in,” he repeated softly.  “And tomorrow night, we’ll cook together.  We’ll start easy and go from there.”

*****

It was Saturday.  Sonny got called into work in the morning, but early in the evening, he turned up at your apartment again, laden down with grocery bags and his now-familiar overnight bag.  The two of you stayed over at each other’s places, but you hadn’t broached the topic of leaving essentials at the other’s place quite yet.

You let him in, enjoying the sight of him, even a bit rumpled from a day at work.  He was wearing a three-piece suit.  You thought you’d send ADA Barba a thank you note, since the man had obviously influenced Sonny’s wardrobe for the better.  You watched Sonny shed his coat and vest and tie, and you watched him roll up his sleeves.  You thought maybe you could skip the culinary lesson and just drag him into your bedroom.

Instead, you bit back your nascent desire for him and followed him into the kitchen.

You wanted to learn how to cook.  No one in your family did – you were essentially raised by a single mother, with three older siblings.  Your mom worked three part-time jobs, and any odd job she could find in between, so meals were relegated to grazing on whatever you could find:  frozen pizzas and Hamburger Helper during flush periods, peanut butter sandwiches during lean times.  You couldn’t remember a single meal where everyone sat together and ate, unless you counted holiday meals at your aunt’s house.  Those usually descended into family squabbles, and the turkey was always bone dry anyway.

Sonny’s family was different.  They ate every meal together when he was growing up, thrown together by a stay-at-home mother who poured her love into every homemade sauce and pasta and dessert.  You were never more uncomfortably aware of your differences in upbringings as you had been during that Carisi meal.  And while you didn’t prescribe to traditional gender roles, you also wanted to be able to pull your weight if things with Sonny progressed.

You watched as he laid out the groceries, and then you watched as he rifled through your cabinets until he found all the pots and pans he wanted.  Then he turned to you.

He looked you over, and it seemed that he had the same thought you originally had when he first came into your apartment.  You were in a simple cotton dress, barefoot, hair pulled back into a low ponytail.  Nothing special, but the look in his blue eyes was practically predatory.  But he pushed it aside, apparently, because he reached into one of the bags and handed you a piece of folded cloth.

You shook it out and then laughed – it was a ridiculously girly apron, frilled and ruffled.  There were two deep pockets on it, though, so you could see the utility beyond the style.

“You wear as much food as you attempt to cook,” he said simply, and you rolled your eyes but put it on.  You tied the back and then gave a little spin on your bare toes, savoring the look that crossed his face when you did.

“I think you just have a 1950’s housewife kink,” you teased.

“Maybe,” he teased back, and he wrapped an arm around your waist to pull you against him.  “Maybe I expect to be greeted at the door every evening with a drink and a smoke and dinner on the table.”

“Hmm.”  You stood on your tip-toes to kiss him lightly, and you pulled away when he tried to deepen the kiss.  “I hope you enjoy Spam loaf and Jello salads then.”

Sonny grinned down at you.  “You think you could actually manage a Spam loaf?”

You pretended to be offended.  “You think you could manage sleeping alone in a twin bed?”

“Never.”  He kissed you again, then spun you around so that you were facing the kitchen counter, all business.  “Tonight, we’re making a simple salad and Bucatini Cacio e Pepe.”  You grinned at his Staten Island-accented Italian. 

He supervised while you started the salad, watching you rinse the lettuce and then start to cut the tomatoes.  You kept trying to talk to him – about his day, about your upcoming cases – but he kept making frustrated growls at you.

“I think I see your problem,” he finally huffed.  “You aren’t giving the meal your full attention.”

“I’m just talking to you.”

“Yeah, but when you’re talking, you’re going off-task.”  He pointed at the last few tomatoes you had cut up.  “See?  You didn’t cut the stem out of these.  And you keep turning to face me while you’re cutting….you’re gonna hurt yourself.”

He put his hands back on your hips and turned you back to face the counter.  “Pay attention to what you’re doing,” he said sternly.  Stern-Sonny was a rare occurrence, and you felt your desire reemerge.

“Can’t go off-task,” you said to the tomatoes, and you assumed a thick Staten Island accent.  “Gotta cut you up just right.”

You felt rather than heard Sonny’s exhalation - of frustration?  Or laughter? Maybe both.  It was hot against your neck, and you felt him put his mouth close to your ear. 

“You think you’re funny?”  He put his hands back on your hips, and he pressed the length of his body against you until you were trapped between him and the counter.

“Can’t talk right now,” you said, your voice steady.  “Gotta cut these tomatoes.  Can’t bring shame upon my Sicilian ancestors.”

Another huff, this time of laughter.  “My family’s from Lombardy and Calabria,” and the way he growled it made your desire for him grow even more.

“Lombardy?” you teased, already knowing how he was going to react.  “So you’re practically Austrian then.  Shouldn’t we be making a schnitzel?”

You had thought he’d spin you around to face him – Sonny hated when you reminded him that shifting country lines and wars meant that “Italy” was something of a nebulous concept, as were most European countries.  He didn’t though:  instead, he pressed himself more firmly against you, enough that you could feel his growing desire for you.

“Pay attention to what you’re doing,” he growled in your ear.  You bit your lip as he rolled his hips against you, but you finished chopping the tomatoes, sans stems.

“That’s good,” he continued.  “Now peel and slice the cucumber.”

You kept your hands steady as you started to peel the cucumber, but Sonny shifted one hand from your hip and snaked it around your front.  His fingertips found the hems of your skirt and apron and slipped underneath.  When his hand drifted up your thigh and found its target, you paused in your task and let out a shuddering breath.

“Keep working,” he husked in your ear.

“You’re not playing fair,” you whined back.

Another huff of laughter.  “I’m teaching you to focus,” he said, and he stroked a finger lightly over the junction between your legs.  “It’s like how runners train at high altitudes so that they can run faster at sea level.”

“Really, Sonny…”

“And you’re so wet, doll, so your mind was somewhere else than on the cutting board in front of you.”  Then he pressed his mouth against the back of your neck and mumbled a string of Italian, probably something filthy, but punishment for insinuating that he wasn’t one hundred percent Italian stock. 

He kept giving your instructions – cut the cucumber, boil and salt the water – and you followed them, stubbornly trying to ignore what his hand was doing to you.  Two could play that game.

While the water boiled, Sonny upped the ante and slipped his finger under the hem of your panties, stroking you more firmly.  You wanted to give in, but he informed you that the pasta needed to go into the water, so you clenched your jaw and dumped the noodles.

“Those need about four minutes,” Sonny told you with another firm roll of his hips.  “Anything we can do to kill four minutes?”

He wasn’t playing fair at all, so you sassed him.  “We could have sex.  Four minutes – that’d leave an easy three minutes for cuddling afterwards.”

Sonny made an injured sound behind you, and the next thing you knew, he was scooping you up in his arms and carrying you to the bedroom, and when the pasta ended up mushy and overcooked from boiling for over ten minutes, it wasn’t entirely your fault.

*****

As much as Sonny wanted to take you on a hundred perfect dates, there was something perfect about the evening:  cooking together, sex, eating the meal together, more sex.  And after the second round of sex, you were relaxed and more apt to talk about deeper issues.  It allowed Sonny to get past that hard outer shell of yours.

Right now, you were both in your bed, naked and cozy under your faded quilt.  Your head was resting on his bare chest, and you poked him in his side from time to time.  It made him laugh, and hearing his laughter rumbling under your ear made you laugh too.

Sonny always started the conversation with shop-talk, to ease you into the waters.  You were on a run with Major Case and Homicide defendants, so your tell-tale heels hadn’t been clicking in the bullpen of SVU lately.

“We miss you,” Sonny joked.  “Amanda and I have a runny tally on how Barba reacts when he sees you’re the defendant’s counsel.”

You perked up a bit and turned to look at him.  “Oh yeah?  How does he react?”

“He’s got four basic things he does.”  Sonny shifted his arm and counted off on his fingers for you.  “He clenches his jaw hard enough that you can hear it pop.  He huffs and snorts through his nose so that he sounds like a bull.  He rubs the back of his neck really angrily.  And he says ‘great’ in this sarcastic tone he has.”

You chuckled.  “Which one does he do more?”

“Oh, he clenches his jaw more than anything.  We have a pool on him needing a crown eventually for when he shatters a tooth.”

You smiled at him.  “He the worst A.D.A. I have to work with, you know.  He’s very frustrating, especially compared to Niles or other ones.”

“He’s the worst?”

“The worst, by which I mean the best.  Every case I face off against Barba, I put in twice the work.  He doesn’t half-ass it like some prosecutors do.  He doesn’t pull cheap tricks, like leaning into race or gender or socioeconomic status.”

Sonny grinned at this.  “I’m gonna tell him you said that.”

“Don’t you dare!”  You poked him in the side, hard, making him laugh.  “He’s my arch-nemesis!”

“Oh, your arch-nemesis,” Sonny wheezed as he tried to wriggle away from your ticklish fingers.  “I’m gonna tell him that too.”

The two of you tussled, and Sonny let you win for a while, but he couldn’t resist flipping you on your back and holding your wrists down lightly as you vowed to show him no mercy once you got free.  Sonny leaned down and kissed you – all over your face – until you laughed and promised him maybe a little mercy after all.

He released your hands and switched your earlier position:  you were on your back, and he laid his head on your upper chest.  He could hear your heart beating, slow and steady under his ear.

“It was a good evening,” you murmured, and he felt you reach out to finger-comb his hair.  You tugged now and then against the remnants of his hair gel, and you scratched his scalp lightly when he winced at the tugging.

“It was,” he agreed. 

“I’m sorry about messing up your celebration dinner last night though.”

“No worries.  I liked cooking with you.”  When you didn’t reply, he let the silence grow for a moment before continuing.

“Why does it matter so much to you, cooking for me?”

He heard you sigh above him, but he felt, under his cheek, your heart start to beat a little faster. 

“I just want to show you that I can pull my weight,” you muttered.  “You grew up in a house where every meal was homemade…”  You trailed off, but your heart was thudding faster now.

Sonny may have missed a lot when you first dated, but he was more observant now.  And you’d let him in more about your own past, and he realized that you compared your family and childhood to his own.  Maybe it fed into your insecurities before; maybe you were still insecure about it.  Maybe you were insecure about a future with him.

“Doll, are you comparing yourself to my mother?” he blurted out, and the questions fell out of him much like they did when he put a case together, so fast that you didn’t have a chance to answer them.  “Are you trying to prove you can cook like her?”

Then, the question at the heart of the matter:  “Are you worried that…there wouldn’t be a, uh, future between us…if you can’t cook?”  A ridiculous question when said out loud, but it was the right one to ask.

“Maybe,” was all you replied.

“Seriously?”  He shifted so that he was gazing down at you, and your face was tense in the way he knew meant you were worried.

“I mean…it’s not just the cooking, Sonny.  You grew up in this idyllic, perfect life, and my childhood was so far from that.  I didn’t even know that breakfast was a real meal when I was a kid.  It was off-brand Pop-tarts on the go and eaten on the bus.  I never sat down to a breakfast until college.  Then I met you, and your mom cooked breakfast for you every morning.  Waffles and omelets.  Pancakes with chocolate chip faces in them.”

“Okay…”

You took a deep breath and looked back at him.  “It’s just that you had this amazing model of what a family looks like, and I can’t replicate that.”  You shrugged and added, “so why would this ever go anywhere between us?”

Sonny took his own deep breath.  It hurt his heart to hear that you didn’t think he’d marry you because of something as trivial as the ability to cook…but he knew it was deeper than that.  You’d been to exactly one Carisi family dinner.  You saw his childhood home, perfectly cleaned because company was coming over.  You saw his mother’s best recipes laid out.  You saw his family on their best behaviors for the benefits of Sonny’s new girlfriend.

He told you now all the things you didn’t see:  the messy home, the nights his mother ordered pizza for dinner.  The squabbles – the little fights over past grievances.  The larger fights – like how his mother felt unappreciated by his father, how his father felt harried.  The weird little cliques that sprang up:  him and Bella against Gina and Theresa.  Him defending Bella’s engagement to Tommy to everyone.  Everyone getting on his case about joining the police force.

“We aren’t perfect,” he concluded.  “Far from it.  And my childhood wasn’t as wonderful as you think it was.”

The expression on your face was pure skepticism, so he leaned down and kissed you.  He could tell you:  about the spreadsheet on his laptop calculating the savings plan he had already laid out to buy you the perfect ring, how he already had the ring picked out, how he had an entire folder of ideas for how to propose.  How he agonized about how long he should wait (inconclusive, after talking to both Bella and Amanda) versus how long he wanted to wait (not at all).

He didn’t tell you.  Instead, he kissed you and hoped you felt how much he loved you, and how utterly certain he was that he wanted to marry you.  Cooking was such a non-issue in his world.  His parents’ marriage, now that he was a grown man himself, felt uncomfortably lopsided, and he didn’t want that with you.  He wanted a real partnership.

Sonny broke the kiss, and the doubting look on your face was gone.  He reached up to cup your face in his hand, and you leaned into the touch.  He locked eyes with you, and he said, “I love you for you.  Don’t you dare think otherwise.”

“But – “

“No,” he chided you gently.  “This isn’t an argument.  We aren’t lawyers right now.  No ‘but.’  I love you exactly as you are.”

You snorted at this.  “Even when I reach well into adulthood without knowing how to devein a shrimp and, more to the point, that deveining isn’t really removing veins?”

“Even then,” he agreed, and he surged forward to kiss you again, because you were already opening your mouth to argue with him, though he caught your smile right before he did.

[poetoflawed]

Family Man

Part 1 Word count: 947 Ok so this post is based on this previous idea I had Pls do not plagiarize Beware of Google Translate lol

3rd POV Rafeal and Y/n make their way through the airport. Y/n turns to Rafeal, “Do you really have to go?” She knows the answer. They’ve talked about this extensively. “Mi amor que estás haciendo ahora? You know I have to. This is for both of us.” He holds her face in his hands, “I have to become someone, someone worthy of you. Someone who makes a difference. Por favor entiende mi amor.” She pulls her face away, “But por qué? I know this is what you want, what you need. But why can’t you stay. Stay here with me. I’m sorry, I know i’m being selfish, but i love you.” “Don’t worry. We got this. te amo completamente.” He looks in her eyes reassuringly, picks up his duffle and moves towards the gate.

13 years later … Rafeal is a lawyer. The esteemed A.D.A Rafael Barba. The A.D.A who works with NYPD’s SVU unit. He lives a somewhat glamorous life of suits and ties. He is a man known to be notorious for being so busy his personal life is almost non existent. He is a bachelor, living a high stress busy life. One so full, relationships past the occasional hook up, are not likely. A recent case having pulled him resulted in him ordering an emergency meeting on Christmas Day, with the NYPD detectives. As the holidays progress, while going over case notes, he gets a message to contact Y/n, but, even though he remembers her, he ignores it and does not return her call.

Rafael’s POV

This case is gonna be the death of me. Hijo de puta, I’m late. My mind is full and racing. This case needs to go well, this woman, this victim. This never should have happened, and I need to help. I barely notice when I make it to the little convenience store near my building. Needing to pick up some milk I make my way inside, as I'm looking through the aisles I hear a commotion at the cash.

“I'm not gonna cash it man. It's fake!” “NO it Ain’t! Cash the fuckin ticked asshole!” “NO” “Oh yeah?” the man pulls out a handgun and my eyes widen a little “Wait!” The fuck are you doing i think to myself as the man turns to me gun at his side, “How much is the ticket worth-” I notice his face getting more irritated, “I-I’lll buy it off you.” I show the three hundred dollar bills in my hand, “Seriously, take it and cut your losses man. This isn't worth a record.” He stashes his gun back in his coat, grabs the bills from my hand, and throws the ticket on the counter as he turns out of the store. I stood there for a minute and let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding. I make my way outside catching up to the man from before, “Here,” I hand him a prepackaged sandwich, “I have a feeling you might want this. Do you have anywhere to go?” “I'm fine man. Leave me alone.” “Are you sure?” I might be a cynic but I still wanna help people. “Lemme ask you something man,what's missing from your life! Think about that!” “I have everything I need already.” I say, baffled. The man looks at me, annoyed and just turns on his heel and starts stalking away down the street. Baffled, I return to my penthouse and sleep.

The golden rays of sunshine hit my eyes suddenly, and then i realize its Christmas day again. I realize there's breathing coming from next to me. I roll over and am met with the (still) beautiful sleeping face of Y/n. My eyes widen and I sit up, as i'm sitting in bed confused, with my breath picking up, I see a child, a young girl, staring at me from the door to the room.

“Papi, can you make me some food please?”

I sit there baffled, Y/n slowly wakes up, “Mmmhmmm what's up baby?” she's asking, slowly waking up. As she slowly sits up in bed my confusion intensifies as I look at her, the girl I left my first year at Harvard, sitting in a bed I've never seen, pregnant. With what appears to be the second child. I look from the woman to the girl, throwing myself from the bed, “Raf?” “Papi?” As I sprint downstairs, I search for some keys as my head swims.

What the actual fuck is happening right now????

As I run outside I realize i'm not in New york anymore but rather suburban New Jersey. As I drive frantically back to the precinct I make my way inside, desperate and only in my pajamas and winter coat, I walk up to the front desk. “Jenny, I need benson.” i’m panting and confusion flashes in my eye when she frowns at me, “And who are you sir?” “Jenny… what… you know me…” my brows crease. “Sir how do you know my name?” she asks nervously. My confusion turns to anger now, “Jenny i was at your baby shower a year ago, your sons name is Grant, he went through a phase where he only ate cheese. Please, PLEASE. You know me!” Her eyes are wide now, fear evident. Slowly she reaches for the phone on her desk “Ok sir,” She nods over to a uniform and nudges my way “this is officer Kapal, he’ll show you to a room where you can wait for the detective.” “Thank you, finally” i let out a breath of air, and follow the officer to one of the rooms.

[lilulo-12fanfiction]

Burn The Shadow- 2

Here is Chapter 2- This is a long one. I really wanted to establish Gia's past. Let me know if you're enjoying it!

Rafael watched Gia from afar for a moment. She hadn't seen him yet; he hoped his presence would be welcomed. He didn't think she should be alone for this. Though he wasn't quite sure why she was going to an execution. He thought perhaps she was coming to see a case to its end.

His peace offering had smoothed the choppy waters. They were friends now, but they hadn't reached the sharing of deep dark secrets. He didn't take it personally; even if he did, he hadn't exactly been an open book either. It had hit him a few weeks after they had buried the hatchet- it was the first time in a long time he had met someone that he wouldn't mind flipping through his pages.

After the Micha Green case, she had admitted that she didn't date in High School because she was so young. Her peers didn't understand her. Her first boyfriend had been in college and it was disastrous. It was the first real bit of information about her past she had offered up. He thought he was really getting somewhere, but Lewis taking Olivia had shaken her and she was back ro surface level information when he was dying for more.

They had gotten into the habit of meeting at Forlini's to talk about cases. He loved the way her mind worked. She helped him look at things differently. Her laughter when she said "I never thought I would utter the words 'use the gonorrhea', but here we are. Though I really thought you would be able to use it." She had also vehemently defended him when Amaro had given him a hard time over Alex Muños. Gia didn't like how he went after Barba, she felt strongly that he didn't deserve it.  After the trial, she had stopped into his office with Coffee. She had set it in front of him with a smile.

"It's decaf, I figured you didn't need any more caffeine. Also, it's Irish." She pointed at the cup of coffee and  as she turned to leave, he had asked her to stay. She nodded and sat down at his desk with her own cup of coffee. He was sure it was also a little Irish's

"Thank you for defending me."

"Rafaél-" It was the first time she had uttered his first name. She said it with the Spanish pronunciation and it stirred something in him that he quickly quelled. "I knew you would do the right thing. You just needed a little more time to see it. He was one of your closest friends. It's hard sometimes to see people for what they are when they are right in front of you."

Amaro had called him. Gia had been giving him the cold shoulder since that case. His aggressiveness really bothered her. Amaro was upset she was pushing him away. He was the only one Gia told about her unlikely friendship with the A.D.A. Amaro had seen the execution notice on Gia's desk. When Amaro had asked about it, she shut him down. He didn't know who she knew that was being executed, but, he knew she would need support. He had wanted to take her and she refused. So he called Barba and asked him to go.

Her stony expression crumpled into confusion when she saw him. "How did...why...how are you here?"

"Amaro called. He didn't think you should be alone."

"I-I can't" as she stuttered, some of the chips of her armor were falling away.

"Gianna." His use of her full name got her attention. "You don't have to tell me anything. I'm just here for you." She nodded. He could almost see her insides twisting. He thought she was going to turn around and leave. She had taken a few more steps toward him and then turned and looked back from where she came until he reached out and took her hand. "I mean it. I won't ask a single question. I'm just here for you."

"Okay." She whispered and he led her into the building. They walked silently once they were allowed in. He felt his hand pull when she stopped right outside of the door. "Are you sure you want to do this?" She gave him a slight nod.

"I have to." She had steeled herself. The armor was back in place. They walked into the room and she headed to the front row. Sitting there waiting was giving Barba anxiety. He didn't know how she knew this person. He hadn't had the opportunity to look up who he was. Amaro had called him with just enough time for him to get in his car and drive. He had arrived just moments before her. His head whipped to look in her direction when the name was read, "Gabriel Pierce", but she gave him nothing. Her face was stone. As he was brought in, Barba knew there were only two options, cousin or brother. He was too young to be anything else. His final statement was only 3 words. "I'm sorry, Gigi." There was a slight twitch at the corner of her mouth, but so slight the only reason why Barba saw it was because he was sitting so close to her. It was the slowest and fastest thing he had ever witnessed. When it was done, she rose to her feet and placed her palm on the glass. The rest of the witnesses quickly left.

"Take as long as you need, Detective Pierce." They knew her here. She must have come to visit, at least,  often enough. When she heard the door click, he rose quickly when he noticed her hands trembling. "I'm sorry too, Gabe. You deserved so much better." His name was uttered with a sob. If Barba hadn't stood when he did, he never would have caught her when her knees gave out. He held her tightly to his body while holding the back of her head. As her sobs shook the both of them, they cut sharply through his insides.

Gia had used a car service to get there. Barba was happy she wasn't going to be driving home. They sat in his car in silence. Barba didn't know what to say. When her sobs had finally stopped, he put his arm around her and led her out of the building.

He glanced over at her a few times and she was fixed on looking out the window. He wanted to find words to make her feel better. The urge to ask questions was eating at him, but he had promised he wouldn't. He wouldn't break that promise. He had never been so agonized by silence. He turned down her street and parked in an empty spot.

"Why did you park?"

"I'm not leaving you alone."

"I'll be fine."

"I know, but I'm staying for a while."

They walked together in silence into the apartment building. The doorman had treated Gia warmly, Rafael could see the concern flash on his face when he saw her demeanor. It made Rafael feel a little relieved that she was in a secure building with people that knew her well enough to register concern if she didn't seem okay. There was a risk in both of their professions. It was a nice building, he was impressed. She lived right near Central Park.

He followed her silently down the hall when they got off of the elevator. It registered to him that Gia allowing him into her home was big for her. Her door was red. In fact, it was the only door that was red. It looked older than the doors on the other units.

The apartment was a large open space. When they walked in, they were in the living room. To the left of the door was a dining room area and behind the living room portion was a kitchen with an island in the middle lined with 4 high back stools. Cabinets were to the left of the island and formed and L shape that lead to oven, a sink with a dish washer below and a double door stainless steel refrigerator. To the far right of the kitchen were sliding glass doors that led to a balcony. The entire area was floored with a dark hard wood. The walls were painted a pale blue, so pale it was almost white. The cabinets were painted a darker blue.

He appreciated the simplicity of it. The living room had a couch that would fit 3 people, 4 if it was a tight squeeze. There was a love seat and a large chair that two people could fit in with a decent size ottoman. The wall in the living room consisted of built in book shelves that were almost completely full. Mostly with books, but also pictures, an impressive vinyl collection and what he assumed were momentos and memories from her life. He felt like he was intruding on some of the deepest parts of her.

"I'm going to go change. I'll be right back."

"I'll be here." Her eyes lingered on him for a moment and she headed down the hall that was between the dining room and kitchen. He could tell the wall color of the hallway was the same as the rest of the apartment. He wandered over to the shelves to look at the pictures. His eyes immediately went to a picture of Gia, Gabe and another boy who was older than the other two. It was clear from this picture that Gia was the youngest and the unnamed boy was the oldest. The boys both had a sandy blonde hair. Gabe's hair was cut short, while the other boy's was longer on top and had waves to it. They both had bright blue eyes. Gia's hair was a light ash blonde when she was a little girl, her hair now was a few shades darker, but still had an ashy tone to it. He had wondered if her curls were natural, they were almost too perfect to be. He couldn't help but smile at the wildness of the curls that framed her face as a child. Her bright smile was the best part of the picture. Her eyes were a stunning dark blue. It was clear the boys were brothers. Gia could definitely be there sister, but he wasn't 100% sure.

"He was my brother." Her voice was hoarse. Barba hadn't realized that he had been staring at that single picture for so long. He turned and looked at her. She was perfectly imperfect. Her hair had the wildness of her childhood and was secured in a messy bun on her head. She was wearing short black bicycle shorts, she must have put a baggy white t-shirt on, the hem of it was a few inches longer than the royal blue hoodie she had put on.

His eyes were dragged to her left thigh. She had a large tatto of an intricate black dreamcatcher over what looked like water color purple, blue, and light turquoise. He couldn't help himself.

"Nice ink Detective." Her cheeks grew pink, the paleness of the rest of her face made it stand out more. He gave her a small half smile which caused a ghost of the one to cross hers and then it disappeared quickly.

He watched her as she walked to the refrigerator and pulled a bottle out of the freezer. She pulled out two glasses and filled them half way with the amber liquid. She opened the refrigerator and poured some maraschino cherry juice into one. As she put the bottle back in the freezer she reached in a plopped a few ice cubes into what he knew was her glass. She drank it all of the time, bourbon with cherry juice. He teased her that she couldn't drink it straight like a grownup. She had said she wanted to enjoy her drink, not prove a point. She walked over to where the couch was and set their glasses on two coasters on the table across from the couch that was painted the same color as her cabinets, but it had white roses intricately painted on it.

She looked over at him. "How...how long are you going to stay?" He watched as she bit into her half of her bottom lip. It made him realize that she wanted him there because she truly didn't want to be alone, but she was too afraid or proud to ask.

"As long as you want me to." He watched her contemplate for a moment.

"Well you might want to get at least a little more comfortable." He walked over to the door and slid his shoes off. He took his suit jacket off and hung it on the back of a dining room chair and then removed his tie as well. He left his suspenders on, but rolled his sleeve up.

When he turned back around, she was sitting in the middle of the couch with her knees drawn to her chest watching him. He walked over and sat to her right so he could sit closer to her. He could see the wheels turning in her head. She was trying to decide what to say, how much she was going to let him in.

"The other boy in the picture is my older brother Grayson." Rafael put his arm behind her on the couch and turned toward her slightly.

"Are you close?" He asked tentatively. She nodded.

"He works in finance. He, my niece and sister-in-law live in the city. Like the super rich section of the city."

"You don't exactly live in the poor section of the city." She rolled her eyes at him.

"This apartment was my grandmother's. She passed away while I was finishing my Bachelor's. She left it to me and Gray. I told him we should sell it and split the profits. He refused. Our Grandmother lived her for a long time, after my dad had grown up. Gray said he wanted me to be able to live off campus when I started my Master's at Columbia. He also said that he didn't need the apartment. He was already really successful at that point. He thought that if he let me live here when I was working towards my doctorate, that I would stay in the city when I was done. He couldn't stand the idea of me not being close. He and I have always been close. He was nine when I was born. He made it his job in life to protect me."

"You don't have to answer this if you don't want to. What about you and Gabe?" She slowly let her legs slide down and away from her chest. She leaned forward and took a long drink from her glass and then leaned back and rested her head on the back of the couch and closed her eyes for a moment. After a few moments she opened her eyes again.

"Gabe had classic middle child syndrome. He was almost four when I was born. He had a hard time adjusting to not being the baby of the family anymore. I think it made it harder that I was the only girl. It wasn't until I was ten that we started to get along. I always felt like he hated me. I think becoming a teenager made him shift his ire from me to our parents and Grayson. Especially Grayson. He always thought Gray loved me more."

"What happened Gia?" She leaned forward again and downed the rest of her drink. When she was done, she shifted closer to him to on the couch, and then she put her head in her hands. He immediately felt guilty. He slid his hand down to the middle of her upper back and lighted rubbed circles on it. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me. I'm sorry I asked" She wiped her eyes before she sat up and sniffed. He kept his hand on her back.

"I want to. I need to. I can't...I can't keep this in. I've been so alone in this for so long." She swallowed and took a few moments to regain some composure. "Gabe was an angry kid and my parents, especially my mom, didn't know how to handle him. She was so hard on him when in reality, he just needed more affection. My dad wasn't as hard as my mom, but he wasn't great at showing affection to either of my brothers. Old school Italian. It didn't bother Gray. He was just built differently. It wasn't that he didn't love them, he just didn't know how to show it like he did with me. Gray had no tolerance for Gabe. I was the only one that ever stood up for him, even when he didn't deserve it. In retrospect now, Gabe is- was on the spectrum. His intense need for fairness and justice was intolerable to my mother." She paused and took a few deep breaths. He didn't dare say anything. He didn't want her to retreat again.

"When he turned 15, he fell into a bad crowd. He acted out. He was a completely different person. He shut me out  and I gave up trying. When I turned 13, he showed up to my birthday party drunk. It was the limit for Grayson. They got into a physical fight and then he took off. My best friend, Elizabeth, Lizzie, who lived in the neighborhood, spent the night that night. Grayson was dating her sister Amy. They both felt horrible that my party had gotten ruined. So they said we were having an after party. They got a bunch of pizzas, we made ice cream sundaes and watched movies and had a dance party." She wiped a few stray tears away. "It was the most fun I had in so long. I was on an accelerated program at school. It was so hard. And Gray? He just wanted me to get to be a kid for one day. To him, what Gabe did was unforgivable. The morning after, Amy and Elizabeth walked home. A few hours later, their parents called checking to see when they would be home. I remember my father taking the call, but he didn't say anything. Gray and I were hanging out playing video games. He told us that he would be back soon." She took his drink and poured it into her glass and downed it. His hand was firmly still on her back. He realized that she needed to finish this story. She needed to unburden herself.

"They found Lizzie first." Saying her name out loud must have felt agonizing. She had paused and clenched her jawn for a moment. "She had been drugged, but they had given her too much and she overdosed. They said that she likely wasn't conscious to feel what they did to her. What they did to her made me sick. I saw her body." Another long pause with a deep breath before she continued "Amy was another story. It was weeks before they caught a break. They found this fort deep in the woods. Amy wasn't there, but there was evidence she had been. Lizzie's bag was there too. And there was evidence of two unknown kidnappers. The fort they found was one that I used to follow Gabe to all the time when we were younger. At 13, I couldn't even comprehend that my own teenage brother could be responsible for something like that. There were a handful of these forts in the woods in our neighborhood. When they found more evidence at a second one, I knew something was off. Gabe had been cagey and defensive for weeks. He refused to help them search. Gray was furious with him." Barba knew where this was going. She didn't have to finish, yet he knew there were things he couldn't possibly know that she needed to say.

"That night, I remember hearing Grayson crying in his room. I had never heard him cry before. I couldn't sleep. I had to dig through the vault of my brain to recall where it was, it was as a long time since I went following Gabe around. It was just before Dawn when I heard my father in the kitchen and I went down and told him that Gabe had used those forts. They had found four of them, but I knew there was a fifth. It was so deep into the woods and well hidden. I knew they wouldn't find it on their own. My father called his partner and we met him and a few of the other detectives near the woods. He didn't tell my mother or Gray that we were going. He didn't want to get anyone's hopes up and he didn't want Grayson coming. He wasn't sure what we were going to find. When we got there, he had one of the officers take me home. They didn't want me to see either, but they needed me to show them where to go. Amy was barely alive when they found her. And what they didn't to her?" She was crying again and shaking. "I can't even say it, but it was horrific. Once they had gotten her out and secured the crime scene, my father came home and arrested my brother. He didn't want anyone else to do it. And when Gabe came down the stairs, he knew, he knew I was the one that led them there." She leaned forward and grabbed a few tissues.

"Amy died while in ICU. I almost think it was a blessing. If she had physically recovered, she never would have recovered psychologically from the torture she endured. It was sadistic" she shook her head. "As angry as Gabe was? I just couldn't see him doing something like that. He refused to give up who his partner was. My father begged him. The D.A. was willing to cut him a deal. He gives up his partner, the D.A. would take the death penalty off of the table. Gabe still refused. He said he wouldn't give up the only person that cared about him. My testimony put that needle in his arm tonight" Her hands were still shaking.

"Look at me." Gia shook her head. "Gianna Mira!" He said a little more forcefully. She slowly looked at him. He closed the small amount of distance between them and took her face in both of his hands and wiped her tears. "You listen to me right now. You are NOT responsible for this. He made the choice to abuse and murder two girls with his friend. He made a choice to not give that friend up. It was his choices that led to what happened tonight, not yours." She nodded, he stayed close to her.

"My mother, she- she told me that if I had said something sooner that Amy would still be alive. I was just a kid, I didn't know. When Grayson heard her say that? He was SO angry. It was the first time in his life he ever stood up to her. She backed off, but she never apologized. I don't think she's ever apologized for anything. She used to tell my dad and Gray that they were going to make me soft and I needed to be a pillar of strength. I was traumatized and she couldn't be bothered with feelings. She never saw Gabe again after he was sentenced. He was no longer her son. My father gave up on him too after a few years. The D.A. told him that if he turned his partner over, they would stay the execution. My father tried so hard to convince him, he just couldn't take it anymore. And Grayson? He didn't care that he was our brother, he would never forgive him. It is the only thing we ever fight over. I wasn't allowed to see him, my mother made that very clear. When I turned 18, he called me. He was an adult and time had made him remorseful. He told me that he never blamed me. He told me it was never supposed to go that far. He had just wanted to mess with Grayson. His friend was only supposed to grab Amy. His friend had panicked when Lizzie started screaming so he took them both. I tried, one more time to get him to open his mouth. He said, the only control he ever had in his life was keeping his mouth shut and that he didn't want them to cancel the execution. He was ready to be done. I asked him to stay alive, for me. He told me that I would be better off without him. There would be no more arguing with Grayson. He wasn't scared to die. He was just sorry that it was going to cause me more pain. He said he was still too selfish to put anyone's needs above his own. I had hoped that my Dad would have come. I just don't think his heart could take it. I know they spoke on the phone a few weeks ago. Neither one of them would tell me about it beyond that. The not knowing who was responsible for Lizzie still haunts me. I have nightmares all of the time. That's why I have the tattoo, I thought maybe a physical manifestation would help stop them. I don't know that I'll ever sleep again."

She grabbed both of their glasses and went over to the counter and refilled their drinks. Rafael stood up and followed her. He took the drinks out of her hands and set them on the counter and then pulled her into a tight hug.He felt her body relax in his arms. He didn't want to say he was sorry. Somehow he knew she would see it as pitty. There were no words that could be said that would make any difference. They stood like that for a while before she pulled away. He wiped her eyes again.

"Thank you for trusting me with your story. Who else knows?"

"Just Cragen. He would only let me come to SVU if I was upfront about why I wanted to work there. Though I held it together when I told him."

"Amaro doesn't?"

"No. He just saw a portion of the execution notice. He asked, but I wouldn't tell him. He asked me if I was going and I said yes. He wanted to come with me, but I told him no. I wouldn't have been able to handle him finding out"

"I'm surprised you let me come in with you, but I'm glad you did. No one should go through that alone. Your story is safe with me."

"I know. I trust you, Rafael."

"I'm glad."

"You don't have to stay."

"There's no place else I want to be right now. C'mon, we'll watch a movie." He tucked a loose girl behind her ear. Rafael wasn't leaving her alone. While she was willing to share all of that, she was also excellent at masking her emotions, likely a trait she learned so she could appease or survive her mother. She needed someone to show up for her. He was more than willing to do that for her.

[brooklynislandgirl]

10 Fandoms / 10 Characters / 10 Tags

Tagged By: my loves @kylo-wrecked and @tangleweave Tagging: Anyone who feels like they need one more Sunday this weekend.

~*~*~*~

I. Marvel: Beta-Ray Bill, Eddie Brock/Venom, Doctor Strange, Phil Coulson, Vision, Groot, Spider-Man {Peter Parker}, Gambit, Doctor Morbius, Bucky Barnes. M'Baku {Hate the moniker of 'Man-Ape'}. Magneto. Loki. Night Crawler. Frank "Punisher" Castle. Colossus. Danny "Iron Fist" Rand. Foggy Nelson. Ghost Rider {Both Johnny Blaze and Robbie Reyes, "Caretaker" Carter Slade}. I know that's more than 10. Whatever, I do what I want. >.> II. DC: Lex Luthor, Nanaue {King Shark}, Martian Man Hunter, John Constantine, The Joker, Jonathan Crane, Morpheus {Dream of the Endless}, Death of the Endless, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Bane, Swamp Thing, Green Lantern. Cisco Ramon. Hunter Zoloman.

I absolutely blame @nightmarefuele for at least two of these.

III. Star Wars: Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader. Admiral Piett. Kylo Ren. Wedge Antilles. Kit Fisto. Han Solo. Chewbacca. Jocasta Nu. Darth Rivan {not to be confused with Darth Revan}. Jos Vondar. Jango and Boba Fett, and of course, all my 10,000,000,000 Clone children. No I will not be taking questions.

IV. Star Trek: Worf, Martok, Gowron, Chancellor Gorkon, Kurn, Dr McCoy, Uhura, Sulu, Chekhov, Chris Pike, Ortegas, Nurse Chapel, Geordie La Forge, Riker, Data, Lore, Chief O'Brien, Q, Benjamin Cisco, Garak, Gul Dukat, Quark. V. Firefly: Mal Reynolds, Jayne Cobb, Hobun Washburne, Zoe Washburne, Shepherd Book, Kaylee Frye, YoSafBridge, Adalai Niska, Badger, Jubal Early Take my life, take my land, take me where I cannot stand. I don't care 'cause I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me. {{My coat has always been a little...brownish.}

VI. The Walking Dead: Shane Walsh, Daryl and Merle Dixon, Michonne Hawthorne, Abraham Ford, Glenn Rhee, The Governor, Bob Stookey, Ezekiel, Dwight, Aaron, Morgan Jones. VII. Justified: Raylan, Boyd, Ava, Art, Rachel, Tim, Dewey Crowe, Johnny Crowder, Loretta McCready, Robert Quarles, Ellstin Limehouse, Mags Bennett, Devil, Jean Baptiste, Boon, Willa, Carolyn, Sweety... oh so many. VIII. Yellowstone: John, Jamie, Beth, Kayce Dutton, Rip Wheeler, Jimmy Hurdstrom, Thomas Rainwater, Mo Brings Plenty, Lloyd, Colby, Teeter, Jake, Ethan, Angela Blue Thunder, Malcolm Beck. IX. Law & Order- Alphabet Soup: Captain Cragen, Lenny Briscoe, Mike Logan, Anita Van Buren, Jack McCoy. Rey Curtis, Ed Green, Arthur Branch, Cyrus Lupo, Kevin Bernard, Frank Cosgrove, Jalen Shaw. Elliot Stabler, Olivia Benson, Odafin Tutuola, John Munch, Chester Lake, Melinda Warner, Amanda Rollins, Rafael Barba, Dominick Carisi, Peter Stone, Bobby Goran. I have seen literally every episode of the American Law & Order franchise Original, SVU, CI, OC, etc...with the first three watched multiple times. While I often wouldn't call it my most favourite show...it's probably my most favourite shows.

X. The Lord of the Rings: Boromir and Faramir, Éomer and Éowyn, Theoden King, Theodred, Gimli, Pippin, Sam, Meriadoc, Fangorn {Treebeard}, Beorn, Celebrimbor, Bard the Bowman, Dwalin, Celeborn, Denethor, Gil-Galad king, Fingolfin, The Watcher in the Water, Maedhros, Finwe, Manwe...and I could go on for years. My first true fandom as we know it {probably Arthurian Legend was my first and truest fictional love}, and one I have been faithful to for over 25 years. Honestly never please talk to me about it, because I have rabid opinions about literally everything. And lastly, I only included tv/movies here because books and rpgs would require an entire three or four Long Ass Posts all of their own. Much Love.

[therapycat21]

Cocky Man Pt.2

Rafael Barba x OC!Valentina Teller

Series Description:

Valentina Teller is a sketch artist for the NYPD and assists the SVU with cases. Go through this journey with her as she meets the sassy and confident DA for the SVU Rafael Barba.

"UGH!" Val exclaims loudly before launching her eraser towards the corner of her office and taking an aggressive sip of her iced coffee before her doors abruptly open "The sketch you drew, the man has a deep scar, deep enough from a knife?" an anxious Barba says speeding into the room without much of an introduction, leaving Val blindsided. 

Mouth agape from his small rant she realizes he's still waiting for a response based on his arms crossing and a raised eyebrow. Val shakes her head clearly "Um yeah, she said it had to of been a knife cause of how deep it was and he also the one near his eyebrow" she finally says placing her coffee down on her strawberry coaster.

He nods, his head down in thought before releasing a deep sigh and slumping in one of her comfy chairs that sit in front of her desk. Val raises an eyebrow,curious about the visit from the DA, Val looks at Barba before clearing her throat 

"no offense counselor but why did you come all the way up here if you could have just asked Liv?" she asks giving an almost awkward smile. Barba smirks "well maybe I just wanted to meet you a little better this time around" he says with a cocky smile.

Val blushes under his stare before she breaks the tension by offering him some of her nutter butters she was snacking on "would you like a nutter butter?" she asks pushing the opened package closer to him

he chuckles at the awkward and flustered woman before nodding and reaching forward to snack on the cookie. Val and Barba sat for an hour snacking on the cookies and talking mindlessly about any and everything.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

"your telling me that you've never had an iced coffee before?" Val asks shocked at the man in front of her. He shakes his head laughing slightly "nope,never and I never plan to either" Val throws her hands against her forehead "that is gonna change one day, I promise you that" Val says determined to get him to try it. The pair are interrupted by val's office phone ringing.

she holds a finger up before answering, Barba stares in interest before she finally places the phone back down. "that was Liv, they need us both upstairs" she tells him, val watches as the man sighs in exhaust before standing and grabbing the jacket he had shed earlier and his briefcase, Barba stands by the door as Val gathers her belongings and the pair head to the elevator to go downstairs to meet Liv and the rest of the team.

As the elevator doors open and they walk into the the center of the detectives desks, the team all give the pair odd looks while rollins gives val a little smirk. Barba gives the team a sigh in clear exhaustion "okay, what do you need or what do you have?" barba says annoyed. 

Val peeks out the corner of her eye at him with a small smile, gaining a small smirk in return that the squad did not miss. Liv office door opens and she walks out putting her phone away "that was Cassandra walls mother, and she said Cassandra is officially recanting everything she has said about her attacker and does not want to testify in court" Liv stops right in front of Barba and Val. 

Barba huffs in response while val stands confused "I'm confused, why am I here for this?" she asks Liv. Liv sighs "you're here because even though Cassandra isn't testifying you were able to get a clear sketch and you can show the jury that was she told you in great detail is true, maybe this can show the jury that Cassandra is telling the truth and maybe she is being pressured to recant because she may know her attacker personally" Val nods in agreement as Barba stares at Liv 

"you think she knows them personally? how so?" he asks as Liv go to stand by the bulletin board "we did some digging and found a family member of hers that fits her description she gave Val almost exactly, and now all of a sudden her mom is telling us she can't testify anymore, maybe it's because he is family to them" Liv finishes.

Barba nods while thinking "get me a little more about how he is related and try to bring Cassandra in for questioning, in the meantime" He turns towards val "you're coming with me, I need to prep you for the stand and whoever this guys attorney is" he doesn't wait for a response before almost speed walking towards the elevator. 

Val stands in shock from pretty much all of that conversation before turning towards the squad "pre p me? I'm gonna testify?" val asks, rollins nods before smirking "eh don't worry, I think Barba will prep you juu--st right" she laughs before turning back to her computer leaving a flustered Val.

°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。°。

"Ms. Teller, what occurred with you and Cassandra Wall at your meeting to help her sketch out her attacker?" Barba asks standing at the table in front of Val where she sits on the stand in the empty courtroom. Val clears her throat "umm, Miss Wall could barely remember anything about her attacker besides a scar he had near his mouth and eyebrow" Val says, her voice shaking slightly.

 Barba looks up from his file in question "are you nervous?" he asks bluntly and slapping his folder shut and tossing it on the table. Val tries to avoid eye contact from the intimidating man before finally making contact and nodding slightly "very much so, I've never had to do this before" Val tells him gaining an understanding nod from him.

Barba walks up to the stand, placing his hands on the edge "it's okay to be nervous, but If we want to get Cassandra to tell the truth to the jury, your voice cannot shake,I know it's gonna be hard but if you get too nervous just look at me " he tells Val assuringly. Val nods her head with a small smile before her phone rings, breaking the pairs staring contest.

Val hurryingly reaches for her phone seeing a call from her daughters school, Val answers hearing Amelia's teacher calling because she quickly got sick and needed to be taken home "okay, thank you so much Carla!" 

Val tells the person over the phone before hanging up and looking up at a confused Barba "sorry, um that was my daughters school, I gotta go get her, she got sick" she tells him. 

Barba nods in understanding "how old is she?"he asks watching Val gathering her stuff "oh she's four about to be five soon" Barba nods with a smile. Val looks up after grabbing all of her stuff "thank you for prepping me, Just let me know when you guys need me for court" she tells him gaining a nod from him 

"I'll call you when I get the details, see you later" he says, Val smiles "thank you, see you later" Val opens and leaves the courtroom, Leaving a slightly flustered and emotionally confused Barba.

Authors Note: 

Please leave a like and a comment!!

[x-bluefire-heart-x]

Really Detective?

Hey everyone! This particular piece is a short one. It's Rafael Barba/Male reader. @nickamaro requested this cute little piece. It was requested that I write this imagine with either Rafael or Olivia. And I decided to do both. Olivia's one will be posted soon. I hope you all enjoy! And please feel free to request stories, either from my prompt list or just anything you would like to read.

Warnings: Swearing

Masterlist

Prompt list

Rafael could hardly believe his eyes. At first he thought he had fallen asleep in his office after too much coffee and too much paper work. But no, that definitely hadn’t happened. He was in the apartment he shared with his boyfriend. His boyfriend who was currently standing on the kitchen counter with…oh jesus that was bug spray and a lighter.

“Carino, I know you said you didn’t like the curtains but this is a bit extreme,” Rafael drawled as he put his briefcase on a chair.

“This isn’t about the curtains baby,” you retorted eyes not leaving one particular spot on the floor. Rafael looked closely at you, a light sheen of sweat covered your face and your knuckles were almost white as you gripped the items in your hands. Your muscles tense.

“Okay, then what is it about?” Rafael raised an eyebrow. “And can you please get off the counter and put the lighter down.”

“Not until that fucker reappears so I can fry it,” you growled.

“Need a little more,” Rafael prodded looking around trying to figure out what was going on.

“There was a massive fucking spider on the floor there,” you explained. “And then it just vanished so now I am staying here until it shows itself.”

“A spider?” Rafael was even more confused. To Rafael you looked scared. Very scared. But that wasn’t something he had ever seen on you. “I have seen you stare down guns and people holding knives at you but a spider has you like this.”

“Don’t tease me,” you almost whined at your boyfriend. “I don’t like spiders Rafi, they’re creepy as hell with all their legs and eyes and…and there it is!”

Rafael looked over his shoulder and saw the spider. It was small, nowhere near the size he thought it would be from how you are acting. Rafael sighed rubbing the bridge of his nose as he walked over and stomped on the poor thing. He did not want to risk you actually setting things on fire. Rafael turned around just in time to have you fling yourself into his arms. You were taller than him but at this moment Rafael felt like he was taller as you curled yourself into him, burying your head into his neck. Arms thrown around his shoulders as you nuzzled into him.

“Thank you,” you whispered. Rafael wrapped his arms around your waist, trying very hard not to chuckle. This side of you was new and he found it incredibly adorable, and he didn’t want anyone else to ever see it.

“Of course, Carino,” he patted your back, squeezing you softly. He found it amusing that his brave detective boyfriend was so afraid of spiders but at the same time a small part of him was a little pleased that he got to be the protector for once. “I’ll deal with any spiders, so no need to almost burn the apartment down.”

“…Shush,” you muttered, lightly nipping his neck. “And don’t even think about telling anyone about this.”

“Ah, yes, don’t want your reputation of being one of the most badass and intimidating detectives to be tarnished,” Rafael laughed hand coming up to tug gently on your hair. A whine left your throat at the action, the man knew exactly what he was doing. You went to pull away from him but Rafael held on to you. “Aw, don’t worry Carino. I promise I won’t tell anyone you needed a knight in shining armour.”

“Don’t be mean,” you muttered being able to move enough to look at him, his green eyes shining with amusement. Rafael caught your eyes, which still had a slight hint of fear in them, the sight of that smothered the rest of his amusement. He cupped your face leaning forward to kiss your cheeks and your lips.

“I’m sorry Carino,” he whispered. “I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

You smiled softly at him leaning to rest your forehead against his, nuzzling his nose. You had hoped that he would never find out about your fear of spiders. Last time someone had they made you feel so small, as if a detective of your size and demeanour couldn’t have such a fear. As if someone who charges into danger without a moment’s hesitation shouldn’t be afraid.  

“Thank you,” you told him again kissing him. “Never had my own knight in shining armour but I’m glad you’re mine.”

“Well, it’s the least I can do after the times you have saved me,” Rafael grinned. “Now how about some dinner?”

“Or we could just skip right to dessert,” you suggested pulling out of his arms and walking backwards towards the bedroom, tugging on his hands.

“If this is the reward I get every time I kill a spider, I hope I find more,” Rafael grinned untangling one of his hands to loosen his tie, his eyes darkening as he stepped closer to nip at your neck.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Spring Break '86" {Eddie Munson/Reader}

Part 2 is here!

Yeah, I did it. I started a series about Eddie Munson.

This one should go really well because I actually have an outline/timeline to go by. [Stranger Things Season 4, Part 1. Maybe going into Part 2?]

Basically, you are Dustin Henderson's older sister, with a secret "history" with Eddie Munson. And that history is slowly being uncovered when you come home from college for spring break, and find that Eddie is best buds with your little brother.

You get caught into the events of S4, and the truth becomes more and more clear.

I have a full, thought-out plot and story with this, regardless of how S4 ends. Meaning if Eddie dies. But Eddie will NOT DIE. NO. HE WON'T. I LOVE HIM AND WON'T LET IT HAPPEN.

I have a tag list, but it's for Rafael Barba fans so I will not include them here. If you would like to be added to a tag list for this story, please let me know!

I hope you guys like it!

===================

“Ughh where are you, you little worm…” 

You grumbled under your breath as you stomped out of the still cheering gymnasium of Hawkins Highschool. You had just driven back home to Hawkins Indiana from Chicago, and you weren’t in the best mood. 

It was the Spring Break of your freshman year at college, and rather than head to the coast with your new college gal pals, you had stupidly opted to come back home for the week instead. Truth be told you weren’t exactly the “beach babe” type, and you would never admit it but you missed your mom, Mews, and your little brother Dustin. 

However, at this exact moment you were in fact not missing him in the least. Here you had driven all night to surprise him at his best friend’s basketball game, and he wasn’t there. How could he not be there? This was the very first time in any history you knew that Hawkins had made it to a tournament, and you knew for a fact that one of Dustin’s best friends Lucas Sinclair was on the team. How could Dustin and his little “party” not be there cheering him on?

Before you reached your car in the parking lot, you heard cheering come from inside the school. Which was odd, because you were pretty sure anybody who was supposed to be there was in the gymnasium. Then a thought occurred to you:

Your brother wasn’t exactly the “normal” high schooler, like his friend Lucas. No star athlete, not really Mr. Popular. He liked really weird things like sci-fi and nerd stuff, Star Wars, shit like that. But the one thing he loved above it all was his stupid Dungeons and Dragons group he had, which included his only friends. Obviously.

If you were being absolutely honest with yourself, the whole “Satanic Panic” about D&D had started running rampant through your school newspapers, and you’d never admit it but it actually started to freak you out. As far as you knew, those games were harmless. Stupid, but harmless. 

But whether or not it was true, you knew your small town was easily poisoned. Some whiff of any kind of controversy, a threat, a rumor, could roll into that town and the people would be burning people at the stake by the end of the day. You couldn’t let them try to “save” your brother from the “devil’s game’.

All of these thoughts ran through your head long enough to stall you from walking into the school before a group of teens came bursting out in cheers and joyous chants. Among them was your little brother, who stopped dead when he saw you standing there in the parking lot. 

“....Y/N? What are you doing here?” Dustin asked warily, totally confused on why you would be in his High School parking lot at 10 o'clock at night. 

“Jesus Dusty,” You let out a soft laugh of disbelief. “I drove all the way down here to surprise you and all–” 

You were just starting to chastise your brother when the last person you ever expected to see came strolling out of the dark school halls. 

Eddie Munson.

Your nose scrunched as you watched him saunter over to your brother giving him and the others high fives. He quickly stopped and changed his demeanor once he saw you standing behind the group. 

“Henderson, you didn’t tell me your mom was such a babe,” Eddie eyed you up and down devilishly. 

“Shut up,” You narrowed your eyes on the long-haired man.

“Dude that’s my sister, not my–” Dustin started to explain to Eddie who you were.

“He knows who I am, Dust,” you cut him off, still glaring at Eddie. 

“What?” Dustin blinked in confusion. “Why? How is that–”

“Didn’t expect to see you hare, princess,” Eddie smirked back at your daggered eyes, while Dustin and his friends looked between the two of you in shock. 

“Come to cheer on your good ol’ alma mater, cheer captain?” he teased.

“You sure are cocky for a grown man hanging out with children at night, Munson,” You didn’t bat an eye at his insult as you retorted with your own. 

“Damn,” you heard some girl you’d never seen before laugh under her breath at your line. 

“Hey, Eddie’s my friend Y/N,” Dustin defended him. “We’re in school together,”

“Excuse me?” You laughed harder as you stared at Eddie with amusement. “Eddie, you still haven’t graduated?”

“Shut up,” Eddie said in a low, guttural voice. 

 “What are you, collecting a punch card?” you went on taunting him. 

“Shut, your mouth,” you could see Eddie clenching his fists as you continued to laugh.

“One more senior year and they give you a plaque for ‘biggest moron ever’?” you lost yourself in giggles at the last statement, imagining it. 

“SHUT UP!!!!!!” Eddie bellowed in the parking lot, making everyone jump back a foot and a half. None of the kids had ever seen Eddie mad before. Annoyed, sure. Aggravated by the “sheeples” at school, all the time. But this was different. This was rage. 

“What the fuck, Y/N?!” Dustin yelled at you angrily, as you looked back at him with an innocent confusion.

“Henderson I have never hit a girl in my life, and I really would like to keep it that way,” Eddie grunted through gritted teeth. 

“Yeah don’t worry, I’ll hit her for you,” Dustin said without thinking. 

“Dustin!” you gasped.

“No, you won’t either!” Eddie suddenly raised his voice at the boy, making both of you look back at him in stunned confusion.

“What?” Dustin looked between the two of you suspiciously.  “...What is happening here?” 

“Dustin, get your friends in the car. I’ll take them home,” you quickly changed the subject.

“But Eddie was–” Dustin protested.

“Nah man, forget it,” Eddie waved him off. “I’ve got a date anyway,” 

“Sure you do,” you laughed under your breath as you helped the girl you’d never seen before into the backseat of your Mustang.

Once the kids were squished into your car, you closed the door enough so they couldn’t hear you and Eddie’s conversation. 

“Seriously Eddie,” You said in a low but concerned tone. 

“Seriously Y/N, you need to leave. Before I do something I regret,” 

“You’d never hit me,” You looked at him with the smallest of a sad smile. He looked down at the ground, confirming the statement.

“Okay but seriously, what is this?” you shook off the sentiment crawling out of you.

“What is what?” Eddie asked you in annoyance.

“This,” you gestured between the kids in the car and him. “Why are you hanging out with my little brother? Why are you even still here?!”

“You said it yourself, I’m waiting for my official ‘dumbass’ plaque,” He half laughed sadly, playing with the rings on his fingers while still staring at the pavement. 

“Eddie,” your voice softened. “You know I didn’t–” 

“No, I actually think you did, Y/N,” Eddie started walking away backwards from your car. 

“Eddie come on, I–” you tried to walk after him. 

“Just, fuck off and leave me alone, okay?” Eddie yelled back angrily, throwing both of his middle fingers up at you while he faded away into the distance of the parking lot. 

You waited several seconds before giving up on him coming back and got into the driver’s seat, starting the car and driving out of the parking lot. 

“What the fuck was that, Y/N?” Dustin immediately started berating you again. “Why did you have to be such a bitch to him? How do you even know him?!”

“Not now, Dustin,” You warned him as you drove towards Mike Wheeler’s house. 

His friends looked up to the sky, praying to be thrown from the car rather than sit in the car for this awkward sibling fight.

-----------

After dropping off his friends, Dustin started his interrogation on you. 

“Alright now you wanna explain to me why you were such a bitch to my friend, Y/N?” he snapped.

“Dusty!” You gasped. “Jesus, language. And you do NOT call women bitches, especially your loving sister,”

“Sorry,” he huffed reluctantly. “It’s just, Eddie–”

“Dustin, Eddie’s a big boy. I’m sure his hurt feelings will–” 

“No, don't do that,” Dustin interjected. “Don’t start acting all high and mighty just because you came home from a fancy college, and Eddie–”

“I know Eddie Munson a hell of a lot more than you Dustin, I think I know what he can and cannot handle,” 

“How is that possible?!” Dusty threw his hands up at the conspiracy. 

“Just— just leave it alone, Dusty, okay? I’m sorry I bitched out your friend,” You sighed, unwilling to get into the ‘history’ of you and Eddie Munson in that exact moment. 

“For NO reason,” he added.

“...For no reason,” You rolled your eyes. 

“Now tell him that,” He crossed his arms with a smile as you pulled onto your street.

“What, now?” you gave him a look.

“Yes, NOW,” he nodded forcefully. 

“He’s on a date,” you protested innocently.

“You and I both know he’s full of shit,” Dustin rolled his eyes. “He’s just gonna go home, and–”

“And get stoned, and feel sorry for himself all night,” you finished his thought.

“Wha—?” Dustin’s eyes widened at the accuracy of your statement. “I mean, I wouldn’t put it that way but, yeah…” 

“Alright fine, fine,” you pulled into your driveway as you spoke. “You go inside, and I’ll go talk to Eddie,”

“You’ll APOLOGIZE to Eddie,” he clarified. 

“Fine I will apologize to Eddie,” you begrudgingly replied. 

“Okay, he lives–” Dustin started.

“I know where he lives, Dustin,” you shook your head. 

“Wha– seriously?!” Dustin continued to be thrown by your words. 

“WHEN did you have time to get all this intel on Eddie? When have you EVER hung out with him?” 

“In case you haven’t noticed Dustin, you’ve been pretty preoccupied by your own friends these last few years,” you reminded him. “I can’t remember the last time we actually had one of our “Dustbusters,” 

You saw him sadly smile at the mention of your “sibling dates” you two would have when you were younger. You weren’t terribly older than him so when you were kids you were kind of inseparable. But then puberty hit, and you both gravitated towards other things and people. The truth was you really had no idea what had gone on with him in the last few years.

You knew he had a friend that got abducted, or went missing, or something of the matter. It had really shaken him to his core. And after that, he grew more and more isolated from you and your mom, and closer to his “party”. A “party” that apparently included Eddie Munson of all people. 

“Yeah, I guess so,” Dustin rubbed the back of his neck as he thought about what had really gone on in his life in the past three years. Things you would never even dream of. Things he would never dream of telling you. You and your mom worried enough about him.

“Just…go easy on him, please?” he asked you earnestly. “I know you think he’s a moron, but–”

“I know he’s not a moron, Dustin,” you assured him. 

“Then what was the–” 

“Too long of a story, Dusty. Just go inside, I promise I’ll be nice to Eddie,” 

“Alright fine,” he grumbled as he shut the door. The window was still down, so he stuck his head in once more. 

“Hey, sis?”

“Yeah, Dusty?” you asked in growing annoyance. 

“...Thanks for coming home this week,” He smiled at you. “I missed you,” 

“Oh you little—” your annoyance melted away as you jumped out of the driver’s seat and ran over to where he was standing beside the car, throwing your arms around him. This was all you had wanted to do since you left Chicago.

“I missed you too, you doof,” You ruffled his hair and placed an over exaggerated sloppy kiss to his forehead. 

“Gross,” Dustin pulled away from you, making a huge display of disgust as he ran back inside and you got back into your car with an amused laugh.

—---------

It took a little longer than you expected to make it to the trailer park. You hadn’t been out there in such a long time, you didn’t remember how to get there as well as you thought. After a few U-Turns and cursing, you finally found the field of glowing trailers. 

You drove down a row or two, looking for Eddie’s car. It wasn’t long before you saw it parked in front of a trailer almost off by itself in the park. You turned off your lights and edged slowly towards the trailer, parking on the other side of it where no windows could see you. If you were going to do this, you’d need a minute to prepare.

Okay, apologize. Apologize to Eddie Munson. For what? A hell of a lot more than you promised Dustin, that’s for sure. You were actually kind of surprised he didn’t even have the slightest memory of you two ever hanging out.

Well, Eddie looked really different when the two of you were in junior high. That was for damn sure. The cute little cow-licked boy with the coke bottle glasses was a far cry from the hairy, volatile beast he was now.

You got out of your car, still unsure of what to say. You were going over so many things in your head, lost in your own thoughts and worries, you didn’t even notice the lights flickering through the windows. 

“Eddie, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that stuff in front of my brother,” you spoke out loud in your best sincere voice as you were still pacing in front of the front door. 

“But you haven’t exactly been the nicest to me since–” 

Before you could say another word of your personal monologue, a bright light came shooting out from every window and door of the trailer as it shook violently. It surprised you so much that you fell back in awe, your eyes darting every which way. The light continued to beam through the trailer for several seconds before completely evaporating, leaving a loud THUMP in its wake coming from inside. 

Then you heard the screaming. 

Before you could register what was going on, a panicked Eddie who was still screaming came bolting out the front door, heading for his car. He practically tripped over your still stunned self-sitting in front of his home. 

“Oof!” He tumbled to the ground, momentarily stopping his screams. He turned to see you sitting there, his eyes were wide with fear. His face was paler than your night time face cream. He didn’t know whether to jump up and run or collapse into your arms. He did the latter. 

“Y/N, I didn’t do it,” He immediately began to sob as he pulled himself tightly into your arms. “I swear to God, I didn’t do it,” 

“W-Wha—did what?” You were still reeling from the light show when Eddie had death gripped himself to your waist. You tried stringing together thoughts as he sobbed harder into your chest. 

“I didn’t do it, I didn’t do it, I didn’t do it to her I swear to God I didn’t,” he whimpered over and over into your chest.

“Wha…Eddie, what are you on?” You furrowed your eyebrows as he quickly dropped his arms.

“What? Nothing!” Eddie suddenly became very defensive. “I am completely sober, that’s why I KNOW I didn’t do anything–” 

“Bullshit,” you rolled your eyes as you peeled him off you, standing up and dusting yourself off. “You’re clearly having hallucinations,” 

“Babe, I swear I’m not–” He started to protest. 

“No,” you stopped him dead in his words. “NOT babe. Not your babe, not anybody’s babe,” 

“....Y/N,” He momentarily rolled his eyes. “Look I swear to God, it’s real. But I don’t want you to—”

“Look?” you finished for him in a snarky tone. “Right, because there won’t be anything there, and then I’ll know you’re full of shit, and are just having a really bad K trip,” 

“I am NOT tripping on anything, Y/N,” Eddie grabbed your shoulders with both of his hands. “But I— you— I can’t– if you see that girl, you’re gonna think I’m–” 

“Eddie, I really can’t see thinking any less of you than I already do, so I think I’m good,” You laughed sarcastically. 

“No, but–” 

Before he could stop you, you were opening the front door and walking inside the trailer. And you were not prepared in the least for what greeted you. 

A girl, not much younger than you, laid on the floor in front of you. Not really laying, sprawled. Her legs and arms were broken, her neck was crooked. Her eyes had been inverted inside her head.

You didn’t scream, surprisingly. You didn’t freak out, or burst into tears. You simply just stared at the girl for what seemed like forever, studying her disfigured corpse. 

“...Y-Y-Y/N?” You heard Eddie’s feeble cries from outside the trailer. He sounded so much different than he had just a few hours ago. 

You stepped out of the trailer slowly, almost as if in a trance. You looked at Eddie who was now shivering in fear next to his car. He looked so broken, so small. Not the Eddie Munson you were so used to, with his brazen tone and that 100-watt smile that you’d never admit in a million years you missed while looking out a rainy University window in Chicago. 

“I didn’t do that to her Y/N, you have to believe me. She–” His blubbering was stifled by your hand over his mouth. 

“I believe you, Eddie,” You said in a soft, calming voice. 

“Y-You do?” He whimpered from under your hand, causing you to remove it. 

“Yes, but we can’t stay here. There’s no way nobody didn’t hear any of that,” you warned him, looking around in every direction.

“But where are we gonna go? What are we gonna do? What am I gonna do? Chrissy, she was just here trying to–” Eddie began to unravel once more, his words falling back into heavy breaths and choked sobs. 

“Eddie, get in my car,” you said very strictly. 

“Your car? What about my car? I can’t–” He whined.

“Eddie,” you shook him furiously, trying to snap him out of it. “You live here. There’s a logical reason for your car to be here. Besides, if they, and they will, think you did this, they’ll be looking for your car. They won’t be looking for mine. So again, GO GET IN MY CAR, okay?”

“......O-Okay,” Eddie nodded feebishly, wiping sniffling tears into his jacket as he scurried towards your car and got in the passenger's side. 

You took one last long moment thinking about Chrissy the pretzel just lying in there, bleeding all over Eddie’s carpet. There was something absolutely insane, and yet weirdly familiar about all of this. 

You finally shook the feeling off of your shoulders and followed Eddie’s trail back to your car, getting in the driver’s seat and slamming the door shut. You looked over at Eddie who was continuing to shake and sob, clearly traumatized from the events of the last few minutes. 

You’d never seen him like this, ever. Not at any point in however long you had known him. And you hated every second of it. 

“Eddie,” you placed a hand on the back of his quivering mane, stroking it gently. You just wanted him to stop crying, for even a minute. 

“Just drive,” Eddie pleaded, jerking away from your hand. He didn’t feel worthy of being comforted right now, especially not by you. 

“Okay,” you shrugged unnervingly, starting the car and peeling out of the trailer park into the night. 

This was certainly not how you wanted your Spring Break to start.

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[storiesofsvu]

Jealous Rafael Barba Headcanons

Requested by lawandordersvu1234​

*Also this kinda low-key turned into a lil baby story but, I just rolled with it…**

Rafael does his best not to get jealous, but honestly, once he started dating you, it became something that was beyond easy to do, especially since you were still keeping it on the down low from the rest of the squad. In the back of his mind he’s already a little insecure about the entire situation, you’re younger, he’s been basically married to his work for the past decade, leaving little time for romance and sometimes he feels like he’s completely forgotten how to go about it.

You’re out celebrating a win on a case with the squad, first it’s the way the bartender’s gaze lingers down your blouse while you’re leaning against the bar waiting for a drink, it’s the way you laugh loudly at something Carisi’s saying, a glimmer in your eyes usually reserved for Rafael, the bright smile remaining on your face as you listen to the crappy story Rollin’s is telling. Rafael’s jaw is clenched, he’s stoically quiet, staring off into the distance or into his scotch, knuckles nearly white at how tight he’s grasping the glass.

Fin nudges him, asking what’s up, that he won the case, should be happy, Rafael grunts in response, tossing back the rest of his drink as he watches you and Amanda disappear to the bathroom. He doesn’t know why it seems you always look so much happier around the squad, you’re always laughing your way through conversations with Amanda, and tonight it’s really rubbing him the wrong way.

When you get back to the table and notice the lack of his jacket you quirk a brow to Olivia since she’s the only one that knows you’re together, she simply nods her head sideways towards the door. You roll your eyes, not wanting to arise suspicions by leaving right after him, choosing to stay for another round, shooting him off a text that he never replies to.

You call it a night, heading to his apartment instead of yours, his face softens into confusion at the sight of you at his door, asking why you’re there. You retort with asking why he left both early and without saying goodbye.

He lets you into his apartment, settling into the couch with you, fresh glass of scotch in both of your hands.You let him stew over his thoughts for a bit, leaning in to kiss his cheek gently, reminding him that you’re still waiting for a reply. Giving out a hefty sigh he mentions that he was jealous, which you can’t help but laugh quietly at, “of what?”

Rafael brings up how you seem to be having so much more fun with the squad, that your smile is brighter around Carisi, he brings up the age difference, and you let him get it all out, a warm smile on your face, hand holding his.

You mention that you’re more outgoing with the squad and reserved around him because you’re relaxed, at a sense of peace when it’s just the two of you, that you don’t have to keep the energy up, keep the jokes flowing to break down walls. When you’re with him, you can actually be yourself, you’re comfortable with him, the silence, only having to communicate through touch, a look in the eye, a slight smirk of the lips is all you need to express how you’re feeling. 

It’s then that he realizes it, the softness of you isn’t a lack of feeling happy around him, it’s love. It’s the love wrapping around the two of you, holding you closer and tighter than he could ever have imagined. He feels like an idiot for the entire thing, apologizing to you that your easily accept.

You lean into him, cupping his face in your hand as you gently kiss him, lips moving with ease, heart fluttering in your chest when you stare into those emerald eyes, “You’ve got nothing to worry about silly, I’m in love with you.”

[bi-bard]

God Forbid You Leave Me Like All the Rest Did - Rafael Barba Imagine (Law & Order: S.V.U)

Title: God Forbid You Leave Me Like All the Rest Did

Pairing: Rafael Barba X Reader

Based On: Tissues

Word Count: 539 words

Warning(s): mention of insecurity

Summary: Rafael's known confidence seems to lead to wires getting crossed with an S.V.U detective. However, is it possible that the confusion isn't as much confusion as it is hesitance?

Author's Note: I... I don't really know. I just think he's neat.

Also, this went through like four different forms because I didn't know how to write it.

YUNGBLUD WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

------------------------

Rafael and I didn't usually get a lot of slow mornings.

They were usually rushed. Maybe breakfast together before I went running around to get ready. My schedule tended to be a little less fixed than his. He tended to have more time in the morning to get through his normal business.

And then I was told to use my vacation days. No, I didn't choose to. I was told to. I made Rollins promise to call me if they needed help.

I wasn't complaining completely. It was quite nice to wake up and not sprint away.

"Morning," Rafael grumbled. I grinned, mumbling the word back to him. "Wow, you're not running out of the room. It's a miracle."

"Don't be an ass," I muttered back.

He chuckled.

He had moved to lay on his side, arm wrapped around my torso. My arm slid under his head so I could mess with the hair on the nape of his neck.

He leaned forward, kissing me gently.

I let out a quiet sigh. "I can't believe I used to think you were just flirting with me for fun."

"What," he asked.

"Yeah," I replied. "I used to think that you flirted with me because it was just fun for you."

He furrowed his eyebrows at me.

"Well, listen," I scooted over so I could make sure that I was looking him in the eye. "I... I had a shitty time with people flirting with me. Either they were joking around or they were just assholes. So, when you started, my mind started at the same people. Entertaining anything else felt... silly."

I felt like I watched his heart drop.

"I just felt like a lovesick teenager," I shrugged. "I just assumed that I would end up hurt, so I didn't say anything about it."

"I never knew that," he said. "I never knew you thought any of that."

"Hey, hey," I cupped his face. "It worked out in the end, right? You... You asked me out for drinks and... and we're happy together."

"I could've done so much more," he muttered. "I... I waited for so long because I thought that you would be uncomfortable with it. I didn't want to cross any lines."

"I know," I nodded. "You told me that."

He nodded back.

There was a pause between us.

"You don't still think like that, do you," Rafael asked quietly.

I shrugged. "Sometimes, I guess. It's just anxiety. I can usually deal with it on my own."

"But you shouldn't have to," he replied.

He leaned over and pressed his lips to mine before I could argue with him. I slowly kissed him back. He pulled away a few moments later.

"Will you please talk to me when that happens," he asked. "Please."

I nodded. "I will."

"Thank you."

I leaned over and kissed his cheek. "You have to get ready for work."

He groaned.

"Hey, it's my turn to watch you run around the apartment, now get going."

He kissed my forehead before pushing himself out of bed. I waited until he was down the hall a little bit before calling out to him.

"Barba!"

"Yeah?"

"Love you!"

I heard him laugh. "Love you too!"

"I know!"

------------------------

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[thelemontree]

Muscle Memory (Rafael Barba x Reader)

Paring: Rafael Barba x f!Reader

Summary: You hadn't seen Rafael in nearly three years. When he left—and shattered your heart in the process—you didn't think you'd ever recover. But now, just as you finally starting to feel like you might be okay, he waltzes right back into the SVU precinct, into your life, and fucks everything up.

Word count: 5.3k

Warnings: angst with a happy ending, explicit language, canon typical rape mention (off-screen, no details), breakups + makeups, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, p in v sex, praise + dirty talk, mentions of a sex toy

A/N: Rafael Barba my beloved <3 my first SVU fic after being a long time reader! I love this show and I love Barba. Takes place during the episode "Sightless in a Savage Land." (Rafael Barba + a beard = my untimely death.) I was listening to Muscle Memory by Lights when I got the idea for this, so it's very loosely based on that song. Anyways, enjoy, and be prepared for more SVU fics in the future bc I am deep in that rabbit hole hehe.

The last time you ever saw or spoke to Rafael Barba was nearly three years ago, when he decided to leave both the DA’s office and New York City. And, in turn, you.

He asked you to go with him—begged you, really. Told you he loved you and couldn’t see a life without you. After years of casual flirting and simmering tension, you both realized how badly you wanted—no, needed—each other. At that point, you had been together for almost a year and you were completely, head-over-heels in love with him. You wanted to go with him, but you couldn’t leave your job at SVU and your life behind. As much as it hurt, you told him no. An explosive fight ensued and you both said things you’d later come to regret, but in the moment you were both too hurt to care. He stormed out of your apartment and slammed your front door behind him, leaving you a sobbing mess in your living room.

It took time, a whole lot of effort, and a little bit of booze along the way, but now you felt like you were finally in a good place. You were back to cracking jokes with Carisi, going out for girls' nights with Liv and Amanda, and Kat, the SVU newbie, even got you to consider starting to date again. You still missed Rafael, but the hurt had dulled over time, and you found yourself wanting to move on, once and for all.

All of that came crashing down, though, when you walked into work one morning and came face-to-face with Rafael, exiting Olivia’s office. When you saw each other, you couldn’t help the pained gasp that you let out. Hot tears started to well in your eyes at the soft look he gave you. The whole precinct seemed to come to a standstill—Amanda looked at you from her desk, concern etched on her face; Olivia looked a little guilty; Fin looked like he was waiting for a bomb to go off; and Kat’s eyes moved between you and Rafael, her brows drawn together in confusion before she finally realized what was happening.

Rafael breathed your name out in a pained whisper, and that’s all it took to break you out of your reverie. Before he could say anything else, you squared your shoulders and walked straight past him to your desk. You didn’t say a word to anybody as you got to work, focused solely on not letting yourself cry in front of everybody—especially him. You could feel everyone’s eyes on you and it made you want to scream.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Olivia place a hand on Rafael’s shoulder. She said something to him, her voice too quiet for you to know what it was, and he nodded his head solemnly. He looked over at you for a moment before he went to the elevators. Olivia turned to her squad of detectives, who were all still stunned from the quiet scene that just unfolded. With a small sigh, Olivia clapped her hands together, bringing everyone to attention.

“Back to work, everybody. We’ve got lives to save and people to protect.”

Reluctantly, your fellow detectives turned back to their work, but you could still feel their occasional glances your way. As Olivia walked past your desk to her office, she stopped and put a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“Want to come into my office for a minute, detective?”

You followed Olivia into her office, plopping down on her couch as she closed the door. You sighed, running your hands over your face. The tears were still threatening to fall from your eyes, and you did everything you could to will them back inside your tear ducts.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t expecting him to show up like that,” Olivia said, her voice apologetic. You looked at her and offered her a tired smile.

“It’s fine, Liv. I just… Was not prepared to see him again, not like this. Everything just came flooding back and hit me all at once,” you replied. “Why was he even here, anyway?”

Olivia sighed and shook her head. “When I heard he was in town, I asked him to meet up for coffee and may have suggested that he talk with Mickey Davis, just to hear his story and see if there was any way he could help him out. I didn’t think he’d take Mickey on as a client.”

You rolled your eyes at that. Rafael taking Mickey on as a client didn’t surprise you in the slightest. You didn’t blame the guy for killing his teenage daughter’s abuser—you probably would have done the same thing if you were in his position. And if you were in Rafael’s position, you would’ve been lined up to defend Mickey, too. But hearing Olivia say she didn’t expect him to take Mickey on did surprise you—she knew Rafael as well as you did and that he couldn’t just walk away from this once she brought him into it.

You weren’t mad at her, though. Just because you and Rafael had a rough break-up didn’t mean everyone else had to cut him out of their lives. You knew Olivia just wanted to help Mickey the best way she could, and you’d be damned if you didn’t agree that Rafael would be his best shot.

“Well, that makes sense, I guess. Can’t say I’m surprised,” you huffed. “At least I wasn’t on that case. Minimizes my interactions with him.”

Olivia chuckled. “Yeah, I guess there’s that bright side.”

You stood from her couch and gave her a small smile. You could tell she had more apologies in her, knowing how hard it must’ve been for you to see him so out-of-the-blue, but you waved her off before she could start. “Don’t worry about me, Liv. I’ll be fine. And I’m not mad. Honestly, if things were different, I probably would’ve gone to Rafael, too.”

You walked out of Olivia’s office and were relieved to find that everyone had returned to work as normal. Amanda looked up at you and gave you a reassuring smile, letting you know she was there for you if needed anything. Over the years, you and her had become two peas in a pod, and you were grateful to have a friend and a partner in her. You sat down at your desk and got to work going through your case files.

Your desk phone rang and you answered it, “Detective L/N, Manhattan Special Victims Unit.”

And now your work for the day has really begun.

***

You were dead on your feet by the time you got home. You and Amanda had picked up a new case—a rape victim found in Central Park—and spent a majority of the day working on that. Neither of you had gotten very far on it, which wasn’t unusual, but you always felt a little defeated when you went home at the end of the day with little to show.

When you stepped into your apartment, all you wanted was to take a hot shower, order take-out, and crash. After putting all your stuff away, you walked into your kitchen and pulled out the take-out menu for your favorite Chinese place. As you scanned the menu and thought about what you were going to order, there was a knock at your door. You looked up and scrunched your eyebrows together—you weren’t expecting company, and none of your friends were the type to just show up to your place unannounced, especially on a weeknight. With a sigh, you set the menu down on your counter and walked over to your front door. You looked through the peephole and took a surprised step back when you saw who was on the other side.

Rafael.

You stood there for a few moments, staring at your front door, too shocked that he was at your apartment to do anything. He knocked again, this time a little more insistently, and said, “I know you’re inside, Y/N. Please open the door.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. When you opened them, you lifted shaky hands to the locks on the door and undid them, slowly pulling it open. Without the hustle and bustle of the police precinct and the surprise of running into him at work, you could stand there and take him in. He looked different—a little bit older, a little bit grayer—but just as handsome as the last time you saw him. There was a pang of sadness in your chest. You were reminded then, standing in your doorway and just staring at each other, how much you still missed him.

“Hi,” he said lamely, breaking the silence. He looked just as nervous as you did, a hesitant smile visible behind his full beard. (You took note of his new feature a little ruefully—you had wanted him to grow out his facial hair, but he always told you, saying beards made him too itchy.) You stood there and stared at him for a second more before replying.

“Hi.”

Before, conversation always flowed so easily between the two of you. You hadn’t realized how much of a chatterbox Rafael was until you started dating, but you found it endearing. You liked hearing him talk about the things he was passionate about. Now, the uncomfortable silence felt so foreign, and it made you fidget.

“I, uh, I don’t know why I came here, to be honest,” Rafael said, clearing his throat. “After seeing you this morning, I just… I don’t know. I wanted to see you again.”

You felt your resolve start to crumble. You’d spent so much time trying to get over him, trying to move on with your life, and just when you felt like you were starting to get somewhere, he shows up out of the blue and wrecks it all. You wanted nothing more than to drag him into your apartment and pretend like the past three years hadn’t happened, that you were back to where you were before you broke each other’s heart.

Rafael must have taken your silence as disinterest rather than being at war with yourself internally. He sighed and shook his head, making to turn around and leave. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just shown up like this. I’m going to go.”

You felt panic rise up in you at the thought of him leaving again and before you could stop yourself, you said, “Wait! Don’t go. Come inside. Please.”

Rafael looked at you, surprise etched on your face. He hadn’t expected you to invite him in so suddenly, but he wasn’t about to let the opportunity to talk to you slip from his fingers. He nodded and stepped into your apartment. You closed the door and slipped the locks back into place before joining Rafael in the living room.

You cleared your throat and gestured to the couch. “You can, uh, sit down, if you want to.”

“Yeah, okay. Sure. Thanks.”

Rafael took a seat at the end of your couch and you moved to sit on the opposite end of it. Now that he was inside of your apartment, you didn’t know what to do, what to say. You hated how awkward and uncomfortable the air surrounding you two felt.

“I’m sorry,” Rafael blurted out after another few minutes of silence. He turned on the couch to face you, his eyes filled with tears and his face pulled into a grimace. “I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N. I shouldn’t have left you the way that I did. I shouldn’t have stormed out of here and took off without another word. I was an idiot—such a fucking idiot—and I’m so sorry for hurting you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I fucked it all up.”

You scooted closer to him on the couch, taking one of his trembling hands in yours. The tears you had successfully kept at bay all day had started to fall, and you tried to steady your breathing to avoid breaking out into a full on sob. You looked up at him and broke when you saw his tears falling, too.

“Rafael,” your voice broke and you could barely get another word out. Looking back on the fight that ended your relationship, you knew you were both to blame for it. You were both cruel to each other, saying things you didn’t mean but knew would cut the other deeply. You called him selfish and accused him of not truly loving you if he expected you to give up your career just because he gave up his. He said the only thing you were capable of loving was your job and that you were his biggest mistake. It was messy and awful and you wished that you could take that night back.

He lifted his other hand to push your hair behind your ear and cup your cheek. “I still love you, Y/N. I never stopped.”

You couldn’t find the words to express what you were feeling. Instead of trying to articulate everything going on in your brain, you leaned forward and kissed him. You figured that if your words were going to fail you, you could just show him.

Rafael was surprised at the first brush of your lips against his, but he quickly warmed up. He kissed you back with equal fervor, tracing his tongue against your bottom lip. You moaned quietly into his mouth when you opened up and felt the first touch of his tongue against yours. His hand slid into your hair, pulling you even closer against him. You pushed him into the back of the couch and moved to straddle his lap, not once breaking the kiss.

The hand that wasn’t tangled in your hair ghosted up your front, his fingers lightly tracing your skin over your shirt. He took one of your breasts in his hand and squeezed it, grinning into the kiss at the sound of your resulting groan. He wrapped his arm around you, planting his hand in between your shoulder blades so he could pull you flush against him. There was virtually no space between the two of you anymore, and you couldn’t shake just how right it felt to be back in his embrace.

When you finally pulled away to catch your breath, you leaned your forehead against his, your eyes still closed. You breathed in each other’s air, both panting heavily. When you finally opened your eyes, you saw Rafael staring up at you, his eyes a mixture of tenderness and wonder.

“Bedroom?” you asked him shakily. He nodded his agreement, and you reluctantly pulled yourself off of him. When he stood from the couch, he took your hand in his, pulling it up to his lips. He kissed each of your knuckles, looking at you through his lashes the whole time. The moment was both incredibly intimate and arousing. Your heart was practically beating out of your chest, your breaths were coming in short pants, and you were uncomfortably wet. He still knew how to get you riled up.

“Lead the way, cariño.”

You pulled him into your bedroom and once the door was shut behind you, you pulled him into another kiss. It was hot and desperate, all teeth and tongues. He gripped your hips tight enough that you know there’d be fingertip-shaped bruises in the morning. The thought sent a shiver through your body. He remembered how much you liked finding his marks on your body.

The next thing you knew, Rafael was gripping you even tighter as he lifted you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he turned and took the few steps over to your bed. He laid you down gently, settling himself in between your thighs. He ground down into you, and you could feel his hard cock through his slacks, and you broke away to whimper.

Rafael took the opportunity to start peppering kisses over your cheek and jawline. He moved down to your throat, sucking and nipping at the base of it. You gasped at the sensation, your hips bucking up against his, and he groaned against your skin. Even though it’d been years since he last touched you like this, he still knew all the things you liked and all the ways he could unravel you underneath him.

He unbuttoned your shirt, trying to restrain himself from just ripping the damn thing off of you. Once it was gone, he sat up so he could rid himself of his own button-up and undershirt. While he took off his top two layers, you arched your back to reach behind you and unhook your bra, tossing it to the floor. He let out an appreciative groan at the sight of you.

“So fucking beautiful,” he said, his voice hoarse. You leaned down to kiss you again before moving his mouth down to your breasts. He took your left nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it while one of his hands tweaked your other nipple. He laid there for some time, lavishing your tits with attention, moving his mouth from one nipple to the other, his fingers following, while you squirmed and whined underneath him. The scratch of his beard against your skin burned in the best way possible, and you wanted nothing more than to feel it in between your legs.

Rafael must’ve read your mind, because he started to kiss down your stomach, occasionally sucking and biting at the soft skin there. He sat back on his heels to undo the button and pull down the zipper of your pants. You lifted your hips off of the mattress to help him pull them off of you. Once your jeans were gone, Rafael’s head was between your legs, nipping and sucking at the flesh of your thighs. You whimpered at the feeling of his beard scratching your sensitive skin and could feel him smirk against you as squirmed and tried to get closer to his face.

Ghosting his lips over your clothed pussy, he reached up and hooked his thumbs into your panties, slowly pulling them off of you. You could feel his breath against your slick folds and it made you shiver. Rafael looked up at you—his pupils blown wide, lips red and kiss swollen.

“It’s been too long since I’ve had my tongue in this pretty pussy” Rafael said, one of his thumbs running up your slit lightly, stopping just short of your clit. You gasped at the sensation. “Can I taste you, sweet girl? Please, let me taste you.”

“God, Rafa, yes,” you answered, nodding your head enthusiastically. Without missing a beat, Rafael ducked his head, flattening his tongue against you and licking a broad line up your pussy. You let out a broken moan, your hips bucking up, trying to chase his tongue, but he gripped your hips and pressed you down into the bed.

He moved to your clit, sucking it into his mouth as he brought one hand down to tease his fingers through your folds. Slowly, he pushed one finger inside of you and began pumping it in and out languidly. You gasped, throwing your head back into your pillows as your hands sought purchase in his hair. You tugged on the short strands, pulling his face closer to you. He groaned into your pussy, the sound reverberating through your body. He pulled off of your clit with a lewd pop, slipping another finger inside of you. He leaned his cheek against the inside of your thigh, his breath coming out in short pants.

“You feel so good wrapped around my fingers, baby. So tight and wet.” He started to speed up, crooking his fingers and finding your sweet spot right away. “I missed you so much, Y/N. I thought about you, about this, about being back in your arms, every day.”

His words and his fingers were too much. The coil in your belly started to tighten and you were gasping for breath. You couldn’t speak, couldn’t think—all you could do was let out tiny, broken moans and focus on how good Rafael was making you feel.

“You’re close, cariño, I can feel it. Can feel the way your pussy is tightening up. Come for me, Y/N. Come for me, let me feel it, let me see it.”

He took your clit into his mouth and sucked hard at the same time he hit your sweet spot again, and you were done for. You came with a gasp that turned into a long, drawn-out moan as your pussy spasmed around Rafael’s fingers.

Rafael worked you through your orgasm with his fingers, whispering praises into the skin of your thighs. “That’s it, baby, that’s it. Good girl. Such a good girl for me.”

When you finally came down and your breathing evened out, you slowly blinked open your eyes. You looked down to find Rafael staring up at you, his gaze a bit softer than before. His fingers were still inside of you, and as your eyes met his, he slowly pulled them out, smirking at the soft whimper you let out at the slow drag of his fingers.

Rafael kissed his way up the length of your body until he captured your lips with his. He kissed you slowly, taking his time to explore your mouth with his tongue. You wrapped your arms around his back and your legs around his waist, angling your hips upward to brush your bare pussy against his cock, hard and still trapped beneath his slacks. He pulled away from your mouth to hiss at the slight friction. You did it again, smirking as he dropped his face to the crook of your neck and groaned. He nipped at your pulse point, just hard enough to leave a mark that’d last for the rest of the night but be gone before you had to go to work in the morning.

“Rafa,” you breathed out, still softly grinding up against him. “Take your pants off. Want you to fuck me.”

He nodded, his face still buried in your neck and the feeling of his beard against your skin making you shiver. He pulled away and stood from the bed, eyes never leaving yours as he removed his pants and boxer briefs, leaving him bare before you. You took your bottom lip in between your teeth as you openly ogled him. Your pussy clenched at the sight of his cock, just as beautiful as you remembered it. He wasn’t overly long, about average length, but he was on the thicker side and filled you perfectly. When you finally dragged your eyes up back to Rafael’s face, he was looking at you with a smug smirk.

“Like what you see, cariño?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Always.”

Rafael opened the drawer of your bedside table to pull out a condom. He didn’t even ask if you’d moved them, moving on muscle memory. You knew he’d find them, though, because you hadn’t moved them since the last time he pulled one out. There was a new addition to your bedside drawer, though: a purple rabbit vibrator that you bought while drunk, sad, and horny. It was one of your best purchases of the last three years. Before grabbing a condom, Rafael pulled the vibrator out and inspected it with a smirk.

“Hmm, you’ll have to give me a demonstration of how this works one of these days.” Your heart fluttered at the idea of whatever you two had going on right now not being a one-time thing.

He set the vibrator back down in the drawer and pulled out a condom. He joined you back on the bed, giving his cock a couple of strokes before tearing open the little foil packet and rolling the condom onto himself. He leaned down to kiss you, putting some of his weight onto you and pressing you into the mattress. Feeling him on top of you like that was always one of your favorite things.

Rafael pulled away and smiled at you as he grabbed his cock in one hand and guided himself to your entrance. He teased you a little, barely pushing the tip in. He liked watching you squirm underneath him.

“Please, Rafa,” you whined, trying to get him to push into you more. “Please don’t tease me.”

“Shh, cariño,” he soothed, his other hand coming up to stroke the side of your face. You nuzzled your cheek into his hand, turning slightly to press kisses to his palm. “I’ll take care of you, don’t worry. Just be patient.”

Finally, Rafael started to push his cock into you more. He went slowly, relishing the feeling of your walls being wrapped around him again. You both groaned at the feeling. It didn’t just feel good—it felt right. Like you two were missing puzzle pieces, finally locked together. You knew then that you never wanted to let him go again.

When Rafael bottomed out, he crushed his forehead against yours, his eyes scrunched shut. He was breathing heavily, and as much as you wanted him to move, you knew he was trying to hold back. He wasn’t going to last long, but that was okay—neither were you.

“How long?” you asked breathlessly. He sat up a bit, blinking his eyes open. He looked at you, confusion etched on his face.

“Huh?”

You rolled your hips a little and gasped, hoping he got the message. He groaned, dropping onto one of his forearms as his hand gave out. He was panting into your ear, trying to gain a little bit of composure.

“Not since,” he panted, giving his hips an experimental thrust that had you both moaning. “Not since the last time I was with you.”

“Me neither, Rafael. Me neither. I couldn’t do it, not with anybody but you,” you said, grasping his face in your hands and pulling him down to kiss you. He moaned into your mouth, not really trying to kiss you back, but wanting to feel your mouth on his.

Finally, he started to move. At first, his pace was slow—he took his time pulling nearly all the way out before thrusting back in. He liked watching your face when he did this, how your eyebrows would scrunch together and your mouth would fall open in small moans. But soon enough, his resolve began to crack, and he started to pound into you harder, punching the breath from your gut. You ran your fingers through his hair at the back of his head, holding onto dear life.

“Yes, Rafa, just like that,” you moaned, trying to roll your hips to meet his thrusts. “Don’t stop.”

Rafael grunted in response. He dipped his head down to your neck, placing open-mouthed kisses all over your skin. One of his hands snaked down between your bodies, finding your clit with his thumb and rubbing it in small, tight circles. You let out a cry at the sensation, the coil in your belly beginning to wind once again.

“I’m so close, Y/N,” Rafael said into your neck. “Want to feel you come on cock. I need it, baby. Need you to come for me.”

You nodded your head, unable to form any words. There was too much happening—the feeling of Rafael’s cock dragging along your walls, his thumb on your clit, the dirty words he was whispering in your ear.

“Come on, Y/N, I know you’re close. Be a good girl and come on my cock, cariño.”

When one particularly hard thrust had him hitting you just right, you couldn’t hold it back any longer. You came with a loud, broken moan, your back arching off the bed as you nearly ripped Rafael’s hair out. Your pussy clenched Rafael’s cock in a vice as he kept fucking into you, chasing his own orgasm. After two, three more thrusts, he let out a deep, low groan as he came. His hips slowed as he worked you both through your highs.

When you came down, your legs were shaking and you could barely open your eyes. Rafael kissed his way up your neck and across the side of your face until he could capture your lips between his. It was slow and sweet, and you whined as he pulled away. Carefully, Rafael pulled his softening cock out of your pussy, making him hiss and you whimper at the feeling of being empty. Your eyes were still closed, so you didn’t see him get up from the bed and stand on wobbly legs.

You had started to doze off when you felt the cool washcloth start cleaning up in between your legs. It made you jerk awake, your eyes shooting open. Rafael was silent as he cleaned you up and you watched him work. Once he was done, he got up to put the cloth into your hamper and started to pick up his clothes.

Frowning at him, you asked, “what are you doing?”

He looked up at you, a bit of a solemn expression on his face. He looked like he was about to cry. “I was just, uh, getting my clothes together. I don’t know if you want me to stay, and I don’t want to be presumptuous.”

You sighed and used the rest of your energy to sit up. “Come sit with me,” you said softly.

Rafael set his clothes back down on the floor as he sat down next to you on the bed. His hands were fidgeting in his lap and he stared at them. You placed one of your hands on both of his and he looked up at you, eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

“Rafael, I still love you too, you know. I never stopped. When you left…” you huffed out a sigh and a dry chuckle. “I was in hell. I didn’t think I was ever gonna get over you. I never really did, if I’m being honest. Recently I thought I was in more of a better place, but I still missed you. I still wished that I was yours and you were mine. Not going with you has been one of my biggest regrets.”

You thought that hearing how much you still loved him would’ve made Rafael feel better, but you weren’t anticipating the opposite reaction. You didn’t think it was possible for his face to fall even more than it already had.

“Please don’t say that, Y/N. I shouldn’t have asked you to come with me. I shouldn’t have put you in that position. I knew how much you loved your job—how much you still do—and I shouldn’t have asked you to give that all up for me. I don’t want you to regret not coming with me, because I regret not staying here and rebuilding my life with you.”

You leaned into Rafael for a kiss, leaning your forehead against his when you pulled away. The two of you sat like that for a while, content to just be near each other. You had missed this more than anything—just being able to be with him.

“How long are you in New York for?” you asked as you pulled away. Rafael sighed and lifted one of his arms to put around your shoulders. You cuddled into his side, wrapping your arm around him and resting your head on his chest.

“For good. I took a job with the Innocence Project in their New York offices.”

You sat back up to look at him, scanning his face for any indication that he was lying. He wasn’t. Your heart felt like it was going to burst from your chest.

“Are you serious? You’re back for good?”

He nodded, a soft smile on his face. “I am, cariño. And I promise you, I’m not going anywhere this time.”

You knew you both still had a lot to work out and things to settle from the last time you saw each other, but in that moment none of that mattered to you. All you cared about was that the love of your life was back home, back with you, and you felt whole again.

[gi-maeve-rose]

Rafael, however, was more or less pleasantly surprised, smiling with amusement. She was hard to forget, for sure. At first, when he saw her outside, he admittedly thought she was a collar let out on bail. She looked the part, but it was evident that looks could be deceiving. “Actually, I believe we’ve already met,” he mused, eyes never wavering from Valeria.

“You— You have?” Olivia’s brows furrowed, confused.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Thursday, May 12th, 10:02AM

Months of calm in the precinct were far and few between, but they were never unwelcome, especially after the harder cases. It was hard to want to do anything after a bad ending, no matter how many times anyone denied needing any break, but it was only ever apparent in the lack of energy in the squad room. And you just knew it was a rough patch when Carisi wasn’t even cracking any jokes. But as with anything damaged, it would only take time to fix.

And a new face never hurt. It was a little easier to forget the gloom and doom in the squad room when no one was there, but the reality always set in again when they stepped back in, but as Olivia figured, a fresh detective to train and show the ropes should busy everyone enough to keep them out of their own minds.

She stepped just outside of her office, shoulders squared, yet relaxed as she addressed her subordinates. “Hey, guys, I just want to remind you that we have a new body coming in from vice,” she reminded. “I’ll be in a one-on-one meeting with Barba when she comes in, so, Fin, I want you take charge of making sure she settles in comfortably.”

Amanda perked up at the mention of a new detective. Another woman, at that. “It’s about time,” she chirped, shifting her focus from her paperwork. “We’ve been needing more of a woman’s touch around here.”

Fin gave a glare of faux offense from across their desks. “Damn. After all this time together, that’s how you feel?” He was answered with a shrug and a grin, a smirk playing across his face.

“Do we get to know who she is or is it a surprise?” Sonny chimed in.

A blank expression laid over Olivia’s face before it fell into mild frustration and embarrassment. It was clear she needed a break, but knowing her, she wouldn’t take one unless forced. “Yeah, sorry. Her name is Valeria Castillo.”

Fin did a double take, brows raised high in disbelief. “Not that Valeria Castillo, right?”

Olivia nodded with a half grin. “That Valeria Castillo,” she confirmed before retreating back into her office.

Between her lieutenant’s and trusted partner’s knowing reactions of surprise, it was clear that this Valeria person was someone really good, or really bad. Either way, she was someone worth noting. “Wait, who’s Valeria?” Amanda asked curiously, eyes fixed on Fin, but still aware as Sonny approached to join in on conversation.

“Ten years ago, Munch and I took on a DV case,” Fin began to explain. “Sweet girl, twenty-one years old, living with her boyfriend who turned out to be a scumbag. Beat her, raped her, isolated her from friends and family. She only got the courage to report it after her mom was in rehab for the hundredth time and her baby sister had nowhere to go.”

“And she wasn’t about to have that kind’a thing around her baby sister,” Sonny assumed, confirmed by Fin by a nod of his head.

“How did that case go?”

“Smooth sailing. We avoided a trial altogether. She documented everything, left nothing out, her story was consistent. That piece of shit never knew what him.” More admirable was how Valeria now chose to make a career out of making sure other victims got their justice as well. She already fit right in with Olivia and Amanda.

“Wow,” Amanda breathed with a half smile, leaning back in her chair. “Hardened by trauma and vice? Sounds to me like we got a firecracker coming our way.” Not that it bothered her any. The distasteful thought that Valeria’s attitude would be more aimed toward men momentarily crossed her mind.

Sonny nodded, trekking over to pour himself a cup of coffee. “‘Castillo’,” he said aloud. “Sounds Puerto Rican. That might add to that firecracker attitude.”

“Did you just stereotype someone’s attitude based off their ethnicity?” Rafael only managed to catch the tail end of the conversation, mainly Sonny’s remark. “Carisi, I’m surprised at you.” Of course he knew it was only banter and Sonny didn’t mean anything bad by it. Sonny wasn’t exactly the brightest crayon in the box when it came to social propriety, but he was a good man regardless. Rafael just enjoyed busting his chops every once in a while. Seeing the usually overconfident man stutter and stumble over his words to try and save face, he dropped the scowl, letting it morph into a facetiously smug smile. He landed a heavy pat on Carisi’s back once he relaxed a bit before heading off toward Olivia’s office.

Amanda and Fin chuckled under their breaths at the exchange. “Man, you just got the worst luck,” Fin teased. “Always making a fool of yourself in front of your crush.” He laughed just a little bit harder when Sonny flipped him the bird.

•••••••••••••••

10:25AM

She just meant to have one cigarette, but she had another out of spite when that pompous prick in a pressed suit and over-gelled hair went ahead with his unsolicited comment on her first one. ‘You know those are bad for you, right?’ he’d said, flashing Valeria a smug grin. She hoped she didn’t have to work too close to whoever that jackass was.

Valeria smoked her second cigarette all the way to the filter, tossing it into the receptacle some yards away from the front door before she went in herself. Even with nicotine in her system, her nerves were on fire. The smell of the hallways, the sound of the telephones and printers, the uniforms, all brought back every piece, every memory she thought she’d repressed from a decade ago. Each step closer to the squad room admittedly terrified her, but she found a small ray of solace in knowing that Olivia Benson, her saving grace in her leap of faith, remembered her and would be there to guide her as much as she could.

The squad room had changed drastically over the course of ten years. Better tech, new paint job. New detectives. The only one she recognized on the floor was Detective Tutuola. She felt slight relief and comfort, even more so when he caught her standing at the door. “Can I help you?” he asked, standing from his desk.

The quick and frequent swap of emotions flowing through her was enough to give her whiplash. She somehow expect him to recognize her upon first glance, completely forgetting how much time had passed and how much she’d changed herself. Valeria shifted on her feet, clutching the strap of her satchel in one hand while the other drew up to her chest. “I’m the new detective, Valeria,” she introduced herself. “Valeria Castillo.” In case it could jog his memory.

Again, Fin’s eyes widened, brows raised high. She was vastly different from how he remembered her. She use to be skinnier and paler from malnourishment, her hair thin and deep brown, cut to her shoulders. No makeup back then, otherwise her then-boyfriend would accuse her of cheating and beat her senseless. Forced to be conservative.

Now she was what Fin could only assume was her true self. Curvy and tanner, hair long, full, and dyed copper. A tiny stud decorated the left side of her nose, a little hoop on her bottom lip. In addition to the tattoo on her right wrist she’d had when they first met, a sleeve covered her left arm. She was dressed and made up like she was ready for a rock concert. Definitely not your run of the mill detective, but undeniably who she was meant to be.

“Valeria Castillo,” Fin repeated, approaching her with a welcoming smile and open arms. “Damn, girl, I hardly recognized you!” Familiarity. He could sense her nerves right off the bat and wanted to ease them. She was in good company and needed to know that.

Oh, thank fuck. Valeria accepted the hug, letting out a laugh of relief. “You think I’m unrecognizable? You should see Isabella,” she quipped.

Fin pulled back, keeping a comfortable hand on her shoulder. “Ah, Isabella. How is she? She’s, what, twelve now?”

“Thirteen,” she corrected. “And she’s doing great. She’s in eighth grade, a straight-A honor roll student. I became her legal guardian not long after you, Munch, and the others helped me through everything.” Munch. Valeria noticed he wasn’t here. While she held a bit of hope that he was just taking a vacation or came in on his day off, she knew very well the more likely reality that John had retired. But then where was Detective Stabler?

Thoughts and nostalgia were interrupted when Amanda and Sonny made their approach. “Hi, I’m Amanda Rollins,” she introduced herself, extending a friendly hand. “This is Dominick Carisi.”

“But everyone calls me Sonny,” he added, taking Valeria’s hand after Amanda. He always mentally cheered when no one objected to the nickname anymore.

What had Valeria been so nervous for? Olivia told her personally that she would be taken care of, that her and Fin would be there to make sure everything went smoothly. She felt kind of guilty for not trusting in them, but the guilt was washed away by the overwhelming sense of family she felt already. “Nice to meet you guys,” she beamed. “Olivia told me great things about you.” She glanced around momentarily. “Is… Is she here?”

Sonny nodded toward the closed door. “She’s having a chat with our ADA. She should be out in a little bit.” He stepped to the side, a hand gestured toward the empty desk across from him. “Here, why don’t you get settled? Want me to grab you a drink?”

“A water, please.” She set her bag down, looking toward the office, then to Fin. “Wow. So Captain Cragen really did retire.”

Fin nodded slowly with a mildly somber smile. “Yeah, with his girlfriend,” he confirmed, leaning against Valeria’s new desk with his arms crossed over his chest. “We miss the guy every day.”

More glances around the squad room. “What about Sergeant Munch and Detective Stabler?”

“Munch moved on to bigger things. As for Stabler…”

There was a pause. One that made Valeria’s stomach continue to do flips as she feared the worst. “What happened?”

Fin sighed, eyes cast toward the floor for a moment before looking back to her. “We were gonna go to trial for a high-profile rape case, and the victim was set to testify. Unfortunately, she was shot point blank just nights before.”

“The Luke Ronson case.” How could she forget? It was all over the news.

Fin nodded and continued. “We caught everyone involved in that, had them locked up in holding. We brought Jenna Fox, the victim’s daughter, in to see that we caught them, sent her on her way, and we figured that was it, right? Well, Jenna comes back later, pulls out a gun and starts firing into the cell. Next thing any of us know, Elliot fires his, Jenna’s on the ground, and…”

He didn’t have to finish. It was apparent what happened, and it was heavy. She, Amanda, and Sonny weren’t even present for it, but they could still feel the gravity. They couldn’t imagine how Fin felt. How Elliot felt. Silence loomed over the tiny group, Valeria only nodding in thanks as Sonny handed her the bottled water. “I hope he’s okay,” she finally said, voice soft.

“I don’t doubt he is,” Amanda chimed in with gentle optimism, taking her seat by her desk. “But I’ll tell you what, he left some pretty big shoes to fill when he left.”

Sonny huffed with a smile. “Yeah, no kidding. Liv doesn’t talk about him much, but when she does, it’s nothing but high praise there.” And well-deserved.

Valeria chuckled, sipping the water. “Then I guess I can only promise I’ll do my best.”

“Valeria.”

Valeria turned her head toward the voice. She hadn’t heard the office door open as she was caught up in conversation. Seeing Olivia stand there, aged but still such a refined and dignified beauty, a smile that reached her tired eyes brought on by the simple sight of Valeria, alive and well. Warmth swelled in her chest, almost bringing tears to her eyes. “Olivia,” she breathed wistfully, taking a careful step toward her.

Olivia’s smile widened. A decade had undoubtedly changed them both, but the bond their formed within their short time together was unmistakable. She started toward her as well, arms coming out for an embrace. Valeria closed the distance with faster steps, locking Olivia into a hug. After all these years, she still smelled the same. “It’s so good to see you again, Olivia,” Valeria expressed, voice wavering with emotion.

“Oh, it’s good to see you too, honey,” Olivia stated sweetly, squeezing Valeria firmly in her arms before pulling back to look at her. “You’ve grown up so much. How are you? Your sister, your mom?”

She gave a small shrug, a rather indifferent smile as she spoke about the circumstances. “I’m Isabella’s legal guardian now. Ma couldn’t keep herself away from drugs, so I did what I had to do.” And she would do it again.

Olivia nodded in understanding. If there was anything she could understand, it was mommy issues. “Well, I’m glad you found your way after everything. And I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you transferred over here from vice. There is not a single doubt in my mind that you’re going to be a perfect fit here.”

“You might wanna prep her for Barba,” Amanda quipped with a smirk.

Valeria looked between the two, brows furrowed. “Barba?” she wondered.

Olivia rolled her eyes with an equal grin to Amanda’s. “Our ADA, Rafael Barba,” she explained in more detail. “He’s cocky, he’s smug, he’ll push you, push your buttons—“ Valeria grimaced and rolled her eyes, making Olivia laugh. “But he gets the job done. And he’s really good at what he does. You’ll get use to him, I promise.”

Valeria groaned, shoulders slumping. “As long as he’s not on one today. I’ve had my fill of douche bag already.” And it was only noon.

“Someone already pushed your buttons?” Fin probed.

“Yes.” Valeria sighed, dropping her head back. “Some pompous prick saw me smoking outside and made a snarky comment about it not being good for me, like I don’t already know.”

“So what’d you do?”

“I smoked another one out of spite.” Her annoyance melted when her newfound squad laughed, pulling a smile onto her face.

Olivia rubbed a hand on her back. “Well, I can promise he’ll behave today,” she assured with a chuckle. “He seems to be in a good mood and that usually means good moods all around. I’ll introduce you when he finishes up his phone call.” She heard footsteps behind her coming out of her office as if right on cue. “Oh. Here. Valeria, this is Rafael Barba. Counselor, this is the new detective, Valeria Castillo.”

Barely noon, and already Valeria felt probably every emotion known to man. Her good mood was soured, expression morphing from shocked to annoyed beyond a reasonable doubt when she laid eyes upon the ADA.

Rafael, however, was more or less pleasantly surprised, smiling with amusement. She was hard to forget, for sure. At first, when he saw her outside, he admittedly thought she was a collar let out on bail. She looked the part, but it was evident that looks could be deceiving. “Actually, I believe we’ve already met,” he mused, eyes never wavering from Valeria.

“You— You have?” Olivia’s brows furrowed, confused.

“Yeah, the pompous prick,” Valeria reminded of the just had conversation. She stared daggers, her tone sharper and dripping with venomous disdain. She knew things were going too well today. It was only a matter of time before she was pushed off her cloud.

Oh, she had some spice. Rafael was use to it with Olivia. He wondered how much more Valeria had than her, just judging by her current demeanor. His grin grew. “Did you think about what I told you outside?” he asked, smug as ever.

Hands went on her hips to keep them from balling into fists and flying. Valeria’s blood was already boiling. “I did, actually,” she retorted with a wry smile. “And I’ve come to the conclusion that you can take it and shove it up your ass, if you can even get it past the stick you have lodged in there—“

“Okay, alright. Valeria, why don’t you keep getting settled at your desk?” Olivia guided Valeria away, casting a quick glare back toward Rafael. Her eyes bounced between her other detectives with a warning glare as they tried to conceal their shocked laughter. There was that firecracker attitude Amanda aforementioned.

Rafael was smiling wide now. He’d had witnesses and victims say things very similar to him, but never a detective. And rather than setting her straight, he figured he would play into this one. Why? Well, as smart as he was, not even he could tell you. “I look forward to working with you,” Rafael mused, catching her glare just before he turned to leave.

A second set of footsteps joined with his just outside the squad room. “Barba, listen, I know you’ve never done it before, but I’m asking you as a friend and as a lieutenant looking out for my squad to just go easy on Valeria.” She immediately held up a hand to stop Barba from protesting. “I swear I will keep her in line. Just, for now, at least pretend that you’re not always a jerk. For me.”

Rafael slowed to a stop, staring at her with a wondering smile. Now he was all sorts of curious and intrigued. Olivia had asked many things from him, but never a personal ask like this. “Is there some kind of personal history here?” he inquired as he continued to walk at a slower pace.

“In a sense. She came to us ten years ago as a victim. It’s not a long story, but—“

“Send me the case file, I’ll take a look at it.” Chismoso. He couldn’t help it sometimes. “Whatever it is, it won’t interfere with her abilities to work, will it?”

Olivia shook her head emphatically. “Not at all. She was with vice for seven years, they all only ever had good things to say about her.”

Save for the bad attitude, apparently. “Alright.” He pushed the elevator call button, waiting not very long for the doors to open and stepped inside. “On that note, I appreciate you taking the time to see me, Liv. We’ll keep in touch.” They parted with a smile, the elevator doors closing.

On the short ride down, Rafael found himself thinking an awful lot about Valeria. She looked so familiar, the name only adding to it. He swore he knew her somehow, it was right there in that blind spot of his mind. Yet he just couldn’t place her. All that came back around was her sneer and smartass remark, still bringing an amused grin to his face.