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seeingivy · 2 months ago

Text

deja vu

phd!eren x f!reader

**part of my canary mate fic

previous part linked here

[busstopbilly]: You’re quiet today.

[lizontopoftheworld]: ruminating.

[busstopbilly]: About?

[lizontopoftheworld]: marriage.

[busstopbilly]: ???

[busstopbilly]: About the institution of marriage or of your marriage? Or someone else’s marriage?

[busstopbilly]: Or your marriage to me.

[lizontopoftheworld]: so inquisitive today.

[busstopbilly]: We should make one of those deals where once we turn thirty and we’re both not married, we should just bite the bullet and marry each other.

[lizontopoftheworld]: deal!

[busstopbilly]: How far away are you from thirty?

[busstopbilly]: :D

[lizontopoftheworld]: you’re funny

[busstopbilly]: You seem low energy today. Marriage really has you that down?

[lizontopoftheworld]: sorry. i’ve just been rotting since last night. in the mental space if that makes sense.

[busstopbilly]: It makes sense.

[busstopbilly]: Any catalyst to said rotting?

[lizontopoftheworld]: overbearing mother

[busstopbilly]: Classic. She should meet my dad.

[lizonotopoftheworld]: they’d have a joint meltdown.

[lizontopoftheworld]: i just don't understand where people find people.

[lizontopoftheworld]: like how is that PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE

[lizontopoftheworld]: like what are the odds that you like someone at the the same time that they like you

[lizontopoftheworld]: liking someone that you stay together for like…for like years. since highschool.

[lizontopoftheworld]: so many people cheat on other people. or stop liking them. hell, people just get bored of each other!

[lizontopoftheworld]: i do not understand how it happens for other people.

[lizontopoftheworld]: it’s just not fair.

[lizontopoftheworld]: i get that it happens for other people but why doesn’t it happen for me? every person i know has been romantically involved with someone and i…i’ve never even gotten close to that

[lizontopoftheworld]: the only person that flirts with me is you. you don’t even know what i look like. and you know. weird guys with small dicks do too but that raerely counts.

[busstopbilly]: I think chemistry is a big part of it. There are certain people that you just tend to feel close and connected to. Sometimes from the first time that you talk. While it does feel rare to you right now, because you’ve never felt it, think of it as a sampling issue.

[busstopbilly]: You just haven’t been around someone who has warranted that out of you yet. But it is physically possible and it will happen for you. I know how annoying it sounds, but it sneaks up under your nose when you’re least expecting it.

[busstopbilly]: People cheat. But people also don’t cheat. I’ve been talking to you for nine months and have yet to get bored. It’s less likely to happen to you - speaking from experience – because talking to you is my favorite part of the day.

[busstopbilly]: Take a breath. It’ll be okay.

[busstopbilly]: If it makes you feel any better, I have the romantic capabilities of a teaspoon. The last time I took a girl on a date was in the sixth grade.

eren calls your name three times. three times before he comes up with the only thing that he can think of, which is poking the side of your temple to get your attention.

but he can’t help it. he takes the few seconds to observe you in full, from so close, because he’s never really gotten the chance. he counts four glittering earrings hanging from your lobe, perfectly matched to your outfit.

eren wonders if that many piercings are uncomfortable. if you matched them on purpose. but retracts the need to ask you that.

eren also observes that you’re particularly tense. that you’re slouching and scrunching up your shoulders up to your neck, that you frown while you’re typing, and that at the very least, you have eyebags that you’re not bothered enough to cover up.

the music blaring through your headphones is obscenely loud. if he’s hearing right, you have an eerily similar music taste to his little sister's favorite pop artists, which he decides is entirely on brand for you.

eren reaches forward, lightly tapping on the side of your temple to get your attention.

he notes that you seem extremely disoriented by the gesture, the loud music blaring through your earphones – which he was positive was going to give you premature tinnitus – ceasing as you pull them out and glare at him.

he also can’t help but notice that you’re looking at him with an insane amount of disdain. granted, almost every time you did look at him you were looking with disdain, but it was…almost amplified today.

he can’t help but notice that he’s too observant when it comes to looking at you. that there’s so much to notice, mainly because he feels like there’s an absence of information that he’s working with as a baseline.

eren’s final conclusion was that you were too reserved. or too reserved when it came to him.

increasingly so, he’s reminded that this is how he had always felt around you. that more apparently, he keeps being reminded it with all the time he’s spending you and it’s irritating to him.

“can i help you?” you ask.

“lab lunch. i just picked it up.” eren offers.

you bite at the side of your lip.

“i love to eat my food cold. i’ll eat it in an hour.” you respond.

eren leans forward, resting his arms on the top of your cubicle as he peers over to the screen of your laptop. he notes that you have three tabs open – two of which were abstracts that you were writing for the upcoming conference – and the last being facebook.

eren wants to observe more. only because he’d rather do that than hear sasha prattle on for the entire lunch.

“you know, levi’s going to come up here to get you anyways.” eren states.

you flare your nostrils, before looking back up at him and glaring.

“well, he can spare himself the trouble. i’m not hungry. and i’m not in the mood for whatever the hell you’re trying to do either.”

eren rolls his eyes.

“did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed?” eren asks.

you seethe.

“no. i was having a particularly great day before you showed up, actually.”

“it’s my week to pick up the food. meaning, that when you don’t come down, they’re going to blame me and send me back up here. how about you spare me the trouble and just come?” eren asks.

you roll your eyes, slamming the computer shut and giving him an exasperated gesture, and stand up. eren gives you an agreeable smile, the two of you walking in tandem down the steps.

the lunch room is pleasantly quiet, something that you know won’t last for long – and something that wouldn’t help the pulsating feeling that’s been thrumming in your forehead – as you walk over to the table.

you settle for the seat in between levi and gabi, and unfortunately, the one that’s annoyingly across from eren. but today was the day to make that type of sacrifice, because there was no way you would be able to stand the conversation you were positive was going to happen at the end of the table.

“hi y/n.” gabi states.

you give her a halfhearted smile.

“hi gabs. how are you doing?” you ask.

“good, good. how are you? i heard you very intensely smacking on your computer earlier.”

you laugh.

“i’ve just been trying to finish up the grant and abstract submissions for the conference. it’s not that i necessarily hate it, but…writing is the most difficult part of the whole research process for me.” you respond.

gabi gives you a nod, carefully peeling through the wrapping on her sandwich as you follow her suit. eren notes that she shoots falco a look across the way and he shakes his head in response to whatever he’s referring to.

it’s hard enough to keep up when they speak in their weird slang and tongues. now eren had to read their facial expressions too?

“i hate writing too.” falco states.

“no one asked you, falco. i was talking to y/n.” gabi scolds.

falco shoots her an irritated look, one that she returns right back, as you demolish the paper that’s wrapping your sandwich. it tears easily, into small slivers of paper that you fumble with in your fingers.

“you know. you should ask eren for help with that. he’s really good at that type of thing.” gabi offers.

you and eren shoot each other a cautionary look, before the two of you shake your heads.

“i wouldn’t want to impose.” you state.

“i’m very busy, gabi. with all the extra analysis that you asked me to do. stop offering up my time like it’s your own.” eren mutters.

gabi gives him a peachy smile.

“what if i say please?” gabi jokes.

eren glares at her. but you can tell that deep down, he’s amused by her antics. you wonder what she sees in him as a mentor. especially when he does such little mentoring.

“no.” eren responds.

“you might need the help, you know.” falco murmurs.

you pinch your eyes at him.

“you might need it too, sweetheart. you misspell brain as brian every time you write it in your proposal.”

gabi snickers at your side.

“and you misspelled your own name on your application. you’re not one to laugh.” levi murmurs.

eren wonders how much falco and levi must know about you. that naturally, you had to be the type of person to share with those that you actually liked, because most people were, and that they were both probably sitting on stories and stories of information.

like the fact that you misspelled your name in your application.

“you know, that might actually be a good idea.” levi states.

��what? hanging falco at the stake?” you ask.

“i second that.” gabi adds.

“i mean, your writing could use a second pair of eyes. eren’s good at that type of thing to my understanding. and i’ve heard, maybe more times than i’ve liked, that eren’s machine learning algorithm could use some help too, so you two should just get together and work it out.” levi clarifies.

you pinch your lips into a straight line.

“some classical teamwork. what a great idea, levi!” hange states.

“don’t kiss up.” levi responds.

“i really don’t think that’s necessary, levi. i’m sure i can figure it out on my own.”

levi narrows his eyes.

“well, i’m fairly positive you can figure it out on your own. i just don’t see the point of flailing uselessly when there is someone who can help you.” levi asks.

the criticism stings. and it’s one that he offers to you often – that you’re chronically incapable of asking those around you for help. it was a natural state of mind, for you to reason through the thing on your own than rely on other people.

you hate group projects. you prefer when you can control the entire thing from the get go to make sure that it’s up to your standards. and it’s difficult to reconcile with people when you’re not that good at being a people’s person.

in hindsight, your choice of career feels rather ironic.

“i mean, yes but…”

“then you should do it. it’s pretty competitive, especially when you apply under applied neuroscience. it gives you a better chancel.” levi offers.

you sigh, sinking into the divot of your chair, as you look over at eren.

“do you have time on wednesdays?” you ask.

eren pinches his lips into a line.

“sure. we can do the morning.” eren responds, tone gritting through his teeth.

it’s right at that moment that you want to sink into the hole for real and crawl back upstairs to the safety of your cubicle. that you’d have to work with him again, that he’d rip every last typo that you made to shred, and your project in shambles.

it gets worse. because it’s right when sasha, mikasa, and connie prance in, excited voices ringing out into the previous almost silent ambiance of the room.

“maybe we’ll get married in the fall. i’ve always loved fall weddings.” sasha states.

“that would be beautiful. especially with the leaves changing colors and everything.” mikasa responds.

“you always pegged me for a summer wedding type of person. like full open bar, open buffet type situation.” connie offers.

sasha shoots him a glare, his alternate intentions apparently obvious, as she takes the seat four down from you. it’s not far enough because you can still see the sparkling, glittering diamond that’s decorating her ring finger – and at the current moment – it feels like it’s mocking you.

“sasha. congratulations on your engagement. niccolo is a lucky man!”

“thank you so much, erwin. i can’t wait for all of you to meet him at the fall social.”

erwin gives her a polite smile.

“we’ll all be looking forward to it.”

maybe everyone except for you.

in theory, the fall social was a mix of everything that you liked. free food, time to network with people in other departments of the phd programs, and brownie points for making levi look good in front of all of the department heads.

but on paper, it was the worst. because the food was always horrible, the people in the other departments were there looking for casual hookups, and brownie points simply weren’t the trouble.

it also didn’t help that everyone who did have a partner brought them to the event. and all that did was make you think of the seven texts that were lingering in your phone from your mom – a barrage of texts about potential guys who she wanted you talk to, serious questions about when you were going to stop fooling around and settle down.

it was unbearable. you were planning to miraculously get food poisoning the weekend that it was happening.

“i personally hate the fall social.” eren states.

“well, you’ll still be expected to go, eren.” hange retorts.

“so i can make you look good?” eren asks.

hange gives him a full smile.

“preciesly. you can suck it to that idiot in the psychology department.”

“you know. there’s significant overlap between psychology and neuroscience. you would do well to get alone with the people in that department, hange.” erwin states.

hange glares at erwin.

“there’s significant overlap between my irritation and all the people in their department. they’re insufferable. they compromise their data quality all the time.”

“while i’m less inclined to feel murderous at the sight of their presence, i would have to agree. they’re particularly dismissive when valid criticism to their research design and the papers that they publish. i would love to have a word with the peer reviewers.”

eren smiles right back at hange.

“so you want me to go there and brag?” eren asks.

“precisely.” hange responds.

“have you guys ever been to a wedding?” sasha asks.

there goes your three seconds of distraction.

there’s a mixed set of answers. erwin’s been too far too many, levi’s only been to his own. it’s one of the three facts that you’ve been able to categorize about his personal life – that he’s married, that he has two kids, and that he likes to try different brews of tea in his free time. he was the private sort.

connie only attends weddings that have free bars, mikasa’s dreamed about going to one her entire life, and jean, instead of offering the question, chose to make a dig at mikasa and told her that they could go get married right now if she wanted to go that bad.

“have you ever been to a wedding, y/n?”

you nod.

“my brother. he got married a few years back.”

“how much older is he than you?” connie asks.

you shake your head.

“he’s younger.” you respond.

“and he got married before you?” sasha asks.

she was a little traditional in that sense. traditional was a nice word for blunt. because she could rarely stop herself from asking the questions that came to her head and, most of the time, it felt like she never even considered how the other person might feel.

though you suppose she wouldn’t be able to understand, because she was the exact same as porco.

“he’s like you and niccolo, sash. he’s been with his girlfriend since highschool.”

“aw. that’s so sweet. when did they get married?”

“spring. the weather was just right.” you offer.

the last person left to answer is eren. you all turn your heads to him expectantly and he shrugs in response.

“i don’t know anyone who’s gotten married.” eren states.

“you haven’t even gone as someone’s date?” hange asks.

eren shakes his head.

“the last time i went on a date with someone was when i was in the sixth grade.”

“do you think that i could get into the program this time around?” mikasa asks.

“i don’t see why not.” eren offers.

eren thinks about the turn of events often. it’s something that always sticks with him, especially when he’s feeling particularly self destructive and stuck on what’s happening in the present.

the butterfly effect. the timeline. where things went wrong.

everything that lead him to having a painfully awkward conversation with mikasa about whether or not she would be able to get accepted in this round of phd students.

it’s simple. last year, seven students applied and six got in. at the last hour, levi decided that he’s going to reject mikasa and accept you.

at the very least, that’s what eren suspects. there was a preference for students who wer ein the bridge program. five of the students from the bridge program made up the program and there was only one person who was an outsider.

you.

sometimes eren thinks that he’s the only one who realizes that. that even in your honesty, you felt bad for mikasa, but hadn’t done the math to realize that you were the reason that she didn’t get it.

“have you talked to levi about why you weren’t accepted the first time?” eren asks.

mikasa shakes her head.

“it’s an awkward position. to ask him why he didn’t accept me in this round, especially since we interviewed together and all.”

“take it as constructive criticism. he’s only going to give you advice to help you the second time around. and you already meet with him on the project that you’re doing with sasha, so i don’t see why you couldn’t ask.”

mikasa sighs.

“eren. do you think i’m cut out to do this type of thing?” mikasa asks.

“do you even want to do this type of thing?” eren asks.

“what do you mean?”

eren sighs.

“there’s a lot to consider when you decide you’re going to jump into this thing. do you really like your field – enough to be doing it…basically forever? to some extent, you should like the people, especially in a field like ours. research is great, but at the same time, there’s only five to six people on…on the planet who are interested in what you are and adding to what you do.”

that’s precisely what eren hated about it. that it was so limiting, so restrictive when it came to the amount of people he touched.

eren could understand that knowledge touched people. that tangibly, his dad’s name would be in a textbook somewhere forever. but that’s as far as it went. a name that some irritated undergrad would have to memorize for a midterm but that was it.

it might not be something legendary, for years to come. but if he got to do what he wanted, he would at least make a difference where it mattered.

right now.

“do you think that i’m not cut out to do this?” mikasa asks.

“no, i do. i just want you to think about why you want to do it. that’ll help you a lot with what you’re struggling with right now.”

mikasa’s eye twitches.

“so you do think that i’m struggling somewhere?”

eren curses his penchant for being blunt all the time. it seemed that it was often something that got him in trouble, and most cases, it ended up being his downfall.

there were too many things that eren could count that were wrong with him. that he resorted to anger too fast, that he was so observant to the point that it was weird, that he could never bring himself to do what it was that he really wanted.

mikasa didn’t get into the program and he did, he had to ask levi why. his answer was plain in simple.

out of everything that miaksa submitted, levi was still unclear why it was that she wanted to do a phd. if he wasn’t sure of her intentions, he couldn’t be sure of her passion for research.

espeically compared to you.

“i’m giving you generic advice. it’s good to recenter yourself to think about why you’re doing this.”

“i…i don’t know what answer you want from me when you say that. i’m sure this stuff just came to you naturally with your dad and stuff, but i just don’t get what else i could have said.”

the only thing that came naturally to eren when it came to research was how much he hated it.

“look mikasa. i’m going to send you my application. you can read it over, okay?”

mikasa gives him a relieved smile.

“you’d do that?”

“of course. i’ll send it over right now, okay? just go focus on working on your project.”

eren notes that she’s increasingly appreciative of his offer, only because she jumps up and runs away the second he states it. eren reaches for his email, only to be distracted by the messages in the notification bar.

[karina]: oh my fucking god dad is being SO ANNOYING

[eren]: What now?

[karina]: he’s been telling me to do some neuroscience summer camp. i applied for the orchestra program that’s in marley but they overlap so he’s not telling me to do the orchestra thing.

[eren]: 1000%, you’re doing the orchestra camp.

[karina]: bro

[karina]: he’s being so serious about it. and you know how mom gets when he suggests stuff like this.

[eren]: Ignore that. How many days of the neuroscience camp would you miss?

[karina]: two

[eren]: Email them and ask how they treat absences. Worst case, we can make something up and get you out of there so you can finish the orchestra camp and then go.

[karina]: that’s so dramatic eren.

[karina]: i don’t even feel like it’s worth the hassle anymore. i just don’t like to fight with him when he gets like this.

[eren]: I will talk to him. Worst case, I’ll pay for you to go to that orchestra camp myself.

[karina]: eren, that’s just going to cause a bigger fight

[karina]: you know how he feels when we “gang up on him”

[eren]: You should still go if you want to go.

[karina]: dude why are you making such a big deal out of this? it's not that deep

[karina]: sometimes it’s nice to just rant things out. you don’t have to fix everything, you know?

[eren]: I just want to make sure that you go to your orchestra camp. I know that you really care about it.

[karina]: i know eren. i love you, okay? we can talk later.

eren can tell that karina’s being dismissive. that ever since she turned sixteen, karina had gotten more dismissive, only because his dad was getting more strict.

that she hated it when eren told her what to do. that eren couldn't help but tell her what to do.

eren’s too far away to do anything. he’s watching the same thing happen for a second time. mikasa’s bending backwards and forwards for something that she’s unsure about, but the two of them are running as far away from it as he possibly could.

eren can’t help but sink into his chair.

focus group is particularly tame today. only because it seems that this particular round of magnetic stimulations seemed to tire them out more than the last. colt’s still sensitive from the headache that he got following, marco a little quieter than usual.

you reckon that it would take something serious to put a damper on nanaba or shadis’s spirit.

“are you having an existential crisis, eren?” shadis asked.

you look up from your score sheet on your laptop, marked with colt’s signatures, and wait for eren’s response. your sudden interest doesn’t go unnoticed, as both nanaba and marco look right at you, before giving each other a look.

“why would i be having an existential crisis?” eren asks.

“you’re three weeks away from having a manbun. we need to do something about this.” nanaba deadpans.

you tune out the conversation, entirely distracted by the email that’s just popped into your inbox.

Re: Consulting Gabi Braun Hi Y/N, I would love to consult on your friend's case. Let’s schedule a preliminary Zoom session just so I can get an idea of what we’re starting with and get to know Gabi. Also, are you still planning on coming down to Marley in a few weeks for that small conference? If so, we would love to see you while you’re here. Best, Pieck

you can’t help but be irritated. feel patronized. and if you were having a better day, you wouldn’t take it out on her.

Re: Consulting Gabi Braun Thank you. I’ll send you her email so that you can schedule a session with her. Please be gentle, I know this type of stuff stresses her out. Yes, I’m still planning on coming to Marley. I will obviously be stopping to see you guys. How could I come home without doing that? I’ll see you and Porco then. Stay warm over there. Best, Y/N

the swishing sound of the email being sent sends a feeling of dread through your stomach. because you were harsh, because pieck was sensitive to these type of things, and she was going to tell porco.

he was going to tell your mom, your parents were going to worry that you were taking too much on, that you weren’t cut out for the whole phd thing, and just ask you to come back home.

deep down, you knew that most of it stemmed from ignorance. that they just weren’t able to understand exactly what it was that you were doing, so it made it difficult for them to support it fully.

it didn’t make your job any easier.

you slam your laptop shut, reaching for the manilla folders underneath and shuffling through the paperwork for the day.

“if you slam it any harder, you might as well just throw it out the window.” shadis states.

you give him a halfhearted smile.

“i’m very close to reaching that point.” you state.

shadis gives you wide eyes, before barking out into a laugh.

“maybe they’ll admit you here after they do that. for being distressed or something.” shadis states.

“oh, how fun would that be! you could meet my kids when they come visit on a friday.” nanaba states.

you set your pen down.

“if you want me to come visit you on a friday, i can come visit you on a friday, nanaba. i don’t need to have a violent break to do that.” you offer.

her eyes light up.

“really?”

“don’t impose on her free day off, nanaba.” marco responds, his tone almost quiet.

“oh no, i would hate to do that. no no, please don’t come.”

“i don’t do much on my free day off anyways.” you offer.

shadis narrows his eyes at you.

“you know, you have been quiet today. are you fighting with one of your little friends or something?” shadis asks.

“no. my overbearing mother.” you respond.

eren’s ears perk up.

“disgusting.” marco states.

“tell me about it.” you respond.

you shoot eren a polite smile, handing him the stack of papers that you finished processing, as you take the open seat by colt at the bay window. the two of you had exiled gabi and falco to processing appointments down the hall for the time being, which afforded colt the time to be honest without falco’s judgements.

“how are you today?” you ask.

colt shrugs.

“me too.”

“what’s going on with you? besides the overbearing mother?”

“i’m just having one of those days. i can’t find myself in the space to be in a good mood. which happens to me a lot, but it’s just difficult to kind of…maintain energy to act normal.” you respond.

colt sighs.

“tell me about it.”

“are you finding yourself making friends here?” you ask.

“yeah. i like marco.” colt responds.

you smile.

“i like marco too. he’s sweet.” you respond.

“i think you’re my friend. and eren. he stops by on fridays to come see how im doing. always brings me a new book to read.”

you pause.

“really?”

“yeah. he thinsk that it solves two problems with one stone. if i have read it before, it’ll jog my memory. and if i haven’t, i’m slowly building up my repertoire of classic literature. his words, not mine.”

you curl your nose.

“he always uses such pretentious words.”

“you know. you don’t really seem to be too fond of him.” colt observes.

“do you spend most of your focus group observing me?”

“well, it’s the only stimulating thign i do all week. it makes me hypervigilant.”

“he’s not very fond of me either.” you retort.

colt shakes his head.

“i don’t know about that. i’d say that it’s a very strong disdain.”

“is that supposed to make me feel better?” you ask.

colt shrugs.

“i often find that when you feel particularly strong about someone like that, there’s something else that’s lingering in the background.”

“i suppose. maybe i bring up some childhood memories of little girls pulling his hair in elementary school. now he’s retracting and taking out all his anger on me.” you respond.

eren taps on your shoulder.

“ready to go?” eren asks.

you shoot him a nod, before giving colt’s shoulder one last squeeze and bidding farewell.

“i’m going to check out with forester. can you bring the car around?” eren asks.

“my pleasure.”

eren finds that you’re sitting in the empty cul de sac of the waiting area, with your forehead resting on the steering wheel of the car. the music is blasting from the car again, something instrumental this time, and your eyes are pinched shut in frustration.

eren opens the door of the car and slides into the front street, noting the song that’s playing from the display.

Harry & Hermione - Nicholas Hooper

you immediately reach for your phone, aiming to change the playlist.

“sorry. i was closing my eyes for a second. we’ll be right out.”

“you listen to movie scores?” eren asks.

“hm?”

“the song. it’s part of the half blood prince movie score.”

“oh. yeah, i do. been a big fan of composing since i was a kid. i used to play the violin.”

eren smiles.

“cello.”

you pull out of the cul de sac.

“maybe we can listen to it when we work on the algorithm and the grant later.” you offer.

“sure. i would really like that. but i’m the one who’s going to play the music.” eren states.

you roll your eyes.

“so pushy.”

eren pauses.

"what's your favorite?" eren asks.

"score or individual song?" you retort.

eren pauses.

"score."

"the imitation game."

eren smiles.

"because he's also a scientist?" eren asks.

"it helps. i feel like i'm making groundbreaking moves when i listen to it while working."

"fair enough."

"what's yours?"

"the perks of being a wallflower." eren responds.

the thought that the chosen nickname that ended up being designated for you was wallflower. but he ignores it for the time being.

"we can take turns playing each other scores. i'm not going to let you control the aux in my car every time."

eren snorts.

"pushy. but deal. it's your day, today."

next part linked here

an: idk what's going on. let me live.

taglist: @invisible-mori @multiplefandomthings @chericos @wheredidmycrowngo @chaoticpxnda @aizzon @stuffeddeer @butterfly-skinnylegend @najaemism @hellokitty-doll @constanciandrea @iblamesusy @jaegersdiary @f4irygard3n @misadear @fell-4-u @coyloves @sobbangchan @you-always-made-me-blush @th0tformikasa @yell0wdreams @itzmeme @elliesbabygirl @miniaturemartian @differentrunawayperson @k0z3me @stroberiz @stillnotherapy @cherryredribbons

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