#Raccoon answers

[dailyraccoons]

I dont like rocket raccoon because I work at a sanctuary for surrendered/seized pet raccoons and like 90% of the time that poor bastard is named rocket and we have to rename it. I only have so many names left in me after 6 years of this. I hate what he did to me

You're the most valid person on this raccoon blog tonight

I'm going to use this as an excuse from now on when people ask why I don't like the guy lmfao

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

⚡️🌊🌈

(And you just know I want to ask 💦 🤣🤣🤣)

⚡️Lightning - Have you ever spontaneously added something to your story that you wouldn't have added normally? If so, what made you do it?

Hm.... "Spontaneously"? Not that I can recall. But I added Sy to Under Orders and it was all YOUR. FAULT.

🌊 Tsunami - When and where do you like to write?

Pretty much whenever the mood strikes me, wherever I am, but MAN do I prefer "at my own computer back home, with my own keyboard"....

🌈 Rainbow - What do you think makes your story unique / stand out?

The level of realism I don't typically see in fanfic. I crave it, so I love that I do that. And people seem to think I'm hilarious and laughing while reading smut was a new experience for some of them.

And honestly I think I have some kickass ideas. (ex; the Fantasy AU. Not gonna be modest about it; I fucking love my weird little creatures!)

💦 Flood - How many WIPs do you have?

Let's see...

Under Orders (not just 5, but 6 and 7 as well, just saying...) = 3

Natural

179CS

FixU

Coffee + Cats (the next one, and also the one after, and the next 2 after that) = 4

Mermaid!ofc x sailor!Marshall (currently blandly titled 'part of your world)

The Edge of Paradise (I might want to finish that at some point, FFS)

Shot through the heart (working title. Photographer!Mike)

White Blossoms (still haven't finished that pesky wedding...)

A kinky little number involving ropes, D/s and our very own Napoleon Solo (Modern AU)

Diary of a pretty boy (affectionately dubbed 'the hooker fic'. Darkfic)

Father Walker (priest!August. Also darkfic)

A first times headcanon

A little addition to the fantasy AU where Satyr!Charles gets absolutely nowhere with whatever nymph he ventures near, because FUNNY

Don't think I'm yours (modern!sugar daddy! Charles)

Daddy!August drabble where he has you write lines for very poor behaviour..... (Read; a brat-ass attitude he refuses to attempt to smack out of you anymore) 👀👀

The pirate fic (pirate Mike, Melot and Stephen, August snuck in there, a few others, perhaps)

So... Anything you'd be particularly interested in?

(that's 17 WIPs, where no1 counts for 3 and not counts for 4, so add 5, makes a total of 21...)

@geralts-yenn @ellethespaceunicorn @mayloma @martha-oi @ylva-syverson Anyone in favor of me finishing something special? 😂😂

[just-a-random-raccoon]

Traduction: Hello. Guess who am I 👻, well I wanted to do a question to Dave. What it feels to be you?

Ok o eres Charly/s1llyyyst4rz o Mike. Y estoy un 78% segura que es el primero.

[mars0upial]

this blog has such intense 18 year old chronically online energy. the radfem posting when youre literally a child that does not understand the repercussions of the ideology your spreading is concerning and amusing at the same time. get well soon xoxo - your local trans sex addict who loves porn and sex workers and trans people and hopes your server spits in your drink <3

you’re spreading*

also like okay. i’m chronically online. okay anon who has stalked me enough to know i’m chronically online and don’t understand what i’m saying. also you cant love sex workers if you love porn lol it’s like saying you love children and therefore only buy from child sweatshops.

also i’m a server and a full time student lol get a grip do u think i have the money to go out for food?

also also i love the way i’m a stupid child who doesn’t understand anything but when i was 12 i was old enough to understand that i must be a boy trapped in a girls body because i was lesbian and struggling with internalised homophobia and body dysmorphia. that makes so much sense!!!! thank you ❤️

[g1gglee-rxccoon]

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤🤍 I’ll leave somme leftovers

❤️ - I refuse to answer this

🧡 - .....Nnnnowhere (Uh something that won't kill Me, like my neck or smth)

💛 - too many good ones, I'd say all are equally good<3 :D

💚 - aha about this one uh... depending on how rough, it's a maybe, I cannot handle gentle either so uh aum uh roughly for thirty minutes I guess</3

💙 - t-word monster why would this be of information to you good sir

💜 - uhhhh why ...aha.. rib counting gives me energy and makes me hyper fisbfbjsn

🤎 - wooo here we goo @quackalee, @wilblee-soot, @an-inkling-of, @j-switch, @rxsahgrce, @ticklishavian, @duckie-rulez, and way too many others to count lmao

🖤 - my friend got wrecked for stealing their boyfriend's food

🤍 - friends, why not, I get to be goofy and relieve feelings, people are chill, Yada yada

[fruitytrashpanda19]

HI PARIS

i love you 💕

LOVE U TOO GOOBER

[trashpandazowo]

For the kink ask thing; P I S S

False ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[canisalbus]

You ever see the video of the racoon with a piece of cotton candy and it tries to wash it off in some water only for it to dissolve, and its little racoon hands are patting the water trying to find the cotton candy? I need a tiny racoon-like Machete losing his cotton candy in the water while Vasco sits by him and comforts him. I need tiny teary-eyed racoon Machete. Please.

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

If you're from North America, please reply/tag with what part of the continent you're from!

[wrenkos]

he’ll spoil that raccoon regardless

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

🌙🔥🌫️ just curious!

🌙 Eclipse - What's the most common / reoccurring theme of your WIP(s)?

Probably... I'd say the boatload of queer and neurodivergent characters? I think?

🔥 Wildfire - Who is your most emotional character and why?

I think FixU-Sy might be pretty high on the list here...

Crescent Street's Marshall has been a moody, emotional wreck for most of the series...

Natural's Mikey!!! Definitely up there... (C+c's Mikey, too, maybe.)

🌫 Fog - What was the hardest part of your WIP to write?

I have a tendency to struggle writing smut! It always makes me feel a little silly and insecure, and wondering if people will read it and think a line is disgusting or laughable or... Y'know

[just-a-random-raccoon]

Traduction: Hi, I have a question for Blackjack, how it feels to live with Dave?

I'm sorry for Blackjack's design I don't know how to draw dogs :( I'm working on asks I swear-

Lo siento por el diseño de Blackjack no sé cómo dibujar perros- :( Estoy trabando en las preguntas. Lo prometo-

[mars0upial]

u speak irish?? i just started trying to learn omg *o*

i speak a little bit! i acc just did my final exams and i did the ordinary level irish exam (easy mode basically) because my grammar and spelling are quite poor, plus i just wasn’t bothered tbh, but i love speaking pig irish with my friends especially in foreign countries lol. by pig irish i mean irish with english spliced in because my vocab is weak asf. but yeah here we’re exposed to irish in school like 24/7 from age 5 so i can have a convo. why are u learning irish?

[g1gglee-rxccoon]

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💖💝💘💓💗💞💕(for the ask thing :])

❤️: Literally any of them... at all..😭

🧡: Uhh hands— why not

💛: Anything around the upper body nowhere— aha idk what you mean<3

💚: Why... wrecking

💙: I uh uh uh uh Usually really Bratty lmfao

💜: None

💘: nnno... Maybe...

💝: At most, I'll accept the thing where arms are above head— but that's the maximum .........Anyways!

💓: Cannot say it to save my life— even the word in itself is flustering

[jaythes1mp]

HI HOW ARE YOU I HOPE YOU’RE WELL!

I loved the way you wrote the Goldfish! Reader one shot I was surprised you wrote it so fast but excited! You could’ve taken your time with writing but it had me giddy when I was reading it!

This idea popped up again in my head from where you said that Conner would have to break the news to Damian about the goldfish reader not being there and it’s a fake fish that looks real similar.

During lunch:

Conner who barley had any classes with Damian that day and only could meet with him during lunch: H hey buddy you know that’s not goldfish! Reader right?

Damian who’s feeding the fish: hmm what do you mean of course it’s them.

Conner who can see the little differences and maybe hear the different heartbeat or something: that’s not them

Damian realizing the differences is like: this is just a common fish?! Who could’ve- *cuts himself off realizing who and growls out* Drake!

*the common goldfish just vibing, liking the tank and food* (^.^)

Wayne Enterprises:

Tim who’s doing paper work for Bruce sneezes out of nowhere: huh wonder who’s talking about me now?

*Tim smiles at reader in goldfish form realizing it’s time to feed me opens the enclosures little lid or something dropping premium pellets in*

Tim: here you go some food! Huh it’s time for lunch for me too.

*goldfish! Reader who had been sleeping on a comfy rock perks up at the sound of fish pellets hitting the water*

Goldfish! Reader!: As much as I hate the fact that I’m like this these some really good freaking premium fish pellets *the words just come out in air bubbles*

*quickly swims to get them and eats the pellets going through the hoop that’s in the tank after that and decides to go to the filter bubbles bored swimming against the mini current letting it push them away having fun and than determined to not get pushed by said current so swims determinedly against it*

Tim watching this taking pictures that he’s definitely gonna print later: Wow look at you go!

ALSO WOW THE BIG GOLDFISH BLEW MY MIND!

Also another scenario Raccoon! Reader sneaking out and determined to get to the trash and is going through it when their picked up by an unamused Alfred who promptly squirts them with a water bottle as he carries them back into the manor taking and scolding them and the reader just chitters and screeches angrily at him but doesn’t attack him because he makes good food.

Raccoon! Reader: *chittering and screeching angrily in Raccoon speak* Alfred it’s in my nature to do this you can’t stop me! The other raccoons are doing it why can’t I?! You’re embarrassing me and ruining my street cred in front of them! *sees the other raccoons nearby and screeches louder chittering more embarrassed and angry* I’m not a cub / kit s not fair! *throughs up paws to cover themselves the face and grabbing their ears*

Alfred tsking carrying them by the scruff: We must take you a bath now and take out that raccoon book bag harness (like a kids child leash book bag thing) during the night! Who would like to have you first during the night to make sure you don’t escape hmm Master Richard or Master Damian? Or Master Bruce?

Raccoon! Reader: *screeches more*

SORRY FOR THE LONG ASK/ SCENARIO! IT JUST WOULDN’T LEAVE MY HEAD!

I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY/ NIGHT/ EVENING!!!!💜💚🩵💙❤️🩷💛🩶🖤🧡

⭐️anon

Hey ⭐️! I’m good, how are you?

These are so cute!! I love your little raccoon reader scenario. If they were more lenient yans who know that you’ll come back, then that would definitely happen.

Also, RIGHT??? Goldfish facts are actually crazyy

「SORRY FOR THE LONG ASK/SCENARIO! IT WOULDN’T LEAVE MY HEAD!」 ← anytime dude! I love these💚

Masterlist

[rottenraccoons]

I'm sure there's nothing ominous and foreboding at all about us losing control over our actions when the fractum anima strikes right? Right. Perfectly normal.

Nothing that could come out of a cracked soul anyway. Or get in.

There's definitely nothing foreboding about any of that. Fractum anima just involves instances of the player losing control of the game when typically the player expects to be able to perfectly control Vesper within the bounds of the mechanics. You definitely don't have to worry about what's on the other side in those moments, controlling Vesper in your stead 😊