#RIP to anyone viewing this on mobile

[parisoonic]

I'm so sorry these are all just images with my duff handwriting (I thought I had more half-sketched things than I actually did WHOOPS) but here's a bunch of comic scripts I've had chilling for ages (and this is like...a fraction of them lol).

Anyways for 2k followers (!!!) I thought I'd do something a bit bigger than I have been drawing lately SO if you have a preference about what you'd like to see finished here's your chance 😊 I'll run this poll for like 48 hours (wait...there's only two choices? 1 day or 1 week smh...a week it is) and then get to work 🫡

[lilacura]

Across the Ruins | Ahn Yujin

pairing: ahn yujin x fem!reader

>wc: 1.1k

sypnosis: Yujin and Y/N were in love until war split them up. time later, tragedy reunites them on a battlefield - but only long enough for Yujin to hold Y/N as she takes her last breaths. Devastated, Yujin is now driven by one thing: revenge.

The dust slowly began to clear, revealing the devastated landscape around her. Yujin coughed, trying to wave away the cloud of dirt and debris in front of her face. Her ears were still ringing from the explosion. As her vision focused, the full scale of the destruction came into view.

There were bodies scattered all around her - some soldiers from her side, but many from the opposing force. She tried not to look too closely at their mangled forms. A few survivors were starting to stir, groaning in pain. In the distance, she could see those who were still mobile retreating from the blast site.

The bomb had done its job, delivering a crippling blow to the enemy forces gathered in this valley. But at what cost? War always demands sacrifices, she knew, no matter how much the idea turned her stomach. She had long since grown numb to death, having witnessed more than her fair share on the battlefield.

But today, something felt different. As she struggled to her feet amidst the wreckage, a feeling of dread started to creep over her. Her instincts were screaming that something wasn't right.

That's when she spotted a familiar figure lying facedown in the dirt just a few feet away. Even covered in dust, she would recognize that silhouette anywhere.

"No…" she gasped, staggering towards the unmoving form. With trembling hands, she gently rolled the body over, her worst fears confirmed.

"Y/N…" Her name escaped Yujin's lips as a tormented whisper. There was no mistaking those beautiful features, now marred with pain. Blood streamed from a gash on her forehead, matting her hair. But her eyes remained closed, chest motionless.

Yujin pulled Y/N's limp body into her arms, holding her tightly as if her embrace alone could will her beloved back to life. Hot tears burned tracks down her dirty cheeks. "Please don't leave me," she sobbed. "Not after all this time."

Memories of happier days long past flooded Yujin's mind. She remembered laughter and soft kisses shared in the privacy of their little apartment, before the world went mad. Back when they had a future to look forward to together.

They had met in their last year of university, bonded by a shared love of music and late nights discussing their dreams. Y/N was unlike anyone Yujin had ever known - beautiful inside and out, with a passionate soul that resonated with her own. Before long, they became inseparable, finding solace and inspiration in one another.

Things moved quickly after that. Within months, Yujin knew she had fallen irrevocably for this girl. When Y/N echoed the sentiment, the joy and rightness of it all had left Yujin feeling like the luckiest person alive.

After graduation, they decided to get a place together in the city. Yujin had never been happier than walking through the front door of their tiny apartment for the first time, hand in hand with Y/N. Every new experience in this new chapter of life was made all the sweeter by having her best friend at her side.

They dreamed of travelling the world together, of creating art that could spread beauty and hope. Through hard work and dedication to their craft, it seemed like anything was possible for them as a team. Yujin truly believed their future was brighter than the sun.

But then the war came, ripping their bliss apart. Overnight, their countries became bitter enemies, forcing Yujin and Y/N to reluctantly choose sides. It was the saddest day of Yujin's life when she had to say goodbye, not knowing if they would ever meet again once they parted ways.

She and Y/N had argued bitterly then, torn between duty and devotion in a way that left scars. Yujin regretted some of the harsh things said in anguish. All she wanted in that moment was to flee with Y/N and abandon the conflict, to preserve what they had built together. But it just wasn't that simple.

And now, through some cruel twist of fate, they had been reunited here on the battlefield - only for Y/N to be torn from her all over again. The bitter irony was not lost on Yujin.

She held Y/N close as body-wracking sobs shook her frame. All around her was desolation, but in that moment Yujin felt more alone than ever before. The emptiness inside threatened to consume her.

A gasp suddenly cut through the haze of grief. Eyes fluttering open, Y/N drew in a raspy breath, weakly gripping Yujin's arm.

"Y…Yujin…" Her voice was barely a whisper, lips quivering into a painful smile.

Overcome with relief and anguish, Yujin showered Y/N's face with trembling kisses between tears. "I'm here, love. Please don't go…"

Y/N coughed, each exhale labored as crimson flecks spotted her lips. With effort, she lifted a shaking hand to gently caress Yujin's cheek one last time.

"I never…stopped…loving you," Y/N rasped. A tear rolled down her dirtied cheek. "I'm sorry…we ended up on…opposite sides."

"Shhh, don't apologize," Yujin choked out, leaning into Y/N's touch. "This war means nothing. Only you have ever meant anything."

She gripped Y/N's hand tightly, as if to somehow pass what remaining strength she had left. But it was a futile effort to stall the inevitable. Y/N's eyes drifted shut once more, head falling limply to the side. And just like that, her fragile grip loosened as the last spark of life left her broken body.

Yujin's anguished wail rent the air, echoing across the ruined valley in a despairing cry of loss. clutching Y/N close, she poured out every last shred of regret, guilt and sorrow until she had nothing left.

All those years lost to war, and this was how they ended - worlds apart even in death. As the sun began to set over the aftermath of carnage, Yujin tasted only bitterness. She had failed to protect the one thing in this world that ever truly mattered.

The future they had once dreamed of building was gone forever, leaving Yujin alone with only memories of what could have been. Huddling over Y/N's lifeless corpse, tears continued to flow freely until darkness swallowed the land whole. An ache was born in Yujin's heart that night that would never fully heal.

From that point on, the war had a new purpose for Yujin - vengeance, in Y/N's name. She would ensure their homeland paid dearly for taking the love of her life. No matter the cost, she vowed Y/N's death would not be in vain. The bloodshed had only just begun.

a/n: I CAN NEVER FIND THE RIGHT COLOR FOR THE DIVIDERS ITS SO ANNOYING

[the-eldritch-it-gay]

OC Meme

I was tagged by @babeoffrontiers <3!

Name: Majexatli (pronounced roughly Mah-heh-sha-lee in English)

Nickname: Asha (by Althyran), Tli (by daring close friends)

Gender: Indigiqueer (they/them)

Star sign: They don’t even know what year they were born, let alone month or day rip. I imagine they were born in the summer though.

Height: 6’6

Orientation: polyamorous bisexual

Race: Zariel Tiefling

Romancing: mainly Wyll & Karlach, though also the adventuring party is a complicated polycule where they’re also dating Shadowheart, Lae’zel, Halsin and have something complicated with Astarion

Fave fruit: Apples, blackberries

Fave season: Autumn

Fave flower: Aconitum, digitalis, cempasúchil

Fave scent: Cedar, smoke, sage, blood

Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: Tea

Average sleep hours: Far too few... they are a bit of an insomniac unfortunately. They had been working on trying to get more sleep before the adventure, but the whole tadpoles and cult thing going on did set them back quite a bit.

Dogs or cats: They like both, but prefer dogs (and their son, the owlbear cub)

Dream trip: anywhere back in Northwestern Faerûn, they would prefer somewhere outside of the cities but would be willing to also visit Waterdeep or Neverwinter. They don't really have anywhere they call home, but they often wandered in Northwestern Faerûn and feel more at home there.

Amount of blankets: Usually they don’t sleep with a blanket, because they commonly will sleep in Wildshape. Out of wildshape they sometimes will also sleep without a blanket, but have some furs to cozy up in if it’s cold.

Random fact(s):

They have better control and skill with Wildshape than the average druid. They were only ~14 when they were able to Wildshape for the first time, and have spent a significant portion of their life in Wildshape. (For comparison, Wildshape is mechanically a 2nd level ability for druids)

Contrary to the Everything about them, they are not a Durge.

Despite pretending to be a Silvanus Worshipping Druid, Majexatli in fact hates Silvanus, considers themselves an ex-druid, and worships Malar, a chaotic evil deity of hunting, stalking, and the violence of beasts.

They worship Malar with a level of devotion that over the years has in fact granted them several boons (and perhaps some curses, depending on your view). One of which is what I call pseudo-lycanthropy, where they are not a lycanthrope but are about as close as you can get without actually being one.

At the age of 18, they received the title of Faithwarden, becoming the youngest druid to gain a title in their circle’s history. They were stripped of the title a little over a year later, though Majexatli ran off into exile before any official rulings

They often use Wildshape as a sort of mobility aid, almost, since their mobility is limited outside of it.

I am too anxious atm to tag anyone specific, but if anyone sees this and wants to do this, consider youself tagged!

[carriehobbs]

I saw you tagged Ellery Wiseman on that poem and am dropping into your inbox to ask for anything you'd like to share about your Button!! (Do you have more than one? Who do they romance? How is their relationship with Nick?) -wayhavenots

omg pd tysm for asking!! 💕💕 there is absolutely nothing in the world i love more than having an excuse to talk about my ocs

i (with some rare exceptions) am the kind of if player that makes a new oc for every romance route i play, so i actually have 5 buttons 🫣 (technically 6, rip elliot wiseman who was from my very first mind blind playthrough, when i just wanted to see if i liked the game. you were very depressed and never became a fully-realized button, but your sacrifice is remembered and your name is retired out of respect). i have a page with very, very brief details on my buttons (and also my detectives for wayhaven) and links to their tags here, but if you use tumblr mobile you've probably never had the opportunity to see it.

this got so very, very long, so the rest is under the cut

my 5 buttons are: ella, ellie, elle, ellis, and ellery (can you guess what naming convention i lifted from the game's default names? lol). what's universally true for all 5 of them (though with some nuance, they all have slightly different feelings about their relationships) is that they're as close as they can be with their parents (because i like john and hope as characters and i find "i really love these people but our relationship became incredibly complicated and we now have to find ways to reconcile our disappointment/anger/etc. with our love for them" to be really compelling. i love mess) and with nick (because i'm a middle child and i accidentally projected my feelings about my siblings (and especially my older sister) onto the button&nick relationship. i physically can't be mean to nick because i cried for about 45 minutes the first time i read the end of chapter 3/chapter 4 and for the first time really considered my sister's mortality, and that changes you).

for a (not really that brief, whoops) rundown of my buttons' whole deals:

ella: equally humorous and confident, very high insightful stat, romancing ambrose. she's independent, intelligent, ambitious, loyal, great at compartmentalizing, and, quite frankly, arrogant. she can be really abrasive sometimes (while she can be a kind and compassionate person, most people don't get to see that side of her and so she can come off as really rather unpleasant - think that know-it-all kid in your class that everyone kind of hates). ella naturally is rather funny/confident/intelligent/etc., but i think, after the incident with hope, she ended up amplifying these inherent traits of hers and making them into a sort of armour that keeps her safe, but also isolates her. i think she's afraid of showing weakness and i think she feels this subconscious need to prove to everyone (including herself) that she's capable. her relationship with nick is the worst out of all of my buttons (but is still incredibly high, think 160/170-ish approval), mainly because she and nick clash the most. she's very independent and knows what she wants and will pursue it (even if it's a boyfriend her brother doesn't like or a career her parents don't want for her) no matter what anyone else thinks, and nick can be a little hover-y (though this improves over the events of the game). she does really love nick (and does actually care about his approval, even if it won't stop her from doing things she knows he won't like), even if she finds him kind of annoying sometimes. she views the incident with hope as a horrible accident that wasn't anyone's fault, and i think she sees better than my other buttons how everyone in the family was affected by the fallout. fun fact: several years post-game, she and ambrose have identical twin girls (ella jokes that she wanted two kids so she and ambrose had twins because "we're efficient". they have girls because ambrose is a girl dad. i am not accepting notes) that share a birthday with nick (because i need ambrose to be forced to participate in a large yearly party that at least partially involves celebrating nick. do you know how many years nick rented a bouncy castle and then proceeded to bounce on the bouncy castle with the girls? it's every year until they decided they're too cool for it. nick's heart broke that day)

eleanor/ellie: more humorous than confident (with confident stat increasing through the game), but has a decent morbid stat too, very high insightful stat, romancing grayson. ellie fulfills my need in every if game/rpg i play to have at least one character who is so, so nice to everyone (my detective alina fulfills this need in wayhaven). she's kind, considerate, forgiving, has a strong sense of morals (except at work, where she's very expedient), and tends to blame herself when things go wrong. she really feels just unbearably guilty about most things: the incident with hope (if she'd acted differently, if she'd been different, etc., maybe it wouldn't have happened), nick's accident in chapter 3, nick having to take care of her through high school... she really struggled after the incident with hope because she needed nick and depended on him so much, but then hated herself for how much she needed him and feeling like she ruined his life (she did project this onto gray when he started hanging around, which is why she didn't like him at first, but over time she realized it wasn't his fault and moved on. and then she got goopy feelings for him). she's not blind to nick's faults, but she adores him (200 approval easily). i think a lot of her growth over the course of the game comes from learning to trust herself and to believe in herself. fun fact: she once made a joke to gray after they started dating (in front of nick and sally too 😬) without thinking about how there'd be "no kids or dog until we have a house". it was way too early in the relationship to be making a joke about having kids or a house. they didn't even live together yet. she's still a little mortified that she said that

elle: confident, very high insightful stat, romancing kent. i love elle because she's kind of relentlessly forward-thinking. she doesn't really dwell on the past except to figure out how to improve the future. she believes strongly that it's what someone does that matters. she's my button who's the most interested in trying to get herself into the npo program. like ella, i think she views the incident with hope as a horrible accident that isn't really anyone's fault, and i think she really makes an effort not to dwell on it or assign blame for what happened. she also has terminal foot-in-mouth disease (talking about bondage with kent in front of your brother, best friend, and instructor after revealing that you'll probably get tortured together, anyone?), which is the bane of her existence. while i think all my buttons struggled with some agoraphobia post-the incident with hope, i think elle really struggled with it: she loves dogs and used to volunteer at an animal shelter, but had to stop because she couldn't handle being outside of her home without sally or nick (she could go to school if she spent the entire day with sally, and then would go straight home) and it took several months for her to feel like she could go places without one or both of them again. once she was able to leave her home independently, she started volunteering at the animal shelter again, and is still there. fun fact: post-game and further into their relationship, she ends up accidentally moving in with kent. it starts by just spending a lot of time at his place because it's so close to nick's (i think a lot of her and kent's dates just involve hanging out together), then more and more of her stuff migrates over, until one day she realizes she's been there for two weeks and all of her clothes are in kent's laundry. she formally moves in after that. she's also my button who's most likely to elope!

ellis: humorous-morbid (slightly more morbid than humorous), tentatively more innovative than insightful (i keep swapping the stats), romancing sally. he's "just some guy" (affectionate) to me, if "just some guy" had gallows' humour. he's been kind of desperately in love with sally since he was 13 and figured out what love was. ellis is the kind of person who looks fine on the surface but really isn't. whereas elle doesn't dwell on the incident with hope because she wants to move forward with her life and not have this one event define her, ellis doesn't dwell on it because doing so will wreck him. he was the closest with hope growing up, since they shared a sense of humour and he felt that she really understood him, and it profoundly hurt when she started to pull away as he got older. he trusted her more than anyone growing up and it hurts a lot now to think about how the people he relies on most now are nick and sally instead. he's not as forward about the guilt he feels and how it affects him as ellie or ellery are, but it's still there. he's also very close with nick and really admires him: nick is ellis's model for what it means to "be a man" (more so than john, but i don't think ellis is really aware of this). ellis also views gray as a sort of quasi-older brother figure and is actually more likely to ask gray for relationship or life advice than nick (mainly because he'd feel a little awkward talking to nick about stuff like relationship advice - also look at nick's relationship track record, gray's probably the safer bet). fun fact: ellis is either the same height as nick or one inch shorter than nick (i can never remember), so if they're out together and the topic of height comes up, he tells people that he's at least two inches shorter than he actually is. this is because nick will lie about his height to make himself taller if given the chance, so ellis gets there first and forces nick to be 5ft9 for an evening (nick hates this).

ellery: humorous, higher insightful stat than interpersonal stat, romancing (m!)glitch. she's such a smartass. she's all jokes and has a quip ready for any situation, but, like ella, i think these are inherent characteristics of hers that get amplified as a defense mechanism. i think it's in chapter 1 of the demo that there's the line that says it's better to have people laughing with you than at you, and that really fits ellery. ellery blames herself for really everything to do with hope and nick, but if she brushes it off with a joke she can pretend to be fine (she's incredibly not - her guilt defines a lot of her relationships with other people and how she views herself). she's also incredibly devoted to her family (to the point where she can't listen to someone criticize them professionally because like. that's her dad. this sometimes causes issues in her and glitch's relationship, because glitch is unafraid to criticize unity when appropriate, but they figure out how to manage it over time). speaking of glitch: she is such a loverrrrrrr 💕💕💕 they really are intolerable together because they're that couple that's just all over each other. everyone around them hopes they'll tone it down after the honeymoon stage ends but they do not 💕 i imagine them moving in together incredibly quickly too. i don't know the exact timeline of the game so far, but even this early on, ellery knows that he's it for her. ellery makes me think the most about what it would actually be like to not only grow up with people who are able to hear your every thought but to never live with someone who can't read your mind. i always imagine ellery as being very comfortable communicating telepathically when she chooses to (she almost got held back from preschool because she didn't speak until she was 3/4 - not because she had speech or language delays, but because why would she speak out loud when she could communicate telepathically? eventually telepathic communication had to be (temporarily) banned in the house to get ellery to speak verbally, and once she did the ban was lifted). telepathic communication also means an entirely different way of communicating between people: visual jokes, jokes where the comedy isn't in the punchline but in the way the joke is constructed before it's been told, being able to rely on the person you're talking to picking up subtleties from your thoughts if you're having trouble expressing yourself in words, etc. and glitch is the first person she's ever lived with who can't read her mind (sometimes she'll be in another room half way through a conversation with glitch in her head and she'll ask him for his opinion on something she thought, only for him to have to remind her that he cannot hear her. luckily glitch finds this funny when it happens and lightly ribs her about it). she gets incredibly frustrated with herself sometimes because she doesn't know how to explain to him how much he means to her or how much she loves him. she tries, but she never feels like it really encompasses the depth of the feeling (it's the one time she wishes he was a ment, so he could hear it). fun fact: about a year into their relationship, ellery wrote glitch a really bad love poem to try and express her feelings for glitch in a way that's meaningful to him. glitch loved it and insisted that it was beautiful, but she thinks it's amateur and is kind of embarrassed about it because he quotes actual love poetry to her all the time. this poem does actually exist because i wrote it to try and get in her head space and figure out what she'd say, and it's mid at best (i am not a poet)

[rand0mfreak]

Those comments you're getting are awful. >< I'm sorry, man. Keep your chin up. You're not weak for feeling bad when people say such horrible shit to you. I think most anyone would feel the same.

(I apologize, I don't have any idea how old those posts are because it's such a massive hassle to figure that out on mobile RIP. but either way I wanna send you support.)

Thank you, I am struggling on fitting in with others and my intrusive thoughts as I feel alienated when it happens. I wish people were more respectful to people like me, I don't think I belong in America as people views are so different from mine. I wish to escape this world but my parents won't allow it.

[killyourrdarlingss]

Character Interview - Dennis Dustin Monroe

tysm to @henbased for tagging me in this !! did it take forever ? absolutely! but, it was so, so worth it. and of course I chose Jacob because he can actually get info out of Dennis lol.

This is written in a much simpler style, very just one line, action, etc, or else this would have been 10k and honestly i just dont have the energy-- so script style ? kinda.  

(formatting broke please look at this work on my actual blog/desktop site for proper format, no idea how to fix this but it looks BAD on mobile, if anyone does lmk) 

TW for extremely negative views, past mentions of death, unhealthy coping mechanisms, smoking, blood.

Dennis is called in by Jacob for a chat and definitely isn’t an intimidation technique of any kind since Joseph's taken a liking to Dennis.

 Nah, definitely not. 

-

-

“State your name.” 

He falters, tucks a strand of hair behind his ear, looks anywhere but Jacob’s eyes. 

  “It’s Dennis.”

  “Full name.” 

“Dennis Dustin Monroe.” a pause,

 “I really hate it though, if i’m honest… and seems like if I’m staying down here, I should be.” 

A scoff, or a laugh, a chuckle? Dennis doesn’t think too much into it. 

“Relationship status.” not asked like a question, Dennis observes.

  “Single..? I…” 

  “Really?” 

  Dennis has to bite back a comment. 

“And you're happy with that, I’m guessing?” he doesn't look amused, he just leans back a bit, exhales like Dennis is boring him.

“Being single or just in general? because it’s complicated.” 

  a pause, “for both.”

“Do you have a smoke, or something–” 

  He feels like he’s choking. 

“Are you happy?”

  Dennis bites at a hangnail, 

  “I don’t think so.” 

Jacob nods, the chair creaks under him.

  “You’re angry?” 

  “Yeah.” 

  “At what, what are you mad at?” 

He rips the hangnail from his finger, spits it away from Jacob on the floor and sucks at the blood forming.

  “Who knows.” 

Jacob’s foot taps on the floor, Dennis’ eyes shoot up, 

  “Myself–” Dennis doesn’t feel like talking but he does, his eyes are watering and Jacob’s unmoving like a stone, 

He blinks once,

  “I wish it was me.” 

Jacob doesn't prod, hums under his breath.

  “Let's move on.”

Dennis looks away.

“Your family, parents, are they married?”

  “Technically? No.” 

  “Explain.”

  “N-” Dennis chokes, coughs, his eyes water more, tears down his cheeks– he feels vulnerable. 

  More than before.

“No.” he picks at the bloody nail and moves his eyes down to the floor, 

  “I don't want to do this.”

“You will.”

  “You scare me.” 

  Jacob laughs.

“Where were you born?”

Dennis wipes the now cold tear from his face.

  “I was born in Montana actually.” 

“Are you lying?” 

  “Yeah.” 

Dennis smiles, emotionless.

  “Next.”

“I’m assuming your hair isn’t naturally green.”

  “You’re pretty smart.” 

Jacob clears his throat, Dennis jolts,

  “Brown.” 

“Your eyes are…” Jacob leans in, Dennis swallows, 

  “Hm,” there’s a smirk on his face, 

“Weird I know, I get it a lot”

  Jacob stares, grabs his chin and looks closer. 

Dennis stays stiff as a board, 

  “Brown on the left, blue on the right.”

  Dennis pulls his face away, it's his turn to clear his throat, 

“Next.”

  “You can't be older than John.” 

  “I think I know what the next question is,” 

“When you were born.”

  Dennis nods, 

  “September twenty-fourth, nineteen eighty four.” 

  “Hm.” Jacob relaxes only a bit, “You're turning forty soon.”

  “Don't remind  me.”

“Current mood?”

  “Worse now that you’ve reminded me.”

“Nothing wrong with it.”

  “I think I wasted my life.”

  “You still have time.”

“Next.”

  “You're a man, I’m assuming.”

  Dennis laughs.

“John wrote these.” Jacob looks over at a paper on a small table beside them, 

“Summer or winter, morning or afternoon.”

  “Summer, and night.” 

  They both nod. 

A laugh, it should break the tension, it doesn’t. 

  “Are you in love, Mr. Monroe?”

  “Hah–” 

Dennis feels the air break up a little bit, he still wishes he had a smoke,

  “Would it make it all easier if I was?”  

Jacob looks like he’s actually thinking but says nothing.

  “So, single, not in love, angry at the world?” 

  “Just your type then?”

  Jacob laughs a bit louder, 

“Did you end your last relationship?”

  “I've ended all of them.” 

“Don't feel bad- breaking their hearts like that?”

  Dennis sounds proud, 

  “Nah.”

“Nobody good enough?”

  “Could say that.” Dennis smirks, “only ever liked this one guy so I thought about it.”

  “Thought about?” 

  “Something longer, love maybe. Maybe I just liked his face.”

It’s Jacob’s turn to say it, 

  “Alright, next.” 

Dennis nods,

   “Can I smoke now?” 

  “Bad habit.” but Jacob hands one to him regardless, 

  “A light?”

  “Not yet.”

  Dennis puts it between his lips regardless.

“Big on physical contact?” Jacob leans his head in his hand, “Don’t seem like the type.”

  “Depends.”

  “Hugged anyone recently?”

  Dennis goes quiet, 

“Maybe.” he smiles.

  “John has stupid questions.” Jacob bites as he reads the paper, throwing the blame.

“‘Do you have a secret admirer–’ really.” 

  “Yeah you–” Dennis looks up and sees the annoyance burning in his eyes and shuts his mouth, 

  “Next question.”

  The tension is back, 

“Broke many hearts, how about your own?” 

  Dennis has to think about it, bites around the filter, 

  “Next question.” 

“You need to answer,”

  “Light this if I answer?” 

  Jacob nods, “Go on.”

  Dennis holds out the cig, 

  “The answer’s no.”

Jacob flashes his teeth as the tip of the smoke begins to burn.

  They both settle.

“The next questions are quick.”

  “Good.”

  “Lemonade or iced tea?”

  “Really?”

  Jacobs foot taps, Dennis breathes smoke in, 

  “Okay, lemonade.”

“Cats or dogs.”

  “Dogs” 

Exhales the smoke, 

  “That makes sense.”

  “Really- What if I lied?” 

  Takes another drag, Jacob digs in his pocket for his own smoke,

  “No, you didn’t.”

  Dennis grins, all teeth, 

  “You’re right.”

“Many friends or just one good one?”

  “Neither.”

  He hears a lighter click, 

  “I agree.” 

The tensions replaced by nicotine, Dennis feels looser, 

  Jacob scoffs, 

  “A Romantic night doesn't suit you.”

  “And, you know me so well, what's the question?” he can't help but laugh, 

  “-Or a wild night out.” 

  “Ah.”

  Jacob hums. 

  “Maybe I just need to try it– romance.” 

  Jacob breathes out, takes another drag, 

  “Maybe.” 

  Dennis doesn’t pursue the thought. 

“Day or night?”

  “For romance?”

  “No.” Jacob’s over the subject, Dennis can't help but tease. 

  “Night.” 

Jacob exhales slow, right at Dennis before asking the next question, 

  “Love or Lust.” 

  “Oh.” it slips out, Dennis feels heat on his cheeks. 

  Jacob stands from his chair and boxes Dennis into his own chair, hands on each armrest, leans in, 

  “ I know, Dennis.” his eyes don't move, he gasps out and tries to move his head away, suffocated, tar in his lungs. 

“You’re scaring me again.” easy to default to, Dennis braces.

Jacob brings a hand to his face,  tilting his head back to look at him, 

“If you know, why do I need to answer?

  Jacob smiles, 

“-Love.” he shuts his eyes as he says it, voice raised, Jacobs fingers press firm into his cheek, 

  “fuck– You– how do you…” 

  He lets him go, sated. 

Dennis immediately takes a drag and pulls himself together, 

  “He seemed happier, last I saw him.” 

  Dennis shakes his head, “You don’t–” 

  “I know my own brother.” 

  He doesn't say it loud, but the small change in tone makes his blood freeze and he backs down, 

  “Right. Sorry.” 

“Next question.”

  Dennis nods.

  “Have you ever?” Jacob walks closer to the table and nods, 

  “Got caught sneaking out?” 

  Dennis looks to his surroundings, bleak, gray, hospital room,

  “Could say that.” 

“Fell up or down the stairs.” 

  “Sure.”

Dennis stubs his cigarette out, 

  “About Joseph, how did you know, we were uh– I mean, I just- I don't believe you entirely either.”

He watches Jacob, eyes sharpening as he shakes his head, 

  “Have you ever wanted something so bad it hurt?”

  Dennis nods, 

  “Yeah, you?” 

  Another nod. 

“Ever wanted to disappear?”

  Dennis leans his arm against the rest, 

  “That would be nice.”

“Tell me what happened, and I’ll tell you how I know.” 

  Dennis wagers, looks at Jacob’s expression, unreadable.

  “Any more questions?”

“Preferences.” 

  “Could use a smoke.”

Jacob lights one with the tip of his own, hands it over, 

“Smile or eyes.”

  “Eyes.”

  “Taller?”

  “Mhm.”  

  “Intelligence or attraction?”

Dennis breathes in, 

  “A bit of both, I prefer smart men though.” 

  Jacob raises an eyebrow, 

  “Why?” 

  Dennis smiles, shrugs, “I think it's cute.”

  “Relationship or one night stand?”

  “You know the answer.”

  A chuckle.

A beat passes, a silence, Dennis wonders what’s coming next. 

  Jacob reads the stack of papers, lights a new cigarette,

“Your Family.”

  “No–.”

  “How was your relationship with them?”

  Dennis looks away, shuts his eyes, takes in a long breath, 

  “Standard.” he smiles, albeit shadowed by something more. “My sister Becky, Mom an’ Dad… big happy family.” 

  “Have a messed up life?” 

  “Hah–!” Dennis picks the smoke from his lips, 

  “My Mom and Sister are dead, so, yeah.” 

  “How?” 

  Dennis just looks away.

“Run away from home?” 

  Dennis nods, “I’m here, so yeah, I did. Ran away from everything.”

The recorder clicks, Jacob flips the tape inside it. 

  “After your mom died?”

  “After my sister did.” 

    Jacob looks perplexed, Dennis feels he has an edge over him with it. He goes back to smoking and the next question is asked,

  “Gotten kicked out?”

  “Technically. Dad said to make something of myself or leave. I left.” 

“So, your Mom and Sister die, and he,” Jacob pauses, exhales, “proposes that?”

  “Yep. ‘Big happy family’.” Dennis mocks.

  “Or, well, it was just us. Not much of a family at that point.” 

  Jacob grimaces,

   “Consider yourself pessimistic?”

Dennis shrugs, 

  “Next question.”

Jacob flips the page, sits back in his chair and looks at Dennis, then the page, Reminds him of his old therapist – 

  “Friends?”

  “Didn’t you already ask this?”

  “No, do you have a friend you hate?”

  “No.” 

“Do you have any friends?”

  Dennis flicks the ash of his cigarette, 

  “Are we friends?” 

  Jacob doesn't respond, 

  “Then no.”

 He flips to the next section, prematurely.

  “Best friends?” He looks tired.

  “Well,”

  Jacob looks up, goes to flip the page back over, 

  “It was Becky.” 

A pause, Jacob flips the page.

  “So, no friends then.” 

  Dennis laughs. What else is there to do besides laugh.

He can see through the page in Jacob’s hand, there's one line written stark on the paper and it has Dennis eager. Unsure how long they’d both been asking mindless questions, he clears his throat. 

  “So?” He taps the ash once more, to the damp floor, “Are we done?” 

“Who knows everything about you?” Jacob looks expectantly at him, says nothing besides the question.

  Dennis opens his mouth, scoffs, “What am I supposed to say–”

  Jacob doesn't budge.

   “Am I supposed to say me?” 

  Jacob seems amused by it all, Dennis’ slight confusion growing as he tries to stare him down.

   “It's just,” Dennis deescalates, 

   “You're acting like I should know?”

Dennis, after minutes, gives up. The other doesn’t prod. 

“Don’t worry, you will.”

The interview, or conversation, is finished. 

  The recorder is clicked  off.

Dennis stands up. 

  Jacob mirrors, speaks, 

  “Wait.”

  He does, as Jacob walks over to a white cabinet and opens the doors.

“You left your sweater on Joseph's couch.” 

The color drains from his face, and he almost drops his cigarette to the floor, 

  “I–.” it's the only word he can say as he tries to stutter out an excuse. 

The shirt is pressed to his chest and Dennis grabs it with his free hand. It seems cleaner than it had been originally. He tries not to think too much into it. 

 Jacob brings a hand down firm to Dennis’ shoulder. 

“Now, let’s try this again.” 

Pressed down into his chair once more, 

  Dennis simply nods.

[wh0lemilk0vich]

Hey, got a few questions about Fat!Eddie and Fat!Steve: How would they react if they started to get sausage fingers, moobs and/or double chins? Would they be embarrassed if they got big enough to waddle? Who'd have the bigger appetite? Would they get turned on by growing out of clothes (as in popping buttons and ripping out of clothes)? Would Steve lose some muscle if he got fat? How big do you think they could each possibly get? Would Dustin complement Steve on his weight gain?

Haha a lot of this stuff tends not to be stuff that I think about or compare. Like especially "sausage fingers", double chins, and mobility stuff (waddling, etc) are either characteristics that I'm personally quite self conscious about or feel kind of othering to me. So I tend to avoid those descriptions.

I don't really write active gaining because it's not particularly my thing either. So if anything I think they'd either be quite conscious about how they appear to others in terms of appetite and clothing, or apathetic/ambivalent to it. Clothing-wise they might even be slightly ashamed that their clothes don't fit their bodies the way they should, when they don't feel all that much larger.

I think either of them would be turned on by the reactions of their partner because it's validating to be found sexy. Feeling allowed to eat like anyone else would, or see what it's like to eat to excess, or not be ashamed of simply having a larger appetite that's interesting to me.

In the same way I think that there's room for either of them to be brought into that style of clothes popping kink, but it would be to see how their partner reacts because it's what they like.

Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy kinky scenarios, but I like the desire for growth to be external to the person growing. I think the things I've written are consisten with my view on the kink, but I have a very difficult time of putting it into words. I write mostly from my own experience and point of view and desires.

It's possible Steve could lose some muscle tone, it's not really something I think about a lot.

I could give multiple different answers to this, but I see either of them around the 300s. But for me a numbers don't do what a description does so it could be flexible. I don't have a numbers kink.

Um I don't know if Dustin would do that haha

But yes, out of all of this I like boy tits and I think they would like how their partner likes theirs, which would make them like them too.

[astronomyforastrologers]

Saturn Embraces Gonggong ~ 10 Mar 2023

Saturn Embraces Gonggong ~ 10 Mar 2023, Philip Sedgwick

Way out beyond Pluto, in the realm of Eris, ranges another powerful and profound dwarf planet, Gonggong. Though part of the planetary realm, Gonggong does not even get the appropriate level of respect deserved. It’s time for that to change.

In the early transiting days of Saturn in Pisces, he thrice aligns with Gonggong by conjunction. It would appear that Gonggong will receive more than a modicum of Saturnine attention and respect. The three dates of the partile Saturn to Gonggong conjunctions are: 3 May 2023, 6 August 2023 (Saturn retrograde), and 16 January 2024.

In Chinese mythology Gonggong was a strange morph of sorts... with a copper human head, an iron forehead, red hair, the body of a serpent, or often the head and torso of a human, a tail of a serpent. Either way, he was castable in any Marvel movie as the evildoer. Known as destructive and blamed for various cosmic catastrophes, he also caused the tilt of the Earth. In a ferocious battle with the fire god, Zhurong, Gonggong struck his head on Mount Buzhou. The mountain collapsed, ripped open the sky, and the Earth tilted. This unleashed horrific storms of flames and floods. Fortunately, the goddess Nuwa was there for damage control with the assistance of some trusty tortoises who supplied body parts for the sake of shoring up the Earth.

Where it happened to Gonggong

Back in the days before we were aware of COVID-19, I made the observation using transits with Gonggong that something big was coming out of China. Even with the Piscean influence I was not thinking virus. So now, Saturn and Gonggong sit together in life’s sandbox. Of course the United States had the recent incident with the Chinese weather balloon. China has its perpetual conflict regarding Taiwan. Now it is rumored China may provide lethal support to Russia for their war against Ukraine. None of that’s very cheery. Still, here’s hoping Saturn and Gonggong can play nice, or at least with measure, responsibility and reason.

So what can a person do during the Saturn to Gonggong transits?

Given Saturn’s conservative postures make a point to learn more about comprehending Chinese culture or Asian ways in general.

Should a person possess metaphysical curiosities, take up the I-Ching and throw some coins to come up with life-altering guidance. Study other Asian spiritual disciplines.

Consider the conflict between fire and water. Which do you believe is dominant and why? Ponder steam, one of the most mobilizing forces in nature... the direct result of water and fire in balanced combinations.

Sit in examination of the orbital elements of Gonggong. His heliocentric north node lies in Libra; his closest solar contact is Pisces.

Based upon the orbital elements, Gonggong’s entire quest is to explore the realm of interpersonal diplomacy... such cooperative measures that neither disadvantage or victimize any negotiating party.

Be curious as to how your adversaries secured the agendas and opinions that have, regardless of how askance you believe those views to be. Understanding how others come to the conclusions they do can be massively helpful when attempting to avert confrontation.

Donate to a cause that tugs your heart strings. If you cannot donate funds, perhaps volunteer and give some ergs of personal energy.

Engage in social activities that anyone of any race, culture, religion or political disposition can enjoy. Share freely and for a time engage as soul-filled human entities. Laugh as freely as possible during this activities (laughter and comedy are always antidotal for Saturn).

Stare into some m. c. escher prints while pondering how to navigate the straight and narrow.

Seek out life’s ironies. Delve into paradoxical thinking. Look for contradictions that are actually part of solutions. Consider a pen name.

When online try searching in anonymous modes. Use a VPN. Absolutely secure your online presence.

No matter what you do in the early days of understanding the nature of Gonggong, Saturn wants you to do it as if you mean it.

Couple of other Saturn notes here. On 6 October Saturn and Gonggong align heliocentrically. Signs of meaning shall be everywhere. Inference and nuance will not be in hiding.

On 29 November 2023 sees Saturn conjoin the degree where Gonggong is closest to the Sun (perihelion). Expect a sense of energized urgency for all possible symbolic and real representations of the ever unfolding planet.

More soon.

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[dumpdaily]

Maybe I'll write here more. I hate keep things to myself but also in a lot of ways this is basically the same as that. I don't really think anyone will read anything here.

I don't really know what I am doing with my life now. I was trying to get shit sorted so I could be with the person I love. But every time things seemed to be working out some bullshit would hit. Either real world bullshit like losing my job and not being able to walk. Or mental bullshit. Obviously one effects the other. But now he's dead. So it's not like I can figure out how to be with my love anymore because death is game over screen.

I'm basically lost as shit. I used to enjoy playing games, reading, trying to maintain basic life needs. Past tense. I've been struggling for a while with some of the stuff that's now hitting me full force. I'm finally regaining more of my mobility back. But what's the point. Why even bother trying. In a lot of ways he was my hope. We were both dealing with our own bullshit though. idk.

Always looking for reasons to keep trying; Always followed by the reality of the hopelessness I am now trying to outrun again. He said it sounded like despair. I go through these cycles and I can't see outside of this moment. Living as we do is a curse. Right now I am not being crushed by the weight of it all. But part of me is.

I repeat things like a mantra, like a prayer, like a cry for help. Saying the only constant in the world is change. Or all things in balance. Or whatever. Desperately reaching out for anyone to give me a reason to keep holding onto these threads. Holding onto these words. Holding onto something. So intangible.

Right now I don't know what I believe. I've lost people before but nothing has effected me like this. I wonder if he's a ghost haunting me. I talk to him like he is because the alternative is too much for me to bear (I also genuinely believe it but I struggle with reality so it's tricky). Is this okay? Suddenly I wonder about reincarnation and think it might be real.

I've never much cared what happens after we die. Always figured it doesn't matter because we'd all be dead when we're dead. You get buried or whatever and all that happens past that point of death is for those who are still alive. I recently learned that I probably get this view from my grandpa.

I might never recover. It feels like my heart has been ripped out. But it no longer feels like broken glass was shoved inside my chest trying to tear its way out. I'm able to keep food down again. Sometimes I still want to die to end all this bullshit and not have to deal with life. I am so tired. Exhausted. But sometimes I feel okay. And I think of him always. I have been changed. And I will keep changing. Perhaps one day things will feel okay. Perhaps things will be good. Perhaps. Knowing my luck I'll die as soon as things seem to be working out. Whatever is to come is still undecided and that at least is something on which we can rely.