#RIP kaidan

[the-cryptographer]

Am only an hour into ME and can already see why Ashley so hated. Aggro issues xenophobia woman with an annoying voice? Basically on the fandom kill-list for life. Fortunately or unfortunately I'm going to have to choose between her and slightly passive aggressive nice 🙂 guy, and since it's me choosing between someone who brings all the explosive interpersonal issues to the game and someone who brings very few, haha- I think we all know who's going to end up dead.

[bearforceone3]

virmire survivor duo doodle for n7 day

[kaidanalenkosprmanager]

Sophie Shepard & Dominik Shepard (ME2)

Ft. Cmdr. Kaidan Alenko & Zaeed Massani MIRA'S MORE CANON ME2 "We both did the best we could do underneath the same moon- in different galaxies..." AKA: The aftermath of Lair of the Shadow Broker. Recruiting the Not-Dossier: Apollo. Mass Effect 2: Legendary Edition (2021) + Bonus :)

[beckiboos]

Inigo- Thank the Gods, have you come to kill me? Please kill me quickly, I can bear the guilt no longer

Calliope- Sir you are extremely naked

Inigo- I do not deserve clothes for what I did to you! I killed you! Please! Kill me now! I can live in shame no longer!

Calliope- Look I don't know you, you really have the wrong person here. Please put on some clothes...

Inigo- I sold them! The guards took all my possessions when I paid them to put me in here. They did not believe I killed you! You must remember your wretched excuse for a friend Inigo?

Calliope- That's true, I'm not dead. I think you're confusing me with someone else-

Inigo- But you are the person I remember! Only you can help me atone for what I have done!

Lucien- This insane Khajiit is going to be leaving with us isn't he?

Taliesin- Surely she's got better taste than that

Kaidan- I'll go in and check

Calliope- Look I'm really not who you think I am but come with us. If you really think only I can help you make up for your past, come with us and help us fight dragons

Kaidan- Ughhhhh

Inigo- Really? I can come with you! Yes! I'll fight at your side or die defending you! Yes! Let us go!

Calliope- Clothed right? Here I think I have something for you...

Inigo- I look handsome yes?

Calliope- Very handsome Inigo. Welcome to the gang! I'm Calliope, This is Kaidan, in the hall there's Lucien-

Lucien- Told you so

Taliesin- Great another stray. At least this one can kill things

Lucien- HEY!

[xjunkriidx]

*Kaidan reading a letter the courier gave him while staying in Falkreath*

Kaidan: “Sorry dude, missed your letters. I assumed we’d meet at the tavern. Whatever, I don’t care.”

Kaidan: ‘Whatever, I don’t care?’ What the fuck is his problem?

Kaidan: *furiously scribbling*

*Inigo, chilling in Whiterun*

Inigo: “Do you even want to hang out?” Oh, that’s considerate.

Kaidan: “Like I said, whatever”? Fuck this guy! Talos, you—

Inigo: “… are fucking priceless.” Awww. You’re the one—

Kaidan: “… who’s fucking priceless”?! Oh, this motherfucker right here…

Kaidan: Mhmm. Okay. You wanna go—

Inigo: “…right now?” Huh. Guess I can do that.

Kaidan: “Okay, let’s go”?! He said ‘OKAY LET’S GO’?! ALRIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU REALLY WANNA—

Inigo: “Do this right now?” Fuck yeah—

Kaidan: “LET’S DO IT”?! OH, YA FUCKING ASSHOLE!

Inigo: “First round’s mine”.

Kaidan: WE’RE GOING ROUNDS, ASSHOLE. IT’S GONNA BE A FUCKING STREET FIGHT.

[skullmoss]

you're gonna carry that weight.

[wellthebardsdead]

Kaidan: *waiting outside henwens room in winking skeever* why are you going to this party anyway? We saved Esbern, got all the information we can out of those monsters. Why are you willingly going back in there?

Henwen: *from behind the door* to keep up appearances and to see what else I can squeeze out of them. I’ve turned down all of Ondolemars invitations if I do it any more he’ll start getting suspicious of me and my ‘helpless little prince’ act.

Kaidan: let him get suspicious then. *huffs* I don’t like how they look at you, and the idea of their hands on you makes me feel sick.

Henwen: I’ll be fine, love. *steps out wearing a floor length white robe hugging his figure in all the right places and looking particularly tight in the chest area* How do I look?

Kaidan: Yep nope you’re not going. *picks him up and carrys him back into the room closing and locking the door*

[solstheimtxt]

Who was gonna mention the sky high trophy is hilarious with Lash bc i spend half of the time going yoink or weeee

Like got that 1.5 second recharge time baybeyyy

[libartz]

Keeping Zeb as a vampire or possibly turning him into a werewolf but definitely not making him a regular elf again, not for angst reasons but because curing him would ruin the allegory I accidentally made. I came up with a possible instory reason for a cure not working (or rather he can get cured but it would kill him)

but it’s not for manpain it’s the *themes*

The feeling inherently ‘wrong’ and undeserving of love. Loneliness, feeling different and not belonging. Worry about hurting people. Going through a tough time that would be manageable if only you weren’t alone but no-one else understands. Being excluded, having to hide yourself to fit in but it’s never enough because They Might Find Out What You Really Are. Isolating yourself for survival even when you desperately don’t want to and it just makes everything harder. The struggle to find people who accept you for who you are.

It could be allegory for a bunch of stuff but getting rid of the thing would undermine the message

[powderandclay]

Obsessed with playing Mass Effect over and over again like this story will literally never end in anything but tragedy. Shepard might be an asshole or a saint, a caring friend or a hardened soldier, a complex enigma or an open book, and any combination or in between thereof.

And it doesn't matter because Jenkins always dies. And Ash dies, or Kaidan dies. And Shepard dies. And Shepard lives. And your crew dies. And the little boy is shot down. And Palaven burns. And Illium falls. And earth is ripped apart. And Shepard dies.

You can't save them. Nearly a dozen playthroughs of hard work, an endless uphill climb, and even if you get it picture perfect, take every quest, save every hostage and gun down every bad guy, your reward is the ugly choice, the mirror of war: how many lives will you sacrifice to take one more breath? Will you kill the geth you just painstakingly saved for a single inhale on the charred remains of an exploded station? Or will you let the narrative go the way it's meant to and just let Shepard die?

So Shepard lives, or Shepard dies, and the story always ends the same goddamn way. And you queue up Mass Effect 1 again because you have to.

Keep trying. Maybe it'll turn out this time.

[average-mako-enjoyer]

Shepard likes 'em dangerous

Shepard, watching Kaidan reaving someone to death: Isn't he awesome?

Liara: …

Shepard, dreamy: I bet he can rip us all in half…

Liara: Can you please sound less enthusiastic about it?

Shepard: Nope.

[angelicsjn]

i’m curious, but what would it be like if the famous!yans announced their relationship publicly (I'm curious about Jae lmao)

YOUR THREE YANDERES.

A N: I love this idea. Jae is always a wild card, me thinks, lol.

A B O U T: Roman, Jae, and Kaidan go public with you.

W A R N I N G S: None.

— ROMAN BEAUREGARD.

The world stood still in that moment — your face and name slathered across articles and Formula 1 Wag accounts online. You didn't want it to happen. It was the last thing you wanted. His fans are brutal and well. He's one of the most famous F1 drivers in history. It's a lot to live up to.

"Have you seen it all?" You asked, shoving your screen in his face. He leaned his head back, his hand ruffling his dark hair, his brows furrowed for a moment before looking away with an unbothered expression, "Yes, I made it so." Was all he said, his accent strong on his tongue.

It sent you spiralling because what does he mean by that? He wanted everyone to know? Without you knowing? The comments were turned off on each post, the articles stating your business and even stating that you're just 'an average person'. You wanted to throw up.

"I see no point in keeping our relationship a secret — I'm not going anywhere, neither are you. The world deserves to know that, no?" He looked your way, his grey eyes staring into yours almost threateningly. Was this to test your loyalty?

— JAE 'NIKO' LEE.

Your week consisted of masks and hiding away at home — it sucked. But the sadistic side of Jae loved it. Being able to keep you home, "Just in case. It's better to be safe. Those sasaeng's are crazy, baby." He said, but internally he was grinning.

He didn't do it on his own accord. At first, he was angry, of course. It could have damaged his reputation as an idol. To have the thought of someone hurting you. It made him angry to even imagine.

But, once he saw the aftermath, he was beyond ecstatic. To see you only leave the house covered up, to stay home and depend on him. It made his ego flair up bigger than before, "I'll keep you safe. At least we don't have to hide now!" He sang, his voice seemingly innocent, but now his teeth were deeper in your skin than ever before.

— KAIDAN WOLFE.

If it wasn't public from the get-go, it's public very early all because of him. Maybe it's a few soft launch pics. Your hand in a photo. Both of your meals side by side. The back of your head in a store. Whatever. Even if you're not keen on the posts, he simply says, "Don't worry, love. I wouldn't post anything to upset you!" — as he is posting things that are upsetting you.

Then, one day, he full-on posts a video with you in it. Maybe a recap of the month. Or him doing a silly video where you just so happen to be in view, clearly on accident!

It blows up clearly. And he's quick to respond, of course influencer style: sat down in front of the camera with a ringlight and a serious face. After a few days of grilling from his fans, he had enough, "I love you all and all of the support but if you can't support me and my relationship and my partner then please unfollow me. Let's only spread love." He'd say, and then soon after, people were making couple edits of you both, saying you're the cutest.

Thing is, Kaidan may be delusional to the point of insanity, but if anyone hurts you, he sees right through that part of his brain and protects you — but because his fans are his income, he tries to be as polite as he can. He's not that dumb to leave his fans to rip into you because 'they're just supporting me!' He loves you too much to do that.

[mosscreeperarchived]

When Shepard and Kaidan have/adopt kids those are going to be the most protected children in the galaxy.

Their parents are the first two human spectres, one of which curb stomped the reapers and the other of which is one of the most powerful human biotics (or both of which are if you play a biotic Shep)

They have Jack as an aunt, who will rip apart whoever so much as looks at them wrong

Their other aunt is the goddamn Shadow Broker

Uncle James Vega would 100% punch someone out for them

I wouldn’t put it past auntie Miranda to threaten someone for those kids

Tali and Garrus, the power couple who can murder you at close and long range

The entirety of the krogan race

Kasumi

Angry space grandpa definitely calls them crotch goblins and such but also shoots people who are mean to them

I’m not convinced EDI (who is definitely alive because BioWare can kiss my ass) wouldn’t just dox cyberbullies while Joker cheers he her and also shoots at them from a fighter with Steve as his copilot

[heroofshield]

Whumptober Day 4: Hallucinations (Mass Effect, Shakarian)

Takes place post-ME3

--

Everything hurt.

Coughing the dust away, Shepard slowly came to consciousness and let out a faint groan; her body screaming in pain. Breathing labored, she slowly turned her head and blinked to focus her eyes. Gray steel and debris filled her vision and it took a moment for her to realize that she was buried somewhere in the Citadel.

Unconsciously shifting, she nearly blacked out again from the pain that ripped through her body. Not sure how long she lay there, just trying to breath until the pain was no longer blinding, Shepard thought she heard a muffled thunk in the distance.

"Someone-" Shepard started to say but a cough racked through her body and it took awhile for her to clear her throat. Licking her dry lips, she tried again, "Someone there?"

Silence greeted her and Shepard tried to order her mind so she could think about her next move. Gritting her teeth, she slowly raised the arm that her omni-tool was on and activated the distress signal on it. Letting her arms fall, she blinked back the tears that the simple action had brought and let herself fall back into unconsciousness.

After that Shepard hovered between life and death, her mind hallucinating as she saw her mother, Anderson, even Kaidan appear and talk to her. Head lolling to one side, she wished that Garrus was with her."It's not that beach we talked about, but at least we'd be together." she thought dimly, it getting harder and harder to breathe as time went on. "Because there's no Shepard without Vakarian."

[skullmoss]

i got that mass effect brainrot

kaidan is just never going to make it out of a ME1 playthrough alive unless i play as male shepard (which i won't......)

because like.

the Plot of having shepard flirt with him and having them skirt around a romantic relationship only for him to die on virmire is /fistclench/

it's too good. sorry man i use you as angst fodder for my shepard. i'm saving her for hot alien ass in ME2.

[strawberrykidneystone]

brief moments of intimacy with mass effect companions

the commander shepard showing affection to their lover <3

a/n: i kinda like this format bc i need more practice writing for the other companions besides garrus😭 some of these are set in ME2 and some are set in ME3 oopsies

gn!shepard x mass effect companions

ao3 version

garrus:

-during missions, shepard is always at the front and center of her companions, guiding them through even the worst circumstances

-however, the way back is a different story

-with the rest of the crew in front of them and walking back to the normandy, shepard hangs back and walks next to garrus, giving him a small nod

-he nodded back and flickered his mandible, looking straight forward as he felt their hand lace with his, giving him a reassuring squeeze as if to say “it’s okay, we’re both okay”

-garrus squeezed back and leaned down to their height, pressing his plate lips against their forehead very briefly as they finally arrived back at the ship they both called home

liara:

-she was holed up in her room, combing through all of the information they had on the protheans for the umpteenth time as if she would magically see something new

-unsurprisingly, she didn’t

-what did surprise her, however, was a pair of arms wrapping around her waist and a nose burying into her neck

-thankfully, she could recognize her lover's embrace anywhere

-by the goddess, she was so wrapped up in her research that she didn’t even hear the doors open

-and what better time to take a break than with her favorite person in the galaxy?

tali:

-she was busy tweaking the core reactor in the engineering room to run at full capacity

-apparently, more time had passed than she thought because the next thing she knew, there was a tap on her shoulder

-she looked over the shoulder that was tapped, but no one was there

-a tap came on her other shoulder so she looked, and the same thing

-she finally completely turned around and found a smiling shepard holding up a picnic basket

-tali apologized for losing track of time but they stopped her, taking her hand and leading her to the cat walk where the core shined above them

-shepard laid out a blanket, setting up tali’s sanitized food and their own human food

-they sat directly across front each other, each sacrificing a hand to hold the other as they ate their respective foods

-a picnic in the stars, at least a very warm one

kaidan:

-kaidan woke up to shepard’s side of the bed being barely warm anymore, they were always up before him

-he yawned and stretched his arms up, sitting up and tossing his legs over the side of the bed to get the day started

-the door suddenly opened and there was shepard with two steaming cups of hot coffee in their hands

-kaidan couldn’t help but smile, they even indulged his “ridiculous” moose head mug (he brought it from home)

-shepard yawned and walked over to him, gently handing him his cup before pecking his lips

-as they turned to walk away, kaidan caught their hand and pulled them down into a deeper kiss, tasting stale coffee on their lips from an earlier cup

-shepard withdrew with a smile and shook their head playfully, ruffling his already messy bedhead hair

-what a nice way to start the day

ashley:

-it had been a long day in the war room and ashley was more frustrated than ever, feeling helpless in this war

-shepard caught up with her walking back to the elevator and snaked their hand around her waist, pulling her closer to them

-she couldn’t help but smile, leaning into their touch and leaning her head on their shoulder

-she may not be able to do much in negotiations, but she knew humankind was in good hands with her fearless leader

jack:

-after narrowly saving grissom academy, the kids were set up in the common area as they waited for another shuttle

-jack was still heated from the entire situation and was currently ripping shepard a new one

-at the end of her spiel, she slapped them and pointed at their chest “that’s for cooperating with cerberus in the first place”

-then, she grabbed them by their collar and pulled them into a rough kiss, their teeth clacking at the first pull in

-jack pulled back for air and looked at shepard with a blush on her cheeks “and that’s for saving my kids… it might be nice to see you again too.”

-shepard chuckled and pulled her close by her waist, so close that their noses were almost touching, “it’s nice to see you too jack.”

miranda:

-meeting miranda on the citadel after hearing about her sister was hard, especially when miranda insisted she needed to do it alone

-but if anyone would understand wanting to do something by yourself, it was shepard

-so they did what they could, pulling her into a tight hug that she returned with full enthusiasm, their rib cages crushing against each other

-a small sob escaped miranda and shepard cupped the back of her head, turning their head to the side and kissed the top of her hair, shielding her from the world so she could compose herself

-miranda took a deep breath, taking in their familiar scent and calming down in their arms

-everything would be alright as long as she had shepard by her side

thane:

-he was sitting in his usual seat in the hospital at the citadel, he was here more than her liked

-a small coughing fit started and his chest heaved, a dizzy feeling going straight to his head

-suddenly, he felt grounded when he felt a familiar hand rubbing circles on his back

-he didn’t even have to turn to know who it was, shepard sat down next to him and he comfortably leaned into their embrace, resting his head on their shoulder

-this place wasn’t so lonely with them, he would embrace death once again knowing that they would join him across the sea

jacob:

-jacob was doing his daily crunches in the weapons room (unsurprisingly)

-shepard initially came in to switch out her shotgun for another she found on the field, but this was even better

-jacob acknowledged then with a small wave, staying committed to his usual workout routine

-that was fine, shepard smirked and walked over to him, kneeling down in front of his legs

-he was a little confused at first, but they had perfectly timed it to when he started his full-sit ups, kissing him every time he made it all the way up

-he did way more sets than he was expecting to that day and could barely move his torso the next day

-worth it though

a/n: if a request is made for more characters i would be happy to add them in!!