#REQUESTS STILL OPEN IF ANYONE WANTS ME 2 DRAW STUFF 4 THEM :3 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

herbgerblin · 2 years ago

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Hi Herb!! I was wondering if you had any advice on opening commissions? I enjoy your art immensely and you were one of the first people I thought of to ask since I know you do commissions on occasion

Sorry if this is totally weird, I am just at a complete loss! Thanks for taking the time to read this!

These are things I wish I had figured out when I started selling art commissions. Also, feel free to use my current commission form to pattern your own. (also if anyone >.> wants to commission me, I am open <.<)

Step 1: Write a Terms of Service

Good terms of service will manage the expectations of your clients, establish a level of professionalism, and protect you if someone tries to argue something already made clear in writing. You can keep your ToS really simple, but it's good practice to include the following:

What kind of art you will/won't do (I don't do nfts)

Estimated duration of the project (2-4 weeks is my M.O.)

Number of revisions (more than 3, I add a fee)

When and how often you will update the client

Rights that you retain as an artist/permit to the client

Note: This mainly applies to personal/non-commercial work. If you are approached to make art for a game/magazine/website, do a ton more research. You will need to write out a contract that makes things Boringly Clear, and you will want to retain all of your rights as an artist.

Step 2: PRICES (scream)

Everyone starts out underselling. I'm underselling (I'm trying to get better.) Just go at your own pace. Look at what other artists are offering, but don't just look at the quality of their work. Think about your turnaround time, your style, and your target audience. If you are a fast worker or very detailed, that's worth a pay bump. Niche communities will pay solid money for artists to cater to them. So for example, if you draw fetish art, you have more room to charge higher.

ALWAYS GET PAYMENT UP FRONT. You can offer half upfront and half upon completion. If it's a big or long-term project, it's okay to go 30/70. BUT NEVER START WORK WITHOUT SOME SORT OF COMPENSATION. I just had a client that has not paid me the 2nd half and they are blacklisted. This rarely happens but it does happen.

Once you think you've got a price chart you feel comfortable with, add $20. Do it, even if it feels wrong. You may have to pay transaction fees, or the work (often) takes longer than expected. It'll be a small mercy to yourself to account for these things. Raise your prices a little bit each year because you are growing in experience and inflation (scream) is a thing that affects the arts too.

Step 3: INTEGRATE AND AUTOMATE

I wish I had done this step years ago, but I slacked off, and therefore staying organized was a nightmare. The less "business" stuff you have to do manually, the more time you can focus on "creative" stuff.

Make a google form. Make it as easy for the client to input information as possible. In the settings, set it so that responses will go to an excel file. The questions you ask will be the titles of the fields, so keep them short and easy to read. Reference image attachments will save to google drive.

You can set it up so that you will get an email whenever you get a new response (you might want to make a separate email account specifically for commissions.) Prewrite confirmation responses and save them as templates so that you're not writing the same email to clients over and over again.

Set reminders for responding to clients, requesting payment, and finishing work. This can be through google calender or some other app. You are responsible for facilitating communication. Even if the email is just, "Hey, just letting you know the work is still in progress, I will send you a wip in 1-2 days." Client assurance is high priority.

I use paypal invoice for payments. It means I have to pay a transaction fee, but I factor that into my prices. It also ensures that I have clear documentation for orders, I can send reminders easily if I haven't been paid, and it just looks more professional overall. You can use whatever service feels most comfortable, just make sure you practice good bookkeeping (*stares at my taxes in horror*)

Step 4: Mockups and Descriptions

Provide examples of the work that you are going to. Make a mockup of busts/half body/full body, etc. Don't include anything you don't intend to actually produce.

Make sure that your form includes room to answer EVERY question about the commission that you might have. This will reduce the amount of back and forth you need to have with your client. You want to be able to get that request, confirm it, send that invoice, and jump on it ASAP.

Step 5: Start small, be honest, be firm

If you haven't done commissions before, have a limited number of slots available. Take break time after you've finished a certain amount. Don't languish over an art piece. At some point, it will be as done as it can be. Send it to the client, and keep rolling.

If you feel like you are getting overwhelmed, tell your client. It's bad practice to go on hiatus and not notify them while they're waiting on an update. If you genuinely forget to touch base with them, do so as soon as possible. Apologize, then finish the work as soon as you can. Refund if you think that's the most polite route, but completing the task is usually more appreciated.

Be cordial, but firm. People will try to bully you over little things, but don't give in. Ignore folks who say your prices are too high. Make it clear that if they ask for more than what is agreed, you will charge a fee. If you feel like a request is sketchy, get a second opinion.

obligatory paypal link: help me pay kravitz jr's vet bills

#Okay I'm sleepy i'm going to bed #i hope this was helpful #i wrote this at midnight whoops #tips #advice #art commission advice #art advice #art business

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the-lone-wolf-artist · 4 months ago

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A Big Changes to this Blog that was Long Overdue...

Hello Everyone…

It's been quite a while since I last posted anything on this blog, well beside repeats of Desolate Paradise content.

You see, a lot of stuff has changed over the years since I first started this blog in 2016 to now 2024, man a long time huh? Anyway, I never expected the good, the bad, and the ugly things and how it would affect my life. I won't get into the details, but basically I'm just like anyone else in the world that deals with hardships and loss. I found it hard to stay passionate and creative with my art and my mindset, that it got to a point where I had enough…

I stopped doing everything that I loved the most and took a huge break from it.

While I was stewing, reflecting, and just recharging my batteries, I was doing other hobbies during this time that I enjoyed. I was writing for a while through the many fandom Au's I've created and I slowly started getting my spark back and my creative juices flowing again.

I started doodling, sketching and doing art again, even though they may not be the best of what I've done before. I'm still happy with them and it's getting me back to what I love doing most.

I then reached a decision on what I want to do with this blog to not only solve the inactivity but also better myself in the process.

The Big Changes to this Blog

These are the "Big Changes" that will be happening to the The Lone Wolf Artist Blog…

As I mentioned before I do have other hobbies that I have developed over the years that I love doing behind the scenes, such as:

Writing

Animating

Sewing

Beading jewelry

Resin Art

Diamond Art

These are the few prime examples of things I like doing that has expanded my creative space and mindset besides drawing all the time. The reason I haven't posted these types of content was because I was too focused on making masterpieces and trying to keep up with drawing inactivity on this blog.

I started to learn that it was making me unhappy and too stressed out, but that's all about to change for this blog with these hobbies and the other fandom's I'm interested in too! You see the The Lone Wolf Artist Blog is gonna be my personal space for my other hobbies and the other fandom's that I enjoy beside Motorcity, like:

One Piece

Red Dead Series

Studio Ghibi Content

Monster Hunter Series

Evil West

Okami

And Many More Fandom Content I enjoy!

These are the few examples of the other kinds of fandom that I enjoy and love. My interest goes beyond just Motorcity. I have written many fandom Au's stories during my huge break and I'm dying to bring them to life!

Basically this blog is gonna be a place where I get to do what I want to do and you guys get to see the kinda stuff I created through my written fandom Au's stories instead of focusing on one fandom!

Now the Future Changes of this Blog

Now with these big changes happening with this new direction to the Lone Wolf Blog, it doesn't stop there.

You see I do have other changes that will be coming in the future too! Such as:

1: Question Box Opening [Reason for the Idea: It is where you guy's can ask me questions. (FYI: Their will be Rules to prevent Chaos.)]

2: Request Box Opening [Reason for the Idea: Where you can request drawing ideas for me to draw with rules too. (FYI: I'm a bit undecided about the idea right now. If this idea becomes official, it will be a Limited Box Opening of how many I would take; basically an on and off box.)]

3: Previews of W.I.P.S. Artwork's [Reason for the Idea: I know my art takes a lot of time and patience that causes these long pauses in my blog activity, so maybe I'll post some W.I.P'S of my art content process time to keep up the activity.]

4: Previews of W.I.P.S. Animation's [Reason for the Idea: I sometimes dapple in animation every now and then, maybe I'll post some rough animations that I'm really proud of through my simple animation journey.]

5: Short AU Stories [Reason for the Idea: When I'm not drawing or my hand is slightly sore, I like writing small stories in between from my AU's, maybe I'll post these little stories, but no promises I'm not the best writer but not awful.]

6: Small Comic AU's & Scene's [Reason for the Idea: I write a lot and sometimes I like to take the time to bring these scene's to life.]

7: Gaming Clips [Reason for the Idea: Sometimes during the weekend breaks, I play games to give my creative brain a break. Every now and then I capture awesome, funny and goofy moments during my playthrough's that I'm wiling to share.]

These are a few of my suggestions… I will makes post's when I make the final decisions.

Now The Desolate Paradise Blog Issue

The Desolate Paradise Blog (AKA: Motorcity X Wolf Rain's AU Crossover Story) is going be on hiatus in indefinitely…

I made this decision because I want to focus on my other fandom AU's without focusing on this one all the time and causing me to be stressed out and trying to force myself to keep working on it. It wasn't fun anymore and that's not what I wanted for this AU…

So I'm going to put it on hiatus effective immediately, will it return?…

I don't know right now. For now its on pause and needs to stay like that, until I'm ready to come back to it or.. maybe give up on it entirely…only time will tell.

Thank You for Reading and Listening

Thank you all for listening and reading this. It means a lot to me, I hope it clears up a lot of the stuff that's been going on with the inactivity to not only the The Lone Wolf Artist Blog but also the Desolate Paradise Blog too.

It was kinda bothering me for a while and I felt I needed to express it and want to make a change for the better.

I hope you are excited about the new changes that will be happening for the better and hope you all enjoy the new content that will be posted on the The Lone Wolf Artist Blog soon!

With that I bid you farewell and I shall return to the darkness again.

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arrow487356 · 2 years ago

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Hello, I’m remaking this account into being my writing account. If you want you can send me requests and all that. But here’s some rules and who I will write for. Also this will be long but I have a surprise at the end. (Don’t skip)

Rules

1. I will not have, racism, homophobia, bullying, bigotry, or anything that involves just being a dick. Be nice or you’ll get blocked. No second chances.

2. I will right 17+ stuff (it’s 16 here but I’m doing 17+) I’m hoping that if anyone who isn’t that age or from somewhere it’s not that age they will skip that post. (Please don’t read that stuff anyone whose not legally at the age of consent. It’s important don’t be like younger me)

3. All of this isn’t real life (most will fictional characters but still) and please don’t go up and just show your favorite celebrity this stuff. It’s really awkward.

4. Have fun, this is writing and most of the time I’ll write just anything involving certain things since a lot of the people who I wrote for don’t have that many things about them.

5. I won’t have a main tag list, but I will take before for a specific post. Just a warning.

6. Understand I have a life outside of this. Don’t rush me and all that. I was a idiot on here before and this kinda became a dark place for me before so please please don’t rush me. If I don’t make a post or send you a little letter to you in 2 days. Remind me by messaging me. Thanks.

Now to the people who I will post about and what I won’t post about.

The lost boys

The boys

Stranger things

As of right now these are all I will write about, i will add updates and will change it by switching out people or while fandoms.

What I will and what I won’t write about

I will write

Supernatural type of stuff

Hybrids

Nsfw

Sfw

Fluff

Slight angst

Slight Drugs

Alcohol

yandere

Some kinks (praise, degradation, restraints, pain, blood, knife, and some others, I will let you know if I’m not comfortable with things if I don’t list them)

What I won’t be okay with

Anything involving guns that are loaded unless it’s a murderer plot but not guns during sex in anything sorry not my thing

No Suicide

No really hard drugs, even though I have bands that did them in real life, I’m drawing the line after cigarettes, vaping, weed, and prescriptions.

Kinks I won’t do, rape/non-con (even though ill have yandere), bestiality (so no fucking in animal forms in hybrid plots), no murder kinks, piss play or scat (just ew) vore, no forced breeding (again ew) and don’t ask for incest. If you do I will block you.

If anyone goes over the line with these I’ll give them a warning but if they do it again I’ll block them. I’m sorry but I hate these things. Please be nice. I’ll open my inbox again, and just be a decent (if over 17) horny person. (If not 17) just be nice and don’t make me have to block you. I’m not going to check every single ones pf page but if I have to I will and then block you if you aren’t over 16.

Thank you all for reading here’s a cookie 🍪

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jeontaehui · 3 years ago

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What are some of the weirdest things Taehee has done off cam?

QUESTIONABLE THINGS TAEHEE HAS DONE OFF CAM — A THREAD BY USER MRKSVTT

1. starting this one off with a banger

💚✨지금 우리✨💚 (181026)

“do you guys want to know what taehee did last night?” yuta starts. his eyes looked serious as if he were about to tell them something big, but the only girl in the group already knew what he was about to share with them. “i was doing my business in the bathroom,” haechan couldn’t stop the giggles that escaped him, “and as soon as it struck twelve, a piece of paper slid through the bathroom door.”

“i was surprised but you know, i opened it and it was a birthday card from taehee!” the group bursts out laughing at his story. taehee sure had some sweet intentions, but her tactics were quite out of the blue. “it had glitter everywhere,” yuta grinned, before suddenly drawing a thin line on his face, “and i mean everywhere.”

2. she sure loves to challenge herself

💚쩗쭙쫩💚 (180308)

“you should let taehee do aegyo,” the dreamies have been known to pit their leader to act cute during lives, saying it was the fans who have requested him to do so, but mark may have found a way to get out this time, “she kept doing it the other day.”

taehee’s brows furrow at the accusation, “i did not!”

“you did! you kept going like, ‘taehee is hungry.’, ‘taehee wants taeyong hyung to do this.’, ‘doyoung hyung told taehee..’ blah blah blah,” he answers back, and chenle starts to giggle at their bickering, “you do aegyo, you were doing it!”

“i was challenging myself!” she defended.

“to do aegyo?”

“no, to speak in third person!” she puts a hand to her chest as the others start cracking up, “and ‘taehee is hungry,’ i did not talk in a cute way! i talked normally!” she grits her teeth at mark in annoyance causing their laughs to grow louder, their eldest apologizing in between wheezes. if there really is anyone in the world who hated aegyo, it would be her.

3. remember when taehee would tell renjun she could see ghosts? so umm ……

시티고 1학년 27반 (200401)

“ah but do you know the other day,” jungwoo puts his chopsticks down as he begins his story, “i got up to drink a glass of water. i think it was around three in the morning that time?”

“oooo,” taeil hums excitedly, “is this a scary story?”

“i closed the door to our room and suddenly heard like someone mumbling in the living room,” his eyes widen as he recalls his feelings from that night, “i was so scared.”

“i took a peek around the corner and it was taehee, but her hair was like, in front of her face,” jungwoo continues, “then she kept walking like in circles mumbling something. i still got water despite that, but as i was drinking, she’d suddenly stop .... and continue walking again.” he lets out a sigh from his mouth as the other members start snickering, “it was really creepy.”

“you know her,” jaehyun says softly, smiling as he continued picking at his food, “she just might be tired or something ... or practicing.”

yuta chuckles, “maybe she was practicing rap.” this causes another chorus of laughter to emit from the three except jungwoo, who was still terrified of what he saw the other night, “right, it could be that....”

4. the lengths they’d go to

웰컴썬💚 (200806)

“there’s a funny episode that happened the other day,” haechan giggles, a wide smile spreading on his cheeks as he talked with czennies, “this was with taehee noona.”

“i wanted to play games with her, like league (of legends) on the computer, but she said she was lazy, so i was like, ‘noona, please,” he says cutely with his lips forming into a subtle pout, “but she really didn’t want to. i even went to go to their dorms to convince her, but then literally twenty minutes later...”

“twenty minutes, guys,” he taps an imaginary watch on his wrist, “i hear her outside my room hanging out with johnny hyung and doyoung hyung! i got sulky, i didn’t even come out.”

“the next day, she comes back, looking for her charger that she left the previous day. when she asked me if i knew where it was, i sorta gave myself away,” the corner of his lips twitch into a smile, “i said, ‘how would i know? i was just playing the games we could’ve played together if you weren’t ‘lazy’,’ and she knew just from how i said it that i...” haechan chuckles, “hid her charger.”

“she left after telling me to give it back— which i obviously did not do. i also had something to do that day, so i left the dorms, but when i came back, my mouse and keyboard were gone!” a disbelieving laugh comes out of him after, and he sees how the comments were filled with how funny their dynamic was.

“i immediately went to their dorms, even mark hyung knew why i was there,” he continues, “and for like five days, noona didn’t have her charger and i didn’t have my mouse and my keyboard.”

“but you know, we’re like that. friends do that,” haechan nods, smiling as he looks down on the floor, “we eventually called a truce and got our things back. we even played league after that so everyone’s happy.”

mark later shares in another vlive that taehee had actually kept haechan’s stuff in random places every day, even going as far as hiding his mouse in one of their pillowcases to make sure he never finds it when he visits.

5. the last one because it’s late already and i think i should get some sleep like this dude

정맠 💚 (200504)

“but why were you microwaving a glass of ice the other day?” mark asks beside taehee, the corner of his lips quirking into an amused smirk.

while jungwoo starts cracking up from her other side, the girl in between them shakes her head as she tries to explain herself. “i was meant to put my jug in the refrigerator,” she tells them, “but i must’ve mistakenly put it in the freezer—��

“how come did you not know—”

“i was tired,” taehee laughs, looking back at the live, “that’s normal, right? you get tired, you do some clumsy things like that— whatever. anyways, i wanted to drink water so i microwaved it.”

“you could’ve just gotten yourself a new glass,” jungwoo throws at her, raising his brows questioningly at her antics. “no, but i wanted it warm,” she mumbles.

“then get from the dispenser!” mark starts laughing loudly, his body shaking as jungwoo and taehee held eye contact for what seems a minute. both were stunned.

“ahh, really, jeon taehee,” jungwoo shakes his head before looking back at the camera, “you.... you need to get some sleep.”

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apparentlyaswarmofbees · 4 years ago

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Late Top 10 Posts of 2020!

I have fun seeing my posts rise and fall on the Top Posts list, I kind of forgot to do this before but since I have way too much time right now I decided I might as well give it a go with a bit of comentary!

#10- Pact Marks

This one was literaly made at a moment of epiphany, I really enjoy the concept. I should mention I also really enjoyed the Unconventional Pact Marks made by @/astaroth1357, you guys should go check it out lololol

#9- Papa Mammon's Feathery Babies

This one was also an epiphany I wrote after watching videos of crows being cute, for a long while this one post was actually the second top post of all time! It still gets some rises in notes from time to time when new people find it and reblog it! And again, a huge thanks and all the love to @/hhhany82 for their great fanart made inspired on this post of mine, I was over the moon and I still am everytime I think about it ♡♡♡♡♡

#8- A Compilation of Accidents

After reading many headcanons of people using the concept of accident for agnst purposes (which are great ngl), I decided that no, accidents can make you laugh too, and so I wrote this inspired in my own personal accidents in life l o l.

#7- In What Way You Will Match With Them

After a long ass while opening dozens of tabs on my computer of matching things, writing this was hella fun. With some I had trouble deciding on what to match but in the end it was worth it uvu.

#6- MORE Small Things to Imagine

Oh man I remember exactly how I felt then. Many many times I made a small draft in an attempt to make a somewhat continuation to Small Things to Imagine but it never felt quite right. The reopening of requests at that time was really the catalyst of my inspiration. It is the shortest of the series of Small Things to Imagine but I consider it an important warm up for the reopening of requests and a weight being lifted off my shoulders!

#5- Leviathan 'Despair' Fanart

Oh my god drawing that was a pain, I did draft after draft and I was in so much agony coloring his table. But the song was so good my inspiration was on fire the entire time. You guys won't believe how happy I still am from the amount of feedback I recieved out of it. It's a simple fanart, but I felt I managed to send the exact feelings I felt from the lyrics and imagining Levi to all of you, and that makes me really proud no matter the imperfections ♡

#4- While You're Not Looking

The ammount of attention this one recieved in just one single day of being posted was NOT expected. It was again, just a moment of epiphany, and then I had many people screaming and crying in my notifications and all I could think was "oh god I broke them are you guys okay what the fuck is happening". All I had in mind while writting was literally just what they do when you're not looking, and only after some people comented on tags about the yearning this post reeked of that I realized what I wrote 😂. It skyrocketed in notes and it still has me dumbfounded lololol.

-Honorary Mentions-

#Mammon Red String Fanart

This one is one of my absoluse prides after Belphie's 'Bad Ideas' Fanart. I was just so filled with love and soft feelings due to all the feedback I was recieving in this platform, all my insecurities and anxieties being crushed and thrown out the window. This fanart was made with pure overflowing happiness and gratefulness to all of you.

#No Thoughts, Just Demons

One of my first posts in this blog, it has been on top 3 for a good while before dropping down. It was incredibly fun to draw seeing it was literally a warmup from me staying months without drawing. I still feel sorry for the original artist of the base I used because it literally scaped my mind to credit, specially seeing I cropped the thing without paying attention to any signatures, and I also had no idea the original artist was on tumblr either, though I also didn't bother to search. The moment I accidentally found about the original artist I immediatelly went to put proper credits, but still, sorry.

#'Ho Ho Homicide' Satan Claus Fanart

Oh am I proud of this one. It took so much trouble but it was so satisfying to see it becoming it's final form. But I got so impatient I posted a literal month before christmas 😂. It's one of my favorite fanarts of all time 😏.

#Breakfast In Bed

This fucking shitpost lolololol. This was literally inspired by the fact I don't see breakfast in bed as romantic at all. Although it can be good if you can't get off the bed per example, on circunstances where you can get off the bed it's nothing short of inconvenient. But still, it's endearing to have someone go for the unnecessary trouble to have you eat breakfast in bed, and so this post was born lololololol.

#'Compilation of Flustered Sweet Stuff' Making The Brothers Flustered

Another moment of epiphany where I was high on the blushing faces of the brothers. Lucifer's frown with blushy cheeks that Satan also does, Mammon's and Beel's blushy smiles that make me go (=♡=) everytime, Levi's and Asmo's blush that just make me h o r n y, Belphie's blush that makes me want to s q u e e z e him in a hug. If I could I would make a shrine for each blushy expression from all the brothers.

And now for the top 3!

#3- EVEN MORE Small Things To Imagine

Oh boy I was PUMPED while making that one. I was listening to the song mentioned on it the entire time and until today I still get so happy while listening to it. I consider this one the ultimate part of the Small Things to Imagine series because it's not only the longest it was also made with a lot more happy feelings than the first part, and it's even higher on top than MORE Small Things to imagine, and I am proud of it 😌

#2- Photos The Brothers Would Have of You

Literally inspired by the shitshow that is the photos both me and my brother take. My brother makes sure all pics he ever takes can become memes, while I always search to take pictures from people at their most natural, even if it means a blurry pic of them laughing in an awkward position, and so I merged mine and my brother's tendencies and this post was born! And honestly I don't think anyone should be ashamed of drolling in their sleep, it's normal lololol, and I do from time to time too!

And finally...

#1- Small Things To Imagine

The number 1 top post that never lost it's position not even once ever since first posted. Not only was it one of my first posts of this blog it is also my most popular to the point it appears on the top posts of the Obey Me Headcanons tag. I am extremelly proud of this post, thank you everyone for their feedback on it and all the love sent to me, it really boosted my energy at the time ♡♡♡♡♡

Thank you everyone for all the love I recieved in this short 3/4 months of activity! May 2021 give us a break!!

#♡

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talkfastromance4 · 4 years ago

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Hi! I LOVE your stuff sooo much<3 for your 13 nights could I request 4- Michael, 5- Calum, 6- Luke, and 12- Ashton ? <3 <3 Can't wait to read them :)

6. “I want to bite you, too.” “A human’s bite won’t hurt, it would probably just tickle.”

Not even going to attempt to make this short because 1) it’s luke and 2) i’m just not capable. oh well. This is also written in third person with she/her pronouns as it’s in line with my vampire fic with Luke

Warnings: involves biting and blood drinking (nothing gory) while in a sexual situation.

• • • •

She’d heard being feasted on by a vampire was a very tantric, electrically charged and erotic moment. It was the ultimate high and while she and Luke became more physical as their relationship continued to flourish, she began to wonder more and more what it would feel like.

The first time she asked Luke to bite her neck he was taken aback. She always gave him a shock factor with something, he’s never met a human like her. After his initial shock, he was adamant on a hard ‘no.’ His response was so clipped she didn’t bother to push him and buried down the rejection inside her.

The second time she asked was while they were walking his grounds. He was in the middle of retelling an encounter with Elvis when she blurted out, “I want you to bite me.”

Luke sighed, took her hands in his and brought them to his lips so he could kiss them. His crystal blue eyes stare into hers, unblinking but trying to get a read out of hers.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he says quietly.

“I heard it doesn’t hurt. I trust you. I want to...be connected to you.”

“You already are connected to me, lovie,” he rests his forehead against hers. Her sweet floral scent of her blood invades his mind, but he inhales deeply. “In more ways than you know. My heart doesn’t beat but if it did it would be calling your name.”

“Then why don’t you want to?” she asks sadly. Luke groans, he hates making her feel sad.

“Believe me, I’ve wanted to since I first saw you. You may trust me but I don’t trust myself. I’m already extremely careful with you, this would be even more...demanding of my willpower that always crumbles away when I’m with you.”

“Really?” she chuckles gently.

“Yes, silly girl. You drive me insane.”

“Well...what’s it like to bite a human?”

“For me or the human?”

“Both.”

Luke sighs, he never wants to keep anything from her but also doesn’t want to share this so out in the open. There isn’t anyone for miles within earshot but this topic is touchy. Feasting on humans is what caused the mask mandate in the first place. A vampire’s bite became the most highly wanted and most illegal “drug” there is.

He took her hand that lead her inside to his trinket room. It’s where he feels most himself, surrounded by his most prized possessions but his most valuable is Y/N. Not that she’s a possession but she’s the most valuable companion. He sits down and she drapes herself across his lap.

“Tell me,” she demands. He pokes her nose.

“For humans it’s like a drug. I’ve heard different reactions but each one always makes the human feel light, extra light and slightly dizzy but then increases as the feast continues. Some have hallucinated, some black out, and some say it’s the ultimate high. It’s a pure form of arousal. For me--vampires--it’s very replenishing. We almost get a little buzz as well but nothing compared to a human. We’re fully satisfied and in turn, the human wants to be satisfied in other ways. Sexually.”

“Oh. So...you don’t want to bite me because you don’t want to be...I’m sorry. I don’t understand why you don’t want to,” she shakes her head.

Luke smiles and strokes the backs of his fingers against her throat. Her skin is warm, her pulse strong but fluttering like a hummingbird.

“I’ve already told you, I do want to. It’s just...I don’t want it to be too much for you. What if I hurt you?”

“You won’t. Please, Luke. It can only be the one time, I swear. I won’t push you but I want to experience everything I can with you. You bite me anyway so what’s the difference?”

Luke lets out a loud laugh then squeezes her thigh affectionately. “The difference is that I bite you to get you aroused, I’m not drawing blood. But all right...next time, we’ll try it and see how it goes.”

“Is it next time now?” she breathes against his curls. She kisses his temple.

“No, now it’s time for your shift at the Bar.”

Luke had asked Michael for help on feasting and was surprised to find that Michael had only done it once with Kitty. It was a wonderful moment shared between them but he felt like he didn’t have to keep doing it and doubts he’d ever do it again. Kitty felt the same, saying it would only be for special occasions or of the mood called for it.

Luke felt some reassurance from that but he made a promise to Y/N and he vowed to never break a promise to her.

After Y/N’s shift at the Bar, he drew her a bath with some lavender salts and candles. He joined her and washed her hair, pressing gentle kisses to the space between her shoulder blades. The way her heart kept jumping he knew she was thinking it would happen right now, but this was all preparation.

He wanted her completely relaxed, her head clear of all tension. When they toweled off, they remained without clothes and he brought her to his bed. He laid her down gently and began pressing his lips to her warm skin.

“I promised we’d try but there are some rules first,” he says swiping his tongue over her nipple.

“Rules?” she sighs, her body already aching for more of his touch.

“Yes, rules. First one is that you tell me to stop if you need me to stop. Don’t worry about hurting me feelings, you say the word and I’m done, all right?” he asks, eyes burning into hers. She licks her lips and nods. “Second rule, I need you to stay completely still, I’m using all my willpower. Third rule--”

“This is a very long list,” she interrupts tucking a curl behind his ear.

Luke snags her fingers in his hand, kisses her fingertips then sets them on the bed. “Rule number three is to not touch me, just in case.”

“I can’t touch you?” she pouts.

“It might jostle you or make me release my venom.”

“Were you like this with Celeste and Simone?” she asks quietly.

“No, because I didn’t care about them as I do you.” He leans up and kisses both her cheeks, then her lips ever so gently. “Are you ready?”

“Ready,” she exhales, her heart hammering.

“Tell me the rules...” he whispers stamping his kisses down her jaw.

“Tell you to stop...stay still and...” she sighs as his tongue strikes across the side of her neck, “and don’t touch you.”

“That’s my good girl. Where do you want me to do it?” his lips hover over her pulse point.

“Here,” she points with a shaky finger to the space just above her left breast.

Luke hums then travels his lips in that spot. He removes her hand gently, then sucks lightly on her skin, bringing the blood forth. He’s hyperaware of her breath, the race of her heart and the stillness of her body. He opens his mouth wider, lets his incisors extend then punctures her skin.

She gasps and Luke moans at the warmth of her blood, it tastes a thousand times sweeter than she smells and he begins to drink. Slowly. It warms him completely, fills him with a different form of desire. Her breathing hitches, small moans bubbling up from inside her and it’s music to his ears.

He hears her fingers tap against the sheet, aching to touch him but she listens to his orders and stays still. He’s mindful of how much he’s feasting and after one last pull, he releases his fangs then licks the puncture wound so she can begin healing. He kisses that spot multiple times, it’s a combination of her warm skin and his ice cold bite marks.

He lifts his gaze to her and she’s completely blissed out. Her lips are slightly parted, eyes fluttering. Luke hovers above her, cups her cheek and tilts her face to look at him.

“How are you? Are you with me?” he asks softly.

She sighs turning into his palm. He kisses her forehead, then her eyelashes before stopping at her ear. “Are you dizzy?” She makes a small grunting noise.

He kisses her cheek then rushes to his cupboard downstairs that holds all of her favorite sweet treats. Sugar usually helps the humans after a feasting, it helps them come down. While he gazes at his supply she begins to cry for him, calling his name.

He chooses a candy bar than flies back to his room where he finds her trying to fall off the bed. Tears fall down her cheek and he’s quick to cradle her in his arms.

“I’m right here, lovie. Here, eat this.” He rips open the candy bar and holds it to her lips. “This will help.”

She nibbles on the chocolate, eyes still partially closed as she tries to swim through her head. Luke’s heard after a feasting the humans are in a sort of subspace. He’s never done after care with anybody else (especially with Celeste and Simone) but he cares deeply for Y/N.

“Better?” he asks after she takes a few more bites.

“Mhm,” she sighs nuzzling into his chest. Her fingers curl into his light chest hair. “I want to bite you, too.”

Luke smiles, kisses her hair and strokes her cheek with his thumb until her eyes open a bit wider. They’re glazed over.

“A human’s bite won’t hurt, it would probably tickle.”

“Please?” her mouth opens the tiniest bit as she attempts to nip at his chest. She just ends up falling into him and Luke chuckles.

“Let’s discuss this when you’re more coherent, lovie, okay?”

She sighs again and Luke gazes out his window. The moon is high in the sky and the way it reflects on her skin, illuminating her, he’s come to a realization. He can’t exist without her, she’s officially become a part of him that has overridden the other feasting he’s done in his existence.

Should he change her if she feels the same? They could marry and have children of their own while she was human but eventually she would die. This is also why he didn’t want to bite her, he knew the bond would be concrete, set in stone just like his heart that somehow still sings for her.

• • • •

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imaginesbymk · 3 years ago

Text

important psa

hi guys!!! it’s been a while since i’ve posted imagines and stuff, i’m popping in here and there, but i haven’t forgotten you guys or this blog.

i just wanted to say that this feels weird and i feel so bad for doing this - ever since my 2-year blog anniversary celebration, i have received a long list of drabble requests. some of them i’m kind of inspired to write, but the others i draw blanks.

some drabbles have been in my drafts since the requester submitted them - which was june and now it’s the middle of august lol - and as much as i want to get them over with, i still haven’t felt inspired to write what’s been given.

not only that, but they’re requested for fandoms that i don’t get a lot of notes from, so i feel like it would make me feel worse to finally post a half-assed drabble only for it to get like... 4 notes.

i know most writers just do it and not care, but i’m a huge perfectionist and i hate leaving things on hold only for it to flop.

sooooo i’ve decided to remove them off my to-do list and only work on the drabbles i have that i’ve been inspired to do.

like i said, i feel so bad for anyone who’s request i’ll be taking off. i hope this doesn’t happen again in the future if i ever open drabbles again. pls don’t get angry :( i actually feel bad KSDSKDSK

my to-do list is linked in my bio if anyone wants to see which drabble requests i have removed!

- mk <3

#:///#mk talks

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marriael · 4 years ago

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Be my Latibule? (Changbin x Reader)

@skzrequests

Request: My pace 24 w changbin? uwu im a sucker for the idea of tattooist bin lmao I so vibed with this request, I love thinking about tattoist bin

Word count: 3717

a/n: part of the reason this took so long is I had to restart it twice :(

You walk into work at Insomnia Coffee Shop and your co-worker, Sohee, greets you.

“Anyone fun yet?” You ask. She's usually in when the store opens and often gets the most interesting customers.

“Not today. But yesterday a cute guy came in and ordered 3 americanos. Turns out it was for him and 2 friends. I tried to give them for free cause he looked half dead but he wouldn't let me. Who even does that?“

While she was talking you had slipped on the ugly orange apron and scowl when you noticed someone double knotted and didn't untie the strings.

You shake your head, “probably a college student pulling an all-nighter. What college student turns down free anything? Ugh, I wish some cute barista offered me free coffee, just, ever.”

Sohee turns and passes the drink over the counter. “For Jeno!”

A cute guy comes up to grab and winks at her before he turns to the door. Your jaw drops a little and you slap her shoulder.

“Is he a regular?” You ask.

“Nope. Said he got a recommendation from a friend and went out of his way to come. Weird day to do it though.”

You hum as the next customer comes in and you get thoroughly distracted. It isn’t until he comes up to the counter and speaks that you stop staring blankly.

“1 latte, 1 americano,” his voice is low and rough and he’s a little bit intimidating honestly. He’s got a small bit of a tattoo poking out one of the sleeves and you try and look at it before you have to turn around.

“Is that a tattoo?” You ask him when you turn around.

He rolls the short sleeve up to his shoulder to expose the full tattoo and you stare at the simple beauty of the moon and stars.

“Woah, that’s cool!” Sohee must’ve seen him just in her peripheral… or she was staring like you. You nod emphatically in agreement.

He blushes a little and says “thanks. Couldn’t reach this part of my arm or else I would’ve done it myself, but I still drew it.”

“Do you work at a tattoo parlour then?”

“Yeah, I do a lot of the designs for our place,”

You gasp, “can I come look at them? Please?” You pout trying to convince him to accept your strange request. You just felt something pulling you towards these drawings and the man who made them.

He looks at you for a moment then says, “yeah, let me give you the address. When you come in just ask for Changbin.”

He pulls out a random business card, not his unfortunately, and writes down the address. He slides it over and covers his smile with a sip.

You turn back to the coffee machines as he walks out the door but Mina stops you.

“Changbin huh? He was pretty cute,” she smirks.

“Hush your mouth and get back to work, brat.”

“Nuh-uh! I get to leave now but if, no no not if when, you meet him we're talking about this later.”

The next day was Tuesday and, thankfully, it was mostly empty of things for you. So you pull out the piece of paper Changbin gave you and looked up the address.

It was just a couple blocks down from the coffee shop and you head out. The building is small and squished right between a bakery and a florist, basically some cheesy romance just waiting to happen.

You walked in and looked around. There were corkboards on either sidewall and they were filled with drawings pinned to them. The bottoms of them fluttered a little at the draft you brought with you.

When you looked at him the man behind the counter raised an eyebrow at you. Ah, so it was very obvious you wouldn't be in here often.

You let out a little nervous laugh, “hi, Changbin told me to come see him here?”

The man raised both eyebrows at that. You fiddled as he looked you over again then laughed a little. “Changbin!” He suddenly yelled.

From one of the closed side rooms comes a muffled voice “go away Chan, I’m busy!”

The man at the desk, Chan, turns back to you “sorry, he’s always like this. He’s probably just sketching a custom.”

“Oh, I can come back later if he’s busy.”

Chan doesn’t answer you and instead yells at Changbin again “I know you’re not actually busy. Your partner is here to see you!”

“Hey!” You protest but Chan just grins at you as you hear the door open.

“Chan what the hell are you-” Changbin cuts himself off and gently smiles when he sees you “hey, didn’t think you were actually gonna come.”

You smile back at him. He looks much softer when he’s smiling and you were briefly caught off guard.

“Tell me again about how you’re not dating or at least interested, “ Chan’s eyes flick between the shy but wide smiles on yours and Changbin’s faces.

Changbin rolls his eyes but inclines his head towards the door he was behind and you follow behind him. He closes the door most of the way behind you and then moves to sit at the desk in the far corner. There are more drawings in here and you assume all of them are his. It’s a wide variety of subjects, from small sketches of animals and plants to large and detailed fantasy creatures.

“Sorry about Chan, he’s always delighted in teasing anyone who’s younger than him,” Changbin shakes his head, probably at Chan even though he can’t see or hear in the room.

“Have you two known each other a long time then?” You ask and tilt your head a little.

“Ah, yeah,” Changbin looks at you again, “most of us met in high school and a couple joined right at the start of college. College was really when our whole group started getting close, too.”

“Sounds nice,” you were paying attention to him, promise, but with such wonderful drawings surrounding you, you really couldn’t help it if your attention drifted a bit.

Changbin notices and raises an eyebrow slightly, “interested in getting one?”

“What? Oh, no no, not right now at least. They’re just… really, really good.”

Changbin immediately looks down and smiles, and you could swear he was blushing a bit but when he looks back up it's gone.

“There’s a couple hidden ones in here that aren’t mine. Think you can spot ‘em?” He challenges.

You immediately head up to one of the boards and stand about 5 centimetres away. You push a couple of them up and out of the way, making sure to be careful. There really is all sorts of stuff, Changbin must be pretty busy. A rushing river done with such detail you can almost see it moving. Swirls that when you look just right suddenly snap into focus to make an abstract, soaring bird. Nature moulded with a person or item in such a seamless way that there is not a difference between them, they are simply one continuous sight.

You’re looking for hidden drawings, not ogling at Changbin’s skills. Right. When you move one more there is a small piece of paper. There is… something on it. Either Changbin drew this when he was about 5 years old or it was someone else.

“Hey, I found one. I don’t even know what this is though, it looks like a squiggle.”

Changbin laughs, “hold on.”

He comes and looks right over your shoulder. You can feel his hot breath on your ear and feel his chest move when he laughs at the drawing again. You quickly reign in the slight disappointment when he moves away.

“Yeah, that’s the thing Chan keeps trying to make our mascot. Felix and I won’t let him so until one of us breaks it’s two against one,” he shrugs and it doesn’t look like he feels bad at all.

“Do all your friends have a drawing stashed in here somewhere?”

“Well, I’ve seen at least 16 drawings put in here so yes they all have one. Some of them and Felix, Jisung’s special twin, has hidden at least 4. There’s probably more that he did when I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Ugh, how many friends do you even have. If it’s more than, like, 6 I might be genuinely angry.”

Changbin practically cackles, “well then get ready to be absolutely furious. There’s 9 of us, including myself and everyone I’ve already mentioned.”

“That’s not even fair! How have you all been friends for so long without someone murdering someone else.”

“Oh, believe me. Seungmin’s wanted to. Unfortunately, his best friends are some of our greatest problem children. Though sometimes I'm pretty sure he'll murder them first.”

“Any other possible murderers I should worry about seeing?” You flip a couple more pictures up, still passively looking for any other weird drawings.

“Hm, Minho's murderous intentions are usually directed at Jisung. He'd do it for his cats too, though. He definitely fits in well.”

“Were there concerns about him not fitting in?”

“Yeah 'cause, he was the last one to join us, but he’s just as chaotic if not more. For Chan’s graduation night he insisted on using some mini firework things he found. Nearly lit himself and Jisung on fire with the very first one.”

Something clicks in your brain. You’ve heard this story before, from one of your random classmates. He was… interesting, to put it politely.

“Are you talking about Lee Minho? The smug bastard who tried to get everyone to call him Lee Know for like 5 months? And Han Jisung, my co-worker kind of, that I’m pretty sure hates me for some reason?”

“Wait, you know them? And why do you think Jisung hates you?”

“Yeah, Minho was my weird classmate. I’m like 90% sure Jisung hates me because he barely looks at me and gives one-word answers to all of my questions. I don’t really see him other than during shift switches but still!”

“I think Minho actually might have mentioned you before. And Jisung is just like that around people he doesn’t know. Trust me, he actually has the capacity to be the loudest person in the room. By far.”

“Huh, I wonder how many of your friends I actually know.”

"Well, we're hanging out on Thursday. Do you want to come with and meet some more of them?”

You hum thoughtfully, thinking of any possible commitments you had made lately, “I probably can but can I bring Sohee? Just so I know someone there?”

“Do I still not count as someone you know?” He whines and pouts a little for the extra effect.

“Not enough. If you all go off on some inside joke I need someone to be confused with.”

“Actually fair, because it might happen. I’ll let you know when and where we’re going later then.”

You pull out your phone and extend it to him, when he looks at it confused you raise an eyebrow, “unless you plan to send it by bird I recommend putting your number in my phone.”

He makes a surprised noise and keeps his eyes away from you and on your phone. It has not spread to his face but under his dark hair his bright red ears peek out just enough for you to see. Even when handing it back he doesn’t look at you and you smile at his bashfulness.

“See ya soon, Bin. I work again tomorrow.”

Directions are not always your strong suit. You’d like to believe they are and that’s how you end up like this, no map and unsure of what direction you should even look in.

“You look lost,” a voice comes from behind you.

You spin around. A tall puppy-like guy is standing behind you, he looks slightly amused and you’re betting it’s at your expense.

“Yeah, do you know where M.I.A Café is?”

“Oh,” he nods, “yeah I’m going there. Let’s go.”

It’s slightly awkward, walking this distance with someone you don’t know. You search your brain with how to start a conversation with someone.

“Are you… meeting someone at the café?” You ask, slightly awkward.

“Yeah, a couple of my friends.”

“Huh, so am I. Well, actually, it’s someone else’s friends and I’m just kinda tagging along,” you shrug, realizing how awkward this will probably be.

“Good luck with that,” he says as he holds the door for you.

You enter and scan the tables for Changbin’s face. You wave and slip into the chair opposite him. On the edge of the table thankfully, hopefully Sohee can recognize the back of your head. Someone sits next to you and you get a little shock seeing who it is.

He grins at you, “hey stranger.”

The guy you walked all that way with one of Changbin’s friends!

Changbin looks between you confusedly, “you know Seungmin?”

“He helped me get here. I might have gotten a little lost.”

“A little, ok. You had no idea where you were,” Seungmin snarks.

“Maybe so!”

“Well good to know you get along with another one of my friends already,” Changbin interjects.

Someone comes up and sits beside Changbin.

“Hey, I’m Hyunjin,” he greets you simply.

You give him a little wave. You don’t like judging people so fast but he’s a little intimidating.

You hear a little scrape of a chair beside and Sohee pops down at the end of the table.

“Sohee, you made it!”

“Yeah, no thanks to you,” she sticks out her tongue at you.

“I’ve seen you somewhere before,” Hyunjin speaks up and you whip your head towards him.

Sohee looks at him and squints for a moment. They start looking at each other for so long that you think they’re actually just having a staring contest. You think you recognize someone walking outside but when you actually look out the window you have no idea who any of them are. It’s still a nice day out, maybe you can go out somewhere after this.

“Oh! You’re the guy I thought was going to drink 3 americanos the other day!”

“Sohee~” you sing.

“What?” She looks at you, annoyed.

“You forgot an important detail that you told me about him.”

She looks genuinely confused for a moment before catching on and shaking her head, “shut up, nope nope nope.”

“You think he’s cute!” You cackle.

You, Changbin, and Seungmin make fun of Sohee and Hyunjin for a little while. It backfires when Sohee manages to sneakily turn the attention on you, well you and Changbin. Together, you being together.

“Yeah, and you stared at him for so long when he came in!” Sohee says.

“Sohee, kindly shut your mouth,” you reply, smiling the most pained and fake smile ever.

“Ok, please don’t pour your drink on me, I’m afraid. Also we work together so I’m coming for you.”

You just roll your eyes at her, you didn’t actually scare her and you both know that. She just likes to be some sort of annoying sister to you.

Hyunjin clears his throat and when you look at him his eyes are bright. He smiles sneakily and says, “you should hear about the time Changbin actually poured his drink on someone.”

“Hyunjin that was an accident and you know it!” Changbin exclaims, attempting to shoulder check a giggling Hyunjin.

You breeze into Blueprint Tattoos and Chan looks up in surprise.

“Hey there, didn’t know you were coming in today.”

You let out a single, unnatural ‘ha’, “I didn’t know either but uh, here I am.”

“Well, Changbin’s in his usual spot. I don’t think he has anything today.”

“Thanks,” you nod stiffly.

Looking around at the cork boards you can see some of them definitely done in Changbin’s style and a handful more you suspect would be his. You breathe out heavily and slouch a little before straightening and walking towards where Changbin should be, full of false confidence.

“Are you ok?” Chan asks and when you look over his eyebrows are furrowed and his forehead pinched down a little. The concern from someone you barely know is a little unusual but the warmth you get from it is welcoming.

“Yeah, just a little nervous you know?” You force a small laugh but you know it’s not convincing.

“Oh!” Chan exclaims, “well if this is what I think it is then good luck.”

Chan’s face is completely relaxed and you feel a little bit bad for making him worry so much. You’re not entirely sure what he thinks you’re doing but you smile at his kindness as you open Changbin’s door.

He has headphones in and doesn’t hear when you close the door behind you. You stand there for a minute, back against the door, just looking at him. Most people move to what they’re listening to but the only thing moving is his hand and it glides across the page. You have no idea what he’s doing but you just hope he’ll show it to you when he’s done.

You take a big breath in and out before approaching him. Tapping his shoulder gently you hope not to cause him to jerk his arm and ruin a line or anything. He stops completely and pulls his headphones out. He looks a little annoyed but then he looks up to see you and his face eases.

“Hi! I didn’t know you were coming today. Anything specific on the brain or did you just want to hang out with Best Friend Binnie?” He gives you an exaggerated and comical wink.

“Give me a tattoo?” You say, surprisingly calm for how jittery you actually feel.

“Wait, what? Are you sure? Like really sure?”

You roll your eyes like a stereotypical teenager would at their parents, that is to say, so far back it felt like they would disappear into your head, “no, Changbin, I’m not sure. I’ve really only been thinking about it basically since the first time I walked into this room.”

“That was only a week ago,” Changbin deadpans.

“Yeah, and?”

Changbin shakes his head, “I’m not going to give you a tattoo you’ll regret.”

You look around at the drawings. Feeling like that one action gave this decision away as way more spontaneous than it had originally seemed. Yes, you had been thinking about getting one and getting Changbin to do it for you but doing it today specifically was a complete impulse.

“I’m not going to regret it! Bin, please,” you pout at him.

Changbin tilts his head to look at the ceiling as if it will give him some guidance.

“What do you want?”

You clap your hands excitedly and then hesitate again.

“Well, I know I want a flower but… I want you to choose which one. I want it to be a flower with a good meaning behind it.”

Changbin nods and stands there considering your request. You take the time to look around his office again. Staring at all the intricate drawings on the walls you feel a bit dorky choosing to get a simple flower. Your eyes briefly catch on two stylized drawings of the word SpearB. One of them has a cute little ‘Binnie~’ under it and the other has a messy ‘Chanathan’ in English and Korean.

There are a couple of flowers scattered throughout the room so you’re a bit surprised when you hear Changbin ripping a page out of his sketchbook. His back is to you so you can’t see him cutting it down to a size to la and trace on your body. You can hear the gentle snips of scissors as you distract yourself with rows of flowers connected and individual petals with such detail you could believe them being real.

You watch as he gently traces the pattern onto your skin. You don’t recognize the flower right away but it looks delicate and beautiful. You think you catch him glancing up at you a few times but you’re pretty sure the clock is behind you and he’s looking at that.

You zone out almost entirely as he prepares. Well, it’s not exactly zoning out. You’d say it’s appreciation of an attractive man, your friends would say that you’re just checking him out.

Ok, so what if you are? Changbin’s shirt has no sleeves which means his arms are on full display which means that you can’t stop looking at the muscles flexing as he moves. Thankfully you’re conscious enough to look away when he turns back around.

The buzz of the gun wakes you up and Changbin is looking at you.

“All good?” He asks.

“Yeah, let’s do this.”

You watch for a moment as he starts going and the ink sinks permanently into your skin. It’s a strange thing to conceptualize, something being on your body forever. You catch a glimpse of Changbin’s concentrated face and you get completely distracted by him. If this is what he looks like everytime he gives a tattoo then you want to observe, even study, him.

His mouth is set in a firm line and eyebrows pinched slight inwards and downwards. His eyes are wide and focused and if you look closely enough you can see every slight movement of his irises following his hand around.

Neither of you say a word and you don’t dare move to try and look at the clock or your phone. Just watching and waiting in silence, but together. A shared silence is different than one had alone.

Silences by yourself can feel wrong sometimes but this kind of silence with Changbin feels so right that you almost never want it to end.

Good things often come quicker than they should and soon the buzzing stops. You can hear phantom buzzing still and suspect you will for quite a while. You lift your arm and look at it, it’s finished now but you’re still not sure what it is and certainly not what it means.

“What is it?” You ask.

“An almond blossom. It, uh, it means promise.”

“Promise, huh?” You grin and look at Changbin's pink-ish face.

You expect him to have some witty comment but instead, he just smiles goofily and breathlessly says, “yeah.”

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hoeiplier · 5 years ago

Note

Think we could request a lil impreg kink then. Perhaps one of the egos like Dark going into heat and cumming inside you over and over again, trying to mark you, breed you, make you his forever as he just takes you over and over again, letting none of his cum slip out as he fucks it deeper inside you, maybe even keeping his cock nice and snug inside you as you both fall asleep, keeping that bulge of warm cum trapped inside

i hope u know my dick just shot into the sky with this ask bc HOLY FUCK THATS THE GOOD SHIT --mod ghostie

also this is fem aligned reader!! im v sorry, if anyone wants a masc aligned reader (like mpreg stuff) or nb lemmie know and i’ll see what i can do!!

ALSO SORRY UNEDITED BC ITS 6 AM AND I NEED SLEEP AAAA

///

Dark couldn’t help himself, he just couldn’t. His urges, the warmth filling his body, everything was too much. Just having someone like you hang around him, your scent and your body, was the tipping point he needed to give into his instinct.

Of course, nobody had told you Dark not only was interested in you, but had heats he’d go through as an entity -- ones that nobody could quite explain, not even Dr. Ipl/////ier. Heats that left the usually overly serious and manipulative man a downright flustered, animalistic, mess.

That was how you found yourself here, pinned up to the wall in the egos’ meeting room, your pants and underwear pulled down your legs, your chest exposed, and fucked by the demonic being.

His warm hand reaches up, cupping your breast, his fingers playing with the sensitive nipple, kissing along your shoulder, biting down as he pleases. The ringing of his aura quiet as can be for once.

“Mine,” Dark growls. His hips thrusting back up into you, your wet cunt drawing him in deeper, barely being able to hide your moans from the studio in the next room. The last thing you need is Wilford barging in.

“All mine,” his growls grow impossibly lower, biting down on your shoulder, arching into Dark’s hold as his cock continues to thrust deep in and out of you, “mine to have, mine to breed, God your cunt feels so fucking good around my cock. Do you know how fucking long I’ve wanted to pound myself into you? How fucking long I’ve wanted to be inside this little cunt--”

“Dark...” you groan in embarrassment, pleasure filling you as you raise your hands up to hide your face. Since when has Dark ever cursed in your presence?! And with...with such filthy words?!

“No,” another growl, your hands pinned above you, Dark’s hand on your breast slowed, his eyes burning with pure lust and instinct as he stares you down. Your blush practically as red as the aura surrounding him.

“Don’t you dare fucking hold back,” the man above you laughs. Barely keeping a moan down as his hips pick up in pace. “You belong to me now, this body, this cunt, it’s all mine. And I don’t like hiding what’s mine.”

No kidding. The hickies and bitemarks seeming to pulse in time with your racing heartbeat.

“Dark, we can’t be too--!”

You barely get another word in, Dark pulling out of your cunt, leaving you a whining mess before he practically rips your pants and underwear away. Pure arousal drumming through his veins as he effortlessly lifts you up, laying you down on the meeting room table, it’s cold surface making you hiss.

Said cold surface soon forgotten as Dark hikes your legs over his shoulders, slamming his thick cock back into you once more. Your inner walls constricting, pulling him in deeper, your eyes shut tight as he pins your arms up once more. His grip near impossible to break.

Leaving your entire body exposed, to him and him alone.

And, between your broken moans and whispered begs for more, he laughs.

A deep, rich, low laugh. A laugh that makes your cunt tremble, more slick seeping from you as his cock sinks back into your wet heat.

“Did you know lifting your legs like this helps with getting pregnant?”

A moan finally loud enough breaks from your lips. your eyes opening, looking back down at his cock fucking into you, and back up to his eyes.

Completely black eyes.

“Do you like that idea?” he laughs, that same damned rich laugh, “Do you like the idea of me taking and making you mine forever? Fuck, look at you.”

His right hand keeps your wrist pinned down, the left roaming down, cupping your breast once more.

“You’d look beautiful full of my cum, full of my seed, full of me.” He picks up his pace, feeling his hand trail back down, down your belly, in between your upper thighs.

Right on your clit, rubbing in short circular motions. The pleasure of his throbbing cock and his finger on you nearly mind numbing as you arch into his touch.

“Do you want that? I’ll keep you mine and mine forever, filling you up time after time after time,” Dark slams into you. Each thrust bouncing your body up and down the table, your clit just as hard and throbbing as Dark’s cock, your slick helping him go deeper into your core.

“Dark, fuck--”

“We already are, and we’ll keep fucking, again”

Another thrust in, hard, fast, just as fast as his finger on your clit. Your cunt gripping around his shaft, pre cum seeping out of you. His face the mere definition of aroused.

“and again,”

He lets go of your wrists, his free hand holding on tight to your hips. You reach out to grip the sides of the table, eyes nearly rolling back in pleasure as you feel his cock slide against your g-spot. The mere stimulation of it all has you crying, how much more can you take from a goddamn demon in heat?!

“and again, until you’re filled with my cum. Until you’re bred properly, until you’re carrying my child and everyone knows I’m the one who did it.”

Dark can feel your muscles spasm around him. Your legs nice and wide on his shoulders, his own voice breaking. His orgasm slowly on the rise.

“Take it, take my fucking cum--” Dark continues his motions on your clit, laughing once more, “I can feel you tighten around me,” he growls your name,”I know you want it, I know you me to breed you over and over. God, I fucking know you want me to knock you up--”

“Dark!” is all your mind can get out. Your cunt, your body, all of you trembles before him as your orgasm finally approaches.

“Cum, cum with me, cum on my fucking cock,” he growls, pulling your hip closer to him. The tip of his cock nestled as deep as he can go. Short shallow thrusts still rocking you as his finger rubs faster at your clit. A smug lustful look on his face as he curses, feeling his own orgasm approach, “cum for me. C’mon, cum so I can fucking fill you up with every last drop of my cum!”

That did it. The shouting, the demands, his fingers, his throbbing cock. You shout, a full body tremble coursing through you, eyes rolled back, arched up into his hold.

You can’t help but scream his name. No longer giving a damn if Wilford, Host, any of the egos heard you.

Your moans grow louder as you hear Dark curse above you. Growling like an animal, panting and panting, his short thrusts right against your cervix--

You feel it.

Thick warmth filling you up, his cock pumping as he shouts your name. Your body trembling once more, another orgasm crashing down on you. Your nails digging into the dull edge of the table.

His cock continues to spurt, more cum filling you. The warmth filling your cunt, seeping out under you, leaving you completely and utterly satisfied.

The afterglows of your orgasm leave you both groaning. Still bucking your hips for more, Dark’s cock plugging your cunt, your slick still leaving you wetter than before you started.

“...Round 2 already?” you pant out. Your legs shaking gently as Dark lets them down from his shoulders.

“Wait...”

“Wh-Why?”

“Just stay like this with me,” with your legs out of the way, Dark leans down to kiss and bite at your lips, softly thrusting as before into you. His fingers finally leaving your clit as he tips your chin up to kiss him properly.

“I need to make sure you’re nice and filled up. Can’t let any of it spill out of you, especially if I’m trying to knock you up,” he cracks a smile.

You moan into the kiss, reaching up to embrace him closer. Still feeling his hot cum seep out of you gently.

“...Um, how long do these heat things of yours last...?”

“...Generally speaking?” he moans lowly, breaking your kiss from deepening any further, “about 4 days.”

“O-Oh--!”

“Don’t worry, just means more time for us to work on getting you pregnant.” he smirks, feeling your body react to his words. Tightening around his still hard cock.

Let’s just hope Wilford gave you the next 3 days off from the studio.

#mod ghostie #ghostie writes #VHS Fucker #thats darks tag uwu #impreg kink

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nooneactuallyasked · 4 years ago

Text

Diner Gal - Reggie x Reader Part 8

Requested: It’s a series, there are no requests here!

Word count: 2,560

Warnings: Cursing

Summary: Julie and the Phantoms ( + Flynn ) go to a musical diner/café/restaurant for inspiration and hopefully a future gig but they end up meeting a very special waitress.

Note: This one is really long- the next part will be out tomorrow so be ready for that! Enjoy!

Edit: I FORGOT THE TAGLIST I’M SO SORRYYYYY!!!!!!

Part 1 here Part 2 here Part 3 here

Part 4 here Part 5 here Part 6 here

Part 6.5 here Part 7 here

---

“Hey, Diner Gal.”

Y/N smiled at the floor before turning around to face her surprise visitor, “How’s it hanging, Leather Boy?” She probably wouldn’t admit it out loud but Reggie’s random visits were probably the main reason why Y/N had been arriving at work extra early and leaving extra late. “Alright, Julie is kinda freaking out and getting Flynn to help her pick an outfit and then Flynn freaks out and gets Julie to help her decide on a theme for the marketing stuff. You?” Y/N shrugged, “The usual.”

“So, what can I do you for?” Reggie looked down, a red flush covering his cheeks and the tips of his ears, “Well, I kinda wanted to just hang out because Julie and Luke are “writing some songs” but we all know it’s just a date and Alex is with Willie and I’m willing to bet my left sock that they’re on a date too and I didn’t wanna be alone so I thought that you’re really nice so I came here.” A smile danced on Y/N’s lips and her gaze softened, he was too sweet and just hearing his voice made her cheeks heat up slightly. Reggie’s eyes widened and he met her gaze, a horrified expression painting his face, “Unless you’re busy, sorry, I’ll- I’ll just go-“

“Woah, Reg, chill out. I’ve just got to plan out the way we’re gonna decorate the room on Friday. Plus, I like having you around, it makes my job a lot less boring.” Y/N smiled before grabbing a black notebook an opening it to a new page, she scribbled down a title so she’d remember what it was for before bullet pointing her ideas. “You know, I just realised, how much work do you do? I mean, you’re around the same age as us, you have a job and you basically co-manage this place whilst also working here as an entertainer. Do you even go to school?”

Y/N chuckled and turned to face him, “This is a part-time job but I do usually sneak in extra hours just to help out Cal, he can’t do everything by himself and there isn’t anyone else to help him, plus he’s a family friend and basically my uncle at this point. As for school, I do online school which I pay for with this job, and it all comes full circle.” Reggie frowned, “Still, it sounds like a lot. You should come to Julie’s sometime during practice and just hang out. No folders, no notes, no work, just hanging out and having a good time! And promise me you’ll start taking it easy”

“Alright, Leather Boy, I promise and maybe I’ll take you up on that someday. But for now, just focus on your gig that’s coming up in two days, not including today of course. Speaking of, do you mind helping me out with this, I get the impression you have a lot of ideas locked up in that brain of yours.” Reggie looked at her in surprise, “You really want my help? I mean, you could ask anyone for help, why me?” Y/N stared at Reggie, her brows furrowing as a worried expression crossed her face, “Why wouldn’t I? Reggie you’re amazing and I wouldn’t want anyone else to help me.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

---

“Finish up these papers for me, I’m going out.”

“Cal, I’m already doing more than I should, I have to finish off an essay and send it in before lunch. You haven’t even started your time listings for today yet.” Y/N blew at a piece of hair that kept falling into her eyes and glared up at Cal.

“I said finish them, I’m going out.” Cal slammed the papers onto her desk and walked out of the office. “Cal, what the fuck!” Y/N stood up, her chair slamming into the wall behind her as she ran after him, papers in hand, “Where the hell are you going?” “Out.”

Cal shot her a cold glare that made her freeze in place before walking out. Y/N groaned in frustration, throwing the papers to the floor, “Shit, fuck, kill me.” Sighing, she knelt on the floor and gathered the papers back up. “Fucking asshole, but he might have something important to do and he’s just stressed about it. Calm down, Y/N.” She kept muttering reassurance to herself so as not to lose her temper once again.

Y/N glanced down at the paper, it was her schedule for the note giving out extravaganza. Oh fuckerooney, she was meant to do that now and she was already late. Y/N ran into the office and stuffed all the notes into a bag which she slung onto her shoulder before sprinting out into the street and making her way to her first stop: Firecracker’s house.

---

“Y/N? You look like you ran all the way here…don’t tell me, you did, didn’t you.”

“Perhaps.”

Julie rolled her eyes despite the grin growing on her face, “You’re an idiot, you know that, right? And your face is really red.” Y/N gasped dramatically, bringing her hands to her cheeks in comical shock, “You don’t say?”

“Julie! Who’s at the door? Tell them to go away, we need to practice!” Both girls stared at each other for a second in slight shock before bursting into laughter, Y/N cleared her throat before turning to Julie, “You might want to cover your ears.” Julie raised a brow but complied as Y/N took a deep breath, “Oi, dunderheads! I thought you wanted your notes but I guess not!” Silence followed and it everything in her to not burst out laughing or snort. “And go…” Julie furrowed her eyebrows and the snickered at the sounds of scraping and scrambling that came from inside the garage.

“No! Please, give us the cheat sheet so we can win!”

“Not a cheat sheet and it’s not a competition but yes, please ignore him! We need your help!”

“Wait there’s a cheat sheet? No one said anything about a test!”

“Okay, boys, chill out and let her breath before she joins you in the afterlife.” Y/N sent Julie a grateful smile before setting the notes down on the coffee table and quickly stepping back as the boys (specifically Luke) dived for them. “So, as per mandatory instructions I need to explain the notes and help you use them to your advantage but I also took on all of Cal’s work until the weekend alongside my own so I hope you don’t mind me checking the finance’s, writing setlists and my essay and other work stuff. I promise you will still get the full explanation for each and every note!”

“You took on more? You already have so much, you promised that you’d take it easy!” Y/N rubbed her knuckles, “I know but Cal walked out on me earlier and hasn’t been himself lately so I needed to pick up where he left off. Plus, all the other workers need a manager and so that’s what I’ll become.” Julie sighed, stroking her finger along the piano keys as she sat down, “As longs as you’re sure it’s okay.” Reggie furrowed his brow but picked up his bass and slung it over his shoulder nonetheless, his concern and probable disappointment made the nasty, sinking feeling of guilt weigh down on Y/N. She didn’t like letting people down but she needed to do this, for her family, for Cal, for herself.

“So let’s do this, you can read through it and then I’ll walk you through it all.”

“Oh! Julie, can you call Flynn? I’d like to see what she’s got before putting everything out there.” Julie frowned, “Are you sure, you’re already doing so much, I don’t wanna-“ “Julie, it’ll be fine just call her up, I’d rather get this done, it’s now or never.” Luke snorted, Alex rolled his eyes but smiled and Reggie choked causing Y/N to raise a brow before shrugging it off, she just needed to see this through and then maybe Cal would be okay again.

A small smile made its way onto her face when she saw Julie and Luke link pinkies behind the piano, she didn’t that was possible but they were cute so you didn’t particularly us. And hey, she got Luke’s nickname spot on, so there’s also that.

“Okay, if you’re sure then I’m sure Flynn will be delighted.” Y/N grinned, “Sweetness, let me know when she’ll get here so I can prepare a space the printer in our office back at the diner.” Reggie furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head, kinda like a confused puppy, “How do you prepare it? Are you leaving already?” Y/N chuckled and shook her head, “No, the printer is wireless and connects to all of the staff’s phones and laptops. Since I only have my phone on me I’ll be using that.”

“Ohhhh! That makes sense!”

“Yeah, Willie said something like that when we went sightseeing and we say printings being put out without anyone nearby.”

“That’s stupid, just draw them or something, what if the wireless breaks?”

“You’re talking loud for someone with bad handwriting.”

---

“Hey everybody, your favourite manager has arrived!”

“Thanks for coming, Flynn. Y/N is just setting up the wireless connection back to her office, have you got a copy of the flyer or something?” Flynn grinned, “You know I do, and can I just say that I really appreciate me and my talents and you should too. You’re welcome.” Julie chuckled and led Flynn over to Y/N who looked up at them with a smile. “Hey, Flynn, it’s really great to see you again. Sorry about the short notice.” Y/N picked at the tips of her nails, a bashful smile making its way onto her face, “No problem, since Julie ditched me for her invisible boyfriend and his band geek friends I haven’t had much chance to hang around, now you’re my excuse.” Julie rolled her eyes as Flynn stuck her tongue out in her direction.

Y/N chuckled and put her phone down beside her, “Well, I’m glad to be of service. So, may I see your masterpiece?” Flynn grinned and pulled her phone out of a pocket, “I thought you’d never ask.”

---

“Thanks so much, Flynn. Your flyer’s amazing, we might have to hire you properly.” Y/N winked, a bright smile on her face, “Really? I mean, these guys really need my talents but if I find some time away I might drop by.” The two girls laughed and then a thought popped into Y/N’s head. She rummaged through her bag and brought out her notebook; she ripped out a page and wrote her number onto it. “Here, Julie already has pretty much all of my contact info but I just remembered you don’t, so here’s my number.” Flynn smiled, “Thanks, I’ll put it in my phone when I get home.”

“Y/N! Do your job and help us now!” She rolled her eyes and stood up, “Once again, thanks.” Flynn sent her finger guns in return. She walked over to where the ‘band geeks’ were congregated around the piano.

“Okay, so it says ‘Remember to interact with audience members’ and ‘Move around when possible’. What does that mean?” Y/N smiled and leant against the piano, “The first one is simple, Cal really liked how you guys react with each other but since we are a performing diner the audience want to be included as well, so interact with them, send them smiles, wave at specific people, pick people out of the crows, that sort of stuff.” She shifted her body to a more comfortable position, “As for moving around, again, we’re a performing diner, everyone will have a mic pack, since you can pick up, hold and wear physical things I’m gonna assume you can wear mic packs too. I don’t know how your amps work though so just move as much as possible, Julie if you can do the most moving around that would be great, we’ll have some performers dancing and working around you but you guys are our main attraction when you’re performing. Just do what you can to the best of your ability, that's all we ask.”

“Well, I’m sure we can do that, right, boys?”

“Obviously, have you not heard us rehearse this week? We’re going blow everyone’s socks off!”

“I have a feeling anything could go badly though, what if the mic packs don’t work or one of us doesn’t appear when we start playing, or- “

“Alex, chill out, this isn’t a second hotdog, and if it is we’ll eat it so it knows who’s boss!”

“Uh, Reggie, that’s how we died, I’m pretty sure the hotdog won.”

“Huh, yeah, that checks out.”

Julie and Y/N caught each other’s eyes and burst out laughing, “Can you guys stop having your little ghostie jokes, I��m trying to boast that I’m well on my way to being a famous manager to the She-Devil herself!”

“Well, now I’ve fulfilled my part of this mission I have to head off to my next mission, Agent Y/N is officially signing out.” Julie smiles and Flynn walks up, “It was great to have you on this mission, we wish you luck in your next. Stay safe Agent, we hope to see you again.” The three girls saluted each other before snickering while the boys stared at them in confusion. Y/N walked over to her bag and slung it over her shoulder, “I’ll see you guys later.” She pushed open the garage doors, waving goodbye one last time before walking out.

Y/N started walking down the path before a loud smashing sound caught her by surprise, “Wait!” A weird sensation spread over her hand, it was warm but cold and it made her skin tingle before she felt pressure replace the weird feeling and fingers curl around her hand. “How can I help you?” Y/N turned around, plastering her customer service smile onto her face.

“Leather Boy?”

She turned to see Reggie standing there completely frozen, holding onto her hand as though it were a lifeline. “Reggie? You okay?” Reggie shook his head slightly and smiled before looking down, a sheepish expression crossing his face, “Can I hug you? Please?” Y/N’s softened and smiled brightly, “Of course, Reg. Come here.” She reached up and looped her arms around his neck as he buried his face into her shoulder, “I don’t get many hugs, the guys don’t like them and I feel like it would be weird to ask Julie.”

“Well, you can hug me anytime…that sounds really weird.” Y/N chuckles as Reggie gazes at her in admiration, “So what did scream at me and- break a plant pot for?” Y/N peers behind Reggie and finds the origin of the smashing sound. “Uh, well I was going to just say goodbye but since we’re here would you mind if I came by the diner later?” Y/N smirked, “Can’t get enough of me?” Reggie grew flustered and turned his gaze to the floor, “Well- I like looking at the food but you being there is definitely a positive.” Y/N blinked, now it was her turn to be flustered, she didn’t expect him to just come out and say something like that.

“Right, yes, well, I’ll see you there then. Um, bye.”

“Yeah, yeah, goodbye.”

---

Taglist:

@hereforthejatp

@slutforjjmaybank @morganayennefertyrell

@dxestars @dcnerd98

@ultraworthlessbitch @revolutionary-werewolf-ghosts

@underc0vercryptid-reads @miisacore

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always-anxious612 · 4 years ago

Text

Magic in the Air: Chapter 6

Description: Everything is chaos with Roman, Dee, and Virgil all trying to master their magic. And If Patton can’t help with magic, then he could at least help Remus get a good grade. At least, that’s what he thought until everything started to backfire.

Pairings: roceit, analogical, intruality, platonic DRLAMP

Warnings: crying, pain mention (let me know if I missed something or you want something tagged)

Word Count: 1,529

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9

It had been a few days since Remus started practicing his makeup look on Patton. It was going pretty well in Patton’s opinion. Remus assured him that he thought it was coming along nicely as well, but Patton felt like he was frustrated for some reason. In fact, they had been beginning yet another practice session when Patton felt the odd feeling that something was ff with Remus once again. He studied Remus’s face as he leaned back to study his work so far.

“Looking fabulously gory already, Patton.” Remus grinned, making Patton raise an eyebrow. Why did it seem like frustration was practically radiating off of Remus when he seemed normal? Patton’s heart hurt a little as he tried to figure out what was wrong. He just wanted to help.

“Are you sure everything is going ok, Re?” he asked tentatively.

“Wha—of course everything’s going ok. I’ll have you looking like a broken bleeding human mess in no time.”

Patton bit his lip. He couldn’t help but feel that Remus was lying, but he didn’t really have anything to base it on other than he could just…feel it. Remus was focused on blending something on Patton’s forehead, looking unusually concentrated.

“Are—Are you sure that you’re ok?” Patton chanced asking again. Except for a subtle twitch in his expression, Remus remained focused.

“Of course, I am Patty. What’s with the questions? Not used to seeing me quiet and focused?” Remus cackled leaning back to examine what he was just working on. Patton let out a frustrated sigh and leaned back to study Remus’s face.

“Remus, please stop pretending. It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me what’s wrong right now but I know there’s something. You don’t have to pretend.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, tadpole.” Remus insisted, still smiling. Patton rolled his eyes fondly at the nickname but quickly leaned away when Remus tried to continue working. He could feel the frustration. He could feel something else too. Insecurity. Remus was radiating both emotions and Patton didn’t understand how he hadn’t noticed sooner. His heart twisted in pain. If he could just get Remus to open up, he could help.

“You do know what I’m talking about Remus. You do. Just—Just talk to me.” As soon as the words left his mouth, his heart started aching even more than before, radiating a sharp pain that wouldn’t leave. And suddenly Remus was crying through his smile. He—Patton couldn’t have—he didn’t cause—

“Calm down, Patty whack. I told you I’m fi—” he cut himself off with a sob and finally his smile slipped away.

“Wha—What? Why am I crying? When did this start? I feel fine?” Remus sniffled, trying desperately to push away his tears.

“Wait I’m sorry, Re I was too harsh. Please stop. I didn’t mean to make you cry. Don’t cry.” Patton panicked, not knowing how to respond. Surprisingly, Remus stopped at his request and wiped at his eyes. Patton’s heart clenched, his chest burning.

“Patton. What the—”

“I don’t—I didn’t. I just wanted to help you. I just want you to be able to tell me what’s wrong. Tell me what’s bothering you. Let it all out, Re Re.” Patton explained, trying to keep the edge of panic from his voice. Remus broke down again, cursing as he sobbed. He looked like he was struggling with something before finally opening his mouth.

“I’m scared I’m really not good enough to do this. What if my professor is right and I fail at the one thing I’m good at. What if I really am just a creep and a failure who no one likes. What if everyone hates my project. It’s too weird. I just want to make my professor proud. I want to make you proud. I can’t handle failing at my one passion. I can’t.” he blurted out.

“Remus.”

“What the heck. Patton, make it stop. I didn’t mean to. I feel like I can’t stop it. You—You’re doing this. Tell me to stop or—or something. Just make it stop, Patton.”

“Wha—o-ok, um, Remus, please calm down. Take deep breaths, ok? Breath for me, honey. Calm down.” Patton encouraged, drawing Remus into a hug. Remus sucked in a shaky breath and wiped at the tears streaming down his face. Patton sucked in a breath of his own. What had Remus meant he was doing this? Taking another deep breath, Patton pushed the thought aside, trying to clear his mind. After a few minutes, the sharp pain in his heart had mostly disappeared and he was much calmer.

“R-Remus, I’m so sorry for pushing you, but I’m sure you’ll do amazing for your makeup. You’re incredibly talented. But also, if your professor says it’s not good—which I can’t imagine will happen—that doesn’t mean you’re a failure. You can always improve, and you’re trying your best. It’s important that you have fun. You love makeup. If you can’t enjoy doing it anymore, then you’re putting too much pressure on yourself. Give yourself a break. What you create may not appeal to everyone but that’s fine. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, you’re incredible at the type of makeup you do. And I’m already proud of you, Re. You’re so creative and talented. Just because I don’t—I don’t exactly feel comfortable with some of the, um, darker things you make doesn’t mean I’m not proud of them or of you.”

Remus was silent and Patton was too nervous to try saying anything else. He didn’t mean to be so pushy. He really didn’t. Instead, he decided to simply hold Remus against his chest, rubbing his back in what he hoped was a comforting way.

“Patton, how did you do that?” Remus finally spoke up, his voice much softer and more vulnerable than usual.

“D-Do what?” Remus sighed and shifted in Patton’s arms, curling more into his chest.

“You—I wasn’t feeling that bad before. I was frustrated, yeah. And I guess all those thoughts were there, but when you told me to talk to you…I couldn’t stop crying. I physically couldn’t stop. When you said stop, I stopped. When you said to let it all out, I—I let it all out. I tried to stop the words. I tried to stop crying. I just—I couldn’t.”

“You think I forced you to—Remus. But that would mean that I have—But I would never. I didn’t mean to make you cry. I didn’t mean to make you tell me that stuff against your will. I would—I would never. I’m sorry. I’m sorry Remus.” Patton apologized over an over again, clinging to Remus who was squished against his chest. It wasn’t until he heard soft sniffles that Remus pulled away.

“Hey, Patty-whack, it’s ok. At this point, I’m pretty sure you have magic. And if it’s magic that we’re talking about. None of the others could really control it when they first discovered theirs either. It makes about as much sense as I do most of the time. In my opinion, you’re one of thos feelings people. What are they called? Empathy? Empass? Empath? Whatever, we’ll talk to Logan about it later, ok?” he soothed, gently wiping Patton’s tears away.

“Ok.” Patton whispered.

“Come on now. You’re going to ruin your makeup.”

“Sorry, Re.” Patton said, pausing in the process of going to wipe at his eyes.

“It’s fine. Actually, the dripping mascara kinda adds more creepy to it. I’ll have to see what I can do with that.” Remus replied, examining the makeup.

“Anyway, you can just wipe it off, we can practice more tomorrow.”

“Oh, but, um—I don’t mind starting over. I-If you like.” Patton stammered. He didn’t want to ruin Remus’s makeup practice on top of everything else.

“Pat, don’t worry about it, k? I still have plenty of time to practice. We can just relax for now, yeah?” Remus assured, tone becoming unusually caring. Sighing, Patton nodded and went to take off the makeup. He was still a bit worried for Remus, but he was sure he’d be ok. Remus wasn’t one to lose hope or be rattled easily. In fact, Remus was so tough and chaotic that it was sometimes hard to remember that he needed reassurance just like everyone else. Patton made a mental note to start complimenting him more. He deserved it anyway. And Patton, well Patton was terrified of messing up, of saying something wrong, of not being able to help those he cared about but…he’d be ok too, eventually.

When Patton returned to the living room, Remus had packed up all of his makeup supplies and had started a Disney movie.

“Hey, Patty! Check this out! Bet you didn’t know I could do this with my tongue!” Remus called from the couch. Patton couldn’t help the giggle that slipped out of his mouth. Yeah, Remus would be alright, and Patton would do better at helping him and learning to not be so, um, pushy when it came to good and gross. As for his apparent magic, he’d talk to Logan about it eventually. Today though, he’d rest. And with Remus cuddled to his side, that’s exactly what he did.

Taglist: @catolicabuena @look-ma-im-on-tv @its-always-the-witching-hour @sure-i-exist @wellhellothere09 @star-crossed-shipper @cemmy @lila-lupus

#crying tw #pain tw #roceit #analogical #intruality #platonic drlamp #ts patton #ts logan #ts roman #ts virgil #ts deceit #ts remus #sanders sides #sanders sides fics #my fics #cait writes #ts magic au #ts human au

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evasivaardilosa · 4 years ago

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Hey guys! As promised, I am back after watching the movie. Actually, that’s a funny story. Wednesday was a holiday here so I just downloaded a p*ratebay version of it, the image was too dark and the audio was too quiet and I forgot I can’t understand stuff in English without subs (Eng subs are fine) so I just got half of what happened, but then Friday I got a better version and watched it today. I still don’t wanna talk about it bc I think I need to enjoy it by myself a little longer before seeing what the internet is saying but if anyone has a post about the easter eggs in hand, I am very interested

Leaving that aside, the semi hiatus was fun fandom wise here

My figures of Scorpion and Sub-Zero arrived, I love them. Still didn’t figure a place for them in my room but I am working on it

mkm had the Klassic Ninja pack these days including Klassic Noob, but I had been neglecting it so I didn’t have a lot of souls. Didn’t get Noob, but fused my Klassic Ermac, and I think I finished the challenge golds now? So yay.

I did get my best moments in mk11 tho. My new attempt at Test Your Luck gave me a Noob boss battle so now I have his Luckality and it’s so convenient the two moves I overuse are brutality moves. But really, my friend Sheeva alone did most of the work in getting me to finish all four stages of those damn towers! Between Noob and Geras with their Luckalities and my superpowered Sheeva, I now can also solo 2/3 coop towers (the third one seems to require you to find someone online but I am still not paying for it). I felt invencible until I summoned the Lucky Tower again and got a Jacqui in the 4 matches tower... She just destroyed my best fighters, now I have no idea of what to do. But anyway, even if I can’t figure out how to beat her, I just have to summon it again until I get some tower without her, this shouldn’t be a problem

I also seem to have emptied the krypt, included the shrine, of skins and kosmetics. Yet, even with augments everywhere, I don’t seem to find the ones I need to make superpowered versions of other characters. Also it’s sad that this happened just when I figured out that my Lucky Blows Kabal (using Smoke and Mirrors + Pure and Simple) just needed that augment that gets souls for krushing blows and that other that converts souls to koins to give me the quickest money I ever made in this game.

I also watched a couple more Conquest episodes today and I kinda like what they did with Mileena’s backstory. It’s in no way better than the current one but it’s interesting. But yeah, G Kung Lao fucked Mileena and we have to live with this. Siro has blessed genes. Shao Kahn’s voice does things to me. The trio has just one braincell and it’s usually with Kung Lao, sometimes with Taja. Siro isn’t seen with it often.

Siro’s backstory with his brother reminded me a bit of Bi-Han and Kuai Liang.... If we are to draw parallels, I guess Taja has some Skarlet vibes, backstory wise, since they take very different paths

My sister said the sentence “Sub-Zero freezes his problems” and she is not wrong

I want to open requests but it will probably have to wait until next month. By the way are you guys familiarized with AO3’s prompt memes? I am thinking of opening them there. Depending on how it goes, I could use both ao3 and tumblr for it, it all depends on where I can reach more people who would be interested. If there’s anyone who would be interested, of course.

That’s it. It’s good to be back in this blog. Now, I will leave you all with my father’s words:

PRESIDENT GORO!

(It’s our Baraka Obama)

#ea talks #look i dont support moro but PRESIDENT GORO is who we need #great kung lao still has a nice ass #i want klassic noob so badly #and klassic jade #all klassic ninjas #i faced mk11 rain in the tower and he is badass #mortal kombat conquest #gaming logs

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kaibacxrps · 4 years ago

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Name / Alias: Vani Are you over 18? Yes / No Is your muse(s) over 18? Yes / No / Verse Dependent / Depends on the muse you’re asking Kaiba & Set = yes | Atem = no When was your blog established? Kaibacxrps: May 2020 (the og sideblog) moved him to here on Jun 2020 // Quebracabeca: Sept 2020

– W R I T I N G –

Are you selective about who you write with?

No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people) / Private (mutuals only).

Are you selective about who you follow?

No (anyone) / Semi (most people) / Yes (some people) / Highly (few people).

If your muse is canon, how much do you adhere to canon?

Not at all / A little / Some / Mostly / Strictly / Not Applicable. (I try to expand on the areas that were left vague, or the serie didn’t get into.)

What post lengths do you write?

One-Liners / Single-Para / Multi-Para / Novella / All of the aforementioned. (one-liners are only for cracks/dash shenanigans)

Do you use icons and/or GIFS?

No / Gifs / Icons / Yes / Sometimes.

Do you write on other platforms?

No / Yes (discord)

What level of plots do you write?

Unplotted / Open-Ended Plots / Semi-Plotted / Fully Plotted Epics / All of the aforementioned (I have a preference for plotted stuff. Knowing the course of events and my partner’s muse makes things a lot easier for me.)

How quickly do you usually respond to threads?

Very Slow (more than a month) / Slow (3-4 weeks) / Average (1-2 weeks) / Fast (less than one week) / Very Fast (less than three days) (It depends on the kind of thread & the size of it TBH)

What types of themes do you like?

Adventure / Romance / Fluff / ANGST / Violence (I won’t write gore in great detail) / Tragedy / Domestic / Family

WHAT GENRES DO YOU LIKE? ( Feel free to add! )

High Fantasy / Supernatural / Science Fiction / Historical / Horror / Comedy / Romantic / Drama / Action / Smut / Adventure / Espionage / All of the aforementioned

Are there any themes you’re uncomfortable writing on your blog? (Not triggers)

No / Yes / Sometimes

Very descriptive gore can leave me feeling ill. I’m not against delving into taboo territory, but I feel like somethings are best left outside of tumblr and should be kept in discord- privately. I only do them with people I trust on, because I don’t want to romanticize anything.

Do you have any triggers? How do you request it tagged?

I have no triggers! But I ask for my mutuals to tag anything related to politics/IRL stuff, I’m not here for those things. Sorry, not sorry.

I also have some ships filtered/blacklisted, because I have 0 interest in seeing them on my dash. (They are: Puppy/violetshipping & corruptshipping).

– S H I P P I N G –

What types of relationships are you open to?

Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

I’m open to anything really, however be aware that most of them just really aren’t made for certain things. I’m even more picky/selective when it comes to my Atem.

What types of pre-established relationships are you open to?

Romantic / Platonic / Familial / All of the aforementioned

Again, I’m game to anything with my muses. But we need to come up with something that works for our muses, and doesn’t feel forced.

Do you have OTPs?

No / Chemistry Only / Yes

Kaiba: Rival / Money / Master / Pride Set: Headdress / Truth / Mizu / Historychannel (Rosenkreuz/Set) Atem: Scandal / Pride

Do you have NOTPS?

No / Yes

Kaiba: Tabloid / Mirror / Puppy or Violet Set: Corrupt Atem: Caste / Dark / Fragile (just don’t put Atem with any of the Bakuras, thanks.)

What is your muse’s sexual orientation?

Heterosexual / Heteroflexible / Bisexual / Pansexual / Homoflexible / Homosexual / Demisexual / Sapiosexual / Asexual / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking

Kaiba is homosexual

Atem and Set are bisexuals

What is your muse’s romantic orientation?

Heteroromantic / Heteroflexible / Biromantic / Homoflexible / Homoromantic / Panromantic / Demiromantic / Sapioromantic / Aromantic / Still trying to figure it out / Depends on the muse you’re asking

Kaiba is unable to fall in love with/develop any bonds with anyone due to his upbringing, because of that he can’t be considered aromantic.

Atem and Set are biromantics.

Are you comfortable writing smut?

No / Selectively / Yes

Kaiba and Set are completely open to it, I’ve got an entire smut blog just for that! Atem however, I’m keeping smut only for the people I ship him with after extensive plotting/discussion has been made.

How early in a relationship do you ship romantically?

Autoship / During plotting / After a couple IC interactions / Several IC interactions / Slow burn / Plot dependent / Never

Are you open to toxic ships?

No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure

And it won’t be sugar-coated or romanticized.

Are you open to problematic ships?

No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure

Depends on the ship. While for the most part I’m not opposed to delving into darker subjects, there are certain things where even I have to draw a line. This is especially important, considering how young the YGO cast really is. Yes, this especially includes Atem. Who by all means, is still technically in a way- a 16 years old.

Are you open to polyshipping?

No / Selectively / Yes / I am not sure

I personally have no problem with them, but most of my muses just aren’t open to something like this. Set is the only one I have, who might be into it.

Are you an exclusive shipper?

Never / Sometimes / Yes / I would be open to discuss it

Atem is the only exception to this, and even then that’s only from my end. For Kaiba and Set, I cap the limit of doubles from the same character by 3. No more than that, otherwise it just becomes overwhelming.

Does crack shipping ever happen?

Nope / Yes / depends / altho they normally become normal ships

#ooc /#; dash games

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horansqueen · 5 years ago

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AM Conversations : chapter 53

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46 || CHAPTER 47 || CHAPTER 48 || CHAPTER 49 || CHAPTER 50 || CHAPTER 51 || CHAPTER 52

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- note for this chapter: im sorry.

one request and probably the last one for this story. ill try to fit the others in the sequel!

Chapter 53 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

The honk of Louis' car took me out of my thoughts and I quickly put my vans on and rushed outside. I saw him send me an exaggerated smile as he kept honking until I was sitting next to him on the passenger's side and I quickly put my hand over his on the wheel.

"Oh my god, you're so annoying!" I joked with a laugh, making him frown as his lips parted.

"Look who's talking!" he added, making me laugh even more.

I rolled my eyes and put my seat belt on right before he got back on the road. We remained silent for a few minutes but Louis finally glanced at me before looking in front of him again.

"Where's Niall today?" he asked cautiously, making me shrug. "He seems busy these days."

I glanced by the window and sighed, closing my eyes and licking my lips. Of course I missed Niall but I knew he was busy and it was alright. I didn't want to become the kind of girlfriend that needed to spend 24/7 with her boyfriend. I've never been like that when we were just friends and although it was obviously different now, I wanted to still remain the same person. I still wanted to be me and not feel like I've changed for him or like I need him to breathe. Of course, it sort of went hand in hand with the part of me that was jealous and insecure but I knew that these flaws made everything so much harder on both of us. Of course, I had reasons to feel like that now but I knew I had two choices : to get over it and not hold grudges, or to get over him and not forgive him. The first option was what I was aiming for.

"Are you two okay now?" Louis added, clearly concerned.

I turned to him and sent him a fond smile, tilting my head. I never thought i'd have so many affinities with Louis but the more I hung out with him, the more I realized how similar we were about pretty much everything. When Niall and I were only friends, I never really took the time to get to know him. He was with Eleanor and to me, they came as a pair. Now, I was seeing a part of him that I didn't notice back then and it made me see how incredible of a human being he was. I pushed my hair over my shoulder and shrugged.

"We're better."

"Did you forgive him?"

I chuckled and looked down. I hated how he could read me so easily sometimes but also, it was comforting. I was not the type to confide much, so having someone who already knew seemed convenient.

"Not yet, but i'm working on it." I confessed in a low tone. "It's not really what he did that I can't forgive, i'm just mad that it makes me even more insecure and scared."

"With reason!" Louis argued, talking a bit louder. "He didn't cheat on you and I know he never would, but that went over the limit. I mean I don't get it. How can he take care of you, and love you, and do things for you... and then the very same night, he goes and flirts with some random chick he met at a bar. That makes no sense!"

"It makes total sense." I admitted low, looking down at my hands as I played with my fingers. "He was already taking care of me when we were just friends. He did things for me, he loved me... it's all stuff he's used to. But not being faithful to me. He never had to stop himself from shagging other girls before. He never had to do that before because we were just friends."

We both went silent and after a while, I felt Louis' hand reach for mine on my lap. He squeezed my fingers hard and I had to swallow to keep my tears in.

"He'll learn." he let out while nodding. "I'll hit him a few times behind the head and he'll learn."

His words made me burst into laughter and I squeezed his hand back, turning to look at him. His lips curled too and this time, we laughed at the same time. My smile fell a bit when he took his hand back to put it on the wheel and I licked my lips, staring down at my hands again.

"I'm just scared he'll stop loving me, and..."

Louis parked the car, undid his seat belt and turned his whole body in my direction, giving me his full attention. Instead to do the same, I kept staring at my fingers, my hands now damp because of stress and I was not even sure why.

"Hey, hey," he started in a whisper, reaching for my hand again. "You can tell me anything."

I knew and I sighed, turning to look at him, my eyes finally meeting his.

"Sometimes I wonder if I really love him as much as I think I do." I let out, making Louis' facial expression turn into surprise. "I've loved him for decades. Is it possible that I just... I don't know, that I just wanted him for so long that I'm just with him because I finally have him?"

Reaching for my other hand, Louis squeezed both of them hard enough to keep my attention on him. He moved his chin down but his eyes opened wider as they never left mine.

"Darlin', listen to me." he said slowly as I bit my bottom lip. "I'm not gonna pretend I know how you feel or what you should do. But loving someone for a long time and very intensely is not a bad thing, and it's not wrong. And just because you've loved someone since forever doesn't mean that it became a banal or insignificant feeling, or that it left. Some couples live together until they die and their love was always real." he took a short pause. "What about you, right here, right now... how do you feel about him?"

"I love him." I immediately answered. "I love him more than anything, more than anyone, and I can't imagine ever loving someone else that way. But i'm hurt, and i'm sad, and i'm scared, and jealous, too. And all these emotions... they're draining me. I'm exhausted."

I heard the 'click' of my seat belt and ended up in Louis' arms quickly when he pulled me into a hug I desperately needed without knowing. I was not even surprised that he squeezed me tight against him and I held him as close as I could, as if he could disappear. I buried my face in his sweatshirt and brushed my nose gently on it, inhaling his scent. It was reassuring and I tried to swallow my tears again when I felt him kiss the top of my head.

"We'll be late." Louis finally said in a very low tone before he hugged me even tighter and finally let go. He looked down at me and raised his eyebrows again, his voice soft. "You're okay?"

I nodded and he sent me a small smile before we both got out of the car. He opened the door for me and we walked inside, following the guy in the back of the shop.

"Who's first?"

I smiled more and moved my hand up slightly.

"Moi, as usual."

"You say that like i'm a fuckin' coward!"

As an answer, I just laughed and sat down, handing the guy my piece of paper and leaning my elbows on my knees.

"Black?"

"Yes, just black."

I closed my eyes for a few seconds as I felt the needles in the skin of my back but finally opened them again to look at Louis who was staring at the drawing I had brought.

"Why get the tattoo of a heart? It's not even well-drawn." he asked with a frown before his face suddenly changed. "Ah. It has something to do with Niall doesn't it?"

I sent him a smile and shrugged a shoulder.

"I've always wanted something that represented our friendship but you know him, he'd never get a tattoo with me." I explained, making Louis chuckle and nod. "So one morning he was late and I asked him to write his nickname on a piece of paper and he was so busy and in a rush he just wrote it without thinking and I got it tattooed on my lower back. It was at the beginning of our relationship, and I thought I could add a heart around it."

"Cheesy." Louis opened his eyes wide and leaned against his chair.

"I know."

"Does he know you got his name tattooed? And in his handwriting too?"

I rolled my eyes and laughed before raising my nose up.

"You think he saw me naked since that day?"

Louis laughed but shook his head.

"A few times I reckon."

It only took a few minutes for the artist to be done and when I felt him wipe the ink off my skin, I turned my head to him and thanked him. Louis got up and went to see the heart around my older 'Nialler' tattoo and nodded slowly. I didn't know if Niall would notice it but we never really discussed the other tattoo and I didn't insist or anything. I knew he had noticed though because sometimes, his fingertips would brush exactly where his name was and somehow, it made me happy.

We switched place and I waited until he got something on his arm too. It was a date but I didn't mention it and after we paid, we just got out of the tattoo shop and I brought my arms around myself. It was already november and despite my sweater, I was still cold.

"Does it have to do with Eleanor?" I just asked, looking up at him. "Your new tattoo."

"Mmhm, date we met."

"Aren't you dating Briana?"

"Dating?" he chuckled, glancing at me and pushing his hands in his pockets. "No!"

I looked up at him and we stopped on both sides of his car, near the front doors. I watched him play with his keys and the sound made me suddenly anxious. I stared at him and it suddenly hit me: something wasn't right. I leaned slightly against the car to get his attention but when I couldn't, I let out a short 'hey' and instinctively, he looked up, his sad eyes meeting mine.

"What's wrong, Louis?" I asked in a soft tone, feeling light tinglings at the bottom of my back due to my tattoo. "You can tell me anything, you know?"

He stared at me a first more seconds and finally sighed through his nose.

"I know Liv, I know."

Without a word, he opened the door and sat in front of the wheel, closing the door a bit roughly. I licked my lips and nibbled on my bottom one for a few seconds before sitting back in the car with him. I didn't insist, there was no need to, as long as he knew I was there and always would be, that's all that mattered.

He drove in silence until we were at the restaurant and when we sat at a table, we started talking like nothing had happened. We didn't talk about Eleanor, Briana, or even Niall. We just laughed at old stories from the tour, talked about family and tried to keep everything light and fun. It felt good not to think about my problems for a few hours but as soon as I was back in front of Niall's house, it all came back to me. I looked at the front door knowing he wasn't home yet, but I couldn't get myself to get out of Louis' car. I had no idea why but I felt like bursting into tears for no fucking reason and when Louis' hand reached for my thigh, I jumped slightly, swallowing a lump in my throat.

"Hey, do you want me to stay?"

I didn't dare turning to him, I just looked at Niall's house, who was supposed to be also mine by now, and shook my head slowly.

"No, I'll be fine." I let out in a low tone. "I'll text you later."

A few more seconds went by as I remained motionless but after a while, I turned to Louis and kissed his cheek, my palm pressed on his face.

"Thanks for today."

"Welcome, princess."

I rolled my eyes with a small smile. "Don't call me that."

He smiled more and I pulled away, tilting my head. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want to be alone, and for a reason I ignored, I didn't feel at ease. I felt nervous and sad even if there was no reason for me to feel like that.

"Love you."

"Love you too." I replied in a low tone before sighing and finally getting out of his car.

He waited until I was inside to leave and I stood by the door for a few minutes, letting my eyes roam on the living room. It was quiet and I just walked to our room to drop my stuff. I sat in bed, feeling weird, and closed my eyes, trying to breathe in and out slowly and deeply. I missed Niall, and it was probably why I felt like shit. Holding on to that thought, I got up and walked to the wall mirror, turning around and twisting my body slightly before moving the bottom of my shirt up. A small smile appeared on my lips when I noticed the heart now drawn around Niall's name and ran my fingers on it. It didn't bleed and was barely swollen and I loved the effect it had. It was a simple heart, not equal at all, that Niall had doodled at the bottom of a note that he had left for me one morning, but it looked nice with his hand-written name. I kept tracing the outline of the heart with the tip of my fingers and I swallowed a lump in my throat before whispering a few words, as if he could hear me.

"I love you so fucking much."

----

I waved at Niall from the couch when he walked in and he sent me a small but awkward smile. He got undressed and changed into comfortable clothes before sitting next to me on the couch. Like a magnet, I cuddled his side and I felt him tense next to me. I tried to ignore it as I leaned my head on his shoulder. He smelled good : a mix of sweat and cologne, and I brought my chin up to reach his jaw with my lips, leaving a soft kiss on it. His stubble scratched slightly my skin and I liked it a lot more than I should have. I reached for his hand and squeezed his fingers but they remained limp in mine and it made me feel a bit more anxious.

I moved away from him and sat better on the couch in a way that I could face him. I waited until he'd look at me but he just got up without sending me a glance and my eyes followed him until he was out of the room.

"Niall?" I asked, realizing I didn't talk louder enough. "Niall!"

Quickly, I rushed to the kitchen but stopped myself near the wall as he opened the fridge and took a beer out. He leaned against the counter and I felt my heart drop in my chest. Fuck I loved him, I loved him so much. I loved him more than I did when I was a kid. I loved him more than I did before we started dating. I loved him more than I did yesterday. I loved him more than I did a minute ago.

"Look, Liv, we need to talk."

I held my breath at his words, realizing I hadn't heard his voice today yet and the first thing I heard was this horrible sentence. I swallowed hard, feeling suddenly nauseous as he reached again in the fridge for an other beer but quickly opened it for me before handing it to me. Reluctantly, I took a few steps closer and grabbed the beer. My fingers brushed against his and I swallowed again but this time, it was tears. I didn't say anything, I just waited, looking at him as he took a few sips from his drink and avoided my eyes but when his gaze finally met mine, I knew it was too late.

"I think we should break up, Olivia." he let out firmly. "At least, for now."

It felt like someone had hit me in the head. I could have sworn having someone literally rip your heart out of your chest didn't hurt as bad as these words in his mouth. I shook my head slightly and slowly as my lips parted. The beer slipped out of my hand and ended on the floor but surprisingly, he didn't even budge or look at it. He kept staring at me and I took a step back.

"No." I whispered with a frown. "Why?"

He pushed himself off the counter and passed his free hand in his hair, making something stir in my stomach. He couldn't do that to me, could he?

"I'm just not ready for a relationship." he explained, raising his shoulders. "I don't want to commit, be official, and everything."

"I'm.. i'm not the first girl you date. You dated Maya before me? And a few other girls?"

Everything he said didn't make sense and my stomach hurt so much I thought I was going to throw up or pass out.

"I didn't love any of them, I knew I wouldn't stay with them." he explained, putting his beer away and taking a few steps closer to me. Without thinking, I backed away and shook my head again. "But what we have is real.. it's deep, I mean, it could last forever."

"That makes no sense." I let out very low with a frown. "What are you talking about?"

He walked up to me and this time, I didn't move. The way he looked down at me made me swallow and melt at the same time. His gaze was soft and when his fingers reached for my cheek, I realized his touch was gentle and I could almost swear he was about to kiss me. He didn't, though. Why would anyone kiss someone they're breaking up with? Why would anyone kiss someone they're deliberately breaking the heart of?

"I've never been in love before and I knew whatever I had with them wouldn't last. But you and me? It's different. We could spend our lives together."

"And we were supposed to." I pointed out, feeling tears run down my cheeks. "But you're ruining it."

He didn't say anything but his face changed and I could see how hurt he was. It was all over his face and I didn't understand why he was in pain for leaving me.

"I'm sorry, Olivia." he added, shaking his head a bit, his eyes never leaving mine. "I know it's selfish but i'm just not ready... i'm not ready to accept this as what i'll go through every day. We fight and we make up and then cuddle on the couch... this is not what I want for me, this is not what I want for us."

"Don't fucking lie, Niall. You're just not ready to accept that you'll only wake up to me every morning, that you won't get to see an other naked girl dress up and leave your room at dawn and that you'd have to call me to tell me you'll stay late at the bar with your friends. It's your freedom you're saving over our love. It's your fucking freedom that you don't want to lose. And clearly you love it more than you love me."

He stayed silent for a while but I could read in his eyes that I was right and that realization hurt more than anything else. It seemed like I couldn't breathe anymore and I closed my eyes to focus on the beatings of my heart as I tried to inhale deeply. I was still alive, right? Because it didn't feel like it at all.

"I love you so much. So fucking much."

His voice seemed to reach my soul and I opened my eyes but suddenly, I was mad at him and I hated him for hurting me, for ruining this love story but also this friendship, for doing what he promised he wouldn't do. He pressed his palm more against my face but I quickly and roughly pushed his arm away.

"Don't you fucking touch me, don't you fucking dare tell me you love me!" I said angrily. "You don't love me! I love you!"

"But I do! Olivia I do love you!"

I chuckled meanly and shook my head, moving past him.

"D'you want to know where you can put that love, Niall?"

His face was still showing pain but at that point, I didn't care.

"Don't say that Liv, please..."

I turned around and shook my head, barely seeing him because of all the tears flooding my eyes. I felt like I was going to drown and I was okay with it. Nothing seemed to matter anymore.

"Oh fuck off, Niall!"

It came out a lot louder than intended and I even surprised myself. I didn't wait for his answer and rushed to our room, feeling something stir inside me at the irony. It wasn't 'our' room anymore and would never be again. I grabbed one of my bags and threw a bunch of stuff in it randomly without really thinking and when I walked back to the living room, Niall quickly turned to me, his eyes softening as they met mine. I felt tears coming to my eyes again but kept them in, swallowing them so hard it actually physically hurt. This whole situation hurt me physically and mentally and there was nothing I could do about it.

I stared at him, trying to engrave this image on my retina forever... the last image of my best friend I was ever going to see. He put his hands in his pockets and glanced down before looking up at me. I thought he was going to say something and I wanted to hear his voice again more than anything. I wanted him to tell me he was joking, or that he had changed his mind. I wanted him to tell me he loved me more than his freedom, more than his comfort, more than anything else in the world. I wanted him to tell me he couldn't live without me. But he didn't.

"I'll pick the rest of my stuff later."

I walked to the door and as soon as my back was facing him, I started crying again, but in silence this time. I was not crying angrily or sobbing anymore. I was crying in a sad, defeated and hopeless way. My hand reached for the doorknob and i heard his voice.

"I love you, Olivia. I always will. You're the love of my life."

I remained motionless for a few seconds and swallowed again. There were so many things I wanted to tell him but no matter what I said, nothing would change his mind, I could feel it. I just opened the door and left without closing it behind myself. Nothing was worth it anymore. I had lost my best friend, my boyfriend, my lover... I had lost everything.

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