#R has heard this all already but i think writing it out helps me organize my thoughts on it

[elucubrare]

a historian whose book i was listening to argues that you shouldn't take the Seven Years War as an inevitable precursor to the American Revolution, because the people who lived during the period didn't know the first would lead to the second, and it's bugged me for a month --

I think it's because on the face of it it seems like a wise caution against presentism and assuming that because things happened as they did it was the only way it could happen, but my argument for the importance of the Seven Years War to the Revolutionary War doesn't in any way depend on colonists knowing that they were going to rebel in the near future -

if i say that the importance of colonial troops in the Seven Years War 1) showed the colonists that the British Crown needed them & wasn't providing them support commensurate with the value they provided the Crown & 2) gave those colonists who served in the Colonial Companies the military experience they used in the Revolutionary War, there's nothing in there that in any way indicates that those were intentional outcomes on the part of the colonists.

so "remember that historical people don't know the outcome" is a fine guide, i suppose

(and I was much more convinced by it in Peter Brown's analysis of Late Antique Rome, honestly, maybe because i'm much more familiar with the historiography of the end of the Western Roman Empire so I've seen a lot of assumption that 1) everyone knew they were doomed 2) the empire was falling into a state of decay it could never rise from - Brown argues that to people at the time, the fifth century probably actually felt like they were stable & perhaps even better off than the generations before, and gives evidence that several crises had stabilized, which does change the analysis of the Gothic aquisition of Rome),

but it also seems to me to be fairly empty if you actually dig into it - again, it doesn't change my analysis of the period in any meaningful way.

[jinkicake]

Somebody’s Watching Me

What happens when you ignore him after a fight (#groveling).

Diluc Ragnvindr x Reader

Kaeya Alberich x Reader

Xiao x Reader

A/N: I actually wrote this back in July bc i wanted angst and tension and I meant to post it then but I didn’t have the balls to (still dont but--)... it took me three hours to write less than 3k.... im not who i used to be its so- whateverrrrr,,, as always more of my thoughts are after the tags kekeke, can you tell i still adore angst?

WC - around 2.7K

~~~

Diluc R.

Baby daddy Diluc would love to give you space after a disagreement but, he can’t. He finds himself distracted with everything and anything, nothing can get done when you’re upset with him. Without your forgiveness, he becomes a lost soul! He follows you around like a kicked puppy, he can’t help it! Listen, this man is protective as shit and refuses to be in your bad graces. He’ll do anything to make it up to you, even giving you space if you really want it (although that is the last thing he wants). If you ignore him for too long tho, he might just melt into a puddle of goo and wipe out!

“My love, please-”

“No, Dliuc!” You push away his gloved hand being held out to you, the one that so desperately yearns to cup your cheek, you scoff at it. You scoff at him and Diluc feels his heart aching deep in his chest. “You might not think much of it but, I do. Leave me alone.” 

The words harshly slap against him, leaving the man speechless as he pathetically opens and closes his mouth to say anything to get you back. His feet feel as if they’re made out of stone and he knows that no weight could ever keep him from running to you but, now, with the hurt on your face; he feels too ashamed to do anything but watch you storm out of the Winery. 

He didn’t know that a snide comment about his brother would snowball into this, you and your unmoving anger. 

You’re just so stubborn, so beautiful, that it makes him want to tug at his fiery roots until he yanks his hair out. Diluc knows he said the wrong thing, that maybe talking so lowly of someone you consider a dear friend wasn’t the right thing to do but, he simply could not help it. 

Because Diluc watches whenever you step into his field of vision, makes sure to keep you within a safe distance beside him so then he feels comfortable enough to carry on with whatever he was doing. 

The same thing happened earlier in the night, everything was fine after his usual scan of the room, but then he heard your laugh. Your charming laugh, one that he thought was reserved for him was instead being spoiled by his brother. It’s a miracle the glass he was drying in his hand didn’t shatter at that moment. Diluc is more than aware of your close friendship with Kaeya, he knows of all the commissions the two of you share and he hates it. Your relationship irks him in a way that he can’t comprehend and he’s aware that he needs to fix that. Fix his jealousy. However, it’s clearly taking much longer than he thought. 

Instead of worrying, Diluc focuses on organizing the newly cleaned glasses he left after dinner. One by one, he sets them up perfectly on the shelf before carefully placing each napkin in its rightful stack. It’s become his ritual of cleaning the Winery each night. But, now he’s just distracting himself from the inevitable feeling that has already begun to set in. A mix of worry and guilt, inevitably overpowered by rejection. 

His strong fingers thump against the clean dining table and for a moment, Diluc distracts himself from the one thing he wants most. You. It’s a distraction short-lived because he cracks a single finger before making his way deep into the office. Perhaps his paperwork will give him a large enough headache to distract him once more. 

The numbing pain building in his temple is nothing compared to the hollow ache blooming in his chest. The mundane task works, the countless amount of numbers he checks over and over again do their job until he hears the gentle sound of the door opening. For a moment, he thinks he may have imagined it but then he hears your footsteps and Diluc is out of his chair and pushing the door out of his way to meet you. 

Even if you glance at him and ignore him, walking further up the stairs to create more distance, Diluc already feels the ache starting to soothe over. He follows you after you, keeping a safe amount of paces behind you. Quietly, he moves as if you won’t be able to notice his six-foot frame doing so. 

“Beloved,” He starts and you greet him with the bedroom door closing in his face. The action causes a small smile to appear on his face, but Diluc quickly shakes it away. “please,” 

It’s nearing midnight and neither of you has time for this. The last thing Diluc wants is you going to sleep upset with him. 

He sighs softly before following you into the bathroom, the man feels ashamed and it burns brightly in his chest, 

“I’m sorry,” He murmurs against your neck, slowly breathing in the alluring scent entangled with your hair. “please forgive me.” In his own selfish way, a side he can only show towards you, he doesn’t really give you a choice. Diluc’s strong, muscular arms are wrapped around your waist and holding onto you so tightly. You couldn’t get away from him now without a fight. “I’m working on… my jealousy. Darling, please.” 

Even you have to admit how hard it is to deny Diluc when he is begging so earnestly. 

You lightly place your hand on top of his own, squeezing him gently before glancing back to place a gentle kiss on his jaw. He sighs with relief. 

“I won’t forgive you so easily next time.”

“I know. I will hold you to it.”

Kaeya A.

Kaeya, my forever #1 in this game, would need space after a heavy disagreement. If you walk one way then he will walk in the other direction until he cools off. However, it usually takes him about ten meters before he realizes that he should escort you wherever you’re going so he just follows while silently stewing in his own anger. Kaeya doesn’t show it, he never does because he doesn’t want to displease you but, his upset feelings are there. But, he loves you and would kiss the ground that you walk on to prove it to you. 

“Fine then.”

“Fine!” You shriek, and how it got to this, Kaeya isn’t really sure. He watches as you turn away and walk towards the entrance of Mondstadt, his stare lingers for a few moments before he heads towards the cathedral. The two of you always know how to make a scene, even when no one is around and it is late into the evening and all the shops around have closed. He finds that to be a good thing, he didn’t want an audience tonight. Not like this anyway. 

His blood is still rushing through his veins, he can hear his heart thumping in his ears. He can still recall the fire burning in your eyes and the distinct way that your hands trembled by your sides every time either of your voices got louder. The captain feels guilty above anything else, anger is still there but he knows it’s an emotion that will fade away quickly. 

“Damn it, (Y/N),” Kaeya sighs before tilting his head back, giving himself the view of the starry sky. You always did love the night sky. He knows what he said was wrong, that maybe he shouldn’t have insinuated that you needed support on such a lowly ranked mission but, he couldn’t help it. Kaeya does not like to take chances with you and he would rather underestimate you than overestimate, even if that makes you burn brighter in fury than his brother’s hair. 

He just didn’t expect you to get so angry, he thought that maybe you would understand and take it down a notch. Kaeya can’t stand to see you get hurt, to find you fighting multiple monsters all by yourself at once. There’s nothing in this world that could save him if something happened to you, why don’t you get that?

Any unresolved anger gets put on the back burner of his mind, Kaeya decides to make it his priority to look for you. He’ll be damned if you don’t want to be found. 

“Stubborn ass,” He murmurs as he heads out the gates, there are a number of places that you could be. Kaeya finds himself so focused, consumed with this one thing he wants so badly, that he doesn’t even blink as he passes the darknight hero. 

The redhead beside him lets out a noise that is somewhere between a scoff and a laugh. 

“(Y/N),” Kaeya calls when he sees you on the other side of the bridge outside the walls of Mondstadt, feet hanging off of the side while you stare at the ducks in the lake below. He sounds playful and that instantly causes your face to sour. Your lips purse at his voice, eyebrows furrowing together, you merely blink at Kaeya before turning your attention back to the water. “don’t ignore me, sweetest.” 

In a way, Kaeya is still trying to level his own anger. He’s still processing the effects of your previous conflict while balancing your current conversation. It takes him a moment or two to find the right footing. 

“What’s got you bothered, babe?” He sits down beside you very close to the point that there are mere centimeters that keep your thighs from touching. You look at him with a blank expression but Kaeya can see the irritation embedded in your features. “Oh?” He sounds amused when you ignore him once more but, that could be further from the truth. Kaeya is neither entertained nor delighted by this, no, he’s pissed. “Come on, talk to me,” He urges again and this time, he wraps his arm around your shoulders to pull you into his chest. “you wound me, (Y/N).” 

“You wound me!” You finally snap at him, eyes filled with a rage that clearly hasn’t left you from before. “You think I’m weak!” 

“I do not, my darling. I just think you need some extra help whenever I can’t join you.” Kaeya’s words do little to soothe your anger, in fact, you just become more irritated. You attempt to push yourself up, to stand up and walk away from him but the captain pulls you tightly into his chest. “You’re not running away from me again~” Had you not been so upset you would have caved in at his honeyed words, taking a rest in his strong arms. “I just want you to stay safe, you get that, don’t you?”

Some part of you can understand that. 

“I’m sorry if I had upset you, sweetest, but I want to make sure nothing happens to you.” Almost as if he is trying to emphasize his words, Kaeya’s arms squeeze around you tightly. “Please let me protect you,”

“I can protect you too, okay?” You stubbornly stare at him and the challenge that rests within your eyes makes his heart flutter. “and myself.”

“Do you promise me?” Kaeya dips his head down, brushing his lips over yours. 

“I promise.”

And he seals that with a kiss. 

Xiao

If, for some reason, you end up in a disagreement with Xiao and you tell him to politely ‘fuck off’; he will respect your wishes. Xiao will respect it and you by keeping a safe distance of 50 meters between the two of you. Sorry to say this (teehee not really) but the adeptus will not let you out of his sight. He makes it his duty to protect you so when he ends up being the one that hurts you, he works tenfold to make up for it. Quietly, he will follow until you’re ready to come back and talk with him once more. 

“Leave me alone, Xiao.” You didn’t have to even look over your shoulder to tell he was there. Still, you frown when you see your boyfriend behind you perched on the top of a large rock. Irritation blooms in your chest and you hastily try to swallow it down by taking a few more steps down the dirt path. 

“Okay.” His voice is soft, almost as it if he speaks it like a promise. You sigh out in relief, feeling a weight lifting off of your shoulders because sometimes you just need space. But then he appears on another boulder in front of you, teleporting, and it almost feels as if he is mocking you. 

Xiao watches you carefully, he doesn’t let his amber eyes leave your sight for even a second as you continue to aimlessly walk through the Bishui plain. Had you not known him so well, you would have thought he was angry. His face is hard as his hollow eyes stare and stare to make sure you feel his presence all around you. 

This is a normal Xiao. Protective and kind, always worrying about you almost more than needed. No amount of arguing or convincing could get him to see that you’re fine without him hovering around you every second of every day. The mere thought makes you wince and ache blooms in your chest at the harsh words spat between the two of you earlier in the evening. 

You shouldn’t have called him obsessive and paranoid. 

He shouldn’t have called you weak and helpless. 

Carefully, you glance over your shoulder to look at him. Xiao looks lonely on the rock, he feels distant as his eyes wash over you. Almost to ask what’s wrong, he subtly tilts his head. 

You’re not ready to give in, not yet. You keep walking, ignoring the gentle breeze of air transporting around you until you reach a familiar rock. 

The earthly object is not hard to climb, it sits low enough that you can place yourself on it without any work. It provides such a pretty view of the plains, and the gentle green and yellow accents never fail to provide you with comfort and a sense of stability. 

Xiao lets you have your breath of air, he watches as you stare longingly at the scene in front of you. He doesn’t glance at it once, he’s meant to protect Liyue and will do so with his entire being when it comes down to it but-

But, something claws in his chest and urges him to protect you even more.

If you want space, he will give it to you. However, he will always see to it personally that you get home safely. His mortal treasure is more precious to him than duties. 

He can only stand you angry at him for so long. 

Xiao’s footsteps are silent, he moves so quietly that you don’t hear him but you always feel him when he is near. You know that he is now standing beside you, just a little behind so that he doesn’t impose on your view. 

“Are you ready to forgive me?” Xiao, as much as he doesn’t know about mortal emotions, knows how this needs to go. He asks for forgiveness, you grant it to him then you’re not angry with him anymore. He sees the scene play out time and time again between couples at the Wangshuu inn, but he would never admit that he pays attention to them.

“Have you even apologized yet?” You glance back at him, brief judgment in your eyes but any of your fighting spirit had diminished hours ago. 

“Oh,” Xiao quietly gasps, hiding the noise as he gently sits down next to you, he forgot about that part, didn’t he? “I apologize.”

“I’m sorry.” 

You both blurt it out at the same time and a heavy air descends upon the two of you. Xiao shakes his head before tilting it away from you as he lets his eyes glance over rock to rock. 

“You’re not weak.” His soft tone almost makes you melt and the quiet murmur makes your cheeks burst with heat. “I don’t want anything to ever happen to you. If you call for me, I will always be there.” 

You smile, you smile at him and he feels the stiff heart in his chest thump. 

“I know, Xiao.” His eyes widen as you rest your hand over his own, how can you be so kind and understanding? “I shouldn’t have called you those things, I didn’t mean it, I was just angry and took it out on you.” Xiao almost finds it hard to focus, your touch is so soft and your lips are so full underneath the moonlight. Oh, how can’t he kiss you at this moment? “I like my space but, only if you’re there to share it with me.”

[edenjohansson]

Chapter 1

teacher's pet

Y/N's pov :

Here it is. The end of summer. I miss it already. The start of the school year is tomorrow and I already have everything organized for it. My outfit is ready too. I have to make a good impression on my boss if I want to stay in NYU. It's been my dream since I'm child to work in this university and now that I have the opportunity I can't let it go.

"Y/N? Did you want me to drop you to NYU tomorrow?"

Lolly, my best friend, who works at a coffee shop just in front of NYU, always has the habit of driving me to work every morning. It was our moment in the morning when the sun started to rise and we played our favorite music in the car. Usually she had to drop me at my last college away from New York center but this time was different because I would have the opportunity to see her every day and even take lunch with her.

"Yes! With pleasure!" I answered, joyfully.

I heard her laugh from across the apartment that we were sharing for almost 7 years. She was more than my best friend actually, she was like my sister. We were sharing everything, everytime. We lived for so long together that I think she knows me better than my mom.

I heard my phone buzzing at the exact same moment and when I looked at it I smiled at myself even more.

"Hi Mom! How are you?"

"Fine and you? Not stressed for tomorrow?"

"Not at all, you know me mom, I would never be stress for something like that"

That wasn't entirely true because for the first time I knew that if I fucked things up that would end my carrier as a teacher definitely.

"Be careful tho. I love you honey"

"I love you too mom"

I hung up the phone and finished writing my lesson. I had 2 months in advance of class already prepared so I could focus on my students and help them from the beginning. Learning a new language is never easy and students have to work hard if they want to catch up quickly.

"Girl, how are you dressing tomorrow?" Lolly asks as she enters my room.

"Like that" I pointed to my red set of blazer and pants.

"God have mercy on your students souls then because this outfit let you look like a goddess"

I blushed at the comment and already imagined the face of my students when they're going to see me in class. My first one was at 10a.m with a whole class of first year girls and my second one was at 2p.m with a class of third year students.

"I'm sure they'll be fine" I winked at her and closed my laptop.

"Maybe you'll find a cute professor there" Lolly said with her characteristic eyes.

"Oh no no no don't start this conversation now I have to sleep" I said as I pushed her out of my room, giggling.

"Yeah yeah sleep well Y/N"

"Sleep well too Lolly"

I watched her reach her room and closed my door. I walked to my bathroom to get my pyjamas on and brushed my teeth before heading to my bed. I settled my alarm at 8a.m to have time to get prepared. I fell asleep quite fast for once and without a dream.

**

6a.m. I'm already awake. I knew I would be awake early but not that much. I stood up and decided to go for a walk to start the day without a fuzzy mind. I grabbed a simple set of matching shorts and a sports bra and grabbed my long hair in a ponytail. I left a note to Lolly in case she wakes up early too and leaves my apartment with my headphones on.

I came back 1 hour and a half after and directly ran under the shower. The hot water hit my skin and I sighed as my hair got wetter. I washed out the sweating and walked in front of my huge mirror to get dressed.

I put on my underwear, my pants and start my makeup before putting on my blazer. I applied some mascara and some red lipstick and decided to let my hair free on the back of my head. I grabbed my tote bag which was already full with my laptop, my glasses and my wallet and walked out of my room.

"Bitch you're gorgeous" Lolly told me as soon as she saw me.

I didn't respond to her but hugged her tight and smiled at her.

"We should go. I don't wanna be late for my first day"

She nodded and grabbed her keys. We reached her car and drove for almost 15 minutes. It was a really nice district with a lot of architectural buildings and so much open space. I let Lolly go to work as I started walking inside the huge university. I ended up at the administration quarter for my badge and to see the director.

"Miss Y/L/N. What a pleasure to have you as our new French teacher. I heard a lot about you during the summer break. I know you will be an amazing teacher"

Mr Hamilton was the most remarkable school director of all New York and I was so happy that he decided to choose me as one of his teacher's team.

"I'm so grateful to be there with you and to work here. Thank you so much"

We started talking about the organization inside the university and he presented to me some of his assistants and some other teachers. He showed me my class and I decided I should go before the ring starts.

I walked among some students and arrived at my new class. I heard some voices already inside as I approached and I finally entered the room.

"Hi everyone" I said to the few students who were there.

There were only 5 girls. All of them were watching me like I was a ghost but I didn't care and just arrived at my desk and settled down my stuff. I sat and started to prepare my first lesson. The girls were already chatting again and I took the opportunity to look at them. They were looking so young. I waited 5 minutes and saw 4 other girls walking inside the class. They all smiled at me and said hello to me in French.

"Already speaking French? How impressive girls" I said to them, smiling.

"Yes we practiced a little before so we could say "Bonjour" to you" One of the girls explained to me.

"That's nice to hear. I see that you are only nine in this class so I assume we have everyone. Let's get started then" I finally said to all of them. 

[littlepadika]

Calling Home (1) | Frankie Morales x Reader

Summary: You are a receptionist at the VA. Frankie Morales keeps calling. Yearning ensues...

Rating: M -> E in later chapters

Warnings: fem!reader, age gap (legal), praise kink, voice kink, discussion of addiction/PTSD/trauma, no use of y/n, no beta reader, reader is bad at Spanish, Frankie has a sexy voice 😩

Masterlist here

AN: My first fic. Pedro writers have inspired me to finally start writing again 🥺. Concept inspired by the movie RED. I hope you like it ❤️Set after triple frontier.

Chapter One

~~~~~~~~~~~

The first time he called was an ordinary Thursday.

“Veterans Affairs, how can I help you?”

You had been working at the VA office for about two weeks. Fresh out of college you felt lucky to have a job in the first place. You went to school to be a writer but your big idea for 'The Next Great American Novel' had yet to present itself. At least here you had access to the most inspiring stories and interesting people. Men and women who had seen more and done more than you probably would in your entire life. You loved talking to clients on the phone. It was weird but something about only being able to hear people’s voices excited you. You would sometimes write little stories in your head about the people you'd talk to, filling in the details that were unknown.

Your desk accessories reflected your love of books and writing. You had your growing collection of books sitting on your desk sandwiched between baby pink bookends. Next to them was a matching desk organizer filled with your favorite sparkly pens and sticky notes. You had decorated the plain cubicle walls with posters of quotes from your favorite books. You also brought your favorite candle from home. Even though you couldn’t light it you still liked to lift it to your nose once and a while and smell it between chapters. When you weren’t on the phone or scanning documents you would read. You finished To Kill A Mockingbird in your first week on the job and were now halfway through Murder on the Orient Express.

You were starting a new chapter when Frankie Morales called the first time.

You picked up the phone on the second ring already mustering your chipper 'customer service' voice. “Veterans affairs.” You stated your name. “How may I help you?”

“H-Hi. My name is Frankie- uh-Francisco Morales." A deep voice answered you. "I’m calling because I have gotten my benefits check yet. It’s been a month. I was hoping you could tell me if it got sent?”

“Okay Mr. Morales." You flipped on the computer. "Let me check. Can you spell your last name for me?”

“M-o-r-a-l-e-s”

“Okay... let's see.” You clicked on his account. You were momentarily distracted by his picture likely taken when he graduated basic if you had to guess based off the uniform. He looked sweet. Sharp nose and strong jaw balanced by kind eyes and a shy smile. You could imagine how age would continue to soften his expression making him even more handsome. The image was a strange juxtaposition to the voice you were hearing on the phone which was much deeper and rougher. His profile said he was special forces. A pilot. The rest of the information was blacked out. Something you were used to seeing on many people's accounts but even his years of service were redacted. He must have been involved in some dangerous stuff, you thought to yourself. The dates that were not redacted were mostly in Latin America. You clicked over to processing requests. “Looks like the check got sent one week ago.” You informed him.

"I'll look again but I haven't seen anything-" It sounded like he was apologizing when clearly it was not his fault.

"No no. It's probably a mistake on our end." You interrupted. With how shitty and outdated the payroll interface was you wouldn't be surprised if there was a mix up. "I’ll go ahead and let payroll know to send another."

"Great. Thanks." He replied sounding relieved. The roughness in his voice gave way to a smooth baritone.

“No problem. I'm sorry for any inconvenience it may have caused. We'll get it sent right away." You hoped he was not relying on this benefit check for anything important. While you could promise you'd fix the problem, the administration was notoriously slow. When he didn't respond you asked, "Is there anything else I can help you with today, Mr. Morales?”

“Uh-no" The roughness back in place. "Thank you." He paused before adding your name onto his thank you which made you smile. People usually never remembered your name.

“Alright. Have a nice day and thank you for your service.” You chirped before hanging up. The smile he put on your face lingered for a few minutes as you returned to your book.

The next time he called was exactly twelve days later.

“Veterans affairs” you answered, your routine greeting cut short as your eyes were still on your book.

“Hi- I’m calling because uh I still haven’t gotten my benefits check. This is Frankie Morales.”

“Oh Mr. Morales.” You recognized his voice even before he even said his name. You quickly shut your book, pushing your hair out of your face. Had you been thinking about him? No! Okay maybe you stared at his picture for a few minutes longer after he hung up. Yes, it was probably very unprofessional but you couldn't fight the curiosity. You were trying to rationalize the contrasting sharpness and softness of his features with his voice. How it all worked together. How one person's voice could change textures and colors so easily. You wondered what kind of things this man might have seen on the job. Most of the veterans you would help day to day did not have so many redacted missions and deployments. You were in the middle of Narcos season one so you immediately thought of drugs or something equally dangerous. After much pondering, you had come to the conclusion that Frankie Morales was both insanely attractive and insanely courageous. “Still no check, huh?”

“Nope.” He sighed the sound making the phone's shitty speaker crackle as you held it to your ear.

“Let me just check that it was approved...“ you found his profile again and scrolled to the status page. “Hmm... it says it was sent out last Friday after we spoke. That’s so weird...”

“Yeah. Really weird.” He echoed your frustration on the other end.

Typical payroll, you thought to yourself as you rolled your eyes. “I'll get another one sent to you right away. I'll see to it myself.” You tucked the phone under your chin and typed out a short email to Mary in payroll letting her know you'd be stopping by her office to explain the situation. You realized he hadn't hung up yet.

“Sorry for the back and forth.” You said, trying to fill the silence.

“It’s not your fault." The earlier irritation gone. "You’ve been really helpful.” His voice sounded warm and reassuring. Less gruff than it was last you spoke. Instead it was that rich baritone that you caught of glimpse of last time.

You feel your face warm at his compliment. It was this annoying reflex you had. Praise always made you blush no matter what context but it was worse when it came from a (you assume) gorgeous stranger.

“And just to verify that your address is correct- you’re on Maple Lane in Miami, Florida?”

“That’s right.” He confirmed.

“Okay. Sent!” You clicked send on the email, which caused the window to close and reveal Frankie’s profile page again. “I was curious-" You spoke before you really made the decision to speak. You didn’t want to overstep but once again your curiosity got the better of you. Honestly, you were just searching for a way to keep him on the phone. The day had been so boring.

“Your profile says you were stationed in Costa Rica.”

“For a bit.” He replied after a moment. He didn’t sound too defensive but there was definitely some tightness in his answer that made you feel bad for asking. Like you were scratching a wound.

“Did you like it? The country I mean.”

“Are you planning a trip?” He sounds a little amused.

“Yeah- well- kind of. It's more a trip in my head right now. I’d like to go there one day. It looks so beautiful.” You sighed closing your eyes trying to imagine the heat on your skin.

“It is." He agrees. "Really humid though.”

“Mm that sounds nice.” You would kill for some warm weather after such a long winter in DC.

“It was too muggy for me at times." He grumbled. "If you do go, stick to the costal areas where it’s more breezy or else you’ll just be sweating the whole time.”

“I don’t mind a little sweat” you shrugged, still thinking of the awful east coast winter you were currently suffering through. The sexual connotation of what you said hit you hard as soon as you heard the statement in its entirety. You felt your face flush again, though the man on the other end would never know.

“I’m learning Spanish!" You announced loudly trying to move the conversation past your awkwardness.

“Wow. Muy impressivo.”

“Si” you replied but after a moment you admit “I don’t really know what you said.”

Frankie laughed loudly on the other end and you couldn’t help but join in, drawing dirty looks from the elderly lady, Donna, working in the cubicle across from you. You ducked your head behind a stack of papers to avoid her glare.

“Fake it till you make it.” He chuckled.

“Maybe you should help me out.” You took on an indigent but still playful tone. “You sound better than duolingo” Your smile widened when he laughed again. His laugh was what you hoped it would be, by all your assumptions from his picture. It was an unencumbered, unburdened, rich sound with only a hit of roughness from the air behind it.

“Tell me you’re not using that dumb app to learn.” he scoffed, saying your name in an almost scolding tone.

“I’m got my thirty day streak today.” You boasted.

“You’ll be a total tourist if you go by duolingo.”

“But the owl is so cute every time I get something right!” You argued your voice taking on a more childish cadence.

“That’s how they trap you, silly girl.” He teased right back. Usually such a condescending nickname would piss you off but something about the affection behind him using it made you feel very differently. You felt warm like you were proud to be silly as long as it made him laugh.

“Then you saved me just in time, Mr. Morales.” You bit your lip. His scoffing and laughter died down on the other end.

“Frankie” He corrects you.

“Frankie…” You repeated it, smiling at how well the nick name suited the voice over the phone. Honest, sincere, and not pretentious at all. Way better than the pompous guys you know with equally stuffy names like “Edward” and “Christopher.”

“So what do you want to know?” Frankie interrupted your thoughts. “Dime”

You started asking him questions in Spanish to the best of your ability. Granted they weren't particularly probing questions. What is your name? What is your favorite color? What is your favorite animal? What's your favorite book? I am reading Gone Girl. He answered them all with patience and amusement, occasionally interrupting you to correct your pronunciation or explain what a word meant. Every time you’d repeat the word back correctly he would say something like “good” or “there you go” or “you got it”. You hated to admit that his kind words and his praise was doing something to you. You didn't even realize you were clenching your legs together unconsciously, almost in anticipation of his next correction or next answer. His low voice so sweet and encouraging against your ear, more tangible when he was speaking Spanish. You just wanted to hear more of it. Would it be this sweet in other situations? Would it get huskier or rougher? If you closed your eyes it was like he was sitting right next to you. It would be all too easy to slip into that daydream and escape the dull office.

Suddenly out of the corner of your drooping eyes you saw a flashing red light on the phone console meaning another caller was waiting.

“Shoot- i’m sorry, Frankie- I have to take this call.” You shot forward in your chair, legs uncrossing.

“Of-Of course. I should let you get back to work.” He sounded a little sad or so you hoped. You felt bad for interrupting him after you both were having so much fun. You wanted to say he could wait on hold but he killed that idea when he said, "I have work too. Technically I'm five minutes past my lunch break."

Your pout turned to a smile. He was spending his precious lunch break with you? Get a grip! you snapped at yourself.

“You’re welcome to call again if you want.” You threw out the offer in a small voice, scared you would be rejected. You peered over the cubicle wall to see if you were still being glared at. Thankfully Donna was away from her desk. Probably out for a smoke. “It’s really boring here and usually no one calls.”

“Maybe I will.” He replied and you could hear the smile behind those words. You felt your heart clench weirdly in your chest like it didn't know how to process the sudden spike in emotions.

“Bye, Frankie.” You beamed.

“Bye”

This time the smile on your face lasted for hours. Frankie’s laugh echoed around in your head, taunting you, sending your mind to the gutter. His voice went from grit to molasses on a dime. You wanted to be the one to bring out those sounds. You wanted to hear his voice bend and stretch and strain as you fucked him. What the hell is wrong with me? you screamed internally. You had never been so depraved and with a stranger no less! You clearly needed to get laid fast because this much yearning would not end well.

Frankie got the second VA check a few days later and this time he didn’t even feel bad about ripping it in half. He was already reaching for the phone to call you.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Tags: Message to be added 💕 no minors please!

[5acchan]

red-handed, pink-cheeked

inumaki x f!reader

warnings: sub!inumaki, d/s themes, femdom, cock&ball torture, mild verbal humiliation/degradation, teasing, mutual masturbation, panty kink, unprotected sex, penetrative sex, creampie, established relationship

summary: you'd heard the rumors even before you started dating toge. first from maki, then from megumi. how odd and out of character, you'd thought. and naughty. (i.e. panty stealer inumaki)

me @ me: r u rlly gonna write 3k abt inumaki in panties

me: /inhales i present to you all on this good day...

you'd heard the rumors even before you started dating toge. first from maki, then from megumi. how odd and out of character, you'd thought. and naughty.

after all, toge had always treated you differently than others. even as friends, he'd been sweet and eager to please, and that hadn't changed when you began dating him. toge was obedient, a little bit submissive and masochistic, bending to your will with stars in his eyes the entire time. not that you minded. even if what your friends told you was true, your boyfriend wouldn't dare, would he?

you return from a coffee run one afternoon and get your answer—he would. your first thought is to be amused, but you can't help the anger that sparks from your belly and surges through your veins to send your heart racing as you watch toge root through your carefully organized underwear drawer from where you stand in the doorway. i just folded and sorted them all by color this past weekend, you groan internally.

toge straightens up and you tense, expecting him to turn and see you watching him. you don’t expect to see him inspect a pair and test the stretch of the waistband before carefully holding them up to his hips, as if he's checking whether or not they might fit properly on his slim frame.

that pair might fit, you think, and then take in a slow, deep breath as your irritation melts into arousal at the unbidden mental images of your fingers snapping the waistband against his sensitive skin, rubbing the thick length of him over the silky fabric while he squirms and bucks into your touch in a wordless plea for you to sit on his cock.

toge, in your panties? if he wants to wear them so badly, you'll allow him the opportunity to do so. never let it be said that you wouldn't do anything for your lovely boyfriend. and with that, you inhale and exhale with a sharp, "what the fuck do you think you're doing?"

he jumps, clutching your panties to his chest before turning to face you, eyes wide. you deliberately drop your gaze to what’s in his hands, which nervously crinkle the fabric in a way that makes you frown. “bonito flakes,” he offers.

“‘wasn’t doing anything,’ my ass,” you say, not taking your eyes off him as you shut the door he’d so carelessly left ajar. he gulps. the sound is audible even from behind his collar. his eyes are wide, a bit fearful of what's to transpire. you don't blame him. as a dom, you can be unpredictable at times, though you always make sure to give him what he wants in the end. but with such a sweetly responsive sub, you can never resist playing with your prey a bit.

toge warily eyes you as you casually make your way to your desk and take a sip of your coffee before you neatly set it down on a coaster. “do you like them?” you ask.

he nods, waiting until you walk over to carefully whisper, “looks nice,” before clamping his lips shut.

you hum in agreement. that pair does look good on you, both nobara and maki had said so when you’d tried them on at the department store. it’s simple black in a cheeky cut, made of a stretchy, silky material with a set of thin black straps that criss-cross over your hips, joined in the front with a little gold o-ring. nobara had made a comment about you looking like a dominatrix in them, and you had immediately changed back into your own clothes and strode over to the checkout counter to purchase them.

(“it’s like that, then?” maki asks, a wicked smirk on her lips as she saunters over to pay for her own goods.

“would it be any other way?” you reply.)

“they’d look good on you too. put them on, then.”

he flushes pink all the way up to the tips of his ears, and you’re sure if his jacket wasn't zipped all the way up, you'd see a pink flush across his nose and cheeks too. you suppress a smile at how he fidgets in a way that lets you know it's exactly what he wants, but he's feeling a little shy.

"go on."

he stares at you a moment longer, a pleading look in his eyes, before dropping his gaze to his belt and zipper. there's the soft clinking of metal and a smooth zip, and then his pants pool at his ankles. he still has your panties bunched in one hand, and you raise an eyebrow, indicating that he should undress further. toge half turns away but you make a sound of disapproval. "what're you turning away for? afraid i'm going to see your slutty cock all wet and hard for me already?"

chastised, he turns back around to face you fully and wiggles the waistband of his black boxer-briefs down until they fall to join his pants on the floor. sure enough, he's hard, flushed pink and thick enough to make your mouth water, not yet leaking freely but precum oozes out of his slit when you step closer and give him a squeeze. he lets out a stuttered breath and presses his forehead to yours when you begin to stroke him, the ring of your fingers catching under the sensitive head of his cock on the upstroke. toge's mouth drops open when you lick your palm and curl your slick fingers tighter around him, patting his thigh to encourage him to fuck upwards into your closed fist. a shaky breath leaves his lips at the way the leaking tip parts your fingers, peeking out like he's fucking into a hole.

with your other hand, you unzip his collar and undo his jacket buttons so it hangs open to reveal the light pink flush at the base of his throat that descends into the neck of his form-fitting black undershirt. your hum of approval mixes with his bitten-off moan when you grope at his pectorals and tug at his perked up nipples.

fuck, he mouths, tugging at your shirt so you'll look at his face, his lips. they’re slightly parted, the marking on his tongue peeking out from between his teeth. the faces he makes when you touch him are always so erotic, the lewd expressions at odds with his wide, innocent eyes with their thick lashes and the slight roundness to his cheeks with the bit of baby fat he's yet to lose.

"does it feel nice?" you ask, hoarse with desire, and he nods, eyes falling shut at the tight, wet slide of your hand around him. just as his eyes close, you stop stroking him and smack the underside of his cock with a flattened palm.

toge’s eyes pop open and he gives a choked shout. he jerks and squeezes his thighs together, effectively trapping your hand between them, his hands clutching the front of your shirt as he leans his weight on you. really, why does he even try to resist? you sigh and pinch his nipples with your free hand, pulling and twisting to the point of pain. toge's thighs quake around your hand and he lets out a strained, "ah, bonito flakes..." his chest arches into you despite the rough treatment, seeking more of your attention.

you kiss his open mouth, which he belatedly responds to, distracted by your fingers switching from pinching to lightly stroking across his sensitive nipples, and he moans in earnest when you suck on his bottom lip, releasing it only when you're sure it's hot and swollen. "so sloppy, baby," you murmur against his mouth, letting the vibrations from your words buzz against his lips. "you left the door open and looked through my stuff, then didn't even have the decency to clean up the mess you made. did you think you could just get away with all that?"

“mmh...” is his intelligent response, too engrossed in the physical stimulation to come up with anything else. you nudge his thighs open from where they’re clamped around your hand and cup his balls, stroking them gently and then increasing the pressure of your grip until you're squeezing them hard between your fingers. he squirms, discomfort clear on his face and dazed pleasure in his eyes, but he doesn’t pull your hand away or tell you to stop. a jolt of pride at how good he is brings a smile to your face, and you release him.

“good boy. put the panties on now, please.”

he sheds his jacket and steps out of his pile of clothes on the ground, and you admire how the muscles in his legs bunch as he raises them one by one to slide them through the leg holes of your panties (woefully wrinkled after being crushed in his hand). the satiny fabric fits snug around his hips and stretches thin over his erection, the straps creating a sinful pattern against his pale skin and accentuating his lower abdominal muscles. when he turns to climb onto the bed, your eyes are drawn to the tantalizing way the panties strain over the round globes of his ass, with the undersides of his cheeks peeking out, and you can't help but bite your lip and reach out to swat at his ass.

the thin fabric doesn't provide much cushioning, and he throws you an affronted look over his shoulder as he settles against the pillows. you shuck your clothes and deposit them on top of his before joining him on the bed.

toge gives you a sly smile when you settle an arm's length away between his spread legs. he loves to watch you as much as he loves being watched by you. sure enough, you tell him, "touch yourself for me," and he eagerly wraps a hand around his clothed cock. his expression goes soft as you sit back on your calves, legs spread wide, and tease yourself by running your fingers up and down your wet slit, dipping inside and trailing back up to graze over your clit before repeating the motions again.

from your seat, you can clearly see the way his length juts out from his hips, obscenely tenting the fabric of the panties and straining over the wet head with each pass of his hand. it's barely enough friction for him to get off, the tease of pleasure more frustrating than anything, but what the smooth slide of material over his skin lacks it makes up for in eroticism. the rustle of fabric as he touches himself and the way his precum bubbles up clear before being blotted away by the panties makes you groan and sink two fingers into your heat, which in turn makes him moan and fist his cock harder, his gaze dipping between your face and your fingers working between your spread thighs. the look on toge's face is helplessly turned on as he imagines his cock making those slick in-and-out noises instead of your fingers, wrapped in your soft, hot insides and pulling sweet whines from your throat with each press of his hips into yours.

"ah, toge," you sigh. your clit aches as you purposefully neglect it, instead fucking yourself with your fingers at the same pace toge desperately fucks up into his hand. it feels good but it's not enough, and imagining the heavy weight of his cock buried in you instead of your fingers has you panting and curling your fingers to insistently press into the spot that makes your thighs shake and squeeze together, heat curling in your belly.

toge mindlessly slips two fingers past the waistband to stroke the underside of his length and his hips rise off the bed, chasing the feeling of bare skin on skin. he hears you gasp and belatedly asks your permission to properly touch himself with a hoarse, "mustard leaf?"

"go ahead, baby."

he complies by shoving his hand under the fabric, thighs trembling at the rough slide of his palm against his heated skin and synthetic material damp with precum against his knuckles. his head tilts back in rapture before he snaps it upright again, jerking his cock faster, harder as he watches how you reach up to pinch your nipples, your hips tilting and bearing down on your fingers in a mesmerizing cycle. you don't stop him, the look in your eyes egging him on. he thinks you intend for him to get himself off like this and he pants loudly, eyes rolling back at the thought of creaming in your panties.

but then you sink forward onto all fours and knock his wrist away, pinning it to the bed with wet fingers, and he makes a questioning noise that quickly devolves into a shaky noise of pleasure when you dip down and stroke the sensitive underside of his cock with your tongue. the slightly salty taste of precum blooms on your tongue as you lap at the tip and then flatten your tongue to rub at the spot under the head. toge's hips buck up when you squeeze his inner thigh hard enough to leave a bright pink mark and his free hand latches onto your shoulder, creeping up to cup the back of your neck and reverently stroke your hair. your hand, the one not holding his down, slides under his shirt and up his chest to play with his nipples again. with a pleased hum, you suck the fat head of his cock into your mouth, letting your saliva pool and soak the fabric barring his skin from the wet heat of your mouth.

shuddering in pleasure, he pulls the shirt off, reluctantly removing his hands from you to tug his arms out of the sleeves and toss it over the edge of the mattress before lovingly returning his hands to you, one in your hair and the other cupping your cheek and feeling your jaw move with each rasp of your tongue over him. the front of the panties are a mess, soaked through with his precum and your saliva, and toge is flushed down his neck to the top of his chest with a combination of arousal and humiliation.

satisfied with the way his cock throbs insistently for more, you lift your head and press a brief kiss to his palm before gazing up at him.

"should i fuck you now?”

toge gives a frantic couple of nods, and you tug his cock out and scoot up onto his hips so you can sit on it. a low moan leaves his mouth as the tip sinks in, and you look up from where you're joined with him to watch his expression change from dazed to euphoric as you seat yourself fully with a shiver.

even after prepping yourself with two fingers, his length and girth leave you feeling almost uncomfortably full, and you lean forward and bury your face in his neck to give yourself some time to savor the feeling of him deep inside you. toge groans again at your breaths hitting his damp skin and makes a noise that sounds vaguely embarrassed when your mouth finds his neck. the way his collar shields his face and neck leaves him especially sensitive to any kind of stimulation once it's off, and you feel his body go limp when you leave a trail of wet, sucking kisses from his jaw down to his collarbone. his chest heaves under your palms, filling with air in between his moans. it's not until he feels your tongue and teeth that he squirms under you like he's protesting at the hickies you're giving him.

"shut up," you snap, though it comes out breathy and low with the way his cock pulses inside you. each little jerk of his cock creates a momentary stretch that draws a whine from your throat, which you muffle by busying yourself in nipping at his neck. hands tight on your hips, toge moans helplessly as you suck and bite at his damp skin, soothing the sting of each mark with a wet kiss and a sweep of your tongue. "don't want everyone knowing you're my little slut?"

"bonito flakes," he rasps, squeezing your hips. you give him a patronizing little hum but acquiesce, switching to pressing rough kisses down his throat while you grind your clit against his pelvis, inadvertently pulsing your insides around him. he knows he'll likely pay for it later, but with the way you're teasing him and squeezing his cock with your pussy, he can't help planting his feet on the bed and thrusting up into you. you gasp in surprise against his throat and grind down to meet his hips, pushing yourself up on your hands to see his mouth hanging open and his cute fringe mussed and clinging to his face, sticky with sweat.

"toge, harder..."

always eager to please, toge slides his hands underneath you to squeeze your butt and lift you partially off him so he can thrust into you properly. the headboard bangs against the wall as his pace quickens, unable to stop himself from instinctively seeking more of your warmth. your eyes roll back at the onslaught of sensations—toge moaning as he shoves his cock deep into you, delirious with how hot and tight you are, the lewd slapping of his hips against your ass, the fat head of his cock carving a hot path into you and rubbing your walls—and your insides give a hard pulse, your orgasm coiling low in your belly. toge lets out a strangled gasp, hips stuttering, and you wind a hand into his hair and tug.

"don't come yet," you rasp, "finish me first."

toge cries out in protest and you lean over to silence him by smothering him with your breasts. he muffles a pathetic whimper by frantically sucking a nipple into his mouth. tears clump his long lashes together but he continues fucking you, barely holding on as you gasp and press his face into your chest. his tongue flicks over your nipple, teeth nipping at your skin, drawing you closer to the edge until suddenly you're coming, the world narrowed down to the mindnumbing heat between your legs and the stretch of toge's length as it pumps in and out of you.

as you bury your face into his hair and shake from the force of your orgasm, toge detaches from your chest with a wet noise and a whine. his fingers dig painfully into your hips. you're so tight he can barely breathe, and it only takes another two, three thrusts before he's arching, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you close and bury himself in your heat before he collapses, boneless against the sheets. you take a moment to admire your lover. his skin is flushed and his heart is still racing in his chest where it's pressed to yours.

toge's mouth meets yours in a languid kiss and he sighs in contentment, relaxing further under you with the lazy slip of your mouths and tongues together. as you stroke his hair, the movement of his lips slows, and you know it's time to clean up before he falls completely asleep.

you gingerly lift yourself up with a gasp and a shiver, toge echoing your gasp with a moan as his cock slips out of your warmth, and you reach into one of the nightstand drawers for a hand towel. he groans when you tap his hip, indicating that he should lift up to let you pull the soiled panties down his legs.

"let me clean you up, good boy."

you start with his face first, gently dabbing the sweat from his forehead and cheeks, before swiping the cloth over his neck and chest down to his belly and softening cock. he shivers and grumbles at the sensitivity but stays still otherwise. as you head into the bathroom to wash up, you hear him yawn and shift around on the mattress, likely making a bigger mess of your pillows and blankets as he gets comfortable. you toss the panties and used towel into a hamper before using the toilet and stepping into the shower for a quick wash.

when you exit the bathroom, you find toge comfortably sprawled across your bed with the blankets pulled up to his waist, positively looking like an angel as he sleepily blinks at you and pats the empty space next to him. he sighs contentedly and snuffles into your hair as you lie down with him. toge yawns softly and snuggles closer, likely aiming to nap until dinner. despite the tiredness in your limbs after a satisfying round of sex with your lover, the exhilaration of stumbling upon him in your panties and toying with him so thoroughly still humming beneath your skin keeps your mind awake, wandering through a multitude of tempting scenarios involving toge and other pieces in your closet.

"maybe i should stuff them in your mouth next time. you'd look so pretty gagged," you sigh, then hum in satisfaction at the mental image of him with a wad of lace shoved into his mouth, followed by how he'd look with a black ball gag nestled between his lips, chin wet with spit, his beautiful eyes looking up at you with desperation.

toge shoots up and jostles you from where you're lying half on top of him. "bonito flakes!" he says indignantly, trying to communicate how much he doesn't want something in his mouth preventing him from suckling on your tits or your fingers. you laugh and run a hand over his slightly damp back until he settles down with a disgruntled huff, pulling you closer until your breasts are pressed against his chest.

"one more thing, love," you say. he squirms at the way your words vibrate against the sensitive skin of his throat.

"mustard leaf?"

"if i catch you making a mess of my things again, i won't be as nice."

toge lets out a considering hum and turns his face into the pillow to hide his smirk.

[animefreak1145]

For Whom the Bell Tolls(Adler x Bell!Reader)

Previous Next

Chapter 3| How Little We Know of What There is To Know

Chapter Summary:

Pretending and being numb is the key.

Yet Adler always manages to bring some emotion out of you.

Cold War Reset AU| Undertale Reset AU

Warnings: Torture, Brainwashing, Manipulation, Possible Non-Con/Dub-Con, Trauma

A/N: Where pineapple is the nectar of the gods and scars are lightning.

“Bell”

Second Life

23:09 | February 25, 1981

CIA SAFEHOUSE E9, “DIE LANDEBAHN”

You rubbed your dry eyes as you stared at your notes all over the desk you’ve chosen as your little corner, the large bulky computer taking up space but you’ve made do by moving the brick that is the keyboard as much as you could off to the side. Your papers held inks of different colors—although they were only red, blue, and black and yellow highlights—and you had a stack of folders behind the computer that were from the CIA and MI6 archives. You had Kraus’ ledger off to your side, headphones on top of it for you to hear the audio of U.S. cities and numbers. Your fourth mug of coffee of the day was already gone and you would grab another just to enjoy the warm liquid to go down your throat instead of the caffeine itself, you were always one of late night’s either way.

The safehouse was quiet outside the hum of the generator and the lights above. Most of the crew gone. Outside of your absent tapping of a pen against your messy notes and the white of a nearby fan for extra circulation, the main open area of the safehouse was a desert.

If you focused deeply, you can hear mumbles and murmurs that you can’t make out coming from the office. Adler has been in there for awhile talking over the phone. To who, you don’t know but you have your suspicions. You just hope the subject is not about you being suspicious—the talk on the roof was a slight on your part earlier.

You truly don’t know what came over you. But you need to watch your mouth and expressions. Adler is perceptive, deadly and ever watchful of a person’s micro expressions and body language.

You can’t mess up.

A shot rings. And a heart splinters.

“It was never personal.”

You really can’t.

Which is why, you have been focused solely on decoding the entire day. Your eyes scanning and assessing the acquired Intel from the Volkov mission for Operation Chaos and Operation Red Circus. You have the knowledge on how to solve them but you are lacking needed Intel to help finish Operation Red Circus.

Operation Chaos was tricky. With two pieces of evidence outside of the newspaper, it being the audio log and the paper that had the coded message. Earlier in the morning, you wrote down all the possible numbers the missing parts of the code be—trying to find the pattern in the set of red and blue numbers. You were writing down the possibilities, your paper looking chaotic with arrows and numbers and cities that could coincide with said numbers.

After the quick checkup of your head with Adler, all firm and gentle touches with you keeping your eyes to the side or down as he fulfilled why he got the alias Doc—treatments of gun wounds and cuts to bayonets, complete trust he’ll take care of you as he would lecture or tighten a bandage a tad too tight in reprimand due to a reckless action—and kept quiet as he did so outside of a soft yes or no when he asked  about the pain, you moved to go to work. Ignoring the feel of his gaze on you as you did so. Park coming to your desk after you moved your stuff from the center table to your chosen corner to begin, papers already everywhere and scattered as you tried to organize it in a manner you could only understand, a mug close to her mouth and a cocked brow at the mess.

“There’s a way to keep it a bit more clean and less like a junk pile,” the British woman said, amused as you made a distracted sound, squinting at the coded language in your hand as papers rustled. “And when I gave you my advice, I didn’t think you would take it so seriously. There’s a better desk you could’ve chosen as your own, Bell.”

You blinked, giving Park a confused look.

“Advice?”

Park making an obvious glance to the center table in front of the evidence board, you automatically following it. Only to turn back to your paper once you noticed Adler’s form by the table, cigarette in his hand as he stared down at his own files.

"From one woman to another, give him a wide berth."

“. . . I just needed some space to focus. I’m sure Adler wouldn’t like all my papers everywhere around him either way.” You could still feel the ghost of his touch on your head and your hand. You wanted to erase it. “But I don’t mind staying close just in case. Easier to hand things to you or him whenever I’m done.”

“Someone sounds confident,” Park commented with a sip of her coffee, making your own lips twitch for a moment as you replied that you are the best as you moved some papers around. Than, in a quiet murmur with a quick dart back to Adler’s direction, “Distractions are best to be avoided. . .”

“What was that?” You asked, placing everything in a pile as well trying to keep some of them up by leaning the papers on the computer screen and failing as they slid down. You heard Park release an exasperated humored huff through her nose just as you heard her step away only for you to have a black leather gloved hand in your face with sticky notes. “What is. . .”

“Oh come now. I am sure it’d be easier if you used these. Make sense of this chaos. I guess there is some fact of what people say about geniuses and their rooms,” she motioned the sticky note pad again as you stared at it. The papers were yellow but new. Unused, outside of a crinkle at an edge.

“Where am I?”

“Who am I?”

“What is happening?”

“Why can’t you remember?”

“D o  y o u  h e a r  i t ? ”

“Who is Perseus?”

“Tell me who I am!”

Blood forms the words, as if with a finger.

“They want to kill you.”

“Make it stop.”

“MK”

Words pressed on the page, over and over and over with harsh penmanship and you don’t understand what’s happening. What is this room? And that man. . .  Why does it hurt? Is this helping Russell?

Pain

           Pain          Pain              боль

                    боль

   Pain                                         Pain

              боль

Pain        Pain                   Pain

          Pain         Pain    Pain                

боль                                                              боль

It hurts.

GlockeGlockeGlockeG̷̟̩͙̏͌ḽ̸̊̿o̵̦̓͝c̵̭̯̊́ḱ̷̛̼͌͊e—

You turned away back to your papers, jaw tight.

“I’m good. Sticky notes can be a pain. Thank you, Park.” Park lowered her hand, giving you a questioning stare in the back of your head. You sighed, turning your head over your lowered shoulders. “I’m going to try to finish this today but I think I’m missing a few pieces of Intel. You can give me other things to decode for MI6 in the meanwhile.”

Park frowned delicately, lowering her mug.

“That sounds like a hefty workload. And I believe it would be best if we put all our focus into Perseus for now.”

No. You have to be useful.

“It’ll be fine,” you say, searching for a paper and giving it to her while Park grabbed it. “I solved that part of the code already. The other intel we got from Kraus, I’m going to need more information in order to figure out who exactly can be Strong Man, Bearded Lady, and the Juggler. I can’t go forward with that so might as well help with other codes you guys may have trouble with. What did you imply?” You ask with faux curiosity, your lips twitching up before falling as you wrote something down. “That I’m a genius?”

“Smartarse.” Park retorted, although she seemed to still hesitate but eventually she gave you three files where they seemed to be having trouble. You getting to work immediately to help as Park walked away and you hearing later on Park and Adler head to the office.

You did your best to not think too much of it. You have to keep at your work and make sure you’re capable and on task. You rather not get jabbed.

“We got a job to do.”

And although it might be inevitable, you would rather not have those words said to you as well. Even if it didn’t seem to have the same affect as before, the feeling and how your thoughts seemed to blur came back. Being aware you moved like a puppet and were one all along is not what you would like to focus on.

After you finished two of MI6’s files—had to do with KGB and how interesting they would use some quotes of Oscar Wilde’s 1984 hidden in the code as if the man was in support of communism with the work—with a hum mixed with impressed and curiosity from Park as she looked at the solved papers, your nose twitched at the scent of smoke and leather as you worked on the last MI6 folder.

“Stealing away my protege, Park?” Your hand around the pen paused before continuing, a plume of grey gathering above you. “And here I thought we have an equal partnership when it comes to this whole Perseus business. At least tell me you’re not wasting her time?”

“I wouldn’t call it stealing if she’s willing,” Park easily replied before handing him the two files to look over that you did, Adler scanning through it as she continued. “And it still has to do with our red friends. You sure are quick with the ball, Bell.”

“It’s nothing,” you say quietly, “Can’t exactly go forward so might as well help you with other codes that others can’t solve. Just send anymore my way. You too, sir.”

Adler made a distant hum, closing the files and handing it back to Park. You felt his stare at the back of your neck as you stared at the paper in front of you that might as well be nonsense since you sensed him.

Look at him, pup.

“If you wanted a more exciting challenge Bell, you could’ve asked. Always the type to leave no stone unturned and show off.”

“‘More exciting challenge’?” Park repeated, “Think MI6 codes are all flowers and rainbows compared to those in the CIA, Adler? I believe I recall that it was only Bell that could be able to solve the dossier instead of anyone else within your organization.”

Yeah, cause you brainwashed me, you thought bitterly but the two kept going as you could only sit in between. Nice to have to be a witness between these two again.

“Bell is the best CIA decoder we have,” you tightened your jaw in surprise instead of to tense when his hand landed on your shoulder, a gentle squeeze—in comfort, in belief, in trust, in camaraderie, in everything but what you wanted and what you needed, in order to control— as you lowered the paper in your hand. “As well as having a wide range of other skills. You think I would just call in any brain dead desk sitter for this operation?”

You could see in your mind’s eye how dizzy you would get before due to all this praise. Now, you just do your best to press your lips as your chest tightened.

You felt Park shift behind you, her looking at you in appraisal.

“You are one of a kind, Bell. Shame you were born in the wrong country. Having to have Adler here as your superior.”

You huffed through your nose in dry amusement at that. Irony not lost on you.

What a curse indeed.

You turned in your chair finally, lips quirked that didn’t quite meet your eyes as you pointed your thumb towards Adler.

“You should’ve seen him in ‘Nam if you think he’s bad now. Always with the lectures.”

You felt Adler release you, watching as he took an inhale as he did a small shrug in disinterest.

“You can be stubborn, Bell. If I couldn’t beat it out of you, I’ll talk it out of you.” You looked up and you could sense his eyes looking down at you behind those shades. “Although I feel like sometimes I’m wasting my breath. Your recklessness borders on insanity.”

“I think I can see why they put the both of you together than,” Park said, brow arched towards Adler and a certain look in her eyes towards him you couldn’t quite read. It looked like a warning. But what could that look be for? “Insanity breeds insanity as they say.”

They left you after that, you waving off Adler asking if you need a break. He took that as the okay to bring you CIA files for you to decode. Seems he has no trouble using you dry if you’re going to insist on it. Despite that, you took them and you were able to solve three.

Park came back towards your desk and saying you could have a break, again, you waved her off. As well as her concern you wouldn’t want to read into—is it real for you and your body, or is some sort of guilt that perhaps they gave you a strong dose for the memory exercise and you’re running on steam, is it fake or real, don’t break the puppet- so you didn’t. You telling Lazar the food you wish and him dropping it by your desk with his own comment that your brain might fall out and you saying you’ll be fine, even threw in a small joke that with his food your brain will be well nourished. Outside of your favorite brand of pumpkin seeds of course. Sims only made a stray comment about the stacks on your desk, getting tall as the day went on and turned to night. You don’t recall if you said something back. You probably did, Sims was always distant—you have trauma that’s not even real and have the gall to have some nightmares about it when he actually went through that horrible war and sees a therapist for it, you don’t know the war—so you would take what you would get.

Everyone eventually shuffled out, Park—her brows looking creased and a purse to her lips—back to the side of your desk before she left and saying you should rest and leave the rest tomorrow.

“I’ll finish the rest today,” you replied, resolute and determined as you wrote the next possible code from this possible radio station an ally of Perseus may be using. “No rest for the wicked. As they say,” you threw out additionally, an echo of her words earlier which made Park raise her brows. “It’s fine. Once I start something, I have to see it through. It helps I can be patient when it counts—at least with this.”

“You seem to take it literally. You’ve been at it since early this morning. You only moved I believe when Lazar brought your food and to use the washroom.” Once you shrugged and said that seems normal to do and you’re fine with that, you heard Park’s tone grow stronger in reprimand. “Yes, you’re fine. Tell me, is Adler stopping you from taking breaks?”

You stopped, looking at Park and her irritated expression.

“No. . . No, it’s just me.” So none of you stick me with that dreadful drug and dig around my brain. So I can show all of you I don’t need it—that you don’t need to do that. That I’m useful and more than an asset. Unneeded assets get thrown away. “I just—just don’t want to disappoint.”

"Disappoint? You've exceeded expectations at every turn, Bell. Disappoint who?"

You didn’t answer, only turned back around and continued with your pen. You heard Park mutter a curse before walking out, giving you a pat to your back and tell you you’re driving back with Adler than since he’s determined to work as well before leaving. Your eyes round down to your desk.

You’ll be alone together with him again.

You took a shaky breath, focusing on the paper in front of you.

You’ll be fine. Just keep what you’ve been doing. Pretend everything is okay.

Pretend his concern—the touch on your shoulders burned as he shook you, as if to erase your dark thoughts out of you, lifting you up with his hand easily with words of a concerned reliable friend commanding officer—is real. And his kindness—why did they save you, you’re useless, what use is an untrained dog—is real too.

Just don’t question it. You’ll go mad.

Mind your tongue as well—control yourself. You used to tease before with faux confidence when the both of you bantered, but you have to watch your spiteful and petty comments. You really don’t want him to give you a dose.

But if you feel like the path is leading you there, you have a way to get at least a semblance of control back.

Puppets don’t control the puppeteer.

“Bell.” You turned in attention, Adler by the center table as he motioned his head towards the garage door, cigarette in hand. “Time to go.”

You nodded once, getting up after fixing up your desk a bit. Grabbing your beanie turned ski mask and placing it back on your head instead of your face and walked over obediently as the both of you walked out through the side door.

Good dogs come when they listen.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯  ◁ ◁ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

“Come on, you know I hate fruit cake! Just give me your pears, Singer!”

“Sorry, Bell,” Singer grinned, taking a big purposeful spoonful of pears from the can, teeth flashing. “Guess you have to deal with all of that yourself. Too bad you don’t have a connection to those who pass the MCI’s, huh?”

You quietly glared at him with no heat, the act almost making Singer choke on his precious pears that he could’ve given you. The choking action making him spit out some and towards you, you making a noise of disgust as you punched the laughing man harshly to his shoulder as vengeance. It made him wince as the others around the campsite laughed at the two of you—the sun still above and the Vietnam jungle loud with birds and the trees moving against the wind. Although not really a campsite you would say since there no fire. Can’t have any eyes on them to go towards smoke.

‘They know these jungles better than us’ as Adler says.

Speaking of Adler, you turned towards him where he leaned against a thick great Banyan tree local to this country—the trunk thick just like the branches that spiral even to the floor. They were all actually hidden in the alcove of this tree, the space enough for them until they kept going to their destination. A beautiful yet haunting tree with its dark and smooth bark all around. You overheard once by Lee and other South Vietnam soldiers in base that these trees can have spirits inside. Dangerous they said for some of them. You don’t think these ‘spirits’ ever met Adler.

You could see Adler’s lips were up in amusement due to your predicament despite his war paint, raising his brow over his black shades when he noticed your gaze.

Before you even fully lifted your hand with the can of horrendous fruit cake, he shook his head at you, lips going even more into a smile.

“Don’t even try, kid. I fucking hate fruit cake myself,” he adjusted himself against the tree and the gun in his lap. The food of his MCI basically gone outside the crackers and canned pineapple. “Disgusting things. I don’t know who’s bright idea was it to have hard pieces of fruit and dry raisins in cake.”

That’s what you’re saying!

“Please, Adler. I gave you my cigs already, at least give me some of your pineapple?”

Sims laughed beside you, nudging your shoulder with his and shaking his head in disbelief.

“You think Doc is gonna give you some of his golden nectar away? Might as well have asked him to give his cigs along with his lighter.”

“Not happening, Bell.” Adler answered casually, finishing up his crackers and swiping his hands against his pants before moving to the can. “Besides, not like you smoke anyways. The cigs would just sit there pretty in the box if you don’t hand it to me. Unless you want to try to smoke again. It went well last time.”

“Didn’t she choke?” Singer teased around a mocking grin. It made his youthful face boyish and eyes bright. “Almost hacked out a lung didn’t you?”

Larson, who was quiet between Singer and Adler, spoke up. Already finished with his food since he’s been mostly keeping to himself. This is the first official mission he’s had since he got the news. Poor guy.

“I remember that,” Larson said softly, looking towards you and you just took all their teases. You blame Adler. “It was after the drinking game between Butcher and Hamilton. You wanted to see the big deal about why everyone liked the nicotine.”

“Only for Doc to come to the rescue after Bell took one of his cigs,” Sims ended with a shit eating grin. You’ll kill him. “Surprised you’re still here and alive. Not from just avoiding choking on nothing either, but that you took a cig from him.”

“You guys bet that I couldn’t. . .” You muttered with narrowed eyes towards Sims who shushed you.

“What was that?” Adler asked, cocking his head only for Sims and Singer to shake their heads animatedly. Adler hummed doubtfully but dropped it.

“Never mind that! Just—“ You groaned, putting your head on your hands as you still held the can of fruit cake. “You think I can eat this shitty cake? The ‘raisins’,” you said the word doubtfully, “could be actual pieces of shit for all I know. It could explain the taste. And how hard it can be.”

Singer and Sims snorted next to you, on both sides while Larson actually cracked a grin as you raised your head and told them strongly to think about it! Adler shook his head, watching the jungle periodically in the open spaces of the alcove which all of you did to be cautious but the fruit cake debacle must be solved.

You turned your eyes towards Sims, spotting his fruit cocktail. Only for his hand to block it.

“Nope.”

“Come on!” Sims shook his head, opening the can and eating the fruit cocktail and you scowled. “All of you are shitheads. Now I’m gonna have to eat this.”

“Damn straight you do,” Adler reaffirmed, stern yet you could spot he found your curse to all of them, him included, funny based on his arched brows. “No wasting MCI’s. You know the drill, Bell.”

You grunted unhappily at Adler, but you knew he was right. Which is why you wanted to trade in the first place. Food shouldn’t be wasted, no matter how heinous.

You took a spoonful after managing to cut into the hard cake, Sims laughing in your face and you could spot Larson keeping his smile at your disgruntled expression only for it to deepen when you took a bite.

You tried to distract yourself through bites by asking Adler how far away they were from their destination. Adler answering after they reach the next nearest foxhole which is two hours away, it will be another six till they reach where they need to be.

“Hue is a mess right now. With us additional reinforcements, we’re going to aim for stealth and go around and take out as much as we can.” Adler explained as they all attentively listened. They can’t mess up. “We’ve been able to give them a lot of damage last I heard, with one final push of us taking out some of them when they’re scrambling—we’ll consider the Battle of Hue a win. Of course, if there’s more than we can handle, we’ll stick to recon and head back around to tell command at the Hue MACV compound we have there.”

“And the civvies?” Larson asked.

“Don’t shoot ‘em.” Was all Adler said before they all moved to clean up and move on after you and Sims finished up.

You having to force to swallow and chew the cake and packing up the trash. They can’t leave anything else it can be used to track or find them.

Larson, Sims, and Singer were outside the alcove—waiting for you to finish as you smacked your lips as if that could take away the taste in your mouth as you grumbled. You moved to go out where Adler was as he stood by the opening to head out. You spotted something on the ground where he previously sat.

“You left something, sir,” you say, growing near to pick up the can. Huh, it’s not empty.

Adler turned his head over his shoulder, expression questioning.

“Whatcha mean, kid? That’s yours isn’t it?” You frowned, looking down at the can only for your eyes to widen. There was some pieces of pineapple left, a little less than half of the can gone but it’s something. He turned his head back as he muttered. “Don’t expect this to happen again. Not here to spoil you, Bell.”

“Don’t expect you to, sir.”

“Just pick up the trash and move it, kid.”

You grinned, knocking back the can and easily and quickly eating it. The juices spilling down your chin and neck but you didn’t care as you licked your lips. The taste of disgusting shit cake gone.

You packed the can quickly, swiping your chin with the back of your hand as the both of you walked to where the others were.

“Thanks,” you said to him softly.

“For telling you to pick up your trash?” Adler answered easily and you smiled knowingly but let it go.

Such a hard ass.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ▷ ▷ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

The car ride was silent, passing street lights and empty cafe’s whizzing by and enlightening the car for a mere moment before it would be enveloped in darkness once more until the next light comes. You were staring out the window as they passed the streets of Berlin, the sounds of the wiper periodically occurring due to the light rain occurring. Not many people out at this time of night, nearing midnight unless you were a working girl or at the local bar. Some wisps of smoke remained in the car despite Adler on his side having his window slightly open. Your eyes watching as it moved lazily and glancing towards the quiet, relaxed man next to you before you would turn to look back out. Curious to see more of the city besides in the backstreets and being stealthy.

You didn’t see much last night after Volkov, you falling asleep in the car as Park drove you. You were too out of it when they arrived at the hotel, just absentmindedly listening and nodding along to Park’s directions and promptly knocking out once you reached your room on the bed. Only to awake once more at the alarm you or someone else must’ve set early in the morning.

You were focusing on that instead of the last time you were in the car with Adler.

“You’ll like where we’re going. Trust me.”

You took a sneaky glance towards the man once more, just as the man exhaled out a cloud of smoke that you watched. Enraptured in how it moved to and fro lithely, easily as your nose took in the smell before you glanced back at Adler, the side facing you being his ‘good’ side.

You wonder once more of his scar that accentuated this man’s beauty—all harsh lines that created a map that even now you wish to trace. For someone like this to earn the title America’s Monster, all styled wheat hair, suede shades, and an easy, wry tone—it should at least match the title.

Than again, you thought with faltering wax wings and of another—the fall of a devil with none. It was never about his looks was it?

“It’s a small price to pay.”

What does that make you?

“Alright, kid,” he says, taking out of your stupor as you stared fully at the man now. Smoke releasing out his mouth as he spoke, making you lower your gaze to it. “I’ll bite. What do you want to ask me? Must be a juicy question since you keep burning holes to the side of my face.”

Embarrassment colored your face, caught, as you quickly adjusted your gaze to straight ahead and instead watching raindrops going down the windshield.

“It’s nothing.”

“Mmm. For some reason, I can’t believe that. What did I say before?”

You said a lot of things before, you thought with a sad frown. But you knew what he was referring to. Always wants to be the one you tell all your worries and concerns to. Before, you thought it was genuine. Now, you just see it as how it was—a cloak to observe and make sure if your true real memories came or if they needed to give you a dose.

“Your scar,” you began as he tilted his head towards you, hair moving as he did so as he kept his one hand casually to the wheel while the other was leaning against his door. You didn’t get distracted by it. “How’d you get it? There’s a story there.”

“Scar?” He asked in false confusion, still stoic outside of a cocked brow and making your lips twitch up despite yourself. Before motioning with his cigarette hand towards his face. “You mean this? Is it noticeable?” At your unamused huff though your nose, he continued. “Back in ‘73, I was nearly killed by a tiger while on a mission in Malaysia. But human ingenuity still runs the animal kingdom.” He turned his head towards you when they reached a light, his brows rising above his glasses. “You ever been attacked by a tiger, Bell?”

You stared at him in disbelief before releasing a surprised snort. The nerve of this man.

“You’re lying. That’s not from a tiger, it would be worse than that. You and your need to tell stories. . .” You mumbled the last part, you don’t think he heard that.

“Didn’t know you were an expert on tigers, Bell. Got a degree in zoology under your belt that I don’t know about? What makes you think I’m lying?”

“Because—“ That’s not what you said last time. You stopped, a realization going through you. Because of course he’ll lie to you about this too. Worse kind of crowd, your ass. “If you got that from a tiger than I must be a distant cousin of Joseph Stalin.”

“That unbelievable, huh?” He said more than asked, amused at your sarcasm as you looked at him with crossed arms as the car moved once more. “Fine. I’ll give. I jumped on a roof in Calcutta back in ‘75 while chasing a Soviet agent. The jump was successful . . . the landing not so much. Advice: always know where the utility poles are.” At your deadpanned look when he glanced at you, his lips quirked into a humored smirk. “That one didn’t hit the mark for you either? Was it the jump?”

You shook your head, a small groan leaving your lips as you leaned your head against the dashboard.

“Anybody who’s anybody can jump from roof to roof,” you replied, staring at your leather boots—forehead pressed against the dashboard and maintains it there even as they turned or there was a bump. “You know that. Just like you know a utility pole would’ve either choked you or electrocuted you. At least with electrocution it’d be more scars throughout instead of that part of your face.”

“Watch the cockiness, kid.” He reprimanded but than, “You’re right though. Roof jumps the standard when it comes to our work. But you’re really confident that I don’t have any other scars throughout the rest of me. Know something I don’t?” Your eyes darted towards him, wide and as they passed a street light, you noticed he was peering down at you in turn. Your skin burned as you looked away and mumbled no while staring at your very interesting shoes. The man hummed. “How about this. You know what they say about kids falling in with a bad crowd? Let’s just say I fell in with the worst part of a bad crowd. The girl wasn’t worth it, believe me.”

At your silence, he glanced at you.

“What? That’s the one you believe?” You gave a small shrug. When he first told you that, you didn’t ask any more questions. It sounded personal the way he said it. Truthful. Adler always lies. “What makes this one believable? The lack of a specific date or are you a sucker for romance, Bell?”

You threw him a meaningful look up at him. Not feeling the need to say anything. At his arched brow though, you opened your mouth.

“Your ex-wife.”  His brow flattened at that. Something shifting in the air. “Was she worth it?”

A beat. A passing of street lights. The pitter patter of rain against the car.

“A romantic than. . .Never saw you as the type.” At your probing stare and his silence, you turned away. Seeing he won’t answer—too private. You’re a fool to even think he will say the truth at all. “Once.” You blinked, turning your eyes back up and lifting your head in attention as America’s Monster—a secret, a peek through the shades, a hint of something real besides the cold, black abyss, what are you Russell Adler—spoke ever so softly. A sardonic turn of chapped lips. “You can say we had a difference of opinion. Not much to it.”

There was more but you will take what you can get.

You thought of the memories you had, of friends you once believed were your own. Of little moments in beaches and camps and villages when all was calm and not chaotic with smell of burnt bodies or blood or how it feels to stab a bayonet through someone’s chest in defense. You could see them as clearly as any other memory you had. And feel it.

You thought of the poor soldier leaving a war only to get into another one in his home country.

“Larson. . .” you murmured, Adler hearing as he released a dry chuckle.

“Sort of like Larson. The poor bastard.” You watched him take a deep inhale, the cigarette almost a near stub. And you realize when that happens, he’s stressed. As stressed as a man like him could be. You’ve seen him in many moments in Vietnam. Not always the best. You wonder if that was another reason for your death. Adler exhaled a puff before having to throw the cigarette out the window with a flick, putting the window all the way up. “I don’t see why you’re so interested either way. Scars aren’t that impressive. Unless you always had a habit about asking for one’s ugly mug.”

You darted up at his eyes, shaded as they were, trying to sense if he was being serious.

Because he couldn’t be.

Not this man, with strikes of lightning upon his face as if Zeus did it himself. All power. Grace. Strength. Different from your barely functioning wax wings as you struggle to fly. Only able to watch and hope a falling demon crashes to its death—all harsh and slow.

What are you, Russell Adler?

Perhaps he is Zeus himself.

Perhaps how Adler got his scar was harsh retribution to control lightning, his scars even mimic those powerful strikes across his face. All strength. And all beauty. Those who survived struck by lightning always have the most beautiful marks upon their skin indicating their survival—you are selfishly bias though. Even now, you admit with self-loathing. The rougher marks on his face is all grace and you could wonder how he truly got it instead of fantasizing him as a God Of Lightning who mistook his own power upon his face.

It would only make sense. Both beautiful men, although you’ve never met the Greek God.

They both also have a habit of hurting women.

He’s all of that, while you could only hope with your squeaky levers and ropes and feathered wax can go up to said Mount Olympus where he was. A naïveté where you think you’re close with tired and sore arms only to be burnt away. A free fall down to the abyss.

Good pups stay in their place.

“You’re joking.” You accuse seriously as you stared up at him, your head against the dashboard but tilted slightly in his direction.

Adler tilted his head down slightly to stare down at you, a brow arched at your look.

“About?”

You didn’t say anything.

Just meaningfully looked up at him through your lashes, staring at his jaw that was strong as if Michaelengelo carefully carved it himself with minute details with his trusted mallet and chisel until dawn with a candle on his head due to determined ingenuity. Observing how the collar of his shirt did not do a good job in hiding his neck, his favorite jacket failing in that too so you could take it in. Not one strand was mussed or out of place on his head, all volume and thickness as your gloved hand twitched by your knee.

You than met the shades, in turn meeting his eyes as your heart seemed to pound as he stared down at you back. A look passing through his eyes too quick for you to catch, besides what you saw in your peripherals. The hand on the wheel tightening an iota as the air shifted to something heavier, blood pumping as your mind thought of reasons as to why which you pushed away. Impossible.

You licked your dry lips nervously, Adler’s expression seeming to tense when his eyes followed the action. You turned away, looking back down except to play with the ends of your gloves, neck hot and spreading.

You still felt his stare before he focused back onto the road.

They didn’t speak the rest of the ride.

Foolish dog should mind their eyes.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ▷ ▷ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

You couldn’t sleep much when you reached your room, another floor to Adler’s and near Park’s, and not just due to how you were more one with the night.

You opened Pandora’s Box—something forbidden coming out into the world as you thought back to the meaningful stare between you and Adler in the car. That even the thought makes your heart pound once more. Your brain further muddling and melting away the more you spend time alone with that man. Whether in being caught in his pace or just the mere thought of what he’s done.

Although, you suppose you already opened a Pandora’s Box. Possibly even darker than the one you discovered.

If the monster in man’s skin was Zeus—he created the box in the first place. Except he wished to hide it from you and keep you willfully ignorant instead of tease you to release envy and greed and disease out in the world. You managed to open it—and it was none of those things, it was cruel and inhumane to you all the same.

Take this needle and follow the story, do the trick.

If only that box stayed close.

Zeus always did like to confuse.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ◁ ◁ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

You let out a heavy sigh, hand mussing your hair harshly as you chewed your lips, staring at the paper on the center table of the safehouse.

“Having trouble?”

You slightly jumped as Adler, who was quiet in the seat across and to the side of you, spoke. Looking mildly curious at all the papers on your side of the table before taking a small puff. You sighed, looking back down at the paper in slight frustration.

“Just a little. Whoever made this code created a difficult to encrypt language. I have some of the numbers though already, it’s just the rest. I’ve never seen such an elaborate one before. . .” You said in thought as you tapped your pen against the paper. “I have to say, it’s impressive.”

Adler hummed idly, taking note of your words.

“Perhaps you need a sort of incentive.”

You moved your eyes up in confusion, wondering what that could mean. Only to stop once you noticed what was in his opposite hand not holding his precious cigarette.

It was a picture—a polaroid specifically. But not just any one. You stared at your oldest friend in the picture, taken on the rooftops in East Berlin, his face tilted down and a level of focus and calm as he stared down below in his crouched position. The lights behind him giving him an ethereal glow, a mix of white, red, and blue as those shades on his face gave a little glint due to it.

You reached a hand to see it better only for Adler to click his tongue, taking the picture back closer to him with a shake of his head.

“Sorry, kid. Can’t exactly be incentive if I gave it to you easily like that. You seem eager though.” Adler arched a brow at you. “Any reason as to why?”

Your cheeks prickle as you cursed in your mind. Why didn’t you get the film from the red room or Park yourself? You thought of a T.V. turning on it’s own, flashbacks to what happened in Vietnam on the screen, the memory sobering you up. You still. . .haven’t told Adler about that. He’ll call you soft and put you solely in the safehouse with no more field missions. You hate his disappointment. Still though, you recall you were determined to get it. A quick in and out but than. . . something? Something. . . happened?

At your brows furrowing deeply, Adler’s own brows furrowed and you answered his silent question as you touched your head.

“Sorry. . . That coma I woke up from still has done a number on me.”

“You did get shot twice, Bell. You have issues with always trying to push me out the way, even back in ‘Nam.” You smiled at his tease. You did have a protective streak. But only for certain people—even if you knew Adler could handle himself, you would do what you must for him if he told you an order. Or even go against it if it involved him doing something stupid like a sacrificial mission. You’d follow him anywhere. “Don’t think too much on it. I’m sure the rest of your memories will come back soon enough.  Just remember in the end that mission was a success.”

“Whatever it takes, sir.” You said, a phrase that he spoke often back in the war. Which you would repeat. You would always do what you must.

Adler’s expression shadowed as he nodded once.

“Whatever it takes,” he glanced at the polaroid in his hand, it facing him as he seemed to stare in thought before turning his gaze towards you. Your expression curious as you wondered what he was thinking before he turned the picture back towards you, brow up inquisitively. “Well, Bell? Don’t think you’re going to dodge the question as to why you want this? I went through a bit of trouble to let Park let me have it. She’s stubborn when she wants to be.”

You slightly scowled at him, feeling the blush once more.

You hated when he did that blasted rhyme!

You also had a sense there was more to him asking Park but you were too busy trying to defend yourself. Not think about their daily quiet pissing match.

“I like taking pictures. It’s an art form. Every artist would like to have their own paintings,” you said, tone even and you wanted to pat yourself in the back for that.

Adler rose both his brows now.

“Really?” The way he said it made it seem he doubted you. “Not a photographer. Was never really interested in art either so maybe that’s why I can’t relate. Still. It’s a good picture, my good side and all. Can see why you would want it.”

You restrained yourself from saying what you wanted like last time. That basically you would want that picture even if it was on his scarred side.

“It had good lighting.” You added as Adler stared at his picture, cigarette being held in his lips. He turned back towards you, glasses slightly falling from his nose and you could see a hint of his eyes. A tease. You stared. His lips curved around the cigarrette, amused and indulging. You panicked. “I-It does!”

“I didn’t say anything. But say, the sooner you finish that code, the sooner you can have this—“ he paused, waving the hand with the polaroid”—piece of art of yours. Never thought I would say that but I guess there’s a first for everything.” He pocketed the picture back in his jacket, blowing his smoke away from you before he stood up and headed towards Sims only to add over his shoulder, “I’ll leave you to it. I know you got this.”

You stared as he walked over, the belief he had in you with those words moving around in your brain. You moved back to work, pointedly ignoring Lazar’s whistle—him able to hear some of what occurred no doubt. You threw him an impolite gesture that only made the man laugh as you focused on the code. It took you three tiring and near sleepless nights, but you finished. Adler handing you the photo in between his fingers as you took it gently, trying not to crinkle the photo further as Adler watched you behind his shades as you held the photo, taking a thoughtful inhale of his cigarette before looking away. Looking around their surroundings outside the safehouse. Their break time spot.

“You sure got talent, kid.”

“You should know by now to not doubt me, Russ,” you replied, your eyes still on the photo between your gloved hands. “Only the best of the best with you. Just took me longer than I thought.”

“Watch that confidence doesn’t blind you one day, Bell.”

“You first.”

He chuckled at that, breathless and surprised making you stare up with wide eyes. The sound rare. Adler tapped the end of his cigarette, ash going on the ground as he stared towards the doors of the safehouse, an echo of a smile on his face. Barely there. Others wouldn’t see it, but you’ve known Adler for years.

“You got guts. And spunk. Met my match with you it seems, kid. You know me too well. . .” Adler took a puff, deep as he trailed off, shades dark.

“That’s not a bad thing,” you say, lowering the photo in your hand. “Sims does too. Can’t exactly get rid of us that easy.”

“Sims has been through many missions with me, but not as much as you.” Adler explained calmly. “Some of those, I’m taking to my grave. If I breathe a word about it, I’ll have a bunch of people up my ass.”

You sense as if this was like a conversation from years ago, on a beach. Quiet and away from everyone in the camp, just the two of you talking about realities and soldiers. You think about that memory a lot.

You recall some of the memories he’s referring to.

You half shrugged, pocketing the photo in your bomber jacket as you leaned against the wall of the safehouse.

“What can you do? It was necessary. Besides, I can’t exactly tell anyone else either, Adler. Brutality is sometimes necessary. That’s all I know.” You paused, tilting your head and throwing a teasing smirk his way to get him out this weird mood. “Don’t tell me America’s Monster actually cares what other people say?”

Adler deeply exhaled in exasperation, smoke coming out his nose.

“Don’t tease me, Bell. You know I can’t give a shit.”

“Than what’s the problem? You do what needs to be done. Make the tough calls. You know. . . you know I understand right?” You asked carefully. “I’m with you when it comes to doing what we must. To protect what we need to.”

Adler was silent. He never answered.

You didn’t push him. Didn’t feel the need.

You understood him the best.

Only monsters can see one another, after all.

✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ▌▌✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯ ✯

Monsters, you’ve come to know, are also a certain kind of creature that takes what they need.

To want. Selfish and uncaring and you should be concerned at how easily you take in those traits.

Too busy to worry about regular people—the mundane. There are bigger things to be focused on than other’s opinions on what actions are necessary.

You and Adler can give not one fuck about others. They know what they are and will accept the titles from others with a nod.

What you’re coming to find however, that even with monsters, there’s different breeds.

You basically reiterated to him that what he did with you was necessary. Needed. Sound brutality at its finest. You feel like you can’t even argue.

What is better—loyalty to a country or to people?

You’re trapped.

.

.

.

I have a problem. This story is going to be long when it was supposed to be short. Oh well. 

Also, hot take maybe, I love both Soft!Adler and Dark!Adler so let’s just have both sides of him shall we? Wait…is Adler truly soft here? Who knows.

DM me if you wish to be tagged please. ^////^

Tags:

@quizzyisdone @zulema117-blog @efingart  @pinkpinkboota @nuclear-boston @lifeisthemoments @jintana-critical @eclectriccanoeseven @hurricanesyd-blog @parkeepingparker @moonchild365-blog @aurora-windu @imperfectophelia @dvesinthewind @holy-crap-i-am-russlle-adler @i-will-give-you-love @adlerboi @preciouslilcreature @saynotohydra @mayaibnlaahad @smokeywhalee @0shuni0-blog @multi-fandom-imagine @littlepotatowizard  @direwolfspostsrandomshit @darlingor @collinnmckinley @kayalect @nikkibell1937 @fuzzybonkeggsopera @ppfedd @bro0kebxrter @actuallyilya @stayb1ack @frankwoodsmalewife @tr1ppylady @danjer

[safertokiss]

Lost in Translation

A/N: Heyyyyy guys...remember when I used to post like every two weeks? Yeesh that’s awkward...but I’m backkkkk woooooooo party time! I was so excited that my discord buddies organized another fic swap because it was so much fun the first time. This time around I was chosen to write a doozy for the wonderful @writing-in-april and I have decided to bless you all with a beautiful subby boy. Sub Spencer lives in my head rent free, no cap. So sit back, relax and pretend it's you getting fricken railed. Peace out girl scouts;)

Pairing: SPENCER x READER

Category: SMUT hehe oh yeah and fluff

Word Count: 4.8k

ENJOY:)

~~~

MASTERLIST

~~~

For as long as she could remember, Y/n had always wanted to learn Russian.

So, naturally, when she found out that their newest case involved two lovers who also happened to be Russian criminals trying to escape the United States government, she simply couldn’t help but jump at the opportunity to become more involved in the investigation. 

It’s not that she’d never been on a stakeout for the Bureau before, in fact she’d probably been on so many at this point that she’d lost count. The only difference that this specific stakeout brought to her life was the fact that it was her first one to have ever been shared with Spencer Reid.

Her and the young doctor had lived in the same apartment building since her first day at the BAU, but their relationship pretty much began and ended at that. Of course they greeted each other whenever they passed in the halls of their building and ricocheted off of each other’s theories whenever necessary during their meetings in the round table room, but it would be a lie to label their relationship as anything other than casual acquaintances as well as amicable coworkers. 

She had never been able to fully get a grasp on the elusive Dr. Reid. The fact that he was already such an integral member of the F.B.I. at the ripe age of 25 astounded and, well to be honest, perplexed her. Not that she doubted his abilities or intelligence in any way, quite the opposite really. She admired how utterly brilliant he proved to be day in and day out, even with the shy exterior he presented himself with to the world. Well, shy was definitely more of an understatement. 

She had never met someone more socially awkward in her entire life, but with that being said, she couldn’t help but find it endearing and pretty dang adorable. Y/n constantly found herself enjoying his pathetic attempts at human interaction on a daily basis. From the nervous stutters to the out of this world hand gestures, there was much for her to dissect about the young doctor. And while she could openly admit that he was quite easy on the eyes, in a boyish-innocent kind of way, she had never really been able to see him in that sort of light.

If she thought his normal social interaction skills were entertaining to witness, his reactions to any of the conversations that took a more raunchy turn were to die for. The speed at which his features would ripen red like a tomato whenever anything of a sexual nature was brought up during cases was truly amazing, impressive even. However, unlike the rest of their team, she knew he wasn’t completely innocent. The walls in their apartment were as good as paper when it came to thickness, so it wasn’t that big surprise that the sounds created within them carried fairly well. 

Or at least that was what she had discovered after the first night she heard him touching himself just through her bedroom wall. 

Yes, it was less than ideal that their bedroom walls just happened to be adjacent to each other, but what could she do about it? It wasn’t as though she never sought out her own pleasure while alone in her apartment...although she would bet money that she was much better at withholding her noises. Instead, she learned to adapt to the sounds from next door and continue on with her life, having accepted that guys will in fact be dudes, no matter how innocent and meek they may appear.

When her boss had explained the nature of the assignment to them, there wasn’t anything of significance that had jumped out at her. It was all pretty standard instruction. They would wait, parked, in a government issued SUV overnight at a location close to the whereabouts of the criminals and simply translate their conversations using the mics that were planted prior. While Hotch knew that Y/n herself couldn’t understand Russian, it was common knowledge that the resident genius easily could transcribe the language.

And that was how she found herself cramped next to Spencer Reid in the stagnant vehicle, pen and paper in hand, patiently waiting for the translations to begin. 

It was almost completely silent inside the car, apart from the quiet whirring of the heat coming through the vents, and she could basically feel the nerves coming off of the man next to her in waves. That’s why she was completely thrown off her game when his timid voice was the first to break through the silence that had encompassed the space they inhabited together.

“So um Y/n..h-how have you been recently?”

She did her best to hide the small smirk that started to form on her face from the stuttering mess that spilled out of his mouth. She definitely didn’t want to make him feel even worse about himself so she decided to humour his adorable attempt at conversation with her...well...sort of.

“Oh ya know Reid, just counting the days until I get some action. How about you?” If she  thought he was sputtering nervously before, that was nothing compared to this treasure.

“Oh um well uh I-I mean...I don-I don’t...uh...w-what was the question a-again?”

This time she couldn’t stop the airy chuckle that escaped her lips as she leaned over and patted him gently on his thigh.

“Relax Reid, I’m just fucking around with you. Well for the most part...I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to some action, but that’s a whole can of worms I am not about to open during a stakeout”, Y/n laughed, not at all missing the steadily spreading blush that coated his sharp features.

“Yeah...no..yeah right of course...I t-totally knew you were just um fu-messing with me! Uh we should probably um r-review our assignment...you know just so we’re all s-set before we start.” How adorable.

“Aye-aye captain Reid. Ok so..”, she muttered while fiddling with the listening device to secure the right frequency. “...we just have to wait until they get back so we’re in range of their conversations. That’s when you’ll have your time to shine and prove yourself as the resident genius once again. And I’m sure that you’re aware that I don’t know a lick of the Russian language so I will be the best damn transcriber for you that the world has ever seen”, she finished with a smirk. 

Even Reid chuckled a bit at her words, the ever-present blush slowly creeping back upon his face and neck. 

“I’ll uh-I’ll hold you to that then.” Y/n had to admit she particularly liked to see the boy smiling, especially when it was the result of her own words. His innocence seemed to call out to her like a siren and she didn’t know how to feel about it.

“Oh-oh there they are! Ok get the pen and paper ready because as soon as they’re in range I’ll start translating.”

Getting themselves situated, they waited the few seconds it took for the couple to get close enough to the vicinity of the SUV for their conversations to begin to be broadcasted through their system.

“Как вы думаете, они идут по нашему следу?”

“Do you think they’re on our trail?”, Spencer easily understands, leaning slightly closer to her so his words were clearly heard.

“Ни за что. У этих глупых американцев нет шансов поймать нас.”

“No way. Those stupid Americans don’t stand a chance at catching us.”

At this point, the couple had already disappeared behind the door at the entrance of their current base, leaving only their words to give the closely listening agents much needed context clues.

“Я когда-нибудь говорил тебе, как сильно мне нравится твоя уверенность?”

“Have I ever told you how much I love your confidence?” 

Even Spencer let himself smile at the chuckle that left Y/n’s lips. “Awww how cute...they’re flirting with each other over mass murder. I strive for that kind of intimacy.”

“Да у тебя есть. Но почему бы тебе не показать мне, насколько тебе это нравится.”

“Yes, you have. But why don’t you show me just how much you love it.”

Uh oh, Y/n thought to herself. Not a second after the untimely thought permeated her brain, the sounds of wet lips sloppily colliding against each other filled the otherwise silent vehicle. After the few seconds of shock wore off, their heads whipped to face each other, eyes wide and mouths wide open. “Huh...well this was certainly an unexpected turn.”

“I uh um-uh well w-what do we do now?”, Tomato Boy nervously sputtered out over the chorus of moans and groans that were currently bouncing off the SUV’s walls. As unexpected as the present situation was, she was absolutely eating up his reaction to the crude sounds.

“Well, Hotch did say he wanted us to take down every single word that was shared between them so...I guess we’re just gonna have to keep moving forward with the translations. You can do that, can’t you Reid?”, she explained, not even attempting to hide the growing smirk on her face.

“Yeah! Yes! Mhmm I can do that, I c-can definitely do t-that.”, he gushed, trying to subtly clear his throat to clear the steadily growing tension in his body.

“Good to hear, Doc.”, she cheekily replied just as the raunchy sounds echoing through the system transitioned to different methods of communication, more legible ones.

“Ты была для меня такой хорошей девочкой. Я думаю, ты заслуживаешь награды.”

Quickly clearing his throat once more, he jumped back into action, with what Y/n noticed was considerably less confidence than before. “You’ve b-been such a good g-girl for me. I think you deserve a r-reward.” Spencer’s voice had noticeably dropped to a whisper by the end of the sentence, forcing Y/n to lean closer to be able to hear his translations, only magnifying the already present tension in the air. 

“Пожалуйста, папа, я сделаю что угодно.”

“P-please daddy.” His voice broke at the end igniting something deep inside Y/n’s being. “I’ll do anything.” In that moment she truly believed he would do anything, his own words or not, based on the obvious strain in his pants that her eyes glanced over, and also by the way his skin completely succumbed to goosebumps as her warm breath caressed the shell of his ear. She didn’t really know what the hell was happening, why her body was absolutely loving the way he gradually leaned into her’s, submitting all of his vulnerabilities into her hands. 

“Тебе это нравится, не так ли, маленькая шлюшка. Как член папы глубоко внутри тебя?”

She watched the way he inhaled a deep breath and released a high-pitched sigh before continuing on, subtly pressing her legs together to control the excitement thrumming through her body at his pathetic tone and mannerisms. 

“You like t-that don’t you, you little-uh-you little s-slut?” From their close proximity, she could clearly make out the speedy heartbeat clambering against his chest as he spoke. And if that was the case, he must’ve been able to feel hers as well. “Like daddy’s c-cock deep inside of y-you?” She could’ve sworn she saw his dick twitch slightly in his pants.

“Маленькая шлюшка уже придет за мной? Тогда умоляйте об этом. Бля, умоляю позволить тебе кончить.”

Y/n certainly did not miss the airy sigh that escaped his lips, watching as a bead of sweat dripped down his temple, confidently guessing it was not from the heat that had been coming through the vents.

“Is the little-little s-slut gonna come for me already? B-beg for it then. Fucking beg f-for me to let you c-come.” Spencer was speedily falling apart at the seams and she was loving it. More than loving it. She was craving it. Craving the little noises that he was trying to stop from escaping his lips. Craving the way he slightly bounced his leg in an attempt to control his arousal, which was futile because it had obviously already reached its full potential in the confines of his khaki slacks. 

“Пожалуйста, папа. Пожалуйста, позволь мне прийти. Мне это надо. Пожалуйста.”

Without even hearing the words translated back to her, she could hear the utter desperation in the girl’s voice. She no longer needed to understand the Russian language to be able to finish the translation, and as she sat there with her thighs tightly pressed together, she knew exactly what it meant.

“Please!” The utter need that was present in the original audio was somehow mirrored perfectly by the young doctor’s breathy voice, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, a prominent vein popping through the skin of his smooth forehead. “Please, p-please, please let me come. I n-need it. Please!”

“Приди за мной, детка.”

Deciding that she could regret her actions in the morning, Y/n quickly grabbed his face before he could translate, angling his head so she could whisper directly into his ear at the same time he spoke the last line of the night.

“Come for me baby.”, they both spoke at the exact same time.

Pulling away as fast as possible, she watched his clamped eyes shoot open as the most obnoxiously loud moan she had ever heard escaped the poor kid, his whole body spasming as a result. And using the large stain on the crotch of his pants as a guide, she was pretty certain she knew what had happened.

For the next few minutes there was silence in the SUV, apart from Spencer’s heavy breathing as he came down of course, leading them to believe the couple had fallen asleep after their...activities. Of course she wanted nothing more than to tease the trembling mess next to her, but she could already tell he was mortified beyond belief because of what happened so she didn’t want to make it any worse for him than it already was. 

After waiting a few extra minutes just to make sure that they had actually gone to sleep, the pair drove away from the stakeout location, Spencer not having said a word since his...big finish. As much as she loved watching him fall apart in front of her, she really didn’t want him to feel uncomfortable around her. 

“Well that was certainly an unexpected turn of events for the night, huh?”, she said, lightly chuckling with the intent of lightening his mood. She was very glad to see it had the intended effect.

“Uh y-yeah...you could definitely say that again.”, he mumbled with the ghost of a smile on his plump lips, though she could still clearly make out the blush coating his features.

“So hey, I know that you usually take the metro, but I’d be more than happy to give you a ride home after we drop the SUV off at the office if you want.”, she warmly smiled in his direction without taking her eyes completely off the road.

“Oh um..yeah that would be perfect. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it Reid.”

~~~

The rest of the ride back to the office was pretty much spent in silence, but it was much more comfortable than it had been before, which was a huge relief. After dropping the keys to the SUV in the lock box inside, the two agents piled into Y/n’s car to go back home to their shared building. On their way back she considered just asking him if he wanted to ride with her everyday just to make his life a little easier in the long run.

Once they got to the parking lot and exited the vehicle, they began walking towards the entrance together, the awkward tension from before creeping back into the air around them. Soon enough, they found themselves standing in front of their respective doors, both unsure of how they were supposed to end the night’s interactions. After a few moments of painful silence and eye contact, Y/n was the first one to rip off the band-aid.

“So...I guess I’ll see you tomorrow Reid?” He seemed to be broken out of his trance by the sound of her voice, snapping back to attention.

“Huh? Oh yeah uh yes of course. S-see you tomorrow Y/n. Goodnight.” He scampered into his apartment before she could even get a chance to respond to his bidding.

“Goodnight.”, she whispered to no one other than herself as she unlocked her door and headed inside to shower quickly before diving into her soft sheets.

She was sitting up in her bed, book in hand, with only the small glow of her reading lamp illuminating her room when she heard it. Of course she knew immediately what they were, a talent that had developed and strengthened from living adjacent to a pretty much pubescent boy.

The tell-tale sound of moans and groans vibrating right through her wall.

She knew she probably shouldn’t be listening, something about a violation of privacy or whatever, but she just couldn’t help it. He sounded so desperate it was driving her insane. So much in fact that she was in the process of skimming her own hand downwards when she was interrupted by a certain something from the Doc’s room.

“Y/n! Oh god, please. Please.”

Oh. Oh.

Not even giving herself a second to consider her actions, she was up on her feet basically sprinting to his door, pajamas and all. Not even bothering with knocking, she noticed it was unlocked and let herself in, beelining for what she assumed was his bedroom by the increasing volume as she approached it. Standing in his doorframe, she was utterly mesmerized. There he was, sprawled across his sheets, completely bare with sweat coating his hair as he rapidly pumped his angry, red cock, her name tumbling from his lips like a chant.

“You’re so beautiful like this.” She smirked as she watched his head shoot up to where she was standing, his hand immediately stilling it’s rapid movements. Watching the panic spread on his face was intoxicating to her as she slowly approached his bed.

“Y/n! Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I uh-I didn’t um...” His words trailed off and his eyes widened as he watched her slowly begin removing her clothes as she moved closer to him. 

“Shhhhhh.” She managed to remove both her shirt and pajama pants in the short trip over to his bed and she had no intention of stopping there. Now standing directly in front of him, she let her eyes wander over his still frame completely, soaking in the amazement in his dark eyes and the slight tremble that was periodically rippling through his body. Maintaining eye contact with him the whole time, she reached behind her back and unclasped her bra, letting it pool on the floor next to her.

It was honestly shocking his eyes didn’t actually fall onto the floor with how far they bulged out of their sockets, a small moan leaving his mouth. 

She giggled at his enthusiasm before bringing her soft hands up to caress his face gently, his body shuddering at the contact. “Do you want me to keep going baby boy?” Taking a second to process the question that had left her lips, he slowly nodded while looking her in the eyes, his own full of awe. 

Happy with his answer, she reached for the edge of her panties before pushing them down to join the other pieces of clothing already inhabiting his floor. Spencer couldn’t speak. He could barely even breathe. Five minutes ago he had been jerking off to his neighbor, who also happened to be his coworker, and now said neighbor was crawling onto his bed, completely naked, with a wicked smirk on her face.

Straddling his lap, but making sure that there was no actual contact, she reached up to cup his face again, slowly rubbing circles into his defined cheekbone. “Is this ok baby boy? Is this what you want?”, she cooed. 

Spencer looked like he honestly might cry from the pure compassion laced within her words, but still found a way to nervously nod his head in affirmation of her questions. With a warm smile on her face, she leaned forward and placed a feather-light kiss on his lower jaw before continuing up the side of his face, basking in the small whimpers that fell from his pretty lips. Finally reaching his ear, she let her warm breath tease him before proceeding. 

“Do you want me to take control of you? Is that what you want sweet boy?” While the whine that immediately escaped him was answer enough, she pulled back searching for a more concrete answer to her question. “Hmmmm, you’d like that?” 

“Yes.”, he whispered, nodding his head anxiously. 

While he was answering she had leaned back towards his face, placing soft kisses all over. “As you wish baby boy.”, she whispered, changing course to attack his neck with her eager lips as soon the words left her mouth. Spencer gasped instantly and she couldn’t help but smirk against his pale flesh, increasing the pressure in which she was assaulting his neck.

Through the groans that spilled past his lips, she was able to make out his pathetic attempt at words, not slowing down her lips at all. “J-just make sure not to leave any m-marks. We’ll g-get in trouble at w-work.” Of course Spencer would be the only person on the planet to remember their office guidelines while getting his neck sucked like a vampire.

“No marks...that’ll be difficult. I want everyone to know just how thoroughly I fucked you.”

Feeling extremely satisfied by his enthusiastic response to her vulgar words, she slowly lowered herself down his body, pausing with her mouth right above his groin. Somehow the poor kid already looked completely fucked out and she hadn’t even done anything yet. Hearing him wince as she gently grasped and started stroking his cock, she knew this was gonna be fun.

Staring directly into her eyes, he watched the string of spit leave her mouth and drip directly onto his dick, eyes bulging at her bold actions, still in shock that any of this was actually happening. 

Entranced by the way his chest expanded rapidly as he watched her curiously, she leaned forward and licked the tip, his head falling back onto the pillow behind him. “I’m gonna suck your cock...but only because I want to see if you can not be a spaz about getting head from me.” Her words made Spencer whimper and she smirked as she took him fully into her mouth, soaking in his pretty noises. 

Y/n had only been going for a minute or two when she heard his groans get louder and felt him twitch in her mouth. Pulling off of him with a pop, she hummed at the sight of the completely wrecked boy in front of her, panting and shaking adorably. It wasn’t long before the perfect idea infiltrated her head, her body thrumming with anticipation and excitement.

“You’ve been such a good boy for me. I think you deserve a reward.”, she smirked, reciting the words that they had heard verbatim. Seemingly catching on to what she was pushing for, he responded accordingly.

“Please Y/n. I’ll do anything.”

She quirked her eyebrow in his direction questioningly, slowly grinding her dripping core against his achingly hard cock. “Anything, baby boy?”

Snapping his heated stare directly to her eyes, he cracked a beautiful smile. “Anything.”

She couldn’t control the grin that overtook her lips as she lowered herself down onto his erection, writhing in pleasure at the feel of him inside of her and the sound of his wanton moans. “Good boy.” 

Wanting to give Spencer time to fully adjust and control himself, she started her movements out slow, lifting herself up until only his tip remained inside before dropping down completely into his lap repeatedly. He was a moaning mess on the sheets below her, sweat coating his body along with goosebumps covering every visible expanse of his skin as he panted like a dog. He was so fucking pretty like this. 

Deciding enough was enough, she picked up the pace considerably, bouncing like a mad woman on his dick, while her sharp nails scratched down his creamy, pale chest in front of her, leaving angry, red streaks in their wake. Spencer had devolved into a blubbering mess underneath her and that lit her soul on fire.

“You like that don’t you, you little slut? Like your cock deep inside of me? Huh?” 

Y/n was pretty sure that he was short circuiting below her, his brain cutting off all control over his body as he spasmed uncontrollably and moaned for the entire fucking building to hear. Good, she thought. Let them hear how whipped he was for her. Even though it had only been a few minutes since she increased her speed, she could feel his cock starting to twitch violently inside of her and she knew he was close, really close.

“Is the little slut gonna come for me already?” All he could do was whimper in response, having to nod his head emphatically due to his loss of speech.

“Beg for it then. Fucking beg for me to let you come!” She was on fucking cloud nine right now, floating through the motions, as his whimpers increased in volume and speed. Mustering up all the strength he could, he spit out as many audible words as possible.

“Please! Please, please, please let me come! I need it! Please!” He was crying now, tears rapidly pouring from his eyes and spilling down his cheeks out of sheer desperation and need to release the tension built up within his body.

She was in awe of him. As she watched the tears pour down his face, she couldn’t help but whimper too. Desperately needing to finish, herself, she brought one hand down to make circles around her clit, while the other she brought up to wrap gently around his flushed throat, leaning over to whisper in his ear like she had earlier that night.

“Come for me, baby.”

She once again pulled back to witness his reactions to her hushed words, the outcome only more amazing than before. She watched as his eyes rolled back as far they could possibly go into his head as his mouth dropped open in pure ecstasy, high-pitched whines escaping his lips, his release shooting up into her like it had always belonged there. Maybe it had.

Watching him come undone below her, combined with her hand speedily rubbing circles on her clit, she was catapulted into the most amazing climax of her entire life, her body buzzing with excitement as she tightened around him and collapsed on his chest, weak as could be after that activity.

The pair laid silently, apart from the heaving breaths whirring through the room, still in shock over what had just transpired minutes before. Slowly shifting her eyes to the shivering boy below her, she saw he was caught in a trance, his eyes dazed, a soft grin on his lips. 

Breaking him from his stupor, she gently cupped his cheek with one hand as the other drew lazy circles on his blotchy chest. Rubbing the skin on his face lightly, she leaned forward and kissed his nose, making him scrunch it up and giggle as a result. “Such a sweet boy for me. Such a sweet, sweet boy.” Her words made him melt inside and words tumbled out of his own mouth before he could even think about stopping them.

“Вы красивы внутри и снаружи.”

She looked up at him in shock, before breaking out in giggles. “Did you just serenade me in Russian? How romantic.”, she giggled, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

He couldn’t seem to control his giggles either, a fact that warmed her heart. “Yes, I suppose I did.”

Smiling up at the adorable boy she just had to ask. “What does it mean?”

Y/n watched as his signature blush quickly coated his features once again as he looked down at her with a shy smile. “You are beautiful, inside and out.”

With the warmest grin she could muster, she leaned up and kissed his jaw once more before snuggling up against the young doctor who had melted her heart.

Tag List: @hopebaker @pastathighs @psychedellic-phase @gloryekaterina @sleepysnapesnake @racharr @etherealgubler @furiouspartyrebelhoagie @andiebeaword @liaabsurd @cielo1984 @starkeybaby @victomizedbyreginageorge @rainsong01 @moonlight-jukebox @gretaamyk @httpnxtt @rachelxwayne @goldnratio @cheyxminds @kricketc29 @cupcake525 @pinkdiamond1016 @slutforthegubes @shadyladyperfection @emilysallysmith @babblingbrookex @legendaryanimeaestheticclou @sunstspidey @ashwarren32 @pixels-impulse @eviewildflower @spencerreider @awkwardsadaa @dirty-pan-goblin @spencerspecifics

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 58 - [NSFW] The truth behind the DIR EN GERY misprint, and a mysterious voice...

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, with this week's episode of the Freedom of Expression. Joe, Tasai, welcome...Um..

T: Ah!

J: What is it?

T: No way!

K: Its 'Young Jump'

J: Ah, Young Jump.

K: I think you already know about this, but we put an ad on it like this *shows back page*.

J: Oh, looks great!

T: Yeah, it does. Very impactful.

K: Its good, isn't it?

T: Yeah, great impact.

K: There's something a bit odd about it.

J: Haha

T: Huh? Where?

J: Eh? Something odd?

K: Yeah, its a bit strange. There's a bit of a mistake.

J: Is the kanji for Oboro correct?

K: Yeh, and this is right, about the release on the 28th of April.

J: And Wenesday is correct, right?

K: Yeah, and the explosion screening schedule is ok.

T: Yeah, it is.

K: The ticket price info is also all fine.

J: Yep.

K: After that there's only this bottom section.

J:Yeah.

T: DIR EN...

T, J: GERY, haha.

J: Has a new band formed?

K: We screwed up.

J, T: Hahaha

K: Its hard to believe, right?

J: Incredible. I did not expect this..Dir en gery.

T: I thought it was like a trick or something.

J: Oh, to make it go viral or..?

T: Yeah, going with Dir en gery.

J: Kaoru, what was it?

T: We'll find out about it here.

K: It was a total mistake.

J, T: Hahaha

J: Seriously? Eh? Really?

K: Yeah.

T: Does that mean it was done on a hurry, if its a seroius mistake?

K: Yeah, I guess so.

J: Well, Tasai, you work for a newspaper, and I also work for Rolling Stone, so we understand this, but our work is handed in for checking, you know, proof-reading. And they do spot mistakes, but honestly, I have never seen mistake of this size before.

T: Yeh. This is at the level of 'accident'. However, there is a case for saying that we cannot attack this. What I mean by that is that we too make mistakes.

J: Yes, thats true. There is that. Well, this goes for magazines etc too, but if you do proof-reading within the organization, for example, if the writer writes an article, the editor will proof-read it, and they may intend to, but if everyone is really busy with loads of other work, they will run out of time. Then they will get it checked by an external proof-reader. Even then there are sometimes still typos left over.

T: Yeah, there are.

J: There are, right? Human error happens.

T: Yeah, like if I misspell a name or something, I can correct it on the digital version, but on paper it appears on every copy out there.

J: Yeah..

K: But like this?!

J: Yeah, we say this, but we've never seen a typo this bad. Like, I've mistaken small details in names and stuff before.

K: Yeah, like Young Jump becoming Young JumP, right?

J, T: Yeh, haha.

K: Not like this! *points to 'GERY'*

J: Haha, this is...

*Sound of strange voice occurs in background - On screen text: 'What was that voice?! One more time.. (Clip of strange voice re-plays) No-one during the filming heard this. Its a mystery voice'*

J: Tell us what happened?

T: Yeah, lets ask.

K: Um, we had the design made, and the designer made the regular logo and put it down here in this fixed spot, so it looked as if the logo was done, even though there was a mistake in it. At the time, I wasn't looking at the band name, I was looking at the overall design, and ths impact it had. Like this image of Kyo from RokumaykanGIG. My eyes were drawn to the best parts of the design. It wasn't really designed to emphasize the band name. Its designed to showcase this top part, so I, like, didn't see it. Die didn't even see it, and he normally checks these really carefully. Even if we miss something, he normally spots it straight away. 

J: Ah, even Die didn't notice it! ???*1

K: Yeah. We were too busy checking that there were no mistakes in the tour schedule.

J: Yeah.

K: But the information is all correct, so if its just the band name with a mistake, well, maybe its ok.

T: This could become a really rare item in time to come.

J: Yeah, cause there isn't gonna be a misspelling with Dir en grey again after this. That point will be strengthened.

K: Not for a while yeah. A long time ago, we had a single out called 'Filth', and there was a mistake in the title of the song on the cover jacket.

T: Eh? So this is the second time this has happened to you?

K: Well...yeh.

T: Hahaha

K: Well, we occasionally make small mistakes *2, but...

T: This is big.

J: Can I suggest something? Good things come in threes.

K: Ah, terrible.

J: So there will be a third time to come, imagine it, it could be both the title and the band name with a mistake.

T: Hahaha

K: Well, what can I do about it now? If you buy the single 'Filth' even now, its still like that. So filth is spelled f-i-l-h..huh? h-f...um, it's..

T: ..t-h

K: f-i-l-t-h, but the i became f, I mean h. So because there were two h's I realised the mistake. If there really is only one h, it could be that they just made the letters look in that style, but they look the same to me.

T: Ehh? I want to line Filth up next to this magazine.

J: Yeah

J, K: Hahaha

T: Don't you have it here? Filth?

K: We do.

T: Lets put them out together!

K: When I saw this (*Young Jump*) though, well, I thought it was quite rare*3, it could become a talking point. If you take a bad thing in a smooth way, someone will notice, so I thought we could just go with it.

J: Brilliant!

K: And then I posted on Twitter, like 'Ooops'. And that was a photo of the actual magazine, so it really was like 'ooops'.

T: As soon as I saw your Tweet, I was like 'Huh?!' and I went to the convenience store and bought it. haha

J: Well, in that sense it is a rare item

T: Can we decide on the correct reading for this? How would you say it?

K: Ge-ri?

J: Dir en gery (ge-ri).

K: jeri? geri?

J: geri? jeri?

T: gari?

J: Its geri, right? Well, jeri is like..

K: In the basic form its geri, right?

J: Yeah. jeri might have to be 'Gerry' with two r's.  Which is best Dir en jeri or Dir en geri?

T: Should we decide? Even though it doesn't really matter.

J: Yeah

J: Dir en geri sounds like a struggling country rock artist or something, haha. Dir en jeri has jellyfish vibes.

T: The official name: Dir en Gery (jeri). haha.

J: I want you guys to do a joke live show as Dir en gery. You could switch parts, like Kaoru, you could be on drums.

K: Ah, but we did kinda do that once, we changed parts on stage. I just made a load of noise.

J: Ahh, so you could do that as Dir en gery somewhere officially and play one song.

T: Ahh, thats a good idea.

J: Do a cover or something.

T: You could do ???*4

K: Er, no. haha.

J: Haha, this will getting bigger and bigger.

T: But I heard recently at the MeguroRokumaykanGIG screening, Kyo said  that Toshiya used to play guitar a long time ago.

K: He was playing guitar the first time we saw him playing in a band...well, I don't know if he was playing it, or just waving it around a lot.

T: Yeah, Kyo said the stage was going wild.

K: Yeah, he wasn't playing.

J: So, when you guys switched instruments on stage, what did you do Kaoru?

K: Drums.

J: Oh, drums?

K: Thats the one I wanna try out the most.

J: So if you guys played as Dir en gery, Kaoru, you would be..?

T: Drums?

K:...Nah....*imitates playing the castanets*

J: Tambourine? Oh, castanets? So, it doesn't necessarily have to be the same instruments you play at the moment?

K: Yeah. As long as we play as a proper band.

J: Yeah, so Kyo could play the recorder..

T: Someone could hit the ???*5

J: Yeah, yeah. Oh, that would be good.

*The single Filth gets passed over*

K: I'll just get it out.

*K shows cover jacket to J*

J: Oh, here, right?

K: Can you see, there are two h's.

J: Yes. I see.

*K shows it to T*

J: The first h is a typo?

K: Yeah.

T: Its a bit difficult to spot though.

K: We didn't even notice, we thought it was just the design.

J: Yeah. Put them together now.

*K puts magazine and CD together*

J, T: Hahaha

K: By the way, it was the same person who designed both of these.

J, T: Haha

K: When he saw it he was so pained.

T: Its ok, ???*6

J: Ahh, well, it can't be helped though.

*On screen note: Again? (weird voice appears)*

J: Even if there is a spelling mistake, its conveying the atmosphere that is the main thing.

K: Yeah, thats the emphasis.

J: But on the other hand, you could say that as soon as 'Dir' appears, people recognise it as Dir en grey, even with this kind of misspelling. The name is that well know.

T: Hmm, yeh

K: Hm, well, yeh, if you look at it up to here. But for us, its impossible.

J: Well, I guess yeah. It goes for Rolling Stones too. For example, if the last n in Rolling Stones became an m, you wouldn't immediately spot it. If it came up all of a sudden, you would just think 'Ah, the Stones'. It's that kind of name recognition. You could see it in that way. But I didn't know it was the same designer who did it both times.

K: Our boss was pretty mad about it.

J, T: Hahaha

J: Really? I see.

K: He couldn't believe it.

J: Well, yeah. Its also the most important part.

T: Well, yeah, and cause its already in circulation.

J: Yeah. Well, everyone can keep it as a treasure.

K: Where's Kami?

J: Yeah, isn't he here?

Kami: Oh, Im here, I was just listening the whole time. People make mistakes, right?

T: They do.

Kami: This is just a mistake. So its wrong to point blame.

T, J: Yes.

J: Kami, have you made a mistake recently or something?

Kami: Im always making mistakes, and always getting into trouble.

J, T: Haha

Kami: As soon as you've made a mistake, it hurts, right?

T: Yeah, I know that feeling.

Kami: Yeah.

J: Yeah, the person who made the mistake knows it, you don't have to tell them.

T: Yeah, that hurts the most.

Kami: I bet if you made a mistake like this though, you'd get into big trouble.

T, K: Haha

Kami: I think you really would.

T: Well, heh, yeah. But if even Die overlooked this..its like a demon interferred..

J: Yeah, unbelievable.

K: But, anyway, Im taking it in a good way. Well, I mean, it's not good to take just any old thing in a positive way, but....its a bit like those remarks by Mori that we discussed recently.

J: Oh yeah.

K: Like how to move on with it.

J: Yeah, we can learn from that.

K: Yeah.

*Sound cuts out. On screen note: Suddenly, we were unable to record to voices. Was it linked to that sound we heard earlier?*

K: Um, the sound..

J: It seems as if the sound went off.

T: I wonder whether its to do with what we just talked about?

K: What, like, 'Stop this conversation?'

J: Haha, like from ths designer's perspective...'Please stop it!'

T: Haha, yeah, 'Please!'

J: So, what about the Oboro single?

K: So, we're at the last stage, just the mastering, and a little more discussion, and we're about finished. And then the packaging. Well, there's just a little bit longer till the 28th, about another month.

J: Well, Im looking forward to it.

K: Ok, lets finish here for this week. Thank you.

*On screen note: The voice that no-one, including the staff, heard during recording was recorded into the mic data.*

*1,4,5,6 Couldn't catch

*2, 3 Not entirely sure

To top

[imagine-lcorp]

Between Two Lungs (One Shot)

A/N: Hello dears, so here it is the infamous fic I’ve been writing. I really hope this fullfils my dream of crushing your hearts once again and that you have a fun time agonizing over this final choice. Because yes, I’ve made this a multiending fic...As always, remember to tell me what you think, is it something you want me to keep doing for other fics? Also, how did you feel after this? pls let me know. Also i made this PLAYLIST if you want to add some feeling to this while reading... Enjoy! 

Lena Luthor x R/Hanahaki AU//Word Count: 3,464

-------------------------------------------------

It is possible to die of a broken heart.

You look it up somewhere in the internet. It's similar to a heart attack, caused by a very strong and emotionally stressful event. The death of a loved one, a breakup, a betrayal. It's treatable and rarely fatal. Following the recommendations of your doctor, you can make a full recovery within weeks. Still, it is possible to die of it.

You don't have a broken heart. You wish you had one. Because love, the one only you feel, is growing inside of you and it is much worse than that.

Thankfully, compared to others your condition it's not as painful as it could be.

You have heard about people with roses inside them, how their thorns puncture their pharynges with every breath they take. Others don't get flowers. They get apple or cherry trees with their fruits pouring juice inside their lungs and out of their mouths. Some others have pines and spruces, with cones constricting their organs and rib-cages until they bones break.

So you look at the small white petal that lays in your hand and think that, in your case, it is something almost magnanimous.

Plumerias have no thorns and, even though some can be a bit thick, their branches are soft enough to bend around your heart and lungs without much trouble. Their petals, small and delicate, rise easily up your throat without lacerating it in a coughing fit.

Maybe, you want to think in a very optimist way, if you can keep that love from growing further, you won't have to suffer through it.

Maybe.

So you prescribe for your own heart solitude and abstinence.

The first one is the easiest.

You tell your friends you are sick and need some time to recover. Most of them get worried as they don't know yet what illness has fallen upon you in these troublesome times.

"You know, If you wanted, I could get you a full medical examination." Alex offers with a raised eyebrow, giving you the look of the always concerned big sister.

"Thanks, but it's alright." You assure them with a smile. "I was thinking about spending some time at home anyway."

After a lot of questions you manage to dodge in the end, they decide there's no reason to doubt your intentions. So they leave you to your own devices.

Homemade remedies, or herbicides depending on who you ask, seem to help as you spend your days at home. Drinking some salt water with lemon in the morning, or a couple of vinegar tablespoons in a cup of tea before going to bed. They don't taste that bad once you get used to the flavor and these help you ease the new bitterness that you taste in the back of your throat.

The second is a bit harder.

You have to stop yourself from dreaming her, thinking her, missing her.

She has texted you a few times already, wanting to know how you're doing and offering her help if you don't feel like you're doing okay on your own. You handle it as best as you can. You text back, consistently enough and with measured time and words, so you don't raise any red flags. When you don't seem to answer she calls, but just thinking about hearing her voice makes your chest hurt a little.

You never answer. She doesn't try to call again. You spit your first handful of flowers after that.

It's all fine, you lie to yourself, at least until the pain reaches your insides and white petals come out of you mouth dappled in red.

"You need to tell her." Kara says softly as she pats your back after another coughing fit.

You cover your mouth with your hand, making sure there are no signs of blood or petals as you tight it into a fist. "Tell who what?"

"Tell Lena about the flowers." She sighs when she fells you freeze under her touch. "Sorry. Alex told me if I could get a clear shot at your lungs maybe we could figure out how to help. I didn't expect it to be... well, flowers."

It shouldn't come as a surprise to you but you are still amazed at how easy it is to forget Kara has x-ray vision when she's not wearing her suit. With or without it, she's still the same caring and protective person you have always known. It also explains why she has been so adamant about having lunch together, at least once a week, after your failed attempt at convincing her you were doing well after a month alone. You couldn't expect less from your best friend, you remind yourself as you catch your breath.

"How do you know it's her?" The taste is bitter as you swallow the rest of blood and petals in your mouth.

"It's plumerias, isn't it?" She rubs your back again as you regain you posture. "They are her favorites."

There are a couple of red tainted petals in your palm when you open your hand. "Yeah, they are."  

Kara looks at you and you see something in her you don't think you have ever seen before in the Girl of Steel. But you recognize it, because you feel the same way. Hopeless. Helpless. Powerless.

"(Y/N)." She says like she's already grieving. "It's spreading fast."

The easiest way to get ride of the disease is by removing its seed from your heart, the doctor says. No more than an hour in the operating room and your respiratory system would be as good as new. Common symptoms after the surgery can include aches between your shoulder blades, ribs, back of the neck or chest, weakness and hoarseness in your voice, and, in general, some memory loss and the inability to experiment intense or deep affection towards another person. Most of these stop shortly after you recover, except for the last one.

More experimental methods have been developed with the help of biotherapy. Experts in Japan are said to have reduced the spread of the flowers with other plants like kudzu or barberry, while someone in Europe has been using thrips to eat the plant and control its growth. It's like using maggots to eat your wounds, the doctor explains more enthusiastic than you feel.

You could, of course, try the simplest of things and confess your love.

It only takes to be loved in return for you to heal before any permanent damage is done. The seed that grows in your heart will almost instantly wither, the cough will purge the last of the flowers out of your lungs, and your recovery will last only a couple of weeks. You will breathe again.

But, if your love goes unrequited, you'll reach your fatal end in a matter of days. Doctors will give you a double dose of morphine or induce a coma trying to ease your pain. Flowers, fruits and cones bloom, branches and thorns grow. You convulse and gasp until your last breath when the biggest flowers come out of your mouth. All until your thorax is transformed, beautifully and violently, into a garden of flesh and blood.

Anyone who has seen it happen will tell you, how shocking it is to witness such a thing.

Whatever the case, this only serves to confirm what you already know. You can't be optimistic anymore.

You're dying and you will die, soon with flowers in your lungs or after many years with a loveless heart. Because this life and death of yours, you think, cannot be, shall not be, decided by a coin in the air.

And yet.

"It's flowers...in my lungs." You can almost tell which direction the flower stalks take inside your chest as the words form in your mouth.

"Oh." Lena says as she starts to fidget with her hands.

The anger, that had been growing inside her after weeks of vague replies and evasions, vanishes in her eyes the moment she understands what you're going through.

"Have you...talked to the other person?"

"No, not really. Not yet." You try not to lose your composure as you feel the flowers threatening to rise up your throat.  

"Will you?" She asks.

You take a deep breath, feeling the gravity pull your already heavy heart down. "It's plumerias."

"Plumerias?" You can see the moment it dawns on Lena, and the look she gives you makes you wish again you could die of a broken heart instead.

"Miss Luthor, I'm sorry but the board meeting will start shortly."    

Jess opens the door a second later and it gives you time to look at the other side and place your hand in your chest. As if that could possibly stop your heart and lungs from collapsing.

"Thank you, Jess. I'll be there." Lena dismisses her with a nod and looks again at you.

She doesn't say anything else and you feel a coughing fit building in your lungs. Stronger than you have ever felt it.

"(Y/N)!" She leaves her chair, running towards you.

You cover your mouth as your chest feels like a boxer is using it as a punching bag. I doesn't feel like it will end quick and when it finally does the only thing that remains is pain.

You thank the chair that holds you in place as you catch your breath.  

"I'm fine. It's fine." You don't want her to see it, but she manages to catch a glimpse of the bloody petals that cover your palm once you recover.

"No, it's not, (Y/N). You're dying and I-"

"It's not your fault." You cut her off, shaking your head and taking a little napkin from you pocket to clean yourself as best as you can.

The death, the break, the betrayal. You feel it all as worry and pity finally merge in her eyes. There's also guilt when she looks at you. It is there along with everything else she doesn't feel for you. So you don't want an apology, especially not from her, especially not like this.  

"You're my friend and I just- I wanted you to know. I got my surgery already programmed."

"Surgery?" You watch her draw back a bit in surprise.

"I'll be fine." You lie again.

"(Y/N), I-"                            

"Miss Luthor, the board-"

"I know!" Lena snaps and, when she realizes the magnitude of her reaction, she retracts, taking a deep breath for herself before answering. "Sorry, yes. Do you think you could hold it for a minute?"

"You should go." You say with a small voice before any of them can say more. "The meeting, sounds important."

"(Y/N)..." The way she pronounces your name makes you want to be over with this already. You just can't stand it anymore.

"We'll talk later." You say. "We got time."

She wants to argue, you know, but you won't, can't, do it. Still, you pull a little smile for her.

"We'll talk later." She replies with a nod.

There will be time for another conversation. There will be time. There will be time. There will be time. You repeat it like a mantra to help you carry yourself out of her office.

Everything else after that passes like a blur.

You know you reach the front door of the building, with the voice of the receptionist behind your back offering to call for help. You stumble on the sidewalk trying to hold onto light poles and signposts to keep yourself from falling. You clutch your hand in your chest as the pain reaches its peak. Flowers come pouring out of your mouth and you gasp for air as you finally fall.

You're delirious by the time you land on the hospital bed.

Many faces come and go then, doctors, nurses, friends, ghosts, both the living and the death. The only constants are your dying gasps and the painful beating of your heart until the morphine does its work. It helps you see, with certain clarity the only face that can make a difference.

"You listen to me, alright? I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier." You open your heavy lids at the sound of her voice, and you see those emerald eyes for what could be the last time. "I love you, (Y/N), please, I love you."

You hear her words, or you don't, or it is simply to late to care anymore. The coin is in the air and there's no more time.

***

☞ You let yourself drift into darkness as the plumerias are pulled to a better light. The garden is gone and what is left behind is only an empty carcass. You cannot stand the emptiness and your heart does what it should have done from the beginning. It breaks and breaks and breaks...

***

☞ Your mind tries to grasp her words but you find your heart too weak to keep a hold of them. So you let them pass through like a shadow. No need for them anymore as the anesthesia and the scalpel give you a break from all this suffering. There will be no flowers and it is, truly, not as bad as it could be...

***

☞ Her words suddenly hit you in their full meaning and your mind does its best to keep and save them into your heart. Even through branches and petals, it has the effect of an echo chamber, repeating those words like a healing prayer. I love you. I love you. I love you...

[inkribbon796]

What a Beautiful Wedding Ch. 1: A Sense of Poise and Rationality

Summary: “What a beautiful wedding” says a bridesmaid to a waiter. “And, yes, but what a shame. What a shame . . . 

Nothing bad happens here, I promise.

A/N: The music swells, the curtain lifts. Ladies, gentlemen, and all configurations of being: the show has begun . . .

Titles here are from Panic! at the Disco’s “I Write Sins not Tragedies”.

Okay, so this one’s been a bear to write so this might be uploaded a couple chapters today and the rest over the next day or two.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Eric looked at himself in the mirror as Roman set the final touches on his hair. His dark hair had small braids with tiny beads designed to catch the sunlight. His suit was an off-white color and his wrists were decorated with intricate bangles that kept his nerves from activating his powers and setting things on fire.

Despite the suits and dresses and other formal attire all the heroes were still in their masks. Secrecy was still important and they knew the press would be nearby. The only exception would be Eric, who got glasses enchanted, courtesy of the Host, to protect his identity from anyone who shouldn’t know it.

“And voila!” Roman announced and did a little excited jump, spinning the chair marginally and holding up a mirror so that Eric could see the back of his head.

“Awww, you look so cute,” Patton told him.

“R-eally?” Eric ducked his head nervously.

“Positively radiant, my dear,” Roman boasted, his red dress swishing as he twirled. “Not an eye will be able to look away from you.”

Eric’s eyes widened fearfully.

“Nice going Princey,” Virgil spoke up from across the room.

“They’ll look in a good way,” Roman promised. “They’ll see you and realize that you are the most beautiful man in the world.”

“B-ut that’s Illy,” Eric managed to force out.

Roman paused to think on that, “Well I won’t deny that he’s obnoxiously good looking but now you can give him a run for his money.”

Randall walked in, “How we lookin’[1]?”

Twisting around the chair, Roman grinned as he motioned to Eric. “Marvel at this masterpiece. I dare say Da Vinci nor Monet could have done better.”

“Very handsome,” Randall told Eric, both childhood friends smiling at each other. “Just came from checkin’ on the other groom. We’re just waiting fer a final sweep ‘a the area to make sure it’s alright.”[2]

“Alright,” Eric said.

On the other side of the building, Illinois was fiddling with his bow tie as he checked his hair and suit in the mirror.

“How’s it looking?” Illinois asked, his eyes moving to look at his adopted brother in the mirror.

“Nothing is amiss,” the Host told him.

“Marv still isn’t back,” Chase reminded. “I don’t like it. I haven’t heard a peep from him.”

“The Host spoke with Marvin, he is on his way back to the city with the Blade and the Angel of Death,” the Host took a seat. “While they will be late for the ceremony, Illinois and the attendants will find that they will arrive just in time.”

“Okay,” Illinois took a deep breath. He didn’t touch his lucky coin, he wanted today to be a good day. A perfect day.

He’d been trying to play his safe for months to hoard as much magic as possible. No adventures. No fights. Not even a card game with his siblings.

Because Eric deserved nice things. He deserved to be happy and safe.

After a while Dark checked his pocket watch, and Illinois walked out with him and the Host. The blind seer headed on ahead to wait with the other groomsmen.

Dark waited at one end of a long rug that led to a big outdoor gazebo with a dark wood roof. Chairs led up to the gazebo and had wooden structures protecting it from any accidental rain or glare from the sun. A matching rug was one that Randall would lead Eric down. The two grooms would meet in the middle and then walk up to the altar where Jackie, who had taken the online classes needed to officiate marriages.

The Entity paused, waiting for the signal from the organ that Dark could start walking. But he looked over at Illinois. The young man was looking around, his hand reaching into his pocket and resisted trying to pull out his lucky coin.

In the demon’s mind he thought of little Illinois, barely at chest level, with wide eyes that hungered for adventure but a body too small to take him there.

Dark had never liked thinking about how big Illinois had gotten. It reminded him that Illinois would walk out of his life and become his own person. It’s just . . . it had all been so wonderful while it lasted.

Illinois looked over at Dark and smiled. “Hey, 아빠[3].”

“Illinois,” Dark answered, trying to keep Damien quiet and invisible. Dark had to keep his hands to himself and his feelings out of the way. This was all for Illinois. He took a second to take a deep breath and schooled his features. “I’ll have your portion of the city ready for when you get back.”

“What?” Illinois asked, mostly in confusion.

But then the music began and Dark was offering his elbow. Illinois took it and promised himself that when he could pull Dark away again they’d talk. He didn’t like the tone Dark had taken when he’d said that.

Illinois and Dark stepped in time to the music and all too soon he saw Eric, his hands gripping onto Randall’s arm. He almost tripped when his eyes met Illinois’s.

Then all too soon, they were within arms reach. Illinois reached out to take Eric’s arm and they walked up. To Illinois, Eric looked like an angel he’d somehow snagged out of the sky and convinced to stay with him.

They walked down the aisle and Illinois kept the pace slow so that Eric wouldn’t have a single problem walking down the aisle. Dark and Randall followed them up.

Everything was going perfectly.

Illinois and Eric were looking at each other and Jackie opened his mouth to start the ceremony, when someone else walked down the aisle.

“I’m here!” Someone in a red tux announced. A smile as sharp as glass. “Shame on you, Damien, I almost missed the whole thing.”

Everyone immediately looked at the Actor, Dark got in front of Illinois as the young man was trying to push Eric towards Jackie.

“Get out,” Dark snarled in a furious growl.

“You’d done your job, step aside,” Actor snapped out a dark mass of aura and batted Dark to the side, the Entity slamming into the organ and let out a pained cough.

“아빠!”[3] Illinois called out. Yancy, who was closer, immediately raced to Dark’s side but the Entity shoved him away from both him and the Actor.

“I will admit,” Marc smiled as he waltzed down the aisle, “I didn’t recognize you at first. That’s my bad. But I did try and talk to you, and it’s quite an oversight not to personally invite me.”

Dark pushed himself back up to a kneeling position, his ringing shrill and aura coiling around.

“I didn’t invite you because you’re a piece of shit and you just attacked my dad, so fuck off,” Illinois snarled. He started trying to move over to Dark but the Actor slid into his path.

“Not possible,” Actor smiled, gesturing to himself. “Daddy’s here now and we don’t need . . .”

Actor glared back at Dark, “. . . to be worried about extraneous characters.”

“Get the hell out of here, I don’t want you anywhere near my family,” Illinois snarled.

“Oh, junior,” Marc smiled. “I’m trying to help you. Think of it: father and son. We’d take the world by storm.”

Illinois felt fury, thinking off all the foster homes and awful situations he’d been in, “Even if you were, you can fuck right the fuck off!”

Behind the Actor, Ranboo was trying to inch closer to Dark. He’d been sitting with the rest of the heroes. But he was trying to quietly summon up a portal to get Dark away from the Actor but when he inched too close the Actor spun around and slammed his aura into the young teen, knocking him back.

“If I wanted to take on the peanut gallery, I would have called you up,” Actor snapped.

“Enderwalk!” Virgil called out and raced over to him as the teen slammed against the wall of the gazebo and let out a grunt of pain. Immediately the room seemed to snap out of whatever haze they were in and moved as Marc moved to attack Ranboo again. Tubbo was already the closest.

Ranboo braced for the attack to hit but in the nick of time, there was a shattering of glass and Techno emerged from one of the eye portals. Shield and axe in hand he deflected the shot and blew a hole in the roof of the gazebo.

“I’m gonna have to stop you right there,” Techno smiled. “Come on, kid, I saw you using a weapon before, come on.”

“Boo,” Tubbo moved in as Phil and Marvin raced in.

“Anyone dead yet?” Marvin demanded.

“Bout time yeh showed up,”[4] Chase spat, pulled out his gun, a real one and aimed it at the Actor’s head.

Snarling in anger, the Actor exploded into black mist, making Chase miss his shot and nicked Illinois right in the face by accident.

Actor grabbed Dark and stabbed him with a dragged he pulled out of his black mist. “I don’t like being teased, Dames.”

With a slice, Dark screamed and the Actor pulled out a black day planner. “If you want something done right you should just do it yourself.”

Magic began to swirl around the Actor as bubbles began to form. They swelled in size and began to fill the room.

Bing began to visibly freak out and used his nanites to push Mini and Oliver away with his nanites, throwing them outside the gazebo just as a bubble expanded to snap up the rest of the androids.

In an instant the city rumbled and Dark . . .

. . . . . .

Dark woke up in bed.

He glared at the faintly glowing clock on the distant wall. It was barely a half-hour before he had to get up so there was no point in going back to sleep.

He smiled faintly when he heard Wilford snoring, the man splayed out to Dark’s left. The softer snores were from Chase who was cuddled up into Dark’s chest.

With a smile softening his features Dark decided: maybe he could sleep in a few more minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Post A/N: . . . Okay I lied big time.

Accessibility Translations:

1. looking

2. Just came from checking on the other groom. We’re just waiting for a final sweep of the area to make sure it’s alright

3. Dad. Informal, read phonetically as: Appa.

4. About time you showed up

[shera-dnd]

And the first commission of the month is done! This was so much fun to write and was sincerely the silliest thing I've written in a long time. Hope you all enjoy this as much as I did.

It was a busy day around the atlesian crater, the hole left at the center of Mantle when Atlas took to the sky. All around SDC workers moved about, setting everything up for the big event. And at the center of this whirlwind of people walked two women caught in conversation.

“What I’m saying is that it would be good for both our images for the leader of the atlesian branch of the White Fang, and the head of the SDC to be seen in public together,” one woman argued, “you know, show the world that our organizations can work together to build a better future.”

“And what I’m saying, Ilia,” the second argued, “is that you don’t have to come up with an excuse for me to spend time with a friend.”

“So you’re not coming to the event with me because?” Ilia asked, earning herself an eye roll from her companion.

“Because someone has to keep everything from going up in flames,” she argued, “trust me, I’d want nothing more than to relax and enjoy some time with my friends, but I really need to keep an eye on things.”

“Seriously, Weiss?” Ilia asked, sounding more than a little annoyed, “is there no one you can trust to handle things for you?”

“Well, there is you,” Weiss mused, seeming not to notice Ilia’s quick shift through shades of pink, before settling back on her normal skin color, “but I guess that defeats the point. There is also Winter, but she’s already super busy.”

“You know what? I’m gonna figure something out,” she offered.

“Ilia, you really don’t have to.”

“I’m serious,” Ilia insisted, “you deserve a break. Let me sort things out for you.”

“Thank you,” Weiss replied, smiling at her as she pulled her into a hug, “no breaking anyone’s teeth though.”

Ilia once again went on a journey through every possible shade of pink, as she was held close. It took some focus to get her colors under control, and even more to formulate a reply.

“Hey, I only did that once!” She countered, her voice faltering for a moment.

Weiss pulled away from the hug and was about to snark back, when they were both interrupted by the sound of jets.

“Salutations!” Greeted the source of the noise. Jets of flame came out of her boots as she flew down to ground level, carrying a massive sound system on each shoulder. She gently placed both of those down, before posing proudly before the two women.

“Penny!” Weiss greeted back, walking up to talk to her, “thank you so much for the help.”

“Don’t mention it, Weiss,” Penny waved off, “you’re helping Mantle, after all, so the least I can do is help you too.”

Penny then pulled Weiss into a rib crushing hug, and over the sound of all the air leaving her lungs, Weiss could swear she heard an annoyed groan coming from Ilia. She really didn’t understand why she got like that whenever she saw them talking together.

The android eventually let Weiss go - something her lungs were grateful for - and picked up the sound systems again, “so where do you need these?”

“Over by the main tent,” Weiss informed. She waved her hand, causing a spectral knight in white armor to appear next to them, it picked up one of the sound systems from Penny and tossed it over its shoulder with ease, “and, please, let me help you.”

Ilia only tapped her foot impatiently for a moment, before adding, “I just remembered I had something to do, so I’m gonna get going now.”

“Oh, see you later then,” Weiss replied, too distracted to notice Penny playfully sticking her tongue out at Ilia, “sorry we couldn’t spend much time together.”

“It’s alright,” though Ilia was clearly talking to Weiss, she wasn’t looking at her, instead her eyes were locked onto Penny. Well...that was odd. Maybe she should ask her what that was about once they weren’t all so busy with the charity event.

With that, Weiss waved her goodbye and turned to walk Penny to where she was needed, her summon dutifully following at their side.

“Weiss, I had the most sensational idea for the charity event,” Penny commented as they walked together, “what if we auction off a little flyby through Mantle, on the arms of the Protector of Mantle herself?” She offers, pausing to flex so she can really sell her point. Not that she really had to, because Weiss loved the idea already.

“Penny, that’s perfect!” She cheered, “I already know so many people who would pay a fortune for a chance to get carried around by you.”

The android looked almost bashful at that comment, it was kinda cute, even though she was still holding a piece of equipment that weighted easily as much as her. “Maybe we can do a little demonstration flight. I can take you for a ride around town, so they know everything is safe.”

Weiss chuckled at that, “oh, don’t worry about it. You’re the Protector of Mantle, no one needs proof that they’ll be safe with you.’

“R-Right, of course,” she stammered, obviously just a sign that Penny still didn’t know how to handle this much positive attention, “so do you need me to carry anything else?”

~~~

Penny slumped onto a nearby bench, exhausted and defeated. Her many internal sensors reminded her that she was still at full aura and had enough battery life for another week before her next mandatory recharge. But it wasn’t physical exhaustion that wore her out, it was emotional.

Weiss was sweet, loving, kind, and also really damn pretty. Penny had been keenly aware of this from the moment she got accidentally tackled to the ground all those years ago. What had taken her a while to figure out was that what she felt towards her was more than just friendly affection, and by then she found out she had competition.

“No luck?” Ilia asked, she had been sitting on that bench for a while now, lazily staring off at the sky.

“No luck,” she sighed in agreement.

The worst realization was one that came far more recently. Weiss Schnee was completely oblivious to any and all romantic approaches.

Ilia groaned loudly and leaned forward, burying her face in her hands, “how can someone so smart be so fucking stupid?”

“I don’t know,” Penny answered, leaning against Ilia. She didn’t seem to mind, she knew physical contact was how the android recharged her emotional batteries, “but it’s kinda cute.”

Ilia shot her the most infuriated glare she could manage, reds and yellows spreading through her skin...before dying down once again, “I hate that you’re right.”

“So what now?” Penny asked, ignoring the glare as she continued to lean against her.

“What do you mean ‘what now’?” She asked, sounding completely baffled, “the game is still on, Polendina. I’m still gonna spend my night with her.”

Ilia’s burst of competitive energy seemed to be contagious, because suddenly Penny felt far more energized. She jumped up to her feet and declared, “it will be a shame then that I’ll have to interrupt it to take her on a romantic flight through Mantle.”

They held an intense staredown for all of thirty seconds, before the both of them burst out laughing. Wow, they really were getting competitive over a silly crush, huh? It was so silly, but it was surprisingly fun too. Neither of them would really resent the other for ‘winning’, and they knew that, but they enjoyed keeping up the act.

“Good luck, Penny.”

“Good luck, Ilia.”

~~~

It was strange walking through the headquarters of the SDC like this. Not running from security, not stalking through the dark, just calmly walking in to see a friend. Ilia just couldn’t get used to it. All those guards just put her on edge, even if all they did now was nod politely and ask if she needed anything.

“Miss Amitola,” greeted Weiss’s secretary, “Miss Schnee is in the middle of a meeting, but she should be able to see you shortly.”

“Thanks, I’ll just wait here then,” she replied, taking a seat right outside Weiss’s office.

Gods, that was so weird.

Thankfully she soon found something to distract herself from the awkward silence of the office building. Specifically the fact that the room didn’t stay silent for much longer, because Weiss’s office walls weren’t half as thick as they should be.

“I don’t care if some rich idiots are uncomfortable!” Came Weiss’s muffled shout through her office walls, “this is about helping the faunus community living in the crater! I am not closing off the event to them!”

There was a short moment of silence, as whoever she was talking to quietly defended themself.

“Then they can go and cancel!” She shouted again, “if they don’t like being around those in need, then I don’t want them at the event!”

Ilia tried not to laugh as she watched that idiot scamper off, leaving behind a trail of “sorry, ma’am”s, “of course, ma’am”s, on his way out. Was it bad that watching Weiss verbally eviscerate a man kinda made her crush on her even more? Maybe, but Ilia didn’t care.

Deciding not to question her taste in women, Ilia simply got up and held the door before it had the chance to close behind the man. “I take it you could use some good news,” she offered.

“Please,” Weiss asked, massaging her temples.

“So I was checking on what agents we had available around Solitas,” she explained, casually walking in and taking a seat, “and I think I found someone who can take care of things for you.”

“Look, I appreciate it, but I really don’t want to outsource my responsibilities like that,” Weiss argued, “besides, I’m not gonna trust this event to someone I don’t know.”

Ilia leaned back and shrugged, “I guess I’ll have to tell our favorite Belladonna to cancel it.”

“Wait!” Weiss said, nearly doing a double take, “Blake is here?”

“She just finished a mission in Argus, and was coming over here for a visit,” she answered, “I barely said a word about the event before she offered to help.”

“Of course she did,” she sighed, “she really needs to learn to take a break.”

“And you don’t?” Ilia asked.

“I’m fine,” she insisted, only earning herself a raised eyebrow, “I’m serious!”

“Schnee,” she called, leaning forward again, and looking Weiss dead in the eye, “you’re taking a break even if me, Blake, and Penny have to carry you out of this building ourselves.”

“Fine,” Weiss crossed her arms and groaned, sliding a little down her chair as she did.

“Was it that hard?” Ilia asked, thoroughly amused by this.

“Yes,” she answered.

“Shame,” Ilia had to laugh at that, “but how about you rest, relax, and enjoy the evening with me?”

“That… that does sound nice,” Weiss agreed.

Ilia smiled, looking far too pleased with herself, and got up.

“See you at the event then.”

Ilia had barely taken a step out of the office, when her favorite android stepped in.

“Hey, Wei--Oh, Ilia!” Penny greeted, looking confused for a moment, before realizing there was only one possible reason for the faunus to look so pleased.

This time it was Ilia’s turn to stick her tongue at her.

“Penny!” Weiss cheerfully called, as she stepped out to greet her, “what are you doing here?”

“Oh, well, dad made a little extra for lunch today, and I know you haven’t had anything home made in a while, so I thought you’d appreciate a little Polendina family recipe,” she explained, gesturing towards a bag she’d been holding.

“Oh thank you,” Weiss replied, taking the bag and giving Penny a quick kiss on the cheek, “I don’t know what’d I’d do without you two.”

Ilia was somewhat annoyed that she didn’t get any kisses for her whole plan, but she still had plenty of time to work on that, and besides she was the one who scored herself a date. So suck it, Polendina.

Oh speaking of which.

“I should probably get going. I gotta go welcome Blake once she gets here,” Ilia excused herself, before adding a pointed, “see you at the event later.”

“See you there,” Weiss replied, “and give Blake a hug for me.”

“Will do,” and with that she was off.

It didn’t take long for her to hear heavy metal steps catching up to her.

“Did she say yes?” Penny asked.

“She did,” Ilia answered, turning around to look at her, “ready to admit defeat?”

“Never!”

“Well, I’m the one with a date tonight, not you, so suck it tin can!” Ilia taunted.

And Penny let out a loud gasp, covering her mouth with her hand. “Ilia!”

Ah crap, did she cross a line?

“Shit, I didn’t mean it like that,” Ilia apologized in a panic, “I’m so sorry.”

Penny’s look of offense and horror quickly melted away into a fit of giggles. Oh she did not just do that just to mess with her! How dare she!?

“Oh, you little shit,” Ilia accused, but any menace in her tone was completely undermined by her skin shifting an embarrassed pink.

That stupid robot somehow thought that meant it was okay to give her a hug. It wasn’t, and her getting pinker didn’t mean shit.

The two gay idiots bickered for a little while longer, thinking it was just the two of them in the halls of the SDC, before taking their leave. But there was someone there, pearing just outside the office doors, watching this all unfold.

~~~

The event had finally begun. The Crater Community Charity Event, organized by the SDC for raising funds to help improve the infrastructure of the neighborhoods in and around the atlesian crater. Since those neighborhoods were majority faunus, the White Fang took particular interest in making sure the event went well, and that the charity was well funded. Which is why no one seemed surprised that the leader of the local branch was walking around like she owned the place.

Not that some of the rich bastards didn’t glare at her as she walked by, still mistrustful of her and her organization. But what were they gonna do? Kick her out? Those assholes barely had the guts to do more than glare, especially when she was accompanied by the woman running this event.

Weiss seemed to delight in that, the act of infuriating so many terrible people simply by enjoying herself, and knowing that these people could do nothing to stop her. It was a level of pettiness that Ilia couldn’t help but respect.

Though unfortunately the head of the SDC was far more perceptive to angry glares than she was to loving glances, or perhaps she would have noticed how Ilia had looked at her that entire evening. No matter, they were still enjoying their date, even if it was more a friend date between gal pals, than an actual romantic one.

“Hey, Weiss,” Ilia called, just loud enough that Weiss could hear it, but hopefully nobody else, “I really appreciate getting to spend time with you today.”

“Ilia, you’re my friend,” she answered, “you don’t have to thank me for something like that.”

Gods, this girl was oblivious.

“I’m serious,” she insisted, “it means a lot. I really do enjoy your company, and I...and I…”

Before she could find her words, a bright green light streaked across the sky above them and landed nearby. Oh, just what Ilia needed right now...

Weiss gasped, “the auction is about to start!”

And next thing Ilia knew she was getting dragged along through the crowd towards where several rich weirdos gathered. At the center of it all was Penny Polendina, posing like a superhero straight out of a comic, as Blake Belladonna announced the auction. The right to a flight through Mantle in her strong robot arms.

It didn’t take long for the bids to skyrocket higher than Penny herself could, as many rich idiots offered to pay exorbitant amounts of money for the right to get bridal carried through the sky. Well at least this was all going to faunus communities in need.

As more people made their bids Ilia noticed just how few of them were men. Most of the people willing to pay for that flight were women, some of them just for the thrill of the flight, some clearly sapphics, and some in even clearer denial. For a moment there, when they were deep in the five digit territory, it seemed like a member of team denial was about to get her win. An older rich woman, obviously displeased with her husband, and about a light breeze away from a proper gay awakening.

But she was denied that when Weiss shouted, “a hundred thousand lien!”

Ilia’s heart sank and the crowd went quiet. Lady Denial nudged her husband a few times and they seemed to have a quiet argument, before she resigned herself to her defeat. Well, at least Ilia wasn’t the one most disappointed by this turn of events.

“What are you doing!?” She hissed at Weiss.

“I’m winning you a date,” Weiss whispered back.

“You’re what!?”

“I saw you talking to Penny after you left the office, you don’t have to hide it, Ilia,” Weiss said, somehow thinking that explained anything.

“What!?”

“Come on, the moment she giggled you turned pinker than I’ve ever seen you,” Weiss continued, and Ilia was pretty sure she was about to pop a blood vessel, “and the way you’ve been looking at her all the time. You have the most obvious crush ever.”

So that’s how Ilia found herself being flown high over Mantle, in the arms of her romantic rival. The flight had been completely silent, neither really wanting to talk about this turn of events, or even acknowledge that it was happening. This was the stupidest way this night could have possibly gone.

“I think we should tell her,” Penny eventually said.

“Yes, yes we should,” Ilia was forced to agree.

~~~

“Weiss!” She heard Ilia call, along with the sound of Penny’s jets, “we need to talk!”

Weiss turned around right on time to catch Penny land and gently help Ilia stand.

“Well, you two are back early,” she commented, “did something happen?”

“Yes,” they both answered at the same time. Oh? That wasn’t a good sign.

“Weiss, we know you’re just trying to be a good friend,” Penny began, trying to soften the blow of Ilia’s clear annoyance.

“But this is really getting absurd,” Ilia continued.

Weiss blinked a few times, “I’m confused, what’s going on?”

Ilia and Penny looked at each other for a moment, they gestured a few times as if silently arguing over something, before Penny stepped forward.

“Ilia isn’t crushing on me,” she finally spoke, though she needed a deep breath before continuing, “she’s crushing on you, and so am I.”

“Excuse me!?” Weiss blurted, looking completely befuddled.

Ilia sighed and took this as her cue to step in, “we like you, damn it! We’ve been trying to tell you for ages, but we couldn’t get you to take a hint!”

“So all those times you’ve both been really insistent on helping me or spending time with me…”

“It was a display of romantic feelings, yes.” Penny answered with an energetic nod.

“And you guys kept staring at each other, and snarking…”

“It was us getting competitive,” Ilia explained, “playfully,” she added.

“Huh,” she responded, a tiny humorous smile forming on her face, as if she had finally understood the punchline to a joke, “so I take it you two expect me to choose one of you now?”

“That would be preferable,” Penny answered.

Weiss seemed to ponder for a moment, looking between the two of them as if she was weighing the pros and cons of each option.

“Both,” she declared.

“Both!?” They echoed.

“Yes, both.”

“Is that an option?” Penny asked, appearing very confused.

“If you’re both okay with that,” Weiss answered, with a tiny shrug.

“Oh, of course the privileged little Schnee would go and choose to have everything,” Ilia complained.

“Is that a no?” Weiss asked, sounding almost like a challenge.

“Of course it isn’t!” She yelled back, pinks shooting all over her hair as she walked up to her and took her hand.

Penny practically flew as she went to grab the other one, happily giggling the whole time.

Weiss smiled, kissed them both on the cheek, and walked back to the charity event with both girlfriends in hand.

[mlqcconfessions]

What if the MLQC boys had turned into kids? How will MC take care of them or how they will act towards her?

OH MY GOD I LIVE FOR THIS

Spoilers? I used the R karmas that are not released in the English server (Shaw’s was from a different event)

MLQC Headcanon - Who’s the Baby Now?

Victor

You thought Goldman was kidding when he said Victor became a child

It’s a little too late for April Fool’s, isn’t it?

Well, he was being quite literal

As soon as you walked into LFG, you could sense a change in the atmosphere (all the employees were whispering)

When you arrive at Victor’s office, you hesitantly knock

You figured he would open the door right away (like how he usually does)

But a few moments passed, and still no reply

“Victor? I’m coming in, okay?”

You gently open the door to see a mini-Victor in front of you, holding a stool in his tiny arms

“Oh. My. GOD!” (he’s so adorable!)

You’re about to scream those words, but he notices this and promptly grabs your sleeve

“Don’t you dare”

“Okay..!” (you don’t even care that he just glared at you)

A few minutes have passed, giving you time to collect yourself

You glance over at mini-Victor, who is looking over some documents to sign

Your eyes fall to the pile of blankets he’s sitting on (which Goldman had to bring over)

The desk was too high for him now, so he needed some elevation (you nearly died of uwu)

But that reminded you about the stool he was carrying

“Victor?”

“What is it (he doesn’t even look up from the papers)”

“What were you gonna do with that stool from earlier?”

He slightly freezes, then quickly resumes work like nothing happened

“I was...(you can see his eyes rolling for answers) rearranging furniture”

“At 9 AM?”

“......”

“Were you trying to reach the door handle?”

Because of Victor’s tall stature, the door to his office was higher than the others in the building

Naturally, that meant the handle was much higher

“.......”

You’re having such a hard time trying to contain yourself (does he even know how cute he’s being?)

--------------------

The rest of the day goes by without much difficulties

Because you had to go back to your company, the caring for Victor was in Goldman’s hands

He had to press the elevator button for him (his office was in the top floor, after all)

Once in a while, Goldman would text you updates of how Victor’s doing

He just finished today’s meeting. Everyone was distracted.

Complained about the coat rack being too high

He has to hold his phone with two hands now (you receive a photo of mini-Victor struggling to call using his huge phone). Later made use of speakerphone

--------------------

It’s the end of the day, and time to go home

Usually, Victor would pick you up on his car (he can’t drive if he looks 12 let alone even reach the wheel)

As you’re headed for the subway, you see a familiar black sedan pulling up to the front of your company

“Victor?” (you look at the driver’s seat, but it’s his chauffeur instead)

The window to the rear seat of the passenger’s side rolls down, and there he is in all his miniature glory

“Pfft...evening, Victor” (you can feel his glare on you, but that just makes him even more adorable)

You get in the car next to him, smiling all the way home

“If you’re tired, you can rest on my shoulder” (he’s still looking at some documents)

....you would have to turn your head 90 degrees if you want to rest on his shoulder

Kiro

When you first saw the commercial on TV, you thought BS Entertainment just hired a child actor

He looks just like Kiro!

Boy, were you wrong BIG TIME

Little did you know that it was Kiro, who turned into a child for unknown reasons

So when Savin asked begged you to come over and help, you thought he was overreacting (how much of a hassle would he be?)

BOY, WERE YOU WRONG BIG TIME

You enter his dressing room to find mini-Kiro running around, with Savin on his tails

“Eat my dust, Sav!”

Kiro was carrying a bowl of sweets, trying to avoid them being caught in the hands of his manager

Poor Savin was having such a hard time catching up to this mouse (seriously, are all kids this fast?)

Kiro spots you at the door, and his eyes lighten up

“MC!”

He hurls himself towards you (surprisingly, it doesn’t hurt at all)

Savin notices you too, and with a sigh of relief, hides the bowl of candy, and promptly sinks back in the sofa

“MC, look! Aren’t I adorable?” (he does a tiny turn to show you his full figure)

Indeed, he was more charming (not that he wasn’t before)

“Yep! You’re so cute, Kiro!” 

You now notice the sailor outfit he was wearing (honestly, this outfit was made for him)

“Oh, this (he tugs at the collars)? My stylist has a nephew, so I borrowed some of his clothes”

He takes you to the basket where his old clothes are

“My clothes are here!” (of course, none of them are folded neatly)

You sit down on the sofa, and start folding his clothes

Savin is still out cold

--------------------

Now Kiro still had some filming left to do, and he wasn’t going to let his mini-self get in the way

He executed the shoots so professionally, you would’ve thought he was just a genius child star

Because Kiro debuted at a young age, it was like seeing his first moments all over again

If anything, he was shining so brilliantly now (because he has you in his life)

He constantly comes over to you after each take for compliments

“MC, how was I?”

“Do you think I should hold this higher?”

“MC, what do you think about this pose?”

You felt like a proud mother

--------------------

You had to help him carry the bags of snacks and candy to his house

You lost count of the people who kept giving him stuff

It made you wonder how long this mini-thing will last

Not that you were complaining, or anything

It’s just that Kiro would have a hard time with work if he was so small like this

“I’ll just take a break from work, then!”

Kiro, sweetie, you can’t just say things like that (you’ll give Savin a heart attack)

“But that means I’ll get to spend more time with you, MC!”

He gives you a baby bear hug (you instinctively hug him back)

Yeah...what Savin doesn’t know won’t hurt him

Lucien

You were one of the many students waiting for Lucien’s class

But he was a little late, which was quite a shock (he’s never been late to his lectures ever)

Did something happen?

You were about to call Lucien’s number when you heard familiar footsteps (they seemed a bit light, though)

Soon after, the hall doors creaked open and your worries were put to rest

At least, they were for like 2 seconds

Everyone in the entire room gasped, as a young child casually walked in

“Is...is that”

“I..I think so....but”

“What do we do....”

Lucien, as if he’s completely unaware of the fact that he’s TINY, nonchalantly sets down his belongings and grabbed some chalk

“Apologies for being late, class. Something minor had come up this morning”

It didn’t look like something minor (was on everybody’s mind)

Nevertheless, class began like usual

Soon everyone was getting used to a mini-Lucien teaching the class

But some completely lost it when he had to use a step-stool to write on the higher parts of the blackboard

They had to be dragged out of the room for excessive UWUs

Some were already in the nurse’s office (because they saw Lucien with his lab coat dragging on the floor)

You were still in the hall, but could NOT pay attention to anything he was saying

Your mind must’ve been playing tricks on you (because of how disorienting everything was)

Maybe he’s not Lucien, and is just a distant relative

As you were zoning out, Lucien catches this and shows a playful smile

“Miss MC, I assume you are understanding this material very well?”

The entire room (or those that are left, anyway) glances at you

“No...no professor....” (you hide your face in your arms)

Oh he’s Lucien, alright

--------------------

He asked you to stay behind for a bit after the lecture

Everyone gave you a pitiful look (some even pat you on the back)

Lucien was busy gathering his materials, neatly organizing them into his briefcase

You helped by erasing the blackboard for him (your knees nearly gave out when you saw the little step-stool)

“Are you not curious?”

“Huh, what? (you were zoning out again) About what?”

“About why I’ve become younger like this”

It certainly has crossed your mind, but you figured there was a mishap with one of his experiments

“Hmm...yes, but....”

He looks at you inquisitively

“But....?”

“As long as you’re not having any difficulties, I don’t mind”

He’s a little surprised after hearing this, but immediately goes back to his usual smile

He grabs the step-stool to get just below your eye level, noses nearly touching

“What if I say that I am?”

Please, it’s only 11 AM right now

Gavin

You heard a thud coming from upstairs, where Gavin should be resting after returning from a mission late last night

“Gavin?”

You don’t hear anything, so you go upstairs to check

“Gavin, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

After a pause, you hear his voice on the other side of the door

“Y-yeah, I’m fine”

He didn’t really sound fine (was his voice usually this high?)

“I’m opening the door, Gavin”

“No! Wai-”

Too late, you already opened the door and found him slumped on the ground

“Ga...Gavin...? (you couldn’t believe your eyes at the sight in front of you) Is that you?”

Clothes barely hanging onto his now-shrunken figure, Gavin stares at you awkwardly

“Yeah....but...”

“You...you’re small”

“Yeah...”

“And you don’t know why?”

“.....yeah”

Neither of you say anything as a slight breeze enters the room, as if it’s trying to fill the void of silence

Your eyes go to the oversized clothes he was wearing

It was cute, but definitely not efficient

“Well, let me go to the store and buy some clothes for you”

“I’ll go with you” (honey, in that state?)

“No, it’s just around the block. I’ll be fine, Gavin”

He looks a little let down (his hair is covering his amber eyes, which are brighter than usual)

“Why don’t you retrace your steps while I’m gone? Maybe you can figure why this happened to you”

“...alright”

“And Gavin?” (he looks up at you)

Snap

“You look adorable, by the way” (his face gets so red)

--------------------

As expected, you had a great sense in style

He looks so cute in that jersey you bought for him

It’s a little big on him, but still much more manageable than his old clothes

He had to wait until you were done taking pictures of him

He felt embarrassed, but still cooperated with you (you’ve never been so ecstatic lately, and he didn’t want to ruin that for you)

As you were saving the photos to your hard drive, he glances at the window

“MC?”

“Yeah? (you were too busy looking at the photos)”

“How about we spend some time outside today?”

You’re surprised at his suggestion (I thought he would prefer staying inside)

“Are you sure? It’s your only rest day for this month”

As if to reassure you, he gives you a beautiful smile while grabbing your hand

“I’m positive”

He tries to help you get up, but ends up falling into your embrace instead

You laugh while his face gets red again (you wrap your arms around him, not letting him escape)

“Gavin?”

“...........what”

“You’re so adorable”

“......(he’s hiding his face) please stop”

You can feel the wind rustling up outside

The balcony windows were open, so the leaves were carried into the apartment

You ended up canceling your date outside to clean up the mess 

You never let him forget this day

Shaw

Alleyway. Now.

This was all you saw on a pleasant Saturday morning, and you were a bit annoyed that your precious rest was disturbed (work was pretty tiring these last few days)

But you knew that if you didn’t go, that would be more tiring to deal with

You quickly get ready and head to the alleyway

He didn’t even need to mention which one, because there was only 1 alleyway that mattered to you both

You expected to see him there, back pressed against the brick wall like usual

Instead, you find a group of people huddled together in a group

“Are you okay? Are you lost?”

“Do you need any help?”

“Did you get separated from your parents?”

To your surprise, you see a little boy in the middle of the circle, arms crossed over (he looks irritated)

You want to go over and see what was happening, but your view is blocked (if only you were a bit taller...)

But you’re here for Shaw anyways, so you hurriedly try to look for him

You take out your phone to call him, but as you turn your body, your eyes lock with the boy from before

?? He looks a little familiar....

His expression becomes even more irritated as he pushes his way out (he’s walking towards you?!)

He grabs your hand and drags you out of the alleyway, sighing in annoyance

“Ah! Wai-”

“You’re late”

You can recognize this voice quite easily

After all, it was drilled into your head for these many years

“Shaw?!”

--------------------

So neither of you could figure out why he suddenly turned in to a mini-Shaw

But he wasn’t complaining

Not. One. Bit.

He made you carry him on your back as punishment for making him wait today

Only when he was satisfied, you could let him down

You’re sitting at a park bench while waiting for him to come back with food

He told you to sit tight and not run off (you’re the child in this relationship, smh)

Shaw comes running back with loads of delicious snacks in his arms, his hair rummaging past in the wind

He was younger than you anyways, but now he just looks the part

Actually, it was pretty adorable (but if you say this to him he would just give a smug smirk)

“Guess what I have?” (he places everything on the bench, with little room left over)

“How did you pay for all this?”

“I didn’t (he looks so proud right now). Luckily for you, your boyfriend is irresistible at all ages”

“So you’re telling me that you charmed the street vendors to give you food for free?” (you can’t believe you’re actually saying this)

“And you think that’s a problem? Didn’t you hear me?”

He’s standing on the bench with his chest pulled out, arms crossed

“Listen, I didn’t steal. They GAVE it to me. MC, you really need to learn how to do business around here”

You smack your forehead as your headache starts coming back again

You decide that your words have no effect on this guy, and plop back on the bench (he’s begun to chow down on some snacks)

You casually wipe his lips as he gets food on it, not thinking too much about the situation

His face goes red as he pulls back, covering his mouth with the back of his hand

He sat a little further away from you after that

UGH

This was so much to write (but so worth it)

Thank you so much to @snipersiniora​ for requesting this prompt!

[matthiasschoenaertsdaily]

Matthias Schoenaerts full interview for De Morgen Magazine (original in Flemish, translated into English by @matthiasschoenaertsdaily​)

Interview by Els Maes, published on November 28, 2020

Even a global pandemic will not destroy the optimism of actor Matthias Schoenaerts (42). Because he knows from his own experience how much beauty can emerge from the most hopeless situations. "I've had my back against the wall often enough, I'll always find a way out."

A bleak autumn day on a concrete square. There is lukewarm coffee, lukewarm Chimay and rolling tobacco. At dusk we see the silhouettes of fat rats that shoot past our ankles. And yet Matthias Schoenaerts will tell us in a glowing argument that this, here and now, is the very best place to be. That there is so much beauty to discover, he says. Le paradis c'est ici. As long as we want to see it.

"It's strange to say in this unpleasant period, but I've enjoyed the past few months enormously. It's the first time in ten years, since Runskop actually, that I'll be home for a long period of time. This is so beneficial: I am photographing, painting, writing. I can devote time and attention to the very simple things we'd otherwise race past."

"Seriously, look at that," he says, picking a leaf off the ground. "Those colors, that pattern. I can spend hours looking at the pure beauty of the things that surround us."

Above us a pigeon is wreaking havoc between the thinned out foliage. "While you are singing about the wonderful beauty of nature, that animal is going to shit on our heads," I say. "And that too will be a s-p-l-e-n-d-i-d moment," Schoenaerts answers.

Matthias Schoenaerts is Belgium's most successful international film star. But here and now, on a bench in his hometown, he is a technically unemployed actor, an all-round searching artist, but above all: fighter of cynicism. "I refuse to go along with all negativity and fear. The true battle today is cynicism versus courage. And I always choose the latter."

We're on the Oudevaartplaats, the square that everyone knows as the Antwerp Bird Market, and where Schoenaerts' childhood memories are waiting to be picked up. It comes into the conversation just like that: Brando, the cute chow chow that little Matthias got from his mom on this square, when here on the bird market puppies were still sold. "My dogs were my great loves. The home situation was often difficult, and with my dogs I found security. We had three chow chows, those fluffy lion dogs with a blue tongue. Brando was the first, I loved that animal."

"We lived in a small apartment with three dogs, anything but ideal. One day we let them go, to people with a large estate. That was heartbreaking."

There is a beautiful lesson in that, about love and letting go. It would have been selfish to keep your dogs if you could give them a nicer life elsewhere, wouldn't it?

"Absolutely, but I obviously didn't process that departure properly. Brando still appears in my dreams, after all these years. Then he returns home unexpectedly, and am I mad with joy.

"I often dream about my parents too: that reunion is so intensely beautiful and warm. Oh, there you are, finally! Those dreams are true to life, and the awakening is rock-hard."

Is that one of the reasons why you like being here in Antwerp, because here you feel more connected to the people that you loved?

"This is my home, my zero, I can't imagine a place in the world where I would rather live. When my mom was alive, and especially when she got sick, in between filming I tried to be with her as much as possible here in Antwerp. In the meantime I have an apartment here, my first permanent place of my own, but I've hardly been there in recent years. Now I can finally enjoy my home, I find peace, tranquility and inspiration there. I have seen fantastic sunsets on my roof terrace in recent months. So much beauty, and you can just admire it there, every day, for free. As long as you take the time to enjoy it.

"Normally I would have started filming again in April, and left for a hectic ride of at least two years, with projects that would follow each other quickly. I was at my limits, sooner or later I was going to bang my head against the wall. I feel how beneficial it is to slow down for a moment. David Lynch said that: 'Just slow things down and it becomes more beautiful'.

"As an actor you have to work in a big machine, according to a tight schedule. I have now discovered the pleasure of creating things for myself very spontaneously in my own cadence."

Is that work something you ever want to go public with?

"I want to do something with my photography someday, but I'm in no hurry. I'm also writing a film script, I've had an idea for a trilogy for a long time. It's a very personal project, and it takes time for it to crystallize into something very pure and proper. Maybe those films will come within ten years, maybe never.

"The most important thing is to keep busy. You have to look for something, anything, on which you can focus your passion, love and attention. Of course I would like to return to set, and those projects will come back later. But if I can't change anything about a situation, why worry about it?

"From a very young age I learned that there are not many certainties in life, I adapt easily to unexpected circumstances. There is one thing I can't stand, and that is feeling powerless. I never want to be the victim of a situation, I will always think: what can I do myself? Which way can I go? I have often enough stood with my back against the wall, I will always find a way out and take matters into my own hands."

So Schoenaerts decided to use this period to put Zenith - his artist name as a street artist - to hard work. Since the lockdown he has already created nine impressive murals, including one in the courtyard of the Oudenaarde prison, and one at the beginning of this month in the Antwerp Begijnenstraat, on the bare walls that form their furthest horizon for the prisoners. A moving event, he says. Not only by the touching conversations with inmates, and the forty-minute applause with which the prisoners welcomed him. "The mural contains a poem by my father. While I am there painting those beautiful words of my dad on the wall, I suddenly remember that my mom used to give meditation lessons to the prisoners there in the Begijnenstraat. I had completely forgotten about that until I stood there. How beautiful that is. Suddenly I felt my parents very tangible, very close to me."

It's a bit funny: a long time ago you were arrested for graffiti, now they invite you to prison to make a mural.

"I used to tag a lot, but I really don't like the vandalism that sometimes comes with graffiti. Defacing a facade, that's just ridiculous. But trains, bridges, tunnels.... frankly I think that's the max. Soon I'm going to do another oldskool graffiti wall, with some friends, back to the roots. But with permission, yes."

Scary dudes

The problems of the Belgian detention system are well known: outdated infrastructure, overcrowding and a system of pre-trial detention which means that some people are innocently stuck for years. Schoenaerts: "These are human lives that are destroyed by the Belgian state, isn't that scandalous?"

Schoenaerts' engagement started years ago, after meeting Hans Claus, prison director in Oudenaarde, who contacted him when he wanted to organize a screening of Le Fidèle, the film by Michaël R. Roskam starring Schoenaerts. Claus has been fighting for many years for a reform of our detention system, among others with the non-profit organization De Huizen, small-scale centers that are more focused on rehabilitation and reintegration of the detainee. How does Schoenaerts see his role? "Those murals are a kind of lubricant for me, to get attention for this problem. I am not the expert and I am certainly not a politician. This injustice touches me as a human being, and my message is clear: please listen to the people who have been working hard for decades to reform the system from the inside."

In The Mustang, your last feature film to be seen here before the lockdown, you take on the role of a prisoner who learns to tame wild horses and his demons. Has that role changed your vision?

"That rehabilitation program with mustangs really exists, and the chance of recidivism is almost zero percent. I had a conversation in the Begijnenstraat with the minister of Justice Vincent Van Quickenborne (Open Vld, ed.), and he told me that the chance of relapse here is 40 to 50 percent. Isn't that madness?

"That's what fascinates me most of all: what do we do with those detainees while they're stuck? How can we help to break the destructive patterns that put them in prison? Imprisonment is a punishment in itself, but someday we'll send those people back into society, so let's mainly support them in their self-development.

"In preparation for The Mustang, I visited prisons in the U.S., and talked to men who had been detained for 20, 30 years. Heavy guys: Aryan Brotherhood (powerful crime syndicate of neo-Nazis in American prisons, ed.), Mexican gang leaders... real scary dudes. You know what those say to me? That they live in fear every day, but they must not show weakness. Psychological counseling and things like that have their value, but that's often very cerebral. I especially believe in the healing power of art. Imagine that inmates can express all those fucked up emotions through art: I think that there is an enormous potential in this."

I heard you're playing with the idea of giving acting lessons to inmates?

"That's not a concrete plan yet, but I would love it if people from the creative sector would commit themselves to this: musicians, sculptors, dancers. Or writers who help prisoners put their own story into words.

"The cultural sector needs to start sticking its neck out. The sector is lying flat, and that's terrible. But we have to keep moving. We can all do something for the community, without being paid for it. Planting small seeds, doing something good for your fellow man, something beautiful always comes out of it."

Had you been to a prison before The Mustang?

"To visit friends, yes. In Merksplas, Hoogstraten, Hasselt, Dendermonde... We shouldn't talk about that any further. A prison is deep tristesse. Who dares to call that 'a hotel', shame on you."

This summer you painted an impressive mural in Paris in honor of George Floyd, murdered by American officers. And in Ostend last week a new mural was unveiled, with a 'decapitated' Leopold II. Is activism an important part of your street art?

"Graffiti used to be more of a style exercise for me, you want to create things that get noticed within the scene. But gradually I felt like communicating with a wider audience. I like to incorporate a lot of symbolism in my paintings, such as the cracks I photograph all over the world and then magnify them in another place. And the praying hands, a universal image of hope and faith in yourself. Art has the power to speak to our deepest emotions, and that is what binds us to the other. Connectedness, empathy, harmony, solidarity, that's the essence for me."

The corona crisis is one big exercise in empathy and solidarity. Sometimes we seem to lack that.

"I refuse to surrender to cynicism, and I surround myself with positive people who do beautiful things for others. This period would lead us to insights: how do we deal with each other? Do we help each other, or is it every man for himself? A human is such a wonderful creature, but we mess it up so much for ourselves.

"Yeah, I know. Some people who read this will think: this guy is smoking too many joints. (laughs) I don't smoke joints, and I'm not an unworldly idealist. But I will always focus my attention on the good, in spite of everything."

If you always want to see the good in people, are you sometimes disappointed?

"Yes, of course. I'm not a naive brat, I've learned to guard my boundaries. I can't please everyone all the time, and I don't let anyone rush me. I react badly when people put pressure on me because they want things from me. The perception of me that others have of me, I can't control. I don't let myself put out of balance easily anymore."

I saw that on your Instagram Stories you warned about fake profiles on social media, of people pretending to be you. That made you visibly angry.

"Really, that makes me angry. Every day I receive screenshots from people who have been tricked by crooks who approach innocent victims with my name and my pictures. There are stories of fans who have paid thousands of euros because they were promised a meet-and-greet with me. How disgusting is that? One person has transferred 14,000 euros to someone who pretended to be my manager.

"Of course, that raises questions about how gullible some people can be. But I've seen those chat conversations for myself: those criminals are terribly sneaky. They know how to play on the vulnerabilities of their victims in a very cunning way. This is manipulation and swindle of the filthiest kind.

"Really, I get physically unwell when I think about it. How can someone be so mean? If I ever catch these guys, I'm gonna bash their skulls in, I'm not kidding. Sorry."

Or: those crooks get a jail sentence, where you're going to give them acting lessons.

(laughs) "Okay, let it be clear that I think everyone should be punished for their crimes. My commitment to the prison system is not a plea for impunity, and I certainly don't want to romanticize crime.

"But when someone abuses innocent people's trust in such a cunning way, the question is: how did you derail so morally? And above all: how can we initiate a transformation in that person? Surely you can't lock someone up and expect that person to suddenly make better choices years later? First such a person has to take responsibility for his own actions."

Do you have something criminal on your conscience?

"No." (Thinks for a second) "No. Thank God. I couldn't live with that.

"I've probably hurt people in my life, like everybody else. Sometimes we just hurt people because of who we are, or because we can't fulfill what others want from us. But I have never harmed anyone consciously or criminally, no."

As a teenager you sometimes came into contact with the juvenile court, for vandalism. Do you think you could have ended up on the other side of the bars?

"Probably, a life can take strange turns sometimes."

What made you sit here today, and not get on the 'wrong' path?

"Wait... that's a good question. There's the one terrible dramatic event that caused a total turnaround in my life: when my dad went into a coma after a psychosis, and I was told he only had 24 hours left to live.

"I was 21 then, thrown out of school for the umpteenth time. I was doing graffiti and wanted to find my way creatively. But I was messing around, going with friends who... Anyway, there was latent danger, it threatened to go a little bit the wrong way.

"And then I got that phone call: come and say goodbye. Bam. The relationship with my father had been sour for years, we hardly saw each other. Until I stood there at his deathbed in intensive care... I only felt love, a wave of emotions that I had pushed down very deeply. That realization was rock-hard: this was it. My father and I will never get the chance to figure shit out, I thought.

"Long story, the rest is known: after 72 hours my father woke up from a coma against all odds. Like a plant: he could not speak, reacted to nothing or nobody. According to the chief psychiatrist, we had to accept that his condition would never improve. That was without the fighting spirit of my mother and me.

"It's because of that unlikely event that I've changed my whole lifestyle. For eight months, my mother and I went to visit my father every day. We talked to him, but he seemed to look straight through us. For hours we sat with him at the psychiatry department of Stuivenberg, how desperate those first months were also. We continued to fight, taught him to talk, to eat, to walk. A miracle, the doctors called it. Bullshit of course. It was love, dedication and stubbornness. Especially thanks to my mother, the lioness who kept fighting for him. And see how much beauty came out of it. My life then received an entirely different impulse.

"I suddenly think of an anecdote I've never told before. After a while we were allowed to take my father to the cafeteria once in a while, or to the garden. But he was absolutely not allowed to leave the hospital. Fuck it. I hid a bag of clothes for him, secretly dressed him in the toilet and took my father to the city. By bus, because I didn't have a driver's license. I wanted to stimulate his senses, test if any memories would come back. He was fond of Our Lady's Cathedral, so that's where I wanted to take him."

Matthiaske, why am I crying?

He plays it out. The written version here is only a dead script compared to the lived-through performance, right there on that dark square, just around the corner of the Arenbergschouwburg, where Matthias made his stage debut as a 9-year-old boy next to father Julien, as The Little Prince.

Matthias shows how he supported his frail dad, and how they shuffled in small, careful steps towards the cathedral. Dad looking at the ground to be sure not to fall. "I say, 'Dad, look up'. He looks up, and I see the tears rolling down his cheeks. I had never seen my father cry. 'Matthiaske,' he says, 'can you tell me why I'm crying?'

"I had already decided then that I would take my father into my house. Overconfident, yes, at that age, but they have become the most beautiful years of my life. Mom came by every day to help. Suddenly we were a bit of a family again, something we had only been for a short time when I was young."

It was at that time that you decided to become an actor. Why did you decide to become an actor?

"I had always resisted following in my father's footsteps. In my youth I mainly wanted to break away from my father, and seek my own path. I didn't want to have anything to do with him and all those loudmouths around him in the theater world. But most of all I was terrified that compared to the great Julien Schoenaerts I would never be good enough.

"Only now do I understand why I then decided to go to the conservatory. Not to become an actor, but to understand my father. We had so many years together, and now that we had been given a second chance, I wanted to get to know him as well as possible. By acting, maybe I could get closer to him." (pauses)

Sentimental fuss

He banishes the tears. It's one of the many things he has in common with his father, he says: they're both very emotional, but they hate sentimental fuss. "Come on, Matthias: breathe," he commands himself.

"Voilà, see how much beauty can come out of misery. What a chain of beautiful things came out of the fight my mother and I put up in the most hopeless situation. Who knows how differently my life would have turned out?"

"There are so many lessons in that. If we just talked about the rehabilitation of detainees, for example. It takes commitment. Not a workshop of two hours. You have to persevere, even in the event of a setback, with no guarantee of a happy ending. That's why I think it's so important to keep telling that story about my dad. Those are the values I believe in: dedication, stamina, attention, love. You can apply that to everything in life. Love is the fuel."

You often talk about your parents as if you want to keep them alive with your words.

"Because my mom and dad are the people I've loved most. With them I shared the most important moments, built the most beautiful memories. That loss is enormous. Life has been really fucking tough since they've been gone.

"That's what grabs me so much in this period. How many people have died of corona in Belgium?"

According to Google, today, on the day of the interview, the counter stands at almost 14,000 deaths.

"Fourteen thousand! Imagine how many people that has an impact on? How many people have suddenly lost their mother, father, brother, sister, best friend or neighbor? Behind those figures lie tens of thousands of poignant stories, of people who see a loved one torn from their lives. That is a mountain of unresolved grief, and far too little attention is paid to it."

Earlier during our conversation a guy had walked past coughing and maskless. It pissed Schoenaerts off: "And whining about masks or strict measures. Grow some fucking balls. Having to say goodbye to a loved one, that's the worst thing."

"Isn't that what this period teaches us? That our time here is limited? And what really counts in life: sharing moments of beauty with the people you hold most dear. All the rest is wallpaper. Having success, making movies, that's all fun. But the day you lie on your deathbed, you really don't think about the professional successes on your resume. No way."

[sketch--booked]

It's 6am, I just woke up from another dream--

--about Echo returning.

And it's another island adventure dream but FAR MORE OOOHHH OKAY THAN OWWIE OH NO. It had the same energy as Nya trying to figure out who Samurai X was. And Echo was not a villain this time.

Actually the dream had the S14 guy as the villain, the one with the mask, spoilers.

It started with a fight between masked man, who's name I neglect to remember, and the ninja. They barely even get a chance to fight him before someone in a hodded cape swoops in and kicks him clean off his thone/podeum. They guy lands poorly and his leg gets messed up but continues fighting while the ninja just s t a r e at them.

The ninja only make a real reaction when they see the mystery man use the element of wind, and they're all utterly bewildered.

The mystery man can't hold them all off and is knocked far into the forest, presumably dead considering how far he went, and the rest of the ninja are separated into groups (Kai and Cole, Nya and Zane, Jay and Lloyd with Wu and Misako).

It followed Kai and Cole mostly, just discussing the possibility of two elemental masters of wind (they recalled Krux and Acronix) and that this guy could be dangerous. While they're talking, they bump into the motionless body of that cloaked person and Kai literally nearly pukes. Cole manages to get close to the guy and with prompting from Kai, pulls back the hood to see, not a man, but a nindroid! And a nindroid that looked eerily like Zane.

.

That's when it cut to Lloyd and Jay, they're talking with Wu and Misako about the mystery man, and this is where Wu info dumps that, after an elemental master passes without any heirs, the elements will take an unknown amount of time to present itself in a new host. It depends on that persons destiny and whether or not they're fit to use it and yada yada.

Lloyd understands that this would mean morro would no longer be the elemental master of wind, since after the DotD, he legit died and is gone for good. Which resulted in the element passing on. Wu comments that this is the fastest he'd seen an element passing on and presenting itself, and says that whoever this person is, must have been picked for a very good reason.

Jay then starts making a ridiculous list of people that he thinks could be the new master of wind, despite Wu telling him the probability of Jay knowing this master, is near impossible (Jay gets a kick outta this r e a l soon).

.

Then we hop back to Cole and Kai, who are freaking out over the rusty version of their friend who somehow has elemental powers too??

Kai says they should leave him here, saying it could be an evil nindroid, since they were also based off of Zane's prints. Cole argues and says they should take him back for questioning, and that Cole would be very happy to carry him.

While they're arguing, the fake Zane starts to wake up, and in a comedic way, screams at Cole and Kai, who in turn also start screaming. The mystery nindroid awkwardly chuckles and remarks that this was not particularly how he wanted to introduce himself, but anything works...

Kai and Cole begin questioning him and he answers their questions, starting with his name, telling them his name was Zane, but upon seeing their reactions, he says they can call him Echo.

Echo tells them they need to get into shelter, since at night, the island becomes unbearable and deadly. Kai and Cole reluctantly follow, continuing to ask questions while the three of them walk away, Echo limping from his earlier fight.

.

"Why are you on a random island?" Kai asked

"My raft washed up in a lightning storm." Echo replied.

"So did Julien build you too?" Cole continued.

"Yes, I would reluctantly say he is, in essence, my Father"

"Reluctantly?"

Echo did not answer.

Cole broke the silence "Where did you come from?"

"There is a lighthouse, in the-"

"-middle of the ocean between ninjago and the dark islands. You were there?" Kai interrupts.

"You know of the lighthouse? You were there?" Echo wondered "How come you did not know of my presence?"

"Your father never said anything, neither did Zane." Cole answered his question, giving the earth ninja even more of his own.

"Oh, no. My brother would not know of me, I was built in the lighthouse, not--wherever he was built" Echo confirmed "How did you get past the leviathan?"

"Zane swam to the chains and broke them with those star thingys" kai shivered, recalling those star shaped demons--

"Oh, you mean the Starteeth!" Echo begins laughing lightly "You know, one time, a bunch of them washed up and ate through the window in the basement. The basement was flodded and made me all rusty. I couldn't move for a week!" He walked slightly ahead while laughing hard.

He suddenly stopped laughing and looked serious "Looking back on it now, it was probably not funny."

Kai and Cole shared a look before Cole jumped up, realising something, and whispered close to Kai.

"Hold on a second, we completely forgot about his powers!"

"Oohhh, you're right! Hold on, I'll ask 'em."

Cole was going to pull him back to explain how shouldn't just--ask--but Kai had already begun running to catch up.

"So how did you end up an elemental master?"

"An ele-mento-who-what?" Echo fumbled his words.

"An elemental master? Y'know, with the crazy wind powers."

Cole was ready to punch Kai out, the man couldn't be subtle to save his life, which it just might right now.

"Oh! Honestly, Red, I have no idea." Echo had called Kai, Red, as the other two masters had not given their names. "I just remember the lighthouse getting nearly blown into the sea after weeks of strong winds. I had not realised the strong winds were the cause of my emotions. It was--new and scary. Gizmo was there to help me."

"The little cleaning robot? You brought that little guy with you too?" Cole caught up with Kai and the second wind master.

"Of course, he is my only friend! I would not abandon him the way I was. That is too cruel of a punishment for any being, organic or metallic." Echo yelled, a breeze shook the trees. Cole stayed quiet, but silently apologised to the nindroid.

Their questions were ended as they came across a half-cave-half-hut-like shelter. Where the settled and only prayed for their respective brothers.

.

There was a lot more small talk in the dream but I cut it down to the funnier and more important parts.

The next bits of the dream is fuzzy, but I know it revolves around the ninja reuniting and accepting the mystery person into their group while they defeat the evil and escape the island.

Kai and Cole agree to Echo's pleas to not tell Zane for the time being, as he doesn't want Zane to see his brother for the first time looking like--how he looks.

Each of them get some interactions with Echo, with his identity hidden, remaining mute as to not throw them off with his voice. He even has an interaction with Zane where Zane politely asks Echo not to keep staring at him, as he's been doing that since they came together. Zane pegs his curiosity to "he's never seen a nindroid before" and Echo confirms that for him. (unknowing the truuuuth aaaaa)

I'll write Jay's interaction with Echo another time maybe, and how he figures it out, since hoooo boy it hurt. Echo didn't remember Skybound so Jay's just mentally torturing himself for the rest of the journey.

The ninja that find out its Echo is Nya, Jay, Cole and Kai.

.

I'm gonna jump to the end, because my dream also jumped to the end? Rip. But the end what what gave me the Nya and new Samurai X vibes, but less fighting and more chill chat.

.

.

He was on a real boat. Not a makeshift raft constructed out of his father's old bed, table, chairs and shelves, not pushed forward by his newly explained "elemental powers". A real boat, one that would take him away from tiny islands that kept him prisoner, away from the existential dread of loneliness. He'd be free. Free from fearing his last day would be solitary and sad. In one day alone, he'd made a literal boat load of friends. They wouldn't abandon him, not as his father once did.

He was happy, he felt really, truly happy. But he didn't smile. Yes he had friends, but what he wanted more than anything else, was his brother. He was right here on the boat, but Echo's own worries about how his brother would perceive him, how his brother would react to seeing him in such a state (Upon first meeting too! Talk about first impressions), persuaded him to otherwise say nothing.

Deep down, Echo knew he had nothing to fear, he'd heard stories from his father, before he'd locked him away, about Zane and about what it was like--just the two of them. Happy. And from what Echo had seen, Zane was more that strong. Not just physically, nindroid and all, but mentally and emotionally. Echo only wished he had that confidence, the ability to say nothing but be so loud at the same time.

It would make talking to him a lot easier, if he had to say so himself.

Echo, however, had his thoughts interrupted by the sound of footsteps he hadn't even registered, and a soft, yet firm, hand on his shoulder. He tensed just slightly, preparing himself to pull his hood down further.

"It's nice, is it not?" That voice, it was Echo's voice. No, Echo had his voice. His brother was standing right next to him. So close and yet so far, just one swipe of his hood would bring them together, finally. But he resigned himself to simply nod in response. He hadn't come this far to give up now.

A comfortable silence covered the two like a thin layer of snow, fitting considering who was standing next to him. It would almost make him laugh.

"You fought well, out there," Zane started, Echo had thought he was done and nodded again, a small smile forming on his face. Zane may not have known who he was complimenting, but Echo took every moment of it with pride. But then his world span at Zane's continuation.

"For a nindroid."

Zane looked down with a small smirk. Like he'd told the best joke in history. Echo tightened his grip on the wooden railing of the bounty, crushing the paint under his permanently short nails. Zane must've noticed, but didn't say anything. Either in respect for his privacy or because he wanted to hear the confession himself.

In Echo's mind, he was obviously panicking. He didn't want his brother, someone who he'd heard stories from his father, the bot he was built off of, his singular role-model, to find out who he was, like this?

Despite the fear in his ticking heart, he did something probably really stupid and something that would likely result in his downfall. He thanked him.

"Thank you... How- how did you know?" Though, he lowered the pitch oh his voice. It would not be difficult for Zane, or anyone really, to rase the pitch and find out who he was, it still calmed him down just a bit.

"A nindroid knows a nindroid. A brother knows a brother."

Oh I'm f*ucked...

There was only panic, in his systems. The ticking of his clockwork had never sounded louder in his ears. It'd drowned out the sounds of water, the automatic breathing he for some reason had, the cracking of wood underneath his palms was the only sign that ticking was not the lone sound in the world.

He fell out of his anxious trance when the hand left his shoulder and those footsteps came back. No. They were moving away. Echo looked back, moving his fingers to clutch his hood tight against the unintentional winds that now followed him and his emotions. He could see Zane walking towards the steps of the bounty, but halted at the top of them, his hand instead lazily laying on the banister.

"Don't worry, I won't tell them-" He called, just loud enough for Echo to hear over the breeze.

-about what? That he knows who I am? That he'd practically lied to them? That he knew everything all along, because of course he knew, this was Zane, how could he not know, he-

"-Cryptor."

Echo ceased all thoughts from his head. Cryptor? What was that? Was that some kind of fruit? Or a vegetable?

Echo turned his body in the direction of his brother to ask him or at least say goodbye, but he was gone. He'd walked off and down the stairs. Leaving behind not so much as a sheet of frost.

The clockwork child stayed standing there, pure surprise, fear, relief, confusion--actually a lof of emotions he didn't know how to process--flooding his brain. If it weren't for the distant voice of Nya yelling about the sudden gusts of wind changing their direction, he would likely not have moved from that position until they landed.

Cryptor. He thought, it must be a nickname. There was no way he couldn't have figured out Echo was his sibling. He'd said, "a brother knows a brother", they didn't have any other siblings. Right? No. It was just them, just the two of them. The only two nindroids in Ninjago.

His father had said so himself. Although, his father had also buried him under scrap metal and kept him hidden from his family.

Anything could be truth now.

Although Zane had left, and there was no one to hear him, he still felt it necessary to acknowledge what happened. Quietly and sadly, he spoke with a smile.

"Good guess, brother."

.

.

.

.

SO Uhh I'm gonna assume this was because i watched DotD last night,,, and so both Cryptor, and Morro were on my brain hense wind and Cryptor calling Zane "brother", but I always have Echo on the brain man,,, so uhh. Echo for the new master of wind? Anyone? I think it's cute,,,

I probably missed something, other than writing Jay and Echo's interaction, Jay was so sad throughout the rest of the dream, man. And Echo didn't even know why, it was heartbreaking---but it was also a dream and like all my dreams, they never get made into real things.

But I did like the Zane and Echo bit at the end though. There was a second ending, but it relied on the reveal of echo to the audience at the e n d of the dream. Zane still says Cryptor and Echo turns with the camera getting close to him. And as he turns his head to the camera, you see its Echo and then he says "good guess, brother" BUT NGL I THINK IT HURS MORE WHEN WE KNOW FROM THE BEGINNING SOOO.

My dreams are whack dudes,,,

Also this took nearly 3 hours to write its actually 8:50 now Soooo ilya

[link4eva]

Kiro’s R&S: Bystanders (Chapters 33-34) Translation [CN]

Hi, y’all! Just a couple of quick notes before you begin reading...

This R&S translation contains spoilers from the CN server for Chapters 33-34 which have not yet been released in the ENG server. So if you don’t wish to be spoiled then please don’t look below the cut! 

The next thing is that I don’t actually know any Chinese myself so this translation was done through the power of Google Translate and with a huge help from the lovely @keliosyfan​ . Thanks so much!! 

Hope you enjoy!~

No matter how the outside world changes, his heart is as pure as always.

[Chapter 1]

That experimental kid.

This is Hephaistos’ first impression of the new Helios.

He first saw this kid, not at the headquarters, but on the TV on the side of the road.

A blonde young man, with a soft smile within his blue eyes, sang a song in English on stage. The camera turned away from the stage. Fans screamed and waved light sticks frantically, the directors and judges on the side were all intoxicated.

Passers-by, who were attracted by the youth’s singing, gathered in front of the TV, obsessively looking at the shining star on the screen.

Only Hephaistos in the crowd stood by with cold eyes. He clearly understands the hypocritical admiration in front of him and what kind of fanatic power he will eventually integrate into his plan. This is the purpose of BLACK SWAN; to promote the symbol of “Kiro” to the public.

What’s so good about this kid’s singing performance? Hephaistos huffed and left uninterestedly.

But that impression would soon be overturned.

The dark alleys are not easy to navigate after the rain. The muddy water and blood mix together to form shallow puddles. Each footstep produces a sticky sound. Hephaistos ordered his men to clean up the mess. He looked to find the silver-haired young man walking out of the shadows and greeted him, “It’s done?”

Helios took a USB flash drive from his pocket and threw it to him: “It’s all here.”

“The new Helios’ methods are much more straightforward than I thought.” Hephaistos looked at the humble gadget in his hand, “It seems that working with you in the future should be easy.”

He stretched out his hand to Helios: “It seems I have forgotten to introduce myself. I am Hephaistos, but you’d better not call me by this name. It’s too confusing, and I’m not used to it.”

Helios glanced at the dark-skinned man in front of him. The other party showed him a friendly smile, but his gaze in the nightlight looked like a falcon locked onto its prey, making his nerves instinctively go on high alert.

He nodded but didn’t hold Hephaistos’ hand back: “There’s blood on my hand. Makes it inconvenient.”

Hephaistos expressed his understanding and stepped to the side: “Are you coming back with me to headquarters now?” 

“There’s something else.” Helios obviously didn’t intend to talk to him more, so he left.

Seeing Helios walking away, Hephaistos said: “I’ve heard your song.”

Helios paused and turned his head.

“Although I don’t have much appreciation for music, I still think it’s a good song.” Hephaistos lips formed a slightly playful smile. “Just thinking of someone who can write such sunny and gentle lyrics who is capable of creating such horror in a blink of an eye. I can’t help but feel goosebumps.”

Helios’ expression remained the same: “Are you done talking nonsense?”

“Is this really nonsense? I just thought I’d remind you,” Hephaistos gave a step back. “Since you have returned to the dark, don’t think of the light anymore.”

When Helios heard this statement, his gaze dropped slightly. When he raised it again, his golden pupils were sharp as blades, and they passed the corner of Hephaistos’ crooked smile. However, the murderous intent was taken back by him in an instant.

“Then, let me remind you. Before reminding me, do your own thing first.”

“Of course I will do my own thing.” Hephaistos held the USB up to him, “Don’t worry. You and I are in the same group.”

Helios didn’t respond to this “companion” who suddenly showed up. He didn’t look back at Hephaistos as he turned and left the dark alley. 

“Brat.” Hephaistos clicked his tongue. He added an attribute to his previous impression of Helios in his mind.

The experimental kid that is difficult to deal with.

[Chapter 2]

Hephaistos never felt that BLACK SWAN was set in stone. Just 17 years before, there was a rift in the organization and the eventual addition of Ares and Hades was the fuse that completely detonated the rift.

Although BLACK SWAN did not appear to have any anomalies on the surface, the undercurrent surging underneath the surface had long been divided into two streams by an invisible boulder, both heading towards different goals.

When Hephaistos stood in front of the diverging boulder, he didn’t take much time to think before choosing his own direction. After all, compared with Hades’s paranoia, another “new world” was attractive to him.

Even if his companion was the experimental kid who is difficult to deal with. 

Helios had settled into the organization earlier than him. As one of the main members of the plan, his influence became more and more prominent. The identity of “Kiro” was already a burden to him. Throwing it in the trash is one thing but the reality is another.

A Lincoln slowly drove out of the hall, flanked by crowds. In the crowds, everyone was blurred by the drizzling rain. Only the swinging flashlights in their hands were visible in the night.

“WE LOVE KIRO” *Made some word changes here* Hephaistos glanced out the window and said, “I didn’t understand you at your comeback concert before. Anyway, it was just a farce made by Anole to solve his problem. That’s it, there’s no need to re-enter the stage-life at all.”

Kiro’s comeback to the entertainment world is a major event. It caused a lot of waves and rippled even in BLACK SWAN. But, given that Helios himself has always been a maverick and is now the leader of the organization, everyone only dared to talk secretly. However, Hephaistos is different. He and Helios have had a cooperative relationship from the beginning. Even before the two met, Hephaistos would’ve been happy to dance on Helios’ minefield of a temper.

“Or, did you come back because you still want to enjoy being a big star? Is it fun for you to watch those young girls scream for you?” 

“Shut up.” The man who was still smiling at the fans with an angelic smile was expressionless at this moment. When he heard this sentence, he did not raise his head and continued to tap the keyboard with his fingers.

“Ah, I understand.” Hephaistos suddenly thought of something and grinned. “You are all about that girl.”

Tap.

The crisp sound of the pressing of the ENTER key drowned out all the other sounds in the car cabin.

Helios looked at the calculation results displayed on the screen, his eyes dimmed: “I have my own considerations, and I don’t need others to interfere.”

“I’m not interfering. I’m just making small talk. I was bored anyway.” Hephaistos turned the steering wheel and drove steadily down the road. “Besides, I have to thank you for being “Kiro”, because otherwise, it would have been difficult for us to get an invitation for this banquet.”

Helios didn’t say anything. He quietly looked out the car window. A drizzle of rain ran across the glass, splitting his reflection in the window into countless fragments. At that moment, he no longer seemed to be a “Helios” nor a “Kiro”.

The two were silent for the rest of the way until the towering banquet building finally appeared in the night; like a dormant beast waiting for its prey to mindlessly walk into its trap. Helios just said in a low voice: “Since I’m going to act low-key this time, I can go in alone. You can station yourself outside.”

“No problem.” Hephaistos reminded Helios, “Leto’s tricks up his sleeve are almost all gone. It’s no surprise that this kind of madman will attempt anything at this banquet. Since you are going to bring QUEEN into this banquet, you must get her and bring her out.”

“Of course I will bring her out,” Helios replied, “As you said, everything we do is for the New World. In the New World Project, QUEEN is indispensable.” 

Hephaistos smiled: “It is all for the New World….right?” He pressed the pedal, “The time is near. Go. Don’t let your little dance partner wait for you any longer.”

[Chapter 3]

The rain has stopped.

15 minutes have passed since Helios and QUEEN entered the lobby. However, fans and reporters crowded around and were not willing to disperse anytime soon. Hephaistos, who had not received his next command, continued to hide in the crowd and wait. From time to time, one or two conversations of passers-by floated in his ears, nothing more than that surrounding the dazzling star and his dancing partner.

“Unfortunately I couldn’t see what it looked like….”

“I seem to have taken a picture but something was blocking the view.”

“I really want to be Kiro’s dance partner too!” 

Hephaistos raised the corners of his lips slightly. In the hall, everyone was so occupied with the scene in front of them, paying no mind to the trivial things in the outside world. Hephaistos didn’t know whether to think it ridiculous or sad. As he was looking around, there was a sudden scream coming from the door! *Took some liberties in translation here*

“What’s the matter?”

“What happened?!”

The reporters outside wanted to rush into the hall that was now filled with the scent of blood but were stopped by a line of uniforms that appeared out of nowhere. The perimeter of the building was quickly sealed off. A siege launched inward in an orderly fashion.

“Are the people from NW here too?” Hephaistos asked and a brief command came from his headset: “Leto has acted.”

“Can you handle it?”

“I was slightly delayed by Anole’s trick.” Helios’ sounded slightly out of breath, presumably because he was running, “He shifted into Leto’s form and garnered everyone’s attention. You don’t have to worry about the situation inside. Just wait outside.”

“No problem.” Hephaistos could faintly hear the screams from both his headset and from the inside. It was obvious that the situation inside was not as relaxed as Helios stated it to be. He stepped back slowly and informed Helios: “Right. People from the NW. Moving in soon.”

“....”

“You know?” Hephaistos was surprised for a moment but he also quickly figured it out. If Leto is gone, NW and the Task Force will naturally have to draw a clear line with the loser.

Everyone is in this melee, fighting for their own agendas. He is just a bystander in all this.

Hephaistos took advantage of the commotion and disappeared into the crowd.

Hephaistos didn’t wait long at the agreed pick-up location before he saw Helios walking over from the woods.

He is no longer the blonde he was when he was inside. His silver hair is sprinkled with star-dust like shimmer in the moonlight. It almost seems ethereal. The dried blood on his cheeks was the only indicator that he was in fact not an elven prince who came from the moon but rather a Shura* who had just returned from purgatory.

*Note about Shura from @keliosyfan​* 

The Shura that is mentioned is talking about the Buddhism demigod of war Asura. In Japanese, it's used to describe a person who has to fight an endless war against something in a relentless or inhumane manner. Hephaistos was making a comparison between how Helios (as blonde kiro) went into the banquet all nicely dressed and clean like an elven prince from the moon and then later came out with blood on his face (silver-haired Helios) as if he just fought some bloody battle which he probably did.

Continue

“Nailed it?”

“Leto escaped but he can’t go far.” Helios said faintly, “There is no way he can escape the dog.”

“Yeah. The rest is for the Task Force and they will have a headache. As long as our goal is achieved.” 

Hephaistos asked, “Where is QUEEN?”

“Sent her back.” Helios pondered for a while and decided to share some more information.

“After her Evol was retrieved, her strength became even more powerful and there was not much time left for us.” 

“I understand.” Hephaistos opened the door and motioned Helios to get in.

“Where to next?”

“Go to the temporary headquarters.”

After speaking, Helios climbed into the car. As he passed Hephaistos, Hephaistos suddenly noticed that the rain had stopped a while ago but Helios had water stains on his shoulders.

That seems to be….tears?

[Chapter 4]

The description of the bereaved dog is a bit too good. Under the first-hand news report of QUEEN and the live video uploaded by KEY, Leto’s true face was thoroughly exposed to the public’s eyes. As this is such sensational news, BLACK SWAN was naturally made aware of it.

At this time, many members of BLACK SWAN are on standby in the temporary base. Although they are scattered apart, the center of the crowd is still the young silver-haired man. It seems that wherever he is, he will be the most eye-catching light.

“I just got three pieces of news. One good, one bad, and one really bad. Which one do you want to hear first?”

“Say it if you want to, or shut up if you don’t.”

Hephaistos leaned against the wall and tsked boringly: “Then tell me the good news first. Artemis was also in the banquet hall at the time and was injured.”

Hearing that the members of the same group were injured, Helios didn’t even flinch: “Her life and death have nothing to do with us.”

“That’s true. As for the good news and the bad news, I’ll talk about them at the same time. The good news is that the Special Task Force has surrounded the orphanage. No matter how hard Leto struggles, he’s already dying. The really bad news is that even if he is dying, a dying beast may still be able to bite when crazy. He has threatened to kill all the kidnapped orphans if QUEEN won’t go to speak to him unaccompanied.” Hephaistos said this and paused deliberately.

“Don’t you worry about QUEEN?” 

When he heard the word QUEEN, Helios’ icy appearance seemed to thaw slightly before it quickly froze once more. After a moment of silence, he replied briefly: “I believe in her.”

“Believe in her?” Hephaistos thoughtfully said, “Indeed, if you don’t believe in her, there will be no way to continue.”

He didn’t say anything. Now that QUEEN’s ability has been recovered, this is also an excellent opportunity to observe how much her power can grow.

Hephaistos glanced at a huge device placed behind him. Its shape stood out from the dark environment that it was in. If Hades’s “Return to Zero Plan” was his answer sheet, then this device is of their faction. 

Hephaistos asked in a low voice, “When will our next step begin?”

“The next step is to be done by someone else.”

“Someone else? Is it me? I’m not good at this high-precision work.”

“Of course it’s not you.” Helios glanced at the time. “He’s almost there.”

Ten minutes later, the man Helios had in mind pushed the door open.

Hephaistos didn’t expect to see Ares, the traitor of BLACK SWAN, at the temporary base. He was astonished like everyone else for a moment. When he saw Helios’ unsurprising expression, he quickly calmed down.

Helios said that the person who will take over this next step is actually Ares? In other words, the two of them had been conspiring since a long time ago. He should’ve known sooner.

He even suspected that maybe Ares’ “rebellion” was also the plan made by these two.

Hephaistos looked at the man in black who had walked up to Helios step by step, his palms involuntarily started to sweat. He couldn’t help the way the corners of his mouth rose.

Forget it. No matter what these two have in mind, as long as the goal is achieved, he didn’t care that Ares had returned once more.

After thinking about all of this, he coughed slightly and expressed his greeting first: “Ares, welcome back.”

[Chapter 5]

Leto disappeared. Hephaistos was a little surprised when he heard the news and felt it was reasonable.

As a member of the New World Project, he firmly believes that the power of QUEEN is the key to opening everything. No one can predict how huge a door this key can open and what kind of world will be behind that door. Leto’s disappearance is nothing more than a small experiment to test the power of QUEEN. When her power really breaks through, it will be….

Hephaistos turned his gaze back to his hand holding a photo.

Originally, he did a little research out of curiosity about that girl. He didn’t expect the results of his investigation to be so interesting.

The picture shows a couple embracing each other. Except for the man’s eye-catching silver hair, the two are no different from any other couple in the streets. The girl raised her face slightly, with a bright smile, while the man’s eyes were filled with indefinable affection. It was definitely not the expression that someone monitoring QUEEN should have. It was not for show but rather pure love straight from the heart. 

Even Hephaistos, an outsider, can see the attraction and bond between the two.

“So,” Hephaistos whispered, “No wonder you didn’t let me be nosy at the amusement park. No wonder you insisted on taking her in during the banquet. And no wonder you would be so confident in her.”

Hephaistos once thought that loneliness was the true face of Helios, and the sunny “Kiro” on the screen was a mask he wore. But the soft murmur of the silver-haired youth in the car on the day of the banquet, the tears on his shoulders, and the photo in his hand completely broke this perception.

It seems that his impression of Helios can be rewritten again.

Hephaistos felt that until the arrival of the New World, he could use this observation as a leisurely pastime, adding a little bit of fun to being a bystander.

Even if you are in a chess game.

Plunk.

A soft sound from the device behind him interrupted Hephaistos’ thoughts. He walked towards the device and the flickering signal jumped between his pupils. For a while, he truncated through these light spots and saw the endless world.

Hephaistos smiled to himself.

Forget it. No matter what kind of lingering past, what kind of feelings, bond or obsessions Helios and QUEEN have, they will be crushed by the New World the moment they face the end of truth and evolution.

“This is real romance.” Hephaistos sighed and lit the photo without resignation, and threw it in the trash can.

[END]

[kyotakumrau]

2020.08.23 sukekiyo talk event at Nakano ZERO - report

There were 3 long tables on the scene with 5 seats behind them, seats were quite spaced out. The louder music signaled the event will start and then the band members were walking on the stage (from the left side) and took seats.

From the right to left: utA, YUCHI, Kyo, Mika and Takumi, who also became the moderator of the talk event.

Takumi asked everyone about their thoughts of the DRIPPIN' tour, the event was held in place for the cancelled final show.

Mika said that now the idea of the standing show with people squeezed together going hard feels unreal. The tour was interesting.

Kyo said that as usual he doesn't really remember the shows, he was performing A LOT, sukekiyo right after dir, he felt his body got weak and he would become breathless easily, so he quit smoking, he can breathe much easier now. Then, talking about stay at home period, he said that when he is busy he has many things he wants to do, but then when he is not busy he just doesn't move. His day would be like 'game, game, sleep, wake up, game, forget to eat, game, eat something, sweets, game'. And his body is weak because he doesn't do any training, his breathing is not good. But he doesn't feel like moving, he only moves in the game.

Yuchi said tour was fun, they were very lucky with the timing, almost got it, just the last show in Shibuya got cancelled. As it was only one last show he felt shocked when it got cancelled.

utA: ....can't remember anything... but I remember eating good stuff with everyone. ... (silence follows)

Takumi (trying to help): we were playing new songs and so on?

utA: Ah but the mizutake in Kyushu were great!

He also said he regrets that Tokyo show didn't work out.

Next, Kyo told us a funny story. At the venue in Fukuoka (Tsukushikaikan) the smoking area backstage was located somewhere higher and he could see fans from there. He also told us that he went to eat shrimp tempura for lunch (Kyushu is famous for seafood), he was really looking forward to it. He couldn't remember the shop name, but it was a type where you get freshly fried stuff one by one, like a course. He enjoyed everything and then the main, the shrimp, but then a squid came last and he was like 'wth?' (because shrimp was the main). He got irritated, but that squid turned out to be delicious. He said that Fukuoka is 'イカの街 - the town of squid'😂 and after that lunch he was watching fans from the smoking area.

Takumi said that he feels sad as Tsukushikaikan in Fukuoka is closing down, his hometown is near so he has many memories there. He also felt the tour was very good, the atmosphere and new songs, especially last Nagoya was good.

Kyo: Ah but the ZARAME donuts (donut shop in Nagoya) I wanted everyone to eat were sold out, the bacon ones, so I got irritated, really felt bad. And then the tour finished with that...

(not being able to get the donuts he wanted...)

Takumi: food is so important.

Yuchi said something about Nagoya becoming the tour final even as it wasn't planned like that.

Kyo: Where were we supposed to play in Tokyo? (others tell him Shibuya) Ah I wanted to take you so we could eat Nabe Jiro in Meguro. So irritating. I wanted everyone to try.

Takumi: So what was everyone doing during 'stay at home' period?

(he asked each member starting from the right, utA)

utA: watching TV.

Takumi: what did you watch?

utA: stuff I recorded. He also said he was eating and gaining weight and got worried about that. Especially now he's getting older so it's easier to gain weight. He was also working on music.

Yuchi said he didn't do anything special, he was working on music etc. He said they have enough material for an album.

Takumi asked him about his RR interview and they talked about the photoshoot. It was held around May, when it already started to get warm. Takumi said that photos are quite striking.

Takumi: then Kyo, you said you were playing games?

Kyo talked more about Fortnite, playing with 4 friends and how he gets killed really quickly, even if he waits for the number of enemies to decrease before he comes out. I didn't understand all of it tbh. But he finished saying he also was cooking and watching movies.

Mika was of course working on music, but other than that he's also into some retro games, the type young people don't know/play. PC engine mini, GRADIUS and R-TYPE. When not working on music he was playing those games.

Takumi finally took care of all the things he was always leaving for later. He wanted to organize and declutter his equipment, he was writing reviews and selling a lot of stuff online. But them he also ended up buying some new stuff 'not sure if I can use it with sukekiyo but I always wanted to try this', so in the end he didn't really downsize his equipment. 😂

Then suddenly came a question from Kyo: does anyone here play Fortnite?

(there were maybe like 5~6 fans who raised their hands)

Kyo continued telling us about Baobao (??) and special skins Chuka manju, there are 4 types and on his team everyone is using the Chuka manju skins (Chinese buns). (there was another bit here I didn't get about those skins)

Takumi asked him how long does he usually play, Kyo said it's not decided but if longer sometimes he can start at 8pm and finish after 2, but not everyday. He doesn't always play with his team, he often plays alone, then he plays with kids and gets roasted because he's so bad😂

Takumi: anything new you want to try as sukekiyo in this situation?

Kyo said sukekiyo shows are not so different from the event, as everyone sits down and stays quiet. He does think about releasing new music, like 2 or 3 songs, being mean all of them on cassette tapes. He asked us if we can listen to the tapes like he was hoping we can't😂

Yuchi said there might be some things they can try. He loves making music so he's hoping to release something new. He talked about how band and music is changing during the tour, the progression how songs grow?

utA: the weird me wants to continue making hentai (abnormal) songs.

Takumi: we're looking forward to those.

Mika (something about unreleased footage)

Takumi talked about the digital release of their music, getting new people to listen to their stuff, of course getting some money as people play it. He also talked about editing the songs, he likes their old songs but said he doesn't like his own sound in some of them.

And suddenly we heard a LINE notification from Takumi's phone😂 Manager Takabayashi reminded them the times is running out, but Kyo told us he wanted to make the event longer.

He said many people came for the event in such situation (pandemic), so he doesn't want to finish so early.

He asked us again: anyone came from outside of Tokyo area (地方 local areas)? Ah that's bit tough. But at least shinkansen should be almost empty now... and for people in Tokyo it is tough as well, there are so many people it's like cockroaches.

(😂)

If we play a seated show (hall show) would you come?

(all of us started to nod, clap and so on)

Well... if you don't it's not like we would do it again (ever??😱), I just can't trust people to come...

(Oh, Kyo, we would come, I'm waiting for the show announcement like my cat listening for the sound of the opening tuna can😆)

And again came a sudden change of topic😆

Kyo: I really love omochi (rice cake), always have, especially during New Year. I would always eat so many, but then only my face gets fat when I stuff myself with them. So it's better to be careful.

Yuchi remembered Kyo warned them about omochi when they were playing at Countdown Japan (2013), it was very close to New Year.

Takumi asked Kyo what's his favourite way of eating mochi. Kyo explained that 砂糖醤油餅 (rice cake with sugar and soy sauce) is the infinite way to eat mochi, you will never stop. Because it's salty and sweet, you add sauce and grill it, add sauce and grill it, eat on repeat. Kinda like eating chocolate and potato chips, salty and sweet, on repeat.

In the end, Takumi asked all members for a message to the fans.

utA thanked us for coming in this situation and said he hopes they will be able to do something. He will be happy if we can come to the shows.

Yuchi thanked us as well. He said that since Nagoya in February there weren't any events like this, where we can meet and both fans and band members get more energy. They are doing their best now creating new songs.

Mika thanked us for coming and said that seeing so many people come even in this situation he felt it was powerful. He's hoping for something exciting for them and us and said they will try to look for the possible options.

Takumi said it was the first time their show got cancelled so it was a big shock, it was hard to find a way to handle it and decide what to do, what to do for fans who couldn't come and so on.

Kyo:

... I don't really have a message... we had something like that with DIR EN GREY, it was the same. You all (members) said the good things. But, the fans who came and the fans who couldn't, decided not to come, who were scared, how do we decide which way is right? There are so many stressful things, it's not like anyone is wrong. Live the way you believe is right. People are following the rules, a year passes, and when we will look back, it will be like it's empty, this is the hardest. No one else can do it for you, you have to decide for yourself what to do, the time passes quickly. You will be watching Chibi Maruko-chan and then feel like you were watching Chibi Maruko-chan just the day before (but it was last week), so make sure every day is important. I'm not feeling happy usually, and when you're just staying home things start to get weird (mentally), but seeing everyone here as so many of you came, I'm simply feeling happy. I really want to play live soon.

知らんけど・...I guess?🤷‍♀️