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kitchenwitchtingss · 1 year ago

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50 KITCHEN WITCH TIPS TO MAKE YOU FEEL MORE WITCHY

(And other useful things I've learned over the years)

Hi! This is a list of dos, don'ts, tips, tricks, and other fun things that I've learned over the years. I always love finding more effective and efficient ways of doing things so if you have any cool things you'd like to add, leave them in the comments or reblog. I'd love to read it.

Anyways... On with the list ^_^

Light candles around your kitchen space (just make sure nothing flammable is near you)

Annotate your cookbooks with the correspondence of the ingredients.

Mediating is really good to calm the mind before cooking.

Cut oranges and lemons thinly, dry them, and hang them with twine around your kitchen

Need a cleansing tip? Open all your windows near your kitchen. Let some fresh air in.

Cutting sigils into apples, pie crusts, and carved potatoes.

Save lemon and orange rinds, freeze them, and then use them to clean the garbage disposal.

Make infused oils and honey: Things like garlic honey, lavender honey, herb oil, sun oil, moon oil, dandelion oil, and other different edible oils are very fun and useful to make.

Hid sigils in pages of your cookbooks and kitchen witch journals.

Add some plants! Snake plants and spider plants don't need too much light, and growing your own herbs in your kitchen is awesome too. Basil, lavender, thyme, aloe vera, rosemary, etc. are good fits. You could also add some plants that require more sunlight on the kitchen window sill. Like cacti and succulents.

Bring crystals into your kitchen space such as rose quartz, clear quartz, amethyst, or whatever you want the space's intentions to be.

I keep a small money tree on the sill, along with cacti for luck and protection.

Make a simmer Pot! Mostly because it makes the whole house smell good, easy, and fun.

Stir clockwise for best results!

Learning how to pickle things is actually pretty witchy. Plus, anyone could do it as it requires absolutely no kitchen experience. You could pickle any vegetable, even if you don't like pickles. I originally learned this after having to take shelter from a natural disaster. A person brought a bunch of stuff and taught us how to pickle things with different spices and herbs. Very fun!

Decorate your kitchen with your favorite stuff. Crystals, decor, heat mits, that cool mushroom cake stand you've been eyeing at the World Market for the past 2 weeks, cool looking curtains, sun catchers. Why stop there? Paint the walls, hang shelves full of marked-up cookbooks that are a little too well-loved and thumbed through.

Wanna be the person that has the amazing-smelling house every time people come over? Syrups take some time to simmer down, it's actually a pretty good time to leave it on the stove to simmer. Since syrups have a lot of aromatic ingredients, it acts as a really good-smelling simmer pot.

Hang up herbs to dry with twine from cabinets that are rarely used.

Invest in that new set of plates and cups.

Homemade jams, butter, sauces, and syrups are your best friend.

Crochet or knit your own dish rags, pot holders, etc.

Don't pour extremely hot things into a glass that's not Pyrex, it will break, and you will be very sad about it.

Don't cook anything while extremely upset or emotional (For safety reasons)

Make recipes you want to make, not just because you'll like the effect. Make it because you think it's tasty.

Chinese Five Spice works in place of herbs for protection and luck spells a lot of the time! It's cheaper to buy 1 spice than 4 different spices that total up to 15 dollars when you could just spend 3-4 dollars.

Take a shower before cooking (I don't know how to explain this one other than it makes you feel better)

Don't use microfiber/plastic material clothes on hot burners, it will fuse to the burner and melt. It is VERY hard to get off.

I don't know if I need to put this one but I did see someone do it so nonstick pan = wooden utensils and plastic utensils, metal pan = metal utensils. Do not use a metal spoon in a nonstick pan, please. It can make you very sick.

Keep your pets away from hot oil, open ovens, and hot pans.

You can proof bread dough in the fridge overnight if you don't have the time to bake, or want to eat fresh bread right in the morning.

Need a quick witchy meal for dinner in 12 minutes? Use premade tomato pasta sauce and doctor it up with thyme, rosemary, and garlic, for protection and distilling stagnant energies. Serve with pasta of your liking.

You can substitute Butter for Crisco/shortening, buttermilk for 1 cup of milk + 1 tbsp apple cider vinegar or lemon juice, and heavy cream for 1 cup of half and half plus 2 tbsp of butter.

Use leftover animal bones to make bone broth

Teach yourself the art of bread scoring (It's fun, and you can show it off to your loved ones!)

Collect and hoard your own and others' family recipes.

Sometimes the food doesn't have to be a spell, sometimes it just makes you feel good and you don't know why.

Listen to your favorite music in the kitchen, it makes the monotonous things like chopping veggies move faster.

Invest in a vegetable chopper if you don't like chopping vegetables.

Find a really good hot cocoa recipe and make it once a week. Master it. Just for your own happiness because hot cocoa is really good. You could also be the friend/family member that makes the best hot cocoa ever.

Focaccia Bread Lasts a very long time, and it's very easy to make!

Keep a first aid kit near where the oven is, in case of burns, cuts, or serious injuries where time is everything.

Quick Bread and no-rise loaves are simple for beginners, tasty, and take little time. They also feel very witchy to make.

Study a bit of Herbalism! It's fun and really helps better understand the herbs you're putting into your food.

While something is boiling, put your wooden spoon over the pot to minimize the chance of something boiling over.

Try a bit of coffee magick, it's simple to get into, and gives you a boost of energy to take on the day!

If you're over 21, wine-making is a very interesting way to celebrate the sabbats. Just with that, make sure you KNOW what you're doing. With anything fermented, there's always a risk if you don't store things correctly. Apple wines, strawberry wines, dandelion wines, etc. all very cool to experiment with. If you're not over 21, vinegar is a similar way to experiment.

Hang up some witchy things, sigils, photos, cool magnets, and other things that give you joy on your fridge. (Sometimes if you are lucky they have some fun magnets at five below)

If you live in the US, for some reason, there are a lot of books in the book section dedicated to witchcraft and spirituality. At least where I live. And they are all under 5 dollars!

Teas are the cheapest and easiest things you can practice being a kitchen witch.

#witches #witchy #kitchen witch #witch #magick #witches of tumblr #kitchen witch recipes #modern witch #modern witchcraft #food #witchcraft #witchblr #food blogs #witch aesthetic #witchy vibes #wicca #baby witch #beginner witch

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starryylies · 11 months ago

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Hear me out now… ghost has a voodoo doll of you and he uses it to tease you in meetings and when you’re home and he’s at base😻

BEING SIMONS OBEDIENT LIL’ DOLL

Ongggg I love you and I love this ask so muchhhhhh ongggggg and I know I say this in every ask but sorry for replying late 😭

my finals start on Wednesday and these days I’m just clearing out my drafts for my recent posts in so sorry 😭😭

That’s like a plot from the webtoon I love (act like you love me, it’s soooooooo good)

goin to a shady ‘spiritual’ market with you was the last in his wish list buy when you were sooo insistent on buying crystals and quartz he just couldn’t say no :((

It was a chance meeting really you were just going home when you saw,

A shop in the corner of the market adorned with beautiful gems and red coloured leaves, it had no banner but the mysterious aura of the shop lured you in

Going inside you guys found an old lady selling dolls and you just couldn’t stop to look at one of them.

A doll that looked exactly like you

The skin colour, the hair, shape of your eyes.

it was exactly you.

Well a mini you,

While paying the lady told simon to keep the doll safe

He nodded along not thinking too much of it

That day When you and Simon were sleeping he accidentally slept on the doll which led to you feeling squished a suffocated

Waking Simon up with the sound of you choking

He quickly got up to see what’s wrong and the minute he got up from the doll you were fine

And You noticed that

You felt crazy ar first for believing that.

But proving it to Simon was hard,

he didn’t believe it until you made Him tug the dolls arm through which he noticed the pain caused on the exact spot

god he felt crazy too but he believed you

And the thing is your horny mind came up with a crazier idea-

An idea that stated that he has the consent to control you through the doll for when he’s gone for deployments and when he needs to go to the base

And what’s more insane is that he agreed.

So this crazy arrangement really ended up being a success

Whenever si went out he would take the doll with him, he would purposely use the doll to his advantage to tease you just slightly

The slight brush on your tits during your lecture?

That’s Simon

The sudden touches on your sensitive spots?

That’s Simon too

God he loved teasing you.

Especiallyyyy when you’re at home,

Telling you to wait and be a good girl till he comes back.

On one particular day,

He had been at the base all day to train the new recruits and you were at home and bored :(

Out of nowhere you felt a sudden caress and pinch on your nipples with your clit being rubbed in circles simultaneously.

It felt sooo good,

until it stopped.

You felt so frustrated.

You had to cum :((

So how could you not touch yourself :(

But before you could start you felt a restrain on your hands.

You couldn’t reach your hands further than your waist now

Just then you a got a message from Simon

An image of you, well mini you it’s hands tied around it’s waist

And a small text saying, “told you to wait princess, be a good girl f’ me”

That sly bastard

Really, visiting that store was a blessing curse in disguise.

But maybe giving Simon indirect control to your body wasn’t half as bad especially for those days when he felt generous :)

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a-d-nox · 1 year ago

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wyrd web: what to gift a person based these three numbers

this is just a theory of mine because these bubbles of the matrix should represent earthly desires. this is not to say that you can't enjoy things not listed in your category / under your energetic number. this is simply what i believe people with these numbers would enjoy receiving as a gift.

2 - the high priestess

things that support their spiritual practices, things that support feminine health (hum women's probiotics bundle, honey pot oral vaginal care probiotic, etc), bake goods / baking gear, barbecue sauce sampler / grilling gear (for the dads pt 2), bar in a jar (for those of drinking age) or really any beverage tester kit, bath/spa kit, beach vacation, boat, cruise, careof for brain support, truly nice melons boob butter, candles (it doesn't have to be yankee candle either - bent candles, spiced votive candle, etc) or candle making kit, imported cheeses, clothing staples (blue jeans, black turtleneck, etc), juice cleanse or other things that support digestive health, cooking classes or meal kits (hellofresh, homechef, etc), a tarot/astrology/mediumship reading, or outdoor cameras or other home security tools

3 - the empress

pillows, stuffed animals, rose quartz, personal celebrity cameo, clothing, tickets for an art museum tour, ballet tickets or classes, art supplies, makeup pallets and/or brushes, flowers, jewelry, candy/sweets, money, bells / wind chimes, clothing, designer pieces, cosmetics, dolls, a trip to a fancy restaurant, fruit basket / dried fruits, gardening supplies, jewelry, concert/orchestra tickets, poetry book, tickets to a play, a purse, lingerie (if y'all are close like that), trip to a vineyard (for those of drinking age), couples' dancing classes, or a wallet

4 - the emperor

skincare, rock climbing voucher or some other physical activity they enjoy, an adrenaline rush activity (skydiving, bungee jumping, etc), careof for brain support, crafted wooden objects (cutting boards, tables, etc), coffee trials/samplers, sunglasses, blue light glasses, hair care products/supplies, scalp treatments/care, oral health care (thera breath, whitening products, etc), meditation app subscriptions / in person sessions for meditation, or a planner

5 - the hierophant

moss agate (don't question how random that sounds this is some intuitive stuff), artwork, an architectural tour, beauty products/supplies, historically significant objects, pastries or sweets/candies, earrings, sour dough starter kit, jewelry in general, piano/organ lessons, singing lessons, a wallet, or any classes where they can learn something fun and new to them

6 - the lovers

car stuff (seat covers, cup holder coasters, etc), bicycle or bicycle accessories/gear, books (the more educational the better), briefcase / work tote, bus tickets for a day trip, gym membership or soulcycle classes, crystals, a standing desk / cute office supplies (for the work girlies both those who work in office and from home), hand & foot message, manicure voucher, newspaper subscription (i am a fan of new york times, washington post, and the new yorker), language classes or rosetta stone subscription, magazines subscription, merchandise from their favorite singer / group / tv show / movie, train trip, or we're not really strangers card packs

7 - the chariot

gardening supplies, hermit crab, baked goods, bath products / beauty products, boat, cruise, car stuff (seat covers, cup holder coasters, etc), truly nice melons boob butter, juice cleanse, gut health thrive market kit, glassware / blown glass, stuff they need / need for their home (security system, chest freezer, etc), hotel or bed & breakfast stay, kitchenware, lake trip, pearls, real estate / land, restaurant voucher / gift card, silver jewelry, shopping gift cards, a trip, or intention journal

8 - strength

amusement park tickets, supplies for their passion projects, ballroom dancing classes, tea sampler, games (video games or board games), movie theater gift card, personal celebrity cameo, flower garden supplies/seeds, stuff for their pet, or a belt

9 - the hermit

pet related gifts (if they have a pet that is), bookshelves (they probably need one), juice cleanse, gut health thrive market kit, a cat, clothing, oral health products (thera breath, whitening products, etc), stationary, emergency preparedness (ready to eat meals, fire blanket, etc), cook books, dining ware (new plates/bowls, cups / glassware, silverware, etc), food subscriptions (home chef, hello fresh, pickle of the month club, bokksu japanese snack box, etc), careof subscription, gloves, herb garden kit, a one way ticket to anywhere, or a hiking trip

10 - wheel of fortune

incense, cleansing herbs, bow and arrow, sapling, land, dried berries, budget book, gym/exercise membership, religious/spiritual/philosophical books, poker set, cloth (if they like sowing), wool (if they like weaving, crocheting, and/or knitting), wool clothing, a coat, trip to a country or place they have never been, oral health products (thera breath, whitening products, etc), etiquette classes/books (this is great for the traveler because they are often interested in learning customs before going on their trip), figs, fruit basket (like edible arrangements), honey sampler / royal jelly, horseback riding lessons, lottery tickets, merchandise from their favorite singer / group/ tv show / movie, shoes, really any game, any subscription they have not tried, things that support their spiritual practices, or book on positive mindset

11 - justice

personal celebrity cameo, tickets to a ballet or to an art gallery, air purifier, portable heating pad, spa voucher, cosmetics, lingerie (if y'all are close), closet organizational items (space saving hangers, linen bins, accessory hanger, etc), pastries and sweets, diamonds (perhaps propose to your lover), a dress, tickets to a fashion show or exhibit, flowers, a luxury chair, jewelry, concert tickets, poetry books, any quartz pieces, chocolates dipped strawberries, hair extensions, logic puzzles, a voucher for an escape room, or a kitchen/baking scale

12 - the hanged man

bar in a jar (if they are of drinking age), a book on angel numbers, a book on natural medical remedies, ballet classes or tickets to see a ballet, bath bombs and other bath goodies (salt, bath table, candles, sugar scrub, bath teas, etc), beach vacation, tea or coffee sampler, butterfly farm kit with caterpillars, disposable camera or a camera they would like (polaroid, filming, etc), scientific kits (geode kit, grow your own crystals, etc), cigars (for the dads in your life), unsolved mysteries or crime kit, dance classes, smutty/romance/fantasy books, fairy garden, a tarot/astrology/mediumship reading, budget book, makeup palettes or other cosmetic they enjoy, concert tickets, paint, poetry books, clue the board game, a pass to an indoor pool, a book on poppet making, meditation membership or a voucher for in-person sessions, or something to support their curiosity for new spiritual insight

13 - death

hermit crab, a jumping spider, a reptile, homeopathic books for natural cures and remedies, operation the game, butcherbox subscription, a book on how to cook and trim meats, beginners chemistry kit, a colon cleanse, sea monkeys, unsolved mysteries or crime kit, philosophy of death books, books on magic, magic the gathering the card game, period products (portable heating pad, the diva cup, etc), poisonous plants (belladonna, foxglove, lily of the valley, etc), a frog pond, a scorpion, a snake, a burr/boo basket (these people love seasonal stuff), or marie kondo's life changing magic of tidying up

14 - temperance

a hunting trip, bow and arrows, books on religion or philosophy, book of devotions, book on dream meanings (hello, freud haha), a certification course or college class, horseback riding lessons (for the newbie or a younger sibling or your child/niece/nephew), horse drawn carriage ride (for the couples *smirk*), logic puzzles, things that support their goals, or a book of angel number meanings

15 - the devil

a fan or air conditioning unit, if you have the land for it a cow/horse/goat, kinetic tape, arnicare bruise cream (this is a joke... unless...), coal or a diamond (this is also a joke... unless...), a clock or a watch, cuticle trimmer (and other nail care things), room darkening curtains, a happy lamp, lotion/cream, hat/scarf/gloves, hair products (extensions, shampoo subscription, etc), leather fashion-ware, gardening supplies, ice maker, or a juice cleanse

16 - the tower

tiger balm or other pain relieving ointment, acrobatic/gymnastic classes, homeopathic books for natural cures and remedies, first-aid kit, baking kits, barbecue sauce sampler, barbecue sauce sampler / grilling gear (for the dads), gift card for haircut, dollar shave club (for the dads pt 2), metal works (spoon handle rings, metal roses, etc), boxing lessons, boxing match tickets or monster truck tickets, butcherbox subscription, a book on how to cook and trim meats, crafted wooden objects (cutting boards, tables, etc), cactus plant, beginners chemistry kit, cookbook, pocket knife or leatherman/multitool, tool kit, jenga, emergency kit, food, first aid kit, merchandise for their favorite superhero(es), electric lighter, liqour or bar in a jar (if they are of drinking age), rock music (a vinyl or concert tickets), pepper plant, pipe for smoking (if they like to smoke that is - my grandfather had a collection), lego kit, or lincoln logs

17 - the star

friendship bracelets, a fan / ac unit, model airplane, flight lessons, compression stockings/socks, architectural tour, astrology reading, car stuff (seat covers, cup holder coasters, etc), club memberships (golf, racket ball, sam's, etc), electronic devices (a new phone, amazon fire stick, solar portable charger, etc), movie on blue-ray or dvd, movie gift card, a camera (polaroid or another type they have been eyeing), disposable cameras, camera gear, shadow work journal, aesthetically pleasing bluetooth retro radio, streaming service subscription, a book on health or mental health, or a book on positivity

18 - the moon

abstract art, bar in a jar (if they are of legal age), a fish, a fish tank, tickets to an aquarium, cocktail book (if they are of legal age), a fishing trip (for the dads), book of conspiracy theories, the conspiracy theory map, a crystal ball, unsolved mysteries or crime kit, a jellyfish, a tarot/astrology/mediumship reading, a camera (polaroid or another type they have been eyeing), disposable cameras, camera gear, poetry book, hydroponic starter system, games that involve bluffing (clue, poker, herd mentality, etc), shoes, sleeping eye mask, silk pillow cases, new bed sheets, bonnet, socks, a computer keyboard, typewriter, a book on shadow work, a puppy, or a book on dream meanings

19 - the sun

maine coon, autobiographical books, ballroom dancing lessons, poker set, oral health products (thera breath, whitening products, etc), card games, personal celebrity cameo, circus fruit basket, chocolate gold coins, classes that encourage creativity (create it and break it sessions, pottery classes, etc), jewelry or an engagement ring (if it's been more than 2 years y'all should know what you are doing at this point), flowers, indoor herb garden, tickets to race of some sort (cars, horse, sporting events, etc), sporting equipment, ivy plant, a pottery painting voucher / gift certificate, or something for their passion project / hobby

20 - judgment

a reptile, ant farm, a guide on astral projection, operation the game, the chameleon game, clue game, unsolved case files game, grand theft auto video game, assassins creed video game, dungeons and dragons the game, yahtzee, emergency preparedness kit, magician kit, poisonous plants (belladonna, foxglove, lily of the valley, etc), the divine comedy, puzzles, a rodent of some sort, or lingerie (if y'all are close)

21 - the world

gardening supplies, acoustic guitar, air conditioning or fan, architectural tour, teddy bear, snow globe, boots, calendar or planner, supergoop (sun protectant) products, wooden objects (cutting board, chest, box, etc), carpet, clay (air drying or via kiln), a clock or watch, compression stockings/socks, collectible coins, pain patches or kinetic tape, crystals, budget book, lotions for dry skin, dried fruits, gloves/mittens, hair care products, ice machine or ice making trays, ice cream subscription, pottery classes, rain coat, real estate or land, zen sand garden, sculpture, or snake

22 - the fool

flight lessons, model airplane, a flight to anywhere, car stuff (seat covers, cup holder coasters, etc), an astrology reading, bath products, biking gear, movie theatre gift card, clock or watch, club memberships (golf, racket ball, sam's, etc), mood lighting or strip lights, a train ride, fun magnets, motorcycle accessories/training, microphone (maybe they are filming or recording something), patterns for cross stitch / knitting / crocheting, a camera (polaroid or another type they have been eyeing), disposable cameras, camera gear, stuff for the tv (surround sound, sound bar, streaming subscription, etc), or classes for one of their interests

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thevixenwitch · 3 days ago

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Metaphysical Shop Red Flags:

Little bit of a disclaimer on this one: This post is made from my personal experience. If you have a small business, this post is not about you, but hey if some of these things stand out to you, maybe it's worth analyzing your business model.

I am someone that's been active in irl and online pagan and witch spaces for over a decade now, and am compiling this from my own experiences, as well as those of my partners. I'm also a tad anti-capitalist, so an alternative title for this post could be "How to Spot if You're Actually that Metaphysical Shop's Cash Cow".

Now, let's get started.

Unknown or unethically sourced White Sage is a really noticeable starting place. Once I was at a market and saw cute smoke cleansing bundles with dried flowers and cinnamon sticks and quartz points, very pretty, very flashy! But when I asked where the Sage was sourced, the lady manning the booth said they were from Amazon. Some sellers value visual appeal to make a sale over anything else.

Overt appropriation via bulk, drop shipped items like “smudging” tools, dream catchers, etc. This list of items can vary dramatically based on who owns the shop, what practices exist in your area, so it’s good to educate yourself on how to spot appropriation. This does NOT mean ethically sourced options that benefit marginalized communities, that’s what we want to insist our local shops have for us to buy!

On that note, a lack of local creators and/or sourcing in general. Not every store has a goal of being a community hub, but beyond that they are still very visible aspects of the community. It strikes me as very odd that I can more reliably buy locally sourced herbs from a random gift shop than I can from a metaphysical store no matter which state I’m in.

Crystals with no information about where they were sourced. There is a growing issue with the intense demand for crystals that has caused an increase in unethical sources, so knowing where your purchases come from is important. Compare prices at metaphysical shops to those at your local rock shop, especially if you are lucky enough to have one run by gemologist, geologist, or rockhound. I have talked about this already elsewhere, so I won’t bog down this post too much with it. The short of it is, transparency is a green flag.

This one may be controversial, but dramatic markups in general. Don’t be afraid to compare prices to other places, particularly other local options if they are available. A few dollars variance is normal, but a huge markup should be obvious. Things like location can have a huge impact on price, which is good to keep in mind. The availability and price of something can vary wildly based on that factor alone, but that’s why I recommend checking against other options within your area. Do remember that comparing to Amazon prices isn’t fair to small businesses, and “cheap” is not the goal here.

If the contents of the store are all drop-shipped, or bulk stock that can definitely be something to keep an eye out for. If the place is full of items you can actually look up on Amazon, that may be worth paying attention to.

Prevalence of well-known problematic authors. If they have Silver Ravenwolf on a central display, that’s always something that tells me a shop prioritizes making a sale over providing quality products. If there’s an overwhelming presence of Lewellyn published books with minimal alternatives, that shows a lack of care for diversity or quality control.

AI items. Let’s be so for real here. Walking into a shop and seeing an obviously AI generated altar cloth with gibberish symbols all over it is a bad thing. I’ll talk more on the rising presence of AI that’s very negatively influencing the quality of information available in the pagan community at a later time.

Bulk resin and 3D printed items. We’ve all seen them, the vendor at a fair with an army of dozens of jointed dragons, or ten resin-cast, glitter-filled Gaia statues that light up! All so sparkly, colorful, and eye-catching. I’d implore anyone to learn more about how much plastic waste is involved in bulk production of low-quality products like this.

What my wife likes to call “Apple Store vibes”. Call me traditional, but when a store is all sleek white lines and tidy, understocked shelves, I know I’m in for some of the highest prices for incense I’ve ever seen. These stores are meant to bring in people with money burning a hole in their pocket, and that’s often reflected in the visually appealing kitsch that never actually seems to serve a purpose.

This can be a red flag SOMETIMES but not always: A lack of diversity in the paths represented. Sometimes a shop is just a reflection of the owner’s personal practice, or the focuses of the local community. Other times, there can be a reflected air of superiority of one path over others. This is entirely dependent on the individual store.

A big one I’d like to end on; they only host paid classes and services with no way for under-served members of the community to attend or participate. This is made even worse if the events are all over $20. Especially if this store is the only option in your area for these things! Instead of providing a service, they could be focused on cornering the market.

A quick Green Flag for some positivity, the presence of the owners or staff’s personal practice! I love being able to ask for insight from the source, I love being able to buy someone’s personal oil blends, I love learning more about things I may not have thought about because I’m not walking that path myself. Staff that want to chat and help can be so nice and really add to a welcoming environment.

Supporting small businesses is so important, and they can really be cornerstones of our community, but we need to be able to see the difference between someone passionate about providing resources and space to a community, and others that are looking to make a quick buck off of people starving for that. We as consumers need to hold our communities to some kind of standard, and I for one find that my standard is a certain level of authenticity. Not everyone selling metaphysical tools and supplies is trying to scam someone, but there are bad actors everywhere. Educate yourself, keep your eyes open, and don’t be afraid to ask yourself what someone’s motivations are.

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valve3nthusiast · 2 months ago

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(I've talked about Drift fucking crystals before right? Like there's no way that I haven't at least once right?)

How it all starts, of course, is with Rodimus making dirty jokes about some of the more... suspiciously shaped crystals in his collections, which Drift scolds him for. None of his crystals would be used like that! It's disrespectful!

Drift definitely doesn't spend the next couple of weeks staring at the ceiling of his room, furiously jacking off, while carefully avoiding looking at his collection. Or even thinking about it. Absolutely not. (Damn it, Rodimus)

So when he's next at an alien market and perusing the crystals and gemstones section, he definitely has no ulterior motive for buying an absurdly large harmonic quartz suspiciously cut and polished into the shape of a textured spike. Complete coincidence. (Listen, it was a really high-quality quartz for dirt cheap, he had to take that deal, ignore his bank account numbers)

And Drift is simply making a smart and tactical decision when he hides it in his subspace until he gets back to his room. Rodimus would probably never shut up about it, and maybe even steal it to try and do... lewd... acts with it! Truly, he is just looking out for the safety and dignity of all involved. Minimus would be proud

It's just... curiosity, that makes him take out the new quartz before he starts... "tending to himself," so he can compare it to his spike... only to see if it actually is that phallic!

The harmonic quartz is certainly pretty, shimmering with many vibrant colors. And large. And thick. And at the base of the center pillar, there are still some small crystalline formations, lovely and polished to a shine, but decently sharp enough to make you want to keep them away from anything... sensitive

A healthy dose of self-delusion really can't cover for the fact that once Drift realizes the crystal is so generously proportioned that it's nearly twice as big as his spike, his valve starts dripping. Any internal justifications of "academic interest" or "morbid curiosity" can't cover for the way he's now rubbing the blunt tip of the quartz across his glowing node and flushed valve folds

And, all right... maybe... he's been thinking about this more than he should. Maybe, getting it out of his system would make him stop. Maybe putting that blunt, unyielding crystal into his valve won't feel good at all, and he won't lie awake thinking about it anymore, so he should just put it in and be done with it-

Drift's loud moan shatters both the silence of his room and his hopes of not enjoying this, as he forces the massive crystal past the first caliper of his valve. It's somehow nothing like a spike, and yet better, his valve desperately clenching around the too-large quartz. The burn of his first caliper squeezing down on its unyielding, solid mass is exquisite. (It's possible there are some other things he has been avoiding admitting to himself, every time an injury made him revved up with charge that he did his best to ignore)

And, well. Maybe once Drift's collected himself, he ends up staring at the ceiling again, thinking about the empty ache in the rest of his valve, and the sunk cost fallacy, and how the rest of the crystal might feel if this is just the tip, and the merits of literally just saying "fuck it."

So he does. Fuck it, I mean. Vigorously, with great enthusiasm and some mild self-injury. His needy little valve was designed take the softer living metal of a spike, or something similar. The hard quartz he's forcing his valve open with is nothing like that at all. The sweet thrill of pain lights up his array with more charge than he ever really wants to self-reflect on

If Drift could even hear himself right now, he'd probably be embarrassed by the noises he's making. The aching burn of each new caliper he harshly pushes through has him moaning like a virgin taking their first spike. But he's too distracted by how fragging full he feels, one hand brutally pistoning the quartz into his abused valve, the other furiously rubbing circles on his anterior node

Fragging hell, when he finally manages to force the whole thing inside of him and grind the fat, blunt tip into his ceiling node, he shrieks like he's being fragging murdered, and accidentally overloads himself into unconsciousness

As Drift wakes up the next morning, still aching around the crystal he didn’t have the chance to pull out, valve lips scratched and bleeding from the rough edges at the base of his new favorite false spike, he looks at the ceiling and thinks: maybe I should start a new crystal collection...

(and, oh primus, if I get an infection from this, no one is ever going to let me live it down)

#valveplug #mine #drift #i told yall i was gonna do nefarious things to him #yup this was inspired by that comic #tf am i gonna tag this with #pain kink drift extravaganza #the spirit of something possessed me this is the most ive wrote in a while #with much effort and pain and suffering and etc this could probly become an actual ffic

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astrolovecosmos · 1 year ago

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The Planets & Random or Obscure Associations

~Sun~

Creativity, vitality, head of state, the father, games, yellow and orange clothing, articles of value, jewelry, gold, brass, power, diamonds, citrine, topaz, jasper, amber, rhodochrosite, mistletoe, almonds, citrus, succulents, sunflowers, fevers, heart, back, spine, grapes, walnuts, rice, chamomile, frankincense, juniper, saffron, marigold, rosemary, rue, palaces, towers, luxury.

~Moon~

Eternal, cycles, silver, aluminum, pearls, moonstone, opal, selenite, chest, glands, lymphatic system, nervous system, emotions, mother, ancestors, nurture, rebirth, tides, baths, ocean, brew, boat, sap, willow trees, succulents, pale color plants, white flowers, cucumber, cabbage, lettuce, melons, shellfish, pumpkins, lakes, fountains, ports, fishponds, pools, springs, sewers, dairies, toys, reflection, blankets, objects of comfort.

~Mercury~

Communication, journal, pen/pencil, any writing tools, wings, phosphorous, mercury, agate, tiger's eye, brain, nervous system, eyes, respiration, thyroid, speech, hearing, intellect, vehicles, money, bills, paper, books, pictures, parties or social gatherings, scientific instruments, butterflies, messages, mail, hazel, mulberry, myrtle, seeds, aniseed, dill, fennel, lavender, liquorice, marjoram, parsley, valerian, hazelnuts, beans, mushrooms, pomegranates, carrots, celery, libraries, schools, markets, fairs, public spaces, tennis or badminton court, studies, banks, bowling greens, offices, blue, white, or light colored flowers.

~Venus~

Love, relating, lust, high-quality fabrics, copper, bronze, sodium, malachite, tourmaline, emerald, rose quartz, kunzite, sapphire, pastels, throat, kidneys, lumber region, art, music, aesthetics, social life, fashion, jewelry, wine, pleasure, alder tree, fruit trees, paint, ash tree, birch, pomegranates, early flowering, daisy, mint, marshmallow, meadowsweet, mugwort, plantain, tansy, roses, thyme, vervain, yarrow, potatoes, strawberries, wheat, sugar, nectarines, ballrooms, bedrooms, dining room, gardens, fountains, wardrobes, theaters, looking and feeling good.

~Mars~

Lust, conquest, desire, flaming sword, red things, fights, iron, brass, bloodstone, carnelian, cinnabar, pyrite, magnetite, ruby, garnet, hematite, muscles, reproductive organs, blood, kidneys, immunity, heat, action, arms, pepper, sharp instruments, cutlery, attacks, scissors, weapons, physical intimacy, bites, stings, scalds, burns, accidents, hawthorn, pine, thorns, cactus, aloes, anemone, arnica, belladonna, garlic, ginger, hops, mustard seed, nettles, wormwood, chives, onions, leeks, radish, rhubarb, tobacco, labs, furnaces, distilleries, bakehouses, ovens, smiths, butchers, fields, anger, passion, self-focus.

~Jupiter~

Expansion, optimism, religion, religious sites, tin, seduction, turquoise, chrysocolla, topaz, citrine, jasper, liver, pancreas, pituitary gland, sciatic nerve, excess, abundance, prophecy, philosophy, knowledge, universities, foreign travel, luggage, honey, oil, silk, fruit, distinct clothing, merchandise, horses, domestic birds, gambling, indulgence, entertainment, oak, dandelion, sage, endive, chervil, asparagus, figs, churches, temples, palaces, altars, courts, mansions, woods, orchards, winery, cornucopia, connecting with the soul.

~Saturn~

Limits, boundaries, father time, lord of death, shadows, lead, iron, steel, calcium, asbestos, sulphur, diamond, onyx, calcite, skeleton, spleen, skin, teeth, nails, joints, structure, crystallization, old age, blockage, anything dark, wool, heavy materials, agriculture, wheelbarrows, spades, farm houses and buildings, cold, laws, aspen, blackthorn, buckthorn, cypress, elm, toxic plants, hemlock, henbane, belladonna, hellebore, barley, beetroot, safflower, parsnips, spinach, deserts, woods, valleys, caves, church yards, ruins, coalpits, sinks, wells, mud, institutions.

~Uranus~

Eccentrics, mavericks, invention, genius, revolution, change, trends, disruptive science or tech, uranium, magnesium, lapis lazuli, sapphire, aquamarine, azurite, chalcedony, electricity, neon lights, plaid, nervous and circulatory system, pineal gland, chaos, violence, upheaval, astrology, steam engines, coal, machinery, coins, baths, fishponds, dangerous places, computers, magnets, quantum physics, research, welfare, humanity, hypnotherapy, railways, banks, gas, psychiatric hospitals, offices, hospitals, dispensaries, fortified places, chemicals, mingled/mingling, spirit and matter.

~Neptune~

Illusions, veils, diffuse, deception, water, oceans, mysticism, enlightenment, artistic pursuit and understanding, zinc, potassium, amethyst, fluorite, jade, sugilite, coral, aquamarine, pineal gland, lymphatic and nervous system, spine, mental processes, addiction, psychoses, disease, photography, music, substances, gas, religion, poetry, mimicry, chameleon, anesthetic, telepathy, empathy, dancing, psychic gifts, places near water, hospitals, places of healing, jeweler, painters, brewers, musicians, visionary.

~Pluto~

Power, influence, darkness, new life, what's hidden underneath, seeds, volcanoes, deep earth or ocean, bury, explosions, eruptions, abduction, plutonium, smoky quartz, obsidian, jet, pearl, deep reds, reproductive organs, the unconscious, nuclear, transformation, death, birth, rebirth, underworld, riches, earthquakes, big business, murder, detection, detective, invisibility, sneak, enforced change, hidden places, underground, drains, sewers, radioactive places, the occult, black magic, sacrifice, renew.

#zodiac #astrology #planets #sun #moon #mars #venus #mercury #jupiter #saturn #uranus #neptune #pluto

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celtigxr · 3 months ago

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THE PINK DREAD - CH. 22 (Masterlist)

Chapter Summary: It's Maiden's Day. The Royal Conclave has officially begun with guests from all four corners of the Realm gathering into the Grand Hall for the first Ball of the season, where all the Maidens will be presented. Word Count: 5651 CHAPTER WARNINGS: Misogyny. Religious themes.

Series tags: Aemond x Plus size!OfC, Aegon x Plus size!OfC, Celtigar!ofc, Plot with Smut, mdni 18+, Aemond End Game, Angst, Comedy, The Dragons Don't Dance, slow burn, friends to enemies to lovers, enemies to friends to lovers.

Credits: Lace Banner by Aquazero, pearl divider by Pommecita

Maiden’s Day had begun shortly after the arrival of the King and Queen. The last three days were a flurry of last minute preparations. All the unwed ladies of the Realm were being prepared to don their white gowns, displaying their virtue on their sleeve, so they may all crowd inside the Great Sept atop of Visenya’s Hill and pay tribute to the Maiden.

In the Celtigar apartments, bodies milled in and out of the room with tailors and seamstresses alike. Valeana already had a dress made for herself, which she had done moons ago for Maiden’s Day. Though, at the time, she believed it would have been celebrated at Claw Isle, like it was every year for the past decade. Her sisters were a different story; their dresses were commissioned prior to the funeral, and they were now rushed to adjust days before the event. In comparison, they were plainer than Valeana’s, who had the time to stitch out every detail, but they were still lovely and extravagant, as all Celtigar women were known for.

Floris’ was a shockingly pearl white gown with a modest boatneck neckline, and tight wrist length sleeves. The neck, arms, and hemline adorned with the same damask embroidery stitched into it, with small quartz crystals polished into teardrops dangling along her neckline. Her hair was pulled away from her face, parted down the middle, flowing down her back with only a single braid woven down the middle. Any stray hair would have been held back by her crescent white hood that had a white veil hiding her brown tresses.

Shyla’s was an alabaster white, with a scoop neckline to accentuate her beautiful neck, and capped sleeves. She had more of an empire waistline, allowing the skirt to flow freely with its light tulle curtains. There was less detail in hers, but there were pearls woven into the skirt sporadically, like white stars on a canvas of clouds. Lastly, she wore lace gloves, a matching pearl choker with a ruby at the center, and unlike Floris, all her hair was piled up, topped with an albino peacock feather.

With her extra free time, Valeana was able to put her full attention on the dress she had promised Queen Alicent she would make. She had already presented the queen days prior to her departure with sketches of her designs, and Alicent had only responded with requests for minor changes. She did not wish to be scandalous, but she did want to make a statement. The design she chose would be tedious, but Val enjoyed the challenge. Rosy, her ever loyal handmaiden, was always there to assist with her mistress’ work. She had helped many times in the past, which has aided Valeana greatly when it came to multiple gowns for multiple occasions… Which she would likely need these next couple of moons.

She had a lot of work ahead of her, particularly her own gown for the Creature’s Ball. She had no ideas for herself, and that made it all the more difficult to start. Her hands moved along the soft fabrics that her mother had brought over from Claw Isle and bought in King’s Landing market places. All colours of the rainbow were presented before her, in various shades and saturations. From brilliant cobalt blues, to muted lavenders, to rose blush reds, to even unflattering palettes such as mustard yellow, mourning black, burlap sack brown, and salmon pink.

Maiden’s Day started painstakingly early as everyone got ready, aside from the men who did not need to don their formal attire until later, just before the ball. Valeana strapped in her more formal prosthetic, the one she affectionately called “Ser An-toe-knee Woodsby”, who had a wedged heel to accommodate the height of her wedged shoe. She always preferred this prosthetic over “Lady Footlyn”, it was more elegant, and walking in it felt more natural, but the caveat was that it wasn’t as worn in as she would have liked, and it would always have to be worn with a wedge shoe on her other foot. The increased height made it more difficult for her to stand for hours now that her right foot was made to bear the brunt of her weight on the balls of her feet. Still, she loved the way it made her hips sway side to side.

Her large ivory gown was pulled over her head, and pooled at her feet with its scalloped hemline. Out of the three dresses, Valeana’s was the only one with colour. Maroon embroidered roses were designed in the grand width of the gown, standing tall on their stems like an award winning rose garden. The same pattern was centered on her bodice, the bud of the rose centered between the width of her breast, and the bottom of the stem ending at the ‘V’ shape at her waistline. Her biceps had the same design as well, although more subtle, taking the snug shape of her arm until it got to her elbow where it flared out in delicate lace. Then, as always in Celtigar fashion, pearls decorated the dress all over, accentuating lines to give it more texture.

Valeana’s hair took the most amount of time. As long and thick as it was, it took two handmaids to tend to it. They pulled and pinned until it became a single large braid, the knots loosened elegantly, and decorated with sprigs of baby’s breath. Mother wanted it to be put up, but Valeana argued that the weight of her hair would cramp her neck.

Wheelhouse after wheelhouse left the Red Keep that morning. When they reached Visenya’s Hill, it was crowded with carriages, horses, and women in white. Hundreds of maidens gathered into the Great Sept, leaving behind their mothers, their aunts, their fathers, and other guardians behind.

Only maidens were allowed to fill the halls of the Great Sept that day.

In silence, Valeana and her sisters entered the massive structure. It had been a decade since she last saw it and it never ceased to amaze her. The domed ceilings were so high that you could hear a whisper of a prayer from the other side of the Sept. Her eyes roamed around, looking at unfamiliar faces of women and girls alike. From girls as young as three, to spinster women as old as 60. If you were never married, and never laid with a man, you were here to worship and honour at the feet of the Maiden.

She did not see Ellyn and Wylla in the crowd of white, and she ended up losing her sisters in the shuffle of the crowd. Not wanting to waste time on finding her people, she decided to take place in the first empty space she could. She immediately spotted one on a pew next to a young woman in a frost white gown, hair a beautiful red orange that was laid in waves down her back and plaited into a crown adorning her head. She was on the robust side, with rounded cheeks, a wide waistline, and soft arms. She reminded Valeana a lot of her former younger self, but admittedly this young girl was far more prettier, more vibrant.

“Do you mind…?” Valeana asks the girl in a whisper. No one dared to raise their voices while the Septas filtered through the crowd with vulture-like awareness. Every once in a while, they would ring a bell when someone was being too loud.

The girl looked up with surprised sapphire blue eyes, then she relaxed with a kind smile, “No, not at all.”

Valeana settled in beside her, and took a look around to see if she could spot her sisters, or her two only friends, Wylla and Ellyn.

“Looking for someone?” The girl next to her asks.

“Lost my sisters in the crowd,” she admitted. “Trying to spot my friends, but… with everyone wearing white, they all blend in together.”

The girl softly chuckled, then quickly covered her mouth, “Same thing happened to me, but with my cousins. I have no sisters, just too many brothers.”

Valeana smiled in response, “Who are your cousins?”

“They are Lord Tyrell’s daughters,” she answered simply, then extended her hand. “My name is Lady Catelyn by the way. Catelyn Redwyne. But you can call me Cat, everyone does.”

Valeana took it and they both shook gently, “Lady Valeana Celtigar.”

The mention of her name caused the young girl’s brows to raise and her mouth to gape a bit, “You’re Valeana Celtigar?”

The octave of her voice was loud enough for a Septa to sharply bring a bell in their direction. The two girls looked over before hunching down and continuing their whispers.

“Erm, yes. How do you know me?”

“Your name is spoken all over the pavilions,” Cat whispered in haste as she took a glance around to make sure no one was listening. “They say King Viserys’ two eldest sons are fighting over your hand.”

A deep blush stained her cheeks, “That isn’t… That’s not what is happening at all. Are people really talking about me? I haven’t even left the Keep since I arrived.”

Cat nodded eagerly, “It is all the ladies are talking about. That and your… uhm, many drunken exploits with men.”

“What!?”

The bell rang next to her ear, jostling her in her seat. When she turned around, a Septa was glaring at her with a twisted puckered face. Slowly Valeana turned back around.

“It was one time,” she immediately corrected. “And I was in the company of women.”

“Well, whatever the truth of it is,” Cat started, a little smile at the corner of her lip, “You are creating quite a stir in the Realm. It has caused a divide between the ladies.”

“What do you mean?”

“Half the women wish to end you, and the other half wish to be you. Either way, all here are green with envy.”

“And which half are you, Lady Cat?”

She smiled sweetly, folding her arms on her lap demurely, “I am a fan of great romances, and therefore, a fan of you. It reminds me much of this novel I read whilst living in Highgarden. It is about a woman from the North forced to marry a Dornish prince, but fell in love with his brother. But she ended up falling for her betrothed too, after some time. It was quite riveting.”

Valeana’s face was fully pink at this point, from outrage over this news, to flattery over Cat’s praise. At this odd book that sounded far too familiar for her liking. She cleared her throat, “And–and what happened… in the end?”

Catelyn sucked in her lips sheepishly, “Oh, I dare not say. Not here, not on Maiden’s Day.”

Valeana shot a look at the giant statue of the Maiden, whose feet they all circled. Then she looked back at the Redwyne girl, “Whisper it into my ear.”

Tentatively, Cat leaned over and cupped her hand over Valeana’s ear, “They both became her lovers. Often at the same time.”

If it was possible, Valeana’s face went pinker. Her eyes glanced back at the Maiden, green eyes filled with religious guilt.

Maiden, forgive me for my thoughts. She thought, swallowing thickly.

The Great Hall was near its capacity with the collection of noble families that crowded it. Hundreds if not a full thousand people mulled around, mostly men as half the population of their guests were making their way towards the Red Keep from the Great Sept. Aemond lurked in the fringes of the hall, eye moving along to each faceless body, trying to identify who belonged to which family. He spotted Lord Borros immediately; he was an easy character to pick out from the crowd, and it was not because of his size. He was loud and tended to take up as much space as possible. Along with him, he found Jason Lannister, their Lord Treasurer’s twin brother. Lord Tyrell and his Dornish wife, the Redwyne brothers, the Starks, the Freys, and even the Greyjoys were in attendance.

Aemond knew that most would not stay longer than the length of the Tourney; it was not just wives that these bachelors looked for, but titles and knighthoods, of which the King promised. But there were many bachelors indeed, easily identifiable by their attire.

The maidens wore white, and so did the un-affixed men, save for the widowers. The young men and boys that had not married once wore various shades of white doublets and jerkins. Their breeches are generally a darker colour, and a formal cloak of their house colours framed their bodies.

Aemond abhorred the colour white on him, but at the very least the dark forest green of his cloak gave him the depth of darkness that he preferred. The lapels and stitching of his satin jerkin carried the same green, and in the same shade of white, dragons were embroidered onto his shoulders and the bottom near his hips. His cloak hung on a gold chain clutched in the jaws of two dragons at his shoulders. His eyepatch was the only black piece of clothing on him; it was his most formal one, with swirly switching in the leather. The strap this time was tucked under his hair and under the shell of his ear on one side, giving room for the golden circlet above his brow, showing his status as a prince of the realm. Lastly, part of his hair was intricately woven into a series of plaits that collected into a fishtail braid that went down the center of his head, the length of the rest of his hair fanned over his back like a sheet of silk. The process of which was irksome, as Aemond absolutely loathed anyone but himself and his mother to touch his hair.

His eye fell onto Aegon, who wore similar garb, but held more gold than green on his doublet. His hair was only half pulled back into a small twisted plait on the back of his head, and the circlet that rested on his brow had emeralds encrusted around the gold rim. He kept himself busy with socializing, as that was what Aegon was known for. He surrounded himself with the team of Redwyne brothers, laughing loudly over goblets of wine, likely made from their wineries.

Aemond moved his attention away from him, landing onto his uncle who was on the other side of the hall, keeping to the fringes just like him. Daemon wore black, whether by a personal preference or to convey the fact that he was still in mourning. It was likely the former of the two, knowing his uncle’s reputation. Daemon’s cloak was black as well, though the inside was blood red, making the Rogue Prince look like the Black Dread in human form.

And of course, Daemon was looking directly at him.

Aemond kept his eye on him, refusing to move it an inch.

It was always so strange to him that he and his uncle had not formally met at Leana's funeral, and even after the incident, no regard was spared. Daemon lurked in the shadows while his mother screamed for justice over Aemond’s eye, and not once did the Lord of Flea Bottom say a word about him claiming his late wife’s dragon. It wasn’t until only a couple days ago that they had even locked eyes with each other, after Valeana and Jacaerys greeted each other.

It was bizarre. Like looking into a mirror that showed him his future.

The staring contest broke when Daemon was joined by his step sons, oblivious to Aemond’s spectre on the other side of the Great Hall. Both men wore identical garb, save for their colouring. As heir to the heir, Jace wore a red cloak, draped over one shoulder, being held on by a silver dragon’s claw. His brother wore a muted aquamarine one, and his doublet had the image of the seahorse woven into patterns at his breast. With Lord Corlys still abed with no indication of survival, Luke’s choice of colours was a clear statement that he was the heir to Driftmark… But anyone with eyes knew the title belonged to Lord Vaemond Velayron.

The doors to the main entrance opened with the blaring of trumpets announcing the arrival of the maidens. A hush went through the crowd as all men, and married and widowed women flanked the sides in order to make room for the ladies that would be presented. The first, of course, was Princess Helaena, who was dressed resplendently in a true white gown with a train that followed behind her. Her hair unbound, with a crown of white flowers upon her head. Her dress had little crystals woven into the hems and linings, and the shape of butterflies could be seen in the fine embroidery. Her sleeves were long and billowy, flowing into her skirts and covering her arms and hands completely.

It was painfully obvious how nervous and fretful she was. She slowly descended down the wide staircase, eyes flickering around the crowd as her eyes shone with a glossiness of unease. Helaena was not good with crowds, and here she was on display for the entire Kingdom. Aemond made a step towards her, intent on collecting her from her personal hell, but his mother beat him to it. She swiftly cut through the crowd that parted and bowed for her. Upon reaching Helaena, she took her hand and silently pulled her through the crowd towards the head table where the royal family would be seated.

After that was settled, the gently bred ladies were introduced to the room three to four at a time. There were the Four Storms, the Baratheon sisters, then Jason Lannister’s girls, and so forth. After a lady Redwyne and her Tyrell cousins were introduced, the names of Floris, Valeana and Shyla were announced, and Aemond snapped to attention.

“Lady Floris Grafton, Lady Valeana Celtigar, and Lady Shyla Celtigar,” the announcer’s voice echoed in the hall. Aemond’s eye swept around for a moment, noticing some of the women whispering to each other as they craned their necks to watch the three girls descend down the stairs.

Aemond tried to appear impartial, but his body moved without his consent. He stepped in between bodies, forcing them to part with his shoulder. When people craned to see who had been cutting through them, they jumped aside. Had Aemond been paying attention to his surroundings, he would have noticed he was not the only one that filtered through the bodies to get closer. Apart from him, there were three others.

Valeana had her hands clutched in her gown, chin down on her clavicle as she watched her steps down the stairs. Her hair practically glowed in the midday sun that shone through the skylight and stained glass windows, giving her a halo of dust particles dancing around in the air about her head. Aemond has never seen her in white before, at least not from head to toe. She was radiant, like a star on earth.

A divine creature descended from the Seventh Heaven.

The Maiden in flesh and bone.

His eye trained on her every movement, his vision a tunnel and she was the light at the end of it. She was the only thing that existed in that room, in that world. Once she reached the ground, her eyes lifted and like a magnetic force they immediately found him.

There was a ringing in his ear as he became deaf to everything and everyone around him. They were suspended in time the moment their eyes locked onto each other. Aemond’s lips parted as the breath was quite literally stolen from his lungs, and his life flashed before his eyes. All moments in time that he shared with her, as far back as babes.

Squeals of laughter and delight as they played in the rain and mud, and then ran through the corridor tracking dirt on the flagstone, being chased by two irate Septas. Sitting back to back in a copper tub as the same two women scrubbed them down to their bones.

Wrestling over the last lemon tart on their shared platter underneath the Heart Tree, getting tangled in the roots as they tugged at each other’s hair and pinched each other’s arms. They always ended up splitting it in the end when Valeana tapped out, huffing in disappointment and ignition.

Their “discreet and secretive” sleep overs they would have under a large desk in the royal library. Sharing a large pillow and blanket as he practiced his Valyrian to her until she fell asleep on his shoulder. Maester Artos would always find them, barking loud enough to wake them in a startle, causing their heads to bump into each other.

Her face lighting up whenever he presented her with menial gifts, such as shiny rocks, seashells, flowers, or rusted jewelry found on the beaches of Blackwater Rush. She would always make something out of them; pendants, earrings, or unconventionally sewn in an embroidery loop, woven in her art for eternity.

She running to him in tears after the Greyjoy boy kept on pinching and slapping her behind whenever she had her back turned. He had taken his handkerchief and dried her tears and smoothed down her hair, vowing that he will never let him touch her again.

And then lastly when his father told him he would be marrying her, his best friend. And his one and only weakness. His pride and fear consumed him then, but now…

Now, as he watched her turn away, her hand poised out to grasp the hand of her elder brother, he was consumed by a new type of fear. The fear of losing her completely, of which his pride now would not allow.

Valeana Celtigar belonged to him.

As time took motion once more, the chorus of music and chatter filled his eardrums. Aemond was returned to reality, left to stare at her back as Clement brought his Valeana over to the side, where the rest of her family waited. Aemond forced himself to turn away before he could do anything rash in front of quite literally all of the Realm.

The first dance of the ball was to begin shortly after the mingling of guests, and it would be followed by the feast, and a parade of fools and entertainers. Aemond intended to reach Valeana before the dance could begin, before Aegon or Jacaerys could reach her. He cut through the crowd in long strides, hyper aware of the eyes of his father, mother, sister, and rogue uncle upon him as he narrowed the space between himself and the Celtigars. However, before he could even get within yards of them, his path was intercepted by Lord Borros and the eager brown eyes of Maris Baratheon.

“Prince Aemond,” The Stormlord greeted, his smile calculated and false. It didn’t reach his dark eyes, which assessed him with keen suspicion. “I thought you might have lost my beautiful daughter in the crowd, and so I personally escorted her to you.”

Maris looked up at her father in gratitude before back at Aemond, “I told my father it was my wish to take my first dance with you, Prince Aemond. If it pleases you.”

The reality of his decisions of the past few weeks weighed heavily on his shoulders in that instant. Since that moment in the corridor with Valeana the other day, he had forgotten he had shown personal interest in Maris Baratheon. By now Borros surely was already fixated on the idea of betrothal, else he would not be here carting his daughter to him like a sacrificial lamb. More likely than not, the Stormlord surely had talked to the King about it already, which presented more problems. Had this been a week ago, Aemond would have only hesitated for a moment before bending to duty, should it have been the will of his father and mother. Both of which he knew were against it for some vague reason, given the lecture that was given to both him and Aegon the night of their return.

His eyes flickered above their heads where he could just about make out Valeana, standing partially behind the body of a girl with red hair and a round, plush face. Aegon and Jace crowded them, effectively snuffing out his chance at claiming Val’s first dance.

Aemond’s jaw was tense when he looked back down at Maris, but he forced himself to smile, just enough to make him look convincing.

“It would please me greatly, Lady Maris,” he extended his hand to her, which she took with a bright smile and casted a look to her father over her shoulder.

Lord Borros hummed satisfyingly, “Wise choice, my Prince. Next to my little Floris, she is the best dancer at Storm’s End. Beauty, brains, and grace!”

“Father! Please!” Maris chided, taking her place at Aemond’s side. Too close for comfort. Too close for him to look detached.

Separating himself from Maris now was going to be a challenge. The last thing he needed was contention with Borros Baratheon, when in the future his mother and grandsire may need his loyalty.

Aegon was well into his cups before the maidens arrived for the ball, and that was simply due to his nature. A man who quickly found friends among strangers, Aegon was by all accounts a social butterfly, and an avid social drinker. When the maidens started to enter the Great Hall, he leaned against a large pillar casually next to Redwyne brothers, as the four of them each judged every girl that walked in.

“Ah, Cassandra Baratheon,” Aegon turned to the three men, “Beautiful, but a bore. She complains about every bloody thing.”

“That is unfortunate,” Cleyton, the eldest, tutted. “I like tall women.”

Aegon scrunched up his nose at that, “Do you really? Not for me. I like them short… easier to align their nose with my cock.”

The men laughed and turned back to the parade of women. Jason Lannister’s daughters came in after, hair like spun wheat and looking like clones of each other.

“I’d take them all, one at a time, or all together, really,” Ser Cedric, the second son, giggled into his cup while his younger brother slapped him in his arm.

“Such a pig, Cedric. A greedy pig,” Colin chided, earning him an incredulous look from Cedric.

“You’re one to talk, baby brother. You were ogling the widows like a hunger panged hound.”

Cleyton leaned into Aegon’s shoulder, “He likes older women.”

Aegon’s shoulders shook with a soft laugh, “I do not blame him. Older women often make the most eager sluts.”

“Lady Wylla Stark, Lady Barba Bolton, and Lysara Karstark.”

“Oh, now she is a work of art,” Cedric stepped forward, his hand gesturing to the raven haired woman descending the stairs. “I always thought Northern women were large, hairy and had beards. Thank the Seven I’m wrong.”

“I’d be careful with that one,” Aegon said thoughtfully. “She will emasculate you with her eyes alone.”

Cedric smirked widely, “Sounds like my kind of woman, then. I enjoy a good hunt every once in a while, you know?”

Cleyton snorted, shaking his head, “You forget she’s a Stark; a direwolf. She’s the hunter… And you are a pretty boy with a long stick and shiny hair that you spend too much time on.”

The boys laughed, even Aegon, as Cedric shook his vibrant mane away from his face haughtily, “Thank you for calling me pretty, brother. You know how it gets me hard.”

“Good gods,” Colin sighed embarrassingly into his palm.

Then the doors opened to three women, two tall and willowy with dark brown to black hair in coiled curls and thin braids, and the third a shorter girl in an empire waistline dress and bright orange hair tumbling about her shoulders. Clearly a chubby one, even with the cut of her dress that tried to shield her unwanted curves.

“Oh, that is simply not fair,” Aegon tutted, “You don’t pair up the thoroughbreds with the mule.”

“Oi, careful now,” Cleyton rebuked while Cedric made a sharp hissing sound through his teeth before covering his grin with his fist.

“That’s our sister, my Prince,” Colin quickly added.

Aegon grimaced, sucking at his teeth as he casted a look over to his new mates, “Sorry. What I mean to say is: Your sister is very lovely.”

The girls were introduced as Lady Sharis and Malora Tyrell, and Lady Catelyn Redwyne, first cousins likely from their mother’s side of the family.

“Lovely, sure,” Cedric snorted in his cup, earning him a quick whack from his elder brother upside the head.

It was not long after that the Celtigar sisters were introduced to the crowd. The mere appearance of Valeana was enough to sober Aegon, but only to then get drunk at her visage after.

“Oh, ho, ho,” Cedric dog whistles and nudges Aegon’s arm, “That’s her then? The Celtigar girl that’s gotten the Princes of the Realm all in a tizzy. Now I can see what the fuss is all about. It’s the only bloody thing Cat, Shar and Mal can ever bleedin’ talk about.”

Aegon grinned, eyes still glued onto Valeana as she descended down the stairs slowly, her sisters trailing ahead of her at a faster pace.

“The whispers have reached the pavilions then?” Aegon’s eyebrow raised, not paying them a minute of his attention. His teeth grazed his bottom lip as his eyes drank in every inch of her. Her neck, her hair, her bosoms and her cinched waistline. He felt a stir in his loins and the overwhelming desire to taint her white dress by deflowering her took over his senses.

Her maidenhead will be his.

He stopped listening to the Redwyne brothers; their prattle was background noise to him as he swallowed the remains of his goblet and quickly shoved it into one of the boys’ empty palms.

“Excuse me,” he pushed himself from the column, eyes trained on Valeana as she parted from her family to go converse with none other than Catelyn Redwyne, of all people.

As he made his way through the milling bodies, in the corner of his eye he could see another filtering through towards the same destination. His eyes caught his nephew’s, and with a dual glance back at Valeana, the race was on. The two princes cut through the crowd, causing curious looks and shocked whispers at the sight.

“Seven Hells,” Valeana startled when she turned around just in time to see the brown and silver haired princes all but collide with each other. Overwhelmed by the sudden attention, she put Catelyn in front of her to shield her. The redheaded girl did not seem to complain.

“Good Maiden’s Day, Lady Valeana,” Aegon greeted first, a knowing smile upon his face. “You look resplendent today.”

“Thank you, my Prince,” Val curtsied stiffly.

“I dare say she always looks resplendent,” Jace smiled, his hands folded neatly in front of him, “But, you do look exceptionally more today, Lady Valeana. White suits you.”

Aegon sent him a withering look.

Catelyn turned to Valeana, all wide eyed and gleaming with barely concealed excitement. Aegon didn’t see, but she mouthed: “Three princes?!”

Valeana’s eyes widened slightly at her before returning her attention to the men in front of her, “Prince Aegon, Prince Jacaerys, this is my new friend, Lady Catelyn Redwyne.”

“But, please call me Cat. Everyone does.”

“Ah, yes, I was just acquainting myself with your brothers,” Aegon bobbed on his feet and smiled politely at her. “Lively lads, them. It is true what they say about the Redwynes; they can drink anyone under the table and still walk in a straight line. A talent I someday wish to have.”

Cat giggled, then gave a soft snort, which caused her to blush heavily and cover her mouth, “Oh! Oh, dear, that was embarrassing.”

Aegon hummed amusingly, smile still donned, “Aren’t you a darling. If I can make a lady laugh to the point of snorting, then I have succeeded in life.”

The four of their heads perked up at the sound of lutes and drums, signalling that the first dance was about to begin. Aegon turned back around, eyes finding Valeana’s His mouth opened, ready to ask her for a dance, but Jace was quicker and his request left no room for refusal.

“I promised Lady Ursula that you would be the first I asked to dance, Lady Valeana,” Jace stepped forward with an extended hand, his smile charming, “I hope you do not do me a disservice by forcing me to break that promise.”

Valeana swallowed, looking at Aegon briefly with pained eyes, and then back at Jace. The corners of her lips tugged upward, twitching as she tried to keep a polite face.

“Well, I would never wish to disappoint my mother,” she placed her hand in his, and he gently pulled her into his orbit.

Aegon glowered silently, nostrils flared as his finger curled into fists. Jace gave him a smug look of triumph, the end of his lips turning into an insufferable smirk before returning his baseborn brown eyes onto Valeana. She gave Aegon one last look before she disappeared onto the dance floor.

“Strong bastard,” Aegon hissed, forgetting he was not alone.

Catelyn laugh-snorted again, then promptly covered her mouth, eyes wide with realization. “Oh no, I should not have laughed at that.”

Aegon’s mood significantly shifted; his smile broadened as he turned to her. “Oh, but I am glad you did,” he tilted his head and offered her his hand. “May I have your first dance, Lady Cat?”

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE SNEAK PEAK He hummed, his eyes glancing down to the floor where her feet were hidden behind the hem of her dress, and then back up. “I didn’t see you dancing.” She couldn’t help her eyes from narrowing, “You were watching me?” There was a faint smile there, one that she could not decide if she liked or not. Though what he said after did make her toes tingle and her face feel hot. “Always.”

Notes: Oh, where do I begin. You finally get to meet my other babies. If it wasn't obvious already, the heroine for Aegon's Spin Off story has been introduce, along with her brothers and cousins. They party hard at the Arbor, what can I say. I havent decided yet if I'll wait until the end of TPD to post his story yet, but I will warn you guys, that there will be a mia moment of no updates for probably two weeks as I try to work on both of them simultaneously. I've only written the prologue, and I need to make sure I get the timeline right. But that will probably not happen until sometime in November.

Tag: @queen-of-elves, @keylin1730, @anakilusmos, @weepingfashionwritingplaid, @sugutoad, @desireangel

( if you wish to be tagged for this story, just give me a reply! )

Please do not re post, redistribute or plagiarize my work. The only other place this story is posted on is ao3 under the same username.

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hardlyinteresting · 2 months ago

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Witch!reader thoughts

Kind of niche, but it's Samhain and it's on my mind so I figured I share

I myself can't really consider myself a witch, but I grew up surrounded by superstitions, tea readings, and cleansing. Over the last few years, I have been working to learn more from my friends who practice as I try to reconnect with historical Celtic practices and interweave them with my personal beliefs. For that reason, a lot of these head cannons are kind of surface level 💕

Masterlist | talk to me about Jake and Tyler

Tyler Owens and Jake Seresin below the cut

Tyler:

- Tyler definitely grew up going to church on Sundays, so I think it would take him a minute to accept his partners practices. Not because he's closed minded but it's just such a departure from what he grew up with.

- Tyler would definitely want to ask a lot of questions. He loves learning things, and understanding. He wants to know about what crystals are used for what, what dates are important

-I definitely think that having grown up in rural communities and around farming and stuff there are a lot of farmers tricks and old wives tales that I think he'd begin to connect to a lot of the beliefs his partner holds when it comes to the change of seasons etc

-he travels around for most of the summer months and I do believe he would start collecting plants and herbs to bring home. He'd pick up artisanal candles from farmers markets

-Arkansas has a lot of mines. They have diamonds, quartz, and rock salts and he'd be eager to gift the crystals to you when he had a chance.

-I think a lot of the crew would really be into it too as they learned more. Dexter would share facts about the history of certain practices from all over. Egypt to the Norse, Celtic practices etc he'd love being able to share historical context he knew. Lily I think would adore a quartz necklace as a gift. Dani would be curious and wanting to know more but in a casual kind of way. Boone I think would be a little afraid of it, but also intrigued and if Tyler isn't freaked out by it, I think he'd calm down especially as he started to learn more. That man definitely believes in ghosts and things so I think you could really connect with him when it came to paying respects to people who have passed, and the origins of holidays set to help connect with loved ones who have moved to the other side.

Jake

-I think Jake could be unintentionally dismissive of it. He's a little aloof and oblivious sometimes when it comes to the nuance of people's lives and experiences. And I can see him kind of brushing it off as a "SoCal, yoga and crystals" kind of fad or fashion thing.

-I think he'd be quick enough to learn that it's a lot deeper than that. And honestly I think he would really respect your dedication to your craft even if he didn't fully understand it.

-he can't say he believes in it, and I think that would have a lot to do with a his Texas Christian upbringing, and that he's a man of action who likes to be able to physically see the impact of his choices, spirituality doesn't come easy to him.

-that being said he'd regularly check in on any alter you had wanting to see what's been added and doing his best to understand seasonal changes etc

-he watch and listen carefully any time you shared part of your practice with him

-he doesn't know what they're all supposed to do, but if you give him tourmaline or amethyst to take with him on missions and deployments or even just daily flight practices, he doesn't ask questions. He would never admit it, but he doesn't like flying without one of your gifts with him. Your investment in his safety, and that fact that you believe so strongly starts to make him think they might really be his lucky charms.

-bonus: if you did tarot, I think it would freak him out a little bit any time something resonated and he'd choose to not have readings done. The dagger squad would be really into it though, and I can see Rooster coming by to ask a question before a mission. And it would really help build trust and community.

#jake seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin #tyler owens x reader #jake seresin #hangman x reader #witch!reader #tyler owens #twisters

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stalkerofthegods · 1 year ago

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Lord Hermes Deep dive

Lord Hermes is amazing, he is the darling of the gods and of our hearts, he is strong in gymnastics and in spirit, he is the last thing we see, and the lord of our words, and as a worshiper and as a researcher I believe he is amazing and wonderful, I absolutely adore him, so I should probably stop writing, or it'll become a love letter, but I've worshiped this god for around 2 years, maybe more, but I know well he is amazing and deserves respect.

Herbs • Krokos (Crocus) koumara Tree, olives/olive oil, crocus, hydrangea, chrysanthemum, Palm tree, Almond tree, The Silver Birch tree, Crocuses, Saffron, Wheat, Rosemary, Pine Tree, Mint, Cinnamon, Cassia, Golden Benzoin, moly, strawberry

Animals• sheep, dogs, boars, lions, Tortoise, Ram, The dove killing species of Hawk, Hares, constellation Lepus, pig, beef, mutton, pork, Cattle/oxen, roster, birds of omen, snakes, and guard dogs, fish, horses

Colors• Red, purple, silver, gold, copper, and black, Orange, Grey, Green, Red, white and brown (associated with traveling)

Crystal• Amethyst, Quartz, Orange topaz, Agate, Marble, smoky quartz, copper, silver, and gold, Eisenkiesel Quartz, Silver, Yellow Topaz, Amber, Citrine, Emerald, and Peridot, red marble, Hematite, jade, malachite, fluorite, pyrite, lapis lazuli, alexandrite

Symbol• Caduceus, Kerykeion (Herald’s staff and magic wand, lulls mortals to sleep and can wake mortals at will), Winged Cap (also called petasos, and a brimmed cap, this cap was called “Cap of Aidoneus, the unseen” because it rendered its wearer invisible), Golden Sickle, Winged Boots- called “pteroeis pedila”, A Sack (the kibisis) Talaria (winged sandals), and Petasos (winged helmet), golden or adamantine blade, shepherd pipes, Purse, Pouch, Hermai.

Mortal or immortal • immortal

Zodiac• Gemini and Virgo, and cancer

Equivalent (this means alike, not the same) - Mercury (Roman), Hyperion (Greek), , Horus (Egyptian), Ra (Egyptian), Amun (Egyptian), Freyr (Norse), Bragi (Norse), Odin (Norse), Baldr (Norse), Heimdallr (Norse), Lugh (Celtic), Áine (Celtic), Mercurius (Roman god), Thoth (Egyptian god), Anubis (Egyptian god), Woden-Odin (Germanic god)

Attendees • Oreiades (oreads), Pan & the panes, Satyroi, oneiroi, he is often seen with Hestia.

Ephiphets• Agetor -Guide of Souls, Agonius or Enagonius -pertaining (Hermes’ role as presider over solemn festivals such as Agonius) Agoraea and Agoraeus- to Gods who were considered being the protectors of the assemblies of the people in the agora (also has a reference to the agora as the marketplace), Argeiphontes- “radiant one’, Euskopos Argeiphontes, literally “the sharp-eyed Slayer of Argos”, Chthonius or Chthonios, “of the earth or underworld, Hermes Trismegistus- “Thrice Great Hermes”, Kriophoros- the “ram-bearer” is a figure that commemorates the solemn sacrifice of a ram, Leucus- “white”- an epithet of Hermes in Boetia, a Greek city containing Thebes, “Of the Golden Blade”- he carried a sickle made of adamant, Cyllenius, or Kullhnios- from His birth or temple site on mount Cyllene in Arcadia, Diaktoros Argeiphontes – “the courier” Argeiphontes, Kratus Argeiphontes- “strong” Argeiphontes, Hermes Promakhos- “the Champion” Logios- writer, knower of intelligent design, Tetragonos- four square, Aglaos -Splendid, Agoraios - Of the Market Place, Aipytos -Of Aipytos, Akakesios -Of Akakesion, Angelos -Messenger, Agreiphontes -Argus-Slaying, Bouphonos -Slayer of Oxen, Dioktoros -Messenger, Dolios -Crafty One, Enagonios- Of the Games, Enodios - of the Road, Epimelios - Keeper of the flocks, Eriounios - Luck-Bringer, Euangelos - Bringer of Glad Tidings, Euskopos - Watchful, Gumnasiarkhos - Leader of the Gymnasium, Hermeneutes - Interpreter, Kerdoos - the Gainful, Kerukes -Herald, Kharmophron—Heart-Delighting, Khthonios - of the Earth, Khrysorrhapis -Of the Golden Wand, Klepsiphron - Deceiver, Kourotrophos - Protector of Youth, Kranaios- unknown, Krateros - Mighty, Kriophoros - Ram-Bearer, Kullenios - Of Mount Kyllene, Logios -of Speech, Maiados Huios - Son of Maia, Mekhaniotes - Trickster, Nomios - Protector of Flocks, Oiopolos - Shepherd, Pantokrator- Ruler of the World, Pheletes -Thief, Poikilometes - Full of Various Wiles, Poneomenos - Busy One, Promakhos- Champion, Propulaios - Before the Gates, Psukhopompos - Conveyer of Souls, Takhus - Swift, Tetragonos - Square, Trikephalos - Of the Three Ways/Heads, Trismegestos - Thrice-Greatest, Tukhon- Bringer of Luck, Aglaos- Radiant, Bright, Beautiful, Pleasin, enevolent. Angelos Athanatôn - messenger of the gods, Angelos Makarôn- messenger of the Blessed, Akhos Phêlêteôn- leader of robbers and thieves, Chrysorrhapis- of the Golden wand, Dais herairos - comrade of the forest, Diaktoros- guide & messenger, Dolios- Craft of Wiles, Dôtor Eaôn - giver of good things, Dôtor eaôn- Giver of good things, Enagônions- giver of good things, Enagônios-of the game, Epimêlios-Keeper of the flocks, Erikydês- famous, glorious & splendid, Eriounês - Luck bringing & ready helper, Euskopos-Keen-sighted, Hermêneutês- interpreter/translator, Kharidôtês- giver of joy/graces, Kharmonphrôn- Glad-Hearted, Krateros- Strong & mighty, Kriophoros- ram bearer, Kydimos-glorious, mastêrios- of searchers, mêkhaniôtês-trickster, Oiopolos- sheep tending& shepherd, Phêlêtês- their, robber, rustler, poikilomêtês- full of various wiles, Polytropos - Much traveled& much wandering, pompaios- the guide (he’s a psychopomp)

Element • air

Number•Four, eight, Squares

Past courtships• Merope, Aphrodite, Dryope, Peitho, and Hecate,

Personality• People say he is chaotic, some say he’s wise and can be calm, he does give serious advice and is a serious guy, but he also has a sense of humor and won’t always steal from you. (he won’t if you ask him not to..I think.) He is also sassy and side eyes (from other people) I find him difficult to track down, He's very kind and upbeat sometimes, depends on how u contact him and what mood he's in, he gives great advice and someone good to depend on.

Patron of• of cunning thieves and liars, Patron of herdsmen, Patron of orators, Patron of inventors, Cattle-herders, Shepherds, Goatherds, Horse & mule breeders, Grazing pastures, Cave shelters, Guard-dogs, Animal predators, Bucolic poetry, music, Animal fables (ex- the tales of Aesop), Laws of hospitality, he is the Protector of guests, Cattle-rustlers, Bandits, Crafty thoughts, Mail carriers and sorters, Retail workers, Canvassers , Editors, journalists, and writers, Newspaper routes, Bank tellers, Carnies , Casino workers, Gas station attendants, Mechanics, presentations, public speaking, playlists (I've heard this years ago)

Diety of• Divine Trickster, boundaries and thresholds, Creator of civilization as Trickster, Messenger of the Gods, transgressor of boundaries and taboos, Inventor of fire, Inventor of sacrifice, of mysteries, Bringer of sleep, dreams, and visions, free will, Psychopompos or Guide of the Dead, Escort of the Gods, thieves, graves, and heralds, Luck, Unexpected Fortune, Giver of Good, of sacrificial priests, successful communication with enemies, translation and language, gymnasia and athletic youth, logos world order, trade and commodities, astronomy, knowledge, speech, Inventor of boxing, running and foot races, of exchange, alchemy, science, internet, Magic, Presider at solemn sacrifices, Divine Movement, Ruler of the Orphic House of Cancer, Ruler of the Planet Mercury, Western astrological signs of Gemini and Virgo, Scribe of the Gods, Protector of all messengers especially in war, Protector of wise women and elderly women, Fertility and Procreation, God of Masturbation, Soul Transformation and Guide through Consciousness changes, Heraldry and animal husbandry, speed, Codes, and Secrets, Caretaker of graves, Protector of travelers, Mechanics, Wine-pourer of the Gods, Inventor of weights and balances, Controller of Birds of Omen, hospitality, diplomacy, physical and moral boundaries, Orators, presentation, public speaking

Home• Mount Olympus

Fact• He invented the alphabet and dice and the lyre, he also has a stone called the “hermai” on the side of the road or a stone with a penis (he was a fertility god) to show a border or a crossing, sometimes to explain direction and distance, or in important landmarks is up ahead, the herms were worshiped, with offerings and anointed with olive oil and adorned with flowers and wreaths, telling us about the sacredness and importance of the hermai. (The ones near tombs are also connected to funeral rites). Some say he created fire, because in his myth of his birth he started a fire to sacrifice cows to the gods.

Roots• Greek mythology, Mount Cyllene

Blessings • protection on the road, money randomly found, easy speaking, good parking, and less traffic. Herds multiply (fertility); Herds protected (from predators), Success in trade, Goods protected from thieves, having Persuasive speech, Poetic inspiration, Safe traveling, Protection of guests, Homes protected from thieves & criminals, having Wiliness and stealth,

Curses: Herds die off by disease and infertility, Herds lost to predators, Unsuccessful trade, loss in money, loss in memory, loss In conversation, unwelcome ghosts in the house.

Food recipe • Panspermia, a mixture of beans, peas, seeds, olive oil, milk, and honey, should only be offered to Hermes in his Underworld aspect. This offering is considered food for the dead and should not be tasted by the living (considered bad luck if Aten by living)

Offerings • Keys, Dice, Playing cards, Coins, Rocks/pebbles,Lucky charms (Cereal), Rabbit's foot, Horse shoe, Magic 8 ball, Coffee, Energy drinks, Herms, Road trip snacks (perhaps Hostess donuts), Airplanes/trains/cars imagery, Foreign/new foods, Trail mix, Peanut m&ms, rumane the marble popping soda drink, Turtles, Lyres/string instruments, Sandals/shoes/running shoes, Journals, Camping gear, Survival gear, like multitools, fire starters, first aid kits etc, Pens/pencils, Small (stolen) trinkets, Language dictionaries, Work out gear, Panpipes, Postcards, Letters, Mail, Stamps, Envelopes, Zodiac signs, Sheep/goats, Car parts, Backpacks/drawstring bags/bags, Crocos, Sticks, Saffron, Sticks, Books, Cups, Scales, Dream journals, Graveyard dirt, Cookie fortunes, Bikes/skateboards/skate, Old licenses/IDs, Sport trophies/jerseys/jackets/gear, Wings, Letters/numbers, Video games, Magic kits, Oranges/Lemons, Beer, White wine, Red wine for (His chthonic aspect), Milk, Mutton, Pork, Beef, Chamomile tea, Honey, Olive oil, Strawberries, Foreign foods, Eggs, Virgo or Gemini moon water,Golden objects, Silver objects, Musical instruments, Wands, Money/coins, Foreign money/coins, Dice, Pebbles, Feathers, Turtle shaped objects or art, Strawberry art or toys, Crocus flowers, Written stories or letters, Travel food, Souvenirs from your trips wheat, honey, twigs of olive, honey-comb and honey from local bees, cassia, cinnamon, saffron, include eggs, onions, garlic, pomegranate seeds, and fish or pork, barley grains, mead, beer (Especially German), lead, papyrus, pebbles, herms (or boundary stones), chocolate, whipped cream, coffee drinks, brightly-colored easter eggs, blueberries, granola, almonds, walnuts, pecans, Absinthe, beer, gin, vodka, red-bull, dry white wine, blessed moon water (especially in Virgo, Cancer, or Gemini), metal, jars, gin, pomegranates, onions, fish, garlic, Statues, Turtle Imagery, Hawk Imagery, Ram Imagery, Rooster Imagery, Marbles, Postcards, Chocolate, Lemons, Almonds, Mutton, Foreign Food, Brightly Colored Eggs, Onions, Sunflower Seeds, Fig Newton Cookies, Granola, Candies, Strawberry Milk, spring water, cookies or cakes, Wine, Golden cakes, Golden raisins, Apples, Music or poetry, Dancing, Drawings, pineapple, anything with computers, (especially boxing games, online games, and hackers), orange peels, gas station coffee!!, apples, bananas, grapes,Anything containing mercury, Crocuses, Panpipes, Saffron, Strawberries, Chocolate, Wheat, Honey, Lemons, Almonds, Cassia, Cinnamon, Pork or mutton, Spring water, Comforting a dying loved one, letters

Devotional• Board games, Dominos, pick up sticks, playing jacks, bouncy balls, peanut m&ms, write letters, go on walks, go run, do marathons in his honor, road trips, learn about alchemy, astrology, astral travel, prophet dreams, anything astrology related, learn basic car mechanics, give whatever to panhandlers, go talk to panhandlers (keep them company) , pranks, public speaking, tip well, stargazing, geocaching, learn a new language, Learn ASL, work out, Deive safely and predictably, use your blinkers fucking properly , bike/skate, clean your car, make a travel alter (for Hermes), get a passport, Travel , practice keyboarding, have a penpal, Train your voice, magic tricks, check your mail/email , low risk gambling (ex• lotto tickets) , make sigils, race, Play tag, be nice to wait staff, play sports, make maps of trails near you, make maps in general, play string instruments , Make herms, Carpool, Uphold confidentiality, Coin tricks, Be a reliable worker, Thrifting/yard saying, Dumpster diving, Making trades and barter, Help look for missing people/pets, Travel to new places, Learn a new sport, Practice speaking in public or online, Practice writing, Learn astrology, Learn astronomy, Learn about agriculture and animal husbandry, Learn magic tricks, Collect coins, Have a feast in His name, Dice games (ex- DnD), Card games, Donate to homeless shelters in His name, Give money to the hhomeless, Keep a dream journal, Write Him stories and poems or jokes, Honor the dead, Invoke Him on your travels or when looking for a job, always thank Him when you arrive safely or have some luck in your life, studying, learning, playing harmless pranks, attending magic shows, going on adventures, trying out new things, donating to fundraisers, working out, Taking a scenic route on your way home,Picking up loose change, Going to thrift stores, Being patient with delivery drivers, Going for walks, Making a mood board, Making a playlist, Making a dedicated journal, Giving to those in need, Going to/Watching sporting events, Practicing safe driving, Donations to hospitals and health institutions Donations to local artists, learn on how to save on gas, learn how to surf, draw sigils on shoes, leave coins when you leave places (extra points for pennys), give people in need a bus fare, clean off snow on other peoples car, clean your car, stopping for others (nicely, don’t run them over!), let him pick music, get a passport in his honor, decorate your passport, learn how animals communicate, call a love one, establish and force, dedicate a electronic to him, collect stamps and post cards, keep ur secrets, communicate with people when your upset,Keep a journal, Learn a new language/Revisit, Learn ASL, Learn about the evolution of language and how it is always changing, Be mindful of the language you use in daily life, Change your self-talk to positive, Voice training (Particularly for trans worshippers), Thinking before you speak, Learn about older forms of communication (ex- Morse Code), Learn braille,Go to the library and practice reading books in a foreign language ,Practice writing (great to do, Learn about the elements of writing, like allegory and metaphors, Play pranks (remember that good pranks cause confusion, not harm), Buy scratch offs/play the lottery, Understand how gambling addictions affect people, Dice and card games, Learn about good luck charms/Make your own, Learn about superstitions, Games like billiards or darts, Arcade/video games/carnival games, Make small/friendly bets, Poker nights in his honor, Do aGame of horseshoe, Learn parlor games, Smoke a bowl with Him, Learn a good joke, Write/perform stand up comedy, Checking your mail, Checking email/voicemail, Buying stamps, Flipping a coin, Dice divination, Charm casting, present a presentation in his honor, public speaking in his honor

Siblings• Aeacus, Angelos, Aphrodite, Apollo, Ares, Artemis, Athena, Dionysus, Eileithyia, Enyo, Eris, Ersa, Hebe, Helen of Troy, Hephaestus, Heracles, Minos, Pandia, Persephone, Perseus, Rhadamanthus, the Graces, the Horae, the Litae, the Muses, and the Moirai.

Appearance in astral or gen• Winged cap and boots, Traveller’s cloak, Youthful usually beardless figure or with a beard, with a Caduceus, sometimes seen with a mustache

Parentage• Zeus and the nymph Maia or Uranus and Hemera

Sacred days, festivals- Wednesday, the 4th day of the month, Hermaea, Agonius, in Cydonia social order was inverted for the festival and masters waited on their slaves, and slaves got to taste freedom.

Season• March, April, May, June (based on zodiacs)

Status• Messenger of the gods, and an underworld worker, he is called the darling of the gods

Music • anything from flutes or the lyre.

Sacred places• Mt Kyllene in Arkadia (his birthplace), Arcadia, mount Cyllene, Tricrena mountains, his Temples, his Cavern-shrines, Altars in market-places, gymnasiums, athletic arenas, house entrances.

Planet• mercury

Tarot• eight wands, magician, judgment, and maybe seven swords

Scents/Inscene • Frankensince, Myrrh incense, Lavender incense, strawberry, camphor, and malabathrumcock, storax, mastic, mace, moly, nettles, asafoetida, ginger, and marjolane, dragon’s blood incense, list cloves, tobacco, nag champa, poppy, and vanilla, ink on parchment, Musk, White Sandalwood, Nettles

His kids -Hermaphroditus, Tyche, Abderus, Autolycus, Eudorus, Angelia, and Myrtilus, Arabos, Abderos, Aithalides, Bounos, Daphinis, Ekhion, Eleusis (according to others, she was a minor goddess of Eleusinian Mysteries), Euandros, Kaikos, kephalos, keryx, kydon, libys, Mytilos, Norax, Orion, Paris, Paris, phaunos, polybos,saon

What I associate with him• rock music, bricks, dinosaurs, and wine (I promised to share my first cup of wine with him once I turn 21)

Some summarized myths •

Birth- Hermes was born from his mother Maia, the goddess of the fields, and his Father Zeus, he hid in a cave with his mother in Mt. Cyllene in Arcadia, the same day he was born (or when he was a toddler), he ran away while his mother was out, he stole cattle and turned their feet backwards, to 'trick' Apollo, he went back to the cave and made a fire and sacrificed 2 cows to catch the gods attention and ate 1 and hid the rest, outside after he ate he saw a tortoise feeding and cleaned it out and made strings together from a cow he ate, and made a lyre and a plectrum, and Apollo found him, furious he took him to his father and he denied everything and zeus found it hilarious, and he had to head back to the place where he hid the cattle, on the way he played the lyre, Apollo was enamored by it and asked for it and in return he would be his best friend and forgive him, and while helping Apollo tend to the cattle he made pan pipes, which Apollo made him a deal for his iconic golden snake staff and the skill of phropecy by using pebbles.

Killing Argos- Zeus had a lover Io, Who he was laying with in a field, Hera saw and strolled over, he struck in panic turned her into a cow, and Hera came over and demanded it as a gift, and zeus obliged, zeus in a panic asked Hermes to slay it, Hermes went to the cane where the all-seeing giant was, he lured him to sleep with a song, and when he was asleep, he slashed all his eyes and killed him, and took the cow, and in grief Hera turned the giant into a peacock to save the memory and to honor the giant. that's the myth where he gained the title 'Argos slayer'

Prayers•

Safe travels

Swift-footed Hermes, friend of the traveler, friend of those who find themselves far from their homes, by will or by chance, I pray to you. Hermes, who moves between the realms with authority and ease, who leads men and women on their last, longest journey, who stands at the crossroad, who watches the byways, in you I place my trust, for by your might I know that when I stumble I will rise again, that when I choose my way I will choose aright. Hermes, as I make my way through the world, whether I wander or whether I walk my path with care, be with me.

In general

Hermes of the ready wit and the lightning smile, wing-footed one who carries the words of the gods, compassionate one who guides the newly-dead to the hall of Hades and fair Persephone, quick-thinking one who takes interest in the world and works of mankind, whose hand we see in a run of luck and a clever scheme, I call to you. Hermes, bearer of the herald’s staff, your gifts are great. You guard our homes with constancy and care, you grant to us a portion of your own craft and wile, you join with us when we revel and are merry, you stand with us when we are far from home, alone. You are ever with us, O Hermes; O god who holds in hand the good of men, I honor you.

hestia & hermes for good money

I call to Hermes, god of the marketplace, god of the the deal, from whose hands fall shining coins. I call to Hestia, goddess of the home, goddess of good management, who knows the ways of thrift. Grant me a keen eye to spot a bargain, I pray; grant that I know false economy from true. Grant me the craft to repair what is broken, grant me the sufficiency to save for what may come. Grant me the wisdom to live with care, O gods, the discipline and skill to live within my means; grant me the wit to know my needs and my desires, grant me the judgment to know the difference.

This info is some UPG and some traditional, I do not find UPG disrespectful at all and some of it is my own experience, and I am not debating about it. My info is still valid, and I'm sure my sources is, just wanted to clarify this! Much love! I did get some info from other Tumblr users, I made this way back, I still update it, I dont own any of this information.

sources - https://twelfthremedy.tumblr.com/post/621849449656942592/hermes-offerings/amp

Wikipedia. “Agetor.” Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, 10 Nov. 2010. Web. 12 May 2011. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agetor.

Burkert, Walter. “The Gods.” Greek Religion. Basil Blackwell and Harvard UP, 1985. 156-59. Print.

The original book was published in Germany as Griechische Religion der archaischen und klassischen Epoche. by Verlag W. Kohlhammer, Stuttgart, copyright year 1977

1b) Atsma, Aaron J. “ESTATE, ATTRIBUTES & ATTENDANTS OF HERMES : Greek Mythology.” THEOI GREEK MYTHOLOGY, Exploring Mythology & the Greek Gods in Classical Literature & Art. 2000. Web. 13 Apr. 2011. http://www.theoi.com/Olympios/HermesTreasures.html, Wikipedia. “Agonius.” Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, 10 Nov. 2010. Web. 12 May 2011. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agonius, Wikipedia. “Agoraea.” Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, 26 June 2010. Web. 12 May 2011. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agoraeus, Wikipedia. “Chthonius.” Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia, 20 June 2011. Web. 26 June 2011. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chthonius,Wikipedia. “Hermes Trismegistus.” Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia, 9 June 2011. Web. 26 June 2011. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermes_Trismegistus., “Kriophoros.” Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia, 11 June 2011. Web. 26 June 2011. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kriophoros, Wikipedia. “Leucus.” Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia, 13 Feb. 2011. Web. 26 June 2011. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leucus, Atsma, Aaron J. “ESTATE, ATTRIBUTES & ATTENDANTS OF HERMES : Greek Mythology.” THEOI GREEK MYTHOLOGY, Exploring Mythology & the Greek Gods in Classical Literature & Art. 2000. Web. 13 Apr. 2011. http://www.theoi.com/Olympios/HermesTreasures.html, “CYLLENIUS, Greek Mythology Index.” MYTH INDEX, Greek Mythology. Myth Index, 2007. Web. 13 Apr. 2011. http://www.mythindex.com/greek-mythology/C/Cyllenius.html, Sannion. “Wildivine.org – Offeringsto Hermes.” Wildivine.org – Dionysos, Hermes, Nymphs and Pacific Northwest Polytheism. Wildvine.org. Web. 26 June 2011. http://www.wildivine.org/hermes_offerings.htm.1, Sannion. “Wildivine.org – Offerings to Hermes.” Wildivine.org – Dionysos, Hermes, Nymphs and Pacific Northwest Polytheism. Wildvine.org. Web. 12 May, http://www.wildivine.org/hermes_offerings.htm, Sannion. “Wildivine.org – Hermes’epithets.” Wildivine.org – Dionysos, Hermes, Nymphs and Pacific Northwest Polytheism. Wildvine.org. Web. 12 May 2011. http://www.wildivine.org/hermes_epithets.htm.

https://greekpagan.com/category/prayers-2/hermes/

https://journal.uny.ac.id/index.php/diksi/article/download/49223/18693#:~:text=The%20red%20or%20green%20color,one%20of%20the%20Olympic%20gods.

travelingthief.tumblr.comhttps://www.tumblr.com/themodernwitchsguide

I use resources, I do not own the info, and most deep dives have UPG (that I use in my work.) And I only take some information from sources. I am 14, this is my hobby, I am learning but I spent many hours and days on this, and I am always open to criticism. I have been doing worship for 5 years. Please know you can use the info, I do not sue, but I will take action if this work is used without permission and not put as a resource if used in any work. without permisson and not put as a resource if used in any work, for the public.

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