#Pump Hoses

[definegodliness]

Grand

I.

In that tiniest kitchen With the large second storey window Overlooking the patio, Which I couldn't recall If my life depended on it, I saw the future.

I was looking at you, And you had strung on an apron Like a statement:

I'm all in.

Not like a red dress with high heels.

All. In.

Then you handed me a knife, and Let your fingers linger, Caressing mine.

Chop.

As in:

Act. Decide. Want.

I cannot remember cooking or eating, But I can remember seeing the future.

You were Smiling a lot that day; Beautifully smiling, and, In hindsight, It was because you found out I did love you, That day.

I consider it my life's highest moment To see that joy of affirmation In your eyes.

Even if it took me another two months To realise I wasn't dreaming.

You kept pinching me Until I believed.

I love you.

When I heard you say it, I wore a smile I had seen before, but couldn't fathom Was for me, then.

II.

I was all yours, And you were all mine And for that one perfect moment in time We conquered eternity.

We did.

We saw.

We lost it all.

We touched A soul-birthing connection.

We kissed A lifetime beyond human comprehension.

We fucked For all And anything; The pleasure and pain Of wanting to be, but being unable To fuse into One Single being.

We died in that space which Separated The atoms Between

Us.

-- 21-7-2024, M.A. Tempels ©

[hollyhomburg]

i was gonna write today but then my washing machine AND my dishwasher broke within THREE HOURS OF EACH OTHER last night so it's looking like instead of writing about bily yoongi i will have to be a bily yoongi today.

[tex6689]

[sleeptoome]

Nina Hartley

[teddy-bear-naps-and-random-snaps]

[betagrove]

That tweet about each ai prompt wasting a full 16oz of water isn't true like at all

[fatass-thembo]

Have had nothing to do at work, so my head is just *filled* with horny thoughts. I want to be a fatass pear *now*. Fuck waiting I need it NOW!

[simsinter]

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[whereimnotme]

Photo taken during climate action protest in Canberra, January 2020, featuring another of ScoMo’s tone deaf quotes - ‘thankfully we’ve had no loss of life’ - from that ill-fated small town PR tour.

"Yes, two, that's quite right. I was thinking about firefighters really," said Morrison, before expressing his "sincere condolences" for the 27 lives lost during the ongoing disaster.

Officially, 33 people were ultimately killed directly by fires that summer with another estimated 445 people dying from smoke inhalation.

Meanwhile the PM fucked off to Hawaii on holiday.

I am still incandescent with rage.

I just spent some time scrolling through this blog and am suffering from sever laughter. Thanks so much for collating the countries craziest moments. One of my favourites is when Scott Morrison was in Hawaii while the bushfires where burning.

December 2019: As Australia's east coast is engulfed in the worst bushfires in living memory, rumours begin to circulate that Australia's Prime Minister Scott Morrison may have secretly fucked off for a holiday in Hawaii.

Keep in mind, this is what is going down in Australia at the time:

The Hawaii rumour is initially written off as a fringe conspiracy, because surely nobody could be that fuckin tonedeaf, and it was quickly forgotten about... until an Australian man visiting Hawaii UPLOADED A SELFIE ON THE BEACH WITH THE PM THROWING A SHAKA.

At which point all hell broke loose.

Overnight the formerly popular "Scomo" became the most despised man in all of Australia. Think "firefighters shouting out of their windows to news cameras" level of despised.

After about two days of radio silence and pretending like he was still at home running the country, the Prime Minister's handlers finally dragged him onto call with an Australian radio station, where he pinky promised to return to Australia as fast as he could in an attempt to calm things down.

Unfortunately Scott's empathy consultant (a real job) then had to watch Scott pour more gasoline on the dumpster fire by uttering the now famous phrase "Look I don't hold a hose mate" when asked by the radio interviewer why the fucking fuck the fuckhead wasn't fucking in Australia doing his fucking job during a massive fucking crisis.

Testing just how much worse things could get, Scomo then proceeded to NOT rush back to Australia as promised, instead attempting to complete the rest of his holiday, a fact that was exposed when a passerby snapped a picture of him still lounging on the beach two days later.

Eventually, holiday complete, Morrison did reluctantly slink back to Australia, and in an attempt to calm things down, he decided to pay a visit to a small town that had been destroyed by the fires.

Which was a big mistake.

Scomo still had not registered how absolutely and totally he had screwed the poodle with his Hawaiian beach vacation, and he walks into what is now taught in PR classes as one of the greatest examples of "what not do do in a crisis" in all of history.

Scotty from Marketing, as he is now dubbed by the nation, spends a painfully cringe-inducing hour wandering around a burned down town with TV news cameras in tow, having to FORCE PEOPLE TO SHAKE HIS HAND in what is some of the most awkward footage you will ever see.

At this point it's probably also worth mentioning that, before becoming Prime Minister, Scott Morrison's biggest claim to fame in politics was being the guy that was so far up the coal lobby's arse that he literally brought coal into parliament and waved it around, claiming it doesn't hurt people.

So when a protest was organised it turned out to be one big national fuck you to the Prime Minister, the likes of which the world has never seen before or since.

Needless to say, at this point Scomo's career was dead in the water, but thanks to the rules brought in to stop Australian political parties from knifing their leader every two weeks (a popular Aussie passtime) Morrison basically couldn't get fired until after the next election.

And so, when the election rolled around in 2022, we decided that was an opportune time to travel over to Hawaii to erect this bad boy tribute to the Prime Minister, on the very beach where Scomo had sat and drank margaritas that one fateful week in December as Australia burned (thanks to @chaser for funding the ticket)

[sleeptoome]

Linda Bareham

[qingflex]

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[vihflex]

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