#Protective Bucky

[buckyalpine]

Soft King Bucky

Im in the middle of writing this smutty fic with arranged marriage and King Bucky and in the middle of writing it, i had another thot pop up which I have to get out right now like RIGHT NOW. 

Imagine soft king Bucky on your wedding night. Its the first time you’ve ever been intimate with someone and your anxiety has been high all night because you know the maids and servants will inspect the sheets the next morning, your honor and dignity thrown to the wind.

But that's the way things were. 

You gave yourself to him, letting him touch you and make love to you, sealing the both of you together as you had promised in your vows. He was careful and soft, cradling your body to his, focused on knowing you would be protected along his side, putting your pleasure before his.

You wanted to melt into him, feel every ounce of the love he was willing to give but anxiety held you from letting go, worried about the aftermath, worried about if he see you were pure. 

The euphoria that consumed you both pulsed through you as you sat up, your stomach dropping at the stark white sheets. You scrambled up slightly in hopes of something but the sheets were anything but tainted, pure and clean as if you’d never laid on his bed. 

“I’m-I’m sorry-” Tears well in your eyes, panic rising in your chest, fearing the anger he’d feel, seeing you as tainted and impure. 

“What for darling” He whispered, concerned etched on his face as you let out a choked sob, not knowing what you could possibly go, there was no evidence to show you were pure, untouched before him, to show that he was the only man to have you this way. You squeezed your legs shut, curling up in a ball, shame consuming you, already hearing the words the kingdom would brand you. “My princess?” 

“I didn’t-I don’t understand, the sheets- you’re the only one I’ve-” You trembled as he pulled you into his arms, shutting your eyes, unable to watch his disappointment when he saw who he married. Bucky’s brows furrowed, taking a moment to understand why you were so distressed, hiding your face away. He thought over your words, tension crawling up his back, his jaw clenching when he understood your fear. He wrapped his arms tightly around you, keeping you close to his chest, pressing a firm kiss to your head, his lips brushing your hair as he spoke.  

“I agreed to marry the intelligent and headstrong princess to rule by my side because her mind and beauty had my heart when I saw her. A fierce woman fit to be by me, when she rode her horse into my kingdom alone, demanding justice for her people without fear of what could happen to her” 

He reminisced the day you strode into his castle, head held high, not a drop of fear in your eyes with a dagger strapped to your hip, sword firm in your hand.

He fell in love before you opened your sweet lips to tell him right off. 

“Look at me princess” He cupped your cheeks making you meet his intense gaze, thumbing away the tears that streaked your cheeks, “I shared my bed with you because I wanted to love you in in every way possible, not as a test of your worth” 

You were still tensed, curling up into him further while he moved you to lay on top of him, your head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. He pulled the covers over you, protecting you in a cocoon of warmth, tilting your chin to meet his eyes again. 

“You have my heart, that is as pure as it gets” tucking your hair away from your face, pulling you in for a kiss to your lips. “No one else gets to decide that, princess, no one” 

[maivolpe]

Can I request Bucky being protective of reader? 😊

of course nonnie! thank you for requesting, i hope you enjoy ♡

･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ.

pairing: bucky barnes x reader cw: none wc: 617

you had finally convinced bucky to come grocery shopping with you, after hours of unsuccessful attempts to drag him out the door. you were both bundled in your matching hoodies. you swore blue was “his color,” and of course you got one too.

you’d been trying to get him to go out more, just so that he could feel normal for a few hours. doing mundane tasks made him happier than he would admit.

you had already snapped ten pictures of him on the way in, causing his cheeks to warm as he pulled his hood up. he just looked so beautiful to you, his eyes scrunching up when he smiled for what felt like the first time in a while.

you let him follow you through the produce aisle, but the two of you split up so he could go to the deli and you could replenish your baking supplies. you knew nothing about meat, and while he could bake, that was your claim to fame.

unfortunately for you, there was a man at the end of the aisle. you tried your best to shop from your side, mentally checking ingredients off of your list.

you felt his eyes on you as you looked down the shelves for chocolate chips. please don’t say anything, just let me get my chocolate and leave.

“hi!”

ugh.

you sent a tight-lipped smile his way, turning your attention back to the chocolate chips.

he moved closer to you, and you felt in your pocket for your keys. an overreaction? maybe. but then again, men didn’t normally approach you at the grocery store. he was wiry, but you didn’t want to take chances.

“you’re beautiful,” he confessed. he watched you expectantly, waiting. what did he want, a medal?

“oh! um, thank you.” you smiled, though it didn’t reach your eyes. clutching onto your hoodie sleeve, you tugged at it to avoid looking at him.

“i’m sorry for being so forward, but could i get your number?”

hadn’t he seen you come in with bucky? you guys were matching, for god’s sake.

“no thank you,” you smiled apologetically. “i actually have a boyfriend.”

he laughed, holding his phone out to you. “i’m sure he won’t mind.”

a beat of silence passed as you processed what he had just said. what could you even say now? you’d already turned him down once, and he clearly had no regard for your existing relationship. could you walk away?

before you could think to do anything, strong arms snaked around your waist and you relaxed, letting yourself melt under the familiar touch. it wasn’t like you couldn’t take care of yourself, you both knew that you could, but it was comforting to have him by your side.

“hey doll,” he rumbled, leaning over your shoulder and catching your lips in a passionate kiss. you broke it eventually out of embarrassment, your cheeks tinged with red at the wide eyes of the man across you. “thought i lost you,” bucky continued.

“‘m right here,” you squeaked, caught in the middle of the two men. you felt better with bucky behind you, but the other man’s face was beginning to redden.

“who’s this?” bucky asked, his eyes narrowing as if he hadn’t been keeping an eye on you across the aisle.

“i didn’t actually catch your name, mister…?”

“never mind,” the man spat, turning on his heel and stalking away.

bucky chuckled, the vibrations from his laugh tickling your shoulder. he adjusted his grip on your waist, squeezing you tighter. “you doing okay darling?”

“yeah, but that was mean, buck,” you groaned.

he smirked, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “so is he. i’m sure he won’t mind.”

･｡ﾟ: ∘◦☾◦∘｡ﾟ.

ko-fi ♡

[bucky-barnes-lover]

Hey, I was wondering if you could do something with Bucky Barnes x Female Reader where she makes Bucky jealous by flirting with Steve? I have a thing for jealous Bucky🥵😍

So....... Ik it's been a while but I've had a pretty fucking busy week due to going in and out of the hospital and other shit, but here is the fic u requested. Hope u like it.

Bucky Barnes x fem!reader: Jealousy Jealousy

⚠️ Warnings: ⚠️ Pure filthy smut. Unprotected P in V. Jealous Bucky. Curse words (To be expected if u know my writing style)

W.C: 725

"So can I buy you a drink?" I asked Steve, eyeing his freshly ironed blue suit. "Are you drunk y/n?? You do realise you are engaged, yes?" He questioned, clearly concerned as to why I was flirting with my fiancé's best friend.

Oh, I knew very well that I was sober, I just liked to make Bucky jealous occasionally. Well more often than not, at nearly every party at the compound I found a way to make him want to show everyone who I belonged to. And there was a party every weekend, So quite often the night would end in Bucky grabbing my arm and dragging me to our room. 

Today was no different. A couple winks and brushing along Steve's arm got Bucky on his feet. In 3 long strides he was next to me, caressing my waist. "Do you realise what you're doing to me doll?" He whispered in my ear, his voice silky and rich. "I was just offering to buy Stevie here a drink" I responded, immediately regretting the decision of calling Steve Stevie. "So it's Stevie now is it? I thought only Tony called him that." He replied, Jealousy creeping up in his voice.

I could just about make out the soft mutter of 'Get a Room' escaping Steve's lips. I giggled to myself as I tried to keep the moan slipping from my mouth as Bucky brushed his soft and gentle lips along my neck, his thumb roughly digging into my hips as he continued caressing my waist.

A couple minutes later we were in our room. Clothes long forgotten on the beige carpet and instead the feeling of Bucky's comforting stubble roaming my body. No longer trying to keep it hidden, I let the moans fall freely from deep within my throat. I could've sworn I may have growled a couple times but Buck didn't seem to mind. 

I could feel his warm breath nearing my sex and I shuddered at the thought of having him inside me once again. He ripped off my panties and threw them on the floor as he spread my legs open. He leaned his head down and buried his face in my pussy. Bucky's nose brushed against my clit as his tongue slipped through my folds and along my entrance. Working his tongue expertly through. 

Eager moans escaped my lips as his tongue started playing with my clit. I could feel the familiar sensation run through my body, tingly and pleasurable. Bucky lifted his head from in-between my thighs and looked up at me with his bright green eyes smirking.

I let out an annoyed moan at the audacity of this man. "You were annoying me earlier, so now I'll annoy you." He said with a knowing smile.

Bucky unzipped his jeans and threw them aside along with his boxers. I could feel his hard cock against my pussy and with one swift thrust he was inside of me. He started with soft thrusts, so I could adjust to his size but within seconds it was pure filthy, rough sex. 

"Fuck, Bucky please." I wasn't even sure what I was begging for but his thrusts became more and more powerful. Our loud moans echoed around the room as well as the sound of skin hitting skin. "Fuck, Baby. You feel so good" Bucky moaned thrusting deeper inside of me, "Fuck" was all I could respond with. Gosh he felt good.

Eventually Bucky's thrusts became lazy and the same familiar feeling boiled up inside of me as he hit my g-spot thrust after thrust. Soft moans escaped my lips "I'm close baby, I'm close" I moaned as my walls clenched around his thick cock. "Uhhh. You feel so good babydoll." He responded, "Cum for me."

He continued rubbing my clit with his vibranium fingers and I let out a loud moan as relief washed over me. "Uhhh, Bucky" I moaned as I came undone under him. Within seconds after me, Bucky moaned out my name and I felt hot cum explode into my wet pussy. 

After helping clean me up, Bucky caressed my body with kisses and massaged my back. Laying on his chest for hours on end just talking and enjoying the soft tingle his hands left behind after touching me. 

Well, Making Bucky jealous isn't a bad idea 😉.

[holylulusworld]

I know you know but I have to say that I'm not sorry 🤣😂

Not an angst idea I swear. But GIFs talk to me. Not my fault. Anyway.

You are in a pub with friends and Bucky is there too but on a mission. You can't talk or anything (too risky) You are quite drunk, boys try to flirt with you and want a bit more, you refuse obviously, until one starts to act like dickhead.

From the corner of his eyes, he didn't miss one scene and he's right next to you and kicks out the moron who dared to touch you.

Okay...lemme see.

He's fuming. It's the worst time to get distracted but Bucky can't help it. Some douchebags try to hit on what's his. His girl. His doll.

Bucky squares his jaw and balls his metal hand into a fist.

"Bucky, don't. We can't risk blowing our cover," Sam whispers, hoping Bucky doesn't crush the earpiece, as he watches his partner watch you from afar. "James. No. She got this."

It's pure torture. Bucky must watch guy after guy hit on you. You dismiss them. Of course, you do. You only have eyes for Bucky who's only a few feet away.

You don't look at him, though. It's too risky. The last thing you want to do is blow his cover and put Sam and Bucky in danger.

"You're a sexy little bitch," the next guy slurs in your ear. He leans too close for comfort and dares to put his hand on your bare shoulder.

Red. Alert.

Bucky rises from his seat. He strides toward you and the douche touching you. In a split second Bucky grabs the hand on your shoulder, twisting it painfully until the man cries out.

"That's my girl," his rough and deep voice sends a shiver through your whole body. You watch Bucky drag the man out of the club, growling insults before he kicks the douche out.

"Sorry," you mouth at Sam. Your friend shrugs as the target didn't show yet.

"Doll, we go," you squeak as Bucky suddenly stands beside you. He grabs your purse and glares at your friends who left you alone.

"Bucky," you whisper as your boyfriend covers your shoulders with his leather jacket. His scent surrounds you when his arm curls around your shoulder.

"He touched you. I had to make sure he knows you are only mine..."

[hopelessromantic5]

I thought it would be fitting to post a sick-fic snippet, considering the upper-respiratory infection I’ve had for the past week has been kicking my ass.

So this is a little Bucky taking care of sick Buck fic.

Thank you for reading.

Gale went to sleep at Thorpe Abbots.

When his eyes shot open, he was in complete darkness. The only sounds in the room were the soft even breaths of his fellow officers.

Something was balled up in Gale’s stomach. This must’ve been what woke him.

God he hadn’t felt real nausea like this since he was a kid.

It’s alright. He tells himself. Just lie still and it will go away. Just calm down. Breathe, in and out. Calm yourself. It’s fine. It’ll go away.

Another roll of pain and discomfort had him up on his feet and bolting out the door before he could think twice.

He just made it outside behind the building before the contents of his stomach emptied into the grass.

Gale leaned against the bricks, heaving, tears streaming down his face.

God, how he hated it. The lack of control, the inability to stop it. Forced to endure until it’s over.

He felt himself drop to the ground, curling into his own body, trying to slow his breathing. Trying to get rid of that awful scratchy feeling in the back of his throat.

He blindly wiped at his face with the bottom of his tshirt, hoping he hadn’t been loud or interrupted anyone’s sleep.

It reminded him too much of the terrible nights of his childhood, fresh bruises already blackening around his cheek, under his ribs, the pain swirling behind his eyelids causing the sickness before little Gale could get it under control.

“Buck?” A voice called out, whispering, but still too loud for the dead of night.

Gale didn’t have the energy to respond.

Footsteps grew near.

“Buck! Hey,” a body crouched near him, gentle hands settling on his shoulders, like a blanket.

When Gale didn’t lift his head immediately, Bucky, softly, barely touching him, placed his rough hand on Gale’s cheek, calling the other man to meet his eyes.

When John felt the wetness of tears under his palm, his brows furrowed further in concern, if that were possible.

“Hey, doll, what’s the matter?” He whispered.

Gale must’ve been really really tired. The term of endearment didn’t seem out of place, it didn’t jolt his system the way it would in any other instance, it just seemed right.

As if he were expecting John to call him that.

A second hand moved, so Buck’s face was effectively caged in by John’s grasp. It was only then he realized the heat Gale’s skin was radiating.

“You’re burning up, Gale. We need to get you back into bed.”

Gale finally lifted himself from his hiding place, meeting John’s eyes. He’d never seen that kind of worry there before.

“You called me Gale.” He mumbled before he could think about it.

John huffed a laugh, shaking his head.

“Because I knew it would get you to pay attention.” He stands, and gently places one of Buck’s arms around his own broad shoulders.

“I can walk.” He mumbled, yet disproving his own point when he practically slumped into John with all his body weight, tucking his face into his neck. Gale huffed, wanting to be embarrassed, but finding he was rather annoyed at relying on John for yet another thing. Relying on anyone for anything is bad enough, but John doesn’t need a burden like him. He should be free, like a bird.

Gale is beginning to think, in the only rational part of his mind left, that there may be something wrong with him.

Maybe he’d been poisoned.

A snort followed his poor attempt at being right,

“Sure, doll. If you say so.”

Bucky practically carried him all the way back inside, he smelled like fresh air and lucky strikes with just a hint of something simply titled ‘John’, it could never be recreated, Buck knows.

Once settled under his blankets, warm and content, John smiles softly at him.

“Get some rest, Gale.”

“Thank you, John.” He whispered, watching the silhouette of the other man freeze and the continue his journey back to his bunk, without looking back.

A sad, pathetic sigh escaped him before he drifted off into an awful, fitful sleep.

When he woke again, he was sweating, and it was bright enough in the room to blind him when his eyes creaked opened.

Then he caught onto the silence of his surroundings. No quiet murmurs of morning. No shuffling feet.

Daylight.

Silence.

Oh God, the meeting, the mission.

“Oh, fuck.” He says before he can remember he isn’t supposed to.

He’s up and getting dressed before he can even breathe.

He’s late. He’s so incredibly late, the captain is going to have his ass.

Oh, no.

“Whoa, whoa.” A hand on his chest settles his rushed movements. “Slow your roll there, cowboy.” Bucky just walked through the door, holding, what looks like, soup in a cup?

“Bucky, I’m late. What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be helping Curt with flight check?” Gale is confused as to why either one of them are still here talking, and why no one woke him up.

A small smile appeared on John’s face, stilling Gale once again.

“What’s with the face?”

Bucky shook his head,

“Leave it to you to be deathly ill and still be worried about flight check.”

Gale looks at him like he’s crazy, which makes it even funnier.

“I’m not sick, John.”

“Tell that to your hundred and four degree fever.”

“What-how do you-“ Buck stopped, huffing in a breath. He probably looks ridiculous, one pant leg on and no shirt, with a sock halfway rolled up his foot. “Why are you here, then? If I’m sick, you could catch it. I shouldn’t even be in here, I should stay in the med tent.” He’s babbling.

Bucky has been watching him with wide eyes. He’s never seen Gale so ruffled, and stuttering.

He’s never seen him so not put-together.

He loves it. He’s drinking up the sight like water, though he does feel a pinch of guilt and hurt that Gale had to be sick in order for him to see this side of him.

“It’s a cold, Buck. Your body just needs some rest and it’s forcing you to get it, the only way it knows how.” Bucky turned back to something that he had discarded on his bed.

“You are not late, so you can stop having a panic attack and lay back down. I already told the Captain that you were sick. It’s not contagious. And I’m not leaving you here, sick and alone.”

For once, Gale went without a fuss.

He was exhausted.

“I brought you some pills. Doc said they should help.” John said, offhand.

The words send Gale spinning into a future he’d never imagined before. One where he and Bucky are living in a nice humble house with a few acres out back. John brings home the paper from town and they gossip about the neighbors while they drink coffee in the morning, huddled together on the porch swing. Maybe a good hound at their feet.

“Buck?” That warm hand returned to his face, this time feeling his forehead.

“Jesus, Buck, I’ve never felt skin this hot.”

“Careful,” Gale huffed a laugh. “You’re gonna give a fella an ego too big for his boots.”

John seemed to think this was funny too. Fond amusement colored his eyes, clear skies on a moonlit night.

“Maybe you could use a little ego, Saint Cleven. You’re too humble.” The hand that had previously taken his temperature by touch, carded its fingers through Gale’s hair. Sweaty blond locks that had fallen over his forehead were pushed back, cool air on his face more prevalent. It felt good while at the same time, sent shivers down his spine.

[danger-to-myself]

Protective Bucky

First fic in years! Let's see if I can keep this up.

Plot: Bucky x Reader. Young woman was captured by Hydra for the use of her fire powers. Bucky finds her beaten to a pulp at a raided Hydra base. Based on that scene from FaTWS when Bucky spots Karli in the truck and gets all soft, but this time the girl is actually in trouble.

TWs: Violence, injuries in this chapter. There will be more warnings in the next chapters, so keep an eye on them.

Chapter 1/?

Steve, Nat, Sam, and Bucky took a mission to track a handful of semitrucks that are believed to lead to a hydra base. The managed to attach trackers to four trucks with Sam’s redwing flying unseen after they found all four leave a warehouse. Back at the tower, they watched as they all split apart and go separate directions, but all of them end up in the middle of nowhere upstate. The team’s satellite doesn’t even have a building registered at the trucks’ location.

The four of them set out to the location in a quinjet, ready for another hydra raid. They arrive in the dark, early morning. Sam stays back to monitor them from above with Friday’s satellite view and give the team some heads-up for any hydra agents. They hesitate to attack at first, but Sam’s voice comes into their earpieces.

“Sure enough,” Sam says from back in the quinjet. “Armed guards around the building with hydra logos on their jackets.”

The rest of the team were hidden in the woods surrounding a large, dark green facility. Hardly any lights break through the darkness. This base definitely tried, and succeeded for a short while, to stay off of shield’s radar. Sam, Steve, and Nat go in for the attacks. After taking down the guards, inside of the base they were not well secured, and it fell quickly. They were not prepared for an attack tonight and it ended as soon as it began. Nat saves intel from the base while they call in more shield agents to arrest the hydra team. At this point, the sun has begun to rise. Steve and Nat are handling arrests and dismantling the base, but Sam finds something for Bucky to handle.

“Bucky, one of those vans isn’t empty.” Sam tells Bucky directly.

“Yeah, Sam. We will clear them out later after they get rid of everyone.” Bucky responds, walking to find where Steve went off to.

“No,” Sam says quietly. “There’s a girl inside that last one in the back.”

Bucky pauses mid-step. The last one wasn’t one they had been tracking. Who knows where it came from, or what was planned for it. “A girl?” Bucky asks back.

“I think so. Friday’s satellite isn’t getting a clear image through the thick metal truck.”

“I’ll keep you posted.” Bucky walks over to the back of the truck and breaks the lock off with his metal arm. Carefully, he opens the door, just in case it’s a trap. It’s dark in the truck, but the light from the rising sun slowly fills it. The truck is mostly filled with boxes, stuff the team will have to go through later. First, Bucky has another issue. In the right side, surely enough, is a girl tucked into the last bit of shadows. Torn, dirty clothes and covered in dried blood. Her dark, messy hair is draped over her face and she's leaning on one bent knee. She’s probably in her early 20s, but looks so small in this situation.

“Woah. Hey,” Bucky said softly to avoid startling her. “Are you hurt?”

The girl looks up and bucky doesn’t read any fear on her face. There is, however, marks and bruises all over. “Back off! Haven’t you had enough?” She yells, more tired than afraid.

“Hey now, I’m not gonna hurt you,” Bucky says, opening the door as far as it’ll go. “Did Hydra do this to you?”

The girl makes a look of surprise in her eyes. “Bucky Barnes?”

“That’s me, is that okay?”

“Holy shit,” she says with a cough. “You gotta get me out of here”

“Are you hurt?’ Bucky asks, hoping into the truck and crouching beside her.

“They beat the shit out of me.” She said shakily. Untucking her knee from her chest. Her pants are torn and stained, one shoe is missing, and her shirt is dirty and covered in blood, and she is decorated in black and blue. “I think my ankle is snapped. They got sick of my bullshit I guess.”

“We’ll get you out of here and safe,” Bucky quickly calls Steve and Nat for backup. “What did you do to piss them off?”

“I escaped.” She tries to lean back but winces and holds her wrist.

Bucky sat down and helped her lean onto the wall of the truck. “Escaped?”

“Yeah,” she says. “The took me when I was really young, when they found out about me. I never bought any of their shit. For years, I hoped the avengers would save me from them, but they kept me in their most secret bases to avoid just that. I finally managed to run away during a mission 6 months ago, but yesterday they caught up with me. They want me alive, guess ‘m valuable, but needed to ‘teach me a lesson’ about who’s in charge.” She continues, while tracing the bruises on her arm with her fingertips, not making eye contact.

“What do you mean by ‘they found out’ about you?” Bucky says.

“Promise not to get scared if I promise I’m on your side?” She says while sticking a pinky out.

“I promise. You can’t scare me.” Bucky accepts the pinky promise.

After letting go, she raises her hand, palm up, and a small flame lights in the middle. As quickly as it begins, she closes her palm, and it goes out.

“Fire?” Bucky says, a little surprised.

“Yeah. Pretty weak right now, all things considered. But hydra finds it useful for. You know.”

“Yep, I do unfortunately. I’ll be here if you need someone who understands.” Bucky sighs, and sits next to her.

A few more minutes pass before Steve and Nat get there.

“Oh shit.” Steve says, looking at Nat. Natasha is trying to hide it, but the look on her face is horror at the thought of what happened. Bucky goes to help the girl up, but she can hardly handle the weight. Bucky carries her to the jet. By the time they get inside, she's barely conscious.

[mrsbarnes-avenger]

Bucky threatening someone because they touched you 🥰

[lillygwenstacy]

Hold me close part 1

biker dad Bucky Barnes x mom reader

"You think you could sell drugs near the school and get away with it easily? I don't think so."

Bucky was on the verge of breaking someone's neck, more specifically the guy who was tied up in a chair. His face was hidden by his hair so no one could see his bloody face.

This guy was selling drugs near the school where his daughter goes and that was a breaking point for Bucky.

"Buck don't do something you'll regret later. Parker clean up the mess" Steve pulled Bucky out of that room and moved into the meeting hall where the rest was waiting.

Bucky started to pace. He knew he couldn't control everything but then when it comes to his daughter, he'll burn the world down.

"Bucky slows down, take breaths or should I call y/n?" Everyone knows that there are only two people in the world who could make Bucky calm. His daughter Rebecca Barnes and his wife y/n Barnes.

"I don't care Steve I want every place a clean sweep and no trace of drugs. If so, just killing off, makes it easier. "

Bucky was shouting that he didn't notice the door slightly open, nor did he notice his daughter freeze hearing her father's voice booming.

Rebecca wanted to show Bucky her new drawing before going to school. Y/n took Becca to surprise Bucky before going to school.

"Hey, Becca whatcha doing here?" Peter came and saw Becca frozen.

As soon as she heard Peter she raced towards her mom who was waiting outside.

"Hey, Becca ready to go?" Y/n strapped Becca to her seat and all Becca could do was give y/n a nod. She never heard her dad raising his voice.

[buckyalpine]

Safe Space

18+

This is an angsty fic none of you asked for but it popped in my head after I wrote that subby space fic and now I must put it out into the world so you can all suffer with me.

Lots of angst with protective Bucky, please read the warnings

Warnings: Abuse relationship, Ignoring use of safe word, rough sex, deep subby space non verbal reader, little violence, protective and comforting Bucky, Steve, Sam and Tony, some fluff 

Bucky paused as he walked down the hall, he could hear your whimpers from behind your bedroom, the sound of slapping skin carrying through the door. He frowned, hearing you repeatedly call something out, your voice cracking. 

"Shut up-just fucking shut up and take it!" Your boyfriend roared, ignoring you repeatedly crying out your safe word, desperately trying to crawl away as he held you down harder. “Take it, c’mon, let me use your slutty pussy” 

“F-FIRE” You cried out one last time before collapsing and sobbing, your pussy sore and puffy. You couldn’t even feel your hands anymore, the rope binding them cutting off your circulation, you buried your face into the mattress to muffle your cries. “P-Please st-stop”

Bucky saw red hearing your pained whimpers, wasting no time ready to kick down the door right at the elevator opened with Steve, Sam and Tony walking out. 

"What the fuck happened” Tony could see Bucky’s metal fist ready to break into your room, the three of them running over, eyes growing wide when they heard your sobs. 

“He’s hurting her” Bucky looked to Tony frantically, bile rising in his throat, heading the slam of his unrelenting thrusts bruising you, your voice growing soft from sheer exhaustion. 

“Friday, unlock y/n’s door, NOW” Tony commanded, ready to tear your boyfriends limbs off his body for touching you.

“Right away sir” 

Your boyfriends eyes shot up, stilling when he heard the door click open, all four men bursting through without a second thought. He growled, still inside you, gripping onto you harder while you were still frozen in fear, the air from the open door making you shiver. You whimpered in pain, tears making it too difficult to see who had come in but at this point all you wanted was for the ache to stop. 

“What the fuck are you- Your boyfriend was cut short with Bucky’s fist connecting to his jaw, ready to drag him off to a corner where no one would hear him scream  but he couldn’t do that when he saw you. 

“GET THE FUCK OFF HER” Tony growled while Steve grabbed your boyfriend, throwing him off you and dragging him out with Sam and Tony. Bucky clenched his fist, desperately wanting to rip your boyfriend into pieces but he stayed rooted in place, nearly crying when he saw your bare body curled up in pain. 

“Sweetheart?” Bucky carefully sat on the edge of the bed, his heart breaking at the bruises that littered your skin, the skin raised from where he had repeatedly spanked you. You whimpered, shivering when you felt his cool metal hand touch your molten hot skin. You couldn’t register what was happening around you anymore, feeling too raw and open, your mind slipping off the deep end needing to be held. You wanted to cry and scream and be small and have someone comfort you, take care of you. Bucky carefully pulled the rope that held your wrists together, his jaw clenching at the rope burn that wrapped around your arms. 

"Daddy!" You scrambled up and clung onto Bucky, registering his soft scent, the one person you felt safe around, his protective arms carrying you away. Bucky's eye grew wide at what you had just called him, deciding to ignore it and take care of your first. He carried you over to his room, his heart beating out of his chest at the way you clung onto him, still softly crying. He sat with you on his bed, trying to cover you up with his sheet but you didn’t let go of him, attached to him like a little koala. 

“Daddy” You whimpered, against his neck, not wanting to leave his safe arms, pain throbbing everywhere but you needed to be held, protected. You gripped onto him tighter, trembling uncontrollably. 

"Call me James, y/n" Bucky tried to pull you out from where you were drowning but you couldn't surface. You shook your head, clinging onto him, melting into the warmth of his body, his gentle firm touch soothing you. 

"Daddy" 

"Alright, alright, m'here" Bucky cooed, stroking your hair, covering you as much as he could with his thick arms, softly rubbing your back. He decided against asking you anything, noting the way you were nearly non verbal, your tears falling onto his shirt. He tucked you against his body, keeping you nestled right against him, tensing and holding you tighter when he heard the door of his room open. He let out the breath he was holding when he saw Steve quietly make his way over, though still holding onto you protectively, not ready to let his guard down for anyone after how he had just seen you. 

“Y/n?” Steve crouched by the bed to check on you, his mouth going dry seeing the parts of your skin that were battered. “Are you hurt? Do you want us to get Dr. Cho?” You peeked up at him with owlish eyes, still filled with fear, your mouth glued shut. You let out a soft whine, flinching at the throbbing pain that still coursed through your body. Fresh tears spilled down your cheeks before hiding away again, trying to disappear into Bucky’s chest. 

"Can you use your words for me sweet heart" Steve whispered while you shook your head, curling into Bucky's arms further. You couldn’t see what was happening but you knew Bucky and Steve had silently communicated with their eyes. The door softly close and it was back to just you and Bucky. 

“Doll?” Bucky whispered, gently tilting your face so you’d meet his soft blue eyes. “Steve’s right angel, we just need to see if you’re hurt anywhere. Can you sit back a little for me?” 

You whimpered, reluctantly crawling out of Bucky's lap, wrapping your arms around yourself instead, keeping your knees tucked right against your chest. 

"I just want to see if you're okay bubba" He smiled softly, hoping to coax you out of staying in a ball. Bucky felt bile rise in his throat, he didn't even want to know what you had endured in the bed room; dark bruises covered your wrists, scratch marks down your back. You squirmed from where you sat, your ass had been spanked raw like no tomorrow. He could see the indents of teeth marks on your neck and shoulders, the outline of a handprint on one of your cheeks. 

“Oh doll” Bucky felt his eyes sting, pushing the tears away so he could tend to your injures first. He quickly went to the bathroom, rummaging through the cabinet for some aloe gel, hoping the cool lotion would ease some of the pain. 

“Are you okay with me touching you y/n?” 

You nodded, moving to lay down on your tummy where it hurt less, resting your head on his pillow. A part of your mind felt self conscious that you were still naked but the need to have someone touch you gently over threw the need for clothes. You let out a cry when he started to softly rub the angry lines down your back, the sting seeping in deeper. 

“Sorry baby, I’ll be gentle” Bucky cooed, careful to avoid any areas that had open scratches. He blew over the places he’d used the gel on to cool your skin, slowly working down your body. He blinked back tears every time he heard you whimper, your body flinching if he used the slightest bit of pressure. “You’re okay, you’re okay, doing good for me sweets” Bucky soothed as he continued to lightly work the lotion onto your bum. “Are you still okay with me touching you y/n?” 

You nodded, letting him finish what he was doing, exhaustion washing over you with his soft ministrations. Bucky sat you up, reassuring you he wasn’t going to leave you as he went to his closet to grab you one of his Henleys. He slipped it over your head before grabbing a brush and carefully detangling your hair, using his fingers for the larger knots from where it had been pulled. You didn’t say anything else for the rest of the night, crawling into Bucky’s arms again as he laid you down to sleep, unable to keep your eyes open anymore. 

*****

Bucky’s eyes shot open hearing a pained scream tear from your throat, your eyes squeezed shut, cold sweat covering your body, deep in a nightmare. Your hands gripped onto his sheets, the skin on your palms nearly breaking with the way you dug your nails in. Bucky gently shook you awake, wrapping his arms around you when you tried to scramble away from fear, confused over the unfamiliar room that wasn’t your own. 

“Hey, hey it’s me y/n, it’s me” Bucky rubbed your back while you struggled to breath, your labored breaths melting into cries. 

“He-he wouldn’t-st-stop” you sobbed out, your whole body shaking, the feeling of his hands on you still lingering on your skin. “I-told him it was to-to-to much” 

You clung onto Bucky as he silently rocked you, letting you cry away all the pent up fear you had held inside. You grew restless, needing something more, chasing the feeling of his hand rubbing your back. 

‘I-I need-” You couldn’t get the words out, needing to feel him, surrounded by nothing but softness, his protectiveness, struggling to ground yourself. Bucky thought for a moment, noting you fidgeting with the hem of the shirt, trying to nuzzle against him further. 

“Are you okay with skin on skin contact doll?” Bucky asked gently while you frantically nodded. He tossed his shirt off before helping you out of yours, bringing you to lay on his chest, the feeling of his skin on yours instantly bringing you comfort. Bucky spent the rest of the night staying awake so he could stroke your hair and trace imaginary shapes onto your skin, the simple ministrations letting you knew he was still there and no one could hurt you. 

A few days later 

“How’s our girl” Sam whispered, giving you a warm cup of tea, pushing some hair out of your face while you stayed in Bucky’s lap, the pain worse than the night before. Bucky had carried you down to the living room, feeding you small bites of food that you reluctantly agreed to eat while wrapped up in his sweater. It had been days since you’d left his room, staying curled up with him at all times, you hadn’t been to your own room since. 

“I’m okay” You whispered, though you both knew it was a lie. You were far from okay. You knew Sam, Steve and Tony had taken care of your now ex, getting rid of all his things from your room and there was no way you’d ever see him again but you could still feel him on you. 

“I’m so sorry he did that to you y/n” Sam kissed the top of your head, letting you finish your breakfast. Bucky sat with you the whole afternoon, the both of you watching cartoons, something light hearted to make you feel better while Steve walked in with his arms behind his back. 

“There she is” Steve smiled, grateful to see you feeling comfortable enough to leave Bucky’s room, cozily wrapped up in his clothes that were clearly too big on your smaller frame. You sat up slightly when he sat beside you, placing a small flower bouquet in your lap along with a soft teddy bear, “You’ll always have us sweetheart” He gave your hand a squeeze, his skin slightly rough from how much he’d scrubbed after he had to time of his life beating your ex apart, adding a few extra blows on Bucky’s behalf. He made sure he washed all the blood away before he saw you, hoping a soft little friend would make you feel a tad bit better. He let you and Bucky continue watching TV, smiling at the way you visibly relaxed when Bucky put his arm around you, pulling you close to him. You let out a content sigh, letting your arm drape around his waist, inhaling his soft scent. 

“Thank you” You whispered, snuggled against Bucky while he kissed the top of your head, his arms still protectively wrapped around you. “For keeping me safe” 

“Always doll” 

You closed your eyes, resting your head on him, no longer registering pain, only his sweetness. You were safe. 

[adaines-furious-feast]

Bucky was always a little jealous of the attention Kristen got, until she leaves.

After she leaves he realises, oh, she hasn't slept alone in bed since Bricker was five because either he or Cork would crawl into her bed when they had nightmares. And she had to hold off on healing herself sometimes because -3 dex runs in the family and she had save spell energy for if Cork tripped and fell down the stairs again. And wow did he never realise just how hard it was to take verses from the Corn Bible and use them to stop their parents going on and on until their shouting at Bricker for something Bucky knows he tried in the past and Kristen came to his defence.

[anotheranonymousfanwhore]

Protective Bucky always has me 🥹

Yes, YES, imagine...

Modern problems Usual Winter Solider context warnings but this is pretty tame tbh Bucky Barnes x F Reader Imagine 2977 words Fluff, mild angst. 18+ MDNI

Requests open for a while via messages check masterpost for updated availability.

"It wasn't even a real gun, Buck" you insist, leaning against the door frame.

"that's not the point" he replies, face set in annoyance.

"You can't push someone through a locked door because he has a paintball gun in a gas-station!"

"He's lucky I wasn't aiming for the wall" he mutters petulently. Luckily, he's gotten quite good at not being overheard by now, even by you. 

"Sweetheart," you say, softening your tone in response to his body language, which is the total opposite of his attitude. He's making himself small on the edge of the couch you share, and despite the boldness of his actions and his adamant denials of doing anything wrong, his eyes seem full. 

"He wasn't anywhere near us..."

That makes him scoff, you take the opportunity to pace over to him, taking his face in your hands. His jaw is set under your fingers but still, he lets out a gentle breath as he looks up at you, yet another layer of well-practised bravado falling away. 

"He was heading straight for you, doll" he says quietly, "he was headin' straight for you, and your back was turned and you didn't even know he was armed-"

"-He wasn't armed though, was he love?"

Guilt flashes across his features then, and he quickly averts his gaze. So, in return, you lower your palms to his. Tangling your fingers together to stop him fussing with his hands in his lap.

"He could've been" he counters, "You don't understand how dangerous the world is, Y/N. When I- before, back in the forties things were different-"

"Oh, yeah..." you chuckle, letting him pull you onto his lap, "with rationing, and dancing and bombshelters and the second world war, I'm sure things were just overflowin' with safety"

That manages to make him crack a smile. It's short-lived, it vanishes with a subtle shake of his head, but still. It's so lovely that you can't help but lean down and kiss him. 

Bucky feels his whole posture start to soften the moment your lips meet his. The adrenaline that had been coursing through his veins for hours starting to drain away, replaced by the loud thrumming of his pulse. He relishes in it. Happy to drown in the warmth of your embrace instead of panic for once. 

You trace his temples with your thumbs, rubbing your nose against his as you feel his arms close around you, holding you tight to his chest. 

"I don't mind you keepin' me close" you allow calmly, "I don't even mind you actin' like a security gaurd in public- but you've gotta ease up a little. I can't keep callin' Nat to clean up after us whenever I run an errand, she's gonna start cashing in favours one of these days and I don't even want��to know what that might mean."

"I can keep her away too" he mumbles into your shoulder, the words hot on his breath, "I can keep you right here, Sugar. The whole world can go to hell"

As if to prove a point, his metal arm locks in place. You laugh gently, stroking his hair as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck. 

"Stop acting like everythin' is out to get me, Barnes" You instruct, tone failing to hold any genuine authority when his pouting face comes into view.

"It is" he counters, deadly serious, "You just don't see it"

"Or..." you allow, "maybe you see it too much"

He shakes his head, staring at you now, blue eyes imploring you to understand;

"You're so delicate" he murmurs, flesh fingers tracing across your arm adoringly, "you're always gettin' hurt, darlin'- last week you couldn't walk right for three days-"

"Because I tripped on the stairs" you insert calmly, "Not because the stairs attacked me, and not because I'm fragile"

"-The stairs to the subway" he agrees, "The Subway, which is a whole other death trap-"

You snort, but all humour leaves you when you see the seriousness of his expression. 

"It's a packed can of compressed metal filled with strangers and trapped underground" Bucky continues, "It could catch fire, it could crash- anyone on it could-"

"-Hey.." you whisper, stopping him before he can get too carried away, "statistically speaking, this is the safest time to be alive y'know? Sure, flying cars would be a nice change, but the-"

"Cars" he sneers, "Don't get me started"

That makes you laugh, the pure, untempered grouchiness of his complaints and his real disdain for cars paired with the look of stubbornness on his face is funny. Even if you not taking his concerns seriously only adds to the gristle in his tone.

"Y/N/N" He says, "I mean it, you- you are so, so precious to me, darlin'- I couldn't stand it if anythin happened to you, and I know you don't see it but you're human, and the world is-"

"Made for humans, by other humans" you remind him, kissing his brow. "And you shouldn't call me human and imply that you're not"

He rolls his eyes at your scolding and flexes his arm, making the metal plates groan, as if to prove a point. 

"You're still human" you argue, not willing to waiver on that point at least, "A bionic arm and some Stark Industry vitamins doesn't change that, and when it comes to life outside of this tower I am just as safe as you are."

"That's worse" he sighs, head dropping back to rest defeatedly on the couch, "You bein' as safe as me is so much worse than just you bein' on your own, doll- Don't you see that?"

"Not really," You tell him honestly, "but even if it were true, it wouldn't matter. Safety isn't owed to anyone, except maybe you-"

"And if HYDRA decide to pick you up as a hostage?" he says, voice stern now, "or if they just decide to kill you on the spot, just to mess with me, and Tony, and Natasha, and Steve and all the other targets that you've gotten yourself tangled up with?"

"Then I'd think that you, and Tony, and Natasha, and Steve would do your jobs, that you'd keep yourselfs and each other safe while you got to the whole Avenging part of your job."

"I'm not messin' around', Y/N" He sighs, peering up at you defiantly, "I'm serious-"

"So am I," you say with a shrug, "Gettin' old is a privilege, not a right- And, thanks to every one of those targets you mentioned, I am one of the most overly protected people on the planet. Tony has my cell phone and my Apple watch synced up with FRIDAY. My location and my vitals are monitored by SHEILD, all day- everyday- I live in the super-hero equivalent of an armoured tank and I am going to marry the most protective man that has ever lived. I am fine, and if one day I'm not, then I'm real sorry, Buck but I'll have died happy and it'll be more your problem than mine."

"Exactly" he grumbles, deliberately ignoring the humour at the end of your statement "It'll be all my problem, because I love you and I-"

"I hate to break to it you, Buck," you say, "but that is part of bein' in love. Supersolider or not, the hardest part of loving anyone is knowing that you could lose them. That you will lose them someday, if you wait long enough, but that doesn't mean you both just hide away until you die of old age, it means you live the best life you can together so that when one of you is left behind you have it all to look back on."

"You've been spending too much time with Steve" He relents, "You're gettin' a little too good at motivational speeches"

"You're the one who got into the habit of bringin' him to date night- to every date night"

"80 years ago, darlin', I thought he'd grow out of it eventually"

"He still might," You say softly, bringing your palm up to his cheek. 

He huffs out a sigh before closing his eyes and nestling into the warmth of your skin on his, pressing a soft kiss against your wrist before nodding. 

"I'm sorry" he murmurs, "I'll try and give you s'more space, whatever you need..."

And then his face is falling, his arms loosening just enough for you to notice, and the way his lips quirk downward makes you want to just build a bunker deeper than any subway and let him move you in there instead.

"I don't need space" You're quick to assure him, "I need you to use some of those under pressure thinkin' skills and check before you decide someone is a threat" 

There is a genuine look of remorse on his face now, it makes your heart ache in your chest. It's so sad that you feel your own conscience sting in response, knowing that your conversation has fuelled it, 

"I love you" you tell him, unable to not- "I love you a whole lot, Barnes and I refuse to be the reason you have another regret. You hear me? Not a single new regret- not a small one, because you call me three times in a row and Sam gets you thinkin' it's too much and definitely not one that involves some jerk at a bar that gets a little close or some red-neck getting snacks for his road trip, so you better make sure that the next threat you neutralise is a threat, okay? That's all I want."

"I thought he was," he says lamely, "I really thought he was, doll- I saw the gun and I saw you, and I just wanted him gone"

"Well..." You sigh, smiling softly, "He went- With a slightly broken arm, and a huge compensation cheque from Tony, so, as long as you promise to not feel too bad about it, then it looks like we might both get what we want."

He hums softly, not giving much away regarding his opinion on the matter. 

"Why are you still sulkin', handsome?" you wonder, looking at his face again. There's an unhappy crease in his brow, and even though he's trying his best to seem like he's fine, there's something about the way he's watching you that doesn't seem quite right.

"'s nothin'" he mumbles, forcing a smile, "I'm just sorry for puttin' you through this every few weeks, I am tryin, darlin' to get better about it."

You shake your head, quickly deciding not to scold him for feeling guilty, knowing that any playfulness the teasing might hold will be lost in favour of more misplaced guilt. You settle on kissing him, on running your fingers through the tangles of his hair as they slip back behind his ears. On tracing his cheeks as he pulls you ever closer towards him. He doesn't let up until he's verging on breathless. Until his desperate, frantic urge to protect you is satisfied that you're real and solid and exactly where you belong. He knows logically that you're right. That you're safe, as safe as you can be anyway- but the world is so full now. The Brooklyn streets he'd grown up on are more like concrete jungles, infested with noise and lights and cars, and people. He used to love that. The living, breathing soul of the city that never sleeps. The crowds in the daytime and the scattered laughter that would drift in through a cracked fire escape at night. He'd sit up on the roof for hours smoking cheap cigarettes and just watching, and he never once felt scared.  Even when the war first stirred, even then, the people were the one thing that he wasn't afraid of, they were his home away from home. Men he'd never known suddenly felt like family, as soon as they were packed in the back of a transit car. Crowded dance halls meant freedom and packed underground shelters meant protection. But somewhere along the way, they all became threats. Dark, faceless shadows that move around in swarms, making noises that he's never expecting and getting too close to the one thing that he could never bear to lose. Operating machines that they shouldn't be touching, huge metal busses that sound like they might collapse, or elevators that could break, or ski lifts- of all things to exist, huge wires with weak seats that carry people up too high, and you are so breakable. Your ankle a week ago was just the latest injury, before that you hurt your shoulder at the gym, lifting a huge metal barbell that he can't comprehend you touching, and before that tripped in a pothole. The road itself hurt you, because a person didn't do their job and get it filled and he can't trust anything, or anyone other than a handful of people, and all of them just parrot the same thing about you being fine. 

You stay still, resting your head on his chest, letting him settle himself by holding you in place. You had been tempted to start speaking again, until you'd noticed the way his fingers were moving, ever so gently tapping a rhythm against your side. A slow, steady pulse. Your pulse. An exact mirror of your heartbeat, which is a complete contrast to the thrashing of his own. 

As long as he can feel that, then he knows you're alright. That you're not scared, or hurt, or in danger, and that is the only way that he stands a chance of calming down himself. 

"Can you give me five minutes?" You purr, reluctant, but suddenly overwhelmed with an idea, "You can come" you offer, sweetening it with a peck on his cheek, "I just want to go and see Tony about somethin'-"

To your surprise, he chuckles at that, releasing his grip on your waist to paw at his eyes. 

"Should I be worried, doll?" he asks dryly, "I'm here lovin' on my girl and she suddenly wants to go see another man-"

The way you snort makes him smile wider. He kisses you again, on your knuckles this time, before letting go of your hand, feeling a pang of curiosity as you half skip from the room, a grin splitting your face.

It doesn't take long. Ten minutes instead of five, maybe- but not long.

And when you are done, feeling awfully pleased with yourself, you find him in the kitchen, cutting carrots by the sink with the radio playing at such a low volume you can't help but wonder why he bothered turning it on at all.

He looks over at you without missing a beat with his knife and grins wide and genuine when you come up behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing a kiss against the back of his shoulder. 

"I got you something" You announce proudly, beaming as brightly as him when he turns, leaning back against the marble counter to face you, "Somethin' that might make it easier for you to relax"

"I told Tony" he scoffs, "I'm not taking anything he cooks up in that lab- I don't care if he thinks I need a Xanax, whatever that is-"

You laugh at that, small and tempered as you reach into your back pocket, pulling out a small, plain dog tag. 

At least that's what it looks like. An unengraved dog tag, complete with the small hole, waiting for a chain. 

"Thank you?" he says, aiming for pleased, trying not to let his confusion show, especially since you seem so happy to be giving it to him, "It's-"

"You're too polite for your own good- you don't even know what it is yet"

"I've seen more of them than you" he counters, opening his palm to receive it, "but I think you're meant to write somethin' on them, doll-"

The second he touches it, he stops. Words dying in his throat. He doesn't realise yet, not completely, but he's instantly captivated by the warmth humming through the metal. 

Your smile turns smug as you reach out, curling his hand around the tag, putting his flesh thumb flat across the surface-

There it is. It's your pulse, thrumming as calmly as ever.

He's stunned. He blinks at you dumbly for a moment, and then he kisses you. He grabs you and pulls you in and his metal hand is on your cheek and you're breathless and-

The thrumming in the tag speeds up, increasing as he makes your heart flutter in your chest. He pulls back to stare at his hand again. 

"It's a live feed" you explain, "I figured Tony would be able to knock something up- As long as I've got my watch on, or, I'm somewhere that FRIDAY can get a read on me, then it's a direct, real time echo, okay? No delay, no glitches, no dead batteries."

He blinks at you, expression adoring now.

"-and if I need you- If a threat does pop up when you're not there, then-" you reach down, pressing and holding three fingers against the centre of your watch for a second

The tag vibrates in response. A constant unignorable tremor that makes it dance in his palm.

You take it upon yourself to stop it, exaggerating your action of squeezing it in demonstration.

"FRIDAY will be able to give you my location down to the inch."

Bucky knows he's gawking. His jaw is slack and he must be the picture of comedic surprise, but he doesn't care one bit. All he cares about right now is you.

"How did you think of that?" he murmurs, already moving to add it to his chain, the chain he never takes off, the one that has his other dog tag hanging from it, keeping it in its place against his heart.

"I just figured," you say, helping him refasten the clasp, "A modern problem would probably have a modern solution"

(I usually write imagine requests from the you POV, if thats not what you want then just lmk in the message)

[veltana]

No one as sweet as you - Mafia!Stucky/Reader

✦ Pairing: Stucky/Reader ✦ Word count: ~9,4k ✦ Rating: Explicit ✦ Warnings: Mafia AU, best friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, protective!stucky, TW: reader is verbally and physically abused by john walker, idiots in love, sharing a bed, poly relationship, piv sex, dirty talk, cunnilingus, praise kink, pet names (Sweets), unprotected sex, creampie. ✦ Summary: When you’re hurt by your boyfriend you go to the two people you can depend on for anything, Steve and Bucky, your best friends. ✦ Note: This is a fic that was previously posted on AO3, at the beginning of the year. But since I'm stuck in writer's block right now I thought I would post this in case you haven't read it. It's one of my favorites. There are some short prequel fics to this also posted on AO3, about when they were living together in college. I'll post those too in the following weeks.

Series masterlist

Masterlist | AO3

The bouncer gives you one glance before he opens the door for you and the line of people you pass shout angrily but you don’t even spare them a glance, your thoughts elsewhere. The music in the club usually invigorates you but tonight it passes through without leaving a trace.

Making your way to Monica at the bar, the people you pass shoot you weird glances and you know you must look a mess. When she sees you she comes right over, the music is too loud to talk so you share a squeeze of the forearm in place of a hug before she pours you your favorite wine, with a pitying smile at your smeared mascara. You throw a kiss at her before making your way to the back and once again the big man at the door opens it for you after a quick look.

The music is muted as you make your way to the stairs at the back that take you up to their private room. When your heels land at the top and you meet Bucky's eyes he lifts the girl currently on his lap off and declares "Everyone out."

Steve shoots him an irritated look before his eyes follow Bucky's and sees you. You stand perfectly still while the women and men who were enjoying a private party with two of the biggest mobsters in New York mill past you down the stairs, some even shoot you dirty looks.

When the last person has passed, you take a step towards them, but before you're two steps in, Bucky has taken the glass from your hand and Steve has lifted you into his arms. You cling to him, hands grasping his shirts, and finally, you know you’re safe.

Steve sits down with you in his lap, cradling your head to lean it against him, the other arm holding you tight at your waist. Bucky's palms are gentle when he rubs your back soothingly. None of them say anything at first but the tears running down your face speak for themselves. You made it all the way without breaking down but with them, you can be vulnerable. For the last seven years, they’ve been the rock, the shelter, and your haven.

"Talk to us, Sweets," Bucky's voice is only that soft with you, maybe sometimes with Steve too, “What’s going on?” You try to take a deep breath, but it just stutters. After a few more tries it’s better but you’re not sure where to begin. They give you time, and don't press you on information, like they otherwise do in their line of work.

Finally, you release Steve's shirt and instead, you find the hand he has wrapped around your waist, twisting the rings on his fingers as you try to speak. You don't want to look at them, the shame and the anxiety is running high in your body but you want to tell them, you just have to find the right words.

"You know the guy I've been seeing," you start and feel Steve's arms tighten around you. Before you can say more Bucky mutters "I'm gonna kill him." Steve is calmer and asks, "What about John, Sweets?" He speaks into your hair, his voice is gentle but it has a hard edge. "He's been so sweet since we started going out, but he's been having a rough time at work lately," you squeeze your eyes shut, not wanting to remember, your heart beating like crazy. The memories bring forth the panic and the fear again and your breath gets shallow.

"It's alright Sweets, you're here with us, nothing can hurt you," Bucky's low voice is comforting, together with their touch, and you know he’s telling you the truth. It’s the reason you came here instead of going home.

You take a few more breaths and continue "So I thought I'd do something nice for him. We had a spa day and while he soaked in the tub I made dinner and dressed up for him." Frowning hard, your fingers spin the rings on Steve's hand faster and faster the more your anxiety builds, knowing what’s coming.

"And everything was great until I poured the wine and spilled some on the tablecloth." Your mouth opens and closes a few times and the tears start to fall again but Bucky is there with his thumbs, cradling your face and brushing them away, while Steve rocks you gently in his embrace.

"He was furious," you cry. "Said I ruined everything! He threw the wine in my face, then the bottle across the room. He tried to grab me but I ran out of there." There is a long silence when you finish, it’s just your sobs and the music from the other side of the wall. Then Steve says "I'm gonna fucking kill him," his voice laced with rage, and he hugs you even closer.

"I took a cab here, I didn’t know where else to go, I didn’t wanna go home." With the last words out you feel a small relief. You’ve told them. You’ve told someone. The scene still plays in your head, seeing John's eyes turn black with rage when the drops of rosé landed on the white linen, feeling the fear when he started screaming.

"Thank you for telling us, Sweets. You’re an incredible person," Steve says and moves you out of his lap and over to Bucky's. They treat you with the utmost care, moving slowly, giving you time to protest if you want, or detangle yourself if that's what you desire. But you let them manipulate your body how they like because sometimes they know what you need more than you do.

"You did nothing wrong," he goes on to say, holding onto your hands, letting his thumbs caress the skin. "John is an absolute fucking asshole and no one should be treated like that.” You meet his green-blue eyes that are only soft for you, and Bucky. Right now, Steve isn’t the feared mobster that people avert their eyes from when he enters a room, scared they’re going to end up in a ditch because they looked at him wrong. No, this Steve is your best friend.

"I don't want to be scared, and I don't want to go home in case he comes there," you confess. "You'll stay with us," Bucky decides, voice finite. "Let’s go home so you can take a shower and change clothes." You nod and are about to stand up but Bucky is quicker, changing his grip and holding you close as he gets up. He carries you to the car and doesn't let go of you until you're in their mansion, in the room you have there.

When he puts you down your feet are a little unsteady and they both look at you with concern, but you give them a weak smile “It’s okay.” "We'll be right outside, shout if you need anything," Steve tells you and when you nod they both step out and close the door softly behind them.

For a moment you stand still, trying to make sense of the last hours, wondering how everything went to shit. Then you finally get a good look at yourself in the tall mirror and see the black rivulets of mascara and eyeliner smudged down your cheeks, the foundation almost gone.

The dress is ruined by the wine and even if it was expensive and you can get it dry cleaned you don’t want it anymore. You pull it off and throw it into the trash can, quickly followed by the heels. The lingerie is one of your favorite sets but you're unsure if you will ever be able to enjoy it again without remembering how you chose it especially for John. After a moment it goes into the trash, and the earrings too, feeling like you need everything from the night to be gone.

The only thing you keep on your body is the necklace that was a gift from Bucky and Steve years ago and you haven’t taken it off since. It's custom-made with three delicate chains in gold, silver, and black twisted together. You loved it the moment you saw it, knowing that the chains were the three of you, twisted together through the rest of your lives. When you touch it with your fingers it makes you feel better, because you can feel them with you.

The shower feels more than just bodily cleansing and when you remove the last pieces of your smeared makeup, smoothing eye cream over your puffy eyes, the feeling of fear and panic is distant.

In the closet are a bunch of your clothes, probably more than you like to admit, but the best part is the drawer with their old t-shirts. You pull one out, not sure which of them it used to belong to, but it’s worn and soft against your skin. For a moment you press it against your nose, breathing in the detergent that reminds you of this place and all the wonderful memories that you have with them, before you find your pajama pants.

Out in your room you sit on the bed and look around at the muted colors. Bucky and Steve insisted that the room was yours, not just a guest room, and it makes you smile a little when you think about how much fun you had decorating it.

After taking a deep breath you open the door and find them just a few steps away. The look in Bucky's eyes is murderous and Steve's fists are clenched by his side, but when they turn to you they go back to being your best friends that you met in college all those years ago. "How are you feeling?" Bucky steps up to you and pulls you into a soft hug, tucking your head underneath his chin as you wrap your arms around his waist, breathing in the smell of him. Steve comes up behind you, placing his palms on your shoulders, rubbing the muscles carefully. "Better now," you answer. "But I never had dinner so I'm a bit hungry."

Bucky pulls away from you, cradling your face, tilting it up until you're looking right into his light blue eyes. "Let's go raid the kitchen," he smiles and holds your gaze for a few seconds more and there is so much love in those eyes it's almost scary. You know he would burn down the city if it made you happy, they both would, and that intensity is one of the many things that have kept you from finding out what it would be like to be theirs. You're not sure you'd be able to handle it.

When Bucky lets go of you, Steve's arm goes around your waist and he pulls you into him, Bucky takes your hand, lacing your fingers together, and you walk to the kitchen. You sit down at the kitchen island while they open the fridge.

"The chef made mac'n’cheese," Steve says and pulls out an oven pan, covered in tin foil with a post-it note on top with instructions for heating it. Bucky turns on the oven and says, "Want something to drink Sweets?"

"Soda?" you ask and Steve pulls a can out of the fridge before settling down beside you, handing it to you. You hand it right back "Please? I don't wanna fuck up my nails." That makes him chuckle as he opens it and the sound makes you warm on the inside so you lean your head against his shoulder.

"Thank you," you sigh. "For always being here for me. I'm sorry I ruined your party." "You didn't ruin shit," Bucky spits out, glaring at you from where he is standing by the oven. Steve and you chuckle at his harsh tone but then he leans forward, over the counter towards you, resting his large arms against the surface.

"I mean it, Sweets, don't you ever think you ruin anything by showing up, for any reason," his voice is stern but you know it comes from a place of love. "Thank you, Bucky, it means a lot," you smile.

When the oven is warm Bucky puts the tray in and pulls out plates. It only takes a few minutes and your tummy rumbles as the kitchen fills with the smell of cheese. Bucky and Steve make small talk about work things and you're grateful for them filling the silence while you finally get some food.

But it isn't the nice chicken that you cooked for John that you looked forward to eating and your eyes begin to burn. Even though you try to force the tears back they come anyway and run down your cheeks as you eat. Neither Bucky nor Steve notice until you reach for a paper towel and sniffle loudly. Not a second later you're wrapped up in Steve's embrace, crying into his shirt again while Bucky caresses your hair and nape. They mumble sweet things to you and tell you that you're safe and that nothing is ever going to hurt you again.

After a few minutes, the tears run dry. "I'm okay," you say and Steve loosens his hold, his eyes filled with concern for you. "You sure?" "Yeah, but I feel like I've been hit by a truck. Should probably try to get some sleep.” "We're sleeping in my room," Bucky decides and you nod, Steve too.

It's not unusual for the three of you to share a bed when one of you has had a rough time. The first time it happened was after finals and you all fell asleep in Steve's bed, totally exhausted, and slept better than you'd had in weeks.

Then it was after break-ups, yours, Steve's, Bucky's, somehow you all ended up in a bed together every time and it wasn't sexual at any point, just friends being there for each other and it continued through the years. The only time it was out of the question was when one of you was in a relationship, then it just felt weird, and from previous experience, it wasn't something that partners were all that accepting of.

You retrieve your pillows and cover from your room before settling in Bucky’s huge bed, your feet twisted up with Steve's, and Bucky is holding your hand. It's nice, it's familiar and you drift off knowing you're safe with them.

The room is dark when their soft voices wake you, but that might be because of the black-out curtains and not because it's still night. They’ve moved close enough to you that you can feel the warmth from their bodies on either side of you, and Bucky’s chest is right in front of your eyes when you open them slightly to peek. They don't notice you're awake and you don't feel like announcing it either, curious what they’re talking about.

"We let her decide." Even if Steve's tone is hushed it's still hard. "She is too sweet, you know she would never hurt a fly, she's going to say no," Bucky protests harshly in a whisper. This is interesting, you think.

"Even if you and I are fine with getting blood on our hands, maybe she doesn't want to live with that, maybe she wants to press charges." Steve has always been the more level-headed of the two, good with looking at things from all angles and keeping his cool. Bucky huffs and you want to giggle. His emotions always get him in trouble, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. When Bucky is angry he sees red and when he loves he does it with his whole soul and being. One time you asked Steve how he isn’t dead yet since his poker face seems to suck, but Steve explained that when they’re doing business he is usually calm and collected. When his emotions finally break through, people know they should probably run.

"Fine.” You can tell Bucky is not happy but he lowers his voice even more, and now it’s tinged with something else. “But I'm never letting her go again." His words together with his gentle tone make your heart skip. There was a time when you seriously thought about asking them to see if the three of you could work it out, and be more than just friends. But what you have with them is so precious that if it fails in the end, and you lose your best friends, you're not sure how you're going to go on.

"And you think I will?" Steve mutters. "We should have said something a long time ago." "Well, we can't go back in time. All I know is that I love her and I can't see her with anyone else ever again," Bucky's voice sounds like it's going to crack. He never cries but that is as close as it gets.

Steve reaches over you towards him, you can't see what he does but you know how Steve's comforting hands look on Bucky, you've seen it before. Sometimes they're even sweeter with each other than they are with you, when they think no one can see them, not even you. It's so clear that they love each other deeply, honestly it's surprising that they don't just date each other.

You hear Bucky hum in contentment and Steve gives a small soft laugh. It feels like a good time as any to pretend to wake up. You file away their words for another day, not ready to deal with them now in the wake of what’s happened. First, you need to heal the broken heart you're already nursing before thinking about giving it away again.

With a groan you turn from your side to your back, stretching and blinking your eyes open. They're lying on their sides, both resting their heads on their hands. "What time is it?" you mumble, rubbing your eyes. "Just past nine," Bucky informs you and brushes a few strands of hair out of your face. "And you two are still here?" "Just for you," Steve says softly and finds your hand, twisting your fingers together.

Both of them are early risers and you hate mornings, something they tease you for endlessly. "Honestly though, have you already, like, gone for a run, had breakfast, and then sealed some important deal?" "Nope." Bucky slides his arm in under your neck, placing the other hand on your hip, and pulls you closer to him. "We didn't want to leave in case you woke up." Steve shuffles closer, his chest pressing into your shoulder. "Didn't want you to think we left you all by yourself."

You hum and decide to ask "Would it be okay if I stay here a few days?" "Sweets, stay as long as you want. It's your home as much as ours,” Steve answers. "No,” you correct. “My name is definitely not on any papers for this house." "We can fix that if that's what you want. Just move here." Bucky is serious but you decide to laugh it off. "You'd like that wouldn't you?" "Like old times." he smiles.

"Except I have no desire to listen to the people you bring home scream and moan, got enough of that in college,” tumbles out of your mouth without really thinking of it. They exchange a look but before they can say anything you hastily continue. "Do you think I need to break up with John, or do you think he got the message when I left?"

An uneasy silence falls and Bucky breaks it. "I'm gonna be honest with you Sweets, I really wanna fucking kill him, and make it as painful and as horrifying for him as possible. Death will feel like a blessing in the end." Steve speaks next. "But it's your decision, and if you wanna press charges against him, we'll make our lawyers available."

It’s a lot to take in at that moment. "I don't know,” you answer truthfully. “It still hurts, I'm still scared but I'm not sure what will make it better." "When you've decided you let us know and we'll do whatever you want." Steve bends down to kiss the top of your head.

"If I see him on the street or something though I'm gonna punch him," Bucky says casually before letting go of you and getting out of bed. When his warmth leaves you, you whine and that makes him chuckle. He kneels on the bed and kisses your forehead. "Steve will keep you company while I make breakfast." "You mean go get what the chef has already prepared?" you joke. Bucky shoots you a look before leaving the bedroom.

"We should be glad he isn't actually cooking. Remember when he tried to make pancakes for his girlfriend and almost burned down the apartment," Steve notes. "That's because he got distracted. I mean, I'm glad I came out of my room when I did but the image of Bucky and her on the kitchen table still haunts me," you chuckle.

"You weren't exactly innocent back in those days either," Steve points out with a laugh. "But I never did it on the communal surfaces," you defend with a huff. "No, all we got was listening to you trying to stifle every sound and failing miserably." "Well, at least I didn't break a wall while fucking someone." "It was a shitty wall, never have that problem here." "See that's why I don't wanna move here." "We can soundproof your room?" "Or I can just live in my apartment?"

Bucky comes back with a breakfast tray and places it on the bedside table before pulling out your phone from his pants. "It's been buzzing nonstop since I got down," he explains and hands it to you right as the screen lights up with an incoming call.

"It's John," you tell them, and your chest floods with anxiety as you stare at the screen and sit up against the headboard. "Answer it," Steve sits up beside you, his shoulder brushing yours. Bucky is pressed against you much the same on your other side. "On speaker," he instructs and takes out his own phone to record the call.

Your hands shake as you swipe to answer. "H-hello." Your voice is wavering. "Baby! I'm sorry for yesterday, I'm sorry I got mad. I've been calling since you left, I've been so worried. I checked your place but you weren't home. Where are you?" John says in a worried voice. "I'm at a friend's house," you reply.

The feelings in your chest are conflicted, on one hand you never want to see him again but hearing his voice makes you remember that when he is good he is great, amazing even, and you would be lying if you said you didn't miss him. For the last few months, you gave it your all and you were even prepared to tell him you love him.

"I'll come and pick you up and let me apologize properly," he sounds pained like he is actually sorry for what he did. Fuck, it's so tempting to go back but you know better. You know that this is just the tip of the iceberg, and getting wine thrown in your face is probably not the worst that can happen.

"No, John." You try to sound confident but you're not sure it comes across. "I don't think it's going to work out between us." The moment you say the words the tears well up and Steve starts rubbing your shoulder." You're doing great," he whispers right by your ear so John doesn't hear.

"Are you-" John sounds shocked. "Are you breaking up with me… over the phone?" "Yeah, sorry." You cringe, you shouldn't be sorry. "You scared me yesterday and I feel like I don't know you anymore."

"Babe you don't need to be scared of me, I would never hurt you I swear," he sounds like he is about to cry and a part of you wants to comfort him. "You threw wine in my face and said some really mean things," you point out.

"I didn't mean any of that, I promise. You know I've had a lot on my plate lately and I didn't mean to take it out on you." There is some part of you that desperately wants to believe him. "That's not an excuse," you go on. "I'm not an object for you to take out your frustration on. It's not going to work John."

There is a long silence before he speaks again and now his voice is laced with rage instead. "Then you can come get your fucking things right now." "John, please don't-" you start but he cuts you off.

"You fucking bitch, you lead me on for months and then you break up with me over the phone, because what? You think I’m gonna hit you or something?" "Yeah, maybe," you answer truthfully. "You're such a dumb bitch, I would never lay a hand on a woman I care about."

Both Steve and Bucky stir beside you. When you shoot them a glance they are both staring at the screen with murder in their eyes. "Calling me names won't change my mind, John," it hurts when he says them, like an actual stab in the heart and it brings out more tears.

Bucky leans over and taps the mute button. "There is no way you're going over there, we'll send Sam and Vis." You nod and unmute while John is raging on about how dumb and useless you are and how he wishes he'd never wasted his time on you. "I'm going to send some friends to pick up my things."

"Oh, so you won't even face me yourself?” his voice is unrecognizable now. “You know what? I'm glad for what I did, I'm not sorry anymore, you're obviously a fucking coward and not worth a second of my time." Every ounce of fight is gone from you, you're just tired and want it to be over. You don’t want to listen to the hurtful words anymore so you simply say "Goodbye John," and don't even wait for a response before hanging up. You drop the phone into the sheets and bury your face in your hands, your body jerking with sobs.

Steve and Bucky’s arms go around you but you hardly notice, everything is just excruciating pain, your heart smashed into a million pieces. Twenty-four hours ago you were happy with a man you thought you knew, and loved, but now everything is broken and you're not sure what you’re going to do next.

It takes a long time for you to stop crying and when it finally ends you're exhausted, again. The coffee Bucky brought has gone cold but Steve holds a glass of juice to your lips and makes you take a few sips before coaxing some yogurt into your mouth. "Steve is going to stay with you while I take care of a few things. If you need me, you tell him and I'll be right back," Bucky promises when he leaves the bed again, taking the tray with him out of the bedroom.

"Is he going to kill him?" you ask softly as you sink down under the covers. Steve puts his arm around your waist and pulls you into his chest until your face is squished against it. "No," his voice is soft. "Not without me." "Steve…" "Can you blame us, Sweets? John was lucky it was over the phone or else we would have beaten him into a pulp for saying those things."

"He never acted like that before," you whisper. "I'm just happy you got out before he put his hands on you," Steve whispers back. "If you had shown up with bruises yesterday I might have lost it." "I love you," you tell him and he kisses the top of your head. "I love you too, Sweets, and I know Bucky feels just the same." You hum and let the exhaustion take over.

They have switched when you wake the next time, you're in Bucky's arms and he is carding his fingers through your hair speaking quietly to you. "Wake up Sweets, it's time for dinner."

Even if you’ve slept right through lunch you shake your head and swing your leg over his hip, clinging to him. "Don't wanna get up," you whine. "If you eat dinner, we can watch a movie on the couch afterward." He knows just how to tempt you and you need something to try and take your mind off everything.

"Candy?" you pull back. Even if the light in the room is dim you can still see the blue in his eyes, and the crinkles at the corners when he smiles. "You know we keep stock of everything you like, there is always something sweet for our Sweets."

You hug him hard. "I love you Bucky, you know that right?" "I love you too, Sweets." He kisses the top of your head, much like Steve did earlier. "And I know Steve feels just the same." That makes you giggle "Steve said the same thing." "Well he is a smart man," he shrugs.

Bucky all but pulls you out of bed but he doesn't force you to change out of your pajamas. He leads you to the kitchen where Steve is plating the food and your stomach grumbles when you smell it. They have set the table with candles and it looks lovely but it also reminds you of your last candle-lit dinner. Bucky sees the look on your face turns you away from it and tilts your chin up with his fingertips, "It’s…” he begins, hesitating, trying to find the right words. “We want to replace every bad memory, but if it’s too much too soon we’ll throw it all out.”

The scary thing is that he is serious. If you said the word they would throw everything out, but you don't want that, you want a nice dinner with them and try to get past what happened. Maybe it will help, maybe it won’t but you won’t know until you’ve tried. And if there is one thing you know for sure, it is that you are safe with them.

“It’s fine, I’ll try,” you promise with a smile before turning around to sit down at the table. Steve serves the food and Bucky pours you a glass of wine. After a few bites, Bucky brings up some stupid shit the three of you did a long time ago and through dinner, you reminisce about old times.

Since meeting John you haven't seen them as much because you learned early on that partners were weirded out or even jealous of what you had with them. Right now you can’t fathom why you would ever do that, because these two people are the best thing in your life.

You fold your napkin into your lap and look at them. "I'm sorry for, like, ghosting you the last few months," you swallow hard. "I've been a shitty friend but you always take care of me when I need you, and I’m so thankful for that. I promise I’ll do better."

"It's okay sweets," Steve smiles and reaches over the table to grasp your hand. Bucky takes the other and his thumb caresses your knuckles. "Don't apologize, there is no need." The lump in your throat is from love and not from sadness this time and you don't try to speak, just nod, squeezing their hands back.

Afterward, you cuddle up on the couch to watch a movie but ten minutes in you're already nodding off. When Steve and Bucky notice you're asleep they turn the TV off and Steve carries you up to Bucky's bedroom. "She has work tomorrow," Bucky whispers and pulls the cover up over your body. "Fuck, should we wake her?" Steve asks back. "No, let her sleep, she starts at nine so if we let her sleep til seven it should be fine."

Fortunately, the alarm on your phone goes off as usual but when you turn to snooze it, you instead roll into a warm chest. Steve grumbles and reaches for your phone, handing it to you before seizing you around the waist, and burying his face in your neck.

“Hey, I have to get up,” you mutter. It feels like your eyes are filled with sand and your head is pounding but you have to go to work nonetheless. “You don’t have to work,” he speaks into your skin and it makes a tingling feeling travel through you.

“Don’t be silly, let go of me,” you chuckle and detangle yourself. The other side of the bed is empty, Bucky already up. You drag yourself over to your room to shower before getting ready and eating breakfast. Steve insists on driving you to work and Bucky comes and sees you off with a long hug and a kiss on your hair. “I’ve put Clint and Peter to watch your apartment and Sam and Vis are going to be outside your work all day, Sweets.” “Thank you, Bucky.”

When Steve drops you off he points out the car. "If you see John or you for any other reason feel unsafe you can go to them right away, or call us,” he tucks a strand of hair in behind your ear. “Don’t hesitate. You mean everything to us and we want to keep you safe, Sweets,” You nod. “Thank you, Steve,” you whisper, leaning over the console to kiss his cheek before heading to work.

What you told yourself would only be a few days, turns into a few weeks and now it’s almost two months. Despite your initial refusal, you’re enjoying living with them again. A few times after the break-up, John tried to contact you and every time the phone started buzzing and your anxiety spiked you found one of them and they helped you through it.

You haven’t slept in your room once and neither has Steve, it's always the three of you sleeping in Bucky's bed. It could be because Bucky has an expensive bed that you sleep so soundly, but in the back of your head, you know it’s because their presence calms you.

If Bucky or Steve can't drive you to work, someone else does, your own car is still parked on the street by your apartment and you don’t have any desire to go get it. But you do miss some of your clothes, and toiletries, so maybe you should take it as a sign that you need to go back.

After getting home from work that day you walk up to their office, a little apprehensive. Both of them are leaning over the desk when you poke your head in, their cuffs rolled up, exposing their underarms. It’s enough to make your stomach flip, they look too good. Steve sees you first and a smile splits his face. “Hey Sweets, have a good day at work?”

Bucky turns and opens his arms towards you when you step into the room. His hug is warm and comforting and you answer Steve’s question with a yes, before taking a step back from them. "I know I said I was only going to stay a few days but it's been way more than that now, so I think I'll go back to my place after work tomorrow." You try to sound as neutral as possible, neither sad nor happy, just stating a fact.

"No," Bucky breathes, fists tightening at his sides. "I agree with Bucky, don't leave," Steve's voice is calm and his face doesn’t give much away but his eyes are betraying him, they’re too glossy, too wide, and too filled with fear to miss.

The other reason you need to go back home is the way they are treating you and touching you. It’s making your feelings run wild and you can't have that, you can’t risk losing them too. And if that wasn't enough they've invaded your dreams with their touches and words, making you wake up aching for them in a way that is totally inappropriate.

"I can't stay, you know that," you sigh. "No, I don't." Bucky is frustrated, staring at you. "I really fucking don't know why you can't stay. We love having you here and you seem to love being here. Just stay."

His mood is making you defensive, you don't want to explain that you're obviously catching feelings soon after getting out of something traumatic. You need to think, and every time you wake up drenched, tucked in between them you are seconds away from ruining everything by confessing or honestly just taking one of their hands and pushing it in between your legs, hoping they will help you get off.

"I need my own space, Bucky," you cross your arms and glare at him. "You have your own room," he states and takes a step closer. "That I don't use anyway," you reply and take a step back. "Because you don't want to!" His raised voice silences you not because you're scared but because he's right. Bucky isn’t stupid and he's not the type to sugarcoat things when he's upset.

Your heart is hammering. "No I don't want to," you confess with a breath. "But I need to." Then you turn to go but only get a step from the desk before Steve grabs your wrist. He spins you into his chest, Bucky coming up behind you, boxing you in between them. Bucky's head falls on your shoulder. "I can't let you go again, Sweets, I can't do it."

Your mind flashes back to the morning when you pretended to sleep and heard them talking. The breath in your chest hitches as you look up into Steve's blue-green eyes. “I’m with him, Sweets,” he says in a low voice and cups your cheek with his large hand. “You belong here, with us.”

Your mouth opens and you try to protest but it dies on your tongue and Steve takes the opportunity to continue. "We love you, more than anything, we want you to be ours, more than just our best friend. Live with us, be with us in every sense of the word. All three of us, together," his voice wavers at the end.

The words sink in slowly. Be with them. Be theirs. Stay. Your body is aching to say yes and your heart is about to beat its way out of your chest. “But…” “All I know is that I feel incomplete without you, like a part of my soul is somewhere else, and the only time I'm at peace is when I'm with you two. I can't keep living like a part of me is missing. So I'm asking you, please stay, please help us figure this out and be with us." Bucky’s arms wrap around your waist. "Every time I see you with someone else my heart gets ripped out of my chest and I've tried to be with other people, we both have, but in the end, they’re not you."

Their confessions break down your defenses as their words ring true. In all your relationships over the years, there's always been something missing but you've never been able to figure out what. There's been passion and there's been love but it's always lacking something and now you think you get it. It has lacked them and the deep connection you share through years and years of friendship. Feeling stupid about wanting to leave and thinking you weren’t ready to be with them makes tears well in your eyes. Whatever it is you three can figure it out, it may not be traditional but it beats being unhappy.

"Don't cry, Sweets." Steve runs his thumb over your cheek. You lean your head into his chest, nodding against it. "I'll stay," you sniffle. The arms around your waist tighten and Bucky speaks into your shoulder. "Really Sweets?" he sounds like he’s worried that maybe you're joking.

"Really Bucky," you promise, wrapping your arms around Steve and hugging him close. For a moment it’s just the three of you enveloped in your shared love but then Bucky rights himself and you look up at him over your shoulder, matching his silly smile.

He leans in like he is about to kiss you but he stops himself, his eyes searching yours for something, and it's scary. If you take the plunge everything will change, or maybe it won't, but it feels like an earthquake is rolling through your life, upsetting everything and if you let him kiss you it will be real. But that's what you want.

"Please?" you ask him and his whole face lights up before he closes the distance and presses his lips to yours. It could be described as fireworks, an erupting volcano, or maybe feeling the first rays of sunlight on your skin after years in darkness, but nothing will come close to the feeling of being kissed by Bucky.

It's a chaste kiss with just his lips moving carefully against yours. It's over quicker than you want but in his place is Steve, turning your head back towards him and descending on you. His fingers run through your hair and he opens your mouth to let his tongue play with yours, the feeling once again indescribable, it's just the feeling of right. Everything about it feels right.

Even if the kiss is slow when he pulls back your breathing is labored and you're clutching his shirt. "I-" you begin but can’t find any words. That kiss ignited something inside you, it's like you're seeing color for the first time, everything is clearer and sharper. What even was your life before?

"Are doing okay Sweets?" Bucky asks next to your ear and you nod in response. When his soft lips caress the side of your neck you whimper and lean your head to give him better access, he chuckles against your skin, nipping it and making you gasp. "I wanna eat you up, find out what you taste like everywhere."

It’s a badly kept secret that Bucky has a marking kink. You’ve seen his exes, you know he's possessive and likes to leave marks. You can't wait to have them on you so you whisper, "Mark me.”

Steve chuckles above you. "She knows you, Bucky," he says with a smile. "You too, Steve, please?" You’re almost begging, but not quite, just asking nicely. "You want me to give you a hickey?" he asks with a crooked smile but those eyes are too easy to read. He craves you. "Or a bruise, or a bite mark, something, anything," "Fuck…" His face changes to match his dark eyes. "You want everyone to know you belong to us, Sweets?" he asks with a hoarse voice and you feel the large bulge in his pants press against your stomach.

You nod, biting your lip. "Show me how you do it, Bucky.” They spin you around and Bucky grabs at the collar of your blouse, pulling harshly, sending the buttons flying over the office. “Hey-” you begin but he pulls the fabric aside exposing the juncture between your shoulder and neck. First, he sinks his teeth in, hard enough for you to hiss but not breaking the skin, then he closes his lips and sucks.

It's painful but the act in itself makes you throb. When he pulls back you release your breath but Steve is quick to pull the neckline on the other side and do the exact same thing. He is gentler but when he's done there is still a purple bruise on your skin. "Fuck me," you whimper against Bucky.

"Yes, Sweets, we will. Long and hard until you can't take it anymore. We're going to ruin you." Steve promises before he grabs you and lifts you up, spinning you so you can wrap your legs around him as he starts walking to the bedroom, Bucky right behind you. You reach your hand out towards him and he grabs it, kissing your palm and knuckles. "We're going to take care of you Sweets, you'll never want for anything," he promises with a wicked smirk.

Steve places you on the edge of the bed and stands up, looking down at you. Bucky comes up beside him, resting his forearm on Steve's shoulder. "Look at our sweets, can you believe it?" Bucky asks. Steve turns to him with a smile. "Yes." Then he places two fingers under Bucky's chin, turning his head before kissing him. It's heated, filthy and it's the hottest thing you've ever seen. You squeeze your legs together to alleviate some of the pressure you're feeling in your cunt. Their kiss shows that it's nothing new, they've obviously done it before and you're a little mad that they have withheld this from you.

When Steve starts pulling on Bucky's clothes you can't keep the moan from slipping out. They both break away and turn to you and you feel small in the best way possible. "Did you like that?" Bucky asks before leaning down and kissing you.

The knowledge that his tongue was just in Steve's mouth and is now sliding against yours makes you moan again. You start undoing the buttons on his shirt and he pulls on your top. When you separate, he pulls it off and you’re left in just your bralette. Steve makes a sound in the back of his throat at the sight and starts taking off his own clothes.

Bucky kneels in front of you on the floor, unbuttoning your pants and pulling them off, while you stare at Steve as more and more skin is revealed. He holds your gaze the whole time and you bite your lip when he starts at his pants. His chest and forearms are huge, covered in tattoos but in no way hiding the muscle underneath. It makes your mouth water and your cunt clench.

Bucky starts kissing up your bare leg, beginning at your ankles and slowly working his way up your calve and the inside of your thigh. When you're still staring at Steve he nips your skin. "I know he's gorgeous but when I eat your pussy I want your eyes on me, Sweets." He tries to look offended but his pupils are blown wide with lust.

Just the thought of him between your legs makes a shiver run through you and your cunt impossibly wetter. Nodding at him you caress the side of his face and watch him, the closer he gets, the more you start to tremble with need. No one had ever made you feel so needy and horny.

Bucky kisses your cunt through your underwear, making you gasp. "Please Bucky, I need you." "I know, I can smell how fucking wet you are Sweets." He twists your panties out of the way. "Fuck, Steve, look at her, she's dripping."

Steve, in just his underwear now, slides his fingers gently through the mess, making you tremble and moan, before bringing the fingers to his mouth and holding your gaze as he licks them clean. Then Bucky's mouth is on you, his tongue licking from your core up to your clit.

"Fuck-fuck-fuck-" you cry and grab the sheets under you, bucking up into his touch. Steve chuckles and gets behind you on the bed. "He looks like he's in heaven, Sweets. He has wanted you for so long." You feel his fingers undo the clasp of your bra and then slide it off. His hands cup your tits a second later, making more sounds spill out of your mouth. His fingers rub, caress, and pull on your nipples while Bucky is hurdling you toward your climax.

"I'm- I'm gonna-" Your legs shake and you grab Steve's arm with one hand, the other going to Bucky's head, grabbing his short hair. Every muscle in your body tenses right before the coil snaps, making you scream out your release, riding Bucky's face and feeling the pleasure-filled waves travel through your body.

You slump against Steve's and he holds you. Bucky pulls back with a shit-eating grin, wiping his face with the back of his hand, saying "Fuck Sweets," before he stands up and starts taking off his clothes.

You already feel amazing, high off your orgasm but you want more and Steve's hard-on is pressing into your back. You turn around on the bed. "Move up," you tell him and his smirk is knowing but he does as you say and moves to sit against the headboard.

You rid yourself of your drenched panties before grabbing his boxers and pulling them off. "Eager Sweets?" he chuckles and fists his cock as soon as it's free. It's thick and long as him and you can't fucking wait. You bite your lip before asking "Condom?"

"I know we should but I want to feel you raw Sweets,” he confesses. “Are you on birth control?" "Sure, and I got tested the week after…" you trail off not wanting the bad memories to ruin the moment. Bucky's heat is suddenly behind you, grabbing your hair and forcing your head back to kiss you deeply. When he lets go he says, "Steve and I got tested like a week before you moved in and I've not even looked another person's way since then." Steve laughs "And I haven't fucked anyone either so get over here and ride my cock Sweets."

To say you scramble is an accurate description, quickly shuffling over to him and straddling his hips. You hold onto his shoulders as he swipes the head of his cock through your mess, holding it still for you to sink down on.

All three of you moan in unison as his dick disappears into your tight hot channel. The grip Steve has on your hips is almost bruising and the look on his face is painful. “F-fuck. Sweets. Damn.” Is all he gets out. You lean in, kissing his cheeks and chin and lips, and start to move, slowly, the feeling is amazing, he's filling you up to the brim perfectly.

"Feels so good," you stutter and then drop down hard. "I'm never watching porn again," Bucky says from behind you and you watch him over your shoulder, kneeling on the bed and jerking his cock. You whine in the back of your throat, you want him too, so you reach for him as you bounce on Steve's cock, making him spill the most delicious sounds.

Bucky shuffles over and you grab his dick in your hand, he's big enough that it doesn't fit all the way around. His hand lands on Steve's shoulder to steady himself and Steve reaches out to place a hand on his hip.

The sounds the three of you make fill the room. It's moans, groans, and whimpers, the sound of slapping skin and squelching wetness. Your clit is steadily rubbing against Steve, getting you closer and closer. Bucky is panting heavily, Steve is too.

"Sweets, I can feel you. Are you gonna come on my cock?" Steve is trying to sound unaffected and failing miserably, but he continues to spill filth that rushes you toward the edge. "When I've filled you up, Bucky is gonna fuck my cum right back into you, aren't you Buck?" "Fuck yes," he groans before leaning in and kissing you deeply. “I wanna see you come on his cock Sweets.”

"Next time I wanna feel both of you come in me at the same time," you whimper. "Sweets, you goddamn slut." Steve groans with a laugh and bucks up into you harder. "Tell us more! Please! I want to hear every filthy little thought hidden inside that mind."

You turn to look at Bucky. "I want both of you in every hole. I want you to use me like I'm a toy and worship me like a queen," you tell him, then turn to Steve. "Put my name on the house and celebrate it by fucking in every room, on every surface, show me all of your kinks, give me everything."

Steve's eyes are screwed shut and he's let go of Bucky to grab your hips, pulling you down onto his big cock. "Keep going," you urge him, your release just a few thrusts away. But he's too close and before you can get there he suddenly sits up to wrap his arms around your waist, crushing you against his chest, thrusting up hard, and comes with a loud moan of your name.

You feel wild, right on the edge of ecstasy but left dangling in mid-air. With pleading eyes and a whine you look at Bucky who smirks at you before pulling you away from Steve and laying you on your back. A second later he fills you up, the sound of his cock pushing through Steve's mess is as sweet as it's nasty.

"Please, Bucky, please," you beg. "Yeah I know, don't worry, not gonna blow my load early," he taunts over his shoulder at Steve who just gives him the finger. "Understand him though, you’re so tight and warm Sweets. Makes me a bit crazy. I just want to fill you up over and over again," he confesses.

"I need to-" you begin but he cuts you off. "Rub your clit for me. Come on my cock," he demands but you know something that is even better than your own fingers and you reach out your arm.

"Steve," you plead and he crawls over to you and lays down beside you, pushing his hand in between your bodies, finding your clit. You arch off the bed with his touch, hands clutching Bucky's arms as he rams into you. The dual sensation is amazing and with how close you were seconds ago the end approaches quickly. Your moans get louder the closer you get and both Bucky and Steve praise you the whole way through.

"You sound so fucking pretty."

"I can barely move you gripping me so tight."

"You're so good at taking cock, Sweets. First mine and now Bucky's, it's like you were made for us."

You nod at the last thing and the pressure in your body is breaking, making your muscles convulse, almost pushing Bucky out with how hard you're coming, screaming their names as you do.

"Fuck! Yes, Sweets!" Bucky’s laugh is a little manic as he works you through it. "I'm going to fill our sweet little cunt with more cum." His hips stutter against you before he groans out your name and collapses on top of you. You run your fingers over his sweaty back and kiss his cheek. Then you turn to Steve, smiling at him beside you. "He's heavy," you complain.

Both of them laugh and Bucky rolls off before they move until you're squeezed in between them, their cum running down your legs, making a mess on the bed. Fortunately, you have at least two other beds to sleep in.

For a few months, you're walking on air. In a throuple with your two best friends, amazing sex, luxury beyond what you could have ever imagined. They constantly spoil you and they've tried to convince you to quit your job since you don't need to work when you're with them.

Tonight you're in another fancy restaurant. Bucky is trying to feed you chocolate cake because it's romantic but you tell him over and over again that you can eat by yourself. Suddenly Steve stiffens beside you and since he isn't known to have tells, you immediately get worried and follow his gaze.

John is standing at the door with a pretty girl on his arm, talking to the waiter and then being shown to a table. Next to yours.

When your eyes meet he stops for a second and his date shoots confused looks between the two of you, before you nod and he nods back, then moves again and sits down.

Steve asks for the check and you're out of your seat and outside the restaurant in no time. Bucky holds your coat as you put it on and a moment later Steve comes out too. His eyes are black with hate and when you're finally in the car you realize that you can't live like this.

"I think-" you begin, swallowing then clearing your throat, "I think I'm going to need those lawyers."

[bubbarnes]

“... I'm a nobody. I can't even remember anything. Nothing. Not even my name.”

[urdepressedslut]

You’re Mine, Sunshine (masterlist) ♡

♡ Pairing: Grumpy!Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Fem!Reader (Mob!Au Bodyguard!Au)

♡ Series Summary: Bucky gets picked by a very rich and respected man to be his daughter’s personal bodyguard. The Father warns him that it won’t be an easy job, that she is a brat and difficult to deal with. But what happens when Bucky meets you and you’re the complete opposite?

♡ Series Warnings: mentions of amputation, dark themes, violence, death/death threats, talk of parent death, fluff, angst, stalking, daddy issues, anxiety attacks/panic attacks, abuse, depression, depressive episodes, PTSD, dry humping, hints to smut, (warnings to be added as new chapters are released)

Trope ⇢ Grumpy x Sunshine ☀️

(SERIES ONGOING)

Last Updated: 9/8/23

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT | SERIES 18+

⇨ Chapter One

↳ After Pierce interviews Bucky for the job, he warns him of you. Bucky is starting to rethink his decision, but when he meets you... you're not what he expected.

⇨ Chapter Two

↳ Bucky takes you home, and later finds you in the library. You both get to know each other a little better, but Bucky is hesitant.

⇨ Chapter Three

↳ Bucky has a surprise meeting with Pierce, getting informed about your secret admire. Meanwhile, Bucky tries to keep things professional, he’s hesitant to cross the line when you need him.

⇨ Chapter Four

↳ You don’t know what to think of Bucky after he took you to bed last night. Bucky can’t continue to keep the stalking situation hidden from you. Something is found on your doorstep.

⇨ Chapter Five

↳ Getting to know each other better doesn’t go according to plan. Bucky has to comfort you and fix the mess he made. Will you forgive him?

⇨ Chapter Six

↳ Bucky receives a morning visit from Steve, with the news about what was in the box. Bucky continues to think about what he should do. Should he tell you the truth about your stalker?

⇨ Chapter Seven

↳ Bucky finds you making a mess in the kitchen, attempting to bake and offers his help. The two of you get to talking and some reveals about each other begin to come out. Will he finally tell you about your stalker?

⇨ Chapter Eight

↳ After a surprise visit from Pierce, tension arises as he threatens Bucky of his job. Pierce wants to have a talk with you and it doesn't go very well.

⇨ Chapter Nine

↳ After the events from the other day, you try and cope with the reality of what happened. The world is a lot less colorful than you remember. Bucky helps comfort you after you realize you have no one left.

⇨ Chapter Ten

↳ Someone comes knocking at your door in the morning. Bucky answers and is surprised with who he finds. Are they going to help them or hurt them?

⇨ Chapter Eleven

↳ The tension can't be ignored anymore between you and Bucky. Steve shows up and he's not alone.

⇨ Chapter Twelve

↳ Reality is hitting you as you, Bucky, Steve and his men all venture off to a secret safe house only Steve knows about. The events from the last couple of days are starting to hit you with a sickening force, leaving you weak and crippled.

⇨ Chapter Thirteen

↳ Your dreams consist of random memories of your parents, but are they really random? Despite the past days of hell—you still find it difficult to resist Bucky. You two spend a heated morning together, devouring each other while you still have these moments.

[princessmisery666]

YEEEES!! Go on Bucky!! Dude deserved everything he got!!! Loved it.

Jawbreaker

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader Summary: Bucky put a mouthy rookie in his place. Word Count: Over 800 Warnings: Established relationship, mention of injury, misogyny, punching, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes defending you (he's a warning, okay?). A/N: I'm dedicating this to @whisperlullaby , who got to read this in advance, because she deserves this man (along with the rest of you). ❤️Written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

A small part of Bucky felt bad as he idly wiped his hand with a towel. A very small part.

He didn’t want people to fear him because of his past and he refused to let it define him. That meant that he tried his best to avoid violent tactics unless absolutely necessary.

But today, well, fuck that. The fucker had it coming.

Steve stood in front of him, his blue eyes narrowed as he waited for his best friend to acknowledge him.

Oh, Bucky expected some sort of reprimand, but he was sure Steve would change his tune in a minute or so.

“You gonna ask me what happened, punk, or glare at me until I talk?” He asked, tossing the towel away.

The blonde huffed out a laugh, but he didn’t look amused. “Why did you break that rookie’s jaw?”

Bucky tilted his head. “What’s the phrase? He fucked around and found out.”

You would’ve been proud of him for that reference.

Steve shook his head when Sam burst out laughing a few feet away. “Sam, please,” he begged, though his mouth twitched like he was trying not to smile. “What did the guy do?”

A bitter taste flooded Bucky’s mouth as anger coursed through his veins again. He inhaled as he thought of your sweet smile and soft touch before he exhaled, the storm inside of him calming.

“Buck, you gotta tell us something,” Steve urged, needing some sort of information to try and do some damage control.

The brunette straightened up to look his friend in the eyes, wanting him to see the fury beneath the cold mask. “He told my girl to throw an apron on and get back in the kitchen when she went to spar.”

You, one of the most capable agents Bucky had ever known.

You, who had shown nothing but kindness to everyone, even when they didn’t deserve it.

The person Bucky was lucky enough to call his other half. His better half.

And some asshole rookie had the gall to treat you as if you didn’t belong there with the rest of them.

Sam was no longer laughing. Steve’s jaw clenched in understanding.

Bucky swallowed, that fury threatening to surface again as he remembered the hurt that filled your eyes at the comment. “You know I’d support anything she wants to do, whether that’s working or staying at home. It doesn’t give some prick the right to make her feel bad for her decision.”

“You know I don’t like bullies, but breaking his jaw?” Steve questioned. The guy deserved it, but did the punishment actually fit the crime?

“When she walked away, he said to come back when she was ready to see what a real man could do for her,” he said, the words coming out like a snarl.

The way you tensed up, fear and disgust flickering on your face, he didn’t think. A switch inside of him went off and he swung.

The fucker was lucky that all he got was a broken jaw. He could’ve done so much worse.

And it wasn’t that you couldn’t defend yourself because you could, but you shouldn’t have to put up with garbage like that.

A cracking sound echoed in the room before he realized he crushed the armrest of his seat. “Fuck. I’ll pay for that,” he mumbled, kicking a bit of the broken piece with his boot. “Can you just tell me how much trouble I’m in so I can get back to my girl?”

He didn’t care if he they suspended or even fired him as long as he got back to you.

The room stayed silent before Sam mused, “Technically, what the rookie did counts as harassment.”

Steve nodded. “And I’m sure Nat can persuade him not to sue for the injury he received,” he added, pinching the bridge of his nose. “We’ll take care of it, Buck. Just. No more breaking jaws, okay?”

“When it comes to my girl, I make no promises,” Bucky smiled, his heart racing at the thought of you. “And maybe he’ll think twice before he opens his mouth again.”

“The damage you did, I don’t think he can open his mouth at all,” Sam mumbled.

Bucky’s phone went off before he could comment, his heart swelling as he read your text. He had to bite back a groan, too.

“Thank you again, Jawbreaker. I love you and I’ll be on my knees waiting for you.”

You wanted to thank him not just with words, but with your body and heart. It all belonged to him, like he belonged to you.

And he didn’t need to tell Steve and Sam what the message said since it was just for the two of you. “Love you, too, baby. Nothing to thank me for, but I’m on my way. Be ready.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Maybe we'll see how you "thank" Bucky down the road. Love and thanks for reading! ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

[simmerandwrite]

electric touch (part 1)

Pairing: Bucky x medical team! reader

Summary: Getting a spot on the field medical team was your dream. And your closest work friend Bucky Barnes finally asking you out? That was the cherry on top of your good news. Now all you had to do was pass your training week. Seems easy enough until you’re faced with someone who doesn’t want to see you win.

Warnings: abuse of power, verbal abuse, physical assault, some PTSD (but none of these are because of Bucky!!!!)

Wordcount: 7k

Part 2

Notes: hello! Are you hungry for a lil slice of ‘who did this to you’ pie with a big dollop of protective Bucky Barnes on top? Dig in!! I aim to be as nondescript as possible for the reader but I will note reader is shorter than Bucky and wears glasses. Thank you for reading and I'd love to hear your thoughts! please consider reblogging, it helps my work reach more lovely people here on Tumblr. <3 merci!

---

Your regular lunch dates with Bucky started unintentionally. In fact, your friendship with Bucky had started that way – very unintentionally.

In retrospect, you couldn’t believe you had been late on your first day. You had intentionally set extra alarms to make sure you got to Stark Industries early.But you couldn’t control the inconsistencies of the New York subway system. When you skirted into the training room, only one seat was left – beside Bucky Barnes himself.

It was funny to think that the mandatory onboarding applied to new Avengers, too.

Of course, you knew who he was – the former Winter Soldier – but you didn’t realize he had to sit through the boring health and safety discussions and HR seminars like everyone else. When the first lunch break arrived, you turned to him and asked if he wanted to join you for lunch at the burger place down the street.

Initially, it looked like he was fighting off the urge to decline, but then he said: “Sure.”

Your conversations were very stilted in the beginning, which you didn’t mind. But as the week carried on, you felt the foundations of a friendship.

(He told you, later, that he appreciated your kindness that first day. That he had been really fucking scared to sit in that room with strangers judging him. He liked that you treated him like a normal person.)

It had grown organically since then – but you were simply just work friends. Your roles at Stark Industries slash The Avengers Initiative didn’t always overlap, but you did occasionally see him in the halls or if he happened to be by medical when you were working. Then, one day, you saw him eating alone in the cafeteria and you dropped down across from him to catch up.

Then lunch turned into a routine for you both. Typically on Wednesdays you’d sit together, if Bucky wasn’t on a mission or you weren’t on the night rotation. Sometimes Sam or Steve or some of the other nurses joined you, but secretly, you liked when it was just you and Bucky. Sometimes it felt like he preferred it that way too.

“So, guess what?” You sat down on the chair across from him, your tray knocking against his. He slowly moved his eyes from the pages of his book – he almost always had his nose in a book at lunch, regardless of the company – and matched your smile.

“I take it you got good news?”

You searched his face then frowned. “Wait, do you already know? That’s not fair.”

“Sam showed me the roster.”

A groan rumbled from your chest. “Boo.” You tipped your head to look at him as you paused. “Can you just pretend you’re about to hear this for the first time?”

Bucky smirked, putting down his book and politely stacking his hands to give you his full attention. “Sure. Start again?”

“Guess what?” You repeated, rolling your eyes.

“I’ve got no clue, doll. What?”

“You are looking at the newest member of the field medical team!” The chair legs squeaked as you danced in celebration.

“Congratulations,” Bucky replied, a wide smile crossing his face. He reached out and offered his fist, which you met with your own. You knocked your knuckles into his twice then wiggled your fingers at one another - a silly secret handshake you had invented together over a Taco Tuesday lunch one day, mostly out of annoyance to Sam.

You deflated afterwards, though, as reality set in. “Hopefully I can make it through training next week. It’s going to be hard but.. I can do hard things.”

Bucky reached over and grabbed your hand, holding it for a moment though he quickly pulled back. “You’re going to do great. You wouldn’t have been picked if you weren’t capable. You’re more than ready and, well, uh, I’m proud of you.”

You smiled, glancing down to where his hand had briefly made contact with yours. It felt.. hot, for some reason. You resisted touching the skin there. This had been happening more than you wanted to admit recently – a new spark when you saw him, when you touched. You thought you had easily avoided the possibilities of a developing crush on Bucky but.. something had been brewing for you. And maybe the same was happening with him, too - when you thought about how he looked at you, how considerate he was…

You wouldn��t know with any certainty unless you asked and you were way, way too scared to ask. Ruining your friendship may not be worth it. Especially if you were joining the medical team that would accompany the Avengers on some of their missions. What if you made it weird? What if you went on one date and it was terrible and your friendship never recovered? What if you asked Bucky out and then he laughed in your face and –

“We should go out and celebrate,” he cut you off. 

Wait. Was his voice shaking?

You met his eyes. Was he nervous? “I still.. I have to pass the training.”

“I know,” he nodded. “And tomorrow I leave for.. an undisclosed location for the week. So. When I get back and you’ve crushed the training and have the new job title, let’s go out.”

“Just you and me?” You asked, swallowing hard.

Bucky took a deep breath. “Yeah. If you..”

“Like a date?”

He closed his eyes, face scrunched up. It was cute. “Yeah, like a date, sweetheart. Just you and me.”

Okay, well, okay. Yes. Okay, that answered your question. You supposed the risk was being taken either way. There. He did the thing before you could even talk yourself out of it.

You smiled, nervously adjusting your glasses. Oh my god. You hadn’t even answered. With eyes wide, you reached for him. “Yes, that sounds.. that sounds wonderful. I’d love that.”

He grinned, squeezing your hand. “For a second there, I really thought I screwed all this up.”

---

Bucky couldn’t believe it had taken him this long to finally just do it. Asking you out had been at the top of his list for a long time and although it scared the shit out of him, this follow-up feeling of anticipation had been totally worth it. Now he just needed to get through a grueling mission with a sweet reward at the end – a date with you.

You- the first stranger who treated him like a regular person. You - who cared so deeply about your job. You - who seemed to always hear his snarky comments and always laughed, giggled, snorted, at them. With a smile that could make his entire body warm up. 

You. He couldn’t wait for that damn date. 

A date was the scary next step. But he was tired of waiting and tired of denying his feelings. And thank god you had reacted just as positively. The foundation of your friendship was so important to him but he had a feeling things could be even better. He prayed he wouldn’t fuck it all up.

When he showed up at the compound early in the morning to get on the jet, Bucky was surprised to see Sam prepping in the pilot’s seat.

Sam jumped in with an answer before the question even left Bucky’s lips. “Natasha had to join Clint on the Belize mission, last minute. So it’s you and me, pal.”

Bucky rolled his eyes. Though he wasn’t mentally prepared for a week with Sam, he could handle it. Bucky was certain he could handle anything that he faced this week, knowing it was your face on his mind keeping him going.

As you crossed his mind again, another thought surfaced.

“If you’re here, who’s taking over the training for the med field team?” Bucky reached for his phone then cursed. They were going dark for this mission so he’d left his phone in his locker. Although he had sent you a message after he got up that morning, he wanted to reach out one last time and send some extra reassurance your way. 

“Don’t worry,” Sam knocked his shoulder, standing up to do a final check of the gear. “Your girl is in good hands.” Sam added in a wiggle of his fingers in Bucky's direction.

You weren’t Bucky’s girl.. yet. He didn’t feel bothered by the term. In fact, he loved it and so badly wanted you to be okay with him saying it some day too. Though it was still worth correcting Sam. It didn’t seem fair to put a label on something without consulting you first. Not to mention Sam’s teasing about you and Bucky had been going on for months and Bucky did not want to indulge him.

“She’s not mine,” Bucky replied, scrubbing a hand down his jaw.

Sam carried on. “Boone is doing the training protocol instead, but I’ll manage the final evaluations next week.” 

A quiet groan escaped Bucky’s lips. “Boone is a jackass.”

“I don’t disagree that he can be a bit too self assured - but he has proved himself in the field and will be a great mentor to this cohort.”

“Wasn’t he one of the agents Steve benched a few months ago - after his annual physical? What’s the term they used - he was doping?”

Sam sighed. “He was clean but a couple of his buddies were thrown out. But Boone is good, Buck. She’s gonna be fine.” With a final glance at the screen between them, Sam clapped his hands. “Let’s get this over with, shall we?”

---

When you applied for the job at Stark Industries for their medical team, you weren’t entirely sure what the role was going to entail. Your years of working as a nurse at the busiest emergency room in Chicago had given you plenty of experience with, well, everything and anything imaginable. You were always prepared for the unexpected.

What you hadn’t expected though was the pace - it was significantly slower than you imagined. Most of your days revolved around small visits from agents for anything from minor injuries and lacerations to annual physicals. On occasion you’d support when the Avengers came in, but usually they worked directly with Dr. Cho or the other on site doctors.

You figured the cure for your unrelenting desire for more was to get on the field medical team - a group of agents and trained nurses who accompanied the Avengers or other strike teams on missions, acting as a resource for any injuries to civilians and team members alike. Not every mission needed a team and sometimes it would involve last minute travel, but you didn’t mind.

When your application for transfer was finally accepted, you couldn’t get over how excited you were. You had been working hard for months getting into better shape, especially your stamina. Sure, maybe you could do a bit more when it came to targeted strength training but you had qualified on the initial testing to even get into the training level, so you’d be fine.

You could do this.

Truthfully, you were really excited about it. And Bucky had sent you the most encouraging message before he left that morning and you just.. You knew you could do this.

Bucky's words echoed: “...you wouldn’t have been picked if you weren’t capable. You’re more than ready and, well, uh, I’m proud of you.”

You were going to do this well and you were going to make yourself proud, too.

Most of your excitement depleted when you walked into the gym though. You joined the rest of the agents in the training group and braced yourself when you saw Agent Nathan Boone standing with his tablet, calling out names for attendance. 

“Wilson had to suit up as Falcon and jump on a critical mission this morning so I’ll be running the training program this week,” he explained as he sized up his group, which included you plus another half a dozen training agents. 

Without a doubt, Boone was the worst replacement for Sam you could think of. Boone exuded a confidence you couldn’t quite wrap your mind around, given his frat guy personality. Hiding behind his smarmy grin, linebacker build and perfectly coiffed hair - he was a real jackass. 

You tried not to let your mind race as Boone walked you all through the upcoming week of training. You’d be going over everything from basic self defense skills to hand to hand combat strategies to overall endurance drills. Then he explained that next week it was Sam Wilson who’d be doing the final evaluations.

“So let’s prove to him you’re all a good batch, okay?” Boone’s demeanor shifted as he got into his coaching mode. “Let’s start with a warm up run. Onto the treadmills.”

This wasn’t your first interaction with Boone, though you weren’t sure he would remember you. 

During your first few weeks you’d been responsible for doing the annual physicals for most of the agents. It had been a very repetitive (and boring) assignment, until some anomalies came up in the test results. A few agents, including Boone, had weird things flagged on their blood and urine tests - mostly markers that indicated steroid use. Which was completely against standards for agents and employees at Stark Industries. 

One of them, some bulky aggressive asshole, tried to convince you to look the other way but you had ultimately reported it. The fallout caused a huge uproar between the medical team and the agents, with the consequence coming down on a handful of agents who were fired due to drug use. Boone had escaped that fate somehow, passing his re-test with perfect results. And even though HR promised you it was a sealed case, you were always worried it had left a bit of a target on your back.

Nothing had come from it. The next round of physicals you assisted with didn’t involve any of those field agents and no other concerns had been flagged. Everything seemed back to normal.

In fact, you had seen Boone once since that whole controversy. A few months ago you passed him flirting with one of the admins in your department but you kept your head down and ignored him. That was it.

Hopefully the week of training wouldn’t be soured by your history with him but you figured it was safest to go in with an open mind. 

Thankfully, by the end of your run, as you were moving onto some basic tactical drills, he continued treating you just like everyone else. Generally firm and distant overall, but nothing strangely out of the ordinary. His barked orders were delivered to everyone evenly. If he had any recollection of your connected history, he didn’t bring it up.

The first day of training had been tough, especially since you still had a few extra hours of work to log afterwards. When you returned to your reporting station in the medical wing, you had to really settle your mind down and talk your way through the unkind thoughts racing around your brain.

You could do this. 

The second day focused exclusively on muscular endurance, which wasn’t really your strong suit but you managed to keep up with the group all the same.

Boone had the entire cohort going hard - with a lot of tough but constructive encouragement coming from him along the way. When one of the other trainees dropped their barbells, it seemed to irritate Boone immensely too. He let out a few curses as he helped them pick the weights back up then apologized for his reaction but the flare of anger was evident. 

When you were all heading back to the locker rooms, it was one of the other agents muttering about ‘roid rage’ that raised a red flag for you. 

It was during the third day of training that you felt the first tug of resistance with Boone. It was small things that you couldn’t help but file away. The way he delivered supportive commentary to everyone else in the group but only gave you critical feedback. During one of the practical scenarios, he undermined all your answers.

“I see why you’d think that way if you’ve never done this before but I can tell you by experience, it wouldn’t work. Bit of an amateur way of looking at things, actually. You need to do better if you’re going to be in the field with experts. Are you sure you passed the interview for this role?”

He said things in a way that didn’t always seem personal to you, but he certainly delivered them in a condescending tone. 

But, maybe, well, maybe you were just reading into things. You were feeling tired already and not really sleeping, so your focus was a bit off. 

Yeah, you could do better, strategize better, think things through in a better way.

On the fourth day, after a morning of weapons training and spending time at the range, the session moved onto sparring drills. It was quite basic - Boone walked the group through easy to follow hand to hand techniques, spending time here and there with each person to adjust their form. 

Everyone who qualified for the med team had to pass certain physical testing standards already. You had been working hard in the gym for months to get your mind ready, though you knew you weren’t very experienced in anything related to defensive techniques.

When he got to you following one of the scenarios, there was a firm frown on his face. “You need to be less in your head.”

You nodded, flexing and stretching your hands out. “Okay. Uhm okay, well, do you have any tips on how to–”

He was quick to cut you off. “Figure it out. I don’t have time to teach you critical thinking skills.” Following a sharp finger snap, he pointed directly at you. “And what’s with the glasses?”

“Ran out of contacts this morning, but I can do without them if I need to. Its–”

“They’re a safety risk.”

He didn’t care for your explanation or offer you any other advice, instead just muttering something as he moved on and tapping something into the tablet. None of his feedback had been helpful. Christ, you figured maybe it was worth starting a list to consult with Sam about following your evaluation instead. 

You just had to get through one more day with Boone. You were tired - down to your bones, from the physical and mental work during this week.

But it was nearly the weekend and that meant next week was approaching. Most importantly, the training would be done and you would have a real date with Bucky on the books, too. You couldn’t wait.

---

The last training day was mostly a culmination of everything you had gone over from the week. There was more endurance testing, some strength and performance work and the day ended with more sparring and situationals. 

You knew this was the light at the end of the tunnel. And when everything was wrapping up, you were relieved to finally be done with taking instructions from Boone, too.

Until his final speech. “You’ve been a great group and I would say most of you are ready for next week. Wilson will be impressed.” After a few more notes and instructions for the following week, he dismissed everyone. As you headed back towards the locker room, he called your name.

That made your stomach drop. He waved you back over towards the mats.

“I just wanted to give you a heads up,” Boone started slowly, eyes glancing around the empty room before he looked down at his tablet screen. “Here is the report on your training this week.” He turned the device so you could read over it.

After the first line, you took it from his hands. “Wait - what?”

“I just don’t think you’re ready.” Boone crossed his arms. “You’ve got the medical knowledge, sure. But the rest of it, even if you had another two months to train, I’m doubtful.” He took the tablet back and continued scrolling, as if he hadn’t just delivered such a disappointing blow to you. “It’s up to you whether you still want to do your test with Sam next week, but if I was in your shoes, I’d tap out.”

You swallowed hard, head tipped slightly to the side as you took in what he was saying. “That doesn’t make any sense. I kept up with everyone here this week.”

“This is a controlled environment; I don’t think you can hack it in the field.” Boone shrugged. “Like I said, you’re more than welcome to do your evaluation but I don’t think this will impress The Falcon enough to solidify your spot on the field team.”

“Good thing you’re not in charge of this decision then,” you bit in return, taking a step back. It felt like he was egging you on and you didn’t like it. Even worse that you were alone with him in the gym. “I don’t have to prove shit to you.”

“You don’t have to, or you simply can’t?” He countered, tossing the tablet to the side as he crossed his arms. He sized you up, eyes drawing up the shape of your body. “Let’s try something.” He motioned to the mats. “I’ll give you another chance to change my mind about that report. Maybe I misread your abilities and intentions.”

You knew the right thing to do would be to walk away and ignore how he was antagonizing you. But a tiny voice in the back of your head kept reminding you that you were good, that you had earned your place here. That you needed to show him that. 

No, you didn’t.

Yes, you did.

You took a deep breath and stepped forward, placing yourself in the middle of the mat. “Fine. Let’s do it.”

Boone laughed, standing in front of you. He scanned you over again. “Scenario. You’re in the field, there’s a civilian who needs medical attention. You’re alone with them as everyone else explores the area for threats. But, it's night time, it was a busy bit of action and –” Boone reached over and pulled your glasses off. “And you lost your glasses in the chaos.”

Before you could protest about the logistics of this stupid scenario, he threw them to the side.

You shook your head and immediately stepped back. “What the fuck?”

“Maybe you should have worn your contacts today.” He replied and this time, there was something more at the edge of his words. Something unsettling.

This was a bad idea. But he was waiting for you to reply, to call his bluff and tap out. You growled to yourself and stayed.

“The civilian has a broken limb so you’re on the ground beside them.” Without even hesitating he placed both his hands on your shoulders and shoved you down to your knees.

None of this made any lick of sense. This wasn’t a scenario you’d end up in. You wouldn’t be alone or you’d call for backup.

He continued without a second thought, moving to stand behind you, placing his hand on the crown of your head. “And someone comes at you from behind – now you’re compromised and so is your civilian.”

You sat there on your knees, chock still. A red flashing light was going off in your mind but for some reason, you stayed.

A low, grumbly laugh escaped him. “See? Not only are you a terrible nurse but you have no fucking instinct—”

You immediately swung your leg up to hook behind him, not sending him down to the ground but gaining enough of your own momentum to plot out your next move. Planting a foot, you lunged forward and grabbed his waist, pulling him towards the mat.

That really set off whatever anger had been simmering in him. The next thing you saw was the training mat as your face and torso were being shoved against it. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Your shouting felt useless as your body writhed under his weight. Your cheek dragged across the plastic mat as you moved, burning against your skin. “Get off of me, you—”

“Defend. Yourself.” Boone barked back, adjusting to grab your arm. He gripped your elbow, then twisted your wrist behind your back. A jolt of pain rushed down your shoulder. “Took me a few days but then I remembered your face.”

You cried out, squeezing your eyes shut. “Please just stop. What is—why are you—”

“Three of my friends, my brothers – you ruined their lives, you know that? They lost all their job prospects, they have fuck all left because of what you did. You know, we need that stuff - to keep up with supersoldiers. There is nothing fucking wrong with some pharmaceutical help. If I’m backing up Captain America, I deserve the boost.” With his knee pressing against your back, he leveraged himself to sit up a bit straighter. But his grip on your wrist remained, growing tighter and tighter. “If you had just turned the other way and ignored those tests—”

“I was doing my job,” you mumbled back at him. “They were the ones who broke the rules and—”

His voice hadn’t quite grown to shouting but the intensity grew. “And you are the one who suffers now, alright? And you sure as hell aren’t joining the field team. I’m going to make sure of it.”

---

All Bucky wanted to do when they got back to the compound was text you. It was late Sunday night but he didn’t care.

After the grueling week he and Sam had, Bucky took comfort in knowing soon enough he’d get to see you. He wanted to know about everything from last week - from training to everyday life, he just wanted to talk to you. Crossing the threshold from friends to something more was scary but during his long, sleepless nights, you provided a strange sense of comfort to him.

Without doing a dang thing. Just knowing you made him better, inspired him to be better and to be present. 

“Hey,” Sam tugged on Bucky’s arm before he headed to the locker room. “Medical check first. Then you’re free to send your little smiley face emojis to her.”

Bucky grumbled but didn’t have the energy to argue with Sam. The mission had gone well but hadn’t been the smoothest for either of them. While they both returned unharmed, Bucky knew coming down from these sorts of weeks properly was important.

Finally, after a clearance from the nurse and a quick shower - Bucky was turning his phone back on.

He dismissed all the messages from Steve and an Avengers group chat he liked to ignore then finally found his way to his conversation with you. Seeing a slew of your thoughts over the course of the week made him smile.

You: good luck this week - come back in one piece, please <3 

You: made it through day one and two, turns out my five-story walkup apartment is good for my cardio skills after all lol You: remind me of that next time I complain about the stairs

You: day three has proved that I do need to work on my upper body strength You: wanna be my personal trainer? ;)

You: miss you, hope everything is going safely You: this week has really kicked my ass

Your messages did peter off by Friday and although Bucky longed for more, he assumed you were probably just tired after the long week. Plus, the training wasn’t for the light of heart. Sam had shown him the schedule and although it was standard, its intensity was intentional. Not that Bucky doubted you - he knew you’d been preparing as best as you could since you had shown an interest in joining the field team months ago. But that could really exhaust someone by the end of it.

And tomorrow you had to power through a final evaluation with Sam too, so Bucky hoped you got to spend the rest of the weekend resting.

He dropped down onto one of the benches and planned his response.

Bucky: hey doll, made it back safe and sound Bucky: in one piece, I promise :) Bucky: can’t wait to hear about last week, I’m sure you did great Bucky: good luck tomorrow, I’ll come find you after the eval Bucky: sweet dreams 

---

Bucky felt a little bit silly, lingering outside the training gym. At least he wasn’t pacing, that would have been an even worse look. He leaned against the opposite wall to the doors, arms crossed.

Something just felt a bit off for him and, well, finally seeing you would help ease his mind. It was just strange – the lack of communication. Sure, he had sent his message quite late the night before but he assumed he might hear something back from you during the day.

But no, it had been radio silence. He could attribute it to your needing to prepare for your evaluation but that didn’t seem like enough of a justification. In all the times you and he had been friends, you always managed to send a reply.

He would just have to settle for an in person update, following your testing with Sam. Five other agents exited the gym by mid afternoon, but you never showed up at the door. 

Sam did eventually emerge, tapping quickly against his tablet. He came to a halt when he spotted Bucky waiting, arms now tightly locked behind his back.

Bucky looked over Sam’s shoulder, trying to glimpse into the gym before he met his eyes. “How’d she do?”

Sam let out an awkward laugh. “Well, she didn’t show. She sent me an email earlier saying that she was sick.”

Bucky’s brow furrowed slightly. “Oh.” 

“I know, weird. What’s even more weird though is that when I said we could reschedule her for another date, she tapped out.” Sam raised his shoulder to shrug then showed Bucky the screen.

Bucky scanned over the message and frowned. It was true. Your reply to Sam was short, explaining you didn’t want to reschedule and declined any further interest in the field team. That was it. You were out.

“Given how she sent me a five-paragraph essay explaining how excited she was to join the team, this seems out of character.” Sam tucked the screen under his arm and patted Bucky on the shoulder. “Give me an update after you talk to her.”

“What makes you think—”

“Oh, I already see your wheels turning. You’re doing the math on how quickly you can get to her place.” Sam called after him as Bucky turned to leave. “Let her know I can reschedule her anytime!”

---

You knew you couldn’t ignore Bucky forever. It was just.. it felt like too much, thinking of a way to reply. After what happened with Boone on Friday, every single thing in your life felt like climbing the steepest mountain.

It was absurd how quickly things had escalated. You should have just walked away the instant Boone brought up your evaluation. Getting on that mat with him was really fucking stupid and.. here you were.

You could barely remember how you got home Friday – dazed and confused and numb. After Boone finished screaming and you had stopped trying to fight back, you curled up on yourself. You fought back tears over the humiliation and pain, hands shaking as you grabbed your things from the locker room. One ridiculously overpriced cab ride later and you made it home to your studio in Astoria.

Then you cried in the shower and all the way to your bed - where you stayed as long as you possibly could on Saturday, dousing yourself in painkillers just to try and stay asleep.

You knew you needed to go to urgent care, or even just an emergency room - somewhere you could afford the x-ray. You had never broken a bone before but you had seen plenty of hand fractures during your time working in triage. You couldn’t make a fist, your hand was bruising up towards your wrist and the pain was excruciating. The image of Boone stomping on your hand and wrist as you tried to crawl away was imprinted in your mind…

You were stuck on the climb though. The mental battle of trying to figure out the best lie to tell the admitting nurses anywhere was daunting. Christ, how would you explain this?

You had to - you had to tell someone. The way Boone had flown off the handle, how he attacked you verbally and physically, he couldn’t get away with it. You knew the right thing to do but… fuck if you weren’t scared. He had made it pretty clear he’d be keeping an eye on you. And there was no way you’d be able to do your test with Sam now.

If you reported him, you’d probably have to get HR and the police involved and what if he denied everything and—

You ended up in a helpless loop every single time.

Saturday came and went. You only left your apartment to visit the nearest drugstore for a new compression bandage and more pain medication. Sunday passed by just the same. You skipped your normal spin class and barely spent time outside of your bed. 

The pain in your hand was growing worse and worse. You had to use your left hand to send Sam and your manager messages - because even just moving your right hand made your stomach swirl. And the guilt about not responding to Bucky was growing bigger and bigger too. 

How could you explain it? Boone had pressed your buttons and you pushed back and look what happened. How could Bucky be proud of you now?

Your phone had buzzed mid afternoon, just after you were supposed to be doing your session with Sam.

It was Bucky - worried and asking if you needed anything for whatever illness was plaguing you. 

You ignored it.

When he called, you ignored that too.

You were balled up on the end of your couch, eyes glazed over as another episode of your favourite show loaded up on Netflix. You knew you needed to eat something, that the pain medication on an empty stomach was a recipe for disaster. But… you couldn’t get up. Laying perfectly still with a bag of frozen vegetables on your hand was the closest thing to relief you had.

Then, someone was knocking at your door. The noise made you gasp, though you couldn’t move. You could ignore the noise along with everything else. It was probably just your downstairs neighbour back to complain about your TV again and –

Whoever was at the door knocked again, this time calling out your name. 

You recognized the voice.

Bucky.

He called your name out again. “Listen, I don’t care if you’re sick. I just want to make sure you’re alright. I grabbed some soup from that place I was telling you about.”

You sucked in a deep breath and pulled yourself up off the couch. You really, really wanted to see him - just the idea of his smile made everything feel a bit better. But then you couldn’t hide anymore and… hiding felt safe.

“I’m okay,” you finally replied as you got approached. “Feeling better but I might be contagious, Buck.”

You sensed some relief from him as his feet shuffled on the other side of the door. “Sweetheart, I.. I can’t even get sick, okay? I just need to see you.”

“My apartment is a mess.”

“I don’t care.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Bucky, I’m.. I’m not at my best right now.”

“I don’t care.” He said your name once more. “Please.”

You pulled up the hood of your sweatshirt then reluctantly reached for the door knob.

---

When you finally opened the door, Bucky was relieved. But when you immediately turned away to return to your couch without a word, his relief felt misplaced. Something was wrong. Your sudden weekend illness and dropping out of the new job training weren’t adding up to anything that felt good.

He was worried.

Bucky had never been inside your apartment before. There were a handful of occasions after work or some happy hour thing when he dropped you off but this was new. He liked the idea of seeing your home but he wished it had been different circumstances. 

Home was a little studio, with a compact kitchen ahead of him across from the door. Beside it was a cozy living room area separated from the bed and windows, divided by a short bookcase. It was so very you and Bucky wanted nothing more than to just be there with you, scan over the books you like and curl up together on the couch.

But it wasn’t the time to daydream. Instead, he stepped into the kitchen to deposit the takeout bag, retrieving the soup before moving to where you were curling back up in your blankets. 

“How are you feeling?” He took another step closer but stopped when you leaned away from his approach. He took a seat opposite you and extended the container in your direction. 

“Yeah, I’m.. okay,” you replied with a shrug. “Thanks for the soup.” You took it from him, reaching across yourself awkwardly with a shaking hand, and rested it on your lap. 

He took the moment of silence to get a better look at you. Behind your glasses, your eyes were swollen, as if you had been crying. Bucky watched you carefully maneuver the spoon and it wasn’t lost on him you were favouring your left hand. In fact, your right arm was barely moving. 

“Do you need anything else? I could run to the pharmacy..” He trailed off as his eyes shifted to your coffee table, which was littered with an array of pill bottles. Mostly painkillers and what looked like a melting bag of frozen peas. And tucked under the table was… a half empty bottle of wine. Not exactly the type of self medication for a stomach bug or the common cold.

You closed your eyes, taking another taste of the soup before gently moving it to the table. “I think the worst of it has passed. Just.. tired now, I guess. I’ll be back at work tomorrow.” You smiled, just barely, then it disappeared as your eyes shut.

Bucky considered that the perfect opportunity to change the subject. Your name left his lips. It was quiet. You peaked one eye open to look at him.

“What happened last week?” he asked.

You laughed, though it came out quite empty. “Just five very intense, rigorous training days. I wasn’t great but.. I managed, I guess.” 

Bucky cut to the chase, though he couldn’t predict your reaction. “So how come you’re not doing the final evaluation?” 

A long sigh escaped you, rolling your eyes before leaning back again. You stared at the ceiling. “Should I just start adding you to all my correspondence with Sam?”

“Don’t be mad at Sam,” Bucky replied. “I asked him and he only told me because he was worried.”

You laughed again, with more of your body. The same emptiness remained and this time it seemed to cause you pain. You winced, swallowing an uncomfortable look on your face as you turned to peer at him. “I’m not mad at Sam. I’m mad at..” You shook your head. “At myself, I guess.”

“Why?”

“It doesn’t matter, alright? It’s over and I missed today and–”

“Sam offered to resch–”

“Bucky, it doesn’t matter!” You snapped this time, cutting him off. 

Bucky shook his head. Something else was going on. He had never seen you like this before - despondent and… broken. Sure, your friendship had rarely escaped the walls of work but the foundation between you both was solid. He had seen your ups and downs, and you had seen his too - recalling bad dates and ranting about missions and laughing over lunch and all of it. 

He knew you. The person sitting across from him, it wasn’t you. 

“Sweetheart, please tell me what’s going on.” 

Your eyes were closed again, head shaking. “Nothing is..” Your lip trembled. “Maybe you should just go..”

Bucky stood from the couch, but he didn’t move to the door. Instead, he crouched right in front of you. “If that’s what you really want, I’ll go, okay? I’d never stay if you didn’t want me here. But you opened that door for me. You could have already sent me away, soup in hand. I’m here right now because I care about you.” He said your name again, like a plea for you to look at him. “I can help, okay? Whatever is going on, I can help. Let me help, please.”

Your breath picked up, intertwined with winces of pain as you adjusted on the couch. You crossed your legs then moved your arms carefully, using your left hand to tear away your sweatshirt. Finally, you opened your eyes and extended your right arm to Bucky.

Despite being wrapped in a compression bandage, the swelling was evident on your fingers. Bruises littered your hand too and continued upwards to your t-shirt line. 

Bucky dropped to his knees, looking from your face down towards your arm. He whispered out your name, desperately trying not to fill in the blanks without getting more information from you. “What happened?”

You simply shook your head, swallowing whatever response was trying to escape. 

“Can I–” He motioned to your hand, cautiously reaching for it. You didn’t move, allowing him to unwrap the bandaging. You winced at the touch and change in pressure, eyes clamping shut again as you breathed deeply. 

Bucky skated his fingers along the side of your forearm, down towards your wrist and hand. Light shades of purple and blue decorated your skin but the swelling was what concerned Bucky the most. 

“I’m worried something is broken.” You finally said quietly, letting out another groan of pain as Bucky flipped your hand over to assess the underside. 

He wanted to reply with ‘yeah, no shit’ but figured that wouldn’t be helpful. If you hadn’t sought out medical attention by now, there was probably a good reason. You were smart, a nurse who could easily figure out her own symptoms. But something was stopping you. Embarrassment, guilt.. Maybe fear? 

Bucky was gentle as he held your hand. Christ, his mind was racing. “What happened? Did you fall? Did something go wrong last week?”

You shook your head.

Although there was one giant fucking obvious glaring answer to his next question, Bucky wanted to hear your response. Maybe you had fallen or dropped something on it this weekend. Maybe you had crushed it between a door or something, anything else than someone hurting you. Because the thought of anyone doing that, inflicting any intentional harm –

Bucky sucked in a breath and looked back at you. Your lower lip was already trembling again. He had to ask. He didn’t want to, but he fucking had to.

“Sweetheart, who did this to you?”

“I should have walked away, Bucky. I..” You immediately trailed off, head shaking again as you tried to collect yourself. 

With you, Bucky would be patient. He would always be patient. A few moments ticked by as he waited, still holding your injured hand in his. 

“It was supposed to just be a routine scenario, a test sort of thing I guess. But he was… he was volcanic. The anger erupted and he - he.. Bucky, I was just doing my job, it’s not my fault his friends lost theirs an-and he got so mad. I tried to get away but he just kept going.”

He said your name quietly. “Take a deep breath for me, okay?” You did, breathing in tandem with him a few times as you steadied yourself. “You’ve gotta tell me a name, please.”

After another deep breath, you nodded. “It was Boone.” You closed your eyes. “I think he’s taking drugs, steroids–again and he just.. I shouldn’t have engaged him at all. And I tried to get away once I realized he was freaking out..”

Bucky stilled, lips pulled into a straight line. “Hey, look at me.” He waited for you to meet his gaze. “This isn’t your fault.” God, he wanted to say so much more but the simmering anger below the surface was bubbling up. And that wasn’t important. You needed an x-ray and real medical attention. Then, maybe he could face the rage coursing through his bones. “Sweetheart, we’ve gotta get this looked at, okay?”

Reluctantly, your head shook. “I know. I just.. I don’t want to have to go to urgent care and explain what happened. I should have already gone and I feel so stupid about the whole thing and-and–”

He placed his free hand on your knee to stop you. “Okay. It's okay. I think I know where we can go. Let me make a few phone calls.”

---

PART 2