#Primo is probably the most okay with how things turned out for him but like

[ficandkaboodle]

Something something something analysis about how messed up it is that the leaders of an organization (cult) meant to bring people together and validate their freedom of choice, self-love, and expression are implicitly estranged and messed up by that same org by being denied or only given heavily restricted access to those things.

[homeofthelonelywriter]

Let's call it Fate | Part 6

(A/N) Not me digging out my old Latin textbook for this chapter. Istg. Also, I think I'm getting a hang on the chapter lengths, kinda proud of myself for that one.

Pairing: Cardinal Copia x Reader (no Y/N)

Warning: google translate translations, abusive parents (especially mother), arranged marriage, age gap, bullying, talk of grandparents and death of a grandparent, misstreatment of Ghouls

Prologue | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13

Over the next few days, you established a simple routine.

Wake up and get ready, before going to breakfast. After that classes until lunch and then join Papa Primo in the greenhouse. And when it’s time for dinner, accompany him back up and meet Lila for the daily gossip trait. After dinner, find your spot in the library and study until it was time for bed.

Most of the time studying was spent on Latin since it was giving you the biggest troubles, but you also like to review whatever you had learned in the other classes. And from time to time, Copia would join you, either to work on his own things in silence or to help you learn Latin. Either way, you enjoyed spending time with him.

It was just another day, Friday of the first week to be exact. You were excited because you had the weekend off and on Sunday you’d join the first black mass. Lila immediately noticed your good mood when she joined you at the usual table for dinner.

“Any plans for this weekend?”

You shrugged as you were shoveling food into your mouth. Work had been exhausting that day. Exhausting but fun.

“I’ll probably explore the Ministry so more. And I promised Swiss and Dew that I’d meet their friends, have a picnic, or something like that.”

As soon as you mentioned the Ghouls, Lila made a face. Since she’d been raised by people who subscribed to the whole ‘The Ghouls are our servants’ way of thinking, you spent a tremendous amount of time showing her in how many ways that was wrong. And she was starting to understand and change her way of thinking, but she still reacted weirdly whenever you mentioned them.

“Lila…”

“I know, I know. It’s just…it’s weird to hear someone talk so casually about them. And to be honest, they kind of scare me. Especially the tall one.”

You giggled when she mentioned Swiss. And you understood why she might be afraid of him. He was tall and strong, and his constant grinning and showing off his canines wasn’t helping.

“He is harmless, I swear. He gives really good piggyback rides.”

The moment you mentioned the piggyback rides, she choked on the water she was drinking at that moment, making others stare and you burst out laughing. Once she had calmed down, she shook her head, before looking at you with a lopsided grin.

“You are something else.”

She hesitated for a second.

“Don’t ever change, okay?”

You grinned and nodded, reaching out and grabbing her hand in yours.

“You neither Lila.”

You were soon done with dinner and bid Lila a quick goodnight, before you rushed out the mess hall and to the library. The woman at the counter smiled at you, as you waved at her and the Ghoul, you think his name was Aether. He didn’t talk much.

By now, you had the way to your table memorized. Straight ahead, fifth bookshelves turn to the right, continue for two bookshelves before turning left, and then straight ahead until you reach a little hidden nook. As usual, you were the first to arrive. So, you took out everything you needed and started working on reviewing the vocabulary you learned that day.

“Magnus - big. Non - not. Laudat - to praise. Et - and. Summus…ahm…shit. Summus…summus…”

“The highest.”

You smiled, turning to look at Copia who stood behind you with a stack of papers in his hands. He was also smiling, slowly walking up to the table. Once he was in reach, he gently sat down the stack of papers and fell into the chair beside you.

“Paperwork?”

“Si. Things my fratello didn’t have time for today.”

Copia rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed.

“Let me guess, he spent his entire day on the couch surrounded by his lovers.”

He chuckled and nodded.

“You’re not wrong, he did spend most of his day like that. But he did have time to go over and agree upon one thing. His clothes. For the black mass this Sunday.”

Copia sounded so done, but at the same time amused, that you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well, when you’re Papa those are the difficult decisions you’ll have to make.”

He turned to look at you, his eyes wide in surprise.

“You think that I’ll be Papa one day?”

“Of course. Why shouldn’t you be?”

Copia shrugged, averting his eyes to the paperwork.

“Most in the clergy think me too…imbarazzante, timido. They don’t think I have what it takes to be Papa. Well, my mother thinks I do, but she is my mother, and-”

”And she is right. Hell, you’re already doing most of the work that should be taken care of by the Papa. Plus, you’re smart, kind, caring but also strict when needed. You know how to lead people but you’re not power hungry. I think you’d be an amazing Papa. Plus, you look really good on stage. Kind of jealous of that one fan.”

At some point during your rant, your eyes had drifted back to the book in front of you, scanning the vocabulary. But when Copia didn’t respond or move, you looked up, concerned you said something wrong. Instead, you found a blushing Copia with tears in his eyes.

“You…you- I uh…I mean…thank you, cara. You don’t know how much these words mean to me.”

He gently grasped your hand and brought it to his lips, pressing a firm kiss to your knuckles, while looking you in the eyes. You immediately felt your cheeks heat up and averted your eyes, before looking back up. Copia squeezed your hand, before carefully setting it down and turning to his stack. But as soon as he turned his attention there, he looked miserable.

“Let me help you with that.”

He looked up, slightly confused, and was about to protest when you stopped him.

“You always help me, now let me help you. It’s only fair. Plus, there are no classes tomorrow, so I can sleep in.”

After a second of consideration, Copia agreed and handed you about a fourth of the stack. He quickly explained what you had to do, before both of you started working in silence. After an hour you understood why Papa Terzo didn’t want to take care of this stuff. It was boring and exhausting and after that one hour, you had to take a break, rest your eyes for a second. You carefully placed the paperwork a bit further up the table before resting your head on your arms and closing your eyes.

“If I fall asleep, wake me in like ten minutes, okay?”

Copia just hummed as he continued reading and before you knew it, you were asleep.

Hushed voices were what woke you up.

“I brought the paperwork to your office, Cardinal.”

The voice was unfamiliar, you wondered who it was.

“Grazie, Phantom. If you could just open the door to her room for me in un secondo?”

“Of course.”

The voices stopped, as you felt a sense of security and care wash over you, falling back asleep.

“I got it from here, thank you.”

“Of course, Cardinal. Good night.”

You heard footsteps retreating as you suddenly felt something soft underneath you. Instinctively, you nuzzled against the cool fabric, twisting your body until you were lying on your side. A familiar chuckle reached your ears and you automatically smiled.

“Buona notte, cara mia.”

You felt soft lips meet your temple and immediately you wished they’d stay there for just a moment longer. But they quickly left your skin as familiar footsteps walked away from you before a door was shut gently.

You wanted to get up and chase after that feeling of security and love, but before you could, sleep took over you again.

Translations: Si...yes fratello...brother imbarazzante...awkward timido...shy cara...dear Grazie...thank you un secondo...a second Buona notte, cara mia...Good night, my darling

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Tags: @antoniamarie1989

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[darkling-books]

The Latin Professor

You are a student of his, the cardinal… your crush seems to be getting out of hand and your embarrassment begins to rise as the cardinal offers to help you study for your upcoming Latin test.

1110 words

(Hey guys, I know it's been a long time since I have written anything… i guess this me trying to get back into the flow of writing. This part isn't very long.. But I wanted to introduce the characters, and how they are with each other before switching. This is probably only going to published on tumbler as my confidence is shot at the moment. I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: none so far…

The Latin Professor

Part 1 > Part 2 > Part three

Cardinal Copia had never been the most popular of people, even when he ascended to cardinal in his early adulthood. People always saw him as uptight, scholarly and tiresome. You however… You didn’t see him that way, you saw a handsome, knowledgable man with an undeniably strong work ethic, but you kept your opinions to yourself, afraid your peers would jeer at you for your crush on the cardinal.

This particular day you were working hard in the library, studying for your upcoming language assessment in Latin. You were starting to think that taking the extra course wasn’t the best of your ideas. It wasn’t that you were inept of learning, it was the fact the Cardinal taught the latin class, while you admire him for his efforts in trying to teach you... The class always ended with you daydreaming about him. He would be stood teaching you, making sure your pronunciation was perfect, and all you could think about was how you would like his hands all over you and his perfect mouth in places that would make lucifer himself blush. This often leads to you losing your train of thought and embarrassing yourself even more in front of him. The cardinal most likely thought you were ditsy, a poor student, but if he did… he never let you think that. His praise was never something he kept to himself around you.

As you were flicking through the pages of Latin for dummies, your head in your hands as you struggle to take in the words on the page in front of you, you hear a small cough from behind you. You let out a big huff in annoyance, the last thing you needed right now was siblings bothering you when you needed to study. you slam the book closed and turn in your seat. Your anger quickly turning to embarrassment the moment you notice that it wasn’t a sibling, but the cardinal stood behind you.

“Are you studying hard for your test Sorella?” the cardinal said to you as your face turned a beetroot shade of red.

“I am cardinal, yes. I’m sorry, I thought you were a sibling” you quietly reply shifting in your seat and tidying up your hair... Anything to keep yourself distracted from the awful truth you had just huffed at him. Keeping your temper in check was never your strong suit and you had just shown that to the person you admire most.

“Si, Si… Why don’t you take a break from your studies? You seem frustrated. I hear the gardens look beautiful this afternoon. Would you like to take a walk? I could help you with your studies.” The cardinal offering a small smile to you, his attempt at comforting you, not once questioning your temper.

“Oh, erm… are you sure? Are you not too busy? You quickly answered him, in an attempt to remind him of his duties, in another attempt to avoid him.

“Oh Sorella, I could take some time for my favourite student, si?” he beamed back at you. You felt your stomach grow warm the moment he called you his favourite student, how could you say no? you simply couldn’t.

“Okay…” you smile at him picking up your books, and then offering him your hand to help you up. He obliges and as you stand up, he tucks your arm into his keeping it effortlessly close to him.

Walking though the ministry you both barely say more than a few words to each other. Both of you happy to walk in comforting silence. You steal a glance at the cardinal as you both reach primos gardens, his eyes firmly on the path in front of you both... You couldn’t help but notice how handsome he looked when he walked with purpose. “The gardens do look beautiful today, maybe a little more because you’re here…” you thought to yourself as the smile eclipsed your lips.

“How about we sit here Sister?” the cardinal asked, snapping you out of your thoughts.

“Erm... Sure, sure” you quickly answered, hoping he didn’t notice the fact you were completely lost in thought.

You both sat down under the willow tree together, the sun making its presence known, casting shadows on the ground that dance though the low-hanging leaves of the tree.

The cardinal turns to you “et soror, ubi incipimus?” (so sister, where do we start?)

You smile at him; you love hearing him speak Latin, he always speaks with such passion. You pull out your book and flick though the pages, looking to formulate an answer for him.

“lets 'legere cardinal” (let's read Cardinal) you goofily answer him. Your answer made him smile so sweetly at you, he always liked your willingness to try.

“Perfect, Sorella!” he answered you. You smile at him, his praise sending you a little pink.

You carried on flicking the pages of the book, and the cardinal sat close by, his legs crossed under his cassock. Your eyes darted the pages as you both sat together.

“Now sister, tell me, how do you say beautiful”

“Pulchra, Cardinal” you answered him, quickly.

“Si… Sister, now can you write it for me?”

You take out your pen and set about writing out the word beautiful, the cardinal shifting in closer to watch that you are doing it correctly. You spell out the word on your pad, saying the word as you write... Mimicking each letter as you spell it. The Cardinal smiles at your efforts and leans in “you see this here Sister? It should be written like this… if you don’t mind...”. Taking your hand, he corrects the word you had just written, lovingly moving with you as you both spell out the words together. “Like this…” he adds, smiling at you. Your eyes drift to the pen and your hand, his hand is placed around yours… and all you can do is look with the embarrassment slowly setting in. You quickly remove your hand, the pen falling to the page and the cardinal removing his just as fast as both of your eyes meet.

“Sorella, I’m sorry... I was only trying to help” the cardinal said to you shyly, his own embarrassment setting in. His face hinting at a pink tint as he waits for your reaction.

“No, cardinal… it’s ok... I have to go... I’m sorry...” you collect your book, slamming it shut and getting to your feet. Running away from the scene before you die of embarrassment. You ache to look back, but your heart won’t let you as you quickly run through the ministry and slam your dorm room closed behind you.

[emeritus-fuckers]

I got dumped on my birthday and I'm still not okay 😭😭 so if you could write some hcs or a fic on how all the papas would comfort you or deal with the situation? Please

But if you're busy or don't want to then it's seriously okay ❤️❤️❤️

I'm so sorry for you, babe! No worries, I got you! From the request I assumed you wanted it platonic, I'll gladly do another one if you want a romantic one, too - Jez

Papas comforting you after a heartbreak during your birthday party headcanons

Includes: Primo, Secondo, Terzo, Copia, young and old versions of Nihil. Sodo, Swiss, Aether, Cirrus and Cumulus mentioned in Copia's. Sister Imperator mentioned in Nihil's.

Primo

At this point we all know he's a top tier father figure.

If he witnesses it, the first thing he does is talk to you and ask the ghouls to take you outside so you can catch a breather while he gives the bastard who hurt you a very stern talking to.

Keep in mind, he's in his late 70s/early 80s. He might appear old and fragile, but this man can be scary. Very scary.

Might pretend to curse the poor bastard. Or actually do curse them.

Needless to say, when he's done, the whole room is quiet for a long time, even if he barely raised his voice.

He doesn't slam the door when he leaves. Doesn't need to.

He then joins you outside and gently holds your face, wiping your tears gently with his thumbs.

You spend the rest of your day in his garden or greenhouse, which is also his own little butterfly conservatory.

He'll make tea with you (from scratch!), walk you through the process of it and teach you which one is good for what.

Do you want to talk about the situation? He's all ears.

Do you want to distract yourself and forget about? He'll give you a tour of the place, teach you about the plants and butterflies (fun fact, I can also teach you about butterflies - Jez).

He'll keep you company as long as you need it and should you need a parental figure to help, he will.

He's absolutely the sweetest in that regard.

Secondo

Facepaint or not, this motherfucker can be intimidating as fuck. The poor bastard that broke your heart will absolutely end up crying just from this man's glare.

It's up to you to continue to party after that jackass leaves. If you want to continue the party, Mr. Worldwide over here will absolutely let out his inner party animal and help you forget everything.

If you wanna leave, you're leaving, no questions asked.

He takes you shopping and pays for everything you look at for more than five seconds. Everything you touch, too. And don't even try to protest.

"It's a gift from me to you. You won't turn down Papa's gift, now will you?"

Bro will gaslight you into letting him pay, it's best for you to just go with it, trust me.

Takes you to a fancy restaurant, somehow manages to get the entire place empty for the two of you. Don't ask me how.

Takes a week off and turns it into your birthday week. He takes you anywhere you ever hinted at wanting to go.

Even if abroad.

You are getting everything you want and that's it. There's no time to think about some idiot.

Terzo

He most likely causes a scene, mocking the bastard stupid enough to hurt you.

It's almost like a stand-up routine, where he somehow manages to point out the very specific thing that asshole is insecure about.

Nobody gets to hurt his friends and gets away with it.

The way he acts also puts the spotlight on the one who broke your heart, letting you slip out and take a breather.

Terzo will end his little performance by either spitting on the shithead's face or straight up slapping them, really depends on how strong your reaction was. If it was bad enough, he'd punch them, no questions asked.

When he's done, he'll come and find you, offering you a hug. He'll hold you as long as you need, rubbing your back comfortingly.

He'll ask you what you need. He knows nobody is gonna know how to help you better than you.

He'll probably have his ghouls keep people away from you until you feel better.

He will probably ask Primo for advice, too.

Terzo might be a shitty cook and and even worse baker, but if you like to do stuff in the kitchen, he'll do his best to help, even if it's just silly things like handing you ingredients.

He'd probably take you to an amusement park in the evening.

Buys you all the colors of cotton candy.

Buys you a big plushie of your favorite animal.

Terzo's comfort food is Chinese take out, so he'll probably get you to try that, too.

You get a second, better birthday party with him and the Ghouls.

Copia

Back in his cardinal days, he'd just take you away and try his best to soothe you.

As Papa, however, he got a major confidence boost (he's still very awkward, but he can be serious and confident when needed) and he won't let that slide.

Copia is by no means as scary as the other Papas can be, but he's got charm and he can make people just kinda... Flow with what he says. And his ghouls are a menace.

So when he throws a comment about the bastard, his ghouls (especially Sodo, Swiss and Aether) pick up on it and bully the life put of them.

Meanwhile Copia and the Ghoulettes leave the party with you, taking priority in your comfort.

Copia leaves you in their care for a bit so he can arrange something better for you. Cumulus is put in charge of taking care of you.

You get a sweet little homemade spa session with them and once Copia comes to pick you up, the Ghoulettes giggle at how flustered he gets for no apparent reason.

"Ah, I am terribly sorry for leaving you, I just wanted to make everything perfect for you, I hope they didn't mess with you too much!"

You ignore Cirrus's little giggle as she watches you both leave. She totally ships you guys.

Copia takes you to his room, his rats up and about, eager to play with you as she sits you on his little couch and runs to finish dinner preparations.

The food he made was just a little bit burned (he apologized for several minutes until you laughed and assured him it's fine), but you can definitely tell he made it with love!

Gaming night with him and the rats! He lets you do most of the gaming, only jumping in when you need help or giving you some tips. Even if the tips are a bit useless, it's the thought that counts.

You get ice cream, too. And have a sleep over. If you're uncomfortable with sleeping in the same bed, he takes the couch.

Copia just wants you to be comfy!

Young Nihil

This man will throw hands, no questions asked.

I mean it. He's a hoe, but he's very protective of his friends.

The bastard who broke your heart? Yeah, he's on the floor now, clutching his jaw.

"Serves ya right. Fucking bitch."

Nihil definitely spits on them, too. Might kick them in the stomach once for good measure before turning to you, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and telling everyone to go back to partying.

Gets you a drink. According to him, it's the best thing to do after a situation like that.

"That's what I did after Sister dumped me. And now I'm as good as new!" (bold faced lie)

You probably were there to see that this dumbass was a wreck and had to comfort him after Sister Imperator ended whatever the relationship has.

In his eyes, he owes you for that. He's... A bit stupid, though, let's be real here.

Ends up focusing more on making the party great and making the idiot who broke your heart regret their decision.

Once he realizes that's not what you needed, he asks what it is, then. Because in his eyes, there's nothing better he could do.

Give him detailed instructions. He'll forget half of it, but he'll go all out on the half he remembers.

Old Nihil

Bro takes it personally.

Scoffs and berates the bastard like he's the one who got his heart broken??

Goes at it so hard he needs a minute with his oxygen tank when he's done.

He then proceeds to leave with you. And demands you tell him what you want so he can throw you a better party.

He acts like he's genuinely offended at how the original party turned out and the only solution is to throw a bigger, better party.

Strippers will be included.

And fireworks.

Old man goes out of his way to make it as big and loud as possible like he's trying to prove something to the world.

Just like when he's younger, he ends up a bit too focused on it. You have to remind him yourself that it's kinda about you and not his party.

He waves his hand dismissively at that, giving you a checkbook. Sends you shopping with some ghouls. Probably gets you a grand makeover just for the party.

He'll keep you close when you're back and will ensure this party is the best party you've been to.

He's not the best at comforting, but he shows his affection a bit differently.

[saruman-the-silly]

hi hi hi! i see your requests are open💕

would you be able to do some headcanons for the papas with an s/o whose love language is acts of service and sometimes won't even let them do a thing because they feel as if they aren't showing much love? eh, i don't know. then again, just a request and totally okay if you don't want to write it! much love <3

hellloooo yes absolutely :D and thank you for the request!! <3 - I added some abandonment issues for the reader whoops (it just seemed to fit well this whole thing and yall know me, I love me some fluff with a sprinkle of hurt/comfort)

Headcanons: Papas with a s/o whose love language is acts of service

Primo:

He's a big sweetheart. Of course he will appreciate it when you bring him a calming cup of tea when his back pain is flaring up.

Primo would most definitely start to question it, when you all you seemed to do was kind things for him, and not accepting the same treatment for you.

One day, when you were in the garden with him, picking some raspberries while he was tending to some roses, he decided to ask you about it.

"Amore, I appreciate all the nice things you do for me, but why don't you let me return the favour?" You mumbled something quietly, so Primo gently asked you to repeat it.

"Well.. I guess I just want to prove my love to you so you'll stay with me. I really do like doing things for you, seeing you smile makes my day a lot better." The poor man was baffled by this, why would you need to prove your love to him?

Primo would assure you gently but firmly that there is no need to prove your love to him, you being there is enough. He would reprimand you for thinking he would leave you for anyone else, Primo is old and has loved you for a long time, that ain't happening.

Secondo:

Secondo's very confused.

Like, baffled. He isn't used to anyone doing nice things for him. (Which of course makes you wanna beat Nihil's ass because fuck him and his shitty parenting)

You do so much for him, and while yes, he grows to appreciate it you two are probably gonna argue about why you aren't letting him return the favour.

"OKAY- okay.. I want to do nice things for you to prove to you how much I love you. And because I like doing nice stuff." Secondo's mask of seriousness and no-bullshit drops right then and there.

He wraps his arms tightly around you, squeezing you while whispering something in Italian to himself. You're not sure if it's a prayer or a curse, or maybe both.

"Dolcezza, you do not need to prove yourself to me." He struggles to say anything else, so he kisses you. Secondo pours all the love and appreciation into the kiss, making you realise how much this man truly loves you.

Terzo:

Any of the Emeritus brothers are not really used to nice things being done for them, but especially Terzo. (Nihil was always the hardest on him, which makes you have violent thoughts whenever you see his miserable, pasty ass wandering around the ministry)

Terzo puts on a charismatic playboy persona to hide away the insecurities, so you doing kind things to him makes him fall in love instantly.

He, at heart, is a romantic so he drops the playboy persona and begins to do kind things for you as well.

You object, but Terzo is very, very persistent. It kind of turns into a funny competition of who can do the most kind things for one another.

In all seriousness, after having fun for a while he sits you down and asks about it.

"I feel like I need to prove my love to you because I'm afraid you will find someone better." Terzo tears up at that, and envelopes you in a hug.

"I am sorry I made you feel like this, you are more than enough for me amore," he sobs in your arms.

The two of you would just cry together, getting it out, and then you would have an honest, good conversation about your relationship.

You would do something fun after all that serious talk, like a movie marathon or prank Secondo.

Copia:

Like Secondo, Copia would be very confused at first. No-one has been as kind to him as you were (after hearing that you replaced Nihil's hearing aids with m&m's - he's old as shit and now he can't bother anyone but himself)

Copia loves you. Like, not just because you were kind to him but once he gets to know you? He adores you.

All the kind things you do for him? He appreciates you so much, because as we all know, Copia is drowning in his work because he's a sweetheart who can't say no if someone asks him to do something.

All the coffee you brought into him late in the evening, the little notes of encouragement you left on his desk, he loves and appreciates you so much for it.

That's why he was so confused when you confessed to him that you're afraid of him finding someone better than you.

Copia drops to his knees in front of you, tenderly holding your hand in his.

"Il mio amore, la mia vita, do you have any idea of how much you truly mean to me? You are my treasure, treasure I shall hold with gentle hands and dear to my heart, because I cannot imagine a world without you in it."

You cry (oh come on when he drops to his knees in front of you and gives a speech like that?? I'd cry as well lmao) and Copia wipes gently your tears away, smiling and then kissing you gently.

------------------------

Hope you enjoy <3 and again, thank you for the request, it was really fun to write!

[jajanvm-imbi]

⚠️Long Post Alert⚠️

Alright I've seen a lot of (negative) buzz around Disney's new show "Primos" so I'm gonna put my 2 cents in

According to the Primos wiki, the show is about "Tater, an eccentric 10-year-old girl with big dreams and, unbeknownst to her, a certain “it factor” that makes her exceptional. When her 12 cousins (“primos” in Spanish) move in for the summer, they help her discover just what it is. Tater’s aspirations and larger-than-life imagination are seen via entries in her super-secret diary, which turn her deepest thoughts into grandiose animation sequences."

FIRST, it's yet ANOTHER piece of children's media about the main character + their large Latin American family.

Upon doing some research apparently this show is about the creator's personal experiences, which okay valid. But when creating media that meant to represent a community it would be better to offer a DIFFERENT perspective rather than give us the same trope that has been done to DEATH.

And I'm gonna be real with yall, I LOVE Coco and Encanto, but both movies also fall under this trope. Not all Latin American families live with their extended family, we don't need ANOTHER piece of media perpetuating the stereotype.

Also, Disney has been putting out a few shows on Disney Channel and Disney Junior that are clear knock offs of Nickelodeon shows. Some examples:

And...hm....lemme think....a kids TV show about a Mexican girl and her quirky large Mexican family getting into some Mexican™️ shenanigans...where have I seen that before...?

Oh right

Yeah the premises are slightly different, but it's essentially the same trope so already right off the bat Primos feels like a knock off version of The Casagrandes.

SECOND, there are many stereotypes already present in the series just from tbe opening theme. Many of the cousins fall into stereotypes themselves, particularly the names. Some the names of the cousins are Gordita, Big Nacho, Nachito, and Cookita. I've seen people justify the use of these names by saying many Latin Americans are given these names as nicknames, which is true. But then again, having a characters named Nacho and Gordita in a show that's supposed to be about LatAm representation is just in bad taste. It's giving "Marco Diaz from Star vs. the Forces of Evil being half Mexican and being obsessed with nachos for some reason but not representing his Latino heritage in any other way other than him wearing that Day of the Dead themed costume in The Blood Moon Ball ep." It feels lazy, and of course, stereotypical.

On TOP of this, the word "Cookita" in many LatAm countries is slang for pussy and the suffix "-ita" means small. And the character with this name is the BABY. So yeah maybe naming the B A B Y character something that to many Spanish speakers means "little pussy" in a show ABOUT Spanish speaking Latin Americans probably isn't the wisest decision.

Another detail people have been pointing out leans into negative Mexican stereotypes is the use of the "yellow filter".

Now I'm gonna be real and say I'm not 100% convinced about the yellow filter being used here. The show takes place over the summer, so the use of yellow might may be used to give the feeling of how hot it is, but I can totally see why Latin Americans would find this offensive.

Also the name "Terremoto Heights" has been heavily criticized. Terremoto means "earthquake" in Spanish and the earthquakes are common in LatAm countries. Then again, show takes place in LA, where a lot of earthquakes occur too. So Im not 100% convinced that this is flat out racist either, but it's definitely in poor taste.

THIRD, the thing that is being SLAMMED at the most, is the improper Spanish grammar and the creator's response to people pointing it out.

In the theme song, the phrase "¡Oye! Primos" is used a lot, which means "Hey cousins!" The issue with this phrase is that "Oye" means hey but in the singular tense, and "Primos" is plural. If you plug in "¡Oye! Primos" to Google translate you'll get Hey Cousins regardless, but in Spanish the phrase is not grammatically correct. In order for it to be grammatically correct the phrase would either need to be changed to "¡Oigan! Primos", "oigan" being the plural word for Hey, or "¡Oye! Primo" and make primo singular. People have been telling this to the creators of the series and well...they haven't exactly been taking it well.

Here's what the voice actress of the main character Tater, Myrna Garcia Velasco said her on social media (Instagram I think, I could be wrong) in response to the bad Spanish:

(If you can't listen to it I'll just summarize. Velasco says that Spanish is the language of the Spanish conquistadors and the only reason why Latinos are LATIN American and not indigenous is because of the Spanish, and to stay mad if you think her incorrect Spanish is an issue. She also brings up how they're "trying to make a good show" for kids who "don't have a grasp on any language" or something?? Idk that's pretty much what she's saying")

Basically this response doesn't make any fucking sense. "Spanish isn't our original language so it doesn't matter if I speak it correctly or not. I'm a NATIVE Mexican so it doesn't matter if I speak Spanish correctly or not"

???????

Girl what the fuck does this mean??? News flash, but the majority of Latin America has been speaking Spanish for CENTURIES. You go to Mexico or most other Latin American countries and you'll find them speaking SPANISH. Yes it's because of the Spanish but it's part of our culture now whether you like it or not. It's like saying "oh it doesn't matter if I speak English correctly or not cause English isn't the US' ORIGINAL language anyway" ?????

Now, the story IS about a mixed kid. Tater is half white half Mexican, so if Tater is a Latina girl who doesn't know Spanish fluently (otherwise known as a "No-Sabo" kid), then the imperfect Spanish would make sense. If the idea behind Primos is to represent the Latin American kids who don't speak Spanish, then yeah thats fine and it was a directoral choice. But judging by Velasco's response, that doesn't seem like thats the idea?? She immediately got defensive and brought up the Spanish colonizers?? Which is relevant??? HOW???

On top of that, one member of the creative team, (not 100% sure who) called someone a "Grammar N@zi" for pointing out the grammatical errors and, well...

That's def not helping their case.

How the HELL are you gonna make show about a Spanish speaking Latin American family and NOT SPEAK SPANISH PROPERLY??? How the HELL are you gonna start beef with SPANISH SPEAKERS over whether or not it's important to speak Spanish CORRECTLY when portraying SPANISH SPEAKING PEOPLE IN MEDIA??? Yes slang exists, yes different LatAm countries speak Spanish differently, but grammar still exists??

OVERALL: Do I think Primos is this horribly racist dumpster fire? No. Are there MANY choices in this show that are just in poor taste? Absolutely 100%. Are the responses from the creative team outta pocket? Yes of course.

If you ask me, I think the main reason why people are so outraged over Primos is because the stereotypes and tropes are tired and dated, and people KNOW what writers are capable of. The response of this teaser, sandwiched between The Owl House ending and the premier of Across the Spiderverse, which have STELLAR LatAm rep, is proof of that. Luz Noceda, Miles Morales and Miguel O'Hara are SHINING examples of good SPANISH SPEAKING LatAm representation in children's media. We CAN have good LatAm protagonists in mediation, we've SEEN IT. We don't need all the stereotypes and overused tropes, so it makes sense why so many LatAm people feel like Primos is offensive and a step backwards.

Disney is getting lazy, they need to get their shit together

[multi-fandom-of-madness]

I hope you don’t mind but I have a question. On your page you say you write of a band, I guess I would like to know more about the band if that is ok. Is it from a film or are they people? I am sorry for the bad question. I like your writing; hope you continue to write and enjoy the time off.

Oh I love this question!!! I love getting to go on tangents about this, so literally just come on in and ask me any questions you have, and I will answer (to the best of my ability).

Anything linked will look like this (and underlined).

Okay so, Ghost is an actual band. They’re a Satanic* metal band (you can find them on any music service). If you’re on TikTok, you probably have heard Mary On A Cross. That’s from their EP Seven Inches Of Satanic Panic.

Ghost actually has quite a bit of lore, which means they have characters and other things that go with the band in itself. Oftentimes, you’ll see someone say in their writing that they are “writing about the character, not the people under the mask.”

If you want, I can also post a timeline of events that are (I think mostly) canon events to explain things more in depth.

The frontman is Tobias Forge, but he uses a silicone mask to turn himself into different characters (Papa Emeritus I- Primo, Papa Emeritus II - Secondo, Papa Emeritus III - Terzo, and Papa Emeritus IV - Copia). So Tobias Forge is the lead singer, he just acts as different characters onstage.

Being a Papa basically means that dude is the leader of the Clergy (like a pope). Copia is the current Papa, so he’s currently the ‘head’ of the Ministry.

Primo, Secondo, Terzo, and Copia are all brothers because Papa Nihil is their father. I highly recommend watching the series I have linked at the end of this for more lore that I didn’t explain or didn’t remember (such as characters like Papa Nihil, Sister Imperator, or Mr. Saltarian) (I can also explain that stuff in a different post if you’d like).

Nameless ghouls are the people Tobias hires to perform during concerts (also commonly called Rituals). In lore, they’re basically elemental demons that the Papa’s (the anti-pope’s) summoned to perform with him and spread the word of Satan.

I’m just going to discuss the ghouls as characters and not the people under the mask because they’re masked and nameless for anonymity. Everyone basically knows who is under the mask, but some people prefer not to know, so I won’t go into the at the moment.

The current lineup is (name - instrument - element):

Dewdrop - lead guitar - fire**

Rain - bass - water

Phantom - rhythm guitar - quintessence***

Mountain - drums - earth

Swiss - backing (?) guitar, vocals, tambourine - multi-ghoul (which elements is up to you, but most say fire/quintessence)

Cumulus - keyboard, vocals, tambourine - air

Cirrus - keyboard, keytar - air

Aurora - vocals, tambourine - multi-ghoul (which elements is up to you, but most say water/air)

Previous ghouls that I know of but are no longer touring:

Aether - rhythm guitar - quintessence

Sunshine - vocals, tambourine - multi-ghoul (which elements is up to you, but most say fire/air)

Omega - rhythm guitar - quintessence

Alpha - lead guitar - fire

Mist - bass - water

Ifrit - lead guitar - fire

Zephyr/ChAir - keyboard/keytar - air

Ivy - drums - earth

Cowbell - cowbell - unsure of element

Special - interview ghoul (just Tobias Forge when he was still anonymous) - unsure of element

Plus others that I haven’t really gotten the chance to learn

Considering the ghouls are nameless and masked, it’s fairly difficult to figure out who is who when you’re just getting into the lore. If you want, I can make separate posts talking about how to tell them apart.

If you couldn’t tell, basically each element is attached with certain instruments.

Also the men are referred to as ghouls and women are referred to as ghoulettes, but people use ‘ghouls’ also as a general term. Not super relevant information, but just a little side note. A lot of people headcanon certain ghouls with they/them pronouns (commonly Rain & Phantom), and a lot of people also consider them as transgender (commonly Dewdrop - especially considering the elemental transition).

* A lot of people who listen to the band don’t identify as Satanic. Personally, I don’t, so don’t feel like you have to convert to Satanism to enjoy any of the content. Ghost is basically (for lack of better terms) a parody of the Catholic Church. They just has a lot of imagery in regards to mixing Catholicism and Satanic things.

** Dewdrop used to be the bassist after Mist left the band, but switched to lead guitar after Ifrit left. He used to be considered a water ghoul, but once he switched to lead guitar, he became a fire ghoul. In the lore, people say he had to go through a transition, so if you read any of the fanfiction, you’ll probably see quite a bit of angst in relation to his elemental transition.

*** Quintessence is usually seen as something to do with things with the mind - I’m not too good at explaining it, so you might just roll through google (or fanfiction) for better information

Papaganda: Episode 1 - Episode 2 (complete)

The Summoning: Playlist - 7 Videos (complete)

The Chapters: Playlist - 17 videos (still ongoing)

Jesus Talk With Father Jim DeFroque (this is kind of just a random thing that they did, it’s not super relevant to the lore) (from my knowledge)

[insertdisc5]

Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

[wormstacheangel]

Day 2 of @spnprideweek and part 2 of sobrenatural fic

Dean ended up coming home a little sooner than he should have, but he didn’t want to lose the shower to Sam. He didn’t want to be sweaty and cochino for his not date with Cas.

Maybe he should have cooled it with the cumbia, making it too obvious that Dean was in a good mood because as soon as he was heading out the door—smelling great, he may add—su Tio called him over to the kitchen.

“¡Oye! ¿A d��nde vas tan cambiado?” Tio Bobby was by the stove, smashing the beans for dinner, as he raised his eyebrows at Dean. Sam was standing by the sink peeling tomatillos as he cranes his neck to look over at Dean.

“Dude, what did you do? Break the damn cologne bottle?”

“Es mucho?” Dean lifted his arm to smell himself. “It’s fine!”

“¿Me vas a contestar?” Bobby threw in some whole chiles into the beans and let them simmer away. “¿Quieres que te hable en inglés? Where are you going, niño feo?”

“Estas siego, viejo!” Dean walked over to the small mirror that hung on the wall. You can barely see yourself in it because of the Jesus painting on it, but it still worked. “I’m just going out with some friends.”

“Mmm.” Bobby hummed in reply, going back to turn off the beans once they looked how he wanted it. “Llévate a tu hermano.”

“Tio!” Dean turns around, wide-eyed and heart racing. “I can’t take Sam!”

“I’ll go get my coat!” Sam rinsed off his sticky hands and started to walk out of the kitchen, but Dean grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him in close. Pinning him down against his chest, which was difficult considering the kid is a damn giant.

“You aren’t coming with,” Dean mutters to him before begging Bobby again. “Tio, I’ll take Sammy with me tomorrow! Nomas hoy no.”

“¿Y porque no?”

Dean looks between curious eyes, not knowing how to explain himself. He can’t say he’s going out with a friend cause then there would be no reason why Sam couldn’t tag along. But he didn’t want to come out to his Tio and brother now! Fuck that shit; he’ll just lie.

[continue reading under the tab or on ao3]

“I’m going to meet up with Cassie.” Technically true.

Bobby’s eyes widened, and Sam’s grin grew while he wiggled himself free from Dean’s grip. They both liked Cassie and were mad at Dean for breaking things up between them. However, it wasn’t tough when Cassie rarely gave him any attention, always busy with work and school. She had to know Dean was holding her back, so he broke it off. She was mad at him for a while but ultimately thanked him for doing something she didn’t have the courage to do. Rumors still spread, though, because of course, they do, about Dean cheating, but he didn’t care much about those.

Su Tio, though, cared a lot. Dean has to constantly remind him that Dean didn’t cheat on her, and he just broke it off cause Cassie was too smart for him.

Cas is probably too smart for him too.

“Okay, pues, have fun! Bring her home to say hi.” Bobby practically pushed him out the door with Sam happily towering behind him with the same annoying grin.

Dean wondered how disappointed they would be if they found out he was going out with a guy instead.

Dean drove to Cas’s house, waiting outside a few minutes before seven. He wasn’t sure what he should do. Does he honk the horn, or is that too rude? Should he park and get out of the car to knock? That seemed too much like a date thing. And he still wasn’t sure if this was a date or two not-strangers hanging out.

He stayed in the middle of the street, unsure of what to do until finally, the front door opened, and Cas stepped out with a jacked hanging on his arm. He stood outside and squinted at the car before tilting his body down to check if that was Dean.

Dean’s panic from before melted away while he nervously waved at Cas. He saw Cas’s eyes widen with a slow-growing grin before he practically ran over to Dean.

As soon as Cas opened the door, Dean felt so sure that there was nothing more right than having Cas sitting in his passenger side.

“You ready to go, Angelito?” Dean looked Cas over; he’s dressed in dark jeans and a grey long sleeve. He has never seen Cas in anything but that rumpled old suit. He never minded the suit, but now he wished he could burn it because all that suit did was hide Cas’s muscled body. Dean couldn’t stop the whistle that escaped his lips as he said, “Mira! You look good, Cas.”

The compliment was shocking to them both, for Dean especially. He awkwardly cleared his throat while trying to think of an excuse. Maybe even use the whole English as a second language excuse, but Cas quietly responded with a, “Thanks, Dean. You look pretty good yourself.”

And maybe those words broke him. He knew he was attractive but having Cas say that made his head spin.

“Your car is beautiful, by the way. I wasn’t sure if that was you in here.”

“Did you expect me to come in that bike?” Dean jokes before slowly driving away from the house, Los Angeles Azules playing softly on the radio did not make things any less awkward.

“I don’t know what I expected. I’m just glad you came, Dean.”

Dean stopped at the end of the block and turned towards the guy sitting beside him. Cas was already looking at him with puppy dog eyes and a beautiful, hopeful smile. His breath catches in his throat as his mind gets overwhelmed with wanting to reach out and touch Cas. Just to make sure the beautiful boy in his passenger seat was real and make sure que su corazon isn’t just playing games with him.

Instead, he tightened his hold on the steering wheel, fingers burning in protest, as he melts into Cas’s smile. Wanting to relax and just be with him for tonight, not caring que alguien lo va mirar. Enjoy this non-date that looks like it has the chance to become an actual one.

But is that what Dean actually wanted?

“Dean,” Cas reached over to gently touch his arm as if knowing that Dean’s mind had wandered off. He looked hesitant, as if not sure if he was allowed to. “Do you want to go eat? We can if you want.”

Dean looked down at the hand that was burning him through his clothes, knowing damn well that Cas was giving him the chance to make this into something more. Algo que se sentía que iba a ser cósmico en su vida. Y Dean quería eso en su vida.

“Yeah,” Dean answered both questions. His hand loosened on the wheel before he reached over to take Cas’s hand in his. Hearing Cas’s breath catch in a gasp, but he didn’t look up at him; instead, Dean twined their fingers together before letting them sit in the seat between them. Dean focused back on the road before turning left to his side of town. “I got the perfect place. Te va gustar! You’re not like vegan or anything, right?”

“No.” Dean turned to catch Cas looking at him still and knew they were both feeling the same excited electricity that clouded the car just by the giddiness in his voice. “Where are you taking me on our, oh um…Oh! primero! Primero date, Dean?”

Ahi esta! La confirmación que necesitaba. This is an actual date! Pero, las palabras no le dieron pánico. No. Instead, Dean squeezed Cas’s hand as he laughed, feeling like he would just fly away if he didn’t hold on.

“You passed high school Spanish, Cas?”

“I did, but google translate did most of the work.”

When Dean parked outside the familiar food truck, he squeezed Cas’s hand once before they got out. They walked together, bumping shoulders while their hands stayed buried in their pockets. Cas didn’t question their lack of touch; instead, he smiled up at Dean as he listened to him rave about his friend Victor’s food.

“Not as good as mine, but it’s good,” Dean adds as they make it to the front of the window, where Victor can hear him.

“Cabron!” Victor said with no fire in his tone but a growing grin across his face. He held his hand out for Dean to take for a handshake. “Nice to see you, primo. Where’s Sam?”

“Lo deje en la casa!” When Dean took a step back, he put his arm around Cas’s shoulder to squeeze him close. “Pero, I brought a new customer.”

“Hi.” Cas looked a little shaken up, and Dean just wanted to lean closer to leave a kiss on his cheek, but he restrained. No necesita mas chisme circling around about him. “I’m Cas.”

“Victor.” Victor raised an eyebrow at him but reached over to shake Cas’s hand in response. “What can I get you and the pendejo around you?”

“Oh. Dean isn’t-” Cas frowned over at Dean, but Dean just shook his head, letting him know that it was okay. Cas squinted at him before he gave a small smile, not understanding but accepting. “You order for me?”

“Sure, Angelito. Anything you don’t like?”

“As long as it’s not so spicy, I don’t mind anything.”

Cas stayed stiff under Dean’s arm as they ordered and waited for their food. Eventually, Dean couldn’t help himself; the street light and the neon sign were the only things keeping this place lit, but it was still pretty dark, so he turned his face to press his nose against Cas’s temple.

“¿Qué pasa, Angelito? What’s wrong?”

“Dean.” Cas sounded shocked as he started to move back, but Dean held him a little tighter. “Someone is gonna see you.”

“Que miran. Just tell me what’s wrong.”

Cas sighed but relaxed back into Dean. “I just didn’t like him calling you that. You aren’t stupid, Dean.” Dean chuckled, and Cas turned to look at him, glaring. “I don’t see how this is funny.”

“Ay, mi Angelito, he didn’t say it in a mean way. It’s just the way we talk to each other. He’s my friend.”

Cas blinked at him a few times before he fell back against Dean, his arms crossed over his chest. “Well, I don’t like it.”

“Trust me, Cas, it’s fine. Quedate conmigo long enough, and you’ll be calling me the same thing.”

Cas didn’t say anything for a few seconds, and Dean wondered if he said the wrong thing again, but then Cas clicked his tongue before turning to Dean. “I don’t know what…um, that word you said means. Que..que-?”

“Quedate?” Cas nodded, looking back at Dean, waiting for him to explain. It brought warmth to Dean’s chest, knowing he’ll have to repeat it in English when before it came out as a joke. He swallowed hard as he looked back at those baby blues. The words barely came out in a quiet whisper, “Quedate. Stay. Conmigo. With me. I said, stay with me.”

“Oh.” Cas looked down at Dean’s lips as he talked. “I can-I can do that.”

Dean hummed a response as his eyes traveled down to Cas’s tongue poking out to lick at his lips. His heart was hammering in his chest until it came to a stop when he heard, “Dean! Oye, cabron! I ain’t calling your name again!”

They pulled apart, and Dean jogged over alone to grab their bag of food. Dean decided to get a few of his favorites and drinks.

“Victor,” Dean called his friend over again. “No le digas a nadie que estaba aquí. Okay? Or I’m gonna steal all your customers otra vez.”

Victor’s eyes traveled from Dean to Cas, who was waiting where Dean left him looking angelic under the streetlamp, before falling back to Dean. He wondered what could be going through Victor’s mind right that moment, but then he heard his friend let out a heavy sigh.

“Whatever you say, primo.”

“Thanks. Call me tomorrow, and I’ll work for you this weekend!” Dean starts walking backward, back to Cas.

“Shit! Really? ¡No juegues conmigo, Dean!”

“Llámame mañana!”

Dean makes it back to Cas, who automatically reaches for the drinks to help, and motions for him to walk back to the car.

“Come on. I wanna take you somewhere else.”

Dean drove them somewhere nicer, more private, but still a parking lot.

As soon as Dean parks the car, he opens his door, “Come on; we can sit on the hood. You might wanna put that jacket on.”

Cas looks excited when he opens the car door and walks out into the parking lot that faces the beach. “Dean! Won’t we get a ticket?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just bring the drinks.”

They sat on the hood of the impala, eating and talking, as the sounds of the waves crashing to the shore mixed with la musica norteña coming from inside the car. Dean soon finds out that Cas doesn’t know how to dance, so he puts on one of his favorite mixtapes, and cumbia plays loudly through the speaker.

They danced in front of the headlights, if you can call it dancing. They always ended up bursting into fits of laughter as they fell into each other because Cas did have two left feet. Eventually, Dean just took Cas from around the waist, and they just spun around in circles.

Feeling Cas wrap his arms around Dean’s neck to hold him as their grins were so close together made Dean’s heart leap. Eventually, Cas’s forehead fell against Dean’s, and the dancing slowed to a nice sway even though the beat was only getting quicker.

“Cas?” He answered Dean with a soft hum. “Me estas gustando mas cada segundo.”

“I don’t know-”

“I like you.” Dean’s eyes closed as he leaned in to brush their noses together. “Mi Angelito.”

Dean never thought he would be here in this situation with a guy, but he has never wanted anything more in his life. Feeling strong hands run through his hair as a strong and firm body pressed against him. He loved the intoxicating smell of Cas’s woodsy shampoo that he would have never smelled on a girl. The stubble of beard rubbed against his chin as Cas turned his head until finally, fucking finally, he had those pink lips on his.

He should be scared. Esto no es algo que debería hacer con El pinche Sonidito playing in the background. He shouldn’t have one hand behind Cas’s neck to deepen the kiss, and his toes shouldn’t curl up when he feels Cas’s heavy sigh inside his mouth. He shouldn’t become so quickly addicted to Cas’s hands reaching under Dean’s shirt to press firmly at his back, feeling the familiar slight burn become a damn forest fire in him.

Esto no es algo que debería querer. Cas no es alguien que debería querer pero aqui esta. Queriendo a nadie más pero a Cas. Cas. Cas.

Cas pulled away just enough only to have their noses touching, their breaths still mixing, as he whispered. “I like you too, Dean.”

And yeah. That was it. That was all it took.

Las cadenas del maldito miedo that held him back from even thinking of wanting Cas this way, se rompieron. Dean ya pertenece completamente a Cas.

Cas grinned as he looked back at Dean, his hand reaching to cradle his face gently. His thumb was caressing Dean’s freckles on his cheek before he happily announced. “¡Me gustas mucho!”

Dean laughed, his arms reaching down to wrap around Cas’s waist and spin him around. Both of them laughing as they continued dancing and kissing until it was late enough that they had to go home.

[hakasims]

The Most In-depth Analysis of Luca Marinelli’s Characters You’ll Ever Need

You’d think I was done with classifications, but I’m not! There’s so much more I can say about Luca Marinelli’s oeuvre and his magnificent roster of characters. And yes, I’ve made this post before where I highlighted specific tropes that show up in a lot of his movies, but that was surface-level shit. This is an actual exploration of what makes a Luca Marinelli character besides being a kinky little whore. And don’t worry, it’s still in that user-friendly question-answer format because I love you.

Here’s the thing: Luca is a chameleon but he also has a type, and this type is:

✨ a (likely) queer repressed addict with daddy issues ✨

That’s the skeleton. Let’s see how many of his major roles possess that skeleton at all and what flavors they add to the picture.

Disclaimer: I excluded characters with little screen time and Joseph from Mary of Nazareth because he doesn’t deserve rights. Also, instead of going in the boring chronological order, I’m gonna start with the least typical character for Luca and end with the crème de la crème. The results may not surprise you.

Nicky (The Old Guard)

Is he queer? Undeniably.

Is he repressed? No.

Does he have an addiction? No.

Does he have daddy issues? I know we’re all deeply affected by our shitty father figures but I would genuinely question Nicky’s sanity if he were still on that shit at the ripe age of 951. A little tip for daddy-hating immortals out there: just do what Angel did and kill your shitty dad. Problem solved.

Is he violent? Despite doling out tons of violence, he doesn’t have a violent nature and seems uninterested in hating his enemy or delivering retribution.

Does he need a good night sleep? I’m sure nothing helps one sleep better than a Joe-shaped big spoon.

Does he need a good cry? Doesn’t seem like it.

Flavors: A perfect immortal warrior bean in a healthy relationship.

Conclusion: Ironically but unsurprisingly, Nicky is the least Luca-like character.

Guido (Tutti i santi giorni)

Is he queer? I don’t believe so but who knows? If someone told me he’s demisexual, I’d believe it.

Is he repressed? The movie may disagree, but I say yes, obviously.

Does he have an addiction? Not unless you count his romantic relationship.

Does he have daddy issues? His family is so supportive and wholesome it’s almost parodic.

Is he violent? He’s the opposite of a toxic macho dude, but then he has a violent outburst out of nowhere because the movie is bad.

Does he need a good night sleep? He doesn’t like sleeping at night.

Does he need a good cry? Naturally.

Flavors: An adorkable awkward nerd with flowery speech.

Conclusion: I can forgive straightness and wholesomeness but I can’t forgive lack of complexity.

Martin (Martin Eden)

Is he queer? I don’t believe so.

Is he repressed? Yes.

Does he have an addiction? No.

Does he have daddy issues? Not to my knowledge.

Is he violent? When he deems it necessary to be.

Does he need a good night sleep? Sure.

Does he need a good cry? Cry your little heart out, Martin!

Flavors: An arrogant, pretentious, politically confused writer.

Conclusion: A little too straight for your typical Luca, but he makes up for it with being complex and complicated.

Loris (Il mondo fino in fondo)

Is he queer? I don’t believe so.

Is he repressed? So fucking repressed!

Does he have an addiction? Nothing beyond his savior complex.

Does he have daddy issues? He has a shitty dad he’s spent his whole life trying to please, and also his mommy left, so like yeah, obviously.

Is he violent? He has his straight dude moments.

Does he need a good night sleep? Definitely.

Does he need a good cry? Oh yeah, let him cry, it’s good for him.

Flavors: A casually homophobic mother hen.

Conclusion: Ruined by heterosexual agenda.

Lui (Ricordi?)

Is he queer? I don’t believe so.

Is he repressed? Very.

Does he have an addiction? No.

Does he have daddy issues? A big sack of them.

Is he violent? No.

Does he need a good night sleep? Oh yes. To sleep, perchance to dream about anything other than his traumatic memories.

Does he need a good cry? So much.

Flavors: Up-his-butt and pensive.

Conclusion: Leave it to Luca to take a guy who would be an absolute nightmare in real life and turn him into someone I actually want to watch for two hours and see happy by the end.

Gabriele (Waves)

Is he queer? There’s evidence he might be gay.

Is he repressed? I’d bet on it.

Does he have an addiction? Doesn’t seem like it.

Does he have daddy issues? Nobody knows.

Is he violent? No.

Does he need a good night sleep? He probably will with how the movie ended.

Does he need a good cry? At least one.

Flavors: A sweet introverted guy who loves boats.

Conclusion: While not particularly complex, Gabriele has layers and nuances. Also give him a big muscular daddy.

Fabrizio (Fabrizio de André - Principe libero)

Is he queer? I don’t believe so.

Is he repressed? He was before music became his only career.

Does he have an addiction? Alcohol, cigarettes, sex, cheating - take your pick.

Does he have daddy issues? Not as bad as some of the other guys here but he’s heard his fair share of “I’m not mad, I’m disappointed” speeches.

Is he violent? He’s soft.

Does he need a good night sleep? He’s an artist, what do you think?

Does he need a good cry? He’s an artist, what do you think?

Flavors: Fabrizio de André is the flavor.

Conclusion: Even though it’s a biopic, there are still many Luca-isms there. He’s just that kind of actor.

Milton (Una questione privata)

Is he queer? It could be argued that he is bisexual.

Is he repressed? Do you even need to ask?

Does he have an addiction? About half of the breaths he takes are filled with cigarette smoke.

Does he have daddy issues? He seems to have a good and loving relationship with both his parents.

Is he violent? Not by nature.

Does he need a good night sleep? Yep.

Does he need a good cry? He certainly does.

Flavors: A repressed bisexual feeling powerless in a horrible world.

Conclusion: This is proof that Luca can carry a whole entire movie on his sexy shoulders, alone. Also Milton needs a safe and loving triad.

Mattia (La solitudine dei numeri primi)

Is he queer? I personally read him as asexual. Though assigning asexuality to characters who are traumatized is a dangerous path so don’t quote me on this, okay?

Is he repressed? Just the most repressed.

Does he have an addiction? It’s debatable whether self-harm and eating disorders can be considered addictions, but they’re part of his character, and I thought you should know.

Does he have daddy issues? His parents played their part in messing him up which then led to the big thing that really messed him up, though other than that his dad is barely a presence.

Is he violent? Not at all.

Does he need a good night sleep? At least 17 hours.

Does he need a good cry? Oh, so much. He needs all the cry.

Flavors: A quiet genius with lots of guilt.

Conclusion: Can you believe this was his first film role? Our boy is talented af!

Fabio (Lo chiamavano Jeeg Robot)

Is he queer? Undeniably.

Is he repressed? You could argue that he is repressed by being limited in his place in social hierarchy.

Does he have an addiction? Amazingly enough, no. He has fixations, though.

Does he have daddy issues? Thinking his father was a loser and not wanting to end up like him is textbook stuff.

Is he violent? Very.

Does he need a good night sleep? Yes please.

Does he need a good cry? He needs to purge his soul from all the bottled up stuff.

Flavors: A campy psycho.

Conclusion: Luca’s most iconic character, so of course he scored high on the list.

Paolo (Il padre d’Italia)

Is he queer? Undeniably.

Is he repressed? I can’t even start listing all the ways in which he’s repressed.

Does he have an addiction? He smokes a lot.

Does he have daddy issues? His issues are more of a mommy variety.

Is he violent? Not in the slightest.

Does he need a good night sleep? He’s the poster boy for needing a good night sleep.

Does he need a good cry? A good cry, a good weep, a good sob, a good bawl, *googles more synonyms* a good wail, a good squall...

Flavors: A self-loathing gay orphan in need of some life goodness.

Conclusion: What can I say about Paolo that all of you aren’t already thinking? Decent film, great character, excellent portrayal.

Mickey (Die Pfeiler der Macht)

Is he queer? Undeniably.

Is he repressed? It’s Victorian England, you guys.

Does he have an addiction? He smokes casually but other than that... eh. And don’t tell me he has sex addiction. He uses his body strategically.

Does he have daddy issues? If what he has isn’t daddy issues, I don’t know what is.

Is he violent? He’s got tons of bottled up aggression.

Does he need a good night sleep? It would be great if he could use the day’s darkest hours for sleeping.

Does he need a good cry? Undeniably.

Flavors: A conniving slut extraordinaire.

Conclusion: A major player in the book (says me who managed like 50 pages), Mickey Miranda was turned into such a nothing character in the miniseries that they needed a truly extraordinary actor to make him memorable. And guess what, Luca delivered.

Cesare (Non essere cattivo)

Is he queer? Not explicitly, but come on.

Is he repressed? Lethally.

Does he have an addiction? He’s an addiction textbook.

Does he have daddy issues? *Jake Peralta voice* Yeah, the guy without a daddy is the one with daddy issues. Explain that logic.

Is he violent? Oh yeah, he’s a rabid little trash goblin.

Does he need a good night sleep? So much.

Does he need a good cry? He’s had his fair share of good cries, but he could always use more.

Flavors: A aimless junkie.

Conclusion: The quintessential Luca. Beautiful.

Primo (Trust)

Is he queer? Listen, just because we don’t see him fuck a dude on screen it doesn’t mean he isn’t a motherfluffing queer icon. It’s not subtext; it’s TEXT.

Is he repressed? Where do I even fucking start?

Does he have an addiction? Oh yeah. And a coke nail to prove it.

Does he have daddy issues? I would need a whole separate post to unpack his daddy issues.

Is he violent? So very violent.

Does he need a good night sleep? Yes, please. On an actual bed in an actual bedroom.

Does he need a good cry? You can just tell.

Flavors: A ruthless criminal with a strong mafia boss potential.

Conclusion: The pièce de résistance of the Luca Marinelli filmography. Not only does he tick every box, he gets bonus points for the excellent wardrobe choices that emphasize Luca’s best features. Primo Nizzuto is everything great you want from Luca, except singing. (Though in my headcanon that whole white car in a snowstorm monologue was a musical number.)

[ficandkaboodle]

Okay but after making my whole summary of Gonst character breakdowns, it’s got me wondering more than before: Would Copia have turned out any better if Sister had kept him and raised him herself?? (Warning: This post is long by way of me meandering)

I’m just talking rubber duck debugging-style here, I’m not expecting to or even necessarily hoping to come to any kind of fixed conclusion. But Cardi’s current tendencies are absolutely a product of how he grew up: He craves attention, he depends heavily on more decidedly childish activities and comforts, he is socially awkward as balls.

So obviously things would be different if he’d been brought up by Sister. But how different? And would that have been any better for Copia’s sense of self-worth or how he interacts with the world?

Personally, I think no. If anything, in a really sad and arguably disturbing way, how things turned out might’ve been the lesser of two evils. Still a fucked up evil, but the somewhat more survivable one.

In spite of everything she’s said and done, Sister Imperator did love Copia. She just expressed it in a way that wasn’t exactly conducive to his anxieties or just overall respect for him as an adult with needs, sensitivities, and the complexities that come with having the life he’d had. She loved him, but she loved him in a way that aligned with her mannerisms.

We don’t know Sister’s story. We likely never will, at least not in full. But it’s safe to assume that if Sister wasn’t born into the Church, she was definitely brought to it at a defining age and was either bred to or was deemed competent enough to lead it as Imperator. As a result, the Church and its goals became her mission. She might not have started it, but it was her first baby. The irony being that by dedicating herself as staunchly and one-track-minded as she did, she neglected to celebrate it as humanely as she could beyond perhaps just the lust-indulgence.

I will be the first to admit I know virtually nothing about Satanism. But…I dunno, most of the Emeriti (save Primo) seem to be on a similar page on how to interact with their faith: Secondo celebrates indulgence, Terzo embraces the importance of the self and being your own ruler while also being kind to others, and Copia would end rituals reminding people to do both. Sister stands out in that she’s more focused on all work, very little play. As a result, most of what we see of her comes off as very bureaucratic. Business-minded. She’s always thinking of how to keep the Church from fading into obscurity.

As a result of how many of her decisions seem to always have a thread tying back to the Church's well-being, I'd dare say this means more personal decisions tend to be a bit more . . . I wouldn't say "impulsive", but they certainly aren't running on all cylinders if you get what I'm saying.

At any rate, I wouldn't necessarily say the business-mindedness disrupts any maternal instinct in her per se. It could be. But honestly, I don’t think Sister is necessarily cut out for motherhood by nature. And that’s okay! Not every person is meant to be a parent, and AFAB women especially bear the brunt of criticism when they don’t display motherly affection or instinct. Even if she wanted to be more present, I don’t think her mindset would have allowed it to be as easy. And y’all, motherhood is hard enough on its own and under normal circumstances.

Bureaucracy suits Sister because she wants to be there.

What I find interesting is that Sister carried Copia and his twin to term when she didn't have to. So some part of her probably did want to have children. Or maybe she went into it recognizing the importance of having heirs: Legacy is a recurring theme in Ghost's characterization, even if some characters wind up misusing or misunderstanding it.

Ultimately, though, she gave them up and kept her distance except for in the one way she understood how to interact with people: Bureaucratically. And Copia responded to it well (probably because, I dunno, he didn't even know they were blood-related).

Regardless, I think that in a way, the fact this was met positively assured Sister that this was a proper way to go in a sense.

In a way, her giving Cardi the antipapacy is her trying to be a good mother and give him a gift. Yeah, it's a gift coming 50-something years late but the intention was there, I guess. However, it comes at the cost of having his brothers offed to assure no radicalism. Copia doesn’t seem to mind (or at least isn’t written to) but the fact still stands: That’s fucked up, Sister, you can’t go around killing your child’s half-brothers to get him the job.

So now this leads me back to the question I posited earlier: How would things have been different if Sister had decided to keep Copia? Well . . .

I think, had Sister raised Copia herself, Copia would've turned out . . . worse.

He would have likely been more “confident”, but it would’ve been horrifically twisted in and of itself. He’d grow up knowing he was part of the Imperator line (or simply known as Sister Imperator's son at the very least) and that would probably make him feel entitled. He’s essentially a little satanic prince, nobody can tell him no. Nobody who wants to live, anyway.

But he’d also be incredibly lonely. Like, more so than he already is. He may not have friends in the canon but he does have admirers who are drawn to him for his kindness and his willingness to be a bit of a goof. He'd probably be much more depressed than Canon Copia is implied to have familiarity with, and probably sucks even harder at dealing with it. He doesn't have anyone to confide in, and I think he'd never want anyone to know his vulnerabilities because he's the goddamn Imperator's son.

I think in the Copia Imperator timeline, he’d have “friends” but it’s mostly just for clout and/or fear. They're Yes Men he has orgies with essentially and carts around on the Ministry Black Card. He doesn’t have much appeal because he’s a manchild but in an extremely bratty way.

The charm we get from Canon Copia's childish tendencies are completely gone because Canon Copia's antics are the result of coping mechanisms mixed with a mother that coddles him because she doesn't trust him as an adult or see him as much beyond the baby she gave up. In the Copia Imperator timeline, he'd be enabled and probably not given very much reason to be a better person or mature.

Also, he’d probably be more down to kill. I know it's easy to assume this because bratty manchild with power frequently equals a lack of respect for life, but I also think him watching Mommy have people killed off for convenience would have put into his head that he can do the same. Only when Sister does it, it's for the "good" of the Church. If Copia does it, it's probably because he feels that person wronged him. Even if he still had some goofy traits, he’d be reluctant to display them and take anyone witnessing them as slights.

And given Sister’s penchant for putting work above all else, yeah, I think she’d hire nannies. Which wouldn’t likely be conducive to their relationship, so he becomes desperate for her attention and tries to be more like her. He still has Cardi’s mindset that if he does this thing right, he’ll be loved but I think in a weird way, he’d be more cutthroat about it. Probably because he witnessed his mother do the same up close (or as close as he can get from an emotionally and sometimes physically distant mother).

Which means there's probably a huge possibility that, in this timeline, he's more likely to be directly responsible for Papas 1-3s' deaths.

But I dunno, that's just my onion.

We don't know why Copia is as decent as he is, though. We can't say for sure if it's a nature vs nurture thing because as much as we can try and piece things together, we ultimately know nothing of his life growing up. We don't know if he'd been raised by or had a very kind adult in his life, or if he tried being mean and just frankly didn't like it. We don't know if anything from being raised as an orphan impacted his empathy or sympathy.

So obviously, this is all just what I puzzled together from traits of Sister's and how they might translate into motherhood as done by her, and what traits could therefore emerge in her child. How close to the mark I hit is subjective because that's fanon/speculation, baby.

(Though I think there's quite a few of you out there who would've probably loved to have seen Copia acting in this manner.)

Would Sister "raising" Copia have made for a more interesting storyline? Possibly. But as a person, Copia's probably better off this way. Which is depressing considering it's still left him spending most of his life not knowing who his parents were; likely developing a conviction that he's only as good as what he can succeed at; developing thanatophobia in connection to his need to be successful; and also having to recognize that his mother had his half-brothers killed off both to assure his ascendancy and to turn a profit.

Suffice it to say, no one is well. But at least he turned out cute, right?

TL;DR: Sister's focus on the Church and probable incompatibility with a particularly affectionate motherhood affects her relationship in the canon timeline. If she'd kept Copia, he might've turned out worse as a person -- and probably have left him to nannies anyway. This was probably the best possible outcome that could be made based on her poor communication and decision-making when it comes to things outside of her faith.

But that's just my opinion, I could very well be wrong lol

[michals]

(Ok this was supposed to be like, a couple of paragraphs but it turned into a freaking essay, so it’s under the cut haha)

On Klaus, Luther and addiction

So this is something I personally find to have a lot of great thematic potential for these two characters. The idea of Luther falling into the same trap that Klaus has for both similar and different reasons and Klaus dealing with Luther’s addictions while facing his own is such a great thru line for both of them. The show’s set them up with the building blocks for this plot point and it would be so easy for it to come into play this season, especially this season actually.

Luther’s build up to addiction is subtle but I think they’ve planted the seeds enough to make it into something. Him falling apart in The Day That Was and his first reaction is to turn to alcohol and drugs is pretty significant considering it’s obvious that he’s probably been very ‘straight edge’ his whole life, probably never having even drank before then. And he tells Klaus straight out that he wishes he was like him, that he didn’t care and that he could just ignore all his own feelings like he thinks Klaus does. (I’ll get into how the family deals with Klaus’s addiction in a minute.) He goes out and  does things under the influence he would never have done while sober, things that end up being self destructive (ie having sex that he seemed to really not want). But even then he’s gotten the idea that if he’s drinking/on something then he’s not thinking about all his shitty feelings.

Season two really sets it up because it’s not just one event but several. In the first ep at the bar he has a drink very casually, like he’s been doing it for years and not just because his life fell apart in the past how many months. The flask when he goes to Vanya’s is really telling firstly because he has a flask on him at all times at this point, that he uses it to get his courage up to go in the barn, and that he does it even when he’s driving. But it’s the nitrous scene that really cements it for me, again simply because he went from being basically a teetotaler to jumping at the first offer of heavy drugs. And he says he should’ve done this a long time ago. If I may get a little personal I know how easy it is to fall into this, the idea of ‘hey alcohol (or drugs) makes me feel better or at least I don’t think/care as much so why wouldn’t I do it?’. It’s such an easy slope to fall down and on the surface Luther has plenty of reasons to want to.

Now, Klaus: there’s plenty already been said about Klaus’s relationship with drugs and alcohol so I won’t get too wordy. Klaus is defined to us right away as a junkie and addict. Someone who uses substances to avoid dealing specifically with his powers and also his shitty upbringing. He plays very fast and loose with his own sobriety and even his mortality. Basically: he uses drugs to avoid thinking or feeling bad, or at least worse but he’s far, far past the point of entry into full blown dependence.

The scene between him and Luther in season 1 is a personal favorite just because it manages to deal with and establish a number of thematic ideas and the potential for how Luther and Klaus’s relationship can go from there. Luther, like the rest of the family, doesn’t understand Klaus’s addiction partially because they’ve all been estranged for 13 years and partially because Klaus doesn’t take it seriously and puts forth a very flippant persona, hell he doesn’t take anything that seriously. The world’s ending, they don’t have the time or inclination to humor Klaus’s story of chocolate pudding. Luther clearly misunderstands his addiction because yes, Klaus comes across as kind of happy and okay with himself but that’s because of the drugs. To Luther who’s been locked up with their asshole of a father Klaus seems to actually have a life of his own.

But Klaus doesn’t try too hard to walk that opinion back and here’s something I find important that tends to get left out when people point out that the family doesn’t take Klaus’s problems seriously: Klaus doesn’t talk about it or try and deal with it. Klaus really really doesn’t like dealing with things if he thinks he can avoid them. His powers, his childhood, Reginald, Ben, his cult – if he can run away from it or make a joke about it instead that’s what he’ll do. The one thing he ever really shows much initiative with is Dave. He’s self centered and I mean that in the most basic way – everything comes down to what he wants to do and he actually keeps his feelings close to the vest for the most part. Basically he doesn’t want to give the others an ‘in’ point to really address it (bonus they all heaps of problems of their own). And when he does get into it just the barest amount with Luther Luther’s high as fuck.

(Just to touch on Ben he kind of doesn’t count because firstly he can’t talk to anyone else and secondly he and Klaus have such a strained relationship especially regarding Klaus’s drug use that even if anyone else could hear him he probably wouldn’t be that supportive.)

So, actually getting into the whole season 3 thing: the siblings are about to face off with a whole lot of daddy and family issues in this time line and everyone’s got huge potential for emotional and mental shakedowns, but I think Luther’s gonna have the worst time of it. Don’t think I’m going to get into that BS of comparing traumas and saying anyone’s more ‘worthy’ of sympathy than any of the others, I’m saying specifically because it’s to do with Reginald not only rejecting him yet again and outright replacing him but that it’s not even ‘his’ Reginald so does that mean all the shit he put Luther through doesn’t count? I just see it as catalyst for a real breakdown for him.

Not to say this won’t mess with Klaus but Klaus hated Reginald long ago and has accepted that the guy was a douchebag and had no real love for his children, so personally I see his drug use as dealing with Reggie’s abuse but more so to deal with his powers. So yes, this’ll absolutely fuck with him but Luther’s the primo target here.

So what if we see Luther leaning even harder into drinking or even heavier things? Now he really has an excuse to because where’s he supposed to go from here? What’s he meant to do? He’s not the leader anymore, his family doesn’t always treat his trauma seriously (Klaus parallels there) nevermind he doesn’t even like to address it himself, he has no idea who he’s supposed to be and the one person who he thought actually cared about him not only doesn’t but never did and now he’ll never get back what he saw as his purpose in life. The whole Ben being alive thing is just icing on the cake. If he spirals in s3 it would make perfect sense because of all this and all the set up for it.

Klaus spiraled too at the end of s2 again becoming the fatalistic junkie he used to be, he’s gonna run from his problems again but it’s not just his powers this time. So he’s off the wagon but what if he notices Luther is too?

I can definitely see Luther trying to hide it from the others. He’s already given away too much of his weaknesses, he doesn’t want them to see their ‘leader’ continue to fall and I don’t think he’d want them to know he’s still that affected by Reginald. They want him to have dealt with it, like he seems to have at least a little in s2, if he’s completely fallen apart because of his dad again then that just makes him look pathetic. So he keeps his flask and finds excuses to get away with stumbling or slurring his words. But Klaus notices, because Klaus knows the signs.

In that scene in s1 Klaus very obviously doesn’t like seeing Luther like that or using drugs as an escape like he does. He’s self aware enough to know that this isn’t any way to live but is too pessimistic when it comes to himself. But, again, he tends to be pretty self centered. This is not a bad thing, this is a great character trait and it makes Klaus interesting. He does not know how to relate to his siblings on the whole, doesn’t know how to talk about his own traumas and addictions, so when he does hear them out it’s usually because he had was focusing on his own shit first. For instance: when he has the heart to heart with Allison in her kitchen he’s only there in the first place because he was falling apart because of Dave.

Luther having a problem will have to be something Klaus purposefully chooses to deal with because he’s worried about one of this siblings. And for obvious reasons Klaus is the perfect one to help him with it. He doesn’t want to see Luther like that but he doesn’t really have a leg to stand on if he wants him to stop. Hell, if Klaus won’t stop why should Luther? Klaus can’t use ‘do what I say not as I do’, partially because Luther has proven to have some self destructive/self harming tendencies and again, if it makes him feel okay or at least steady then why would he stop?

But Klaus stopping means that he’s going to have to confront his quite literal demons when it comes to his powers (I could go off on how much I don’t love that he was somehow sober for 3 years in the 60’s no problem but it didn’t seem to affect his powers at all but that’s another post). The number one thing he’s been running from his whole life, something the show hasn’t actually done a whole lot with. We knows he hates it, we knows he’s tortured by it, but we’ve seen no evidence that he’s ever really confronted it. He was traumatized by Reggie who did everything wrong so he went the opposite route.

But what if he has to stay sober for Luther’s sake? Even if he doesn’t want to help, even if he just enables it or joins him at first eventually he’d have to come the realization that he doesn’t like this, that he wouldn’t wish this kind of problem on someone he cares about. So he’s going to have to turn inward, he’s going to have to face up to both his addiction and his powers, maybe even finally try to tame and use his powers. And at some point he’d have to talk to Luther about it and stop hiding behind his glib façade.

So in the end we’d get to see Luther falling apart trying to deal with everything that he still very much needs to deal with and his subconscious tendency for self destruction, Klaus confronting his addictions, his own feelings and relationship to his siblings, and his powers and hell, maybe then we’ll actually get him using his powers to his/the group’s benefit.

[justsomeoneunordinary]

you said i could ask for ironhawk fic recs so here i am asking for ironhawk fic recs pleeeeeeeeease?

Hi! Yes! Yes, yes, yes and all the yes in the world. You came to the right place, cause I’ve got all the IronHawk one could wish for! This is one of my absolute favorite ships, which is why this list is also a bit on the longer side. And there are still some in my MfL list yet to be read, otherwise this would be even longer.

(On a funny side-note; I almost rec’d your own AU-gust ficlets at you and it wasn’t until I typed out your name that I realized it lol)

Visiting Hours are Nine to Forever by Tahlruil

Look, Clint didn't mean to hit the guy, it just sort of happened. He was distracted, and the guy was distracted, and then things were a little bit out of his control. And even if it wasn't completely his fault, he still feels pretty bad about it. He had to go see the guy, didn't he? It was only polite, so yeah. He'd do that.

And look, he doesn't mean to start fake dating his accident victim either, but sometimes life is weird that way. You just gotta go with the flow when it happens, and learn to be the best fake boyfriend ever.

This is not only my favorite IronHawk fic, but also one of my favorite fics in general. I’m not one for overly fluffy stuff, but this fic is an exception. I absolutely adore Clint here and re-read this story so many times already I could probably recite it from memory. Sometimes I don’t have the time to read the whole fic, so I just jump to the beginning of chapter 2 cause it’s literally my favorite scene written ever. Honestly, you just need a feel-good? This fic is it.

I wonder how the world sees us by donutsandcoffee

This is how everyone else will see it:

Clint and Tony don’t so much happen as other people don’t happen.

(Or, Clint and Tony, as friends, as best friends, as warriors, as lovers-- and, most importantly, as themselves, even in the eyes of others.)

Clint and Tony’s relationship, written entirely in everyone else’s POV - and in such an incredibly beautiful way at that. Bruce’s POV always makes me very emotional. 

Learn from the Wreck (Series) by thepartyresponsible

The circus has a way of evening people out. Everyone looks the same when the lights center on the stage. The whole audience, just blank shadows, staring in. Everyone looks like nothing.

Someone like this, though. Someone like him. They’ll throw off that nothing before they get back to whatever pampered bed they crawled out of. Everyone else stays nothing, but, for people like that, it’s just a temporary state.

Clint doesn’t mean to watch him. It’s just that he keeps catching Clint’s eye.

A+++ characterization and amazing mix of heart-wrenching yet so beautiful. Phenomenal fics!

Things Clint Barton Has (Series) by Tahlruil

Clint has always been a people watcher - he likes things better from a distance, after all. Hanging out in the Student Center with Nat supplies him with a primo lookout and fodder for stories. He's learned a lot about college students since they started hanging there - he can spot a freshman or a grad student from a mile away.

One in particular has really caught his eye lately. Not because he's attractive - though he is - but because he's both adorable and clearly a Grad Student Zombie. It really gets his protective, mother hen instincts up. Clearly something must be done.

Absolutely adorable. I really love how this author writes Clint a whole lot.

Take A Shot by ChibiSquirt

When SHIELD decided they were going to send an agent to assess Tony Stark, a.k.a. Iron Man, the Black Widow was their first choice to do the assessment.

Unfortunately (or maybe not so unfortunately), they would have to go with their second choice, instead.

IM2 but Clint is sent to spy on Tony instead of Natasha. And since this is Clint, the story takes quite a different turn. My favorite part is the moment Clint realizes Tony is dying, because of how he realizes it.

A Different Kind of Knight by jenny_wren

Clint's soulmate's first words to him will be 'Oh shit. You gotta help me hide the body.' Clint's not sure why everybody thinks this is a bad thing.

Soulmate AU with a first meeting you probably haven’t read like that before. :)

360 by donutsandcoffee

Clint and Tony's relationship from all perspectives. A collection of ficlets. 

Lovely characterization of Clint!

Twelve months by everythingispoetry

Twelve months in twelve pieces: how Clint and Tony, slowly but steadily, become Clint and Tony.

I have no other words for this but: soft.

No Heart For Me Like Yours by FannyT

Everyone is born with a number visible on a random body part, a number that only exists twice—on yourself and on your soul mate.

Tony, famous from birth, was brought up to always hide his number from everyone around him in order to protect both himself and his soul mate from kidnapping and extortion. Clint, meanwhile, had his number obliterated by an accident when he was young and now only has only his own memory to rely on, having no records of his number from before.

Then, one day, Clint accidentally sees Tony's number.

This was the very first IronHawk fic I read and therefore partly the reason why I fell in love with this ship so hard.

The Man With the Golden Gauntlet by squadrickchestopher

“Okay.” Clint sighs. “So, am I jumping out of a window again?”

“Nope.” There’s a smile in her voice. “As per your request, you get to seduce the rich guy.”

Clint blinks. “What?”

“Tony Stark. He’s got a type. You’re it.”

I literally just read this one yesterday. Absolutely hilarious and well done characterization.

Aww electricity, no by Bill_Longbow

When Clint gets trapped in an elevator it might not be such a bad thing with this gorgeous stranger. 

Cute and funny!

first one's free by shatteredhourglass

Clint Barton has a crush on Iron Man. Clint Barton is also sleeping with Tony Stark on the regular. All in all, it's a mess. 

Identity Porn! So much Identity Porn!

Killer Date by Jaune_Chat

Clint and Tony's fifth date starts with death threats and payouts and only goes uphill from there. 

Some nice smut. ;)

Bright Eyes by NotEvenCloseToStraight

After being hurt in a fight, Tony ends up temporarily blind and tries to hide it from the team so they don't worry.

Clint is the only one to notice, and an honest conversation between the two about exactly how much Tony matters to the team leads to unexpected kisses.

Very soft and beautiful.

Sorry for the Repetition by harcourt

When Tony fails to save Clint from a mission gone bad, there's only one thing to do. Reset the clock and try again.

So he builds a machine that allows him to go back in time in an attempt to change fate...but he fails again and again and suddenly he's not confident anymore. He's terrified that he'll never be able to save his lover.

Read the tags first. Heart-wrenching angsty and so well done!

devil on your shoulder by desitonystark

As an Angel, Tony's job is to investigate potential humans, assess whether they're fit to enter Heaven. The worst (read: best) part of that job, is what when Hell got word of their investigations, they started sending Clint to accompany him.

Some lovely bickering!

And bonus, since I’m not above some shameless self-promotion:

Le cirque des mirages by me

Tony Stark falls in love only three times in his whole life: once it’s with an institution and the other two times with a person. Both times it’s the same person. 

I’m quite proud of this one. That’s it, hope you’ll like some of them, cause I love them all a lot! Enjoy reading :)

[emeritus-fuckers]

As someone who is a Drag Queen, I’d love to know every reaction from the Papas when they find out when their s/o is a drag performer! I’d know they’d make it rain on me~

With special dedication to the assholes in the American government ♡♡ - Jez

Papas with a drag performer s/o

Primo

He kinda knows what it is, but didn't know the name.

He's neither for it or against it, seeing as he doesn't know much about it.

Primo is very open to learning about different things, so if you explain it to him, he'd like to go to one of your performances to learn more.

It's probably too loud for him, though, so it's most likely the first and only time.

He still supports you, just... Let him avoid the loud part of it. He's too old for that.

Secondo

He's your sugar daddy already, so his first question might be how much you need for it.

Don't take this the wrong way, he wants to help!

He's actually very intrigued by it, might observe you getting into drag, but he wouldn't want to so it himself.

Already doing and then washing off the Papal facepaint is annoying.

Sits front row at every performance. Throws money at you as bonus allowance.

Doesn't call it that btw. I call it that because we all know he's a sugar daddy. Just look at him.

Terzo

You cannot convince me he doesn't refer to the full Papal robes + facepaint set as drag.

Big supporter!

You know this like stereotype that lesbians tip a lot? Terzo tips more. Way more.

Will totally encourage you!

Loves to see you in drag, but he will pout about how much time it takes to take off sometimes.

Your drag does not discourage him from physical contact.

This man will walk around, covered in glitter from all the affection he gives you.

Secondo makes fun of him for all the glitter.

Secondo making fun of Terzo has also turned into a running gag around here, huh?

Copia

He doesn't really mind. I don't mean that he's ignorant or anything, he's just... Okay with it.

No strong reactions, really. You have your hobbies, he has his, who is he to judge?

Might ask some questions if he actually saw you in drag.

Will go to your performances if you invite him. In his facepaint and shit, mostly for confidence.

He actually loves the atmosphere of drag performances! They just seem so nice and friendly!

He might come to your performances more often if he has time. It's not too often, but he does support your hobby, so he tries.

Old Nihil

Heard you wrong and thought you said "drug performer".

When he first sees you in drag, he'd blink a few times, confused as fuck.

"Well, it certainly does feel like I'm on drugs..."

It takes a bit of explaining to him that you said drag, not drug.

"But you're not dragging anything."

It's worse than a child. It takes ages for him to comprehend it.

And once he FINALLY does, he's all for it!

"Yes, go and do your thing, whatever you're dragging!"

He's a little confused, but he's got the spirit.

Young Nihil

This bitch probably even did some light drag once upon a time, but he completely forgot about it and had no idea that's what it's called.

Like his old self, probably misheard you or just misunderstood completely, but instead of being a big boy about it, he just waved it off.

"Yeah, okay, you do you, babe."

And then he sees you in drag and he's just bamboozled. He doesn't recognize you and you actually have to change back right in front of him or he won't believe you.

EVEN IF HE SEES YOU CHANGE, HE'S ALWAYS LIKE "How tf did you do that???", HE'S SO STUPID I LOVE HIM.

Once the initial shock passes, it's back to the "you do you, babe" attitude.

Throws money a bit too hard at you at performances, but hey, he tries.

Taglist: @firefirevampire @sirlsplayland @thatoddboy (send an ask if you'd like to be added! read the pinned post before asking!)

[howlingowl-wra]

A question for all of my favorite barristas and hosts at The Howling Owl... What is your dream date? Like what would someone need to do to capture your heart?

Skeltyr: "No."

Aubrey: "Okay, so it's like this; I got a very specific type and that's dudes who like food and animals and/or kids. So ideal date? Picnic someplace pretty like the Arboretum in Pandaria, right? I spend all morning making his favorite foods, then in the afternoon we get all cozy in the cherry blossoms. We banter and bicker as he tells the WORST dad jokes and by worst I mean best, obviously." They flick a bit of hair out of their eyes with a laugh. "Even better if he's just a little biiiiiiiiiit acerbic, you know? Cantankerous and grumpy. Love that. Dudes who are just enough of a jerkass that you can tell they're hiding how gooshy they are inside are absolutely primo IMO. Like 'em juuuust a bit of a push over, too. Like, yanno, totally independent and willing to stand their ground and all? But for the right person, they get totally whipped. Wrapped around my little finger. But like, still willing and able to be mean cuz I still like a little fight. And that's what ya do to make me fall head over heels."

Tanner stares. Loudly. At Aubrey. From a distance. The whole time. They're talking.

Aubrey: "What? I know I what I like."

Tanner, who likes food, animals, children, the arboretum, awful dad jokes, being a grumpass, and can kill a man by breathing hard but also routinely goes all mooshy inside when a certain panda smiles at him, looks at the camera. "Step one: Do not be Aubrey."

Aubrey: "WOW. I'd be hurt if I didn't know you don't mean it. I'm clearly your second favorite after Gramma."

Leo'mar: "I'm really not that exciting, I would just as happily sit and spend an evening talking about interests versus going off to do something fun. My heart was pretty thoroughly captured by a gorgeous redhead, I don't think the circumstances of it happen to be vital, seeing as she was in a tiny bikini and a lot of glitter when she first put her spell on me. That didn't hurt things though. Really all it takes is kindness and honesty, which might sound pretty easy but you'd be surprised."

Indy: "Well, if we're talking about what captured my heart for me, it was a picnic in Nagrand. Watching the sun set on a floating island. Also the fistfight brawl was pretty great. Before that, I didn't really have an idea of a dream date because I wasn't really thinking about dating. Which is a very boring answer, but hey."

Celeste: "Let's see," Celeste pondered aloud. "I've only been on one date in my life, really. So, I apologize in advance if my answer might seem a little...stereotypical?" A bashful chuckle left her lips, before she finally indulged the crowd. "My ideal date would be somewhere cozy and mildly active. Probably a chic cafe in a quiet harbour town, where the air is crisp and the waves never bring in anything but a temperate spring breeze. Both of us would be dressed in moderately fancy garb--a cerulean sundress for me, most likely--sipping on expensive coffee and chatting about nothing and everything. Maybe about our favourite novel? Hm.~"

Lianellie: Lian rubs the back of her neck, laughing softly as she answers this, "Well, I'm honestly kinda boring. My dream date is just something casual. Going to a cafe, having some coffee or maybe going to like the darkmoon faire. Just something where we could be close and talk and just spend a bit of time together. And as for who turns my head, I've always had a fondness for creative types. Like whether it's musicians or painters and such, I've always been more attracted to them."

Don't you just love the disfunction, @trixcuomo?

[theasstour]

𝓢𝓵𝓮𝓮𝓹𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓥𝓮𝓷𝓾𝓼 𝓫𝔂 𝓖𝓲𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓮

𝓯𝓲𝓬 𝓹𝓪𝓰𝓮 | 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 11.7k 𝓝𝓑: 𝓮𝔁𝓹𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓲𝓽 𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓾𝓪𝓰𝓮

A/N: biggest thanks to @shepherald for being bb’s italian auntie! ilysm!

Friday, 19 July 2019

It had become a tradition for Y/N to walk to the bakery every single morning. The same one, walking the same way, and getting the same thing. She’d get her croissant, say hi to Marco behind the counter, and try to order in Italian, though she never got it right. However, she loved trying each time. This morning was no different from all the rest. Y/N was humming a song under her breath, smiling at someone she recognised as her neighbours downstairs, and they smiled right back. She walked into the bakery, seeing the old man behind the counter again. He gave her a grin, wiping the sweat off his forehead with a handkerchief.

“Buongiorno, Marco.”

“Buongiorno, Y/N.” He put the handkerchief in his pocket, leaning his hands against the surface before him. “What would you like today?”

“Hmm,” she mused, pretending to be thinking it over as she made her way toward him. “Think I’ll just have my croissant, please.”

Marco got to work, picking up a paper bag and getting her a croissant. “You need to try some Italian food one day.”

Y/N sighed, nodding her head ever so slightly. He was very right. She had been to a few restaurants, but she hadn’t eaten anything but pizza. Though Italy was known for pizza and pasta, she knew there was tons of other foods to try as well. She just hadn’t gotten to it yet. And she needed to. What was the point of being in Italy and not doing anything about it? She needed to broaden her horizons.

“What do you suggest?” She asked, watching as he placed the bag carefully on the counter between them.

“Schiacciata first.”

She furrowed her brows. “What’s that?”

“A type of Tuscan bread. You sprinkle olive oil and salt on top and mix the dough with herbs. It is fantastic.” Marco’s eyes sparkled a bit, talking about baked goods really made him show a brighter sort of happiness.

“Like focaccia?”

His face fell. “You don’t compare food.”

Y/N blinked, nodding her head twice. “Would you serve me that then? Or would I have to go to someone else?”

“I’ll make you.” Marco smiled, all forgotten about Y/N’s comment only seconds earlier. He handed her the croissant as she gave him the euros for it.

“You’re too kind.”

“I don’t wanna lose a customer. I’ll make.”

Y/N laughed at that, shaking her head as she started turning around to leave. “I’ll see you around, Marco.” As she reached the door however, Marco’s voice sounded from behind her again.

“My son is getting married next month.”

She glanced over her shoulder, a bit taken aback by the sudden comment. “How wonderful. In Fosdinovo?”

“Yes, it’s the biggest event in town. Everyone is coming.” He seemed so happy talking about this wedding that his otherwise big eyes looked small behind his tall cheekbones. “He and Carina would like you to come, too.”

This more than anything made Y/N halt a little more. “I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure of meeting your son, Mar-“

“-I’m going to be making the cake. You need to come for the cake, Y/N.”

She couldn’t help her laughter. His eagerness for her to come was adorable, and she knew he wanted her to taste his cake so she could give him her opinion – even though she knew next to nothing about food - the gesture in itself was very sweet. If not for anyone else, she would attend the wedding for Marco. On the other hand, it wasn’t everyday you got to go to an Italian wedding. Y/N knew it would probably take her breath away, something she was very ready for already. Her eyes fell to the baker again, and she felt herself sigh heavily.

“Invite Mr Styles, too. He needs to come out of his house.” Marco started busying himself with something behind the counter.

Y/N frowned. “You want Harry to come?”

“Yes,” Marco said, rearranging some baked goods. “Once Mr Styles eats my cake he will be singing around the streets of Fosdinovo till he collapses.”

She laughed again, feeling her stomach grumble as the smell of something sweet and delicious wafted towards her again. “Oh, he won’t be able to resist.”

“Fantastico,” he clapped his hands together, taking the time to stop and look at her for a few seconds. “I will give you an invitation soon.”

Y/N’s hand rested against her stomach, feeling it rumble with another plea for food. “Thank you so much, Marco.”

“Addio.” He waved her off, and she waved back before walking outside into the scorching Italian summer afternoon, ready to walk around the small village once again. She got the croissant out, holding it with the paper bag, and took a bite, savouring it slowly as she just looked around her. The old buildings around her and the feeling of Southern European sun rays on her skin, Y/N knew she was taking it for granted. At the end of next month, she wouldn’t be here anymore. She would be on her way back home to dreary Britain, leaving the cheapest and most relaxed summer vacation she’d ever had.

She got her phone out, snapping a few pictures of the village so she could send them to her mother and Portia. Though her updates of living in Italy had gotten less frequent, she still remembered to send a few pictures every now and again, knowing how much Elaine appreciated it and that Portia was basically living through her right now.

Walking past Ottone Primo, where Gioele’s brother Leonardo worked, Y/N remembered. She saw him taking a fag outside with some of the other employees, giving him a little wave and he gave one back, saying something to her that she didn’t know how to translate. She gave him a smile, he smiled back, and she went on her way. Further on she walked onto the city square, someone playing an accordion somewhere and the smell of something amazing from one of the nearby restaurants. She realised as she stopped, looking at the square she had seen a couple of times in her time living here now, she was really starting to feel at home in this rural Italian village. It was the strangest thing.

Tuesday, 23 July 2019

Wearing the baby blue dress, her grey cardigan wrapped around her waist, her usual light layer of make-up, along with red lipstick, Y/N strolled down towards Harry's house with her croissant in hand. As usual, it was almost too hot out to function properly, and it was even worse now. It seemed that with every painting session, Harry wanted to start a bit later in the day. Y/N tried to understand, try to think of a reason why or what this collection he was painting even was. He hadn't told her anything about it and somehow she doubted he ever would. It wasn't that she needed to know, she didn't want to intrude – no matter the fact that she was the nosiest person alive. She didn't want to cross that line between something professional and personal, a line Harry obviously didn't want to blur. She'd gotten a taste of that already.

Taking a bite of her croissant, she walked up the steep stairs to Harry's house, giving the door three hard knocks. She didn't think he would open right away, as it always seemed to be a problem of his. It was like he was constantly choosing to get to the door late to piss her off. Chewing big to digest the bite best as possible, she jumped a little when the door flew open.

Harry stood there, and as usual, there was a certain kind of... nakedness to him. Now he was wearing a pair of blue dungarees, some yellow paint splotches on his right thigh, and one of the straps undone. Did he always have to walk around almost naked? Wasn't he scared of what his neighbours would see through the windows?

Something in his eyes changed as he saw her today, though. They fell straight to her covered up calves. She looked at him, stopping mid-chew. For a few seconds, she was unable to move. Their eyes met again.

"You're wearing knee socks."

She was. She found them hidden away in her suitcase and thought they would be cute with the blue dress, so she put them on. A defined white line at the very top, slightly transparent all the way down to her white Dr Martens, where the sight of them stopped. If it was a huge problem, she would take them off. It wasn't like she was going to keep them on if it would ruin his painting or whatever. All she wanted was to look somewhat cute. Even though the heat was killing her and she was regretting putting Dr Martens on.

"And?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at him.

Neither wanted to be the first one to look away. So, just staring at one another, they silently challenged the other to give in. Looking at Harry like this however, Y/N noticed the slight trace of gentle freckles over his nose, something she'd never paid attention to before. If you didn't look thoroughly, if you weren't staring at him like this, you probably would have missed it. But just then it was like they were all she saw.

Harry broke eye contact first.

"Seventh rule, don't arrive early."

She remembered the rules he had listed off to her days previous and felt herself roll her eyes involuntarily. "I'm right on time, twat. But," she held a finger up, taking another step down the stairs and away from him. "Don't worry, I'll wait outside till you've had your wank or whatever you're so pressed about me interrupting."

She turned her back on him, sitting down on one of the stairs, glancing out over the landscape that stretched out as far as the eye could see.

"I wasn't wanking."

"It's okay if you were."

"I wasn't bloody wanking."

"Fine."

Y/N ignored him as he closed the door again, obviously going back inside to get himself properly ready. She bit into her croissant again, taking her time and enjoying her delicious breakfast. Italian baked goods hit different when you sat outside in the heat, sunblock smeared on your exposed skin, and a slight layer of sweat gracing your forehead. She closed her eyes, enjoying the moment to the fullest. Until the door behind her opened again, Harry carrying all his stuff out. The sound of him closing his door a little too hard was harsh, carrying his stuff by her on his way down the stairs. He put his easel and canvas down, keeping the rucksack on his back as he stared down the road, clearly looking for Gioele who hadn't shown up yet. It wasn't like the driver to ever be late. Y/N looked in the same direction as Harry, though the sound of an engine roaring wasn't heard.

Instead, she glanced over at the painter, taking another bite of her breakfast. Both the straps of his dungaree were done now, the bare skin that had been underneath them was covered up with a tight white tank top. She realised it hugged him just right, showing off his defined muscles so nicely it took her three tries to swallow her bite. Stop that! she shouted at herself inside her head, he's a fucking knobhead! Don't look at him! But she could not help but to notice his pink Converse. The whole outfit seemed almost innocent, so unlike him in a way she couldn't quite put her finger on. On the other hand, this was exactly the kind of thing the painter could show up in, so she didn't know why she was taking her time checking him out today.

Just as he turned his head, glancing directly at her, she looked away.

"I wasn't having a wank."

"You know," she swallowed her bite. "The more you keep denying it the more I believe you did."

He sighed, looking down at the brown leather watch on his wrist.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I wasn't having a wank!"

Y/N shrugged her shoulders, looking away from him as she took another bite of her breakfast, trying not to snicker into her croissant. Nagging at him like this, pushing every button till he reacted like that, she found it very amusing for some reason. It wasn't nice, not in the slightest, but if they were going to be waiting outside like this, she might as well entertain herself. Swallowing the last of her breakfast, she glanced down the road, looking for a sign of Gioele. However, the red Volvo was nowhere in sight. Harry sighed again, crossing his muscular arms over his chest.

"He might just have overslept." Y/N reasoned, picking at some food she'd stuck between her teeth.

Harry's eyes didn't waver from the street which Gioele should be driving up, like if he looked hard enough, the Italian would show up.

She continued to watch him. "Worst case scenario, we have to drive ourselves."

"You have a licence?"

"You don't?"

Harry looked at her and said, "No."

For some reason, that stopped Y/N from answering. She didn't know why it had taken her off guard or what she had expected when she asked that question, but it had certainly not been that.

"What?" He said, turning his body some in her direction. "Is it bad that I don't have my licence?"

"No, not that," Y/N shook her head slightly. "Guess I just... assumed you did."

"Why?"

"'Cause you normally think everyone above 18's got their licence, don't you?"

"Well," Harry looked at his wristwatch again before glancing down the road. "I don't."

She huffed. "Fine."

Reaching for her little purse, she opened it and got some hand sanitiser out, smearing some on her hands. She closed her eyes, trying to enjoy the warmth of the sun.

"It's not like I don't have a licence."

She opened her eyes again, blinking once. "You just said you didn't have one."

"I can drive a moped."

"Then you have a licence."

"Not the licence."

She sighed, raising her eyebrows. "What's the licence?"

"Car one, innit?"

Turning her attention back to her purse, she closed it. "You can drive something, so I'd say you've got a licence."

Before Harry could retort any sort of answer, his phone buzzed. Quickly, he reached into the pocket of his dungaree, reading the text he had just received. By the way his face fell - slightly parted lips setting into a tight line and brows furrowing slightly – Y/N could tell he hadn't received good news. With a click, he turned his phone on before hastily typing out a reply.

"What?" She asked, wanting to know what was having him in such a mood.

"Gioele is gonna be here in 30. I don't have the time for that." Harry answered, turning his phone off and putting it back in his pocket.

"Then what are we going to do?"

Though Y/N knew by this point that it was rarely like Harry to give a short response when he had been struck by an idea. Taking a grip of his equipment, Harry ran back into his house, sprinting up the stairs two at a time. He flew by Y/N at such a speed that she felt her hair fly everywhere. Plucking some off her lips, she turned around, watching as Harry came out again, now with a pair of keys in one hand and a bigger bag in the other. She felt herself lean against the railing as Harry came jogging down again after closing the door.

"Put this on." He demanded, laying the bag on the cobblestoned road before he ran off again.

Y/N followed him with her gaze, seeing him disappear down a tiny alleyway beside his house. Completely dumbfounded and not entirely sure what the right thing to do was, she got up from where she was seated on the stairs and walked down to the bag, hoisting it onto her back. It wasn't heavy, but she could feel the canvas along with a smaller bag with everything else he might need. As Y/N heard the familiar sound of water moving around in a bottle, she felt herself sigh. She had been stupid enough to leave her water bottle at the flat. Before she could mourn any longer, she heard something that sounded like tyres against cobblestones. And when she glanced over her shoulder, sure enough, there was Harry with a very yellow moped. The Magnolia Vespa shone so brightly in the sunlight that it almost made Y/N squint a little looking at it. Despite it being shiny, she could tell it was old. It was clear, she thought, that Harry rarely got around unless he made Gioele drive him.

He slid up next to her, handing her the black helmet that came with the moped, and then positioned himself on it. Y/N just stared at him for a few seconds, not really sure what she was making of the situation. Harry used a few tries getting the ignition to finally roar to life, and when that was done, he looked at Y/N who hadn't moved since he'd given her the helmet.

"We're going to be driving that?"

"Yes, now get the fuck on."

She rolled her eyes, taking a minute to get the helmet on properly. Carefully, she threw one of her legs over the moped, trying to position herself comfortably as she knew they had quite the journey ahead of them.

"You need to hold on."

"Was thinking I'd just not."

"Don't take the piss. If you fall off you're gonna get hurt."

This made her look up at him. She could see his slightly tilted head, glancing at her in the corner of his eye, but quickly looking at his house instead when he saw her looking back. She didn't know why the comment had made her halt, but it had. There was something about it that made her cock her head a little, as if Harry hadn't meant for it to come out like that. Hadn't meant for it to come out like... what, exactly? she asked herself, not knowing what she thought she'd heard in his voice for a split second. Worry?

He looked ahead, taking a firmer grip of the handles. "If you want to fall off, don't hold on."

She rolled her eyes, but it was when she leaned forward to get a grip that it dawned on her that what he was referring her holding onto was himself. Hesitating for a second or two, Y/N grimaced a little, feeling weird about touching the painter as she'd never done that before. Did he think it was weird as well? Or was she just overthinking everything? Why was she overthinking this? She usually never overthought anything.

Slowly she leaned forward, her front flush against his back, feeling the very defined muscles there that was hard against her softness. She wrapped her arms around his waist, knowing that with her terrible balance, she'd never be able to hold on unless she held on tightly. A light sort of spicy smell took over everything, she felt one of his curls against her nose. Yeah, she thought to herself, definitely weird being this close to him.

Harry cleared his throat, clearly thinking the same. "Good."

Turning the handle of the moped, the two of them shot forward, and Y/N yelped a little as she felt her body jerk with the motion. She clung tighter to Harry, feeling herself sink further into him. His hair tickling her nose, strong muscles against her arms, tiny waist between her legs. It was hard not to notice absolutely everything about Harry when she was this close to him. She saw the faint freckles on his shoulders, and how they lead all the way down to his knuckles, tender dots of a slightly tanner colour than the one gracing his skin currently. He seemed soft, like he took care of himself. Something Y/N knew most didn't bother doing, but it felt and looked like Harry put in the effort, though, judging by his personality, he didn't seem like the person who bothered.

Harry just... didn't seem to care. It didn't seem to be something he prioritised. Caring for himself and the people around him. But... his skin was so soft...

She bet he didn't even notice how close they were sitting. How her knees, clad in the white of the tall socks, were pressed against his thighs since she was afraid to scrape them against the stone wall of one of the buildings they were driving by. Bet he didn't notice her moving closer to him as she was a little scared they'd fall off. Bet he couldn't smell her like she could smell him.

The loud roar of a trailer driving by them woke her from her reverie. Instead of thinking about bloody Harry, she kept her eyes focused ahead and tried her best not to think about him.

The drive wasn't long, maybe around 15 minutes tops. They drove along the countryside for a while, like they had done some days earlier when they went to the opening in the woods. The vineyards stretched out on either side of them, the occasional house the colour of the gravel around it. Though the sun was beating down on them like it usually did, Y/N barely felt it. The wind kept her cool. She hadn't felt this comfortable outside in the Italian summer heat... ever. Y/N suddenly started smelling the saltiness of the ocean hanging in the air around them. At first she was a bit taken aback, as the thought of them driving towards the ocean hadn't entered her mind once. But suddenly the blue ocean stretched out before them; majestic and endless and glittering in the sunlight. She let out a small huff, the sight too magnificent not to evoke an immediate grin. Harry moved his head a little as her breath met his jaw. She repositioned herself, trying not to trigger him in any way.

A sign showing they were entering Lerici stood on the side of the road, and suddenly they were driving through another town. This one was a little bigger than Fosdinovo, Y/N enjoyed seeing a bigger horde of people around than the few living in the little mountain village. It was nice, this tiny change. She enjoyed just watching as the town zoomed by, taking in the stone buildings, the locals wearing their swimwear, and kids feeding a cat some gelato. It was an endearing sight of Italian culture she knew she'd never get, had she travelled here with the intent to be a proper tourist.

They suddenly started driving up a hill again, and though the moped struggled carrying them both, it managed in the end. The trees weren't as thickly laid, allowing for a stunning view of the ocean beyond them. And it was here Harry finally stopped the moped. He sat put, glancing over his shoulder ever so slightly, waiting for her to get off first before he did. Removing her hands from around him, she carefully placed them on each of his shoulders before getting off the moped. She took the helmet off before finally stretching her knees, arms and back. It felt good to have a straight back again instead of sitting hunched behind a mountain of muscles, holding onto his waist for dear life.

Harry got off as well, looking out over the view as she placed the helmet on the moped for their trip back. She whistled a little under her breath, not able to stop smiling. This was really not a sight one got to see a lot, and she intended to savour every single little moment of it.

"The bag." Harry said, making her blink as she was once again brought out of her own train of thought.

She sighed, handing him the bag she had on her back the entire way there, and watched as Harry walked closer to the edge of the cliff they had stopped at. Following him, she treaded carefully. Though she had never really been scared of heights, the thought of falling into the ocean from high altitude terrified her. Taking small steps, she got closer and closer to the edge, wanting to get a better look of the ocean. She felt tiny butterflies swarm her entire body once he finally did. It was so beautiful.

"Do you see those three stones?" Harry asked, having sat down on a bigger rock a normal distance away. "The blue ribbon under them?"

"Yeah."

"Sit beside those."

"Which side?"

Harry just pointed while rummaging through the bag for everything he needed. Assuming he meant the side closest to him, she sat down, unsure how he wanted her to be positioned. It took awhile for him to get the canvas out, running a hand over it to make sure it was as smooth as he needed it to be, bushing some lint off, before perching it on his knee while getting all his paint ready. He glanced up at her.

He studied her for a second. "Want your side profile-"

"-Yikes."

"Can your feet point that way," he gestured to his left. "And your back that way?"

She did as he said, making sure she had some of the dress under her bum still. She didn't want to be sitting in the grass and have any kind of insect crawl up her bare thigh. It wasn't that she hated insects, she didn't mind them in fact, it was just that she liked having control of what touched her and chose to take a hike along her body.

"Look at me." Harry said, voice almost a little hushed. She looked at him. "Now at the blue ribbon on the tree behind me."

How many blue ribbons did he have? Did he leave them hanging around like this for long? Had someone ever encountered them and wondered what the fuck they were there for? Y/N tried not to chuckle, the sight of someone finding the blue ribbons and looking confused amusing her. In the quietness of the new few moments, the only sound accompanying them was the waves hitting the shore and cliff. She closed her eyes for a few seconds, surprisingly enough feeling very tired. It wasn't that late in the day and she didn't usually nap till at least 7pm. Giving herself a little shake, she urged herself to not yawn or else she would be fucked.

Instead, her eyes fell on the painter who seemed to be done mixing a few colours. His gaze slowly moved to her, caressing her from her Martens, up her knee socks, bare thighs, the way the dress rested against her body, and finally, he reached her eyes. He held them for a few, as if memorising the colour, before glancing down at the palette in his hand. Slowly, silence settled over them. They never had any awkward silences, just ones that didn't need to be filled. It was like neither of them felt the need to really talk, like they had mutually agreed on it at some point that it was fine for them not to share a single word over a longer period of time. It had never been awkward, Y/N realised, which was good. Despite everything, they had this.

"The view is beautiful." Y/N said after a little while.

"You're facing me." Harry reported under his breath, and Y/N huffed.

"Wouldn't it be more authentic if I looked out over the ocean instead?"

Harry didn't answer, just stroked his brush across the canvas resting on his knee, cocking his head a little to the side.

"Fine then." Y/N started moving as it she was going to turn around.

"Don't fucking-"

She started laughing, shaking her head as her eyes met his again. Getting back into the position he had initially wanted her to be sitting in, she gave him a slight raise of her eyebrows, still smiling, before looking at the blue ribbon on the branch behind him.

"You did that on purpose." He said.

"Did what on purpose?"

"You knew I'd be annoyed with you if you moved."

Y/N let out a single chuckle. "You're never annoyed about anything."

Harry only raised his eyebrows as he kept painting, making Y/N laugh even more. She didn't know why, but the fact that Harry himself knew he was easily annoyed and didn't say anything to defend himself on the matter when he so clearly cared what everyone thought of him, it made her laugh. At least on that front, they agreed. Closing her eyes, she let her head fall back between her shoulder blades before she glanced up again. Harry was looking at her, but as soon as their eyes met, he stared back down at the canvas.

Y/N wetted her lips. "Have you seen When Harry Met Sally?"

"Long time ago."

"Well," Y/N started, looking up at a few clouds flying by. "The main characters spark off one another until they finally realise they could actually be very good friends."

Harry didn't respond, tilting his head as he stopped painting, taking a look at what he'd done so far.

"I love films." Y/N went on. "Dirty Dancing, Flashdance, Top Gun, Cocktail, The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Footloose-"

"-Are you just naming all the 80s films ever?"

Y/N looked at him, narrowing her eyes a little. "So what if I did? They're all amazing, my favourite kinds of films."

"Not really into movies." He admitted, dipping his brush in more paint before glancing up to study her some more.

"Dirty Dancing will change your mind."

Harry started painting again.

Y/N smiled, clearly having entered a subject he didn't know much about. "What're you into then?"

"Art."

She rolled her eyes. "Well, I know that already. You've got to have other things that entertain you. What do you do when you're not painting?"

She could tell he was giving this thought by the way he poked his tongue out ever so slightly, as if racking his brain for something to say. It wasn't easy to come up with something like this on the spot, she knew, so she didn't blame him for taking his time figuring his thoughts out. In the meantime, she watched him paint, the way his arm moved, how his biceps flexed sometimes, the elegance of his wrists. She quickly blinked a few times, catching herself in what she was doing. She looked away.

"I like documentaries."

"There you go!"

"Especially those that tell you how fucked the world is."

Y/N nodded. "They're amazing."

He glanced up at her, studying her jawline for a few seconds.

"What kind of fucked up documentaries then?" She asked, looking down at him.

Harry started painting again. "Climate change mostly, but I love the crazy serial killer ones as well."

"Oh!" Y/N grinned all of a sudden. "Have you watched Death on the Staircase? It's on Netflix."

"The one where the wife fell down the stairs and they blamed it on the husband's mental health 'cause he was bisexual?"

"Yes!"

"That one was brill."

Y/N bit her lips together as she watched him. "If it's an interesting topic, consider me intrigued. I'll watch anything."

Harry didn't respond again, but Y/N had gone long past caring about Harry responding. She talked either way.

"What else do you like?" She asked.

Harry cocked his head, taking in his painting. "Weird sports in the Olympics."

She couldn't help her outburst of laughter. "Like...?"

"Have you never just turned on the telly to watch the Olympics and some weird spots on? Winter sports you have curling for example, and summer you have modern pentathlon."

She giggled, closing her eyes. "Don't even know what those are."

Harry shook his head. "Few do."

"Do you play any sports then?"

Quiet. But not the same kind that rested between them normally. She opened her eyes, Harry was already looking at her.

"You're going to take the piss." He said.

Y/N furrowed her brows, pursing her lips. "I promise I won't."

Harry just looked at her.

"I promise! Swear!"

He still said nothing, only inhaled sharply.

"Fine, be a bellend."

"I do gymnastics." Harry said along with a sigh, sounding defeated.

Y/N raised her eyebrows, blinking as she tried to digest what he'd just said. They held eye contact for some reason, letting the quiet stretch on. She suddenly noticed how green his eyes looked with nature surrounding him like this.

He started painting again, clicking his tongue. "Knew you'd think I was weird."

She furrowed her brows. "I don't!"

He cocked his head "Then why are you all quiet? You're never quiet."

"Because I was processing!"

He huffed. "'Cause you were taken off guard and you don't see me as someone doing gymnastics."

"That's not it, twat!"

Then the strangest thing happened. The right side of Harry's lips turned upward, revealing the hint of a deep dimple. As he ran his brush along the canvas, painting her as detailed as he could, he sat there smiling to himself. Y/N had never seen him smile. Never seen him happy, she realised. And the ghost of a grin that had taken up temporary residency on his face took her off guard. She just stared at him, feeling her own lips twitch into a smile. Her back straightened up a little and she almost found herself leaning forward to get a better look. The little smile made him so beautiful. No, no, no, she bit the inside of her cheek, don't go there. Don't you fucking go there. For some reason, his grin didn't waver. It stayed on his lips as he dipped his brush in more paint, cocking his head to the side as his eyes followed the brush's trail on the canvas. If he kept on being bloody adorable, she would stare at him in awe for an hour, so she cleared her throat.

"Is that a smile I see?" She teased. "You got a rise out of me, and now you're pleased with yourself?"

He bit his bottom lip, shaking his head without looking away from the painting before him.

"Right then." Y/N said, eager to get the conversation going again. "What're you best at? There's a lot of stuff you can do with gymnastics, innit?"

Harry wasted no time. "Swing bar."

Y/N's eyebrows immediately shot upward. Trying to the subtle, she let her eyes fall to his muscular arms, his broad shoulders and the curve of his slight biceps. The tan he'd gotten did wonders to the outline of his muscles. Stop, stop, stop-

"Explains the arms."

Oh. My. God. Immediately she felt her cheeks heat up. And her blushing got worse when Harry looked up at her. He huffed.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you've been checking me out."

She rolled her eyes. "I have not."

He bit his lips together, studying her legs for a few seconds, taking his time to get the shape of them right, before he started painting again. Y/N let out a long breath.

"You wish I checked you out. That's what it is."

He raised his eyebrows before mumbling, "You were the one who brought up my arms."

"Jesus bloody Christ." She averted her eyes from him, staring at the blue ribbon instead. She couldn't even look at him now, he'd pissed her off. For some reason, he knew all the right things to say to get a rise out of her and it was so annoying. So, instead of concentrating on him for another second, she focused her attention on something else. The silence really did settle between them this time. Harry busied himself with the painting and Y/N glanced at the ribbon, and when that got boring, she let her eyes wander the landscape around them. Listening to the ocean behind her, smelling the salt in the air, feeling the sun on her skin. Yes, she was most definitely very glad she'd put sunblock on today.

Slowly but surely, the lack of conversation and action, the quietness lulled Y/N into a light slumber. Her head fell to the side, resting slightly on her own shoulder as she closed her eyes, intending on just relaxing for a few minutes. Hopefully Harry wouldn't notice her drifting off. And if he did, all he had to do was wake her up again. So, thinking that she was in the clear, she focused in on the relaxing sound of the waves below and the slight breeze cooling her down. Her breathing got heavier and heavier, she felt herself slowly drift off.

For some reason, she blinked her eyes open ever so slightly, hearing Harry shift in his seat on the rock. She didn't really register what was going on; halfway conscious, halfway to dreamland. For some reason, one thing stuck out to her. Harry sat completely still. And when she lifted her eyelids slightly, she saw him looking at her. This wasn't the painter looking her, this was Harry. But before she could think more of it, her eyes fell shut and she was taken off into dreamy unconsciousness.

A small whimper.

She woke with a start. She didn't know how long she'd been sleeping for, didn't know what day it was, didn't know why she was there. But then she looked over at Harry who stared at her frowning, obviously asking her what she just jumped for. Quickly, Y/N looked around her, as it was clearly not Harry she'd heard in pain. He looked about as confused as she felt. She didn't know how she'd heard it or why it had woken her up from her nap, but it must've been a sound to disturb the peace around them. How Harry hadn't heard it, she didn't know, but she chose not to ask. She sat up a bit straighter, intent on finding whatever had made that sound.

"What's going on?" Harry asked, sounding defeated.

"I heard something." Y/N answered, craning her neck.

"What?"

"I don't bloody know, so shh." She held a finger to her lips, though her back was now to Harry so he couldn't see her. But he did as she said, surprisingly enough. When she told him to shut up, he did. Both listened intently, wanting to get to the bottom of whatever was going on. It was quiet for a few more seconds as they listened out for whatever, but Y/N knew Harry didn't have any patience at all, and though she didn't either, this was just one of the times when she did. She heard him moving about behind her, getting into position to finish the outline.

Another whimper.

Y/N stood from the ground now, looking around them. Now, Y/N noticed, Harry had completely stopped what he was doing, looking in the direction of some of the woods surrounding them. She glanced in the same direction. A cat. Not quite a small kitten, not quite a grown adult. The grey striped creature looked at the two of them, meowing ever so slightly, and Y/N instantly recognised the sound. And she instantly knew something was wrong when the cat started limping toward them.

Hunching down, Y/N reached her hand out for the cat, not making a single sound or sudden movements in fear of scaring it away. Slowly, the little thing got closer to Y/N, wary of the creatures before them they didn't recognise. As the cat neared her, Y/N immediately started thinking about what could be wrong with the front right leg. Maybe the little one had something stuck in their paw pad, or maybe a slight muscle strain. Or maybe it was lameness. Or if it was an ingrown claw or a broken bone, Y/N knew she couldn't possibly help the cat out here. She'd have to get them both to a vet where she'd be able to properly help.

"Hi, love," Y/N cooed. "You okay?"

The cat sniffed Y/N's hand, and while letting it stroke itself against her, letting it get comfortable with her, Y/N noticed how the little one refused to lay any sort of pressure on its foot. Something was definitely very wrong. Gently, Y/N started petting the cat she soon found out to be a her. Noticing her inability to walk fast and the obvious small calls of pain, Y/N made a mental list of the different things that could possibly be wrong. Carefully, Y/N tried to pick the cat up. However, the cat yelped, jumping away from Y/N who made small 'shh' sounds to calm her down.

"It's fine, baby, it's fine." Y/N mumbled, reaching her hand out so the cat could approach if she wanted to again. "What's happened to you, huh?" The cat stroked itself against her again.

"Y/N, stop bloody petting a stray cat."

"Harry, she's hurt."

Y/N caressed the creature, smiling a little as the cat started purring, closing her eyes as Y/N scratched her lightly. Discreetly, she looked over her shoulder at Harry. He was already watching her, a slight furrow to his brows.

"Do you have a blanket or something in your bag?" Y/N asked.

"Why?"

"Do you?"

Harry inhaled, sitting up straighter. "Yes."

"Can you get it while you call Gioele? He needs to come here and pick us up ASAP."

Harry's eyes fell to the cat before he dared meet Y/N's eyes again. He narrowed his eyes slightly. "Why are you ordering me around-"

"-Oh, for fuck's sake, Harry." Y/N hissed, knowing that if the cat hadn't been there, she would've probably screamed her lungs out at him. "Why do you question everything everyone's doing? I'm just trying to help a bloody cat!"

The two of them stared at each other. A sinking sensation appeared in her belly, her heart dropping a little. This got him to shut up, mouth falling open a bit as if he couldn't quite believe she'd just said that. And to be honest, Y/N couldn't either. Though she had talked back to Harry, she had never interrupted him or properly cursed him out. However, she had not been able to stop herself now. She wasn't doing this for her personal gain, - to be fair, she rarely did anything for her own sake, she always went out of her way for everyone else – this was for the cat. Their eyes hadn't wavered. Y/N didn't know why they hadn't looked away; why Harry hadn't said something stupid back to her.

But he suddenly placed the canvas on the ground, leaning it against the side of the rock, before he started rummaging through his rucksack. Y/N glanced down at the cat again, running her fingers through her soft fur.

"You're gonna be okay soon, babe." Y/N whispered, sure that if Harry heard her, he'd let out one of those huffs he always did when he found something weird. But he did no such thing. Instead he walked over to her, handing her a towel, and didn't say a single thing. Y/N took the towel and gently put one of her hands under the cat's chin and the other behind her hindlegs, lifting her carefully off the ground and into the towel. Y/N wrapped it around her slowly, making sure to give her small pets of encouragement along the way so she wouldn't grow frightened. Straightening into a standing position, she made sure the cat was okay before looking over at Harry again.

He was watching the cat. His eyes were hooded, a sort of shadow in them she'd never seen before. Y/N didn't know what was going through his head. She so wanted to know what he was thinking. Suddenly, their eyes met, and Harry's lips parted. Was he about to say something? The clouded expression he'd worn seconds earlier disappeared. His green irises seemed to have grown a shade lighter now that he was up close.

He abruptly turned around, bringing his phone out to call Gioele. The phone conversation wasn't long, only a few Italian words spoken back and forth before Harry hung up. Instead of sitting back down on the rock to paint, Harry remained standing. He looked at the cat, fiddling with his fingers.

"She's gonna be okay. I just need to check up on her somewhere with proper equipment." Y/N explained, scratching under the cat's chin.

Harry merely nodded, still not able to look away. For some reason, Harry being this worried about the cat did something weird to Y/N's heartbeat. She tried to ignore it.

"So you know Marco? The baker?" Y/N started.

Harry met her eyes.

"He invited us to a wedding."

He frowned. "What?"

"I'm supposed to get the invitation tomorrow, I think."

Harry inhaled, keeping his mouth open for a few seconds as he contemplated this. "He... invited both of us?"

"Yeah," Y/N nodded her head. "Said I should bring you, that you needed to taste Marco's cake."

Seemingly seriously considering what Y/N had just said, Harry put his hands in his pockets. "Marco said that?"

"Yes, sir." Y/N answered. "You don't believe me?"

"Not that, it's just..." Harry trailed off, biting his lips together as his eyes screwed up into an even deeper frown.

Before she got the chance to ask him what was wrong, the cat started moving restlessly in Y/N's arms. Instead of holding her tighter, Y/N let her squirm a little. Once she'd settled down, Y/N started scratching her again, making sure everything was okay. They stayed like that, calming each other down, and though Y/N wanted to stretch, as sitting on the ground had really done her back dirty, she had to stand as still as possible for the sake of the little kitten. And like that, silence settled over them once again, Harry's unfinished sentence settling like weed in the air around them, its roots choking them both.

It wasn't that Y/N expected Harry to open up to her. She wasn't expecting him to tell her every little thing going on in his life, or to trust her with his heaviest secrets. She simply just wanted him to not think she wasn't curious. When he said stuff like that, or when he talked about Salvatore the way he did last time, or his encounter with that man in the alleyway, it made her think. And when she was thinking, she started overthinking. He made it easy for her to think the worst, and by this point she'd just about thought of every possible outcome to Harry's past. Why was he acting like Marco, or anyone for that matter, wanted him at a wedding? A huge town happening? He didn't even know who was getting married.

Gioele pulled up no long after, shouting something in Italian and waving at both of them. The loud motor made the cat restless again, eager to jump out of Y/N's hands and limp back into the woods.

"We're going somewhere I can do a check up on you, baby," Y/N said, scratching the cat lightly. "It's fine, don't worry."

The cat didn't stop squirming. Cooing and petting her best she could, Y/N did not manage to calm her down.

"Hey, hey," Y/N said, feeling the cat's claws through the cloth. She'd have to sterilise those small wounds later. "Don't worry, mate."

And out of nowhere, as if sliding straight out of a dream, a hand came into view. It ran its fingers through the cat's fur, immediately soothing her. Y/N knew who it was, but she was somehow scared to look up and make it all very real. She watched his tattooed hand scratch the cat behind the ear, the cat's eyes closed, and she quickly started purring again. The tenderness of his fingers, the effortless elegance of his movements, it made it seem like he was making the act of petting cats in discomfort into a new artform. It was soothing to watch.

She wasn't herself when she looked up at Harry. He was standing so close to her; she could smell his cologne again. The sun hit his brown curls just right, looking like locks of pure gold, a bright halo shining around him. Every single one of his features lit up, all small imperfections melting together to make something perfect. The mole on his cheek, the small scar just underneath his left eye, how his right nostril was a little bigger than the other. Close like this, she noticed absolutely everything about him. The rest of the colours of the world seemed dull in comparison to Harry right now. And as quickly as she thought that, Y/N mentally stomped on her own face.

Harry took a step away, letting Y/N walk forward toward Gioele's car. As he stepped away, she got the sun in her eyes again, the familiar stinging so not welcome. At the sight of the cat in Y/N's arms, the driver quickly got out, opening the door to the backseat for her. Y/N was about to get into the car when the cat starts squirming again, meowing and clawing at the towel. Gently, Y/N started cooing again, trying to calm her down once again. However, with both her hands occupied, it was hard to pet her, to let her know it was all going to be alright. The cat just had to be still for a few seconds more and she'd be in the car where she could scratch her and make her comfortable again. Just a few seconds more and the two of them would be on their way to the nearest vet so Y/N could help her. But it didn't seem the cat wanted to get into the car. Y/N tried to reposition her, but that only made the cat let out a squeak that made Y/N flinch.

Suddenly, the hand was there again, petting the poor cat once again. It worked like magic, because she relaxed instantly, Y/N feeling the claws that had been dug into her skin disappear. She let out a breath.

"Get in the car." Harry said, voice low. At first Y/N thought he was talking to Gioele, but when she looked up at him, he was looking right back at her.

Y/N blinked. "But she's just gonna start squirming."

"It's alright."

And so she did as Harry told her to, bending her head down as she sat down in the car, getting comfortable in the seat. Repositioning the cat again, she watched as Harry removed his hand again. But the cat didn't seem to have any of that, immediately trying to get out of the towel now that she wasn't being calmed down.

"Move over."

Though it was a command, the words were soft, as if he could've whispered them into her ear in a completely different scenario. What the fuck are you doing right now, Y/N thought to herself, hating that she'd started thinking of Harry this way. He's a twat, he's a twat, he's a twat-

"-Y/N."

She scooched over to the other side of the car, feeling her mouth fall open as Harry followed her, joining her in the backseat. She felt his leg flush against her own, the dungaree against her bare surface. Their entire upper arms touching, sweaty skin against sweaty skin. The entire position made Y/N a tad dizzy. And it really did not help the fact that Harry was leaning over, scratching the injured cat to keep her relaxed. Y/N felt the exact opposite of that cat. She felt everything and was very much not relaxed. The car was so small, and she'd have to stay this close to him till they were at the vet. Who knew how long that could take.

Suddenly her eyes fell on the situation beyond Harry, at everything he was leaving behind. But Gioele stepped on the gas, driving as fast as he could. They left absolutely every single thing behind. Quickly, she looked over her shoulder out the back window, suddenly feeling very panicky.

"What?" His voice was a whisper, the small word leaving his lips like a simple puff of air that hit her jaw, sending a storm of goosebumps up and down her back.

"Your..." she started, swallowing thickly before looking down at the cat in her arms. "Your moped."

"I'll get it later."

She hated that he sounded like he wasn't faced by the close proximity at all.

"What if someone steals your painting?"

Looking up at him, she realised once again how close they were. They might have been close earlier when he helped calm the cat down outside, but this... this was close. She felt his hot breath against her lips, in her nose; felt his eyes on her like there was nowhere else to look in the car; felt everything too much. He was... so handsome. So incredibly good looking. There was undoubtedly sweat along her hairline and cupid bow, but she literally could not reach up to remove it right now. She was unable to move, not only because of the cat, but because of Harry.

"Don't worry about it." He said.

She tore her eyes away from him, feeling her heart pick up to an abnormal speed. Clearing her throat a bit, she bit her bottom lip before saying, "Sorry for getting mad earlier. About you always questioning everything." She knew she shouldn't have snapped at him, but she had been so pissed off in the moment. The cat's life was on the line, and Harry not choosing to listen to her had really gotten to her in the worst way possible. If she could've taken it back, she would've. But she couldn't. All she had to do now was beg for forgiveness and hope Harry wasn't fuming about it all.

Harry inhaled slowly, "Don't apologise."

This made her look straight up at him again. His eyes hadn't wavered from before. Once again, she felt like she couldn't move. Had he really just... had he really... just told her not to apologise?

"I shouldn't question everything. You're right."

Had he always had freckles strewn elegantly over the bridge of his nose? Had he had that slight shadow of a beard along his jawline earlier today? Had his voice always been this silky smooth? She was realising this all so quickly, it felt like the car was driving double the speed limit and in constant circles. He was agreeing with her. He realised she was right. He gave in.

"You're..." he paused, as if he was realising what Y/N was. Slowly, he blinked, mouth opening a little wider, eyes on her still. "Right."

The words hung in the air between them for a long while, neither sure what to do next. But Y/N felt the cat move around in her arms, so she quickly looked down, only to notice Harry wasn't scratching her anymore. As soon the cat started complaining, Harry petted her again, receiving a soft meow and satisfied purring.

They stayed quiet till they reached the vet. Y/N was only too aware she was touching Harry the entire way, feeling him beside her. Every bulk of his body, the hairs of his arm against hers; so close that their breathing started synching up. For a short period of time, Y/N tried to stop breathing for a second so she could stop them from synchronising. However, they fell straight back into it, so in the end, she just gave up.

Harry was the first one out once they were at the vet, opening the door for Y/N so she could get out without difficulty. She said a quick thanks before making her way inside, walking straight up to the desk. There she told them she was a veterinary student from England and she had to check up on the cat she'd brought in, she was scared she'd a broken bone. The veterinarians talked amongst themselves in low Italian voices, glancing over in Y/N's direction every once in a while. She knew they were discussing if they should let Y/N do this or not, as they didn't know for sure if she actually was a veterinary student. But she continued to cling to the kitten, stroking her fur, and cooing that everything would be alright soon.

"Dice la veritá." Harry suddenly said, making Y/N, veterinarians, and the cat all jump. "É una veterinaria.Deve aiutare questo gatto; lo ha già controllato e sa cosa fare adesso. Lasciatela aiutare."

Y/N frowned, mouth opening to say something to him, but she stopped herself when one of the veterinarians walked forward. In a quiet, very accented voice, she said, "Come this way, Signora."

Y/N gave her a smile, throwing a quick thank you in the direction of the rest of them before following the one down a corridor. She could hear Harry saying something to the veterinarians, his voice faint as she walked further and further away from him. The walls were white, the whole building looking very clean, just like you would imagine a hospital to be like. Sounds of animals and other chatter came from all sorts of angles, and suddenly, even though she’d never been there before, Y/N felt at home. She hadn’t realised just how much she’d missed working with and helping animals till now.

For some reason, Y/N heard a third set of footsteps, not just her own and the other nurse’s. Looking over her shoulder, she saw Harry following close behind, taking a quick look over his own shoulder before staring ahead again. Y/N looked away, rather focusing her attention on the vet who was showing them to a room. But she couldn’t stop trying to conjure up a reason as to why Harry would follow them. He obviously had to get back to his painting and everything they’d left behind, why was he coming with? Y/N could truly never fully wrap her had around Harry. No matter how hard she tried. All Y/N was able to compare him to was corn-starch goo. Upon impact, he would harden up and not let you in, but if you treated him with care, he would eventually be easier to handle. She wrinkled her nose a little, the memory of getting corn-starch goo stuck in her hair as a kid creeping into her mind.

“It’s most likely a bone fracture.” Y/N said. “We need to do an X-ray.”

The other veterinarian nodded, leading them down another corridor before opening a door. They sedated the cat and when she was asleep, they proceeded to do a quick X-ray. There Y/N saw what she already kind of knew: a broken bone. However, it wasn’t as bad as she initially thought, which made her let out a sigh of relief. They let the X-ray and walked on to another room where Y/N could place a cast on her foot.

The vet opened another door, giving Y/N a little smile before they both entered. Harry went in with them, closing the door firmly as Y/N placed the small cat on the table. She went straight to work, not wasting any time. It didn’t take long to apply a cast, and since she’d already been taught this and done it about a million times, she knew perfectly well what she was doing. She gave the sleeping cat a little pet, hating to think that she might’ve been in pain for a day or two without anyone noticing. Y/N hadn’t even thought about the cat maybe being a stray, or if she had an owner. And if she did have an owner, how did Y/N reach them? The cat didn’t have a collar with any sort of information on. After this, she’d have to make sure the cat was taken care of for the next six weeks. It needed change in bandages, food, care… This was a whole mess.

The veterinarian said she had to leave as she had an appointment coming up, and Y/N told her it was fine, she could do this fine on her own. Then it was just the three of them again; Y/N, the cat, and Harry. Y/N’s attention was on her little patient though, so she quickly forgot Harry was even in the room. It was only when he’d move closer or move in the slightest bit that she’d remember he was still in the room with them. That he’d come all this way and wouldn’t let the cat out of sight till he knew she was alright. Y/N straightened, stretching her back as bending over like she was doing right now was a pain over a longer period of time. She looked in Harry’s direction, only to find him already staring at her.

He held eye contact, eyebrows twitching slightly as he took her in. She didn’t know what he was doing, but the intensity of his glance made her cheeks heat up. Just anyone watching her work, seeing how serious she was about the wellbeing of little helpless animals, made her feel both uncomfortable and weirdly proud of herself. She liked showing off, but there was a thing called showing off too much, meant in the worst way possible.

She looked away, focusing on the little foot again. However, she was unable to get Harry’s powerful stare out of her mind. He was right there, watching each of her tiniest movements, and she was all too aware of it.

She tried to make herself think about the cat. What was she going to do about the cat? She’d have to bring it back to Fosdinovo and care for it, but she didn’t have any cat essentials, had never had a pet in her entire life. The thought of taking care of her and then having to most likely give her away when she was leaving in August, broke Y/N’s heart. She knew she was going to get attached to this cat now. Spending money on food for her, toys, maybe a leash so Y/N knew she wouldn’t run away to Lerici where they’d found her. She was either keeping the cat with her till she was leaving or finding the owners herself. Or both. She was most definitely going to do both. That was if she had an owner at all.

Suddenly, Harry’s phone went off, making both of them jump.

“Sorry.” He mumbled under his breath before swiping his thumb across the bottom of his phone, pressing it to his ear.

He started talking in Italian, so Y/N zoned out, instead focusing her attention on the bandage that she was finished perfect soon. The European shorthair was still fast asleep, blissfully unaware of what she was going to wake up to later. Y/N gave her a gentle pet again, knowing that though she would have a hard time disciplining and taking care of a cat this summer, she’d grow to love the little bugger an immense amount.

Harry suddenly hung up, inhaling sharply. “Gotta leave.”

Y/N looked up at him. “Oh?”

“My painting and the stuff I left behind on that cliff.” Harry said, gesturing behind him with a slow nod. “Need to get it before someone else does.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

Something in his eyes shifted as he held her stare, a delicate blink doing something to his features that Y/N thought softened his expression a bit. Inhaling slowly, she continued to hold his gaze, waiting for him to leave. And when he finally broke eye contact, turning around and walking out the door, Y/N felt stupid she’d waited for that moment to happen, as if she’d wanted it to. Slowly, she turned her attention back to the cat, finishing the bandage.

Wednesday, 24 July 2019

Y/N had decided to call the little one Viola. Getting home to Fosdinovo the following day, Y/N had gone out to get everything she needed to make the little one comfortable in her temporary home. Viola had a hard time getting used to her cast, meowing a whole lot and taking some time settling before going to sleep. But once Y/N and Viola found a comfortable position to cuddle in, they stayed that way till morning.

To let Viola get used to walking around outside with the cast, Y/N put her on a leash. The leash was attached to the cat’s pastel pink collar, fitting perfectly around her little neck. Putting on some comfortable clothes, Y/N and Viola went on their first ever walk through Fosdinovo. Viola struggled at first, meowing and stopping to get a break, refusing to stand on her leg still. Y/N would bend down and give Viola a little encouragement, and then the two were on their merry way again.

As always, the sun was shining, though that day brought on a few clouds, leaving the little mountain village in shadow from time to time. Y/N would appreciate the small breaks from the sun she was able to get. It wasn’t that she hated the sun, she just hated the sweating that came with it. And how it was hard to breathe if it was too hot. And the way she always had to squint in sunlight because everything was so bright it hurt her eyes.

Turning the corner to walk up to her usual bakery, Y/N stopped dead when she almost bumped into someone. She gasped a little, holding a hand to her heart while giggling at her own reaction. As she looked up at the person she had almost knocked over, she locked eyes with a set of very familiar ones.

“Salvatore.”

He gave her that charming smile of his, the black stubble along the lower part of his face was much more prominent now, his matching hair a perfect mess. God, Y/N inhaled sharply, he’s so bloody fit.

“Y/N,” he retorted. “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“You’re never at the bakery.” She reasoned, making him chuckle. Her heart let out a very dreamy sigh at the sound.

“No, I have had…” he sighed. “Had a lot on my plate recently.”

She tried not to frown. “Sorry to hear that.”

“No, no, don’t be.” He shook his head. “Anyway, what are you up to?”

She smiled, gesturing down at the little cat beside her, meowing up at them. With her pink collar and leash to match, she looked so cute Y/N could squeal. Having spent as much time with Viola as she had over the last 24 hours, the idea of being stuck with this little cuddle ball the rest of the summer delighted her a whole bloody lot.

“Ahh!” Salvatore’s lips broke out into a huge grin, he crunched down so he could pet her. “Who’s this?”

“That’s Viola. Found her injured on a hill yesterday, so I put a bandage on her leg, and now I’m taking care of her ‘cause I don’t think she’s got an owner.

Salvatore looked up at her. “That’s kind of you.”

Y/N’s cheeks heated up again, she broke eye contact. “Couldn’t just leave her to fend for herself. Plus, the cast needs changing, she won’t remember her vet appointment on her own.”

Again, Salvatore laughed, looking down at Viola who sat beside Y/N, clearly not in the mood to be petted right then. Salvatore stood again, meeting Y/N’s eyes. She couldn’t stop thinking about how handsome he was. He was so ridiculously handsome. She was blushing just looking at him.

“Do you and Viola have any plans today?”

Y/N shook her head. “Not really, just walking around.”

“Do you think Viola would mind me walking around with you?”

Yeah, she could most definitely not fight her blush now. Why was it so hot in Italy? She needed a fan. Something cold to drink. Maybe throw herself into a freezer. Regaining consciousness, Y/N nodded her head at Salvatore.

“Think she’d like that very much.”

Salvatore grinned, stepping aside so they could walk on. “Amazing.”

Y/N bit her lip, looking down at Viola when she started walking, the cat following suit instantly. She meowed, looking up at Y/N, clearly uncomfortable with the cast still even though she knew how to work it now. Giving her a little scratch behind the ear, Y/N picked her up, holding her so that the cast wouldn’t be at an awkward angle. Viola meowed again, clinging to Y/N’s tank top.

“You two okay?” Salvatore asked, eyes on Viola who had just settled down.

“Yeah, think she’s just tired.”

“Ahh,” he reached over, ruffling Viola’s fur a little. “Hope she can get some rest while we do the walking.

Y/N smiled, looking at Salvatore’s hand among Viola’s stripes. Made her think of another, much more tattooed up hand, doing the exact same thing the day before. She blinked, willing the image out of her head. And the second she locked eyes with Salvatore again, it did. Why did he have the dreamiest eyes in the world?

Salvatore continued to pet Viola as he spoke softly, “Have you heard of Biagi?”

“No.”

“It’s an ice cream place not too far away from here,” he said, smile widening. “Could I take you there?”

He wanted to take her for ice cream. Salvatore had just asked if she wanted to have ice cream with her. Oh my God oh my God oh my God. Y/N’s smile broadened with Salvatore’s. “Yes, you can.”

Salvatore bent down as if he was about to talk to Viola. “You want ice cream, Viola?”

Viola shrunk away, taken off guard by Salvatore’s closeness. Y/N laughed, biting her lip as she looked at Salvatore again, way closer now than he had been before.

“Think she wants ice cream as well.” He said, shrugging his shoulders.

“Good thing we’re getting ice cream then.”

Salvatore gave her a quick wink before he started walking backwards. “Good thing.”

NEXT UPDATE: Sunday, 22nd December 2019, 9PM GMT

big thanks to my lovely beta readers!

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