#Premature Ejaculation Relationship Problem

[hopekreymin]

𝐍𝐒𝐅𝐖 Postal Dude headcanons (from Ao3)

RELATIONSHIP: Postal Dude x Female Reader.

WARNING: Smut, Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Body Part Kinks, Cunnilingus, Dom/sub, Switching, Crossdressing, Name-Calling, Dirty Talk, Light BDSM, Masochism, Orgasm Edging, Choking, Breeding, Loud Sex, Age Difference, Pegging, Biting, Marks, Bondage, Rough Sex, Verbal Humiliation, Premature Ejaculation, Public Sex, Anal Sex Fantasy, Mommy Kink.

• The Dude is one of those people who can get turned on by the most ordinary, simple things. He may not show it, but he actually pays attention to all the details and notices the slightest changes in you. He can spend hours watching you and how you do everyday things, how you clean, cook, wash dishes, comb your hair, paint your nails, read, do your hobbies or just lie lazily on the couch. In the eyes of the Dude, everything you do is beautiful and graceful. He melts when he sees you in his clothes, be it his shirt, robe or trench coat. You just look so cute to him in his clothes. When you write something, he looks at you, enchanted, with that goofy smile, like you just walked out of his dreams. But what turns him on the most is when you straighten your hair and pull it into a ponytail. Then he will certainly have a desire to kiss your entire exposed neck and collarbones.

• The Dude also, despite his outward aloofness and coldness, is actually a very tactile person around you. He almost constantly needs your touch or the opportunity to touch you as if it fuels his life. He often hugs you and just puts his hands on you, enjoying your skin and the way his big, rough palms and fingers feel against you. His touch is always warm, sometimes even hot, and filled with love and passion. He can touch you anywhere and soon you'll be a hot mess. He loves it when you lay your head on his chest, or when he does the same. When you kiss his collarbone or chin, while playing with his goatee, it gives him goosebumps and a pleasant tingling in his spine. He even admitted that he loves to squeeze you as a stress reliever, especially your breasts, thighs and butt. If you want to calm him down, just lie down with your ass up and let his hands do the work.

• Keep in mind that the Dude is a very nasty motherfucker and use it. He will not refuse a single thing that you offer him in bed. Lick your pussy after he cums inside? No problem, just make sure he doesn't gag. A threesome, even with another man? Damn, this will be a fun shake for his bones. He's willing to have sex with you even in public places, and if someone catches you red-handed, he won't be too upset because he enjoys the adrenaline and the potential of being caught. He would even fuck you in a public toilet if he was too horny and there were no better options. He is open to all your secret shameful fantasies, because this way he can satisfy you even more.

• Oddly enough, the Dude is pretty good at eating you out. This means that he can skillfully use his tongue not only to throw insults and witticisms, but also to make you squirm and moan with pleasure. He also loves teasing, so sometimes he uses his teeth on you, although he's careful enough not to hurt you. He will devour your pussy with such appetite as if it was the most delicious dessert of his life. He's really addicted to your taste and texture, so he's often more enthusiastic about eating you out than even you. He drinks in your juices, making loud slurping sounds that make you blush wildly from embarrassment. He will even lick his fingers clean of the residue after your orgasm, looking as if he is a gourmet trying a delicacy and just can’t get enough of it.

• The Dude loves it when he can see the results of your vibrant sex life on your or even his body. The hickeys, scratches, bites and bruises on both of you make him feel like you were truly meant for each other. It’s like a special print, meaning that you are his, and he is yours, and everyone should know about it if they don’t want any trouble. But he is also not against more painful actions. The Dude has had a lot of injuries in his life, after all, this is the same guy who shot himself in the head because of his ex-wife's nagging, so he learned to perceive pain not so sharply, but enjoy it. He is seriously turned on by slaps, even when there is no sexual hint in it. He often either chokes himself or asks you to choke him while jerking off. He enjoys the drive of it, wondering if he can cum before he needs air. The Dude also uses a tight cock ring or clamps on his poor little guy, and also inserts various objects into his urethra. He even asks you to step on his dick.

• The Dude can not only be dominant in bed, but he also likes to submit to you and act more passive, desperate and needy so that you can do whatever you want with him. In fact, he is excited by the idea of his own degradation and humiliation. At such moments, he can finally feel defenseless and weak-willed. He may even wear women's clothing, be it lingerie, short skirts, stockings and garters, or a maid outfit. As soon as he puts one of these on, he turns into a slutty little bitch. In this state of his, you usually switch roles, and you become the one who makes him squirm on the bed and scream your name. You can take the strap-on and do him exactly where you have him.

• He loves dirty talk. He swears a lot and calls everyone names in everyday life, but in bed with you, it’s special. He often calls you a whore, a slut, a bitch, a cocksucker, a cunt, a sissy, a tramp, a cock sleeve, a dirty pig and much more. But after you finish your hot and passionate fucking marathon, he again shows you his kind and caring side. When you are lying on the bed tired and sweaty, he will definitely hug you and call you his sweet, dear kitten, his princess, his sunshine, his sugar bun. After which he will almost carry you in his arms to the shower, and then put you to bed. Or he will fall asleep next to you, without showering, but in your arms.

• Don't forget that even when he fucks you hard, he's still a silly goofball. During his thrusts or blowjob, he can suddenly remember about any random unimportant bullshit, and then just laugh at it. In general, he has a habit of talking during sex. He often jokes and makes sarcastic remarks. Or he can discuss daily tasks and plans with you, like:

"Who will wash the dishes today, you or me?"

"I think you say it’s your mom’s birthday soon, should I give her some kind of gift?"

аnd so on. It irritates you a little, but he can't help it. But you know a great way to shut him up, right? Sit on his face.

• The Dude has one strange entertainment that annoys and bothers you. He has some kind of obsession with your underwear or something like that. You’ve caught him groping your bras, silk nightrobes and panties a couple of dozen times already. Probably one could see the point in this, like, underwear comes into contact with the skin much more and perhaps this reminds him of you when you are not at home. But you didn’t ask him to jerk off and cum on your underwear! You came home one day and walked into your bedroom only to see a Dude literally fucking your bra on the bed with his dick between the pillows and your bra. You have already said that you are tired of washing your clothes several times from his cum, but he still continues to do it, but now your socks and stockings have also been added to his collection.

• At the beginning of your relationship, you agreed with each other that you did not want to get married and have children for the next few years. The Dude supported this idea because he doesn’t see himself as a father, much less a good and responsible father. But maybe he’s not telling you something to the end... He keeps these thoughts secret from you, unlike everything else, because he’s really worried that you’ll think he’s too strange and kinky. He still thought a couple of times about what would happen if you were pregnant. And he definitely wasn't thinking about how hard he would work to support his family, no, his thoughts were more perverted. For some reason, the thought of him getting you accidentally pregnant made him feel hot and heavy. He doesn’t know why and what he even found exciting about pregnancy and whether he needs to visit a psychologist. Although it seems to him that this is all somehow connected with the topic of human breeding, which he accidentally read about in some cheap porn book.

• The Dude is against you calling him Daddy and in general he doesn’t like or relate to this whole theme and aesthetics. He clearly has psychological trauma from his father, so this is a bit of a sore subject for him. In addition, this game of Daddy and Baby girl creates unhealthy and disgusting associations in his damaged brain that he would not want to think about in a relationship with you. But if you want him to call you Mommy, then he will agree to this a little more willingly. Perhaps this is due to the fact that you take care of him, while being the dominant one in the relationship, or the fact that he had almost no mother in his life, so he does not know what it is like.

• Dude likes anal sex and he doesn’t hide it. You could have guessed this just by accidentally finding his browser history, because about 40% of all the porn he watches is anal sex porn. He likes to give as well as receive. He will repeatedly talk and hint to you about this, sometimes insist. When you asked him why he wanted to fuck your ass so badly, he said:

"Just imagine the picture: you’re on your knees on the bed, your ass is in the air, back is arched, I’m leaning my boner against your sugar plump ass from behind, my hands are on your globes. With one thrust I'm balls deep in you. And with every smack or thrust your ass jiggles like jelly, holding tightly and milking my cock..."

Dude is a big dreamer. To this you answered him:

"You know, the same thing will happen if you fuck my pussy from behind."

It seems that you have not yet decided to fulfill his fantasies, but perhaps someday.

• If you are wondering about the exact measurements of his cock, it is 4'7 inches (12 cm). Perhaps not as big as many men of his size would like, but he's not complaining. And you too. He knows how to compensate for his size with skills. The skin on his dick is quite thin, which gives you the opportunity to admire the bluish veins on it. When the Dude is very aroused, his cock becomes very sensitive and hot. So he starts moaning at the slightest touch or cool breath of wind on his boner. He could probably cum just from you breathing on it. It's the same with his balls. If you really want to make him cum as quickly as possible, just squeeze or play with his nuts, he will just go crazy with it and go into complete euphoria, after which he will need a few minutes of respite.

[yandere-sins]

Ok but like… can you do some yandere NSFW könig headcanons? Like if you disobeyed him and you were crying and scared of the punishment but he has to do it but he’s super horny I’m sorry ignore if it’s too thirsty I’m down bad 😩😩😩

You, me, everyone lol. Thank you guys for being down bad for this anxious bad boy, I love him too ♥

Rated Lemon, 18+

»»———————— ♡ ————————««  

♡ If you put huge body mass, anxiety, and social awkwardness in one man, you cannot expect him not to absolutely simp for his darling in any and all ways possible to mankind. Of course, he tries so hard to make you like him and gain your favor until you finally cave in and comply with him asking you to come to him for cuddles. König didn't know he'd get a massive boner the moment you straddle his hips either, but well... now it's there, and he's biting his lip to the point of drawing blood, ready to fall to his knees, begging you not to abandon him once you notice and jump off him. If you don't notice it right away, mistaking the boner for his muscled thighs, you'll probably find out about it from his heavy panting and strangled breaths as he barely lasts a few seconds before cumming in his pants. He's so fucking ashamed and still so fucking hard afterward that it's painful.

♡ I know the real question is: Does he whimper? And tl;dr: He whimpers. It's such a glorious, stammering mess when his cock gets the tiniest bit of attention. König thanks, moans, praises, and then thanks you some more for the opportunity to fuck you, disregarding if you were on board before he started his merciless thrusts or not. Up to climax, he is all but praising the lord for how beautiful, amazing, and enhancing his life you are, and how tight, warm, wet, and well you're taking him. He loves you, he loves you, he loves you. Only to then, abruptly, grow quiet, breath halting as his body tenses, a strangled squeak escaping him as his cock pulses inside you, ready to release all this pressure that has built up for years. It might become a problem that he can't shut up in further sessions because he's downright annoying as he goes on and on while you're trying to reach your own orgasm somehow through the awful experience. But if you demand it from him, König will do his damn best, sounding like a miserable squeaky toy every time he thrusts into you and isn't allowed to say something. It's this hard for him to stay quiet.

♡ He's a huge premature ejaculator with too much stamina. No matter the reason you two are fucking—be it out of emotions overcoming you two or because he can't take it anymore and takes you out of uncontrollable need—König is all but over the moon over every touch or breath against his cock. If there's any warmth to plunge into (mouth/pussy/ass), he's cumming from the slightest stimulation, like a lick or his tip sliding in, only to then get a real taste as his hips move on their own, driving his cock deep inside with no restraints and his jizz as the lubricant. There's no holding back once he's inside you either, as he keeps plowing through both of you continuously reaching climax until he's finally satisfied. However, he still cums more times than you do, filling you up to the brim. I blame it on his lack of real-life experience, so over time and training, König, too, will last a little longer. Though this also means there really isn't a way to tease him for the first year of being caught up with him. König just cums from everything you do once he had a taste of you, even if it's just something like you having nothing clean to wear and putting on his shirt. The stains everywhere are abhorrent.

♡ I do totally believe that König's darling is likely his first and last relationship despite the... situation you two have with him kidnapping you and now using you as a cumdumpster as well. So he's still quite inexperienced, BUT he works incredibly hard to please you regardless. There are surprisingly a lot of tutorials these days on how to please your partner, and König is all too happy to try them on you. Making you cum ultimately also makes him cum, but he's genuinely doing it for you first and foremost, and it elates and motivates him to see you shivering and climaxing right in front of his eyes. There's something so satisfying in knowing he can do this to you, and it almost makes König believe if he keeps going, you'll fall in love with him at some point. He's too delusional to know when to stop or listen to you begging him to accept it when you say no. Once he starts fulfilling his desires, there's no way anyone can stop him. It's like fucking you becomes his second way of breathing.

♡ König probably wouldn't use sex as a harsh punishment. However, he really hates arguing with you (it upsets his anxiety badly), so if he finds out that he can stop arguments with his cock or fingers, there's a very high chance he'll use them against you. Listening to your gurgles or moans is like heaven after the hell every argument is for him, so he'd rather 'punish' you by facefucking you or fry your brain by having you hang from his thick fingers until you're a drooling mess. It's a charming way to stop unnecessary bouts of emotions, and once he learns to keep himself more in check, he'll be happy to leave you behind to go about his day after making sure you can't form any coherent thoughts anymore that would cause more arguing. It's like he resetting you back to more peaceful times, and it works well for him.

♡ While König doesn't like anything that can potentially harm you (he believes that sex should be nice and loving and a wonderful experience for you both while he forces you to take him like an animal), he does have his fair share of kinks. He's totally on board with trying everything once as long as it's between the two of you since he really doesn't like sharing you with anyone. His favorites will always be kinks that mark you in some way, be it covering you in cum, biting, scratching, leaving hickies, painting your inside whites (and all the kinks that support this), and watching it drip out of you as if that means you belong to him now. He also loves all kinds of things that enhance the experience, like groping, toys (though he gets childishly jealous of them), forcing you to roleplay (authority kink in both ways, baby!), foreplay sessions, etc. And when he does realize he might have worn you out, König will simply resort to using your worn underwear or getting off between your thighs to finish his session alone. Nothing compares to being inside you, but it's a pleasant alternative every once in a while.

♡ His curiosity, however, has led to a few reprehensible times, too, especially when it comes to applying his strength. His hands are just a bit too big when they wrap around your throat, and had he not snapped out of it, he might have snapped you. The same goes for being so lost in fucking you that he doesn't realize he's accidentally ramming you into the headboard or slamming you into a wall. Sometimes he won't realize he's squeezing the air out of your lungs with his weight on top of you. Occasionally, these things happen, and they ruin the mood for both of you. Worn out by PTSD, things become increasingly dangerous as he remembers moments from the battlefield, even though you are in front of him. It feels like he's trying to crush you with his arms until you panic and scream his name to pull him back to reality and out of the memories of him killing soldiers with his bare hands. König is so devastated whenever he does things like this, trying to get you comfortable by holding you and coddling you even though you want nothing more but to get away from him. He'll cry and apologize so much that the rest of the day is ruined, and he can never forgive himself for confusing you with a damn bastard on the battlefield. No matter how much you struggle, you won't be able to get out of his hold now either, as he needs to feel you as close as possible to know you're okay while he goes through a full-blown anxiety attack over what he did. But hey! At least you're alive... barely.

[ken-dom]

March Magic

Holland March x afab!reader

4k words

∘₊✧ Summary: Three times Holland March couldn't get it up, and one time he could.

∘₊✧ Authors’s notes: I've missed Holland, but upon a rewatch of The Nice Guys, he crashed my doors down and proceeded to experience erectile dysfunction in my living room so. Here you have it. Thank you to the wonderful K for beta reading and being the best as usual!! The warnings are pretty wild on this one so... strap in.

∘₊✧ Warnings/content: NSFW, erectile dysfunction, crying, passing out, smoking, oral sex, shotgun kissing (both the pussy and the mouth), mention of bee mating rituals/bee death, hand job, blow job, premature ejaculation, Holland having hyperspermia as usual, kind of established relationship, general wet cat pathetic energy

∘₊✧─────────────────────✧₊∘

‘Mmh- I uh- I’ll be right back,’ Holland mumbled against your kiss-swollen lips, ‘wait there- don’t move-’

His body clumsily moved off the bed until he was stood, stooped over you with lips still attached to yours until you dropped back onto the bed and finally freed him.

‘Don’t be too long, sexy,’ you winked at him as he slinked off toward his adjoining bathroom, and he huffed a faux coy laugh.

What the fuck did he need to go to the bathroom for at this late stage? Maybe it’s where he keeps the condoms, you thought, relaxing against his luxuriously soft pillows. Makes sense, he probably hasn’t used one for a while, what would be the use of keeping them by the bed?

Meanwhile, Holland let out a long, steadying exhale. You hadn’t noticed. Jesus. How he’d got this far without you trying to grope him and realising what was going on (or not going on), he’d no idea, but he’d managed to distract you long enough by pressing his thigh between your legs while kissing you sloppily and needily, and you seemed to drink it up, moaning into his mouth and writhing against him.

Hell, he could feel your heat through his trousers and wondered with a smirk whether he’d need to get this suit dry cleaned and make up an excuse about the mysterious wet patch just above the knee.

Your fingers in his hair were sending shivers down his spine, and heat was pooling in his lower belly, and you kept breathing his name, and it was all so incredibly fucking hot, but for reasons he didn’t want to acknowledge, his dick just wouldn’t respond.

He slipped into the bathroom and clicked the door shut behind him, collapsing against it and closing his eyes. He didn’t bother to switch on the light; he could feel the room spinning, he didn’t need to see it too.

His hand slid down over his flaccid cock, and for a moment, he thought, Pathetic, but then he tried to focus his thoughts back to you. Back to the way your body felt pressed against his, the way you uttered his name like a desperate, horny prayer, how good you’d feel when he finally managed to get it up and bury himself inside you.

He palmed himself over his trousers halfheartedly, knowing deep down it was a lost cause, and with his voice lower than a whisper, he uttered a shaky, ‘March, March, he’s our man! If he can’t do it, no one can. Maaaarch!’

Not even a twitch.

He slid down to the floor and sobbed, banging his head back against the door, and the darkened room turned suddenly darker.

Until the morning, when he found you asleep on the bed, clutching his pillow in lieu of the man himself.

****

‘Wanna taste you-’ Holland slurred against your throat. He wished he could smell you, smell the perfume he could taste, bitter against his tongue, but at least he could bury his face between your thighs and intoxicate himself in you that way.

There was also the small problem of his cock not playing ball again, despite tearing your clothes off, his hands exploring every inch of you, despite you telling him you needed him in that sultry, seductive voice that drove him wild.

He wasn’t going to leave you dissatisfied and alone again, no matter how far gone he was. Not this time. Come on, March.

He felt you nod, heard the desperation in your whine of agreement, and slipped lower, realising as he gripped your thighs to spread them apart that he still had an unlit cigarette propped between his fingers from when you’d kissed him while trying to light said cigarette. Who could blame you for getting distracted by those gorgeous, sparklingly sad eyes and pressing your lips to his instead?

‘Oh shit- give me a second-’ he mumbled, more to himself than to you, but as he moved to drop the cigarette, you grabbed and held his hands firmly against your thighs to stop him moving it away. When he looked up at you, questioning, you reached for the lighter on the nightstand and lit it for him.

‘Carry on,’ you smirked.

Holland swallowed hard. That was the hottest thing you’d ever done. Well, the second hottest, besides actually letting him eat you out whilst smoking, which was about to take first place.

‘Jesus…’

He took a long drag, partly a need, since he hadn’t smoked in a hot fifteen minutes, partly a show for you. He relished in the way you bit your lip as you watched his eyes sliding shut at the brief satisfaction at the nicotine hit. He exhaled slowly too, relishing in it as though it were giving him the pleasure he should be feeling from you.

Fuck. He shouldn't be focusing on that right now. He dragged a soft fingertip through your slick folds and felt you shudder. Taking another drag, he exhaled right at the moment he dove down to wrap his lips around your swollen clit, smoke spreading a tingling warmth around your exposed core.

Somewhere between lapping at your folds and devouring your clit, Holland realised he’d neglected his cigarette and the consequences could be… fuck, stop thinking- just-

Feeling your thighs clench around him, he half-reluctantly pulled back for another drag, and to flick some loose ash into the ashtray by the bed, and you whined in protest, already so close you could feel your bundle of nerves throbbing in the absence of his tongue. Holland sure worked fast, but he was easily distracted, too, and you couldn’t even blame him for this since this was technically your idea.

This time, as he exhaled, his tongue dipped inside, the smoke hot against your cooling slick as it swirled back out of your entrance and up around your folds, and, admiring the combination for moment, Holland licked a stripe right up to your clit to start right back where he’d left off.

He carefully slid a finger inside this time, too, surprisingly delicate in his movements as he beckoned, stroking that spot inside you that made your toes curl so precisely as his mouth took care of the rest.

Jesus, he sure knows his way around down there- 

‘Fuck- f-fuck- Holland-!’

Your climax was so close you could practically taste it, and so could he, but there was the small complication of his cigarette still burning by your thigh.

Hips rolling to rut against his tongue as he lapped eagerly, fingerfucking you with enthusiastic vigour, your back arched off the bed and your fingers found their way into his messy sun-kissed hair, and just as your breath turned ragged, he pulled away again for another nicotine hit.

Not only did he leave you exposed to the cold air without his mouth covering you, but his finger apparently couldn’t continue to fuck into you while he was focussing on the cigarette, either. He’d never been great at multitasking and obviously the Camel was just too delicious to try. Fucking hell.

‘Tease,’ you groaned weakly, and Holland, sobering slightly (only very slightly, and very, very briefly) finally realised what this was doing to you and shoved the end of the cigarette into the ashtray, diving back down to finish the job properly, almost choking on the combination of smoke and pussy in the process. God, it tasted incredible together and he was so into it that it took no time at all for you to get that simmering feeling right back.

He felt your orgasm approach, and then shake through your body, felt you turn limp after the high subsided, and carried on for a while, softer and slower, until your thighs were clamping around his head again with oversensitivity and he ate you like a man possessed once again.

Just as your second orgasm approached, Holland seemed to slow, so you jerked your hips to spur him on, but suddenly he felt heavier too, and when you called his name in frustration, he didn’t answer.

You guessed he’d finally passed out, and propped yourself up on your elbows. You inadvertently slid your folds over his handsome nose as you manoeuvred, gasping at the sensation which, although subtle, tipped you over the edge. Your breath caught and your blood boiled and every fibre of you trembled with pleasure you hadn’t expected. 

His finger, although still, was still firmly thrust inside you and your walls clenched hard around it as you slapped a hand over your mouth to keep from yelling out and waking him.

Jesus… I’m gonna have to ride that nose for real, you mused when your thoughts turned coherent again, and then you began the process of sliding out from beneath him and dragging his messy, half-dressed form further up the bed and onto his pillow for some rest.

You cleaned yourself up before sinking into bed beside him to sleep, but you left his moustache soaked with your essence. You knew it would drive him wild in the morning, and maybe it would be the push he needed to finally chase his own pleasure.

****

It wasn’t.

He woke to you suckling at his neck, your arm thrown around his waist from behind, fingers toying with the waistband of his trousers.

His head was pounding when he woke, and with just one eye half open, he turned into you, a big dumb smile pulling at his lips.

His lips felt dry so without even thinking he licked them, tasting you immediately and groaning.

‘You taste incredible, you know that?’ he croaked, your fingers now working on the button of his fly.

Holland had absolutely no recollection of how last night ended. He could taste you, sure, but he barely remembered how he’d ended up in bed with you this time. He was a detective after all, though, and what kind of lousy detective would wake up with their lover wrapped around them, fingers teasing at their belly, their taste fresh on his lips, and not put together that he must have spent some time downtown? 

And you did taste delicious. Fuck, he really wished he could smell you.

He wanted you. He needed you. Since the moment you’d laid eyes on one another. And right now, he was so thankful to wake up with you already trying to satisfy him despite what a mess he probably looked. And yet, as usual, he couldn’t perform. 

‘Wait-’ he breathed, hand flying down to wrap around your wrist and gently ease you out of his trousers before you actually felt how soft he was.

‘What’s wrong, baby?’

Holland’s eyes snapped shut, his hand dropping yours to press his fingers into his eyelids instead.

He knew this would be it. 

‘I- I can’t-’ he tried, gesturing vaguely to his cock. ‘It’s not your fault. I just- I can’t-’

He cut himself off with a dramatic, choked out sob, and scrambled for a cigarette on the nightstand. There was only an empty packet and he dropped himself back onto the bed, whimpering, shoulders shaking as tears began to roll down his cheeks.

‘Fuck! I’m pathetic, I’m-’

He felt the mattress bounce as you moved away and whimpered, knowing he’d likely never see you again.

He did, though. A split second later when you sat cross legged beside him and popped a cigarette between his lips, offering a light, which he gratefully accepted.

The first inhale relaxed him more than he could comprehend, and he shuffled up to sit against the headboard, trying to steady his breathing.

‘Thank you,’ he said huskily. He meant it as gratitude for not leaving, but you handing him a cigarette masked thay enough for him not to feel more pathetic than he already did.

You placed a hand on his thigh. It wasn’t suggestive of anything other than comfort, and he appreciated that.

‘Take your time, ok?’

His brow furrowed, but he nodded anyway. Why would you wait for him?

‘Besides, when you eat me out like that, I’m hardly in a rush,’ you smiled, playfully.

Holland managed a small smile at that too.

‘That’s the March Magic,’ he muttered.

‘Oh, so that’s what you call it?’

‘Call what?’

‘Shotgun kissing my-’ you pointed between your legs.

‘I did what?!’

‘You don’t remember? Jesus. It was good, anyway. You’re good, March. And I’m sure when you’re ready, your cock will be just as delicious.’ 

He turned weak at your choice of words, turning temporarily dizzy as you absentmindedly licked your lips.

‘Wanna kiss me? Just kissing. Nothing else this time, ok?’

He whined and nodded again, leaning forward to enjoy the most tender kiss he could remember since- well. For a while.

You could taste yourself on him, but not for long as your mouth filled with his second hand smoke and you choked a little. You kept your lips pressed to his, though, tongues sliding together sweetly, with no expectations beyond this simple affection.

You felt your own cheeks grow damp and knew he was crying again. But you didn’t stop. He needed this, you realised, and you were more than willing to give him whatever he needed right now.

‘March,’ you whispered when you eventually pulled back for breath.

‘Mmh?’

‘How about you get yourself cleaned up while I run out to grab us some lunch? I can run you a bath?’

‘Yeah,’ he sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. ‘Yeah that would be really fucking good actually.’

****

‘That one’s a keeper.’

‘Huh?’ March was trying to get to sleep, but his mind was whirring with thoughts of how you’d cared for him today.

How you’d washed his hair after he sunk into the warm water, covered by bubbles, laid him some fresh clothes out for him, shared a nice lunch together, and spent the afternoon watching a movie and laughing and kissing. 

He hadn’t thought about his little problem all night, and you were to thank for that. 

He was pretty sure he was falling in love actually, and his thoughts were so occupied with the joy and despair that came along with that old, familiar feeling reigniting inside him, that he couldn’t fall asleep. The fact that he’d barely drank a thing today probably contributed to that too.

Maybe he should-

‘Don’t even think about it.’

That voice again. Who the fuck-

Holland turned, frowning to find his old pal, Bumble wedged right between you and him, hogging the covers.

‘Bumble. What do you want?’

Bumble took a long drag of his cigarette. 

‘Listen, I’m telling you — that one’s a keeper.’

‘Yeah, that’s what I’ve been stuck on. You really think so?’

‘You can’t even fuck and you’ve got room service and cigarettes being lit for you and kisses on tap. Yeah I think so.’

‘That’s not why I lov- I mean-’

Bumble chuckled. Holland frowned.

‘You worked the March Magic, huh?’

‘How do you know about- what? No. I mean. I- yeah but that’s not-’

‘Look, March, when killer bees fuck, the bee with the dick usually dies. You get to cum and live to tell the tale! You’ll be fine. You just gotta relax.’

Holland felt hazy. This was almost too much information to take in. But he remembered the relaxing part. ‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah. Just take it easy. Your dick’ll be hard in no time. Night.’ 

‘Night, Bumble. Thanks for the pep talk.’

Holland yawned, and Bumble was gone.

****

Holland shifted in the warmth of the morning light. Something was off.

He stretched his legs and rolled onto his back to look at you, see if you were awake yet, see if he could figure out why he felt kind of… weird.

You were sleeping soundly beside him, your arm still draped over his middle beneath the sheets. Nothing unusual there, over the last couple of months you’d come to stay over with him more nights than not when he wasn’t working a case, and even then he’d sometimes find you in his bed when he returned home, and thanks to this he’d actually slept in his bed instead of finding a spot somewhere he felt safe. You’d made bed safe. You’d made him feel safe.

He smiled at the thought, and tried to shift his focus onto this feeling he was trying to place. It must be early – he’d not woken up before 10am for as long as he could remember and the clock on the dresser said 08:07.

He propped himself up to take a look around the room and actually screamed when he saw the huge tent formed in the sheets between his legs.

Jaw dropping, Holland fell back onto his pillow, muttering wildly, ‘Am I dreaming? Jesus, am I actually hard? Is this real?!’ 

He poised his thumb and forefinger over his other forearm and laughed, loudly and heartily, pinching his arm so hard he hurt himself and let out a little yelp mid giggle. It was real! He was awake, and he was hard.

Head spinning, Holland called your name in an excited whisper at first, turning himself to lay face to face with you and careful not to accidentally prod you with his raging hard on. What a nice problem to have to worry about! He let out a little, ‘Ha!’ at the thought.

He called your name again, louder this time, gently gripping your shoulder in sheer excitement. He hadn’t even considered yet that you’d want to actually do anything with his boner. He was just so thrilled that his dick still worked, he wanted to share it with the whole world. There was even a fleeting moment that he considered calling Healy, but he shook the thought from his head and tried to focus.

When your eyes blinked open, although taken aback that he was awake before you, you automatically smiled at his gleeful face and leant forward to kiss him, but in the buzz of excitement, he completely missed his cue and rolled away to demonstrate the tent in the sheets once again.

‘Look! It works! Ha! It really works!’

‘Jesus…’ you breathed, propping yourself up to get a good look at the size of him. ‘Holland… that’s so great, baby, I knew you could do it!’

‘It’s all thanks to Bumble!’ he smiled like an idiot. You didn’t ask.

Giddy, you sang out his little mantra; ‘March, March, he’s our man! If he can’t do it no one can! Maaaarch-mmh!’

His lips joined with yours then, cutting you off until he pulled back to get another look at the magnificent sight of his dick in full working order.

‘Holland…’ you started, and he hummed in your direction. ‘May I… touch you?’

All of the breath seemed to exit his body like a juice box being crushed underfoot. He wheezed out a, ‘Yes- please!’ followed by a slightly more coherent, ‘Touch- lick- anything. Go nuts!’

You slipped your hand back to his stomach, gradually pushing lower until you reached the waistband of his pyjamas (another new development; he wasn’t sleeping in his suits nearly as much these days).

‘Holland, are you sure you’re ready?’

‘I’ve been ready for months,’ he sighed, ‘it’s just a shame my schwanz has taken this long to catch up. Listen, I-’

‘It’s alright,’ you stopped him, feeling his body tense up, knowing where his thoughts were going. ‘I know it might be… quick. I don’t mind. Actually it’s kind of hot…’

Holland relaxed. Jesus, why did you have to be so understanding – and in such a sexy way? It was jarring. It felt nice. It made him fall for you all the more, and knew then that Bumble had been right about you. Holland had no intention of losing you.

Your fingers ghosted over his tip, and your palm slid down to feel out the length of him before you wrapped your fingers carefully around the base and pumped slowly. You planned to learn his body like he was learning yours, to memorise every response your touch elicited, know every trick in the book to drive him wild.

You glanced up from the hypnotising view of your hand stroking him beneath the sheets to see his face already slack with pleasure, mouth agape and eyes shut in bliss. Jesus, he was receptive. Delicious.

You moved your hand up to swipe your thumb over the tip, and discovered that not only did it cause his hips to buck, but there was already a thick bead of precum waiting for you there. 

He was moaning almost nonstop at this point. Your fist moved faster and Holland began to writhe. Actually writhe beneath you – legs trembling, toes curling, didn’t have a clue what to do with his limbs, or his hands; other than try and grasp at the bedding.

‘Jesus! F-fuck! Oh!’ he cried, loud and desperate, and you were so tempted to bring him off like this, to pump him furiously until he stained the sheets, but equally you craved more.

You wouldn’t ever say this to him, but the thought wouldn’t leave you alone; what if he couldn’t get it up again for a good couple of months and you’d passed up the chance to taste him when it was given so beautifully to you? No. You had to grasp this opportunity with both hands. Or, as the case may be, with one hand and your mouth.

Keeping your movements steady, you shuffled down, pushing the covers lower, too, and got your first proper look at his hard cock. It was quite the sight; as long and thick as it felt, handsome, steadily leaking – fit to burst actually. 

You wasted no more time, carefully kissing his tip first, slowing your hand a little to test the waters without overwhelming him, and he whimpered so prettily you almost lost composure.

As your lips wrapped around his tip and you sank down lower, sucking, swirling your tongue, keeping your hand pumping fast where he wouldn’t fit, you suddenly felt bitter heat coating your tongue.

Not just coating your tongue, filling your mouth. You did your best to keep going, to suck and lap and massage him through his peak, but it wasn’t just his drawn out screech of pleasure that was distracting you, it was the amount of cum he was still spilling all the while. Despite swallowing down what you could of the never ending hot rope, choking a little on the sheer volume, it still dribbled out past your lips, dripping onto his legs and stomach and the surrounding sheets that he was balling into tight fists.

When you emerged from the mess to crawl up over him and check he was doing ok, you were faced with the most blissed out, fucked out, sated, dumb smile you’d ever seen on his handsome face. He’s never looked more peaceful, and, as much as your core was throbbing after what you’d just done, you wanted more than anything to let him rest.

So you did. You settled on his chest, not caring about the stickiness drying between your flush bodies or around your lips, and listened to his heart, steady in his chest.

‘Fuck,’ he whispered after a long pause. ‘That was- fuck…’

You smiled to yourself, sure that after so long, anything he could get would have felt incredible, but you still took a little pride in the fact that you were the one to experience it with him.

‘You want me to make breakfast?’ you offered gently.

‘I want you to be my breakfast, does that count?’ he smirked.

‘No, Holland, I just want you to enjoy the moment. Don’t worry about me.’

‘Oh, I’m not worried.’

Holland shifted beneath you and you felt the beginnings of another erection stiffening his cock.

Your eyes widened as his opened, and your gazes locked.

‘You fixed it.’

‘Holland, please,’ you laughed. ‘I did not fix your dick.’

‘Of course you did, it’s the only explanation! Anyway, look, do you want to fix its current problem?’ His hips thrust upwards to nudge his now rock hard cock against your thigh to make sure you felt it.

‘Holland, if you’re not fucking me the March way within the next minute, I’m out of here.’

He laughed again and it occurred to you that you’d never spoken to him this early, or heard him laugh so much in a morning.

‘The March way?’ he raised an amused eyebrow at you.

‘Yeah.’

‘What’s that?’

‘I’m hoping you’re about to show me.’

And show you, he most certainly did.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey, hi, sorry if you’re the wrong person to ask this, but I figured since you’re the sex-ed witch, you’d know. what does a sex therapist actually do? are they focused more on the physical aspect (e.g helping with penetration) or the emotional side? and when would someone know to go to one?

sex therapists are therapists specialized in helping clients who have concerns about sex! Psychology Today explains it very succinctly:

Sex therapists can help both individuals and couples who have sexual problems such as premature ejaculation as well as relationship problems that interfere with their sexual activity, such as conflict over porn use. Common problems that sex therapists treat include erectile dysfunction, difficulty achieving orgasm, and painful intercourse. They are frequently called on to help those who experienced sexual abuse or trauma in their past. Sex therapists are also commonly called on to help couples who experience different levels of sexual desire.

as with any kind of therapy, the time to try it out is probably at the time you start thinking it might be beneficial to you. it never hurts to start looking for a compatible therapist and set up an appointment to discuss your concerns, get their input, and see if you click.

it's important to note that sex therapists are not helping their clients work through issues with hands-on practice; no sex therapists should be having sex with their clients. there are people who do that, some of whom sexologist Lindsey Doe describes here, but that's not the purpose of sex therapy.

[regretsofalifeandlovelost]

Male circumcision questions answered.

I get asked all the time about why I arrived at my love of circumcised penis'. You could read the entire back catalog of blog posts and see. However, I wanted to draw it out into a specific post.

I grew up in a family where circumcision was normal, that was the first type of penis that I saw, and that was normal for me. It was not until I did my nursing degree that I started being exposed to uncircumcised men. I wasn't sexually active until I was in my early 20's, so I had no direct experience sexually.

I was so self-conscious that I never self-satisfied myself, i.e., I never even masturbated. My boyfriends were both circumcised; I loved the look, and sucking them off was something that I loved to do. They never really stimulated me sexually; it was a case of me being the starfish and they fucking me until they came. I enjoyed that they could cum, but I didn't particularly enjoy sex. It wasn't uncomfortable or painful, I just felt so embarrassed about my body that I couldn't get into it.

My third partner was friends with benefits; he was so adventurous that he forced me to get into cowgirl and was teaching me about my body. I still never climaxed, but it was an important learning experience. I had the first indication of sexual enjoyment feeling his glands rubbing me internally. I met my long-term partner, the father of my two kids while enjoying the FWB. Our relationship was rocky; he appeared to want me to be more confident in my body, but I couldn't really get to that with his premature ejaculation problems. Sex would last a maximum of 2 minutes. The intimacy of our relationship never really hit any goals. Almost 20 years of that relationship until we went to a sex club, see original posts.

During my nursing degree, I worked in pediatrics and was involved in circumcising many infants. I, however, chose to specialise in aged care. It was during that time I was exposed to men who had not been circumcised and had developed chronic problems. This was particularly so when the patients had dementia. They would require so much additional care. With assistants, I would retract their foreskins after they had incontinence problems. They would regularly get infections. Many of these men would get circumcised while in care to reduce the burdens. As I moved from the palliative end of aged care into more assisted living nursing, I saw that phimosis and other foreskin ailments were so familiar. To put this into perspective, this was the age group that fought in WW2. Circumcision was probably done to around 80% of the men I cared for. The more mobile men who had problems and got circumcised universally said it was a life changer. They were always positive about it. The men who still had their life partners always talked of great feedback from their partners.

Circumcision was the done thing in our family; my partner was circumcised, and it was my personal preference that any boys we had would be circumcised. When we had a boy, we got him circumcised; others in our mother's group looked down on me and judged. I was happy with our decision. This became more apparent when, by the time most of the boys were 5-10 years old, three of the six had to be circumcised. Their mothers came to me wishing they had done it at birth because it was less traumatic.

As my long-term relationship started to fall apart, it was then that I really understood the benefits of circumcision. My first vaginal orgasm was with a tightly circumcised dick. He was circumcised as an adult, and wow. To this day, all sex is measured by how phenomenal that guy and dick were. Over the coming years, I slept with tens of men, and I only once had an uncircumcised man that has been able to make me cum vaginally. Even with really hung men who could scratch the spot, they have all ejaculated before I have even remotely gotten there. Some foreskins have been so long that they completely cover the glans even when erect. There's no enjoyment when the penis stimulates the foreskin and not the vagina.

I've now been with a man who I circumcised myself for a few months, and he absolutely loves it. Says that he would never want to go back which further builds the idea that circumcision IS best.

A few years ago, I had only slept with 5 men; now, I have slept with 80, and of those, most are shit, and I couldn't get a woman to climax if they prayed 20 times a day. The ones that could be all but one circumcised. It looks better and feels better for women. However, with any opinion, it is worth noting. A caring, circumcised lover is better than an uncaring, circumcised lover. Any good sex needs a build-up. All of my girlfriends with circumcised partners that don't climax talk about them just "stuffing it in".. guys that will never work. Foreplay is the secret, when the girl is wet she's going to be loving the glans. One aspect that I struggle with when dealing with uncircumcised penis' isn't the hygiene, that can be fixed. The arrogance of the guys who think it's okay to cum so quickly and leave women languishing. While I am sure there are circumcised men who do the same, it seems that in my experience, there's a very strong bias towards selfish lovers who are uncircumcised.

[wannab-urs]

Dad's Best Friend/Best Friend's Dad/Boyfriend's Dad fics | Vol 2

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist | Vol 1

Hi friends!!

I searched my spreadsheet for dad's best friend, best friend's dad, and boyfriend’s dad fics that I love. This is the second volume.

Summaries and tags are, in most cases, provided by the author - please be sure to read them as some of these fics may have content you do not wish to read.

Will be updated regularly

updated 1/10/2025

Dad's Best Friend

gonna make you sweat

Javi P one shot by @mypoisonedvine

he's your dad's best friend, he's a narc, he's the guy you've been calling 'tio' most of your life... so he's not the guy you want to run into when you're out partying a little too hard.

dubcon smut (18+ only; oral f receiving, unprotected sex, reader is under the influence and under duress), age gap (not specified but it's big lol but they are of course both adults), dad's best friend trope, pseudo incest (reader calls javi tio/uncle but they are not related), drug use, jealousy, unprotected sex, orgasm control, rough/aggressive sex, we're talking complete total and permanent gut rearrangement, crying during sex (from overstimulation not like, being sad), hair pulling, 'sir' kink (briefly), creampie, basically just a kinky filthy mess idk what else to say

amateur

Joel one shot by @ezrasbirdie

After a breakup, Joel invites you over to watch a football game and you arrive a little earlier than he expects. Or: Joel gets caught watching porn.

smut, fluff, age gap (reader is 24, Joel is 40), dad's best friend, a sprinkle of daddy kink, dry humping, male masturbation, Joel indulges in Internet pornography, reader wears a skirt, reader calls him Mr. Miller, use of baby girl, Joel is confused about the Internet, a smidgen of insecurity, soft Joel, bossy Joel, some very light teasing degradation, Joel likes bush

Should've Stayed Bored

Joel one shot by @pedroshotwifey

You really need to learn to lower your expectations.

Joel Miller NOT being a sex god, left flap rubbing, mention of the clit, piv sex (if you could call it that), premature ejaculation, age gap, dad's buddy!joel miller, bad make out sessions, misplaced confidence, secondhand embarrassment, crack fic

Wildest Dreams

Dave York series by @janaispunk

You meet your father’s new friend for the first time, but he’s a lot different than you expected.

explicit smut (18+ only, mdni), dbf!Dave, unhealthy relationship dynamic (reader becomes very dependent on Dave), dom/sub dynamics, angst, feelings, daddy issues, secret/forbidden relationship, corruption kink, able-bodied reader, reader has hair, no use of y/n, divorced Dave, Dave doesn’t kill people in this

Unearth

Joel one shot by @ezrasbirdie

When your normally strict parents go out of town for two weeks and leave you on your own for the first time with little warning, you're left reeling and afraid of being on your own for so long. Luckily, Joel Miller, your father's best friend, very generously offers to let you stay with him. Your long time crush on him shouldn't be a problem at all.

smut, yearning, Joel is a little manipulative, loss of virginity, dad's best friend, nice big age gap (reader is 21, Joel is 40), liberal use of baby girl, religious trauma of the Christian variety (no denomination noted), reader wears a sundress, shaming of sexuality, bad relationship with reader's parents, insecurity, flirting, trouble orgasming, pussy pronouns (she/her), humping/grinding, masturbation, unprotected PIV, oral sex, references to early 00s media, soft Joel

Whiskey Sour

Joel series by @kiwisbell

Reuniting with your estranged father while you finish college in Austin has unintended consequences. His best friend, for one.

dbf!joel being extremely criminally attractive, big ol' age gap (40s/early 20s), unprotected piv (do not follow the leader), creampie, multiple sex positions, multiple orgasms, oral sex (m and f receiving), dry humping, spitting, biting, joel miller is a MUNCH, very appropriate use of a showerhead, consensual somnophilia, yoga, heavy emphasis on payphones, daddy issues, family reunions, angst, dead mom, grief and mourning, father/daughter relationship, bartending, reader is a woman in STEM (author is not), being a student in university deserves a warning probably, attempted drugging (roofies), college boys suck, possessive sex, possessive joel, protective joel, obligatory warning for joel's salt-and-pepper hair, masturbation, wet dreams, no outbreak AU, hurt/comfort, healing, no sarah or ellie, stargazing, face-sitting, pining/yearning, happy ending

but he's the one I want

Joel one shot by @wheresarizona

All you needed was to see if your dad’s friend, Joel, had a spare key to your father’s house. Instead, you get railed within an inch of your life on Joel’s couch.

DBF!Joel Miller, slightly possessive Joel Miller, pre-Outbreak, age gap, explicit consent, unprotected p in v (wrap it up!), creampie, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, dirty talk, size kink, praise kink, spit as lube, overstimulation, sex on stairs, body worship, slight body insecurity, getting caught, misunderstandings, angst with a happy ending, Die Hard is a Christmas movie debate)

Me on You

Joel one shot by @luxurychristmaspudding

after a night out dancing and a lift home turns into something more, you learn something about your dad's buddy.

it's smut, y'all. everything you've come to expect. respectable age gap (10 years ish), tiny bit of spanking, one (1) gentle pussy slap, lil bit of daddy kink, joel miller eats it from the back (oral (f&m)), edging, unprotected piv (do better), creampie, feelings, joel miller's whore mouth.

Boyfriend's Dad

Prima Nocta

Marcus Acacius one shot by @fuckyeahdindjarin

Tomorrow, you will marry your husband-to-be. But tonight - it belongs to his father.

DUB CON only due to nature of prima nocta, both parties enthusiastically consent, twist on prima nocta, unspecified age gap, loss of virginity, dirty talk, oral sex (F receiving), fingering, dry humping, unprotected sex, unrealistic descriptions of first sexual experience, all manners of historical inaccuracies and linguistic anachronisms sorry not sorry, ignores the events of the movie so you can consider this an AU, Marcus is widowed and has a son, shall we call this bfd: Ancient Rome version lmao

That's the way road dogs do it

Joel series by @joelsdagger

on a night out with friends, you run into someone from your past.

[no-outbreak au], big girthy age gap [reader is in her 20’s, joel is 50’s], alcohol consumption, allusions to cheating [not by joel or reader], no sarah or ellie but joel has a son, joel has tattoos and is a biker, pet names [darlin’, baby, kiddo], sexualization of the term kiddo [from the deepest darkest pits of my soul…idfc], a little bit of humiliation, panty sniffing, a teensy bit of fingering, a little manhandling, pervy!joel [he’s also a little fucked up and really unhinged but so am i so whateva], pussy pronouns, dirty talk [umm it gets weird lol], daddy kink, degradation, semi-public sex, rough unprotected p in v sex, mirror sex, hair pulling, dubcon [joel takes pictures of her that she doesn’t verbally consent to], smidgen of angst [ofc bc it’s me], creampie, body marking/writing [use of a pen], soft!joel, reader wears a skirt, has hair, wears makeup, and has two tattoos that are described within the story

[filthforfriends]

Pre-San Remo interview so wild that I have to routinely hunt whatever version YouTube hasn't removed for copy right infringement to convince myself if actually happened.

Here are the highlights paraphrased:

Do you sleep with a different person every day? D: No. Every week? D: No. Man, women, or both? D: Women.

Have you ever been in a relationship with a much younger woman? D: No, "much younger than me" is what? Kindergarten?

Have you ever been in a relationship with a much older girl? D: Yes. From 18 to 34...is 16 years (of age difference).

Have you ever experienced or been subjected to sexual harassment in a musical environment? V: Hmm, no.

Have you ever been aware of sexual blackmail in your environment? V: Of people close to me that I know directly, no.

If it happened, what would you do? V: I'd try to comfort the person that had suffered harassment and I'd try to encourage them to report the facts and to talk about it.

Do people catcall you? V: Yes. Does it bother you? V: Yes, it's annoying. Can it be considered on par with harassment? V: Yes. Obviously, its psychological and verbal harassment, not physical. However, that does not make it any less serious.

Have you ever told off a persistent fan? D: Not because of his persistence...Once, when we were playing there weren't barriers. Victoria bent over and a guy had the friendly idea of touching her butt.

What did you do? D: I told him a few things. Not good things.

Who spends more on porn? T: We don't need those sites. D: Ethan! V: Ethan! E: I don't know why I feel like the others said my name. Am I wrong? Anyways, it's not me.

And are you in favor of legalizing prostitution? All: Yes.

Do you have a girlfriend in common? D: Not that I know of. T: Absolutely not. E: God, what a weird question.

And a boyfriend? D: Neither. T: No.

Have you ever thought about the fact that sooner or later you could disband? T: There is so much chemistry that no. E: No, never wanted to think about it.

Have you ever thought of leaving the band to become a soloist? D: Absolutely not.

Is being in the shadow the fate of musicians who are not frontmen? E: No. T: No. I'm also a guitarist so I don't have this problem.

Aren't you envious of John Lennon and Paul McCartney? T: Absolutely not. E: No, it's just self-destructive.

Have you ever taken psychedelic drugs or sedatives? All: No.

Pro legalization of soft drugs? All: Yes.

Voluntary euthanasia? All: Yes.

Who smokes more weed? T: I don't know. D: Me. V: Damiano E: Damiano.

How many cigarettes do you smoke per day? D: 5-10.

Cialis or Viagra? D: None. Misfire (premature ejaculation), it happens to everyone. What do you do when it happens to you? D: Wait a quarter of an hour.

How many hours do you spend making love? D: It depends on the week. And masturbating? D: Not many (times).

Are you in a relationship? D: I won't tell you that. Then tell us if you cohabitate. D: I live alone.

To win your affection, how much does it count (on a scale) from 1-10? Buy you dinner? V: Zero. Have a six pack? V: Zero. Have intelligence? V: Seven. Have a nice ass? V: Seven. Have a beautiful smile? V: Eight.

Have you ever had mutual attraction with a celebrity? V: Yes.

Do you receive interest even from women? V: Yes. Have you ever had a fling with a girl? V: Yes. How did it go? V: Good!

Do you get advances even from boys? D: It's happened.

Does it bother you if people think you're gay? D: Absolutely not.

Who hooks up the most? T: Depends on the moment. E: None. V: Ethan. D: Ethan.

Do you sleep together? V: All four, it's too much. D: Two by Two. T: It's happened. E: Me and Thomas sleep together when we have to split the group in two parts.

Do you support yourself by music or do you still get pocket money? D: I've able to support myself through music.

Has your family ever struggled to make ends meet? D: No, we are an average family.

Have you ever got a panic attack before a concert? E: No. T: Never. D: Not before a concert. V: Yes, it was awful. I tried to calm down and the guys helped me distract myself.

Have you ever been to a psychologist? T: No. E: No. V: Yes. D: Yes. How long? D: I'm still In therapy.

The most short tempered? D: Me. V: Me. E: Damiano. T: Sometimes me.

The most vain? E: Victoria at the beginning (of the band). T: All four. V: Damiano. D: I think myself.

And now do you always wear a mask? V: Yes, of course.

Will you vaccinate? All: Yes.

Source: X X X

[findiadwir]

What is Premature Ejaculation and How to Cope?

Premature ejaculation (PE) is a common sexual problem where a man ejaculates sooner than he or his partner would like during sexual intercourse. It’s often a source of anxiety and can impact a man’s self-esteem and relationship.

What causes PE?

Psychological factors: stress, anxiety, performance anxiety

Physical factors: hormonal imbalances, neurological disorders, medications

Other factors: history of sexual abuse, relationship issues

How to cope with PE?

Talk to your partner: Open communication can help alleviate stress and improve your relationship.

Seek professional help: A therapist can provide strategies to manage anxiety and improve sexual function.

Lifestyle changes: Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and adequate sleep can improve overall well-being.

Medical treatments: In some cases, medications or other treatments may be necessary.

Remember, you’re not alone. Many men experience PE, and there are effective treatments available.

[ao3feed-matchablossom]

To the Edge

by Ramona (miss_heathen) Kojiro has a problem. He comes too fast. Kaoru proposes an idea to fix that: a little game called edging. Words: 6481, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 1 of Kinktober 2024 Fandoms: SK8 the Infinity (Anime) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Nanjo Kojiro | Joe, Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom Relationships: Nanjo Kojiro | Joe/Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom Additional Tags: Kinktober 2024, Smut, Orgasm Edging, Edging, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Anal Sex, Anal, Oral Sex, Fluff and Smut, Cowgirl Position, Premature Ejaculation source https://archiveofourown.org/works/59386069

[dhr-ao3]

Wet

Wet https://ift.tt/osXYW82 by SerenitySaturn Draco finds himself stuck in a closet with Granger. She accidentally pees on him, and he accidentally cums on her... Um, how??? There's not enough Omorashi/Desperation Dramione out there and so I've decided to help remedy that problem! I know not everyone is into this, and that's fine. This one is specifically for those of you who are ;) Words: 2101, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/M Characters: Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy Additional Tags: Explicit Sexual Content, Pining, Mutual Pining, Pining Draco Malfoy, Hogwarts, Omorashi, Watersports, Piss kink, Trapped In A Closet, Trapped, Desperation, Humiliation, Orgasm, Premature Ejaculation, Clothed Sex via AO3 works tagged 'Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy' https://ift.tt/x6wNPsB August 25, 2024 at 01:11PM

[gautamayurveda2]

In today's world, discussing our intimate concerns openly is recognized as crucial for maintaining overall well-being. This is where sexologists play a pivotal role. These professionals specialize in addressing a wide range of sexual health issues, providing individuals with a safe space to express their concerns and seek guidance. When it comes to finding the best sexologist in Delhi, individuals can benefit from the expertise of renowned professionals who have dedicated their careers to understanding and resolving sexual health issues. Seeking the assistance of the best sexologist in India ensures access to comprehensive and confidential support, fostering a healthier and more informed approach to intimate well-being.

What is a Sexologist?

A sexologist is a trained professional in the field of sexology, a discipline that focuses on understanding and addressing human sexuality. These experts work with individuals and couples, employing a holistic approach to tackle a wide range of sexual concerns. Unlike other medical practitioners, sexologists go beyond the physical aspects of sexuality, delving into the emotional and psychological factors that influence sexual well-being.

Role of a Sexologist:

Sexologists play a multifaceted role, encompassing various aspects of sexual health. They not only diagnose and treat sexual dysfunctions such as erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation but also offer guidance on enhancing sexual pleasure, improving communication between partners, and promoting overall sexual health and wellness. A key element of their role is creating a safe and non-judgmental space for patients to openly discuss their concerns.

Qualities of a Reputable Sexologist:

When seeking the assistance of a sexologist, certain qualities are paramount:

Trustworthiness and Confidentiality: Trust is the foundation of any therapeutic relationship, especially when discussing intimate concerns. Reputable sexologists prioritize strict confidentiality, adhering to ethical guidelines to ensure the privacy of personal information and discussions.

Open Communication: An effective sexologist encourages open communication, allowing patients to express their concerns, questions, and expectations. This fosters a collaborative approach to treatment.

Sensitivity and Empathy: Given the sensitive nature of sexual health issues, a good sexologist demonstrates empathy and sensitivity. They understand the vulnerabilities associated with these concerns and approach their patients with compassion.

Importance of Sexologists:

The importance of sexologists in 2024 cannot be overstated. In a world where sexual health is an integral component of overall well-being, these professionals contribute significantly to individual and relational flourishing. By addressing both the physical and psychological aspects of sexuality, sexologists help people lead healthier and more fulfilling lives.

Problems a Sexologist Can Help You Overcome:

Erectile Dysfunction (ED): Erectile dysfunction refers to the inability to achieve or maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse. A sexologist can diagnose the underlying causes of ED and recommend appropriate treatment options, such as medication, lifestyle changes, or counseling.

Premature Ejaculation (PE): Premature ejaculation is characterized by the inability to control or delay ejaculation. A sexologist can provide techniques and strategies to manage PE, such as behavioral exercises, desensitization techniques, or medication if necessary.

Low Libido: Low libido, or a persistent lack of sexual desire, can have various causes, including hormonal imbalances, stress, relationship issues, or certain medications. A sexologist can help identify the underlying factors and suggest interventions to restore sexual desire.

Sexual Pain Disorders: Conditions such as dyspareunia (painful intercourse) or vaginismus (involuntary vaginal muscle spasms) can significantly impact sexual satisfaction. A sexologist can evaluate the causes of sexual pain and recommend treatments, including physical therapy, counseling, or medical interventions.

LGBTQ+ Sexual Health: Sexologists play a crucial role in providing support and guidance to individuals within the LGBTQ+ community. They can address unique concerns related to sexual orientation, gender identity, coming out, and navigating relationships.

In conclusion, the field of sexology and the role of sexologists in 2024 are integral to fostering healthy sexual lives. By understanding the complexities of human sexuality and offering personalized solutions, sexologists contribute significantly to individual and relational well-being. When seeking the assistance of a sexologist, it's essential to prioritize qualities such as trust, open communication, and empathy to ensure a positive and effective therapeutic journey. Dr. Inderjeet Singh Gautam is one of the top sexologist in Delhi, you can consult with him for any sexual disorder and get well with ayurvedic treatments.

[im-sorry-about-the-ladybug]

How To Stop Quick Ejaculation And Last Longer In Bed Naturally?

Quick ejaculation or premature ejaculation is an embarrassing problem that makes a man feel like he is impotent. Moreover, How To Stop Quick Ejaculation And Last Longer In Bed Naturally? Articles males find it difficult to deal with this sexual dysfunction on their own. Furthermore, it is a disorder that affects nearly every male at least once in his lifetime. Nevertheless, seeking for a treatment becomes a responsibility when a male is suffering from recurrent ejaculation problems, because recurrent occurrence of premature ejaculation can interfere with the sexual find out more here pleasure of the both the partners. Besides, there are several things that can affect the ejaculatory system of males. On the other hand, premature ejaculation is considered as one of the leading causes for unsatisfactory marital relationships. In addition, this sexual dysfunction can negatively affect the self-esteem of the suffering individuals.

Nevertheless, experts consider that there are no exact causes for ejaculation problems, and psychological issues are more responsible for causing quick ejaculation. However, several experts also believe that, this sexual dysfunction involves a complex interaction of both physiological and psychological issues. Nonetheless, there are two different kinds of this sexual dysfunction, primary and secondary premature ejaculation. Firstly, in cases of primary premature ejaculation, suffering male is experiencing ejaculation problems as soon as he had started his sexual life. Secondly, secondary premature ejaculation occurs in later stages of life, due to several physical and psychological issues.

However, any male suffering from below mentioned psychological problems might suffer from ejaculation problems also.

1. Emotional stress plays an important role in raising ejaculation problems. Moreover, any individual who is suffering from stress and anxiety would experience premature ejaculation. In particular, performance anxiety is a disorder which occurs when an individual is about to perform in bed. And, most of the individuals ejaculate prematurely, due to performance anxiety.

2. Any fear related to intimacy can force a male to ejaculate seminal fluid quickly. Moreover, it is considered that such fear is caused due to some childhood problems. Nevertheless, in most of the cases, fear to intimacy resolves with time and, without any treatment.

3. Biological disturbances are also considered equally responsible for quick ejaculation problem. Moreover, hormonal imbalance affects the functioning of reproductive system. Furthermore, lack of hormones or excess production of hormones can impair the functioning of ejaculatory system. However, disturbed level of hormones is also responsible for arising several other sexual dysfunctions, for example erectile dysfunction.

4. Weakness of reproductive organs interferes with the reflex actions of the ejaculatory mechanism. And, due to improper reflex actions, the ejaculatory system either ejaculates seminal fluid prematurely or do not ejaculate at all. Moreover, it is a sexual dysfunction that causes retrograde ejaculation. Furthermore, retrograde ejaculation is a problem in which seminal fluid enters the prostate gland instead of ejaculating outside the body.

5. Any underlying medical conditions are also responsible for causing quick ejaculation during lovemaking activities. For example, prostatitis is a health condition that interferes with the functioning of reproductive system.

6. Certain medications might interfere with the functioning of reproductive organs, due to which problem of quick ejaculation may occur.

[boyslit]

What can I say? I love dumb pathetic men. :) You may remember Regin from those dailies with the infuriating quiz questions...

Rating: Explicit - Minors DNI Relationships: Regin/Reader Additional Tags: Making Out, First Time Blow Jobs, Premature Ejaculation, POV Second Person, Gender-neutral Reader, morosexual reader, Dominant Reader, Facials (reader receiving), Embarrassment Summary:

You've been helping Regin try to get his paper noticed by the big-headed academics in Belobog for a while now, and despite his claims to scientific genius, you can see that he's really kind of a dumbass. This is a problem for you, because now you can't stop thinking about how hot he is. Reader only referred to as 'you' (second-person perspective), no genitalia or features mentioned.

[laurenjdx]

Early Ejaculation Treatment: At long last Fulfill Your Partner

It is truly challenging to find an early ejaculation treatment in the event that you are curious visit site here about the primary driver of premature ejaculation. Various strategies are accessible for various reasons of premature ejaculation.

First attempt to find out the principal problem that you're having. In the event that you find the fundamental reason, relieving premature ejaculation will be simple. Presently the inquiry is the means by which to find out primary driver of premature ejaculation.

A little mindfulness and sex schooling can help you to find out the principal reason of premature ejaculation. Feel free to a healthy discussion with your primary care physician. He will help you to decide the primary driver of premature ejaculation.

It's obviously true that a healthy relationship is conceivable only on the off chance that you can have great sex. However, here the matter isn't about great sex, fulfilling your partner is likewise essential.

On the off chance that you are experiencing premature ejaculation, it is very outside the realm of possibilities for you to fulfill your partner. The problem is exceptionally normal for men. Almost all men experience the ill effects of the problem of premature ejaculation once in their life.

On the off chance that you are experiencing same problem, you don't need to stress over anything by any means. Your principal center ought to be early ejaculation treatment.

Premature ejaculation can have various reasons. The reason might be pressure or extreme excitement. Apprehension, less than stellar eating routine and bitterness can likewise be the reason for premature ejaculation.

Presently we will examine some effective early ejaculation treatment that will absolutely help you to defeat the problem. One of the most effective strategies is balance your brain and body.

You need to take no clinical treatment for keeping up with legitimate equilibrium. Create your focal sensory system sufficient that you have some control over your apprehension. Continuously have intercourse with your partner certainly. Certainty can extraordinarily help you in controlling sperm in your penis for quite a while.

Practice is likewise an effective early ejaculation treatment. Standard activity helps to keep up with your endurance. You will find durable improvement in ninety days or less. You can engage in sexual relations even 45 minutes by appropriate treatment.

[raipilesclinic01]

Expert Sexologist in Navi Mumbai – Personalized Solutions for a Healthy Intimate Life

Understanding Sexual Health and Its Importance

Sexual health is a vital part of overall well-being, yet many individuals hesitate to seek professional help due to stigma or lack of awareness. Addressing concerns related to sexual health is crucial for maintaining a fulfilling and confident life. At Rai Piles Clinic, we provide expert guidance and treatment for various sexual health issues with complete confidentiality and professionalism. If you're experiencing any challenges, consulting a qualified Sexologist in Navi Mumbai can help you regain confidence and improve your intimate wellness.

Common Sexual Health Issues

Many individuals, both men and women, experience sexual health concerns at some point in their lives. These issues can arise due to physical, psychological, or lifestyle factors. Some of the most common problems include:

1. Erectile Dysfunction (ED)

Erectile dysfunction is a common issue where men struggle to achieve or maintain an erection. This can be caused by stress, anxiety, medical conditions, or lifestyle habits. Professional treatment and counseling can help manage and overcome ED.

2. Premature Ejaculation

This condition affects men who ejaculate earlier than they or their partners desire. It can lead to stress and dissatisfaction in relationships. Through medical and psychological interventions, premature ejaculation can be effectively treated.

3. Low Libido

A decrease in sexual desire can be distressing and may result from hormonal imbalances, stress, or underlying medical conditions. Identifying the root cause and seeking the right treatment can help restore a healthy sex drive.

4. Female Sexual Dysfunction

Women may also face issues such as painful intercourse, lack of arousal, or difficulties in achieving orgasm. A proper diagnosis and treatment plan can improve overall sexual well-being.

5. Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs)

STIs can have serious health consequences if left untreated. Regular check-ups and timely treatment can prevent complications and ensure a healthy sexual life.

Why Choose Rai Piles Clinic?

Rai Piles Clinic is a trusted healthcare center specializing in sexual health treatments. Our experienced professionals offer:

Confidential Consultations: Your privacy is our priority. All discussions and treatments remain strictly confidential.

Personalized Treatment Plans: We assess each individual’s condition thoroughly to provide the best-suited treatment.

Advanced Medical Approaches: We use modern and proven medical techniques for effective results.

Holistic Healing: Our approach includes psychological counseling, lifestyle modifications, and medical treatments to ensure overall well-being.

When Should You Visit a Sexologist in Navi Mumbai?

If you experience persistent issues affecting your sexual health, it’s essential to seek professional advice. Some signs that indicate the need for a consultation include:

Ongoing sexual performance issues

Lack of interest in intimacy

Pain or discomfort during intercourse

Relationship problems due to sexual health concerns

Ignoring these issues can lead to emotional distress and strained relationships. Seeking timely medical help can make a significant difference in your personal and emotional life.

Treatment Options Available

At Rai Piles Clinic, we provide a range of treatment options tailored to individual needs, including:

Medication: Prescription medicines can help in cases like erectile dysfunction or hormonal imbalances.

Therapies: Psychological counseling and sex therapy can address mental and emotional barriers affecting intimacy.

Lifestyle Modifications: Improving diet, exercise, and stress management can enhance sexual health naturally.

Medical Procedures: In some cases, advanced medical treatments may be recommended for optimal results.

Conclusion

Sexual health is an essential part of life, and seeking expert guidance can help you overcome any challenges you may be facing. At Rai Piles Clinic, we are dedicated to providing effective, discreet, and professional care for all your sexual health concerns. If you're looking for a trusted Sexologist in Navi Mumbai, contact us today for a confidential consultation and take the first step towards a healthier and more fulfilling intimate life.

[drimrankhansexologist]

Premature Ejaculation Explained – How to Last Longer Naturally

Premature ejaculation (PE) is a familiar problem that many men face, causing them annoyance and loss of confidence. It is a condition in which a man ejaculates sooner than wanted during sexual activity, often a minute or less after he starts. Even though PE can be a result of psychological or physical causes, the great news is that natural ways can be used to control it and increase stamina.

Causes of Premature Ejaculation

Getting rid of premature ejaculation is possible once you uncover why it occurs. The following are some common reasons for premature ejaculation:

Psychological factors – Anxiety, stress, depression, and relationship issues

Hormonal imbalances – Low serotonin levels may affect ejaculation control.

Nerve sensitivity – Too much penis sensitivity can lead to premature ejaculation

Pelvic muscle weakness – The weak pelvic floor muscles cause a lack of control.

Excessive masturbation – Hyperstimulation in chronic cases could result in fast ejaculation.

Let us now move forward and check out the natural methods to last longer in bed.

How to Naturally Last Longer

1. Start-Stop Technique

This technique consists of stimulating yourself (or being stimulated by your partner) until you almost reach the point of ejaculation, then momentarily stopping, resuming almost immediately, and repeating this process. Incrementally increasing the duration of the stopping time will help your long-term stamina.

2. Squeeze Technique

This involves applying mild pressure on the tip of the penis for a few seconds prior to ejaculation in order to bring down arousal. This could help a person gain better control and prolong his climax.

3. Strengthen Your Pelvic Floor Muscles

Kegel exercises help strengthen the pubococcygeus (PC) muscles, which help control orgasmic release. Contract the muscles as if you were trying to stop urinating, hold them for a few seconds, and then relax. Keep doing this every day, and your endurance will improve.

4. Take Deep Breaths

When a person breathes shallowly, stimulation increases, and quick ejaculation occurs. Conversely, slow, deep breathing calms the body and delays ejaculation during sexual intercourse. 

5. Reduce Sensitivity by All Means

If you have high sensitivity, consider using: 

Thicker condoms

Natural numbing creams (such as aloe vera or lidocaine-free alternatives)

Slow thrusting for delayed stimulation

6. Keep a Healthy Lifestyle

A healthy body and mind make a lot of difference when it comes to sexual performance. Excelling in these aspects will further enhance stamina.

Final Thoughts

Premature ejaculation is a problem that can be treated, and natural methods can do wonders for the situation. You can work to improve your control as well as your pelvic muscle strength with natural means while grooming a healthy lifestyle to improve your stamina and confidence in bed.