#Posting here because Tumblr is where I feel the most invisible lol (which in this case is a good thing)

[alltimefail]

Depression really is so stupid because you can be fine, doing better than you have been even, and then WHAM the dreaded drop. Feels a bit unfair actually

[isabelawritesthings]

The Lost Potential of Quinn Fabray's Sexuality on Glee: An analysis

(I personally don't know if people still talk about Glee in 2024 considering the fact that this series ended more than eight years ago but watching it for the first time and reading some posts here on Tumblr I was intrigued by the lack of exploration of Quinn's sexuality in Glee, and I decided to do an analysis about this lost potential and what I would change in her story.)

When it comes to saying that Quinn could very well be a lesbian or even bisexual, many argue that Quinn is the most straight character in the entire glee club, the highly Christian "Miss Perfect" who ended up getting pregnant by her boyfriend's best friend and cheating on every guy she dated, but saying that she is romantically and sexually active with men doesn't mean that she is totally straight (I mean, Santana dated Puck, Sam and slept with Finn, yet came out as a lesbian in season three) Brittany was also a fan of sex with men but ended up marrying a woman, and it's not as if many lesbians and gays in real life hadn't dated someone of the opposite sex before discovering their sexual and romantic orientation.

Santana: I think I know how to make you feel better.

Quinn: I'm flattered Santana, but I'm really not into that.

Glee, 2x22 (New York)

Quinn says she's not "into that", however, doesn't mind sleeping with Santana two seasons later, even claiming she was just "experimenting".

We can't forget the relationship she had with Rachel, which was quite queer coded. It would be funny to see the girl who has dated several boys end up with a girl. "But the show already has too much representation with Brittana and Klaine" Hmm, and since when has too much representation been a problem? The LGBTQ community spent years being seen as invisible in series and films, a study in 2009, the same year Glee was released, revealed that only 3% of television series at that time had gay, lesbian or bisexual representation, and even though our situation is better than it was twenty years ago, for example, let's not forget that we are technically criminals in 73 countries. Take the She-Ra reboot for example, which has two sapphic couples with their own stories, too much representation will never be an issue.

What Quinn needed was a female writer, so that the whole story of wanting to be with Beth but not being able to or deciding to become a punk in season 3 could be explored more and not forgotten in the middle of romantic songs and Rachel Berry's exaggerated protagonism (even though Glee is limited to that lol). I don't think I'll ever forgive Ryan Murphy and Lea Michelle for being so arrogant and fighting with Dianna Agron to the point where Quinn was practically replaced by Kitty (I swear, I watched Glee at least two times but I can't remember any scene from season five where Quinn appeared) She appears in the sixth season because it is the last one and it would be fair for the original formation of the glee club to appear (if it weren't for that, Ryan would probably invent that Quinn went to live in another country or simply forget about her).

Quinn's story pretty much ends in season four, after which she barely appears.

What I would change

In the third season, instead of her becoming a punk, why not have her just come out of the closet? Quinn may be confused in the beginning because she's never felt this way about girls before and is paying "too much attention" to the other cheerios and may even ask Santana for advice on how to deal with these feelings, since Santana herself comes out as a lesbian in the same season. She could be lesbian, bisexual, pansexual or she doesn't even need labels, she could just like girls.

I would still keep that drama involving Beth because Quinn clearly didn't give her up for adoption because she wanted to, just because she had no choice, but maybe a girlfriend would make her see that Beth is better off with Shelby. The girlfriend could be a girl from the Cheerios, since Quinn has always considered them family, maybe a sweet and slightly naive girl like Marley to give more "light" to the cold and provocative Quinn Fabray.

In the fourth, fifth and sixth season I would explore more of the romance between the two and even perhaps some religious guilt on Quinn's part (let's not forget that she is supposed to be highly Christian) and at the end of the series she and this girlfriend can get married like Brittana and even adopt a child, I know that one child does not replace another, but here at least Quinn will maintain her desire to be a mother.

[teecupangel]

Submitted by @saberamane

Saw this artwork by astarcis and my mind immediately went ‘what would the ancestors do if they found this, and it was actually Desmond reincarnated after the eye?’ Like the various animal Desmond’s people have submitted.

Altair would probably find it fascinating, and Maria would not want it around the kids at all, it’s at least partly snake, what if it bit the children? Jokes on Maria though, the children love this strange abomination, and Desmond in kind loves kids. And with his knowledge, he’d be able to stay behind and protect Malik and Sef when the others leave to kill Genghis Khan. Give Abbas an agonizing death with his venom or something.

I feel Ezio would probably find him somewhere and take him to Leonardo. He’d maybe say something stupid to Leo like 'what kind of dog is this? I’ve never seen such a thing before.’ And Leo, bless his soul, would be like 'you can’t be that stupid Ezio. Thats not a dog. I don’t know what that is. Where did you find it?’ 'I’m going to keep him. He’s kinda cute.’ Desmond is very sweet to Maria and Claudia, which just cements Ezio’s thoughts that he is some kind of weird dog. It wags it’s tail and everything like a dog. Even if it does swallow it’s food whole…

Ratonhnhaké:ton and his tribe probably think of him as a forest spirit or something. They’d definitely know he wasn’t 'natural’ and therefore would try to honor him so as to not bring misfortune on the tribe by being disrespectful.  Desmond would hang around the temple a lot, trying to find a way to destroy Juno, or at least make it so she can’t communicate with Ratonhnhaké:ton. And Charles Lee would definitely die horribly by his poison bite before he could kill the tribe. Once Ratonhnhaké:ton was older, Desmond would probably start following him around more, leaving the temple more often. Helping with hunts and such. Of course, the tribe would then think Ratonhnhaké:ton was the 'chosen one’ or something by the spirit and would start to ask him what Desmond wanted for tribute or something lol.

(The creature is called a 'nightstalker’ from fallout new vegas, i’ve never played that series myself, but it seems to have a lot of interesting creatures from the nuclear fallout that occurred.)

Any additional thoughts or head-cannon’s?

==============

(Additions from teecup)

Well, first and foremost... don’t look at the actual nightstalker from Fallout New Vegas. They don’t... look as cute as the one above. XD

Also, here’s the tumblr post of that artwork

As for additional headcanons and thoughts:

I like to think that Desmond is one of those nightstalkers that can turn invisible and the first time he does it, everybody panicked because they thought he flatout disappeared.

Sef definitely loves Desmond the most as he grew up with Desmond being both his guard dog and babysitter. Sef’s daughters also love Desmond and likes to hug him. Unlike Maria who had been worried, Sef absolutely encourages his daughters to play with Desmond.

Malik’s son, Tazim, was once dared to tug Desmond’s tail. Just to be a jerk, Desmond howled loudly and pretended to die for dramatic effect. It traumatized Tazim so badly because he honestly believed he killed Desmond. Desmond felt super bad especially since no one could stop Tazim from crying even after Desmond showed that he’s alive and well.

Desmond didn’t think it would be a big deal since Darim’s preferred method of stopping him from doing something stupid was to tug his tail anyway.

Leonardo would definitely draw sketches of Desmond which would baffle historians in later years. Leonardo is also the only person to wonder how Desmond reproduces (Nightstalkers lay eggs… and… uuuhhh… every nightstalker has a chance to drop eggs if you kill them so… I’m not saying Desmond can lay eggs… I’m just saying… the possibility exists?)

Desmond mostly communicates with growls and whimpers but whenever it’s time to poison someone, he hisses and rattles.

The preferred poison of the Assassins was based on his venom thanks to Altaïr’s studies. This means that old Assassin families are immune to his venom. This includes Haytham.

Desmond definitely destroyed the crystal skull that Juno uses to communicate with Ratonhnhaké:ton’s tribe by playing with it like it’s a ball of yarn. The villagers just assumed it was the will of the spirits.

Whenever anyone asks Ratonhnhaké:ton what Desmond wants for tribute, Ratonhnhaké:ton always answers that the best tribute is a kill by their hunters that will be shared with the tribes as some kind of festivity. It took months for Desmond to be able to explain it to Ratonhnhaké:ton using charades and Desmond was actually just saying ‘a meal together’.

George Washington cannot get near Ratonhnhaké:ton because Desmond hisses and rattle any time he tries... Haytham also gets the hissing and rattling treatment.

[floriumm]

Everyone shits on Tumblr and it is by no means perfect, but it’s still my favorite social media site. FB is well what it’s always been. I feel like I’m too old (31) and lazy to make use of TikTok, plus everything on there feels so forced and obnoxious. IG is again, IG. Not terrible but run by FB and the fact that you miss stuff from most of the people because of ads is annoying af.

And then there is Tumblr. I can keep my shit organized and tbh I feel like communities *can* be more welcoming than other places. For example on Twitter if you have few followers people think you’re a bot or fake. It feels very much like you’re either part of the clique, invisible, or part of the rampant toxicity. Every interaction I’ve had here has been pretty pleasant. I have like 5 followers yet people still interact with me way more than on any other platform which makes me feel like I’m not a ghost or just annoying af.

But yes, there are obviously still issues with the site. Tbh most of them don’t directly affect me or bother me but I know they are there and I hope they get addressed because I really wish I knew more people who used it or would come back.

I know one thing I would like to see added is something similar to Twitter circles where I can post privately to a specific group of people without them having to buy a sub or w/e weird shit tumblr added.

Anyway I’m just talking. As usual no one really cares lol.

ETA: oh I forgot to add, I can also write walls of text here without limits and without paying for a blue check mark lol.

[kaminokilljoy]

using my tumblrblog to actually blog for once

I figured I would put down some thoughts about my art journey so far on here I have some things to say and where better than my suuuuper popular tumblr blog 😂? Just me screaming into the void and talking to myself as usual, just my experience, anyway some observations over the past like slightly less than two years of drawing people/ figures specifically, which I picked up around May or so in 2023 cuz that's around when it started to interest me (maybe the reason I didn't find it as fascinating earlier was because I didn't have as many people to draw? And I just liked drawing nature or whatever better I guess. But these days it's very fun for me) (loooong post LOL):

-a lot of "artist" youtubers are just straight up useless and although some people always tell new artists to watch the most famous art names a lot of them just peddle some art course or have same face syndrome or just dont really know what theyre doing in general.

-out of 2d and 3d reference images, 3d ones like real life figure drawing sessions, models, etc ended up being much more useful in the long run to learn like anatomy or whatever. I didn't bother with 3d anything at the start because I was told they would be harder to practice with, but I guess since I'd already been drawing a while and had some experience with realism for example it wasn't as hard on me as I was expecting. Also I feel like even if you're drawing in a 2d style there's still contour and depth to the drawing that you can't see, I feel like the 2d outline should have something invisible underneath it rather than just exist on its own as an entity I have no idea how to phrase that. I definitely struggled with proportions, lighting, whatever a lot more originally, but I guess the point I'm trying to make is that studying photographs of real people or observing them in real life was more helpful for me to get a sense of things rather than practicing with premade 2d pose references specifically. (I also feel like a lot of the 2d references available are ridiculously sexualized if they are women, but theres probably a workaround around that) Practicing with 3d references was hard but it was really useful. That being said 2d was also really helpful but just in a different way, I feel like maybe 2d is better to get a hang of different styles and 3d is better for technicality. If practicing with a 2d reference I would rather copy out of a manga or a comic with a style that I like rather than a pose, I'd rather leave poses to 3d references.

-the best thing that I should have done for myself earlier is to just relax really, and learn as I went. At the very beginning I had some kind of complex that I wasn't allowed to actually have fun with my art and I had to just grind,grind,grind and learn about anatomy or whatever but that did not really go anywhere useful. I just ended up like forcing myself to draw the same reference of this one like "female outline" or something like 20 or 40 times and I got so frustrated because there wasn't any improvement I started panicking and crying. I had some sort of idea enhanced by someone who was in my life at the time that I had to improve those things quickly and like of course if you've only been drawing for two weeks anatomy is gonna be difficult for you!!! But I didn't have faith in myself that I'd be able to improve, I was terrified that I'd just be stuck at that level forever if I didn't gorge myself on "studies" and that just led to a lot of frustration and an overall negative experience. But after a little bit when I started making vent art to process some things that were going on, or just overall other art that wasn't like anatomy practice art, it let me actually SEE myself in my art and I do think that over time I've improved. I put together a drawing from like September 2023 and the same drawing in maybe mid or late 2024, 9 or 10 months apart and I noticed better understanding of facial and body proportions as well as more fine attention to details like the curve of the hands. I still have a long way to go, but art is an endless journey and the main reason that I was doing something so burnout inducing is because I thought I'd never improve, but I ended up doing so after I started drawing from my heart instead as corny as that may sound. After I let myself actually just draw what I wanted I could find MORE ways to do studies, like study Gerard Way or Amy Lee, or split complementary color studies of the danger days characters. The best way for me to improve was to meld studies with what I wanted to draw. Art as a passion, just like any other hobby is for the self and although I had that idea already I just didn't know how to apply it to myself. Improvement and stagnancy in art are in my opinion sometimes applied as made-up concepts. some people will learn quicker than others, some people just want to paint different types of strawberries their whole lives and that's all literally fine.

-"criticism" is not always all that useful especially depending on who it's coming from. There's an idea of like "oh but if nobody ever tells you then you'll never improve!" and I don't think that's entirely true, especially if the person themselves who is imposing that onto you still has a lot to learn. At first I didn't really ask for any, but then I started falling into that cycle of like feeling incomplete without any criticism or like i'm missing something, but again, pretty unnecessary emotions to have and I ended up figuring out my own mistakes a few months down the road the more I practiced. Now that I think about it I had been drawing and redrawing the same like small "anime" face in my sketchbook once every few months even before I picked up figure drawing as a serious thing, and there WAS improvement, I think that my overall self esteem was just at an all time low (dear maria hahahhhahahhhahahaha I'm so funny). a second eye can be great, but I think it's more useful with more niche things like maybe learning to draw wings, or how far away the "camera" should be in a drawing, than just blatant technicality like "the legs are too long" or whatever. I feel like those things come with time.

-I think I'm finally starting to develop my own "style" when drawing people, I think I just really like drawing small lines in quick succession next to each other and cross-hatching, so I ended up kind of honing in on a style that I used in a drawing a while back (that I drew without an eraser just kinda went with the flow and did whatever) and that tends to be the manner in which I draw a lot of things, it's fun and it works for me so that's exciting.

-balancing art and other creative hobbies like music, crafts, maybe makeup, and just going on walks in general or hiking or whatever also helps me in a way I think because it allows me to think about things differently which subconsciously? inspires me to draw? also just the sky is beautiful as hell sometimes and I have many pictures of it that I intend to make studies of.

-sculptures can be so useful and fun to study. I'd like to go to an art museum and just draw studies of all the paintings and sculptures.

-My cycle of art creativity seems to be sinusoidal with a period of a lot of inspiration and then a period of not that much ,maybe I slowly work my way back into it or maybe I don't but the first period shows itself again. No matter how much time passes it remains like this.

-I need to start actually using my stickers instead of of saving them for no reason

-something I've never really drawn before is architecture but it's starting to interest me, also mecha, I mean I've found that interesting for a while just never drew it

-I think I'm starting to get more of a hang of how to break things down into shapes as well as like confidence(not drawing so darkly that you can't erase it, but still having smooth lines), I think hands are also getting somewhat easier to draw, need more perspective practice and practice from back view but perspective studies can be fun

In summary really the best thing that I learned is to just practice and have fun lol, just as I'd been doing before I started trying to draw people specifically, patience and continuing to put in effort has been the key just as for anything else, I'm excited to see where my art style will go and hopefully how I will improve in the future . my idea was to kinda update this as I spend more and more time as someone who likes drawing .

(●'◡'●)

[seelestia]

it's like a patronus lol more proof that we're family, no? :P

very very true. any editors are better than tumblr atp ;w; even on mobile, tumblr editor deletes paragraphs at times. like... why. >:/

chicken sandwiches ftw!! hskshdks that's kinda adorable... yes child, you have your cocoa latte while i'll have my flat white- /j

yes yes the jp version is my favorite in that scene!!! (isn't umeyuu really ikemen irl too lol) i mean the en va did a good job too ofc but from all versions the jp one just hits differently... or maybe i am biased lol

i am loving the married couple bickering between those two lmao i really hope their banner is together or something (i heard kaveh is a 4*?)... oooh i wish genshin had a system where there was a unique "added to party" line that triggers if certain characters are in that party yk?? e.g. if you add kaveh to a party with al haitham he might have the chance to say "ugh not this guy" or "you have bad taste" lmaoooo wouldn't that be fun?? i'm so making this a post sjdlsjdl

i tried exploring around mond to 100% my exploration (so far only 2 areas are 100%) with the treasure compass and it's. it's so relaxing but also it takes so. much. time. lsdfjslhdfjks i'm gonna die from the electroculus and dendroculus searching, i just know it ;w;

*stamps 'chronic simp' sign on your hand* welp now we match-

yeye i heard about that too! so my current plan is to use my guarantee to 'mouchie cause i just gotta collect these anemo boys it's my destiny (i somehow have a feeling his rerun won't be anytime soon after this cause we're already kinda 'done' with his story, while compared to that childe will definitely still appear in the future???) and then pull on ayato's banner. if i'm lucky, i'll get ayato, but if not at least that means guaranteed al haitham (which i heard will be in 3.4?). but whatever it is al haitham's coming home no matter what cause i have the power of credit card

sobs i love that one the most too. the inspiration gods blessed me with that one ;w;

i'm cradling your hugs and cuddles close to my chest and sipping your tea with a smile. sending you back twice the hugs and headpats <3 <3

calling them our patronus sounds so cute AWWW <3 this makes me want to rewatch harry potter all of a sudden, but i'd probably end up falling asleep the moment i laid my head down on the sofa 😭 i think ayato would find the wizarding world vv intriguing and comment on its perks ("my, an invisibility cloak? i can only imagine the many tricks i'd be able to get away with." smack him /j). and for heizou, ik for sure that he would deffo be a fan of it (he's a nerd, a cute one).

i can see why you like the jp ver because umehara yuichiro's voice makes alhaitham sound extra feral LOLL i'm vv excited to see you go feral when his drip marketing comes out on twitter 👀 and yep, kaveh is a 4-star and it is most likely he'd be on the same banner as his beloathed roommate, pfft. OH, THAT IDEA SOUNDS FUN LOLLL you add kaveh into the party and alhaitham's unique voiceline is just "...sigh, care to remind me why he has to be here again?"

good luck with mondstadt's exploration, rin jie! >:) treasure hunting is like a more relaxed way to get 100% exploration and primos in small quantities. don't be like me and resort to finding the oculi yet because hoyoverse hides them in the weirdest places that i had to pull out guides 😭

GO GET SCARAMOOSH HOME! from what i saw in leaks, his kit is super cool and unique from the rest. the angy man literally floats in the air LOLLL and wishing you my good luck on ayato! hopefully, that commissioner will follow his great buddy oni's example and come home ;D and the way alhaitham is technically already guaranteed to be yours, whether that be with the power of credit card or not (hopefully not) fjejwkske

as you know for me, i'm definitely pulling for ayato with my guaranteed pity at 25 (i managed to secure layla within 20 pulls on childe's banner) + i have 80 fates saved rn, so it is safe to say the man will come home safe to me! i grinded so hard like i collected dendro sigils, the lumenstones and the res crystals at dragonspine to get those 2 free fates hoyoverse gave out 😭 i think after i get ayato, i'll probably go back to my "pulling on the banner i regret the least" technique. i hope ayato comes home early, so i'd still have some leftover fates <//3 EITHERWAY, BEST OF LUCK TO BOTH OF US! ✨

[amphibious-entity]

TMBS Book 1 Brain Dump

~An Embarrassingly Long Post~

I don’t know why I’m writing this or why I’m so determined to do it. Maybe to finally assume my true form and become a mega dork on main, or maybe just for fun!

This is basically a compilation of all the main points running through my head after reading The Mysterious Benedict Society (2007) for the first time. Rather than posting a ton and spamming the tag, everything’s here in one neat package! (hopefully this gets it all out of my system rip)

Contents:

The Book Itself

The Book Itself, for real this time

The Characters

A Funny Parallel

The S.Q. Section

Lines & Scenes I Liked

Spoilers abound!

The Book Itself

Upon acquiring the first three books (don’t judge me pls), I was surprised at just how long they are. Like, they’re still pretty light being paperbacks and all, but these books are hefty lads.

The first book has this Disney+ Original Series circle thing printed on it, which is kind of unfortunate. Regardless, I love the cover illustration and yellow is actually my favorite color :D It made me weirdly quite happy whenever I saw the book lying around in my room

Also, it’s really cute how there’s a letter from Mr. Benedict at the end! (It only reveals that you can find out his first name if you “know the code”, meaning the bit of Morse printed below the summary on the back.) Shock and horror, though, as I realized I’m starting to recognize some of the letters

The Book Itself, for real this time

It’s wonderful how the tone of the book really shone through to the show adaptation. Something about the deliberateness of the aesthetic, from the set designs to the fashion to scene compositions, that really sells that particular style— like it’s very clear that this story is being told to us, rather than one we’re seeing unfold, if that makes sense.

Where that narration style stood out to me the most was the first chapter. We are told (rather than shown) how Reynie gets himself to the point of the second test, and there’s this whole twisty time maneuver for that whole sequence of events that’s really interesting

A super secret fun fact about me is that I wanted to be a writer when I was younger! So this particular balance of show vs. tell is really neat, since it runs counter to my own tendencies. The sheer amount of commas in every sentence is also kind of comforting, since Ahah, I Do That in those few serious-ish attempts at writing lol

Overall this book’s style reminds me a lot of Roald Dahl’s books, which are very nostalgic for me :D The whole “kids are more competent than adults” angle helps a lot too haha

The Characters

Oh boy here’s where I get a little bit critical! Overall I did really like this book!! it’s just that that expresses itself in all this weird “”analysis”” lol

Reynie - much better in the books than in the show

It’s sort of a lukewarm take but I feel like show!Reynie is kind of boring? He doesn’t have a lot going on flaw-wise, and obviously since he’s the protagonist he can’t have too many weird traits or else the kids watching can’t project themselves onto him as easily

(I call it the difference between an aspirational protagonist and a vessel protagonist. Going off of the Roald Dahl vibes, think Matilda vs Charlie. show!Reynie is more of a Charlie)

Thus when we get to see him really struggle with the Whisperer and doubt himself it gives him a lot more dimension, at least in my opinion

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

Sticky - my son

I’ve long held to no one besides myself and my long suffering sister that Sticky is The Best Member of the Society

He happened to hit a lot of the Bingo squares of Stuff I Like In Characters: glasses, anxious, nice :), kind of a coward but ultimately is there for his friends, etc

For some reason I don’t talk about him nearly as much as you-know-who, but I love him just as dearly

Kate & Constance - I don’t have much to say

Kate is really interesting in this book! I like how we get to see more of her depths, in particular that one passage about her belief that she is invincible being the only thing that keeps her from falling apart? :c

Also her constant fidgeting is relatable lol

Constance is somehow a lot more tolerable in the book. I think I’m just one of those people with no patience for small children, unfortunately lol

(Some of) The Adults

It’s interesting that they had such an offscreen presence for most of the book. Giving them more time was probably one of the stronger changes of the show

However if that decision was made at the expense of the white knight scenes I think the choice should have been clear

I like the way Rhonda and Number Two are written

Milligan always on sad boy hours 😔✊

The “mill again” passage is touching but kind of messes up the pacing of the getaway, at least for me. Maybe I should read it again to make sure I didn’t miss something

Miss Perumal is much better in the show. We see so little of her in the book she doesn’t function well as an emotional anchor for Reynie, imo

The Institute Gang

Jackson and Jillson serve their purpose well, and Martina was surprising to say the least. I like the direction they took her in the show! I can’t imagine how funny it must have been to watch the tetherball subplot come out of nowhere lolol

These sections were written out of sequence, so random tidbit I couldn’t fit in The S.Q. Section: I like how he stumbles over his words. relatable

Mr. Curtain

While I think I know why they decided to not give Curtain the wheelchair in the show, we were totally robbed of Actor Tony Hale’s performance for the reveal during the final confrontation

Speaking of the wheelchair, it’s such a powerful symbol of his need for control or rather, his fear of losing it

The Contrast between him and Mr. Benedict. This point is expanded on in A Funny Parallel

Mr. Benedict

Oh boy, Mr. Benedict… How do I say this

I find it hard to trust Mr. Benedict, unfortunately

I mean to say, I do in the sense that I know he would never hurt the kids, thanks to knowing that a) this is a children’s book series and b) the meta (tumblr) states that he is really nice and lovable and stuff, but seriously. Why do the kids trust him at first?? I probably missed something somewhere

I like to think I’m an optimistic person, but unfortunately I’m also super paranoid. The premise of “a bunch of vulnerable orphans team up with a strange old man” is just so odd to me I don’t know how to explain it

I don’t know!!! I really want to trust Mr. Benedict

One of the strengths of the show is that we get to see him more often, and thus he gets to acknowledge more often that the plan is weird and that he feels really badly for putting the kids in danger and that he’s trustworthy and genuine

But his lack of presence for most of the book just makes him into something of a specter, invisible and unknowable, speaking only in riddles from across the bay

Which is why the white knight scene is so important!! I loved that scene ;-;

Because here’s an actual emotional connection! We can actually see it happening, rather than only being told that it exists

Reynie asking for advice and receiving encouragement, in words that demonstrate that Mr. Benedict actually cares about him and worries about him and agghh

It is a federal crime that the white knight scenes were not adapted into the show

But overall this whole issue didn’t ruin my enjoyment of the book at all! It’s just ->

A Funny Parallel

Okay, ready for my biggest brain, hottest take ever??

Mr. Benedict and Mr. Curtain…. are… the same

I mean obviously not entirely, given that one is benevolent and kind and the other is… Mr. Curtain

But seriously. Genius old man seeks out children (mainly orphans) to enact a plan. Said children often end up incredibly devoted to his cause and deeply admire him this is a little flimsy

Undoubtedly that’s intentional and is supposed to show the difference between them, like some kind of cautionary tale? “Let yourself be vulnerable and let others help you, lest you turn eeeeviiillll”

I guess that’s where the aforementioned epic contrast comes in. You get Mr. Curtain, strapped into his wheelchair and hiding behind those mirrored sunglasses, terrified (but unwilling to admit it) of ever showing the tiniest hint of vulnerability, vs. Mr. Benedict, who can let himself fall knowing that someone will catch him :’)

Anyhow I have nothing against the parallels, I just think it’s funny

The S.Q. Section

The S.Q. Quarantine Thread so it doesn’t leak out everywhere else <3

I’d like to meet the emo angstlord genius who read this book and decided to make SQ into Dr. Curtain’s son. What in the world

Okay I should probably preface this by saying that I absolutely adore both book!S.Q. and show!SQ with all my heart. Somehow, despite being a completely different character in both mediums, he has managed to be one of the best characters in either and certainly one of my favorites (besides Sticky of course) in the entire franchise, despite the fact that I’ve only read the first book/watched the show so far. I am confident in this statement.

But seriously! How?? Why?? I could probably write a whole other essay about why show!SQ is such an interesting character, and the change works so incredibly well. I’m just. Baffled

Okay, focus. book!S.Q. is such a sweetheart, oh my goodness. Like, 100% one of the most endearing characters in the book. Poor guy. I don’t even know where to start!!

He just seems to be a genuinely good guy at heart, despite being technically one of the bad guys. He’s genuinely happy for Reynie and Sticky when they became Messengers and helped Kate when she “fell” and was concerned about Constance when she looked sick and how he was in that meeting with Mr. Curtain and Martina?!!? aaahhhhghgh ;-; he just wants people to be happy TT-TT

Comparing him against literally every character at the Institute is probably what makes him so endearing tbh. When everyone else is so awful to the kids, it really makes him stand out. Like a cheerful little nightlight in the worst, most humid and rank bathroom you’ve ever been in

It’s kind of pointless to theorize about a book series that’s already concluded (I think?) but. Is the implication of S.Q.’s forgetfulness supposed to be that Mr. Curtain used him in brainsweeping experiments somehow? The timeline probably definitely absolutely doesn’t line up but like. How did he get to being a Messenger being the way he is now, given how cutthroat the process is? And then of course Mr. Curtain keeps him around as an Executive because he’s fun to mess with and presumably his loyalty. I’m very curious as to how their relationship develops in the other books, if at all. Those are probably where the seeds of the “let’s make them family” logic were planted

But wouldn’t it be hilarious if the reason we don’t know what “S.Q.” stands for in the books is that he just. Forgot

Another thing that occurred to me. Given that he and the other Executives were Messengers at some point, what were their worst fears? What is S.Q.’s worst fear?? Inquiring minds need to know

One last horrible little anecdote: I was thinking about book!S.Q. while eating breakfast, as one does, and suddenly it hit me.

I want to believe The Author Trenton Lee Stewart had the name for a character, S.Q. Pedalian, and was like, “Hm! What sort of quirky trait should this young fellow have?” Because, of course, in this style of fiction every character has to have at least one cartoonish or otherwise distinguishing trait to stand out in the minds of children. (For instance, Kate has her bucket, Sticky has his glasses, Constance is angry, and Reynie is Emmett from the Lego Movie)

Anyhow, he looks around the room, searching for inspiration. Suddenly he comes across a jumbo box of plastic wrap. Completely innocuous in design, save for one line of text. 300 SQ FT.

“…large… S.Q. …feet? THAT’S IT!” i’m sorry

Lines & Scenes I Liked

In no particular order!

Sticky quotes Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Evil combination aerobics/square dancing in the gym with the Executives

Everyone being happy at the end :’)

Everyone partying after Sticky reunites with his parents, and later finding Mr. Benedict asleep at his desk from the moment they shook hands :’’)

Literally any scene with Sticky in it

Any time Kate says “you boys” or “gosh”

[“Um, sir?” S.Q. said timidly, raising his hand. “A thought just occurred to me.” / Mr. Curtain raised his eyebrows. “That’s remarkable, S.Q. What is it?”] clown prince of my heart </3

S.Q.’s determined monologue about searching for clues after he bungled up the first time

Literally any scene with S.Q. in it (please refer to The S.Q. Section)

Reynie trying to resist the Whisperer.

[Let us begin. / First let me polish my spectacles, Reynie thought. / Let us begin. / Not without my bucket, Reynie insisted. He heard Mr. Curtain muttering behind him. / Let us begin, let us begin, let us begin. / Rules and schools are tools for fools, Reynie thought.]

NO MORE HURTIN’ WITH CURTAIN

Milligan showing up on the island!!

Remember the white knight hhhhhh

“controle”

A Super Secret Bonus Section

I would be extremely surprised if anyone read through all the way down here lol. Regardless, here’s a little acknowledgements section :D not tagging anyone since I don’t want to bother all of these people

Special shoutout to tumblr blog stonetowns for unknowingly yet singlehandedly demolishing my reluctance to read the books by posting a ton of cute quotes. Thank you for your service o7

Thanks to the two OGs that liked the post I made right before this one, for being my unwitting enablers and for sticking around despite being a) technically an internet stranger (hello!) and b) someone I haven’t spoken to irl in literal years (hey!!)

Last but not least thankz 2 my sister for putting up with me ranting about the book when I first got it and for asking about “CQ” sometimes lol. (i desperately hope you’re not reading this orz)

[supercalvin]

Hello, may I request a Merthur ficlet where they’re teens during war ish times and they dance to O Children I just know you’re a potter head and thus there is no way you don’t know which scene I’m referring to 🤧 (Also I’m actually frequently on your page and we’ve interracted and I’m so fun and quirky that I decided to go anon for this one just to spice things up hoho) BONUS POINTS for soft cheek touching and sweet first kissing but whatever yk not that important 👉🏼👈🏼

This is a hilariously late reply to this prompt. Thank god tumblr doesn’t put dates on asks, because I’d be too embarrassed to post this ficlet. Anyways. I had to look up this scene lol, but it was very cute and I loved this idea. Soft cheeks kisses here we goooooooo.

ficlets

---

The radio on Merlin’s shoulder crackled, and he quickly turned it down. The forest was quiet, and Merlin’s magic hadn’t detected anything besides animals in a mile radius, but that didn’t mean he was going to let a radio give away his position. He crouched down and waited for a minute, listening to the sounds of the forest around him. The pack of supplies dug into his shoulder, but with only a mile left to go, he knew he had better keep it on his back and feel the relief later, rather than try to get it back on his sore back.

With another quick spell to ensure that no one was around, Merlin continued on his route. His boots crunched in the autumn leaves and the air was crisp. Merlin could feel the magic in the forest like electricity before a storm.

There was limited access to electricity in the forest, it was mostly used for lights and any emergency medical equipment that Gaius needed. Otherwise everyone endured without it and magic was used when it wasn’t being used to defend the camp. Before the war, the thought of living without constant electricity seemed unreal, but after three years of living in the forest and running supplies between encampments, it was hard for Merlin to remember what life was like before.

When Merlin pictured the end of the war, the only luxuries he longed for was a warm bed and a large bath. Mostly he wished for his people to be free once again.

When Merlin entered the edge of the camp, he felt the wards shimmer around his form. Although invisible to most people, Merlin could always see the magic, it glimmered in the light like dust motes in a sunbeam. As soon as he passed through the wards he heard the commotion. His hackles raised and instinctually looked around for danger, before he realized that the sound wasn’t screams of fear but rather the raucous sounds of celebration.

The supplies tent was at the back of the encampment, where it could best be protected. Merlin wound his way around the tents until he found the large green tent. When he stepped inside, he was greeted by a young Druid woman, Ferridel.

“What’s happened?”

“Oh Merlin, you’ve returned. The battalion came back with news of victory while you were gone. We’ve taken the valley.”

Merlin nodded, his heart racing in his chest. Too many questions to ask, he was left dumb.

Merlin dropped off the supplies, but he was too anxious to stay and speak with Ferridel. He rushed to the center of camp, where a large bonfire was blazing and soldiers were gathered with tankards in hand. Their coats and rifles were strewn about the benches around the bonfire. Some soldiers raised their hands in greeting, but Merlin was looking for a familiar face.

“Looking for someone?”

Merlin whipped around to see exactly who he was looking for.

“Arthur,” Merlin said, his breath leaving him in a whisper.

Arthur smiled, looking far too pleased with himself as he cocked his head to one side. “You look awful, Merlin. What have you been doing? Rolling in the dirt while we fight this war?”

“You’re an ass,” Merlin said, but his harsh words were soon softened as he engulfed Arthur in a tight embrace. Arthur’s arms wrapped around him and he could feel Arthur shake a little. Despite his bravado, Arthur wasn’t a fool. Every time he stepped onto that battle field, it could be the end. Merlin knew that when Arthur left last month, it could have been his last time seeing his best friend’s smile.

Arthur pulled back and gripped Merlin’s shoulder, “Now you look like a man who could use a nice glass of scotch.”

“You have scotch?” Merlin said.

Arthur tilted his head towards the residential tents. “Come on,” He tugged on Merlin’s jacket.

Before Merlin knew it, Arthur had gotten Merlin a warm basin of water and a large pile of food. As Captain of the battalion, Arthur was granted some privileges, and usually Merlin would tell Arthur he was a spoiled prince for it, but now the warm water felt nice and the Merlin was starving. When he was travelling between encampments Merlin usually only ate jerky and whatever bread hadn’t gone stale.

As Merlin ate, Arthur told him about the battle. He was brief, very limited in his details. Merlin was grateful. He hated hearing about battle plans but he also knew that for every positive note Arthur said about the battle, there was a price they had paid. Merlin knew that as the men celebrated their victory, they also mourned their fallen brethren.

“So where is this infamous scotch?”

Arthur smiled, crooked and sly. He opened up a trunk and pulled aside clothes that cushioned a large bottle of amber liquid. Merlin raised his brow. Alcohol was hard to come by nowadays. Merlin ran essential supplies between encampments, and alcohol was rarely on that list.

Arthur cut the wax seal with his pocket knife and poured a heavy serving for both of them.

“To victory,” Arthur raised his glass.

“To freedom,” Merlin said, and clanked his glass against Arthur’s.

The scotch was warm as it ran down his throat. He coughed, not used to the feeling anymore. Arthur laughed at him and pounded his back. They drank and told each other stories of friends and foes alike. They talked about before the war and they dreamed about afterwards. Soon enough, both of them were laughing in drunken delight. Perhaps on a different night the scotch would have made them somber. But not tonight, after an essential victory.

Music had started to play outside and Merlin could hear the shuffle of people dancing and drunkenly singing along to the music.

Arthur stood on unsteady feet, a warm smile on his face as he reached for Merlin.

“What are you doing?” Merlin laughed as Arthur hauled him to his feet.

“Dance with me, Merlin,” Arthur whined, pouting like a spoiled child.

“You don’t want to see me dance, Arthur. You know how clumsy I am.”

“That’s not true,” Arthur pouted. His hands had settled on Merlin’s waist. He was warm from the alcohol, and it burned Merlin to be this close to the sun. “You’re not clumsy when you do magic. Come on, do some magic for me.”

“You’re such a spoiled prat.” Merlin held his hands against Arthur’s chest, but did not push him away. Despite his words, Merlin was not one to deny Arthur anything, especially when he was inebriated. So he let his magic loose. Dozens of small lights filled the tent, bobbing in the air like fireflies.

“Beautiful,” Arthur said, but he hadn’t turned his head to look at the lights.

The song outside was slow, but the tune was uplifting. Arthur took Merlin’s hands off his chest, cradling one in his palm and the other he slid up so that it rested against Arthur’s shoulder. They danced, albeit horribly, but nonetheless they did dance. Merlin stumbled over his own feet and Arthur did not know how to keep a beat, but they laughed and that was more important than skill.

As the music dwindled, they heard cheers outside. Someone was speaking to the crowd by the bonfire. Then someone started playing a somber tune, the same they always played at the end of any victory or defeat. They lost men, no matter the outcome. Their mood had changed just as quickly as the songs had changed.

Merlin felt his throat close up. He reached up to touch Arthur’s face, cradling his jaw in his palm.

“Thank the gods,” Merlin said, the rest of his sentence stuck in his throat. The thought of losing Arthur was too overwhelming, any words to express it were lost to Merlin.

“I’m right here,” Arthur said, holding Merlin’s wrist, “I’ll always be here.”

Merlin shook his head, “You can’t promise that.”

“I’ll always come back to you.”

Merlin shook his head, feeling tears run down his cheek even as he closed his eyes against them. He was always an easy crier, and usually Arthur would make fun of him for it. But Arthur stayed silent this time.

“Oh, Merlin. I hate when you do this…” Arthur shook off Merlin’s hand and cradled Merlin’s face in his own hands, wiping the tears with his thumbs. “I fight this war for you… For your freedom. For your happiness. One day, I will never see you cry again.”

Before Merlin could answer, Arthur leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Merlin’s cheek and then pulled away and kissed the other, right at the edge of his lips.

Merlin gripped Arthur’s wrists, his eyes flickering between Arthur’s trying to read his expression. But he was so grimmly serious, as if Arthur was vowing that he would fight every enemy soldier himself just to protect Merlin.

“Live through this war...that’s what will make me happy.”

“I will,” Arthur vowed with a solemn nod.

Just a few inches of air separated them, but they felt like miles. Arthur looked Merlin in the eye, and then down, and before Merlin could register what was happening, Arthur was kissing him. Merlin gripped him tight, feeling Arthur’s hands tighten on his jaw.

Arthur pulled back, “Is this...? Are you alright with…?”

“And you say I talk too much,” Merlin said, and shut him up with a kiss.

***

Ficlets

[kuiinncedes]

PROMPT LIST? cheerio!tina & skank!quinn, angst #37, quinntina ofc

yes prompt list!! sorry this took so long, thanks sm for prompting sim <33

some pre-notes: first that wow this got long again 😂 2398 words (before probably some edits in the tumblr post editor) *oops i did it again*

1 2 3 these are my other three (very short) “installments” for this “verse” i guess 🤪 i wouldn’t say it’s required to read them tho i think everything is pretty understandable 🥰

this also got a little anti rachel lol 🥴 and anti schue but like yeah and i think that’s it 😗

Angst 37: “Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

--

Glee club has been going well… all things considered.

Including the fact that Quinn’s crush on Tina only grows, that Rachel Berry still doesn’t seem to warm up to her and Kurt’s presence in the choir room, that the teacher really kind of sucks and apparently only Kurt and Quinn see it, that most of the other members are still wary around them - around Quinn.

But not Tina. Tina, who’s one of the most popular girls in school, not actually head of the Cheerios but probably the most well-liked, and there’s a reason. Tina is the first to welcome her and Kurt to the glee club after their audition, the first to make an effort to befriend them. She talks to Kurt about fashion, and Kurt is hesitant to bring down his facade but Quinn can tell how much he loves it, how much he’s missed talking about something that brings him so much joy. Even with his temporary and purposely limited wardrobe situation, he’s talked Quinn’s ear off about the things he wants to do and wear in New York City; she doesn’t understand much of it so she’s glad Tina does.

And she talks to Quinn. Tina actually talks to Quinn like… like she’s a person, just another student at this school, not Quinn Fabray, half of the most cold and closed-off duo that walks the halls, ex-most popular girl in school, Quinn Fabray with an unspeakable history, unspeakable in that Quinn will have consequences for those who speak about it. 

It’s dramatic, she knows. But it’s part of her untouchable image at this piece of shit school with its horrible students. 

Not Tina. Tina’s not horrible.

(Get a grip, Fabray.)

It feels like she and Kurt are on the edge of a precipice with glee club. Tina likes them, Blaine is nice enough to them (Kurt seems to like him, too), Rachel isn’t very welcoming, everyone else mostly ignores them. (Which is fine - preferable, really.)

They sway in the back, they sing, they do their part. And Quinn has missed singing, so it’s not all bad, she supposes.

But Quinn can feel the tension, the others’ hesitation whenever she and Kurt walk in to sit in the back, their unspoken thoughts, loud in their silence, their barely hidden glances.

She feels like she’ll tumble from the edge with one push.

One day, Tina sits beside Quinn and she can’t stop her jump of surprise. Tina just shoots her a small smile and moves her chair a bit further away, but Quinn finds herself wishing she would scoot the other way instead.

Tina keeps sitting by Quinn, and Quinn has no idea why.

She ignores the way her heart speeds up a little every time she makes eye contact with Tina, the way Kurt smirks knowingly at her but then returns to staring at the back of Blaine Anderson’s head, the way she can’t stop letting her eyes wander over to Tina every time Mr. Schuester starts talking about something she has no interest in (which she admits is very often).

Kurt had said glee would give her the chance to talk to Tina. And he was right - she’s made conversation with Tina multiple times (mostly initiated by Tina, though), and she would say they’re friends. Tina has said they’re friends and she definitely didn’t freak out to Kurt about it.

Kurt she called me her friend holy shit -

Inside voice, honey. Your gay is showing.

Shut - we’re literally outside. Let’s talk about you and Blaine.

Nope, fuck you, walking away now.

Kurt - wait! She - but she called me her friend - Kurt -

Besides Kurt, Tina is probably the person she’s closest with. Which still doesn’t say much - she’s not close to anyone besides Kurt…

But she wants to be, she thinks as she watches Tina perform an upbeat solo, a song she doesn’t recognize, but she watches her - how alive she looks, how good she sounds. It’s not like Quinn hasn’t heard her sing in the months since she’s joined, but if she had it her way, Tina would be the only one singing in this entire group. (She would insist on highlighting others, though, so Quinn adds herself and Kurt to that list. Not that they would ever get a solo.)

“All right, guys,” Mr. Schuester says. Kurt nudges Quinn with his elbow to get her to pay attention, and she shoots him a half-hearted glare. 

“So that was everyone who signed up to audition for a solo at regionals,” he continues. “I’ll let you know who we’re featuring by tomorrow. So I’ll see you then!”

“Who do you think is gonna get it?” Kurt asks as they leave, walking out to the parking lot. 

“Um…” 

“Right, I forgot, you’re too busy staring at Tina to know what’s going on in glee.”

Quinn scoffs. “I know what’s going on in glee.”

Kurt gives her a questioning look.

“I do! Sure, I didn’t know about the auditions, but I know Rachel’s probably getting the solo, even though it should go to Tina.”

“Anyone could tell you that.”

Quinn shoves Kurt lightly, a smile spreading across her face as they get into his car. Quinn’s been spending more time at Kurt’s lately - Quinn’s parents don’t give a fuck about her - they did the bare minimum allowing her to stay when she was pregnant and they’ve used up all their good parenting cards, it seems. She’s infinitely grateful for Burt Hummel, because if the kids and some of the teachers at school are going to treat her and Kurt like shit, at least there’s someone in their corner.

-

Completely unsurprisingly, Mr. Schuester announces Rachel as the soloist for regionals the next day, after years of the same thing, from what Quinn has heard.

Surprisingly, Tina isn’t in the room. Although, Quinn thinks, she wouldn’t be either if she knew what the outcome was going to be. And everyone knew what the outcome was going to be.

But Mercedes pushes back against his decision anyway, Santana complains, Blaine and Brittany try to placate, Kurt watches Blaine, Rachel jabbers about her destiny as the New Directions soloist or something, Quinn sits and wonders about the empty chair next to her. (She also wonders what would be the easiest way to get Rachel to shut the fuck up.)

She’s not paying attention, letting everyone’s arguing fade into the background. She barely registers Rachel saying shrilly, “We’re supposed to be a family!”

“Not much of a family when you’re the only one who can have anything good!” Mercedes snaps.

“I bet you wouldn’t react like this if Kurt or Quinn got the solo! Like they would even deserve it! At least I belong here, they don’t even - ”

“Would you shut - ” Mercedes starts at the same time Santana yells back, “Quinn doesn’t need a family, she’s a mother!”

And she knows - Quinn knows - that Santana just does this, she says shit and hurts people and this is just that and it’s whatever but -

Suddenly Quinn is in sophomore year again, hearing the taunts of her classmates behind her back and to her face. Suddenly she’s in sophomore year again, somehow invisible in the halls but also the only person anyone was looking at, pointing at, laughing at. She’s in sophomore year again and teachers do nothing to help her, no one but Kurt bothers to notice anything but the fact that she’s pregnant. And they laugh, and they taunt, and they stare.

She’s a mother. 

There it is. There’s the edge of the cliff that she has been fighting for balance on in this stupid club for months. 

Like they would even deserve it.

They don’t belong here.

And Quinn’s falling.

“I need to go, meet you at your car,” she says roughly to Kurt, who it seems hasn’t been paying attention at all, more focused on committing to memory the details of Blaine Anderson from halfway across the room. Quinn storms out and the arguing continues behind her.

Quinn slams the door to the bathroom as she barges in and all at once, sees that Tina is here (Tina is here?), realizes that she herself is crying, trying not to make noise and she just throws her bag on the floor and sinks down against a wall, hands around her knees and head leaned back. It’s too fucking much.

“Quinn?” Tina asks gently, so gently and Quinn watches as Tina kneels down in front of her. “Are you okay?”

Quinn wipes at her face, laughing harshly. “Yeah. Fine.”

Tina looks at her, not moving but just watching her. Quinn thinks it must be uncomfortable for her to kneel on the bathroom floor in her Cheerios outfit. Quinn thinks that Tina shouldn’t care about her, she should just leave, save her knees from the cold tile.

She doesn’t leave. 

After a moment, Tina says, “Hey, so, you don’t have to tell me anything… but I’m here if you need to.”

Quinn’s not actively crying anymore, grey smudges on her fingers where her makeup was wiped off. Her face probably looks like a nightmare, but she’s too exhausted to care. She leans her head back again and fixes her gaze just above Tina’s head, at the ceiling, the harsh bathroom lights piercing her vision through the tears in her eyes.

“I just - ” I guess I’m talking, she thinks, “Santana said something dumb about me being a mother and that’s what I heard sneered at me every day for months and even now still… and I’m not…”

Quinn trails off, looking at Tina again who nods, encouraging her to continue. She swallows and averts her gaze again.

“…and Rachel said something dumb about Kurt and I not belonging and not deserving it but she’s Rachel and I don’t care about the shit she says - I usually don’t. But her saying that - ” she scoffs. “Newsflash, Rachel, we don’t fucking belong anywhere.”

That was painfully made obvious sophomore year, with Quinn’s exit from the Cheerios, from popularity. It was obvious when no matter what, she couldn’t get it back, any of it. It was obvious when she and Kurt were the only ones to really notice each other and help each other. It was obvious when the only choice they had, the one they took, was becoming this and isolating themselves. It was obvious when the only chance they had was each other.

As if she needs someone else to tell her that, to rub it in.

It’s been building up, she realizes, this feeling, the hatred, the estrangement and isolation. She wonders if Kurt feels the same, how close he is to the edge, or if he’s even on a precipice like she is at all.

Quinn’s falling, she doesn’t know when or how it will end and she just wants -

“Lie to me,” she says to Tina, teeth clenched and voice tired. “I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

Falling, falling, falling - 

Quinn thinks bitterly that she should be used to it after her falls from popularity.

Tina takes her hands gently and squeezes them in reassurance. “I know this might just seem like words, and I’m not lying - you do belong. Both of you. You belong in glee club. You belong here.”

Quinn just swallows again, letting the words wash over her, and in the back of her mind, the part that’s not thinking about - everything, she marvels at the fact that Tina is holding her hands, and Tina’s skin is soft, and Tina’s words and actions feel genuine.

Falling… slowing.

Lie to me.

“We don’t belong. Everyone hates us,” Quinn mutters.

“I don’t,” Tina says, smiling a little. “I know we can be pretty difficult, the glee club, but we really don’t think that. Rachel might - if I’m being honest, I think she’s the one who doesn’t belong in glee club, for a multitude of reasons - but it really is supposed to be a safe, welcoming space. I’m really sorry we haven’t been able to do that for you.”

Quinn shrugs. “You have,” she admits softly. 

Tina looks like she doesn’t know what to say to that. Quinn pushes herself up against the wall, a little awkwardly, hands still intertwined with Tina’s, who squeezes again. “I’ll talk to her,” Tina says. “Rachel. I’ve been getting fed up with her shit, anyway. I’ve been needing to talk to her.”

“Okay,” is all Quinn can think to say, quietly uttered, her voice a little choked. “You don’t have to - ”

“No, I do,” Tina says. “And I want to. Mr. Schue lets her get away with way too much.”

Quinn huffs a laugh and Tina grins slightly, then withdraws her hands and pulls them through her ponytail, suddenly looking almost nervous. Quinn drops her hands in her lap and plays with her rings. Now that Quinn’s calmed down, her proximity-to-Tina-Cohen-Chang-induced nerves are back in full force. 

And maybe she isn’t falling anymore.

“Why weren’t you there today?” she asks after a moment.

Tina’s lips clench into a line. “Knew Rachel was getting the solo. I don’t know, I didn’t want to deal with that today, you know? Three years of the same shit, I’m just tired of it.”

Quinn hums in understanding. She can imagine.

“Are you okay? What do you say we… get out of here? Go somewhere?” Tina asks a little awkwardly, wincing slightly as she stands up and extends a hand for Quinn. She takes it and lets Tina pull her up.

“I’m actually… going home with Kurt, ” - but going somewhere with Tina - Kurt will understand - “actually, yeah, sure. I’ll let him know,” Quinn answers, not letting herself doubt the decision, pulling her phone from her pocket and quickly typing out a text and sending it to Kurt, who immediately responds.

omg did u actually talk and get a date with tina cohen chang

Quinn replies, fuck you, i’m leaving bye

are you okay?

yeah, fine i’ll talk to you later

ok have fun on your date ;)

yeah 🖕

Tina bounces a little and shoots her a smile when she puts her phone away. “Awesome. There’s this coffee shop that I think you’ll love - ”

“It’s not the Lima Bean, is it?”

Tina laughs. “Of course not. Barely anyone knows about this place, at least from school, so I really love it there.”

Tina grabs Quinn’s hand again and they head out of the school, Quinn ignoring how she can feel her pounding heartbeat against Tina’s skin. Hopefully Tina doesn’t notice.

*****

some notes for after 🤪

ok so i don’t really know why i used the “she’s a mother” line and idk if i’m just overthinking it but i’m not saying that scene was bad or anything ?? idk lol it was just on my mind i guess so i put it in slkdgfj (basically,, not related to the canon scene lol i just like adding canon lines 😗)

i think the point i was trying to make if any was that quinn doesn’t really have any family (in this au) so yeah it’s kind of a sensitive point

i did say this was very similar to my previous werewolf!quinn and vampire!tina fic but i’m okay with it now tbh,,, you know like it’s an alternate universe and they just help each other in all universes :’) yeah

i would love to continue this but i don’t have the best track record with that lol so we’ll see 😂

[99adelheid99]

cool so since I’m procrastinating anyways on my school work im just going to write a character study on beast! dazai

because I re read it and im sad and asagiri just loves to make everyone suffer

so spoilers for the beast au

((BTW IM SO SORRY TUMBLR MOBILE ISN’T LETTING ME CUT THE POST TO A READ MORE SO IM GOING TO TRY TO DO IT ON MY PC AND HOPE IT WORKS IF IT DOESNT IM SO SORRY;;;; ))

asagiri has already decided to make dazai a tragic character and break our hearts once, but he decided to also rip them out and spit on it.

in the canon world, we see dazai struggle through depression. ever since he was young he found there was no value in living as he says to mori in the fifteen arc. he tries throughout his life desperately to understand just why humans strive to live, why they fight so hard for their lives and work hard to live life to the fullest.

it’s no different in the many other worlds The Book had created, and that lonely hole in his chest is probably much bigger.

as explained by dazai in the light novel, the power of The Book does not effect him because of his ability, since The Book itself is an ability, dazai naturally cancels it out. because of this, dazai can practically “read his own memories” from the canon world. so he knows everything that happens in the original universe, that goes for every single dazai in every single au. every single one.

this in itself is probably one of the saddest things. if people not understanding dazai didn’t hurt enough in the canon world, imagine how horrible it is that the beast! dazai had suffer with this knowledge alone, because as mentioned, it’s not wise for a lot of people to know about The Book since the world they reside in will become unstable, and have a chance of disappearing.

at the end of the light novel we also learn of dazai’s plan. why he captured gin, and why he wanted to bring akutagawa and atsushi together.

it was for odasaku.

because dazai has the memories from his “original” self, he remember odasaku. he remembers how he died, he remembers that they were best friends, he remembers how odasaku was the only person who understood dazai to his core, he remember how much odasaku means to him.

but odasaku of this world doesn’t remember it at all. because to him it never happened. there is only the beast world and the beast world alone.

this is where the angst hits (harder lol)

dazai figures out (at some time idk when) that this is the only universe that odasaku survives (im not sure how exactly, im assuming he can read the memories of the other dazais? Idk)

he remembers odasakus passionate of becoming a writer, he remembers odasakus determination not to kill just so he could write his own novel.

and because I really do believe dazai has a heart shrouded in all that darkness, dazai wants the best for odasaku, dazai wants to make it so odasaku can continue to survive and write his novel.

so dazai being dazai makes this extremely elaborate extra ass plan to make sure it happens.

dazai knows that this world has a chance of disappearing since every time something is written down in The Book in any other au (I think? I believe it can be any one of them not just the canon one) The Book doesn’t create it out of nothing exactly, but borrows from other worlds to create what is written in the book to reality.

dazai’s afraid that this world might cease to exist, and if it does odasaku won’t get to write his novel in this only universe he survives in, odasaku won’t he happy and dazai doesnt want that.

now extra ass osamu here uses a lot of cruel tactics to get to his end goal, and it isn’t right at all, but I still have to sympathize because its just so painful lmao

during akutagawa and atsushi’s final battle, dazai goes to the lupin bar where he meets odasaku for the first time in this world. I feel like dazai fought with himself a lot not to visit odasaku during this time, probably wanting to do nothing else but to run to his old friend that he missed so damn much. and I think he couldnt resist in the end, I think he desperately wanted to see him one last time because from the very beginning he knew his own fate.

one of the many (lol) things that hurts me during this meeting is how dazai immediately jumps happily into conversation with odasaku when he sees him, how he invites him quickly to sit down with him (in which odasaku does but doesn’t sit right next to him, which seemingly hurts dazai, ouch my heart) and how he picks up conversation that dazai would normally have with odasaku in the real world, asking him if anything interesting happened to him that day or telling him about new suicide methods he tried, which leaves odasaku heavily confused as he kind of awkwardly replies to each question.

now because the pov during this scene is in oda’s, we don’t get know exactly what dazai is thinking, but oda describes his posture and reactions well for us to take a guess of how hard it is for dazai to not have probably the most important person in his life not know or care about him.

dazai tightening his grip around his glass, or dazai looking like a happy child in one second to trying to compose his emotion with a small smile in the next, these reactions happen when odasaku keeps bringing up how he doesn’t know dazai and how confused he is. and dazai trying to hold onto something, someone, who made him so happy. trying to ignore the pain he feels and grasp on to the good memories he has but odasaku doesn’t.

and then there’s the part in the bar that asagiri decided to write because he’s a writer and like all authors, lowkey likes to see his audience suffer.

when dazai calls oda by his nickname odasaku once again trying to get him to understand him, the man replies:

“Don’t call me Odasaku. There is no reason of an enemy to call me that.”

yeah I cried

I cried a lot

dazai’s reaction didn’t help either.

The young man suddenly seemed to have trouble breathing…He fought against something invisible.

in this world, dazai probably mastered concealing his emotions (he does in like every world, but he’s much more grim in this one so) he put up this wall and put on a mask for everyone but odasaku, he let his wall down and odasaku didn’t acknowledge it, didn’t bring him some sort of comfort like he did in the canon universe. not intentionally of course, not because odasaku was cruel, but odasaku didn’t know dazai as anything else but his enemy. for all he knows, dazai could be trying to manipulate him.

theyre enemies. they could never be friends in this world. but dazai seems to still try, even a little.

in the end, they part ways. dazai putting on that mask once again, and acting like this whole meeting didn’t just destroy him. because it would be worth it in the end, odasaku would live, be happy, write his novel.

dazai would suffer, but that’s okay. odasaku hates dazai, but that’s okay.

because odasaku is alive. odasaku is happy. and to dazai that’s enough.

we get to the ending that no one wants to read because we’re already in pain and we know asagiri is waiting there with a shotgun to deliver the final blow.

dazai arrives after akutagawa and atsushi’s fight to reveal his reasoning behind his plan. how atsushi and aku have to work together protect The Book to make sure this world doesn’t disappear just for oda, and he mentions how no more then two people can know about the existence of The Book also for the protection and stability of their world.

atsushi decides to so some quick maths then, and realizes in horror that dazai has slowly made his way to the edge of the building.

he pleads with dazai to not do it, but theres obviously no stopping him.

and in that moment I believe for the first time in a long time dazai is truly content.

the hatred towards him is heavy, but it doesn’t matter to dazai because odasaku is safe. he completed his mission.

dazai planned all of this from the very beginning up to his death. now, arguably, despite dazai’s heartwarming end goal he was still an awful person. he was abusive and manipulate. he hurt and killed others to get what he wanted. he was not a good person

but he suffered so much for the sake of one person, he knew his ending wasn’t going to happy, but the end goal was enough. the end goal made it worth it.

osamu could never tell anyone about his pain, not even his best friend. he had to instead put on the mask of the cruel boss of the port mafia. people either had to hate him or fear him. no one could ever love him, no one could ever care for him. and osamu knew that. from the very beginning. asagiri truly wrote a tragic but beautiful character.

now if you’ll excuse me im going to go cry :)))

[cinnaminsvga]

My eyes may of started to sweat reading your letter to yoongi. Honestly I've felt the same "maybe my love isn't enough love?" And your right it's like trying to reach a quota of love you give/feel then being like "idk maybe I'm not showing it enough" even though you truly purely love them with your whole being.

Then you do realize they're not those kind of people (I mean I didn't get it until just now but you're right). I never really thought about it in detail until your letter but it is something I've thought "maybe I'm not showing them enough love" like their birthdays stress me out as "what if they happen to see this out of the millions then see my others and it doesnt represent my love and respect for them?! What if it's not enough? They have so many people telling them they love them, what if I'm not doing enough?! even though I know it's not likely them see it, ect ect*" (in my case I just deleted them all and don't post messages but I do show it on tumblr (I feel safer here) and don't think to much on it anymore) but you're right about feeling the need to meet a quota even though they as people don't look at it like that.

God how do you express yourself so well about stuff like this.

(Oops sorry this got so long)

yea exactly lol it took me a long time to accept that i didn’t have to wring myself dry just to “satisfy” this invisible quota that other people might have when it comes to supporting or loving bangtan. i used to constantly be anxious about missing out on new content that i was practically glued to my phone, refreshing my feed and reading up on all the news because if i didn’t know every single thing about them, i felt like i was a fraud or something lol when that’s simply not the case!! they even wrote pied piper for people like ME but honestly, i didn’t start to “relax” until around a year ago, when life got so weird bc of the pandemic and i just kinda got my priorities in check?? idk lol

but the point is,,, i had those thoughts of like “i need to show that i love them the most!!” for many years and it was honestly really tiring and stressful despite knowing on a sensible level that bangtan would not care if i was streaming 24/7 or writing 3 page essays daily expressing my love for them. is a simple “i love you” not enough? i think the meaning of “i love you” feels watered down sometimes because of how often some people might say it, which is why i probably felt like saying just that wasn’t enough. i forgot that love isn’t supposed to be weighted, that we should reserve measurements for cooking and keep it out of love. and yea, it might have taken me 4 years to get to this point where i don’t feel like showing my admiration is a competition, but at least i got there in the end lol

i’m glad you were able to relate to my letter btw!! i kinda word-vomited that letter an hour before midnight, but thankfully someone was able to understand what i meant LOL ty anon and i love you (as simple as that!)

[reputayswift]

Ever since I saw your exile literati gifset I cant get over how cyclical their relationship is! They really have seen this film before!! Why do you think Rory keeps coming back to Jess especially when she’s in a relationship with someone else?

Hey there! First off, thank you for checking out my Exile edit, I appreciate that a lot :) Secondly, this question sent me into an analytical spiral which is why you’re getting a response a few days late lol! I wanna preface this by saying that I’ve read a LOT of GG takes so anything I’m about to say has probably definitely been said more eloquently and concisely by someone else. Also I’m not going to get into comparing the boyfriends specifically because 1. I’ve watched the Jess eps more than any other so I don’t feel knowledgeable enough to talk on the other bfs 2. Conflict scares me :)

Okay so!

1. My (Somewhat) Reasonable Answer

I think they have a certain level of understanding that draws them back towards each other. I know Jess saying he “knows [Rory] better than anyone” in s6 is pretty controversial in the fandom (and I would never say Jess’s connection with Rory is deeper than her and, say, Lorelai’s) but that theme of “knowing”/mutual understanding crops up a lot for them (I’ve also seen a quote floating around from the writers saying they were intended to have a “meeting-of-the-minds” situation going on but all the sources I found for that were from Tumblr so not sure on the legitimacy of that).

Aside from both being bookworms they’re also both dealing with having others’ narrow expectations placed on them. The people of Stars Hollow (and in Jess’s case, his mother as well) reduce them to archetypes/caricatures of themselves (Town Sweetheart, Bad Boy). We see this pretty clearly when Taylor takes issue with Rory not wanting to play “Ice Cream Queen” once she sets her sights on college and Rory being hailed as the (literal) “poster-child of censorship.” Early on Jess susses out that Rory’s not exactly pleased with having this role forced on her (when Rory complains that her censorship poster is “stupid” Jess responds that “it’s the people who are stupid” and switches around the movie discs to get it taken down), which is one of our first glimpses at this understanding/peeling-back-their-images theme.

Teach Me Tonight has probably some of the most obvious examples of this. When Rory asks Jess why he’s not planning on attending college (when she knows that he’s more than capable, despite his lack of effort in school) he says:

“Ask my mother, she could give you a couple reasons. Oh, and I’m sure Principal Merton can chime in with a few good ones. In fact, ask your mother. She doesn’t know me all that well but I’m sure she could improvise a few things.”

Notice his response has everything to do with others’ uninformed expectations and nothing to do with his own desires! Then we have Rory saying her dream is to be an overseas correspondent and Jess initially thinking it sounds “a little too rough for [her]” (going off of that gentle Town Sweetheart assumption) then immediately pushing that away and assuring her she’ll do it.

Then we have Lorelai’s Graduation Day/The New York ep which is a huge turning point for their relationship! This whole interaction when Rory boards the bus back home really emphasizes the breaking-through-expectations point:

“Why did you come here?... I mean, you ditched school and everything. That's so not you. Why'd you do it?”

“Because, you didn't say goodbye.”

“Oh...Bye, Rory.”

Especially in conjunction with Rory’s confusion regarding her own actions after the fact:

“This is not who I am. If I were to write this down in my diary and I would read it, I would be like, Who is this freak? This isn't me.This isn't my diary. I wouldn't do this. I wouldn't skip school when I have finals coming up to go see a guy that isn't even my guy and end up missing my mother's graduation, which I wanted to be at so badly. That's someone else. That's someone flighty and stupid and dumb and girly.”

So we not only have Rory going against her own responsible schoolgirl image, but also Rory breaking through Jess’s assumption that people expect/desire him to leave (not caring enough for a warning or explanation). My friend @sanssa has a great post expanding on this better than I ever could :)

Alright so! The controversial s6 “WHY DID YOU DROP OUT OF YALE?” ep! Jess showing up (denim jacket, tousled hair, sparkly eyes...) having finally harnessed his own smarts with a published book is perhaps the perfect example of how the Jess x Rory relationship empowers them to seek out their own desires despite expectations:

“Jess, you've got such a great brain. I knew that if you could just sit down and stop shaking it around, you could do something like this. I knew it. I knew it.”

“I know you did...I just basically wanted to show you that. Uh, tell you...tell you that I couldn't have done it without you.”

Fast-forward to their mid-dinner argument, where Jess says:

“I know you better than anyone. This isn't you...What are you doing? Living at your grandparents' place, being in the DAR, no Yale — Why did you drop out of Yale?!

You could (and many have!) argue that this wasn’t his place to interfere (if you’re not invested in Jess I can completely understand how having the boyfriend with the least screen-time show up — tousled and sparkly as he may be — to tell her he knows her best and she’s — in kinder words — wasting her life away would have you saying “Who’s this guy?” lol) but when you look at their history of pushing past each others’ fronts and get to Rory’s resulting realization;

“[Jess is] doing something...I’m not. I mean, what am I doing? I'm living with my grandparents... I'm palling with my grandmother and being waited on by a maid. I come home, and my shoes are magically shined. My clothes are magically clean, ironed, and laid out. My bed is magically turned down. I'm in the DAR? I'm going to meetings and teas and cocktail parties?... And wasting my time partying and drinking, just hanging out doing nothing,”

I personally interpret it as him telling her a hard truth she was shielding herself from accepting. And of course we see his intervention in-part sets off her reconnecting with Lorelai and getting back on track with her schooling/dreams, in much the same way Rory pushing past his “no one expects anything of me so I’m going to do nothing with my life” assumption motivates him to pursue writing more seriously.

Then finally we get to the Revival where Jess finds Rory in a slump again and encourages her to write a book about her and her mother:

“Where is this coming from? What inspired you?”

“I was frustrated. I was talking to Jess —”

...

“Last night I outlined the first five chapters just like that. That’s a sign...This is it, this is what I’m supposed to do.”

TL;DR: They understand each other in a way that lets them see past others’ assumptions/expectations to the true, complicated them in a way that empowers them to follow their dreams and be better versions of themselves

2. My Extremely Biased Hopeless Romantic Answer

There’s some sort of soulmate/red string of fate thing going on, Alexa play Invisible String

[sojourner-between-worlds]

I was tagged by @glorfindelssword. Thank you!

1) why did you choose your url? It's old and cheesy so forgive me for not actually answering and telling you instead that honestly I've been debating since last year changing it to potatosackcrew because it's a Chosen reference and I post a ton about that anymore, lol.

2) any side blogs? I (anonymously) run a network with some friends, and have two others that are mostly inactive actually but: Autistic Peter Parker blog @autisticpeterparkerheadcanons and a general autism blog @autistic-voices. The first used to be super active but idk Endgame killed the MCU for me so I haven't really worked on anything there recently, and the second I had high hopes of using but also I'm also Tired of some things that go on in the community on here no I will not elaborate, maybe I'll use it more eventually.

3) how long have you been on tumblr? Feb. 2018. It feels like longer, but ya know, time has no meaning here.

4) do you have a queue tag? Why have a tag when nothing ever goes in my queue?

5) why did you start your blog in the first place? I was desperate for Narnia content. My blog has since devolved into so much more of a mess though, lol.

6) why did you chose your icon/ pfp? I admittedly had to check what it even was but I really just chose a random photo, lol.

7) why did you choose your header? Also had to look to see what it even was, lol. I don't really know? It was just a photo I liked from our trip to CO 🤷‍♀️

8) what's your post with the most notes? Pretty sure it's my "CS Lewis was not sexist and comparing him to Tolkien does not help your point" post, lol.

9) how many mutuals do you have? At least 7 but I don't actually know. They're all pretty rad though. Love you all. ❤

10) how many followers do you have? Tumblr says 377 but I'm pretty sure they never fixed the problem where that number just kept going up without my actual followers going up, so it's probably closer to 300. Invisible p*rnbots I'm pretty sure still account for 85 of that.

11) how many people do you follow? 46, but they're all people I like so.

12) have you ever made a shitpost? I don't think so? No idea, really.

13) how often do you use tumblr each day? More than I probably should. I'm home alone most of the day, though, and I get lonely. At least I can pretend I have friends this way, lol.

14) did you have a fight/ argument with another blog once? Who won? Yes, but no one actually wins tumblr fights.

15) how do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts? It makes me instantly want to not reblog it. It's my blog and I get to decide what's on it, and I am too old for peer pressure to get to me. It's also usually on news topics which, if you trust tumblr for your news, I don't know how to say this nicely, but you need to really not do that.

16) do you like tag games? I do! ...sometimes I forget to do them, but I still love being tagged! It's like "wait this person thought of me?!?"

17) do you like ask games? I do, but I rarely reblog them. Probably because no one really asks me things when I do, haha.

18) which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous? Couldn't tell ya.

19) do you have a crush on a mutual? That would be awkward since I'm married.

20) tags? I'm extra lazy because it's Sunday so I'm just going to cheat and say @everyone. I wish that worked on here the way it works on Discord, lol.

[peggysousfan]

Anomaly Misfire

This is the fic add on to the edit I had posted previously to do with Bellarke. The Anomaly sends Bellamy back in time to Earth after Primfaya, what will happen when he sees Clarke? This is based on a gif set I saw on Tumblr lol its amazing and looks so real, I wish it were.

"It's been 58 days. By now, Monty should have the algae farm producing." Clarke speaks through a makeshift radio while eating a few berries she found in the valley. Compared to algae, berries were better. "How bad does it suck? No offense Monty." She stops speaking but only hears static. She never gets a reply to her calls. "And I found berries, a whole field of them! They're not very sweet, but they're beautiful. I think that's what they used to make the paint for-"

As Clarke speaks through the radio and turns her head aside to look at the paint on a house, an illuminating green swirl appears seemingly out of no where. A small crackle of lights move through before the green mist vanished, leaving behind something- or rather someone. She stands up from her chair and cautiously steps closer to the man left behind by the mysterious green swirl.

"Clarke?" He whispers with his hands out stretched, unsure how to proceed. Her hair is longer than it was at Sanctum, and from the looks of his surroundings he's back at Shadow Valley.

"Be-Bellamy?!" Her voice cracks a bit as she looks around unsure if she's hallucinating from the radiation and dehydration. She did just discover the valley not too long ago after all.

"Wher-uh... I'm back on Earth? How..." He looks around and walks but before he's aware, a pair of arms wrap around his torso, blonde hair now fills under his chin. He chuckles and embraces her back, but what he doesn't expect is her to panic and start dragging him to the rover. "Clarke? What are you-"

"We have to get you to Becca's lab before the radiation sets in and kills you! Bellamy..." She turns around to face him, worry etched in her face. "It hasn't been five years. Its not safe for you to be here."

He chuckles lightly and halts to a stop, confusing Clarke. She pulls him more but he continues to laugh.

"Bellamy!?"

He takes her hand in his and walks back to the table where she was sitting before he had appeared. He then notices the radio and sighs. Madi was right, she did call to him while he was in space. At this thought he looks around.

"Where's Madi?" Now Clarke is even more confused.

"Who's Madi?"

"Your daughter..."

His words barely process through her mind as they stand near each other. But as Bellamy sees the perplexed expression over Clarke's face, he realizes they haven't met yet. That is, if he's thinking correctly about where and when he is in time.

"Bell I don't have a-" But before she can finish her sentence, she stops and looks to her left. A child stands from a distance and watched them. "Oh my God..."

The little girl runs off and before Bellamy knows it, Clarke runs after her. "Clarke!" But its no use, she can't hear him.

With a huffed breath he runs after her. He catches up to her within moments, trees and branches hanging in his face as he tries to smack them away. Its been a long time since he's been on earth, when things actually made since then. Clarke shouts in Trigedasleng to grab the girls attention, but she keeps going further into the woods. Bellamy stops running when he sees Clarke stop, she's looking at a child with crazed hair from afar. That has to be Madi. He thinks. But in the blink of an eye she runs off again. Clarke doesn't hesitate to run after her and so Bellamy follows them with a roll of his eyes. How can a small child run this fast? Clarke is still ahead of him but her voice echoes through the trees.

"Wait! Are you alone? Are there others?" She stops running to look at her surrounds and stops when she sees the little girl staring at her on the trail. Clarke speaks in trig once more.She says, "You're a nightblood, right?"

Clarke steps forward cautiously, trying to talk down to the girl, but she doesn't move. Instead Clarke does and eventually steps into a bear trap. She screams out in pain from the metal piercing the skin of her leg. Bellamy hears and runs faster. The little girl attacks Clarke in the mean time, attempting to stab her with a knife. She avoid most of the blows but her arm is cut, leaving black to trickle down her arm.

"Clarke!" The valley girl looks up at Bellamy and runs in the opposite direction, but seeing as Clarke is screeching in agony, his main focus on her. Bellamy bends down and helps her out of the bear trap, then carries her back to the village, but not without  fight. He sets her down after a while and she limps into one of the houses.

She grabs her bag on the way to sitting down on a table, ripping her pants leg as she does so. Bellamy tries to help but isn't sure what to do. "Its okay, Bellamy. I-I got it." Her words come out in a stutter as she hurriedly grabs a thread and needle.  At first she hesitates, but proceeds to stitch up the gashes on her leg. The only thing Bellamy can do is sit and listen to her agonizing sounds. After she's done, she passes out from the pain, but not before Bellamy rushes to her side and catches her head.

Clarke stays unconscious for several hours, so long he starts to worry about her. He periodically checks the wound and takes the liberty of cleaning it up as much, and as gently, as he can. But after several more minutes of waiting, and dozing off himself, Clarke wakes and startles at the pain in her leg.

"Hey hey hey! Easy... don't hurt yourself." Clarke jumps slightly before remembering Bellamy's presence. It takes a few moments before she realizes he isn't burning from radiation.

"You're... you're okay?" Her arm reaches out to him, inspecting the skin on his neck, hands, and face.

"Me? Of course I'm fine. You're the one that stepped into a bear trap."

Clarke thinks for a moment as the memories flood back into her mind, but right now the tap isn't her main concern. "No, that's not- Bellamy... how are you still alive? The radiation levels aren't safe. And how did you even get back?"

"Uhh... well I can answer one question." He shrugs and smiles, though she's still unhappy with his answer. The glare from her face tells him that very thought, though it is also contorted in pain. "Abby injected us with nightblood before returning to Sanctum." But as he says this his eyes widen and he flinches. "Sorry I didn't mean to... I'm sorry."

"For what? And when did my mom make you a nightblood? You went off to space because the blood wasn't tested. I was the only one who took the syringe and injected myself." It was then he realized that Abby was still alive in the bunker. Clarke hadn't lost her yet. He feels like he should warn her, tell her whats coming, but then again who knows what will happen if he does. "And why are you looking at me like that? You still haven't answered my question of how you got here." Bellamy freezes and looks away from her.

"Look, Clarke, I don't know how I got here. One minute I'm in the Gabriel's tent holding Octavia after she's stabbed, then I'm taken by invisible people through the anomaly. I fought them off and I ended up falling and then landing here."

For several moments she sits quietly trying to process everything Bellamy has just said, and yet none of it makes sense to her. "What!?!? You were just in space with Monty, Raven, and the others. Octavia is still in the bunker and I have no idea who Gabriel is or what the 'Anomaly' is either. And what is Sanctum?"

"Uhh... shit."

"Bellamy?" She presses for more answers but he doesn't budge.

"It's complicated, okay?"

"Complicated." She echoes his words before trying to stand up. He asks what she's doing but shrugs it off. "You wouldn't understand. It's too complicated." She bites back, causing him to startle.

"Clarke come on. Its not easy to explain."

"Really? Then what is?" She turns to look at him over her shoulder and he freezes in place unsure what she means. Clarke scoffs at his confused look and sits facing him. "Bellamy we were born in space, sent to earth with no knowledge if it was inhabitable, then set up camp and fought a war with savages for land. Then Mount weather happened, I was on the run from literally very clan that existed only to be stuck in a worse situation fighting an AI and having to become a nightblood and fight off a whole city of innocent people. Then after almost dying I  find out the world was once again going to burn down into nothing, which left us having to choose and send hundreds of our own people to their deaths! Which left me one of the only people left on Earth above ground. But no, I wouldn't know complicated."

Bellamy inhales a deep breath and sighs, knowing everything she said is true. But what happens next is even worse than what they've faced before. Everything on earth were trial runs building up to Sanctum and the war raging on there.

"You really wanna know?" She gives him to look and he chuckles. Of course she wants to know. "Well, believe it or not I'm from the future."

"Future? Seriously?" He laughs at this and sits back in the chair he occupied before she woke up.

"Yeah. Seriously." Clarke looks at him through the moonlight and does realize he seems different, but she couldn't' think of how much time had changed since then. "Earth becomes uninhabitable within a matter of weeks after 6 years pass by. Once that happens we leave. Travel in our sleep to another planet where...things are the same as Earth. Trouble every where we go. We tried to be peaceful, civil even, but-" As Bellamy stops talking his voice cracks. The memory of figuring out Josephine taking over Clarke's body still haunts him.

"But what?" Her voice is soft and light, curious at why he stopped talking.

"They tried to kill you. I thought you were dead, Clarke." At this Clarke sits up straighter, trying to ignore searing pain in her lag as she does so. "To me and everyone else, you died and there was nothing we could do. There was nothing I could do! Peace was the goal and even though we tried to not.. to- dammit!"

"Bellamy..." She reaches out to him as he jumps from his chair and combs his hand through his hair. His mind fills back with the emotion, the dread, of thinking he had lost her forever.Clarke reaches out and touches his arm, grounding him back to reality.

"I tried, Clarke. I tried to keep the peace but... it didn't work out." he explains everything he could. From the mind drives, to nightblood and its connection, to Russel, Josephine, the Primes, and Sanctum. As well as the rebellion and the strange Anomaly that had taken Octavia back. Bellamy told her everything. As he does so, she sits back and groans from the pain. He reaches out to her but she says she's fine. "Clarke?"

"I-I don't know what to say to that, Bellamy. But now I understand why you apologized for mentioning my mom." He sighs and reaches out to her again, this time she accepts and holds his hand. "So all of this happens and what? We can't change anything can we?"

"I don't think we can."

Silence falls between them as the whirlwind of information is absorbed between them. For the rest of the night nothing else is said, they simply stay, hands together, and content on this moment.

For Clarke it has only been 58 days, but for Bellamy it has been over 70 years with a moment of content silence between them. A lingering, unsaid, feeling moving through the air. In his time living in space, Bellamy never thought he would end up with Echo, and yet he did. His mind says he cares for her, but his heart yearns for another, and still their relationship lingered on. But forces beyond his control tell him that its up to him to take fate in his own hands and be with the one he truly cared for-  the one he truly loved- and to do that was to atone for their past mistakes, if only to create a path for their future.

[sybright]

Ask Tag Thing

Thank you @munkustrap2019 for tagging me!

I’ve never been tagged before so this is a little scary but here we go!

Name: Call me by my url, I don’t really want to share my name on here. 

Gender: Female.

Star sign: Aries.

Height: 5′1″-ish.

Sexuality: I mostly identify as asexual, but if we’re being really specific then I’d say autochorissexual/anegosexual, which are both awful to spell. Romantically speaking, I identify as alloromantic because it’s pretty vague and idk, I’m still figuring it out. 

Favorite book: It’s been a long time since I’ve properly read a book but I’ll say either The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum or Flipped by Wendelin Van Draanen.

Current time: 8:44 pm.

Average amount of sleep: My sleep schedule is so sporadic at the moment, I don’t even know anymore, probably like 4-8 hours. 

Dogs or cats: I’ve been a dog person for most of my life, but my family got cats in September and now I’m kinda torn, so both I guess?

Number of blankets I sleep with: Just one. 

Dream job: I honestly don’t know. 

Blog established: October 2019, although I wasn’t that active till around February 2020.

Favorite animal: Chickens (yes really). If we’re talking wild animals, then I’d say honey badgers. 

Number of followers: 13, although three of them are invisible, (btw I love y’all, I don’t know why you’re following my shitty blog but I appreciate every single one of you).  

Reason for url: Demandra (the ship name for Cassandra and Demeter) is my favorite rarepair ship in Cats! I like both the movie version (which isn’t really considered a rarepair since their interactions are so prominent in the film), as well as the stage-show version, but I prefer the stage-show version.

Something I’m grateful for: This is kinda stupid but I’d have to say tumblr. I’ve been pretty sad lately and coming on here always makes me feel better. I like it a lot more than other social media sites, which is funny considering all the shit tumblr gets from general society. I think I like it because no one, except for like two of my followers, actually knows who I am. And since no one knows me, I don’t feel like I need to filter myself on here, I can just be myself. It’s also just nice to have a space where I can just scream about Cats the musical and know that no one is going to judge me lol. 

I’m too nervous to tag specific people so I’m just gonna say that if you see this, then you’re tagged, but you don’t have to take part in the tag if you don’t want to.

Edit: This post has been edited due to a url change.

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on TRH Book 1 Chapter 5

• Now that we are five chapters into this story, now seems like a good time to get the masterlist of this series out! 😁 Which I will be doing shortly after this QT is up. If you've missed the other chapters, you'll be more easily able to find them all there! I'll also be reblogging my TRR series masterlist sometime this week, since my TRR Book 1 Chapter 5 chapter is close to getting finished as well.

• I'm hoping to get this one out early, it's an extremely light chapter for the most part. It's practically filler, filled with little vignettes between the characters here and there and mostly diamond scenes. The heavy stuff inevitably seems to be left for the actual Walker Ranch (sigh).

• Here are the tags to block if you don't want my QTs to clog up your dash: #long post, #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs. For now a friend of mine is helping get the read-mores on the main posts, until Tumblr actually does something to make them work on a phone again.

• TW: Brief mentions of the Dr Ramirez scene in Hana's playthrough, and infertility.

• Screenshot Credits:

Hana - @pixieferry

Maxwell - Abhirio's YouTube channel

Drake - @thefirstcourtesan

Liam - Well, me

• Besides being mostly filler stuff, this chapter had a lot of diamond scenes. Two outfit changes (one OOTD and one lingerie for the LI), a group scene and the book's first character scene (Liam).

• A few people I know have been asking me about the differences between "character scenes" and "LI scenes" (and indeed a lot of people were confused by my use of these terms in my Book 3 QTs). So once I get to my general thoughts section, I'll elaborate on those.

• Title: The Open Road

Alternative Title: Enjoy The Fillers, Dear Fans, Coz You Got A Walker-Storm Comin'!

• We're now on our way to the States, barely days after we got back to our own estate. The Council is looking after stuff in exactly the way they have since we left for our honeymoon, except that now it's lost all its core group members besides Olivia. Her, Hana and Kiara must probably share whatever few brain cells exist in that Council between each other.

• If you've unlocked the "casual clothing" scenes for the LIs in Book 2 (Liam's t-shirt, Hana's crop top, Drake's Henley and Maxwell's muscle shirt and Bubbles necklace), that's what they'll be wearing on their journey this chapter.

• Maxwell is now the self-appointed Royal Entertainment Committee.

• Bertrand WOULD be freaking out about spoons.

• Our OOTD today is an off-shoulder crop top with floral designs, and ripped shorts - paired with a blue and pink statement necklace and a few bracelets. Esther DuPont and literally every other MC is more confident about pulling this outfit off than I will ever be.

• Maxwell suggests the outfit in the Liam, Drake and Hana playthroughs, and Hana suggests it in Maxwell's.

• First Stop: Our old workplace in NY! Our manager is no longer around (probably got fired lol) but Daniel is! Or as I still like to call him, Not-Henney 😂

• Hana is so cutely excited about visiting the place where it all begin, a place she must have till now only heard about in the other LIs' stories. Sigh. Wish we'd brought her here earlier.

• Not-Henney has issues with how little attention Maxwell gave to the MC's origins. @callmetippytumbles points out that there's not much you can expect from an author who put his face on the cover of a book about you. Cmon, Not-Henney.

• Told you "Things are Great" would become a meme.

• He now asks what the experience of being an actual Queen/Duchess is like. You can go for the funny route (glam parties that'll make Beyonce jealous. Oh idk, does Beyonce like an overabundance of apples?), the realistic route (speaking about everyone's expectations weighing on you), and the romantic route, which brings out some cute responses in both Not-Henney and the LIs, ranging from delight to awkwardness.

• Oh snap. The paps are here.

• We make a run for it (in two options, with Daniel's help), and keep driving. Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, the MC mentions a motorcycle when speaking about Drake, which makes me wonder in we will end up having a motorcycle scene in Texas itself. I mean, the writers did mention being excited about a scene featuring one in their livestream.

• Maxwell picks the next stop, and it's that engagement barn we built for Liam, apparently. Or the house of Robert, Steve Tennyson's (PM) dad. Where he has found the "biggest ball of string". Only Joy and Hope, my corgis, seem even remotely happy about this.

•

...Okay Maxwell.

Hana needs to roast people more. Roast EVERYONE in that friend group and EVERYONE in that court!

• Fun Fact: This chapter was released on the 50th anniversary of the historic 1969 Apollo 11 moon landing 😁

• As proven from this scene, the few brain cells this group collectively has, all belong to Hana.

• It's now time to check out what the group brought as provisions:

MC: Nothing, she's only here to ask what everyone else brought

Drake: Jerky

Maxwell: Tequila (!!)

Liam: IDK Esther I thought a four-course meal would just fall upon our laps from the heavens

Hana: ME! Bring cookies that I've NOT warmed by the fires wrought from the bowels of the deepest hells??? BLASPHEMY.

As always Hana saves everyone's ass this fine day. I actually quite like this bit with Hana, because it veers a tiny bit more towards "perfectionist" than just simply "perfect". Hana would be the kind of person to worry excessively over being a good hostess, since that's something she's been learning since she was a little girl (remember the tea scene in the flashback).

• We now stop by at Washington DC - Hana's suggestion - because she wanted to look at the cherry blossoms. I was quite chuffed about this when I found out coz I always used to have her down as more of a "plum blossom" girl, and this is pretty close 😁

• That little bit in DC where speaks of the area as "a marvel of both nature and civic engineering" is a nice touch, since Liam has always been associated with monuments and national legends.

• THE PAPS?? AGAIN????

• ...If my spouse and I have to spend ALL our time answering questions about babymaking, where are we going to find the time to babymake, mediapeople? Ever thought of that? Huh? Huh??

• This option is hands down the best fucking option in this chapter lol:

YOU'RE ALL SUCH DORKS ISTG

• We're now in a small town where Liam wants to mingle and be one with the locals. He's not been very successful in doing this in Cordonia (where people can literally look at his face and figure out who he is), but because it's the US and not many people might recognize him here, his chances of not being caught are better.

• This is the first character scene in the new series. It's pretty alright, not a lot of insights or anything, just a simple scene where Liam gets to not worry about acting like a royal, occasionally acknowledge his privilege, be charmingly naive, order milkshakes, and listen to the MC's insights on how she will bring up her/their kid. He does mention it opens some new perspectives on understanding his people, but I'm not sure we'll get to see much of what learnings he will put into action because, yknow, Cordonian commoners are practically invisible.

• This scene is also proof that you can take Liam out of the court but you can't take the court out of Liam.

• It begins with what the MC calls "a sidewalk hello", where she can either guide or massively troll him. The first two options are awkward as hell (I did like the bowing one though lolol coz she tells him he's probably made someone's day with his "courtly manners"), and the third is for Liam to simply ignore the other person and stare at his phone.

• Next scene involves getting Liam to buy groceries...coz he's never brought groceries. Why would he Esther he has a staff.

• They have a choice between fruit, nachos with everything on them (and they weren't kidding about "everything") and chocolates. I chose fruit.

• You also get some cute tidbits about Liam's life growing up in the palace. Here are the important ones:

- Constantine and Eleanor agreed they wanted Liam to be self-sufficient but "disagreed on how far to take that principle" (given what Liam says about her in one of the other options, I'm guessing Eleanor wanted to take it a lot more further).

- Liam can make spaghetti carbonara!!!

- Laundry: So there was this one time Leo and Liam played tag close to a champagne tower at an event, and it fell down. Eleanor insisted they "clean up the mess [they] made. A reasonable lesson in decorum and consequences". I kinda like this little crumb of info considering there is so little we know about her.

- Eating leftovers: Liam used to have sleepovers at Jackson and Bianca's quarters, and he tells us he was "proud to help Drake's mother microwave the leftovers" coz to his little mind he thought that was cooking 😁 I know, I know, I believed my mom when she put a tiny bit of coffee powder in my milk and told me it was actual coffee haha.

- Doesn't know how to do dishes. He knows soap and water is involved lol.

• The final part of the scene involves Liam treating himself at a diner with (what else!) a milkshake, while casually chatting with the MC about how she feels about the simplicity of her past life, and the way she plans to bring up her (or their) own child.

• Liam not immediately understanding that utensils are self-serve reminds me of Hana's confusion at the idea of a McDermots not having wait-staff.

• The MC has options for how to respond to Liam's question about bringing up a child - 1. I'd like my child to be practical and aware of their role, they don't need to learn how to fold a bed sheet or do dishes. 2. I want my child to have a bit of both worlds so that they're more flexible in their approach. 3. My child should be acutely aware of what the common person in Cordonia goes through if they're going to have to rule fairly over them. These three options in some way allow you to imagine what the MC would be like as a mother, and what upbringing this 'heir' might have.

•

I've never actually seen YOU make much of an effort to find out in Cordonia.

• There's also a tiny bit about Regina that follows this optional dialogue if you're married to him, which I really like: Liam states to Esther that those are "wise words from the wisest queen I know", following which she points out that he's lucky Regina hasn't heard it. Liam's response to that is: "after all this time, I think she'd agree with me". Regina's kinda grown on me over the series, and I do hope we see her again!

• Overall the scene's alright. It's there, it's cute, it's filler like the rest of the chapter. Only time will tell if it will actually result in anything in the future, which kind of leads me to wonder what Character Scenes are going to look like going forward (now that the LI scenes mostly perform the function for both characterization and romance). But the biggest takeaway right now for me is what Liam has to say about his parents, and optionally about his mother. I think that may point towards something later on.

• LMAO @ the random stranger in the diner optionally thinking Liam's brother might be Thor. Leo would be pleased 😂 Also a nice touch to see her recognize us again at the lingerie store if we buy both scenes!

• We now have a scene featuring the couples in their hotel bedroom, where the LI and MC have either had a bit of a wild night, or where the MC has just finished her at-home fertilization procedure (if the LI is Hana). There's a little chit-chat here and there about the moments they have now and about privacy, but it's different in the case of Hana.

• You finally get the chance to ask about how she feels, and this is the response:

• That's it then, I guess 😒 I'm honestly not surprised, given how much in a hurry they were to have Hana concentrate on the MC in the doctor's office itself. I'll expand more on this later.

LIAM. YOU FOOL. I'M WEARING IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

• Honestly I don't see the point in having the MC suggest the lingerie in Liam's playthrough (the others basically make the suggestion instead, and they say "well, you're wearing that", instead, implying that they're talking about what she has on already) if they're not going to code it properly.

• The actual lingerie scenes are pretty cute! And fun! And comes with cool dialogues options, and this:

• NOW I know why Hana's lingerie was head and shoulders above the rest. SHE WAS THE ONE WHO CHOSE IT.

• So here's a rundown of all four LI scenes:

- Liam: The clerk from the store (who was also the girl who noticed Liam in the Incognito Scene if you bought that) recognizes Liam and the MC, freaks out and closes the store so they can shop in full privacy. The rest of it is cute playful banter, like expressing surprise at this being Liam's first time at a lingerie store. She then chooses black silk boxers with a golden baroque design. LMAO trust the MC to get him a Versace. 😂

- Drake - Tells the MC he likes it when she takes the lead. The MC then gets to ask him whether he would be down to wearing handcuffs or pink feathers. To the second option, Drake claims that he would "wear a tutu and crown if you told me you had a thing for the sugar fairy". LMAO they really are desperate to show us how much they learned from the "pink cake" fiasco. Pity how they couldn't teach themselves to treat their one female LI with respect. Anyway, the MC chooses red silk boxers with polka dots (!!)

- Maxwell - This scene is a fever dream from start to finish. Maxwell is happy and excited and SUPER SUPER enthusiastic, asking the MC to drop a beat so he can break into a dance at the store. The MC chooses blue silk boxers with squid designs on them. EVEN MAXWELL CANNOT CONTAIN HIS SHOCK. (PS: This scene marks the third appearance of "release the kraken!" 😄).

- Hana - Hana has apparently seen shops like these from the outside but has never been to one (same sis same). She speaks of how she never had anyone to do it for, which is why she is so happy about it now coz she can do it for the MC. A sweet, simple conversation. The difference here is that Hana knows what she wants, and chooses the lingerie herself: a beautiful lace and fishnet number with garter belt and stockings. She looks amazing and part of that is because unlike her friends, she realizes that her wife has deplorable fashion sense.

• It's now the next day, and Drake tries really hard to hoodwink everyone into making his "next stop" the Walker ranch, but the Royal Entertainment Committee threatens him with an "intimidating interpretive dance performed by me" (is he going to jump out the car and sing Kiki Do You Love Me too?). It's enough to scare Drake into picking a nicer stop.

• It's now time to listen to some tunes!! Everyone squabbles a little over what music to choose and the MC gets to pick either of them:

- Hana's Choice: A piano concerto that Liam loves, makes Drake cry and Maxwell go all happy-sleepy.

- Liam's Choice: Chartbusters. "Top 40s". Drake is surprised coz the last time they drove together, Liam made him listen to 52 versions of a single Bach sonata, to which Liam cheekily responds that doing so made him figure out which one was Drake's favourite.

- Maxwell's Choice: Some song that Maxwell did a deejay mix to, and apparently Liam (and presumably Drake) lent backing vocals to. Going by Liam's advance apology it must be pretty fucking terrible.

- Drake's Choice: Classic rock tunes that he can do air-guitar to. Liam concedes it has rhythm, Drake responds that it has rhythm and attitude. He tries to do air guitar in the car but Hana, panicking, reminds him that he's the one driving.

- What Would Have Been Bertrand's Choice/We Shall Drive In Silence!: Apparently when the MC says this, Maxwell says that she channeled Bertrand so hard "he flashed before my eyes". The MC reasons that if no one wants to listen to anyone else's music they might as well be quiet. Maxwell tries to bring up other alternatives such as playing his kazoo-tar, at which point EVERYONE agrees that silence is golden.

• This bit is one of my favourites in the chapter. Probably the second after "say cheese" haha.

• It's Hana's turn to drive and Maxwell is helping her by asking she carve that path from her heart. Which she does, even though she has mentally memorized the next twelve steps she needs to take.

• Liam drives, explaining when the MC asks that Drake was his first driving instructor (Drake had his licence already and they may have used a royal golf course or two for practice runs).

• Maxwell finds a new waypoint: Thrilltown. His reasoning is quite poignant (everything is changing, the MC and LI - in some cases him - will be having a child soon and everyone will be busy in their respective roles, when will everyone be together like this again?). The rest of the group comfort and reassure him, stating that they will probably see more of each other now. In any case...perhaps to Maxwell this is like a last hurrah to the carefree life he used to have.

• We start with choosing rides. Maxwell and Drake choose The Accelerator, which Maxwell describes as "fast. furious. and it uses gravity at speeds that Thrilltown can't legally release to the public!". Hana and Liam choose the "gentler" option - the carousel - which has you ride unicorns, griffins, dragons and other fantastical beings.

• I'm surprised the writers don't have him react even a little to the carousel, considering one of his scariest experiences took place on one (Book 1 Chapter 16). Just show him say "yeah...I'll pass" or show some emotion or other. It's like that armoury scene in his playthrough of Book 3 Chapter 11 where Madeleine could mock Liam about his feelings for the MC and Maxwell is pretty much sitting there not reacting. It's so lazy. I can't.

• Carousel with Liam and Hana: I loved this one, very cute. The carousel has fantasy elements and mythical animals, things that both Liam and Hana love. The MC gets to sit on a phoenix (like her optional Valtoria sigil!), Liam on a dragon (like the royal family's old crest! Dom would be proud) and Hana on a unicorn (which suits her particular style of whimsy). It's cute and fun and sounds exactly like the kind of thing Liam and Hana would enjoy.

The Accelerator with Maxwell and Drake: They call it EXTREME, and it lives up to its name. Maxwell is ecstatic obviously because he's a thrill-seeker and a ride like this is completely in his wheelhouse. Drake gets caught red-handed handed actually enjoying the ride.

• We try out something called The Vortex of Terror, where Liam challenges his friends to not scream up until the end of the ride. Ironically he's the first one to cave 🤣🤣

• "I accept your terms, Liam...as long as you're prepared to lose". Badass enough to challenge the king of the country xD (considering the way that ride goes, I think she was right haha).

• I need more Competitive, Sarcastic Hana outside of cute group scenes.

• One of two people can win this challenge: either the MC or Hana. If the MC wins, she gets to hoist herself on the LI's shoulders towards the next ride. If Hana wins, she perches herself on top of Drake's because he's pretty damn tall.

• Our last ride is called "Lover's Leap" and it's pretty much the romantic portion of the group scene, really.

At the end of it, the LI brings you a green candy drink, and then lets you know how this trip to Thrilltown is representative of their journey together and the change the MC has brought to their lives.

• Both Hana and I have no freaking clue what Liam means when he says "I call shotgun" before they head out.

• Lol @ Cordonia having its own version of "Ninety Nine Bottles of Beer on the Wall". And of course it's going to feature Cordonian Rubies 🤣

• We now reach the ranch, where those of us who didn't marry Drake meet his mother Bianca for the very first time (in every other playthrough she is called "The Rider" and in Drake's her sprite is addressed by name).

• There ends the chapter, on a 'suspicious' note, the kind that seems to sound like things are suspicious but they're probably not. Bertrand's head must be exploding from the lack of spoons.

General Thoughts:

• It's a good thing this filler chapter exists, even if it's mostly inconsequential fluff, because at least that's one chapter less to deal with BertVannah and Drake and his family.

• It's also pretty expensive because the writers knew their crowd by now and know that that crowd is willing to spend.

• The scenes were in keeping with the mood of the chapter - light and fluffy, lots of friendship and some amount of romance. I ended up liking the free short scenes more than any of the diamond ones this chapter honestly.

• So...on the outset, it seems good that the MC is able to check on Hana, post the visit to Dr Ramirez. Hearing Hana's answer, however, brought back every issue I've ever had with the way they've written Hana.

I mean, sure, not everyone reacts the same way to such painful news. I understand that. But here the writers are basically using Hana to minimize what she's going through. They use her to dismiss her own pain with "oh that's okay, I'm just happy that at least you can carry that baby". All that proves is that the female LIs' experiences and pain mean nothing in front the MC's needs.

I've spoken before about the numerous times Hana's pain had been brushed aside or her space eaten into, to favour particular characters, and this just happens to be a repeat of the same formula. This is especially bad because it proves that the only reason they put Hana through this kind of hell in the first place is so that only the MC can carry the child. Her condition isn't allowed to be anything else other than a plot convenience: not an opportunity to open a conversation on this, nor to help develop her as a character. It's merely a narrative device meant to make coding easier. It's dismissive, lazy and reeks of a deplorable lack of care. And again I have to ask, why put her through this if you're so desperate to ignore it afterwards??

• The other big problem is that considering the gravity of that situation, why is checking on her an option rather than actual default dialogue?? If you choose the option to continue talking about playlists instead, the topic just never emerges again. Again I have to ask, what the hell kind of wife is the MC? I mean even before they got the news, the MC was pretty much doing nothing. She wasn't planning for Hana, she wasn't thinking much in terms of what to do for her, everything seems to just revolve around her even in a scenario where either one could have been a mother.

• The lingerie scene seems to me to have elements of a type of diamond scene in the flagship series - the ones where we could buy new casual clothing for our LIs in NY. The LI requires a new look, the MC suggests for a change and often picks out something that she thinks would work (some of her choices - like Liam's pants or Drake's sunglasses are...questionable 😅), and from then on this would be their option for ultra-casual occasions. The one casualwear scene that is different from all these is Maxwell's: he gets his sleeveless shirt and Bubbles necklace at a shop in Coney Island, during the group scene (I think part of this was that they were attempting a step-by-step LI-upgrade because they were a new couple at that point...which was why his first 30 diamond scene was during the Gala, after they'd been together for a little while. Still doesn't excuse all the ways they ignored his background and history though).

The main difference between the casualwear scenes and the lingerie ones is that the first dealt put the MC and LI in different situations and dealt with different issues (therefore was a scene of its own) and the second really just revolved around the lingerie. Perhaps the lingerie scene would be what you'd call an 'extended outfit option'? As opposed to something that's a scene all on its own?

• I was actually quite surprised we got a character scene in this series. Given how much they'd drastically cut down on them in favour of beefing up their LI scenes more, I was fully expecting not to see them. I do prefer them to the LI scenes sometimes, because my LI is not the only one I want to be keeping tabs on, and I do want to know what's happening in their lives.

• What is the difference between the two? I hear some of you ask. Well, good question because I'm about to launch into one of my long-winded explanations again.

• Diamond Scenes in TRR/H: I've been holding off on writing about these, since I believed that the series probably had done away with character scenes and preferred to use LI scenes for both romance and development. With this chapter, I now understand that's not the case.

• So...simply put, the difference between an Character Scene and an LI scene, is that the first focuses on the same character in all playthroughs (eg. no matter who you are romancing, if you buy these scenes it's Hana who will play Snow Angels with you, or Drake who will go fishing with you), and the second focuses on who you are engaged/married to (eg. If I'm romancing Hana, I will not be going to the movies with Liam. If I'm romancing Maxwell, I will not be having a cake testing session with Drake).

During Books 1 and 2, when the MC wasn't altogether exclusive with any LI as such, each character would have their own specific scene which expanded further on their characterization and gave the MC a chance to learn more about them. Most of the romance in these scenes were by choice, with the exception of a few lines here and there. The writers tried to continue this way of formatting diamond scenes even beyond Liam's proposal, but the amount of backlash from the portions of the scenes that involved the MC cheating on her confirmed LI...kind of made them backtrack on this plan quite a bit.

Book 3 switched the format up a little. It was similarish in a lot of ways to RoE, except that unlike that book (where the other two would disappear once you got engaged to one), we were also friends with the other LIs. Besides outfits and plot development scenes (such as the one in the Nevrakis replica armory with Olivia and Gladys) and group scenes, the book also offered two types of scenes for the reader to connect with the characters they liked:

1. LI Scenes: These scenes are meant for the LI the MC is marrying, and are coded differently based on that. This kind of scene was first used in the series in the first chapter of Book 3, where the MC and LI could comfort each other in the safe house. The initial chapters had a similar approach to the scenes as RoE Book 3 (where Mr Sloan, Leo and Dean all ended up sounding like each other), in that the dialogues sounded pretty cut-and-paste, with little to no actual variations beyond a few things (an example of this was how - in the Book 3 Chapter 6 Spa Scene in Applewood - all the LIs spoke of being "dumb in love" with the MC - which suited certain LIs, but sounded extremely jarring on others.

During Book 3, a high number of complaints about the series revolved around this copy-paste routine for the LIs, mostly because the characters were so different from each other, and wouldn't speak the same or even have the same experiences. Around Book 3 Chapter 8, major shifts began to happen in the way these scenes were written, starting with the Movie-going Scene in Castelserraillian. Post that chapter, and the hiatus, there was a significant decrease in the number of individual character scenes, and an increase in both number and quality of the LI scenes. It is very possible that they found juggling both stressful and dialed back on one to personalize the other further.

2. Character Development Scenes: These were scenes with the LI that you got regardless of whether you were marrying them or not. This scene would be viewed over all playthroughs, with differences based on whether you were marrying them or not. If you were not marrying them, these scenes would appear neutral and the romantic options would simply not be there, or be replaced by more neutral ones. Examples of such scenes include Drake's Cordonian Waltz Scene in Fydelia (Book 3 Chapter 3), Liam's Gastrodiplomacy Scene in Castelserraillian (Book 3 Chapter 7), Hana's Polo Scene in Portavira (Book 3 Chapter 5) and Maxwell's Armoury Scene in Lythikos (Book 3 Chapter 11).

The most important thing to remember is that these scenes are expected to be coded differently (according to your relationship with said LI), not only by adding romantic options for the MC to choose, but also in the actions of the characters by default. For instance, the Fydelia Cordonian Waltz scene in Drake's playthrough incorporates - by default - all the sensuality you should be finding in this waltz, while his friendly playthrough is merely the MC teaching him the basics so they have an edge over Neville. By default, if you buy the Gastrodiplomacy scene as Liam's fiancée, the chocolate souffle you sampled with him would feature at your wedding reception.

I say the scenes were expected to be coded differently, because very often they were not. In a lot of cases the only proof you'd have in those scenes that the LI and MC were even together were from the MC's actions. For instance, even though Hana was going to be a duchess on marriage to the MC, the same as Drake - only Drake got to speak in detail about it. This opportunity came for Hana very briefly only by Chapter 14, well past the midpoint of Book 3.

• So when Book 3 began the formula was mostly "leave the character scenes for developing the LI's issues or getting them to teach something, and concentrate on nothing else but the romance for your LI scenes". However this wasn't exactly workable given how different each LI was and therefore how odd some of their dialogue sounded. The dial back is understandable (though, as someone who has looked through various playthroughs in this book, I can tell you the imbalances found across character scenes were on a whole different level).

• Why I've elaborated on this is to give context to a question I now have about the narrative: what are the Character Scenes going to look like from here on out? Post the hiatus, they would vary - they could be mostly plot-driven, or fun and light but not much depth or variation, or fun and light, and also opening up diverging conversations based on your relationship. Now that they seemed to have locked down some format in this book at least, what's it going to sound like?

The Liam Character Scene today was fun, light, had default differences based on whether you were marrying him or not, but ultimately had very little to give to the story other than a few facts about Liam's home life and (in a way that expands on what we already know about her and her dynamic with Constantine) his mother. What exactly does he learn? What new insights is he getting as a King who self-admittedly exists and operates in a "statesman's bubble"?

It also remains to be seen whether buying this scene will have any effect of future events - like Liam's Applewood Tour Scene, where his retelling of King Fabian's story had an impact on our conversation with Kiara's mother Joelle. I'm probably going to keep track on how these character scenes are being written in this series, considering that we already have a pretty good idea of how their LI scenes are done.

• Twice I've seen Eleanor associated with pasta. In Book 1 Liam mentions simple tomato pasta as a childhood dish that reminded of his mother, and here shortly after he speaks about his parents he mentions knowing to cook spaghetti carbonara. IDK what that's supposed to mean but I'm bringing it up anyway. I'm mean, what if it's a part of Auvernese cuisine 😂

• I guess that's it for this week! Time for me to scram and finish my Book 1 Chapter 5 QT too before the next chapter drops!