#Poor Reggie already has a hard time and then add this? I can just imagine late 20's early 30's Reggie having these troubles and it's just

[moonraccoon-exe]

I love all your stuff with regclar and gladnis so I thought of a few questions for you to answer, Love ... ;)) According to your regclar A/B/O verse, Gladio is an alpha and therefore Iggy would be an omega. However, I imagine that Regis and Clarus tried for pups but had many miscarriages in the beginning of their marriage so when they heard that Iggy and Gladio were expecting, what was their reaction? :) WELCOME BACK OLD PAL!

HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU’RE A CUPCAKE, I SEE HAVE A WARM HELLO!!! ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ.���ｏ♡

((gonna keep answering to you under the headcanons))

Aaaw, the scenario you propose is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sweet and cute omg!!! MY HEART IS SO FULL ;-; <3 

I see Iggy as a good beta, but for the sake of Gladnis he’d make a great omega, yes! Aaw, Regis and Clarus having tried for pups and having miscarriages is such a sad scenario, but it also sounds so accurate...? Perhaps what with Regis (and the Lucis Caelum line in general) being frail when it comes to health and such ;-; THE POOR BABIES

Okeh then, let’s get to work!

A/B/O verse: Regis & Clarus react to Gladnis expecting

Iggy and Gladio knew of the hard time Regis and Clarus had to have kids, so they could only imagine this meant a lot to them. Hence, they didn’t just drop the news, they wanted to make it a little more special. 

Have you ever seen one of those “Man knows he’s going to be grandpa” videos? Basically Regclar’s whole reaction <3

Iggy and Gladio were to have lunch with Regclar. By the time they finished and were just talking, Gladio and Iggy said they had a gift. 

Clarus is like >:| all wary because these two can be pranksers when they want, and a gift in no special ocassion? Definitely up to something suspicious!

Regis starts opening the gift and fishes what’s inside and it’s- a onesie?

At first Regis and Clarus are like ?? staring at it

Then, basically at the same time, both gasp and turn to look at Gladnis with this...glow. This face just...shocked, and so bright, with these eyes so pure and wide, and so hopeful. Like, the face of hope, it’s just undescribable.

Regis is holding the onesie tight, tight, like he’s holding on for dear life, eyes wide, gleaming, and teary, just looking at Ignis in disbelief. Clarus covered his mouth for a moment, not taking the eyes off the onesie, then he glanced between the two. Gladnis don’t even need to say anything, they just smile at the good papas.

“...really?” Regis asks, but it’s just...this tiny, miserable, pathetic little whisper. Like if they say ‘no’ the entire world will end for real, almost like he doesn’t want to ask.

When Gladnis say yes, Regis just. Breaks. Something in his eyes goes breaks, and he turned to look at Clarus. The Shield seemed like wanting to stay up, but when he makes eye contact with Regis his lower lip quivers and he gets teary in a second. 

It gets really sad in a very pretty way? Regis leans into Clarus’ shoulder and starts crying, and all Clarus can do is hug him and start crying quietly too. It’s sort of bittersweet, because it’s a happy moment but they can’t help it but cry because it’s just...IT’S SO MUCH

Gladnis get up and reach to hug them because ow, my god, how would they not? 

After they calm down, it’s still sniffling and some tear cleaning, but they start asking; since when? Ooh, dear, is it going okay, how are you doing? Oh dear, I’m sorry, it’s just...I’m just so happy for you two :’( 

Neither Regis nor Clarus could sleep that night. It was a mix of overwhelming emotions. It was excitement, eagerness, worry, shock, and the bittersweet sensation of before. 

Straight away, both Regis and Clarus get into a very protective mode with them, particularly Iggy, and they get super attentive. It can even rub in overprotection, so Gladio tries to tell them when they don’t have to worry too much but doesn’t have the heart to tell them off, because he understands. It’s not just some overreacting grandparents to be being excessively spoiling, it’s a pair of grandparents to be who went through a really tough time losing kids before getting to have them, so of course they must be remembering and worrying over it happening again :(

Regis particularly can’t seem to get off Ignis and giving him attention.

Clarus thinks he’s not being more protective than he needs, without noticing that he’s starting to accompany them everywhere and keeping this...protective aura while going with them, like just his aura is menacing like to keep others away.

Clarus is so ready to fight anyone that dares get too close >:|

That includes Gladio even if he’s the alpha because the kid needs their alpha dad too!!!

Regis is giving Iggy a much more soft-natured attention; making sure he’s comfortable, reminding him of his doctor appointment schedules, heck, he goes through extensive research on appropriate diets and ways to keep Iggy happy and comfy.

Regis can’t help but ask daily if things are going okay. And it’s...honestly sort of heartbreaking. Ignis thanks the attention, but it’s just so sad when Regis asks him that, because it comes out so quiet, so fragile, so profoundly full of a root-deep fear...Iggy can only hear in his voice and see in those gleaming sad innocent eyes the tough times of Regis’ youth when he and Clarus went through this and had it gone wrong :((

 Ignis is being particularly enthusiastic about taking care of himself and following all doctor instructions even if he doesn’t like something because 1. the baby 2. Gladio 3. FOR R E G I S AND  C LA R U S

((Iggy bby why do you never think of yourself too alksjdagdkj))

Some nights, Regis can’t sleep. Clarus has woken up in the middle of the night to find Regis at the living room, standing in front of the phone and looking at it like it’s making him miserable.

When Clarus goes to hug him gently, Regis immediately sniffles and drops a few tears.

“...I’m just so scared something happens, I want to call them all the time to make sure. It’s senseless but I can’t help it, Clarus.”

Clarus tries to cuddle Regis in bed and pamper him to keep him calm and help him get some sleep. 

Poor Reggie may overthink and wonder stupid things.

“...what if...any of my reproductory genes made it to Gladio and it makes the same problems we had-” 

Clarus is shushing him. Tells him that it’s going to be fine, that he doesn’t need to think about it, and most importantly, reminds him that if things went wrong it wouldn’t be his fault, just like it never, ever was back then. 

Honestly they reach a point where Regclar are visiting daily to help the dads to be <3

In the later stages of pregnancy, you can bet Regis definitely stayed, like even overnight, to help out and be around to be of help.

The nerves and anxiety but also hope and eagerness grew with each day that passed IT’S INSANE, REGCLAR ARE ABOUT TO EXPLODE

((you can only imagine how Regclar were when it was the day...and how they reacted when they were told they could go into the room and found a smiling Gladio-Iggy duo holding a tiny little bundle... <3))

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DAMMIT 

WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO GIVE ME THESE FEELS I DIDN’T KNOW I HAD, AAAAAAAAH!!! TAT <3 

This was from the other last time I was back hahaha...I’m so embarrassed I disappeared again, but I didn’t expect it! Sorry, and thank you for this welcome back then and now!!!! I hope you’re around and seeing, I’ve been eager to answer this one so much <3 

And I wasn’t wrong! This was so much fun and lovely to write!! I love the headcanons you people send me, even if it takes me literal ages to get to them. Thank you so much for sending this prompt in, I wasn’t expecting ABO but it was so enjoyable!! 

Aawwww, and thank you SOOOOOOOOOOOO much for saying such nice things about my gladnis and regclar stuff!! Those are two of my 3 faves to write, absolutely, I miss having daily time for them because BOY, even years later I’m still so hardcore into them! 

Seriously, this whole ask is just so alksjdkdjg :’) Thank you for the nice things you said of my stuff, thank you for the prompt, and thank you for sending it as a welcome back!! SERIOUSLY HOW SWEET AND KIND ARE YOU, AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH <3 <3 <3 ;A;

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU

Sending you LOTS of raccoonie sparkles of happy and luck!! Thank you once more!! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

[peterstanslizzie]

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 2.10 (Working Girl)

Lizzie unintentionally breaking the fourth wall

- Have we already established the fact that Lizzie (not Hilary) is a really bad actress? She tries to butter her parents up by giving them compliments to get them to kindly raise her allowance. But of course, they are able to see right through her and give her a big fat NO. Lizzie is fuming!

Poor Miranda!

- The natural thing for Lizzie to do after this is to then vent to her friends at the Digital Bean. Miranda spots a ‘busboy wanted’ sign in the distance and tries to tell Lizzie that she could get a job to pay for her things. Lizzie is too busy in her rant to even notice what she’s trying to tell her but for some strange reason, when Gordo points it out to her instead, she suddenly pays attention and hears him out. Weird.

- Anyways, Lizzie easily gets the job and her first day is tomorrow. She thinks it’s going to be a piece of cake. Don’t jinx it Lizzie...

- The next morning, Lizzie announces her new job to her parents and they are taken aback because they didn’t expect her to get one all of a sudden. They are also worried that she’s taking on too many responsibilities and there might be too much on her plate. I think it’s safe to say they’re probably right. 

Lizzie Starts Her Job

- We skip to Lizzie on her first day working at the Digital Bean and she quickly realizes there’s a lot to do as the new busboy. And it doesn’t help that her manager seems to be a total nightmare to work for. She’s so bossy! I would hate having a manager like her. 

- And it doesn’t get better from then on because Lizzie is starting to get paranoid about her friends making even the smallest mess in the café because she has to be the one to clean up after them. But you know what, who could blame her? Especially when you have these two around: 

Can these two ever get a life?

- And unsurprisingly, Lizzie’s manager demands that she cleans up the spill when it’s so obvious that Kate and Claire were the ones who purposely caused it. Lizzie is now starting to feel regrets about taking this job.

- The next day (which I’m assuming is a Saturday?), Sam notices Lizzie looking distraught about having to go to work and tells her she can always quit if she wants to. He also lets Lizzie know that she’s just a kid and the only responsibilities she should have is being a good student, a good friend and a good daughter. Now that’s really solid advice from Sam...and Jo (because she probably told him to convince Lizzie to quit)

Lizzie Quits After....3 Days?

Lizzie’s better than me. I would’ve thrown that spoon right at his face lol

- During her shift that day, she’s dealing with a bunch of difficult customers, which, again, includes Kate and Claire. On top of that, her supervisor (whatever her name is) is just soooo not being understanding or thoughtful towards Lizzie.  

Also, if I were Lizzie, I would’ve popped Claire in her forehead and quit my job afterwards. Lizzie could’ve gotten really hurt thanks to her. 

That guy totally deserved that

- Lizzie has had enough and decides to give everyone who did her wrong a piece of her mind. I’m glad she manage to get that all out of her system but because of her rant, Lizzie gets fired from her role as busboy at the Digital Bean. But you know what? Good on her!

- After getting the pink slip, Lizzie comes home and tells her friends what just happened. She actually seems relieved that she doesn’t have to deal with the stress from her job anymore. Even just watching her work makes me feel stressed out. 

B-Plot: Miranda Doesn’t Like Breaking Young Boy’s Hearts

- Matt is currently feeling down in the dumps because he thinks that Melina doesn’t want to be friends with him anymore. Well, more like doesn’t like him anymore. He expresses this to his friend, Reggie, whom I don’t think we’ve been introduced to beforehand. 

- It’s not so much that Melina doesn’t talk to him anymore. It’s more so that she hasn’t been getting Matt into any trouble recently. I mean, we all know that this weird relationship of theirs has pretty toxic tendencies. But she’s actually now focusing her attention on this other boy named Jared.

- Reggie suggests to Matt that he ask his sister, Lizzie for some advice as to why Melina has been treating him differently these days. Matt hesitates at first but he realizes that he really has no other choice. 

This made me laugh so much. Matt literally insinuated that Jo isn’t a girl. I mean, she is a woman but I’m sure his mom more than qualifies.  

- Matt then shows up at Lizzie’s job to tell her about his problem. But their conversation is cut short by Lizzie’s manager. She’s beginning to really annoy me. 

It also doesn’t help that Lizzie can be quite clumsy sometimes...

- While Lizzie is busy being a total mess at work, Matt is lucky enough to be able to ask Miranda for advice instead since she is, indeed a girl. Miranda basically tells him that it’s Melina’s problem and how she isn’t able to realize how great of a kid Matt is. She also had to add that there are others girls who would be so lucky to go out with him. See how this is going?

Look at Matt’s face; He totally just misunderstood Miranda’s intention in everything she just told him lol

And now he’s gone full-blown stalker mode. Yikes!

- The next day, Lizzie, Miranda and Gordo come home from school to chill at Lizzie’s place but Matt uses this opportunity to give Miranda a ‘thank-you’ card:

Oh my word. Miranda better run for the hills hahahaha. Also, does the music have to be THAT dramatic when she opens his card? LOL

- It’s one thing to have crushes but Matt takes it to a whole other level. I get that he’s like 11/12 but still...

He’s also now calling her and sending her a bunch of balloons with his and her face on them. 

- On their three way call, Miranda is asking Gordo for his advice on how to gently turn Matt down. To my surprise, Miranda still doesn’t want to hurt Matt’s feelings and actually agrees to go on a bike-riding date with him. To be honest, if I were Miranda, it would also be hard for me to turn him down. I’m not exactly sure why. It must be the people pleaser in me...

By the way, is it weird that I love Miranda’s outfit here? Very Avril Lavigne circa 2002.

His smile...

- The next day, with Gordo’s support, Miranda tries to work up enough courage to reject Matt but before she could let it out, Melina marches into the living room  and confronts Miranda for ‘stealing her man’. Yikes, Miranda just got dissed by an 11 year old lmao. 

Melina just proved to all of us that she likes Matt back. That’s sweet...in a twisted kind of way.

- Oh and just like how Gordo pointed out, it’s quite embarrassing that Miranda just got dumped by Matt of all people. Again, poor Miranda...

- There’s also one last surprise for Miranda. Apparently Matt had a cake made for her that Lizzie has taken out of the fridge. And because of that, she has no other choice but to act like a pig and eat the frosting of the cake with her bare hands just to prevent Lizzie from seeing what’s written on the cake. I would have done the same thing lol.

Overall Thoughts

- I found this episode to be one the funniest Lizzie Mcguire episodes so far. I felt like almost every scene either made me slightly chuckle or laugh out loud. From Lizzie’s short stint at the Digital Bean as a busboy to Matt’s sudden crush on Miranda, I was thoroughly entertained from start to finish.

- Honestly speaking, had Matt been able to dial down the craziness in terms of ‘pursuing’ someone just like he did with Miranda, he actually knows how to be a pretty romantic kid. No wonder Melina likes controlling being around him. And seeing her confronting Miranda like that and basically telling her that she’s just a rebound was hilarious to watch. 

- Lizzie’s new job as the busboy was fascinating to watch because it’s the first time we see her working a job and taking on responsibilities outside the house and school. Even though she got fired, I can’t imagine anyone being able to put up with that bossy manager. Like if the busboy turnover rate is consistently high, surely that has something to do with the work environment and the people running the internet café, right? Or can they at least hire more busboys to spread out the workload? Solutions people!

[anninhiliation]

Not Good Enough Part 1

A/N me again :) so yea I'm babysitting an elderly lady so why not put out imagines and smut of my men (Sweet Pea and Fangs) (Thirsty bitch for both) In addition, I own nothing except for my words. Gif belongs to the rightful owner.

Masterlist

Part 2

Y/N = Your Name

Warnings: cursing, sad precious baby Fangs, blood, mention of anxiety.

"(Y/N), I am so fucked." Fangs dolefully said.

You and Fangs met because of the merger. Since there were so many new students, Riverdale Highschool literally copied your schedule to make his. Being in all the same classes had made you two to become friends. In fact, you had even developed feelings for him but never said anything because of how positive you were that he only saw you as a friend. Yet, in your defense, he never showed you any signs that he was interested in you.

"Fangs, you are not going down for the murder of Midge! There is no way I will let that happen." You cheerfully said hoping to lift his spirits.

His saddened, and scared expressions killed you inside.

"(Y/N) I don't expect you to understand cause of how privileged you are, but people like me always go down for shit we didn't do." Fangs replied coldly. “And people like you get to do whatever the fuck you want, and Daddy's always there to fix whatever fucked up shit you decided to do.”

"Listen, Fogarty," you snap back hurt that he would ever snap at you. His usual friendly smiles and flirtatious comments had been destroyed lately due to all the stress. "My privileged ass will not allow you to go down for anything. I may not be a serpent, but I fucking know loyalty. I am loyal as hell to the people I care about."

You snapped back at him with full sass inches away from his face. If it weren't for the bars separating the two of you, Fangs might have kissed you from all the sexual tension that was building up. The sassy comeback made Fangs regret snapping at you. Softening his features he leaned against the bars, fingers curling around the bars and almost whispered,

"Sorry (Y/N). It's just stressful cause I got one of those free lawyers and he's shit. Doesn't care how long I rot in jail or why I am even here in the first place. And I can't afford a good lawyer, which leaves me with a moron."

Seeing Fangs regretting snapping at you, you softly smile and reply, "That's why I came to visit you during school! I hired McCoy to represent you! Shes really good and will have you out in no time!"

With that, you waved Fangs good-bye strutting away in your maroon mid-thigh skirt. Fangs was left shocked, as attorney McCoy appeared from the hallway ready to take over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Attorney McCoy had worked her magic, making Fangs once again a free man.

"I don't want to die." Fangs spoke scaredly. 

You hear the serpents speaking trying to form a plan to safely get Fangs back home safely. The mob outside had grown dangerously large and the police seemed to not care. For they only saw it as one less gang members permanently off the streets. As you walk up to the core four serpents, Sweet Pea noticed you first and growls

"What are you doing here North Sider? Lost? This is none of your business so turn around and walk away."

Being 5ft and having a 6ft 3inch man growl at you while staring you down did frighten you, however, you could not let that show if you wanted to help Fangs.

"I am here to help Fogarty." You state confidently. Standing up straighter as if you were going to match his height.

"Why should we trust you?" Sweet Pea lashed out.

Sweet Pea looked like if he was given the chance, he would murder you in a split second. Fangs steps in before things get more out of hand. The tension outside was bad enough, but Fangs` friends fighting only made him feel worse. 

"Dude shes the reason why I get to leave and I'm not rotting in prison right now." Fangs says as he pulls Sweet Pea back.

Jughead, being the leader of the younger serpents formulates a plan to leave the building with everyone surrounding Fangs. Before leaving everyone forms a huddle and chants

"In unity, there is strength!"

Being the short girl you are, forces you to protect Fangs' back. The riot that had formed outside was petrifying. No matter how many people Sweet Pea would push away they kept coming. Like a swarm of angry bees. You were really grateful that the Serpents were just a huge family and that more joined in as you walked through the irate crowd. People had been pulling your hair, spitting at you, screaming in your face, yet all you could focus on was protecting the boy you secretly loved. Yet, Fangs never safely made it home. Everything happened in what felt like slow motion. You saw from the corner of your eye Reggie Mantle with a gun. Sending you into a panic, as you think to fast you push yourself in front of Fangs but its no use because he just shoves you to the ground as the sound of a gun goes off.

Fangs fell to the ground next to you with a pool of blood forming around his upper abdomen. Sweet Pea began to yell for someone to call 911. Tears form around your face as you apply pressure against the wound. You were outright petrified, you felt your heart break into millions of pieces.

"Fangs stay with me!" You sob "You are going to be okay."

You sob so hard your makeup runs down cheeks making Fangs weekly smile.

"I'm not dead yet." Fangs choked out as paramedics came and took over. Pushing you out of the way.

In all the stress you push your hair back with Fangs' blood all over your hands. Watching the love of your life being placed in an ambulance. You pull out your car keys ready to follow the paramedics, still crying when suddenly a hand lands on your shoulder. You turn around and its Sweet Pea, with Jughead and Toni behind him.

"I'm driving you're a mess right now." Sweet Pea states prying the keys out of your hands.

Toni gives you a weak smile as she gets into the car sitting next to Jughead in the backseat. The drive is silent minus the sounds of your weak sobs. Until of course, Sweet Pea breaks the silence.

"You know you should just tell Fangs you like him more as a friend." Sweet Pea states bluntly.

You suddenly stop sobbing to choke out, "I don't like him like that! Why would you even think that?"

"Oh, yea?" Sweet Pea answers in amusement. "Than why did you pay for his lawyer? Put yourself in danger by coming here to help escort him out of an angry mob, and freak the fuck out the second he gets hurt but not even notice the grab marks, bruises, and cuts that have formed around your skin? Oh, and you couldn't even drive because of how emotionally wrecked you are."

Shocked you quickly answer "Yea well- uh- well ya know you- hmmm- I- that's what friends do?" You finish with more of a question than a thought.

"Thought so." Sweet Pea says as Toni cuts in before he can add anything else "Sweet Pea leave the poor girl alone. Feelings for Fangs or not, nows not the time."

You turn your head slightly back to mouth "Thank you."

As Toni nods with a soft smile. The car suddenly parks as Sweet Pea gets out. Everyone else follows as you are at the hospital, but you stay back to take a deep breath. You are the last one to enter the hospital emergency waiting room, as Fangs suddenly appears on a gurney.

Seeing Fangs in what looked like a worse condition made your tears pile up all over again. You sit in the waiting room, leg shaking and your anxiety has clearly risen up. You got up from the chair you sat at with your purse to go outside to smoke. The fresh air always helped you calm down. Mixed with the tobacco from the cigarettes was a way you copped with your mental illness. It was a way for you to clear your head.

It doesn't take long for, you feel a presence behind you. 

“If you are here to talk to me about feelings and Fangs I will punch you. I might be small but I can pack a punch.” You threaten already knowing its Sweet Pea. 

“Can I have a cig?” Sweet Pea asks. 

You were taken back a bit, but nod as you open your camel menthols and offered your lighter along with a cigarette. After what felt like an eternity of awkward silence, Sweet Pea speaks up once again.

“Fangs likes you too.”

You looked up staring at Sweet Pea in the eyes trying to see if he was joking or not. But to your surprise, he was not kidding. 

"I'm going to ask you a question and I expect you to cut the bullshit and answer me." You replied. "Fangs is dying. We don't know if he is going to make it through the night. So why the hell do you think its okay to bring up feelings you know nothing about. Even if I did have feelings for Fangs it's not like I can do anything with them. So whats your game? Butter me up with shit like "Fangs likes you." An-" you didn't get to finish as Sweet Pea cut in,

"Fuck you." While throwing his cigarette butt by your feet and storming away with your car.

You threw your cigarette butt by his, and gingerly walked back into the hospital. You sat back down in your seat. By the time you made it back, FP had sent everyone home. However, luckily for you, FP didn't know you, so you got to stay After all the serpents had left, you deemed it safe to fall asleep, without anyone messing with you. It was around 9am when Toni woke you up with a cup of coffee. 

[ladyninjaa]

Snake Girl 3

Imagine: Being Archie’s little sister and getting sick which leads to your friends (Sweet Pea included) to check up on you at home.

warning: cute fluff.

Part 1 Part 2

“Are you sure you’re going to be fine today, sweetie?” Your dad came into your room early morning on a school day; his worry was clear as you started to cough harshly. “I can afford to take a day of.” He says as he hands you more medicine.

You take the medicine with a scowl on your face; you detested being sick. “Dad, I’m fine, I can handle being on my own today.” You reassure not wanting him to miss out on work, “No need to take drastic measures.” You give a small smile being you blew your nose into a tissue. You weren’t sure who had gotten you sick but since your immune system was shit, this virus was hitting you rather hard.

You had fainted yesterday during you training session with Reggie and Reggie had totally freaked out. You had been feeling shit that morning but brushed it off because you didn’t’ want to miss school—your attendance was perfect and you didn’t want to ruin it…until your father and brother forced you to stay home today.

Vegas was sleeping soundly at your feet acting as your lazy protector and companion for the day. Archie came in with some medicinal tea, “I made you some tea and just like you like it.” Archie offered you the warm mug and you gladly accepted it—anything to clear your clogged up sinuses and sooth your itchy throat.

“Thanks, Arch.” You thanked with some relief before drinking the almost too hot tea—you were desperate to get rid of this unbearable itch in your throat, “I hate being sick.” You muttered with disdain.

“Blame your mother; she has a weak immune system too.” Your father smiled softly.

“Thanks, mom.” You sighed unhappily.

“I gotta get to school, text me if you need anything, okay? I’ll come by for lunch, okay?” Archie reassures coming over to kiss your forehead and ruffled Vegas’s head, “You take good care of her, okay, Vegas?” Archie demanded to the dog with a grin.

Vegas sleepily looked up at your brother and lazily wagged his tail.

“I might be late coming home from work but I’ll leave some money in the kitchen for pizza or whatever you want, okay?” Your father said as he was leaving for work too. He saw you nod and both of them left your room leaving you and Vegas finally in solace.

You had planned to take a shit-ton of medicine, drink your tea, and sleep this virus off. You wanted to get better as soon as possible. After blowing your nose for the hundredth time that morning, you curled into your sheets with Vegas moving to curl into your side and drifted off into a deep sleep.

You woke up to Vegas slapping his tail against your face, “Vegas, what the hell.” You grumbled with your voice sounding horrible. You sat up and heard Archie’s voice along with Reggie’s. “Huh, is it lunch time already?” You mumbled with a sigh, “I wish I would’ve slept the entire day.”

“Y/N? Are you awake?” Archie hollered as he loudly stomped up the stairs.

“I am now.” You remarked grumpily and ran your hand over your hair knowing it must’ve been all over the place, “Vegas kept slapping his tail in my face.” Archie came into your room and Reggie awkwardly looked out of place.

“Reggie wanted to see how you were doing; you freaked him out pretty bad.” Archie explained as your big brother opened his backpack and handed your lunchbox, “I convinced the lunch-lady to give you an extra brownie.” Archie grins, “How are you feeling?”

You sniffled and replied with a sad look, “Still pretty shitty. I can’t breathe through my nose and my throat hurts a lot.” You explain to him and Archie frowns, “I think I might have a throat infection.” You were pretty prone to often throat infections for some odd reason.

Vegas was excitedly sniffing at Reggie and Reggie seemed to enjoy the dog’s attention. Reggie did have a soft spot for dogs. “I’ll call our doctor to make an appointment for later today,” Archie hums lightly, “I’ll go make your tea.” Archie kisses your forehead and leaves the room.

“Sorry for freaking you out yesterday.” You apologized to Reggie and gesture for him to sit down in your recliner next to your bed, “I didn’t think it would get that bad so fast.”

Reggie sat in the recliner, “I noticed how red your cheeks were but I didn’t think anything of it; I’m just glad you’re okay.” Reggie smiled as Vegas planted himself at Reggie’s feet, “I don’t think I saw your dog at the party the other week, he’s pretty cool.” Reggie admits sheepishly.

“Archie had him in my room. We didn’t want anyone messing with him or kidnapping him.” You chuckled softly.

“I, ah, I brought homework from third period.” Reggie admits looking a bit shy which was weird of him, “Homework and notes.” Reggie opens his backpack and puts his blue folder on your nightstand.

“Thanks, Reg,” You sigh happily, “I was going to ask but I wiped out as soon as Archie and my dad left the house.” Despite his status and appearance, Reggie was pretty intelligent.

“Sleeping off the sickness, eh? Lucky you, I can’t fall asleep easily when I get sick.” Reggie tells you with a light scowl, “I keep thinking how I miss my nostrils not being clogged the fuck up and how I hate being sick and in turn, can’t sleep.”

You giggle, “I feel you, I was like that last night but Archie practically overdosed me with Nyquil and I knocked out with fifteen minutes.”

“Archie has you pretty sheltered, huh?” Reggie muses randomly, “I don’t blame him. If I had a little sister, I’d be the same too.”

“It can get pretty frustrating when he’s in big brother mode.” You scoff with an eye roll, “Remember homecoming last year? I went with Frankie and he got too handsy and you all ended up beating him up.”

Reggie smirked, “Archie was pretty livid. I’m surprised the kid left with his life.”

“I doubt I’ll get asked out this year.” You grumbled.

“Who knows, maybe some poor guy will finally have the balls to stand up to your brother.” Reggie snickers though it sounds like he doubts it because Archie is backed up by the football team. Archie comes back with your tea and you gladly drink it. Archie and Reggie catch you up with the drama at school before it was time for them to go back to school before the first bells rang.

You managed to get the strength and walked them to the front door, “Feel better, Y/N.” Reggie smiles as Archie hugs you.

“Thanks, Reg, I appreciate you coming to see me and giving me homework and notes.” You smile back even though you feel very yucky—maybe a nice, hot shower would help you feel better. You bid farewell to your brother and Reggie and watch them drive away. You close the door, locked it, and trudged up the stairs to go take a hot—very hot shower. Your dad had made it clear that you couldn’t go see your snake babies until you were better which was a major bummer.

After taking a shower, you decided to clean up the house. The shower did help clearing your nose but it didn’t last very long. You felt pretty shitty but cleaning helped take your mind off feeling shitty. Eventually, you grabbed your favorite pillow and cat blanket and plopped down on the cough to watch some movies. The Devil Wears Prada, 13 going on 30, The Interview, and How to train your dragon were your must sees whenever you were sick.

It wasn’t long until someone was knocking on your front door.

“Who the fuck…” You grumbled groggily since you had been falling asleep. Vegas was already at the door, you gently push him away from the front door, and opened it to see Jughead, Toni, Fangs, and Sweet Pea and they brought Pop’s.

“We come bearing gifts.” Jughead smiles.

“You look like shit.” Fangs deadpans and Toni smacks the shit out of his shoulder, “Ow! She does but it’s kinda cute.”

“Thanks, dude.” You roll your eyes, “Come on in, I can’t turn away good company and good food. Does Archie know you’re all here?” You ask as you let them inside. Jughead didn’t look so out of place in your house but the Serpents did and it was almost funny. Sweet Pea was almost to tall for your door and it made you giggle.

Sweet Peas cock an eyebrow at you, “Something funny?” He glares mildly at you.

“You’re a giant.” You muttered closing the door, “You almost don’t fit through the door.” You look up at him since he was tall as hell and he towered over you.

Sweet Pea shakes his head, “Thanks, Y/N.” He remarks dryly.

“What a cutie!” Toni coos over Vegas who is basking in the attention.

You guess everyone had a soft spot for dogs. “What kind of gay shit were you watching.” Fangs is going through your DVD cases with a disgusted look.

“Hey, these are classics.” Toni defends your taste in movies.

“The Devil Wears Prada and 13 going on 30 are pretty good.” Jughead adds earning disgusted looks from Fangs and Sweet Pea. You were all smiles and laughs despite feeling so sick as you ate with Jughead and the Serpents. You felt right at home with them, it was weird. It felt as if you had known Toni, Fangs, and Sweet Pea all your life.

“You don’t like tomatoes?” Sweet Pea frowns as you pick off the tomatoes off your burger—Jughead knew you hated tomatoes but ordered them on your burger only because it meant a free tomato for him. You peeled off the two slices of tomato and dropped it on Jughead’s burger. You ignored his happy smirk.

“They’re gross.” You mumbled as you shoved your burger into your mouth.

“I like a girl that can eat.” Fangs watch you with awe and it made you feel uncomfortable.

Jughead smacks Fangs on the arm, “She doesn’t like when people stare at her while she eats.” Jughead informs him.

“Sorry.” Fangs mumbled.

It didn’t take long until the good food was gone and the good company was begging to see your snake collection. “Jughead, go ahead and give them a tour. My dad banned me from the snake shack.” You tell him before going into a fit of rough coughs that had Toni patting your back and Jughead to look for the Nyquil. 

“Are you sure?” Jughead asks as he hands you some Nyquil.

You nod, “Yeah.” Toni and Fangs are beyond excited but Sweet Pea declines to go. Fangs taunts him for being a bitch but eventually left to the snake shack. “Why didn’t you go?” You asked him curiously as the both of you sit at the dining table—your chair angled towards his.

He shrugged, “I rather you give me a tour of your snakes.” He replies easily.

You smiled, “Why?”

Sweet Pea pins you with a serious look that leaves your stomach squirming, “Because I like how excited you get whenever you talk about your snakes.” You couldn’t help the blush that burns over your cheeks and your eyes downcast with some shyness.

“People usually get tired of my endless ramblings about snakes.” You mumbled softly.

You shyly look up at Sweet Pea and find him staring at you with an interesting smile, “I don’t, I think it’s cool that you’re that passionate about snake; I think it’s hot.” Sweet Pea leans in towards you and you’re frozen in place.

Your heart hammers tightly in your chest—no boy had ever been this close to your face before. His dark eyes seemed somber and held you captive with how intense they seemed. He seemed so bad and tough but…you felt almost safe with him. “I’ve been thinking about something and I need your advice.” Sweet Pea spoke and you shyly watched his lips move.

“Advice on what?” You mumbled leaning away slightly—your cheeks were flushed deeply and Sweet Pea noted your reaction with amusement.

“I like you.” Sweet Pea deadpans.

“M-M-Me?” You stuttered with wide eyes unable to believe that big and tough Sweet Pea could possibly like someone like you, “But…I’m a Northsider?” You squeaked.

Sweet Pea reached out to grab the bottom of your chair and pulled your chair towards him—your legs now touching his. Your hands began to get clammy and you licked your lips unsure what was going on. “You act way different than a normal Northsider.” Sweet Pea says watching as you chew on your lower lip.

“I’m not sure if your people would approve of you dating a Northsider.” You whispered with a sad tone.

“I don’t give a fuck about what others think,” Sweet Pea says firmly taking you by surprise, “You’re special, Y/N, and everyone can see it. I’ve never met a girl like you and no girl has ever held my interest as you do…I know what I want and it is you.” Sweet Pea reaches out to gently gasp your clammy hand. You watch intently as his large hand engulfs your small hand and couldn’t help but to love the warmth of his skin—how can someone be so hot?

You felt like a fish out of water, “I…I…I’ve never had a boyfriend so, I don’t know how to be a girlfriend?” You awkwardly say and cringe.

Sweet Pea smirks, “It’s not that hard,” He reassures, “And I promise to be a good boyfriend.” He adds softly, “I didn’t think I’d ever be serious with anyone but I know I want my first relationship to be with you.”

His words made your hear sing an angle choir—you’ve heard a lot of guys talking with similar sweet words but Sweet Pea’s voice…sounded so sincere. His eyes were an open book and you knew it was because he was letting you see a side of him no one really saw. You didn’t notice but your fingers were intertwining with his. A relationship with Sweet Pea wouldn’t be easy…who he was and what he stood for…but it didn’t really matter to you.

Archie would…definitely throw a temper tantrum. Your father…you weren’t sure how your father would react. “You’re asking me out, right?” You dumbly ask.

Sweet Pea smirked softly, “Yeah, I am.”

You blush, “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Sweet Pea squeezes your hand, “I know what I want, Y/N, and I usually don’t change my mind about things like this.” Sweet Pea reassures, “So, is that a yes or no?” Sweet Pea questions.

You couldn’t help but to smile softly, “Yes.”

Sweet Pea grins, “I don’t usually like parents but I’ll try to give your father a good impression of me.” He says and sighs, “I really want to kiss you right now, I’m beyond stoked right now.” He says with a light pout. Your eyes staring at his lips—he had really nice lips.

“Don’t look at me like that, Princess,” Sweet Pea slips his hand into your hair and pulls you dangerously close to his face, “I might be tempted to kiss you.”

You blush and he smirks, “I’m sick.” You muttered sadly.

“Not for long.” Sweet Pea muses, “I’m going to enjoy having you as mine.” He murmurs brushing his lips against your cheek. Your body shook with joy and pleasure—this boy was going to be the death of you.

“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised.” Toni’s voice made you flinch away from Sweet Pea so roughly that you fell off your chair.

“Ow…” You whined as Sweet Pea helped you up.

“You okay?” Sweet Pea murmurs with a small smile.

“This is your fault.” You grumble with a blush.

“Archie is going to freak the fuck out.” Jughead says unsure whether or not he approves of this situation.

“Yes! You made your move!” Fangs comes in and pats Sweet Pea on the shoulder with a large smirk, “Finally, I was tired of hearing you talk about her.”

“You talked about me?” You teased softly.

Sweet Pea scowls at Fangs but looks at you and his glare softens, “Yeah.”

“Oh, gross.” Jughead snorts.

“You two will be so cute together.” Toni says with a smile, “I can imagine the heads that will turn with the news of Sweet Pea and Y/N going out.”

“A first date will make it official.” Jughead adds protectively, “Right, Sweet Pea?”

Sweet Pea rolls his eyes, “Of course, Jughead.”

You giggle cutely and Sweet Pea is quick to pull you into his side, “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you, Princess.” Sweet Pea whispers in your ear.

taglist (my taglist is closed and will be forever closed. Taglists are time-consuming.)

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[junker-town]

The Knicks are committing crimes against basketball

The Knicks are an even bigger disaster than we imagined.

The Knicks are even worse than the memes suggest.

On media day, New York Knicks team president Steve Mills declared the team’s offseason was actually executed as planned. And it wasn’t hard for anyone to call bullshit.

Just three months earlier, Mills issued a statement pleading for fans to keep faith after not landing Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving. Of course it wasn’t the plan to instead ink anyone who’d accept a ballooned, short-term salary, positions or skill sets be damned. Mills was lying, or at least engaging in strategic delusion in the name of self-preservation.

Yet somehow, that reading gives Mills and the rest of the organization too much credit. It doesn’t take long watching this team to realize things are a whole lot worse than even the most reductive Knicks jokes suggest.

Those jokes are true, to be clear. Nothing will change until toxic ownership is removed. The Knicks did sign too many power forwards this summer. This roster is impossible to coach while still giving Mills and general manager Scott Perry enough plausible deniability to suggest head coach David Fizdale is the biggest problem. The young players on the roster are a tad overrated and aren’t fulfilling their draft potential. The product really is the result of years of yo-yoing between plans, all while selling fans on endless pivots and possibilities that never come to fruition.

This team is actually so much worse than all of that. The roster Mills and Perry assembled is an endless black hole of self-interest and misaligned incentives that nudges every player to his worst instinct. It belongs in a Breaking Madden experiment, not actual reality. It’s a roster of mediocrity that adds up to a tiny fraction of the sum of its parts. It’s such a disaster that it’s impossible to blame any single factor for its dysfunction, which is ideal for a Teflon team president whose only skill is tossing others under the bus to save himself.

The Knicks’ “marquee” free agent signing this summer is the most fitting on-court avatar for all of this. Once upon a time, Julius Randle was a top prospect with a bright NBA future. But after spending his formative NBA years mired in the Lakers’ dysfunction, then a season on a lost New Orleans team where he put up numbers with no impact on winning, Randle has mastered the art of appearing to play hard while not actually playing hard in a constructive way.

So far, Randle has imported all of his bad habits and none of the shot-making he displayed in New Orleans. He catches the ball and holds it, triple-threating any potential opportunity away to scan a defense that should’ve already been tilted for him. Even on TV, you can feel the energy sucked out of the other four Knicks players as they stand helplessly waiting for Randle to make a play. No big man in the league averages more seconds or dribbles per touch.

What do the Knicks get from all that standing around? Usually, those plays are multiple-dribble moves into traffic that fail to work out.’

Or, contested three-pointers that never seem to go in. (Randle is shooting 21 percent on three-and-a-half three-point attempts a game. You’re open for a reason, my man).

Randle is a powerful driver at his best and completes enough of those plays to make you think he’s a force of nature. However, all the starting and stopping he does negates that power.

A more decisive version of Randle should be able execute a quality dribble-handoff, using screening angles that takes his partner’s defender out of the play and reacting from there. But Randle instead plays far too upright, so he fails to make contact on screens he sets. Poor screening means no separation for him or his teammates, which further kills the flow of the offense and/or sets him up for another one of those battering-ram drives into traffic.

Theoretically, Randle’s speed and strength can be weapons he deploys in conjunction with non-stop movement. In reality, though, Randle only activates the engine when he gets the ball, and by then it’s too late to create anything efficient for himself or a teammate.

Any offense with this type of player using the most possessions is committing a basketball crime. The Knicks’ half-court offense is averaging just 81.4 points per 100 possessions through the first 11 games this season, according to Cleaning The Glass. The gap between them and the second-worst half-court offense is wider than the gap between second-worst and 10th-worst. In fact, no team has been below 82 points per 100 possessions on half-court possessions since the Process era 76ers of 2014-15.

Worse, half-court plays account for nearly 78 percent of the Knicks’ possessions, third-highest in the league. That means you get a whole lot of this:

But even though Randle is an undersized, inefficient scorer who vacuums shots away from teammates and won’t set a screen or space the floor to help someone else thrive, the Knicks’ on-court issues can’t be laid at his feet. That’s because all of Randle’s worst instincts are compounded by the rest of the roster.

That includes Marcus Morris Sr., a stretch power forward masquerading as a small forward. Morris thrived in Boston last year because he got to finish plays, not start them. Sixty-nine percent of his buckets were assisted, and nearly 51 percent of his shots attempts came after zero dribbles. Less has always been more for him on either end.

He’s been forced to do more this year, which isn’t helping anyone. Only 35 percent of his shots came off zero dribbles this year, which is about as many as off three or more dribbles (34 percent). He’s averaging twice as many assists as turnovers, and watching him run pick-and-roll is excruciating.

Young big man Mitchell Robinson’s absence with a concussion means we’re getting a lot of Bobby Portis, a player adept at shooting, but nothing else. Portis’ screens are just slip opportunities for him to get off his own shot, the rest of the court be damned. He occasionally gets hot, but usually he’s running around aimlessly without offering anything defensively.

The same could be said of second-year wing Kevin Knox, who also lacks critical basketball instincts. His shooting has improved and he’s athletic, but he reads the game so slowly that he misses opportunities to put himself in position to get better attempts off.

Point guards Elfrid Payton and Dennis Smith Jr., meanwhile, have similar weaknesses at different stages of their basketball lives. Both function best with the ball in their hands, but that “best” isn’t particularly inspiring and they lack the skill or intelligence to fare well without it. (It’s worth noting Smith has dealt with horrible personal tragedy this season that would affect anyone’s play).

Frank Ntilikina is a better off-ball player and seems to have more confidence after a summer in France. But opponents still help off him when he doesn’t have the ball, which is often because the Knicks have so many other mouths to feed.

That includes R.J. Barrett, the Knicks’ prized rookie who must feel like he’s playing against 10 defenders whenever he touches the ball. Barrett’s a tough driver and has flashed more of a three-point shot off the dribble than I expected, but it’s hard to generate good looks when the floor looks like this on his pick-and-rolls:

There’s a common denominator on this roster: players who know how to function when they have the ball and either won’t or can’t when they don’t. That might improve slightly if Reggie Bullock returns from a back issue and Wayne Ellington overcomes the curse that zapped his talent. Sage big man Taj Gibson possesses some useful good habits, though he’s well past his prime. Young wing Damyean Dotson may deserve more of a look: he actually shoots threes on the move, defends his position decently, and can shift Barrett to small forward, where he’ll have more space to drive.

But rotation tweaks here and there won’t do much to create a style of play that actually works for the collective. The roster Fizdale’s been been given and the short-term contracts that brought many of those players to New York are unstoppable forces meeting immovable objects. He hasn’t done everything right, but no coach can thrive in this environment. Even if a new coach finds a root cause explaining the team’s failure, there are too many dominos that must fall for significant change.

This is a perfect way to facilitate endless whataboutism in an attempt to uncover scapegoats for the Knicks’ problems. And you wonder how Mills has survived Garden politics for nearly two decades.

[thekillingquill]

Dog Days Are Over

Pairing: Reader x Reggie Word Count: 6,910 Warnings: An animal was definitely hurt in the writing of this fic. There’s probably some swearing. Summary: Reader and Reggie live on the same street and walk the same route with their dogs.  A/N: This is in tribute to Ross Butler’s portrayal of Reggie Mantle. Wishing him nothing but the best on all endeavours, but we’ll certainly miss him! Also if at least one person cries I will have considered this a success. Apologies on the lack of proofreading on my part.

“Oh Captain, my Captain!” I call out laughingly to the dark haired boy ahead of me. My dog, Ducky, lunges forward once in an impressive show of strength, dragging me a few steps closer to the boy I grew up down the street from and his faithful companion, Vader. Reggie shoots me a bored look over his shoulder, not replying, but slowing his walk to allow us to catch up.

Reggie rolls his eyes at me as Vader pulls on his leash in an attempt to get to Ducky. The end result is ruined by his half-smirk which looks more amused than annoyed. His dachshund runs between the legs of my Bernese Mountain Dog and she lunges playfully at him once, and then twice, barking and sniffing at him. After a moment the dogs are settled and we begin to walk side by side.

“So, congratulations on getting captain, dude!” I try to strike up a conversation. Reggie grunts in reply and mumbles something in return. “Hey, what’s up? I thought you’d be happy. You were giving Archie hell for that spot.” Reggie rolls his eyes again and grunts louder, but we both know I’m not easily derailed. I open my mouth and he cuts me off before I can really get started.

“Alright already!  I guess I’m not that excited ‘cause Coach offered it to Andrews first. He turned it down.” I can tell this is hard for Reggie to talk about. It was a blow to his ego to even have to compete with Archie, but to lose out on it and only get it by default?

“That’s because Archie knows you’re the better man for the job,” I assure him. Reggie gives me that half smirk again and I can tell that he knows what I’m doing but he finds it at least a little endearing. 

“Well we all know that. Just sucks that Coach didn’t see it.”

“He’ll see it soon enough, Reginald. Archie saw it, I’ve seen it and I know that a lot of your other teammates have seen it, too. You’re going to be a boss ass Captain.” Reggie rolls his eyes at me and shoulder checks me.

“Oh shit!” He exclaims as I stumble off the edge of the sidewalk, but he’s laughing and that’s what’s important to me in the moment. Shortly after, we arrive at the park and let our dogs off their leashes. Vader takes off like a shot, and Ducky noses around at the grass nearby. Reggie pulls a bright orange ball out of his pocket and tosses it a few times for Vader to chase after. Occasionally Reggie throws the ball towards Ducky and she attempts to get it before Vader races over. I cross my arms over my chest and bite my lip, watching our dogs play. It isn’t long before I notice that Ducky is showing less interest in the game. Reggie teases the dogs by pretending to throw the ball, and she doesn’t react at all.

“Everything okay?” Reggie asks, nudging me with his elbow. I’m not sure if he’s referring to my quiet disposition or Ducky’s lackluster response.

“There’s that Captain spirit,” I try to tease, but my tone falls flat. Reggie wouldn’t be my first choice to unload my feelings on, but he’s here and he asked. I sigh and start to let my worries ease out.

“I’m just worried about Ducky. She’s been tired lately. Not that into her favourite treats or toys. Just been acting off for a few weeks. We went to the v-word a couple of days ago and they ran some tests. We’ve got to go later today to get the results.” I reach around Reggie and steal the ball, taking two steps and throwing the ball as hard as possible for Vader. I imagine that ball is carrying all of my fear, all of my worry, all the bad things away from me.

“Shit, that sucks.” Is all he says. I shrug and Vader drops the ball at my feet.

“As you may recall, we detected some abnormal swelling during our initial examination. We took a sample and had it tested and I’m sorry to have to tell you but it’s not good. The results show that the swelling in Ducky is cancerous…” Doctor Jameson, the veterinarian we have been taking Ducky to since we got her when I was five, is still talking, but I can’t hear her over the buzzing in my ears. I keep my eyes on Ducky who is panting innocently on the examination table while Doctor Jameson parts her fur to show my parents what she’s talking about. When the buzzing stops, she is talking about treatment options.

“And how much would that cost?” My father asks gruffly. He only has the two settings: gruff and drunk.

“The total cost for this particular treatment can range anywhere between $6,000-$10,000. I have to be honest with you, given Ducky’s age and this particular type of cancer, you may want to consider investing your efforts in making her as comfortable as possible.” Doctor Jameson has a soft, confident voice and sympathetic eyes. Ducky loves her and I have always found her to be comforting and steady, even now.

“And how much is that gonna cost us?” My father asks, still gruff.

“Should we be considering, you know…” My mother pipes in, practical as always but sounding sorry to ask. She jabs vaguely at Ducky, a poor gesture that equates to one thing: an injection.

“At this point, it’s something to consider,” Doctor James concedes. For my benefit, she looks me straight in the eye and adds: “This form of cancer can be aggressive.”

“I need some air,” I choke out. I hear Ducky’s nails clicking against the exam table as she rushes to follow after me. We sit in the waiting room for twenty minutes, her sitting against my legs and me with my arms looped around her neck in an embrace that will have to end one way or another. I can’t remember a time where I didn’t have Ducky. Whenever my dad has more than four beers, he likes to tell me about the day he brought Ducky home.

“I must have been out of my fucking mind to bring that thing home. A bunch of us were at the bar after a hard day and my boss announces that his wife’s dog had a little-litter of pups and he offers me one. I lost my damn mind, I said yeah and he brought me to his place and gives me this little runt and I take her home and once she’s in the door I know there’s no getting rid of her. It was love at first sight. Never did understand why you named the damn thing Ducky, though.”

Despite his style of storytelling, I know my dad likes Ducky. He feeds her from the table, and he lets her up on the couch when he thinks no one is home. He even lets her lay her head on his thigh and he plays with her ears. My mom never had pets growing up and she has trouble with the mess that accompanies living with an animal. She is constantly at her wits end about the smudged windows, muddy pawprints on the floor, fur coating the furniture, and during Ducky’s puppyhood, the “accidents” on the rug drove her up the wall.

Her biggest problem with us having a dog was that I wanted Ducky to sleep in my bed with me. Despite my tantrums, my mother insisted on putting Ducky in a crate at night. After two nights of constant whining (me and Ducky), crying (me), and accidents (Ducky), my mother gave up on crating. She tried putting Ducky outside, but I cried even harder and the neighbours complained about her barking. My mom’s last attempt was to get Ducky a dog bed for my room. It didn’t work and mom still complains incessantly about it.

I know they aren’t bad people and that they aren’t intentionally trying to break my heart, but I already know how this ends. Dad is to the point: why wait? Mom is ready to have her clean house back after twelve years. Dad will try to comfort me by saying I’ll get over it. My mom will be kinder and tell me that Ducky won’t suffer anymore. Ultimately, the decision will be made for me. Still, this isn’t easy, but since when is loving something ever easy?

My parents, in a moment of thoughtfulness and compassion, offer to let me skip school on Friday to spend the day with Ducky before….

And mom, in a surprising move, tells me firmly that if I don’t want to do this, then she and dad will figure out a way to make Ducky comfortable until they can’t anymore: “If we have to take a second mortgage out on the house, then we will, baby.”

Then in a very predictable move she reminds me about how uncomfortable this could be for Ducky, how they can’t promise how long it will sustain her… but softens the blow with a hug and a whisper: “These kinds of decisions are never easy and I’m so sorry you have to go through this.”

I cry into Ducky’s neck the whole drive home. On Saturday at 10:00 am, she has her last appointment with Doctor Jameson. The appointment feels like the wrong decision, but letting Ducky exist without finding joy in the things she loves seems wrong, too. Maybe there’s no right decision.

I sniffle and lift my head to look out the window, trying hard to stop crying. It feels like I’ve been crying for close to an hour and my head is pounding. As we pull into our neighbourhood, I can see the blurry form of Reggie in his front yard tossing a ball to one of his friends (I can’t tell who it is through the never ending onslaught of tears).

I try hastily to hide my crying before getting out of the car where Reggie and his friend could possibly see me. Unfortunately, it’s kind of impossible to hide the kind of crying that comes with having a broken heart. My eyes are so swollen it hurts to blink and the ache of my throat makes swallowing nearly impossible. I take a deep breath and get out of the car, holding the door for Ducky. I try to ignore how slow she moves as she gets out, just one of the many signs I’d been purposely blind to for weeks.

The sound of the door shutting must bring their attention to me.

“Hey, Y/N-” I turn away hastily from who I now know is Moose and take determined strides to my house. I’m too embarrassed by the state of myself to care about being rude. I wait for Ducky in the doorway and look at the porch, suddenly wracked by sobs that quickly turned into desperate gasps for breath. Watching her move so carefully over the steps hurts, so I close my eyes until I feel her wet nose press against my fingers like she was saying it’s okay, Y/N, it’s okay. I’m here, I’m here.

I don’t have much of an appetite that night, but we all sit around the table and pick at dinner. I tell my parents about the day I have planned and we all pretend to not notice one another feeding Ducky under the table. Her wet nose presses against my bare knees, snuffling for more scraps and I scratch behind her ears to comfort myself as I speak.

That night I sleep pressed as close as possible to Ducky, not caring about any noxious gas she might emit or that her fur tickles my nose. I just want to hold her while I still can.

We get up bright and early on Friday so that we can get the most out of the perfect day I planned for her: we’re going to go to Pop’s and I’m going to let her have more burgers than she’s ever had in her life and then we’ll go to the park and end our day at a dog beach two hours outside of town. Dad, in a show of kindness, has offered us the use of his car.

Except when I open the front door, it’s Reggie Mantle and his car sitting in the driveway instead of my dad’s trusty old Toyota. His arm is hanging casually out of the open window, a pair of sunglasses resting atop his head and Vader standing with his front paws on the steering wheel. Ducky, seeing her friend, pushes out from behind me and jogs down the front steps to greet them with more energy than I was expecting.

“Are you coming or what?” Reggie calls to me sarcastically. He’s rolling his eyes, but he’s smiling, too. It’s a rare sight, a Reggie Mantle smile.

“Is this a prank?” I ask him suspiciously, letting my tote fall to the porch and my dad’s keys dangling uselessly from my fingers.

“What kind of prank would this be? The kind where I’m gonna get you and your little dog, too? Get in the car, loser! We’re burning daylight here.” He bangs his hand against the door causing Vader to slip and honk the horn. I move slowly to the driver side of the vehicle, still not quite trusting the situation, and stick my head in. Ducky, knowing better than to jump up on someone’s car, is jogging in circles looking for a way in.

“Reginald, what exactly do you think you are doing in my driveway at 8:30 am on a Friday?” Reggie looks uncomfortable, which usually means he’s moments away from being sincere.

“Your parents called me last night.” Reggie lets that statement linger a moment before he recovers. “Look, Ducky’s practically my dog-in-law. You can’t really think you can plan the perfect day for her and not include Vader.”

For the first time since the appointment, I smile. It’s small, but it gives me a renewed energy.

“Will you just get in the car already?” He snaps and I pull my head back abruptly.

“Right, come on, Ducky! Let’s go.” I open the backseat and coax Ducky to jump up. Reggie’s SUV is a bit higher up than dad’s Toyota, but between me and the captain of the football team we should be able to get her in and out without any issues today. I hop into the passenger seat and narrowly avoid getting headbutted by Vader as he dives into the back seat to be with Ducky.

“So where are we headed?” Reggie asks as he reaches behind my seat to look over his shoulder. He slowly eases out of my driveway and I try to ignore how appealing I find his cologne.

“Pop’s to get burgers.” I answer confidently. Reggie faces forward and removes his arm from behind my seat.

“Okay… but normal people tend to go to Pop’s at 8:00 am for breakfast foods like waffles or french toast.” He says as he switches gears. Despite his statement, he takes the turn towards Pop’s.

“Pop’s to get burgers.” I repeat forcefully.

Much to Reggie’s delight, the waitress at Pop’s had the same reaction to my order.

“You want ten burgers? Is this a joke I’m not getting or sumthin’? You realize it’s breakfast time, right?”

“Yeah, I’m aware of that, thank you very much.”

I couldn’t imagine Ducky’s perfect last day without Reggie and Vader. With them by our side, the day feels epic. We spend the morning walking around the park and throwing a few balls for Vader to fetch. My mind is preoccupied with all the other times Ducky and I spent at the park and Reggie listens to story after story and even adds a few of his own.

“Do you remember when you were like eight years old and your dad had you hold her leash while he got his tools out of the back of his car? She saw that squirrel and dragged you through your lawn and mine before your dad got her to stop. You must have weighed like 40 pounds! And you had all of these grass stains. It was hilarious!”

We laugh together at the memory and the more I smile, the better I start to feel. Reggie and I bump shoulders and eventually he puts his arm around me and runs his palm over my shoulder in a surprisingly comforting gesture.

Before we leave the park I let Ducky have two of her burgers. It’s still early in the day, so I ask Reggie if he minds driving around for a bit with the windows down. He lets me navigate and pick the music. With all four windows rolled down, my hair whips around wildly. The sight of it causes Reggie to laugh which in turn causes me to laugh. In the back seat, Ducky and Vader both have their heads out the window, basking in the scents of their town. I use the side mirror to watch them and Reggie pretends not to notice when I start crying.

I wipe my tears and reach for one of the water bottles Reggie procured at a gas station. Our hands meet and he doesn’t let go.

The dog beach is mostly vacant in the middle of the afternoon on a Friday. Reggie points out a pug wearing a lifejacket standing in the shallows. Vader disturbs the pug by racing into the water, trying to start a game of chase. Ducky, however, bypasses them both and begins to swim out to the middle of the lake. I laugh at her excitement and shimmy out of my shorts.

“I hope you brought your swimsuit, Reginald.” I tease as I pull my shirt over my head.. I take advantage of his shock to throw my clothes in his face. “There’s a beach blanket in my bag!” I yell back at him as I run after my dog.

Reggie starts in on some of Pop’s burgers while he sits on the beach, watching Ducky and I play together. I continue to tread water for a while even after Ducky has returned to the beach. I watch her, Reggie and Vader resting on the blanket and commit the moment to memory. Reggie offers Ducky another burger and my own hunger drives me out of the water.

There’s a sudden rush of guests at the dog beach and Vader runs off to make friends. Reggie follows after him, leaving Ducky and I alone for the first time today. She’s laying on her side, breathing deeply and I scooch down so that I can rest my head on her stomach. I shut my eyes for a moment and let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

I must fall asleep because when I open my eyes again, the light has changed and Reggie is running his fingertips along the arch of my foot. I giggle and kick, rolling onto my side and pushing myself up.

“Jesus, how long was I out for?” Reggie smirks and pulls at a loose thread on our blanket. Vader is curled up in front of us, his fur still damp and my clothes are in a bunched up pile next to him. The sky is alight with oranges, purples and pinks reflecting hauntingly off the water.

“Hours, babe.”

“Don’t call me babe, Reginald.” I sit up fully and pull my shirt over my head with a sigh.

“Whatever you say, babe.” I scoff and roll my eyes, but ultimately let it go. Sitting on the dog beach with Ducky asleep beside me, watching the sunset with Reggie and Vader, felt peaceful. My heart is still broken, but it was a good day full of more laughter than tears. I feel the warm weight of Reggie’s arm across my back followed by his fingers curling around my shoulder, pulling me close to his side.

“I’m glad you let me come.” He mutters, pressing his mouth against my temple in a not-quite-a-kiss.

“I had a choice?” I joke weakly, pressing myself closer to hide my face in his shoulder. I press my mouth against his t-shirt in a not-quite-a-kiss and let the moment wash over me again and again and again.

“It’s okay if you decide you don’t want to be there for this.” I’m sitting on the stairs, trying to find the will to put on my shoes. Ducky is sitting next to me, sticking her nose in my ear. I look up at my mom and give an unconvincing smile, but remain silent. We got home from the beach late last night and my mom let us sleep in which means I haven’t had the opportunity to shower. My hair feels disgusting from the lake water, so I’ve pulled it into a side ponytail. Ducky is loving the unrestricted access to my ear.

“You sure you wanna do this, kid? Your mom and I will be with her. She won’t be alone when she goes.” Dad is gruff as always, but this time I vocalize my response, forcing my foot into my last sneaker and standing.

“I need to do this.” My parents exchange a look that only they can understand. With my shoes on and Ducky’s leash clipped to her collar, we have no other excuses to stay home. When we step out the front door, I see Reggie Mantle in my driveway for the second day in a row. He’s wearing his letterman jacket and a pair of dark wash jeans, his hands buried deep in the pockets. He pulls one of his hands out and raises it in a wave. Ducky heads straight to him, slower than yesterday, and I follow quickly behind.

“Reginald, what are you doing here?” I ask in greeting. I have never seen Reggie look more uncomfortable. He squeezes his eyes shut tightly and rubs the back of his neck.

“I thought maybe I could come with you…?” I think it surprises us both when I accept. My parents don’t question Reggie when he gets into the back seat with Ducky and I, but my dad looks extra gruff. It’s a tight fit with all three of us back there, but it doesn’t matter because I want to be as close as possible to Ducky. I bury my face in her fur and feel Reggie’s fingers move through it in a calming manner. Occasionally the pad of his index finger drags down my cheek. His touch is soft and warm and I cling to each moment of contact for comfort. As panic threatens to overwhelm me, I begin to count each occurrence of an accidental caress. I’ve counted to twenty-one by the time we pull into the parking lot.

I’m visibly shaking when we get to the door of the veterinarian’s office. Reggie puts his hand on my lower back and it steadies me momentarily.

“You don’t have to come in,” my mom offers again, smiling at me sympathetically. She’s wrong and she’s been wrong every time she’s offered it before. Ducky is my dog and I have to be there for her. I won’t take the easy way out. I need to be there for her just like how she was always there for me. I shake my head and imagine that my bones are made of steel and remind myself to be strong for myself and for Ducky. In spite of this, I continue to walk on legs that tremble with each step forward.

Doctor Jameson is waiting in the lobby for us with a sad smile. A ringing is starting in my ears and I worry that I might be going deaf on top of all the other shit I have to deal with. She leads the way to an exam room where a veterinarian’s assistant has just finished her preparations. She gives me a sympathetic smile and squeezes my arm as she passes. Ducky can’t get up on the table on her own, most likely due to our adventure yesterday, so my dad and Reggie work together to lift her.

“She won’t feel anything,” Doctor Jameson says. She looks me square in the eye and I feel her passing some of her strength on to me. “Some people find it comforting to pet them.”

My hand quivers as I reach out and bury it in the thick fur on Ducky’s side. At my touch Ducky’s head lifts and her eyes strain to see me. She is my best friend and I know she can sense the wreckage inside of me. As I look into Ducky’s eyes, I have to choke back tears. The effort of it worsens my shaking and Doctor Jameson has to put her hand on Ducky to prevent her from getting up.

I break and let out an inhuman sob. I suck in air desperately and before I fully descend into grief I say his name: Reggie. Not Reginald, or Captain, but Reggie. I sound utterly wrecked to my own ears and I can’t imagine what my parents think about my behaviour, let alone him. It is a nanosecond before I feel one of his arms come across my torso from behind and the other secures a tight grip on my waist. He’s holding me up, I realize. I am no longer capable of standing on my own.

“She’s gone,” Doctor Jameson whispers and I turn and grip fistsful of Reggie’s shirt, crying so hard that the sound can only be heard by the sensitive hearing of a dog.

I spend my weekend crying and sleeping. Before we left, Doctor Jameson gave my dad Ducky’s collar. It’s a black collar with skulls wearing flower crowns adorning it. I saw it at a flea market and knew it would be beautiful around her neck. I cling so tightly to it that I lose sensation in my fingers for hours. At some point, Reggie brings Vader over to visit. I was too tired from crying to be of much fun. He holds me until I fall asleep for what must be the third time that day. When I wake up, my back is pressed to his chest and our fingers are linked and the back of his hand is resting against the bare skin of my collarbone. Vader is asleep between our legs, his head resting on my calf.

My parents let them stay the night and on Sunday Reggie gets a call from his mom and has to leave. Before he goes, he presses his forehead against my temple and gives my arm a squeeze.

On Monday, Reggie stuns me by approaching me at my locker to ask me how I’m doing. He looks tired and his voice is soft, eyes serious. Not once does he roll them at me. It’s enough to convince me to tell him the truth.

“I keep seeing her everywhere. Like, out of the corner of my eye I think I see her waiting at the top of the stairs, or laying on my bed… but the hardest part is trying to get used to sleeping alone. I haven’t slept alone in ten years, Reginald. To make matters worse, my mom and dad have their yearly couples retreat this weekend. They offered to cancel, but they only did that so that they don’t seem like dickheads. See, if I accept their offer, then I’m the dickhead. Because they expect me to say I’m fine it’s no problem, sure leave me home alone. They just offered so they can at least they say they did. And when they feel bad on their trip they can comfort each other by saying that they offered and I said it was okay. It was never really an offer. It was a societal expectation that has been checked of their list.”

He doesn’t roll his eyes or smirk or smile, he just stares. And I know right then and there that I’ve officially become too much drama for Reggie Mantle. So it’s completely out of left field when I open my door and find Reggie Mantle in my driveway for the third time in a week.

“Hey, Y/N.” My eyes are roaming over him hungrily, taking in as many details as I can. It’s not until this moment that I realize I was scared that I’d only ever seen him again at a distance--at football games, in his yard, in the halls at school.

He lets me look like he understands what I was feeling. I finally focus on the tote he has hanging over one shoulder and Vader’s empty leash in the other hand. “So, I need a favour.”

I raise an eyebrow and sag against the porch railing, gesturing with my hand for him to continue. I’m hoping that the gesture looks cool and indifferent as opposed to what it really is: relief. Relief that Reggie will still talk to me, that he is here in my driveway and that he thought of me when he realized he needed something. Relieved that all our progress from neighbours to friends appears to be in tact.

“So my aunt was admitted to the hospital last weekend and we’re going to be heading to Texas for the weekend to see her and help take care of my cousins. Would you be able to dogsit Vader?” My mouth falls open in shock.

“Dogsit?” I repeat, aghast. Reggie has the gall to smirk at me and roll his eyes.

“Yeah, dogsit. I figure I’d ask you because it’s not like you have plans, right? If you’re too busy, though, Moose can watch him, but he lives pretty far from the park...”

“Don’t be a smart ass, Reginald.” He smirks again, it’s a smug twist of his lips like he’s just won. He whistles and Vader comes racing from down the street, his momentum taking him past Reggie and closer to me. I pat my knees and Vader lopes up the steps and circles my legs with excitement.

“Oh my god, he’s not even going to miss me, is he?” He’s trying to joke with me, but it’s not working. There’s a disconnect between us, an awkwardness because Ducky is gone, but Vader is here. My heart is shattered, his is whole. But Reggie’s had a taste of what it will be like and it has shaken him, at least a little.

“He’ll miss you every second.” I promise him. Before Reggie leaves, I ask him what happened to his aunt.

“Cancer,” he says. And I know we are both thinking of Ducky.

Vader and I spend a lovely weekend together. He likes to sleep under my blankets, curled up against my stomach. We go for walks at the park and the ache of missing Ducky is still there, but I don’t cry once. When we walk home from the park, Vader tugs the leash in the direction of his home and I know that he misses Reggie, just like I said he would. When Reggie gets back from Texas, he finds Vader and I playing fetch in the park. He looks sullen until he spots us.

“Oh Captain, my Captain!” I call in greeting. Reggie surprises me by wrapping his arms around me from behind and lifting me clear off my feet. “Reginald!”

He puts me back on the ground, but continues to grip me tightly. We sway from side to side and then Vader is jumping all over his master.

Every day Reggie knocks on my front door and invites me to walk Vader with him. We talk about simple things, sometimes we share memories of Ducky and I start to heal with their help. One day, I broach the topic of getting a new dog with my parents. They surprise me by saying that they will consider it, but that they think I still need some time.

“You can’t just replace a dog,” my dad announces gruffly. After Ducky has been gone for six months, I ask again and they give their blessing to start looking at shelters.

Reggie is the first person I tell and after several walks I find the courage to ask him if he and Vader will go with me to the shelter. He thinks it’s weird, but he humours me.

“Listen Reginald, Vader is like my dog-in-law. Any new dog of mine has to accept that if they want to be part of the family.”

We’re on our fifth visit to the shelter when I meet Jaspar, a mutt with a sweet disposition who is twice the size of Reggie’s daschund (or as I call him in private, Reggie’s better half). Jaspar’s amber eyes have a regal air about them and seem older than his estimated four years. He’s got short, tawny fur and a white marking on his rump that almost looks like a raindrop. I go into his kennel to meet with him and offer him my hand. He sits and leans forward to sniff at my fingers. Slowly he descends to the floor and rolls to his side.

On our sixth visit, we arrange for Jaspar and Vader to have an introduction. They bond almost instantly.

“I think he’s the one,” I tell Reggie with a hopeful smile. Reggie rolls his eyes and smirks.

“Then what are you standing around here for? Go get your dog!” With his encouragement driving me, I put in the adoption paperwork that day, without consulting my parents. When Reggie and I bring Jaspar home, my father is gruff and my mother is annoyed. In Reggie’s presence, they restrain themselves and it all feels so normal.

It’s possible that I am more excited for our first walk together than Jaspar is. I laugh when he picks up the end of his leash and drops low to the ground with his tail wagging high in the air. My excitement is clearly contagious. I grab for the leash and he playfully jumps to the side, just out of reach. The game ends when Reggie knocks on the door. I make sure I have a good grip on Jaspar’s leash and open the door. Immediately our dogs lunge toward each other with tails wagging. I grin at Reggie over their heads and he smirks back at me. It takes a few minutes for them to calm down enough to start our walk. There’s something charging the air between us, more obvious today than any other day.

As we begin our walk, Reggie’s fingers interlock with mine and suddenly we are holding hands. Not long after that, Jaspar makes an attempt at a squirrel and I need both hands to get him under control again. Reggie doesn’t take my hand again and I try not to feel disappointed.

It’s not long until we reach the park. At this time of day there are only one or two people here. We let our dogs off their leashes and I’m a little nervous for Jaspar. What if he takes off? What if he and another dog get into an altercation?

Reggie pulls a purple ball out of his pocket and throws it to the other end of the field. Both dogs sprint after it and Jaspar catches it on its second bounce. Reggie’s arm reaches around my waist, startling me. He pulls me close and rests his chin on my head.

“Stop worrying,” he tells me firmly. He lets me go to throw the ball again and this time he pulls me into a tight hug, resting his cheek on my shoulder and burrowing his nose in my hair.

“Y/N?” He mumbles. I swallow thickly and focus on keeping my voice steady.

“Yes, Reginald?”

“I’ve wanted to kiss you for months.” He confesses before pulling away. Vader has been waiting for his attention and drops the ball at Reggie’s feet, barking and twirling, look at me, Reg, look at me! Throw the ball, pal, come on, throw it! I’ve been patient. Reggie throws the ball into the bushes this time, but doesn’t reach for me again.

“You could, you know. Kiss me, that is. I’d be okay with it.” I say out loud. Reggie raises his eyebrows and rolls his eyes at me.

“Oh, you’d be okay with it, would you?” He puts one hand on my hip and the other pushes my hair away from my face.

“Don’t be a smart ass, Reginald.” He smirks at me smugly and leans down. Just when I think he’s about to kiss me, he pauses. I gasp at the nearness of him and I know he’s smirking.

“Oh Captain, my Captain,” I whisper and put a hand against his cheek to pull his mouth to mine. His lips are warm and I’m nearly overwhelmed by the sensation of it. It heats me from the inside out. His kiss is firm, decisive, and I part my lips slightly, allowing my tongue to sample the taste of his bottom lip. He squeezes my hip and presses his mouth harder to mine. I reciprocate in kind and suck gently. He pulls back, inhaling deeply through his nose.

“I wish I hadn’t waited so long.” He mutters, framing my face with his warm hands. I reach up to hold his wrists and give him a smirk of my own. He bites his lip and avoids my eye, stepping away from me. He gently pulls his wrists from my grasp and leans down to scoop up the ball that has been deposited at our feet. He whistles to get Jaspar and Vader’s attention, showing them the ball and moving it from left to right. Their eyes remained trained on their hearts desire: the ball. I keep my eyes firmly on Reggie. Eventually he throws the ball into the bushes and our dogs speed away.

“Hey,” I say, demanding with my voice that he look at me again. I reach down for his hand and press it firmly to my cheek, nuzzling it. His thumb strokes my temple and I melt into him. “What’s up?” I ask, forcing my half-lidded eyes to open. Reggie sighs, letting his eyes fall shut as he touches his forehead to mine.

And then Jaspar hits me in the back of the knees with his front paws, nearly sending me falling. Reggie’s quick reflexes allow him to let go of my face and grip my waist instead. Once I’m steady on my feet, Reggie releases his grip on me and growls. He scoops up the ball, throwing it aggressively back to the bushes. His hands come up to grip his hair.

“We’re moving to Texas at the end of the year.” He’s yelling it to the park, pacing like a caged tiger. He sighs and lets his hands fall to his sides. “I’m moving after school is out. My aunt isn’t doing well and she needs full-time care. It’s such a fucking mess.” He kicks a rock and Jaspar turns to investigate while Vader drops the ball at Reggie’s feet. He kicks the ball, too and the dogs run off again.

“I’m sorry,” I say, because I don’t know what Reggie needs to hear right now. “I know you worked really hard for your captaincy, but Texas has amazing football programs. Even if you don’t make captain at least you’ll be playing with people who share your passion for it!” Reggie’s expression is aghast and I force myself to stop babbling.

“It’s just…” Reggie squeezes his eyes shut and takes a deep breath. He opens his eyes and focuses them on me with the intensity I’ve only ever seen him exhibit on the football field.

“I… Vader doesn’t want to go, not now that he has Jaspar to hang out with. It feels like he and Jaspar really have something special together. Vader’s not ready for it to be over. He doesn’t want their time together to be nothing because to Vader, it’s been everything.”

“Reginald,” I start, swallowing thickly. “Your inability to confront your own emotions can be a real dick punch, you know that?” Reggie shouts a laugh and presses his fist to his mouth in surprise. To avoid looking at him, I throw the ball and imagine my fear going with it.

“I can’t believe you just used the words dick punch in a sentence.”

“Well you’re a terrible influence. Jesus Reginald, this was never nothing. It’s been everything to me, too. And if I learned anything from this year, it’s that caring about stuff can be painful, but it’s so worth it. So maybe you disagree, but I want you for as much time as we have left, nothing held back. You, me, and our best friends.” Jaspar has decided that he does not want to drop the ball, but Reggie is working to coax it out. It is covered in dog slime, and Reggie has to wipe his hands on his jeans after he’s thrown it.

“Okay. Let’s do it then. Me, you, and our best friends. For as long as we’ve got.” And he kisses me again, once, twice, three times and then one lingering kiss with enough force to shatter a fragile heart. When the heartbreak hits, I know it will be worth it.

Taglist: @tasteofswallowedwords @forsythe-pendleton-jones-iv

[reviewgames-blog1]

NBA 2K (any year)

Time and time again, if you search the internet for the opinions of nba2k players, the truthful ones are all talking about the same issues.  You’ll notice some untruthful comments mixed in with the rest and these untruthful comments sometimes toss violence towards the direction of the player who’s just telling the truth based on game play experience.  You have to keep in mind…  A lot of underage boys (maybe girls) are playing nba2k.  These kids, have no real knowledge of game development or the programming world and they sure as hell couldn’t derive logic from their young minds.  This short coming causes these young players to resort to defending the game they find fun or even addicting to play and these young minds view the AI of nba2k as competitive and thus any error is human error.

For anyone reading this, let me first give you some insight on me.  As a developer (of any program, app, etc), I will not give my real name or the company I represent but I can tell you this much…  I have been programming and web developing since 2006.  In that time, I watched my programming skills go from poor to top brass but you know what really makes you an outstanding programmer?  It’s not knowing how to program, because anyone can learn to do that or be taught, it’s being able to come up with outstanding logic to do exactly what you want to do AI wise and that is something you can not teach; nor will everyone have it.

Coming up with top brass logic every time is a combination of knowing your programming language well, the API set (or graphics engine) and the OS you’re developing on because there are pros and cons for each.  I can tell you from experience…  Once you reach the level I’m on logic wise, everything you program should work, AI wise, exactly an according to the logic given and if it doesn’t, your logic was flawed…it’s that simple.  What I’m getting at is…  Writing logic to create a life like simulation for something like a sport is not rocket science.  Hell, if you pay attention to the real life sport and incorporate physics and probability, there’s no reason why one (or many) can’t write a sports AI so well done, the player of that simulation will have nothing to complain about, because the outcome of each match will play out so realistic, the player should feel compelled to accept the outcome.

NBA2k’s AI is exactly how you DO NOT want to write a sports AI (any sport)!  Players of nba2k complain about the CPU (my career) having an unrealistic shot percentage, better overall AI, can blow by you every time, guard your player like his very own shadow, make unrealistic blocks and bla bla bla the list just goes on.  You’ll also come across posts mentioning the bad passing system, worthless teammates, missing wide open A+ grade shots you should hit 9 times out of 10.

You know what’s blatant about reading comments like this and having a developers mind (along with programming skills)?  Some players of the game can’t see it!  If players of nba2k were to really pay attention to the game, you can almost see the bad logic in your own mind.  Let me break it down for you as a developer and not an underage kid who has never derived good logic in his/her life and probably can’t write code worth chicken scratch.

For starters, every athlete in real life have their own athleticism.  These men and women have different foot speed, different quickness, different agility, different vertical and etc, you get the point.  With that being fact, why in the world would you try to control all players in a sports simulation with one overall AI?  That’s what AI sliders do, they adjust the playing ability of simulation athletes on the CPU and Human sides as one unit.  That is absolutely brain dead logic for a sports simulation AI.

You can’t do that!

Each athlete has their own abilities so you can’t tie them all together like that because end result will be all athletes playing the same with no real individuality (tendencies make them different but not athleticism wise).  That’s exactly what you see when you play nba2k (or madden).  The CPU can score and score big with any player on its side, which is why you see simulation athletes scoring way more points then they would in real life and that’s not all.  Every athlete in nba2k all seem to have the same flashiness as well.  Why is Marc Gasol blowing by players off the dribble and throwing it down like MVP Derrick Rose….he’s not that vividly athletic.  Why is a player who couldn’t toss a peanut into an ocean, dropping shots from deep mid range and posting 20+ points for the game?

Let me ask you this…  Given what AI sliders do…  What’s the point of having individual player attributes?  Does not AI sliders defeat the purpose of having individual attributes?  Yes, AI sliders do just that!  The concept of player attributes is correct because you must have some way, logically, to define each athletes’ individual athleticism.  What’s the point in doing that though if you’re going to add in a poor concept like AI sliders?  Players of nba2k…if you haven’t figured it out yet, I’ll tell you.  3d Players’ individual attributes mean absolutely nothing!  You gather all those skill points to build up attributes but those attributes don’t define the athleticism of your player (or any others for that matter).  It’s all in the AI sliders (and hardcode).  The only thing building attributes do is cause the CPU the pay more attention to you and play you differently (directly and indirectly) based on what’s hard coded under the hood.  That’s why it may seem like hitting mid range shots while you had an 80 rating was easier than when you got that 90+ rating.

To further prove what I already knew just by playing the game with a developer’s mind, I used Cheat Engine to access the AI sliders for the “MyCareer” mode of the game (which uses the default sliders).  I made a center and maxed out every attribute to 99 (cheat engine).  With the default AI sliders 3 point success rate set to 50, I did not shoot the ball like a player with a 99 3 point shot.  In fact, I watched the CPU go 6 for 7, 7 for 10, and 5 for 8 with players who’s 3 point rating were less than 80 and believe me…I took wide open, A+ shot feed back shots with my 99 shooter.

I then move the default slider for 3 point shot success to 60.  I did make more threes but the percentage was dismal.  I shot the ball like I had a rating of 50 instead of 99 from 3 point range.  I then moved the default 3 point success slider to .68.  My shots were starting to fall like a top shooter now but one thing was still wrong…  I had no consistency even though that attribute was maxed at 99.  As a result, I only shot well when the AI decided to let me do so and when that was not the case….unrealistic results.  I thought to myself, what value on the 3 point success rate would allow me to have a more realistic consistency and then set that value to .70.  That value did the trick…I was able to actually look like a 99 3 point shooter without hitting every shot all the time.

So problem fixed…  Just get cheat engine and get to the default AI sliders…right?  

Nope!

I’ll tell you why setting the Human side 3 point success rate to 70 percent sucked…  Every player on my team were knocking down 3s left and right, even with their individual attributes being below 80.  People, it’s simple…  Attributes do nothing in nba2k (and john madden for that matter), it’s all in the AI sliders and that gives you a bunch of 3d athletes with no individuality, athleticism wise.  AI sliders are garbage and a brain dead quick fix for programmers who can’t derive good, realistic logic for a sports simulation game.

What further makes shooting in nba2k unrealistic is the fact height and jumping on the jump shots are not factors in the shot.  Think about it…  A seven foot three center that shoots the 3 point shot like Reggie Miller, elevates on his jumper while extending his body and long arms upward.  How high of a release point would a shooter like that have?  Even giving it an educated guess, one would have to conclude, a shot being released from that high up would be almost impossible to block.  I would also imagine our seven foot 3 center wouldn’t get bothered much at all by a defender out of position, or gave too much space because our shooter knows his shot is so high up.   A defender would have to be not only chest to chest with him but just as tall and able to jump with him on the shot.  2K(sports) takes none of that stuff into account during a jump shot and it’s evident.

So what would be a better approach for 3d athlete logic?  Like I said earlier, it’s not rocket science.  Toss out the got damn AI sliders and make each individual athlete their own unique AI, which is defined by their attributes only.

Duh!

I’m not going to get into actual code or anything here because I’m not being paid to hand out top brass logic for sports simulation but along with making each 3d athlete a true individual, you have to consider physics and probability also.  For anyone who has played nba2k long enough as a center, you already know (if you pay attention) rebounds are unrealistic in the game.  Why is it, the ball bounces off the rim from a missed CPU shot and 9 times out of 10, the ball bounces right at the guy you’re supposed to be guarding/boxing out?  It doesn’t matter where this guy is, if you’re supposed to be guarding him, the rebound will find him just so you can get handed that “allowed rebound” grade loss (lame).

There is no real physics code behind the ball bouncing against the rim, period…it’s all hard coded under the hood.  Even probability is lost when it comes to rebounds.  Your height, weight, strength, vertical and actual rebounding ability means nothing in nba2k.  I’ve seen the CPU reach through my player’s body to get a rebound that was in my hands.  I’ve seen the CPU get a rebound without jumping, while I was in mid air with both hands on the ball.  The CPU rarely gets called for “over the backs.”  Why is it, when the CPU’s player and I are both in mid air for a rebound, myself being a 7 foot 2 center with 99 vertical going up against 6’9/6’10 with poor vertical, I fail to come down with the rebound at an alarming rate?

It’s not hard to see why players of nba2k complain about the AI being dismal, the logic behind the AI itself is dismal.

You can’t put frosting on “doodoo” and call it a cake! That’s exactly what 2K(sports) has be feeding buyers of the game every year…sugar coated “doodoo.”  The company do no real work what so ever; they just update the roster, tweak the hard code and maybe toss in some lame, so called new feature, like “Lebron to Greatness” or what ever.  If the company were really trying to improve their product and stop stealing money from its customers, they would have given the AI an entire overhaul, tossing out AI sliders altogether (not hiding them either, crooks).

Graphics are nice but graphics don’t make a good game or compensate for poor AI logic.  As and artist myself, I could do the graphics, so I’m not impressed.  AI is everything when it comes to a sports simulation (and a lot of other games for that matter).

You underage players are happy with just the graphics and the fact the game plays at all.  You try to fix things by adjusting the level from pro to hall of fame or what ever but that doesn’t really fix your problems, now does it?  Some of you get desperate and create a custom player for an association team, draft that player and set the player lock on him.  You’re attempting to do your own “MyCareer” through the association because you can manipulate the AI sliders in association.  That’s real sad…  Game play skills or human error has nothing to do with anything because the CPU technically controls everything, including YOU!  If the CPU wants you to miss every shot starting now for the purpose of bringing the CPU’s team back, then that’s what’s going to happen…nothing you do on your part can change that because it’s hard coded in the game’s sugar coated “doodoo” logic.

Some underage players even say this…  Why buy the game then if it’s so bad?

That’s why young people should listen to older people who been where they are and just wait for their time.

People continue to buy the game because they crave NBA style basketball and when the best game out there is sugar coated “doodoo”, that’s what they buy.  If you were starving and on the brink of death and the only option you had for food was raw sushi, you would probably eat the hell out of that sushi before just laying there and dying.

You can argue and make excuses for the game for all eternity but the fact remains the same…  The game has one of the worst written AI in all history of video gaming (and that includes any game that uses the same broken logic).

I can’t see how the programmers for nba2k could be happy with their work; maybe the paycheck, but not the work.  As a programmer, if I was going to make a game (yes I make those), my AI logic has to be top brass.  It has to work from A to Z without flaws and give the most realistic outcome in every frame of game-play.  If performance is an issue, I suggest shaving off the visuals because you can’t shave off AI when it comes to a sports simulation on the PC/Desktop/Console platforms.  Apps are in a different realm and completely a different issue given the hardware involved, although the approach should be the same.

Lets further look at this horrible AI game series (doesn’t matter the year).  If you haven’t noticed yet, and a lot of you probably haven’t, the CPU tries to play stat match during the game (and does).  This is evident during the game but also after, when you look at the box score for both teams.  There’s always somebody on the other team who’s stat line is similar to a player’s stats on your team (including you).  Ever wonder why you’re clearly the best rebound player on the floor and after grabbing almost every rebound, you suddenly can’t get one?  Even if you’re still doing everything the same, the guy you’re boxing out is starting to take your rebounds literally out of your hands.  This is happening because the AI is trying to even out the stat line from team to team.  If you’re lucky, the AI will let up again once things start to look more even.

That’s absolutely unacceptable AI (hardcode) logic!

If real life, you can’t run up to Lebron and say, “James…tone that ‘chit’ down man!  Other players are trying to get rebounds but you getting them all!”  If a player is dominant at something, then you have to put somebody on him that can challenge him or you’re at his/her mercy.  In fact, on that same note, game levels are lame as well.  You can’t say, “Lebron…he’s just a rookie man.  Go on pro bro while the rookie kick it up to hall of fame.”  If you’re a bad player in real life, first off, you’re not even going to make it to a professional level league and if you some how by the grace of God did, you won’t be around the league long.

Going back for a sec here to what I said earlier about 2K(sports) doing no work on the game from year to year….  This is also evident when you do the press conference.  It’s the same old same old “BS” conference year after year.  Why is it, you’re literally the worst player in the league starting out but for some reason, the focus is on you in the press conference, while the true star of the team is sitting with zip-lock lips?  Why are players starting out as this pathetic player who can never go number one in the draft?  That kind of sucks…  It would be so cool to actually enter the NBA on the game as an already fairly elite player, who not only got drafted at number one but has been given the “star” status and start.  Yeah…  Kind of sucks seeing a player at 88 with status “star” and you’re 99 with status “starter.”

The dreaded passing system….

If you’ve played the game long enough and you can’t see it, then shame on you.  The passing system is rigged up to suit the purposes of the CPU’s team.  Almost every pass you make will go through a defender’s window of opportunity.  That’s why almost all passes you make are super lead passes.  There’s no reason to make a pass to your small forward who’s running outside the three point line down the side, and the pass goes right down the middle of the paint where the defender is standing, because the AI is making your small forward run inward now.  People, that’s just flat out cheating AI hardcode.  Lead passes in real life NBA are not thrown that far off the target…it’s not football (not counting breakaways)!  Passes like that in real life would be a “gimmie” as far as turnovers go and that’s why the game does what it does….  To have control over passing turnovers.  (a defense would have to be in lala land to not pick off passes like that in real life) Notice how the CPU pass differently?  In fact, the CPU will pass the ball right through legs and bodies to hit its target.

If you want to even things up, then get cheat engine, get to the default AI sliders and set the CPU’s “play passing lanes” slider to zero.  You’ll now make the same passes the CPU make all the time but don’t think the CPU won’t be able to get to your passes because it will (hard code stuff you can’t change).

One of the biggest mistakes you can make as a programmer of a sports game and you do see it in nba2k, is having no reaction time for the CPU.  As a player, you have to input your actions through a controller type, after you have seen and diagnosed the on court action.  Because of this, the CPU knows what you’re going to do (or what you’re thinking symbolically speaking) even before you actually start doing it in-game.  Yeah, the moment you hit pass, a defender will already be all over the passing lane your pass is going to take, even before you make the pass.  When you hit the speed trigger/button and move your movement stick, the defender already know you’re trying to speed around and what direction you’re going in and can thus act like your shadow (code wise).  This is not only unfair because we humans are not machines, it’s not realistic at all.  Humans have to see something, process it mentally and then react to it.  That can all be done in a split second if we’re talking about someone with outstanding awareness and decision making but considered the fact, you also have to press the buttons on a controller so that has to process too.  No matter how fast an athlete diagnose a play or action, nothing is telepathic in real life.

The only thing that even comes close to that is anticipation.  With anticipation, you have already made up your mind, you’re going to make a play on that point guard’s next pass because you feel you know exactly where he’s/she’s going toss it.  In that case, it’s all about timing.  If you burst just before the point guard start to pass (completely guessing at the time of pass), you may find yourself right in the lane just as the pass is made.  That’s not telepathic folks because you can be wrong or off on timing and end up getting burnt for playing the passing lane.  That’s not true in nba2k because the CPU’s actions are processed before hand, thus giving it telepathic actions.

Yes, things are processed before hand in nba2k, which is yet more bad AI.  How do I know this?  Just pay attention….  You’re bound to take a 3 point shot only to see your stat totals go up before you even hit the shot.  You could be going for a block and see that block register at the top of your screen even before it’s made.  Want to know a good one…?  If the CPU puts up a shot and the guy you’re suppose to box out start heading down court instead of going for the rebound, you already know the CPU hit’s the shot (9 times out of 10 anyway).  The only time the CPU may let up is when the game is for surely over because time is low and your team is up 30+ points.  Don’t get fool by this fork in the AI.

On top of bad AI logic, the nba2k series is also aggravating/annoying as hell.

The grade system…

The grading system is all jacked up.  If a defender reaches up (or jump) for a block and makes the ball handler think twice about putting up a shot, then how in the hell is that a “bad block attempt?”  Seriously!?  The only bad block attempt you can do as a defender in basketball, is to just jump up in the air for a block, for no reason at all, letting the ball handler blow right by you.  How many defenders in real life actually lose their minds on defense like that…  Not many.

“Bad steal attempt”…  Get the hell out of here!  There is no such thing as a bad steal attempt if it doesn’t result in a foul or allow the ball handler to score.  If I’m a coach, I want to see my guys trying to steal the ball all the time on defense.  As long as they’re not committing fouls or getting displaced defensively, get those long fingers in that ball space mates!

“Bad call for the ball”….  This one is one of the lamest things in nba2k.  If your team is losing because your teammates aren’t getting the job done, so you stop passing them the ball and start scoring like the star you are, why in the hell would you get a “bad call for the ball” at some point down the floor on offense?  Your teammates should be begging for you to score because their performance was killing the game but you got the team on the brink of taking the lead.  That’s so garbage….  You think a team in real life go tell Lebron James he made a bad call for the ball?  Hell, Lebron will probably even brink the damn ball down the freaking floor!  As a star player on nba2k, where’s your star player respect from your teammates….  There is none.  I don’t care if you’re a star center; if you have the ball handling skills, you create lots of assists and you’re the best player in the league, the ball should be in your hands because the offense should be playing through you anyway (heeeellllllooooo…Lebron James, anyone?).

“Allowed a man to score”…. This one is lame because all players in real life NBA are professionals and the scorers can score.  The best defenders in the league may keep another player at bay offensively but it’s almost impossible to keep a player from getting two points.  So why in the hell does your game grade drop so heavily when ever the guy your tagged to scores?  The majority of the time, it’s your teammates who are not playing defense and allowing somebody to score but you still get tagged with it as if you’re responsible for every opposing guy defensively.  If the programmers for nba2k had a clue, you wouldn’t lose any points for allowing a man to score every now and then but letting your man score frequently towards a big game, that’s a indication you’re losing the battle on the defensive side.  Why would Lebron care about a guy scoring 10 points when that guy is averaging 25 points a game?  By keeping a 25 point a game scorer to just 10 points for an entire game…that’s a defensive win.

“Allowed a rebound”….  This one is a joke because the CPU will get rebounds it shouldn’t be able to get to, probability wise.  The CPU will also get to loose balls that get counted as rebounds, which is totally wrong.  This grade loss is one of the most annoying because you can clearly see yourself getting to every rebound first but not coming up with the ball.  At times it even feels like you’re not even there because the ball will come off the rim, ignore the fact it’s in your hands and just snug right in the hands of the guy you’re not only boxing out, but a guy who you greatly out size and have the physical gifts advantage over.

“Bad pass”….  This one is practically unavoidable because the passing system is rigged up, to allow CPU defenders passing lane access to every pass you make.  There are times though when you actually pass the ball to a teammate and it hits its target and your teammate scores…but you still see “bad pass” pop up on screen and you don’t get an assists.  How in the hell a pass that hits its target, resulting in a score, a bad pass?  I don’t give a horse’s ‘nutt’ if a defender gets a finger on a pass.  If that pass gets through and results in a score, that’s an assists and a good pass (at least an assist anyway).

Aside from the grading system, another annoying thing about nba2k is the broadcasting…it’s unrealistic at times.  Ever took a few wide open 3 point shots in the game and those shots just miss no matter what (no surprise there) and then a broadcaster would just go ham and start screaming about how you’re hoisting up shots and your accuracy is lacking and how time is running low and bla bla bla….?  That is complete garbage broadcasting and I can’t even imagine a guy keeping his job in real life after going ‘ham’ like that.  I’m sure if he does keep his job, he’ll still get reproached about it at some point.  The broadcasters also completely disrespect the players by cracking all kinds of jokes about them that would no doubt in real life, cause a player to retaliate on social media.  I’ll give you an example…  Damian Lillard was being compared to Kyrie Irving for the longest and he finally took to social media to strike back.  Think about it…  Here’s a guy that got upset because he was being compared to another super star (more or less).  How upset would a player be in real life if the broadcasters were saying stuff like, “you couldn’t slide a piece of paper under him when he jumps?”  Annoying, disrespectful and unrealistic broadcasting in nba2k, period!

Not only does the nba2k series have bad AI logic behind the athletes’ athleticism, the way the game plays as a whole is unrealistic.  At times it seems like you’re playing football instead of basketball.  A good example of this is when you try to drive around a defender.  Unless you used cheat engine to manipulate speed and quickness, you know this is virtually impossible, especially with a point/shooting guard (easy with center).  The defender will stick to you like your shadow and the fact you have way more speed and quickness won’t matter because the game’s logic is based on the sliders, not the attributes (and hard code).  What’s totally messed up is the animations you see during your failed blow by attempt.  You might sometimes go into this stumble that leads you directly out of bounds (‘BS’).  OMG, what’s so messed up about that is the fact, you can be a 299 lbs center and get stumble by a 170 lbs defender.  Really….!?

I can’t stand that tangle up/grabbing/holding animation that kicks in when you try to drive around a defender.  That one not only belongs on a football game, it would be a foul in real life.  There’s another animation where the defender turns you round, bends you over, toss his hands in the air and it appears like he ‘humping’ your booty.  What the hell is that 2K(sports)…  F$%$ing rape is what it is!  What about the moments when you do somehow get pass a defender and you have a clear lane for a dunk or a layup.  All defenders are either nowhere near you, burnt behind you or out of position to make a play.  In this situation in real, if a shooter was flying in for a dunk and you ran over from the far side jumping, you are beat at that point and one of several things are going to happen.  You’re going to foul the shooter and he gets an “and one.”  You’re going to foul the shooter and he miss the dunk/layup.  You’re going to flagrantly foul the shooter with or without an “and one” and there’s the possibly of a fight breaking out and injury.

Defenders in real life know when to just give up the two points and for those who do not, they’re the ones who create “and one” opportunities.  With 2K(sports)’s nba2k series, this is not so.  The game will make defenders go flying through the air, covering unrealistic amounts of ground while in mid air, and then block a dunk.  Really…  Block a dunk….  ??  Do the 2K(sports) team even watch the NBA?  With the way some dunkers throw it down, it’s almost virtually impossible to block a dunk, especially in a situation where the dunker has that clear lane and is already taking off on a late arriving defender.  You’re going to get “posterized!!!!!”  What gets to me the most is not the fact an unrealistic block took place, but the fact the defender glided from 15 to 20 feet away in mid air to do it.  Even Michael Jordan didn’t stay in the air for that long and he had the most hang time ever in the history of the NBA.  He didn’t get the nickname “air” for nothing folks.  I’m not saying a dunk can’t get blocked but that’s one of the rarest things you’ll see in an NBA game, especially if the dunker is like 7’2’’ tall.  Ask yourself…  How many “Shaq Daddy” dunks got blocked over his career?  How many of MJ23’s dunks got blocked over his career?  How many of Lebron dunks got blocked in his still going career?  Why is it the CPU never gets called for fouling you in mid air 97 percent of the time?  The CPU is flying unrealistically right into you in mid air, creating a major collision on a clear path score….  Seriously!?

Go ahead players of nba2k…tell them.  Tell 2K(sports), you don’t like their antics!  Tell them you don’t like the taste of their sugar coated “doodoo.”  Tell them you want your f$@%ing money back…all of it!

Let me just say this for the record…  I do understand in later versions of the game, the “MyCareer” mode or what ever they call it at latest, has an added Spike Lee storyline.  Folks…  Don’t let stuff like that fool you…  It’s still the same old garbage game under the hood.  It doesn’t matter how they modify or twist it up because AI logic is what makes a simulation good or bad and it has nothing to do with the frosting and cherry on top 2K(sports) keep adding.

Even though players of nba2k have complained about the CPU’s AI being better, especially on offense, that’s not really the case.  The CPU seems better because its players (and yours) have no identity, therefore anyone one of them can look like an MVP Derrik Rose at any time.  With attributes meaning nothing, any CPU player can teleport speed wise at any moment and as if that isn’t enough, the AI will slow your own player down or drop you in this invisible quick sand.  The CPU pretty much does the same thing down the floor every trip.  It will dribble penetrate with a ball handler, while the guy you’re supposed to be guarding is trying to get open.  That’s the CPU’s number one objective…score on the human player directly.  Sometimes that means making your teammate run over and start guarding your man for no reason and the CPU tags you to your teammates guy who’s now shooting a wide open shot you know he’s going to hit because the AI rigged it up.  Usually, if the ball handler for the CPU can’t hit the guy you’re guarding for a score, it’ll either finish with a layup or dunk and if nothing else, kick it out to another CPU player and that player will shoot and hit a shot regardless of the defense being played on him (usually a 3 point shot).  Your teammates will somehow allow the CPU backdoor cuts all game long for dunks and layups.

That is brain dead CPU AI but it seems to work because players’ attributes mean nothing, therefore allowing the CPU to play above and beyond with any player as needed in order to score on you and your team (especially you).  If you use cheat engine to even things up like speed, passing and 3 point shooting, you take away the CPU’s above and beyond super ability and that’s when the CPU’s AI stand out as a completely uncompetitive joke.  However, you can’t stop the CPU from teleporting its guys speed wise in some instances because it’s hard coded.  Several examples are, loose balls, rebounds and unrealistic blocking of dunks and sometimes jump shots.  It’s an complete insult to the human player’s intelligence when you have a 7’2” center with 90+ blocking and you can’t block CPU players way lower than you but those same smaller players will somehow come flying in from 30 feet away, in mid air (unreal hang time) and block your dunk….at 7’2” tall….while they’re like 6’3” tall.  In real life, that would be a “posterization.”

I have seen smaller players in real life deflect/strip the ball from a seven footer in the act of shooting and that strip gets chalked up as a block but I’m sure everyone who saw it knows it’s not really a block but lets give the little guy one anyway….because he’s Nate Robinson.  Over the course of my nba2k game-play, I have recorded replays of things that were so unrealistic or low probability wise, you would go completely speechless if you saw the videos.  The CPU reaching through your body to poke balls loose, defenders jumping across your back like a monkey to make a steal that would be a foul in real life, CPU rebounders dislocating shoulders to get rebounds they are not in position for, human side ball handlers loosing the ball on the dribble the moment anyone nips against them, ball go through hands on perfect blocks, CPU playing the passing lane without even facing in the direction of the ball, unrealistic super saves of the ball going out of bounds (especially after the CPU magically knocks it out your hands), none 3 point shooting centers hit damn near half court shots on fadeaways, your own teammates setting screens for the CPU's offensive players against you (wow...), CPU traveling left and right, CPU gets caught on a screen and left in the dust but somehow the same defender makes a block at the rim, CPU gets shot or dunk blocked but it still goes in the basket, you can have your hand literally through the face of a CPU shooter and the CPU hits the shot, the CPU breaks your arm causing it to spin on a 360 just so you can't block its shot, you time a steal perfectly only to see your own player jump in an odd direction or go into this retarded animation that holds long enough for your man to blow by you for an easy score.

Believe me...I can go on forever with the cons of nba2k.  It looks so lame when you start running full speed and a defender can not only run with you while "shimmy" stepping (not even probable unless the ball handler is turtle slow), but move like your shadow.  Again, that's do to speed and other attribute ratings meaning nothing.  I know I addressed  this earlier but I want to follow up.  In real life, if somebody started to run around you at full speed, you have to stop "shimmy" stepping and run at full speed yourself.  If that ball handler is running out to the side of you, which is usually the case when they want to go around, it's almost impossible to cut their path off (unless you're clearly the faster guy at full speed).  In a situation were you got an MVP Derrik Rose hitting the gas to go around you, you'll most likely find yourself running as fast as you can at his side because again, you'll have to outrun a ball handler in order to get in front of him for a cut off.  Once the ball handler gets on your hip, you have to turn and run with him full speed.  It's all about help defense in moments like that but 2K(sports) don't understand that apparently.  You'll eventually get tired of seeing centers and power forwards with speed and quickness attributes under 45 run with guys who are 80+ on speed and quickness (your attributes mean nothing!!!!).  That's almost double a defender's speed and if you're twice as fast as somebody, you're going to leave that person in the dust at will, which is why we don't see center vs point guard match ups in real life (unless on a switch or during a displaced defense trying to get back in place).  I've seen Chris Paul on centers in real life and no crap...the man could of just wiggled his pinky finger and blew by those slower defenders.  Of course, Chris Paul at times made them look even more slow by getting them off balance and dropping a floater over their long, out stretched arms.

If it were the nba2k game, those centers would have been on Paul like the white on rice and probably knocked his a#$ over, causing him to stumble out of bounds for a lame turnover; or maybe bounce their thumb against Paul's jersey, causing him to just lose the handle on the ball for a turnover.

Going back to teammates...  Another thing your own teammates are good at doing is getting in your way on offense (and defense for that matter) and they do this several different ways.  One, if you're posting up for a shot, they'll come over and just stand right on top of you, totally not caring about spacing at all (they even follow you!).  Two, if you have the ball and looking to drive, they'll post up right in your driving path and at times, they'll do it just as you start to drive.  Three, they'll get right next to you when you're looking to score, which also brings their defender into the picture and now you have two guys on you instead of one.  It's bad enough you're teammates won't take wide open shots when you pass them the ball or move around, set screens and cut to get open.  When they do finally take a shot off your pass, it's either just before the clock expires (forcing them) or after they stood there and let a defender get in position on them and then force a shot.  If they truly take a wide open shot off your pass, bet on it missing 9 times out of 10.

Next time you play nba2k, just think about the fact the players you see on screen have no individuality other than their appearance; because the attributes that should define them are just there to fool players into thinking the skill points are needed to build a better player.  It's all in the AI sliders and if we're talking a mode like "MyCareer", you can't get to the AI slider (besides, it uses the default AI slider anyway and that one you can not change unless you do it using something like cheat engine).  Even if you did have sliders in "MyCareer", the game would still suck because of no individuality from player to player athleticism wise.  There is one mechanism that make players act differently such as how often they shoot or don't shoot and that's tendencies.  Tendencies however, are not the same as attributes.  Tendencies don't define athleticism but more or less, game habits.

Another thing you should notice about the game is the fact, it does not keep track of what’s going on in the league.  You can be going against your next opponent only the hear the broadcasters say, it was a stream of threes from your team last game and that got the win.  You know for fact, your team won the last game by scoring in the paint, so what the hell are the broadcasters talking about?  Why is it, when you’re in the press conference, a reporter will ask a question about you getting 11 assists in the game when in fact, you’re averaging a triple double?  Why would a reporter talk about your 8 rebounds when you had 20 assists?  Nba2k doesn’t follow what’s going on in the league or individual games and it doesn’t address what it should address during a press conference and as a result, you get a strong feel of an unrealistic league overall.

Let me just jump to game versions for a minute...

It's fact the PC version of nba2k is not the same as the console version.  The console version is way more polished, even though the AI is still broken.  Fans of the game have all stated their opinions of why 2K(sports) would create a half-assed game for PC fans and drop the full production for console fans.  For starters, that's a slap in the face for fans who enjoy playing on the PC platform.  I don't care if the game is sold cheaper or what ever, I have never seen a professional company, make a game for multiple platforms, and their game gets half-assed for one or more of the platforms.  2K(sports) is the first company I have ever known in all my years of gaming to do such an unprofessional thing.  So why would they do it?  Is it because they feel the game will get hacked on the PC platform...?  Maybe, maybe not but the real reason is this folks...  There's money developing for the console platforms.  When you develop for the Playstation, you're developing for Sony's system.  When you develop for the Xbox, you're developing for Microsoft's system.  You best believe your a&% there is money slid under the table for developing for the consoles because you are in fact promoting those consoles.

PC platform has the best hardware, PEROID and that's no secret.  A console can not complete with a server build desktop designed for gaming.  The PC/Laptop platform also get faster hardware upgrades.  Every new console that hits the market is just playing catch up, hardware wise, to the PC/Laptop platform.  Here's the thing, there's no one to promote when you develop for the PC platform except your own company.  Developers are free to develop for Windows, Linux and Mac operating systems but why go there if you can earn money by promoting a console, just by simply releasing a console version of your game?  Get a clue folks, that's why you see 95 percent of games released on consoles and not PC/Laptop because if all those games were released for the PC as well, how many people would actually want a console given the hardware power and usability of a solid desktop?

The name of the game is money, gamers...  It's not about you...  Never has been and never will be so stop acting like these companies give a damn about any of you.  The men at 2K just 'wanna' get paid big so they can get their blow jobs, the hell with you liking the game or not because you're going to buy it anyway...year after year because it's the best sugar coated "doodoo" on the market right now.

Sorry to hit you all with the truth like that but it's always better to live in the real world.

2K needs to just drop the PC version altogether because fans of the game should be treated as equals and not split up based on platform.  Why feed one group super "doodoo" while the other group swallow regular "doodoo?"  Complete bulls*_t is what it is!

Mark my words folks...  There will one day be a company that will drop sports simulation games that will not only take over and redefine sports simulations but will also end all current sports game titles on the market now.  Such a company is going to do it by coding the greatest sports AI written and that AI will be so perfect, it'll never have to be re-written from year to year, just made even smarter if anything.

Making games is work “kiddos”…  It’s easy to pick one up and play it but designing one, especially solo, can be a real testament to your man-hood or woman-hood but there are those who just make them for a paycheck, and there are those who really want their work to reflect back on their professionalism.

If I were to judge 2K(sports) professionalism by their work, then It’s safe to say their professionalism is about as professional as sugar coated “doodoo.”

Regards

[365footballorg-blog]

World Cup: Predicting the 2022 USMNT roster | Armchair Analyst

July 18, 201812:10PM EDT

The World Cup is officially over! That means it’s time for a quadrennial tradition: I predict the USMNT roster for the subsequent World Cup, in this case Qatar 2022.

First a little context:

This is hard. I went 0-for-23 last time hahahaha ohgodIcan’tbelievewedidn’tmaketheWorldCup.

Seriously though, I had some wild misses from the 2014 version of this column. There just wasn’t enough top-tier young talent making a case for themselves.

The young guys who were supposed to evolve into USMNT regulars (Luis Gil, Joe Gyau, Josh Gatt, Junior Flores, Shane O’Neill, Emerson Hyndman) largely didn’t.

Even in a well-developed soccer nation, it’s difficult to predict who will rise. Four of England’s starters in 2018 had, in 2013-14, played in the Championship or below, and a fifth (Harry Kane) was a little-used sub.

The US have more talent coming through than at any other point. This is good (yay, talent!) but also makes my job difficult (which prospects will turn into players?).

Haven’t had time to double-check these numbers, but here’s a quick look:

• In the entire 2017 season, domestic teenagers played 9985 @MLS minutes

• in the ~50% complete 2018 season, domestic teenagers have played 10,538 @MLS minutes

— Matthew Doyle (@MattDoyle76) July 16, 2018

Younger players are getting more MLS minutes than ever before, and developmental curves have accelerated. This is an unvarnished good thing, as Homegrown players are, generally speaking, more polished at a younger age than their predecessors.

But yeah… I’m mostly throwing darts here.

Below is my list of 23 players for the 2022 USMNT that will head to Qatar, including each player’s age four years from today. Please enjoy this for what it is:

GOALKEEPER: Zack Steffen (27), Tim Melia (36), Jesse Gonzalez (27)

Steffen seems to have a leg up over the rest of his cohort – which includes Gonzalez, as well as Alex Bono, Matt Turner and Ethan Horvath – despite oopsies like this past weekend against NYCFC. His pure shot-stopping ability is unrivaled, and while his ball-playing ability remains a work in progress, by forcing him to work with his feet now, Gregg Berhalter’s doing Steffen a long-term solid.

Melia is currently the best all-around goalkeeper in the US pool, just edging Brad Guzan (who will be 37 in 2022, and very much in play to claim a spot here). 

The biggest disappointment is that Bill Hamid hasn’t made any sort of run at this job. He’s on the bench in Denmark these days, and was poor in his most recent US appearance.

LEFT BACK: Danilo Acosta (24), Antonee Robinson (24)

Acosta has fought through an early-season benching to lock down the permanent starting LB job for RSL, and adds value on both sides of the ball – which continues a trend he set last year both at the U-20 World Cup (the US made the quarterfinals) and with his club team late in the season.

He is easily the best passing LB prospect the US have had in the pipeline in recent years, which is probably a function of having spent a good part of his youth development at defensive midfield. His ability to hit line-breaking passes from the fullback slot can and often does change the shape of the game for the Claret-and-Cobalt, and he’s done very well in 1v1 defending against the likes of Alberth Elis and Michael Barrios.

Robinson, who got 30 games in the Championship and might be playing for Everton in the EPL this year, beat the hell out of a bad Bolivia team seven weeks ago:

If you thought Weston McKennie was the only standout from last night’s game, Antonee Robinson would like a word with you. pic.twitter.com/MUjCHZk7Oy

— Joseph Lowery (@joeInCleats) May 30, 2018

His speed and crossing ability are both weapons that need to be maximized, and can be in either a typical back four or any version of a 3-back or 5-back set-up.

If you want to focus on a young, up-and-comer: George Bello is your guy. But he’s just 16, and is probably two or three years from getting regular MLS minutes.

CENTER BACK: Matt Miazga (26), John Brooks (29), Tim Parker (29), Erik Palmer-Brown (25)

The first two pick themselves, and I’ll be surprised if they’re not the go-to CB pairing for the majority of the upcoming cycle. Something will have gone very wrong if they’re not.

Or perhaps something will have gone very right, because Palmer-Brown is one of three relatively young options (Justen Glad and Cameron Carter-Vickers being the other two) with a ton of experience and a ton of upside. I’m currently betting on EPB to outperform the other two because unlike Glad he doesn’t get ragdolled, and unlike CCV he can pass the ball.

But it’s still wide open.

Parker I have in there because he is a rugged and steady backline presence who is adequate or above at everything, and has the added bonuses of being 1) a superior athlete to just about everyone else in the CB pool, and 2) left-footed.

RIGHT BACK: Tyler Adams (23), DeAndre Yedlin (29)

I’ve said it a million times, but I won’t let that stop me from saying it again here: Adams has the talent to be a really, really good defensive midfielder. He has the talent to be a world class right back. I think he ends up there.

Yedlin is and has been an EPL starter for a while now, but it’s strange to me he’s still so often a liability in 1v1 defense, and I wonder if that will ever change. But even though there are a bunch of up-and-coming right backs – Reggie Cannon, Brooks Lennon, Shaq Moore, Jaylin Lindsey – it’s hard to imagine Yedlin falling out of the rotation while he’s in his prime.

DEFENSIVE MIDFIELD: Weston McKennie (23), Chris Durkin (22)

I hate the fact that Schalke keep using McKennie – who’s probably a No. 8 right now, but should be a No. 6 by this time next year – as a center back in fits and starts. It’s a bizarre decision considering the kid’s potential:

Digging through old GIFs and I am reminded that Weston McKennie can be a filthy man. pic.twitter.com/aCfX9yNore

— Scuffed (@zlebmada) July 13, 2018

Durkin outright won the starting d-mid job from an in-his-prime Venezuelan international already, and he is a game-controlling distributor who’s manning the toughest spot on the field as an 18-year-old. He’s not exceptional at digging the ball out of a scrum in 1v1 defensive situations, but he reads the game very well, has good strength, and generally makes things easier on his teammates.

CENTRAL MIDFIELD: Keaton Parks (24), Cristian Roldan (27), Paul Arriola (27)

Parks has maybe the softest feet in the pool, as well as the greatest passing range. His ability to receive the ball in traffic, spin away from pressure and then switch the field of play – and then get forward – is why he was winning minutes for one of Europe’s best clubs at age 20. He has a good shot at being a starter for Benfica this coming season.

I had to flip several coins between Roldan, Marky Delgado and Kellyn Acosta, but the short version is this: Even when his team has been bad, he has been consistently good, and he can play three or four different spots (depending upon how you feel about him as an off-the-ball attacking midfielder). The same goes true for Arriola, who has turned into an all-energy No. 8 over the past couple of months, but has also played as both a pure winger and a two-way, touchline-to-touchline wingback in his young and thus-far-pretty-impressive career.

This list can and will change a ton over the coming years, and there are a few younger guys who have, I think, greater potential than either. But Roldan and Arriola are my calls (for now).

ATTACKING MIDFIELD: Andrew Carleton (22), Sebastian Lletget (29)

Has he played only 29 total MLS minutes? Yes. Has he been inconsistent in USL? Yes. Does he have some of the best players in the league ahead of him? He sure does. But I’ve still got my money on Carleton, who’s looked good-to-great every time he’s gotten to play with the full Atlanta squad, be it in brief regular season cameos, or in the US Open Cup where he did this:

It looks like he’ll have to prove he can dominate in the USL, and then dominate with the US U-20s – the CONCACAF Championship is in November – before getting real minutes in MLS. So be it. I think he’ll get there.

Lletget’s been largely forgotten about because of his injuries over the past two seasons, but as an all-around attacking presence he’s been excellent when healthy, and long-term I hope he wins a spot in the hole underneath the Galaxy front line.

There aren’t a ton of 10s coming through the ranks, but you’d probably want to keep an eye on Gianluca Busio, Frankie Amaya and Richie Ledezma.

WINGER: Christian Pulisic (23), Tim Weah (22), Jonathan Lewis (25)

Pulisic’s the first name on the list. Weah wasn’t as good with the U-17s as Carleton, but he’s gotten minutes for PSG and hasn’t looked out of place, and he’s scored goals for the USMNT. I think most would consider it a stretch not to include him on this list.

Lewis has been a game-changer pretty much every time he’s gotten on the field for NYCFC, and I don’t see why that wouldn’t continue. In fact I expect it to continue – he plays with a purpose and clarity lots of young attackers lack, and punishes the hell out of backlines that aren’t precise when trying to play through him:

There are a few other young wingers who should be in the mix, like Bofo Saucedo, Chris Mueller, Jonathan Amon and Emmanuel Sabbi, while the even younger, USL-based cadre has too many prospects to list.

CENTER FORWARD: Josh Sargent (22), Jozy Altidore (32)

Sargent is, hands-down, the best forward prospect in the player pool, and my great hope is that we get to see him prove it this year in the Bundesliga for Werder Bremen. He hasn’t been playing much with the first team in preseason, but he’s been scoring a bunch for the second team and that bodes well for his near-term and long-term future.

As for Jozy… he’s better than Bobby Wood, better than Jordan Morris, better than Gyasi Zardes, better than Andrija Novakovich (whose numbers in the Dutch second flight were not as good as Jozy’s in the Dutch top tier). Age 32 is long-in-the-tooth, but not precisely old, and I’ll just say it: I’m not super confident that any of the younger forwards I’ve seen (besides Sargent) will be able to displace Altidore this cycle.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Four years ago writing this column was cathartic. Writing it this time has been much different, a mixture of anxiety (which of these guys will actually live up to their potential?), worry (goodness, that’s a really young roster I just picked) and hope (goodness, that’s a really talented roster I just picked).

Whoever the next head coach is will have a ton of questions to answer, but a ton of raw material to work with. I’ve been following the USMNT for 35 years, and this is the blankest I can remember the slate being since the very beginning of that span. No fate but what we make.

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World Cup: Predicting the 2022 USMNT roster | Armchair Analyst was originally published on 365 Football