#Polyam problems

[frogsforthefrogwar]

Polyamorous people being pressured into monogamous relationships is just as shitty and significantly more common than monogamous people being pressured into polyamorous relationships but the later are always given more sympathy and coverage

Its just really frustrating

[secretsideblogshhhh]

So fucking sick of polyamorus hate.

I'm proud to be polyamorus.

I love my partners. All of them.

Every day I get closer to being an evil polyamorus person (evil as in I just start telling people to go fuck themselves)

I love polyamory. I love polyam people.

We all fucking rock.

Love makes the world go 'round and my fucking God do we have a lot of it.

[gornwen]

Sometimes being polyamorous means you are confronted with absolutely terrible predicaments, such as having to go get ice cream twice in one day with two different partners. The horror.

[lycanz-mutt]

I really hate how a lot of polyamory media is either closed polycules because that’s more acceptable to monogamous people or very over sexualised and fetishy and that’s all the polycule is based off is sexual stuff

I also dislike when everyone is dating everyone like obviously for writing reasons I understand it’s nice to have simplicity however I want a polycule where not everyone is dating and not everyone has the same relationship with eachother I wanna see QPRs and D/S relationships and purely romantic relationships all mixed together in polycules and even have some casual flings in the mix like give me realistic stuff yk?

I wanna see cuddle piles and group dates or even bringing back the left overs for the partners that didn’t go on the date and when you interrogate ur partners on who took ur fav shirt because you know one of them has it

[walkawayinsin]

Dear monogamous people

Before you start dating a non-monogamous consider this: We're not your go-to when you're single. We're not into casual automatically. It's not always about the sex - doesn't even have to involve sex overall. It's about connecting. It's about love. It's about the freedom to love.

Being interested isn't enough. You need to understand your own responsibility when you're dating someone who isn't monogamous.

Dating with the purpose to convert someone from non-monogamy to monogamy is as bad as if we were forcing non-monogamy on you guys.

Be clear about your intentions, your boundaries, your view on the relationship. Communication is the key.

If you've had bad experience with non-monogamy reconsider how much it affects you in the present situation. Are you truly desiring to try out non-monogamy again (knowing the situation might be different) or are you just purely ignorant about it at the moment because you're on cloud nine? Falling in love with someone doesn't equal you're practically going to work as a couple. Just because they are poly it doesn't mean that they're okay with simply cuddling and sex.

Don't date or even be involved with non-monogamous if you can't handle their choice of relationship-lifestyle. We deserve commitment, respect and honesty as much as monogamous counterparts.

[mini-and-mighty]

When 2/3rds of the throuple takes ADHD meds and both of them can't get a refill because the pharmacy doesn't know when they'll be able to restock...

Third member of the throuple be like:

Meanwhile the other two are just:

[the-one-eyed-seer]

Sometimes polyamory gets out of hand and it starts sounding like Russian nesting dolls. “My partner, and their partner, and their partners partner, and their partners partners partner,”

[l3vi4than]

My husband: *having family quality time with our wife*

Me, standing there at their door with this bottle of lemonade i cannot open:

[thirtycharacters]

Being single and polyam is exhausting. I have so much love and care and nowhere to direct it

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

not the discussion on a queer group on fb about whether polyamory is lgbtq 🙄

Can I just say that exclusionism is hurting us all, and queerness is situational, political and individual. My cishet polyam sister whos living in rural south germany is more discriminated against for being polyam than I, a blue haired nonbinary city queer, am for any part of my identity. Queer is just "different from the norm" and the norm is cishet monogamous couples who only have vanilla sex for reproductive purposes. Literally anything that isn't all of that is almost by definition queer; what you wanna call yourself and which groups you wanna be a part of is fully your own decision but no one else gets to tell you you're not a part of the sexual minorities group when you're actually wanting and needing to be part of the sexual minorities group

[prettybbychim]

i have a question for the poly side of tumblr lol

i’ve had two experiences w poly people that have…confused me. i’m wondering if this is normal behavior in polyamorous relationships/adding new partners to a current polycule.

first experience was with a married couple, a man and a woman. i met the woman on a dating app, she was looking for a partner for herself but her husband was open to meeting any new partner with the possibility of him being involved if things went well.

i met up with both of them at the same time and during the date, i learned that the husband had another partner (f) out of state. there was some nasty jealously involved there that did raise a red flag. i also learned that they both shared another partner (m) who they were roommates with. they didn’t have many good things to tell about him though and implied that he imposed himself into the relationship and they allowed it out of pity.

thinking back on it, is it normal to not tell me about the other partners? i was under the impression it was just the two of them up until the point they told me it wasn’t.

second experience was from a different dating app lol this guy had no indication on his profile of being poly. we got along well and were talking for awhile. we exchanged twitters and that’s where i learned he was poly, as he had it in his bio.

again, i was under the impression he was currently single. i didn’t ask about his bio, which is my fault. but i started getting suspicious, i’m not even sure why. i asked him if he was talking to anyone else. he said he was, is that okay?

i didn’t feel good about it, thinking it was another person from the app. which i felt i couldn’t be upset about because we weren’t exclusive.

i truly got upset when he told me it was actually his girlfriend and that they had been together long before he and i started talking.

i felt like i was “the other person,” the one he was using to cheat on his girlfriend with. maybe that wasn’t the case, maybe she was okay with it and knew about me. but at the time i felt like a dirty secret and that i wasn’t deserving of knowing of his primary partner.

things could have turned out way differently if he had just been open about it from the start. i would’ve had no problem whatsoever.

needless to say, never spoke to him again lol

again, i ask, is this normal behavior?

i would assume that you would lay all your cards on the table when meeting someone of potential interest. i am poly, i have a husband and a boyfriend. are you okay with that?

i don’t know if i’m being weird or expecting too much. i would like to know anyone’s thoughts on this because i would really like to learn from these experiences and avoid repeats, if i can help it. because i didn’t like how these things were handled and that is not what i want for myself and any relationship i’m involved in.

[frogsforthefrogwar]

[the-mechanica]

me, realizing both my anniversaries are coming up: oh right, why do I got to be so romantic in the Fall? Is it cuffing season? it's cuffing season, isn't it?

[no-sp4g-4-b4by]

I'm sad :( polyamory is hard :(

[marichai]

trying to get over someone with someone new doesn't work if you're polyam btw. heart will just go, "aight, add em to the roster nbd"

[elliesophiasaur]

Heart hurting a lot today, woo boy