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[letswatch911]

Buck and Eddie are going to have such good wedding outfits

[rosesradio]

…i truly cannot do it in these conditions anymore

[sambadeamigosgato]

This is what happens when the poker night 2 gang plays mario party. I don't make up the rules.

You don't understand how funny this is. All i'm gonna say is Ash is Choctopus, Claptrap is Vernias, Sam is Tiny, and Brock is Kai.

[ganymedesclock]

So that #Syrin the Dread Blade tag, thats a new one. Seems like a interesting character, a sentient sword, how did Tyler happen upon them? What does the sword look like, and does it have any special magical abilities? How do they like the other members of the party? Do they actually speak or do they have a telepathic voice?

Technically it's just a tagging misconception; I haven't tagged Syrin reliably before because his nature as a sword does mean he's kind of attached to Taylor. But he is his own dude!

A short primer: magic items in this setting tend towards a level of awareness. Magic is essentially what souls are made of, ergo, if you stuff enough magic in anything, it starts to have a soul, and behaves accordingly. Entities as fully developed and chatty as Syrin are rare; far more common is that magic items tend to feel just a little bit haunted, inclined towards some things and away from others. It's a bit creepy if you're not used to it; enchantments are commonplace and widely accessible, so that 'not being used to it' is more a statement on if the individual is used to handling a particular thing.

Syrin himself is the ostensible opus of the previous Lord of Darkness, a Dark Sword that was meant to contest and cancel out the legendary sword of light wielded by the hero. Ostensibly, because for unknown reasons Syrin was left in storage the eve of the fateful battle. Being groomed exclusively for this purpose by someone he regarded as a father and then abandoned for ten years definitely wasn't traumatic or terrifying for someone with the cognitive level of a child, we promise. Especially since Syrin needs to eat.

Syrin's construction, and what leads Taylor to point out he's a bit like a 'needle', is a crystal-bladed thrusting sword with a hollow core. Despite its delicate looks, the blade is actually both quite sharp and highly durable; the thin tube at the center being essentially his mouth, by which he is supposed to drink blood. His victims', if he can get it, or, failing that, magically drawn from his host. As a result his blade itself ranges from grayish translucence to dark red if he's gorged to fullness.

From there, he has the power to generate and shape a kind of magical flesh, allowing him to weave more elaborate forms around his core body, the sword.

As you can guess, this gives Syrin a somewhat unpleasant and brutish first impression on people, as he has no verbal filters, was raised by a would-be conqueror of the world, and is dependent on blood and thus interested in more fights than not. I've described him before as like a preteen on xbox live who talks up a nasty game mostly out of loneliness and a need to be liked, where you can tell the kid themselves is not as bad as the people who taught them all those words and that they were "funny".

Deep down (and not all that deep, like I said, no filters), Syrin is a vulnerable child who was groomed to do violence and got no experience with it until strangers came to loot the dangerous ruins he was held in, at which point he did what you'd expect a strong but sheltered child to do faced with a home intruder, and killed/devoured that individual in a panic. His first kill being no glorious conflict or victory approved by his father, but essentially a desperate scramble in the dark with himself on the edge of fatal starvation messed him up even more than ten years of silence.

Enter Taylor and party, who happen to pass through those same environments. Syrin makes an attempt to body-snatch Taylor that fails due to the latter's particular properties, and Taylor, being both a good-hearted person and a stubborn busybody, feels obligated to bring this chatterbox with them and attempt to bully him into developing some sense of tact while Syrin attempts to Corrupt His New Wielder To Violence.

This doesn't work because Syrin has no real ideas how to go about corrupting someone besides loudly telling them to stab things more, while Taylor is an apprentice surgeon and mortician who is a lot more desensitized to bodies and their workings such that if they have a weapon, they'll at least consider it as a solution to most problems. So the punchline is that Syrin is more often thrown/flabbergasted by Taylor than vice versa, while the latter just sees him as a sort of annoying kid who's easily talked into almost anything as long as you compliment him first.

[futurama]

drawing ocs that have nothing to do with each other

[applejuiceyjuice-art]

next story event: the sites go to las vegas

[misscammiedawn]

Somehow I missed that Pretty Good is back with a new episode after 6 years of silence on the topic of Reform

I'm watching, enjoying. 26 minutes in when...

I really enjoy when I'm listening to a video essay and the creator just casually throws shade at their own audience like it's no big thing.

You're not slick, Jon Bois.

[justaboutsnapped]

idk man i think a brocedes professional poker player au would be 1) really funny and 2) batshit insane. also a Big Money Sport. the stakes are crazy high. and it's alllllllll about mind games (literal poker faces!!!).

Nico is a known poker player (and is supposedly quite good)! Lewis played an online high rollers event. There's also this interview:

I know next to nothing about poker but think about it. The exorbitant amounts of money being thrown around. Rich people parties (poker player Nico's natural habitat). possible alcoholism. definite mental illness. idk about lewis but for nico i'm picturing him still being the champion's son but he's girlfailing his way through life (lowkey inspired by the excellent street racing cokehead nico AU) but it's okay because he's winning so much money!!! right??. the brocedes dynamic is gonna be so fucking scrumptious. poker is an every man for himself situation so it'll be intriguing to figure out a way to translate the teammate dynamic.

this is technically unrelated to brocedes but this video essay I saw last year (thanks Pandi <3) is basically all I know about poker and it's genuinely so so scary and insane (half an hour of watching grown men break down and have the worst time of their lives) and makes me think really normal brocedes thoughts. Thinking about the quotes "they play the best poker they can and poker does. not. care. about any of them", and "[he] refused to acknowledge the odds and the odds disappeared"...

[florallylly]

concept: card shark steve harrington, heir to a chain of casinos

[lunarrolls]

whenever i need a laugh or a smile i go back and watch the early bells hells episodes. like pre-bassuras was such an insane vibe for an adventuring party and the shit they got into? unparalleled. truly just a collection of guys doing shit and sometimes experiencing consequences. and then bassuras came down on them like the fucking sword of damocles. i hope that one day, when this is all over, bells hells will still travel, doing dumb shit and fucking around like they once did for lord ariks eshteross. i hope they find that peace once their questions are answered, but i don’t know if a quiet life is for them. i think they’d just continue on, continue to scheme, do incredibly chaotic shit for forever. just let them throw parties, root out government corruption and little shade creepers every once in a while, and pretend to be ghosts, that’s the proper bells hells post-campaign enrichment plan

[definitelynotshouting]

I keep thinking about that one ask where it was mentioned that the hermits had never seen grian healthy before and im just like.

Man *said in the same tone as that one horse on a beach meme*

Imagine knowing someone for years and years and then realizing that they were on the brink of starvation the whole time

im not exaggerating when i say i think about this LITERALLY all the time. its just so harrowing. regardless of what any given person thinks about the situation, its just so objectively scary-- to know someone and be good friends with them for so long, and then learn they were actively dying in front of you the entire time you knew them.... thats terrifying.

And its gonna be something that pretty much universally gives every hermit at least a momentary pause. When they finally see a Grian who isnt starving, who has actual energy, who isn't conserving as much as he can because of the food scarcity, that's gonna hit like a hammer. It's going to REALLY highlight just how bad he was doing in comparison to now, and that's going to retroactively scare a lot of people i think

[totally-correct-shenanigans]

Ash: I can hold him at gunpoint, we have guns in this.

Claptrap: Don't shoot the toad!

Ash: I'm not gonna shoot him, I-i'm just gonna talk to him.

Brock: Talk to him italian style.

Ash: (In a faux italian accent) Ey Toad, give me the pointy...yellow thing.

[thisshitisridiculous]

maybe one day 911 will have all 7 mains sitting around a table playing poker but until that day comes i'll never know peace