#Point is I love him & sobbed & jfc hi there was so much more similarities between Turkish and Armenian culture than I thought

[belligerentjingling]

Was starting to draft up a quick post for his sister, and trying to grab the spelling of their last name in abjad but uh

Legit didn’t ask for irony this painful @ 1 in the morning. Basically, there’s a massive falling out between all of them, but

…

Unintentional I swear

[astralsweetness]

Gravity (Jinho/Reader/Hyunggu)(m)

➣ I have never once thought about this duo outside of duets before this damn song - which I had to translate by hand because I couldn’t find any English lyrics for it. >_> thank you @re-sugance and @forevertrashforbae for letting me show off my translation afterwards like a proud kid lmao

➣ Reader is domme. I accept nothing less. | Warnings include: mentions of drinking, multiple descriptions of various sexual encounters, humiliation, handjob, blowjob, cockwarming, choking (slight), noona kink (kind of, it’s more of a title in general and less sexual), pain kink, mentions of spanking, multiple orgasms, edging, overstimulation, pegging, referenced size kink, exhibitionism (slight), biting, jfc it’s a lot but it’s all consensual | This is basically just a collection of different little scenes in the life of a Jinho/Reader/Hyunggu relationship 👀 If there’s typos I’ll just throw myself off a cliff because I can’t be bothered to proof-read, yikes

➣ “You’re making me nervous, kiss me slowly. You teach me love.”

You notice two minutes into the night that they are orbiting around you like planets, never straying too far nor too close. The bartender gives you a sympathetic smile but says nothing – no doubt he thinks you’re being hounded by two boys trying to win your heart.

The assumption wasn’t too far off, to be honest, but they’d already acquired your affections long ago.

The weight of the wine on your tongue was only mildly unpleasant – it was too sweet for your liking, but you felt their gazes on you every time you tilted your head back to swallow it, so you kept drinking. You noticed that while both of them were matching you drink for drink only Hyunggu was becoming more competitive – Jinho seemed more than willing to take a passive, backseat role to any flirtation. You didn’t necessarily blame him, either. Hyunggu got fiercely competitive when he got a few drinks in him (and it wasn’t like you were going to give one of them more attention than the other anyway).

“Noona.” Age had long ago lost its meaning to the three of you – noona was a title of honor, of power, one only occasionally used. Hyunggu slid into the seat next to you, finally taking the plunge to enter your orbit. He bites his lip in a way he knows makes him look sexy, looks at you through his lashes in an attempt to be seductive and demure. His body language aside from that is too open though, too cocky and commanding, so you don’t reward him with your full attention, keeping your gaze ahead.

“Yes, Hyunggu?”

You can see his pout from your peripheral and you hide your little smile behind another sip of red liquid. He was absolutely adorable sometimes, and oh so easy to play.

“You’re being mean.” He’s instantly sulking, and you just laugh softly at him, toying with the rim of your wine glass. “And you’re laughing at me -”

“Lots of people laugh at you.” Jinho has suddenly decided to appear – he looks somehow more at ease with a drink in his hand than he should, and suddenly Hyunggu is focused on him instead, like he hadn’t noticed what Jinho had looked like all night because he’d been so focused on you.

It’s endearing, you think, to watch the way his eyes gloss over as he takes in his hyung’s visage – you wonder if that’s how you look when you stare at either of them.

Hyunggu, always more proactive than either of you, takes the initiative and leans forward – you’re not sure if he actually says anything to Jinho or just breathes against his ear, but the elder stiffens and his gaze drifts, suddenly unsteady. His fingers stay curled around the stem of his glass until you gently pry them away, and then he stuffs them into his pocket where you can’t see if they’re clenched tight or trembling.

“He’s so easy to get riled up.” Hyunggu says this to you like it’s a secret he’s sharing, and you grin and nod at him, happy to pretend like you’re both conspiring together. Jinho just swallows hard and watches you both, the tables turned on him so suddenly that he’s not sure what to do except stand beside the two of you who were still sitting at the bar.

“We should take him home.” Your words could mean so many things, but to Hyunggu it’s a promise of fun and to Jinho a promise to be wrecked. You get a nod from Hyunggu in response, who leans in close to Jinho again, close enough to kiss – Jinho’s eyes flutter but Hyunggu just pulls away, drawing the elder towards him as he heads towards the exit like a moth to a flame.

The bartender seems thoroughly confused with the way this has turned out, but you just smile and place down the payment for the drinks, in an extremely good mood. It wasn’t like the two rarely got along, but it was always fun when Jinho was the one thrown off balance instead of Hyunggu.

Still, in the end, you were the one who always had the last say. It’s that knowledge that fills you with a power that makes you feel weightless as you move through the room, smile turning dangerous when you see your two boys waiting for you obediently at the door.

.｡..｡.

It’s ten at night in some hotel room, and you’re busy edging Hyunggu while Jinho lounges serenely to the side. The energy in the space around you is a strange mixture of sleepy contentment and electric tension. You absolutely love the dichotomy between the two halves of the room, love and lust managing to coexist at the same time, similar but oh-so-separate from one another.

“You really get off on this, don’t you?” Your taunting cuts straight to Hyunggu’s core and his hips jerk under you, cock red and weeping viscous pre-cum into your hand. “Being so debauched and whorish with your hyung right over there, listening to it all. It just gets to you, doesn’t it, having one of your bandmates watch you get put in your place.”

“Dirty~” Jinho hums from his own hotel bed, impossibly cheerful as he flips between channels on the TV. He’s not really actively watching the two of you, though his gaze does occasionally flick over to look. Hyunggu just lets out a thoroughly pitiful sounding sob in response, twisting to try to bury his face in the pillow his head rested on – your hand on his neck stops him from twisting too far and he gasps, face red from a heady mixture of humiliation and arousal.

“Ple-ase –” Hyunggu is begging for you to stop, for you to touch him, for you to keep talking – he’s really not even sure what for at this point but he babbles anyway, tears collecting in his lashes, unshed.

“What does it feel like, knowing every time he sees you on stage, or has to sing a duet with you, he’ll just remember you moaning and begging to cum like some sort of slut?”

“Every time I see him on stage I’ll only be able to think about this.” Jinho confirms, voice chipper and upbeat, always ready to help you out – Hyunggu’s fingernails dig into your arm as he explodes, throwing his head back, painting his upper chest white. His hips stutter beneath your hands long after the initial orgasm and you lovingly swipe your finger back and forth over the head of his cock until he’s shaking and locking his jaw, cumming a second time from your teasing ministrations. The second time is weaker than the first, but he still bucks at the sensation, moans more like pleading sobs now as the orgasmic fire burns him from the inside.

Covered in sweat and cum, dark hair plastered to his forehead with tear-tracks on his face and spit-slicked lips – Hyunggu is wrecked and he stares at you unfocusedly, gaze drifting around the hotel room unsteadily as he comes back to himself. His grip on your arm has loosened but he hasn’t released you entirely, so you uncurl his fingers from your forearm and kiss his knuckles lovingly.

“You came a lot.” Jinho appears at the side of the bed, inquisitive and unbothered by the wreck that was his dongsaeng. “Woooow.” He drags the word out, sliding one digit through the mess of cum and sweat that had collected in the other’s collarbones. Hyunggu, ever so sensitive, shivers from the mere contact alone, his eyes fluttering open. As exhausted as he is, he looks at his hyung hungrily – you’re amused, and go about gathering his attention again. You know his body better than he does and he’s at his physical limit right now.

“He did well, right Jinho?” Your praise is followed by a kiss pressed to the younger’s hairline, and a responding sound of acknowledgement from the elder who cards fingers softly through Hyunggu’s hair. He’s a bit disappointed that Jinho didn’t take his bait but he settles down with a sigh pushed out through his nose, tilting his head back invitingly as you run a damp washcloth across the skin there.

.｡..｡.

“Open.” You command Jinho and he looks up from his phone in confusion, dutifully opening his mouth anyway. His face lights up into a brilliant smile when you place a square of chocolate onto his pink tongue. Sweat sticks his clothes to his body and his hair to his forehead, and you think he is stunning.

“You’re ruining my diet.” He reminds you, focus back on his phone but smile still on his lips. You can tell he doesn’t mind your little interference overly much.

To be honest, maybe you were trying to ruin his diet – recently you’d noticed that whenever Hyunggu stretched you were able to count the individual ribs beneath the skin of his sternum, and it kicked your protective instincts into overdrive. You didn’t want either of your boys suffering like that, and while Jinho wasn’t nearly as thin that didn’t mean he was at a healthy weight. (You didn’t want any of their brothers in the same boat either. When you’d walked back-stage you’d given each of them some sort of candy or treat – even Hongseok, who you were sure had accepted just to make you happy. You were the favorite noona of the day because of that.)

Hyunggu had managed to escape you though, already off to get his makeup removed after the concert, so now you were sitting cross-legged beside Jinho, watching him watch his phone. He’d flick his gaze over to you every now and then, small smile widening when he saw you were still focused on him.

“You did well.” You praise, and he smiles with teeth and dips his head at you as he says his thanks. You always praised him after every performance and he always reacted just as genuinely as the first time. It makes your heart hurt with how much you love him.

When Hui sidles up beside you both you think he’s after more of your chocolate – you’re reaching for it when he nudges your shoulder, posture relaxed and open despite the knowing smirk adorning his face.

“We’ll be leaving soon, maybe twenty-five minutes or so.” It’s such a casual statement but his eyes glitter with amusement – he was probably the best wingman anyone could ask for, and you make a mental promise to think of a way to pay him back later. In the meantime you settle for thanking and giving him the remaining candy - he just laughs and says that he’ll probably get accosted now by everyone else instead of you. (Which works well towards your sudden plan, you both know.)

It takes another five minutes after that before you gently tug Jinho towards one of the many utility closets in the winding underbelly of the building, dodging past stylists and backstage workers who couldn’t care less where the two of you were headed so long as it didn’t interfere with their own job.

He whines at you that it’s a bad idea but almost outpaces you when you slow down, sulking as you pause to let a group slip by you, sweatier than Jinho, fresh off the stage. His gaze follows them for a split second, as if suddenly realizing where he was, before he goes right back to sulking.

In the closet he shifts from sulky indignance to compliant submissiveness, tilts his head to the side invitingly for your lips to press upon his pulse point. It’s always hard to refuse him when he’s like this, but you do anyway, pushing at his shoulders gently to back him up as far as he can go in the small space.

“You have makeup all over you, baby. I’m not putting my mouth anywhere above your neck.” Your words are, of course, met with a whine, but you place a finger against his lips to quiet him. When you pull it away it’s tinged slightly pink from the lip tint, silently proving your point. “Everyone would know if you went back out there with everything suddenly smudged.”

“Then what –“ He’s just so absolutely sulky that you can’t help but reach for his arm, pressing kisses to his forearm, up to his bicep. He goes silent instantly, swallowing hard, eyes wide. Simply kissing like this shouldn’t have been so.. erotic.

You can feel him stiffening against your thigh with every graze of your teeth over thin skin, and when he begins trying to grind against your leg you hike it up higher, watching with a piercing gaze as he tries not to make eye-contact with you. The way his eyes dart as he gets himself off gives you a warm feeling that coils contentedly in your chest, one that only grows whenever he locks eyes with you and instantly looks away, cheeks darkening.

His breath stutters and almost full-on stops when you reach for his slim-fitted pants – there’s not much room but you fit your hand inside anyway, not bothering to pull them down. Your thumb presses into his slit, leaking pre-cum, and he mewls pitifully at the feeling.

“Ahnn-n-no..” He tries to object but it’s a weak whisper, and his fingers curling around your wrist draw you closer instead of pushing you away. You step in front of him, slot one of your hips against his to pin him against the back wall, even as your hand continues its steady motion.

“No? Jinho, sweetie, do you want me to stop?” The words are spoken into the heated air between the two of you, and while you’d much rather say them into the soft skin of his neck you want him to be able to properly verbalize his response.

It’s a moot point anyhow, because he just squints his eyes shut and shakes his head quickly, almost frantically. His fingers tighten around your hand, as if afraid you’d decide this was a bad idea and leave him high and dry.

He didn’t need to worry about that – you nudge aside the collar of his ridiculously sequined stage jacket, nip at his inner shoulder. He tastes of sweat and bruises easily, arches into any of the sensations you deign to give him. The heat around your hand, shoved down the front of his pants, is humid and wet and you let him thrust into the loose ring your fingers have become, watching with predatory eyes as he ruts against your hand like some sort of horny teen, comes undone and bites hard into his wrist to stay quiet. (You sink your own teeth into the opposite side of his wrist and his moan manages to get out anyway, all of his weight against the wall as he fights to keep from collapsing.)

It takes little to no time at all to make yourself presentable again, but Jinho is a different story – no matter how outwardly casual he looks his gaze is still glassy, and dual teeth-marks dot one of his hands.

When you exit the closet Jinho tries to melt into your side, inconspicuous, when the maknae trio comes up to you to thank you again for the chocolate (even if Hyunggu hadn’t taken any in the beginning). You know he wants to escape to the bathroom right away to clean up and become orderly again, but he’s caged in by three of his dongsaengs, so he instead tries to take solace in the warmth of standing so close to you. In a distant corner of the room you can see Shinwon has, as predicted, stolen most of the candy you’d given to Hui.

It’s mostly Wooseok who’s thanking you, all big eyes and admiration, while Yuto stands slightly to the side murmuring his own thanks shyly whenever you turn your full focus to him. You find them both adorable, this youthful infatuation they have for you absolutely endearing.

Hyunggu just finds it funny, arms crossed as he watches them, Wooseok unable to stop talking and Yuto unable to talk at all. His gaze is stolen by Jinho though, and it takes him all of five seconds to send you an accusatory glance after taking in the way Jinho is still slightly red-faced, shifting from foot to foot uncomfortably, gaze flicking between different occupants of the room at random intervals.

You just send him a serene smile. If he hadn’t avoided you earlier then that could have been him.

.｡..｡.

It was a running joke that Hyunggu was overly sensitive, cried too easily – you were used to seeing him tear up suddenly at some sweet thing either of you did or said to him. Jinho teased him relentlessly for it, poking at his cheek playfully while calling him ‘the cutest baby’. (The irony was not lost on any of you that Jinho was arguably smaller and more baby-like than anyone in the room, but it always made Hyunggu smile again anyway, which was the aim of the comment.)

During sex he cried just as easily, quick to tears if edged or over-stimulated, full on sobbing whenever he got the paddle. It was one of your favorite things about him, how responsive he was to everything, how unashamed of these things he was.

So, in short, Hyunggu crying was never really an issue and usually not a cause for concern.

It’s when you get home and he sees you, smiling and shining with love seconds before he crumples, voice evaporating midway through “welcome back” that you know there’s something seriously wrong.

He’s not laughing it off, his fingers clenched into fists as he ducks his head and clenches his eyes shut, shoulders hunched and bending inwards as if he was trying to physically protect his vulnerable front from the world. He tries to speak again and ends up just cramming one of his fists against his teeth, trembling.

“Oh, honey..” You have to draw him into your arms since he doesn’t move towards you at all, and he resists at first, keeping his arms stiff at his sides while simply resting his forehead on your shoulder. “What happened?”

It’s your question that gets to him, and he melts into your warmth, hands flying up to clutch at your sweater. You cup the back of his head and let him cry into your neck, his sobs nearly silent but still just loud enough you can hear them.

It’s breaking your fucking heart.

He never does answer your questions, just eventually stops crying and keeps his arms wrapped around you while you go about your tasks until you finally give up and sit down on the couch with him, letting him curl against your side. He falls asleep almost instantly, tear tracks on his face at heartbreaking odds with how relaxed he now looks.

When you ask Jinho about it later you get vague explanations – the elder is clearly keeping anything regarding the issue close to his chest, and eventually you stop pressing. As annoying as it was to not know, you understood why he was so intent on keeping it private, especially if it involved their career. (And while his not-an-answer-answer didn’t totally sate your worry, you knew Jinho was just as capable of taking care of Hyunggu as you were, and you trusted him to make these kinds of decisions just as he trusted you to do the same.)

Later that night Hyunggu automatically gets the middle position in bed – he blushes intensely at the combined concentration on him, usually so cocky about being the center of attention but shy this time in the wake of his breakdown, hides his flush in Jinho’s shoulder as you kiss down his neck with tongue and teeth.

Everything is kept soft that night, sweet and sensual, and when Jinho slots his mouth against Hyunggu’s you watch them in a sort of lovestruck daze. Despite all the hardships, you really never thought it possible to feel this happy and content in life.

.｡..｡.

You press a hand on Jinho’s lower back and force him into more of an arch, fucking into him aggressively – he splays out his hand in front of him and sobs, cock dangling heavy and abused between he and the wall. His hands are in fists after having been ordered not to touch himself, and it’s hard, it’s so fucking hard when all he wants is to reach down and wrap his fingers around himself, a single touch is really all he needs to finally get the release he’s seeking –

It’s almost painful, how often you can hit his prostate dead-on with your infamous strap-on, and he bites his tongue hard enough he tastes blood. A few rooms away are the rest of his members, Hyunggu included, and while it wasn’t like the two of you hadn’t been caught before (you were still apologizing to Changgu for what he’d walked in on) it still sent a sharp thrill down to his stomach to try not to get caught again.

Not that it was easy – he wasn’t exactly known for his deep or quiet voice. You were pretty sure he’d been heard more often than you’d been caught.

“I’m –“ His voice is thin, and he has to swallow once before beginning again, body stiffening after a particularly hard thrust. “I’m so – so close..” The moans he’d been fighting so hard to keep silent slip from his mouth as you sink your teeth into his shoulder, stalling your hips in favor of taking his cock in hand. In seconds his release is covering your hand, dripping down your knuckles – he reaches to help keep the mess minimal but ends up just gripping your wrist tightly, head lolling back and eyes closing.

Jinho slides down the wall to his knees once you pull out, full-body trembling as he rests his forehead against the smooth, cool surface. He’s breathing hard, shoulders heaving as he sucks in deep breaths. Your rake your fingers through his hair and he lets out one last soft moan at the feeling, how impossibly tender you are with him now that you’d completely wrecked him.

“You did well.” Your praise is like a physical balm to his exhausted body, the kiss you drop onto his lips as you hand over tissues a type of physical warmth that envelopes him and makes it impossible for a content smile not to linger on his face.

You can’t help but laugh softly after checking your phone, which garners Jinho’s attention as he pulls his clothes back on. When you show him your screen he just smiles even more and murmurs something softly about sensitive maknaes always needing attention, a scoff to his voice that doesn’t quite match his fond expression.

Hui’s text to you is stark black against the white background: Whenever you’re done corrupting our hyung you need to come out here and console Hyunggu, he’s been sulking ever since he realized what you two were doing :(

.｡..｡.

Hyunggu makes a soft sound and you glance up at him, knee beside your face bouncing anxiously – he’s looking back at you dazedly, dark hair ruffled from where he’d pushed his hand through it moments before. His teeth dig into his bottom lip and his fingers curl against the edge of the studio’s desk. His phone sits forgotten somewhere on its surface, his promise to start a V Live completely abandoned. An old recording of a live performance from Ella Fitzgerald plays quietly in the background, a track he’d intended to use as background music for the stream.

You smile and rest your head against his thigh, thumbing the head of his cock lovingly, reveling in the way his hips roll minutely into it. His breathing has turned harsh and all you’ve done so far was wrap your hand around him.

“You knew what I was going to do when I got down here.” While you’re speaking his hand reaches towards you, but a sharp glance has it hesitantly freezing before gripping the arm of the chair instead. “Didn’t you?”

He swallows hard once and nods, eyes so infinitely dark that the light reflects off of them in little astral bursts. “Y-yeah..” His voice is rough, and you drink in the sound of it. “I just – I mean, it was kind of.. hard to imagine – to come to terms with you really doing it..”

“Relax.” Your murmur is soft, and he glances at the studio door once – the unlocked studio door. He makes no move to change that. “I just want you to feel good before you meet Universe, yeah? You look so tense right now that you’d just worry them.”

You know some of the tension is because you’re right there, mouth inches from his cock and fingers looped loosely around it, but you can’t accredit yourself for all of it. He’s been undeniably strained ever since the fansign was canceled, a tightness to his shoulders every time they had to go out and perform for the cameras without an audience to dance for –  not to mention the fact that ever since promotions had started he’d kept himself busy enough that the two of you hadn’t had any solo time together for about two weeks.

“So, I’m going to make you orgasm.” You say it straight-forwardly, eyebrows raised, waiting for an objection – you never get one. Hyunggu instead just shifts lower into his seat, trying to mentally prepare himself.

He knows, the moment he feels the first blindingly hot stripe licked up his cock, that he could never have been prepared.

Two weeks of abstinence has left him sensitive and more desperate than he realized, and he’s almost embarrassed by how quickly turned on he gets, the feeling of his pre-cum mixing with your saliva making his head spin.

One of his hands is half-covering his face while the other clutches at his side in a desperate attempt to hold on to something, anything – when you offer your hand it takes mere seconds before his fingers are interlacing with your own, a grounding, loving connection even as you hollow your cheeks and take him deeper.

He swears he’s fucking dying.

There’s a fire in his stomach, pure white-hot flames licking at his muscles, his skin, causing sweat to collect under his shirt, and the tightness in his shoulders and neck can’t compete with the feeling building up in his hips, bone-deep and aching. He can’t do much else than breathe harshly out through his nose, eyes falling shut. It was too much effort, energy, and focus to keep them open, and he feels so completely ripped apart by your tongue and lips and fucking mouth that any of the usual sounds he makes have been stolen from him, replaced by wheezing gasps of pleasured pain.

He doesn’t manage to warn you he’s close verbally, but you recognize it anyway – his entire body locks, fingers crushing your own, and you have just enough time to pull your mouth off of him so he can cum in your hand.

Between each gasping heave of his chest he murmurs a thank you, until his words run together and he bites his tongue to stop from sounding like even more of a fool in front of you. He can feel your lips pressing tender kisses against his cock even as you clean your hand off, and he can’t stop the way he shakes at the feeling.

Tears are caught in his lashes by the time you’re finished, and you cup his feverish face in your hands and draw him towards you, pressing more kisses against his eyelids. He is an absolute wreck, emotionally and physically, so when you try to remove your hands and he grasps for them and keeps them pressed to his collar you let him do as he pleases.

“You feel better, sweetheart?” Your words aren’t answered, but you keep talking all the same. “You’re so beautiful, you know that? Perfect and wonderful and talented, and so so good. You know I love you, right? Because I do, so much, Hyunggu, I love you so much.”

He sniffs, finally pulling one of his hands away to scrub furiously at his face, a watery sounding laugh escaping him – and you know he’s okay now, safe to be left on his own. Still, you linger in the room until he’s fully composed, checking his appearance in his phone’s camera. When he catches you watching him through it he smiles, a genuine smile that drags at your heart and makes your knees feel weak.

“I love you too.” He’s saying it late, but that doesn’t mean he means it any less. When you press your lips to his all you can think of is how you’d give anything to make sure he kept smiling like that.

.｡..｡.

Love, you think, can be shown in many different ways. One of the biggest is seeing Jinho under the covers, nestled down on his phone, waiting for you to come and join him before he falls asleep.

“You should have gone to sleep!” Your chiding is gentle and so affectionate that it loses any edge you’d wanted it to have had. “You’ve been complaining about being tired so often – why wouldn’t you take advantage of any free time you had?”

“It’ll be better with you.” His answer is so direct and short that you can’t help but laugh – his face crinkles into a smile at the sound, and he pats the empty space next to him invitingly.

By the time you’re ready to crawl into bed with him he’s become restless, and as soon as you’re semi-laying down you find yourself being clung to. His head rests easily on your chest, fingers curling into your night-shirt, lashes dark against his skin as he heaves a sigh that relaxes his entire body.

“Sweet dreams.” You whisper your words into his hair, one hand at the base of his skull and the other on his back. He doesn’t respond with much more than an acknowledging hum, already slipping into a deep sleep.

You’re not tired at all, but you settle down anyway, content with stroking fingers through his hair. The resulting silence is almost suffocating, but you don’t find it uncomfortable – there’s a warmth in your bones that isn’t from the blankets or the body on top of you, a harsh lurch in your chest that flows through your veins. It’s almost staggering how much you care for the man asleep on you.

Yes, love didn’t have to be verbally exclaimed. Actions could show your devotion to someone just as well.

.｡..｡.

“Stay still now, honey.” You smooth a hand over Hyunggu’s sweat slicked chest, his breathing an endless staccato that matched in time with the fluttering of your innermost walls around his thoroughly abused cock. “Just relax.”

It was so easy for you to say that, laying yourself down on top of him and pillowing your head on your forearms across his collarbones, a comforting weight that would have been soothing if not for the blinding heat surrounding him. Every time he started to relax one of you would shift and painful electric shocks would shoot through his nerves all over again.

“I’m not good at this sort of thing..!” Hyunggu’s mewls are lost to your lips, and he switches from whining with words to letting out pathetic sounds into your mouth, pliant despite his protests. He can already feel himself hardening again despite knowing it wasn’t what you wanted.

“Baby, I’m not in the mood to go again.” Pet-names flow from your mouth like a stream as you apologize, pressing kisses against his cheeks and temple. “I thought you’d be able to handle this sort of thing by now.” More kisses are dotted in between his shaky “me too”, and his sucked in breath becomes a thin and fragile moan as you slowly rise up and off him. “Maybe you’ll get lucky, sweetheart, and Jinho will –“

“I’m back!” The very first thing he’s greeted with upon arrival is the sight of Hyunggu staring at him hungrily as his essence drips from your slit in viscous rivulets. His cheerful, upbeat demeanor is frozen on his face as a congenial smile, even as his mind flashes to dark places and he swears he can suddenly taste the combined arousals from the both of you on his tongue.

“Broke him.” Hyunggu’s soft laugh is breathless and aroused, even as he pushes himself up and tries to cover his bottom half with the sheets, as if being shielded would make everyone forget about how red and wet his cock was at the moment.

Jinho’s gaze locks with yours briefly, assessing the room – at your small nod his fingers are unzipping his jacket, losing it to the floor somewhere as he tugs his shirt over his head. Fading bruises swarm his naturally tanned skin, still a bit purple but not nearly dark enough for your liking. You’d gotten so much shit for that, from his stylists and bandmates and everyone else except for him who had worn them with a type of embarrassed pride, ducking his head and not looking at all upset that he’d had to cover up for their performance.

The bed dips as he crawls onto it, Hyunggu’s swallow audible in your ear as Jinho reaches for your bare calf tentatively, settles on his stomach and rests his head on your crossed ankles. He’s always been the more obedient one, knowing that he’d end up more satisfied if he played by your rules.

“You should learn from Jinho.” Hyunggu scoffs at your words, wrapping his arms around your waist. You can feel the tension in his forearms threaded across your midriff, the way his hands grip at his own skin to keep himself from taking the pleasure he wants so badly. Jinho, meanwhile, has crawled up your body with the behest of a single one of your fingers hooked beneath his chin, gaze glassy.

“I’ll clean up after him..?” Jinho’s statement shifts to a question last second, dark eyes switching to his dongsaeng briefly – there’s a strange feeling at parodying the hierarchical ladder they usually exist in, the idea that as the eldest hyung Jinho had to clean up after the messes Hyunggu made. It feels.. wrong, in a very satisfying way, to apply that logic to a sexual encounter.

At a nod from you his tongue darts out, tentative and shy at first – you let out a sigh of encouragement and contentment, fingers threading through his dark hair. He tilts his head into your hand and closes his eyes, shuffling forward the last few centimeters so he can attach his lips to you. Hyunggu’s chin has come to rest on your shoulder as he watches Jinho work with eyes that are equally dark as they are sparkling, intense hunger for the moment overridden by a sort of awed reverence as he observes how his elder pays tribute to you.

Even once you are clean he doesn’t let up, continues to lap and suck as he was instructed until you are content and release your grip on his hair, fingers trailing down his cheek to his chin. Lips slick with saliva curl into a smile at your gentle touch, eyelids fluttering open.

“Take notes, Hyunggu.” Your words are lost to the younger, who was still staring at Jinho intently with eyes blown wide – whether or not he was going to be able to recollect any of this was up for debate, more likely to remember everything as a blur of sexual need.

“I think he does an okay job already.” Jinho’s voice is slightly rough as he speaks, grinning widely when you shoot him a look before becoming conveniently focused on taking his pants off. Your gaze burns into his back as he does so, filling him with a giddy sort of excitement. He knew you weren’t actually upset, maybe a bit miffed at most.

“Just come here, you mouthy little thing.” You reach out to him and he goes to you instantly, posture suddenly less open, doing his best to fade into your commanding aura. His body language was always so easy for you to read, even without the very obvious sign of his arousal out on full display now.

Jinho nestles onto his back, squirming a bit until he’s comfortable – he doesn’t stop squirming until you wrap an arm around him and guide his head to rest on your inner shoulder, a convenient place for him if you want to be able to drop a kiss to his temple. (Or just an easy way to make him feel small and protected all over, since he could turn his head and have it buried in your chest with your arms around him.)

Hyunggu’s plastered against your back, practically vibrating at this point, his cock an annoying bother poking into your side. Jinho notices his intense gaze and flushes, amused and embarrassed in equal measure.

“I can’t tell if he wants to fuck me or eat me.” Jinho’s comment has Hyunggu flushing this time, ducking his head – it wipes away the ravenous expression that has lingered ever since Jinho got home, replacing it with a type of happy embarrassment. Being teased by one of you always made him feel warm inside, accepted, instead of ridiculed.

“Fuck you.” He promises, and then dips his head to nip at your shoulder impatiently. You can feel his tongue dart out against your skin before he’s trailing open-mouthed kisses towards your neck, too riled up for his own good.

“Then you’re focused on the wrong person..” Jinho’s grumbling is met by your laughter, a gentle tug at the crook of Hyunggu’s arm to direct him away from you and towards his real goal. A bruise blooms along the gentle sweeping of Jinho’s hipbone, left behind by Hyunggu as he gets into position. His fingers frame it nicely, surrounding but never pressing down on it.

“Fuck..” It’s more a whimper than anything else, Jinho’s nails digging into your arm as you press kisses to his furrowed brow. Hyunggu trails his hands up his hyung’s side, willing him to relax, to take all of him. A low groan is tugged from Hyunggu’s chest at the feeling.

Jinho squirms once Hyunggu bottoms out, clearly uncomfortable – it’s not uncommon for him to take a while to acclimate to the stretch, and the two of you have become pros at soothing him until he does. It takes a little while, but between your soft caresses against his face and Hyunggu’s open-mouthed kisses against his neck his shifting becomes more needy and less pained.

To be completely honest, you were incredibly impressed with Hyunggu’s self-control – for someone who had been so horny he’d barely remembered the need to prep he was being immensely tender to Jinho, holding as still as possible until he was given the okay to move. Even over-come by lust he was always so thoughtful.

“Perfect boy.” The compliment comes out instantly, not directed at either of them but instead just said to the room – Jinho, feeling exposed, tucks his face into your shoulder while Hyunggu lowers his head and smiles, edges softening just a bit at such blatant love.

You apologize for killing the mood by wrapping your fingers around Jinho’s cock, paying extra attention to the pre-cum trailing down its side – it causes a chain reaction of movements that culminate in hands grabbing hard at hips and mouths falling open helplessly, a beautiful display of the best kind of agony.

Lithe fingers tug at yours insistently until you allow them to take your place, dark eyes watching you as you watch Hyunggu take over. He’s more aggressive with his touch than you are, falling into the same pace his hips are making, and Jinho’s moan gets lodged in his throat as a choke, muscles tightening.

“Ohh –“ Hyunggu’s back bows and his forehead knocks against Jinho’s collarbone, hips pressing as close to the elder as he can – you can tell by the way he’s just folded that the orgasm took him completely by surprise. Jinho, even with his eyes squeezed shut and his mind somewhere far away, pushes his hand through Hyunggu’s hair comfortingly. It makes your heart ache with adoration.

“Hyunggu, baby, Jinho hasn’t cum yet.” Your gentle scolding has the younger trying to move again, rising up on trembling forearms, weak thrusts that are uncoordinated and shaky yet make Jinho cry out all the same. “I know you must be so sensitive by now, you’re doing so good.”

Jinho’s bottom lip has been torn to shreds and his hips roll against Hyunggu’s, doing the job for him as he chases after his orgasm with a single-minded mentality – his eyes are squeezed shut but he still turns his face into your shoulder, pants open-mouthed against your bare skin as you hug him closer to you.

“Can’t –“ Hyunggu is shaking, his head bowed and back arched, shuddering – everything is too much for him now, pleasure white-hot and bursting across his vision in a way that makes him more than dizzy, makes him feel close to fainting. He knows he’s supposed to be doing something, moving his hand for some reason, but he really can’t remember why anymore – he feels slender fingers wrap around his own, his hyung’s fingers, and they’re moving again and Jinho is moaning louder now and he’s not really sure what’s happening with the way his head is spinning but he’s glad Jinho sounds like he feels good. “I can’t –“

“You can, baby, I know you can.” You hold out your free hand, the one not on Jinho’s shoulder, and Hyunggu cranes his head towards it and presses a kiss to your palm, lets your thumb slip past his plush lips. “Just a little bit longer.” His silent moan can be felt vibrating through your fingertip, hips twitching. Jinho is still making enough noise on his own for three people, the hand that’s not occupied curled so tightly into the bedsheets you’re almost positive they’ll be cramping later.

He stops moving entirely when Jinho seizes and then thrashes violently, the same fingers that had been guiding his hand now wrapped so tightly around them that they begin to lose feeling. (He manages to crack his eyes open to send you a grateful glance when you reach out and loosen them, drawing Jinho’s hand into your own instead.)

Jinho’s pants are high and exhausted, covered in his own cum and sweat from exertion, and you can tell from the way Hyunggu’s biting his lip that he isn’t going to be able to crash over the edge himself this time – you quietly tap his shoulder and all the tension drains out of his body immediately as he takes your cue to finally pull out. He and Jinho make a sound that is so surprisingly similar you wonder which one of them picked it up from the other.

“So tired..” Hyunggu collapses across Jinho’s legs and neither of them move after that – you stifle a laugh and disentangle yourself from them both, going in search of washcloths and comfortable outfits they could easily pull on.

It’s a bit of an ordeal to work around two limp and exhausted bodies, but as someone who was used to dealing with two idols who were constantly over-worked (or over-sexed) you had it down to an art form, and both of your boys are fast asleep in a tangle of limbs under the covers and in soft clothes in short order.

It gives you time to settle down next to them and just breathe, safe in this little pocket of time and space the three of you had managed to carve out and solidify for yourselves. When you glance over at them they’re dead to the world, and to be completely honest you’re not totally sure where one of them ends and the other begins. You like it that way, though.

In fact, you liked everything about this, the way they made your life feel a little brighter or warmer, how it was so easy to connect with one or both of them despite how rarely your projected paths would usually cross unless one of the three of you didn’t actively change courses to make it happen.

The gravity that love had was seemingly inescapable, and you were immensely grateful for it.

[writersriot]

The Outsiders Queer Subtext ft. Jally - Part 15

Sunday, March 12, 2017

All right, so now we get the background info on Johnny getting jumped by Socs. It breaks my heart, but let’s jump in.

We were used to seeing Johnny banged up -- his father clobbered him around a lot, and although it made us madder than heck, we couldn’t do anything about it. But those beatings had been nothing like this. Johnny’s face was cut up and bruised and swollen, and there was a wide gash from his temple to his cheekbone. He would carry that scar all his life. His white T-shirt was splattered with blood. I just stood there, trembling with sudden cold. I thought he might be dead; surely nobody could be beaten like that and live. Steve closed his eyes for a second and muffled a groan as he dropped on his knees beside Soda.

Somehow the gang sensed what had happened. Two-Bit was suddenly there beside me, and for once his comical grin was gone and his dancing gray eyes were stormy. Darry had seen us from our porch and ran toward us, suddenly skidding to a halt. Dally was there, too, swearing under his breath, and turning away with a sick expression on his face. I wondered about it vaguely. Dally had seen people killed on the streets of New York’s West Side. Why did he look sick now? (Pg 32-33)

Pony jfc. I know the boy is fourteen, but come on. He is like seriously dense. (Also, I’ve always wondered how the gang could get to Johnny’s side so fast via spidey senses, yet no one managed to hear or notice when he was actually being jumped??)

Anyway, the whole gang is visibly distraught by Johnny being attacked. Even Steve and Two-Bit, who are not usually shown to be too sensitive, are extremely upset. Again, these boys love each other so much that it warms my heart.

But who wouldn’t be upset to find one of their friends beat to hell? Why exactly is it so surprising to Pony that Dally is sickened by this? Everyone is affected, why is Dally expected to be any different? Why does Pony expect Dally to be emotionless just because he’s hard and tough? I have never really understood this aspect.

Just because Dally has seen other people killed doesn’t mean he’s ready to see that happen to a good friend of his. No matter how hard he’s supposed to be, Dally still has feelings. And honestly, Johnny seems to bring out Dally’s feelings the most. It makes him sick to see Johnny hurt like this, which I would say is a normal reaction, but because Pony sees it as so out of the ordinary, I as a reader will too.

This can be seen as another example of Pony simply not understanding all of the dynamics of the gangs’ friendships and being a bit naive in thinking of Dally as heartless or something. But it’s so emphasized how strange Pony thinks it is for Dally to care enough about someone to have an emotional reaction that I can’t let it go. Pony doesn’t even put it into so many words, but later in the book, he makes it clear that Dally pretty much only cares about Johnny (like, in a way that sounds unhealthy.) And this is a moment that cements that in my mind.

I think the root of this comes from Johnny reminding Dally of who he could have been and being someone Dally wants to protect. This is part of Dally and Johnny being mirror/counterpoint foils that I mentioned previously. They are opposites yet so similar that it’s easy to make the comparison between them.

Let’s look at Johnny’s reaction to being jumped for more:

Finally, between sobs, Johnny managed to gasp out his story. He had been hunting our football to practice a few kicks when a blue Mustang had pulled up beside the lot. There were four Socs in it. They had caught him and one of them had a lot of rings on his hand -- that’s what had cut Johnny up so badly. It wasn’t just that they had beaten half to death -- he could take that. They had scared him. They had threatened him with everything under the sun. Johnny was high-strung anyway, a nervous wreck from getting belted every time he turned around and from hearing his parents fight all the time. Living in those conditions might have turned someone else rebellious and bitter; it was killing Johnny. He had never been a coward. He was a good man in a rumble. He stuck up for the gang and kept his mouth shut good around cops. But after the night of the beating, Johnny was jumpier than ever. I didn’t think he’d ever get over it. Johnny never walked by himself after that. And Johnny, who was the most law-abiding of us, now carried in his back pocket a six-inch switchblade. He’d use it, too, if he ever got jumped again. They had scared him that much. He would kill the next person who jumped him. Nobody was ever going to beat him like that again. Not over his dead body. (Pg 33-34)

Poor Johnny. He’s not a coward, but he wants to stop hurting. He already gets enough shit at home, I’m not surprised that he goes in this direction after being jumped. He’s been in survival mode his whole life, but now he’s heading into fight-for-your-life territory.

The thing is, Johnny could easily turn into Dally if given enough time and motivation. This is the starting point in that. It comes from self-defense, sure, but if he continued to feel threatened, Johnny would do whatever he has to. Just like Dally.

Think about Dally as a child, who would have been scared shitless before doing whatever it takes to survive. He could have been Johnny in another life, if less horrible shit had happened to him at such a young age. This is why I consider them mirror foils because they are opposites, but they have so much of each other inside them, or the potential to be them, that I think it would be easy for Johnny and Dally to connect in that respect. They would probably never put this into words, but I recognize it, and maybe they would too.

Dally wants to protect Johnny as a version of himself that he lost long ago. And Johnny idolizes Dally because he acts like nothing in the world can get to him. 

Nothing but Johnny himself.

I die a little bit every time I think about that.

So, what do you think about Dally caring enough about Johnny to show an emotional reaction over him being attacked? And what about Johnny and Dally being opposites yet so similar to each other as foils?

Until the next part~

[warwidowed-a]

here are my collective thoughts on my first listen at b.andstand on broadway. a lot of comparisons are gonna be made to papermill just because i’ve been listening to it for like six months straight waiting for this transfer, so it’s the version i’m used to. this post is NOT spoiler free, by the way. alright, let’s do it.

opening/just like it was before:

totally new arrangement from what it was at papermill, but i still really like the song

lyrical similarities right off the bat to ‘right this way’

“i’d like a good nights sleep, is that too much to ask?”

“the cream always rises” hmmmm, i see what y’all did there (see: donny novitski)

“you talk in your sleep” “i should have warned ya”

why is this score so lit

“if i can’t play, then what’s the point of making it back home?” have i mentioned today i love donald novitski because i feel like at this point i need to say that

that last harmonizing note fuck fuck fuck

donny novitski:

pretty much entirely the same as papermill

donny has some serious animosity at frank sinatra

i like hearing this song with the full orchestra though it’s lit

“donny needs something to block all the memories and break his insomnia spell” again, hello, i love donald novitski thanks

corey cott could kill someone with that last note his vibratto is killer

scene before i know a guy:

“we’re not open yet” “your back door is”

THEY GAVE NATE HOPKINS APPLAUSE AFTER HIS SAX SOLO I’M SCREAMING

i still can’t believe they call michael ‘rubber’ through most of this show

i know a guy:

the “drivin’ me nuts’ joke is still hilarious

JIMMY YOU SKINNY SON OF A BITCH

why is nick radel me

“how do you miss a b flat? it’s a b flat trumpet!”

THAT LITTLE JUST LIKE IT WAS BEFORE REPRISE

why did they skim wayne and johnny shy though like we got full scenes with davy, nick, and jimmy why not them too??

ain’t we proud:

still a catchy song but not one of my favs

NICK GOT APPLAUSE AFTER THEIR SOLOS HECK

corey fucking cott teaching himself piano for this show and you wouldn’t have even guessed what a fucking champ

post-ain’t be proud, pre-who i was:

i love johnny simpson more than anything in this life i will choose his happiness over mine every time

“how much slower will you get, will they put you in reverse” FUCK

you can hear johnny mumbling “sunday.... sunday” before he asks what day of the week is sunday i swear to god i would die for him

“the high balls are on me” “i don’t get it” “well see, griaffes are really tall”

“how bad was it?” “friendly fire got him” “were you the friend?” what kind O F FUCKING FORESHADOWING

“aren’t you a little old for ding dong ditch” julia,,,,,, julia,,,,,,,

i don’t like that they have that interlude and have julia invite him over a different day instead of just inviting him in right away. i feel like that could be cut out honestly

“i just want to know what happened” “what will that get you?” “i don’t know, sleeping through the night? closing a chapter? maybe just getting out the door?” juliaaaaaaa i’m a fucking wreck it’s fine

who i was:

AHHH I LOVE HEARING THIS SONG WITH THE FULL ORCHESTRA

the dinner scene:

“you look pretty” “well, turns out there’s better cosmetics than cake flour” Me: Fucking Squints(tm)

MRS ADAMS USED TO PLAY THE PIANO

THE DEVILED EGGS

“the top of the paprika shaker fell off” i’m

oh shit since they took donny’s parents out of the beginning number from papermill, his mom died when he was thirteen

julia crying while they go through the pictures i’m fine

JULIA ENOUGH WITH THE  CON DOM JOKES

“your daughter’s voice is beautiful, it’s really high” my god donny

just like it was before (reprise):

the chorus of “donny no” and “what are you doing?” from julia and wayne when he tells julia to come sing with them i’m shrieking

“wait, i gotta transpose” JOHNNY

first steps first:

it’s a bit different than what it was but gd i’d still die for laura osnes’ voice

“no need to be so shy, take reassurance i know how to guide you through the worst steps, first steps first” uh more foreshadowing re: donny

“why don’t you kick it up” “oh, thank god” DAVY

oooh yeah i like this new arrangement

“you want a drink?” “oh i hardly ever drink” “you wanna trade livers” davy please

“the best i could hope is to teach the kids choir at church” “DON’T. TEACH.” i love nick sm 

JULIA ASKING ABOUT WAYNE’S KIDS I’M SOBBING OH MY G OD

JULIA TROJAN IS THE LIGHT OF THIS ENTIRE WORLD AND I WOULD DIE FOR HER

their names are emily and grady btw 

“as far as i’m concerned i’m one of the lucky ones” “yes you are, you made it home” “no, lucky i don’t remember” again, i would die for johnny simpson too

god damn julia’s voice is so soft and sweet i’m dying. the voice laura uses is even softer than her ella voice i just wanna hug her

heck they kept the “parents warn their kids about people like you” line god bless

“oh a wise cracker! you might be watching too many pictures” uh ya did you not get the “avid cinephile” line, donny?

“i don’t need to be rescued” ur goD DAMN RIGHT JULIA

“i’ll give it a thought but there are a lot of things i want to know about michael” “first steps first” oh fuck i see what y’all did there

breathe:

“stop touching my stuff with your sweaty hands” this is literally a band full of five year olds

??? this song doesn’t really do anything ???

they could easily cut this song tbh

it’s pretty much just like them rehearsing for you deserve it

you deserve it:

DID YOU MEAN MY FUCKING JAM SECOND ONLY TO ‘NOBODY’? YEP

this song didn’t change pretty much at all and it’s still a bop

CAUSE WHEN YOU GOT THE CALL YOU STOOD UP PROUD AND TALL AND YOU DESERVE IT

post-you deserve it/pre-love will come and find me again:

donny and julia bonding over music i’m shook

“michael is buried in some place called manila, i'll never get to manila, i never got to say goodbye. a lot of things just vanish with not explanation and i wanna know. if-if he was in pain, i wanna know how his hands were folded in the casket and if-if his uniform was pressed and his hair was combed right and a million other things that keep me up at night” i’m sobbing 

julia takes no shit and i love her so much

“i survived mustard gas and pepper spray, i guess that makes me a seasoned veteran” davy’s jokes oh my god

JULIA BREAKING UP THE FIGHT BETWEEN DONNY AND NICK

“WALK ME HOME, DONNY, COME ON”

awwww julia’s poem

“don’t stay up all night reading them, get some sleep” “eh, gave up on that a long time ago” :////

THE LITTLE REPRISE OF WHO I WAS

“when i lost him it broke my soul. who knew my voice could be one part of the whole? well... perhaps someone does” fuck

“gershwin’s got nothing on you” MRS ADAMS 

“i’ll stay up all night, i’m good at that” again i’m ://///////

love will come and find me again:

laura osnes could step on me and i’d thank her

nothing has changed with this song but fuck it’s so good

right this way:

“bayer-FUCKING-asprin”

holy fuck this song might just win corey cott a tony nomination

ACT TWO

nobody:

AKA MY FUCKIN JAM AGAIN

literally the same nothing changed it’s still a bop

NICK ASKING WAYNE TO MOVE IN W/ HIM

“I JUST GOT A LIVE IN MAID” JFC

i got a theory:

LAURA ON THE UKE

nothing much changed with this song either tbh

JIMMY’S GAY AND HE LITERALLY WATCHED HIS BF DIE WHEN HIS SHIP EXPLODED FUCK THIS SHOW

i said it probably like twice already but i love johnny simpson

julia still having her moment of trying to convince davy to stop drinking ://///

post-i got a theory:

“was it quick? did he suffer? was he trying to save someone?” “you don’t wanna know”  “for a year and a half it’s all i’ve wanted to know. was he scared? what was the last thing he said? were his eyes open?” AND D ONNY SNAPS AT HER IM “

JUST STOP IT”

“i’m still waiting”

oh myg od

they changed michael’s entire death 

donny had accidentally dropped a grenade while they were in a trench and couldn’t find it. he tried to tell michael to get out and he didn’t make it and fuck he’s crying telling this to julia what the fuck has this show done to me

everything happens:

“IT WAS HIS FAULT” JULIA JULIA JU L I  A

i love mrs adams so much

what would julia have done without her

welcome home:

JULIA AND MICHAEL LITERALLY MET IN HIGH SCHOOL DOING THEATRE FUCK ME UP

“you know the first thing he said to me? don’t sing because you need to get the lead, sing because you just need to sing. you know what he said next? the girl who got the lead stuffs her bra with so much kleneex, one cigarette act and she’ll go up” no wonder julia wrote poetry for this guy he was smooth as FUCK

“stop picking up my clothes, if i wanted them in the drawer, i’d put them in the drawer” nick relax

donny singing welcome home i’m in tears

HE ENCOURAGES HER TO WRITE WELCOME HOME AS A LOVE SONG IF MICHAEL HAD COME HOME FUCK THIS ENTIRE SHOW

“sometimes i just think, maybe the wrong guy came home” again, fuck this entire show

a band in new york city:

THE GUYS AT THE VA PAID FOR THEIR TRIP SO PURE

this song is still a bop too

this is life:

idk i like this song but i think i almost prefer “give me a reason”

this also hasn’t changed at all from when they sang it at broadwaycon

but holy fuck do corey and laura sound incredible together

welcome home (reprise):

jimmy campbell: the real hero

“we came, we saw, we said fuck it” DAVY IS ME

THIS IS LIFE REPRISE FUCK F UCK FUCK

WHAT I FEEL FOR YOU JULIA IS TRUE. NO MATTER HOW TOUGH IT IS, NO MATTER HOW MUCH TIME IT TAKES, I NEED TO BE WITH YOU. AND THAT IS TRUE.

I’M SERIOUSLY HOPING THAT THE CROWD CHEERING IS BECAUSE THEY KISSED BECAUSE FUCK YOU GUYS I’M CRYING THAT WAS SO MUCH BETTER THAN JUST THE “I LOVE YOU JULIA TROJAN” FROM PAPERMILL HE WAS LITERALLY CRYING AND I’M LITERALLY CRYING

the lyrics changed a bit to welcome home and it still breaks my heart

finale:

awwwww sweet betsy oh my god

donny inviting her and her family backstage to meet her father who served i’m sobbing it’s fine

it’s literally just a reprise of nobody oh god

it could have been a little longer but !!!!!!

okay, so overall holy shit. a lot changed from papermill. dialogue, songs, you name it. i think the book needs a little re-writing and there are a lot of pointless interludes between scenes that could be cut but!!!!!!! holy fuck overall i love it so much. i can’t wait until we get a video boot i need to see this choreography and ESPECIALLY this is life and before welcome home

[yenneferw]

You thirsty bitch jfc: In the Flesh, Supernatural, Hannibal, Black Sails

In the Flesh: 

my all-time ultimate fave character: Simon Monroe have you ever seen him in a sweater he is beautiful 

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: Jem was really shitty in the beginning but she got a lot better really quickly

a character I used to like but now don’t: the show’s not long enough for me to hate anyone lmaooooo

a character I’m indifferent about: idk some of those side characters they focused on for a hot second. I could see what they were going for but I just wanted my boys and Amy

a character who deserved better: Amy :-(

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: I think I liked all of the ships they gave us fortunately 

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Obvs Simon and Kieren and Kieren and Rick. Iconic. When will your faves EVER

a cute, low-key ship: Philip and Amy were cute low-key

my favourite storyline/moment: I really liked Kieren’s acceptance of his zombiehood and all and also I relaly like that Simon exists

a storyline that never should have been written: Mmm Amy died and that’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me

my first thoughts on the show: Ooh cool zombies

my thoughts now: I’m so in love with Simon and Kieren and Amy and I would die for them and this is the best show in the world and it’s the worst thing ever that it was canceled and I’m almost certainly dead bc of this show

Supernatural: 

my all-time ultimate fave character: Dean or Cas for sure it kinda fluctuates 

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: I didn’t used to like Meg bc she was a bitch in the beginning but then she was fucking awesome 

a character I used to like but now don’t: I liked Ruby and then she turned into a bitch so I didn’t liek her in the end

a character I’m indifferent about: Idk I can’t think of anyone off the top of my head

a character who deserved better: Charlie. Charlie Charlie Charlie Charlie. If you don’t think her death was bullshit then I don’t know if you were watching the sae show that I was

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: That Charlie/Dorothy thing? Was that a big thing? I can’t remember. But I do support Charlie being alive with a girlfriend 

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Destiel lmaoooooooo 

a cute, low-key ship: Mm I think I remember thinking Dean/Benny was cute

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: what ships are unpopular? I feel so disconnected from the fandom anymore. Probably megstiel 

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: Sam and that Amelia girl. Who was she. Why was her only purpose manpain. I’m so tired

my favourite storyline/moment: Demon Dean was tragically short-lived and I wish spn would just keep turning him into a demon like we do lmao but also when Cas comes onscreen? Iconic

a storyline that never should have been written: All the damn dropped plotlines I used to know a bunch but I can’t remember them now. Also does homophobia, misogyny, and racism count. Bc lmao,,,,,,,

my first thoughts on the show: Unfortunately I was a superwholock bitch so idk what my first thoughts were but they were probably embarrassing 

my thoughts now: the horse is dead. does its corpse really need beaten anymore. But also I’m still gonna watch it bc they own my ass. Could’ve been so much cooler if you remove a) homophobia b) racism c) misogyny d) manpain and added instead More Castiel

Hannibal:

my all-time ultimate fave character: Will Graham I’m so

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: Idk did I dislike anyone? I mean I never liked Freddie but who did. I probably didn’t like Abel Gideon or whatever at first but he was a really cool serial killer and probably my favorite one of them on the show so

a character I used to like but now don’t: I started like Jack less toward the end. Everyone was going bad. It was a wild time. Like if you like falling from grace plots then Hannibal Is For You bc that’s literally every single goddamned character except pure gay Brian and Zeller in the background

a character I’m indifferent about: Idk I was pretty attached to everyone. Maybe Bedelia actually. I didn’t really have any thoughts on her

a character who deserved better: Beverly I kinda wish they hadn’t killed her off actually 

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: I think ppl ship Hannibal and Bedelia which nah

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Hannigram how iconic 

a cute, low-key ship: Alana/Margot also super fucking iconic I wish they had more

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: Hannibal and Alana but I think that’s obvious considering he was high key manipulating her 

my favourite storyline/moment: The first part of s3 as a whole was really good but I also like the innocence of s1 but also the subtle fall from grace in s2. I just really love this show okay it was a very good show

a storyline that never should have been written: I don’t know if there was one it was a really well-written and good show imo. 

my first thoughts on the show: I found this show when Sherlock was kind of dying off bc of the fucking shitshow that was s4 and someone said it was basically better Sherlock and I was like alright I’ll go for it

my thoughts now: Lord. Heck. I love this show so much I should really rewatch it because I feel like I’m losing some of my love for it 

Black Sails:

my all-time ultimate fave character: James Flint. A gay icon. When will your fave ever. I’m sobbing right now okay I love James Flint more than I love most things he is literally the best thing to ever happen to anything ever and I would die for him. Honorable mention: Max. I cry when she breathes she’s so perfect

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: Charles Vane. This show is really good at humanizing characters. I still have a lot of problems with Vane but I like where he was going in the end and I appreciate that he martyred himself. Also Teach for similar reasons, and also because his interactions with Jack did a good job of humanizing him I think. Plus his execution? Best martyrdom ever

a character I used to like but now don’t: Eleanor. I sort of liked her again for a hot second but I just didn’t like her after a while. She was going down a path I couldn’t get behind

a character I’m indifferent about: Go big or go home I’m indifferent about no one

a character who deserved better: Everyone they’re all so perfect I’m crying. Idk maybe Miranda tho like I completely agree with why she had to die for the story but I definitely had a Moment when she died and then I cried a lot about it

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: Go big or go home motherfuckers. I guess maybe Eleanor/Rogers tho I don’t know that I ever felt anything for them. Until s4 I wasn’t convinced on silverflint bc I knew the ending tho but then ep1 of s4 and I was sold, on board, and ready to die for them

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: flinthamilton when will your faves EVER also maxanne CHRIST I love them with my entire heart and soul and I cry constantly. Also silverflint at this point I’m in love with all of them I’m sobbing right now

a cute, low-key ship: John and Madi are cute. And I’ve always liked the background relationship between Featherstone and Idelle idk

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: I feel like ppl don’t really ship Gates and James but I def did

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: I don’t think that it shouldn’t ahve happened because it was integral to their storylines and their characters, but Eleanor/Charles Vane. I didn’t like them but just because they weren’t right for each other at all. But their relationship did largely influence how they interacted with the storyline and each other and stuff so it was important.

my favourite storyline/moment: When James or Max or Anne walk on screen? Iconic. But no I liked when James was slipping after Miranda and did all the shit like blowing up the town. It was just very exciting and I was really attached to Miranda so I was backing him completely. But I also really just like s2 in general.  

a storyline that never should have been written: I don’t think anything shouldn’t have been written. It’s such a good show that I can’t think of anything that I really didnt like as a whole. I’m sad James and John are splitting apart I guess but I completely understand why it has to happen and I know Thomas is at the end so it’s okay

my first thoughts on the show: I saw two men kissing with the tag black sails and was desperate for representation so I made us watch it

my thoughts now: Oh my god there is literally no tv show better than this show. NOthing will ever be good enough for me because of this show. I want to explode every time I think of it I have so much love in my heart for it