#Plumber Balmoral

[treesofgreen]

Ooh ooh time for one of my favorite poems:

THE CHAOS

GEORGE NOLST TRENITÉ (1870–1946)

Dearest creature in creation

Studying English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verse

Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

I will keep you, Susy, busy,

Make your head with heat grow dizzy;

Tear in eye, your dress you’ll tear;

Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

Pray, console your loving poet,

Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!

Just compare heart, hear and heard,

Dies and diet, lord and word.

Sword and sward, retain and Britain

(Mind the latter how it’s written).

Made has not the sound of bade,

Say—said, pay—paid, laid but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you

With such words as vague and ague,

But be careful how you speak,

Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak,

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via,

Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;

Woven, oven, how and low,

Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Say, expecting fraud and trickery:

Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,

Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,

Missiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing,

Same, examining, but mining,

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,

Solar, mica, war and far.

From ‘desire’: desirable—admirable from ‘admire’,

Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,

Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,

Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,

One, anemone, Balmoral,

Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.

Gertrude, German, wind and wind,

Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,

Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.

This phonetic labyrinth

Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Have you ever yet endeavoured

To pronounce revered and severed,

Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,

Peter, petrol and patrol?

Billet does not end like ballet;

Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.

Blood and flood are not like food,

Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet,

Which exactly rhymes with khaki.

Discount, viscount, load and broad,

Toward, to forward, to reward,

Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet?

Right! Your pronunciation’s OK.

Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,

Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Is your R correct in higher?

Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.

Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,

Buoyant, minute, but minute.

Say abscission with precision,

Now: position and transition;

Would it tally with my rhyme

If I mentioned paradigm?

Twopence, threepence, tease are easy,

But cease, crease, grease and greasy?

Cornice, nice, valise, revise,

Rabies, but lullabies.

Of such puzzling words as nauseous,

Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,

You’ll envelop lists, I hope,

In a linen envelope.

Would you like some more? You’ll have it!

Affidavit, David, davit.

To abjure, to perjure. Sheik

Does not sound like Czech but ache.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,

Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.

We say hallowed, but allowed,

People, leopard, towed but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover,

Between mover, plover, Dover.

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,

Chalice, but police and lice,

Camel, constable, unstable,

Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, penal, and canal,

Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,

Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit

Rhyme with ‘shirk it’ and ‘beyond it’,

But it is not hard to tell

Why it’s pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,

Timber, climber, bullion, lion,

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,

Senator, spectator, mayor,

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour

Has the A of drachm and hammer.

Pussy, hussy and possess,

Desert, but desert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants

Hoist in lieu of ��ags left pennants.

Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,

Cow, but Cowper, some and home.

‘Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker’,

Quoth he, ‘than liqueur or liquor’,

Making, it is sad but true,

In bravado, much ado.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger,

Neither does devour with clangour.

Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,

Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.

Arsenic, specific, scenic,

Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.

Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,

Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.

Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle,

Make the latter rhyme with eagle.

Mind! Meandering but mean,

Valentine and magazine.

And I bet you, dear, a penny,

You say mani-(fold) like many,

Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,

Tier (one who ties), but tier.

Arch, archangel; pray, does erring

Rhyme with herring or with stirring?

Prison, bison, treasure trove,

Treason, hover, cover, cove,

Perseverance, severance. Ribald

Rhymes (but piebald doesn’t) with nibbled.

Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,

Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.

Don’t be down, my own, but rough it,

And distinguish buffet, buffet;

Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,

Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.

Say in sounds correct and sterling

Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.

Evil, devil, mezzotint,

Mind the Z! (A gentle hint.)

Now you need not pay attention

To such sounds as I don’t mention,

Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,

Rhyming with the pronoun yours;

Nor are proper names included,

Though I often heard, as you did,

Funny rhymes to unicorn,

Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.

No, my maiden, coy and comely,

I don’t want to speak of Cholmondeley.

No. Yet Froude compared with proud

Is no better than McLeod.

But mind trivial and vial,

Tripod, menial, denial,

Troll and trolley, realm and ream,

Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.

Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely

May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,

But you’re not supposed to say

Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.

Had this invalid invalid

Worthless documents? How pallid,

How uncouth he, couchant, looked,

When for Portsmouth I had booked!

Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite,

Paramour, enamoured, flighty,

Episodes, antipodes,

Acquiesce, and obsequies.

Please don’t monkey with the geyser,

Don’t peel ’taters with my razor,

Rather say in accents pure:

Nature, stature and mature.

Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly,

Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,

Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,

Wan, sedan and artisan.

The TH will surely trouble you

More than R, CH or W.

Say then these phonetic gems:

Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.

Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham,

There are more but I forget ’em—

Wait! I’ve got it: Anthony,

Lighten your anxiety.

The archaic word albeit

Does not rhyme with eight—you see it;

With and forthwith, one has voice,

One has not, you make your choice.

Shoes, goes, does. Now first say: finger;

Then say: singer, ginger, linger.

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,

Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,

Hero, heron, query, very,

Parry, tarry, fury, bury,

Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,

Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.

Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners,

Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners

Holm you know, but noes, canoes,

Puisne, truism, use, to use?

Though the difference seems little,

We say actual, but victual,

Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,

Put, nut, granite, and unite.

Reefer does not rhyme with deafer,

Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,

Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.

Gaelic, Arabic, pacific,

Science, conscience, scientific;

Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,

Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit,

Next omit, which differs from it

Bona fide, alibi

Gyrate, dowry and awry.

Sea, idea, guinea, area,

Psalm, Maria, but malaria.

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,

Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,

Dandelion with battalion,

Rally with ally; yea, ye,

Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!

Say aver, but ever, fever,

Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.

Never guess—it is not safe,

We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.

Starry, granary, canary,

Crevice, but device, and eyrie,

Face, but preface, then grimace,

Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging,

Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;

Ear, but earn; and ere and tear

Do not rhyme with here but heir.

Mind the O of off and often

Which may be pronounced as orphan,

With the sound of saw and sauce;

Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.

Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting?

Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.

Respite, spite, consent, resent.

Liable, but Parliament.

Seven is right, but so is even,

Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,

Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,

Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.

A of valour, vapid vapour,

S of news (compare newspaper),

G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,

I of antichrist and grist,

Differ like diverse and divers,

Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.

Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,

Polish, Polish, poll and poll.

Pronunciation—think of Psyche!—

Is a paling, stout and spiky.

Won’t it make you lose your wits

Writing groats and saying ‘grits’?

It’s a dark abyss or tunnel

Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,

Islington, and Isle of Wight,

Housewife, verdict and indict.

Don’t you think so, reader, rather,

Saying lather, bather, father?

Finally, which rhymes with enough,

Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough?

Hiccough has the sound of sup.

My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

[bluelineplumbers]

Blueline Plumbers Gillingham

At Blueline Plumbers Gillingham we uphold our work quality to high standards to ensure that all our customers are satisfied with the completed job. Our Engineers are trained to provide high-quality workmanship to fix any of the plumbing issues you may be facing.Convenience and Peace of Mind, that’s what we offer with our Full-Spectrum One-Stop-Shop Plumbing Services.From Plumbing installations and repairs to, bespoke kitchen & bathroom fitting, our expert engineers have got you covered.Need Emergency Repair services for you home?Our team of qualified plumbing engineers are ready to help you 24 hours a day, seven days a week with a 100% Satisfaction guarantee.

Website: https://bluelineplumbersgillingham.co.uk/

Address : 124 Balmoral Rd, Gillingham, ME7 4QR

Phone Number: 01634 218286

Business Hours: MON-FRI 9AM-6PM

Contact Email: info@bluelineplumbersgillingham.co.uk

Contact Name: Ryan Keenan

[leadgen]

Local Brisbane Plumber is your local plumber Brisbane specialist. If you have an issue with a blocked drain Brisbane or hot water system Brisbane, then you need a 24 hour plumber Brisbane or an emergency plumber Brisbane to service you. You might also reach out to a gas plumber Brisbane to help you. It’s important that you have a Brisbane plumber, Plumbing Brisbane, plumbers Brisbane you can trust. Drain Camera Brisbane and Carbon Monoxide Testing Brisbane are other service we offer to our clients. Emergency Plumbing Brisbane is important to your home system. Do you have a Burst Pipe Brisbane? Make sure to visit our contact page. We service many suburbs including: Plumber Bowen Hills, Plumber Boondall, Plumber Belmont, Plumber Bellbowrie, Plumber Bardon, Plumber Banyo, Plumber Banks Creek, Plumber Balmoral, Plumber Bald Hills, Plumber Auchenflower, Plumber Chermside West, Plumber Chermside, Plumber Chelmer, Plumber Chapel Hill, Plumber Chandler, Plumber Carseldine, Plumber Carindale, Plumber Carina Heights, Plumber Carina, Plumber Cannon Hill, Plumber Fig Tree Pocket, Plumber Fairfield, Plumber Ferny Grove, Plumber Everton Park, Plumber Enoggera, Plumber Ellen Grove, Plumber Eight Mile Plains, Plumber East Brisbane, Plumber Eagle Farm, Plumber Dutton Park, Plumber Middle Park, Plumber Mcdowall, Plumber Mansfield, Plumber Manly, Plumber Mackenzie, Plumber Yeronga, Plumber Yeerongpilly, Plumber Wynnum, Plumber Wooloowin, Plumber Wooloongabba, Plumber Wishart, Plumber Windsor, Plumber Wilston, Plumber Willawong, Plumber Westlake, Plumber West End, Plumber Wavell Heights, Plumber Wakerley, Plumber Wacol, Plumber Virginia, Plumber Upper Mt Gravatt, Plumber Upper Kedron, Plumber Toowong, Plumber Tingalpa, Plumber The Gap, Plumber Tennyson, Plumber Tenerrife, Plumber Tarragindi, Plumber Taringa, Plumber Taigum, Plumber Sunnybank, Plumber Sumner, Plumber Stretton, Plumber Stafford, Plumber St Lucia, Plumber Sping Hill, Plumber South Brisbane, Plumber Sinnamon Park, Plumber Shorncliffe, Plumber Sherwood, Plumber Seventeen Mile Rocks, Plumber Seven Hills, Plumber Sandgate, Plumber Salisbury, Plumber Runcorn

[thisdiscontentedwinter]

There is a wonderful poem about the nonsensical spelling of the English language. It's called "The Chaos" from Gerard Nolst Trenité

Thank you! I’ve read this before but I didn’t know who the author was. 

Here it is: 

The Chaos (by G. Nolst Trenité, a.k.a. "Charivarius"; 1870 - 1946)

Dearest creature in creationStudying English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verseSounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse

I will keep you, Susy, busy,Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye your dress you'll tear,So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,

Pray, console your loving poet,Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!

Just compare heart, beard and heard,Dies and diet, lord and word,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain.(Mind the latter, how it's written).

Made has not the sound of bade,Say said, pay-paid, laid, but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague youWith such words as vague and ague,

But be careful how you speak,Say break, steak, but bleak and streak.

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via,Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,

Cloven, oven, how and low,Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery:Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles.Exiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing.Thames, examining, combining

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,Solar, mica, war, and far.

From "desire": desirable--admirable from "admire."Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier.

Chatham, brougham, renown, but known.Knowledge, done, but gone and tone,

One, anemone. Balmoral.Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel,

Gertrude, German, wind, and mind.Scene, Melpomene, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather,Reading, reading, heathen, heather.

This phonetic labyrinthGives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Billet does not end like ballet;Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet;

Blood and flood are not like food,Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet,Which is said to rime with "darky."

Viscous, Viscount, load, and broad.Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation's O.K.,When you say correctly: croquet.

Rounded, wounded, grieve, and sieve,Friend and fiend, alive, and live,

Liberty, library, heave, and heaven,Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven,

We say hallowed, but allowed,People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover,Between mover, plover, Dover,

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,Chalice, but police, and lice.

Camel, constable, unstable,Principle, disciple, label,

Petal, penal, and canal,Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal.

Suit, suite, ruin, circuit, conduit,Rime with "shirk it" and "beyond it."

But it is not hard to tell,Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron,Timber, climber, bullion, lion,

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, and chair,Senator, spectator, mayor,

Ivy, privy, famous, clamourAnd enamour rime with hammer.

Pussy, hussy, and possess,Desert, but dessert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants.Hoist, in lieu of flags, left pennants.

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,Doll and roll and some and home.

Stranger does not rime with anger.Neither does devour with clangour.

Soul, but foul and gaunt but aunt.Font, front, won't, want, grand, and grant.

Shoes, goes, does. Now first say: finger.And then: singer, ginger, linger,

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, and gauge,Marriage, foliage, mirage, age.

Query does not rime with very,Nor does fury sound like bury.

Dost, lost, post; and doth, cloth, loth;Job, Job; blossom, bosom, oath.

Though the difference seems little,We say actual, but victual.

Seat, sweat; chaste, caste.; Leigh, eight, height;Put, nut; granite, and unite.

Reefer does not rime with deafer,Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,Hint, pint, Senate, but sedate.

Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,Science, conscience, scientific,

Tour, but our and succour, four,Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Sea, idea, guinea, area,Psalm, Maria, but malaria,

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,Dandelion with battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye,Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay.

Say aver, but ever, fever.Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.

Never guess--it is not safe:We say calves, valves, half, but Ralph.

Heron, granary, canary,Crevice and device, and eyrie,

Face but preface, but efface,Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Large, but target, gin, give, verging,Ought, out, joust, and scour, but scourging,

Ear but earn, and wear and bearDo not rime with here, but ere.

Seven is right, but so is even,Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,

Monkey, donkey, clerk, and jerk,Asp, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation--think of psyche--!Is a paling, stout and spikey,

Won't it make you lose your wits,Writing "groats" and saying "grits"?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel,Strewn with stones, like rowlock, gunwale,

Islington and Isle of Wight,Housewife, verdict, and indict!

Don't you think so, reader, rather,Saying lather, bather, father?

Finally: which rimes with "enough"Though, through, plough, cough, hough, or tough?

Hiccough has the sound of "cup."My advice is--give it up!

[thecynicalm]

Gerard Nolst Trenité - The Chaos (1922)

This poem is great for training your pronunciation if you’re not a native speaker of english and I love it. Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation,   I will teach you in my verse   Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy;   Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;   Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

Pray, console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!   Just compare heart, hear and heard,   Dies and diet, lord and word.

Sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter how it's written).   Made has not the sound of bade,   Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague,   But be careful how you speak,   Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak ,

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;   Woven, oven, how and low,   Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Say, expecting fraud and trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,   Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,   Missiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing, Same, examining, but mining,   Scholar, vicar, and cigar,   Solar, mica, war and far.

From "desire": desirable-admirable from "admire", Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,   Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,   Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,

One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.   Gertrude, German, wind and wind,   Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.   This phonetic labyrinth   Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Have you ever yet endeavoured To pronounce revered and severed,   Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,   Peter, petrol and patrol?

Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.   Blood and flood are not like food,   Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which exactly rhymes with khaki.   Discount, viscount, load and broad,   Toward, to forward, to reward,

Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? Right! Your pronunciation's OK.   Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,   Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Is your r correct in higher? Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.   Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,   Buoyant, minute, but minute.

Say abscission with precision, Now: position and transition;   Would it tally with my rhyme   If I mentioned paradigm?

Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, But cease, crease, grease and greasy?   Cornice, nice, valise, revise,   Rabies, but lullabies.

Of such puzzling words as nauseous, Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,   You'll envelop lists, I hope,   In a linen envelope.

Would you like some more? You'll have it! Affidavit, David, davit.   To abjure, to perjure. Sheik   Does not sound like Czech but ache.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.   We say hallowed, but allowed,   People, leopard, towed but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover.   Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,   Chalice, but police and lice,

Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label.   Petal, penal, and canal,   Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,

Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it",   But it is not hard to tell   Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, Timber, climber, bullion, lion,   Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,   Senator, spectator, mayor,

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour Has the a of drachm and hammer.   Pussy, hussy and possess,   Desert, but desert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.   Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,   Cow, but Cowper, some and home.

"Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker", Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor",   Making, it is sad but true,   In bravado, much ado.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour.   Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,   Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.

Arsenic, specific, scenic, Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.   Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,   Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.

Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle, Make the latter rhyme with eagle.   Mind! Meandering but mean,   Valentine and magazine.

And I bet you, dear, a penny, You say mani-(fold) like many,   Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,   Tier (one who ties), but tier.

Arch, archangel; pray, does erring Rhyme with herring or with stirring?   Prison, bison, treasure trove,   Treason, hover, cover, cove,

Perseverance, severance. Ribald Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled.   Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,   Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.

Don't be down, my own, but rough it, And distinguish buffet, buffet;   Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,   Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.

Say in sounds correct and sterling Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.   Evil, devil, mezzotint,   Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)

Now you need not pay attention To such sounds as I don't mention,   Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,   Rhyming with the pronoun yours;

Nor are proper names included, Though I often heard, as you did,   Funny rhymes to unicorn,   Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.

No, my maiden, coy and comely, I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley.   No. Yet Froude compared with proud   Is no better than McLeod.

But mind trivial and vial, Tripod, menial, denial,   Troll and trolley, realm and ream,   Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.

Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,   But you're not supposed to say   Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.

Had this invalid invalid Worthless documents? How pallid,   How uncouth he, couchant, looked,   When for Portsmouth I had booked!

Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite, Paramour, enamoured, flighty,   Episodes, antipodes,   Acquiesce, and obsequies.

Please don't monkey with the geyser, Don't peel 'taters with my razor,   Rather say in accents pure:   Nature, stature and mature.

Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly, Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,   Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,   Wan, sedan and artisan.

The th will surely trouble you More than r, ch or w.   Say then these phonetic gems:   Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.

Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham, There are more but I forget 'em-   Wait! I've got it: Anthony,   Lighten your anxiety.

The archaic word albeit Does not rhyme with eight-you see it;   With and forthwith, one has voice,   One has not, you make your choice.

Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger; Then say: singer, ginger, linger.   Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,   Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,

Hero, heron, query, very, Parry, tarry fury, bury,   Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,   Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.

Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners   Holm you know, but noes, canoes,   Puisne, truism, use, to use?

Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual,   Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,   Put, nut, granite, and unite.

Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.   Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,   Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.

Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, Science, conscience, scientific;   Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,   Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, Next omit, which differs from it   Bona fide, alibi   Gyrate, dowry and awry.

Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria.   Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,   Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion,   Rally with ally; yea, ye,   Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!

Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.   Never guess-it is not safe,   We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.

Starry, granary, canary, Crevice, but device, and eyrie,   Face, but preface, then grimace,   Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;   Ear, but earn; and ere and tear   Do not rhyme with here but heir.

Mind the o of off and often Which may be pronounced as orphan,   With the sound of saw and sauce;   Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.

Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting? Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.   Respite, spite, consent, resent.   Liable, but Parliament.

Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,   Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,   Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.

A of valour, vapid vapour, S of news (compare newspaper),   G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,   I of antichrist and grist,

Differ like diverse and divers, Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.   Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,   Polish, Polish, poll and poll.

Pronunciation-think of Psyche!- Is a paling, stout and spiky.   Won't it make you lose your wits   Writing groats and saying "grits"?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,   Islington, and Isle of Wight,   Housewife, verdict and indict.

Don't you think so, reader, rather, Saying lather, bather, father?   Finally, which rhymes with enough,   Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough??

Hiccough has the sound of sup... My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

[yogurtbattle]

Because English pronunciation is random

Gerard Nolst Trenité - The Chaos (1922)

Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation,   I will teach you in my verse   Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy;   Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;   Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

Pray, console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!   Just compare heart, hear and heard,   Dies and diet, lord and word.

Sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter how it's written).   Made has not the sound of bade,   Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague,   But be careful how you speak,   Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak ,

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;   Woven, oven, how and low,   Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Say, expecting fraud and trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,   Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,   Missiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing, Same, examining, but mining,   Scholar, vicar, and cigar,   Solar, mica, war and far.

From "desire": desirable-admirable from "admire", Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,   Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,   Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,

One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.   Gertrude, German, wind and wind,   Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.   This phonetic labyrinth   Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Have you ever yet endeavoured To pronounce revered and severed,   Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,   Peter, petrol and patrol?

Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.   Blood and flood are not like food,   Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which exactly rhymes with khaki.   Discount, viscount, load and broad,   Toward, to forward, to reward,

Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? Right! Your pronunciation's OK.   Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,   Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Is your r correct in higher? Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.   Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,   Buoyant, minute, but minute.

Say abscission with precision, Now: position and transition;   Would it tally with my rhyme   If I mentioned paradigm?

Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, But cease, crease, grease and greasy?   Cornice, nice, valise, revise,   Rabies, but lullabies.

Of such puzzling words as nauseous, Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,   You'll envelop lists, I hope,   In a linen envelope.

Would you like some more? You'll have it! Affidavit, David, davit.   To abjure, to perjure. Sheik   Does not sound like Czech but ache.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.   We say hallowed, but allowed,   People, leopard, towed but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover.   Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,   Chalice, but police and lice,

Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label.   Petal, penal, and canal,   Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,

Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it",   But it is not hard to tell   Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, Timber, climber, bullion, lion,   Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,   Senator, spectator, mayor,

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour Has the a of drachm and hammer.   Pussy, hussy and possess,   Desert, but desert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.   Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,   Cow, but Cowper, some and home.

"Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker", Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor",   Making, it is sad but true,   In bravado, much ado.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour.   Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,   Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.

Arsenic, specific, scenic, Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.   Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,   Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.

Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle, Make the latter rhyme with eagle.   Mind! Meandering but mean,   Valentine and magazine.

And I bet you, dear, a penny, You say mani-(fold) like many,   Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,   Tier (one who ties), but tier.

Arch, archangel; pray, does erring Rhyme with herring or with stirring?   Prison, bison, treasure trove,   Treason, hover, cover, cove,

Perseverance, severance. Ribald Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled.   Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,   Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.

Don't be down, my own, but rough it, And distinguish buffet, buffet;   Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,   Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.

Say in sounds correct and sterling Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.   Evil, devil, mezzotint,   Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)

Now you need not pay attention To such sounds as I don't mention,   Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,   Rhyming with the pronoun yours;

Nor are proper names included, Though I often heard, as you did,   Funny rhymes to unicorn,   Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.

No, my maiden, coy and comely, I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley.   No. Yet Froude compared with proud   Is no better than McLeod.

But mind trivial and vial, Tripod, menial, denial,   Troll and trolley, realm and ream,   Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.

Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,   But you're not supposed to say   Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.

Had this invalid invalid Worthless documents? How pallid,   How uncouth he, couchant, looked,   When for Portsmouth I had booked!

Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite, Paramour, enamoured, flighty,   Episodes, antipodes,   Acquiesce, and obsequies.

Please don't monkey with the geyser, Don't peel 'taters with my razor,   Rather say in accents pure:   Nature, stature and mature.

Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly, Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,   Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,   Wan, sedan and artisan.

The th will surely trouble you More than r, ch or w.   Say then these phonetic gems:   Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.

Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham, There are more but I forget 'em-   Wait! I've got it: Anthony,   Lighten your anxiety.

The archaic word albeit Does not rhyme with eight-you see it;   With and forthwith, one has voice,   One has not, you make your choice.

Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger; Then say: singer, ginger, linger.   Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,   Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,

Hero, heron, query, very, Parry, tarry fury, bury,   Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,   Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.

Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners   Holm you know, but noes, canoes,   Puisne, truism, use, to use?

Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual,   Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,   Put, nut, granite, and unite.

Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.   Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,   Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.

Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, Science, conscience, scientific;   Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,   Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, Next omit, which differs from it   Bona fide, alibi   Gyrate, dowry and awry.

Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria.   Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,   Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion,   Rally with ally; yea, ye,   Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!

Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.   Never guess-it is not safe,   We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.

Starry, granary, canary, Crevice, but device, and eyrie,   Face, but preface, then grimace,   Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;   Ear, but earn; and ere and tear   Do not rhyme with here but heir.

Mind the o of off and often Which may be pronounced as orphan,   With the sound of saw and sauce;   Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.

Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting? Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.   Respite, spite, consent, resent.   Liable, but Parliament.

Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,   Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,   Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.

A of valour, vapid vapour, S of news (compare newspaper),   G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,   I of antichrist and grist,

Differ like diverse and divers, Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.   Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,   Polish, Polish, poll and poll.

Pronunciation-think of Psyche!- Is a paling, stout and spiky.   Won't it make you lose your wits   Writing groats and saying "grits"?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,   Islington, and Isle of Wight,   Housewife, verdict and indict.

Don't you think so, reader, rather, Saying lather, bather, father?   Finally, which rhymes with enough,   Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough??

Hiccough has the sound of sup... My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

[localizee]

At Blueline Plumbers Gillingham we uphold our work quality to high standards to ensure that all our customers are satisfied with the completed job.

[conyersmooney]

Blueline Plumbers Gillingham

We provide premium plumbing services at affordable rates with high-quality results. We are your local all-in-one plumbing company in Gillingham that provides fast and reliable services for your plumbing & heating needs. We are your one-stop-shop for plumbing repairs, plumbing installation, boiler repairs & installations, and fixture fittings for your bathroom.

At Blueline Plumbers Gillingham we uphold our work quality to high standards to ensure that all our customers are satisfied with the completed job. Our Engineers are trained to provide high-quality workmanship to fix any of the plumbing issues you may be facing.

Blueline Plumbers Gillingham 124 Balmoral Rd Gillingham, ME7 4QR +441634218286 https://bluelineplumbersgillingham.co.uk https://www.google.com/maps?cid=2708676155623624028 https://blueline-plumbers-gillingham.business.site/

[eru-na]

Gerard Nolst Trenité - The Chaos (1922)

Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation,   I will teach you in my verse   Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy;   Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear;   Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

Pray, console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!   Just compare heart, hear and heard,   Dies and diet, lord and word.

Sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter how it's written).   Made has not the sound of bade,   Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague,   But be careful how you speak,   Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak ,

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir;   Woven, oven, how and low,   Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Say, expecting fraud and trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,   Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles,   Missiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing, Same, examining, but mining,   Scholar, vicar, and cigar,   Solar, mica, war and far.

From "desire": desirable-admirable from "admire", Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier,   Topsham, brougham, renown, but known,   Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,

One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel.   Gertrude, German, wind and wind,   Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, Reading, Reading, heathen, heather.   This phonetic labyrinth   Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Have you ever yet endeavoured To pronounce revered and severed,   Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul,   Peter, petrol and patrol?

Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.   Blood and flood are not like food,   Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which exactly rhymes with khaki.   Discount, viscount, load and broad,   Toward, to forward, to reward,

Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? Right! Your pronunciation's OK.   Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,   Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Is your r correct in higher? Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia.   Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot,   Buoyant, minute, but minute.

Say abscission with precision, Now: position and transition;   Would it tally with my rhyme   If I mentioned paradigm?

Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, But cease, crease, grease and greasy?   Cornice, nice, valise, revise,   Rabies, but lullabies.

Of such puzzling words as nauseous, Rhyming well with cautious, tortious,   You'll envelop lists, I hope,   In a linen envelope.

Would you like some more? You'll have it! Affidavit, David, davit.   To abjure, to perjure. Sheik   Does not sound like Czech but ache.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven.   We say hallowed, but allowed,   People, leopard, towed but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover.   Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,   Chalice, but police and lice,

Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label.   Petal, penal, and canal,   Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,

Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it",   But it is not hard to tell   Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, Timber, climber, bullion, lion,   Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,   Senator, spectator, mayor,

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour Has the a of drachm and hammer.   Pussy, hussy and possess,   Desert, but desert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants.   Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb,   Cow, but Cowper, some and home.

"Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker", Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor",   Making, it is sad but true,   In bravado, much ado.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour.   Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt,   Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.

Arsenic, specific, scenic, Relic, rhetoric, hygienic.   Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close,   Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.

Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle, Make the latter rhyme with eagle.   Mind! Meandering but mean,   Valentine and magazine.

And I bet you, dear, a penny, You say mani-(fold) like many,   Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier,   Tier (one who ties), but tier.

Arch, archangel; pray, does erring Rhyme with herring or with stirring?   Prison, bison, treasure trove,   Treason, hover, cover, cove,

Perseverance, severance. Ribald Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled.   Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw,   Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.

Don't be down, my own, but rough it, And distinguish buffet, buffet;   Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon,   Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.

Say in sounds correct and sterling Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling.   Evil, devil, mezzotint,   Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)

Now you need not pay attention To such sounds as I don't mention,   Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws,   Rhyming with the pronoun yours;

Nor are proper names included, Though I often heard, as you did,   Funny rhymes to unicorn,   Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.

No, my maiden, coy and comely, I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley.   No. Yet Froude compared with proud   Is no better than McLeod.

But mind trivial and vial, Tripod, menial, denial,   Troll and trolley, realm and ream,   Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.

Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely May be made to rhyme with Raleigh,   But you're not supposed to say   Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.

Had this invalid invalid Worthless documents? How pallid,   How uncouth he, couchant, looked,   When for Portsmouth I had booked!

Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite, Paramour, enamoured, flighty,   Episodes, antipodes,   Acquiesce, and obsequies.

Please don't monkey with the geyser, Don't peel 'taters with my razor,   Rather say in accents pure:   Nature, stature and mature.

Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly, Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly,   Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan,   Wan, sedan and artisan.

The th will surely trouble you More than r, ch or w.   Say then these phonetic gems:   Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.

Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham, There are more but I forget 'em-   Wait! I've got it: Anthony,   Lighten your anxiety.

The archaic word albeit Does not rhyme with eight-you see it;   With and forthwith, one has voice,   One has not, you make your choice.

Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger; Then say: singer, ginger, linger.   Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge,   Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,

Hero, heron, query, very, Parry, tarry fury, bury,   Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth,   Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.

Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners   Holm you know, but noes, canoes,   Puisne, truism, use, to use?

Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual,   Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height,   Put, nut, granite, and unite.

Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.   Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late,   Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.

Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, Science, conscience, scientific;   Tour, but our, dour, succour, four,   Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, Next omit, which differs from it   Bona fide, alibi   Gyrate, dowry and awry.

Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria.   Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean,   Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion,   Rally with ally; yea, ye,   Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!

Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.   Never guess-it is not safe,   We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.

Starry, granary, canary, Crevice, but device, and eyrie,   Face, but preface, then grimace,   Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging;   Ear, but earn; and ere and tear   Do not rhyme with here but heir.

Mind the o of off and often Which may be pronounced as orphan,   With the sound of saw and sauce;   Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.

Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting? Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting.   Respite, spite, consent, resent.   Liable, but Parliament.

Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,   Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk,   Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.

A of valour, vapid vapour, S of news (compare newspaper),   G of gibbet, gibbon, gist,   I of antichrist and grist,

Differ like diverse and divers, Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers.   Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll,   Polish, Polish, poll and poll.

Pronunciation-think of Psyche!- Is a paling, stout and spiky.   Won't it make you lose your wits   Writing groats and saying "grits"?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale,   Islington, and Isle of Wight,   Housewife, verdict and indict.

Don't you think so, reader, rather, Saying lather, bather, father?   Finally, which rhymes with enough,   Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough??

Hiccough has the sound of sup... My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

[bathtub-bastard]

Seems like as good a time as any to post The Chaos by Gerard Nolst Trenité.

“Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation, I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.

“I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy; Tear in eye, your dress you’ll tear; Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer.

“Pray, console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it! Just compare heart, hear and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word.

“Sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter how it’s written). Made has not the sound of bade, Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid.

“Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague, But be careful how you speak, Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak ,

“Previous, precious, fuchsia, via Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir; Woven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

“Say, expecting fraud and trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore, Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles, Missiles, similes, reviles.

“Wholly, holly, signal, signing, Same, examining, but mining, Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far.

“From “desire”: desirable-admirable from “admire”, Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier, Topsham, brougham, renown, but known, Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone,

“One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel. Gertrude, German, wind and wind, Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind,

“Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, Reading, Reading, heathen, heather. This phonetic labyrinth Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

“Have you ever yet endeavoured To pronounce revered and severed, Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul, Peter, petrol and patrol?

“Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would.

“Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which exactly rhymes with khaki. Discount, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward,

“Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? Right! Your pronunciation’s OK. Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live.

“Is your r correct in higher? Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia. Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot, Buoyant, minute, but minute.

“Say abscission with precision, Now: position and transition; Would it tally with my rhyme If I mentioned paradigm?

“Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, But cease, crease, grease and greasy? Cornice, nice, valise, revise, Rabies, but lullabies.

“Of such puzzling words as nauseous, Rhyming well with cautious, tortious, You’ll envelop lists, I hope, In a linen envelope.

“Would you like some more? You’ll have it! Affidavit, David, davit. To abjure, to perjure. Sheik Does not sound like Czech but ache.

“Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed but vowed.

“Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover. Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, Chalice, but police and lice,

“Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, penal, and canal, Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal,

“Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit Rhyme with “shirk it” and “beyond it”, But it is not hard to tell Why it’s pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

“Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, Timber, climber, bullion, lion, Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor,

“Ivy, privy, famous; clamour Has the a of drachm and hammer. Pussy, hussy and possess, Desert, but desert, address.

“Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants. Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb, Cow, but Cowper, some and home.

““Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker”, Quoth he, “than liqueur or liquor”, Making, it is sad but true, In bravado, much ado.

“Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant.

“Arsenic, specific, scenic, Relic, rhetoric, hygienic. Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close, Paradise, rise, rose, and dose.

“Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle, Make the latter rhyme with eagle. Mind! Meandering but mean, Valentine and magazine.

“And I bet you, dear, a penny, You say mani-(fold) like many, Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier, Tier (one who ties), but tier.

“Arch, archangel; pray, does erring Rhyme with herring or with stirring? Prison, bison, treasure trove, Treason, hover, cover, cove,

“Perseverance, severance. Ribald Rhymes (but piebald doesn’t) with nibbled. Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw, Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw.

“Don’t be down, my own, but rough it, And distinguish buffet, buffet; Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon, Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn.

“Say in sounds correct and sterling Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling. Evil, devil, mezzotint, Mind the z! (A gentle hint.)

“Now you need not pay attention To such sounds as I don’t mention, Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws, Rhyming with the pronoun yours;

“Nor are proper names included, Though I often heard, as you did, Funny rhymes to unicorn, Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan.

“No, my maiden, coy and comely, I don’t want to speak of Cholmondeley. No. Yet Froude compared with proud Is no better than McLeod.

“But mind trivial and vial, Tripod, menial, denial, Troll and trolley, realm and ream, Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme.

“Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely May be made to rhyme with Raleigh, But you’re not supposed to say Piquet rhymes with sobriquet.

“Had this invalid invalid Worthless documents? How pallid, How uncouth he, couchant, looked, When for Portsmouth I had booked!

��Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite, Paramour, enamoured, flighty, Episodes, antipodes, Acquiesce, and obsequies.

“Please don’t monkey with the geyser, Don’t peel ‘taters with my razor, Rather say in accents pure: Nature, stature and mature.

“Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly, Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly, Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan, Wan, sedan and artisan.

“The th will surely trouble you More than r, ch or w. Say then these phonetic gems: Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames.

“Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham, There are more but I forget ’em- Wait! I’ve got it: Anthony, Lighten your anxiety.

“The archaic word albeit Does not rhyme with eight-you see it; With and forthwith, one has voice, One has not, you make your choice.

“Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger; Then say: singer, ginger, linger. Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, age,

“Hero, heron, query, very, Parry, tarry fury, bury, Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth, Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath.

“Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners Holm you know, but noes, canoes, Puisne, truism, use, to use?

“Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual, Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height, Put, nut, granite, and unite.

“Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late, Hint, pint, senate, but sedate.

“Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, Science, conscience, scientific; Tour, but our, dour, succour, four, Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

“Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, Next omit, which differs from it Bona fide, alibi Gyrate, dowry and awry.

“Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean, Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

“Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion, Rally with ally; yea, ye, Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay!

“Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, receiver. Never guess-it is not safe, We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf.

“Starry, granary, canary, Crevice, but device, and eyrie, Face, but preface, then grimace, Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

“Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging; Ear, but earn; and ere and tear Do not rhyme with here but heir.

“Mind the o of off and often Which may be pronounced as orphan, With the sound of saw and sauce; Also soft, lost, cloth and cross.

“Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting? Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting. Respite, spite, consent, resent. Liable, but Parliament.

“Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen, Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk, Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work.

“A of valour, vapid vapour, S of news (compare newspaper), G of gibbet, gibbon, gist, I of antichrist and grist,

“Differ like diverse and divers, Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers. Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll, Polish, Polish, poll and poll.

“Pronunciation-think of Psyche!- Is a paling, stout and spiky. Won’t it make you lose your wits Writing groats and saying “grits”?

“It’s a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale, Islington, and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict.

“Don’t you think so, reader, rather, Saying lather, bather, father? Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough??

“Hiccough has the sound of sup… My advice is: GIVE IT UP!”

Spelling bees in France must be a bitch.

[leadgen]

24 Hour Plumber Brisbane – Emergency plumbing services

Most plumbers in Brisbane usually provide emergency services which mean that the plumbers provide their services on a twenty-four hours basis. This makes it possible to get a 24 hour plumber Brisbane provided one has the contacts of the particular plumber. This is helpful and convenient since there are various plumbing issues that require being resolved as soon as possible. Such issues usually make a home un-conducive or they might be causing damages to various amenities in the home. Here are situations where you would call a 24 hour plumber Brisbane.

24 hour plumber Brisbane – For leaking water pipes

One of the common situations is when water pipes breaks. This means that the water pipes get damaged and therefore the water starts getting in places where it should not be. The water might be pouring into the house or going to sections of the house that are supposed to be dry. This is even more serious when there is no way where the water can be shut down to wait for the plumber. In such a situation, one requires to call the 24 hour plumber Brisbane regardless of the time of day since if the water continues pouring it will eventually flood the house.

24 hour plumber Brisbane – Getting your hand stuck in a pipe or drain

Another situation which might require calling a 24 hour plumber Brisbane is when a person's hand gets stuck in the sink pipes. This happens when something falls on the sink and then one tries to retrieve it by putting the hand in the pipes. It also happens when children are playing on the sink and they get stuck. In such a situation, one will require calling the 24 hour plumber Brisbane immediately so that the sink and the pipes can be opened to release the person who is stuck.

24 hour plumber Brisbane – For Burst Water Pipes

When sewerage pipes burst it also becomes necessary to call the 24 hour plumber Brisbane immediately. This is especially if these pipes are next to the house because the bad small will be coming directly into the house. The result of this is that the house will become un-conducive to stay or sleep in.

24 hour plumber Brisbane – for blocked or overflowing toilets

A blocked or overflowing toilet is also a reason that requires immediate attention from 24 hour plumber Brisbane. This is especially if the toilet is near the sleeping areas or there are no other toilets in the house. When the toilet overflows it produces a bad smell and waste might even get onto the floor. When it is blocked it means that one cannot use it until it is unblocked. Therefore, such situations make it necessary to call a 24 hour plumber Brisbane.

Local Brisbane Plumber is your local plumber Brisbane specialist. If you have an issue with a blocked drain Brisbane or hot water system Brisbane, then you need a 24 hour plumber Brisbane or an emergency plumber Brisbane to service you. You might also reach out to a gas plumber Brisbane to help you. It’s important that you have a Brisbane plumber, Plumbing Brisbane, plumbers Brisbane you can trust. Drain Camera Brisbane and Carbon Monoxide Testing Brisbane are other service we offer to our clients. Emergency Plumbing Brisbane is important to your home system. Do you have a Burst Pipe Brisbane? Make sure to visit our contact page. We service many suburbs including: Plumber Bowen Hills, Plumber Boondall, Plumber Belmont, Plumber Bellbowrie, Plumber Bardon, Plumber Banyo, Plumber Banks Creek, Plumber Balmoral, Plumber Bald Hills, Plumber Auchenflower, Plumber Chermside West, Plumber Chermside, Plumber Chelmer, Plumber Chapel Hill, Plumber Chandler, Plumber Carseldine, Plumber Carindale, Plumber Carina Heights, Plumber Carina, Plumber Cannon Hill, Plumber Fig Tree Pocket, Plumber Fairfield, Plumber Ferny Grove, Plumber Everton Park, Plumber Enoggera, Plumber Ellen Grove, Plumber Eight Mile Plains, Plumber East Brisbane, Plumber Eagle Farm, Plumber Dutton Park, Plumber Middle Park, Plumber Mcdowall, Plumber Mansfield, Plumber Manly, Plumber Mackenzie, Plumber Yeronga, Plumber Yeerongpilly, Plumber Wynnum, Plumber Wooloowin, Plumber Wooloongabba, Plumber Wishart, Plumber Windsor, Plumber Wilston, Plumber Willawong, Plumber Westlake, Plumber West End, Plumber Wavell Heights, Plumber Wakerley, Plumber Wacol, Plumber Virginia, Plumber Upper Mt Gravatt, Plumber Upper Kedron, Plumber Toowong, Plumber Tingalpa, Plumber The Gap, Plumber Tennyson, Plumber Tenerrife, Plumber Tarragindi, Plumber Taringa, Plumber Taigum, Plumber Sunnybank, Plumber Sumner, Plumber Stretton, Plumber Stafford, Plumber St Lucia, Plumber Sping Hill, Plumber South Brisbane, Plumber Sinnamon Park, Plumber Shorncliffe, Plumber Sherwood, Plumber Seventeen Mile Rocks, Plumber Seven Hills, Plumber Sandgate, Plumber Salisbury, Plumber Runcorn

[localbrisbaneplumber]

If you have an issue with a blocked drain brisbane or hot water system brisbane, then you need a 24 hour plumber brisbane or an emergency plumber brisbane to service you. You might also reach out to a gas plumber brisbane to help you. Its important that you have a plumber brisbane or a brisbane Plumber you can trust. A drain camera Brisbane plumber can also be important to you. If you suspect carbon monoxide is present, you will also need Carbon Monoxide Testing Brisbane or plumbing Brisbane.

Plumber Fortitude Valley, Plumber Albion, Plumber Alderley, Plumber Annerley, Plumber Ascot, Plumber Ashgrove, Plumber Aspley, Plumber Auchenflower, Plumber Balmoral, Plumber Banks Creek, Plumber Anstead, Plumber Bald Hills, Plumber Banyo, Plumber Bardon, Plumber Belmont, Plumber Boondall, Plumber Bowen Hills, Plumber Bracken Ridge, Plumber Bridgeman Downs, Plumber Brighton, Plumber Brisbane Airport, Plumber Brisbane City, Plumber Brookfield, Plumber Bulimba, Plumber Carina, Plumber Carseldine,Plumber Chandler, Plumber Chapel Hill, Plumber Chelmer, Plumber Chermside, Plumber Chermside West, Plumber Clayfield, Plumber Coorparoo, Plumber Corinda, Plumber Deagon, Plumber Dutton Park, Plumber Enoggera, Plumber Everton Park, , Plumber East Brisbane, Plumber Ferny Grove, Plumber Fitzgibbon, Plumber Geebung, Plumber Gordon Park, Plumber Graceville, Plumber Grange, Plumber Greenslopes, Plumber Gumdale, Plumber Hamilton, Plumber Hawthorne, Plumber Heathwood, Plumber Hemmant, Plumber Hendra, Plumber Herston, Plumber Highgate Hill, Plumber Holland Park, Plumber Holland Park West, Plumber Inala, Plumber Indooroopilly, Plumber Jamboree Heights, Plumber Jindale, Plumber Kangaroo Point, Plumber Karana Downs, Plumber Karawatha, Plumber Kedron, Plumber Kelvin Grove, Plumber Acacia Ridge, Plumber Algester, Plumber Archerfield, Plumber Burbank, Plumber Calamvale, Plumber Camp Hill, Plumber Cooper Plains, Plumber Cannon Hill, Plumber Carina Heights, Plumber Carindale, Plumber Doolandella, Plumber Drewvale, Plumber Durack, Plumber Eight Mile Plains, Plumber Ellen Grove, Plumber Fairfield, Plumber Forest Lake, Plumber Gaythorne, Plumber Kenmore, Plumber Kuraby, Plumber Larapinta, Plumber Lutwyche, Plumber Lytton, Plumber Logan City, Plumber Macgregor, Plumber Mackenzie, Plumber Manly, Plumber Mansfield, Plumber Middle Park, Plumber Milton, Plumber Moggill, Plumber Moorooka, Plumber Morningside, Plumber Mount Gravatt, Plumber Mt Ommaney, Plumber Murarrie, Plumber Nathan, Plumber New Farm, Plumber Newmarket, Plumber Newstead, Plumber Norman Park, Plumber Northgate, Plumber Nudgee, Plumber Nundah, Plumber Oxley, Plumber Paddington, Plumber Pallara, Plumber Parkinson, Plumber Ransome, Plumber Redhill, Plumber Richlands, Plumber Riverhills, Plumber Robertson, Plumber Rochedale

[thekirstenkhaye]

The Chaos (1922)

by  Gerard Nolst Trenité

Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation, I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse. I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy; Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear; Queer, fair seer, hear my prayer. Pray, console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it! Just compare heart, hear and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word. Sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter how it's written). Made has not the sound of bade, Say-said, pay-paid, laid but plaid. Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague, But be careful how you speak, Say: gush, bush, steak, streak, break, bleak , Previous, precious, fuchsia, via Recipe, pipe, studding-sail, choir; Woven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe. Say, expecting fraud and trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore, Branch, ranch, measles, topsails, aisles, Missiles, similes, reviles. Wholly, holly, signal, signing, Same, examining, but mining, Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far. From "desire": desirable-admirable from "admire", Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier, Topsham, brougham, renown, but known, Knowledge, done, lone, gone, none, tone, One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel. Gertrude, German, wind and wind, Beau, kind, kindred, queue, mankind, Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, Reading, Reading, heathen, heather. This phonetic labyrinth Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth. Have you ever yet endeavoured To pronounce revered and severed, Demon, lemon, ghoul, foul, soul, Peter, petrol and patrol? Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which exactly rhymes with khaki. Discount, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward, Ricocheted and crocheting, croquet? Right! Your pronunciation's OK. Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Is your r correct in higher? Keats asserts it rhymes Thalia. Hugh, but hug, and hood, but hoot, Buoyant, minute, but minute. Say abscission with precision, Now: position and transition; Would it tally with my rhyme If I mentioned paradigm? Twopence, threepence, tease are easy, But cease, crease, grease and greasy? Cornice, nice, valise, revise, Rabies, but lullabies. Of such puzzling words as nauseous, Rhyming well with cautious, tortious, You'll envelop lists, I hope, In a linen envelope. Would you like some more? You'll have it! Affidavit, David, davit. To abjure, to perjure. Sheik Does not sound like Czech but ache. Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed but vowed. Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover. Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, Chalice, but police and lice, Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, penal, and canal, Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal, Suit, suite, ruin. Circuit, conduit Rhyme with "shirk it" and "beyond it", But it is not hard to tell Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall. Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, Timber, climber, bullion, lion, Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor, Ivy, privy, famous; clamour Has the a of drachm and hammer. Pussy, hussy and possess, Desert, but desert, address. Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants Hoist in lieu of flags left pennants. Courier, courtier, tomb, bomb, comb, Cow, but Cowper, some and home. "Solder, soldier! Blood is thicker", Quoth he, "than liqueur or liquor", Making, it is sad but true, In bravado, much ado. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Pilot, pivot, gaunt, but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant. Arsenic, specific, scenic, Relic, rhetoric, hygienic. Gooseberry, goose, and close, but close, Paradise, rise, rose, and dose. Say inveigh, neigh, but inveigle, Make the latter rhyme with eagle. Mind! Meandering but mean, Valentine and magazine. And I bet you, dear, a penny, You say mani-(fold) like many, Which is wrong. Say rapier, pier, Tier (one who ties), but tier. Arch, archangel; pray, does erring Rhyme with herring or with stirring? Prison, bison, treasure trove, Treason, hover, cover, cove, Perseverance, severance. Ribald Rhymes (but piebald doesn't) with nibbled. Phaeton, paean, gnat, ghat, gnaw, Lien, psychic, shone, bone, pshaw. Don't be down, my own, but rough it, And distinguish buffet, buffet; Brood, stood, roof, rook, school, wool, boon, Worcester, Boleyn, to impugn. Say in sounds correct and sterling Hearse, hear, hearken, year and yearling. Evil, devil, mezzotint, Mind the z! (A gentle hint.) Now you need not pay attention To such sounds as I don't mention, Sounds like pores, pause, pours and paws, Rhyming with the pronoun yours; Nor are proper names included, Though I often heard, as you did, Funny rhymes to unicorn, Yes, you know them, Vaughan and Strachan. No, my maiden, coy and comely, I don't want to speak of Cholmondeley. No. Yet Froude compared with proud Is no better than McLeod. But mind trivial and vial, Tripod, menial, denial, Troll and trolley, realm and ream, Schedule, mischief, schism, and scheme. Argil, gill, Argyll, gill. Surely May be made to rhyme with Raleigh, But you're not supposed to say Piquet rhymes with sobriquet. Had this invalid invalid Worthless documents? How pallid, How uncouth he, couchant, looked, When for Portsmouth I had booked! Zeus, Thebes, Thales, Aphrodite, Paramour, enamoured, flighty, Episodes, antipodes, Acquiesce, and obsequies. Please don't monkey with the geyser, Don't peel 'taters with my razor, Rather say in accents pure: Nature, stature and mature. Pious, impious, limb, climb, glumly, Worsted, worsted, crumbly, dumbly, Conquer, conquest, vase, phase, fan, Wan, sedan and artisan. The th will surely trouble you More than r, ch or w. Say then these phonetic gems: Thomas, thyme, Theresa, Thames. Thompson, Chatham, Waltham, Streatham, There are more but I forget 'em- Wait! I've got it: Anthony, Lighten your anxiety. The archaic word albeit Does not rhyme with eight-you see it; With and forthwith, one has voice, One has not, you make your choice. Shoes, goes, does *. Now first say: finger; Then say: singer, ginger, linger. Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, age, Hero, heron, query, very, Parry, tarry fury, bury, Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth, Job, Job, blossom, bosom, oath. Faugh, oppugnant, keen oppugners, Bowing, bowing, banjo-tuners Holm you know, but noes, canoes, Puisne, truism, use, to use? Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual, Seat, sweat, chaste, caste, Leigh, eight, height, Put, nut, granite, and unite. Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late, Hint, pint, senate, but sedate. Gaelic, Arabic, pacific, Science, conscience, scientific; Tour, but our, dour, succour, four, Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Say manoeuvre, yacht and vomit, Next omit, which differs from it Bona fide, alibi Gyrate, dowry and awry. Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean, Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion, Rally with ally; yea, ye, Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay! Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, receiver. Never guess-it is not safe, We say calves, valves, half, but Ralf. Starry, granary, canary, Crevice, but device, and eyrie, Face, but preface, then grimace, Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. Bass, large, target, gin, give, verging, Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging; Ear, but earn; and ere and tear Do not rhyme with here but heir. Mind the o of off and often Which may be pronounced as orphan, With the sound of saw and sauce; Also soft, lost, cloth and cross. Pudding, puddle, putting. Putting? Yes: at golf it rhymes with shutting. Respite, spite, consent, resent. Liable, but Parliament. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen, Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk, Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work. A of valour, vapid vapour, S of news (compare newspaper), G of gibbet, gibbon, gist, I of antichrist and grist, Differ like diverse and divers, Rivers, strivers, shivers, fivers. Once, but nonce, toll, doll, but roll, Polish, Polish, poll and poll. Pronunciation-think of Psyche!- Is a paling, stout and spiky. Won't it make you lose your wits Writing groats and saying "grits"? It's a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones like rowlock, gunwale, Islington, and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Don't you think so, reader, rather, Saying lather, bather, father? Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough?? Hiccough has the sound of sup... My advice is: GIVE IT UP!

[cromulentenough]

The Chaos (by G. Nolst Trenité, a.k.a. "Charivarius"; 1870 - 1946)

Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation,

I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse

I will keep you, Susy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye your dress you'll tear, So shall I! Oh, hear my prayer,

Pray, console your loving poet, Make my coat look new, dear, sew it!

Just compare heart, beard and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written).

Made has not the sound of bade, Say said, pay-paid, laid, but plaid.

Now I surely will not plague you With such words as vague and ague,

But be careful how you speak, Say break, steak, but bleak and streak.

Previous, precious, fuchsia, via, Pipe, snipe, recipe and choir,

Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore,

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles. Exiles, similes, reviles.

Wholly, holly, signal, signing. Thames, examining, combining

Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war, and far.

From "desire": desirable--admirable from "admire." Lumber, plumber, bier, but brier.

Chatham, brougham, renown, but known. Knowledge, done, but gone and tone,

One, anemone. Balmoral. Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel,

Gertrude, German, wind, and mind. Scene, Melpomene, mankind,

Tortoise, turquoise, chamois-leather, Reading, reading, heathen, heather.

This phonetic labyrinth Gives moss, gross, brook, brooch, ninth, plinth.

Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet;

Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would.

Banquet is not nearly parquet, Which is said to rime with "darky."

Viscous, Viscount, load, and broad. Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation's O.K., When you say correctly: croquet.

Rounded, wounded, grieve, and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive, and live,

Liberty, library, heave, and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven,

We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover,

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, Chalice, but police, and lice.

Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label,

Petal, penal, and canal, Wait, surmise, plait, promise, pal.

Suit, suite, ruin, circuit, conduit, Rime with "shirk it" and "beyond it."

But it is not hard to tell, Why it's pall, mall, but Pall Mall.

Muscle, muscular, gaol, iron, Timber, climber, bullion, lion,

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, and chair, Senator, spectator, mayor,

Ivy, privy, famous, clamour And enamour rime with hammer.

Pussy, hussy, and possess, Desert, but dessert, address.

Golf, wolf, countenance, lieutenants. Hoist, in lieu of flags, left pennants.

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home.

Stranger does not rime with anger. Neither does devour with clangour.

Soul, but foul and gaunt but aunt. Font, front, won't, want, grand, and grant.

Shoes, goes, does. Now first say: finger. And then: singer, ginger, linger,

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, age.

Query does not rime with very, Nor does fury sound like bury.

Dost, lost, post; and doth, cloth, loth; Job, Job; blossom, bosom, oath.

Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual.

Seat, sweat; chaste, caste.; Leigh, eight, height; Put, nut; granite, and unite.

Reefer does not rime with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

Dull, bull, Geoffrey, George, ate, late, Hint, pint, Senate, but sedate.

Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific,

Tour, but our and succour, four, Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria,

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean, Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye, Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay.

Say aver, but ever, fever. Neither, leisure, skein, receiver.

Never guess--it is not safe: We say calves, valves, half, but Ralph.

Heron, granary, canary, Crevice and device, and eyrie,

Face but preface, but efface, Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust, and scour, but scourging,

Ear but earn, and wear and bear Do not rime with here, but ere.

Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew, Stephen,

Monkey, donkey, clerk, and jerk, Asp, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation--think of psyche--! Is a paling, stout and spikey,

Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing "groats" and saying "grits"?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel, Strewn with stones, like rowlock, gunwale,

Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict, and indict!

Don't you think so, reader, rather, Saying lather, bather, father?

Finally: which rimes with "enough" Though, through, plough, cough, hough, or tough?

Hiccough has the sound of "cup." My advice is--give it up!

“Colonel” and “kernel” are pronounced the same.

[localizee]

We are your one-stop-shop for plumbing repairs, plumbing installation, boiler repairs & installations, and fixture fittings for your bathroom.

[conyersmooney]

Blueline Plumbers Gillingham

We provide premium plumbing services at affordable rates with high-quality results. We are your local all-in-one plumbing company in Gillingham that provides fast and reliable services for your plumbing & heating needs. We are your one-stop-shop for plumbing repairs, plumbing installation, boiler repairs & installations, and fixture fittings for your bathroom.

At Blueline Plumbers Gillingham we uphold our work quality to high standards to ensure that all our customers are satisfied with the completed job. Our Engineers are trained to provide high-quality workmanship to fix any of the plumbing issues you may be facing.

Blueline Plumbers Gillingham 124 Balmoral Rd Gillingham, ME7 4QR +441634218286 https://bluelineplumbersgillingham.co.uk https://www.google.com/maps?cid=2708676155623624028 https://blueline-plumbers-gillingham.business.site/