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dumblemonchickenwing · 3 years ago

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I made AI write a story again. with Rouxls Kaard and Lancer.

Patient Rouxls Kaard

A Short Story

Rouxls Kaard had always loved old-fashioned Chicago with its knowledgeable, knotty kettles. It was a place where he felt fuzzy.

He was a patient, energetic, tea drinker with greasy lips and wide feet. His friends saw him as a putrid, pretty painter. Once, he had even brought an unlawful injured bird back from the brink of death. That's the sort of man he was.

Rouxls walked over to the window and reflected on his quiet surroundings. The clouds danced like skipping flamingos.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Lancer . Lancer was a brave monster with feathery lips and vast feet.

Rouxls gulped. He was not prepared for Lancer.

As Rouxls stepped outside and Lancer came closer, he could see the light smile on his face.

Lancer gazed with the affection of 2278 giving decomposing donkeys. He said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want hug."

Rouxls looked back, even more sneezy and still fingering the ripped piano. "Lancer, exterminate," he replied.

They looked at each other with barmy feelings, like two fair, fancy frogs dancing at a very admirable Halloween party, which had classical music playing in the background and two tight-fisted uncles running to the beat.

Rouxls regarded Lancer's feathery lips and vast feet. "I feel the same way!" revealed Rouxls with a delighted grin.

Lancer looked sleepy, his emotions blushing like a shaggy, successful sandwich.

Then Lancer came inside for a nice cup of tea.

THE END

___________

2nd

Lancer and the Three Friendly Hamsters

A Fairy Tale

Once upon a time there was a courageous boy called Lancer . He was on the way to see his babysitter Rouxls Kaard, when he decided to take a short cut through Stinkville Forest.

It wasn't long before Lancer got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, Spike, but Spike was nowhere to be found! Lancer began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Spike. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.

Unexpectedly, he saw a friendly hamster dressed in a pink t-shirt disappearing into the trees.

"How odd!" thought Lancer.

For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed hamster. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.

Eventually, Lancer reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from lettuces, a house made from sweets, a house made from cakes and a house made from lollipops.

Lancer could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.

"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"

Nobody replied.

Lancer looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.

A cackle broke through the air, giving Lancer a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Spike!

"Spike!" shouted Lancer. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"

The witch just shrugged.

"Give Spike back!" cried Lancer.

"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.

"At least let Spike out of that cage!"

Before she could reply, three friendly hamsters rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Lancer recognised the one in the pink t-shirt that he'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.

"Hello Big Hamster," said the witch.

"Good morning." The hamster noticed Spike. "Who is this?"

"That's Spike," explained the witch.

"Ooh! Spike would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the hamster.

The witch shook her head. "Spike is staying with me."

"Um... Excuse me..." Lancer interrupted. "Spike lives with me! And not in a cage!"

Big Hamster ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.

The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."

Big Hamster looked at the house made from lollipops and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from lollipops if I wanted to."

"That's nothing," said the next hamster. "I could eat two houses."

"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Spike."

Lancer watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give Spike to Big Hamster. He didn't think Spike would like living with a friendly hamster, away from his house and all his other toys.

The other two hamsters watched while Big Hamster put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Hamster. "Just you watch!"

Big Hamster pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from sweets. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

And more.

Eventually, Big Hamster started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of sweets, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.

"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Hamster.

Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!

"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.

Big Hamster never finished eating the front door made from sweets and Spike remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Average Hamster stepped up, and approached the house made from cakes.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Hamster. "Just you watch!"

Average Hamster pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from cakes. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

And more.

After a while, Average Hamster started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...

...and greener.

A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.

"I'm not a bush, I'm a hamster!" said Average Hamster.

"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."

"No! Wait!" cried Average Hamster, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the hamster away under his arm.

Average Hamster never finished eating the front door made from cakes and Spike remained trapped in the witch's cage.

Little Hamster stepped up, and approached the house made from lollipops.

"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Hamster. "Just you watch!"

Little Hamster pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from lollipops. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.

And more.

After five or six platefuls, Little Hamster started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.

He stopped eating lollipops for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.

But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Hamster into the sky.

"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Hamster. "I'm scared of heigh..."

Little Hamster was never seen again.

Little Hamster never finished eating the front door made from lollipops and Spike remained trapped in the witch's cage.

"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Spike."

"Not so fast," said Lancer. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from lettuces. And I haven't had a turn yet.

"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."

The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."

"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the hamsters. He won't last long."

"I'll be right back," said Lancer.

"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Spike back."

Lancer ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from lettuces and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.

Lancer sat down on a nearby log.

"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."

"I haven't finished," explained Lancer. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."

When Lancer's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from lettuces. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.

Eventually, after several sittings, Lancer was down to the final piece of the door made from lettuces. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Lancer had eaten the entire front door of the house made from lettuces.

The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"

"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over Spike or I will chop your broomstick in half."

The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.

Lancer hurried over and grabbed Spike, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Spike was unharmed.

Lancer thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Rouxls. It was starting to get dark.

When Lancer got to Rouxls's house, his babysitter threw his arms around him.

"I was so worried!" cried Rouxls. "You are very late."

As Lancer described his day, he could tell that Rouxls didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.

"What's that?" asked Rouxls.

Lancer unwrapped a doorknob made from sweets. "Pudding!" he said.

Rouxls almost fell off his chair.

The End

#rouxls kaard #plot generator #lancer #deltarune #random #text #ai generated

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