#Please untranslate my bear

[skullzanta]

My brain randomly came up with this meme, I do not understand what the fuck it means, it just bullied me into making it exist. Please help me figure out what it means.

[otomehonyaku]

DIABOLIK LOVERS Haunted Dark Bridal ☽ Anime Kuji Prize B Drama CD 2 Translation ☽ Teddy in the Pool (Kanato, Laito, Subaru)

Original title: Teddy in the Pool Voiced by Kaji Yūki (Kanato), Hirakawa Daisuke (Laito), Kondo Takashi (Subaru) English translation by @otomehonyaku Click here for the audio (special thanks to @uzi-boozii for providing the audio!)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

This is the second to last CD from @uzi-boozii's rare untranslated drama CD playlist! It's a nice and short one, and it features plenty of brotherly banter between two of the triplets and the Sakamaki's youngest ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ Subaru is actually way too sweet aw... I hope you enjoy listening and reading along!

Please do not reuse or post my translations elsewhere or translate my work into other languages without my permission.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

00:00 Subaru: Ugh, shit’s wearing me out… Why do I have to do homework on a day off? But repeating a year—like a certain someone in this house—would suck just as much… Oh? 

[Subaru notices the sound of air being pumped into something.]

Laito: C’mon, Kanato, you were the one who brought it up. You do it!

Kanato: I refuse. Why should I do such a thing?

Laito: Oh, don’t knock it ‘til you try it! Just step on it with your foot.

Kanato: I told you I won’t do it.

Laito: It’s alright, come on!

Subaru: Laito and Kanato? What’re they doin’?

Laito: Oh, it’s Subaru!

Kanato: You came at the perfect time, Subaru.

Subaru: Ah? The perfect time? What’re you doing? Huh? What’s that floppy thing by your feet?

Laito: It’s an inflatable pool.

Subaru: What?

Laito: I told you, it’s an inflatable pool!

Kanato: Are you deaf, Subaru? Heh. I feel bad for him. Don’t you, Teddy? Or his brain is just incapable of understanding simple sentences. Hehe.

Subaru: Hey, you know I can hear you. Really, though. Why’re you inflating it?

Laito: I was looking for something in my closet and I just happened to find it. And then Kanato was like, “It would be perfect for Teddy to play in.” So that’s why I’m inflating it right now.

Kanato: Teddy sometimes tells me he’d like to play in a pool. So, Subaru—please help inflate it.

02:05 Subaru: Alright, alright. Wait, what?! Why me?

Laito: Nice one, Kanato! Here, Subaru. Step on the pedal.

Subaru: Huh?! Why should I? He’s the one who wants to play with his teddy bear.

Kanato: Teddy… Subaru is saying such mean things. Why are you all bullying me?

[Kanato starts crying.]

Laito: Ah, Kanato started crying. Well, that was to be expected. Subaru, help your brother out!

Subaru: Hey, what the fuck? I’ve got nothing to do with this.

Laito: You do, actually. You’re the one who made Kanato cry, after all.

Subaru: That’s… He’s fake crying like he always does.

Kanato: Teddy… was looking forward to going in the pool so much… And now he won’t even get to know what it’s like because of Subaru.

Subaru: God damn it, you assholes… 

Laito: C’mon now, don’t get angry and start pumping, Subaru!

Subaru: Who gives you the right—!

Kanato: You wanted to play in the pool so badly, didn’t you, Teddy?

Laito: He’ll quiet down too if you just help inflating the pool. Just try!

Subaru: Ugh… 

[Subaru reluctantly starts pumping.]

Subaru: Is this alright?

Laito: Yeah, yeah! Keep going like that! You can do it! It’s pretty cute that you’re swayed so easily, Subaru.

Kanato: Life must be a breeze for someone so simple-minded.

Subaru: What? D’you say something?

Laito: Nothing at all!

04:21 [Subaru has finished inflating the pool. He’s a little out of breath.]

Laito: Great job! Now, we just have to fill it with water.

Subaru: What?! Hey, wait a second. You’re not going to fill it with water here, are you?

Laito: Huh? We are.

Subaru: This is the living room. If the water goes everywhere—

Kanato: Going into an inflatable pool outside is unthinkable. Wouldn’t you feel bad for Teddy?

Subaru: Isn’t it pretty unthinkable to play in a pool with your fucking plushie? Everything'll get soaked if you do it here. Reiji would lose his goddamn mind, which would be even more troublesome.

Kanato: That means we’ll just not have to spill anything.

Laito: Even if you only spill a little, it’s probably fine. Hey, Subaru. Do you know where the water hose is?

Subaru: Tch. Whatever happens is none of my business.

[Subaru goes off to find the water hose.]

Laito: Hmm… Subaru is so pliable that it actually worries me a little.

Kanato: I don’t particularly like Subaru. Anyway, I’ve gotten hungry. 

[Subaru returns with the hose.]

Subaru: Hey. Is this hose good enough?

Kanato: You’re late. What are you thinking, making me wait for so long?

Subaru: What? First you make me do errands and then you still yell at me?

Kanato: I’m hungry because you were dawdling. Are there any sweets around here?

Laito: Hey, now, Kanato. There are some cookies on the table, so dig in! And as for the water… It’s probably easiest to get water from the tap in the kitchen. I’ll connect the hose to the tap and turn on the water, so keep an eye on the pool, will you, Subaru?

06:18 Subaru: Hey, why me?!

Laito: Just give me a signal when it’s okay to turn on the water, alright?

Subaru: Ah, fuck. Now I gotta stick through to the end as well?

Laito: Hehe. You’re so reliable.

[Laito goes to the kitchen.]

Subaru: Hey, Kanato. What’s that warped part over—hey, what are you eating?

Kanato: I told you I was hungry. Didn’t you hear that either?

Subaru: I fucking heard! Tch, I’m doing this for you, so help me out a little!

Kanato: Don’t order me around. I’m in a bad mood.

Subaru: You asshole—

Laito (from the kitchen): Subaru! I’m all ready over here!

Subaru: Ah… I’m ready too!

[Laito turns on the tap and the pool starts to fill with water.]

Laito (from the kitchen): Is the water coming out?

Subaru: Yeah, it is, but the water pressure’s a little low. Can’t you open the tap a bit more?

Laito (from the kitchen): What? It’s almost all the way open, though.

Subaru: It’s barely coming out at all! I need more!

Laito (from the kitchen): Alright!

Subaru: That’s strange… Is the hose blocked or something? Oh!

[Subaru turns the hose upwards to check. Laito subsequently opens the tap all the way and the water sprays all over Subaru, Kanato and Teddy.]

Kanato: What’s this? It’s cold! What’s the meaning of this, Subaru? Now Teddy and I are soaked!

Subaru: Like hell I know! Hey, Laito, close the tap!

08:10 Laito (from the kitchen): Huh? What? Did something happen?

[Laito walks back into the room.]

Laito: Hahaha! You’re both drenched! Did you just shower or something? Haha.

Subaru: Don’t you dare laugh.

Kanato: I’m cold. This is the worst.

Subaru: Hold up, that’s my line… Achoo!

Kanato: Besides, why is the water (1) cold? Did you intend on giving me a cold shower? You’re awful. I can’t believe this!

Subaru: Ugh… You were talking about playing in the pool (2), so…

Kanato: Go to hell! What would you do if we caught a cold?!

Laito: Ah, I see. I’ve got a great idea! If we just add scalding hot water (3) to the cold water, then it’ll be the perfect temperature to take a bath in.

Subaru: Hold on… If you fuck it up again, this’ll turn into an even bigger disaster.

Laito: It’ll be okay! So long as you don’t let go of the hose, you’ll be alright no matter how hot the water is! Well, I’m counting on you!

[Laito goes back to the kitchen.]

Subaru: Why’ve I been the one with the most important tasks this entire time?

Kanato: If you mess this up again like you did last time, I won’t forgive you. Teddy’s so cold he’s close to freezing. Just hurry up and do it.

Subaru: Then you hold the hose!

Kanato: I don’t want to. What if I get burns?

Laito (from the kitchen): Here it comes!

[The water starts running again.]

10:02 Subaru: Ah, it looks like it’s coming out normally this time. Oh? Hey, Laito! Don’t make the water hotter now! I’m serious!

Laito (from the kitchen): Huh? Subaru, are you saying I need to turn up the heat?

Subaru: No, no! Hey, it’s way too hot! I’ll kill you! Ah… What—Ow, ow! Hey, Laito! Turn off that fucking water!

[Kanato laughs in the background while Subaru struggles. The scene shifts to Kanato playing in the pool with Teddy.]

Kanato: Hehe. Teddy, does it feel nice? It does, doesn’t it?

Laito: I’m glad, Kanato. That was fun!

Subaru: You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Kanato: Why did you get angry at me, Subaru? If only you’d held the hose tighter, Teddy and I wouldn’t have gotten soaked. You should take responsibility for your mistakes.

Subaru: Heh. Right, sorry. Ah, I’m exhausted. I’m gonna go change clothes…

Laito: Hey… isn’t the pool slowly deflating?

Subaru: What?

Kanato: Now that you say it, I think I’ve heard the sound of air escaping for a little while now…

Subaru: Ah! The air valve wasn’t closed properly! The water’ll spill out at this rate!

Laito: Sounds like we’re in a bit of a pinch. Hehe. Well, then. Subaru. Good luck!

Subaru: H-Ha… You’re going to make me inflate it again?

Laito: Yeah! If you don’t hurry, the floor will be ruined. Don’t want Reiji to barge in and lose his mind, do you?

Kanato: Subaru, hurry up and do it! 

Subaru: Ugh—fuck!

[Subaru starts wildly pumping.]

Laito: Ah, this pool would do great as a foot bath as well…

Kanato: Please don’t put your feet in the water while Teddy is in the pool.

Laito: What? It wouldn’t be so bad, would it?

Subaru: God damn it, you two! Help me, for fuck’s sake!

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

水（みず）refers to water in general, but this word is commonly associated with cold water in particular! お湯（ゆ）is used when referring to warm or hot water.

水遊（みずあそ）び refers to playing in or with water, typically in the pool, a lake, or in the sea—which, as the first kanji suggests, usually involves cold water.

お湯（ゆ）refers to warm or hot water like I said, hehe.

[fan-wen-han-meng]

Lyrics of 《清风叹》 and English Song Translation

Lyrics by: 请君莫笑 Please Don't Laugh

Composed by: 墨虎蔷薇

Arranged by: 小寒

Sung by: 清雪梨晨

Video link to full audio-only soundtrack here and a Vietnamese fan translation with subs here.

Full untranslated lyrics is taken from this Baidu article here.

Disclaimer: This is just a rough translation by a fan. Other interpretations are welcome. I own nothing except for the translation.

《清风叹》 The Cool Wind Sighs

你听，是风

You hear, the wind,

它说，它说

It says, it says,

这里，曾经

Right here, there was,

牛羊啊，遍地

Cattle and sheep, over the land.

为何，为何

How could, how could,

如今此地，青草稀?

Today this place, green grass turns sparse?

牛羊啊，今安在

Cattle and sheep, still remain safe,

牧羊人，何所依

But their shepherds, where did they stay?

少年问，为何妄语

A young one asks, why would you lie,

万仞千雉城，非朝夕可成

A city of thousands can’t be built overnight.

风不语，似叹息

The wind doesn’t speak, almost sighing,

呜咽声起

A quiet weep growing louder.

清风叹，何曾妄语

The cool wind sighs, when did I ever lie,

我自交寒岁，无愧天地

I gave myself to a life of coldness, unashamed of heaven and earth.

自有故国人

I have past countrymen,

为我作证，刻骨铭心

Bearing witness for me, carving deep into my heart.

清风，它说

Cool wind, it says,

请君轻踏埋骨地

Please lightly tread before this graveyard,

江山易，故人离

Rivers and mountains move, but loved ones are lost,

泾渭合，无间起

Jing and Wei together, only hell will rise.

少年问，为何妄语

A young one asks, why would you lie,

袅袅炊烟起，安有萋萋

Smoke rises from the kitchen, peace is luxuriant.

风不语，似叹息

The wind doesn’t speak, almost sighing,

呜咽声起

A quiet weep growing louder.

清风叹，何曾妄语

The cool wind sighs, when did I ever lie,

我自交寒岁，无愧天地

I gave myself to a life of coldness, unashamed of heaven and earth.

自有故国人

I have past countrymen,

为我作证，刻骨铭心

Bearing witness for me, carving deep into my heart.

清风渐远去

The cool breeze gradually blew far,

似故非故，如幻如虚

Like a passing thought, as if nothing happens.

[twotwinks]

p3 and M, I, N, A, T, O :)

this made me smile so much it's so smart i love you

M - Say something genuinely nice about a ship that you don’t ship (or its shippers, or anything related to you)

while i may not be into it, i will say the ryominas popped off with the aesthetics. everything that i've ever seen for those two absolutely fucks, even the sweet fluffy stuff that isn't meant to look cool is so chef's kiss thematically. if i were to ship them i'd be eating good

I - Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why

.....that being said, ryomina also happens to be one of the very few tags i have blacklisted on tumblr dskhld the ryominas are just too prolific. every other p3 post i see is about these bitches (affectionate) i see cool art of minato and thanatos and think ooh this fucks and then i see the tags and discover that it's also meant to be ryomina and i'm like aw man. Every Time!

also unrelated to p3 but ace attorney

N - Name three things you wish you saw more of in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

minato's hair drawn correctly (i.e. not symmetrical or so aggressively parted that you can't tell it's supposed to be hanging over his eye)

the protagonists together! i see a lot of matching art of them but i don't really see them actually being together often. i love to see them all hanging out i think they should all be bestest friends. as an extension of this, i also want to see more bankita of course. and more specifically of minato and minako together, especially as twins because that's my jam

more art of minato and thanatos that isn't meant to be ryomina akjds i don't say this to be hostile i just think thanatos's design fucks and i want to be able to interact with art of him without encroaching into a space i don't belong

A - Your current OTP(s)/OT3(s)/OTX(s)

bankita! bankita forever raaaaaah! they make me craaaaazy send help. i think i've probably already said everything i need to say about them multiple times over but i just really like them a whole lot. i've even started to drift away from souyo, which was my main ship involving yu, in favor of this one. it's also my only ship involving minato who is my favorite so i guess it gets priority dfkljhd

i'm also quite fond of akishinji, and it's even better if you throw minako in the mix! it's not an ot3 i was expecting to have, but her romance routes with both of them are really sweet and i already shipped them together, so. i was happy to find that there's at least a few other people out there who ship them too!

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending, about anything at all (gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, extended family, sexual preferences like top/bottom/switch, relationship with poetry, seriously anything)

i'm not really aggressive about my headcanons dhkld they're headcanons for a reason. that being said i guess i did try to start a fight with p3re's first cutscene for making a minor change to minato's reaction to the dark hour which didn't work as well with my headcanon that he believes the dark hour to be a series of hallucinations and nightmares. he does actually have recurring nightmares too, the dark hour just doesn't happen to be one of them. i'm writing a whole fic about this, please wait warmly.

O - Choose a song at random, which ship or character does it remind you of

this one's mean. do i like put my spotify on shuffle or what.

untranslated liz triangle song...a minute-long reprise from a musical...an instrumental from a different musical...sappy country song that i could probably apply to a ship but is too generic to hit right...greensleeves...oh alright here we go

this one isn't quite as perfect as some other kairiki bear songs like heart nonsense and batten but i will say it's very baby minato core. to me. i dunno i think a lot about how none of his relatives ever wanted to keep him for very long and what that must have been like for him as a little kid. more thoughts about this will also appear in the aforementioned fic!

[medacarpyl]

I dont know if this has been asked before but what are your favorite vns?

*cackling evily* Anon, you just gave me an opportunity to proselytize. This is going under a cut. Also, please do keep in mind: I've been playing visual novels for close to two decades now, you're getting a handful of favorite VNs with justifications as to why they're some of my favorites lol

So, to start: SubaHibi is one of my favorite VNs ever. If you couldn't tell this by looking at my profile, I don't know what to tell you. I could wax poetic about it for ages, but long story short, I loved the writing style and how well it managed to set the tone and mood, and set the tension, and manage to keep that tension up (or dispell it, as the scene needed). It's one of the few VNs that's made me cry at multiple points throughout the VN. There's only a few

I'm also just a denpa fan in general? So I really loved Sayonara o Oshiete as well. I like stories that deal a lot with the cycle of abuse and trauma, and I think much like SubaHibi, it managed to set a good tone and tension. The visual art for it is absolutely stunning, even two decades later, and it has an almost timeless quality to the beauty. Also, the music was amazing. Don't get me wrong, I think the ending could have been better, but I disagree heavily with the people who think it brought SayoOshi down completely. I personally saw it coming from a mile away, and while I find the "omg protag was insane ALL ALONG" trope to be tiring as both a system and a delusion-haver, I think if there's enough foreshadowing and justification in canon, it can be pulled off at least semi-decently, and that is my cross to bear. I think SayoOshi pulled it off!

Hatoful Boyfriend and Holiday Star are two of the best visual novels I have ever played. No spoilers, because I feel the first game works better if you don't know the twist, but please play Hatoful Boyfriend, including the True route. This is not irony, or joking, or exaggeration, not even a little bit. Please, god, just play it.

I played Saya No Uta when I was far too young to be playing it, somewhere around middle school. I shouldn't have been playing it then, however, it heavily shaped my tastes in VNs. It does a wonderful job at giving an absolutely unsettling atmosphere, and it's absolutely grotesque yet deeply gorgeous, especially in some of the descriptions. The OST remains one of my favorites, as well. It isn't quite denpa, but it absolutely helped introduce me to denpa as a genre. Also, I played it pretty soon after a traumatic car accident, which probably didn't hurt.

I played Sweet Pool for the first time around the same time I played Saya No Uta, and a lot of what I said about Saya No Uta applies to Sweet Pool as well. VLG is still one of my favorite VN songs ever lol

Look, man, I know I shouldn't have gotten deeply into guro in middle school, but... My first visual novel I played with intent to play a visual novel was Absolute Obedience at around age 10, which is how I learned to change locale, download an untranslated visual novel, download a patch, and troubleshoot the game itself, because my parents were divorcing and I had a complicated relationship with gender and didn't know what to do about it other than look at boys kissing. At a certain point, you should just expect that I would get into edgier VNs, y'know? Anyways, this was a tangent, but despite being aggressively mid, I do have a soft spot for Absolute Obedience. I wouldn't recommend playing it, but... I guess it does remain one of my favorites?

Last, but not least, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. It was my gateway into visual novels, and the first game I ever played without needing a walkthrough. It still remains one of the best satires of the justice system, and even after two decades, I think it still holds up quite well! Regardless of what VNDB says, I believe it is a visual novel, even if it doesn't fit their narrow definitions of what counts. I mean, come on, they have HOMESTUCK listed as a visual novel, why do they need a disclaimer for Phoenix Wright? Anyways, side tangent over!

Looking through this, I'm starting to suspect my favorite visual novels say something about me as a person. I'm going to choose to ignore that!

[baeddel]

Please. Please can you tell me what a baeddel is and why people (terfs?) used it in a derogatory manner on this website for a hot minute but now no one ever uses it at all

you asked for it, fucker

[2k words; philology and drama]

baeddel is an Old English word. i have no idea where it actually occurs in the Old English written corpus, but it occurs in a few placenames. its diminuitive form, baedling, is much better documented. it appears in the (untranslated) Canons of Theodore, a penitential handbook, a sort of guidebook for priests offering advice on what penances should be recommended for which sins. in a passage devoted to sexual transgressions it gives the penances suggested for a man who sleeps with a woman, a man who sleeps with another man, and then a man who sleeps with a baedling. so you have this construction of a baedling as something other than a man or a woman. and then it gives the penance for a baedling who sleeps with another baedling (a ludicrous one-year fast). then, by way of an explaination, Theodore delivers us one of the most enigmatic phrases in the Old English corpus: "for she is soft, like an adulturess."

the -ling suffix in baedling is masculine. but Theodore uses feminine pronouns and suffixes to describe baedlings. as we said, it's also used separately from male and female. but it's also used separately from their words for intersex and it never appears in this context. all of this means that you have this word that denotes a subject who is, as Christopher Monk put it, "of problematic gender." interested historians have typically interpreted it as referring to some category of homosexual male, such as Wayne R. Dines in his two-volume Encyclopedia of Homosexuality who discusses it in the context of an Old English glossary which works a bit like an Old English-Latin dictionary, giving Old English words and their Latin counterparts. the Latin words the Anglo-Saxon lexicographer chose to correspond with baedling were effeminatus and mollis, and Lang concludes that it refers to an "effeminate homosexual" (pg 60, Anglo Saxon). this same glossary gives as an Old English synonym the word waepenwifstere which literally means "woman with a penis," and which Dines gives the approximate translation (hold on tight) male wife.

R. D. Fulk, a philologist and medievalist, made a separate analysis of the term in his study on the Canons of Theodore 'Male Homoeroticism in the Old English Canons of Theodore', collected in Sex and Sexuality in Medieval England, 2004. he analysed it as a 'sexual category' (sexual as in sexuality), owing to the context of sexual transgressions in the Canons. he decides that it refers to a man who bottoms in sexual relationships with another man. i don't have the article on hand so i'm not sure what his reasoning was, but this seems obviously inadequate given what we know from the glossary described by Dines. Latin has a word for bottom, pathica, and the lexicographer did not use this in their translation, preferring words that emphasized the baedling's femininity like effeminatus, and doesn't address the sexual context at all. Dines, however, only reading this glossary, seems to decide that it refers to a type of male homosexual too hastily, considering the Canons explicitly treat them separately. both Dines and Fulk immediately reduce the baedling to a subcategory of homosexual when neither of the sources to hand actually do so themselves.

by now it should be obvious why, seven or so years ago, we interpreted it as an equivalent to trans woman. I mean come on - a woman with a penis! these days I tend to add a bit of a caution to this understanding, which is that trans woman is the translation of baedling which seems most adequate to us, just as baedling was the translation of effeminatus that seemed most adequate to our lexicographer. but the term cannot translate perfectly; its sense was derived from some minimal context; a legal context, a doctrinal context, and so forth... the way Anglo-Saxons understood sex/gender is complicated but it has been argued that they had a 'one sex model' and didn't regard men and women as biologically separate types, which is obviously quite different from the sexual model accepted today; in any case they didn't have access to the karyotype and so on. the basic categories they used to understand gender and sexuality were different from ours. in particular, Hirschfield et al. should be understood as a particularly revolutionary moment in the genealogy of transsexuality; the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft essentially invented the concept of the 'sex change', the 'transition', conceived as a biological passage from one sex to the other. even in other contexts where (forgive me) #girlslikeus changed their bodies in some way, like the castration of the priestesses of Cybele, or those belonging to the various historical societies which we believe used premarin for feminization [disputed; see this post], there is no record that they were ever considered men at any stage or had some kind of male biology that preceded their 'gender identity.' the concept of the trans woman requires the minimal context of the coercive assignment at birth and its subsequent (civil and bio-technological) rejection. i have never encountered evidence that this has ever been true in any previous society. nonetheless, these societies still had gendered relations, and essentially wherever we find these gendered relations we also find some subject which is omitted or for whom it has been necessary to note exceptions. what is of chief interest to us is not so much that there was such a subject here or there in history (and whatever propagandistic uses this fact might have), but understanding why these regularities exist.

a very parsimonious explanation is that gender is a biological reality, and there is some particular biological subject which a whole host of words have been conjured to denote. if this were the case then we would expect that, no matter what gender/sexual system we encounter in a given society, it will inevitably find some linguistic expression. if, like me, you find this idea revolting, then you should busy yourself trying to come up with an alternative explanation which is not just plausible, but more plausible. my best guesses are outside the scope of this answer...

anyway, all of this must be very interesting to the five or six people invested in the confluence of philology and gender studies. but why on earth did it become so widely used, in so many strange and unusual contexts, in the 2010s? we're very sorry, but yes, it's our fault. you see apart from all of this, there is also a little piece of information which goes along with the word baeddel, which is that it's the root of the Modern English word bad. by way of, no less, the word baedan, 'to defile'. how this defiled historical subject came to bear responsibility for everything bad to English-speakers doesn't seem to be known from linguistic evidence. however, it makes for a very pithy little remark on transmisogyny. my dear friend [REDACTED] made a playful little post making this point and, good Lord, had we only known...

it went like this. its such a funny little idea that we all start changing our urls to include the word baeddel. in those days it was common to make puns with your url (we always did halloween and christmas ones); i was baeddelaire, a play on the French poet Baudelaire. while we all still had these urls a series of events which everyone would like to forget happened, and we became Enemies of Everyone in the Whole World. because of the url thing people started to call us "the baeddels." then there was "a cult" called "the baeddels" and so forth. this cult had various infamies attatched to it and a constellation of indefensible political positions. ultimately we faced a metric fucking shit ton of harassment, including, for some of my friends, really serious and bad irl harassment that had long-term bad awful consequences relating to stable housing and physical safety and i basically never want to talk about that part of my life ever again. and i never have to, because i've come to realize that for most people, when they use the word baeddel, they don't know about that stuff. it doesn't mean that anymore.

so what does it mean? you'll see it in a few contexts. TERFs do use it, as you guessed. i am not quite sure what they really mean by it and how it differs from other TERF barbs. i think being a baeddel invovles being politically active or at least having a political consciousness, but in a way thats distinct from just any 'TRA' or trans activist. so perhaps 'militant' trans women, but perhaps also just any trans woman with any opinions at all. how this was transmitted from tumblr/west coast tranny drama to TERF vocabulary i have no idea. but you will also find - or, could have found a few years ago - i would say 'copycat' groups who didn't know us or what we believed but heard the rumours, and established their own (generously) organizations (usually facebook groups) dedicated to putting those principles into practice. they considered themselves trans lesbian separatists and did things like doxx and harass trans women who dated cafabs. if you don't know about this, yes, there really were such groups. they mostly collapsed and disappeared because they were evildoers who based their ideology on a caricature. i knew a black trans woman who was treated very badly by one of these groups, for predictable reasons. so long-time readers: if you see people talking about their bad experiences with 'baeddels', you can't necessarily relate it to the 2014 context and assume they're carrying around old baggage. there are other dreams in the nightmare.

the most common way you'll see it today, in my experience, is in this form: people will say that it was a "slur" for trans women. they might bring up that it's the root of the word bad, and they might even think that you shouldn't use the word bad because of it, or that you shouldn't use the word baeddel because it's a slur. all of this is a silly game of internet telephone and not worth addressing. except to say that it's by no means clear that baeddel, or baedling, were slurs, or even insulting at all. while Theodore doesn't provide us with a description of how we can have sex with a baedling without sinning, and it may be the case that any sexual relations with a baedling was considered sinful, sexuality-based transgressions were not taken all that seriously in those days. there was a period where homosexuality within the Church was almost sanctioned, and it wasn't until much later that homosexuality became so harshly proscribed, to the extent that it was thought to represent a threat to society, etc. and as i mentioned, there are places in England named after baedlings. there is a little parish near Kent which is called Badlesmere, Baeddel's Lake, which was recorded in the Anglo-Saxon Domesday Book (as having a lord, a handful of villagers and a few slaves; perhaps only one or two households). it's not unheard of, but i just don't know very many places called Faggot Town or some such. it's possible that baedlings had some role in Anglo-Saxon society which we are not aware of; it could even have been a prestigious one, as it was in other societies. there is just no evidence other than a couple of passing references in the literature and we'll probably never have a complete picture.

[strikerandoverachiever]

Michael Kaiser; Behind the Name and the Colour Blue

Part II

All right, so continuing on with my analysis that I got started with in part I, I will now be looking into the symbolism of the character’s family name “Kaiser” and any possible connections between it and the colour blue.

•

Kaiser

Ok, so, the very first thing to be mentioned is the translation; from German into English, it’s literally

Emperor .

Now, speaking in general terms, I understand that the above title was only used for rulers above the rank of king and when it is used in English, the untranslated word denotes an association with the emperors of the unified German Empire (1871–1918).

Also, The Holy Roman Emperors (962–1806) named themselves Kaiser, by combining the imperial title with that of King of the Romans (which the designated heir assumedd before the imperial coronation) in order to show that the rulers saw their reign as a continuation of that of the Roman Emperors and thus, used the title derived from the one of Caesar to reflect this supposed heritage. This is all fie to the fact that the word “Kaiser” is directly derived from the Roman emperors' title of Caesar, which can also be traced to the personal name of the Julii Caesares, a branch of the Julia clan, whose member Gaius Julius Caesar, the forebear of the Julio-Claudian dynasty, was a part of.

Another aspect that may be interesting to note is that in the Middle Ages, the name “Kaiser” was often attributed to individuals who played the part of "King" yearly in local plays and pageants.

•

Moving on to more modern times, I’ve also read that the word “Kaiser” can be used to reflect the ultimate highest increase, the best of its kind, which is why it is met in words such as Kaisersemmel ("Kaiser roll"), Kaiserfleisch ("Kaiser meat") or Kaisersuppe ("Kaiser soup"). Additionally, the title is used in the denomination for Kaiserjäger and Kaiserschützen, special elite units of the Imperial and Royal Austro-Hungarian Armed Forces, in the past.

In my opinion, it is also of special interest to note that Franz Beckenbauer, a German footballer active in the 1960s and 1970s, who captained West Germany to the 1974 World Cup title, was in fact nicknamed “Der Kaiser" (whether there is any correlation between this player and Blue Lock’s Kaiser, I do not know, though I may one day seek to discover whether indeed there may be more to this idea😉).

As for the corellation with the colour blue, that seems to perhaps lie in the German colloquial expression “Kaiserwetter” (Weather of the Emperor), which denotes sunny weather and a deep blue, cloudless sky.

•

That being said, I would expect for a character bearing such a name to be confident to the point of cocky (surely enough to tell others to kneel) and I feel the only 2 reasons why we haven’t heard him call everyone “peasants” is because:

1.Barou already did it;

2.he found something even worse to call his opponents by.

•

Now, on the plus side, what I would expect to see from a character with this name, is a display of the abilities required to lead others, to take charge, make important decisions at critical times and carry his men over obstacles and challenges, towards victory.

As for the character himself, while Kaiser does posses impressive physical prowess, evidenced by the fact that he is rank 1 in the German strata at the end of the abilities tests, as well as an impressive weapon, a mighty strong and unbelieveably fast direct kick, which even Noel Noa admits is better than his, whether he will be able to secure his team’s final victory at the end of the match against Spain’s FC Barcha, remains to be seen.

For the sources used here, please consult the below list:

• https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kaiser

•https://www.thoughtco.com/kaiser-surname-meaning-and-origin-4108796

[blackcloverdatabase]

English Translation of Novel 3: Chapter 2 – The Man Known as Julius (Part 1 of 2)

Here’s the first half of the last untranslated chapter from Book of Yuno! This one features Julius, Yuno, and Bell taking care of an orphaned baby boar. It’s adorable and also a little heartbreaking! Charlotte and Jack also get to meet the lil’ guy!

Also, aside from a few tweaks at the beginning, this translation is appended to the translation of the first few pages that the Black Clover discord was kind enough to supply to me. I didn’t see any translation errors when I scanned through it and I liked the writing style of whoever did those first few pages, so a part of this translation also comes from the generous soul who had started this translation before me. 

--- The Man Known as Julius (Part 1) ---

Julius Novachrono.

He is a man who needs no introduction, reigning over the Order of Magic Knights as the Wizard King. The entire Order moves at his command, protecting the peace of Clover Kingdom both day and night.

He himself possesses no small degree of combat ability, stationed at the top of the Order as he is, and he has led his troops to victory through countless battles. Even after ascending to his current position as the Wizard King, he continues to find his way to the battlefield, demonstrating impressive skills in all areas.

He is the hero of the Clover Kingdom, a source of inspiration for all Magic Knights – No, for all the Kingdom’s citizens.

That's just the sort of person Julius is.

And yet, despite all of that......

"All right, all right!! Sorry I'm late~ I brought plenty of feed for you!"

At this very moment, that inspirational figurehead to all the Kingdom was – Julius was…..

"C'mon, you gotta eat up! I got lotsa food for you! A ha ha! Now now, no shoving! Take your time!"

......grinning from ear to ear and speaking in baby-talk with a soft, sweet tone......

"Oh gosh, you're TOO cute! Seriously, you're way too cute, Graham! I feel like when I'm talking to you, my manner of speaking just becomes shamefully bad...... Well, whatever! Not like there's anyone else around to hear, huh?"

…….to a baby boar as he delivered its feed.

Staying hidden as he watched, Yuno managed to keep a straight face on the outside, but internally, he was shaking. Bell, clearly shaken as well, was thinking exactly the same thing as him: They weren’t quite sure what they were looking at, but they knew they had just witnessed something pretty damn crazy.

How did they stumble across such a crazy sight? Fret not, it won't take long to explain.

 That day, Yuno and Bell had been on patrol near the outskirts of Tonan, a town in the Common Realm. A group of bandits had been staging raids in the area as of late, and it was rumored that one of the bandits possessed an "Original Sin" grimoire. Thus, Magic Knights were being sent out in pairs to patrol the area in shifts.

Yuno and Bell found themselves on duty that day, and after finishing up their patrol with a Knight from another squad, they traded off with the pair who had come to relieve them and slipped away into a forest just a short walk from the town's borders.

They were here to train in preparation for the Royal Knights Selection Exam, which would be held a few days from now.

After the "hot springs training camp" put on by Mereoleona Vermillion (which was one heck of a euphemism for forced mountain climbing and attempted murder), Yuno had mastered "Mana Skin", the technique wherein the user continuously channels a fixed amount of magical energy and uses it to protect their body or increase their physical ability.

However, if he wanted to pass the Selection Exam, if he wanted to demonstrate his skill over Asta, he needed to take his abilities up another notch... no, another two notches if he could manage it.

And so, at every opportunity he could find between missions, Yuno slipped away in search of a secluded little enclave to train.

On this particular day, while on the hunt for a bit of privacy, he came across a hut standing beside a small pond. From the outside, it looked like a long-abandoned cabin, but the footprints he found near the entrance were fresh. Was this the bandits' hideout......? Only one way to find out. Taking care not to be noticed, Yuno silently approached the cabin.

However, it was then that he noticed a young boar with its body and legs wrapped in gauze. This, he found quite suspicious, but before he could move any closer to inspect, he caught sight of someone heading straight for the cabin using Flight Magic.

Panicking, Yuno dove into the bushes to hide, peeking out to see just who had arrived…...

"Gra~~~ham~~~ Were you a good little boy? Were you? Were you??"

Speaking in the most babyish voice Yuno had ever heard, it was none other than Julius Novachrono who came descending from the heavens. Upon landing, he approached the cabin, bearing feed for the boar, and removed his dirty bandages while stroking him gently......

 Which brings us back to the present.

 "Theeeeere there there! Now, let's get your bandages changed!"

Tearing their gazes from the sight of Julius letting loose with even more heinous baby talk, Yuno and Bell glanced at one another. Evidently, Julius was out here taking care of this boar. That much was obvious, but......

Bell dropped her voice, whispering softly to Yuno,

"…...Wh-what do we do, Yuno?"

"There's nothing for us to do," he returned shortly. "Because we didn't see anything, got it? Let's just head back."

That was best for all parties involved. Yuno had absolutely no desire to see Julius acting like that, and Julius probably wouldn't have wanted anyone to spot him out here either. Thankfully, Julius didn't seem to have noticed he was being watched, probably as much to do with the fact that Yuno had disguised their presence as the fact that Julius was absolutely enthralled with playing with the little boar and was paying little attention to his surroundings.

If he was going to make a break for it, it needed to be now. However, Bell leered with squinted eyes,

"...But, you know, that poor little thing really doesn't seem like he's enjoying the attention..."

This much Yuno could see. Actually, it was impossible not to notice. The little boar was squirming and squealing up a storm as Julius attempted to change his bandages, desperately attempting to flee. There was no mistaking that attitude as one of a fond pet.

"…...Neither one of us knows what's going on here. It's not our place to say anything."

"Yeah, I guess you're right…..."

"Plus......"

Yuno glanced back to Julius, who, despite the boar's fierce attempts to escape, was doing his best to see to its needs, and even looked happy doing so. Julius looked like he was having the time of his life, eyes bright with elation - just as he seemed to when he was talking about magic or chatting with the squad Captains he trusted so much. It was true that Yuno didn't want to get involved in whatever was going on here, but he also didn’t want to interrupt Julius when he was so utterly enthralled.

"Plus what?"

"Forget it. Let's go." With that, Yuno was about to stand up, but then......

"SQUEEEEEEAAAAAL!!"

The boar let out a particularly shrill scream, and Julius instantly drew back just as the boar released a huge burst of flame.

"W-what the heck is THAT?!"

"That boar...it must be a Flame Boar! They're a special breed that can use Fire Magic!"

A normal boar was one thing, but keeping an animal of this nature as a pet was forbidden…… though, that hardly mattered right now.

Yuno leapt from the bush, rushing to Julius's side. "Your Majesty! Are you all right?"

In retrospect, that had been rather stupid of him. After all, what could a Flame Boar possibly do that could in any way harm the Wizard King? It was patently clear he didn’t have a single scratch on him, no burns of any sort, and even the cabin itself remained safe from any flying sparks.

"......Yu-Yuno-kun........!?"

Julius's face was so red, he could have started spitting fire himself.

"H-h-how...how long--how long h-h-have you...been w-watching...me...?"

"I didn't see anything I didn't hear anything PLEASE EXCUSE ME, SIR!"

Yuno sputtered before promptly turning on his heel and darting off. It was a rather forcible retreat, admittedly, but he was convinced it was the best course of action. What had just transpired would only reflect badly on the both of them, so pretending it had never happened at all was for the best.

“W-wait! P-please hear me out!”

However, Julius chased after him, his expression desperate.

"W-wait! Please wait! There's something I'd like your help with!"

……And when the Wizard King said that to you...well, you really had to stop, didn't you?

 “……So, this little one’s parents died, which is why you decided to take care of it here for the time being?”

After all that, Yuno and Bell were invited to sit on the bench in front of the cabin as Julius served them some tea and snacks. Both the tea and snacks looked rather extravagant, so Yuno couldn’t help but wonder if they were meant to bribe him to keep quiet. At the same time, Julius explained his circumstances to them.

“Yes. Well, in short, that is correct.”

As he watched Graham run around chasing butterflies, Julius continued,

“Not too long ago, I was passing by this area when I found two flame boars being attacked by bandits. Those were Graham’s parents.”

Bell grabbed a macaroon with both hands and stuffed it into her mouth as she asked Julius,

“Why did those bandits attack them? Were they hungry or something?”

“Flame boar fur has excellent heat resistance, so it’s sometimes used to make magic tools and the like. Because of that, it can be sold for a high price. Of course, that doesn’t make it right to kill them indiscriminately, so I rushed in to save them. I managed to capture the bandits, but…… it was already too late for Graham’s parents.”

On the outside, Yuno was expressionless as he nodded in agreement, but on the inside, he felt bitter. This was not an uncommon occurrence in areas that have been plagued by bandits. They indiscriminately kill, eat, and sell any animals unfortunate enough to live in their territory.

“Although he was injured, I at least managed to save Graham. However, I couldn’t just leave him, so I was going to drop him off at an animal shelter…... but no matter which shelter I tried, they all refused to take him.”

“Because it’s forbidden to keep a dangerous animal like a flame boar as a pet.”

Technically, if he made full use of his authority as the Wizard King, he would be able to force any facility to keep Graham. However, that would surely cause trouble for the breeders and the other animals they kept at the facility. As Yuno knew, Julius was not the sort of man who would do that. Julius shrugged lightly before replying,

“Right. That’s why I started taking care of him in secret. I’d like to keep him until he recovers from his injuries, at least.”  

Julius replied as if to substantiate the explanation that Yuno reached.

“I see…...”

Yuno said as he nodded. Although Yuno came to agree with him, Julius felt a small pang of guilt. His story wasn’t a lie, but it was not the whole truth, either. That’s because if Julius had used his time magic, he could have cured Graham’s injuries in an instant. However, if he did that, then Graham would grow up with the mistaken assumption that injuries can be cured easily. Julius wanted to avoid clouding Graham’s worldview for the convenience of humans any more than it already has.

Coming back from that tangent, Julius continued,

“That’s why I was wondering if you could keep this a secret for me? If it became known that the leader of the Magic Knights broke the rules, there would be a lot of trouble.”

Particularly from Marx. If Marx found out, there was no telling what Marx might say to him. It was easy to imagine what awaited in his future……

“You were raising an unusual pet, huh……? That’s the kind of thing an extravagant bachelor with too much time and money on his hands would do! Stop playing around and get back to work!”

……And he would continue on and on like that.

Yuno lightly tilted his head, completely unaware of Julius’s troubles.

“Of course. It was never my intention to tell anyone, but…… wouldn’t it be better to take care of Graham somewhere else? Bandits might go after him again, and Magic Knights take turns coming here almost every day, so you might get spotted again.”

“……That’s true, but……”

Julius pointed to a large rock a short distance from the cabin. Placed in front of that rock were two bouquets of flowers. Sometimes, Graham would sit at that rock and squeal in a very particular way. Yuno has heard these squeals before. It was the sound flame boars make when they are trying to get their parents’ attention. In other words, that was where……

Julius saw that Yuno understood and nodded.

“That was where Graham’s parents were killed. I think that’s why…... Graham refuses to leave this place.”

For the second time that day, Yuno felt a bitterness in his heart.

“…...I was raised in a village, so I’ve seen animals like that before. Some baby animals won’t leave their parents’ side, even after their parents have died. That’s probably happening here, too.”

Even if you pull that baby animal away from its parents’ bodies by force, it will likely return. In the end, it will probably die, either from being targeted by other animals or from illness caused by being near a corpse. If Julius wasn’t protecting him, that’s probably what would have happened to Graham.

“I thought about using magic to move his parents’ corpses, but…… it would be a problem if Graham thought I was playing with them. In the end, I decided to bury them here.”

“……I see.”

Bell said, looking sorrowfully at Graham. She then clenched her hand into a little fist and said,

“Wizard King! You’re really something! It’s really cool that you’re willing to go so far for a single wild boar!”

“……Hey, Bell. You’re being rude.”

“Ha ha, I don’t mind, Yuno-kun. Miss Wind Spirit, I’m happy to hear you say that. By the way, can I try mixing your magic with mine? Just for a bit?”

“I’m Yuno’s, so no way! However, I kinda like you, so you’re allowed to call me Bell!”

Bell was being incredibly impertinent as she said this, but Julius’s response was simply to smile gently and say,

“That’s too bad. Well, I’m happy that I can call you by your name!”

He possesses great power, he shows tolerance toward anyone, and he holds compassion even for animals. That’s the kind of person Julius is. The kind of person Yuno - and Asta - were aiming to become was as grand as ever. Moreover, Yuno was only looking at a small part of the Wizard King. Despite this, he understood that the Wizard King was a grand existence. If he could see everything, just how grand would he be……? Even trying to imagine it made him feel overwhelmed.

‘Even so, someday I’ll…..!’

As such thoughts reignited in Yuno’s chest, Julius cleared his throat as if to move on to a new subject.

“This brings me to what I wanted to ask you…… Just as you said, this is not a good place to be raising an animal, and I’m also too busy to take care of Graham by myself……”

He appeared rather uncomfortable as he looked at Yuno and Bell.

“That is…… I know this is a selfish request, but you seem like you wouldn’t spill a secret, so…… could you maybe…… help me take care of Graham?”

‘I knew this was coming……,’ Yuno thought as he weighed his options. For Julius, it would make things quicker and easier if Yuno and Bell cooperate now that they’ve seen this place. However, keeping it a secret from the Order of Magic Knights was definitely going to be troublesome.

“Of course, I’m not asking you this as the Wizard King. I’m asking you as a person, so there’s nothing wrong with saying no. You’ll end up breaking the rules, too…… it would be troublesome for you if you get discovered, and you could run into trouble here, too.”

That’s right. If something were to happen here, he wouldn’t be able to get here in time to help Yuno. This was not a task one should carelessly take on.

“Of course. If you’re alright with us helping you, we would love to.”

“Right, of course you’d say no…… the Royal Knights Selection Exam is coming up and you have your own duties to…... WAIT, REALLY!?”

Julius had crestfallenly lowered his head, but then he raised his head back up in surprise and sputtered,

“Huh, a-are you sure!? You’re going to take on this task, just like that……?”

“Yes. I can do my duties as a Magic Knight here…... Plus, if I let a thought like “something bad might happen” stop me, then I’d never get anything done.”

The second half of what he said came from his own experiences as a child. In life, if you don’t do anything, then nothing will happen. He didn’t want that. If you find yourself unable to move because of all your negative thoughts, it’s sometimes necessary to just try doing whatever you want before thinking about what you should do. This was something he learned from watching that guy live his life. He wasn’t sure if this was one of those times, but, at the very least…...

“Also, you said that I would be breaking the rules, but I’m just helping you because I think that’s the right thing to do. I think that for most people, doing what they think is right would be the correct thing to do.”

……Yuno knew that he liked what Julius was doing. That’s why he was going to help him without worrying about problems that may or may not happen later. Wanting to support that idea, Bell whirled around Julius and said,

“That’s right! That’s absolutely right! Actually, it’s weird that you’re doing something so cool so sneakily by yourself! At the very least, you should let us help you!”

“You guys……”

Julius appeared a little surprised as he said this, but then,

“……I see. William truly is blessed with some good kids.”

He nodded as if he came to understand something before calmly smiling once more.

“Thank you, really! Well then, I’ll be counting on you two!”

Yuno bowed his head with a smile before looking around at his surroundings.

“Even so, it really is dangerous to be raising an animal here. If we don’t take measures soon, then……”

“Y-yeah…… You really are a good kid. You’re able to look at things pragmatically so quickly……”

Julius wanted to bask in the warm, snug atmosphere they just created for a little longer, but…… now wasn’t really the time for that. Julius grabbed a large sack that was left at a corner of the cabin and brought it to Yuno and Bell.

“I’ve already done something about that. I bought all sorts of magic tools for dealing with bandits or other Magic Knights.”

Julius pulled out one expensive-looking magic tool after another from the bag.

“Umm, this one is a jewel that keeps evil away. I’m pretty sure this one is a collar that seals away magical power. And this one is a magic tool that keeps others from being able to sense your mana, even if they use mana perception. Also, this one is…...”

As he pulled each tool out, he explained in detail what each one of them did with a huge grin on his face. Yuno and Bell, who felt nothing but respect for Julius just moments ago, started to think ‘This guy is kind of scary…….’. Just how much money and effort is he sinking into one wild boar? Bell whispered into Yuno’s ear,

“……Hey, Yuno. Is he one of those? He gave us all those reasons earlier, but…... maybe he’s just an old guy who wants to secretly raise a pet……?”

“Please don’t say that……. Just don’t.”

He may have sounded a little unconfident in his reply, but that’s not because he was starting to think the same thing Bell was thinking. Absolutely not.

“I read this in a book once, but unmarried bachelors in their 40’s tend to have a lot of money, and they want something to spend their money on, so they buy a pet. Then, that causes their paternal instincts to explode forth, so they end up spending even more money on it.”

“You’re talking about a normal unmarried bachelor in his 40’s. This man is the Wizard King. Don’t lump them together.”

“Hm? Yuno-kun, did you say something?”

“Nothing.”

And so, despite all his doubts and unease, his days taking care of Graham with Julius began.

 ----- The following morning -----

“Oh, Yuno-kun! Bell-kun! Thank you for taking care of him so early in the morning~”

Julius swooped down from the sky toward Yuno and Bell, who were training near the lake.

“Good morning. You’re up early too, your highness.”

“Yeah, I have a meeting to attend just before noon today, so I figured I’d stay here until then. What about you?”

“We have the day off today, so I’ve been training my magic by reinforcing the cabin and changing Graham’s bedding. Also, I think he’s still fine for now, but I was thinking that we should make a fence in preparation for when Graham becomes independent from his parents. It would be troublesome if he accidently wandered into one of the villages.

“……Y-yeah. You sure work fast. Adaptable, too.”

Julius said in surprise. From the start, Yuno was meticulous and diligent. He wanted to do as much as he could while he was here.

“Look, Graham! Your Daddy’s here!”

Bell said as she flew toward Graham, who was eating his feed in front of the hut. Julius had a questioning, but also happy expression on his face as he asked,

“……D-daddy?”

“Bell. Don’t call him weird names. It’s rude.”

“It’s fine, right? He’s practically acting like a surrogate dad!”

“Even so, calling him ‘Daddy’ is a little…...”

As Yuno and Bell continued, Julius’s face steadily became redder until he cleared his throat and interrupted,

“W-well, it’s fine, isn’t it? It feels a little uncomfortable to be called that, but it might be good for Graham. I’m not sure how I feel about it, though…..”

“Oh, well then I won’t call you that. I’m not going to force you to-

“Ah, no! Never mind! Let’s go with that!”

Julius interrupted before crouching down in front of Graham.

“Even so, you two are amazing for being able to feed Graham already. It took a lot of struggling on my part to get him to trust me enough to do that……”

Julius sounded a bit woeful as he said this. Yuno responded as he walked toward the hut,

“I’m not sure why, but animals have always liked me. Also, Bell is a wind spirit, so it might be easier for Graham to trust her over a human being. Actually……”

Yuno glanced at the tombstone for Graham’s parents as he continued,

“You began taking care of Graham right after his parents were killed. That would be the time when Graham would hate humans the most. The fact you managed to feed him and tend to his wounds despite that makes you even more amazing.”

It looked like Graham was putting up a lot of resistance yesterday when the Wizard King was changing his bandages, but that was probably just because his wounds still hurt. It’s not like Graham hasn’t opened his heart to him.

“The reason we’re able to get along with Graham right now is because of you, your highness. Isn’t the fact that Graham knows that not all humans are bad because you poured so much love into him?”

“Y-you think so? That would make me very happy, but……”

Julius sounded embarrassed as he replied before extending his hand toward Graham’s head.

“Graham~ It’s……. It’s Daddy. Daddy’s he-

“SQEEEA, SQEAAAL!”

CRUNCH

With full force, Graham chomped down on Julius’s fingers.

“……………”

A terribly awkward atmosphere arose between Julius and Yuno. In the meantime, Bell, who is incabable of reading the mood, tried her best to open Graham’s mouth as she reprimanded him.

“Hey, Graham! Stop that! You wouldn’t do that to me or Yuno, right!? It’s almost as if you don’t trust the Wizard King after all!”

Yuno went pale when he heard Bell utter the worst thing she could have possibly said, but Julius chided Bell with a stiff smile on his face.

“Ah, Ah ha ha! It’s fine, Bell-kun! I’m sure Graham’s just hungry!”

“What are you talking about!? Graham literally just ate!”

“Then, he’s probably just trying to play! Yeah! I’m sure he just wants to play with me!”

“Even so, he looks serious! It’s like he’s trying to bite your fingers off!”

“Bell! BELL! Just stop talking! Just stop!”

Unusually for him, Yuno raised his voice as he interrupted Bell, stopping her from uttering another word and gently pulling Julius’s fingers away from Graham. After that, Graham trotted away toward the lake to drink some water. Those hellish couple of seconds were finally over, but tears started to pool in Julius’s eyes.

‘Should I say something…..?’ Yuno thought, maybe about how Bell has a tendency to air-headedly stab people in the heart…… No, it was too late to say anything about that now, so he decided to change the subject as quickly as he could.  

“……Could you explain to me what all the magic tools you bought do again?”

Yuno truly did want to hear his explanation again. Julius explained everything so quickly yesterday that he didn’t get all the details.

“S-sure…… There’s a lot of them, but I think this one’s the most important one.”

Julius said, returning back to his usual self as he led Yuno inside the cabin. There, a sparkling red jewel was hidden under Graham’s bedding.

“This is a high-grade magic tool that wards away evil. It creates a barrier with this jewel at the center, and people with evil souls can’t cross through its barrier. That’s the only thing I bought the first day I decided to raise Graham, and I’ve kept this tool active this whole time.”

Bell, who returned to Yuno’s shoulder, gasped in admiration as she looked at the jewel and said,

“That’s a high-grade magic tool for ya! It would be great if every household…… or at least every village had one of these!”

“Ha ha, if we could do that, it would make our jobs as Magic Knights a lot easier. However, this jewel’s range is not very large, and this isn’t widely distributed. Moreover, one strong attack is enough to break this jewel’s barrier, so it’s not so omnipotent as one might think.”

“However, it’s more than enough to protect Graham from those bandits, right?”

Julius nodded at Yuno’s words and turned toward Graham, who was currently bathing in the lake. Around Graham’s neck was a collar with a nameplate attached.

“The next important tool is the collar I bought yesterday. That collar seals away magic. As long as he wears that, Graham won’t be able to use magic, so even if another Magic Knight finds us, they would think that he’s just an ordinary boar.”

Julius’s expression stiffened a bit before continuing.

“Well, not being found at all would be the best outcome, and hardly anyone would have any reason to come here, but…... just like you did, it’s possible that somebody could wander here by chance.”

After the three of them reflected on the “major accident” that happened yesterday, Yuno swiftly returned to the main subject and asked,

“……I see. What about the other tools?”

Following Yuno’s train of thought, Julius quickly began to explain the other tools.

“The other ones are magic tools which conceal our presence, make our mana less perceptible, and other things of that nature. Well, I’ll go ahead and explain what they all do in detail, and…… hm?”

Before he could finish talking, his expression suddenly became grim, and his gaze sharpened as he looked toward the direction of the village. Yuno looked in the same direction.

“……Somebody’s coming.”

“Yeah. I feel two sources of mana heading towards us. For now, let’s hide in the cabin.”

The two swiftly moved toward the cabin, but Bell looked at Graham and exclaimed,

“Wait! Is it alright to leave Graham like this!? We should all hide together!”

“No. We wouldn’t be able to make it in time. For the time being, let’s observe the situation. If something happens, we’ll all leave.”

Julius countered as they slipped into the cabin. Before long, two figures emerged from the forest……

“Kah kah! Look~ There’s nothing here. There’s nobody!”

The Captain of the Green Mantis, Jack the Ripper……

“How strange. I definitely felt powerful mana coming from here earlier……”

……And the Captain of the Blue Roses, Charlotte Roselei.

Two Magic Knights…... two Magic Knight Captains, no less, set foot on the lake shore. Judging by what they were saying, they must have sensed either Yuno’s or Julius’s presence. They probably noticed Julius’s mana when he flew here.

‘To think two bigshots like these would show up,’ Yuno thought, cold sweat dripping from his forehead.

“Why are Captains doing a mundane task like patrolling……?”

“…….Because the Royal Knights Selection Exam will be held soon. Even if it only helps a bit, Captains and Vice-Captains have been handling some of the routine tasks so that their squad members can focus on training for it.”

Julius explained calmly, but internally, his heart was pounding. It would be bad if they were found out by ordinary Magic Knights, but there was no mistaking that being found out by a Captain would be even worse. They nervously held their breaths in the cabin as they heard Charlotte say in a commanding tone of voice,

“Just in case, let’s split up and search the area.”

“Are you kidding me~ Damn, I was planning to get wasted at a bar until our shift ended.”

After that brief exchange, Charlotte began to trace the perimeter of the lake while Jack began investigating inside the forest, appearing very bored as he did so. Seeing this, Yuno frowned as he turned toward Julius.

“……What should we do? At this rate, we’ll be found any moment now.”

“We’re okay. Like I was saying earlier, I have a magic tool running that dulls other people’s mana perception abilities, so they won’t be able to sense our mana. I also have another tool running right now that inhibits other people’s ability to notice our presence. In other words, right now, they won’t be able to sense our presence nor our mana.”

‘If you have that much money to spend on magic tools, maybe you should put some of that money toward the Magic Knights,’ Yuno thought. In any case, if that’s all true, then their presence probably won’t be discovered. The problem was……

“……Hm? What’s this? A baby boar? What is it doing in a place like this……?”

Just as Yuno feared, Charlotte spotted Graham, and began to slowly make her way toward him. Surprised by her presence, Graham froze stiff. While he remained frozen, Charlotte crouched down to meet Graham at eye level.

“……So, you’re getting your wounds treated? You have a collar, too. Is someone feeding you here…..?”

She said as she extended her hand toward Graham’s collar.

‘Please don’t take his collar off…….!’ all three of them prayed as they watched her from inside the cabin.

“……..Graham? That’s what is carved here…… I see. So, your name is Graham?”

She muttered before looking around at her surroundings. It looked like she made particular note of whether Jack was still deep in the forest. After confirming that nobody else was around, she turned toward Graham once more, and……

“……Graham, come here. I won’t hurt you, so go ahead and sit on my lap~”

With great difficulty, but also great tenderness, she raised Graham up and placed him on her lap. Then with an innocent smile, much like the smile of a young girl, she hugged Graham’s body.

“Wow…… this is amazing. I though boar fur would be rough and scratchy, but it’s actually really fluffy. I wonder if it’s because you’re a baby. Tee hee, this feels nice. You’re so cute……”

“…………”

“You’re so small. Are you eating properly? I know, I’ll find something good for you to eat! What would you like to eat? Hm? I’ll buy anything you want~”

“…………”

The three inside the cabin continued to watch Charlotte dote on Graham, stiffly turning their heads toward each other. It was a different outcome then what they were expecting, but it was a crazy sight indeed.

“H-hey…… Yuno-kun……?”

This wasn’t the time to be asking this, but Julius couldn’t help but ask.

“……D-did I…… look like that when you found me……?”

“Quiet, your highness. It looks like Captain Jack has returned.”

Yuno brushed off Julius’s question and turned his gaze toward the forest. There, Jack was lumbering his way back. Charlotte noticed his presence, putting Graham down and standing back up on her feet. Her face was a bit red, so she tried to hide this with her hand as she asked him,

“……H-how was it, Jack? Did you find anyone?”

“Nope~ Not a single soul. Kah kah. It must’ve been your imagination.”

“……Maybe. It’s possible that Grah……. No, it’s possible that this injured boar’s owner came to check on him, and then headed home soon after.”

Charlotte left it at that and promptly started back toward the village.

“Anyway, we now know that no one else is here. Let’s return to the village and buy some feed…… no, let’s just go back to the village.”

“Huh? Ah, hey!”

She didn’t respond to Jack’s voice, opting instead to hurry into the forest as if she had some great mission to fulfill.

“Damn, what’s with her……? Anyway, I feel tired just being here. I feel like my physical strength and magical power is withering away. I wonder if some weird magic was cast here.”

Hearing Jack talk to himself, Yuno tilted his head in confusion.

‘What is he talking about? At the very least, I don’t feel any symptoms like that…...”

He turned toward Julius, searching for an answer from him. Julius’s reply was a little awkward as he explained,

“It’s probably the jewel that repels people with evil souls. Maybe that’s what happens when it only affects you halfway……?”

‘……I see. That Magic Knights Captain is recognized as a “halfway evil soul” by the jewel.’

Not knowing that this was the cause, Jack looked around as he muttered,

“Come to think of it, she mentioned there was a boar, but I don’t see it…… Ah, there it is.”

His eyes sharpened with a glint as they lowered toward Graham. Graham jumped in surprise as the three in the cabin watched the situation closely, feeling very different from when they were watching Charlotte. They were pretty sure that Jack wouldn’t get violent with Graham, but he might treat him roughly. That would be unpardonable. If it came to that, they would have no choice but to come out of hiding and stop him. They tensely watched over the situation to see which way it would go, but…...

“……What is he doing? Neither of them have moved an inch……”

Just as Yuno said, Jack was looking Graham in the eye with what seemed like no intention to move whatsoever. Because he was afraid, Graham also didn’t move, so it looked as if time had stopped for them both.

Bell hummed as she pretended to push up imaginary glasses,

“…...It’s just like when a bad wolf happens upon an abandoned puppy and the two come to a mutual understanding. Like, “So, you’re on your own, too…..?”, or something.”

“But he’s not on his own. He has a collar and bandages, so that much should be obvious.”

Yuno’s rebuttal was immediate, but Bell continued to dub over the other two with a hushed voice.

“I could save you, take you in as my henchman, but that would be too easy. If I do that, you’re gonna think that life is easy for as long as you live. It ain’t easy. Life is…… never easy.”

“That’s the kind of conversation two human beings would have. Also, don’t you think your image of Captain Jack is a little off?”

Yuno shot Bell down again, but then Jack headed toward the shoals of the lake and caught a fish using his Slash Magic. After that, he threw it next to Graham. Without skipping a beat, Bell continued,

“Whoops, my mistake…… I accidentally caught too many fish. Throwing them away would surely anger the gods, so I’ll give some to you. Now, young lad…… live, and grow up to be strong…….”

“Okay, that whole “gods” thing is really out of character for him. Just stop……”

“Well, I don’t know if he’d say it quite like that, but it looks like she more or less got it right…... At the very least, it appears that he won’t get rough with Graham.”

While the three of them were talking, Jack left the vicinity. After watching Jack’s figure disappear into the forest, Julius let out a huge sigh of relief.

“Whew, that scared me….. From now on, we should use magic tools that hide our magic power when we come here.”

“……You’re right. Actually, if you could find a magic tool that makes us invisible, that would be great.”

‘If we had that, we would’ve been able to escape before seeing all that,’ Yuno thought to himself as he came out of the hut with Julius.

“Are you okay, Graham? You must’ve been so scared!”

Bell said as he flew toward Graham. Graham squealed happily and started skipping about. Watching Graham behave so cheerfully, Julius had a wry smile on his face.

“Ah ha ha. I thought he’d be afraid, but he’s surprisingly okay. Have you gotten used to being around humans?”

“He might be able to relax around people who seem to hold good intentions.”

……Of course, those two seemed a little too interested in Graham, so there was another problem they had to worry about – the possibility that they may return. However, there was nothing for them to do about that other than take appropriate measures when the time comes. As Yuno came to this conclusion, Julius squatted in front of Graham and extended his hand toward the fish Jack caught.

“Isn’t this great, Graham? You have a fish! Daddy will cut it into pieces to make it easier for you to-

“SQUEAL! SQUEAAAL!”

CRUNCH!

At that moment, Graham chomped down on Julius’s fingers with all his might.

“………….”

 — To be continued in Part 2 —

Julius is such a softie and I love every minute of it. Spoil that baby boar!

Charlotte’s reaction was expected (and perfectly understandable as I would love to hug Graham too), but I can’t say I saw Jack’s coming. It was…... interesting. It’s funny that his soul is considered half-evil, though.

I’m glad to be back to translating Book of Yuno again. The Black Bulls are fun, but there’s something refreshing about having the focus on a character outside of their group. Maybe it’s because he’s so introverted, but Yuno feels very natural as a book protagonist. It’s also funny to see how often the novel essentially says “he had a neutral expression on the outside, but inside he felt *insert intense emotion here*”.  

[dragons-bones]

The White Vault 4.09: Glimpse

oops I forgot this was in my drafts

ALL RIGHT HERE WE FUCKING GO, TIME FOR YELLING SINCE I’M NO LONGER DISTRACTED BY F/EBHYURARY, SPOILERS AHOY MY VAULTLINGS

SHE DID IT. EVA DID IT, SHE BLEW THE CHARGES. I AM SOBBING, BUT SHE DID IT.

...this leads me to wonder if the call the Documentarian’s mother gets in the pre-season Indications short wasn’t about the tremors that the rescue team experienced in the cave but actually about Eva blowing up Cerro Torre

God, Graham needs a hug.

Rosa’s teeth is the most glaring goddamn Chekov’s gun I’ve yet to see in this show, wow. Katie, that better be some hella payoff.

I was not expecting a philosophical discussion but, honestly, it really provides some fascinating perspectives is a nice breath after all the goddamn tension of this season. And, like, Graham is also the absolute last person I would have expected to talk about positive forces but, hell. He ain’t wrong. Surely there has to be something to balance all this awful shit?

*SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* LET GRAHAM CASNER SHOOT A SHADOW MONSTER WITH A SHOTGUN.

*ahem* *sips coffee*

[Andean condor noise] *SIPS COFFEE LOUDER*

and then

they got off the mountain

THEY. GOT. OFF. THE MOUNTAIN.

WHAT THE HELL THEY GOT OFF THE MOUNTAIN OH MY GOD THEY DID IT THEY DID IT THEY DID IT

I don’t think they’re home free yet. They have Rosa’s teeth, they blew up Cerro Torre, Simon’s badly injured (possibly hallucinated Eva, has hallucinated the statues before (OR DID HE), has referred to Cerro Torres as ‘sacred’--listen I think signs are pointing to that something got to him, but the not same way it did with Eva), shit ain’t perfect. but. THEY GOT OFF THE MOUNTAIN

which brings us toooooooo:

THE DOCUMENTARIAN’S MOTHER

[concern.jpg]

there is no jpg, gif, or emoji that can properly capture the complicated feelings I bear for this woman, but if I had to pick two, they would be “deep confusion” and “boiling hatred”

I forgot to mention this with 4.08, but I googled “Sveiða“ and got two possible returns in Old Icelandic on what that...charm’s...name means: “to burn” (doubtful) or something like “of the sea-king” (much more likely and appropriate for a “charm” that vaguely looks like a walrus monster)

please note I have absolutely no background of Icelandic or any other Norse or Scandinavian language so these results may be wrong and/or not Katie’s intention with that name

“Dúrnirga“ returned a whole lot of Absolutely Nothing, though. which. has me doing a concern. o_o;

ANYWAY so, like

Mor’s comments very strongly imply that her family’s relationship with these shadow monsters/totems/charms/what-the-fuck-evers gives them a degree of protection and health. the Documentarian’s great-grandmother is still alive and healthy as a horse, and so is her grandmother

(there...also seems to be a degree of matrilinealism occurring here, too; Mor makes no mentions of grandfathers or brothers or sons. great-grandmother, grandmother, Mor, the Documentarian and her half-sister. and Jonas’s wife is strongly implied to be involved, and they have twin daughters...this can’t be a coincidence)

and, like. “accidents don’t happen to us.” nothing ever happens to them, with the implication being that the Documentarian’s accident and the accident that killed Essie was because they either weren’t under the charms’ protection (Documentarian) or they rejected whatever “duty” they have to the family/the charms/the monsters (Essie)

(of course I also think that there’s a serious possibility that Essie was deliberately offed because her lack of acceptance of her family’s circumstances made her an active threat to the charms. her car skidded on a patch of black ice when we know the charm monsters and whatever forces are associated with them can affect the weather.)

it also seems like that as much as Mor accepts and goes along with whatever the fuck is going on, perhaps there’s a degree of uncertainty/knowing deep down what’s happening is wrong. she hedges A LOT in actually giving the Documentarian an answer (frustrating both the audience and the Documentarian), and one of her lines in Swedish (untranslated in the podcast, but has a translation note included in the transcript) is, “I hated having this talk with my mother.”

oh and then there’s that thing at the end where the stone on the pillar suddenly has a completely elongated shadow and is vaguely person shaped.

*STARES AT KATIE*

IS THAT STONE OR SOMETHING A WAY FOR THE CHARM/SHADOW MONSTERS TO MANIFEST/SEMI-INTERACT WITH THE FAMILY IN A WAY THAT’S, Y’KNOW, LESS LIKELY TO RESULT IN UNHOLY TERROR OR SCREAMING. OR JUST A WAY FOR THEM TO OBSERVE THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN MOR AND THE DOCUMENTARIAN.

goddamnit this show is gonna give me ulcers

I’d like to conclude with a reiteration of a statement I’ve been saying most of the season as we eagerly/apprehensively await the season finale:

LET GRAHAM CASNER SHOOT A SHADOW MONSTER WITH A SHOTGUN.

[hungnitan]

BUNGOU STRAY DOGS WAN ! CHAPTER 97

LONG LONG TIME NO SEE EVERYONE ! I KNOW SOME OF YOU STILL WAITING FOR ME (as if)

Everyone already know I had unlimited hiatus from wan! isn’t. For why I comeback... it’s because I saw wan! get animated soon (detail info still coming soon)

But it’s true too I’ve been busy lately, especially A3! took my time every event, HI3 just got update for new Theresa (yup I love her so much, she’s cute), plus FGOUS in same time with HI3 got their LB2 (I just get Blue eyes dragon NP2) XD

So, as I really behind schedule for longest time, I just pushed for some chapters that still not get translated. Thanks to @awkwardbsd for her masterlist and please refer to this to see list of translated wan! and I only do the untranslated one with my personal pace !

Fyi, I doing this without my personal computer so this just an improvise typewriter. Like always english and japanese isn’t my first language so bear with me~

(this chapter release on 4 Dec 2019)

[scrapheapchallenge]

Ask The Writer game responses.

Writer questions. 

1. HOW MANY WORKS DO YOU HAVE ON AO3?

117

2. WHAT IS YOUR TOTAL AO3 WORD COUNT?

91,5077

3. HOW MANY FANDOMS HAVE YOU WRITTEN FOR AND WHAT ARE THEY?

3: Good Omens, Discworld and a bit of American Gods.

4. TOP FIVE FICS BY KUDOS?

Roomba of doom

Shake a tail feather

Hired Heart

Celestial Blade

All hands on deck (dick?)

5. DO YOU RESPOND TO COMMENTS? WHY OR WHY NOT?

Yes I respond to them all, even if it’s just “thanks” or a heart or smile emoji if I’m low on energy. If someone takes time to write a longer comment then I’ll wait until I’m on the laptop to type up a longer reply in response. It’s only polite really. 

6. FIC YOU'VE WRITTEN WITH THE ANGSTIEST ENDING?

I’ve never done one! I only do happy endings, I couldn’t bear an angsty one. 

7. DO YOU WRITE CROSSOVERS? WHAT'S THE CRAZIEST ONE?

 Yes! The most fun was “L-Space” which is a Discworld/Good Omens crossover which I fully believe that Sir Terry Pratchett would have approved of, and definitely intended in his own mind - seeing as he wrote Aziraphale AND his bookshop *exactly* how he writes L-space portals and their owners. It was clearly intentional. 

8. HAVE YOU EVER RECEIVED HATE ON A FIC?

Definitely. The most hurtful though was from someone I was actually writing the fic for as a gift - she hadn’t known it was going to be a gift for her, but slated it when it was in production and was clear that she hated it. So obviously I didn’t gift it to her in the end. 

9. DO YOU WRITE SMUT? IF YES, WHAT KIND?

Hahahahahaaaaaa YES. I’m best known for my comedy smut, which is apparently my niche. But also fluffy smut, and comedy-fluff-smut. A perfect triangle of fun. 

10. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A FIC STOLEN?

I’m not sure. I don’t count same titles as theft of course - I’ve a couple of fics where others have written fics with the same title, but completely different plots so that isn’t an issue whatsoever. I’ve also seen some convergent evolution fics where the author and I have coincidentally had the same little headcanon and done our own takes on it purely by accident at the same time. As for theft - it’s hard to check. I check for my most popular one by searching google and it flags up something for fanfiction dotnet and wattpad, but won’t show the actual thing, also possibly a russian site - but I can never find the actual fic that contains the keywords that google claims to have found as evidence - it only ever shows the home page or a blank screen. So I can’t tell and it bothers me. If anyone does ever find one of my fics copied elsewhere, please tell me!

11. HAVE YOU EVER HAD A FIC TRANSLATED?

Apparently one into Russian, and invites to translate others into Spanish and Russian, still pending. 

12. HAVE YOU EVER CO WRITTEN A FIC?

Yes, several times and I love it - collaborating is a lot of fun!

13. ALL TIME FAVORITE SHIP?

Aziraphale x Crowley

14. WIP YOU WILL NEVER FINISH?

There’s a few probably. I have Deadpool & Crowley as best buddies part written, Crowley as Top Gear’s “The Stig” (I really want to finish it), and a few others I’ve forgotten. 

15. WHAT ARE YOUR WRITING STRENGTHS?

Hyperfocussing means I can bash out thousands of words extremely fast when I’m in the zone. I’m good at pinch-hitting for zines as I can fill a gap with a 2k fic within an hour or so if needed. My other strengths are realistic dialogue - knowing the book characters so well, along with the show characters, and being able to imagine their response and style of speech in a given situation. That and random comedy. 

16. WHAT ARE YOUR WRITING WEAKNESSES?

Grammar for certain. Worrying I’m over-using similar tropes. It’s hard to say. 

17. THOUGHTS ON DIALOGUE IN OTHER LANGUAGES IN YOUR FIC?

I’ve done this quite a lot in the past. I do speak at least a bit of several languages, although not fluent in many, I can get by in a couple. I will usually just write it in English for the reader’s benefit, but in at least one fic I had Crowley speaking French untranslated on purpose, because we are supposed to be in the dark about what he’s saying along with Aziraphale, so it’s a surprise. In another, I had Crowley singing fictional songs in various languages from throughout human history - for these I had the lines translated into the correct text (eg hebrew, arabic etc) as it was just the song title - which I then translated into English. I didn’t write the lines of the song, just created some evocative song titles. 

18. FIRST FANDOM YOU WROTE FOR?

Good Omens (yes, I’m new at this)

19. FAVORITE FIC YOU'VE WRITTEN?

That’s really hard to answer. SFW it’ll probably be “Roomba Of Doom.” NSFW probably “Hired Heart,” for angst (with a happy ending) then “Constraint.” For comedy it’d be “All hands on deck (dick?)” followed by “Not on the plants dear, we’re British” and “Wet’n’Wild” as my top 3 comedy smut nonsense things. 

[fizzyxcustard]

Fear and Loathing (3)

Chapter 1  Chapter 2

Read on AO3

Tumblr Masterlist of all fics

Fandom: seaQuest 2032

Summary: (Part 2 of The Right Thing - this will be a chaptered fic) Captain Hudson knows that you and Lucas are more than just friends, and after changing your shift rotations to make sure you’re not on duty together, you take things into your own hands and request a transfer from seaQuest. Before your transfer can be processed, officers and crew begin showing signs of extreme anxiety, anger and paranoia. Some are worse affected than others, you being one of them. Can you fight for not only your relationship with Lucas but your state of mind?

Pairings: Ensign Lucas Wolenczak x FemLieutenant!Reader, Commander Jonathan Ford x Lieutenant Lonnie Henderson (only slight)

Warnings: Language, violence, insecurity, angst, paranoia, anxiety, mental instability, very mild sexual references/smut mention, age difference/gap.

Comments: If you wish to be added to my seaQuest tag list, which will be separate from all my other tags, let me know, and I will only tag you in these if you specifically request to be tagged. This is practically a dead fandom now, but I would still like to share my writings with you. If you would like to ask any questions, then by all means just ask! People are probably wondering why I’m still continuing this fic when it gets so little feedback, but it’s purely because I enjoy writing it. It’d a pleasure to be reminiscing in old times. 

You were released from the Med Bay that following evening and decided to head straight to the mess hall for a late dinner. After your panic attack that morning, you had found your body returning to normal. The doctor was happy that your symptoms had subsided but had still directed you to go back for daily check ups at 09:00 hours each morning. The blood sample he had taken was still with the UEO’s Science and Health Division, awaiting thorough analysis.

The mess hall was deserted by now, but the cook was kind enough to re-heat a meal for you before he finished for the night. Peace and quiet had finally settled in your chest as you ate slowly, savouring the array of flavours. You took a deep breath, smiled to yourself and glanced around the room. All you could hear was the gentle hum of seaQuest’s turbines. It was always enough to calm you.

Tony Piccolo entered a short while later, just as you were finishing your last couple of mouthfuls.

“Hi, Tony,” you said cheerfully around a mouthful of assorted vegetables.

“How are you feeling?”

“Good, thank you. Better,” you replied, watching him sit opposite you. “I’ve got to try and rest for the next couple of days, doctor’s orders.”

You couldn’t help but notice that Tony seemed uncomfortable, fidgeting with something in his lap. His brown eyes seemed to have a hard time focusing on you.

“Tony? What’s the matter?”

“I…know you’ve been sick…and it’s happened around Lucas, but he wanted me to give you this.” Tony slowly offered you an unsealed envelope with your name on the front. You took it from Tony with apprehension.

“I’ll, umm, read it. Thanks, Tony.” You took a deep breath and opened out the folded paper, seeing Lucas’ familiar penned scrawl.

I thought I’d do this the old-fashioned way for once. I miss you so much, but I know that something has got to give. These last two months have been the best of my life. Thank you. But I’m terrified of letting them go. I know I’ve behaved wrong. I just couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. And I have to. It’ll hurt like hell seeing you every day and knowing we can’t be together. Please don’t leave. I need you in my life, even if only as a friend. No matter what happens, I will always have your back, and most importantly, will always love you. – Lucas.

Tears slipped down your cheeks as you held the letter. The truth, bottom line, simply, you couldn’t be without him in your life either. “I miss him,” you whispered and began to sob.

“You need to go to him,” Tony said softly.

“We could lose our careers!” you exclaimed.

“Does your career mean more than being with the guy you love?”

Lucas was sat on his bunk, staring absently out into the water of the adjoining tank wall. He pictured you, beautiful and graceful, swimming with Darwin, holding on to the dolphin’s fin, gliding through the water. His chest compressed and ached at the mere thought of it.

“Hey, Luke,” Tony’s voice came.

Lucas never even bothered to turn and look, his gaze still locked on the water. He then heard a sweet voice say his name, the voice of the one who caused this pain. Was he imagining it? Then the voice came again, paired with that familiar scent. He turned in confusion to see you standing beside Tony’s bunk, looking up at him with a smile.

Tony backed out of the room, feeling like a third wheel, but accomplished.

Lucas said your name and jumped down from the bunk. You both rushed together, stopping for a brief second to smile, your faces reflecting each other. Then you kissed, both of you groaning upon the impact. Lucas’ hand cupped your face and his other arm curled around your waist, bringing you in flush against him. His want of you was rising and he pulled away sharp. “I need to control myself when I’m with you,” he said, his blue eyes ablaze with lust and passion for you.

Both of you had only been physical a handful of times in your two-month long relationship, and this was out of fear of being caught. Lucas had grown to know his limits when with you, learning so much about what pleased both of you.

You fondly remembered one instance when you had made love in the Moon Pool whilst Darwin was out hunting fish. How could you possibly push all of this away? How long could you maintain the coldness of your façade towards him? The mask of a dedicated officer was slipping. True, you were dedicated to your duty, but your heart and yearning for Lucas was fast trumping that.

Lucas stayed with you that night in your quarters. To hell with the consequences, you had thought. And you made love for the first time in two weeks. The pace was slow, deep and passionate. As Lucas came, he groaned against your neck and told you he loved you.

“And I love you,” you whispered, kissing him softly.

You both remained together, basking in the afterglow of your intimacy. You lay facing each other beneath the warm blanket on your bed.

“Would you really give up your career for this if you had to?” you asked.

Lucas merely smiled and looked down. “I thought my answer to that would have been obvious.”

“I never imagined I’d ever be that to someone,” you said. “Least of all, someone like you.”

“Why do you say that?”

“You’ve got so much to lose, so much more than my ex fiancée ever did, but you still fight for me. He never did.”

“You were engaged?” Lucas asked in shock.

“It’s a part of my life that I rarely talk about. I was engaged when I was seventeen, and then we split just before I enlisted. He apparently fell out of love with me, but the truth is, I don’t think either of us were ever in love. It was just a relationship of convenience. I’ve had to rely on myself since, and myself alone. Maybe I want someone to look after me now.”

“I’ve got you,” Lucas told you, taking you in his arms. “I’d give all of this up in a heartbeat, my rank and seaQuest, so I could stay with you.”

As Lucas slept behind you, his arm draped over you, you began to think on the true reasons you’d submitted the transfer request. And there was still one question that needed to be asked. Did you do it to save Lucas’ career, or your own? It struck as both an act of selfish need and a need of selfless compassion. Which drive had been the strongest of the two? Or was it possibly a subconscious act of self-sabotage? A test to see how far Lucas would go for you? One thing was certain, if it was indeed a test intended for Lucas, he had passed with flying colours. None of it would let you rest. The questions, shame and self-hatred manifested more intensely as time went by that night.

You slipped out of bed a while later, your mind still racing. You had to force your hand to your mouth to stop Lucas being woken by your gasps.

You’re selfish. You did this just to save your own career, not Lucas’. You don’t love him. You’re just enjoying the thrill of him running around after you like a lost puppy.

The voice was growing stronger, becoming almost audible, almost real inside your head.

Lucas will find out and despise you. You’re selfish. You only pretend to care, when in actual fact you do everything just for yourself. Lucas deserves a beautiful girl, not an ugly, disgusting bitch like you, paying lip service to everyone just to make yourself look good.

It was after midnight when you stood in the calm atmosphere of the Moon Pool. Tears dripped into the tank as you stroked Darwin’s head. The dolphin knew something was wrong, sensing your turmoil. He bumped your hand, his squeals untranslated while the vocorder remained in its charging dock. His all-knowing eyes watched you in curiosity and suddenly you dropped backwards.

Fuck! Even Darwin knows! I’m a fake.

Panic struck you, the terror hitting you so hard like a hurricane. Thoughts and emotions swirled around you, a tornado of self loathing and hatred. You could feel your skin crawling, the sensation of bugs moving, becoming stronger. Until it all became too much and you lost consciousness, that feeling of dizziness pulling you under.

Lucas woke to see you gone and instantly jumped out of your bed, feeling a churn in his stomach. Something was wrong. He didn’t know how he knew it, but he did. He dashed out into the hallway to see Darwin hovering in the tank, his head moving in the way it always did when he was trying to ask for someone to follow.

Lucas followed Darwin back to the Moon Pool and rushed in, finding your body stretched out across the floor.

“Oh, no,” he whispered, getting down onto the ground next to you.

***

You opened your eyes to find yourself in the Med Bay; everything was empty and silent. There was only the beeping of the machines next to your bed. Wires were connected to you, keeping track of your heartbeat. The room was too silent for your liking, until a shadow began to move towards you. It was formless, only the outline of a person. It was hovering a few inches above the floor and moved towards you. As much as you wanted to scream, nothing came out of your mouth, not even breath. Every part of your body froze rigid and gradually the form began to develop, turning into a horrid creature. It had black eyes, fangs and blood dripping from its mouth. Its claws were outstretched, reaching for you.

The monitor next to you began to beep faster and faster. Until the doctor raced back in and saw you sat bolt upright in bed, your eyes wide and focused upon an area in front of you at the foot of the bed.

“Lieutenant?” he called. “Lieutenant?!”

No answer. Nothing else around you mattered, only the space before you.

The beeping got faster, until you dropped down on the bed and began to have a seizure. Your body contorted and your eyes rolled back in your head.

“What’s happening?” Lucas shouted, racing back in with a cup of coffee. He stood next to you, his hand brushing through your hair whilst he was on the verge of tears. He said your name over and over. “It’s okay. I’m here. I won’t leave you.”

“Please, move away, Ensign,” the doctor ordered, holding a syringe.

Finally, your body stopped convulsing and you went calm. The sedative relaxed your muscles, and you drifted into a dreamless sleep, for a short while. Your breathing and heart rate returned to normal, the beeping of your bedside monitor becoming less and less.

“What happened to her?” Lucas asked, stricken by fear and concern.

“She had a seizure. It seemed to be panic induced. I want to give her a full scan, see if there’s any signs of underlying epilepsy,” the doctor said. He looked almost a panicked as Lucas. “I’ve never seen this before, that’s if all her symptoms are linked and the same thing.”

“What are you going to do for her?” Lucas asked.

“Keep her sedated for a few hours and then gradually let her wake. The panic she was suffering was intense fear. Before you came into the room, she was bolt upright, eyes wide. She was looking at something there.” The doctor pointed to the space where you had been staring earlier.

Captain Hudson soon came to the Med Bay, his eyes darting to Lucas as soon as he entered the room. The scene before Hudson made a lump rise in his throat; his youngest crew member, Ensign Wolenczak, sitting with his head bowed in silence, his hand in yours, resting on the edge of your bed.

“How is she, Ensign?” Hudson asked.

Lucas jolted, startled by the Captain’s entrance. “Umm, the doctor has had to sedate her. She begun having hallucinations and had a seizure.” Lucas’ voice broke and he swallowed hard, staring at your pale face. He could see your eyes moving beneath your eyelids and he prayed that whatever you were dreaming was bringing you peace, not terror.

Hudson pulled a chair across and sat opposite your bed, looking across at Lucas, who quickly brushed tears away from his face with back of his hand. “I’m ….s…sorry, Sir,” he stuttered.

“Lucas?” the Captain asked. “It’s okay. She’ll get through this. She’s a fighter, and whatever is causing this, we’ll find a way to cure it.”

“Umm, can I stay with her, Sir?” Lucas asked. “I know that we’re not…”

Hudson felt a sudden surge in shame for his actions and sighed. “Take as long as you need, Ensign.”

******

A few pointers and references:

UEO - United Earth Oceans Organisation; this is the organisation that owns seaQuest and governs underwater territories. 

Darwin/vocorder/Lucas backstory - Darwin the dolphin has his whistles and squeals translated by a machine called a vocorder which was designed and created by Lucas Wolenczak (pronounced Wo-len-check), who is a genius and graduated from Stamford University at 16 and was put on the seaQuest by his father to work as a computer analyst. 

Dagwood - he is a GELF, commonly called a ‘dagger’ in the series. They were genetically engineered people who were used a lot in serving humankind. 

[thebookbud]

Thanks @anassarhenisch for the tag, I’m excited!

Make yourselves forget that the plague is a bitch BOOK edition

What’s the most recent book that you’ve read and absolutely fell in love with?

I’m not finished it, but I’d have to say It Calls from the Forest by various authors. It’s one I’m reading to review for BookSirens and honestly it’s just really fun spooky stories about the woods and I think I needed that. 

Do you keep track of how many books you’re reading every month?

Oh goodness, I’ve gone overboard. I keep a running tab of my page count too, separate from my tracking on Goodreads because me and close friend set page goals this year instead of strict book count goals...so yes...very much so. 

What’s your stance on the debate as to whether or not we should dissociate the artist from their art (artist = writer in this case)?

Interesting. I don’t really think you can. Of course there’s a level there that what they write about could be but I think how they go about is something we have to maintain as a part of their person. I don’t know if I can explain this right...horror authors aren’t bad people for liking dark artistic avenues, but if it’s apparent there’s a lack of humanity in their actual themes, like different prejudices showing as a non-negative in a non-satirical manner, that’s a reflection upon them. It’s a messy thing. But no, overall, there’s a semblance of themselves in their work and that has to be taken into account always. 

What do you do when you can’t focus on a book?

It sits on a shelf until I get back to it. Or I force my way through it. I think I have this attachment issue with books that I feel like at some point it will hold my attention, when I’m ready for it.

Do you pay attention to the gender/ethnicity/race/sexuality of the authors you’re reading, aka do you actively try to read books written by diverse writers?

I am actually the worst at this, my personal views are highly inclusive but considering I predominately read in a male controlled genre, I just read whatever I like the idea of reading without taking authors into account until I’ve decided if I enjoy their style or not.

Paperback or hardcover? Why?

I’m sorry I can’t give any strait answers. I love all formats, but hardcovers are generally display only for me, unless already used. Paperbacks are just more convenient to read and carry around. 

Which language would you like to learn just to be able to read its untranslated literature?

I think Russian, German is a close second but yeah I think Russian for sure. 

Pick up the book that is closest to you. Convince me to read it in less than 10 sentences.

Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson. I mean come on, who doesn’t want an epic fantasy with end of world bearing politics and characters with elite powers? I mean, have you ever heard a sword scream? How about seen a man fly? Welcome to Roshar. The world is ending. Powers beyond us humans are fighting oh and the Sprens are the best. I would die for them.  

Haha this was cute thanks again. I’m gonna go ahead and tag @ohwhatbookishdelights @reedyalikeabook @kandidlyrandom @readingismywholelife @lykareads @princessofbookaholics @fabbyale @themelodyofspring @justablueeyedfangirl and anyone please literally anyone else that I missed that wants to do it! 

[summonerscenarios]

Heyya everyone~! Been wanting to make a Housamo blog for a while now and finally caved. So what better way to start this blog off than by laying down the rules page! ^^

Please specify whether you’d like a headcanon or scenario (if it’s not specified the default will be headcanons~!)

The default is gender neutral so if you’d like a specific gender be sure to mention it in your request.

The more characters in a request the longer it will take so please keep that in mind when sending requests – I can get headcanons done a lot faster than scenarios!

For Match-ups the general format is: A general description of yourself, preferences, personality, hobbies/likes, dislikes and any other information you’d like to add! Including these kinds of things is the best way for me to be able to match you up the best that I can.

I can write NSFW so feel free to send the sin this way~! If you’re not sure about what kinda stuff is okay don’t be afraid to drop a message!

The majority of the stuff that’s gonna be on here is X Reader stuff since that’s what I’m the most used to writing! That will probably change as I get back into writing.

 I’ve currently caught up on all of the English content in Housamo thus far so those are the characters/ events that I work best with! However I’ll definitely try to take a crack at characters from untranslated events/parts if you request them.

I haven’t written fandom related stuff for some time so my skills are gonna be rusty so please bear with me as I get through requests! ^^ (Also I’ll probably drop my Housamo art here from time to time too)

Aaaaand I think that’s about it~! Feel free to drop me a message if you have any questions and I look forward to writing for you all! Till then!  

- Juno  (◕◡◕✿)

[fanyiyimdzs]

I think I'm going to go back and standardize how I translate certain terms, because a few of them I've been a bit inconsistent on. I'm also going to revisit some decisions I made at the spur of the moment (because that's how I started this in the first place 😅). So things might get revised a little--bear with me through the early installment weirdness. (You'll notice that I revise stuff after it gets posted sometimes anyway, usually for typos, but yesterday I revised like the first third of chapter 2 because I decided I hated a lot of the prose.) This is actually my first time doing a fan translation, so it's been a bit of a learning process.

I'm going to think out loud for a moment (also so I have a record to look back on for standardization purposes, and because this is actually my least favorite part of translation, and, imo--despite the amount of attention these particular types of translation issues get in fandom--the least important, but I have to fix it up sooner or later). Some of these aren't changes, I'm just going to list them to have them all in one place.

If you don't want to read all this but are interested in voicing your opinion, you can skip to the end for the list of things I particularly want to hear feedback on.

Clan related

氏 -> clan - I know a lot of people are used to “sect” but many many rounds of character flashcards have drilled it into me that this means “clan” or “family” 😅

家族 -> house, eg. House Lan - I had been translating this as “family” but now that I think about it carefully, “house” sounds better and avoids confusion with the ordinary word “family.” Plus the fewer syllables set translations have, the better, in my opinion. Makes it easier to write prettier sentences. One is not more or less accurate than the other (and in fact, House probably has connotations closer to 家族). Thoughts?

宗主 -> Clan Master - I had been using “Lord” because of its simplicity, but I'm not in love with it and it does sound too European. I like the symmetry with “young master” and it sounds nicer to me than “Clan Leader.” Don't like the number of syllables, but I guess you win some, you lose some. Thoughts on this too?

公子/前辈/子弟+后辈 -> young master/senior/junior - these are good translations, will stay. Although I'll probably change 前辈 when used as a title. It would sound strange for Lan Sizhui to refer to WWX as Senior Wei all the time (it'll probably be “Master Wei” instead).

师姐/师弟/etc. (shijie, shidi, etc.) - honestly, not sure about this one. When used as an address, I'll probably change it with the person's name unless the dialogue is specifically stressing the family-like relationship. When used as a regular word in a sentence I'll probably go with sister/brother unless the fact that they're not blood relatives is relevant, in which case I'll add “clan” in front. This seems like it'll work better as context dependent than a set translation.

老祖 -> grandmaster - tempted to go with “Old Master” instead kind of on analogy with the painters and because 老 literally means “old,” but it would probably sound strange to have WWX constantly referred to as “old” lol. 夷陵老祖 will be either the Grandmaster of Yiling or Yiling Grandmaster depending on which better fits the tone/rhythm of the sentence.

Magicky supernatural stuff

阴虎符 -> Yin Tiger Talisman - I thought about a billion different translations for 阴, but honestly, none of them work. English speakers are familiar with the word 阴 through “yin-yang” anyway (it's the dark component). So 阴 is Yin. I also hate “Stygian” with a passion lol -- how many people even know what that means, like 0.1% of the population? Might as well just keep it Yin if no one is going to understand anyway. (For a similar reason, stop translating 风水 as “geomancy,” Netflix--way more people have heard of fengshui than geomancy!)

To be honest, I'm not thrilled with the “tiger” part, and am tempted to keep it untranslated. Yinhu Talisman or Yin Hu Talisman sounds better to me. What do you guys think? Is “tiger” important?

I picked “talisman” because I thought it ultimately was the most accurate and clearest translation. It is a talisman. Not thrilled about the number of syllables, but I'll go with accuracy this time.

符篆 -> seal or paper seal (if it's a paper seal) - don't have much to say about this one

祟 -> spirit - can someone confirm or deny for me whether 邪祟 is a generic term for all types of spookies in MDZS? It's a bit unclear for me from the text

妖/魔/鬼/怪 -> fae/demon/ghost/monster - guess I'll just stick with the usual translations. Tweaking fairy to fae to make it less benign-sounding. also I need to go back and change a few occurrences of “demon” to “ghost” 😅

妖魔鬼怪 -> evil spirits? - struggling with the single phrase generic term. Anyone who is a super expert on the minute details, does 妖魔鬼怪 = 邪祟?

厉鬼 -> vicious ghost

走尸 -> walking corpse

凶尸 -> fierce corpse

刀 -> sabre

Sword names will probably stay untranslated, although I'm tempted to render Suibian as “Whatever” or “Anything” to make the joke work.

Miscellaneous

断袖 -> gay or other appropriate synonym that will be understood without explanation - I love the story of Emperor Ai too, but I want this translation to be idiomatic and not require explanations to understand beyond what is absolutely necessary.

乱葬岗 -> Burial Mounds - I like this translation a lot

I probably missed some stuff, and sorry for the rambliness but anyway this is your chance to register an opinion before I go back and edit these changes in. Answer any or all:

1. 家族 - House or family? Or do people really love 氏 = sect and 家族 = clan that much?

2. 宗主 - Clan Master, yes or no? Or other suggestions?

3. Ideas for 师姐 (“shijie”), etc.? Otherwise, I think I'll keep this one on a case-by-case basis

4. 老祖 - anyone have any better ideas than “grandmaster”? Otherwise I think that's what I'll stick with.

5. Yin Tiger Talisman, Yinhu Talisman, or Yin Hu Talisman? From an aesthetic standpoint, the middle one is my favorite, but the others are slightly more transparent as far as meaning.

6. Does 邪祟 = 妖魔鬼怪? Someone link me to a detailed taxonomy of the undead please

7. Does Suibian stay Suibian, or get turned into something that will make the joke about its name work in English? If the latter, should the other sword names be translated too so Suibian isn't literally the only with an English name?

[septembriseur]

If anyone doubts that my entire life consists merely in writing the same story over and over, please peruse this short piece that I wrote in 2006 and just dug up from a box:

A Clay Soldier on Horseback From a Child’s Grave at Carchemish

On the banks of the Euphrates River, which flowed from the Garden of Eden as appointed by God, they found the city in ruins, still bearing remnants of its Bronze Age. The dust rose up off the stones so thick it could choke you, and the air was alien and bright. Lawrence took to wearing Arab clothing; all of them occasionally did. He lived the sparsest of all in his little stone room, where by night he could hear the slow waves of that water called by the Israelites haNahar, that is, the River, which alone bore its tides of green and foreign life through Doughty’s deserta.

By day all the Englishmen dug for their peculiar treasure, the sand-bitten rocks of Hittite glory. They found great stellae and statues of lions. So much was engraved with that peculiar cuneiform, a relic of the Luwian days. The Arabs at the site, who could not read it, shrugged their shoulders and dug up these worthless stones and accepted their pay.

Lawrence read Greek when the day was at its hottest or when he could not sleep. The age of it was astonishing. In France years ago cycling to the Mediterranean he had reached the coast and shouted, Thalassa! Thalassa! Each syllable had left him more shaken. He thought it was impossible to imagine anything as old or as terrifying as the sea.

He made few friends. One, a boy, Dahoum. They exchanged clothes and took each other’s photographs beneath the low shade of a cavern, laughing. Later Dahoum tried to kiss him and said something in Arabic that Lawrence didn’t understand. The Euphrates was especially loud that night. The untranslated words haunted him. He imagined them to have some secret meaning, a subtlety which he would never be fluent enough to comprehend. Thinking back he realized that he did not even remember the words themselves, though the imprint of them remained tantalizing and clear.

The next day at the archeological site they uncovered three more of the Luwian tablets which they could not read. They found also a child’s grave, containing a number of ceremonial artifacts, among them a clay statue of a soldier on horseback. Lawrence touched it, wondering at its ferocious expression, its tremendous age. The clay left a thin and ancient residue across his fingers. He went to the river and washed his hands clean.

***

It was said by many that Lawrence was the most extraordinary figure at the Paris Peace Conference of 1919. A small serious individual clothed half the time in olive drab and half of the time in Arab robes, he entranced. While translating for the Emir Faisal, in his capacity as a British officer but wearing a headdress as an Arab would, Lawrence was once called upon before the Council of Ten to perform an impromptu rendition of the Emir’s speech on Arab democracy in French. He did so without a single misstep and was applauded as one would applaud a musician at the end of a particularly well-played sonata. It was a magnificent performance. Everyone said so.

Afterwards he went out cycling in the French countryside, breathing the free air. It tasted nothing like Arabia. The green of France oppressed him. He thought, I must get out of here, and then almost immediately: Wherever I’m to go, I might as well get there at top speed.

***

Years later in Miranshah, where the Indian mountains rose high and rocky on all sides, Lawrence translated the Odyssey. The Greek fitted itself slowly to his hand. Meanwhile he wrote endless correspondence on foolscap paper, so thin that the ink soaked through. He dreamed of Odysseus adrift upon an ink-black sea. The sea was so like the desert, in some ways. Sand and waves shifted and erased any trace of where you’d been. 

In a letter to Charlotte Shaw dated the sixteenth of June, 1928, which was lost somewhere en route to England and thus did not survive, Lawrence wrote, “...Then I went to Carchemish and was scoured clean. It’s funny what the heat and dust will do to you in Arabia. I found myself thinking (& still do) that it mightn’t be so bad if the Euphrates dried up, and we had Armageddon, as the Bible says. Then we would all be scoured to dust.”

He did not write to her about his nightmares, which were not of the Arab Revolt, but of the voyage home from Troy. He stood alone on the deck of a trireme in the midst of a storm. The god Poseidon came to him carrying two stone tablets. Carved on them in cuneiform, half-erased with age, were the words which Dahoum had once spoken in Carchemish. He could not read them.

“Tell me what is written,” Poseidon said, “and I will let you go free.”

In the dream he wept. But Dahoum had been dead for ten years by then, and he did not know where he would go if he were free.

***

In a recent, unpublished memoir, the renowned poet and novelist Virginia Lee relates several anecdotes of interest concerning her brief friendship with Colonel Lawrence in Oxford, after the end of the war. Although she observed the fits of odd and manic hilarity which others have described, Lawrence struck her on the whole as being troubled. She remembers seeing in his rooms at college many artifacts of his Arab campaigns, including a well-preserved prayer rug, several large daggers, and a small statue of a clay soldier on horseback.

Miss Lee adds that she was among those, including the poet Graves, who witnessed the famous incident at All Souls, wherein Colonel Lawrence situated in his window a bell captured from the Tel Shaum station of the Turkish Hijaz and proceeded in the middle of the night to ring it so loudly that the entire quadrangle of the college was made like unto the reverberate hills. She says it was a pleasing sound, very foreign and like the bell of a harbor buoy that calls ships home, and that though Lawrence rang it and rang it, the college remained dark and still.