#Playing fortnite and almost fell asleep eating dinner

[pronounrespector]

Omg I forgot to say good morning

[crushedsweets]

Who are the people that Toby likes the most?

Natalie, Jack, and Ben!

Toby has known Natalie for about 5 years, and Jack for 4, and Ben for 3. ok now im gonna do long ass headcanons for their relationships bc im just soooooooo silly . .

toby and natalie knew eachother when they were at the height of like.. using murder as a relief/power trip. it was a really sick and fucked up thing to bond over, and it wasnt something either of them took lightly or as a joke. but it was something they did talk about, moreso 'let me tell you about my night' and they'd kinda just allude to the murder part of it. eventually, natalie stopped killing as much (and stuck strictly to freak weirdo men at bars/clubs who try taking advantage of ppl). toby doesn't have the luxury to stop bc he only did it when the situation/order calls for it.

they usually just lounge around together. watch trash reality tv, natalie was ashamed of her art for a while but toby loves getting her to show him her stuff. toby taught her how to axe throw and cut down trees. he helped fix up the barn she stays in so it's actually livable. he even got brian to help with shit like insulation cuz theres no heat/ac in it. sometimes he does her hair if shes having an awful night. she never had someone to brush her hair growing up, having no mother/sister/girl friends, and finds it to be insanely fucking relaxing. lulls her to sleep so quick. it reminds toby of lyra and he cried one time after she fell asleep from it. she never found out about it.

toby was the first proxy to be nice to jack. not that tim and brian were horrible to jack (only after he was . . 'tamed' i guess). but toby was the first one to like, bring him things, talk to him, actually attempt bonding. if tobys feeling lonely and natalies not in the mood to entertain, jack was almost always welcoming. ok maybe not welcoming in the like :) hiiii toby. way. but in the. 'ok yea whatever come in i guess' way.

jack used to cook a lot before he was sacrificed. now he doesnt have the same taste buds, and while he can eat human food, its all pretty bland to him. best he can enjoy is insanely spicy stuff, and thats more sensation rather than flavor. BUT TOBY. that fucking dude can EAT. he's brought like a fat steak and veggies and rice and random shit to jacks and asked him to make him dinner. and oddly enough jack was willing to do it. toby continued to do that stuff. jack didnt know about tobys CIPA for a while and was baffled when this white boy from rural colorado could actually handle the spice anytime jack made south asian food LOL.. ("how much spice do you want" "i dont care make it as spicy as you like" "toby are you sure of this" "yeah i can take it").

of the 3, toby is the least close to ben. mostly bc ben is best fucking friends w jeff and toby doesnt like jeff very much(who does?). plus toby figured ben was like a kid and wasnt exactly crazy about being besties with a 12 yr old. But then ben played some video games with him. ben doesnt really Act like an. ipad fortnite tiktok middle shcool type of kid so toby was like Oh he's cool i guess.!

they dont have much in common at all tbh, didnt have similar childhoods and toby didnt play many video games growing up. BUT toby finds so much joy in just having a fucking boyish childish fun stupid relationship where he could play video games and talk shit and eat like crap with yk. they have a very brotherly friendship and it's kinda weird for toby being on the big sibling side of something, but he's fond of it. they get into petty arguments about stupid shit, and went a while without talking bc toby punched jeff and jeff was bitching like 'uumm dont hang out with that prick' and ben was like lmfao ok. toby didnt even realize ben wasnt talking to him tho. . ("hey sorry i was avoiding u jeff was bitching" "u were avoiding me ?????")

[prettywordsyouleft]

An Unwanted First

Prompt: #12 for @inulovekawaii13 – “I love you even if you fart in your sleep”

inulovekawaii13 said:

If you are still doing the drabble game, could you do #12 with Mark from got7?

Pairing: Mark Tuan x reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

Word count: 1255

Getting a boyfriend came with a lot of firsts. Some were endearing, like the first kiss together or the first time you received a gift from each other. And others took a little to get used to, like meeting Mark’s friends for the first time and not knowing what to say when Jackson is screaming at BamBam across the room. But you got used to Mark’s friends, just as much as you were comfortable at reaching for his hand, kissing him on the cheek and hugging him all the time.

What you weren’t ready for, however, was staying overnight for the first time.

It wasn’t your first time at Mark’s apartment. You often came over to watch movies together, play games, or cook meals for him. Yet there was always an end to the night, with you reaching up to kiss him softly and him whispering for you to have sweet dreams before you went down to your car, driving back to your own home alone. After four months of dating though, the time had come. You had often believed this would have occurred naturally. Where you both fell asleep on the sofa playing games and woke up the next morning, staring at each other in a sleepy state of disbelief. You had imagined what would follow, an endearing morning routine where you ate breakfast together, legs curled up in each other as you proclaimed how much you wanted to wake up like this every day.

Your visions were idyllic but didn’t eventuate. Instead, Mark had asked you to come over, this time with an overnight bag. “Why?”

“I don’t want to kiss you goodnight by my front door, Y/N,” he explained and you had blushed, knowing he had the intent of sleeping with you in his arms for this occasion. And you were pretty sure that sleep was meant to come after, well, after some deeper intimacy.

Just thinking about spending the night with Mark made your heart flutter erratically.

You had turned up on his doorstep at the proposed time, smiling shyly at Mark when he opened the door. He grinned and pulled you into his home, pressing you into the entryway wall as he showered you in kisses. You started to wonder if you would be doing anything else but learning all about each other physically for the first time then. But Mark eventually pulled away and smiled gently this time around. “Hi.”

“Hi,” you greeted, feeling a little weak from how much your head was spinning. “That was some greeting.”

“Well, hopefully this will be some dinner too,” he mentioned, ushering you over to the kitchen where everything was smelling divine. Mark started busying himself with dishing up the meal and you gasped when you saw how good it looked.

“When did you learn to make something like this?”

He shrugged. “This afternoon? I hope it’s okay though, I think I put in a little too many onions. Just pick them out if it’s too many.”

After sitting down at the table together, you took a mouthful of the stew and grinned brightly. “It’s delicious.”

You didn’t think of how those onions were going to affect your evening. For some time, the aftermath of having such a flavourful meal didn’t present itself, and you were highly engaged in battling it out with Mark in Fortnite when you first felt the rumble in your stomach. You grimaced and it thankfully went unnoticed, until you stood up suddenly. You smiled weakly at Mark. “I uh, just need the bathroom!”

And once you were in there, you realised the implications of your evening. “No, no no!” you breathed exasperatedly, hoping that with this trip to the bathroom, the unsettled state of your stomach would ease off.

It did, but not for long. You were fighting throughout the night, holding in your flatulence or dashing off to the bathroom when you couldn’t cope anymore, making Mark worry about you. “Is everything okay?”

“Of course!” you chimed, discreetly wiping the sheen of sweat from your face from your efforts. You never knew holding it in could be so detrimental and make all of your body overwork until now. But you didn’t want your first night together to be remembered with you farting loudly or something of the like. Just imagining it made you consider feigning illness and going home instead.

However, you had gotten ready for bed with Mark, and you had even climbed into his bed, momentarily stunned by the experience of being in his bedroom for the first time like this. And when Mark pulled you into his arms tenderly, you were swept away in a heady realm of lust, kissing him passionately until your body clenched - and not in a good way.

“Excuse me, I just-”

You darted out of the bed and off to the bathroom, groaning at how untimely this all was. When you returned, Mark was sitting up, looking hesitant. “Do you just want to cuddle and go to sleep? If you’re too nervous, we don’t have to, you know. I want you to be comfortable when we first become more intimate.”

It tore you apart to nod your head softly, using the excuse of the nerves he assumed you had about having sex to your advantage. Settling down in his arms, you prayed that sleep would come for you quickly and take away all your problems with it.

When you woke the next morning, you stretched and rolled over, right into Mark’s slumbering side. You instantly remembered where you were and smiled at the sight of seeing Mark first thing after waking up. This is what you had hoped for all along, and it almost salvaged the poor end to last night.

You groaned as you thought back over it all and realised Mark was staring at you when you finally stopped ruminating. He reached up to cup your cheek affectionately. “Morning, baby.”

“Good morning,” you replied softly, leaning in to kiss him. When you pulled away, his gaze was unreadable. “What?”

“It finally smells okay in here,” he murmured and you frowned, trying to understand what he meant. Your mind flashed back to last night and you gasped noisily, backing away from him. “You farted so much in your sleep.”

“Oh my God!” you wailed, utterly embarrassed. Had he not wrapped his arms around your waist then, you would have climbed out of the bed in haste. Your face couldn’t get any redder than it was now.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were having problems after eating the meal? I thought you were not feeling the night with me and wanted to go home with how often you went to the bathroom.”

You groaned and hoped the ground would open up and take you away right there and then. You never expected to have a first experience like this.

“Did you think that I would be bothered if you farted in front of me?” he continued, his tone heavy with amusement. “You do know every human farts, right? I do. Quite often. I’ve even farted around you.”

“PLEASE JUST STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!” you pleaded, completely mortified.

Mark eased up on his teasing, smiling at you warmly instead. “I love you, even if you fart in your sleep.”

“You what?”

“You can fart whenever-”

“No,” you cut in, shaking your head softly. “You said something else.”

“I love you?”

Nodding, you smiled and wrapped your arms around Mark’s neck. “That’s the first time you’ve said that.”

_________________

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[bloodlinesbabe93]

Scared Chapter 2

@thebutterflygirl16

I didn't sleep at all last night. I laid on the couch and listened to Adam as he snored the entire night. I was too afraid he'd try something if I fell asleep. I had decided to get up around 7, and go downstairs to eat breakfast before anyone else got up. I quietly slipped out of our room, making my way down to the lobby, where free breakfast awaited me. I loaded my plate and quickly ate all of it. I was starving from not eating the night before. 

I threw my plate away, and attempted to slip back into our room, before Adam woke up. but when I walked back in, he was already awake, and moving.

"good morning Olivia" he says gently. 

"good morning" I mumble. 

"we're gonna meet down in the lobby soon for breakfast if you want to join" he says. I thought about it for a second, and decided to go, I had already eaten, so the least I could do is drink some more coffee. he smiled when I agreed to go down to breakfast with them. 

"good morning guys" Roddy says as we enter into the lobby. where he and Kyle were already waiting. Bobby came down just a few moments later. The guys each fixed their plate of food, while I grabbed a cup of coffee and sat at the table. 

"aren't you going to eat?" Adam asks as he walked over to the table. I shook my head and took a drink of my coffee. I could tell he had concern in his eyes.

"I already ate" I say quietly. I could tell that made him feel a little better, but i could he was unsure of whether or not he could believe me.  the others joined our table, each of them having the same look of concern on their faces. I knew I couldn't tell them. I couldn't break down my barriers. after they finish eating, we return to our rooms to get our bags, and load the car. I found out that today was strictly a travel day. we had to be in San Diego by tomorrow afternoon, which meant driving all day. 

I was exhausted. I hadn't slept since my nap last night when they stopped for dinner. and that only lasted maybe an hour. I knew I had to stay awake. I couldn't fall asleep around them. I didn't trust them. I walked back into the room behind Adam, finished packing my few last minute items, and started to wheel my bags out. once again walking behind Adam. as we got to the car, Adam took my bags and loaded them into the car while I slipped into my seat. this time being between Adam and Roddy. 

As Kyle started driving, I could feel my eyes getting really heavy. I was trying everything in my power to stay awake. 

"you look exhausted" Roddy says. all I could do was nod. 

"didn't sleep?" Kyle asks. I shook my head 

"let me guess, Cole's snoring kept you awake" Bobby says. I nodded again, not wanting to tell them the truth.

"sorry, next time wake me up so i'll stop" Adam says. 

"try and take a nap, we've got a long drive ahead of us" Roddy says

I knew I had to stay awake. i'd try to sleep some when they stopped for lunch, and dinner. each passing moment got harder and harder to keep my eyes open. but I knew I had to keep fighting it. 

"why are you fighting sleep?" Adam asks. I remained silent, afraid to speak. he continued to watch me as I fought to keep my eyes open. I could feel my anxiety level start to rise. I hated people staring at me. I could feel the tears starting to come, once I noticed that Roddy was also looking in my direction. I brought my knees to my chest. placing my head into my knees. this was one of my many defense mechanisms. i'd curl up in a ball. it helped me feel safer. 

"you okay?" Adam gently asks. once again I remained silent. afraid to speak, knowing they would hear the panic in my voice. I felt a hand on my back, which caused me to jump. Adam looked at me with worry once he saw the tears in my eyes. "Olivia, what's wrong" he asks. I shook my head this time unable to speak.

"dude leave her alone, you're just making it worse" Kyle says

great now they all think i'm a freak. I finally got my breathing under control. and the tears were almost gone. I put my feet back in the floor. sitting up in my seat. now I was wide awake.

"you okay?" Roddy asks gently. I nod. still not able to speak.

"I know you don't really know us that well yet, but whatever is going on you can talk to any of us. we care about you, and hate to see such a beautiful girl upset" Bobby says.  the others agreed with him. but I knew they had to be lying. me beautiful? yeah right. 

"he means it you know, we all really care about you, even though we just met you yesterday" Adam says. they wouldn't understand. I had to stay strong. no matter how genuine they sound.

"can we get to know you a bit?" Kyle asks. I sighed but slowly nod. 

"did you grow up a fan of wrestling?" Adam asks

"yeah, I started watching when I was 12" 

"who did you idolize growing up?" Roddy asks

"Mostly Eddie Guerrero, and Rey Mysterio"

"both great choices" Roddy says

"the feud they had in 2005 was what really got me into wrestling"

"so how old are you now?" Bobby asks

"25" I say quietly, knowing I was younger than all of them

 "when did you start wrestling?" Kyle asks

"when I was 19, just graduated high school, and didn't want to go to college"

"so you've been wrestling for 6 years?" Roddy asks

"yeah, actually last month was 6 years in the business."

"worst injury?" Adam asks

"I've never had a wrestling related injury, but I've broken both arms, and bruised my ribs" I didn't want to tell them about all the other injuries ive had from years of abuse.

"how did you get them?" Kyle asks

"I broke my arms by falling off a swing set, the left one when I was 4, the right one when I was 8. and my bruised ribs, I had just stepped on the slip n slide to go down again when someone hit me, I went flying in the air and landed hard on my back. it knocked the wind out of me. I don't know how I didn't get a concussion, my head hit the ground hard"

"oh my god, i'm glad you're okay" Adam says

"me too, that was the scariest injury I've ever had. just having the wind knocked out of me terrified me. and afterward being in so much pain, it was horrible"

"yeah, anything involving the ribs is not fun" Roddy says

"no it isn't"

"where did you grow up?" Adam asks

"born and raised in Cincinnati, but I just moved to Florida because of NXT"

"Cincinnati has some of the most passionate wrestling fans. I loved doing ROH shows there" Adam says

"yeah, I loved it. I worked for smaller promotions all around the Midwest, this is the first big time shot I've had."

"well so far you're doing great. you really took it to Nikki last night" Kyle says

"yeah until she threw me into the announce desk" 

"how are you feeling after that?" Adam asks

"my back hurts, but I've had worse"

he puts his hand on my back, and starts to rub it. but the action causes me to flinch

"oh sorry did I hurt you?" he asks

"no, I just scare easily"

"yeah we noticed, why do you get scared easily?" Bobby asks

"I don't want to talk about it. you guys wouldn't understand"

"hey just because we don't understand, doesn't mean we don't care or want to help" Adam says gently

"I guess without going into a lot of details, I've gone through too much, that nobody should ever have to go through."

"you don't have to tell us, but if you ever want to talk, we're here" Adam says, placing his hand on my knee. 

I could see just how genuine these four really were. I could feel myself starting to become comfortable around them. but I couldn't let my walls down. not after last time.

"what kind of stuff do you do when you aren't wrestling?" Bobby asks

"write, read, play video games, and sleep" 

"oh a gamer, nice. what do you play?" Adam asks

"grand theft auto, fortnite, call of duty. even though i'm horrible at all of them"

"you can't be that bad" he says

"oh I am"

"what kind of movies do you like?" Kyle asks

"I don't really watch movies, i'm still a kid and love Disney movies though. they're my favorite" I say quietly

"hey nothing wrong with that." Adam says

"do you have a favorite?" Roddy asks

"The Little Mermaid for sure, if I could turn into a mermaid and escape humans I would"

"hey we aren't that bad are we?" Adam says jokingly

"okay most humans. plus I love the water."

"good thing you live in Florida then, you're surrounded by water." Adam says

"I love the water, but hate the beach. I hate the sand"

"you're crazy, the beach is so relaxing" Roddy says

"i'd rather be in the mountains somewhere, with a swimming pool than surrounded by the ocean and sand"

"i'm going to have to change your mind about the beach" Adam says

"good luck with that" I say letting out a big yawn

"you know we still have a while to go, if you want to take a nap" Roddy says

"i'll be fine, maybe i'll be able to sleep tonight"

"you sure? you can rest your head on my shoulder if you want" Adam says

"yeah i'll be fine"

I however I wasn't fine. as I leaned my head back onto the headrest, I knew it would be a challenge to stay awake. since the conversation had died down, I had nothing to distract me. I felt my eyes getting heavier and heavier, I felt Adam wrap his arm around me, and gently pull me so I could rest my head on his shoulder. I was to tired to even fight it. 

I was slowly letting my walls down. no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stay as strong as I was. they continued to break down the walls of my heart

[sheusedtobesassier]

Day 10,411

That one night in the Maintenance Shop. Alone together without turning any lights on. I don't remember what I was going on about but your reaction was to press your forehead into my shoulder and mumble, "I feel like you're saying you're never going to need me."

Mm. The evening we were sitting in the Lodge after dinner and Amber genuinely asked what your plans were for the winter. You expressed your uncertainty and did it in a way I thought came across pretty careless and rude. Your response set me off so I promptly stomped up to my office. You called to me on the stairs, "Hey you okay?" I said I wasn't and kept walking. I was very suddenly super not okay actually. I left my lights off and put on a Jane Goodall documentary hoping it would help. I was rapidly reaching an uncontrollable distressed state and was eager to come back down. It took some time but eventually you knocked and quietly entered. You sat waiting for me to explain for a good while as I just fidgeted uncomfortably at my desk. I couldn't speak. Physically. I'm not kidding. Then you left. I think a couple hours passed and cooled me off enough to ask if you'd come back up so we could talk. For whatever reason we had the conversation in Jeremy's office. This was the night you told me that you were probably leaving camp soon, expressed it as some extremely high percentage. (Timeline-wise, this was more than a year prior to your actual departure. You were kind of always ready to leave though, huh?) This was also the night we discussed how neither of us were really believers in the concept of long distance relationships. We momentarily imagined what it would be like to break up while we were both still on staff/still living on the campgrounds. If I remember correctly, I think it was you that said that perhaps we should just "pull the parachute now before we crash full speed into the ground." I do not remember how this discussion wrapped up. I really wish that I could.

There was a big one very near the end. It was a day off and we spent a majority of it apart. You were staying put in your little prayer chapel, drinking beer and playing Fortnite with your buddies. You came by around 5 o'clock and you were clearly in a certain kind of mood, lol. We fooled around, but not much. It started getting weird when you very suddenly fell asleep haha. You took a little nap but I was seriously hungry. I shook you so we could go grab dinner somewhere. You woke up pretty far gone and I was pretty amused. Things turned pretty suddenly. You were staring at your open palms looking wildly distraught. When I inquired you quickly burst into tears. (I rarely saw you cry.) You kept apologizing and at first I thought it was because you felt bad for getting drunk. But then you started rambling about how you were going to go. You weren't making any sense. And I think you kept saying I was mad at you? I was baby talking you, running my hands through your hair, telling you to settle down and that it was okay. But I was honestly getting frustrated. It felt like you had found a way to express the heavy things you needed to, but because you were drunk you could say your side without having to listen to mine. It wasn't fair. I felt tricked. Uh. We went to Culver's. Lol. It was like a half hour drive and by the time we got there you'd come down some. We sat outside to eat and I remember being pretty cold to you. You were embarrassed I think. Apologetic for the breakdown. I was confused and hurt. On the drive back I played a bittersweet Noah Gundersen album loud enough to keep any conversation from happening. I hoped you were listening but you probably weren't haha. You never seemed to like music I liked. Um. By the time we got back I was all bristles and thorns. Angry. Which. Look it's how I felt. It was not a wise or helpful feeling. But. It was what I was. You tried to smooth things over but I like, I couldn't even let you touch me. I sat myself on the ground in my bedroom doorway and closed up. I told you to leave and you did. I tried to go to bed but I couldn't come off it. Txted you an apology for not handling it softer. You responded with an apology for being "so lost." I think I ended up going over and crawling in your bed. Yeah I decided to quit making it about me and let it be about you. Considered it more important/beautiful to be with you in your lostness than to focus on my own hurt feelings. Which. I was right. Putting your emotions before mine was unnatural for me, but I truly attempted to learn to do it for your sake. I wanted to get better at it. I tried.

The night I watched that outrageous sunset as a storm was coming in and it thoroughly disturbed me. There was a prayer gathering that night in the staff lounge. The choose your own adventure kind. Prompts provided in a slideshow and worship music playing on the big speakers. Public privacy. I was unsettled and trying to write about it. Impostor bullshit. Feeling like I was living a life I had no desire to participate in. That all the wildest good things I wanted were out of reach because I'd chosen the wrong choices too long ago. I was stretched out on a couch while you and some buddies were sat on the floor with your backs against it. You guys were not into the scene, whispering a lot and goofing off. I was mildly annoyed that high schoolers could use you as an excuse for bad behavior and that took me in an ugly direction. I think I still have the aggravation paragraph I wrote out that night. I just was suddenly so utterly convinced that you didn't actually want me and/or didn't want to understand me. I was not important to you. I knew it. I don't know why I latched onto it so hard but I did. Ruthlessly. I went home and the later it got the more rigid I got and fucked up I felt. The rain and lightning and thunder started coming in hot. A late summer thunderstorm. I had followed the rules and stayed out of your bed for a couple months, but that night I was unraveling. Close to midnight I walked over to your front door and completely coming apart. You let me in, surprised but not that surprised. I was silent. Crawled right into your bed. You asked if I was okay and offered me some kombucha. I said no to both and returned to silence. You were up playing Fortnite and returned to it. I laid there needing to be touched. I listened to the rain and told myself to appreciate the feeling of being something in your room because it wasn't going to last. My head was a fucking swarm of bee sting thoughts that night and I don't think you had any idea. After maybe fifteen minutes you logged out and turned your lights off. You got in the bed and reached for me and I pulled the fuck away. You were concerned but you were never one to push. You closed your eyes. I was all stiff, all fury. I sat up suddenly. You pulled a shirt on and turned a lamp on then sleepy eyes asked what was wrong. And yeah, I fucking rambled. Went for it. Couldn't stop. I remember saying that you didn't understand how hard it was. How I was constantly trying to figure out if you had already made up your mind to leave me. How there were always signs of it. You calmly but firmly stated that you would tell me if that was true and that for now you were still here. You didn't offer any comfort or reassurance. Which. I don't say that as a bad thing. You would of been lying if you told me I didn't have any reason to be upset. The little you said confirmed that my insecurities were valid. I couldn't shut up and nothing coming out of my mouth was helpful at all. I needed you to offer hope and you just wouldn't. I abruptly had to leave. Had to. I stumbled getting out of your bed, knocking into the lamp, I was hurrying to get out of there. You offered a jacket since it was raining hard. I was out the door before I said no. Sobbed the short walk to my apartment. Gasped for air while I wrote to my sister about how I just didn't know how to get you to want to keep me. I went to sleep and you went to sleep. Um. Then. I think four days passed in which we did not speak. Uhhhh. Yeah this part of the story is fucked up. I kept waiting and hoping you would initiate repair. Like I said above, I was deep down believing you didn't want me and hoped your response to the circumstances might prove otherwise. Mm. But. No proof came. Days and nights kept passing. We both kept doing what we were supposed to do. Smiles on our faces as we low key completely shut each other out. Eventually I went on a long drive and listened to a tragic song that made my stubborn heart feel softer. When I got home I asked if you would come over. Which. I hate that I broke first. Why the fuck didn't you try to fix things sooner? Um. We sat on my couch and I guess made up?? I don't remember if I was clear and/or if you were. I do remember you saying you thought maybe I'd broken up with you and that we were handling it maturely. Which. Again. What the actual fuck Omar? What. The. Fuck. Somehow that talk went from expressing serious pain on my couch to slow kissing in the shower. I don't understand. I can't explain. Whatever.

There was also the night I kept telling you to leave and you wouldn't. There was the time in my bed when you told me your best case scenario and I told you I probably wouldn't be able to play my part in it. There was you laughing at/bothered by what Caleb and Hunter had said to you on my behalf. There was the way we each reacted when you told me you were considering sticking around in the fall while we stood in line at B&B's. There was the time I fell apart because I thought you left without telling me goodbye. There are more that won't come to mind now but do come to mind lots of other nights.

I think you almost always wanted to go. I think with my words/head I was constantly trying to offer you an easy out, but with my emotions/heart I was making leaving seem impossible.