#Plague 12.6

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

One of the cool things about Worm is all the puzzle bosses, the way Taylor beats enemies with these unusual and creative ways.

On the other hand, that's also one of the most annoying, when you step back, because a lot of them feel like they tailor-made (hah!) to be beaten by Taylor.

And l kinda... I feel like that makes the world almost feel too small?

Like the Mannequin fight was really badass, but it almost feels like the specifics of the rather absurd way he built himself was built to be beaten, or at least blocked off so well, by Taylor's swarm gumming up his works so much the way she did with the silk?

It's a tough hair to split right, balancing 'MC is clever and solved a problem' vs 'enemy had to be made in such a way they were beatable by Mc', I guess. Sometimes Wildbow makes it land, and the Mannequin fight was an intense read, for all that Manny the Kinless didn't fucking talk and was boring in of himself, but I dunno. Didn't quite feel organic.

I guess what continues to get me is that Manny's body and the way be built himself remains so fucking baffling to me it's hard to imagine a reason why he actually made those specific choices that aren't just 'specifically crafting a boss fight for Taylor to beat in this way'.

YMMY

[the4bestgame-blog]

Some quotes from my friend I got into worm, currently on Plague 12.6

[3416]

Auston Matthews opens up about the hand injury that’s hampered him

By Jonas Siegel | Mar 15, 2023 | The Athletic

There’s been this sense for much of the season that something wasn’t quite right with Auston Matthews.

It was clear in the numbers — so eye-popping the year before, so good-but-not-great for months this year. But you could also just see it. Matthews didn’t look like the guy who nudged Connor McDavid aside for the Hart Trophy last season, the one who scored 60 goals and ran over anybody in his way.

He fumbled pucks. He missed the net. He fired fewer of those patented, mostly unstoppable wrist shots. The variety in his shooting diminished. Matthews was even held without a single shot in one game in early November for only the sixth time in his career.

After the trade deadline earlier this month, Maple Leafs GM Kyle Dubas conceded what long seemed apparent but was never definitively acknowledged — that Matthews had “played through some injuries and things that have hampered him.”

But what injuries and things exactly?

Of late, I’d noticed that Matthews was starting to shoot the puck with force again and wondered if he was feeling similarly. I asked him as much in a brief 1-on-1 interview after a recent practice and he responded by revealing at least part of what was really going on.

“I think my hand and everything has been feeling a lot better, just stronger,” Matthews said, acknowledging the nature of that injury for the first time. “So yeah, I’d have to agree with you there. Just shooting it a little bit more fluidly I’d say.”

A hand injury, on top of other bumps and bruises in what’s been an injury-plagued year, explains a lot.

A hand injury would obviously be limiting to arguably the greatest shooter in the world. It would explain why Matthews has shot the puck less this season – 12.6 attempts per 60 minutes, down from 13.9 last year. It would explain why his shooting has been less precise at times, why he seemed to be missing the net more than usual. It would explain why his puck handling, an underrated part of his dominance over the years, just didn’t seem as sharp. It would explain why his faceoffs and takeaways were down.

“It was bothering me,” Matthews told me. “It just felt like something was off. I just felt like not completely, like I wasn’t able to do exactly what I wanted to at times.”

There have been signs that the old Matthews, an admittedly healthier Matthews, is re-emerging. When the Leafs played in Calgary on March 2, Matthews shot the puck as aggressively (and mostly accurately) as he had all season. He had seven shot attempts in the first period alone. He uncorked a dangerous one-timer in the second and an overpowering wraparound a couple minutes later.

Last weekend, Matthews went head-to-head with McDavid, the best player in the league by a mile this season, and won the matchup with grit, determination, and two-way skill. (The Leafs won 72 percent of the expected goals in their 9.5 minutes opposite one another at 5-on-5.). His shot looked like it was back.

That’s the fluidity that Matthews was talking about.

It’s unclear when exactly the hand injury first emerged — we know Matthews had surgery on his left wrist before last season — or how long it was bugging him. It’s possible it’s been an on-and-off sort of thing all year. Matthews missed three weeks with a knee injury in late January/early February, time off that was presumably beneficial for the hand injury.

On the state of his shooting during those times when his hand was still bothering him, he said: “Just maybe not as strong honestly, and (it) just didn’t feel as fluid. I think sometimes it can be like a number of different things, whether it’s footwork or stuff like that.

“Now it’s feeling a lot better.”

The fluidity was a big thing, Matthews said. And getting that back, he said, involved more than just getting his hand healthy. That’s where pre-practice skill development sessions with Darryl Belfry really paid off.

“I really enjoy the skills sessions before practice,” Matthews said. “I just think you can get a lot out of it. You jump into a regular practice, you’re not really thinking too much about that kind of stuff.”

“I think it’s nice to get those kind of touches and get that kind of skill work that you wouldn’t necessarily get throughout practice and then try to maybe implement some stuff too,” he said.

Practice could be repetitive throughout the long 82-game grind and didn’t really allow for that kind of specific skill work (which is why the Leafs under Dubas and Sheldon Keefe implemented those skill sessions in the first place).

It wasn’t unlike a shooter in the NBA, Steph Curry say, fine-tuning his three-point shot outside the confines of practice.

“Just getting repetitions,” Matthews said, “and shots and putting yourself in those kinds of situations and movements that you’d be in during a game and in situations and trying to work through different stuff.”

A lot of it came down to the footwork (another underrated part of Matthews’ shooting). And you can see from his maneuvering against the Sabres earlier this week that he’s found that rhythm again.

“A nice fluidity I’d say,” Matthews said.

He scored his 31st goal of the year by driving hard to the net, following up on a play that started in the Leafs zone.

Matthews has scored in three straight games (and also added three assists) and fired 29 shots on goal on 45 attempts in his last five outings. That’s almost six shots on nine attempts per game.

That’s more like the Matthews who led the NHL with 348 shots – 4.8 per game – on 599 (!) attempts last season.

It speaks to his greatness that Matthews is still on pace to score 40 goals playing through injuries all season. He recently clinched his seventh straight 30-goal season, one for every year he’s been in the league. For context, consider that John Tavares, long one of the NHL’s better players, hit 30 for the sixth time in his career the same night last weekend that Matthews got there again.

It’s obviously a big deal for the Leafs that Matthews is feeling healthy(ier) again, more like himself, more like one of the greatest players in the world. They need that dude if they have any chance of not only getting by Tampa in the first round, but making a serious run at the Stanley Cup.

They may have that dude back.

[dertaglichedan]

REPORT: $84 Billion Worth Of Biden-Subsidized Manufacturing Projects Floundering

President Joe Biden’s flagship industrial and climate initiative has struggled to get off the ground, as $84 billion worth of projects backed by the White House are paused or delayed, a Financial Times investigation found Monday.

Of the nearly $228 billion of manufacturing projects worth more than $100 million that are subsidized by the president’s Inflation Reduction Act (IRA) and Chips and Science Act, roughly 40% — totaling $84 billion — are paused or delayed, the outlet reported. The setbacks raise questions around the viability of Biden’s efforts to create a U.S. green energy manufacturing supply chain, as falling electric vehicle (EV) demand, persistent inflation, high interest rates and Chinese competition continue to dog domestic manufacturers, according to FT. (RELATED: Biden Admin Inks $12.6 Billion Deal With Blue State For Massive New Green Energy Hub)

“There will be attrition,” John Hensley, vice-president of markets and policy analysis at American Clean Power, told the FT. “Not every single one of these facilities is going to come online.”

[college-girl199328]

The new CEO of pipeline giant Enbridge Inc. says regulatory uncertainty in this country has resulted in a "lost decade" for Canadian liquefied natural gas production.

Greg Ebel, who took the reins from outgoing Enbridge CEO Al Monaco, spoke in an interview following the release of the company's fourth-quarter financial results.

Ebel, who left Spectra Energy in February 2017, said he was in Ottawa last week to speak with cabinet ministers about the need to accelerate energy infrastructure development in this country.

He pointed out that the U.S. didn't begin exporting liquefied natural gas (LNG) until 2016, eight years after the U.S. Energy Information Administration, and that the United States now has more LNG export capacity than any other country and has exported more LNG than any other country.

U.S. LNG exports averaged 11.1 billion cubic feet per day (Bcf/d) during the first half of 2022, according to the EIA, while Canada does not yet have a single LNG export terminal.

He said the company continues to be interested in further acquisitions in the Gulf area that could accelerate its energy export strategy, and someone responsible for allocating both human and financial capital, I have to do that where it seems most welcome.

Progress on LNG is being made here in Canada, with LNG Canada's massive LNG export terminal under construction near Kitimat, B.C., and Enbridge's own Woodfibre LNG--a partnership with Singapore's Pacific Energy Corp.—also approved.

Proponents say with Western Canada's vast reserves of natural gas, there is room to expand the country's LNG industry even more — something they say could help other parts of the world reduce their reliance on coal and address global energy security concerns.

But concerns over climate change and the coming energy transition have created uncertainty for the energy investment, suggesting there isn't a business case for an LNG export terminal off Canada's Atlantic coast, even though advocates have said such a facility could help wean Europe off Russian energy.

Energy infrastructure projects in this country have also been plagued by cost overruns, and delays recently revealed that the price tag for its Coastal GasLink pipeline project — which will carry natural gas across northern B.C. to the LNG Canada export terminal — has increased to $14.5 billion, up from $6.6 billion a year ago.

Last February, the Crown corporation behind the Trans Mountain pipeline expansion project--which will increase oil transportation capacity from Alberta to the West Coast--announced the new cost of the project was an estimated $21.4 billion, up from an earlier estimate of $12.6 billion.

In the case of Trans Mountain, the ballooning price tag was on "scheduling pressures related to the permitting process," as well as route changes to avoid culturally and environmentally sensitive areas.

[wheezingghoulbois]

Fandom Favorites: Puppet History Edition

Alright y’all! First of all thank you so much for participating in this lil’ poll to figure out the overall fandom’s consensus of the best episode and song of PH. But without further ado, the ranking:

Best Episode:

12. Isaac Newton’s Nemesis (15 votes/ 3.9%)

11. How America’s First Female Detective Saved Abe Lincoln (18 votes/ 4.6%)

10. The Terrifying Eruption of Mt. Vesuvius (28 votes/ 7.2%)

9. Policarpa: The Revolutionary Teen Spy (33 votes/ 8.5%)

8. Life During the Black Death Pandemic (37 votes/ 9.5%)

7. The Grisly Journey of The Donner Party (42 votes/ 10.8%)

5b. The Disastrous 1904 Olympic Marathon (43 votes/ 11.1%)

5a. Surviving the Titanic: History’s Luckiest Woman (43 votes/ 11.1%)

4. Hatshepsut: The Forgotten Pharaoh (49 votes/ 12.6%)

3. Stealing the World’s Most Expensive Necklace (69 votes/ 17.8%)

2. The World’s Greatest/Rudest Samarui (81 votes/ 20.9%)

1. The Dancing Plague (135 votes/ 34.8%)

Best Song and random facts/stats about the poll will be below the cut!

Best Song:

12. I Spew Goo (9 votes/ 2.3%)

11. Chugga Chugga Boo Hoo (8 votes/ 2.1%)

10. Plague Days (Y.O.D.O.) (17 votes/ 4.4%)

9. Pieces Of Me (27 votes/ 7.0%)

8. Choke For The Gold! (28 votes/ 7.2%)

7. Full of Other People’s Bones (31 votes/ 8.0%)

6. Propeller’s Lament (46 votes/ 11.9%)

5. Hatshepsut (52 votes/ 13.4%)

4. Snitch On The Rich (65 votes/ 16.8%)

3. Pricy Ice (75 votes/ 19.3%)

2. Gore On The Shore (80 votes/ 20.6%)

1. Didn’t Make ‘em Dance (131 votes/ 33.8%)

  Overall # of participants: 388

10.3% of people chose 3+ answers

21.1% % of people chose 2 answers

68.6% of people chose 1 answer

Largest disparity between episode and song:

Policarpa/Snitch on the Rich- Policarpa is 9th place while it’s song is an absolute banger and put at 4th place. There’s a 32 vote difference between the two- the largest difference of votes for ep/song.

Most common single answer:

The Dancing Plague (27.1% of 1 answer votes)- not a surprise. the winner was also the most common answer. y’all just really love that ep

  Fun facts:

Interestingly, even though only 38.7% paired episodes/songs, the list shows about the same number of votes for ep/song in the higher tier. I guess a good ep makes for a good song, or vice versa lmao

The highest paired episode/song voted was, unsurprisingly, Plague/Didn’t Make ‘em Dance

For like 80% of the time, Necklace and Pricy Ice were Strong seconds in their respective polls, until suddenly all the samurai/gay oar fans showed up and got their ep to second place.

I find it interesting Isaac Newton got last place, as that episode did pretty well view wise. I guess the Try Guys fans were coming through to help out with views on that one

  And again: thank you so much for doing this poll! I hope this was fun for everyone and see y’all in 8 weeks when Are You Scared? is over for the next one!

[emptymanuscript]

O_O!

From this morning’s local news:

My county has an estimated population of 447,937 people. 6,900 new cases of Covid were reported last week. That’s about 1.54% of the total population newly sick with Covid. And it’s not far off half, 3,122, just since Friday. That’s some seriously scary growth.

Out of all the tests performed in the last week, to see if someone is infected, 26.6% were positive. Where it was 12.6% a year ago.

The total total is 58,847 out of 447,937, or about 13.1% of the population infected. To match up with the “per thousand” you usually see as the number thrown around, that’s 131.

That’s… bad. That’s people dropping the ball. Today I have much less doubt about my brother’s claim that Covid will be “over” by the end of February because everyone who can get it will get it. Those who are both healthy and boost vaccinated will likely survive, everyone else… well… dropping the ball in plague times is bad.

I just find this all terrifying. And bewildering that other people don’t find it terrifying. What about 5,515,927 dead isn’t terrifying? Do you remember when we used to freak out to the point of globalized insanity over 2,977 people? I remember that. I didn’t understand that either to be honest. Guess I am just weird. But I would rather be my weird than whatever weirdness is going on that’s letting modern times happen with a smile.

[atlanticcanada]

Low wages, instability to blame for industry labour shortage, workers say

As restaurateurs across the country scramble to fill thousands of jobs, a common refrain has emerged: If the government wasn't paying workers to stay home, the labour shortage plaguing the restaurant industry wouldn't exist.

But workers are telling a different story, pointing to low wages and gruelling work conditions as the biggest hiring obstacles.

"It's hot. It's stressful. The hours are long and the pay is awful," says Chantelle Comeau, a 25-year veteran of the restaurant industry.

"People are literally working to the point of burnout for pennies above minimum wage."

The pandemic has had a catastrophic impact on restaurants in Canada.

The industry has endured some of the longest shutdowns in the world, with more than 10,000 eateries closing permanently.

It's also been devastating for workers. Hundreds of thousands of food service employees lost their jobs -- and some are not returning.

As some restaurateurs struggle to find enough workers to fill shifts, some suggest government income supports are deterring some from working.

"We lost a lot of the untrained, lower wage workers," says Danny Ellis, the owner and operator of four restaurants in Cape Breton, a region with an unemployment rate of 12.6 per cent, compared to 8.7 per cent for Nova Scotia as a whole.

"I can't find dishwashers," he says. "Especially for guys in that position, why would they come back when they're paid to sit at home?"

The restaurateur says he's increased wages, but still can't find enough workers. He's now planning to close one of his restaurants for a day a week just to give current staff a break.

"I've been slinging food and booze in Sydney for about 42 years now," Ellis says. "This is the worst labour shortage I've ever encountered."

Economists say there are multiple factors contributing to the restaurant labour crunch.

They say the mass hiring spree as the economy reopens has created intense competition for staff. The situation is exacerbated by restaurant workers changing fields, ongoing COVID-19 concerns, fewer foreign workers and issues finding child care or summer camps.

"It's going to be pretty difficult to rehire a quarter of a million people all at once," says David Macdonald, senior economist with the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives.

Pointing to recent statistics, he says wages in the restaurant industry have remained relatively flat, while the workload in terms of enhanced cleaning and health and safety measures has increased.

Evolving public health recommendations and a looming fourth wave also make it impossible for most restaurant operators to guarantee hours, especially come this fall, Macdonald says.

He says the solution to finding more workers is often increasing wages.

"The proviso to any complaint about a labour shortage is there's a shortage -- at the wage I'm willing to pay," Macdonald says. "That's the piece that's always missing."

"They're asking people to potentially go off government support to take on a job that's maybe part time, and even those hours aren't assured," he said. "It's not terribly compelling."

It's that instability that has pushed some people to leave the restaurant industry altogether, Toronto-area bartender Scott Marleau says.

"We've seen closures out the wazoo," he says. "The instability is terrifying."

The 32-year-old bartender, who started as a barback more than a decade ago, says he worked odd jobs in construction and film production to get by during the pandemic and is returning to his position as the head bartender of a hotel next week.

But Marleau says repeated lockdowns prompted some people to call it quits and seek a job in another field permanently.

Comeau says when she was let go from a full-service restaurant, she tried working for a call centre before eventually returning to food service.

She interviewed for a few jobs, including at Tim Hortons where she had worked in her teens.

The coffee and doughnut chain promised "competitive wages" that ended up being minimum wage, she says.

"I would have taken home less than I did 20 years ago because people don't tip anymore," she says. "I used to walk out with $40 a day in tips but everyone pays electronically so there's no change to leave a tip."

Comeau ended up getting a job a Halifax-area boutique hotel as a line cook for $14.50 an hour.

"It's really pretty awful pay for the amount of work I do, and the 12-hour days I put in," she says. "If anyone is wondering why there's a labour shortage, they just need to look at the paycheques of restaurant workers."

This report by The Canadian Press was first published Aug. 25, 2021.

from CTV News - Atlantic https://ift.tt/38bGgmx

[stanandcharleyandfriends]

COVID-19 pet boom has veterinarians backlogged, burned out

May 23, 2021 - Kelli Kennedy, Associated Press

Veterinary clinics around the country, including Brooklyn, have been overrun by new four-legged patients, adding to stress among veterinarians and their staff. Vets interviewed by the Associated Press have extended hours, hired additional staff and refused to take new patients, and they still can’t keep up. Burnout and fatigue are such a concern that some practices are hiring counselors to support their weary staffs.

Approximately 12.6 million U.S. households got a new pet last year after the pandemic was declared in March 2020, according to a COVID-19 Pulse Study by the American Pet Products Association. 

Meanwhile, fewer people relinquished their pets in 2020, so they needed ongoing care, experts said. And as people worked from home and spent more time with their pets, they’ve had more opportunities to notice ailments that could typically go untreated.

VERG (Veterinary Emergency and Referral Group), a 24-hour emergency and specialty animal hospital on Fourth Avenue in Gowanus, Brooklyn, reported a 40 percent jump in emergency care since the pandemic began. That’s also meant more pet hospitalizations, straining various specialties like surgery and cardiology.

“The demand continues to grow,” causing extreme weariness in a profession known for its big-hearted workers, said Verg’s chief medical officer, Dr. Brett Levitzke.

“Fear of the unknown with the pandemic leads to more intense emotions from our clients,” said Levitzke.

He’s seen expletive-laced outbursts and threats from pet owners, and also outpourings of love, with cards and baked goods. After the toll on the staff became noticeable, they hired a compassion fatigue specialist for support.

“Unfortunately, compassion fatigue, anxiety, and depression already plagued our profession, and the pandemic has certainly taken it to another level,” Levitzke said.

Vets were already struggling to meet the pre-pandemic demand, with veterinary schools unable to churn out enough doctors and techs to fill the void.

Banfield Pet Hospital, one of the largest national providers of preventive veterinary medicine, which has a location on Atlantic Avenue in Boerum Hill, had approximately half a million more pet visits in 2020 than in 2019. And its telehealth service more than doubled in volume from March through the end of last year.

During the gloomiest stretches of the pandemic, Dr. Diona Krahn’s veterinary clinic in Raleigh, North Carolina, has been a puppy fest, overrun with new four-legged patients.

Typically, she’d get three or four new puppies a week, but between shelter adoptions and private purchases, the 2020 COVID-19 pet boom brought five to seven new clients a day to her practice. Many are first-time pet owners.

Like many veterinarians across the country, she’s also been seeing more sick animals.

“Everyone is working beyond capacity at this point,” said Krahn, who added evening hours last year.

Krahn left her practice three months ago and now oversees nine veterinary and animal hospital clinics across Utah and Idaho under Pathway Vet Alliance. “All of my practices are booking out several weeks in advance.”

Thrive, another veterinary hospital primary care group, with 110 facilities across the U.S. but none in Brooklyn, reported a 20 percent increase in demand during the pandemic. Both repeated a common refrain — as humans spent more time with their pets, they were more in tune with their ailments — big and small.

“With COVID, a lot of people became powerless to the ones closest to them,” said Claire Pickens, a senior director at Thrive, “but the one thing they still had the ability to control was caring for their pet.”

Clinics have been forced to streamline, having patients fill out forms online or by phone pre-appointment because hiring additional staff often isn’t an option.

“The industry is growing at a rate that it can’t fill all the roles needed to keep up with the increased demand for services,” said Pickens.

Veterinary positions are projected to grow 16 percent by 2029, nearly four times the average of most other occupations, according to Bureau of Labor Statistics. Vet tech jobs are expected to increase nearly 20 percent in the next five years.

“We are still short staffed despite active seeking of additional staff,” said Dr. Katarzyna Ferry, Veterinary Specialty Hospital of Palm Beach Gardens.

[agustdomain]

Taste Of His Universe

Synopsis: What’s it like to finally understand what goes on in the mind of a boy who reminds you of a galaxy?

Word count: 12.6 k

Genre: A lil bit of angst. Post-road trip. Lot of inner thoughts. 

Warnings: Minor language, implications of family abuse, negative outlook on self.

Member: Donghyuck, ft. OC, Renjun & Yuqi, other dreamies, and introduction of Jisung and Yuri! New faces haha

To Read Take Me To Outer Space, click here.

Author’s Note: This special work is an unofficial sequel. Tmtos is its own standalone work, and can be perceived as such. This work isn’t necessary and doesn’t offer a different ending, per se. It’s just an opportunity to understand the complexity of Donghyuck a little more. This is a special thank you to all those who have followed me this past year! Back when I wrote this last year, I didn’t imagine the amount of love I would get for it. Like I say so often, Take Me To Outer Space is incredibly important to me. I’m grateful so many of you love it as well. Without further ado, please enjoy getting a taste of Donghyuck’s mind. -Angelo

For as long as he could remember, there were questions rushing through Donghyuck’s mind. Sometimes they came in flashes, usually about what he had to do or that had his attention at the time. Other times, it was more serious and long term. The particularly heavy questions plagued him at night, sure, but other times they would leave his head reeling at the most inconvenient moments. He was a curious guy, always questioning and wondering about the world around him. People usually were the biggest source of his curiosity . He never let it show, found it a little bit childlike to always have wonder eager on his tongue. 

The burning question of the hour was, Why am I here?

“Seriously. That is the question,” He muttered aloud, unaware of anything but his thoughts. Here he was, the sun beating down on his back and making sweat build at his nape. The longer he stood in front of the quaint, barely noticeable shop, he tried to ignore the droplets racing down his back. 

Shuffling on his feet, he squinted down the street on his right, then did the same on his left. Searching for an answer, maybe? Perhaps he was stalling. One thing was for sure, he truly didn’t like that he always did things on a whim. 

And that’s why he was standing outside this flower shop, wondering just what his bright idea was and why he originally thought it was genius.

Yeah, it may have been a good idea last night when he was lying awake in his bed back home. All of his things packed, waiting and ready for his departure. Come morning, he was getting on a plane and flying back to reality, back to school and to all of his friends. Back to burning questions with no answers and hesitation. 

Life wasn’t particularly easy on the boy who knew how to overthink.

“Hey, kid. You just gonna stand there or what?” Donghyuck snapped out of his distracted thoughts, feeling his mouth twist in embarrassment. A worker, maybe in his late twenties, was in the middle of putting some flowers on display in front of the shop. 

“Sorry,” Donghyuck uttered, walking past him and into the propped open door. 

It was definitely a smaller establishment, kind of what he imagined a flower shop to look like. The aroma was overwhelming and everywhere he looked there was a burst of color. Rubbing away the sweat at his temple, Donghyuck felt a frown settled on his face as a headache began to rise.

He knew next to nothing about flowers.

“Why. Am. I. Here?” He said, beginning on his journey by wandering around aimlessly. There wasn’t really anywhere to wander, but he tried to make himself look like he was searching for something specific. In all honesty, the only thing he was looking for was his reason. 

The sound of the shop door swinging closed- the bell attached to it was obnoxiously loud- grabbed his attention. The worker from earlier trudged in, large box in his arms. The embarrassment from earlier tried to push its way up and onto his cheeks but Donghyuck turned away from the sight.

To distract himself, he read the little display card in front of him over and over. Peonies.

Hm. So that’s what they look like. 

“Looking for anything in particular?”

Donghyuck fidgeted in place, glancing over his shoulder at the guy who was now behind the counter. From the brief glance, he wondered if he imagined the subtle amusement hidden in the worker’s features. 

“No thanks. Just looking,” He settled on, turning forward once more. Staring down at the peonies, he found the question that was probing at him transforming into, Why am I such an idiot?

“You looking for a gift for your mom? Friend? Girlfriend?”

Donghyuck’s eyes raised to the ceiling, his eyebrow twitching in annoyance. He understood it was the guy’s job to be helpful, but it was starting to get annoying. Nonetheless, he kept his cool.

“Ah, well, it’s a bit complicated.” Donghyuck decided to keep it as concise as possible, because even he himself didn’t know how to go about handling his wild ideas.

 If he could go back in time, back to his yesterday self whose heart was aching and searching for a solution, he would tell him that flowers weren’t the answer.

“I get it,” The worker’s voice was now right behind him. Donghyuck internally sighed as he stepped up beside him. The guy couldn’t catch a clue. “It’s an apology you’re looking for.”

Instead of answering, he only gave the guy a polite smile before turning and walking away, his eyes scanning the abundance of flowers surrounding him. He couldn’t focus on the situation at hand, not when his mind wasn’t even in order and his methods were seriously flawed.

For him to think that flowers were the answer. 

Suddenly, he felt his heart grow stifled at the realization that once again, going out on a whim failed him. Flowers weren’t the answer, no, it was a stupid idea. 

Why would flowers help the complexity that was he and Y/N’s relationship?

Rubbing at his face with frustration, he checked his watch. He had only been back for a few hours, and he was already making impulsive decisions. It had been three months since he last saw you, one and a half months since you last spoke.

Boy, did he have another thing coming if he thought flowers were going to salvage the state of your connection.

“From the look on your face, it seems there’s trouble in paradise.” The worker was now leaning against a display right behind him. Donghyuck’s annoyance with himself mixed with the probing flower boy was edging him to snap. 

Once more, he feigned a smile. “I’m just looking around, man.”

The guy cocked an eyebrow. Donghyuck took a moment to study him, guessing that the worker was someone who didn’t know when to stop. Hey, who was he to talk though? He had his own overbearing personality. 

“This is my area of expertise. If you’re looking for an apology, sure, flowers can help. But if it’s an extreme offense, I can give you directions to the grocery store. Girls like when you give them their favorite snacks.”

He couldn’t help it anymore. The guy was ticking him off. “Look,” His eyes flickered down to his nametag, “Hyungwon, I don’t know if you’re bad at reading people or you simply don’t care, but I’m not in the greatest mood to be pestered. In fact, I’m still trying to figure out why I thought it was a brilliant idea to buy a girl flowers when we’re technically not even speaking. So I would like it if you just left me alone.”

Instead of being offended, Hyungwon snickered. 

Instead of snapping even further, Donghyuck walked away once more. 

“What am I even doing?” He asked himself, looking longingly at the door. The more seconds ticked by, the more he realized being here wasn’t the solution. In fact, he was better off going back to his apartment and sorting out the mess of his mind on his own. 

Flowers wouldn’t magically make things better. 

“Going back in time would,” Donghyuck sighed, before twisting on his heel and striding toward the shop door.

“Sure you don’t want to buy a bouquet?” Hyungwon, the worker, hollered. Donghyuck scoffed, the words giving him more of a boost to book it out of there. “I’m sure I’ll see you again!”

“I’m sure you will,” Donghyuck muttered sarcastically, the sound of the door bell announcing his exit.

Back to the merciless heat.

Back to confusion and wondering how to break out of his mind, his endless questions. 

Most importantly, and unfortunately, back to his thoughts about you.

It was no surprise there. Since the day he met you, you haunted him. Good or bad, it had always been like that. Distance didn’t change that, your guys’ issues didn’t change that. 

And for the better part of the summer, all of his burning questions were about you. And right now, as he made his way back to his apartment, the question at the forefront of his mind was an iceberg. Simple on the surface, a lot deeper upon further examination.

Do I still have a place in your heart?

~

“There he is. I was wondering when you’d show up. I was surprised to see all your stuff here but no sign of you.” Some of the nerves from earlier subsided at the sight of Jeno’s smile.

Donghyuck’s shoulders sagged at the release of tension, a hint of a smile on his own lips as he pushed the front door behind him shut.The two met in an embrace, a blur of excitement and adoration for each other. 

“Sorry, man, I was out… running errands.” Donghyuck settled on, taking a moment to observe the small space. The two of them had been lucky to snag an apartment near campus, though they would have to commute to and from. It was rather costly, but with some help from Jeno’s parents, both of them on the hunt for jobs and some scholarships rolled into it, they were making it work. 

“Empty handed?” Jeno inquired, his gaze flickering down to his friend’s hands. 

“Long story,” Donghyuck uttered, only now noticing he was tired. So far, the only piece of furniture in their small living room space was a two-seat sofa. He didn’t mind, though, because he was content. Content to be living with someone he valued deeply but would never say aloud. 

Throwing himself across the sofa, he sighed in relief. It felt good to rest his body and his mind. 

“I know we don’t have much to start off with, but once everything starts kicking into gear I was thinking we can add to this place. It’s small, sure, but at least we got our own rooms! And I-”

“Jeno, don’t worry about it.” Donghyuck flipped on his back to look his friend in the eye. He could tell Jeno was fretting about his reaction to the place and he regretted not being here during the summer to help look for their place. A heaviness settled in his heart. He silently vowed he’d make it up to him. With sincerity in his voice, he added, “This place is perfect.”

Watching the light enter Jeno’s face made Donghyuck so happy. He would never say it aloud. 

Instead, he merely laid his head back down and closed his eyes, finding it hard to believe that the summer had blown by and they were merely days away from their sophomore year of college.

~

Tap. Tap. Tap. 

Donghyuck peered above his laptop at Jeno.

Tap. Tap. Tap. 

Shaking his head, he could feel another headache coming on as he waited for any sign of activity on the other end of his laptop.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“Dude, will you please-”

“I was thinking pizza tonight. How does that sound?” Jeno’s hand remained poised in the air, ready to throw the ball in his hand at the wall again. His question saved Donghyuck from having to hear the ceaseless sound of it hitting it over and over, at least for a moment.

“Sounds good. As long as we get sausage on it.”

Jeno made a face. “Bleh. We’ll make half of it sausage and half of it good.”

“Screw you,” Donghyuck chuckled, his eyes being pulled back down to his screen. Seeing the familiar bubbles pop up on his messaging app, he sighed with relief. The jerk was finally responding to his texts. Just as his friend responded, Jeno called out to him.

“Huh?”

“Did you hear me? I said I hope you don’t mind that Yuqi is coming over. The three of us haven’t chilled in forever. And I’ve barely seen her this summer. She spends all her time with Renjun.”

Donghyuck scoffed, typing away at his keyboard. “Is that jealousy I hear? Last time I checked, you had a thing with that girl this summer too. I’m sure you haven’t made any time for Yuqi either.”

“Yo, whose side are you on?”

“I’m indifferent.” Just then, he stood up with his laptop in order to head to his room for more privacy. “Of course I’m fine with her coming over. As if I have any choice in the matter.”

“Chances are, she’s going to chew you out for… you know.”

Donghyuck paused in his footsteps, his heart squeezing. Looking over his shoulder at Jeno, he could tell his friend was avoiding looking at him at all costs. Always feigning nonchalance. The two of them were one and the same.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

“She can try all she wants. She doesn’t know the full story anyway.”

“Do any of us?” Jeno only looked at him then, making Donghyuck’s heart drop. He could see the worry barely masked, could see how his hand had paused once more from tossing the ball at the wall. His eyes were mirrors of questions, ones that echoed in Donghyuck’s own mind.

All he could do was take a page out of Jeno’s book. Feign nonchalance.

Donghyuck forced a shrug. “Who knows?” 

When he made it to his pretty desolate bedroom, he quietly closed the door. His eyes fluttered shut for a moment, his head dizzy with the implications of the previous conversation.

The truth of the matter was, even he didn’t know the full story. Of course his friends would want to know. After all, everyone was friends with each other. If they didn’t hear it from him, they probably heard it from Y/N.

He could only wonder if you were just as confused as he was.

No. You probably hated him. That’s the only reasonable idea that comes to mind.

The sound of the video chat ringing startled him out of his thoughts. Blowing out a breath of air, he quickly accepted and proceeded to make himself comfortable on the only thing set up in his room: his bed.

Instead of feeling happiness like he would’ve thought, or perhaps sadness from having to be departed with his friend until he flew back home, he could only muster annoyance at the guy’s face.

“What?” He asked, before adjusting his circular glasses and shifting his own device from the other side.

“Jisung, I told you to call me the moment you got back home. How is he? Did anyone see you?”

Jisung rolled his eyes. “Relax, no one saw me. You forget we did this for an entire year. And yes, Rocket’s fine. Happy to see his favorite person.”

Donghyuck remained unamused at the sight of Jisung’s grin. 

“Not in a good mood, I see. As usual,” Jisung uttered the last part before cracking open a can of soda and sipping at it. He proceeded to say, “How’s everything out there? You all unpacked?”

He faked a laugh. “Do you really think I’m that organized? I’ve only been here for less than a day.”

Jisung leaned back in his desk chair, “Eh, you never know. Sometimes people surprise you.”

“Unfortunately, I’m pretty set in my ways,” Donghyuck shook his head, his eyes scanning his bare room. He couldn’t begin to explain the conflict in his heart. He was happy to be back here, away from the chaos of his home life. Yet, a part of him still ached for having to leave some things behind. There were only a few pieces of happiness back in his hometown. 

Jisung and his dog, Rocket, pretty much summed it all up. 

He had gotten Rocket back in his freshman year of high school. The puppy was what got him through a lot of tough nights, whether it be school or personal life issues. And he had gotten his name from yet another aspect of his life that he cherished deeply. Rocket was the name of the first song he had ever listened to by MAD, his favorite band. 

Blinking at the sound of Jisung’s voice, he tuned in on his friend’s low voice.

“You know, I just wish Rocket could stay with me whenever you’re gone. It would make things a whole lot easier.”

“Yeah, I do too. But you know how it is,” That’s all he said, because if anyone knew how his life was, it was Jisung. In fact, he was probably the only person in the whole world who understood him fully. It was such a shame he wasn’t with him.

“Well, one more year. One more year and I’m outta here just like you. And if you don’t take Rocket with you, he’s coming with me.”

“In your dreams.” Donghyuck genuinely laughed and it felt good. It felt good to be completely comfortable, unafraid of someone judging him. It was hard, because he did have good friends here at school. He had Jeno and Yuqi. And he had… you. But no one else knew him like Jisung did. “Thank you, Jisung. I… I don’t know what I would do without you.”

If Jisung recognized the double meaning, he didn’t address it. Clicking his tongue and waving a hand dismissively, he said, “No worries. You know Rocket secretly loves me more. I’ll always have his back… and yours too.”

Donghyuck looked away, maybe to collect himself or to think of what to say. He settled with, “Again, in your dreams.”

“Hey, Hyuck! Yuqi’s here!” 

“Sounds like you got to get back,” Jisung was slightly grinning, as if he had a secret he would never tell. Donghyuck knew that it meant trust, that he was considered a close confidant. 

“We’ll talk soon.”

“I don’t doubt it.”

And as Donghyuck made his way back to the living room, his heart was lighter than a feather.

~

It’s funny how things kind of fall into place. Life has an odd way of throwing a person a line, to either grab onto for help or to simply ignore. 

Right now was one of the moments.

Here Donghyuck was, lying wide awake in his bed. Around him was a small and bare bedroom, more comforting than the one back home was and that held most of his childhood. There was mostly silence in the apartment, quiet chatter a distance away coming from Jeno’s room. He had a small lamp plugged in beside the bed and Donghyuck stared blankly at the yellow blanket covering the ceiling. 

It was too early to be going to sleep.

That’s what Donghyuck initially blamed his restlessness on, when really it was because of you. 

Oh, Y/N. If you could actually look into his mind and see how much he thought about you, you would know he was in love. 

If he actually opened his mouth and told you what’s inside of him, maybe you would understand. 

That’s the problem, isn’t it? Donghyuck can never quite push himself to open up. It’s why it took so long for him to kiss you in the back of that car all those months ago, for him to even show a snippet of his feelings for you at the MAD concert. 

Rubbing at his face roughly, he reached for his phone. With bated breath, he clicked open the contacts list and scrolled to your name.

Y/N. With a golden heart. 

Emojis couldn’t even begin to convey how he felt. How could they, when he himself couldn’t communicate properly?

His thumb did a little dance above your name before he allowed the screen to go dark. Putting it back where it was on the side table, the frustration bubbled within him. He aggressively ripped the blankets off of himself before sitting on the edge of the bed. Holding his head in his hands, his heart beat fast as his thoughts picked up speed.

“Why am I like this?” He choked out, his mind racing and his heart frazzled.

The truth was, he was always afraid of what he felt for you. For as long as he was self-conscious, he knew how much of a wreck he was. He was frustrating, he knew that about himself. He also knew that he was blunt and sometimes didn’t know when to stop. It’s why you didn’t like him for so long, why he couldn’t help but be unbearable. 

He never intended to annoy you all those times, he was only nervous.

How couldn’t he be nervous when you were the most perfect person he had ever been graced with in his entire life?

Donghyuck had noticed you long before you had noticed him, way at the beginning of the first semester. As luck would have it, he had found out that the two of you had connections, mostly through Renjun and Jeno. You had piqued his interest through your guys’ shared Philosophy class. The class bored him to death, never really grabbed his attention. Not until you spoke. 

You spoke so eloquently, quiet but confident. He remembered how pleased the professor looked whenever you spoke out on your thoughts. On those days, he used to think to himself, Join the club. I’m impressed just like you. 

He didn’t see you everyday, but he tried to look presentable on the days you shared that class. Those moments, when he would look over and you would either be dozing off or intensely focused, his mind would go quiet. 

And Donghyuck couldn’t remember the last time someone or something made his mind go radio silent. 

It was a complete accident starting on your bad side. In reality, he was really trying to impress you the day you first took notice of him. You had just spoken out about your view on something, something that Donghyuck couldn’t even remember anymore. All he could recall is how he didn’t necessarily agree with your points, and had some counterarguments that could make an interesting discussion. 

For the first time in that class, he raised his hand. 

He had meant for his voice to come out reserved and confident, just like yours. Instead, it came out bold and cocky. His demeanor shifted, protecting him from all of the judgmental eyes and portraying him as this laid back and know-it-all guy. 

His heart had cracked that day when you had looked at him with exasperation. Dejected at first, he didn’t even want to show his face in that class anymore. He needed a few pep talks from Jeno, who he had let in on his crush, and even Jisung who he had called the moment he got back to his dorm that day, for him to show up again.

From then on, he couldn’t help himself. He took on this persona that was solely for you. It was stupid, he knows it now, but it was the only way you would remember him. Figuring out you would like him for himself took a long time, but as luck would have it there were always little beacons that showed him the way. 

Like MAD, for instance. 

Another night that stuck out in his memory was the karaoke night when he pissed you off. It wasn’t often that he went out with his friends, but when they did get him to come out he genuinely did have a good time. He had known for a long time how much Jeno and Yuqi loved MAD, because it was one of the things they brought up when they were all getting to know each other. 

Just like Jisung and Rocket, MAD played a huge part in helping him through hard times. They were his safe haven, a way to leave the world and immerse himself in a band that knew just what to say. There was no judgment, no questions or anger. There was no broken families or overwhelming school experiences when he pulled on his headphones and listened to Jisoo, the voice that rocked his mind to sleep. Sometimes, he’d listen for Davey’s drums, use it to slow his heartbeat. For him, MAD did the opposite of its name- it made him sane. 

And you, well, you were the human form of MAD. 

When you gave him the chance to know your heart, well, it simply felt like he had the universe in his hands.

You were his universe.

And he was too afraid that he was your black hole.

A gentle knock at his bedroom door snapped him out of his contemplations, quickly rubbing his forearm across his eyes. Taking only a moment to collect himself, he croaked out, “Yeah?”

Jeno cracked the door open before pushing it all the way. Leaning on the doorframe, his eyes washed over Donghyuck.

“You okay?”

No. But it was hard to even utter one word. He nodded instead.

Donghyuck could tell Jeno wanted to push him, but maybe the warning look on his face was enough to deter him. 

“Well, I’m here to talk if you want,” Jeno walked into the room, stretching his arms. He was quick to change the subject. But it was a subject Donghyuck didn’t really like. Turning to look him dead in the eye, Jeno said, “I have an idea. And you’re probably not going to like it.”

~

Jeno was right. He didn’t like it. 

As he trailed behind Jeno and a girl he had only recently been introduced to, he was dreading ever being talked into this bright idea.

“Do you think we need more than one flashlight?”

“Yeah. Yuqi said her and Ren have one already. I don’t know if the others have one. Just in case, we can get two.”

Donghyuck sighed heavily, making his lack of enthusiasm as apparent as possible. The burning question of the hour was, Why do I always get myself into these situations?

“I shouldn’t go.” He said aloud, probably for the fifteenth time since Jeno first told him about it. It seemed like Jeno had no intentions of letting him off the hook.

Without stopping the shopping cart, he gave Donghyuck a glance and replied, “Too bad. You already said yes and it’s going to be an amazing trip. So don’t ruin it.”

“He could always change his mind,” Yuri, the most recent face that had been hanging around, put out there. 

Donghyuck only frowned hearing Jeno’s cryptic reply to her. “No, I have a feeling he’s not going to change his mind.”

The truth was, his mouth had agreed before he could work through the turmoil. It was a couple days after Jeno told him his idea, how everyone should go camping before school starts back up. That meant this upcoming weekend, considering classes start next week. And by everyone, he meant an extended group that just so happened to include you. 

He didn’t have to ask if you were going to be there. The answer had been in Jeno’s shifting eyes. And he was practically sick with nerves at the prospect. 

The truth was, he was never one for camping in general. The ground was rock solid, most of the time it was super cold at night. No one likes bugs and he was definitely not an exception. He tried to look at the bright side but the closer they got to the weekend the more he dreaded it.

Besides all of the negatives, it was going to be the first time he saw you in months. The last time he saw you, it was right before he left for the summer. And things were fine between you, then. 

It had been almost a year since the concert. Ten months, to be exact. Ten months since the night he had revealed to you a snippet of what he feels for you, and you did the same. And that night, well, had been a symbol for hope. He could vividly remember how your perfume still lingered with him that night when he went to sleep.

The months after that wasn’t really what he had envisioned. Likely, it wasn’t what you wanted either. It’s not so easy stepping out of one’s comfort zone, and Donghyuck being expressive was definitely in the outfield.

You were patient with him. You guys took things slow. Some days, it was especially hard and Donghyuck knew it. He could be so distant and he didn’t like that about himself, but he tried to explain to you that it was just who he was. He was moody and brooding, he had a lot about him that was locked away. That could all be seen on the surface.

He just wished he could break into himself, put on display just how much you meant to him. Something told him deep down you knew. You saw it in the way he came running when you were overwhelmed with your schoolwork. You could sense it when he refused to hang up even when his voice was hoarse and slowing down with fatigue. 

His love was subtle in person, but loud in his mind. The sad part was, his brain was a locked box.

The summer had only severed the growth he had made. Going back home was like resetting and reverting back to the version of himself that liked to retreat. He could only blame himself for the distance and he could only hope there was a way to make it up to you. 

“Apparently, I thought flowers might’ve worked,” Donghyuck hummed as he spotted flowers on display at the front of the grocery store. Shaking his head, he continued following behind the pair on a mission. 

“You’re a lot more… stormy than I pictured,” Yuri directed back at him. He only gave her an icy stare in return. 

“Don’t take it personal. He’s like that most of the time,” Jeno said loudly, not at all subtle.

“I don’t mind. It brings a bit of spice to the atmosphere.”

Donghyuck glared at the back of her head, wondering who decided she was apart of the friend group out of nowhere. Why didn’t he get a say? Who cares if Jeno had a thing with her during the summer, does that give her a pass? If every girl Jeno had a thing with was in their friend group, they’d have a whole football team.

He shook his head at himself once again, recognizing his unfairness. There was some truth to his thoughts though. He was only gone for a summer and suddenly there was a new face. Guess he didn’t really have a choice if everyone else liked her. 

“Okay. I think that’s it,” Jeno maneuvered the cart out of the aisle and toward one of the checkout lines. “That was a success!”

“We only needed to get a few things,” Yuri pointed out.

Jeno’s face twisted. “Yeah, okay, but it was still successful! This weekend is going to be a blast.”

“For sure.”

Donghyuck knew he was being a buzzkill but he couldn’t help it. Was he supposed to magically be cool with seeing you after months of not being in your presence, after over a month of not talking to you? Even though you didn’t voice you were angry at him, maybe you were. Maybe you finally hated him for being so closed off. 

There was no way to prepare for the moment he would see you.

Even when you guys were cool, he never knew how to calm down his heart.

Maybe the flowers were a good idea after all, because it would allow him control over when he would talk to you after being back. If he went camping, then the interaction laid all in the trip.

He hummed in amusement, the MAD road trip flashing in his mind. 

How familiar. 

“Shit! We forgot to get an extra bag of marshmallows! I’ll go get them,” Yuri said before twisting on her heel and booking it. 

Both boys watched her departure before Donghyuck said, “It’s like having another Yuqi around. Except I like Yuqi.”

Jeno slugged him in the arm. “Lay off, man. You’re not even giving her a chance. She’s 

actually pretty great.”

“Why aren’t you guys dating then?”

Jeno, always casual, “We’re better off as friends. It wasn’t hard to figure out.”

“It’s that easy,” Donghyuck’s tone was dripping with sarcasm. His words held some truth,  because when he first met you he instantly knew he’d never see you as a friend. It’s not possible. 

Looking down at his boots, he tried to focus his thoughts. If they kept on trailing back to you, he might just chicken out of going this weekend. No, Jeno was right on that. There was no way he wouldn’t go. If it meant you, his heart would always win over his fear.

“Hey Hyuck,” Jeno took the moment they had alone. By his tone, Donghyuck knew he 

was going to get serious. He made sure his face remained indifferent. “I know what’s going on. I mean, I know it’s Y/N. We all go through heartbreaks-”

Donghyuck stepped back a bit, shaking his head and shutting him down. “Don’t assume shit when you don’t know.” He could see that he had struck a nerve in Jeno, but he knew more than anyone how entitled Jeno could act. To everyone else, he was this social butterfly who knew no harm. To the people who knew him a little better, like Yuqi and himself, he wasn’t as angelic as perceived. 

Out of everyone he had ever met, Jeno was one of those who had a problem caring 

about how he made others feel. 

Donghyuck didn’t judge him for it. They were close, after all, and he had flaws himself. It didn’t mean he wouldn’t call him out on his shit. 

“Look, I’m not trying to assume. But from how you’ve been acting and what Y/N’s said...”

That didn’t sit well with Donghyuck at all. He went into defensive mode almost instantaneously. “What do you mean, what Y/N has said? Since when do you talk to her like that?”

Jeno shrugged, pushing the cart ahead. This was the shit that ticked Donghyuck off. And it drove him crazy that these particular qualities only came out when hardly no one was around. “We talked a little more these past couple of weeks. She seems pretty torn up.”

Donghyuck gritted his teeth, his fists clenching without his control. Why did Jeno sound so… entitled? Why was he acting like he knew you?

Something flashed in his mind then, catching him off guard.

It was a memory from the MAD trip. It was when he regretted how he acted with you, how harsh he had been and had called you a loser. It was something he always regretted. What he was thinking about led up to that. 

Unbeknownst to you, he had overheard you and Renjun talking in the burger place on the road about how you liked Jeno. It had wrenched his insides, tearing him up in a way he had never felt before. Sure, he had felt other forms of devastation. There was nothing quite like finding out you had a thing for his friend, the friend that everyone seemed to love. 

Of course, it had been cleared up right away. 

That memory popped into his head right now as he looked Jeno’s nonchalance in the face and it boiled his blood.

“I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I suggest you cut it out because you’re really starting to-”

“I got them!” Yuri’s arrival snapped them out of their tense conversation. Her eyes widened at the sight of Donghyuck’s blatant irritation. Jeno grabbed the bag out of her hand and put on a smile.

“Took long enough.”

Yuri shuffled past him, and Donghyuck could feel her eyes on him. He just needed a moment, his eyes fluttering closed as he tried to calm down his breathing. 

He was acting crazy. 

Jeno hadn’t said anything wrong. Sure, he was pushing his buttons a little bit but he wasn’t implying anything. Donghyuck was simply on edge from everything, especially anything regarding you.

To you, he seemed like a confident guy, once a pest but now someone who you adored.

To himself, well, he was a mess. Inside, he was a flurry of questions, feelings and worries.

How could he even begin to describe that to you?

And if he did, would you turn him away?

When they reached the car, he silently helped put all of their belongings in the trunk. And before Jeno could open the driver door, Donghyuck pulled him back by his shirt.

“Sorry about that back there. I’m just… on edge. I,” Donghyuck paused and sighed, “I really miss her.”

Jeno’s face softened, bringing his hand up to rest on his shoulder. “She misses you too, man. Just talk to her this weekend. I think you’re just too in your head about it.”

The world blew past him through the car window, similar to his racing thoughts. As he laid his head back, he seized onto one question that kept playing in his mind. Why do I ruin everything?

~

It was the night before the trip, and it was getting harder for Donghyuck to get a rein on his emotions. He was drowning, and he was drowning fast. How could he mentally prepare himself to face you, when it had been so long since you last spoke?

His body fell back on his bed, his eyes tracing the edges of the golden light blanketing the ceiling. It was a facade, the appearance of this room. Everyday, he added a little something. It wasn’t complete, not until he would start working and be able to afford more. But the lamplight.

The stupid lamp that painted the room in gold. It was a fraud,

The only gold in his life was you. 

And it had been so long since you guys last spoke, you may have forgotten about him.

Tugging at his hair, he grimaced with distress. Since he came back, he tried so hard to avoid thinking about the last time you spoke, but it was haunting now. Trying to fight it, he paced his room and looked for anything to distract him. It was late, and Jeno was already asleep. 

He tried playing one of his playlists. It was a big mistake. After a few songs, Galaxy Eyes played through his computer speakers. His heart sunk. He moved to his computer, his fingers hovering over the skip button. Frozen in time, the piano tunes wrapping around his heart and his throat. Your eyes popped into his mind, shining and smiling just for him. Moving his finger over a few buttons down, he turned up the volume. 

Allowing his body to fall back on his bed, he stared back at that dreaded golden light. It wasn’t his focus anymore, not when your song was floating all around him. His eyes fluttered closed and just this once… he allowed in the memory.

///

It was one of those days. 

It wasn’t one based on sheer luck, like smudging one’s clean shoes or breaking one’s headphones. 

It was one of those days one tries to avoid so badly but it’s inevitable. No matter what he did or what he said, it couldn’t be avoided. Because it’s not he who causes this kind of day. 

Slamming his bedroom door, he could hear the scream from downstairs but he ignored it, tuning it out. His chest was heaving and his eyes were flooded, but he ignored it all. Making a beeline to the corner of his room, he snatched his backpack and shoved in some articles of clothing. 

He was angry at himself for crying, despised it when he did. He continued to fill his bag to the brim, swiping his arm across his eyes before he made his way to his bedroom door once more.

Pausing for a moment, his eyes stared at the wood through his hazy vision. Inhaling, exhaling, he braced himself. Taking a moment to think, he turned and went to the end table beside his bed. Rummaging through the drawer, he found his headphones and felt a sense of relief flooding his veins. 

Plugging them in, one of MAD’s older albums began playing in his ears, washing over him like a bath. 

Without any hesitation, he strode out of his room. Trying to focus on the lyrics, he could still hear the screaming over it. As he dashed down the stairs, he blasted the music as loud as it could go and walked past the living room without looking. 

He could hear the yelling directed at him for a moment but he ignored it. 

He couldn’t be in this place, not tonight. 

He made it to the backyard, closing the door behind him. Rocket rushed to him happily, unaware. Donghyuck kneeled down, managing a laugh when Rocket licked at his already damp cheeks. 

“Let’s go, Rock. We’re going to go to Jisung’s.” He didn’t waste any second clipping his leash on before heading out the side gate. 

The farther he walked, the lighter his chest felt. 

It was still too hot for it to be late evening. Donghyuck hoped his face looked damp with sweat instead. Looking down at Rocket, who hadn’t stopped wagging his tail, made his heart settle. 

On his way to Jisung’s, he called him to let him know he was coming. Jisung knew the drill and didn’t question him, only told him he’d get the guest room ready. After he hung up, that’s all he had intended to do. Call only Jisung. But his eyes found your name in his recent calls list, and he found himself clicking on it. 

The sad thing was, this shit always happened. 

He knew this was what he was coming back to, for the summer. Donghyuck simply had ridiculous hope that it wouldn’t be.

It didn’t take long, not at all, for things to go to shit. 

Being back here was draining, and the longer he was back the more he couldn’t remember how much better life was back at school. Back with you.

“Hyuck! I was just thinking about you!”

Donghyuck remained silent, his gaze hard and focused on the distance. The tears were relentless, and it made him angry that he was so affected. Still, he made sure his voice was stable before talking. 

“Hey.”

Even though he was good at hiding his tears, you sensed something was wrong. “What’s wrong?”

Donghyuck paused in his trek, stood frozen in the middle of the sidewalk. Rocket circled him, nuzzling his other limp hand. He closed his eyes, his heart twisting in his chest.

“I…” With one word, his voice broke so he made sure it was stable once more before continuing, “I need some time.”

“Some time? What do you mean?”

Ah, how your voice was the sound of his favorite song. It worked wonders, was his tether to a different life. But the tether was stretched taut, far into the future until he reunited with you. It was hard to see that, when he was surrounded by darkness.

“I have… things. I don’t want you to be apart of it. So I think,” He swallowed, so heavily that it hurt, “I just think it’ll be better if I disconnect for a while.”

There was silence on your end for what felt like hours. Donghyuck’s heart was racing so fast, it was running its own marathon. He had a headache, and he ignored that it was because he was holding back his tears as much as he could. His temple was throbbing with pain and his vision, blurry. The grip he had on his phone hurt, but he needed to hold on for you. 

You didn’t deserve this.

What could he do, though? He needed to prevent you, his universe, from meeting him, a black hole. 

“Hyuck....”

Clearing his throat, he said, “I can’t say, Y/N. I just… it’s better off if I’m away for a while.”

He didn’t know what to expect. Maybe yelling, or crying. Maybe for you to cuss him out. 

“Okay.”

Donghyuck squeezed his eyes closed. He was deathly silent for a moment, the world going quiet. He wanted to change his mind, or to tell you why it’s hard for him to communicate his feelings. But black holes ruin galaxies. 

“I’m sorry,” He whispered. 

When he ended the call, the world swallowed him whole and the volume was unrelenting. 

He could only kneel down, cover his head on that lonely sidewalk and hope it quieted on its own.

///

His eyes fluttered open, his heart aching. 

It had been months and he could still clearly hear your voice in his ear. 

You must’ve hated him now. 

Slowly, he moved his phone up to his face and checked the time. It was late, but not too late. It meant Jisung would still be awake. 

Plugging his headphones into his computer, he turned off his music and called Jisung. 

It took a few rings, but Jisung picked up. Donghyuck’s face softened at the sight of his friend, seeing his own reflection in his glasses.

“If you’re calling to nag me about Rocket. Don’t worry, dude. I dropped by to check on him earlier.”

“I wasn’t, but thank you.”

“No problem. I’m his best friend. Gotta look out for each other,” Donghyuck heard a meow from his end and Jisung looked off to the side. He bent down, and when he straightened out his cat was wrapped in his arms, “Aw, Daisy, you know I was just kidding. You’re my best friend.”

Donghyuck couldn’t control the smile on his lips, shaking his head. “I was just calling to check up on you.”

Jisung pressed a kiss into Daisy’s head before depositing her back off camera. Pushing his glasses back up his nose, he said, “Same old B.S. I’m not meant for high school. If success was based on maturity, I would be a billionaire by now.”

 “There’s high school billionaires, you know.”

Jisung stared off in thought before shrugging. “The world’s not ready for me yet.”

“You have a reply for everything, don’t you?”

“It’s apart of my charm.”

“In your dreams.”

Jisung remained unbothered, as he always was. It was a trait Donghyuck highly admired about him. The world needs more people like Jisung. 

“So, what’s on your mind?”

Donghyuck looked up at him, as if caught in the act. “What-”

“Come on, Hyuck. I know you very well. You only call to check up on me when you need to ask for my advice.”

Donghyuck had the decency to look bashful. “Sorry.”

Jisung blinked. “Don’t apologize. It’s apart of my responsibility. As your best friend, I have to read you well. Otherwise what am I here for?”

“To claim your Rocket’s best friend and fail high school chemistry.”

Jisung pointed at him. “Hey. I don’t judge you for your bad grades, don’t judge me for mine.”

Donghyuck raised his hands in peace. “Fair enough.”

His friend cracked a smile before reverting back to his usual serious nature. Well, that’s only how Jisung appeared. He had his own humor, his own way of portraying his happiness. Perhaps that’s how Donghyuck showed he was his best friend. After all, no one ever understood when he was joking like he did. Donghyuck knew him down to the quirk of his lips.

Taking a deep breath, he tried sorting his thoughts out before fully submerging.

“I, uh, I’m going camping with the group tomorrow. And by group, it includes Yuqi’s boyfriend, Renjun. Jaemin, Dahyun, and…” He blew a breath out of his lips. His eyes trailed up to Jisung, who patiently waited. A smile flickered on his mouth at the sight of Daisy climbing on him, stretching her body onto his shoulder.

“And Y/N?”

Donghyuck nodded. “And forgive me, but I’m freaking out.”

Jisung tilted his head, looking lost in thought. “Break it down for me.”

Once more, Donghyuck nodded as he breathed in to relax. This was their process, and it helped him more than he could express with words. If anyone knew that, though, Jisung did.

And so he did. It felt like the longer he talked, the more of the weight on his chest dissipated. He didn’t hold back, telling Jisung his concerns. He told him how afraid he was, how maybe you don’t even want to see him. He had been radio silent for so long, offering no explanation. 

You didn’t deserve that, and frankly, you didn’t deserve what he was giving you. How much time had passed, what, ten months? Since then, you guys hadn’t even truly broke down the meaning of the relationship. But you had never complained, always been happy whenever you were with him.

Regardless of that, he felt like he wasn’t giving you what he deserved. And it made him even more nervous to face you, because he didn’t feel good enough.

Jisung stayed quiet for a while after he finished, looking as if he were processing what was said. Donghyuck waited, feeling an immense amount of relief. He didn’t feel as frantic anymore, or as afraid. Jisung would tell him what he needed to hear. 

He couldn’t say it aloud, but regardless of his age, Jisung was indeed one of the wisest people he’d ever known. He was a gem and he was blessed to be his best friend. 

Jisung subconsciously cuddled Daisy close to him, scratching beneath her chin. The sight made Donghyuck’s heart ache, missing Rocket. 

Soon, Jisung nodded his head as if he finally collected his thoughts. Adjusting his glasses once more, he dove in with a steady voice. 

“Your feelings are valid. I understand why you would be afraid of facing her. You’ve gone a long time without talking to her, and it’s true that you don’t know how she’s viewing the situation. But you’re being way too hard on yourself. First of all, you didn’t go M.I.A for no reason. You had your own issues to deal with and you chose to take a step back from everything. You don’t owe anyone that.

“Yes, perhaps you could have given her more of an explanation. But you were in no way being malicious. Don’t ever forget that. You did what was best for you. If Y/N is the person you describe, she’ll understand that. Don’t give up before you’ve even tried. All you have to do is talk to her. And you don’t even have to tell her everything, just enough to show that you’re being sincere. Even then, I’ll think she’ll see it.”

Like magic, Jisung always knew what to say to comfort him. What he said truly helped him, walked him out into the light. He always knew what to say to get him to snap out of it. 

Sometimes, a person just needs someone to grab their hand to remind them they’re not alone. 

Donghyuck whispered, “Thank you.”

Jisung hummed, looking down at Daisy as he said, “It’s what best friends are for.”

~

Donghyuck stirred awake as the car fought against a road that fought back. Blinking away the drowsiness, he yawned silently, stretching out his back. Looking to the front seats, Jeno kept his hands firmly on the wheel in order to combat the rough road. Yuri, who was asleep the last time he checked, was now fully awake and bobbing her head to the radio. 

He turned his head to scope out his surroundings. It was vastly different from the city they lived in, and they were only about two hours North. It was so green, all around and everywhere he looked. It was refreshing to be surrounded by a sight in which you’re not familiar. 

It was peaceful, what he needed. 

The green forestry was exactly what he needed to try to remain calm. 

Rolling down his window, he rested his head back on the seat. The smell was also different. It smelled of pine and Christmas. He embraced it, thrived on it. It was what he needed to distract him from the impending nerves that would threaten to take him over. 

A memory struck him then, a memory of him at another time in another backseat. One where he was not alone, but accompanied by you. One of the most memorable nights of his life.

His eyes slid closed as his brain replayed the memory reel. He remembered how his heart beat in his ears, how his body was on end. How, with bated breath, you moved closer to him. He didn’t know where he found the courage to tip your head toward him, to feel your soft lips atop his. The moment your lips caressed his, he knew he was a complete goner. He was lost at sea, never to be found for the rest of his life. 

You were his sea, his galaxy, his universe. 

He would do whatever it took to kiss you for the rest of his life, to make you smile.

And he may have done a horrible job this summer, but he vowed to learn from it. 

Because a universe deserves to be admired. In the most utmost and proper way.

“We’re here.”

One car door slam, then two. Donghyuck was barely confident enough to open his own door. He continued to sit there, taking in the unsettling silence all around him. Very different from the city. A person doesn’t realize how loud the city can be until you’re gone. 

He heard the chatter, all of the voices mixing and some who were louder, like Renjun, echoing through the forest. 

The silence helped him, surprisingly. He was afraid his nerves would get the best of him and he’d hijack Jeno’s car back to his apartment. But no. His mind was still. Sure, his heart was a little frenzied. But something in him was quieter, parallel to the woods that were watching over them.

Straining his eyes through the windshield, he could see Renjun’s car parked up ahead. Jaemin and Dahyun had already started setting up the tents, Jeno quick to join him. Renjun was talking to Yuri, and Yuqi’s holler signalled him to open the trunk. 

Then there was you. 

His heart jumped at your appearance from the front of the car. Was his heart racing or slowing down? Donghyuck didn’t really understand how long three months was to not be in your presence, not until now. His heart was shooting stars while bursting into flames. Hugging the headrest of the driver's seat, he couldn’t help but watch you for a moment.

Just like that, everything in him went completely silent. 

You were wearing something new, something he had never seen you wear before. Your eyes were shining, and he figured it was because of your surroundings. You had once told him how much you liked experiencing new things. From what Jeno had been saying earlier, both you and Yuqi had never camped before.

“Hey! Where’s Hyuck?” Yuqi called to Jeno. 

At the sound of his name, Donghyuck snapped out of his reverie. Tugging his cap as low as it could go, he stepped out of the car. Slamming the car door caused everyone’s chatter to subside. 

He wasn’t sure if he was meant to hear her, but he heard Yuri utter, “Grumpy’s awake.”

Ignoring her, he walked up to the small group that was congregating. It took everything in his power to not look at you. 

Dapping Renjun up, he pulled on the most believable smile.

“It’s been way too long, Ren. How ya holding up? Not tired of Yuqi yet?”

“Watch it,” She growled, pausing in her task of unloading the trunk.

Renjun only beamed. “I could never be tired of her.”

Donghyuck gripped his shoulder and whispered playfully, “Give it time.”

“Aye Hyuck! Come help us set this tent up,” Jaemin called Hyuck as he acknowledged him with a head nod, “Ren, you too! What do you think you’re doing, standing around and doing jack shit?”

Ren spluttered before saying, “I’m not doing nothing! I’m helping the girls-”

“It’s okay. I got it,” Dahyun offered, shooting him a sympathetic look, “Get the ice chests out.”

“Yeah, actually, Renjun couldn’t assemble anything to save his life,” Jaemin poked fun, diving into a story about how Renjun nearly killed him by assembling his bed stand poorly. 

Donghyuck stepped toward the tent before he paused in his steps. Slowly, too slowly, he turned his head. 

He met your gaze head on.

His heart jumped, but you would never be able to tell. The love he had for you encased his body, making him as light as a cloud as he looked into those stunning eyes. 

But you would never know. 

For him, he could only show you his love through actions. It was a whole other story for him to say it, and over the years he learned to accept that part about himself. But now, as he looked at how beautiful you were with the Sun beaming down on you… he just wanted to shout it out loud and let the forest carry his voice.

I love this girl.

Instead, he looked at you beneath the shadow of his cap. You probably only saw the slight tug downward on his lips. And then he was on his way, feeling your eyes on him as he headed toward the rest of the group. 

~

“Didn’t he say we’d be at the lake by now?” Yuqi heaved, stopping dead in her tracks. 

The Sun was ruthless, beating down on them from up above. It had to have been half an hour since they began their trek from their campout, trying to find the lake that was supposed to be nearby.

“Stop complaining. We’re almost there,” Jeno said, leading the pack and sounding completely unaffected.

“No, dude, she’s right. You said that like ten minutes ago,” Jaemin pointed out.

Jeno’s face screamed agitation, narrowed eyes and pursed lips. 

“Look, did I come camping with my friends or a bunch of crybabies?”

Donghyuck shook his head, muttering, “Jackass,” Before hollering, “And did we come with our friend or a camp counselor?”

For whatever reason, he sensed your laugh more than heard it. His eyes snapped to the back of your head, your back shaking with a silent laugh. He had made sure to hang back enough for your sake, always keeping an eye on you as you trekked beside Yuri and Jaemin. 

Renjun was behind him to be by Yuqi. Dahyun was the closest to Jeno.

Under different circumstances, this experience could’ve been a nice memory of the group.

It was too hot and uncomfortable to even begin to cherish it.

“You know what? Why don’t I go ahead without you guys and then come back when I find it?” Jeno said, trying to sound as nice as possible.

“No, that’s stupid,” Yuqi voiced.

Her response only made the guy frown. “Then stop whining. Before I leave your asses here.”

“Damn. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”

“What?” He called back, but she and Renjun giggled together like schoolgirls.

Donghyuck merely rolled his eyes. 

“You guys hear that?” You called, your voice sounding innocent and excited. It made him smile. “It’s water!”

Just like that, you took off. Yuri followed after you, and Donghyuck couldn’t help but want to be near you. So he rushed to keep up. 

You were right, of course.

Right up ahead was a secluded, beautiful lake. It was gorgeous, how the Sun acted as a spotlight atop its surface. No one hesitated to ditch their gear on the lakeside before heading straight for the water.

Jeno dove in, followed by Yuri cannonballing nearby. You dipped your toe in, yelling at the temperature. Unfortunately, you were unaware of Jaemin behind you as he jumped in, taking you with him.

Donghyuck noticed he was smiling while he watched you and fixed his face, setting his backpack down before sitting up against it.

“You’re not getting in?” Yuri asked him. 

Without looking at her, he said, “Nope.” “Me either. I’m too hungry to even swim,” Dahyun sighed, spreading out near him.

“Suit yourself,” Yuri said before taking off and running clumsily into the water. 

“Is she always like that?” Donghyuck muttered, still grouchy towards the newcomer.

“Trust me, she gets… better the longer you’re around her,” Dahyun said.

Donghyuck could only shake his head. For a while, he could only watch you. It was crazy, how impossible it was to look away from you. He watched as you and Jaemin got into a splash fight, you managing to dunk his head in the water before he grabbed you and tossed you away from him. His eyes stayed on you as you floated on your back, your eyes squeezed shut. 

It was funny. 

Here he was, surrounded by beautiful scenery. 

All he could look at was you.

“Why don’t you just go talk to her?”

No one was more surprised that Dahyun was telling him that than him. After all, she was your friend. He almost expected to be chewed out, or told to stay away from you. 

“I-uh-what?”

“You guys both seem like you miss each other. I don’t know the details, I just know she misses you a lot and looked forward to you coming back.”

“What?” He said, unable to hide his confusion. Was she talking about you? The girl he so abruptly told he was going off the grid? The girl who must’ve hated him?

Dahyun had her shades on, so he couldn’t observe her eyes. But her voice was as sincere as it could get. 

“Yup. You know this, Hyuck. She’s crazy about you. Just like you are about her.”

If possible, his heart grew as nervous as it did before, this time for an entirely different reason. This time, when he turned and watched you splash around, all smiles, one question struck his mind.

You don’t hate me?

~

As the night grew closer, the air cooled down and everyone cozied up by the fire Jeno started in the pre-made fire pit. Luckily, some of them had thought to bring lawn chairs, so there were seats for some. For the people remaining, Donghyuck included, they found a sturdy piece of tree trunk to carry toward the fire in order to sit. 

“...And the father said, ‘We don’t have a clown statue’...” Renjun whispered the last part, the light from the fire casting an eerie glow along his face. Yuqi was visibly shaken, shuffling closer to him as subtly as she could. On the other side of the fire, Donghyuck watched you as you shook your head in amusement. So both of you were on the same page. None of the scary stories got under your skin.

Your eyes flickered to him, but instead of looking away Donghyuck cracked a smile. You returned it, your eyes shy before dancing away. It nearly made his heart give out as he straightened on the log, Jeno poking at the fire before taking a seat beside you. 

He listened in when Jeno quietly said, “We need more wood.” Clicking on a flashlight, he beamed it in your face and laughed at your outburst. “Want to come with?”

Donghyuck bit back the jealousy he felt watching you and Jeno walk away together, not far by any means but feeling the familiar green sneak up on him whenever any situation involved the two of you.

“Staring at them makes it obvious, you know.”

He was surprised when he turned to find Yuri watching him. Her voice was soft and genuine. Instead of feeling his usual annoyance with her, he merely gave her a questioning look. Her gaze turned to look at where he had been previously staring.

“Trust me, I get it. But it’s better to not make it obvious.”

Suddenly, it dawned on him. Watching Yuri’s longing stare at Jeno, how she quickly redirected her attention. He wondered if he looked like that too. 

His eyes found Jeno when he returned, you in tow. The pair of you were talking excitedly, Jeno laughing through his response. For whatever reason, Donghyuck looked at him with a new set of eyes.

This was a good friend of his, yes. But there were sides of him he had yet to know and recognize, sides to him that he couldn’t possibly understand. Maybe Jeno didn’t know how Yuri felt about him. But maybe he did, and just didn’t care.

It wasn’t his place to figure out.

And so, as the night continued on, Donghyuck did what he always did. He simply let himself blend in with the background and observe what was going on. It seemed like Dahyun and Yuri were close, the two of them huddled close before calling it a night and heading to one of the tents. 

Yuqi and Renjun were off in their own little world, before Jeno trudged over and started up a conversation. Jaemin was nodding off in the seat next to you, so you shook his arm gently and whispered something to him, which made him stand and head to the second tent, the one he, Donghyuck and Jeno would be sharing. 

And even though the two of you weren’t the only ones awake, the atmosphere shifted.

Suddenly, it was you, Donghyuck, and the woods.

He didn’t hide it anymore, his eyes on you. His attention peered over the fire, the warmth emanating just enough to keep him warm. He didn’t know if it was intentional, but his hoodie was hanging off of your body, his favorite red hoodie he had given you a few months back.

It rested on you like a blanket, making you look soft and adorable. Your eyes were trained on the bonfire, your hands held up and outstretched to warm them up. You looked at peace, no signs of distress or unhappiness sketched in your features.

It made him happy to see you happy.

Kind of nice, how only a look at you silenced his mind. 

Just then, you looked straight at him, likely aware he had been looking the entire time. It made his heart jump, waiting for your reaction. You offered him a line, showcasing that sweet smile of yours.

It made him dizzy. 

With Dahyun’s encouragement from earlier ringing in his ears, he stood to his feet. To try and calm down his nerves, he listened to the crunch of leaves beneath his boots. Brushing off his jacket, he pulled his hood on and tried to keep his hands busy. Anything to keep his cool.

He reached you too soon, not enough time to figure out what to say. 

It was like you knew that, though, looking up at him with what he could only perceive as happiness. 

“Hey,” You said softly, offering him the sweetest smile he had ever seen. It hurt his heart in the most beautiful way. And he knew it would haunt him for the rest of his life. It was a haunting he would welcome with open arms. 

The bonfire glow had nothing on you. It was the spotlight on the main act. You were the sky he admired every single night. 

He didn’t realize he was holding his breath, shuffling his feet before grabbing the chair Jaemin had previously been sitting in and pulling it slightly closer. He kept some distance, though, still not quite sure what you were feeling.

“Hey,” He said, sounding a little too breathless. He avoided looking at you, bending over to rest his elbows on his thighs. Looking away, his thoughts began screaming again, questions blurring all together. Trying to get a hold on anything, he stared at the bonfire, chaotic but controlled. That’s what he’d like to be.

Chaotic but controlled.

“You dyed it back.”

“Huh?” The fire of his brain sizzled out at the sound of your voice.

“Your hair,” You reached over and picked up a strand of his hair, oh so gently. Your touch stilled his heart, because it was so timid he could barely feel it. It was more your closeness he could feel. He was soaking in it. “You were so bent on keeping it orange.”

Donghyuck grimaced, failing to notice you pulling your chair closer as he rubbed at his face. “Yeah, well, I thought it was time to go natural again.”

He side-eyed you, his heart picking up at the sight of you holding your chin in your hand. You were ethereal, angelic. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to that. 

“It’s okay. I like it. You’re handsome either way.”

His mouth opened slightly at your words. It had been months since the two of you entertained these feelings between the two of you. Yet, he could never get used to your praise.

Swallowing thickly, his eyes danced back to yours. You looked a little smug at his reaction, and he would never tell you how seductive you looked. 

Did you know the effect you had on him?

Probably not. 

“Truth is, I kept it orange all that time for you.”

This time, it was you who were surprised. “What? Why?”

“You once told me I stole hearts when my hair was that color. So I kept dyeing it.” Believe it or not, it was kind of hard for him to even tell you that. But he did. Because you deserve way more than he gave you the last time you spoke. For whatever reason, you weren’t telling him to piss off. 

You poked his cheek, feeling his cheek grow warm at the contact. “You told me it was because it reminded you of MAD.”

“That was a cover up,” A laugh escaped his lips, “Well, it’s because of MAD a little bit.”

“I’ll take that.” The two of you stayed quiet for a while, observing the woods around you. It was pretty much pitch black past the campsite, but Donghyuck welcomed it. There was something serene about where they were at now, not eerie anymore like he originally thought. He had a sneaking suspicion it had to do with you.

The feeling of your hand on his forearm spread across the expanse of his body. 

You didn’t know that. Whenever you touched him, he felt it from head to toe. 

To you, you likely only saw a collected facial expression as he stared at you. What would you do if you knew how insane you made him feel?

“I’m so happy you’re back. I missed you.”

“You did?”

“Of course I did,” It was your turn to look away, but he was hanging onto your words. Subconsciously, he moved closer to you, his face nearly inches away from yours. Your voice wavered, the worry in it making his heart ache. “I was worried about you. But you’re strong.”

Is he strong? Is that how you saw him?

For a moment, he was suspended in midair. What he did next, he knew he needed to do. If you threw a line, it was his turn. You deserved so much from him and he wanted to give it to you.

So, he rested his hand above yours. Your eyes widened, looking back at him. He tried to keep his face open, his icy fingers wrapping around your warm ones. “I’m sorry. For worrying you, and for taking so long. But… I’m back. I’m not going anywhere and…” He shook his head, frustrated with himself. Just say something, explain to her.

The burning question of the hour: Why am I such an asshole?

Before he fully submerged in his head, he jerked at the sensation of your hand cupping his cheek. Opening his eyes- he hadn’t realized they’d closed- he was staring into your eyes. A galaxy looked back at him. 

“Hyuck, I understand. I admit, it was confusing and it was hard to not reach out. But I wanted to respect your wishes. We all have our issues, and you wanted to spend some time away. I don’t hold that against you. You’re here and you don’t have to worry about me. Are you okay?”

He hoped the bonfire didn’t give away his glossy eyes. “I am now.”

You beamed like his own personal lighthouse. Intertwining your fingers, you raised his hand to your mouth and pressed a gentle kiss on the back of it. He could only be amazed by you. 

Here he was, concocting all these ideas about how you were going to react poorly, how you were probably done with him and his tendency to be difficult. He didn’t even consider the possibility that you would be understanding.

How foolish of him, considering you were compassionate since the day you gave him a chance. 

Donghyuck couldn’t control his own happiness on his mouth, flipping your hand to give you his own kiss. 

For the most part, his mind was quiet. 

There was one question in its depths.

How did I get so lucky?

~

It was a beautiful day, one that would echo in the crevices of their minds long after their departure. Nothing but the Earth surrounded them, forestry and sounds of distant birds chattering among themselves. That, and a group of joyous friends splashing around were the only sounds that could be heard. 

Among those friends were Renjun and Yuqi, a passionate couple that found they complemented each other’s fierce personalities. A boy who hardly gave his heart away, but when he did it was well-earned.

There were Jaemin and Dahyun, in the middle of a splash fight. Loyal friends, who may not always be near but would always linger in a friend’s heart. Whether it be late night karaoke or on days like this one. 

Yuri was a new addition to the group, loud and proud. Her vibrant voice overtook much of the day’s activities, and her tendency to attract attention was unintentional. Given a chance, she grows on you. She could even make Donghyuck laugh when she cannon-balled near him, completely soaking him.

There was Jeno, a lone wolf, who pretended he was fine when he was alone. Maybe, if he tested himself, he could survive. Why would he want to, though, when he had incredible companions by his side? Upon first glance, he’s a boy that makes you question ever laying your eyes on beauty. He’s an innocent crush, a last stab at unblemished youth. When given the chance, he’ll become a good friend.

Donghyuck and Y/N. 

In a solitary and intimate wood, they found their way back to each other. Truth be told, they never really left. Y/N, headstrong and sentimental, could only wrap her arms around the boy’s neck as he threatened to dunk her in the water. He didn’t know that she was already fully submerged in the sea, submerged in it every time she looks in his eyes. 

Ignoring his threats of a water fight, she tugged him closer by the neck and pressed her lips on his, reminding him that she will not let go. 

That left Donghyuck, the boy whose heart raced miles a minute while his mind travelled at the speed of light. He was a cacophony of complexity, someone endless and if intrigued by the wrong person, considered frustrating. 

Not to you, of course.

When he looked at you, he could find simplicity. 

He never knew it was that easy, to find something he never really thought existed. 

Pulling you close in that lake water, staring into your galaxy eyes and soaking you in, no questions rung in his mind. 

All of them had been answered for that brief and closed off moment. 

If he had you, that’s all he needed. 

As he pressed a kiss to your nose, looking at you with all the fondness in the world, there was one statement at the forefront of his mind.

I’m lucky to have you as my universe.

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Mannequin’s knife hand went limp, dangling at his side.  His other hand remained in position, finger wagging, as if admonishing me for what I had been doing.  Saving people from the Nine, tending to the hurt and scared.

Right, because how dare people do something interesting, when you're insistent on being so damn BORING?

[inkovsky]

Today is the anniversary of the 1911 Revolution.

The decline of Hong Kong stocks did not stop. The Hang Seng Index opened 160 points lower on Friday to 17,851 points, and maintained a decline of more than 200 points in the morning market. It fell by 294 points in the afternoon, and fell to a low of 17,717 points. It closed at a near all-day low and closed at 17,740 points, down 272 points. The Hang Seng Technology Index fell 120 points to 3,539. The main board transaction was further reduced to only HK$57 billion. Excluding the half-day market, it hit a new low in more than 10 months since September 27, 2019.

To sum up the whole week, the Hang Seng Index rose 518 points; the HS Tech Index rose 89 points.

A number of negative factors that have plagued Hong Kong stocks, such as global inflation, interest rate hikes, and geopolitics, have continued. The Hang Seng Index is likely to continue the decline of US stocks last Friday and open lower. The rising gap last Wednesday (17,252 to 17,682) is an important short-term support. If the gap is fully filled and falls below 17,000 points, it will have to test the low of 16,123 points. A further loss would lead to a fall towards the earlier calculated target of 15,634.

China's foreign exchange reserves at the end of September stood at US$3.029 trillion, US$25.926 billion less than at the end of August, falling for two consecutive months and hitting a 5.5-year low, but higher than market expectations.

The Hong Kong Monetary Authority announced that official foreign exchange reserve assets at the end of last month were US$419.2 billion, a decrease of US$12.6 billion from a month earlier, marking the 10th straight monthly decline. The total foreign exchange reserve assets of US$419.2 billion is equivalent to more than five times the currency in circulation in Hong Kong, or about 41% of the Hong Kong dollar M3 money supply.

The US employment data in September was better than expected, supporting Fed officials to continue to raise interest rates aggressively to fight inflation. The swap market showed that the interest rate would be increased by 0.75% in November. U.S. stocks fell on Friday.

The Dow opened significantly lower by 241 points and then expanded its losses. Nearly half an hour before the market closed, it once plunged 784 points to a low of 29,142 points. It still closed down 630 points (2.11%) at 29,296 points. The benchmark index tumbled as much as 3.31 percent, before closing down 104 points (2.8 percent) at 3,639. The Nasdaq plunged 4.2% in water and closed down 420 points (3.8%) at 10,652.

For the week, the Dow rose 1.99%, the SSI rose 1.51%, and the Nasdaq climbed 0.73%.

[alaturkanews]

Million of Americans travel home after long Labor Day weekend

Million of Americans travel home after long Labor Day weekend

According to the travel app Hopper, 12.6 million Americans were expected to fly over the Labor Day holiday weekend, which would make this year the busiest Labor Day weekend since before the pandemic. Aviation writer Ted Reed joins CBS News to discuss the high number of travelers getting away over despite inflation and the ongoing issues plaguing the airline industry. CBS News Streaming Network is…

[krixwell-liveblogs]

End of Plague 12.6

That was an alright chapter. Not super exciting until Mannequin showed up, but sometimes we gotta take a moment to deal with this kind of thing. Taylor’s story isn’t all about the battles and deadly situations.

Skitter did really well dealing with the crowd in this chapter. While I did find myself with not too much to comment on at times, it was neat to see Skitter take charge so effectively, once she actually got people to listen to her.

I still really like Charlotte’s role in this chapter. The way she stepped forward to help Skitter get the crowd to join in on helping was a real power move, and shows a bit of character development as she stepped forward as an example against bystanderism, the exact thing Taylor chewed her out for after she stood up against bystanderism for Charlotte’s sake.

Mannequin showing up did help the chapter become more interesting at the end, though it was primarily setting up the next chapter.

So, next chapter, it’s bug girl versus bug-blocker. Well, that can only go well, right?

Okay, but seriously, it’s not like Taylor hasn’t been up against enemies who are mostly immune to her bugs before. She’ll probably think of something good to get around it! :)

See you then!

[bongaboi]

San Diego State: 2021 Mountain West Men's Basketball Champions

LAS VEGAS -- — San Diego State lost the last two Mountain West Tournament championship games to Utah State, and hadn't been to the NCAA Tournament since 2018.

It was time to turn the tables Saturday.

Matt Mitchell scored 14 points to lead No. 19 San Diego State to a 68-57 victory over the Aggies to win the title and secure the league's automatic berth into the NCAA Tournament.

"I know the guys that were there last year definitely had it in mind," said Mitchell, who was named the tournament's MVP. "We kind of hoped that Utah State would be here so we could get our redemption."

The Aztecs, who also won the regular-season championship, had lost six of their previous seven title game appearances.

It marked just the fifth time the No. 1 seed won the title in 22 years.

Nathan Mensah added 10 points and eight rebounds for the Aztecs, and Trey Pulliam also scored 10.

It marked the third straight tournament game the Aztecs had at least three players score in double figures. Six different players scored in double figures in the event, including Pulliam in all three games.

"Our depth was something that was important, and it paid off for us in the end," San Diego State coach Brian Dutcher said. "I think we had fresh legs down the stretch cause we could rest players. Everybody that plays for us contributes and it's a different player every night."

Junior center Neemias Queta led the Aggies with 18 points, six rebounds, and three blocked shots. Justin Bean added 12 points and six rebounds.

San Diego State (23-4) snapped Utah State's six-game winning streak, during which the Aggies (20-8) had allowed just 58.5 points per game. The Aztecs had their 58th point by the 5:53 mark of the second half.

Meanwhile, San Diego State held the Aggies to their second-lowest output of the season, 16.9 points below their season average of 73.9.

In a battle between the league's two most stringent defenses, San Diego State exhibited its dominance with a 10-2 edge in steals. The turnover margin was seven, with Utah State committing 16 costly turnovers the Aztecs turned into 14 points.

Already having suffered a regular-season sweep by Utah State, the Aztecs wasted no time at distancing themselves from the second-seeded Aggies by using a 6-0 run to start the second half and take a 34-24 lead and never really looked back.

The first half was eerily similar to last year's championship game, which saw the teams combine to shoot 19 of 58 (32%) in the first half while scoring 50 points. In this game, the teams were 21 for 57 (36.8%) and combined to score 52 pts in the first half.

Outside of Queta, the Aggies couldn't get much going with their offense, as the 7-footer had 12 of the team's 24 points. While Queta was 4 of 6 from the floor in the first 20 minutes, the rest of the Aggies were just 5 of 18 (27.7%) from the field. Utah State was also plagued with turnovers, committing eight under San Diego State's tenacious defense.

"There's just a play here and a play there that can just change the game," Utah State coach Craig Smith said. "This time around they made just a few more of those than we did. A couple of catastrophic turnovers … we just jumped and threw it, and they get a steal and go the other way. Those are big time game-changers and momentum-changers."

Though the Aztecs weren't as offensively efficient as Utah State in the first half, hitting just 12 of 33 (36.4%), they got better balance with six shooters contributing on the stat sheet.

With the loss, the Aggies now await their fate for a bid into the NCAA Tournament. Though Utah State has looked every bit like a team that deserves a bid, there's never a guarantee with the selection committee as the Mountain West has been a conference denied at-large bids mainly due to its lack of Quad 1 wins. The Aggies have just two Quad 1 wins and one Quad 2 victory. It also has its two regular season wins over San Diego State.

"The top of this league is very strong," Dutcher said. "Hopefully were a multi-bid league. But I know when those doors close and they get in that room, over the years the Power of 5s have won the day. Hopefully that changes tomorrow."

BIG PICTURE:

Utah State: The Aggies came into the game ranked 22nd in the nation with 12.6 offensive rebounds per game, and with 136 more boards on the offensive glass than their opponents. Saturday they finished with 12.

San Diego State: Saturday marked the fifth time this season Mensah had at least eight points and eight rebounds. It was the first time he had accomplished the feat since Feb. 8.

UP NEXT

Utah State: Hopes for an NCAA Tournament bid

San Diego State: NCAA Tournament

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[vacationdxm]

Shidafzan: Financial Management (Chapter 9: Debt Valuation And Interest Rates)

In summary, the yield to maturity will be the real return, plus premiums for inflation, default, and maturity. Thus, if they feel that A Rod, based upon his current skill level (and age), is worth only $3 million a year for the next 5 years, they should be willing to consider trading him to another team (assuming he okays the trade) that will offer even a little bit more (say $3.1 million/year) in return, and eat the rest of the contract (about hundred million). A broker can be on the trading floor or can make trades by phone or electronically. In Line A, you can see there was a high volume of trading activity that corresponded with a drop in the the boutique price. Consequently, there was concern that Facebook’s stock price would take a beating on November 14, but the stock price climbed 12.6% on that day. Accordingly, investors worried about stock market volatility should consider Nutrien as a safe income play with excellent growth upside over the long term. The stock market response to news of vaccine progress allowed the researchers to calibrate a model to estimate the economywide financial gain that would be attributable to a cure. Turn off your financial news channel, don't read opinion stories about Apple and avoid equity research reports like the plague.

I look for clues in the foreign exchange market, where the US Dollar is testing an important uptrend line and what it tells me about the nature of sector leadership and their implications for the direction of equity prices. There are a host on intriguing questions that derive from lockups, their expiration and the market reaction to them, and I think it is worth taking a look at them. Based on my estimates, and they could be skewed by my Apple bias, at its current stock price of $440, there is a 90% chance that the stock is under valued. Do not track the day to day stories: In an increasingly connected world, I know that this is really difficult to do, but there is no harm trying. Below is a list of stocks that are worth watching for September 1 , 2009. Also, check out the Biggest stock Gainers of the Day.