#Pfffffffffffft

[rennyrose]

your men are the BEST shape

Hhhhhhhhh men… 💖 hgghfhffjhf women….💖

[elderwisp]

the crow's long lost cousin, the pigeon. alright i'm out

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[cavetopeerskj]

[niaofei]

A completely random corrupted starcall of unknown origin lands on the tip of Niaofei's tail.

She let a loud scream of pain as she pull her tail into her arms, tears in the eyes.

"Who, why, how?!"

[skullywullypully]

Imagine if they added 3d models to Ibis paint x like Clip Studio Paint. 👀👀👀

[exalteranima]

[pervertgirl27]

LET ME POOP IM TIRED OF FARTING!!!!!!!!!!!

[sir-yeehaw-paws]

kajsndak NICK CAGE????? party like 2003 everyone

[contentloadingandstuff]

Drinking with Rosaria & Eula!

CW: Male!Reader, swearing, reader and character are drunk to some degree, not proofread, ignore the implication of Disney existing in Teyvat okay?

Rosaria doesn't stray from alcohol, not by any means. She never gets drunk, or at least that's what she claims. Not in public anyway. If the drinks pour a little too fast for clarity of mind to remain, the notoriously horny sister becomes a literal succubus. No five minutes may pass without a dirty remark of some sort, suggestive gestures or not-so-restrained touching. She also tends to cuss a lot. But who cares, if all of it is contained within your own four walls? Your drunk self certainly doesn't. 

The fifth anniversary of your dating was upon you, so you and Rosaria thought that a few drinks wouldn't hurt. Well, Rosaria has a different definition of 'a few drinks'. By now, two bottles of Dandelion Wine are completely dry, with a third one already open. The wine glasses are halfway full, the two of you already blushing heavily. Rosaria is sitting on your lap, placing sloppy kisses all over your neck. You playfully push her away every now and then, but she dives right back in no time. 

"R-Rosie… Your wine will get warm, you know?" You mutter, barely keeping composure under the barrage of kisses she delivers. 

"Pfffffffffffft. Who cares… You're alllll I need baby~" 

"No, seriously. Who wants to drink warm wine?" 

She pulls away, seemingly considering your words. It takes a while, but she finally nods her head. 

"Yeah. You're right." She down the entire glass in one go, and sighs loudly. "Mmm, That's the stuff…" 

You look at her. Despite the river of alcohol clouding your mind, you see clearly. You see her, your beloved, your chosen, your girlfriend. Her pale skin, her delicate yet sharp features, her slim, painted lips, her slender fingers, her rich chest… The wine turns your awe into obsession. You grab her jaw and turn her face to look at you. 

"Rosaria… you're… the most beautiful woman I have ever seen…" You mutter. So beautiful, mysterious, so unique, so enchanting, so tantalizing… 

Like a vampire. 

"Like a vampire…" Your thoughts escape your mind. Rosaria draws a smile. 

"Hm?" 

"Are you one? A vampire, I… I mean. You gonna suck my blood out, Rosie?" 

Even if you are drunk, your mind still works. It has some merit. She has pale skin, she goes out only at night, she likes red fluids… and those teeth… your neck, your hands, your arms, your thighs, your stomach and your… other bits know the sting of those canines all too well by now. 

Rosaria chuckles. "Nah, s-sorry. I'm not gonna drink your blood, but I will gladly suck something else, hehe~" She leans down and makes a small growling sound. 

"Rosariaaaaa!" You both laugh. She pulls back and wraps her arms around your neck. 

"I talked to a four-eyes once, you know? About my skin."

"Ah, I see… What did he tell you?" You finish up your glass of wine. 

"He told me that my ancestors may have come from Wat… Watsu…Tsu.. Watsumi Island, was it? Eh, close enough." She sniffs. "Fuckin' fish people, anyway."

"You are looking fishy sometimes, that I will give you…" 

"I never found any scales, gills, fins or whatevers on me. Sad." She hics. "I wanted to be a mermaid when I was a teeny tiny girl, you k-know? I wanted to swim below the waters, a-and sing songs, a-and play with my fish friends… I always wanted a crab, you know? I would name him… Sebastian."

You sit in silence for a minute, smiling like children at each other before the lyrics can no longer be contained. 

"Under the sea, under the sea, darling it's better, down where it's wetter, take it from meeeeeeeee, up on the shore they work all day, out in the sun they slave away, while we devotin', full time to floatin', under the seaaaaaaaaaaaa…" You sing in drunken unison, ending the broken auditory mess of a cover with a hard burst of laughter. When Rosaria calms down, she leans into you, her lips pressed right against your ear. 

"You know what else he told me?" 

"Hm?"

"H-he told me that young men need to have sex to be healthy… And, baby, I will make you the healthiest man in Teyvat, heh~" She sloppily kisses your ear, sending shivers of excitement through your body. She pulls away, and pushes up her chest proudly. "D-doctor Rosaria prescribes you her tight, warm, wet cun-" 

"Rosariaaaaa stoooooooooop!" 

As expected, neither of you remembered the conversation in the morning. 

Eula got drunk sometimes - during free days, of course. She was doing that more often before, mainly due to stress and soul-crushing loneliness. She would often cry herself to sleep after returning home, but now that she has you, that's no longer an occurrence. Since she tends to get very sad when drunk, she allows herself to be tipsy at most. Not to spoil your fun, since you tend to be quite entertaining to be around when you had too much to drink. 

"Are you sure you want another one, my dear?" 

Eula stops herself from pouring you another round from the bottle but you just wave your hand. 

"Go for it. I'm still standing!" 

She smirks, letting the liquid fill the cup. "Well, as you wish."

You grab the wooden vessel and instantly lift it to your lips. The cool taste of wine reaches your lips and the warmth spreads through your body oh so pleasantly. Mondstadt's wine never had low alcohol content. 

"You know, I don't get it." You speak, eyes barely ajar. 

"What exactly, Y/N?" Eula eyes her own cup carefully, trying to hold herself from filling it. Again. 

"I don't understand w-why they hate you… You didn't do anything wrong." You look up at her, your eyes filled with sadness. "You're a good woman, Eula. You do great w-work, you keep the people safe, you kill monsters…" 

She looks down, unsure of what to say. After a moment, she speaks quietly. "It is what it is."

She suddenly feels your hand move over hers. It's warm, so pleasantly warm, enveloping hers. She gasps quietly. "No, Eula. This cannot continue. I won't let you be sad anymore."

She looks up at you, straight into your eyes. This time, they are overflowing with kindness and love, the purest form of it. She frowns, trying to hold back the prickling feeling in her eyes. Why does she get so sensitive each time alcohol and you are involved? 

"I love you, Eula. I love you so much, I-I want you to be happy, and I will do my best to make up for all the hurt they have you. I… I never want to see you sad again, alright? I… love you, Eula. I love you so much."

She smiles at you, tears slowly falling from her cheeks. She doesn't deserve you.

"Go home, Y/N. You're drunk." Her lower lip trembles slightly. 

"H-home? But I am home, my love." 

Eula smirks, looking down at the bar table for a brief moment. "How so?" 

You reach over the table, and place your hand over her heart. Her skin is cold, but you feel the warmth radiating from within. 

"Home is where you are, Eula."

She blushes and covers her eyes with her gloved hand. She can no longer hold back the tears. She chokes back a sob. 

"I l-love you too, Y/N. I d-don't deserve you… truly…" 

"Hey, d-don't say that! And I told you t-that I don't want you to be sad, Eula… If you want to, we can go home a-and cuddle. Does that sound good?" 

She sniffs. 

"Yes, let's g-go home, Y/N."

Thanks for reading!

[aces-and-angels]

Annie: I’ve been dead for years. MC: Well I’m dead on the inside. Stop making this about you. 

"Hello, Rowan" Annie says as if she's DIDN'T jus trick me and my best friends. "Hello, little shit" I answer mentally.

correct response to seeing our mean ghost little sister

[fae-morrigan]

WAIT… I know I JUST sent that jay & damian brothers ask but do you think Jon would show up at Jay’s place to spend the night only to see Damian already there having shown up for an unannounced sleepover with Jay. Like Yes Jon is Obsessed with Jay, but between him and Damian…who really is the Biggest Jay Fan here…

PFFFFFFFFFFFFT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NO LITERALLY IVE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS TOO.

I think the thing is like. Damian's not really good at making friends (historically he always tries to kill them first, or vice versa, just what happens when you're a bat character aint it) so he at first has no idea what to do about the fact that his Favorite Twitch Streamer is now like. RIGHT THERE. And he can TALK to him. And sure, Jay's socially adept, but in the sense that he Knows The Scripts, not that he actually fully understands other people. This leads to a lot of awkwardness and Jay maybe assuming Damian doesn't like him at first.

I feel this ends up getting broken the first time they're left alone together. They just start talking, maybe they have a shared interest (shoujo manga??? eyes emoji) and then its like. From that point on they're totally on the same page about stuff. Especially making fun of Jon.

Once the barrier is broken, I feel there's this implicit understanding of each other that they don't really get elsewhere. Its the experience of coming to America from somewhere else, missing your home despite knowing the horrors of what you left behind, not being sure how to interact with others and always being assumed to be in the wrong. They can kind of talk about stuff that Damian can't talk about with the other bats, and Jay can know when he says something sort of radical he won't be taken at the worst interpretation.

I've also always thought that like, Jay is the one person Damian is incapable of sneaking up on (he's TRIED, SOMEHOW jay always knows hes there!!)

A lot of the time they just chill and play video games I do. Not much talking. Jon is like, "do you even get along? youre not talking to eachother" and Damian is like, "he is my best friend fuck you".

I also feel like, and you mentioned the stepbros au that I'm working on rn, but even outside of that I feel Jay is like. "Well. I guess I have a little brother now. Sick." He sees a lot of his younger self in Damian and in part I feel wants to make sure Damian has a better teenage expierience than he did (since I fully believe Jay had just THE WORST TIME in high school). Jay's one of like three people who Damian lets ruffle his hair without complaining about it.

Anyways, Jon showing up to Jay's apartment like "heyyyy Jay so glad to be alone with you- Damian what the hell are you doing here"

[softesteshouten]

PFFFFFFFFFFFFT.

Glad to see Jane was never homophobic. Just racist.

[naffeclipse]

Quick doodle of Y/n running from the rake

ALSJDFALSF AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHHA

AHHHHHHHAHAHAH

OKAY ALRIGHT YEAH PFFFFFFFFFFFFT

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

Dude imagine if Magnifico sang the demo of At all Cost but it was him falling in love again so it would change the "Promise as one does" to "Love you as one does" towards Myrah. Pfft! Magnifico loves his wife so much pfffffffffffft! Bro respects and loves his wife-ppppfffffffffttttt! (Jokes aside I'm turning into a fan of this ship)

Hi @strawberrybrunette

You know, now that you mention it, I might as well spill the tea on this 😏

This is exactly what happened. And yes, it is just as romanitc as you probably already assume it was!

The only difference is, that Magnifico never truly loved someone romantically until his soulmate/Myrah came along ❤️ And I'm SO glad you love them together 💖

Also, there is a surprise coming ✨️🎶 I've been planning to show this for a long time but now that you reminded me, pat yourself on the shoulder once it is posted 😉

[ratsoh-writes]

Pfffffffffffft hahahaha!

Lush is down if you are ;)