#Petition to get a therapist for mc therapist

[bluewolfangel01]

I feel uhhh so silllyy for requesting this but what if sheep mc snapped at like the brothers cuz there’s no way their 100+ year old asses are still acting like angsty teenagers (MC has a delusional joy moment😔😔😔)

It's okay, this is a very interesting request and I'm glad to do it 😁

I will specifically be writing Mc as a sheep like in the manga cause tiny pissed off sheep going off on tall and powerful demons is hilarious (sorry for the wait btw)

angy Mc is funny Mc and you can't change my mind

(I headcanon that the brothers sense their sin on Mc/you btw)

-Angy Mc-

Satan was the first one to sense something was up after a few minutes after his brothers and him started arguing

At first he wasn't sure what he was sensing, until he realized that he felt his sin, pure festering wrath

The worst part? He realized that it coming from Mc, who oddly enough was just sitting quietly on the couch, blankly staring at their phone in front of them

Satan went quite

Which caught the attention of the other brothers, who also turned their shouting at Satan, and even though Satan was very tempted to strick back at them, he held his tongue for once

Mc: "Can you all not fight, argue, or yell FOR ONE DAY?!"

It was at this point the brothers knew, they f#cked up (and went silent)

Mc: "Honestly, I know yall are brothers and demons so this kinda stuff is bound to happen but for Diavolo's sake this is getting ridiculous!"

Mc: *points hoof at Belphie* " Belphie. I know you're the avatar of sloth and therefore sleep a lot, but you can't solve all your problems and grief by sleeping the time away constantly, and the youngest brother brat thing doesn't always make you endearing!"

Mc: *points hoof at Beel* "Beel. I know you have survivors guilt but Lilith ended up living with humans like she wanted, Belphie doesn't need you standing up for him all the time, and you needn't continue to try to fill the hole inside you by eating in a restaurant that has no more food when you could just go down the street to another food place!"

Mc: *points hoof at Asmo* "Asmo. I know you ~get it on~ mainly to distract yourself from your troubles, to make yourself forget even just for a bit, sometimes but you can't push those feelings down forever, so actually talk with someone, anyone, about whats bothering you rather then trying ignore it! And stop hitting on your brothers, it's kinda weird!"

Mc: *points hoof at Satan* "Satan. I know you have an inferiority complex when it comes to Lucifer, but for the love of Diavolo, you wouldn't be called Satan, avatar of wrath, if you were like Lucifer in the first place. You have blonde hair and like cats, Lucifer has black grey-ish hair and likes dogs. AND THATS JUST THE START OF THE CONTRASTS! You are your own person, get that through your thick skull!"

Mc: *points hoof at Levi* "Levi. I know that it's easy to compare yourself to others and not at least feel somewhat bad about yourself but how do you not realize that you're the best tech wiz we got, an amazing gamer, and the most dedicated being I've ever seen in my life! So if you think that you're not good at something think again!"

Mc: *points hoof at Mammon* "Mammon. How in the whole Devildom is the Avatar of Greed almost always poor?! Also I know you are a material gorl, but items and things can't fully fill the void that you feel, so stop acting all emotionally constipated and just ask for affection if you want it!"

Mc: *points hoof at Lucifer* "And you Lucifer. I know you're the eldest and the prideful one, but there is such a thing as shouldering too much and being stubborn to a fault! Ask for help and for Diavolo to lessen your workload every once in a while! And stop not telling your brothers important things, rather then being all secretive to try to 'protect them' youre just hurting yourself and them cause of it!"

Silence was all that could be heard in the House of Lamentation, the brothers still as statues with varying amount of widened eyes, staring at the small being that they cherished that had just ripped into them so aggressively

After a minute ofa dead silent pause, Mc turned off their phone, hopped off the couch and started walking to the living room exit

Mc: "Honestly, I didn't expect to become a therapist for demons when coming here, and now I can't even read my enemies to lovers book in even somewhat peace.... I don't get paid enough for this."

They then disappeared from the brothers' sight, left to wrap their heads around what just happened

And the arguement that started it all? Who was going to make dinner that night

[apenapaperandadoofus]

When does Jumin Han is ok?

He will be ok after 15 years of therapy and tons of cuddles and kisses from his MC

Petition to have a whole DLC where we get Jumin to sort everything out with the RFA, actually make the whole DLC of everyone going to therapy and MC graduating from studying psychology or smth bc that poor woman was literally the free therapist of the whole damn RFA and all she wanted were chicken strips and a free apartment (get MC some therapy too she's probably traumatized pfft)

[marshmallowprotection]

CMC 4

Name: Bora Han [Birth Name: Kim, adopted by Jumin]

Nickname: Duckie, Duckling!

Meaning of name: Means "purple" in Korean.

Age: 15

Sex: Female

Pronouns: She/Her

Blood type: A+

Nationality: Korean

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual 

Political Party: Liberal

Birthdate: May 5th

Occupation: Student 

Hobbies/Pastimes: Cooking and baking. She’s not the best at it, but it was one of the things that her brother loved to do and she’s taken up on that hobby with Jumin in recent months. She loves to dance whenever she can, too, and she’s gotten back into doing that. 

Physical Characteristics

Height: 4′11ft (149cm)

Weight: 110lbs (49kg)

Posture: Sluggish. She’s often looking at the ground or at her hands so it shows in the way she stands. 

Build: Slender. Petite. She’s not very big and her frame is really small. She eats well since having been adopted but she’s still built really tiny. 

Skin: Dark. She’s got a sprinkling of freckles on her face that you can only see if you get close to her face! 

Hair: Black hair, and it’s naturally wavy at best but she flattens it out just a bit. It’s very long and she tucks back most of the parts into two buns, while the rest of it hangs over her back. She let it grow out when she was on the streets and now she just likes it too much to cut it. She doesn’t often wear her curls naturally but she’s gotten better about it in recent years. 

Ears: Attached lobes. She doesn’t really wear a lot of jewelry. 

Eyes: Lavender eyes. It’s the one feature that she has that she shared with her brother and she’s rather proud of that fact. Her brother 

Mouth: Pouty lips. They’re often set into a line. She tries to keep her face neutral but when she smiles, it’s big and her teeth show. 

Face shape: Circle. She’s still got quite a childish look to her features and people tend to think she’s a bit younger than what she is. 

Expressions: Arms crossed. Pawing at the ends of her hoodie. Hesitancy. Frowns and downturned eyes. A big smile that is rare when she’s happy. 

Tattoos/Scars?: One scar on her ankle where she had a small accident as a child. 

Left/Right handed? Right!

Distinguishing features: Bora would say that people often say her eyes are the feature that they notice first if she’s got her head up. If she doesn’t, they will often say that there’s nothing that stands out about her, and she took that to heart from her parents and she’s still trying to think beyond that trapping. Her smile is what the RFA will tell you is what stands out. 

Who does s/he take after; mother or father?: Neither. She refuses to talk about them and she says that she has nothing in common with them. She’ll tell you that she’s stubborn like Jumin. 

Style (Elegant, shabby, etc): Comfy. Athleisure. 

How does s/he dress or what do they typically wear? Big hoodies. Often two jackets put together, a hoodie, and a sweater over that. Sometimes sweat pants and tennis shoes, or thick boots. That’s her comfort zone. She starts to branch out her style a bit more when she starts living with Jumin, wearing more dresses and getting more comfortable with her sense of style. 

Health: Decent. Ever since having moved in with Jumin, she’s not sick as often and not as tired. But, she’s got a long way to go. She’s got a lazy eye that needs correcting, so she’ll often need to wear a patch with it. She’s got some lasting PTSD from the lack of attention to her health for quite some time, but they’re working on it with doctors and therapists. 

Background: 

Bora was born to a family that didn’t care much about her in the slightest. Her parents loved her brother and didn’t care much for her at all. No matter what she did or said, they didn’t pay her any attention. She felt like she was a shadow to them for a long time and when she started going to school, that was when they started getting harder and harder to deal with. They wanted her to make good grades, prove herself to be just as good as her brother, etc. She had a lot more of a hard time in school, she didn’t learn as fast, she took a lot longer to learn what took her brother a few weeks. 

She was never good enough to them. They never let her forget that fact. She was constantly verbally abused by them. Her only solace was her brother, who loved her and believed in her. He saw the best in her and she saw the best in him. Even though their parents cared about him more, Bora never judged him or blamed him or it. She loved her brother so much. They were inseparable. He was a lot older than Bora, too. 

There was a good six year age gap between the two of them. However, her brother was always looking after her, making sure she ate, and that she was rewarded when she studied hard. Their parents just... weren’t good people to Bora. Not going into extreme detail. 

It grew to the point when her brother couldn’t take it anymore, and he decided enough was enough. He started to compile evidence against their parents so he could leave and “adopt” Bora. 

She deserved to grow up without them hurting her like that. 

Unfortunately, there was an accident and her brother died as a result of it. Bora was so distraught about it, and her parents got a lot worse. They started to really blame her for everything and she decided that she couldn’t take it. She packed up a big bag, taking only what she knew her parents wouldn’t tell the police she  “stole”, and the photograph her brother gave her of the two of them since she couldn’t take any more of his things. 

Armed with only a two big coats and some jeans, she became a runaway for a few months, surviving on the kindness of others. Until she got a message from a stranger one day on a phone she found left abandoned in the park. She decided to help the stranger, and wound up in the apartment with the RFA. They were alarmed she was a kid, and alone. 

It took some coaxing, but Seven came to see her at the apartment to talk things over with her because they couldn’t leave a kid there. She admits that she ran away from home because... it wasn’t okay. He doesn’t ask more about it to her face, but promises he won’t send her back there. Since it’s the holidays, they arrange for her to stay with Jumin since he’s the safest for the time being. They also need to find out who tricked her. 

Jumin discovers real fast that she’s been hurt a lot. He can’t bring himself to send her away to another family after the holidays. She’s just brought a lot of life to his house and to Elizabeth. He spends a lot of time learning how to become a good dad to her, because this tiny girl is plagued by night terrors and just needs someone. He realizes he’s that somehow, even if he has to learn how to be a good dad.

As the story continues, her life with the RFA becomes a Found Family AU. It plays out with each route in the game with some differences after she’s adopted by Jumin, going from Jumin > Jaehee > Zen > Yoosung > Seven. I’ll have to find the bigger post where I wrote out her timeline to add to this post. In the end, all things are fixed, Bora and the RFA are a family, and Vanderwood winds up joining later as her bodyguard. 

Check out the Runaway MC tag for more. 

[obeymestudentcouncil]

I’m Coming Home- GN!Reader

This is a spin off of one of my headcanons I posted here a while back about the idea that MC’s soul is the only part of them that was pulled into the Devildom for the program.  Their body remained in the human realm in a coma-like state, waiting for them to come back.  The program ends and they go back to normal life.  But is that what they want? Obv. TW: coma mention

You said your goodbyes, the bright light of the spell surrounding you; sending you home.  The faces of the demons you’d spent the last year with, your friends, your lover, they all faded from view.  You closed your eyes against the heartache, burning their faces into you memory.  Hoping it wouldn’t be the last time you’d see any of them.

When you opened your eyes, it was to an unfamiliar ceiling, bare neutral walls and soft afternoon light leaking through closed blinds.  Harsh beeping made you turn your head in confusion, finally realizing you were in a hospital.  The door was open, excited sounds outside in the hall.  The voice of your mother, calling for a nurse.  The nurse bustling into the room, silencing the machine.

A coma, they said.  You found collapsed in your apartment floor by your roommate a year ago.  The doctors couldn’t figure out what had happened.  You just…weren’t there.  You knew, but you knew telling them wouldn’t be wise.  So you didn’t.  Kept the secret of what the past year had been like for you locked away in your heart.  Your family was devout;  telling them you’d been in hell with Satan and Lucifer while humorous in your mind wouldn’t have gone well with them.

A few weeks in the hospital, regaining strength.  Physical therapy, close monitoring of everything, to watch for a relapse.  Therapists, clergy, all wanting to know what you’d experienced.  Still you kept your silence, making up wavering, uncertain dream states.  

Your parents insisted that you stay with them, all your belongings had been brought home when you went into the hospital, your roommate had someone else to help them with the rent now.  That’s when it started hitting you.  By now you’d expected to see someone.  You would almost be convinced that it was just a dream.  Except that when you finally had time in private, back in your childhood bedroom, you stood in front of your mirror and saw the proof.  Your pact marks, though faint, were there.  All seven, marking your skin in the places they had been since each brother had given them to you.  You tried making sure the skin was visible during the day, your family knew you had no tattoos, they certainly didn’t approve of them.  No reaction meant that you knew you were the only one who could see them.  Late one night, you tried, using anything you could remember about how to use them.  Called out to each of them in turn, but you were met with silence.  

Life returned to “normal”;  you found a new job, determined to get out of your parent’s stifling, overprotective reach as soon as you could.  Most of your friends had moved on, several married now, even a few with little ones on the way.  You made new friends and the loneliness eased.

As the months went on, you were finally content enough with your life.  Your missed them all still, missed the sense of belonging you’d found there.  You signed up for a family lineage site, poring over entries late into the night, curious if you could find her.  As much for your peace of mind as anything.  It was a fun hobby, but proved fruitless.

It was worst when you’d feel like one of them was there.  A glimpse of sandy blonde hair in a clothing store, the hint of Asmo’s tittering laughter.  You’d look again and nothing.  Browsing the stacks of the library and see a blue jacket worn ridiculously on one arm.  Turn the corner after them and it was just a little old lady, not even wearing blue.  Your heart almost stopped when you passed a game store in the mall, a loud drawn out scream over some figure making you double take.  You knew before turning around, there wasn’t anyone there.  Days like that were the ones to leave you full of heartache.  

After a rough day at work, the walk through park on your way home usually helped you unwind.  This time, it was the twins.  You’d swear that was Beel’s mop or red hair, Belphie’s dark head against his shoulder as he dozed.  It was out of the corner of your eye, and it looked like Beel waved at you but by the time you turned, the bench was empty.  You dragged yourself home, begged off dinner and dropped face first into your bed.  The glimpses were getting more frequent, every few days you had another burst of hope only for it to shatter a heartbeat later.

You grabbed your pillow to bury your face in, hide the sobs you felt in your throat.  Underneath it your hand hit something that you were sure hadn’t been there that morning.  Wide-eyed you pulled your D.D.D. out from under the pillow.  You glanced at the door, hopping up and clicking the lock before sitting on the bed.  Hands shaking, you unlocked the device.  You immediately saw the notifications for several messages.  You read each in turn, tears coming to your eyes as several of them were from the days you knew you’d seen or heard them.  They’d all been watching you, but not allowed to let you know.  It wasn’t much, but it made your heart soar to know you hadn’t imagined it.

The last messages were different.  One was from him.  The one that leaving hurt the most.  Promising that as soon as possible, he would stop the hiding, stop the games.  The final message, just sent that afternoon, was from the Prince.  Detailing why the silence, why the lack of communication for the past months.  He wanted to give you time to readjust to your life in your world.  They’d all petitioned him for you to stay, even he didn’t want to see you go.  But they all saw reported back to him, what they’d seen, what they’d heard.  Even when you hadn’t noticed them.

Your eyes filled with tears.  The last sentences were an offer to come home, come back to them, permanently.  But, if you did, you likely wouldn’t be able to return to the human world.  That was the reason for the adjustment period.  But they knew you weren’t happy.  Not the way you’d been before.  They’d seen it.  You had a choice to make.  One message back, and a portal would be ready for you to return.  

You sat and stared at your device, mind reeling.  The thought of leaving your family behind, for good, it didn’t sit well with you.  But then again, you had another family too; and the hole in your heart that leaving them a world away had left was slowly eating you alive.  Fingers steady, you made your answer, sent it, and waited.  The response didn’t take long, two simple words.

Very Well.

[a-tired-cryptid-talks-shit]

Sanders sides mimecraft/YouTuber au

Some basic info is missing but they all have roughly the same age/subscribers and stuff

Patton:

Collects EVERY animal and names them all . 'Teams up' with people a lot. Mainly makes funny and casual irl games and vlogs.  He can only really play mc well and never uses cheats  ("not the honest or hardworking thing to do!")  Always has a MASSIVE Base (mainly houses for his animals and farms so he can feed them all)  either dies every five minutes or never dies there's no in-between  (the more upset he is the more he dies normally)  has a new hair colour every month (definitely virgil's doing)  has a subscriber farm/ garden  and puts atleast 2 people in it each episode

Swears like sailor   when playing so he has really edited and almost never livestreams  when playing minecraft he does do lots of qna/ irl games on livestreams and sometimes convinces one of the others to join. Has a "not PG" playlist of collabs where he has a few swears and dirty jokes (normally from the others). Travels a lot and always has a bag of sweets (vegan and everything free so anyone can eat them)  incase he meets any fans when out.  Has and will spend hours collecting things for his friends if he hears them complain about how they can't find any insert item here or need a certain amount of it but can't get it.  He has a "drop off hut" at their spawn where everyone but him has a chest and he'll leave whatever they need  for them to pick up and occasionally he'll leave sweet notes in them too if he knows they're having a bad day.  Doesn't make serious videos often but will always speak out on other social media about current events (blm, lgbt shiz etc) and give his support and thoughts on it there are some issues he doesn't talk about for personal reasons tho.

Basic info... 22..... vvv gay.......  totally not crushing on remus..... trans dude.....  about 3/4 mil followers.

Logan:

Has a good sized Base and is focused on efficency and survival. Almost always streaming or filming. Has 2 pets à series (max.)  And the rest if the farm animals are definitely not pets (most have names and he refuses to kill them). Is practically a god by episode 5 so most of  the time he does stupid challenges and makes shops and trades/ helps  the others.  He only ever blogs for events (vidcon/comicon)  most of the time his camera is stolen by either remus, patton or Roman and they'll make sure to get all the funny and embarrassing moments on film.  Logan always réalisés two videos for each event eg :  video one: "Vidcon 2020 day 2"   video two: " Vidcon 2020 day 2 patton's  cut" (where all the shenanigans and  weird shit is posted).

He's always a sarcastic mum (so normal )  and loves to watch the playful banter and whenever any of the viewers see it he'll be spammed with edits and art for the next month or two. Of course he goes through everything he's tagged in and makes sure to like and comment. Because it's logan everyone still simps for  him and he posts photos a lot  and lots of group photos from when they all meet up and shiz  and most of the comments are people drooling over him.

Has a playlist of info videos where he talks about social justice stuff and is super supportive and informative about it and almost always gets someone he knows and is affected by it to talk to and make sure he's doing it the right way and he has all kinds of channels linked that talk about it all in more depth and always links petitions and places to learn and donate.

Basic info:  24... gay ..... abt 3/4 million subscribers... in a relationship with virgil  but only the group know about it.

Roman:

Roman asks his subscribers every series for a theme (pirates, Princes,  mediaval, fairies etc) each series which he has to stick to

Always over the top and dramatic

Livestrwams once a week (mainly mining) and he has a few hours where he'll do song requests and they call it radio time and occasionally he'll get his bf or whoever's home to do lives with him and they'll do qnas and shiz abd sometimes do mini versions of tags abd shiz

Merch galore he has merch for every series (they're vvv long) tries to get fans to design them and uses underground artists

So many collabs

Lots of people think he has tattoos he sometimes tries to cover when really it's doodles that were done in sharpie and still haven't come off.

Shipped with EVERYONE and often has to make posts saying "I love y'alls creativity but all my friends are in relationships and please do not ship us because it makes it very uncomfortable and awkward."

Makes  so many vlogs and is always doing something new and interesting.

Has the most extra and intricate bases and all kinds of weird pets and he changes his skin for each series.

Remus:

No one remembers adding him to the servers or anything but he's just there.

Normally shares a base with patton or is super close to it and basically has a house with a lava moat and a basement abd that's it. So many swears and dirty jokes.  Lots of random short vlogs that he has in a playlist that's called 'why I love these dumbasses'. Constantly flirts with patton and when they start dating publicly they do all kinds of tags and have a mc world together where everyone thinks they'll be sweet and wholesome but most of it is them killing eachother for the fun of it which everyone is mad for.

Remus always challenges patton to find a super rare pet (jokes on you remus patton has every pet in the game by episode 5)  for filler videos where they don't know what to do. Remus does lots of trolling and making traps/ death houses videos and mainly plays on servers or plays other games (mainly horror). Always ends up pissing someone on the server off and starting a war (they all know it's all in good fun) and spends wayyyyy too long working on different pranks for different people (He once made logan's house neon pink by hand)

Janus is pretty normal and will play with mods so he can get reptiles as pets. Is barely ever on servers and will barely play on them if he's part of one. He does lots of one off challenges / games with the others. Doesn't post anything but gaming vids and only ever does voice-over and no cam for a long time and is shipped  with everyone  he had every social media but only posts about upcoming videos and events. Lowest subs of the group as he doesn't do it for the income (unlike most of the others)  and just does it because the others convinced him. He keeps his home life secret until he accidentally turned up in the background of one of Remy's videos and everyone went mad with theories and he came out and explained it all so after tgat he occasionally posts vlogs for big events but that's it. He lives with emile and remy in a 2 bed apartment (they were previously roomates) and has his own room which is really an office with a spare bed in it.

Virgil :

Mainly does series on his own or speed running /parkour.  He's weirdly good at building so he has a series where he builds houses for his friends. He does a mixture of  art and gaming videos when he does collab with the others it's always one off games against eachother (bedwars parkour etc)  he almost always wins (his only real competiton is logan) and stays silent most the time   and only really throws around insults.

Remy (+emile)

Lifestyle  and challenge blogs doesn't game but he has tried a few times on janus' channel (so has emile)  he has a playlist  of mental health videos made by emile (He's still a therapist but he wanted a way to help people further so he does these with remy)  and occasionally does makeup / fashion videos and is a super super popular channel so his bfs  (janus and emile) don't really need to work but they like to contribute.

[darley1101]

The Reunion

What does it take to unleash the writing beast? Tyler betraying us. He's dead to me, I tell you. Dead! And my darling Abbie shall have a cupcake a day from the MC. This probably isn't all that great. It was written in the heat of anger and I didn't do much editing. There is some cursing as well as mention of harassment, drug addiction, and suicide attempt. I am not endorsing or making light of any of those scenarios. As a former counselor, I seen my share of them all. I just wanted to explore this idea and once it was explored, I decided to post it. If its not your cup of tea, no hard feelings. I'm not sure what to put as far as ratings go. I guess Teen with trigger warnings?

Warning: triggers for harassment, depression, addiction, and suicide attempt.

Word Count:4405

perma-tag list: @debramcg1106  @josieschoices @boneandfur @speedyoperarascalparty @flynnomalleys @tmarie82 @blackcatkita @mfackenthal @hamulau @endlessly-searching-for-you @umccall71   @penguininapinktuxedo @drakelover78 @damienazariostan @clarissafics @indiacater

(If you would like to be added to the permatag let me know. Not sure how often I will be posting as I am trying to make this less stressful and more fun)

Tagging a few others I think might find this interesting: @starstruckpixelberryhistoryvoid @maxattack-powell @shirtlessbenpark 

The Reunion 

Not much had changed at Hartfeld University. There was still this charming New England air about it, with it's ivy covered brick buildings and historical landmark trees. It had been ten years since Tyler had stepped foot on the campus, and it sort of seemed unfair that while time had forced change upon him, Hartfeld had been spared. His brow wrinkled as his weary brown eyes scanned the familiar landscape. There was the founder's statue, standing watch over students lounging on the lush lawn of the quad, much the way it had when he was a student. And there was the old oak tree where his ex-girlfriend Abbie had liked to meet for a picnic lunch. A lump formed in his throat at the memory of Abbie. She'd been his first love, and his first heartbreak. 

 The apartment as empty. Every trace of Abbie was gone. Panic swelled in Tyler's chest as he looked at the empty spots on the wall where her paintings had hung. His gaze swung to the dining room, where the table and chairs she'd hand painted were gone. He knew if he went upstairs her side of the closet would empty and her dresser would be gone. “Abbie,” he called, knowing that she wouldn't answer; but praying that she would prove him wrong. Part of him hadn't believed her when she said she couldn't stay in a relationship with someone who had so little regard for not just her but their friends..their real friends. He'd thrown her self afflicted exile to Kaitlin's attic room in her face. She'd claimed it wasn't the same, that despite letting her stay there Kaitlin, Chris, Emily, Becca, and Zack hadn't taken any sides. If anything, they'd encouraged her to talk to him. Could he say the same for his so called Alpha friends? Instead of acknowledging that she had a point, he'd told her not to let the door hit her on the way out. He hadn't meant it. He'd been on an anger high, fed by Kassidy, Beau, and Nathan. She'd taken it to heart, calling their friends...her friends...to come help her move out. Sinking on the bottom step of the stairs that led to the loft bedroom, Tyler buried his face in his hands. He'd never felt so alone. Against his better judgment, he tried to call her. His number was blocked.

Scrubbing a hand down his face, Tyler shook his head, clearing the unwanted blast from the past. He'd worked hard to put his Hartfeld days behind him, specifically his junior year. From the accident, to the turmoil with his relationship with Abbie, to getting conned by Alpha Theta Mu, to finally having a break down so severe his parents had made him come home to California. By the time he was better, it made no sense for him to return. His former friends had blocked him on all forms of social media, as well as email and cell phone. Once, he had sneaked on to his mom's Pictogram account and looked everyone up. It had been a mistake. 

 Chris had a ridiculous number of followers, which didn't surprise Tyler. NFL quarterbacks that were single and hot often attracted large followings. There was nothing personal on the account. Just random work out images or promotional blasts for products who had hired him for endorsement purposes. James had a new book coming out, another angst driven love story. Among the posts with little snippets of dialogue and cover art, there were family pictures. James with Reyna. Reyna with a swollen belly on the beach. A tiny little girl with her father's coloring and mother's large, almond shaped eyes. Zig had married Becca, which was a bit shocking but they seemed happy enough. Their shared account had a ton of pictures of a fluffy white cat and various shots of the same view of the New York skyline. Kaitlin's account was mostly what she called adventures with Anissa. It seemed the pair traveled quite a bit and enjoyed photographing themselves at various famous landmarks. Some of the pictures included friends. Friends such as Emily, Zig, Becca, and, his heart skipped a beat, Abbie. Heart still pounding, he clicked on Abbie's tag. And instantly regretted it. The first image he seen was of her with her arm around Sebastian on what looked like a cruise through Alaska or Iceland. Iceland, the check in confirmed. It wasn't surprising that she had gone, seeing the Northern Lights had been on her bucket list, but with Sebastian? 

A disgruntled sigh whooshed past Tyler's lips. Coming to this reunion had been a mistake. The therapist he still visited once a month had thought it would be great for closure. A way to face the past and maybe rid himself of some of the guilt he seemed to be harboring. Guilt for letting go of Abbie. Guilt for betraying people who had been there for him since day one. Guilt for knowing the Alphas were in the wrong, but still wanting to please them. Would any of his former friends be there? Would any of the Alphas? Tyler felt his steps faltering as he drew closer to the Student Union, where the reunion was being held. He couldn't do this. He couldn't open up those old wounds again. Taking a deep breath, he turned to leave, only to stop in his tracks as an all too familiar face person stood there, staring at him with cold gray eyes. “Emily.” 

“Emily!” 

Heart pounding, Tyler picked up his pace, trying to catch up with the petite blonde who seemed to be ignoring any attempts he made to capture her attention. “Emily,” he called again, panting slightly. He needed to talk to her, to see if she had heard from Abbie. It had been a week since the break up and that empty apartment was killing him. To make matters worse, his Alpha friends seemed to be distancing themselves. 

“What do you want?” Cold gray eyes froze him in place as Emily turned on him. Her face was a mask of fury and hurt. “Shouldn't you be with your friends?” 

Anger clenched his heart. Who did she think she was, putting the Alphas down when she was the one who was always sticking her nose in other peoples business? And then there was that vicious prank she had pulled on Claire. Yeah, Claire was a spoiled little brat but she hadn't deserved glue in her shampoo. “I wanted to know if you heard from Abbie,” he managed to ask. 

Emily burst out laughing, shaking her head. “You're not serious?” She stared him, studying his face. “Jesus, you're serious. You really think I'm going to tell you anything about Abbie?” Tucking a lock of her jaw length blonde hair behind her ear, Emily sneered at him. “I would rather crawl back into that son of a bitch Nathan Sterling's bed than tell you a damn thing about my friend Abbie.” 

The rest of their group had given similar responses. Only Sebastian had been willing to tell him that Abbie was coping with his betrayal the best she could and if Tyler had any feelings left for her, he would let her be. Tyler had tried to explain that he loved her, that he had just been angry but Sebastian had shut him down. If Abbie wanted to talk to him, she would reach out. She never did. None of them did. It was as though the friendships they had built during their freshmen year hadn't existed. His therapist had asked him if he understood why they had shut him out. For years Tyler had told himself it was because he had made new friends. That had not been the truth. The truth was he didn't know how to be a friend. He got caught up in pleasing the wrong people, in letting himself get caught up in mean or malicious scenarios that targeted people he was supposed to defend. “You look good,” he cleared his throat, and offered a small smile to Emily. She didn't smile back. 

  “Why are you here Tyler,” Emily finally asked, her arms crossing over her chest as she trained those cold gray eyes on him. “I thought you graduated some university in California.” 

Rubbing the back of his neck, Tyler scrambled for an explanation that didn't involve telling her that his therapist thought it would be good for him. Letting out a sigh, he dropped his arm. “I needed to come,” he said simply, trying to ignore the snort that came from the woman standing in front of him. “Closure.” 

 “Closure,” she echoed, rolling her eyes. 

 Closing his eyes, Tyler took several calming breathes. He half way expected Emily to be gone when he opened his eyes, but she wasn't. She was still standing there, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. “Yes, closure.” 

  “I think the word you're really looking for is absolution from all that guilt you seem to still be carrying around.” 

Bile filled Tyler's mouth as he sat in an interrogation room, his body shaking and his vision blurring as he tried not to cry. On some level he had known what Beau, Kassidy, and Nathan were doing was wrong; that his involvement was wrong. It had just felt so good to be a part of a group that everyone looked up to. He'd had a justification for everything. It was good publicity for James' book. It was karma for how mean Becca had been. It wasn't right for Kaitlin to list Amara before Kassidy when Kassidy was the one who was physically there recording. It wasn't fair for someone like Zig to make honor roll when he had probably cheated. He hadn't known about the arson, that Beau had set the old Alpha Theta Mu clubhouse on fire, with Emily inside, or that Beau and Kassidy had set it up so Emily would take the fall. What else hadn't he known about? Or purposely ignored? 

“You're free to go,” a detective told him. 

Swallowing the vomit that had started to come up, Tyler rose from the metal chair he'd been sitting on for the last five hours. “Am I being charged with anything,” he asked in a small voice. His parents were going to kill him. They weren't happy with him to begin with over the break up with Abbie. He hadn't been able to give them a good enough explanation for why and he couldn't tell them the truth. 

“No.” The detective motioned towards the door, annoyance on his face. “The author refuses to press charges and somehow managed to talk his publisher out of pressing them, so you're free to go.” 

“And...” he hesitated, “my friends?” Suddenly it felt wrong to call the Alphas his friends, yet what else could he call them? People who made him into an awful jerk he no longer recognized? Friends had a nicer ring to it. 

 The detective motioned towards the door again. “As I said, you're free to go.” 

“Right.” Tyler slowly trudged out of the small cubby of a room, his heart pounding as he caught sight of Becca, Zig, Kaitlin, Emily, and Abbie talking to another detective. Maybe they would talk to him, listen to his side of things.  Abbie must have sensed him. Slowly, she turned to look in his direction. Her face paled and she said something to the detective. The detective looked at him, jaw clenched tight. Tyler stood there,  unable to move, locked in a stare down with an officer three times his size. Something was said to another officer, who approached him and handed him a piece of paper. It was a restraining order. 

“I don't expect anyone to forgive me,” Tyler muttered. Some things were unforgivable. The way he had treated Emily, Abbie, and the rest of their group fell into the unforgivable category. He still felt physically ill thinking about how they had tried to tell him that Beau and Kassidy were no good, but he'd refused to listen. He had convinced himself that he knew the Alphas better, that if they had done any of those things it had been with good reason. By the time his eyes were open it was too late. The damage was done. His real friends hated him, hated him to the point they filed a restraining order against him. They'd taken the restraining order a littler too seriously though. 

  He had advanced trigonometry with Zack. They sat near one another. Zack was a fair guy. If he could just explain his side to Zack, maybe Zack could explain it to the others and this ridiculous business with the restraining order could be put to rest. The professor met him at the door. “I'm sorry Tyler, but didn't you get my email?” 

Tyler shook his head. With everything that had gone on he'd neglected checking his emails. “Was class canceled?” It was a stupid question. Behind the professor the class was very much in session. People were staring and whispering. At him. About him. He felt a sense of dread. 

“For the remainder of the semester you will be completely your work from home. If you have questions about an assignment or need additional help we can schedule a meeting.” The tone was crisp and cool. 

“What? Why?” This was ridiculous. So now he couldn't attend regular class? What the hell! He hadn't done anything other than post bits and pieces of James' book. And besides, other than the arson stunt, none of the pranks against his former friends had been dangerous. Plus, he hadn't assisted in those. 

“I think you know why,” the professor said sternly. “Now, if you will excuse me...” The door shut in his face, leaving him to stand there with an angry, confused look on his face. 

“If you didn't come to ask for forgiveness, then why come at all?” Emily demanded, glancing down when the shiny black clutch she was carrying started vibrating. Turning slightly to the side, she dug out a phone. “Hey,” she greeted in an old, familiar way. “I'm here already actually. I haven't gone in yet, so I'm not sure if anyone else has made it.” She glanced in Tyler's direction before turning away even more. “Just a heads up,” she said in a voice so low he almost didn't hear, “Tyler's here.” She shifted from one foot to the other. “Yeah, I know, that's what I said. Something to do with-”

 “You know, I can hear you,” he muttered. Shoving his hands in his khaki pockets, he rocked back and forth on his heels. Why was he still standing there? Emily wasn't going to forgive him. Even after ten years she was holding onto her grudge. He could almost hear his therapist telling him not to worry about her journey, but to focus on his. And his journey was to face his past at Hartfeld so that he might have closure on that chapter of his life. He supposed he was off to a good start. Emily was part of that past and he hadn't crumbled yet. 

  Getting his doctor to prescribe more pain killers had been easy. Poor, poor Tyler, still in pain from that awful wreck he was in last summer. It wasn't a lie. He was in pain. The pain had nothing to do with the wreck though. This pain stemmed from the cluster fuck of betrayal that had become his life. It still felt like a bad dream. A nightmare where Abbie hated him, where their mutual friends acted as though he didn't exist. The Alphas were no better. Beau wasn't returning his calls or texts and Kassidy acted confused on why he kept contacting her. Nathan seemed sympathetic but lost in his own guilt over hurting Emily.  Twisting off the cap with fingers that trembled, Tyler shook out several white pills and then popped them in his mouth. He washed them down with some water and then flopped back on his couch, staring up at the ceiling. It didn't take long for the numbness to kick in. He loved the numbness, that floating feeling that took him away from it all. Maybe next time he would take more, float away from this hellish life. 

“...not sure that's a great idea.” Emily glanced at him, her brow wrinkled as she continued to speak lowly in her phone. “If that's what you want, I'll support you but...are you sure?” She reached up and pinched the bridge of her nose. “No, you're right. It's something we need to do. I'll see you soon.” Ending the call, she slipped her phone back in her clutch and turned to stare at Tyler. “That was Abbie,” she announced in a clipped tone. “For some reason she would like to see you. Personally, I don't think its a good idea but...” she shrugged. “Not my decision.” 

  The last person Tyler wanted to see was Abbie. There was still a lot of hurt, guilt, and confusion milling about his head where she was concerned. From the steely look on Tyler's face, he knew Emily wasn't going to make walking away easy, so he stayed. He stood there, nervously rocking back and forth, waiting for Abbie to make her appearance, mulling over the last time he'd seen her. 

He hated the way his parents looked at him, as though they were searching for some sign that he was popping pills again. Having his stomach pumped and spending six months in rehab had kicked the habit. Did he still crave the numbness, the floating away from reality? All the fucking time. He couldn't live that way. It wasn't really living. Living was finishing his last year of college, which he had done in half the time by taking online classes in rehab. Living was agreeing to go to Comic Con with his new co-worker Jessica. It wasn't a date, he was pretty sure Jessica had only asked him out of pity, but it was a step in the right direction as far as getting out there went. 

“I love it,” Jessica cried, her brown eyes shining as she took in his Crown and Flame t shirt. It was old and comfortable, a throw back to his Freshmen year of college when life had been grand. “So...what do you think?” She held out the front of her shirt, which featured her favorite comic heroine Venus. 

“It looks great,” Tyler told her as they headed into the crowded convention center. He took a deep breathe, smiling a little as Jessica collected their wrist bands. His smile faltered as heard an all too familiar laugh over the din of people chatting. Against his will, his eyes starting scanning the crowd, looking for her. She was about two yards away, sitting at one of the booths. She wore one of the VIP badges that were only issued to special guests. Next to her was a guy Tyler was familiar with. Ben Park,comic artist extraordinaire. 

“Oh my God!” Jessica grabbed his arm, squealing. “Ben Park and Abbie Bishop are here! I have to get their autographs! Come on!” 

She started to pull him towards the booth, but he froze. There was no way he could go over there. Nothing good would come from it. Abbie would freak out, possibly cause a scene. “I need to go to the bathroom,” he said lamely, gently pulling his arm from Jessica's grip. 

“Oh. Sure. Do you want me to wait?” 

He shook his head. “No you go ahead. I'll meet you by the Venus booth.” 

Jessica squealed, pressed a surprising and quick kiss to his cheek, and took off to get in line. Tyler stood there, wondering if maybe he should go. It had been three years since their break up. Enough time for healing and forgiveness. He'd made up his mind to get in line when Jessica when it happened. Abbie touched Ben's arm in an all too familiar way and Ben brushed a curl off her cheek. They weren't just co-workers. Abbie had fully moved on and there was no place for Tyler in her life. He wanted to run, to send Jessica a text telling her that he suddenly didn't feel well but he couldn't do that. She'd paid a lot of money for their passes and gone out of her way to invite him. Taking a deep breathe, Tyler forced himself to go through the motions of using the bathroom and then finding an easy to spot location near the Venus booth. Maybe it was time for him to try to move on as well. 

Remembering the day he seen Abbie getting cozy with Ben Park made him think about Jessica. He hated thinking about Jessica. Thinking about her was another reminder of how much he had screwed up life by clinging to the past. She'd been a sweet girl with big dreams that ultimately landed her in trouble. Tyler had missed all the signs, letting news of Abbie's engagement to Ben throw him into another funk. Alcohol had been his drug of choice that time. He still struggled with it. Whenever the pressure got to be too much, he found himself looking up the nearest bar. Not that he ever went. He wasn't going to fall down that rabbit hole again. A step towards accepting his past, he guessed. 

 “Emily,” he said quietly, “I don't know that I want to see Abbie.” Withdrawing one hand from a pocket, he shoved his hair off his forehead, threading his fingers through the dark locks. Perhaps he should tell Emily the truth about why he had accepted the strange, reunion invitation. What was the worse that could happen? She tell him what he already knew; that he had fucked up his life and deserved all the misery he felt? “I need to tell you something...” It poured out. The pills. The alcohol. Two rounds of rehab. Regular visits with a therapist. 

 “Jesus, Tyler,” Emily stared at him, her lips parted. The coldness in her gray eyes was replaced with something worse, pity. “When you decide to screw up you don't do it half way, do you?” 

  It was nothing he hadn't heard before from his mother. If he had to screw up, did he have to do it on such a grand scale? His mom had meant well. She loved him, wanted him happy, whole, and embracing life. “I guess so,” he mumbled. 

  Emily let out a sigh and looked at him with an odd expression on her face. “I don't understand, Tyler. I never have. Abbie loved you. The rest of us respected you and trusted you. We were there for you. We always had your back. Yet, you threw it all away for a bunch of spoiled rich kids with nothing better to do than ruin other peoples lives. Your friends lives.” She shook her head. “You didn't even want to listen to anything Abbie or I had to say. It was like the three years we had known you meant nothing. Like Abbie meant nothing. I want to know why.” 

  “I don't.” 

 Heart pounding, Tyler shifted his gaze from Emily to the woman who had appeared at her side. Abbie. The last ten years had been good to her. She'd always been adorable, with large eyes and a ready smile, but now, at the age of thirty, she was beautiful. She still wore her hair natural and kept her make up to a minimum but there was an inner glow, a sense of peace, about her that really drilled home what Tyler had thrown away. Life had gone on for her, she had left their relationship knowing she'd given it her all, while he had spent the last ten years destroying his life over mistakes he'd made. “Abbie-” he started. She held up a hand. Her left hand. A simple gold and diamond band shone in the light, reminding him that she was married to a man who deserved her. She had that well loved look about her, and it killed him that he wasn't the cause. 

  “I have some things I need to say,” Abbie said softly. “I want you to know, I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago. Not for your sake, but for my own. Emily says you're here looking for closure. You're not going to find it until you've forgiven yourself.” She let out a breathe and turned to look at Emily. “Alright. That's all I had to say. Shall we?” She nodded towards the doors that led to the ballroom. Emily nodded, a bright smile on her face as she hooked arms with Abbie. 

  Tyler stood there, watching them walk away. A familiar hollow feeling overwhelmed him. It wasn't so simple. Any time he tried to forgive himself, he found himself asking why. Why he had done it all in the first place. There was never an answer. Even now, standing on the very campus where his spiral of self destruction started, he couldn't answer that.