#Peso says wash your fucking hands

[guess-i-do-art]

Octonauts fanart because the nostalgia hit me like a truck

Edit: I swear if anyone says that I “ruined a children’s show” by headcanoning Peso as aroace I will drop kick them to Queendom come

WHY DO PEOPLE LIKE THIS SO MUCH

[alejaosbastardos]

On the Road

Summary: Ten years after the massacre at the border, Daniel’s life had changed a lot, the death of his father and brother, his escape to Puerto Lobos to start a new life, dragging a past that he could never leave behind. When Daniel decided that he would never see a familiar face again, the past and the present cross in his road.

Chapter 6: Friendship II

Chris looked curiously around, there were many people walking on the streets in the morning. In the place where Daniel had parked his pickup there was a stall with a vendor in each corner.

"Hey, don't get lost, stay close to me." Daniel said when he saw the blond man approaching the stall of crafts to see what they were selling.

"Dude, I'm not five years old, let me see those small pyramids."

Daniel laughed.

"If you want any cliché souvenir from Mexico you should buy a Mexican hat."

Chris ignored him and took a small sculpture that had a Mayan calendar.

"How much does this cost?" Chris asked the woman who was selling it.

"500 pesos, young man." Said the woman. "Take advantage, it's very cheap!"

Daniel took Chris by the arm and approached him.

"Dan! Let me buy something!"

"Dude, that woman wants to cheat you."

"It’s cute."

"500 pesos for a poorly painted small souvenir?"

"Well, but it has a Mayan calendar."

"Dude, she knows you're a foreigner and wants to take advantage of you." Daniel said shaking his head. "If you want something like that I'll take you to a better place later."

"You know what? I want to buy souvenirs just to contradict you." Chris said amused.

"Well, if you want to spend 500 pesos on that ugly souvenir, I'm not going to stop you." Daniel said raising an eyebrow.

Chris laughed.

"Geez, it doesn't matter, let's buy the things we need." Chris said as he pushed Daniel to keep walking.

"Daniel!"

Both boys turned their heads.

A dark skinned boy with green eyes and black hair taken in a ponytail quickly approached the boys as he raised his hand in greeting to Daniel. The boy has several tattoos on his arms and has a nose piercing.

"Man I didn't know you were going to be here today." Said the man surprised while clashing his hands with Daniel's.

"Hey, Alex." Daniel greeted. "It's weird to see you here in the morning."

"Dude, you say it as if I could never wake up early." He said laughing and his eyes stopped on Chris.

Chris felt uncomfortable with his presence, Alex looked at him from head to toe and a smile formed on his lips.

"Hey.. Who is your friend?" He said looking curiously at Chris.

"Alex, don't bother him." Daniel said and sighed. "Chris, he's Alex, my coworker."

"Nice to meet you Chris." Alex said shaking his hand as he winked at him.

"Umm, hello." Chris said returning the handshake and quickly withdrew his hand when he felt the man squeeze it.

"Ignore him, he just likes to bother you." Daniel said while nudging Alex. "Well man, Chris and I are leaving, see you tomorrow."

"Wait, I want to tell you something." Alex said to Daniel. “It’s very important.”

"Hey, anything about work is spoken on the cell phone." Daniel interrupted him as he directed his gaze at Chris.

"It's something I just found out.. Chris, do you mind giving me and Daniel a few minutes?" Alex asked to Chris. "I promise to return him in a few minutes."

"Um .. Sure." Chris said not very sure looking at Alex and then Daniel before walking to a store of crafts.

When Chris walked away from the boys Alex jumped towards Daniel.

"Dude, where did you get him?" Alex asked excitedly. "Your friend is very cute, can I do him?"

"Did you really hold me back for that?" Daniel asked amusedly as he crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. "I doubt he's gay so leave him alone."

"Mmm, do you really think that? I had my gaydar on"

Daniel rolled his eyes.

"Anyway, I'm leaving, see you tomorrow." Daniel said walking away.

"Daniel! Hold on a minute! Besides your friend being hot, I received a call from Alejandro." He said.

"What did he want?"

"Man." Alex said as he lowered his voice. "The military stopped the boat that was going through Panama."

"Holy shit."

"I told him that he had to send us the packages again or return the money to us."

"Well, what did he say?"

"He is going to return the money to us since he wants the issue of the police investigation to calm down a bit."

"What a shit."

"I already talked to another supplier we have."

"And it will be more expensive."

"Yeah, the supplier is in Mexico, so we avoid another drama like the one that just happened until things calm down."

Daniel clicked his tongue.

"Whatever, when do they arrive with the packages?"

"Tomorrow morning at 3:00a.m." Alex explained. "He told me that we had to wait for them at the entrance of Puertos Lobos."

"Have you transferred the money?"

"No, not yet, I wanted to ask you first what do you think about the new supplier."

"Do it, see you tomorrow."

"Whatever my boss wishes." Alex said winking.

"Tell Andrés to join us too."

"Damn it." Alex cursed. "Why does that guy have to work with us? he ruins all the fun."

"Because he has my total trust and is a good bodyguard unlike you."

"Come on dude, do you still hold a grudge? I swear they had the gun very well saved and I didn't saw when they aimed at you."

Daniel rolled his eyes.

"See you tomorrow."

"Hey, call my sister, she keeps asking me about you! She says she called you several times yesterday and you didn't answer any calls."

Daniel ignored him and went on his way.

"What a jerk is this guy." Alex sighed.

____________________

"I will buy it for 250 pesos." Chris pointed out a small pyramid of various colors.

"I sell it at 400 pesos." Said the woman.

"300 pesos?" Chris asked hopefully.

"350 pesos, and it’s my last offer."

"Deal." Chris said as he looked for the money in his pockets, but before giving it to the woman who was happy, Daniel took him by the arm and pulled him to where he was.

"Chris, stop giving them money."

"I thought we had agreed that you weren't going to get in." Chris reproached him as he released his arm from Daniel's grip.

"I don't want those motherfuckers to make easy money by taking advantage of you."

"it's okay, you win, jesus." Chris said resignedly. "Did you finish talking to your weird friend?"

"Yeah." Daniel laughed. "Weird?"

"Yes man, he made fun of me without knowing me."

"Chris, he didn't make fun of you, why do you think that?"

"Dan, didn't you see what he did when you introduced us?"

"Yes? Flirt with you? He does that with whom he thinks is cute."

"Oh."

"Yes, don't worry, I told him you don't go that way." Daniel said laughing as he patted Chris on the back.

".... Alright." Chris said without saying much.

"Well, let's buy the things we need, it’s getting late." Daniel said while looking at the time on his phone.

Chris nodded and followed him.

____________________

After Daniel and Chris bought the things they needed, they decided to first leave the flowers in Sean's grave before arriving at Daniel's house.

"Dan is very late, it's 2:00 p.m." Chris said as he entered the house with some bags in his hands and looked at the old clock Daniel had in the kitchen.

"It's never too late to eat, can I help you with something?" Daniel said leaving the bags on the table.

"You can help me chop the tomatoes and the onion, I have to put the pasta in the pot and prepare the pan." He said leaving the bags on the table to look for things he needed.

"Okay."

Daniel took the first knife he saw and began to chop the tomato.

"Dude... did you wash the tomatoes?" Chris asked when he saw his friend chop them on the table.

"... No?" Daniel replied not very sure of his answer.

Chris laughed.

"Jesus, you're gross Dan." He said laughing. "You have to wash them and then you have to chop it into small pieces, those pieces that you are chopping are very large."

Daniel looked at the pieces he had that were the size of a finger.

"What's wrong with that size?"

"Later the sauce won't cook well." Chris explained as he took the knife and chopped a tomato. "See? This should be the size."

"Well, we have a chef over here." Daniel said with a mocking tone.

"This is super basic cooking." Chris explained. "Seriously, how do you feed when you don't buy street food?"

Daniel shrugged.

"Normally I buy TV dinners, I just have to heat it in the microwave, like ramen or pizza."

"Dude, that is disgusting."

"The pizza you ate yesterday was one of those frozen pizzas sold in the supermarket and I didn't see you complaining about the taste."

"You know what people say, if they are giving you free pizza you have no right to complain." Chris said smiling. "But starting today this kitchen is mine until I leave, and therefore we will eat what I cook, none of those disgusting frozen things."

"Shit, I didn't know that my friend's visit included a housewife." Daniel said laughing. "If I had known this I would never have let you into my house."

"Your worst nightmare became true." Chris said laughing.

"Chris, seriously I don't care about it, do whatever you want, this house is now yours too..."

"Well, that's very nice of you, thanks Daniel."

"... I don't care while you cook for me."

"Well, I guess somehow I have to pay for my stay, but you're going to clean the dishes."

"Damn it."

____________________

Chris was sitting drawing in one of the beach chairs that Daniel had placed in front of his house.

In the neighboring house, there was a family gathered near the beach, everyone drank and laughed while some children played on the shore.

Daniel left the house with two beers and a sketchbook in his other hand.

"For you." Daniel gave Chris a beer.

"Thank you." Chris said opening and drinking it.

"What are you drawing?" Daniel asked curiously as he sat on the chair next to Chris.

"I'm just practicing landscapes." Chris said as he showed him what he was drawing.

"Shiiiit, dude, that is fucking awesome. It looks like a photo." Daniel said while admiring the drawing.

"Thanks to many years of practice and many afternoons going to the outskirts of Seattle to practice landscapes."

"You have fucking talent." Daniel said as he passed the sketchbook pages, on several pages he could see drawings of faces, animals, landscapes and superheroes. "I mean, you draw amazing, you cook very well. That pasta was delicious."

Chris smiled, his cheeks flushed.

"Thanks, I don't think I'm so amazing but I'm still trying to improve."

"You are the only one who doesn't see how incredible you are, Jesus." Daniel stopped at one of the pages where there was a drawing of two superheroes. "Chris.. This drawing.."

Chris smiled sadly.

"Yeah, it's another version of what we drawn together 10 years ago." Chris explained as he looked down. "You should look at the last page."

Daniel quickly turned the pages until he reached the last drawing.

"Our drawing, wow." Daniel said and laughed. "I really drew so badly?"

"Dude, I also drew pathetic." Chris said. "I was a disaster and thought those drawings were amazing."

Both boys laughed.

"I never forgot you.. well, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be alive right now."

"Man, don't say that."

"I met you at the time I needed more someone to help me.. literally." Chris said. "How could I forget someone who did so much for me?

"Well, I'm glad those damn powers saved you."

"You think I’m lying because I feel pity, but you are special, and I don't think you have those powers for nothing."

"Oh shit, here we go again." Daniel said as he drank of his beer. "I won't have another talk with you about my powers."

Chris shrugged and drank of his beer too.

"I already fulfilled part of our deal." Chris reminded him. "Now you must show me your sketchbook."

"Please, have some mercy, don't be so hard on me." Daniel said in a mocking tone as he gave his sketchbook to Chris.

"How do you want your score to be, from 1 to 10 or from 1 to 100?"

"I think 1 to 10 would hurt less."

Chris laughed and opened Daniel's sketchbook.

He saw several drawings of faces, animals and landscapes of Puerto Lobos.

"Dan, they're awesome!" Chris said admiring Daniel's strokes and the shading he used in each of his drawings. "I love how you draw the shading.. And your strokes, you have a unique technique.."

Chris turned the pages until he got one that caught his attention.

This drawing.

Daniel has it tattooed on the left side of his chest.

"Dude .. Is he your brother?" Chris asked curiously. "You tattooed the drawing."

"Yeah .. I got that tattoo 4 years ago."

"Oh."

Both boys remained silent for a few minutes while watching the sunset.

"I wanted something special on the chest, near the side where the heart is, so I thought a picture of Sean would be perfect." Daniel explained. "I made the design of the picture and I took it to the tattoo artist."

"Well, it looks amazing." Chris said sincerely.

"How did you know it’s Sean's face? I always hide it with my clothes." Daniel asked as he looked at Chris rising his eyebrow. "Little stalker."

"Well, I don't know if you remember, but this morning you did a striptease in the room after I left the bathroom." Chris said with a smile.

"Oh shit, you're right, you were there." Daniel said laughing. "You enjoyed the view, right?"

Chris rolled his eyes and looked straight ahead, hiding the faint blush on his cheeks.

"It's not like there was much to look at, to be honest." Chris replied as he finished drinking his beer.

"That was fucking rude man." Daniel said laughing. "Hey, I'd like to show you something, hold on a minute."

"Okay."

Daniel got up from the chair and entered the house, Chris kept looking at Daniel's drawings.

Many of Daniel's drawings Chris saw a person who looked like Sean but with a beard.

Esteban, Daniel's dad, of course, Chris had read what had happened to him in the news after he began investigating the whereabouts of the Diaz brothers.

Chris suddenly felt sad thinking about what Daniel had to suffer when he was just a child, knowing his father died.

God dammit, there's nothing fair about it. Chris thought bitterly.

When he closed the sketchbook Daniel left the house with something red in his hands.

Chris's eyes were wide with amazement and he got up from the chair when Daniel showed him what he had in his hands, his memories displayed in his mind like a movie.

"Here." Chris said while taking off his cape. "This is your cape"

"Do you remember it?" Daniel asked with a smile on his lips.

"You are the real superhero"

"Daniel, that is my old cape.." Chris whispered without even believing that Daniel still had his cape with him.

"Yes, I kept it with my stuff when Sean and I fled Beaver Creek." Daniel said while looking at the cape with love. "It meant a lot to me when you gave it to me, so I made sure to keep it safe and not to lose it."

Daniel looked at him surprised, and gave him a sad smile.

"Thanks Chris, that is super cool."

Chris touched his old cape and felt his heart beat faster.

"Like you."

"I guess it's time to give it back to the true hero of this story." Daniel said smiling wistfully as he gave it to Chris. "Thanks for everything Captain Spirit."

But before Daniel could do something, Chris hugged him.

"I already have something better back to my life." He said with tears in his eyes and resting his head on Daniel’s shoulder. "And that's you."

Daniel was surprised by the gesture of his old friend, but a few seconds later he smiled and hugged him tightly too.

"Me too." Daniel said, he felt his heart warm.

[purplesurveys]

736

Do you have a signifigant other at the moment? Do you love him/her? Yes, and yesssss. How many people do you live with? Are these people related to you? I live with four people and they are all immediate family. We also have a dog, because I don’t want to leave him out. Have you ever considered anyone or anything too personal for your liking? I’m not sure if I understood this correctly, but I do find the plot of Lady Bird too personal what with the tumultuous mother-daughter relationship so I can never see myself watching it. The Hours is also a very triggering film for me. Are you a confident person, or do you keep to yourself usually? I’m confident when I’m in a familiar situation, like if I have to explain journalism ethics to a casual reader or if I have to speak out against an issue within the org. I let other people take over if I’m in a new environment. Have you ever had to have surgery before? What was this for? Never.

Are you listening to any music right now? What song is it? Nah. Ever since quarantine started my sister has taken the unofficial role of playing music in the living room where we all usually hang out and I have a weird thing about keeping that thing hers and unchanging it. Like I don’t wanna break that routine, if it makes sense. I play my music late at night when everyone else has already gone upstairs. Where was the last place you vacationed to? Did you enjoy this time? I had a very quick trip – just a day trip to the beach, really – to Nasugbu with friends last August. It was a lot of fun but I probably spent more hours driving to and from Batangas than actually being at the beach because there were long stretches of traffic for both trips. But it was really fun; August isn’t a big travel month so we had the entire beach all to our four selves and we got to drink at the bar shortly before we were due to leave. When was the last time you ate pizza? Where from? Was it good? We had pizza from a local place called Angel’s Pizza delivered to our house a few weeks ago. It’s very good; I’ve had it before and it’s usually what our profs would treat us to if they wanted to get pizza for the class, so that’s what I suggested to my dad as a change cause we always get Pizza Hut. Is there anyone right now that you are simply/overly infatuated with? Yes, the above-mentioned significant other lol. What is your orientation? Gay? Straight? Metrosexual? Anything other? Last I heard metrosexual isn’t an orientation, but anyway most days I identify as demisexual. Sometimes I feel like throwing all labels out the window and just identifying as a formless blob. Is there anyone you know who is utterly repulsive? Who is this person? OMG yes one of my former social studies teachers. He played favoritism right from his very first year of teaching and was simply mean and a bully to students he did not like. Eventually students who had personal encounters with him exposed him in a Facebook group that existed for my school’s alumni and it turns out he had a liking for the chinita (Filipino-Chinese) girls from my school right from the start and hit on most of them while they were minors; he dated and married one of our alumni and got her pregnant, but eventually cheated on her, did not pay the hundreds of thousands of pesos he owed her for a very long time, and sometimes makes their kid hang out with his mistress. He’s a fucking pig and in an ideal world all the students he hated would get to form a line and punch him one by one. Are you related to any elected officials? What is their position? Yes we’ve always had family running the local office in our ancestral province. Do you have a certain standard you follow, when it comes to relationships? I don’t like being absolute about that now because I used to have what I thought were dealbreakers, but when the thing happened I didn’t feel like breaking up. I guess my biggest thing is that they should be intelligent. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who’s a bit on the slow side or holds very shallow or immature opinions. Who is your closest friend? Why are they so close to you? Gabie got my weirdness and I got hers at a time when we were looking for belongingness, so we became the best of friends despite all our differences. Angela and I simply clicked from day one. Who did you last hug? When did this hug take place? Where? I went over at my girlfriend’s place the weekend before they imposed the lockdown, which was on the firstish week of March. I hugged her before I drove off as I often do. Who was the last person to play with your hair? Are they cute? It was my dad, who was playing hair salon with me for a bit. Cute wouldn’t be my first word choice to describe him but he does do a bunch of stuff that can count as old-person cute hahaha like when he copies Tiktok dances or bonds with my dog. Who was the last person close to you, that died? Did you cry? I never got to bond with my grand-aunt Amet because she’s been living in Illinois even before I was born and only visited the Philippines a handful of times but she’s close in a sense that she’s a blood relative. I didn’t cry, but I was in shock that whole day. Is there anyone out there who can make you smile at any time? Angela. What is your favorite television show? Why do you watch this show? Ever, Breaking Bad. It was a fucking great series. If you're in school, do you like this school you attend? Or do you not? Yes, it’s been my dream school for the longest time. I had a number of relatives who studied there so there was already some pressure in the beginning for me to get in. Have you ever done anything really dangerous or illegal with friends? They all drank before we turned 18 (I waited until after, but I was with them for all sessions just drinking water lol). My friends and I also once took an Uber while we were all drunk, which counts for dangerous. What is your favorite word to say out loud? Did you just say that word? I don’t really have one. Or if I do, I just can’t remember it at the moment. Who is the one person out there who makes you feel very special? My girlfriend, durrrr. Also my dad when he buys me or treats me to stuff. Is there a certain person out there who gives you butterflies? ^ The first person. Do people call you a low-life sometimes/always? Why do they call you that? No. That’s a mean thing to say directly to anyone :/ Do you want to tell anyone anything right now? Who is this person? Not really. What is the fourteenth word of the song you're currently listening to? No songs playing. Are there any foods out there you just can’t refrain from eating every week? That’s a bit hard to do while in quarantine since I can’t exactly be picky with food now... but back when my routine was normal I would have Pancit Canton at least once a week. That or kwek-kwek, my favorite street food. Do you like Mexican food? What’s your favorite meal under that genre of food? I don’t know if I can hold an opinion on them since we mostly have Tex-Mex restaurants and I’ve never been to an authentic Mexican place. My favorite dish is fajita, if that counts.

Do you enjoy shopping? Who do you usually go shopping with anyways? My mom, because she typically pays for the clothes hahahaha and I trust her when it comes to who knows what looks good or flattering on me. When you see someone attractive, what's the first thing you look for? Their attitude and if they treat people nicely.

How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Do you find this healthy? Once or twice. Yeah, I think it’s enough. How old were you when you lost your virginity? Who'd you lose it to anyways? To my current girlfriend, when I was 18. Do you wash your own clothes? Or does someone else do that for you? No, my parents prefer to cover the laundry. Are you afraid of thunderstorms? What exactly makes you afraid of them? I would be scared if I was outside and there was a chance for me to get shocked, but if I’m indoors I generally find thunderstorms soothing. What color are the shutters on your house by the windows, if there are any? Mine are a dirty white. When was the last time you attended church? What is the name of this church? My mom makes us watch an online mass livestream every Sunday morning, and lately she’s been watching the livestreams from my grand-aunt’s American parish. I find it really fascinating that they don’t sing in their masses but it’s also a source of great joy for me because no singing means the mass only lasts 30 minutes HAHAHAHA compared to the hour-long masses we have over here, because we sing nearly the whole time. Do you enjoy talking smack to those annoying telemarketers? Is it funny? No, that sounds so obnoxious. Who was the last person you held hands with? Were they taller/shorter? My girlfriend; she’s slightly taller.

[sparklycitrus]

Virtus Principalis - Charity (Part 2 of 2)

Remember guys, this is the seven deadly sins. It’s not (just) about our boys being badass motherfuckers, but about them being bad.

I may also have gone a bit off theme but whatever. XD

Virtus Principalis

V. Caritas

(part one here)

The shower, like Q described, is cold and perfectly adequate. Bond scrubs until all signs of blood and dirt and tropical insect bits have been washed away. His camo, however, is a lost cause, so he chucks everything behind a shrub and goes back in as nude as his born day. The Quartermaster did ask, after all, and Bond is not one who disappoints.

Q has moved from his spot on the floor to the threadbare couch. His laptop, sans the thick cable, is perched on the rickety coffee table amidst a large spread of Colombian pesos. A loaded Walther (Q’s) sits to the side, along with some loose bullets, a butterfly switchblade, and box of Cuban cigars. Bond strides over, unabashed, and settles down on the couch. The fabric isn't the smoothest thing rubbing against his bare ass, but Bond’s sat in way worse, and the achieved effect is certainly worth the discomfort.

“There!” Q announces, a bit too loudly. Bond does not miss the furtive look thrown his way before the other resolutely returns to the laptop screen. “Now the Colombian government can’t possibly complain that we've never stuck our necks out for them. Really, every time someone moves a bit of refined coca off grid the entire region goes into fits. And they wonder why we prefer to keep tabs from afar.”

Bond makes a noncommittal noise. His attention has wandered to the cigar box, once he saw the Bolivar brand on the open lid. He distinctly remembers the last time he’s had a good smoke: it was in the backroom of a colonial hotel in Morocco. There were no less than three different guns pointed at his head at the time, but the only thing Bond could focus on then was the heady flavor of the Montecriso No.2 flooding his senses. The experience was regrettably cut short when he had to go out guns blazing. Would've been a remarkably successful mission otherwise.

He reaches for a stick, sliding it under his nose to take in the rich, loamy aroma. An appreciative hum escapes his throat. Beside him Q makes an interruptive noise. Bond looks over, just in time to see a guillotine cutter and a large butane lighter thrust his way.

Bond quirks an eyebrow. “I didn't know you smoke these.”

“I don’t,” Q replies. “The cutter came with the box and the lighter I stripped from a dead body. I doubt he’ll be missing it.”

“Where’s the body now?”

“Somewhere out back. Keeping your clothes company, I imagine. Why are you naked?”

“I clearly remember you asked me to be.”

“Let me rephrase: why have you decided to sit next to me, naked? This couch can’t be too comfortable, not to mention the health implications.”

To provoke you. Isn't it obvious? But Bond doesn't answer, instead he snips off the cigar tip, sniffing deeply once more before lighting it. The drag he takes in is deliberately slow. He knows Q is watching intently while pretending not to. Bond grins. He proceeds to stretch, arching his back and jutting his hips out so that his abs and half-hard erection are on prominent display.  

“Would you rather I sit on top of you naked?” he says.

He’s expecting the scoff but not the laugh that follows. It’s a nice sound, soft and lilting, and Bond feels an overwhelming desire to make it happen again. Q shakes his head, hands instinctively returning to the keyboard. But Bond can see the bright green eyes dancing mischievously even as he refocuses on the screen.

“As much as I enjoy the absurdity of that image, no, thank you, 007. Not my type of thing to unwind with, you see, and completely inappropriate for the current circumstance.”

It has only now gotten inappropriate? Bond chuckles at the thought, then asks, as nonchalantly as he can manage: “Oh? And what, exactly, is your type of thing?”

“Do you really want to know?”

There’s a pause when they turn to assess each other. Q is biting his lip, clearly debating whether to give a real answer. Bond waits, until the other man finally lets out a half-defeated sigh, subsequently closes the laptop and moves it off the table.

“Well, considering extraction is not for another six hours,” Q stands up, cracking the stiff joints of his hands and neck. “I suppose we have time.”

There are things that Bond expects the Quartermaster to dabble in, both as an inquisitive genius and as a member of a deadly organization with literal and figurative blood on his hands. The sheer amount of legal substances the man must've consumed to brave the flight down is already questionable, not to mention their mission has gone on for the past 40 hours with minimal breaks. In truth both of them should be using the precious time they've given to sleep. Instead Bond is sinking in the exquisite slow rush of a Royal Corona, watching his skinny, strait-laced Quartermaster walk toward him holding a brick of pure cocaine like an ordinary mail parcel.

“They aren't going to miss that either?” Bond quips, recalling their previous banter.

“This whole place will be burned down once we leave,” Q shrugs. “Right after they confiscate the valuables and deposit whatever is needed to keep the heads of state securely in power. Hardly something they’ll notice,” he gestured to the large stack of identical bags leaning against the opposite wall. “And even if they do, it’s not like they can openly declare a kilo of cocaine have simply gone ‘missing.’”

“Plan to do all that by yourself?”

Q laughs, the same melodious cadence, and Bond again is confronted with how much he desires it. “A kilo? In under six hours? You know, I've gone on a few binges in my life but, that may be just a tad too much for one person.”

Bond only smiles blandly in return. He relaxes into the couch, a comfortable haze surrounds him as he watches Q slash open the plastic wrap with the switchblade. The spilled white powder blankets the spread of pesos with a pure, crystallized sheen. Q makes a sweep of the notes, scattering them all over while making a clearing on the table. Bond stares.

“What?” the voice is indignant as Q meets his gaze. “No one claims a coke habit is tidy.”

“I see that it’s far from your first rodeo.”

Q answers him with a rude gesture. He then cuts a small amount with the back of the knife, making a neat, narrow line. A 50 mil note quickly becomes a rolled tube with practiced ease. “Bond,” he tsks. “Did you genuinely think those 60-hour shifts are pulled off on the mere merits of Earl Grey?”

He doesn't wait for a response before leaning down to rail the line. A rapturous look soon envelopes his features, and the satisfied sound coming out of that lush mouth sets Bond’s blood on fire. There’s a spot of white hovering just above the thin red lips. Without thinking Bond reaches over, swipes up the bit, and puts it into his own mouth.

It’s some damn fine coke, alright, Bond thinks as the numbness travels up his tongue. The look Q shoots him is positively filthy, and Bond suddenly has the urge to throw the coltish man onto the floor and fuck him, slow and deep. His body reacts at the thought and he makes no moves to hide it. It sounds heavenly in any case.

“Would you like some?” Q asks. His eyes are still lucid and the flush is very faint. Got a tolerance, Bond notes, as another neat line is cut onto the smooth tabletop.

“Not my vice of choice,” he declines, shaking his head.

“Ah, right. Liver failure. Always a pleasant way to go.”

“It’s not nice to judge others’ habits, Quartermaster, when you've just inhaled a gram of pure coke and it’s evidently not enough.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, 007,” Q’s narrows his eyes. “One, I wasn't judging, merely making an observation. And two, please, that was only half a gram, which makes this…”

He bends over and the second line disappears into the paper tube. “…the full amount and quite sufficient, thank you very m – oh!”

Q falls back against the couch with a moan, eyelids fluttering rapidly as the effect kicks in full force. Long, trembling fingers run through the dark curls, traveling down the elegant neck to pull ineffectively at the loose shirt buttons. Bond instinctively reaches out, but before he can touch any exposed skin Q slaps his hands away. He abruptly rolls over, bodily onto the agent, then clumsily deposits himself right into Bond’s lap.

“I’ll have you know, that certain stimulants tend to exacerbate my need to keep myself...busy,” the Quartermaster says as he rubs himself against Bond’s naked torso. The half-finished cigar is plucked from lax fingers and dropped onto the table, and Bond, for a moment, harbors a ludicrous thought to lament the loss. “And I believe, as an elite agent of MI6, it’s your solemn duty to protect your superior from committing any international cybercrime that could potentially endanger the integrity of the entire agency, simply out of boredom.”

“And how do you propose I do that?” Bond smirks. He pulls the man closer, hands sliding up the shirt to finally touch warm skin. Q hovers precariously above him, face flushed and pupil dilated and still covered in someone else’s blood, and Bond has never seen him look more beautiful.

“Oh, you’re a clever and capable man, 007,” Q whispers, lips gently brushing against Bond’s own. “I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

end

(I erased all my browser history after this because leaving ‘how to snort cocaine’ and ‘drug routes in Colombia’ in your Google search is just not an ideal thing to do.)

Other parts of the ‘sins’ collection: Chastity; Kindness.

[skinkcare-blog]

90 Questions, Beauty Edition

Helloooo, I’m starting to jumpstart my blog here. I really miss it, and a few encouraging people from my school have told me to start blogging and posting about what I love which is skincare and makeup. I saw two tags on tumblr and decided to form this 90-question tag. You’re free to take this if you want it, but I’d love to see your own answers!

1. Do you remember your first makeup item?

My first makeup item was most likely a cheap kohl liner that costed me like 20 pesos or something. Bands like Panic! at the Disco, Fall Out Boy, Greenday, etc. were really famous when I was in elementary school and my best friends started getting into putting heavy black eyeliner... of course, I had to follow!

2. Describe your perfect mascara?

I’ve got straight-ass baby lashes, and I think I’ve found my holy grail: Marc Jacobs Velvet Noir mascara! It’s really good and doesn’t smudge on me. The first time I put it on I was aoskdfasdfjhaeuirjhj!!!!!! WOW!!1 Are those really MY lashes! Wow! I put it right before my law school finals and was really happy the whole time because I felt so stinking’ cute with my lashes, lol.

3. What kind of coverage do you prefer from foundation?

Full-ass coverage to hide my imperfections. But that’s usually uncomfortable, so when I just have school or stuff, I do like light coverage.

4. Favorite high-end makeup and skincare brands?

For makeup, I have a favorite brand for each item like eyeshadow, lipstick, etc. It’s hard to choose. But I freakin’ love everything that Anastasia Beverly Hills releases. For skincare, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE Herbivore Botanicals. Everything seems to work for me and my collection of theirs is growing.

5. What cosmetic and skincare brands have you always wanted to try but still haven’t?

Boscia. Vinter’s Daughter. Sunday Riley (I keep canceling my orders because I just can’t justify the price tags. Ugh). Laneige. Indie Lee. Chanel. Giorgio Armani. Guerlain. High-end stuff my broke ass can’t ever afford, lmao.

6. Favorite drugstore brand?

Maybe L’Oreal. I love their clay masks and the Miss Manga mascara too much.

7. Do you wear fake lashes?

Yes! But they’re such a hassle, so only when I’m going to some party (or when I’m taking selfies lol)

8. Is there any kind of makeup you can’t leave the house without?

I would say lipstick, but the brows really make the face and these days I really can’t leave the house without putting on some dip brow. :( Kilay is life.

9. What is your most cherished beauty product?

I’ve got a lot since I’m finally, finally (after 120312932 trials and errors) finding my own holy grails, but it’s probably Glossier Cloud Paint in Haze. Started my whole “drunken blush” thing going on lately. It also lasts forever even on my oily skin. I put it on in the morning once, and when I went home my mom asked me “why are you so red? are you drunk?” And I just. Yassss.

10. How often do you shop for beauty products?

Too often for someone who’s kind of dirt poor and in law school, tbh. I pick up one or two items every week or two.  But again, as I’m discovering my HGs, I’m trying to cut down on my impulsive buying. (It’s hard.)

11. Do you have a “beauty budget” or do you spend freely?

As long as my parents are in a good mood I spend freely... just not excessively! 

12. Do you utilize coupons, reward cards and sales when you shop for products?

Of course, I try to. But sometimes I can’t wait to get my hands on a product so I just pick it up already!

13. What type of product do you buy the most of?

Lipsticks. I’ve got way too many. (70-something.)

14. Do you avoid certain ingredients in cosmetics and skincare?

Avoid parabens! And sulfates! And weird things like bird poop and horse fat! (I know right?)

15. Do you have a favorite place to shop for makeup?

Yes! Russian’s The Beauty Source in Makati! Super friendly people there. The sad thing is though, it’s all high-end. I mean I do tend to buy high-end stuff but things like La Mer are... phew. Never in a million years.

16. Do you like trying new skincare products or do you stick to a routine?

I love trying new skincare products because my skin is so problematic and I’m always trying to find things that’d work for me. 

17. Favorite bath and body brand?

I like The Body Shop, but my favorite scents are from Bath and Body Works.

18. Are you clumsy applying makeup?

I’m clumsy in general. So!

19. What do you apply first, concealer or foundation?

Foundatiooon. Duh.

20. What do you love about makeup?

It’s therapeautic for me, I found out. Like it makes me feel happy and calm whenever I do my makeup. Or even just do a swatch party.

21. Lipstick, Gloss, Lip Stain, Balm, or Lip Liner? 

I just discovered Peripera’s Ink Velvet tints, and though they’re a bit drying I love them. So I’ll go with those since they’re the only ones that stay on after I eat and stuff, lol.

22. How do you make your Lipstick / Lip Gloss last longer? 

I use lip liner, usually. And to make them last extra long you gotta stop licking your lips!  23. How do you pick a Lip Color that looks good on your skin color? 

I tend to not go for super light shades because those wash me out and just don’t look good at all on my skintone.  24. What are some cheap ways to take care of chapped lips? Good ‘ol lip butter and some sugar scrub. Or vaseline.

25. Favorite drugstore lip product? EOS lip balms are nice.

26. Favorite brand name lip product? Kylie Cosmetics (for liquid lipsticks and lip liners), Fenty Beauty (for dat mf gloss bomb!), Peripera (tints)! 27. Do you usually play up or play down your lips? Play down. I love MLBB shades. 28. Eyeliner in Pencil, Gel, or Liquid? Liquid. B-) 

29. How do you do a cat eye? 

I just... wing it! Honestly. I’ve been putting on fancy eyeliner since I was like 13 so I’ve got the hang of it now. (Still mess up sometimes tho. Blame the shaky hand.) 30. What do you use to remove eye makeup and mascara? Right now I either use Pixi double cleanse, Skininc coconut cleanser water, and Maybelline oil-based makeup remover. The Pixi one works the best but kind of stings my eyes. 31. How do you make your eye makeup last longer? Good eyelid primer! Setting powder!  32. Cream or Powder eye shadow? Powder since I have yet to try any cream eyeshadows. I tried using Glossier’s cloud paint in Dusk on my eyelids once... it was a weird, sticky mess. #nope 33. What tricks can you do to make your eyelashes look longer? If you’ve got baby lashes like me (who am I kidding, even babies have longer lashes than me), just use false lashes lol. 34. How do you brighten up your eyes? 

Glitter eyeshadow, inner corner highlight, concealer, nude kohl liner and black as FUCK mascara. Yes.  35. What color(s) go with your eyes? 

Warm shades. 36. Favorite drugstore eyeliner? 

I don’t use drugstore eyeliner!  37. Favorite drugstore eyeshadow? 

I also don’t use drugstore eyeshadow. I’m picky as hell. 38. Favorite drugstore mascara? 

L’Oreal Miss Manga voluminous mascara forever. 39. Favorite drugstore eye pallette? Eh, pass.

40. Favorite brand name eyeliner? K-Palette eyeliner! Asia represent!

41. Favorite brand name eyeshadow? Anastasia Beverly Hills for powder eyeshadow, Stila (Magnificent Metals Glitter and Glow!) for liquid eyeshadow. 42. Favorite brand name mascara? 

Marc Jacobs’ velvet noir saved my life. 43. Favorite brand name palette? 

Kat Von D Shade and Light Contour palette helped me lose like 10 pounds. 45. If you can only use one eye makeup product, what would it be? 

Mascara, okay. 46. What is the difference between an eye primer and an eye base? 

Imo eye primers are more of like the “glue” that holds everything together and an eye base is what goes over the primer as like. The base color. Makes everything bolder, brighter and last longer. 47. Any tips on applying falsies? 

Pray. 48. Favorite brand of falsies? 

I really love Lilly Lashes but they’re mad expensive (like $30). 49. How do you pick your shade of foundation? Whatever says medium lmao I go with that. I’m shit at picking foundation and concealer shades but I’m usually like a pure beige/medium/warm beige/nude warm vanilla things like that. Yellowy. 50. What's a good foundation for oily skin? 

ESTEE LAUDER DOUBLEWEAR FOUNDATION SAVED MY OILY ASS SKIN. 51. What's a good foundation for dry skin? I’m not sure.

52. What's a good foundation for normal skin? 

Probably the Fenty Beauty foundation and every other foundation in the world, you lucky ducks. 53. How do you pick a foundation for your skin color? You pick one blindly and hope it’s a match. Hehe. 54. Tinted Moisturizer, BB Cream, or Foundation? Foundation. I love tinted moisturizers in theory but they don't work for me (for some reason the NARS one stings?) and BB creams are TOO white for me. 55. What is a BB Cream? Blemish Balm cream. Also known as the culprit for my ghastly white face in old pictures. Boo.

56. What do you use to apply your Foundation? Either a beauty blender or a foundation brush by Artis, BH Cosmetics or Real Techniques.

57. How can I make my nose look slimmer or straighter? 

Contour, boo. 58. Cream, Powder, or Liquid Blush? 

LIQUID BLUSH CHANGED THE GAME FOR ME. 59. Favorite foundation? 

Estee Lauder doublewear. 

60. Favorite concealer? The Tarte Shaptape is real good imo. Not sure if it’s holy grail material but it’s good for what it’s worth. 61. How do you conceal a pimple? I fail at that.

62. How do you conceal dark circles? 

First you gotta color correct (I use the LA Girl pro concealer in the orange shade) and then you put on the concealer. Use a beauty blender to blend the orange color corrector first then the concealer.  63. How do you get rid of or lessen dark circles? 

If you know the answer to this that doesn’t involve water or sleeping early, please hmu. 64. What is your daily skin care routine? Morning: wash face with my The Face Shop Dr. Belmeur foaming cleanser, tone with witch hazel, put on vitamin c suspension (The Ordinary), then Hyaluronic Acid (also The Ordinary).

Night: remove makeup with the Pixi double cleanse, cleanse with The Face Shop ^ cleanser again, use a mask, tone, put caffeine solution (The Ordinary) under eyes, put hyaluronic acid, then rosehip oil (The Ordinary).

65. What is your weekly skin care routine? 

Theta’s it. I use masks like Herbivore’s Blue Tansy as often as needed and advised. 66. How do you prep your face for makeup? 

PRAYER.  67. How do you take off your makeup? 

Double Cleanse, wipes, and Micellar Water (Garnier). 68. What are some DIY face masks? 

Honey + avocado + apple cider + oats.  69. Where can you buy face masks? 

I usually purchase mine from The Face Shop, Herbivore Botanicals, L’Oreal and just korean brands. 70. What facial moisturizer do you recommend? 

I don’t know. I want to try the Fresh Seaberry oil though. 71. How can I get rid of or shrink my big pores? THAT IS MY CURRENT PROBLEM. :( 72. How do you highlight your face? 

I use a good high-end highlighter (my favorite one is from OFRA), wet my brush using MAC Fix+ after dipping it into the highlighter, and bam. Cheekbones, nose bridge, tip of the nose and cupid’s bow. 73. How do you contour your face? 

I use either Kat Von D’s contour palette, or Too Faced’s milk chocolate soleil. 74. How often should you clean your makeup brushes? Depends on how much I use ‘em.

75. How do you clean your makeup brushes? I either use some soap + olive oil or the Daiso or Beauty Blender cleansers. 76. What are some inexpensive makeup brushes? BH Cosmetics’ are really nice!

77. Do you prefer matte or shimmer eyeshadows? I used to love matte shadows but now I super love shimmer shadow. 78. Do you prefer matte or dewy skin? Can I have dewy skin that doesn’t look oily, please.

79. Do you prefer matte or shiny lipstick / lipgloss? Matte because it lasts longer. 80. When did you start wearing makeup? Officially started getting really into it when I was like 13. 81. Who taught you to put on makeup? Myself. 82. What is your favorite brand of makeup? Already answered this!

83. What product do you never leave home without? I always have lipstick in my bag, powder be damned.  84. If you only had $50 dollars for makeup and skincare, what would you buy? I’d buy all the shit I have in my Althea cart (all skincare)! 85. Who is your favorite beauty guru on youtube? BRETMAN ROCK. Does he count? 86. How long do you take to get ready in the morning? Like half the day.  87. What online makeup store is your favorite? Sephora! 88. Who are your favorite beauty blogs on tumblr? Temptalia. Does that count? 89. How long should you keep a product? Until it ain’t spoiled, lmao. 

90. What product are you hoping to buy next?

Honestly, I really want the Fresh seaberry oil and I’m waiting for it to be in stock again. 

[shamelessly4shameless-blog]

The Sand In Your Shoe (pt 15)

Watching Mickey and Mandy serve customers is a bit like watching kids play shop with plastic cans of beans, pretend money and no clue about the service industry. They are haphazard, their manner toward customers is as far from compliant as it is possible to get but their shot pouring is often generous to the point of lunacy and the customers keep coming.

The clientele is mostly young people but Mickey is scrupulous with ID checking, he can’t afford to get into any sort of legal mix up with the police if a fifteen year old gets taken to the ER with alcohol poisoning. He doesn’t seem to mind them hanging out though as long as no one is causing trouble and everyone is buying something.

Ian starts off just sitting back and watching but after a while the place starts to fill up and he begins to help Juan clear the tables and serve up nachos and fries from the kitchen – the two items on the food menu.

“You don’t got to help me, man. I got it.”

Juan glances awkwardly at Mickey and then back to Ian

“I don’t mind helping out.”

Ian smiles and Juan shrugs. He doesn’t mind having the help as long as Mickey doesn’t think he’s slacking off.

*

Ian is doing his third or fourth sweep of the room when he sees a couple of kids topping up their cola with vodka from a bottle under the table and turns to see if anyone else has noticed only to find Mickey staring straight at them.

“Should I say something?”

Ian asks, leaning across the bar to be heard over the music. Mickey pushes his tongue into his cheek considering. He’s changed into a black button down shirt and dark jeans, Ian is having a hard time concentrating on anything besides the way Mickey’s shoulders stretch the fabric, and is absurdly jealous of the belt slung low round his hips.

“Nah. They ordered food earlier and this is their third soft drink. Let ‘em have this one and I’ll bust them if they do it again next round.”

Mickey nods to the washing bowl of dishes in Ian’s hands

“You know Juan can take care of that right?”

“Yeah but I like to help. Makes me feel useful.”

Ian grins and Mickey shrugs, happy as long as Ian is happy.

“Okay but you know … Jesus Christ! What the fuck is this …”

Mickey breaks off, turning to glare at a young man who is banging on the bar for service

“Do that again and I’ll shove the next shitty martini you order up your ass.”

The young man is momentarily stunned and then frowns over his glasses at Mickey.

“You’re the one making them! If they’re shitty, that’s on you.”

“If they’re shitty it’s because they’re a shitty drink. Try this instead.”

Mickey pours a half-shot of tequila and puts it in front of him

“One hundred pesos for this or two hundred for a martini.”

“Dude! It’s not even a full shot!

“Because you’re already in full asshole mode. Don’t bang on my bar for attention again if you like your hands attached to your body”

The guy grudgingly hands over the money and Mickey finally releases him from the glare he has been withering under since the exchange began. Ian feels a little for the glasses-guy but watching the exchange was seriously hot! He is almost desperate to kiss Mickey but isn’t sure how okay that is in front of a bar full of people. His hesitance isn’t even about the possibility of Mickey having one foot still in the closet. He clearly lives an out and proud life here, but he always hated public displays of affection and even when he and Ian were an acknowledged couple back in Chicago, Mickey tended to shy away from his touch if there was an audience. Ian hovers undecided for a moment and it is a moment too long because Mickey is already moving down the bar taking next orders.

*

Mandy and Juan are so obviously an item that Ian can’t believe Mickey doesn’t seem to know. The sly little touches and lingering looks that fly between them would be cringe worthy if they were not clearly in love.

As the initial early evening rush subsides at around nine and Ian sidles over to her and whispers

“Mandy and Juan sitting in a tree …”

She grins and presses a finger to her lips.

“Oh c’mon, you don’t really think Mickey is going to mind do you?”

“No, but Juan feels weird about dating the Boss’s sister so we’re on the down low.”

She wraps a length of hair around her finger, her darkly lined eyes already slipping from Ian’s face searching for her boyfriend.

“Tell me about it later?”

Ian asks and Mandy nods, shooing him away impatiently. Mickey’s own gaze is raking the bar in search of Ian and he can’t help but smile at how similar the Milkovich siblings are in subtle little ways.

“Hey!”

Mickey’s slight frown instantly clears as he spots Ian’s read hair bobbing toward him and he pours four shots of top shelf tequila.

“It always gets a little quiet now, the shack down the road sells churros and when they close up the old guy who runs it practically gives the days left overs away.”

“Cool.”

Ian accepts the drink and smiles as Mickey delivers Juan and Mandy their shot before having his own. Mickey would never admit it but he is something of a natural leader. Ian can see why Juan so casually calls him ‘Boss’, in this place that is exactly what he is and Ian loves it.

“Yeah, nice guy. He likes us cause we sorted some trouble he was having a little while ago so he makes sure to send everyone back here once the free grub is gone.”

“Trouble?”

“Yeah – no biggy. Some kids havin’ fun. I suggested they might take it elsewhere and they did.”

The calm, authoritative tone that is no doubt the front to a story that involves far more than a suggestion does things to Ian that make him squirm on the barstool uncomfortably. Mickey glances down at Ian’s lap and his tongue pokes into the corner of his mouth, a brief flash of pink against the tan of his cheek.

He turns in that lazy, wide armed way that Ian loves so much and the air frizzes around them with kinetic energy. Ian is half way out of his seat when Mandy dumps herself onto his lap, pushing him back down.

“Ian, do you want to go try a churro? They’re really good.”

Mandy hands Mickey back her glass and strokes Ian’s arm, her nails digging in slightly and he nods obediently.

“Yeah sure. Mick, should I bring you one back?”

“Nah. Gotta watch my figure.”

Mickey grins and slaps his flat belly lightly. Mickey cocks his head to the side and gives Ian the briefest of winks, stealing a moment of gentle intimacy from the humming bar, and then looks past him.

“Hey! You two! Yeah that’s right, Thelma and Louise, I see you over there. This ain’t a BYOB party. You want vodka? Get some older friends to buy it for you from my bar or scram.”

The girls Ian noticed earlier both giggle and hastily gulp down their drinks before sliding out of the booth.

“Ugh. Those two are in here all the time. They can’t get enough of Mickey telling them off.”

Mandy stands up and scowls after them as they dash out with shy little waves

“Really?”

Ian raises an eyebrow at Mickey who shrugs and grins a little bashfully and begins taking glasses out of the dishwasher, wiping them on the cloth, which seems to live over his left shoulder from the second the bar opens.

“Yeah, they might have a little crush goin’ on. Harmless though and not a fuckin’ word of English.”

“Then why …?”

Ian begins and Mandy collapses dramatically against him, fluttering her eyelids and pouting.

“It’s his big, pretty blue eyes and bad boy growly voice.”

Mickey salutes her with his middle finger but Ian thinks he looks positively smug about the whole thing.

“Should I get myself a sexy school girl outfit?”

He teases, arching both brows suggestively

“Ew. No. Don’t even joke about that shit. If I want you to play dress up, I’ll get you a suit I can rip off.”

Mickey wrinkles his nose disdainfully as Mandy grimaces and tugs Ian toward the door.

“So gross. Later, Romeo!”

She calls over her shoulder and Mickey rolls his eyes, drying another glass.

“She’s a dick. No wonder she’s single as fuck.”

He gives Juan a little half-smile and poor Juan nods as if his life depends on it.

*

“So? Juan?”

“So? Mickey?”

Mandy counters and Ian huffs an amused sigh

“I’ve been here less than twenty-four hours and made him talk about his feelings twice.”

“Well you’re still alive after that so I guess you have any other answer you need.”

“Funnily enough I think he feels the same.”

Ian laughs squeezing her arm and slows his stride so that Mandy doesn’t have to skip to keep up.

“He seems different though. Gentler, you know?”

“Yeah he is. I think it’s cause he feels safe here. It’s his place, his space and no one bothers him.”

“You think I’ll fit in?”

“Of course you will! Even if you didn’t fit, Mickey would kick the fuckin’ walls in to make space for you.”

Mandy nudges Ian gently in the side with her elbow and he gives her a wonky smile.

“I think I freaked him out earlier.”

Ian tells Mandy about his mini-meltdown on the beach and she listens with complete non-judgmental sympathy.

“Don’t worry about it. You could have spaced the crazy out a little for him but you guys always seem to do everything all in.”

“I guess. I mean I think it’s fine. We fooled around afterwards, not like that … I mean yeah that too but …”

“Please! Ian, stop!”

Mandy laughs.

She asks about Lip, Debbie … all of the Gallagher’s and Ian tells her what he knows, which he realises is not really all that much anymore. Ian rolls his shoulders before changing the subject.

“Ok, seriously I need to hear about Juan?”

“Juan is a sweetie. Like, sometimes he’s too sweet. Keeps talking about marriage and babies and blah!”

“Sounds like he’s smart enough to see what a catch you are.”

Ian nods approvingly and Mandy bobs her head a little shyly

“He treats me right. Doesn’t yell at me, doesn’t hit me, makes sure I cum first.”

“Shit! He’s a better boyfriend than I am.”

“Ew. Gross.”

“How is my sex gross and yours is fine?”

“Yours is with my brother.”

Mandy thumps his arm lightly and Ian switches the subject back a bit.

“How long have you guys been together?”

“Just over a year.”

“Wow! Serious then?”

“It is. We are.”

Mandy is radiating happiness and Ian wraps an arm around her shoulder hugging her tightly and pressing a kiss to her head.

“Do you think you’d marry him?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. Marriage is basically agreeing to put up with someone elses shit for the rest of your life and having to give them half your stuff if you bail.”

“Jeez Mandy! So romantic!”

“Well that’s what it is! And before that is was a way of a transferring a woman from being her father’s property to being some other assholes. It isn’t really a romantic idea.”

Ian glances down at her a little shocked and Mandy sticks her tongue out

“Okay, so fine. Would you get married?”

“Yeah. Maybe. I guess one day.”

“Milkovich or Gallagher?”

“Gallavich?”

Ian laughs and Mandy pauses mid-stride considering this.

“That could work. Milkovich is probably fucked with Mickey’s situation and who would even want to label themselves as part of our shit-show of a family anyway?”

“Gallagher isn’t much better. What is Juan’s surname?”

“Sanchez.”

“Be more Mexican?”

Ian grins and Mandy punches him again, a little harder

“I like it. Mandy Sanchez sounds cool.”

“Yeah it does.”

Ian agrees and then hangs back as Mandy bounces up to the window of the churro stand and waits for her to come back with one of the sweet little pastries and as they walk back to the bar, she shows him the photos she captured on the beach. Ian chooses his favourites and Mandy sends them over. By the time they get back, Ian has a new phone wallpaper and is smiling broadly.

*

The final couple of guys stagger out of Galagers just after 1am. The place is cleaner than usual thanks to Ian helping out and Mickey, cigarette already dangling from his lip, tells them all the call it a night, they’ll clean up properly tomorrow.

Juan says he feels like getting a little high and invites them all back to his place. Mandy pretends to think about it and then nods. Mickey declines slips and arm around Ian’s waist, gliding his hand discreetly under the sweaty fabric of Ian’s t-shirt.

“Cool, laters amigos!”

The second the door closes behind Juan and Mandy, Mickey’s lips meet Ian’s with bruising force. Ian grabs Mickey’s denim-clad ass firmly and lifts him up, practically throwing him onto the bar top and running his hands from Mickey’s knees to his hips, hard.

“God! You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to do that all night.”

“Yeah?”

Mickey smirks and wraps a leg around Ian, pulling him in with a heel in the crack of his ass.

“Mmhmm. Watching you strut up and down, running that smart-mouth at everyone …”

Ian takes Mickey’s cigarette from his mouth and puts it in his own drawing deep, lightly dragging at Mickey’s lip with the pad of his index finger as exhaled smoke curls down over it. The corners of Mickey’s mouth turn up at the way Ian’s eyes follow the movement.

“You like it when I run my mouth?”

Ian nods, crushes the cigarette under his heel and ducks his head, lightly kisses along Mickey’s lower lip.

“I like everything your mouth does.”

A very fine shudder runs through Mickey, happiness and lust sending his nerves skittering across each other. He always loved it when Ian would get like this, a little imposing, putting himself firmly in Mickey’s personal space and turning it into his own. Making it so that even the breath in Mickey’s lungs might actually belong to Ian, and if he demanded it, Mickey would have no choice but to surrender that too and suffocate beneath the fierce green gaze.

In a way that Mickey cannot possibly begin to explain, the more domineering Ian gets, the safer Mickey feels and to just give every ounce of himself over to Ian to do with what he will. In a very specific way, to be controlled is to be free in Mickey’s world.

Perhaps that is what makes him still Ian’s exploring hands and look up at him from beneath shyly lowered lashes.

“You mind if we wait a minute?”

“Really?”

Ian removes his lips from Mickey’s throat immediately but doesn’t relinquish his hold on his waist.

“I just … I want you to see something. It won’t take long.”

Mickey hops down from where Ian put him and catches his hand, leaving Ian no choice but to follow as Mickey leads him toward the door.

They step outside and Mickey stops abruptly. With his black hair and dark clothes he effectively blends into the darkness and Ian squeezes his fingers tightly to make sure he doesn’t let go. The fierce heat of the day has been replaced with a refreshing chill and Ian shivers slightly, though he is glad of the change.

“Close your eyes.”

“It’s fricken’ night time Mick. I’m basically blind already.”

“C’mon, don’t be a dick.”

Ian laughs but obligingly does as he is told. Mickey doesn’t often do things like this but Ian adores it when he does, so he tries to be extra cooperative in the hope of inspiring more little surprise moments.

“Don’t look until I say, okay?”

“Okay.”

Ian doesn’t need to have his eyes open to know that Mickey is peering up at him trying to make sure he is being obeyed.

“They’re closed, Mick!”

Ian hears a satisfied grunt and grins into the darkness. Mickey’s hands guide him down the steps and onto the beach, Ian is a little wobbly on the sand as they get closer to the sea and the ridges become deeper. His shoes are filling up and he makes a mental note to buy flipflops tomorrow.

“OK, I got you, sit down, don’t look.”

Ian sits as gracefully as he can and almost breaks his promise as he feels Mickey sit down behind him, settling Ian snuggly between his knees and urging him to lie backwards until Ian’s head comes to rest on his chest.

“Ready?”

“Um … yeah?”

“OK, Go ahead and open ‘em.”

Ian blinks and then his jaw drops. The entire galaxy is spread above them, a swirling chaotic mass of stars shining brilliantly in the blackness.

“Holy shit!”

His voice is barely above a whisper and he feels the resulting chuckle reverberate in the chest behind his head a split second before he hears it.

“Cool, huh? Blew my fuckin’ mind the first time I came out here.”

There is the sound of a lighter, the brief scent of burning paper and then the sweet smell of marijuana floats down to Ian. His head bobs as Mickey’s chest expands and then releases and cool fingers brush against Ian’s lips offering him the joint.

Mickey’s other arm is wrapped around Ian’s chest, not stroking, just keeping him close. Ian reaches back and carefully tuck a stray lock of hair back behind Mickey’s ear, caressing from helix to lobe.

“What a difference a day makes, huh?”

Ian whispers, smiling and there is an answering smile in Mickey’s voice.

“No shit. When I saw you this morning …”

The joint is withdrawn from Ian’s lips as Mickey trails off and Ian sees the tip grow suddenly bright as Mickey turns his head and inhales.

“It was weird right? Like, I don’t even know how I got from the steps to you. I sort of blacked out.”

“You fuckin’ tripped down three of them and then took a running dive at me.”

Ian nods, it might be the pot but this actually sounds like exactly what he thought happened.

“I was fuckin’ terrified you were I thought you might hit me.”

Mickey’s hand tightens involuntarily as he shakes his head

“I wanted to kiss you so badly … thought I was gonna fuckin’ cry or some gay shit.”

Ian cracks up and after a seconds pause Mickey is laughing too and the laughter builds until Ian can’t breathe and Mickey is coughing a lung up.

“Fuck off, you know what I mean.”

This sets them both off again and Ian retrieves the smoke, taking another drag.

“What were you saying to me? When you had your face in my chest?”

“Huh?”

“You kept saying something but I couldn’t hear it.”

“Ah … I don’t …”

“Don’t say you don’t remember!”

Ian tries to sit up and Mickey makes an affronted noise and quickly pulls him back down.

“Alright, alright. I … I was saying I knew you’d come. It was corny as fuck but you kinda shocked me just showing up. I think I lost my mind a bit.”

Ian reaches beneath Mickey’s leg and toys with the firm curve of his ass cheek.

“Did you really know?”

“I figured one day… yeah. I hoped so anyway.”

Mickey shrugs and the doobie is exchanged again. His free hand drops away from Ian’s chest, giving him a little more room. He is more than willing to have Ian touch him however he wants as long as he doesn’t try and move.

“I tried to forget you.”

“Yeah, I figured that too.”

There is no hurt in Mickey’s voice and Ian marvels at it. If Mickey said such a thing to him, he would probably fall apart again.

Fingers stroke gently through Ian’s hair and he looks up, not at the miraculous sky above but at the smooth curve of Mickey’s jaw, pale and almost silver in the starlight.

“How the fuck did I get so lucky to find you?”

“My sister blabbed.”

“I mean … like, in life?”

Ian grins but manages to fight down the next round of giggles.

“You’re so great Mick. You accept me better than even my own family and even after years apart, you’re just like … there! You’re just right there.”

“Okay, no more of this for you…”

Mickey jokes and licks his thumb and forefinger before pinching the thinning end of their smoke.

“I’m being serious. I rock up and cry all over you, I freak out and get pissed at you and you still show me the stars! Why are you like this with me?”

Ian traces the jaw he can’t stop staring at with the back of his hand. Slim fingers close around his and Mickey dips his head to kiss Ian’s fingertips.

“You set me free, man. I don’t know what I … I mean, really, without you, I’d have probably killed myself or done something crazy. I was in the fucking gutter, crawling out of my skin but you showed me I was okay. You made me okay, Ian.”

They sit silently for a little while then, looking up at the stars, both of them well aware that they are not in the fucking gutter anymore.

At some point Ian stands, repositioning himself behind Mickey and gently pulling him close, kissing the black silk of his hair. They share another joint and Mickey has a cigarette as well. They swap softly spoken stories, painting the years for each other, drawing honest pictures and occasionally pausing to kiss or whatever else is needed for reassurance. Eventually the sky begins to turn from inky black to navy and patches of indigo begin to appear toward the horizon.

Mickey huffs a gently sigh and rolls his neck. Ian stands and gently pulls him to his feet.

“Home?”

“Yeah.”

[rayalez]

smut

0I don’t tell him I think handsome guys with heavy Spanish accent always sound like characters from a cheap soap opera. That might be a bit rude. But, to be honest, I think que way every “s” of his turns into a double “s” and some words get misplaced here and there is kind of cute.

He’s very tall, too tall for the tiny couch where we spend the night. I’m not small either, and we try to hug but end up in a mess of tangled limbs. He wakes up in the middle of the night and asks me if I’d like to move to bed with my friend, who went to sleep several beers before us, he says he wouldn’t mind sleeping in the couch by himself. I’m half asleep and snuggle closer to his neck and just say “no”.

A few hours later, I’m the one who wakes up with his arms around me and my back killing me. I turn to face him, deep asleep, and I kiss his neck and run my hands on his chest, his nipples, the front of his trousers. He is awake now, and helps me undress him. I take his cock in my mouth, the faint morning light coming to the living room through the bedroom door. I’m lying next to him, my back turned to him, and he is fucking me as silent as he can, slowly, little moans escaping to my ears.

We fall asleep again, and later, when I check my phone, it’s already 2PM. There’s a message from my friend, the one in the bedroom: “I really really really need to pee but I don’t want to walk into naked people in the couch. Help.” It’s from two hours ago. I show it to him, we laugh and I go make coffee for the three of us.

24

A few hours later, I get a message on my phone:

“I think I left my jacket at your place. Can you check it for me, please?”

“Yeah, it’s here.”

“Maybe I left it on purpose just to have an excuse to see you again…”

“Maybe I hid it.”

“Do you work tomorrow?”

“Yep.”

“Early?”

“Depends on what you consider early. I have to leave at nine-ish.”

“That’s cool.”

“Why?”

“I want to sleep with you again, but I don’t want to be one of those clingy guys.”

He is looking at the ceiling. It’s good to be in a proper bed.

“You know… There was a moment there, when you were on top of me, that it felt really weird. I was looking at you but I was seeing the buildings behind you through the corner of my eyes, and for a moment there it looked as if the whole world was upside down. It was weird, but it felt really good.”

I’m tracing his chest with my hand. He takes it and compares our palms.

“Wow, your hands are gigantic.”

“They are, but they’re also really well-shaped and pretty.”

His hands are pretty, as well, but mine are prettier and bigger, just a little. His hair is longer than my pixie boyish cut, and it spreads all over the pillows, the duvet, the bathroom tiles, the kitchen sink. It’s taking over the house.

He tells me about growing up in the seaside.

“It’s a city made for tourists, all the porteños spend their vacation there…”

“What’s a porteño?”

“Someone who’s born in Buenos Aires. Because of the harbours, portos.”

“Oh.”

“So when it was not hot season for tourists, the town would get kind of deserted and the prices for everything would be really cheap. There was this one bar that had all sorts of pinball machines and arcade games, and for just one peso I could play for hours.”

Then he tells me about his family, about his two younger siblings, and how bad he felt growing up.

“They’re so white. I’m the only one who turned out dark.”

“You’re the lucky one. You look like this cliche hot latin lover with olive-tanned skin.”

“Stop fetishising me. I have feelings. We don’t really have black people where I grew up, so everyone would call me negro and it really bugged me.”

“Does it still bug you? I think you look delicious.”

“A little bit. Only white people triumph in life, you know? I’ll never triumph.”

He sounds resigned.

“So you don’t like people of colour?”

“It’s not that, I just think they won’t triumph. The ones I really don’t like are the immigrants.”

“That’s true. Bloody immigrants taking our jobs.”

“And our women.”

His hands have been between my legs for a while, now, and he slides a finger in when he says that. I close my eyes and whimper, and he starts finger-fucking me while I bury my head in his shoulder. I take his cock in my hand, he moans and I lick my palm and start jerking him off. Then I get him in my mouth again, and he turns me over so he can do me while I’m sucking him off.

“Don’t you ever come?” I ask, pulling away and kissing him while his fingers move back to my pussy.

“Do you want me to?”

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to come in your mouth?”

“Yes.”

“Let me fuck you, first.”

When I check the time, it’s 2AM. I need to be up at 7. I’m not sleepy. It’s going to be a long Monday.

I wake up and go make coffee. I take a shower and he is still sleeping when I come back into the bedroom. I snuggle up close to him and wake him up with many tiny kisses on his face.

“You said you were a cat but now you look like a little chicken.”

I smile and continue to shower his face with little pecks. He laughs and rolls me over, pinning me to the mattress.

“Are you a chicken or a cat?”

I meow and hug him, bumping his shoulders with my head. His cock is hard against my legs, but I really need to get to work. I try to push him away, but he whines. “Just a little biiiit.” I get up and tell him to go wash the dishes so I can get us something to eat.

He stares at me.

“What,” I say.

“I was wondering if you’re being serious.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I’m a guest, how can you make me wash the dishes? That’s so rude.”

“Oh please, you’ve been here for over 24h in a row, you can’t play the guest card.”

“You’re a mean woman.”

“I’m a witch.”

48

“I forgot my headphones at your place. Damn.”

“Poor thing.”

“Or maybe it’s just another excuse to go back…”

“Don’t you have classes today?”

“Just one. I’m free at 8.”

“Gosh, you are clingy. That way you’ll just get tired of my face in no time.”

“Well maybe you will get tired of mine.”

“But your face is so fine.”

I’m lying between his legs, my head resting on his thigh. His cock is hard but I’m just looking at it.

“What’s this?”

“It’s a tiny scar. I had that surgery when I was a kid, you know?”

I slide his foreskin so I can take a look at the head.

“And this?”

“I’ve always had that.”

I count the freckles and spots. It looks good. Very good.

I lick the head and suck his balls. He moans, but I’m just getting to know the new territory. I lick again from base to the head, and he breathes in and grips my hair.

“I think he likes me,” I say.

Later, he opens the bathroom door with no warning.

“I’m peeing! Get out!”

“What? I’ve already seen all of your body.”

“But I’m peeing. I’ve got a shy bladder.”

“Pee on my hands.”

“So romantic. I think we’ll get along just fine.”

We can barely keep our eyes open, but his hands won’t leave my body.

“It’s your own fault for being so damn hot.”

“For Christ’s sake I need to sleep. Get away you filthy Argentinian perv.”

“Let me sleep like this,” he puts his hand between my legs, barely moving. I take his cock in mine.

“Ok. I’ll sleep like this, then.”

We end up fucking again, but I do sleep with his cock in my hand, afterwards. I think I like it, too.

In the morning, I sit on the bed and look at him, covering his head with a pillow and not wanting to wake up. I start bouncing on the bed, saying wake up wake up wake up wake up. He looks at me through a tiny opening under the pillow, and asks:

“What time is it?”

“Eight. I need to leave at nine.”

“It’s early,” he says, and covers his head back with the pillow.

“It’s not. I’m late. Wake uuuup. Go make coffee while I take a shower.”

“Do this, do that…” he mumbles and stands. I think he’s going to the kitchen, but he sits back on the bed, just behind me, and puts his arms around me and his chin on my shoulder. It’s sweet and I’m not very good at sweetness.

“You’re not moving,” I say.

“In a moment.”

I rest my head against his neck and kiss it.

“Ok.”

72

“This is the longest first date in history,” I text, when he suggests he wants to see me again.

“Are you tired of me yet?”

“Yes, but you still need to wash the dishes. Do all of your first dates last 72h?”

“Of course not.”

“I think if we go over this mark we’ll have to see this whole situation as a challenge, see how far we can get.”

“Today I leave quite late. You can go meet my place.”

“I could, but it’s too far from the new office, and I need to be there early tomorrow morning.”

“My house is six minutes away from yours, by bike, but I’m not sure I’m awake enough to take the journey.”

“It’s a pity, for a moment there I thought we could make it to the Guinness Book of Records for dating.”

“You’re going to make me go to your place again, aren’t you?”

“I won’t make you do anything, the human being is an animal capable of free will.”

We’re lying in bed. We’re living in my bed, leaving just to work, eat, shower, take care of our basic needs. He wants to fuck me but I don’t let him.

“I can’t take it.”

“Are you too tired?”

“No, I literally can’t take it anymore. My pussy hurts, I think it’s sore.”

“Can I lick it better?”

He does, and he slides his fingers up my ass and looks up at me, smiling.

“Look how wet you get.”

“It’s because I like it so much.”

Later, he comes in my mouth. We try to sleep but his fingers keep finding their way to keep me awake.

“Stop. You’re going to get me dehydrated.”

“It’s your own fault. Witch.”

“Perv.”

“You like to sleep like this, right? Last night we spent the whole night on this same position.” I’m snuggled up on his chest, my nose buried on his neck. His shoulders are broad and warm.

“I can’t recall.”

“We did.”

I kiss his neck, gently, and his fingers are moving again.

“Stop. Stop. Stop.”

“Such a mean woman.”

“The dishes.”

It’s morning again, he is sitting lazily on the couch and we’ve just finished eating my tapiocas. He throws his head back in despair.

“Stop ordering me about! Do this, do that, don’t fuck me now, do fuck me now… Do you think I’m your servant?”

“Yes. My sex slave.”

“You’re the one who’s my sex slave.”

“Not only you’re my sex slave, you’re my on-call delivery sex slave. I just sit back and wait for you to come whenever I want.”

“Oh my god you’re actually right. I’m so pathetic.”

“Yes. Luckily, you’re good looking enough to get away with it.”

He stands up and gets closer to me, towering over me and looking down, his hair falling on my face, his lips very close. He grips my neck gently with one of his hands and slides the fingers from the other in my mouth. I close my eyes and suck on them. He says, quietly:

“You need to work on improving your submissive ways, woman, otherwise this relationship will have no future.”

I reply, licking his fingers and looking up at him:

“I’ll try.”

I slide my hand into his ridiculous orange underwear and take his cock, brushing his balls and caressing the head with my palm. He moans, and I suck hard on his fingers. He drops his forehead on my shoulder and starts moving his hips. I say:

“I’ll start tomorrow,” and pull away from him abruptly, getting in the bathroom and closing the door. I scream at him: “Do the dishes!”

When I finish my shower and get out, he’s looking grumpily at me over his shoulder, the water tap running and soapy cutlery in his hands.

“Bloody witch,” he bickers.

96

“Gosh I need a massage. My back is still killing me, since that night we spent on your couch.”

“Hm I’m afraid I’m not a massage pro but I could offer a cat massage?”

“That sounds good.”

Later, he’s at my place again and we’re both almost too sleepy to talk. He is lying down on his stomach and I’m sitting on top of him, pressing my hands against his back.

“Would you like me to have a go?” he asks.

We change places and he starts showing me how to find tension nodes. It hurts, but it’s really good.

“Oh so that’s how you do it…” I say, feeling his firm hands pressing against my achy spots.

“Yes. Now you do it.”

He jumps off me and lies down again, and I stare at him, outraged.

“Seriously? You didn’t even do it for five minutes! This wasn’t a massage, this was just a tutorial!”

“Well, you needed it.”

“I can’t believe you! So selfish! So ungrateful! You come to my place, sleep on my bed, leave your damn hair everywhere and still complain about my massage skills!”

“Oh. Don’t be mad. It was cute.”

“Cute?!”

“Try again.”

I do, and he moans deeply when I find the little tension nodules on his shoulder blades. It’s kind of cool.

“You know, I had this yoga instructor, years ago, and once I got to class and he was telling me about this self-massage course he took during the weekend.”

“That sounds useful.”

“But also kind of depressing.”

“Yes…”

I tell him the guy is now a renowned painter, according to his own personal Instagram marketing. He’s even appeared on TV with his colourful splashes, and he’s exhibited in Oslo and won a few international prizes no one’s ever heard of. I tell him that’s the kind of painter I should go out with.

“Have you ever had a solo show?”

“Not really. I don’t try, to be honest. I rarely sell stuff. Sometimes I trade paintings with friends for useful things that I’m in need. I just did a few exhibitions with some friends, mostly for social causes.”

“Why don’t you try selling your stuff?”

“I can’t deal with fame.”

I laugh and fall on the bed beside him, giving up on the massage.

“Because you’re such a talented jerk that if you moved one tiny finger to get your paintings out there, you’d be instantaneously famous, right?”

“Exactly.”

He says, closing his eyes.

“It must be tough being you.”

“You have no idea.”

I look at his peaceful face for a few moments, and before I realize it, my eyes are closed as well. I hear his voice:

“If you had told me we were going to sleep I wouldn’t even bother coming all the way over here, I thought we were going to have sex.”

I open my eyes, his are still closed.

“You’re the one who’s sleeping,” I say.

“You’re the one who’s sleeping,” he replies, barely audible.

“Why are you dressed?” I say, tugging at his shirt.

“You’re dressed, too.”

“I can undress.”

“So do.”

“But you promise we’ll sleep? I’m exhausted.”

“I promise.”

I’m sucking his cock and playing with his balls. One of my fingers brushes his ass, and he arches his back, leaning in to me. I look up and ask:

“Do you like it?”

He nods, breathless, and says:

“Do you like it?”

I smile, still looking at him, my lips touching the head of his cock, and let some dribble fall on top of it. It slides all over the length, and I let some more spit fall on his balls. I jerk him off a little bit, my hand getting moist and slippery, and he closes his eyes. I take him in my mouth again and reach his lips with my wet fingers. He licks them, and when they’re wet enough I go back to his ass. I put a finger in, slowly, and he moans. I keep sucking, watching his face while I curl my finger and feel him getting more relaxed. He’s breathing faster and starts moving his hips to fuck himself against my finger. I move faster and take his cock deep into my throat, letting more spit fall on his balls and drip to his ass. He is moaning and grabbing my hair, and I suck faster and deeper, swallowing as much of his cock as I can, almost gagging, feeling my fingers deep inside him, brushing the sweet spot that gets him over the edge. For the first time, he finishes without warning, filling my throat with a thick load of come. I swallow all of it, his back is arching lifting off the mattress, his body all tensed up, his spine almost bending broken, his hands clinging to my head, his own head thrown back, eyes closed shut. I wait for it to be over, and it lasts a long time. Then I softly remove my finger and let his cock slide out of my mouth onto his stomach, limp, wet and still big. I lick it gently, tasting the last few drops. He is lying on the bed with closed eyes and a satisfied smile. I lie next to him and kiss him, slow and wet. He faintly throws an arm over my body, exhausted, and looks at the ceiling and starts laughing.

“What?” I say.

“Nothing. It was too good.”

I smile as well, feeling smug.

“It’s difficult to find guys who like that.”

“Is it?”

“Yes. I think I’m one lucky witch.”

“It was way too hard waking up.”

“I know. It’s because we went to sleep after 2am.”

“But we’ve been sleeping after 2am everyday…”

“Exactly.”

I don’t tell him it took me a couple of hours to finally get to sleep, listening to his heavy breath on my neck, his warm arms around me. I felt one or two shy tears escaping my eyes, and took a deep breath; I did some quick math on my mind and realised our date had reached 100 hours. The first 100 hours and I didn’t cry once, that must be a record; I didn’t want to ruin it, but I’m so scared I feel like my blood turned into cold liquid.

Now, we’re sitting on the couch and Mitya, the cat, jumps to his lap. He plays with him, his pretty well shaped hands moving softly. I look at him and I don’t feel scared anymore. I feel the shadow of fear but I don’t feel fear. I’m afraid of the shadow.

I consider telling him to run away now, to get away from me, to escape while it’s time because with me there’s no turning backs, nothing is ever light or casual, it only goes deeper. Getting into my heart is a one way road, and it’s a rocky one. I know I’m not easy, I know I’m a leaver, I know I confuse people and scare them off. I don’t know if I really want to scare him away or test him, or if I’m so terrified because rejection always seems the only possibility, so I think it’s better to get rid of him before it happens; I don’t think I’ll be able to take another blow, not so soon, not so soon. This was supposed to be just a date. It wasn’t supposed to go like this.

His head is bowed down, his wet hair falling over his face, his eyes looking affectionately at Mitya, Mitya’s neck exposed to him. I lie my head on his lap, beside the cat, and look up at him. Mitya starts purring. He strokes both our necks, and smiles. He looks so damn yummy. I want to keep him.

I’m super late, but I tell him there’s something I need to do before we leave.

I take my tarot deck, shuffle it with my back to him, cut and take a single card:

The Chariot. Number seven.

My lucky seven.

100

“Look, I just got home to realize I left the keys hanging outside the door. For the whole day. Besides, this morning, you remember, I almost left the gas on when we were leaving. There’s only so much coffee a person can take to keep going. I’m on my limit. I can’t take it anymore. This is getting dangerous. I need to sleep. I admit defeat. I think 100 hours is a good enough mark for a date. It’s over.”

“What do you mean by that? Are you dumping me?”

“No, idiot. I mean that tomorrow we can talk about our second date.”

smut was originally published in Fiction Hub on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.

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[deardizschel-blog]

i love you

Hi. I don’t know how to write and I suck at writing but as always, I give out my best for you. So allow me this attempt hahaha. Its 4 in the morning and I’m not yet asleep, sorry for lying. Ewan din haha antok na ko kanina eh pero nung nag good night ka na, it didn’t felt right. I felt like I have to express my thoughts here than saying it directly to you… how I wish we didn’t have to end up like this. Di ko nga alam kung kaya ko ba eh pero shit happens siguro talaga minsan. You told me you don’t understand bat ganito… bat ganito tayo, bat naghiwalay… bakit… honestly, ako rin, I don’t know. A part of me wanted to stay, wanted to fight for this, wanted to be with you a little longer pero ewan. Kanina I thought dahil lang yun sa alcohol dahil lasing ako. Baka sobrang vulnerable at sensitive lang, pero hindi eh. Siguro sobrang bullshit lang kasi na pagsabihan na nanloloko ka lang na hindi totoo lahat. Hahahaha naiyak ako gago HAHAHA. Pero totoo, ang sakit na pinamukha mong pinaglaruan kita, ginamit kita. I’ve been at my realest when it comes to you. Lahat yun walang filter. Sobrang unfair dahil kung sino yung minahal ko, yun pa yung ang layo layo sakin. Pero okay lang. promise okay lang ako if you felt that way. Sorry ang arte hahaha minsan lang kasi ako gumawa ng big things for a girl tapos aakalain pa na fake love yun hahaha uy fake love by drake HAHAHA joke. Pero yea, as what ive said diba, in life siguro some days we win some days we lose at baka today’s a loser day ahaha baka ganun lang yon hahaha. Tapos mas irritating pa dahil sobrang jinxed!! I booked a flight just the other day tapos biglang ganito HAHA kaya siguro I didn’t had the chance to ask papa for the returning plane ticket. Well at least you know it’s real haha I was willing to go to you, spent 5,000 pesos pa nga from my money eh hahaha and okay lang. Sobrang okay lang gumastos non just to see you, hug you and kiss you. Sayang nga lang di na mangyari hahaha but nonetheless, you were worth everything. Worth it magstay up hanggang 3am just talking to you, mag take out ng Jollibee palabok and chicken para mainggit ka, the sushi and milktea para twinning tayo haha, the got 2 believe and serendipity movie na di mo naman natapos, magpatalo sa tetris battles so you would win HAHAHA, the Spotify playlist, the tumblr blog (HAHAHA alam mo ba, at first I thought it was “tumbler” :))) NANOOD PA AKO TUTORIAL PANO YUN GAWIN HAHHA), bili ng car charger and cord dahil ayaw ko malungkot o mabored ka walang kausap in case gabihin man kami, pagpicture ng pink skies para aesthetic din ako kahit di ako mahilig magpicture hahah, magpause or off ng ps para makausap na tayo and basta lahat lahat yun. Lahat nun and many more other things hahaha. I would be lying if I say kaya ko na to live my normal day without you, my samokan dizschel!! Hahaha but I promise I will try my best to distance myself from you para easier for both of us. Although I promise you this, can’t promise na di kita matatandaan sa things around me. I swear youre one of the bestest things that has ever happened to me and although it has reached its end, know na you will always be my bubba and that you have been my favorite part of the past 10 months! Favorite kita on Mondays kahit first day of the week yun, you unknowingly help me get through my Tuesdays dahil BL day yun, Wednesdays pag natatawa ako seeing white polo on my closet dahil wash days namin yun, pag Thursdays dahil I hate Thursdays kasi 1pm class ikaw pa yung nagreremind sakin haha, pag Fridays kahit early class mo you never failed to remind me everything, pag Saturdays u always make time for me kahit na uuwi kang muñoz at ako may class at pag Sundays na family day pero ikaw naman family ko at ako din sayo kaya tama lang na spend pa din natin Sundays together diba AHAHAH!! almost 5:00 am na ngayon, grabe 1hr pero parang kulang pa din yung mga sinabi ko haha see told you I’m bad at this hahaha. Baka napapagod ka nang mag basa ha hahaha bear with me im sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry for being an ass before when I cheated on you, for the time na nagpabj ako when I shouldn’t have because you trusted me, for being a constant maldito and impatient boy haha, for being extra seloso, for being “kind” when you don’t want me to, for hating on your harry styles hahaha, for all the lapses, im sorry. Sorry dahil naggive up ako. Youre not the type of person na dapat igive up and honestly im not giving up on you naman eh youre the hardest person na igive up on hahaha but maybe this is time’s way of telling us na baka di pa ngayon? Maybe we’ll meet again some time soon? Pretty sure you’ll find someone who’s better than me. You always say im the best, best lang ako when its with you and I know mas may best pa than me. You say ako yung lucky charm mo but im not. All your achievements and success are all you!! You are an amazing and wonderful person. Wouldn’t have had it any other way. Love yourself lagi dahil maganda ka naman talaga inside out. Trust me when I say na you are strong haha ako di ko siguro kakayanin yung broken family plus shitty friendships plus hassle breakup with a gago. But you, look at you!! When I met you you were thriving kaya easy to say na youre strong. Your loyalty is such an admirable trait bub, you will always be one of my greatest friends in life. I would not know how love and life and distance is if not for our times together. You will always be my madam sel. I wish you find genuine happiness and love that you truly deserve. Look for a man that will hold your hand while you conquer the world and not a man who will merely offer you the universe dahil ikaw mismo ang universe haha youre beautiful, you are more than enough and worthy and gooooooddddd its so hard to let you go haha I don’t want to. grabe. Pero yun nga you felt na my existence is half baked and my feelings for you are lukewarm hahaha. But I swear it was real haha. Youre the fifth woman who made me cry. First was mama, achi then lola tapos yung ex ko pero mas masaklap to hahaha fuck bakit :--( you know I don’t like you to cry pero feeling ko umiiyak ka na hahaha don’t cry okay don’t cry lalo na dahil saakin. But you should know na I actually dreamt and hoped na we would end up together kahit may 101% doubt ako don hahaha tapos turns out ganito pala talaga ending. But I don’t blame you and I don’t want to hear any explanation. I guess I’ve already made up my mind. I’ll let you go na. I want whats best for you and I hope na you would find your better man soon!! I love you chel. I know sobrang redundant ng mga sinasabi ko pero I mean all of these. I meant when I say na minahal kita and mahal pa din kita. Don’t think na this is an easy exit for me because its not its definitely not. Sorry if this has to happen on your birth month pa. pero wag na wag mo ihate yun ah kasi ako ito one of my favorite months dahil pinanganak ka HAHAHA CORNY HAHAHA. Pero oo yun hahha I love you babe. Sobra sobra sobra!!!! No more explanations i dont want us to argue anymore haha basta know na mahal kita. This is definitely not a good bye just a til then! Hahaha ang daldal ko na and medyo sleepy na ko hahaha sana di na ko gagawa ulit ng letter pero puta madaldal ako eh dami ako nasasabi lagi HAHAHA thank you for everything bub. Di pa naman final na di ako sasakay ng plane eh hahaha pero wag ka din aasa. We’ll be in touch pa rin okay? You still have my heart and I will always be your number one fan! I love you my bestfriend, my home, my family, my girl!

 Selkirk forever hahaha

 Always,

Coy

[thebckph-blog]

Save or splurge: Makeup products

Written by Gaby Baizas

Makeup doesn’t have to be an expensive hobby. I’m a broke ass college student, and while I have to look good as fuck, I also have to be smart as fuck when it comes to shopping for makeup. I need to get the most bang out of my buck (or peso?), because makeup is an investment. I categorize makeup products into two categories: save or splurge, because while I need to make sure I get only the best of the best for certain products, I allow myself to find cheaper alternatives for other products.

(Fair warning: you might disagree with me on some of my choices here, but hear me out.)

Foundation: Splurge

Like in all relationships, you want to make sure you have a solid foundation. Same goes for makeup! This is the base of all your other fucking makeup, girl. You want to make sure you invest in a good foundation that has a good coverage, but also feels great on the skin. My personal favorite is Make Up For Ever’s Ultra HD Foundation, which clocks in at about 2,700 PHP.

Concealer: Save

You’ll be surprised--foundation actually does most of the concealing work for you. That is, if you make sure to put concealer after your foundation. If you invest in a good foundation, you can afford to buy a cheap concealer. I use L’Oreal True Match which costs you only 300 PHP.

Blush: Save

As long as you find a good color that’s just right for you, you can buy a cheap blush. The blush I use is a single blush from The Face Shop, but the last time I checked stores, they don’t sell these anymore (???!?!?!!!!).

Eyeliner: Splurge

Mmm. Eyes are a very sensitive part of the face, of the whole body, really. You don’t realize how frequently you touch your eyes in a day until you’re wearing eyeliner and you really, really, really don’t want to smudge it off. Waterproof eyeliner that really STAYS on is an investment.

For liquid eyeliner, my personal fave is K-Palette’s 1 Day Tattoo Real Lasting Eyeliner. They cost 795 PHP and are available at any branch of Beauty Bar. That shit really is real lasting. For pencil eyeliner, I haven’t been lucky enough to buy one for myself, but I’ve been meaning to purchase MAC’S Pro Longwear Eye Liner, which costs above 2000 PHP for a single pencil. But trust me, when I swatched that shit, I had to vigorously wash my hands more than once to get it off. I even remember sleeping with it still swatched on the back of my hand.

Eyebrow products: Save

Sure, Anastasia Beverly Hills makes great brow products, but they’re really expensive and hard to get in the Philippines. Eyebrows are really important to me in framing my face, but I’ve found that The Face Shop’s Designing Eyebrow Pencil does just the trick for only 225 pesos. It even comes with its own built-in spoolie! Also, watch out for when they sell these in pairs for the price of one! God bless.

Eyeshadow: ???

Okay, here’s the thing. Eyeshadow is hard. I own an eyeshadow palette from Maybelline, and an eyeshadow palette from Urban Decay. And I manage to churn out mediocre eyeshadow designs with both of them. I have yet to master the art of eyeshadow.

Personally, I think high-end eyeshadow palettes are much better, because they’re pigmented and they blend better. But I don’t think I’m worthy of them.

Mascara: Save

I honestly don’t know why everyone doesn’t think this way--mascara expires after three months, people. Why would you spend thousands on a product that expires so quickly? Maybelline’s HyperCurl Mascara does the job just fine for only 199 PHP.

Lipstick: Save and/or splurge

The thing I love about lipstick is that there are drugstore brands that produce good lipsticks, and high end brands that have their classic lipstick shades that everyone loves. I say explore the world of lipsticks until you find a brand or line of lipsticks that suits your needs.

(But if you’re trying to save, stay away from MAC. Once you go MAC, you never go back, because it’s amazing as fuck--the color choices, the finishes, the texture it leaves on your lips. The hype is real, fuckers. And I’m broke as hell--that’s probably why I haven’t bought another lipstick in so long, because legit, now, I personally won’t settle for less.)

Gaby Baizas is an AB Communication junior at Ateneo De Manila University, and is doing her best to deserve the money for the expensive life she wants. View all her works for BCK here.

[shamelessly4shameless-blog]

The Sand in Your Shoe (pt 17)

As Mickey makes eggs he tells Ian about Reuben. Churro guy, hopeless gambler and Mickey’s erstwhile patron when he first arrived, although it seems to have come full circle now.

“I only came here because I wanted to get to the beach, you know? I figured I was gonna get caught any day and if I’m being honest, I wasn’t planning on being taken alive, man.”

Mickey says this in such a matter of fact way that Ian chokes on his coffee, completely unprepared.

“Fuck, Mick! Seriously?”

“Yeah. Juvie was shitty but compared to actual jail … no way I was gonna spend the rest of my life there. Couldn’t do it.”

Mickey shakes his head as he whisks the eggs and Ian has to resist the urge to knock the bowl out of Mickey’s hands and crush him against his chest.

“Anyway the plan was to sit on a beach, get wrecked until the cops came. I stayed a few nights, slept in my car, got up in the mornings and got something to eat from Reuben’s place – I kept waiting for sirens but they never came and I started thinking that maybe I got away with it and if I got away with it I needed a plan.”

Mickey sips his coffee and smiles at Ian

“I considered doing a couple hold-ups or turning over a couple houses but that seemed like fuckin’ beggin’ for trouble so I took a chance on Reuben and I asked him how a guy could get money around here.”

“Really?”

Ian is surprised that Mickey would take a chance on anyone but actually thinking about it, the person who has been providing food every morning without asking any questions is probably the person Ian would have chanced too.

“Anyway long story short, Reuben is a gambling man and he was, kinda still is, part of a underground circuit in this bar. Though as soon as I bought it I shut that shit down. I don’t know where they play now. Don’t care either.”

Mickey slaps bacon in the frying pan and likes the salt from the pad of his thumb in a way that distracts Ian from the million and one questions he wants to ask long enough for Mickey to regain his thread.

“Turns out, Reuben is a wicked good player when he’s sober but once the drink starts flowing…meh.”

Mickey makes a tilting motion with his hand and shrugs

“We teamed up. I gave him all my money ...”

“You did what? Was that the money I gave you? You just gave it to some guy?”

Ian looks a little pissed and Mickey clucks his tongue impatiently.

“Yes it was the money you gave me. But I was a little testy with you at the time, on account of you fucking off and leaving me, and giving it all to some dude to stick on black or whatever you do in poker made me feel a little better.”

“Ha! I knew you were pissed at me!”

Ian slaps his fist into his waiting palm triumphantly and Mickey rolls his eyes in exasperation.

“Yeah, I was but I got over it … Not over you, I didn’t say that!”

He counters the crestfallen look on Ian’s face quickly and then sighs.

“I needed to turn dollars into pesos and I wasn’t exactly thinking clearly.”

“Go to a damn bank, Mick. Jesus. That was my entire savings and you just gave it to some guy to gamble?!”

Ian grumbles but there is no real heat to his words. He picks up his coffee mug and rolls it between his hands, the warm porcelain smooth and reassuring. He knows he shouldn’t be mad at Mickey for gambling his savings, it isn’t like Mickey even wanted the money, but it still stings that Mickey had wanted rid of the help Ian had been able to give.

“A bank? With all the cameras and shit? Yeah, no, by all means get pissed because I didn’t go to a fuckin’ bank, Ian!”

Mickey snaps irritably and begins plating up their breakfast, slamming spoonfuls of eggs with more force than is necessary. Ian puts his coffee down on the table and steps up behind Mickey, wrapping his arms lightly around him and resting his chin on his shoulder.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have been shitty.”

Mickey’s shoulders remain tense for a few seconds longer and then relax a bit.

“Don’t worry about it. I probably shouldn’t have told you that bit.”

“No Mick, I want you to tell me anything and everything you care to. I guess I just feel bad and it hit a nerve.”

Ian squeezes Mickey slightly who allows himself to relax fully against Ian’s chest and smiles slightly.

“Take your damn breakfast and go sit down.”

They eat in silence, neither of them big on chatting over a meal, but the minute Mickey finishes his last mouthful, Ian is urging him to carry on with the story.

“Ok, well so we got in there, the game is in the basement and Reuben sits at the table and I’m just hanging back watching, I don’t have a fuckin’ clue what’s goin’ on but Reuben knows that if he fucks my money up, I’ll fuck his face up.”

“Yeah I bet he got that vibe.”

“Right, and the game goes on and one by one guys are dropping out and I’ve gotta take a piss so I head upstairs and when I get back the game is clearly fuckin’ over cause Reuben is grinning at me like a fuckin’ maniac waving fistfuls of cash and yelling that we won.”

Mickey grins at the memory

“Man, the other guys were pissed. This one guy started to come after us and I warned him but he kept comin’ so I shot him in the leg. Not the kneecap though cause for all I know he didn’t speak English so benefit of the doubt that he maybe didn’t understand me telling him I would shoot him if he didn’t fuck off.  His friends were yelling at me and someone pulled a knife which was fuckin’ stupid cause I just shot his buddy so what the fuck does he think I’m gonna do to him? After that the rest got the idea and left us alone. You want more coffee?”

“Uh … no.”

“Mind if I finish it?”

“Go ahead.”

Ian waves him on, marvelling at the change of direction as Mickey happily helps himself.

“Thanks. I tripled my money that night and next day I went back and offered my services as a security guy, cause apparently there had been a shooting in the area. When I had enough money I bought the place off the owner who was fuckin’ desperate to get rid it and I kicked the gambling squad out cause who needs the fuckin’ aggro?”

“But Reuben still plays with them?”

“Yeah and he drinks cause I’m not there to knock it out of his hand. Hence, he loses money and owes money. He’s a dumbass, but he could have ripped me off and he didn’t, so I like to help him out.”

Ian collects their plates and washes them up whilst Mickey sips his coffee.

“You know, your money is what bought this place.”

“It was your money, Mick. I gave it to you.”

“Well all the same. The way I see it, Galagers is as much yours as it is mine. I want you to know that. You said you need to have a boat … this is your boat, Ian. It’s here if you want it.”

Ian can feel Mickey watching him for a reaction, maybe looking for any sign of Ian not being completely sure of this towering emotional inferno that has reignited between them in less than twenty-four hours of being back together.

“I’m all in, Mick. I already decided that. You don’t have to offer me half your bar.”

“It’s not charity, it’s just what’s right.”

Mickey shrugs and moves to stand beside Ian, looking up at him with sincerity

“and I’m all in too, just so you know.”

They don’t need to say more than that. Mickey picks up the dishcloth and dries the dishes as Ian places them on the draining board.

*

Reuben greets Mickey with a hopeful smile and the sort of two-handed handshake that Ian thought belonged solely in old movies like ‘The Godfather’. He ushers them into a small living room and they both sit on the tattered old sofa whilst Reuben’s wife serves them small mugs of hot, gritty coffee.

Reuben makes polite small talk until she leaves the room and then glances pointedly at Ian.

“He’s with me. We’re together.”

Mickey answers simply and the small frown on his face clears in understanding.

“They came back Mickey, they want more money this time and I told them I will not pay.”

“Did you tell them you’re my friend?”

“They did not believe me. You are legend. I am just old.”

He spreads his hands on his lap, his face a mask of hopelessness but Mickey only purses his lips, unmoved by the flattery.

“Do you owe them the money?”  

His tone is cold, almost stern and Reuben blinks at him, the muscles in his jaw twitching guiltily.

“I owe 20,000 pesos. They ask for 50,000. Interest.”

Mickey sighs and nods before picking a little of the coffee grain off the tip of his tongue. Ian is kind of intrigued by the dynamic here. As a younger man, Mickey would probably have been the one shaking Reuben down and Ian can see the faint urge to do some sort of violence to the rather pathetic looking man before him simmering beneath the surface. However, after a little consideration Mickey licks his lip and says

“Pay them what you owe. You can’t get outta that and I’m not gonna fuck someone up because you suck at poker when you’re drunk. But you can tell them to come and ask me for the interest if they really want it.”

“Thank you Mickey. You are truly my dear friend.”

Reuben visibly sags in relief and Mickey stands up. Clearly, the meeting is over.

“Stop fuckin’ gambling with these assholes. Next time this happens, I’m gonna charge you a security fee.”

Mickey frowns before flicking his eyes toward Ian and jerking his head toward the door and leading Ian out.

*

“Don Milkovich, huh?”

Ian grins when they are a small distance away. Mickey laughs and shoves his arm playfully, all traces of his irritation gone now that they are alone.

“Fuck off.”

“You’d look good with a silk cravat though.”

Ian steps in front of Mickey and runs a finger down the open V of his shirtfront.

“Should we be expecting trouble?”

“Nah man. These guys, they play hard but they don’t have the stomach for my kind of rumble. I was the only asshole with a gun in that place and they think I’m some sort of Russian mafia.”

“Why Russian?”

“Because they don’t know the fuckin’ difference between Russian and Ukranian, ignorant fucks. Changed my ID once I got settled here, just to make any nosy pig work a little harder. I go by Alexandre Tereshchenko officially, it was my grandma’s surname before she married Pop Milkovich.”

Ian blinks a little taken aback at this new nugget of Mickey related information.

“I never even thought to ask about your name.”

“Why would you? You know who I am.”

One side of Mickey’s mouth lifts in an affectionate smile and he pats Ian’s cheek lightly.

“None of this shit affects you and me. It’s old and Reuben is wearing my patience seriously fuckin’ thin anyway. He keeps it up he’ll be on his own.”

“What about Christina?”

Mickey shrugs as if it means nothing to him and Ian crosses his arms over his chest, impatiently.

“You clearly like her a lot.”

Ian presses and Mickey nods, narrowly resisting rolling his eyes.

“I do. She reminds me of … well I don’t know. Mandy when she was little I guess. Scrappy and bold as Hell. Kicks her brother’s ass all over the beach when they get into it.”

“Not Yevgeny?”

Ian could bite his tongue in regret as soon as the words leave his mouth because Mickey’s face goes completely cold and he drops his gaze, quickly stepping around Ian and walking on.

“No.”

“Oh. I just thought … I mean they’re the same age...”

“I haven’t seen Yevgeny since he was basically a baby. I don’t know what he’s like so how the fuck would another kid remind me of him?”

Mickey’s tone is far sharper than he intends it to be and Ian compresses his lips guiltily and hunches his shoulders a little as he matches Mickey’s pace.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be a thoughtless prick.”

Mickey’s nose twitches slightly but he smiles up at Ian and reaches up to smooth the fabric of Ian’s shirt across the shoulder nearest him.

“Svet takes good care of him and he don’t get hit, yelled at or any of the other shit I would probably end up doing if I was there. Yevgeny is fine.”

“Hey! You wouldn’t be like that! I know you wouldn’t!”

Ian is genuinely shocked that Mickey thinks he would be a crappy father. Mickey just shrugs.

“Maybe, maybe not. Best that I’m not there for the kid to find out the hard way though.”

“But don’t you want to know him?”

“It doesn’t fuckin’ matter what I want. Me and Yevgeny were fucked the moment that judge sent me down. Fifteen years? Shit. He was never going to have a dad after that.”

“Svet brought him to see you though.”

Ian mumbles, feeling very much like he should not have started this.

“That would have been worse. Every Saturday he has to get in a car with his mom and drive two hours to see some guy he barely knows to talk to him for ten minutes and then drive two hours back? Fuck that!”

Mickey frowns disdainfully at the idea of it.

“You’re free now though, we could maybe ask Svet about visitation …”

Mickey stops so suddenly Ian has to double back and turn to face him and when he does, Mickey places a hand flat against his chest and looks up at him almost imploringly

“Ian, please? He’s fine. I’m fine. Now you and me are fine too and that is all I need, okay? Please let this go.”

Ian considers trying to get his point across one more time but one look at Mickey’s face convinces him not to push it and he huffs out a sigh instead.

“OK. Sorry.”

Mickey doesn’t respond and the topic is clearly closed between them. Ian isn’t surprised either really. He should have had the sense to see that the subject of Yevgeny was not going to be a popular one and as always, his timing was fucking terrible.

They have come to the main high street and Mickey pauses on the corner to light a cigarette.

“I need a haircut. I look like a fuckin’ hobo compared to you.”

“I like it a little longer. Makes you look all trendy.”

Ian offers, toying with the slightly shaggy top lengths. Mickey inhales deeply and laughs in a cloud of smoke

“Well fuck that! I’m definitely cutting it.”

Ian grins and begins to step into the street to walk up to the barbers but Mickey catches his arm and pulls him lightly back before hastily letting go.

“You wanna … look, we don’t have to, but if you want to …”

Ian follows Mickey’s gaze as it flicks downwards and he gives Mickey a sweetly lopsided smile at the sight of the pale palm offered to him.

He laces his fingers through Mickey’s own and places a soft kiss on his boyfriend’s temple. Mickey takes another pull on his cigarette to cover up how pleased he is and, they cross the street hand in hand.