#Paul is thicc

[susspirria]

People who depict Edward as skinny and people who depict him as chubby are fighting over which is more accurate/better when the real answer is right in front of them and they don't even realize (making him a transmasc with fat ass and titties)

[heartsandbones]

ok but why is art booty poppin !

[waveofahand]

On Paul “going commando”

There are a number of photographs of Paul McCartney that prove not only did the boy like his inseams high and tight but that he also went without drawers quite a lot. Possibly, this is because he wore his pants so tight there was no room for them, but I’ve often thought, well, that’s not terribly sanitary or thoughtful to the wardrobe people. Still. It really does look to me like the only time he dependably wore underwear was when filming movies. Probably was forced to. 

I’m going to share several pics that bear out my thinking but this one first. Because it surprised me. This is 1965, as they were getting into their suits for the Shea Stadium concert. One of the Beatles must held up a camera -- knowing Paul’s proclivities -- and dared him to disrobe for it. Paul seems to dare them right back. “Go ahead, take the pic, I dare ya!” A game of chicken, so to speak.

At first glance, one thinks he’s unzipped and showing off his tighty whitey. But... on closer inspection, one sees that... oh... something has been WHITED OUT in that picture! You can confirm it because part of his middle fingertip is also under the white. 

Just look UNDER the white smears (which are NOT fabric, but drawn in). You can see the human flesh beneath. 

And there you have it. Whoever dared him, got the full frontal treatment. Paul McCartney clearly had no insecurities about his manhood. A few more “commando” shots where we see no indication of a brief line -- or that there was room for underpants: 

The jury is out o this one. There MIGHT be a faint pantyline... maybe.

Jury is also out on this one. I think he’s commando. Thoughts? 

FINALLY! A CLEAR PANTY LINE! And it looks like they needed to add a side panel to fit it! 

Ridiculous, beautiful, nasty commando boy. I know people call him “the most baby of all times” (and I think that’s probably right) but some others call him a “slut” and... well... I’m going to just say he’s a man comfortable in his own skin, probably promiscuous, who liked to get himself teased a little with his own frictions throughout the day.  One more for posterity. Or... posteriority! 

[ohtobemare]

no you don’t understand i ✨need✨ thic val. need him. it’s bad i may not recover.

[insanityisdivine]

My fave Duo 💋🚀

[elafranco2024]

Even so skinny, the boy is curvy. Thicc Paulie and lovely Martha.😺❤️🐶

[cinemaquiles]

CINCO TELEFILMES RAROS DISPONÍVEIS NO YOUTUBE (IDIOMA ORIGINAL) E QUE VALEM A PENA CONFERIR

[alovesongshewrote]

Slightly Stabbed | The Lost Boys x Reader

Plot:  you get a little bit stabbed.  oopsie? [The Lost Boys x GN!Reader]

Word count:  3807

Warnings: first aid, stab wounds, blood, the reader has some issues but it's ok

A/N: this is literally a fanfic in headcanon form, holy fuck.  tumblr almost couldn’t handle this thicc thing

Sooooooo, here’s the thing about dating a group of vampires

They uh

They can smell blood

AND I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE THINKING, BUT WE AREN’T GOING THERE

At least not today

No, today we’re discussing the fun challenge that is Hiding Your Stab Wound From Your Four Boyfriends

(five boyfriends if you want to add michael, and five boyfriends one girlfriend if you want to add star)

Either way

All these bitches can smell your blood, which makes hiding injuries Difficult

It literally doesn’t matter how little blood there is, the second that red shit escapes your flesh prison, they Know

It makes papercuts very difficult, because you’ll be reading, you’ll get the papercut, and then one or more of them will just Appear behind you like

“Hi, could I offer you a band-aid?  Or perhaps you could offer to give me a sip of your blood?”

It’s a fuckin

Process

Also, RIP to you if you ever get scratched in the face by something, because some of these fuckers

(paul and marko)

Will just

Lick your face

They don’t even give any warning, they’ll just lick you

It’s

It’s an experience, to be sure

It’s even more of an experience if you go with the idea that they have forked tongues

But anyway, we aren’t here to talk about little injuries

We’re here to talk about Stab Wounds and How To Hide Them

Short answer: you can’t hide them.

Aaand that’s it, thanks for coming to the TEDTalk everyone, rmr to like and subscribe, blah blah blah

Long answer:

Let’s start with how you got the stab wound

Because that’s very important

Now

There are lots of ways to get stabbed

The boardwalk isn’t the safest place

And i mean, you’ve seen the “people are strange” sequence, there are missing posters fucking everywhere

And yeah, all that murder that could be just the boys, but also

There could be other killers wandering around, you don’t know

There are also vampire hunters

And random delinquents

And people who just

Don’t Like The Boys

And by association, don’t like you

Whatever it is, whoever stabs you

They manage to get you one of the few times you’re on the boardwalk alone

To any passers by, it just looks like a fist fight- probably something that came out of harsh words and youthful anger

But alas, the sharp stinging in your side says something else

Actually, it’s less saying something else, and more screaming it

Nevertheless, you manage to fight off your attacker, and then you’re left standing on the boardwalk, your hands covered in blood as you try to put pressure on your wound

It’s a very strange experience

You’ve got a hole

In your side

You’re leaking blood

And you almost don’t know what to do next

But you know you can’t exactly go home like this, so you end up walking through the crowds on the boardwalk, fighting off shock and trying to ignore the bright lights and joyful screams around you as you try to find a bathroom to clean up in

If anyone notices that you’re hurt, you don’t notice them

Eventually, you find a bathroom, and once inside, you lock the door behind you and take a look in the mirror

As you stare down your reflection, you silently pray that the wound looks worse than it is

In part because it looks really bad

Like, bad enough to freak you out

But you’ve also got your fingers crossed that it looks worse than it is because, uh

If you die alone in a random boardwalk bathroom, David will kill you.  

And yeah, the thought of an angry david sobers you up pretty quickly

You start doing first aid on yourself

You’re no pro, but you do your best with what you have

You clean the excess blood off of your wound with paper towels and tap water

At first you’re so focused on speed that you forget to be gentle

You regret it

But you quickly learn how to get shit done efficiently without needlessly torturing yourself

And thank fucking god, the wound does actually look worse than it is

The stab wound isn’t deep, and it didn’t hit anything important

It’s just gross

Once the bleeding stops, you frantically wash all of the blood off of your skin

And then you realize that you don’t have much to patch yourself up with

You end up using your jacket, which was already stained with your blood beyond repair

You rip it up for bandages, and then you realize that you’re uh

You’re probably going to have to get another shirt

Because yours has Noticeable Bloodstains

And not only will your Vampires notice that

But so will the General Public

So yeah, you buy a dumb t-shirt from the boardwalk

It says, “i survived the murder capital of the world and all i got was this stupid t-shirt”

You find it hilariously ironic that you are using this shirt to hide the fact that you almost didn’t survive the murder capital of the world

Anyway

You yeet your old shirt into a random fire, and then you head on back to the cave, hoping for the best

(hoping for the best here means: hoping that you don’t start bleeding again)

You don’t

And hey, when you get to the cave, it looks like the no one’s home

So that’s another win for you!

You walk on in and let yourself collapse onto one of the couches

And i mean, you instantly regret it, because ow

But it’s nice to feel something soft and comfortable after the time you had

You can’t relax, though

For one thing, every time you close your eyes you’re back there

Either getting stabbed by a stranger on the boardwalk, or shaking in the bathroom trying not to bleed out

You can feel your breath coming faster as the adrenaline in your system fades away and you start to realize that you were just stabbed

Someone pulled a knife on you, and they stabbed you

They could have killed you, you could have died, and you’re lucky you didn’t, but also, you’re not super lucky because you still got stabbed

And you really liked the shirt that you had to burn

And for another thing

There’s a vampire standing in front of you

When you open your eyes it makes you jump and scream a little

Which irritates your stab wound

Which makes you scream more and curl in on yourself

It’s very confusing to poor paul, who was already very confused because he could smell your blood even though none of your vampires bit you that day

Also, it’s not super relevant but you should know: he does kind of look like the “mom i frew up” meme

Or at least he does at first

Because the second you start to curl in on yourself, he is on you

Usually he’d apologize for startling you, but right now?  Right now he can tell something’s up

Your boys might be dumbasses, but they’re more than smart enough to know when something is wrong

So, paul goes all

“Hey pretty thing, are you okay?  What’s wrong?”

And you

You don’t want paul to worry, and you don’t want him to get mad at you for letting yourself get stabbed

And you really don’t want to talk about your stab wound in general

You just want paul to go so that you can have a panic attack over it in peace

But he doesn’t go

So you respond with

“I’m fine!  Totally, totally fine, I just slept on my side weird and it’s bugging me, that’s all”

And y’know what, you’re actually mildly convincing

Too bad he can smell your blood

Thanks to that fun vampiric trait, he knows you aren’t telling him the truth

So, he leans in a little further, eyebrows furrowed, and he says

“You can tell me, baby.  What’s wrong?”

Luckily (depending on who you ask) you don’t have to answer him, because marko drops into the cave

Yeaaaah, you were lucky enough to come home like, two minutes before the boys did

Rip

Anyway, it doesn’t take marko long to notice the scene on the couch

You’re curling up into the armrest and paul is leaning over you

It looks weird

And

You’re clutching your side

And paul looks concerned, so like i said, these boys may have like, three solid brain cells between them (three and a half if you want to count star) but they fucking Know when something’s up

Especially when something’s up with you

So, marko bounces over

And now he’s asking what’s wrong

He leans over the armrest of the couch

So he’s standing like, behind your head

And he asks, “What’s up, hot stuff?”

You lean your head back so you can look at him, you roll your eyes at the pet name, and again you say

“I’m fine.  Paul’s just being a dick”

And paul, who now looks majorly offended, collapses onto the couch by your feet and goes

“I am not!  I’m being a concerned boyfriend, you’re being a dick!”

Paul picked the wrong place to sit, because you kick him in the leg as hard as you can without hurting yourself

It’s not super hard, but paul acts like you stabbed him, ironically enough

While you and marko grin at his dramatics, david and dwayne drop into the cave

And uhhh, they’re much harder to distract, so good luck with that

Literally from the second they get into the cave, they’re both honed in on the smell of your blood

They make their way towards the couch you’re all crowded on, and as they do, david says

And he projects a bit, so the sound echos off the cave walls

“Why do I smell blood?  Paul, Marko, did you start something without us?”

His tone is chiding, maybe a little teasing

But the second he sees their faces, his taunting demeanor drops to something much scarier

Concern

And now david says your name

And his voice gets a little deeper as he asks you why he can smell your blood

As you struggle to come up with an answer, david and dwayne make their way over to the couch

Dwayne, Known Sweet Boy, comes up behind the couch, takes your hand and kisses it

He doesn’t ask you anything, but he also doesn’t let go of your hands

You don’t look at his face

If you look at his face, you know he’s going to look back at you with an expression that is 100% concerned puppy dog, and you will crack like an egg and tell them everything

And then it’ll become a huge deal

And they won’t leave you alone

And you’ll probably cry in front of them

And you’ll make them waste their night taking care of you

And then you’ll get yelled at for being stupid, so no

You do not look at dwayne

Instead, you focus your attention on paul, who’s focusing on david, who’s focusing on you

And for a second, everything is silent

Then david kneels at your side which is fuckin

Rare

He likes to feel tall, kneeling is the Opposite of that

But he does it nonetheless

And he says your name again, and you Don’t Look At Him, you just keep your gaze straight and pretend to be somewhere else

Of course he says your name again, sounding more irritated this time

And he asks

“Why can we smell blood outside of the cave?”

And you relent a bit by answering

“Hey, it’s not like I’ve never bled around you before.  Remember that time I fell?  Or the time I gouged my shin open?  Or the time one of the pigeons bit me?”

Yeahhh, even you know it’s a stupid argument

No matter how much blood you’ve lost around them, you know it doesn’t match this

And marko puts your thoughts to words

He legit says

“Yeah, but it’s never been this bad before, babe.  What’s wrong?”

And after that you’re just

Bombarded with the boys asking some variation of “What’s wrong?” over and over

You cling to dwayne’s hand as their voices start to overwhelm you

But then he pulls away

And you just can’t take it anymore

So you yell

And you don’t mean to yell it, you just want to be heard

“OKAY, OKAY, fine, I’ll tell you”

They shut up, and instantly your voice drops like

A million decibels

As you say

“I… I may have been… lightly stabbed.”

There’s a beat of silence and then

“I’m sorry, you were STABBED?”

Dwayne breaks his silence, looking horrified, which is almost funny, because you know his methods of killing are a little more brutal than “stab the victim with a knife”

But then again, he’s never tried to kill you, so

Anyway, dwayne’s outburst is followed by paul and marko both shrieking some form of “excuse me”

(“I’M SORRY, WHAT?” and an actual, “EXCUSE ME?” respectively)

David is silent now as the other three just

Lose their shit

Paul is demanding to know where the wound is

Marko fucks off to go hunt for first aid supplies, but you can still hear him shouting about it

Dwayne has taken your hand back and he looks into your eyes as he asks

“Who did this to you?”

And quietly, you go

“Some douchebag on the boardwalk- look, guys, I was only lightly stabbed-”

And there’s another outburst

Paul and marko both yell that being “lightly” stabbed still isn’t good

Dwayne looks like he might kill someone or start crying, you aren’t sure which, maybe both

And that’s when david grabs your jaw

He’s surprisingly gentle with you- though, considering the stab wound, maybe that isn’t really a surprise

Either way

David makes you look at him, and he asks you

In a voice he reserves for quiet moments, which this isn’t, and special occasions, which this technically is

“Where’s the wound, baby?”

With a sigh, you tear your eyes from his and gingerly lift up your new shirt to reveal a blood-soaked makeshift bandage, which itself covers the shallow wound in your side

Haha, fuck

You wince at the sight of it

But your boys remain stone faced- if anything, they look angry

Except for paul, who also winces, but in a split second he goes from wincing to pissed like everyone else

And you let out a groan, because this is the one thing you were trying to avoid

Anger and concern

Just as you open your mouth to apologize, marko slams a small box of first aid stuff on the floor by the couch

You move to reach for it, but instantly, several pairs of hands are on you, pushing you (gently) back onto the couch

You

Roll Your Eyes

Fuckin vampires, always treating you like glass

“Hey, I’m not four years old,” you say, trying to sit up again, “I can treat my own stab wound”

Yeah, as you say it you manage to catch just how absurd your words sound

‘I can treat my own stab wound’ who says that?

You do, i guess

And you intend to follow through, but hey

You get pushed back down again

“Stay still, wouldya?  Goddamn,” Marko fuckin growls as he pins your shoulders down, “We’re trying to help you, so stop moving.”

You give a very defiant wiggle.  No one is amused but you.

With an irritated sigh, you resign yourself to staying on the couch

But it doesn’t stop you from trying to get them to leave you alone

“Look, guys, I’m fine.  Don’t you have anything better to do than poke at me?  Seriously-”

“Ha, you’re cute,” the response comes from paul this time

Paul who has, by the way, taken to holding your legs hostage

He continues with a very blunt

“But seriously, shut the fuck up and let us fix this, ‘kay?”

You glare at him, but with your legs and shoulders pinned, it’s not like you have much of a choice

So you just

Lie there

And try to pretend that this whole thing doesn’t make you want to break down crying because fuck, you couldn’t just almost get murdered, you also had to be a burden

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck

As you lie on the couch, the night’s events replay in your head

And as your emotions build, every shitty thing that happened to you that particular week also replay in your head

As marko starts to patch you up, and dwayne takes over pinning your shoulders down, and david starts plotting the murder of whoever did this out loud, you just

Try to stop them from seeing that you are Not Doing Okay

And here comes second, even tougher challenge:

Hiding Your Feelings From Your Four Boyfriends

Yeahhh, you fail at this one, too

Paul notices the tears in your eyes right the fuck away

It helps that he’s looking at your face, and not focusing on the marko medical drama going on at your side

He reaches up towards your face and he just says

In the softest fucking voice

“Hey, what’s wrong baby?”

And you just

Snap

The tears come to the front, just a bit, but it doesn’t stop you from yelling

“Jesus fuck, CAN YOU ALL JUST FUCK OFF SO I CAN CRY ABOUT THIS ALONE?  Go hunt, or something, just- just go away.”

…

They do not just go away

They don’t really know what to do with that

They just know that you’re hurting and it’s bad

And they Don’t want to leave you alone

So instead, paul and dwayne give your leg and shoulder a squeeze, respectively

In like, emotional solidarity

And david leans in towards you so that you can hear him say

“If one of us was stabbed, you would be upset, right?”

You nod and he continues

“So why is it any different for you?  You’ve been stabbed, you’re allowed to have emotions.”

You’re in the middle of processing that when marko

dear marko

Gives your shoulder a very awkward pat and says

“Besides, crying is sexy!”

And he states it so matter-of-factly

And he does it with this little smile, that you’re sure is supposed to be comforting, but oh my god

David smacks him on the back of the head for that while you just

Start to giggle

It’s which devolves to a weird mix of laughter and tears

It’s like

Mostly laughter

Meanwhile, paul just starts to openly mock marko for his, “crying is sexy” comment

And before you know it, your side is properly bandaged up

Yay!

But of course, it isn’t over

Less yay!

You’re finally allowed to sit up, and immediately paul yoinks you into his side

He clings to you a little bit, too, like he’s not sure he’ll get to hold you ever again

And yknow what it makes sense, you’re human, and fleshy, and easily breakable, and you got stabbed

He’s allowed to be freaked out, too.  They all are

Anyway

The second you’re up, david is on his knees in front of you again

His hands are on your thighs, and now it’s his turn to ask

“Now tell us, baby- who did this to you?”

You give them best description you can, and just like that, they’re all headed for the exit

Except for paul, who’s still clinging to you

But before they can leave you call out to them

And you say, “I’m sorry.”

Every single one of them freezes

The next voice you hear is david’s

He asks

“Why would you apologize?”

And you take a second to answer

Because in your head you have several answers for him, but it is

Very difficult to express them out loud

And as you figure out how the fuck you’re gonna verbalize any of your feelings, the boys come right back to you

Marko plops down on your other side, dwayne stands behind you, and again, david is in front of you

But you can really only focus on david, because once again, he’s on his knees with his hands on your thighs, and he’s looking at you with a mix of confusion and sadness that you rarely see on his face

And finally you say:

“I- um.  I’m making all of you worry.  And it was stupid of me to get stabbed in the first place, because I could’ve gotten myself killed, and then I fucking cried everywhere, and-”

And that’s where you get cut off

Because david leans in (and moves his hands up your thighs) and he says

“Now, why would you ever apologize for all of that?”

You look up and meet his eyes as he continues, but he’s turning to look at the boys around you as he says

“I mean, if we apologized for being stupid then Paul and Marko would never stop apologizing- and if we had to apologize for getting stabbed, well-”

Everyone looks at marko

And that little shit just grins like he didn’t almost get murdered by a bunch of teenagers, and he says

“I’m not apologizing for that.”

It’s a little shit thing to say, but david nods and says, “Exactly, so you don’t apologize either.  It’d be stupid to apologize, okay?”

You nod a little bit, and he smiles and says

“That’s it, babe,” he kisses you on the forehead and he stands

“Now if you’ll excuse us, we have to go commit a murder.  We’ll be back, don’t go anywhere.  Paul, you’re good staying?”

Paul promptly buries his face in your shoulder and gives david a thumbs up

Marko stands up, stretches, and starts to bounce away

Dwayne leans down and kisses your temple before he also walks away

Marko then runs back to you to kiss your cheek (he got excited about the oncoming murder)

Aaand that leaves you and paul alone

You turn to face him

(you fail, because he’s not going to move his face from your shoulder until he wants to_

And you ask

“Hey, don’t you want to go do some murder?  Doesn’t murder sound fun?”

And i mean it does

But that’s not the answer you get

The answer you get is a very stressed sounding

“IF YOU PEOPLE KEEP GETTING STABBED, I’M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO MURDER BECAUSE EVERYONE I LOVE WILL BE STABBED.”

Yep, you and marko really did a number on this poor guy

So, that starts challenge three

Not Getting Stabbed For The Mental Health Of Your Four Boyfriends

It’s an easier challenge, you succeed at this one

Idk about marko tho, marko’s probably gonna get stabbed again.  Not necessarily by a person.  Maybe by a fence.

anyway

[walmart-icarus]

Cat Dwayne au

yall-

what if- bear with me- Star accidentally turned Dwayne into a cat

and get this- he liked it??? hcs

hangs around Star a lot

she's gentle

he gets into so many fights with Marko's pigeons oh my god

David actually can pick him up now

and yes,

David abuses the power to no end

his earring is now his little collar

he's able to go into the sun! he enjoys the beach

plays with Laddie a lot

he takes a lot of naps on Paul's laps

cuz those things be thicc

anyways

he also likes to sleep on Marko's jacket

he now has privileges to go anywhere he wants in the cave

very nice very cool

[sketchfanda]

Sketchfan/Sketchfan85/sketchfan-da’s Nice Guys and the ladies who love them.

So as you might have seen thus far,I’ve what you’ve might cal, a personal group of some of the most genuine,nicest guys who I feel deserve a lot more love in terms of smut set and fics. Whether it’s because of heavy main char fixation for power fantasies,or giving more jerky guys focus for some reason,or due to supposed coding or what not,I’ve taken it upon myself to change thst best I can. Chopper from One Piece I’m considering making part of the candidate list,particularly and especially this human version cooked up by @aeolus06​. So naturally he’d be joining my current line up of

Krillin

Kirishima 

And Moxxie. Other possible candidates may include 

Lincoln

peter Parker aka Spider-Man especially as spite towards zeb wells and other writers who’ve been doing him dirty these past decades,because fuck you paul you smug douche who looks like an extra off of the set of a low budget porno,the kind where everyone has to be tested afterwards! including the camera guy! 

And dib from invader zim.Others will come to mind but this bunch is the priority focus and 7 is a lucky number. Fics for them will be mostly and mainly one shots of them with ladies of their respective universes and mostly tend to have an alpha girl of the group (their main wife/girlfriend) and crossover fun abounds here and there. Some like dib or linc I’d need to be creative as the main harems woild also have an emphasis for the number 7. 7 drsgon balls,7 dudes,7 women   And don’t get me started in what’s come to mind with crossover candidates XD. Main Harem rosters as follows

Krillin: android 18 (alpha wife/pimp)

android 21

kale Caulifla (Kefla as a bonus)

Erasa

Zangya 

Maron (switch outs for maron and zangya are acceptable with candidates like fem goku fem beerus or tournament of power female contestants)

kirishima: Mina ashido(alpha girlfriend)

Tooru Hagakure

Tsuyu Asui

Nemuri Kayama aka ms midnight

Setsuna tokage

Yaomomo

Jirou Kyouka (alternative switch outs include kinoko,pony and reiko from class B,tatami,mirko(though I like pairing her with fatgum mainly),mitsuki,camie, mt lady,Melissa the main 3 tend to be Mina tooru and midnight) (also acceptable are female versions of Izuku,bakugo,todoroki…)

Moxxie: Millie (alpha wife)

mayberry

 verosika (bonus with some of her posse of course,milky is a personal fave and can help fill in the numbers)

Loona

Stella or Octavia

Tony Tony chopper; nami nico Robin and vivi

Yamato

Carrot

Domino

Milky (acceptable switch outs include fem luffy,Hancock,nojiko,Wanda..)

[hillsofuhhtennessee]

I really can’t get into avatar Demon/Gene because everything about it was aggressively made to not appeal to me. Gave him the laughably inaccurate broad shoulders and smaller waist, no thicc thighs, strategically covered both the tits and tummy (unlike…. the majority of his damn stage costumes)

lol I wouldn’t have a problem if they just made him a block or noodle but he looks so stupid and unrealistic vs the vaguely true to life builds/costumes for other members. His whole appeal to me is him desperately trying to look like a leather daddy when he’s got about the least manly build you can have but it weirdly works. It’s the perfect complement to Paul “the world’s furriest femboy” Stanley. But I’m an edgelord who likes to go against type as hard as possible and it’s just such a generic design that has none of the interesting qualities of the original

[ellethespaceunicorn]

Writing Pattern Tag Game

Thank you for the tag, @deandoesthingstome, this is either gonna be fun or horrible. I can't wait.

Rules: Share the first line of your last ten published works, or as many as you are able, and see if there are any patterns!

Let's cover a series and see what's what. I chose to peek into my series, The Howling in Claw Creek Forest. Which as some of you may know, I refer to as THiCC.

Prologue: The Legend of the Claw Creek Creature :

“Grandpa, I wanna hear the story again, please!” You bounded over to your grandfather, your pigtails flopped on your shoulders when you landed in his lap as he sat in his favorite armchair. 

Chapter One: Hide and Seek:

“C’mon, girl. You need to get out of the house for more than just work and the coffee shop. Look, we’ll even stay in town. Just please don’t make me stay in and watch The Great British Bake Off again. Paul Hollywood’s eyes still haunt my dreams.” Your best friend drapes herself against the couch in a dramatic show of boredom. 

Chapter Two: The Cabin in the Woods:

When you arrived at the hospital, you had another nurse and colleague check out your head injury on your next shift. Armed with a clean bill of health and a brain bursting with unanswered questions, you try to go about your day. 

Chapter Three: The Wolf In My Living Room:

You wake to the sounds of the forest coming to life. The leaves in the trees rustling in the morning wind, birdsong as they wake and communicate to each other, and the soft rumbling of snores over your shoulder. 

Chapter Four: Unbridled Instincts:

At first, it’s the temperature. The fever from a fast-healing wound. Plus the warmth from being near a potential mate. He sheds his clothing during the night. Eventually, he has to remove his boxer briefs, as the material is just too tight on his sweat-soaked skin.

Chapter Five: A Biting Truth:

The tension in your muscles wakes you up. You had quite a night but you weren’t exactly upset about it. Stretching out your arms, you reach over to find the space next to you is empty and cold.

It seems that I like to drop the Reader right into the thick of it in the first paragraph. I mean, I really do like doing that. Just plop you in 19 minutes after the title screen, and you're like, 'ok what type of movie introduces their protagonist halfway through the exposition'.

That would be me!!

Ok, this turned out to be super fun and I want to see who else wants a go at it!! No pressure tags: @peyton-warren @geralts-yenn @raccoon-eyed-rebel @gummydummy19

[charlixcxashtray]

frack paul needs to release the thicc & stick asmr lover NEOW!!!!! let me stream MHYIA MHYIA (the name they scream when they see me flippin)

so 305! so dade county!

[kapitein-oranghien-29]

*gives each of your big thicc daddy oc's a flower bouquet of their choosing* who chooses what flowers?

Oef that's a huge list I'd have to go down... sorry to be shutting you down lovely, but that's some big work. But my favourite is the poppy and any fern species? (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) but I guess if its offaly a dad that leaves Bill, Leo, big daddy, Paul, porq, rossco and as a bonus pepin then some day. So pick and toss some decapitated flora at them XP

[monstermaster13]

Susan’s New Groove.

NOTE: This is a Susan’s Plan fic that is also a homage to The Emperor’s New Groove and is a ftm Were-aykroyd tf fic.

You see that Were-Aykroyd over there, well that Were-Aykroyd used to be someone and just not any old someone but Susan Holland. But before we get to that you must know what happening that got her in this predicament…Susan wanted to get revenge on her ex-husband Paul all those years ago but all her attempts to do so had failed, and now Paul had heard of this, he was steaming mad in fact he was furious and he wanted to get back at her. ‘Susan has gone too far this time.’ ‘I know Paul but what can we do? Unless we can think of a brilliant plan to get rid of her or something.’ Betty quipped as she thought about what they could do to get back at Susan.

“Do you think we could team up to get rid of her?”

“Yes…do you want to?”

“Maybe we could…to the secret lab, pull the lever, Sam!’ Betty quipped as Sam pulled a lever, which accidentally knocked her through a trapdoor. ‘Wrong lever!’ ‘Sorry. Is this the one?’ he pulled the right lever this time which activated a rollercoaster of sorts, which took them underground and into Betty’s secret lab along with Paul. ‘Ah ha, perfect. Now that we’re here we can work on the plan.’

“Any ideas?”

‘Well we could use one of these…we could turn her into a flea, a harmless little flea. Then we put the flea in a box and put the box in another box and that box in another box, and then I’ll mail it to myself and when it arrives i’ll smash it with a hammer. It’s brilliant, brilliant, brilliant.’ ‘Hmmm..sounds complicated.’ ‘Or to save on postage, i’ll just poison her with this.’ She laughed wickedly to herself as she explained her plan to Paul and Sam.

“Alright, if you insist…”

“Yes, Sam..call Susan over please.”

Sam got his phone out and called Susan over for dinner later that evening, Paul served the food and set it all up and when Susan sat down she decided to try some of the food. ‘Mmm…you’ve outdone yourself, Paul. I must say you’re really good at cooking.’ ‘Thanks.’ ‘So i’d just like to say i’m sorry for trying to have you killed previously, I just wanted your insurance money, that’s all and I hope you’re not mad.’ ‘Me? No. I never could be mad at you.’ She smiled as she tried some of the main course.

‘Pst…Sam, do you have the poison?’ ‘Which one is it?’ ‘The one that I picked out.’ ‘Oh, right, the poison, the poison for Susan. The poison that is made specifically to kill Susan, Susan’s poison…that poison?’ ‘Yes, that poison.’ ‘Gotcha covered.’ Sam handed the bottle of ‘poison’ to Betty who poured it in a bottle and gave the bottle to Susan. ‘Here you go Susan…here’s to everything you did.’ ‘To everything.’

Susan picked up the drink and started drinking from it, and her stomach gurgled a little bit before she collapsed. ‘Yes, we did it!’ ‘She’s dead?’ It looked like the dastardly duo were about to celebrate when Susan woke back up, she looked over at her arms and to her horror she saw them broaden and grow as some brownish hairs developed on them. ‘Sam, Paul…Betty, what’s happening? I don’t feel so good. And look at my arms. I’m going to need to shave these later.’

“Huh…Sam? This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“Oh my…uhh…”

Betty looked over at Susan and then back at Sam who was blushing out of embarrassment, Sam knew he had made a mistake. Susan looked at her hands as they enlarged, and then gasped as the buttons on her top began to pop off one by one, while her torso and chest broadened and also developed a small selection of brownish hairs on them. She gasped as her breasts retracted and her stomach grew and developed some hairs on it, her skin matured and in the process her back and shoulders broadened, making her look a bit larger than she was prior. ‘What’s going on? Sam? Paul? Betty?’ ‘Oh dear…this may not be a good time to say this to you, but…’

Susan screamed as her hips retracted, her rear plumped up, making her look like she was quite thicc as her privates altered into the more masculine variant. Her jeans didn’t rip entirely, but did grow to fit her body as her legs altered while her feet grew in size, two of the toes on them sticking together at the knuckle to give her the appearance of having webbed toes. She slowly shot up in height from her normal height to 6’1, her reddish hair darkening and turning a dark brown color while her brow and forehead altered, her eyebrows thickened as her eyes widened, one remaining brown while the other turned green.

In addition to this her nose broadened and developed a cleft in the middle as her features plumped up and slowly contorted into a face that was identical to Bob’s, i.e very Aykroydian, as she gained a tear shaped tattoo like Bob’s. She looked exactly like Bob and had a build just like his now, her voice deepened and altered, altering and giving her some rather Aykroydian traits as it became a male voice. She panicked for a little and then looked at herself in the mirror, she had become a Were-Aykroyd.

“Uhhh..Sam, why does Susan look like Bob?”

“I’m going to tell you this now, Betty. You won’t like this.”

‘I won’t like what?’ ‘This…she’s a Were-Aykroyd now.’ ‘A Were-Aykroyd? She’s supposed to be dead!’ ‘Yeah, weird.’ ‘Let me see that potion for a minute…this isn’t poison.’ ‘It’s not poison?’ ‘No…this is extract of Dan Aykroyd!’ ‘In my defense all the potions look similar, you should consider relabelling them.’

Susan looked at herself or rather himself…’Oh my god I look like Bob.’ ‘I’m sorry about that, please don’t kill us.’ At first she was horrified but then she realized he liked being a Were-Aykroyd, chuckling to herself…he was still Susan mentally and it was obvious he didn’t take on Dan Aykroyd’s identity, because she was definitely Aykroydian while being himself, so best of both worlds. ‘I won’t do that, you know you were right, I was kind of horrible towards Paul, Paul…I am sincerely sorry.’ ‘Apology accepted.’

“So what do we do now? Do we turn Susan back to normal or leave her like this?”

“Leave her like this.”

‘I am with you on that.’ Susan nodded as he examined himself, he did feel pretty sexy like this and he agreed that he wanted to stay as a Were-Aykroyd, he liked this new form and definitely thought he and Bob could be best friends, and thus with that Sam, Betty and Paul decided to leave him like that as opposed to changing him back to normal, after all Sam liked him better that way and he wasn’t likely going to change his mind at any times.

And thus we also come to where you came in, so you see…that Were-Aykroyd was Susan Holland, but now he’s much better off than how he was initially, and he turned out extremely good looking and popular with the ladies and also with some of the boys. Sometimes, revenge really CAN pay off.

[waveofahand]

Do up your pants proper, lad...

It’s remarkable how often Paul McCartney seemed to have trouble getting himself all the way buttoned or zipped... Or, perhaps, you know... it’s all because he’s a bit thicc back there!

(I know there are other pics like this out there, especially with the top button undone. Add ‘em if you have ‘em!)

T’was a problem popped up early and often! 

Okay, so...maybe I really like the tight jeans.