#Partially satire
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newwavesylviaplath · 2 months ago
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things i want: double finger cross ring (silver cuz it looks cooler even though i only wear gold) #2014tumblr, new clothes (lots of them), new lipgloss, evil eye necklace, uggs with bows on them, a new phone tbh, the sofia coppola archive, nicer friends, the lana del rey pill case, the lana del rey lighter, novelty lighters, another pack of cigarettes, nancy sinatra fan club pin, hair dye that actually works on my hair, princess diana memorabilia, chicken and pesto pasta, stevie nicks barbie doll, lolitaland perfume, a cute haircut, a new case for my airpods (more of a need than a want), an iced matcha latte, straight A's, a plethora of cutesie rings, more clothes, to be noticed by vincent gallo on instagram, new set of nails, new disposition (a sunnier one), to get a candy gram delivered to me, to be a popular writer on substack or a micro celebrity of some sort, a cuter instagram grid, maybe a boyfriend, to have my ex talking stage crawling back crying and begging for me to take him back and being a pathetic loser so i can kick him while he's down (but let's be honest, i'd probably end up taking him back), did i mention more clothes??, more bubble-mint gum, hair gloss
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levitheeldritch · 6 months ago
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In my experience in the Undertale community, you can generally tell what kind of person someone is by how they draw frisk
As in, whether they're a pedo or not.
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griffithrex · 2 months ago
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I just went through the most awful, traumatic moment of sickness in my entire life. Whatever forces govern this world has me wake up some time around 4 AM, doing my best not to throw up all over my floor. Then, as I make it to the sanctuary of the bathroom, hell becomes unleashed. I will spare the details, but understand it was an under my stream of disgust and pain.
I screamed for nigh half of a 2 hour period, it hurt so much I had hallucinations as it occurred. And at the end, I managed to live, and get some medicine in me that actually stayed down long enough to work.
I know not what forces have worked to cause such anguish, nor what sick god tried to jump me in my sleep. But they made a mistake in allowing me to live. They shall not live long enough to make such a mistake again.
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ramgodd · 1 year ago
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i looove sitting in my car on my lunch. i love peace and quiet and separating myself from my workplace for 30 minutes. I love physically not being present so i cannot be asked to work on my one (count em, one, uno, singular) break. i may seem like a cruel loner but actually my car is a safe haven against the evils of customer service. also separating my workplace and the place where i chill is fundamentally a good idea
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winterxgardener · 9 months ago
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Courtney: (Introducing their team)
Shayne:
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He was not even trying to hide it 🤣
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mako-enthusiast · 2 months ago
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I JUST WANT HIM TO FUCK ME IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR!!!!!
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colum1nd · 11 days ago
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I love losers. If you have a good job and a partner and do well in school I will NOT fw you 💔
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evilrwbyfan · 9 months ago
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pomnori as that one scene in love thy neighbor
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2econd2ight2yd · 5 months ago
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i’m having a bit of trouble. i’ve identified as asexual for years now but every time i see this bot in roblox locofficial i get extremely horny
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i know that it doesn’t count with fictional character but genuinely if he was real i would beg him to fuck me can somebody help
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lunarw0rks · 10 months ago
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oh you KNOW I'm any roommate situation you are the only one who cleans. especially if you are a late addition to the living situation. you move in and clean the bathroom for the first time since the 141 has moved in and they're all BLOWN AWAY.
i mean, realistically, they’d all be very clean (military regulations and it’s just in their blood at that point—plus they’re rarely home)
BUT. we need to remember. they are men, they are GROSS!!!! sure, they know how to clean up crumbs or wipe down a surface. BUT THEY DONT DUST FOR SHIT. THEY WONT SCRUB THE BASEBOARDS. PROBABLY DONT EVEN HAVE FUCKING SHOWER CURTAINS. AND THE LINEN CLOSET IS ALWAYS EMPTY. YOU GO TO TAKE A SHOWER AND ITS JUST A HANDTOWEL.
I WOULD KILL THEM WITHIN TWO WEEKS
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ganjamonster11 · 3 months ago
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Hey wow A dollar just appeared in my hand and it’s a real one too How Convenient and awesome
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sparkles-oflight · 1 year ago
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TOP 10 NITPICKS I HAVE WITH JO
Number 1:
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RUNNING WITH YOUR HANDS IN YOUR FUCKING POCKET
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johhnymac · 1 year ago
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I don’t want to be read for filth when he flops but I really feel like Cory might be the closest to Dan we get in modern BB - he’s throwing comps, he’s playing up the goofy younger boy card, he’s got a solid social game and read on the house, he’s got one of the pretty girls attached to him (I.e., Keesha), and of course he’s wearing the bandana. I rest my case. 🤷🏼‍♀️
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sovereign-skyy · 1 year ago
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Some of y'all really need to learn how not to be condescending on the internet, it seems like every day I see multiple posts that start with "some of y'all really need to X" or something and I immediately don't want to listen because you disrespected me first thing and I don't like that
And of course, it's entirely possible that it wasn't disrespectful at all. But I've found that a hostile attitude immediately makes people less inclined to learn, or change
this is a single sided view on the topic, some (perhaps many) posts like that are meant to vent frustration more than educate, but, while that's respectable, it still has the same effect
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septembersghost · 2 years ago
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Do you think Jack was lying today
about this?
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no. i don't think she ever really expects a hit, but especially not here. it's a weird, dark, somewhat unpleasant little song about extreme self-loathing and her intrusive thoughts. the chorus being instantly memeable is kind of a side effect, albeit perhaps an intended one (it was engineered that way and there's a cynicism built into that imo, that's the armor around the prickly heart of the song), but i don't think they anticipated it being as huge as it is.
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totally-not-fandom · 6 months ago
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Listen, guys, if I'm gonna go on this fandom revival adventure with you all, I have to be honest about something:
I have never watched past the end of season 4 of DC's Legends of Tomorrow and I have no intention to...
That is my truth and I hope you can all still accept me as an Interim Legend.
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