#Parenting education and abuse prevention

[fosteringinsc]

Breaking the Cycle of Abuse: Understanding and Preventing the Cycle

Breaking the Cycle of Abuse: Understanding and Preventing the Cycle. The cycle of abuse is a devastating pattern that perpetuates harmful behaviors across generations. It involves a recurring cycle of abuse where individuals who have experienced abuse as children may become abusers themselves as adults. In this blog post, we will delve into the concept of the cycle of abuse, its effects, and…

[iridescentalchemyst]

Halloween 2024: Five Years of Pumpkins Part TWO

Five Years. It’s coming up on the five year anniversary since I said goodbye to my children. It’s hard to believe. It doesn’t seem right, and I’ve had to count the years out on my fingers several times. 2020. 2021. 2022. 2023… 2024. I have reflected on years past in previous posts, so if you are just tuning in, the links above will get you all caught up. This article will be long enough,…

[superdillin]

It is Armenian Genocide Remembrance Day

And I have some big feelings, as a part of the diaspora. Remembrance Day is an inappropriate title for a time in which Armenians still face genocidal forces. Just last year, Azerbaijan, armed by Turkey, ethnically cleansed over 280,000 Armenians from Artsakh. The illegal colonizer state of Israel, currently in the midst of their 6+ month-long genocide against the Palestinians, has placed the Armenians who call Jerusalem home under threat and siege.

The Armenian struggle and the Palestinian struggle are deeply linked.

In his rise to power, Hitler is quoted to justify his actions against the Jewish, Roma, Queer, Disabled, and other victims of the Holocaust, to say "Who, after all, speaks today of the annihilation of the Armenians?"

Echoing these chilling words, Palestinian poet Najwan Darwish wrote:

Who Remembers the Armenians? I remember them and I ride the nightmare bus with them each night and my coffee, this morning I'm drinking it with them You, murderer - Who remembers you?

The trauma sustained during a genocide is not limited to the people experiencing it right now. The echoes of that trauma leak forward into the next generations, passed down through survival, and that is so insidious. My grandmother got to live, but did so believing that her parents did not love her, because the trauma they endured prevented them from expressing it. Abuse and unhealthy attachment were passed down because that starving hunger for love and acceptance was passed down. It is so deeply cruel and unfair that our oppressors get to reach through time and hurt our children's children.

We need to band together and stop the present-day abusers, the genocidal monsters that oppress the people of Palestine, Armenia, Congo, and so many others.

We need to uplift art made by those who survived, and by those who are surviving. Art is always targeted by the oppressor to erase cultural identity, to destroy legacy, and to break spirits. Support Palestinian and Armenian poets, and artists, and writers.

If you are one of the many who never learned about the Armenian Genocide, learn today. Ask yourself why people worked so hard not to educate you on this piece of history.

[ghostedgrim]

Too Blunt?

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Synopsis: After getting Dauntless on her aptitude test, a girl happily takes the opportunity to escape her suffocating life as the "perfect" daughter of a Candor lawyer and leader. (Snarky ex rich Candor girl x Four)

Warnings: Implied abuse, death, father speaks hurtful words to his daughter on visiting day.

Today is the most important day of my life, and to no one's suprise my parents demand I look my utter best, and of course, wear a dress. Personally, I think a dress is probably the worst thing to wear for what I have planned, but I guess I'll make do.

I grab a long bodycon dress. It's black, the fabric thin and breathable with a square neckline and a hem that reaches my mid shin, along with a slit trailing up to my mid thigh. Black because my parents will likely view me as dead after today, I'll be dead to them for my betrayal. Also I don't want anyone at my new faction to see my sweat. I pair my dress with black square-toe flats, then for the final touch pulled on a short white jacket with black accents.

I can not wait to leave.

Yes, the luxury of rich parents is nice, we have a penthouse, nice view, parties, but trust me, this grass is only spray painted green. My mother is a part of the Candor Council and my father a lawyer. They know how people work and what makes them tick. They know how to tell a truth with multiple meanings.

If asked what faction they hope I join, they reply, "I believe and hope she will choose the proper faction for her." Everyone thinks they're supportive of any future I take, but they're not. To them Candor is the perfect faction for me because Candor is perfection, Erudite is proper and still a good option because they work with math and science which goes perfectly hand in hand with truth, Amity and Abnegation are strange but a peaceful option, Dauntless... well, they hate Dauntless. To them, Dauntless are chaotic ruffians with hardly no law or education. This is somewhat true because many choose to ignore and even skip classes while young.

After breakfast, I meet my parents beside their car, it's sleek and white with a black trim. We exchange brief conversation, mom and dad prattle on about how Candor and Erudite are such perfect factions for me and how they believe I'll make the proper choice for myself and them. And I'm all too happy to leave the car once we arrive at The Hub. The tallest building in the city, and I'm quite thankful we arrived early because that means the elevators aren't as full. Unfortunately, that means I must also converse a bunch before the ceremony.

"Mother, I feel stressed about today, may I sit down instead of talking to everyone," I ask calmy.

"No, now go speak with Ms. Matthew and the other Erudites. If you're planning to transfer out of Candor, It's best you make a good relationship before joining them," my mother orders, her eyes feel like steel coiling around my throat, preventing me from giving any form of retort.

It feels like days have past, but really it was only an hour before Johanna makes her speech and began the ceremony. Johanna is the leader of Amity. With every name she calls, my heart seems to beat faster and faster as she gets closer to my name.

"... Verity." I stand and walk to the center stage. Each movement is controlled, perfect, exactly the way my parents want it to be. Candor is the perfect option, Erudite is the proper choice... I'm tired of it.

Just because you can only speak truth doesn't mean you can't manipulate. That's the issue with my faction, everyone here thinks their perfect and even pure simply because they don't lie. They're convinced that by eliminating lies they have eliminated evil.

But truth does not eliminate evil, a pacifist cannot do anything to stop evil when it steps on their door, being smart simply works as a gun for good and evil to wield. Brains, truth, pacifism, none of that eradicates evil, nor does it stop it from forming...

I cut my palm letting my blood sizzle onto the hot coals below.

But a good punch can certainly make it fuck off for a bit.

Thank God I wore this dress, otherwise I would've never been able to run and jump onto the train. The sound of the running train deafens the sound of people talking around me. It was so loud that I almost didn't hear the warning about us jumping off. I don't pay much attention to Dauntless. All my life, I've tried to avoid them and their chaos, but even I knew they don't wait for trains to stop before jumping.

"Where are we jumping!" I yell, but no one answered. I lean my head out the door and to my shock, "Are they trying to kill us!?"

I'm supposed to jump off a moving train onto a damn building! What the actual fuck?

"Scared princess?" I turn to see an Erudite boy with blonde hair and blue eyes, height wise, I can only reach his shoulder. He moves to stand behind me, "Need me to give you a push."

I promptly stomp my heel on the toe of his shoe and backed away from the door, "Hard pass prince charming." The boy glares at me before returning his attention to the door. When it comes time to jump, he turns around to flash me a smile. I smiled back, then ran forward as fast as I could and jumped off the train.

Time slowed, initiates seemed to float in the air beside me, all wearing colors of black, blue, and white, I made the mistake of looking down and my body filled with cold terror. What if I don't make it. The ledge is getting closer and closer, fuck. Did I jump too early?

SMACK!

I slip on the gravel as I land, I slide down hard onto the right side of my body, no doubt covering my right forearm and lower legs in scratches, my teeth smack together as my jaw rams into the ground. "Fuck..."

"Agreed," someone groans out beside me, and I turn to see the Erudite boy from earlier sprawled out on his back. Two screams burst out behind us, and I jump up and turn to see several people crowd around the ledge. "Don't look."

"Don't tell me what to do," I snapped at the boy and watched as an Amity boy was hauled onto the roof. I peer over the ledge, someone's hand grabs my wrist and hauls me back. Unfortunately, it was not fast enough to see the dead person who failed to make it onto the roof. I press my hands to my face, trying to calm my breathing. Someone hugs me from the side, their hand rubbing my shoulder.

"Alright listen up!" I pull away from the person, only giving a quick enough glance to see they're a Dauntless born. I then look to the person speaking. "I'm Eric, I am one of your leaders. If you want to enter Dauntless, this is the way in. He stands atop the roof ledge. He wears all black, vest, shirt, pants, two peircings above his left brow and one per ear, his hair cropped at the sides and slicked back. "And if you don't have the guts to jump... then you don't belong in Dauntless. Someone's gotta be first. Who's it gonna be." The man jumps down from the ledge, watching us with a critical eye.

"So what, we jump on a moving train, jump off a moving train onto a rooftop, and now you want us to jump off the roof?" I scoff, and cross my arms.

Eric smirks, "thanks for volunteering." He swings his arm out, inviting me forward and as much as I want to back down Eric's body language, especially his eyes, warn me that backing down like a coward is definitely not the safest of my options. So I mutter a curse under my breath and walk forward.

With shaking hands I climb onto the ledge. If there's one thing I know, the longer you wait the more the anxiety builds. So with my back to the small crowd, I cast them a glace over my shoulder before looking down at the gaping hole before me and jumped.

A scream tore through my lips as I plummeted. For a moment I thought I might die, that Eric would use me as an example of what not to do as a Dauntless initiate. I would be remembered as the dumb initiate that jumped because she was told too.

I pass through the lip of the hole and to my supries saw dim lights. I had barely any time to think on it before I slammed into a net and bounced several times. And once the bouncing stopped, I lay there, trying to gather my senses. My ears pick up joyus whoops and hollers, then hands appear. They wrap around my arms and drag me from the net. I find myself standing before a tall man, brown hair, brown eyes, a shadow of hair across his jaw, and defined facial features.

"You alright," his voice is deep, with a hint of a rumble, "Did you get pushed."

I scoffed, "No, I jumped. Somewhat unwillingly. Tell the Eric guy he's a dickbag for me."

"Straight to the point I see, then again you're from Candor. If I were you, I'd be more careful about the way you speak about your superiors," he warns, then lets go of my arm. "You got a name?"

"Obviously, I have a name, it's ... Verity." The man nods, announcing my name and that I'm the first jumper before telling me to stand by the wall. A few moments later the Erudite boy falls.

"Damien! Second jumper!" The man announces. More cheers and Damien jobs over to me with a blinding smile.

"Only fair the prince follows the princess so she isn't alone," Damien teases.

"So what prince are you? Brother, or wannabe lover?" I deadpan.

Damien clicks his tongue, "I'm gay so obviously, brotherly."

"If you ever try or even joke about pushing me off a moving train, I will kill you."

"That's fair," Damien shrugs.

We remain standing side-by-side as the remainder of initiates jump. About 23 total, 11 transfer, and 12 Dauntless born. The twelve Daniel born are taken away by a woman instructor whom I've already forgotten the name of, while the brown hair guy calls the rest of us over to him.

"My name is Four," he announces, and I stifle a chuckle that makes Damien roll his eyes, "Mind telling me what's so funny?"

"Of all the names a man could choose, and you name yourself Four. Are there people named One, Two, and Three running around that you call siblings?" I grin, and Damien mutters something under his breath.

Four stalks forward, the initiates around me back away giving him space, bringing his face close to mine he speaks, "If you plan to survive here, then keep your mouth shut. Don't make me warn you again." Four's voice came out like a deep rumble, and I couldn't tell if I was scared or really attracted to it.

When Four walks away, Damien elbows me in the side, "Ow."

"Do you have a death wish?" He half-whispers.

I shrug and turn my attention to Four as he gives us a tour of Dauntless, pointing out the chasm, hub, cafeteria, and the dorms. I grimace at the sight of the hideous concrete room, metal cots, communal bathroom, at least the showers and bathrooms had a private stall for each one. If I'm lucky, I can snag a stall to change in during morning and night.

Four notices my obvious look of disgus. "Too much for you, princess? I thought you enjoyed luxurious suites like this room?" He mocks, and I resist the urge to punch his gut.

"It's quite lovely actually," I bite back, "in fact, it quite matches your sparkling personality."

Four goes to retort but is interrupted by a boy Candor transfer, "When do you get our uniforms?"

"You don't," Four replies, "depending on your rank, and skill shown throughout training you will earn points that you can exchange for clothes, body modifications, makeup, and whatever the hell else you want to spend it on. Now go pick a bunk and come to the cafeteria for dinner," Four orders.

Watching Four go over various kicks, punches, blocks, and forms is starting to make me wish I went against my parents demands and wore pants. Earlier this morning Eric had informed us the lowest five preforming inmates get kicked. I had almost spoke up against that rule, but thought better of it knowing Eric was a leader, he could probably kick me out for just looking at him wrong. It's a stupid rule, especially because as far as I'm aware Dauntless doesn't have any overpopulation issues.

Four finally dismisses us to the punching bags, and my legs protest every step. He and Eric took us on a quarter mile run. I barely survived. Next week it'll be half a mile. I definitely won't survive that.

Once at my bag I move into a fighting stance, feet spread, from foot pointed at the bag, back foot planted on the ground perpendicular to the front foot. My hits are weak, my form certainly not the best. Right now I want nothing more than a hot shower and my b-

"With a form like that you won't survive the matches starting tomorrow," a low voice speaks behind me. I turn to see Four, his gaze critiquing my posture, his arms crossed.

"What's it to you?" I snap.

Four rolls his shoulders then reaches out to shrink my too-wide stance, bring my fist closer to my jaw. "There. Unless you want to get hit, keep your fists up so you can block your sides and head with your forearms. Also don't make your stance so wide, not only do you look stupid, it makes moving and kicking alot harder." Four pulls away and moves to stand beside me, "As for why I care. I'm your instructor, it's my job to prevent as much of you from failing as possible. Now hit the bag is if it's someone you hate."

"So pretend I'm hitting you. Got it," I quip. Four only offers a few critiques and tips before walking away. I try to focus, but honestly my mind seems more focused on what Four's hands on my hips and the feeling of him standing so close behind me that I could feel his breath practically caress my neck.

"Careful," and my knees nearly go weak from the way the word rolled off his tongue like a soft rumble.

Over the course of the month, I grew stronger, my stamina longer, my muscles more prominent too. While I was certainly not the most skilled at fighting, the wit of my tonge remained strong. I used the points I earned to buy myself more comfortable clothes; boots, pants, shirts, I even gave myself the tattoo of the Candor symbol, encased in flames. I was even contemplating getting peircings, but I couldn't tell if I wanted them out of a wish to rebel against the way I was raised or because I actually wanted one.

Tonight was the night before visiting day. Last week had marked the end of our first part of initiation, and I dread thinking of what will happen next week.

Damien was standing in front of his bunk, ranting about how he's excited to see his sister. I watch him from my perch in his bunk. Over the past month, he'd gone from scrawny to quite musclar. It was almost scary to think about the sheer change. Snakebite peircings and blonde hair now green, Damien was certainly embracing the punk side of Dauntless.

We've both grown quite a bit since the Choosing Ceremony, the same way my crush on Four has only worsened.

Training, walking around Dauntless, cafeteria, I often try to find Four somewhere in the crowd. Most times, he's already staring at me. I shiver.

"You alright."

I break from my thoughts to see Damien squatting down in front of me. "I'm fine," I have to force the lie out. I've gotten better at lying, but it's nearly impossible to do it to the people I'm close to.

Damien shakes his head, and moves to sit on his cot beside me. "You're an awful liar."

"Yeah! I'm well aware!" A few other initiates turn to us at my outburst. Perhaps my feelings for Four weren't my only concern. "What if my parents actually come tomorrow? I hate them, but I'm so scared to see that inevitable look of disappointment." I slump against Damien's should, and he wraps an arm around me.

"Faction before blood. Dauntless is your faction, Dauntless is your family, you are my sister, and I am proud of you. Your parents are merely the people that made you and raised you. Unfortunately, they chose to turn you into a miniature of them and force away the true you. Whatever happens, your true family is here, and I will punch your parents for you if you need."

"Thanks..." I reply, and Damien rests his chin on my head.

Silence settles around us, a comfortable one that helps me relax a bit. "I asked Aaron out," Damien suddenly blurts out.

I pull away, turning to face him, "Ex Candor Aaron!" But Damien shakes his head, his grin bright.

"Nope! The Dauntless born Aaron. Black hair, chiseled face."

My mouth drops open in suprise, "I thought he was homophonic?"

Damien's grin turns almost feral, "Was. But then he lost a bet, we kissed, he liked it," Damien's hands move dramatically to emphasize each word, "he wanted to experiment, and let's just say I preformed real good."

"Gross. There's no way you're telling the truth."

"I am," Damien lounges back against his pillow.

"In that case, I guess I'll need to get some tips from you about winning over my crush sometime."

Damien sits up faster than I can blink, "who is it?"

"Not telling," I sing, and Damien pouts. "See ya tomorrow." I wave and walk over to my cot.

A permanent frown is etched into my face as I watch families mingle down in the pit. I already spotted my parents looking for me earlier, but I made no move to join them.

Someone walks up beside me but I say nothing.

"Wow. No snarky comment, sneer, or anything. Are you okay?" I'm surprised to hear Four sounds actually sincere.

"I'm fine-"

"No, you're not. You can talk to me about it," Four offers.

"As if you know anything about shitty parents," I sneer.

Four's gaze darkend, locking his jaw and I realize I hit a nerve, fuck. "Trust me, I do know." Four then quickly walks off.

Eventually, Damien hunts me down and drags me from my beloved hiding spot to meet his sister, but we get intercepted.

"I see you've enjoyed it here," I tense and turn to face my father, who is flanked by my mother. "Your friend is... interesting."

I cross my arms and glare at them. "I'm surprised you came."

"Yes, well," my mother starts, "while you may have joined a faction far beneath us, I must admit I was curious to see just how much you let yourself go. And it seems you've lost all sense of acting a proper lady." All sense of confidence seeps from my body as my mother scolds my appearance with her eyes.

Damien finally speaks up, "How dare you speak to her that way!"

My mother shrugs, "I'm simply speaking the truth. Tell your boyfriend to cool it."

"I have a boyfriend," Damien growls.

A look of utter disgust appears on my father's face, and before I can speak, he drags me away. I tried to grab onto Damien, but we'd already lost him in the crowd.

"Had I known you've fallen so far, I would've ordered someone to make you Factionless," my father snarls.

"What's so wrong about -"

"Do not interrupt me," just by an order from my father, I go stiff and silent. Just how I was before leaving Candor. Docile, pretty, soft.

"First, you betray us by joining Dauntless off all factions. I might've forgiven you if it was Amity of Abnegation, but you join Dauntless. Now you've cut your hair all short," I touch my hair, I had forgotten I cut it after too many initiates kept pulling it during sparring matches. "Look at your clothes, they're hideous, and with that cropped tank top, you look like a sl-"

"That's enough," someone growls beside me. My gaze snaps to Four as he pulls me closer to him. "Get out before I remove you both by force." My father goes to argue, but Four punches him in the face before he can finish.

I remain silent and unwilling to fight back as Four guides me through the halls, and he doesn't stop until he's confident we're alone.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Four asks while leaning against the rock wall. The dim blue light around us highlights his features.

"I don't know," my voice it quiet.

Four stares at me, as if taking in my every detail, every move, and emotion, like I'm a book. "Why did you join Dauntless?"

My heart sinks. He probably thinks I'm unworthy or something. "To escape my parents."

Four merely cocks his head, "If your sole goal was to escape you would've ran to Amity. Why did you come here?"

"Why do you care?" I snap.

Four sits on the ground and pats the space beside him. Despite myself, I sit.

"You don't have to talk about it. But understand I get it. Having a parent raising you to be impossibly perfect, who cares about their public image. That hate for yourself because you don't feel good enough even after you leave, still being afraid of them after you escape. Trust me, I get it. And if you bottle it, it will just consume you."

A gasp almost escapes me, he's Marcus's son. "Why are you telling me this?"

"When we met, I thought you were going to be some bratty rich girl, you wouldn't last. You're still a bit of a brat," he chuckles, "but you're also a fighter. Strong, unwilling to bend or break, and the fucking way you smile. I must admit I'm jealous, but more than that I confess I want nothing more than to kiss you."

"You like me?"

"Alot more than I'm willing to admit."

"I came to Dauntless because I'm tired of feeling weak and unable to fight back." Four looks at me intently. "All my life it was dresses, being told how to act, stand, sit, talk. I felt like a doll, and if I made one error I would get yelled at and locked in my room for a week at the least. It was suffocating and I always felt so utterly powerless. Here at Dauntless I'm strong, I'm free, I can actually fight." I look down at my hands, and Four rests one of his atop mine, and I squeeze it.

"You said you wanted to kiss me."

"Badly," he added.

"Then kiss me."

One minute Four is looking at me like I grew two heads, and the next his lips are upon mine. My hands find purchase on his shoulders, both his hands cup my face. He kisses me like he's starved. His lips are soft, and warm and I practically melt into the kiss.

We pull away for a moment, then slowly we kiss again. "Please be mine," Four mumbles against my lips.

"I am yours," I mutter back as we kiss again. Eventually, we settle, simply sitting in the empty hall, me in Four's arms, his head on my chin.

"I knew it!"

"Fuck!" My head slams against Four's jaw as I jolt making Four groan in pain.

"Man I fucking knew it! Maria owes me $20," Damien cackles, so I chuck my shoe at him and grace him my middle finger.

Author's note: I'm sorry it took so long, my dad was in the hospital for colon cancer, and his girlfriend got offended that my mom knew of the situation which was a hole issue. Fortunately things have calmed down, my dad's surgery was successful, and he's doing chemo to ensure it doesn't come back.

I hope you enjoyed the fic. Please share feedback, I happily accept constructive criticism.

[odinsblog]

Unfortunately, Target caved in to an organized campaign by QAnon

Here is how you help children: house them, feed them, clothe them, educate them, provide them with comprehensive and preventative healthcare, protect them from child labor abuses and other exploitation, vaccinate them, respect their autonomy and their basic human rights, protect them from gun violence—and these things should all be free. OR, you can help children by giving their parents or legal guardians these same things

Anyone who is using “protect the children” as a rallying cry to harm + oppress marginalized groups, or to take away basic rights from oppressed groups, is a hateful grifter or has been conned by hateful grifters

[autisticadvocacy]

We are appalled, but unsurprised to see the House pass H.J. Res. 165.

If the resolution becomes law it would overturn the Department of Education’s Title IX Rule to strengthen protections against sex-based discrimination, harassment, and abuse in federally funded schools. This resolution is part of a continued pattern of attacks against LGBTQ+ people’s right to exist. The House has voted on 60+ anti-LGBTQ+ bills this session. The resolution is also an attack on survivors of sexual assault and harassment and pregnant and parenting students. Without this rule, federally funded schools can continue to turn a blind eye toward sex-based discrimination and sexual assault.

ASAN signed on to a letter of 110+ LGBTQ+, women’s, civil, and human rights organizations that urged members of Congress to vote against this resolution. The Title IX rule is very important to ASAN and the autistic community. Autistic people are more likely to be LGBTQ+ than allistic people and more likely to have our trans identity dismissed or disbelieved. Disabled LGBTQ+ students are also more likely to be bullied and harassed. Autistic people are also three times more likely than the general population to experience sexual violence. We are often denied access to quality sex education. The worst harassment and abuse is directed toward autistic people with intellectual disabilities.

We urge the Senate to oppose S.J. Res 96 which, if passed, would follow in the House’s footsteps. If this resolution became law, it would also prevent the Department of Education from producing any substantially similar regulations in the future. The White House has promised to veto the resolutions if either reach his desk. We urge the President to keep that promise. You can read more about this resolution in a statement from National Women's Law Center.

[museumofferedophelia]

Think of all the little girls in African and middle eastern countries who are pinned down while their genitals are horrifically cut open and mutilated without any sort of pain killer. Were they mutilated because they liked painting their nails and wearing dresses?

Think of all the little girls in developing nations who are told that they are being sent to work as a maid, only to find out that their parents were tricked, and they are now being prostituted at a brothel. Were they sentenced to a life of sexual abuse because they liked wearing makeup and having long hair?

Think of all the girls and women in Nepal and India who are forced into menstrual huts when they have their periods. Think of the girls who are left exposed in these huts and are raped by strange men, or else die from exposure to extreme heat, cold and flooding. Did they die because “skirt go spinny,” or because they liked playing the female avatar in video games?

Think of all the little girls in Africa who have just started developing breast buds, and their panicked mothers, aunts, and grandmothers feeling as though they must flatten their breasts with an iron in order to prevent them from being raped or married off as child brides. Were their bodies stunted because they liked playing with dolls rather than trucks?

Think of all the girls and women who become pregnant through rape, or else are impoverished, homeless, disabled, or not physically or mentally healthy enough to have a child. Are they denied control over their bodies because they look or act a certain way? Or was it by virtue of having a female body and genitalia?

Think of all the girls and women in countries ruled by Sharia law and militant Islam, who are denied an education, and routinely killed for trying to go to school. Were they murdered for opting into womanhood as some indefinable, mysterious, unknowable essence? 

This is why I vehemently disagree with the notion of "centring transwomen" in discussions of the systemic abuse that women suffer, both presently and historically. The majority of violence, abuse and oppression inflicted upon women on a global scale is SEX BASED, not gender based. It isn’t because they’ve chosen to present as a woman, it is because they ARE women. And if people would step outside of their privilege and view things on an international scale, they would clearly see that.

Being a woman isn’t a costume, it’s a life sentence. Trans rights should be discussed separate to women's rights.

[loveemagicpeace]

🪐Saturn Lord of Karma Part 2🪐

Saturn in Cancer- this position can be unpleasant because Capricorn is the opposite sign of Cancer. Saturn is cold, heavy and sometimes exhausting while Cancer is emotional. The individual may find himself in uncontrollable emotional. He may feel feelings of guilt, lack, unacceptance, not belonging. Parents could be very cold and strict. Family members could keep to themselves. The individual has difficulty controlling his emotional reactions in love and intimate relationships. He can also be ashamed of his emotions. They can appear insecure, sensitive and subjective.

Saturn in Scoprio- he has deep passion, emotional attachment and family karma, which he perceives through a secretive and closed way. He can have years of emotions inside him that he never reveals. It can manifest itself through jealousy, possessiveness, manipulation. But they are afraid of emotional loneliness. There can be problems in relationships - love and marriage. Problems can also be related to sexuality (they can face sexual abuse). Education at a young age also has a great influence. These people can also have premature conception. This situation can be manifested through problematic experiences with death (direct contact with murder, suicide...). Individuals can feel bad when someone is controlling them and need constant control with everything.

Saturn in Pisces- it lays the foundations of its activities on the basis of compassion, universal understanding, selfless love and a tendency to sacrifice. The instability of the Pisces sign and the ambivalent or two-faced behavior of Saturn largely prevent the individual from realizing their idealistic expectations in love relationships or relationships. Saturn in Pisces wants to work professionally and scientifically in the field of psychology and psychotherapy, as well as in frontier areas such as mysticism, metaphysics, esotericism and astrology. People are prone to psychoanalysis, the study of the unconscious, dreams, imaginations, fantasies and or rather, trying to sort out chaos and complex systems based on universal truths and deep feelings. Many times they can be limited by their emotions. The professional path can be disturbed if alcohol and drugs are present.

Saturn in Aries- the goals of a planet and a sign can be different. Saturn can create strict and unyielding control or pressure over an individual's personality. The relationship with the saturn could be painful or cruel. You can secretly beat parents, teachers, authorities, authorities and laws. People may have a tendency to impose their opinions or beliefs on others. They may be afraid of humiliation, submission, or personality. That is why he strengthens his personality, which is able to overcome all obstacles and problems on the path of life. He has goals and the ambition to climb up. They may have trouble achieving self-control, as they have a strong ego that wants to achieve their goals by any means necessary.

Saturn in Leo -ego is difficult to develop here. Leos like playfulness and Saturn likes seriousness. Parenting can be rough. They may have influenced their personality, playfulness, joy. People have a hard time finding their inner child. A person can behave contrary to what he is. They may wear a mask and be afraid of people seeing them as they are. They never want to show their weaknesses because they feel that people will use them. They can be great players. They cannot accept failure and lack self-criticism

Saturn in Sagittarius-Saturn here can introduce criticality, skepticism, which can reduce people's faith, joy in life, life's joys. They may have feelings of pessimism, sadness. These people can really struggle to find meaning. They want spontaneity but find it difficult to achieve. Accepting responsibility curbs the tendency to exaggerate, which can mean on one side overloading with work, duties and obligations, and secondly promiscuity, unrestrained freedom and moral laxity. The individual is afraid of social failure, so he tries very hard to make a good impression on other people.

Saturn in 1st house- these people are very careful in everything they do, because circumstances have taught them so. They don't trust immediately, but only over time. People have a problem with expressing themselves freely and it also shows a lack of initiative. People can be insecure and this can turn off a lot of relationships. This could be the influence of his parents in the past. Many times these people have a mask that they walk with and therefore it is difficult to really identify them. They are shy. And indecisiveness or arrogance many times use their defense mechanism. If Saturn is in conjunction with the ascendant, this usually indicates problems at birth, a difficult or long labor. The individual does not dare to step into life clearly, loudly, openly. Many times this situation indicates self-isolation, which can turn into depression. Many times they can be afraid even though nothing like that has happened. They work calmly, reliably, responsibly and seriously.

Saturn in 4th house-Saturn here greatly cools all relationships in the domestic environment. Home and family may be completely satisfactory, clean and orderly from a formal point of view, but there is emotional emptiness, repulsion and coldness among family members. Living in such a family is very unpleasant and difficult. When you set up your own home, there is a possibility of divorce or divorce. The arrangement of the home is often traditional or even archaic: the father does the traditionally male work, the mother the female, the children must strictly observe the rules and restrictions. What happens in the domestic circle must remain strictly confidential, because these things are not discussed in public. In this situation, there is also the possibility that one or both parents are alcoholics, drug addicts, without a job or income, or have some other serious problems. It can also happen that the individual has no parents at all, that they are replaced by grandparents, relatives or guardians, or that their home is an orphanage or an institution. Even when you live alone you can feel empty sometimes. The decision to have a family can be thought out because otherwise you may have problems with blockages and restrictions with your partner. It is important to get closer to your partner because you can live in the same house but be estranged.

Saturn in 5th house-fear of risk or games of chance, incapacity for love adventures, problems with conceiving, giving birth and raising children, feelings of rejection, lack of joy in living and enjoying, satisfaction. You can hide that happy side of you from others. This is the result of heredity and upbringing. Because the flow of creative energy was hindered or even blocked, your self-actualization and self -identification could suffer. Perhaps such a child never received the proper recognition that he is a worthy, independent and self-sufficient being, but was subjected to strict control, discipline and prohibitions. So his ego could not develop to the point where he could be happy because he is a living and creative being. Thus, a child and later an adult feel unaccepted. This position also means that the individual cannot have children, or else the years cause him many problems, strains and pains. This position sometimes also indicates the need for the individual to express himself as important, respected.

Saturn in 8th house-this house shows shared values ​​and values ​​with a partner, about various help and support of a partner, about sexual habits and sexuality in general, about secrets, psychological research, attitude to death, about other people's money and financial institutions, and about surgical procedures. It limits the flow and exchange of emotional energy between the partners, which can be expressed in the way that the partners try to control the emotional processes, with which they disturb each other. There is a strong emotional attachment in the relationship, or there is not - in the event that this is not the case, problems may arise when sharing joint money and property. Indeed, Saturn in the eighth house indicates emotional alienation, unrestrainedness and old fashionedness. There is also the possibility of theft, financial losses or the loss of all possessions, which happens after the emotional connection is gone. Pairing support is important. Indeed, this support depends on emotional connection. Since the eighth house is also related to sexuality, it is not surprising if prostitution becomes one of the career options. This position indicates involvement in psychological research and psychotherapy.

Saturn in 9th house-The ninth house tells something about the individual's ideals, faith, relationship to the sacred, ethical and moral principles, deep knowledge, philosophy of life, foreigners and relations with them, high-level education, long travel and long-distance means of transport (planes). It is typical for Saturn in the ninth house that education was traditionally oriented. The mentality and attitudes of the parents could be uncompromisingly transmitted to the child. Later in life, you may not be able to handle yourself well or think for yourself. Their philosophy of life is also rigid and traditional, and it is very difficult to change it because it is deeply rooted. Thus, the search for new ideals, beliefs and philosophy of life can become problematic. This position also shows a skeptical attitude towards everything that cannot be scientifically or orthodoxly proven, which indicates the fear that any unproven and unconfirmed belief could cause great ethical and moral damage.

Saturn in 12th house-this house represents unconscious, collective and karmic content, secrecy, isolation, humanitarian work, illegal business, final processes, the pre-natal state of the embryo, closed institutions and hidden opponents. Saturn in this house indicates fear, anxiety and horror at the loss of one's own substance. Hard to reach firmness and maturity. You can be exposed to many karmic relationships, chaotic. You usually have extraordinary problems when it comes to standing up for yourself and showing a solid inner structure. We can say that a person with Saturn in this position is his own biggest opponent. Although you try hard to build a suitable personality or life structure, you partially succeed in this only later in life. This position is certainly also karmic, because the current incarnation requires him to overcome the obstacles of the past and establish a relationship between time and non-time. The individual often feels as if he is imprisoned in a prison, mental hospital, or some other closed institution from which he is trying to break free. The twelfth house is also the field of prenatal events, which refers to the period in the last third of pregnancy, when the mutual experience of mother and child is especially close. With Saturn in this position, there is usually a severe fear of giving birth itself, so the mother can be very worried about how the birth will go and whether everything will turn out well. In addition to fear, there is also unease and dissatisfaction with the fact that she got pregnant at all. Feelings of guilt are also possible, which are connected to the fact that the mother did not want the child in the first place. Feelings can be transferred to the child. Because of this, feelings of tension and alienation may appear later. These are the causes of imaginary psychological problems, why a person experiences life as foreign and problematic.

-Rebekah🎸🧚🏼‍♀️🌊

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

‘her Early Years work despite her repetitive rambling of how important the first 5 years of children's lives for over a decade now hasn't reached anywhere yet. ‘

Well it is my great hope that parents and educators are thinking more about the early years and how their influences can profoundly affect the future generations under their care. That they are listening and undertaking some simple steps (like taking the kids to a park for outside play) towards making Children’s lives better for better outcomes on mental health and a reduction in the harm stemming from neglect and abuse -anti social behaviour, drug abuse, addiction and mental illness. The things that Catherine was seeing on a daily basis and hopefully coming up with strategies to prevent these problems in the first place.

I think they are.

Because if you look at what's happening, the "repetitive rambling for over a decade hasn't reached anywhere yet" criticism is coming from people who aren't in the early years community. It's coming from outsiders - people who aren't in the thick of those early years of parenting; who haven't seen firsthand the problems that Kate observed throughout 10+ years of visits to jails/prisons, hospitals, baby centers, mothers' groups, mental health charities, etc (I'd guess that these people have never even set foot in a jail); who haven't talked to experts; who haven't read anything about socioeconomics, culture surveys, or even memoirs of people from the system. The kind of people who only see Kate for the clothes she wears or the man she married.

Everyone who is in the early years/adjacent community - at least as far as I've seen - has appreciated Kate's work. I've said this before, and I'll say it again. The success of early years research isn't easily measured by monthly metrics or quick-win impacts (like $X fundraised or X charity visits); it's measured in years and generations.

Here's a (kind of) example. The 'gentle parenting' strategy taking place today can be considered a response to the 'iPad parenting' of the '10s, which can be considered a response to the 'tiger parenting'/'helicopter parenting' strategy of the '90s and '00s, which can be considered a response to the 'latchkey parenting' of the '70s and '80s. Meaning, it took about 20-25 years to truly understand the effects of being left alone on children's mental health. Then there was another 20-25 years to understand the effects of authoritarian parenting on children's mental health or the effects of overly protective parenting on the kids' mental health. And just now, we're starting to see the effects of 'ipad parenting', which is informing how 'gentle parenting' evolves.

These things take time, and they involve extraordinarily small steps like "take your kids for a walk every day" or "take time to talk about your feelings." A big win - a generational transformation like the one that Kate's early years work is leading - has thousands of small steps, and occasionally dozens of missteps, behind it.

[heyftinally]

April 30th is the Day of the Homeschooled Child

I was one of the 1.7 million children homeschooled in the USA.

I am also one of Homeschool's Invisible Children.

I was heavily restricted at home - I was barred from nearly everything that my peers were connecting with. I had incredibly limited access to movies and TV, even more restricted internet access, and was even barred from many of the same toys my peers played with. This on top of my academic isolation made socializing very hard.

I didn't relate to my peers socially.

Children younger than me were more academically advanced than me.

I was socially unaware, and frequently missed jokes or made faux pas comments because I didn't understand how to interact with peers.

My ADHD went untreated my entire childhood.

And the issues were not only social. Despite living in a state that boasted some of the most rigorous checks for homeschooled students, I was missed. My portfolios every year were falsified - much of what they claimed I had learned I had little to no understanding of.

By the time I graduated high school "with honors" (that I did not earn and were entirely false), this is a brief list of some of my academic failings:

I had never written an essay, and did not know how

I did not know how to do a critical analysis of a piece of text or media

I was incapable of math above a 4th/5th grade level

I could not tell time on an analog clock

I could not identify more than ~5 states on a map of the United States

I could not identify more than ~5 countries on a map of the world/globe

I could not spell above a ~6th grade level

I did not know that there was proof of life on earth prior to dinosaurs

I did not know that the lymphatic system was real

And so much more.

I entered college woefully unequipped for both the academic and socal demands that were placed on me. At 18, I was closer to as 14 year old, social/emotionally. Academically I was much worse.

I had to work three times as hard as my peers to achieve the same results, battled my still-undiagnosed ADHD as well as my academic and social neglect.

I didn't fully know who I even was as a person, due to spending so many years being expected to fit a specific ideal that was enforced upon me 24/7 through the isolation of homeschooling.

This April 30th, I'm wearing green for Homeschool's Invisible Children - for children like me.

If you are a child experiencing homeschool neglect, please know that you are not alone. There are resources available to you, and your future is not doomed just because your guardians failed to educate you. I'm listing some resources below that may be of help to you.

Homeschool alumni/survivors who resonate with this story: we deserved better. We deserved education. We deserved freedom. It's okay if you're angry at your past. It's okay if you're grieving the life you might have had without homeschooling. It's okay if you're conflicted. I hope you're able to find closure and healing in whatever form that means for you.

And, because I know it unfortunately needs to be said, if you're an ex-homeschooler or a homeschool parent who feels the need to jump on this post and defend yourself, I need you to step back, sit down, delete your comment, and sit with why you feel so attacked by our truth.

This is not a personal attack on you - this is abuse survivors speaking up to prevent further abuse. It is not your place to tell us we should be silent.

"But homeschoolers test better and are more successful!" I'm sure you're dying to say. To wave your statistics at me.

And you would be wrong. Because here's the problem with those statistics.

Let's pretend we have ten homeschooled children and ten public schooled children.

All ten of the public schooled children take a school assessment. Because some excel at different things than others, the public school students average out to an 85.

Only four of the homeschooled children take the assessment. Of the other six, one is traveling with their family during the assessment, two are not permitted because their parents know they aren't up to grade level and fear backlash or judgement, two are mentally or physically disabled and so their parents don't feel the test will adequately display their knowledge, and the last hasn't received any kind of education in years because their parents keep them at home either doing chores, working a job, caring for siblings, or they are simply neglected and spend all day hungry and scared.

Of the four homeschooled children that do take the assessment, they do quite well, as their parents knew/suspected they would. Their average score is a 98.

A 98 is better than an 85, yes. But just because 4 out of 6 homeschooled children were above the public school average does not mean homeschooling is automatically better. If you tested the top four public school students, they might very well score a 98 as well.

However, if you included those other six homeschooled students, the average homeschool score would very likely be something closer to a 45.

So when we talk about Homeschool's Invisible Children, we're talking about those six that never got the chance to take an assessment. Those six who never had a chance to tell a teacher "I'm ten and I don't know how to read". Those six who may not even realize how far behind their peers they are. Those six who deserved to have access to supports so that they could learn in ways that actually met their needs.

So while your statistics look good on paper, they are not honest. They do not present the full picture of homeschooling. Listen to the homeschool survivors who were one of those six kids who never got to make their voices heard. We have a voice now - don't try and take it from us.

Resources for current homeschool students and alumni:

Khan Academy - basically free online self paced K-12 classes. They have fantastic explanation videos for the lessons, you can review them whenever you want, and you don't have to stay in the same grade level for every subject - great if you're trying to catch up and you're in 6th grad for English but 2nd for math. They have courses besides just core classes (math/english/science/etc), too! They run on donations, but it's completely free to use. Also, this site is used in my local public school system to supplement the existing curriculum, so it's not just for homeschoolers!

Coalition for Responsible Home Education - actively fighting for more oversight and restrictions on homeschooling in the USA. They mostly do awareness and advocacy, but they also have resources on their site for things like what to do if you don't have a high school transcript. They run on donations, but the information is freely available.

Probably the most famous resource on this list. Videos that give you a "crash course" (aka a condensed overview) of a wide variety of topics. These are best used as supplement to more structured lessons like Khan Academy, but they have a lot of merit on their own if they're all you can manage. Knowing a bit about something is better than knowing nothing about it!

[roadhogsbigbelly]

something that's weird to me is that alot of people on here seem to think that when conservatives accuse trans people/gay people of "grooming children" that they're using OUR definition of "grooming" to refer to like. sexual abuse, when very often they're not even talking about that, but rather simply referring to the act of "telling kids that being trans is an option" which they view as just as bad if not worse.

because like the reason conservatives will say shit like "we need to protect OUR children from the lgbtq agenda, because they're being GROOMED into that lifestyle" while having child brides, or giving their daughters "weekly virginity checks", is because their definition of "grooming" has absolutely nothing to do with sexual abuse, but rather anything that prevents them from having completely control over their children, hence why they're so often against sex education or their kids even learning what consent is, or why they're so obsessed with "parenting rights" (meaning not letting public schools teach your kids about crt) while saying parents who let their kids cut their hair and use different pronouns should have their kids taken away, it's why you have conservative mothers say that their against drag because they don't want their "children to be exposed to that kind of degeneracy" while they cover the sexual abuse their sons do to their daughters.

it's why it's frustrates me when i see some people say it's inherently "reactionary" or "culturally christian" to be against csa because like "covering up sexual abuse for your own convenience. " is actually a pretty key mentality in alot of conservative christian circles lol.

[txttletale]

Don’t you think that people who join communities like r/raisedbynarcissists or r/bpdlovedone and have been hurt by individuals deserve to have a space to not attack them directly but still unload the pain they carry from their abuse? It’s no different than being triggered by your parents neglect from depression or your abuse from a partner due to anxiety. People with heavily stigmatized mental illness have it hard, and we need more education to prevent the general population from thinking that it’s a moral failing, but my parent hurt me mentally and physically and my trauma isn’t yours to police. I don’t treat people with any of these illnesses differently when I can get space, but no one got on my case when fireworks left me in an episode like some people do when I say I have problems with my upbringing by a person with bpd and a host of co-morbidities.

no i dont think anyone deserves a space to blame their abuse and trauma on their abuser's mental illness. i think thats bad to do actually

[techramonic]

Orthodox Gymnasium bombing 2021, Vladislav Struzhenkov.

Russia has seen a rise in attacks on schools in recent years but incidents at religious premises are rare. In October 2018, 18 year-old Vladislav Roslyakov killed 20 people and injured 70 at Kerch polytechnical college in Crimea. In September 2021, 18 year-old law student Timur Bekmansurov killed 6 people and injured 147 others in Perm State University. In May of 2021, a 19-year-old Ilnaz Galyaviev killed 9 people and injured 23 at Kazan school, Tatarstan.

Vladislav Struzhenkov was an 18-year-old graduate and former student of the Orthodox Gymnasium. Vlad was sentenced to 13 years in prison after detonating an IED bomb in the educational facility beside a monastery in Serpukhov, outside Moscow, Russia in December, 2021.

At 08:24 a.m, Vlad entered the premises and attempted to detonate an explosive device. The bomb went off at 08:26 a.m. local time, near the entrance of a school located on the grounds of the 14th-century Vladychny Convent. Several teenagers were injured in the blast. Vlad, who had attempted to blow himself up, wounded ten others, including himself. He was taken to the intensive care unit with traumatic injuries and had to have his leg amputated. While conscious, he informed investigators that he had been planning the attack for three months. It is suspected that he may have had an accomplice who assisted in preparing the explosive device.

ABUSE AND BULLYING

According to the teenager, the religious Orthodox school was considered to be abusive. State news agency TASS, citing a police source, reported that the teenager intended for the device to detonate during morning prayers, but it exploded at the school entrance instead. Authorities are working to determine the motives behind the attack.

However, according to the Interfax news agency, the teenager may have sought revenge for being bullied by nuns at the convent. Vladimir Legoida, a spokesman for the Russian Orthodox Church, stated that the church will provide assistance to "all those affected". "Such attacks, wherever they occur, cause the same grief and a strong desire to prevent them in the future," he said in a statement on Telegram.

Since President Vladimir Putin's election, the Russian church has increased its influence over traditionally secular institutions like schools. Introducing more religious lessons and clerics advocating for conservative textbooks.

VERDICT

Commenting on the verdict, a source in the Russian Church told RIA-Novosti: 

"The act committed by Struzhenkov, of course, meets the criteria of a terrorist act, so the punishment is fitting. At the same time, of course, we’d like him to have the opportunity to repent of this crime, and we hope that the prison priests, as far as possible, will be able to help him in this. He’s a young man, and despite the severity of the crime he committed, we believe his life isn’t over, and his fate is better than that of those who committed suicide during such attacks or were eliminated by law enforcement agencies."

Vlad was sentenced 13 years in prison. It is also to note that Vlad's parents also said that recently their son was seen by a psychologist and drank antidepressants before the incident.

picture of vladislav's cane, the words written, "when you know nothing matters the universe is your's :)".

[bonefall]

since kits in BB have more freedom, what would the clans think of a mi who DIDN'T want to let their kits out of camp at all and barely out of the nursery unsupervised? would they be viewed as abusive or just a bit of a helicopter parent? would the clan think perhaps they needed to get the cleric involved?

It would be a huge cause for alarm.

Clan cats see kittens as future warriors, not objects for an individual to possess. The Mi is responsible for the first part of a warrior's childhood, for overseeing their well-being and development. Children aren't pets, they're on a journey towards becoming adults. So the Mi, Ba, and Mentor are NOT entitled to "deprive" their charges of what the Clan believes kits are owed.

So, in a way that might be unfortunate, they will respond to this more effectively than they would respond to physical abuse. Especially because this is a battle culture.

As an example, Hillrunner was REALLY easily able to hide the fact she was thrashing Nightkit and Tawnykit, just by coming up with "punishments" for their bad behavior to deflect attention onto. If she was making them run around with a stone in their mouth for backtalk, it looked like "parenting" to WindClan. But if she had shut down and tried to keep them in the nursery all day, fearful of losing them like she lost Downwind, making them miss major developmental milestones like "first prey," someone would have stepped in.

But anyway, back on a suffocating Mi.

If there are Ba involved in this, it is expected that they would be the ones making that challenge. If the Mi starts preventing them from taking their kits out of the nursery to socialize them, or starts excluding them on "unfair grounds," they might appeal to the Leader or Cleric to become the kit's Mi. In such case, they would decide if the Mi gets to become a Ba or if they're now excluded.

(this is a major reason why there is not more than one Mi; it's not the "mother" role. It's primary guardianship. A Ba and a Mi are not "legally" equal to the Clan.)

If there are no Ba, then it's usually the Educator who would be stepping in. Though another Mi in the nursery could also bring up these concerns, the Educator will often notice just how far behind a kitten has fallen when they come in to teach history and glyphs.

Situations like that are a lot rarer than you'd think though. One of the advantages of a Clan is that it's a community. Friends, parents, siblings, cousins, mentors, and apprentices are meant to be trying to involve themselves in the raising of kits, and the support of their struggling family member. Even standard Clanmates would start wondering why they haven't seen the kittens around.

Extreme paranoia like this usually comes from something traumatic, and ideally you're meant to have a network to help recognize when that's happened to you. If the situation has gotten THAT bad, there's usually some outstanding circumstances for why that is.

[suchine-toki]

(A Totally Serious) Gintama Dads Tier List

Why does this series have so many dads help-

S

Isaburo: Despite his outwardly stern demeanor, he understands Nobume's past traumas and helps her cope with them, while also educating her on the harsh realities they face. He named her after his deceased daughter and cared for her as such, even texting her frequently and buying her donuts.

A

Shouyo: He's a father figure for several characters in the series, demonstrating unwavering love and acceptance, and provided a supportive environment for them to grow. His memory and teachings remain a guiding force for his students. Reason for losing points: He left his kids concussed and dumb.

Gintoki: He consistently shows protectiveness towards Kagura and Shinpachi, often putting their safety and well-being above his own. He's playful with them, teaches them important life lessons, and accepts them unconditionally. Despite his flaws, Kagura and Shinpachi love him very much. Reason for losing points: Has several mental health issues and his feet stink.

Zenzou's dad: He became a father figure to many children as he taught ninja arts and played kick the can with them. Many of his students attended his funeral, showing how loved he was. Reason for losing points: Sold Zenzou's JUMP collection to buy p*rn.

Matsugorou: Also known as Musashi, he's Ikumatsu's dad. It's shown that despite their poverty they were very happy together, until he lost his memory trying to save a boy from drowning. He saves her daughter and reconnects with her. Reason for losing points: He wears a jacket and fundoshi.

B

Jirochou: He abandoned his daughter Pirako because he felt compelled to protect what his friend Tatsugorou left behind after he died. His subsequent actions reflect a desire for redemption and a willingness to spend more time with her. Reason for losing points: Was too chicken to have a threesome with Tatsugorou and Otose.

Abuto: He's not the stepdad, he's the dad that stepped up. Although he's not exactly a parental figure to Kamui, he has been by his side since he was a kid and cares about him a lot. Kamui was even shown to hesitate attacking him. Reason for losing points: He's losing his will to live.

C

Shimura Ken: Not much is known about him, only that he died leaving Tae and Shinpachi with a huge debt. Although he cannot be blamed for dying from an illness, he didn't take any measures to prevent his children from suffering because of him. Reason for losing points: His name is a parody of a comedy actor.

Koshinori: Since the heir of the Yagyuu clan had to be a man, instead of changing the rules, he forced Kyuubei to conform to that identity. He later decides to let her live as she sees fit. Reason for losing points: His height is 122 cm (4'0").

Umibouzu: He has a complex relationship with Kamui and Kagura. His absence leaves a void in their lives and creates feelings of abandonment, even if he'd reasons to do so. His two children ended up finding substitute father figures elsewhere. Reason for losing points: Stopped a 3 day fight to take a dump.

D aka Betrayed their students tier

Jiraia: He takes on the role of Tsukuyo's mentor and trainer, but his influence extended beyond that, manipulating her emotions and exploiting her vulnerabilities. Their relationship becomes increasingly abusive and toxic until she breaks free of it. Reason for losing points: Bad skincare habits.

Utsuro: Despite his mentorship role, he manipulates his students' emotions and desires for his own ends, creating emotional turmoil within them as they uncover his true intentions and the extent of his malevolence. Reason for losing points: His existence.