#Paladin4TheRight

[sushisocks]

five mutuals i would like to know better 💥

tagged by the ever-lovely @butterballchannie thank u very much <3<3<3

last song I listened to: im listening to music rn and at the time of writing this, the song playing is Superfly by 4 Non Blondes ✨ At the time of posting it's Moderation by Florence + the Machine

favorite content to watch: i swing between a lot of stuff, tbh, I love analytical content that delves into stuff I don't know a lot about, so documentaries are high up there, and I follow a lot of news/political channels on youtube. I watch a lot of content on european & international politics/relations/history, and music videos on there, while tiktok is more for petty drama and pop culture stuff. My favorite tv/movie genre is disaster movies, which comes with a particular love of zombie apocalypses -- I eat that shit up!

favorite games: RDR2(!), the Dragon Age series, and Stardew Valley, and uuuhh does D&D count? I also really like Breath of the Wild, and Assassins Creed: Odyssey.

favorite color(s): Pink and gold, like, unironically.

favorite animal: I'm a dog person through and through! I also really like horses, and I have a tattoo of a hedgehog on my shoulder so I'd say those're pretty high up there too ;p

favorite food: Chicken fried rice!

sweet, spicy, or savory: Savory, then sweet. I can't really have spicy food >>n<<

current obsession: RDR2 (as Im sure all my followers are painfully aware), and D&D, and I guess my own writing. Can I say that? Not obsessed in a 'I think its so good' way, but in a 'I literally cannot stop thinking about these scenarios' way.

last book i read: TECHNICALLY it was a little booklet on dice care that came with the dice jail I bought last week, but prior to that I'm honestly unsure. Might've been Unmasking Autism by Devon Price, or it might've been Rhythm of War by Brandon Sanderson. Idk, I've been on a fanfic kick for months now, not a lot of books read tbh

last thing I googled: "sees no other option synonym" A look behind the curtain for my readers; I google synonyms like a bitch whose first language isn't English lol

fun facts: I have six younger siblings; four brothers and two sisters! Technically they're all my half-siblings but I never got in the habit of calling them that and I probably never will, I love them all very much and they're a big reason behind why I volunteer & work with teens!

no pressure tags: @wilchur @moonlovingvampire @paladin4theright @ithinkthiswasabadidea

[lhostgil]

@paladin4theright my god. So small ｡ﾟ(TヮT)ﾟ｡

💜🚨💜 BWOOP BWOOP ATTENTION @CLEOLINDA THERE IS A BABY PALLAS CAT 💜🚨💜

[suddensouthparkaddiction]

Stan: When did we grow up? When did I...start loving you?

This is my first fan art or attempt at anything like this, ever. I've seen amazing artists here on Tumblr so I know it's nothing in comparison but I hope you still like it. I will try it again soon.

[paladin4theright]

I’m beeaaaaacckkk *scream in Cousin Kyle’s voice*

I have updated Revenge and Of Birthday’s and Relationships. I also have started a new Bunny fic! Check it out at AO3! Missed you guys! Hope you are all safe and healthy!

https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paladin4TheRight

[ao3feed-creek]

Revealing the Revenant

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2Byhekq

by Paladin4TheRight

Ghost Hunting duo Craig and Tweek discover evidence of a haunting at an abandoned warehouse and reach out to a local-renowned medium, Butters Stotch.

Words: 541, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: South Park

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M, Multi, Other

Characters: Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Kenny McCormick, Bebe Stevens, Craig Tucker, Tweek Tweak, Pete Thelman, Mike "Vampir" Makowski

Relationships: Kenny McCormick/Leopold "Butters" Stotch, Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak

Additional Tags: Paranormal, Paranormal Investigators, Psychic Abilities

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2Byhekq

[lhostgil]

@paladin4theright hahahaha (o´∀`o)

this guy suuuucksss he can't catch anythingggg

[ao3feed-style]

The Debeautification of War

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2UAx5pd

by Paladin4TheRight

War is never beautiful.

Words: 725, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: South Park

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death

Categories: M/M, Multi, Other

Characters: Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski

Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh

Additional Tags: Short One Shot

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2UAx5pd

[paladin4theright]

Kenny: *explaining his friend* Well, Craig is kinda like a pineapple...

Butters: Ya mean, hard on the outside and acidic on the inside?

Kenny: *snorts*...yes...*trying to stifle laughter*

Tweek: Ack! hey, there’s some sweet in there when he’s ripe enough, man! *>.

[paladin4theright]

Tweek: I love you, St-

Craig: *interrupts* I love you too, Honey. *half-paying attention*

Tweek: Stripe...?

Craig: *stares*

[sushisocks]

heehoo!!! love stuff like this thank u guys for the tags <3<3<3

tags; @wilchur @paladin4theright @moonlovingvampire @ithinkthiswasabadidea @snakeoilpictures @sanguinous @big-boah

Saw this going around twitter, looked like fun. What? I'm not procrastinating (I am, I really am)

Make this picrew of yourself

Take this uquiz

Post the results side-by-side. No pressure tags: @alypink, @revnah1406, @madefordvarka, @deadbranch, @welldonekhushi, @kaitaiga, @applbottmjeens, @froglights-and-pearls

[paladin4theright]

Clyde: *sifts through Taco Bell bag* Dammit the sauce packet with “will you marry me” isn’t in here...guess TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY.

Token: *stares* ...??????????

[paladin4theright]

Stan: *is driving, stopped at a stop light with Kyle in the passenger seat and sees a cop car passing by* Oh Jesus, that’s a cop!! *ducks*

Kyle: Dude…you are a fucking cop.

Stan: oh…right.

Kyle: Jesus, dude. You are starting to sound like your dad.

Stan: I DO NOT SOUND LIKE MY DAD, GOLLL!!!

Kyle: *stares with eyebrow raised*

Stan: *pinches nose bridge* Jesus -fucking- Christ.

[paladin4theright]

In the Ghetto

Food was a rare commodity, to say the absolute least, for the McCormick family. The fact of the matter was so obvious, much to the children’s embarrassment, that when schools and business around town held canned food drives, it was always dedicated to the most destitute clan in South Park: the McCormicks.

The household consisted of five members: a mother, Carol; a father, Stuart; two boys, Kevin at thirteen years old and Kenny at ten; and a girl, Karen, who brought up the rear at seven years old.

Carol was convinced that she was doing the best she could for her children and herself. When she first got pregnant she was a mere thirteen years old. ‘It was entirely an accident.’ She’d exclaimed to her less than forgiving parents just right before they told her to pack some clothes and move out. In desperation, she went to the man that had gotten her pregnant.

His name was Stuart, a twenty-six year old who, at the time, was being completely supported by his wife. He and his wife, a voluptuous red head, had a young son together, or so Stuart vaguely remembers. It was one night after coming home drunk and horny that Stuart decided to become intimate with the babysitter, a cute little red head, whom he claimed to have mistaken for his wife. After waking up to various breakable items being thrown around the house and one red head yelling at another, Stuart realized his infidelity. He also realized that the babysitter was only thirteen.

Needless to say, Stuart was not married to his wife for very long after the incident. She divorced him based on adultery and was awarded to keep her house in the mountain town. She refused to stay in the home where her husband molested a teenager and moved shortly after selling the house. She took their son with her.

Eight months later and still entirely jobless, Carol and Stuart were betrothed and a month after that, Carol gave birth to their blue eyed bundle of money issues: Kevin Walker McCormick.

Carol was able to get her first job after three months of being with Stuart permanently. She worked as a paper delivery girl for South Park’s local newspaper. With the money she earned from her occupation, she was able to buy diapers for Kevin. She always managed to steal a few jars of baby food every time she went to the store. Consistently she was asked if the baby was her little brother. This left the poor young mother embarrassed and unwilling to take Kevin to the store so she would leave him home. Sometimes Stuart was there to watch him. Sometimes he was not.

Three long and hungry years had gone by before Carol realized she was pregnant with their second bun in the oven. It wasn’t long before she knew she was with child, though, that Stuart had started to cook methamphetamines in the backyard of their decrepit house. Some of it was sold so they could bring in a little more money but the McCormick parents needed an escape from their everyday lives. Thusly, more often than not, the meth they made was used for recreational purposes and soon the drug became an addiction for them both. Before Carol knew what was going on around her, she and Stuart were attending cult meetings for the dark lord Cthulhu for the free booze.

The pair were arrested during one of the meetings by police attempting to break up the cult. They paid all their fines by sitting out their time in jail. It was while they were behind iron bars and unable to see each other that Carol realized she’d not had her period in a couple of months. The realization as well as the detox from the chemicals screwed with her mind in a way that was so undeniable that she began to cry, inconsolably, for the next two months. All she could think of was how she and Stuart could never afford another baby. One was more than enough and Kevin, at this point, had already grown so independent. Speaking of Kevin, what happened to him? She was rotting in jail with the other miscreants of South Park. Surely some form of child protective services had discovered him and taken him in. He had to be safe.

Being released from jail, Carol and Stuart never felt freer. They were detoxed, clean, and sober. They were responsible and full of life, love, and joy. Only they weren’t. That was the furthest thing from the truth. Being in jail had only left the couple wanting more of what they could not have and the pressures of being constantly watched were hazardous.

Four clean months later and Kenneth Jack McCormick was brought into the world. Kevin, who’d been found wandering around the McCormick family home after five months of being on his own, couldn’t have been more upset. His parents assumed he was sad because he wasn’t the only child anymore.

Stuart had gotten a job at the local food mart, stocking items and doing inventory at night. That way he could watch Kevin and Kenny during the early morning while Carol was back at delivering the newspaper. This worked out really well until Kenny turned eight months old and Stuart ended up having a really bad week. His boss had yelled at him for something that, clearly, was not his fault and he felt as though he’d been berated all week long. That led Stuart to go to Skeeter’s Bar and fall back into old habits. He just stopped going into work. He never bothered to call in, put in a notice, anything. His excuse, when asked about why he left, was that the government was holding too much from his check so he might as well not work at all. Minimum wage was a joke anyway.

The abuse was just part of being with Stuart. When he was drunk, he was an asshole but, as far as Carol was concerned, he made up for it when he was sober. If Carol wasn’t the seventeen year old mother of two boys, maybe she could manage to pick up and leave, but she relied so much on the older man that she didn’t feel any confidence in leaving him. She was stuck.

Two years later, Stuart figured he’d had enough of this life. He could barely stand what he’d made with his little family. He’d packed up a couple bags with his few belongings and left, telling Carol that he would never come back home. She cried, tried to convince him to stay, and then grew angry. She’d yelled at him to leave and pushed him out of the house. Carol slammed the door in Stuart’s face. Since they didn’t have a lock on the door, she held tightly onto the knob as Stuart began to pound on the door. It took a few minutes but finally Stuart grew tired and kicked the door one last time before storming off.

Loneliness consumed Carol over the upcoming months. She guessed that Kevin was old enough to watch Kenny whenever she began to go out. She dated a guy or two but they just did not fill the void that Stuart had left on her heart. Maybe she was a glutton for punishment because she knew the older man wasn’t good for her. She began to drink with the little bit of money she had been making as a busser at City Wok. She fed the kids a couple frozen waffles a day with the money she made selling her poorly made meth.

One day she was sitting, watching stolen cable on the dilapidated old couch, when the door slammed open. Stuart held tightly onto two bags that, when dropped, sounded somewhat heavy. A sigh escaped Carol’s lips as she, dejectedly, turned back to watch the television.

They had sex that night.

A month went by and Carol discovered she was pregnant with her third baby. When she told Stuart, it seemed as though he couldn’t be more ecstatic to continue forward with their little clan. Hell, he’d even gone so far as to hope that they would have a little girl. The next several months went by and Stuart had once again gotten a job. He’d even kept his job through Karen Rose McCormick’s birth.

What seemed like a very short time after Karen was born, though, Stuart had lost his job for mouthing off to a customer or the manager or someone else of equal importance. As far as he was concerned, it didn’t matter who they were because he didn’t deserve to be treated as badly as he had been through his duration at this job. He tried to work hard for his family, but goddammit, if he wasn’t the most mistreated person.

Life for the McCormick family continued this way for several years which was exactly why food was such a rare commodity and the family often went hungry.

All three kids had grown to be severely malnourished, not that it was easily spotted by all of their baggy hand-me-downs clothes. It was very often that three sets of Poptarts were split between each member of the family: one for everybody except Stuart, who received two as the man of the house. Anything besides frozen waffles for dinner was a delicacy and mayo sandwiches were often something enjoyed for lunch. If it had been a good month and the people at the electric company had the grace to keep the power on for the family, the kids would get ramen.

Kevin had a fond memory of Kenny where he had come home from his friend Stan’s house. His belly looked distended but his little blue eyes hadn’t ever seemed happier. Kenny had just started kindergarten so he guessed Kenny had the best meal he’d ever eaten in his short life. He had a similar memory that involved Karen after she had come home from her friend Tricia’s house. He was glad his brother and sister had such good friends that were willing to feed them.

The eldest McCormick child wasn’t so lucky. He’d never really made friends. The other kids in school had already considered him stupid, hard to talk to, and less than friend material. He wasn’t interesting or he smelled badly. They called him names, made fun of him for wearing the same pair of pants every day, and tormented him about his shoes always being worn out and falling apart. Kevin McCormick was poison on anyone that tried to be friends with him and the sad thing was that Kevin knew it.

Maybe it was from the meth and alcohol riddled breast milk he was still ingesting at three years old because his parents couldn’t afford real food or potentially it was from when he was left alone in the house for god-knows how many months while his parents were sitting in jail. Perhaps it was from all the years of starvation or getting beaten by drunken and drugged out parents. There was a chance, even, that was just who Kevin was as a person and there was no real cause for his behavior. Whatever the case, Kevin had decided that he was better off without other people.

That didn’t mean he wanted that life for Kenny and Karen, however, so he encouraged them and loved them. He praised them when they deserved praise and scolded them when they deserved scolding. If Carol or Stuart got angry with the other two, Kevin always tried to step in to take the brunt of their fury. Occasionally he wouldn’t get there until after some damage to his younger siblings had been done, but try as he might, Kevin would run to get hit before Kenny or Karen were ever hurt.

Kevin decided that if their parents couldn’t buck up and become real, true adults for the sake of their children then Kevin could grow up and do it for them. With this goal in mind, Kevin didn’t have time for friends.

So at the ripe age of thirteen, Kevin forged Stuart’s signature and sent it in to the school board for South Park, Colorado. He would begin ‘home school’ by the beginning of the spring semester. Christmas break was coming up so that gave Kevin plenty of time to find a job before the holidays.

Check out more of the story on AO3! (it’s a work in progress) https://archiveofourown.org/works/13863645

[sushisocks]

ooouuuuhhhhhh there are so many good songs here!! thank u for tagging me, i enjoy this sort of stuff sm ;;w;;

Cryin' by Aerosmith

Monkey See, Monkey Do by Moon Walker

Jeepster by T. Rex

Lover, You Should Have Come Over by Nothing But Thieves (v good cover)

Young Lady, You're Scaring Me by Ron Gallo

Spaceman by 4 Non Blondes

Blue World by Mac Miller

Seven Sins by Ren

Alrighty Aphrodite by Peach Pit

Something On My Mind by PDM, Duke Dumont, and NBT

Ofc there's two NBT songs lmfaooo im just a girl

Tags: @papi-abel @butterballchannie @ithinkthiswasabadidea @wilchur @paladin4theright @faux-news @hamd-some @completelyconfusing @omgwhatchloe @river-of-wine

no pressure, vibes only ✨

got tagged by @nestavadavat to do a 10 songs 10 mutuals post but long posts scare me so I’m just gonna start a new one <3

okay here we go

1.) The King and the Bull - Darren Korb

2.) Here Comes the Anxiety - The Wombats

3.) Youth - Glass Animals

4.) All My Love - Noah Kahan

5.) O My Heart - Mother Mother

6.) The Calling - The Amazing Devil

7.) Tic Toc - Mother Mother

8.) Just Look at This Mess - Punch Brothers

9.) Magnet - Punch Brothers

10.) Savages - MARINA

@ursaspecter @cowpunch-em @arthur-kilgore @samwis @adrianicsea @doomednarrative @drizzledrawings @catgirladjacent @angel-trapped @sawtrapz !! no pressure to do join ofc but feel free if you want to :)

[suddensouthparkaddiction]

MOVING

So I am moving this SP sub blog to a new account because I am tired of fighting with my primary account. *mood I know* 

If you currently follow either blog AND enjoy South Park: SuddenSouthParkAddiction or mentholcigarettesandshiningstars  - they are both me and I am moving to Paladin4TheRight since that’s the name of my AO3 account where I’ve been posting all of my SP Fanfics.

[paladin4theright]

Revenge: Prologue

Karen McCormick was six months pregnant. She would be the perfect object to use in Cartman’s twisted, devious plan he’d dubbed, “Project Jew”.

Karen had accidentally gotten pregnant by Ike Broflovski. She apparently didn’t want to graduate from high school as a virgin and Ike needed to know whether or not he was gay. Win, win, right? The only problem was that neither teen was expecting the Canadian to be extremely potent, only getting Karen pregnant on pre-come. Ike had discovered he actually was fucking gay and Karen found out later that she was pregnant.The two were best friends along with Tricia Tucker. The three amigos were practically inseparable which made this plan extremely difficult. Not to mention Karen recently started dating Fillmore Anderson. Another set back. This, of course, was all to get Kyle back, that damned fucking Jew boy.

Stan Marsh had left just after high school to join the Marines and Kyle stayed obsessed with school. He used this as an excuse to bury his head in homework rather than wonder why the fuck his heart hurt. Of course, Cartman tried to make him feel better by taking him out but that was a rare occurrence. Hell, just a little fucking attention from Kyle would have been nice. Cartman just wasn’t good enough. All his fucking attention went to his courses and Kyle made no time for Cartman. Therefore, Cartman had to go and find attention elsewhere. He preyed upon Butters Stotch for almost six years. Even poor ass Kenny McCormick had gone to college. He became a paramedic while Kyle became a microbiologist. Fuckers. Kenny always wanted to help people and better himself. He always put others before himself. Then one day he came back to town and literally stole Butters away from Cartman. After that, all Cartman could think of was Kyle. Somehow the putrid Jew always weaseled his way back into his mind, even when he was fucking someone else. Even with Butters, Cartman would imagine that curly, red-headed Hebrew writhing under his body and the images just grew from there.

Craig Tucker and Tweek Tweak had gotten engaged during their high school graduation ceremony. It was definitely a sight to behold and not one easily forgotten. A year later they were married. As far as Cartman knew, Tweek had opened his own coffee shop in Denver, ‘Tucker’d Out Coffee’ he believed it was called. It supposedly was even better than his parents and had NO traces of drugs, making the little twitchy blonde slightly less twitchy. Craig had a job at Ball Aerospace Corporation near the coffee shop. He spent his day looking at stars and helping NASA reach them. Fucking space geek. Kyle had moved to Denver for school and now he worked at some bio-engineering laboratory and Kenny worked at a hospital somewhere in the downtown Denver area. Almost everyone lived in Denver now. Butters lived with Kenny and about six months ago fucking gay-ass Stanley came back from touring in Afghanistan. Honorable discharge so Cartman hears it. Supposedly a few months ago Stan and Kyle actually became an item and it wretched Cartman’s stomach. He was fucking sick with rage and envy. He had been there for Kyle, not Stan. Stan was a notorious alcoholic from early elementary school on into high school. Their senior year Stan held his birthday party at his parents house and got fucking plastered. He took Kyle to his bedroom and tried to drunk fuck him. Cartman saw it all through the gap in the closed-over bedroom door. Kyle had a few drinks, but he was smart enough to hold himself back. Fucking Stan, though, confessed his feelings that night. He even literally threw them up. Cartman thought that Kyle probably didn’t even realize Stan was admitting the truth; Stan’s slurred words were just that of drunken stupor. Thoughts of that night still make Cartman digest rocks. Instead of interrupting them, he just went home to jack off to pictures of Kyle he had collected over the years.

Cartman remembered the next morning. He remembered the look on Kyle’s face when he realized that Stan had forgotten everything that happened the previous night. He saw how much Kyle hurt even if he said nothing about it. Cartman and Kyle actually became really close after that. He thought he would finally have Kyle to himself once Stan was out of the picture. Kyle’s stupid super-best-friend always held him back from being happy. Low and behold, the fucking bastard came back a goddamn hero. Guess the military set his drinking problem straight because he went through police academy and was currently serving as Denver’s rookie police officer. Motherfucker. He didn’t deserve Kyle. No one did. Except Eric fucking Cartman.

That’s why over a month ago Cartman began sending Kyle texts from unknown numbers. He confessed his love for Kyle over text. He had always intended to tell him in person but Kyle gave him no choice. He knew Kyle knew it was him. He was going to have Kyle to himself whether willingly or by force if necessary. He didn’t know where the couple lived in Denver even with the extensive research on the two. This is where his plan came into play.

Cartman only had a small window for his plan to be operated. He knew Butters and Kenny were coming back to South Park for the last few months of Karen’s pregnancy so she could receive help to finish out high school. She wanted to graduate with her friends. Kenny’s weakness was always his sister and they would be in town by the end of the week.

So there Cartman was: silently opening up the window of the pregnant’s girl’s room. Oddly enough, Karen was living with the Tuckers in Craig’s old bedroom. She was kicked out of her parents house when they found out she was with child. This made Cartman have to work harder at tracking the bitch. This was the first night he had found her asleep in her bed without her damned boyfriend or having some kind of sleep over with Ike. Once the window was open, he clambered his large body through and pulled a Ziplock bag from his thick jacket pocket. Inside was a rag doused in chloroform. He opened the bag, gritting his teeth together as he pulled the plastic grips apart, trying his best to not make a sound. He quickly took the wet rag out as he crossed the carpeted bedroom floor in a few strides. He took in a deep breath and quickly shoved the rag over the Karen’s nose and mouth. It startled her enough to where her big blue eyes flew open and she struggled against him. Cartman used his weight to his advantage and pressed against her. She squirmed and tried to scream but the noxious fumes of the chloroform worked all too well. Her arms fell limp and her eyes fluttered to the back of her head. Now everything else would fall into place…once Cartman figured out how to take the limp body to his mother’s house.

Someone would realize Karen was missing, Kenny would be notified and tell Kyle. Then Kyle would text him. It was all just a waiting game now.

That’s when the transaction would take place.

A trade.

The pregnant teen for the ginger Jew.

This is my main story on AO3 and I am trying to keep up with updating it when I can. I have quite a few chapters if you’d like to read more!

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13672818