#Painful feelings part 2
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||Painful feelings Part 2: Scars heal and blooming acceptance||
Hi dears, I'm back. I’m here with another drabble but it's part two of the first drabble Painful feelings. If you wanna read the first one, just click here. Kali and Rex now. Lets see what this one speaks about shall we? Now this is a part one but part two will come later on.
||Drabble summary||
After the heated deadly battle, Rex finally admits his feelings for Kali who accidentally slashed him in the chest. Right now, she was taking that time to progress what he said to her before confronting him about this alone. Now, the two were going to speak about this. How will this go? Read to find out.
||Warning||
~Just talking or conversation and maybe a kissing scene will be present
||Guests in drabble||
Rex Oxford Mills belongs to me
Kali Vin-Shia and her fraction belongs to my rp partner/friend @demon-blood-youths
((Note: Grammar mistakes and errors are present on this drabble but this is written for fun. Thanks for understanding and enjoy reading.))
Kali couldn't believe Rex said that to her. He liked liked her! He really liked her!? HER of all people!! She was sitting down to take all this in, looking at the table to be sure she's not dreaming. Well, resulting in her cheek being a slight pink from slapping herself to be sure she's awake. This was no dream that means he was speaking the truth or she hopes he was.
However, she got word that Rex is okay from the accident attack. He was healing so it was fine but she felt bad to do that. Yeah, she was mad but she didn't want to do that to him. For now, she looks to wonder about him. Was he alright? Was he at home or somewhere else.
Thinking about it, she stood up to look down. She had to talk to him. She had to figure this out. Kali heads out of the living room of their base that Wes noticed to look over to her.
"Uhhh where are you going Kali? Is something wrong?" he asked as the others looks to her.
"No, I..I need to head out to talk to someone. I'll be back later." She said but turns to leave that left them confused. They wonder what that could be about? It had to be important if she tells them she'll be back later. Kali did leave but she was heading to Greenwitch village, Rex's territory in New York City.
~~Meanwhile in Greenwitch Village~~
"Hmm? Kali, what are you doing here?" Winter saw Kali showing up but she had her arms crossed over her chest to look at Winter.
"...I need to talk to Rex. Is he here?" she asked with Winter looking at her with a eyebrow raised.
"Yes. Sensei is in the small back house meditating right now. Why? Was their something wrong?" she asked even if she looks to Kali remember she accidentally cut him with her own Sabres. "Though, if your wishing to ask for a spar, he is recovering still. He can't fight you right now." Winter felt a bit upset when she did that to him but Kali remembers to look down.
"No, I'm not here to ask for a spar, just to talk to him. That's all I wanna do." she said but Winter was unsure. She didn't want them to fight even now due to him resting. "I just wish to talk to him that's all.."
"....And nothing is wrong that your this eager to speak with him?" Winter said.
"No, nothing is wrong I just need to talk to him. Is that alright?" she didn't look at Winter but the fallen winter maiden keeps looking to her then sighed with eyes closed.
"If you wish to speak to him you can....He's in the back as I said in the back house.." she said but Kali looks to her and relaxed.
"Thank you." she mutters and hurries along to where he was. Winter looks seeing her walk off but she goes to do her own thing so they can speak in private.
~~~~~~~~~~
Rex was sitting to drink some tea alone, already looking down at the cup as he was having his dreadlocks in a pony tail by a black strong keeping it together. He was lost in though, already wearing a new shirt while he was treated for the injury Kali gave him.
He was healed true but he was a bit sore while savoring the quiet moment. The girls were out since he told them to keep a eye out just in case since he's grounded for a while to recover. "......." he was about to move and get some food when hearing a knock. "???" Rex gets up slowly to head to the door.
"Hello? Who is-" he reaches to open it and see who it was. Standing there was Kali who was looking quiet and down at the ground. He said nothing to sense her aura before he sighed to look at her.
"Kali? What are you doing here?" He asked in a quiet tone but she looks down only to then look up at him being silent.
"Ummm, would it be possible to talk to you? It's...important." she mutters under her breath even if Rex looks to her with arms crossed. "I know you might not wanna talk but I...need to talk to you. I'll just say what is need to then I will leave. Is that fair?" she looks up to him as Rex looks to her that he sighed, turning to move so Kali can come in.
She follows him inside to carefully close the door behind her. So this was his small meditation back house. It looked pretty cozy and it was designed just like the main house. She saw it was almost like a small house for two people but he goes to sit back down at the table to where his tea was. He offers a seat for her who walks over and sits down as he pours some tea for her.
"......."
"Alright Kali, what did you wish to talk to me about?" he asked looking at her with a quiet expression on his face. She looks down at the table but was thinking on how to say this to him. Even accidentally attacking him like that, it didn't compare to what he said to her.
"....I..." She was acting shy now when what she said but it leaves her silent to sigh with eyes closed. "I wanted to say sorry for before. I didn't mean to slash you like that. I just..i was just angry from the whole thing but...I'm still shocked you told me you..."
"Liked you." He said to see her nod slowly as Kali picks up the cup to drink some of the tea. She did wonder if he was alright after but saw him drinking some of his own hot tea.
"Yeah. I am shocked you told me you like like me even after what happened even when I was shouting at you I just..I'm still sorry for that. I never meant to do that...I guess I felt angry from what happened to Ink that it was...a lot. But I still wonder do you really mean what you said when you said you like like me?" she asked with Rex looking up to her but he only lowers the cup to look at her.
"I never lie of what I say to anyone, Kali. So rest assure I meant the truth. I do like like you. I've always liked liked you but I never had the chance to put it into words. That and when you were upset about what was going on of course too." He mutters but Kali said nothing looking down at the table.
"........"
"I'm still hoping you believe me even if you were so angry about all this. I knew you were upset from everything like the cat fishes, the creeps, the dates going wrong. I know and I'm sorry you went through things like that." He drinks some of his tea but lowers the cup.
"I rather see you happy and enjoying your time with someone that really means so much to you. I've always had that wish myself. I know it was sudden but I had to tell you since I always adored you from your strength and just being yourself.." he said simply but she looks to him.
"Even after what I did, you still like like me?" she asked as Rex looks to her but he didn't say much to reach up, touching her cheek. It was gentle that made Kali quiet for a moment. He didn't say much but just held her cheek.
"I told you before, I mean what I said. I don't like lying to my friends..and I don't like lying to you. Your really important to me and seeing you happy tells me your alright. Even now, I feel like you believe me and it's still shocking to hear someone likes you like that." he explains seeing her look down.
"I know it's hard to believe me after so long and you find it hard to find anyone that would like you for who you are. I don't know what I can do to tell you that I mean every word I've said. Even when I said I like like you. Your special to me and even if you were angry your still alright.." He rubs her cheek with his thumb seeing her look at him. The two said nothing but Rex looks to her that he gently kisses her forehead to make her speechless.
He held the kiss for a moment when his lips pull back to look at her. "But, I understand if you don't feel the same way. I will still respect your choice if you..." he started to say but felt Kali touching his hand.
"......Even if everything I said that could have been hurtful and attacked you...you still..." she started to say but Rex looks to hold her cheeks again.
"I still mean what I said. I like like you, Kali and I would be happy if you felt the same."
She was speechless again but he saw her more speechless. He had to say what he said but that's when he sighed to look to the side. "Though, I hope you understand and believe me, Kali. You deserve to be happy like everyone else.."
"...I don't think I do knowing how others find it funny to mess with someone's emotions. I just wanted someone to like me and....maybe show me that they love me." she said that made Rex suddenly pull her against him as she winces to keep her eyes closed. She did open them but the two look at one another for a moment.
However, he said nothing that he only leans in to slowly pull her close and gently kiss her right on the lips. Her eyes were wide from the kiss but she closes them half way while kissing him back resting her hands on his chest carefully knowing he was still healing. The kiss was gentle but careful before they break the kiss. Rex and Kali said nothing but she looks down to keep near him.
"I still am sorry for hurting you.." she mutters.
"It's fine.....I've forgiven you a while back so your alright." he said to hugging her but she relaxed to blush again looking down to hear him ask one more thing;
"Also...I'm hoping this is alright but..would you like to be my girlfriend?" he asked but Kali said nothing to blush again but hug his arm while looking to the side.
"As long as you don't leave my side, then yes. I'll be your girlfriend. But this means your mine too as my boyfriend. Deal?" she asked as Rex sighed to hold her close by his side but a smile was seen.
"Deal." he said to kiss the top of her head but she looks down to relax by him. In the window to see, his team was shocked but finds it cute that Rex admits this but the good thing is he was able to confess and show he means it.
Kali is happy and Rex is happy. One good happy ending for both.
#IC#silver roses#Drabble/short or long stories#silver butterfly mun#peahen mom#the mansion owner#Painful feelings part 2#Scars heal and blooming acceptance#rex oxford mills#older rex#kali Vin-Shia#older Kali#demon-blood-youths#The fractions of NYC#peahen writer#young adults au#fraction adventures au
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all i have left
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#fushiguro megumi#itadori yuuji#yuuji#megumi#hhhhhhhhh why angsty mood im hurting my me :((((((#go from megumi angst 2 dumb outfits then HARD pivot back 2 angst#u dont understand th clench in my heart i get drawing th sukuna scars on megumi i genuinely hate it so much#theyre such a Part of yuuji's design tht drawing them on megumi feels so viscerally wrong n it just hammers home that nothing is alright#had to listen 2 the cutesiest music possible while drawing this 2 keep myself sane#miku miku beam th pain away :)#real talk tho like. im really not one to b terribly emotionally affected by my own art. or to draw from my Own emotional state at all rly#i tend 2 keep myself pretty distant#but theres smth abt this one man this one pulls at th kokoro :(#suffering from success ig :/#created an emotionally poignant piece n it hurt. 0/10 wld not recommend. am going back to drawing boys shirtless >:c#gna draw something else so i stop feeling genuine human emotion
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Siffrin plays Disco Elysium AU: Featuring backseat gamer Loop.
#in stars and time#ISAT#Siffrin#Loop#disco elysium#digital art#When I first thought of a crossover I went from 1) 'ISAT Disco AU but Loop is all of the skills'#To: 2) 'Loop is in the mindspace alongside the skills#To my magnum opus: 3)'Loop is sitting next to Siffrin backseat gaming him the whole time.'#Loop beat Disco Elysium ages ago and repeated it to the point they know all the vision quests and dialogue variables.#Siffrin just started playing and Loop keeps ruining the fun by using their meta-game knowledge to try and help.#Also let's be real. Siffrin's stats are 100% completely focused into motorics and nothing else.#If we can't Savoir Faire ourselves of this situation - we will explode. Endurance? Call my insurance instead.#Thinking skills? None. Emotional intelligence and morale? A failed social interaction canonically feels like death to them.#I might have bumped Phys up but...Siffrin's Electrochem stat is like -10. And Pain Threshold is emotional durability too.#Unused part of this joke is that I set their signature skill to Drama.#Both these games made my brain melt so now I get to combine them! I have that power!#This joke made me laugh the entire 3 hours I sat down and drew it and that is what creation should be about.
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the living dead
#phantoms if you will#like this gayme way more than I thought I would honestly#I feel like Igot the wrong impression from everybody#anyways#venom snake#paz ortega andrade#sniper quiet#quiet#mgsv#mgs#the phantom pain#my art#this kinda feels like a part 2 to the pw ohe
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☆ choir of the faithless
{☆} characters venti, kaeya, the abyss {☆} notes cult au, imposter au, drabble, gender neutral reader {☆} warnings violence (minor) {☆} word count 2.7k
One moment, you lay wistlessly in your bed, head full of fleeting thoughts and ideas you bounced around internally. You were moment away from falling asleep, the draw of exhaustion unraveling the threads of your mind, pulling you apart and weaving your thoughts into the fathomless depths of a boundless dream.
The next you conclude that is exactly where you must be – blinking rapidly against the bright sun that bears down upon you through the massive branches and array of thousands of leaves swaying above you. It can only be a dream because you know those roots, those winding branches and the soothing song of wind chimes as leaves rustle and sway in the invisible path of the wind. It feels too real, but don't many dreams? You reach your hand sluggishly skyward, imagining the feeling of touching those leaves so high above, admiring the way light fractures as it passes through the tree so massive it blots out the sky above you. You'd have to crane your neck just to catch a proper glimpse of solemn blue past the swaying ocean of vivid greens.
It's beautiful.
It's familiar in the way home is. That warmth that settles in your chest, the solemn, quiet moments between. You've spent hours staring up at this tree, both your first steps and your last, simply admiring it all for what fleeting moments you can cling to.
You've played the game long enough – strayed towards its familiar branches at they reach towards the heavens – to recognize Windrise at even a passing glance. The perfect portrait of Mondstadt – the massive oak at the center, the statue of the seven with its hands outstretched and its wings curled protectively around itself..a memory of something you've seen a hundred thousand times, lingering like a ghost amongst its branches and roots, clinging to its familiarity. Maybe Mondstadt isn't the most complex, or gorgeous, or detailed..but it was the first stepping stone to the world of Teyvat you knew. It was the beginning of the Travelers journey and your own – the first, hesitant step into a game you'd learned to love.
You might as well enjoy it might it lasts, right?
This tumultuous, fragile dream of yours.
You sit up with no small amount of hesitancy, taking in the rolling, distant hills and far away cliffs. Mondstadt isn't that far – far enough that it bleeds into the scenery, but you feel that pang of fragile familiarity seeing it in the distance anyway. In contrast to its nation, Mondstadt stood like a towering beacon of stability, stark grey against the ever expanding hues of green and blue, a symbol of tranquility among the monster-laden lands beyond its walls. You still come by once and a while, whether or not it's your favorite place to linger – if only to reminisce and ponder the countless hours you've sunk into the game. To take a moment and admire the nation that had slowly dragged you into loving the world you've become so familiar with, to truly take a moment and process your endless journey further, deeper, into the mystery of Teyvat as it slowly unraveled like a spool of thread.
It felt almost real. The grass beneath you, the wind rustling the leaves and swirling around you, the warmth of the distant sun as it stood unwavering at its peak – but it was a dream. Vivid, maybe, but still a dream.
You didn't want to wake up from it, though.
It'd be nice to stay here for a little longer, to be able to wander past these fragile barriers of the world around you – but would you wake if you longed to see those distant horizons? Would you even remember this dream? Maybe not.
But the endless urge to explore – to see and truly experience that distant, familiar visage for yourself – was calling. A craving to run your hand along towering stone walls, to trace the intricate lines of the alchemy table you'd used hundreds of times, to get lost in the endless books tucked away in the library..a longing that you could never fulfill.
But you'd try anyway, wouldn't you?
You'd make the most of this fleeting dream – stumbling like a newborn fawn after seelies, watching from hidden perches as the occasional cart rolled by on dirt roads, observing the distant hilichurl with a look of solemn understanding. Re-familiarizing yourself with the paths you'd traveled hundreds of times, treading along the same, curious line you'd taken the Traveler.
Maybe it was just an aspect of the dream, but the wildlife didn't run away like it did in the game – the wild boars startled when you approached, but they'd settle down and continue their idle grazing before long. The occasional crystalfly fluttered to your outstretched hands like a moth to flame, the cool, subtle touch of anemo against your skin like a soft breeze, ephemeral and fleeting.
Even the squirrels did not flee at your boundless curiosity – it is as if you are a ghost, perhaps, wandering these wide spanning plains in search of..well, you aren't sure. You let your feet guide you, just like you used to. There is charm in the aimless exploration, a sort of comfort in wandering and observing the world through new eyes.
Perhaps you should've taken more caution when you reached Mondstadt itself – a dream was a fragile thing, after all..there was no telling when a dream could meld into a nightmare. But you were in the nation of freedom, who could blame you for throwing caution to the wind?
Uncertain as your steps across the bridge were, it was tranquil – ducks skimmed beneath the bridge, fish dotted the serene surface, clear waters rippling with their movements. There was something about it all that felt more alive. It felt more real, for a moment, but what an absurd thought that must be.
A dream is no more real than Teyvat.
And at the gates of the city, at last, you feel relief – the eyes of NPCs glide over you like water over the back of a swan, allowing you to simply step past them without even an utterance of a question. Up close, with your own eyes to guide you, Mondstadt is more alive than it's ever been. The people converse and laugh and breathe – the small details you'd miss looking through the limited frame of the Traveler peek through, now.
You get so lost in admiring it all you almost trip over a cat that strays near your feet, rubbing against your ankles. Your hand twitches, as if to reach down and pet it, to feel it's fur beneath your palm – but the small voice that flows from the tavern stalls you in your tracks. You don't have to turn around to know who it is, you've heard her voice enough times to recognize it – and, really, you'd rather not get caught up in the logistics of interacting with the characters in a dream at the moment. It's not like they can see you, besides. Everyone else didn't even seem to know you were there at all.
And you were here to explore, first. You could test the limits of the dream later, once you're satisfied you've seen it all.
You sidestep the cat – as much as it pains you to ignore it, you really don't know how much time you're afforded in this dream – and take up wandering undeterred. Maybe you'll check out the library, next..you only read a measly fraction of the books there, after all, and the wonder of something new is a tempting lure. Maybe if you get the chance, you'll seek out your favorite character – even if the dream ends there, it'll at least dampen the disappointment when you awake in your own bed again.
Mondstadt is still relatively small, despite seeming so much bigger – by the time you're slinking into the Knights of Favonius Headquarters, your legs are aching from all the walking. Even if you don't find anything too interesting here, well, you'll take sitting down for a moment to catch your breath at least.
The game made it seem so easy to get from Windrise to the city, but your legs practically putty when you peered into the library with a healthy amount of caution – it's not like anyone has even glanced your way since you woke up in this dream, but you knew not to test it around Lisa and her books..
Even if it was a dream, waking up because you got electrocuted by a pissed off librarian didn't sound very appealing.
Especially because, along the way, you'd become the perch for a handful of anemo crystalflies. You'd almost forgotten some linger on the rooftops until now..well, they seemed content to just rest on your limbs, and it's not like they weighed much if anything. It'd probably be fine – how much harm could a crystalfly cause?
The steps down into the lower level of the library creaked slightly as you slowly took in the grandiose room, trying to glimpse some semblance of familiarity amongst the hundreds of book covers nestled into the shelves. Maybe having a reference of just ten or twenty books wasn't exactly the most extensive list – you could barely even remember what books you mindlessly picked up chasing glittering spots like a moth chases the flickering flame.
Maybe you'll see Venti's statue, next – it was impressive enough in game, you could only imagine how it looks in person, how the smooth stone feels beneath your fingertips.
For now, you scour the rows and rows of book, gleaning the contents of the books from the assorted covers and titles so foreign to you. You recognize a scarce few, those you picked up on your first, brisk walk through the library scouring for treasure just to be disappointed at the lack of it. These days you're just happy to bask in the atmosphere and reminisce here – unless you're dragging your feet to do your Theater for the month. Not a lot of room for reminiscing when you're busy fighting for your life to finish on time.
Still, you're almost half disappointed there hasn't been many playable characters around..sure, maybe they'd just ignore you like the other NPCs, but it'd still be nice to see them. If Dawn Winery wasn't so far away, you'd consider dropping by, just to see, but..well, you've hiked long enough, personally.
Though as much as you'd like to busy yourself in the library, you do want to make the most of your time, too. You don't pay much attention to the patter of footsteps as you ascend the stairs and awkwardly step past the guard outside the library, the brief blur of reds and blues in the corner of your eyes gone before you can truly see its source. Well, there's more to see anyway – the cathedral was impressive enough when you first saw it in game, you can only imagine it's magnificence now.
All the stairs definitely feels worse now that you can't just haul yourself up a wall like in game, though. Maybe it would've been better to rest a bit more in the library, but you really didn't want to waste this chance..how often did you really have this much control over a dream, anyway? You feel lucky it hadn't turned into a nightmare.
And it was more than worth it when you crested the top of the stairs, the wind rushing past you for a brief moment and almost making you stumble as your eyes flit towards the towering stone you'd known so well. Hands outstretched and draped in robes, looking all the Archon they are..well, it was a lot more detailed like this. The lull of music doesn't escape you, either – because of course they'd be strumming that lyre beneath their own statue. Playing to an audience who knows not the bard that plays a melody of their own triumphs. The same bard who commands the wind as if an extension of themself, their voice the chimes that sing in tune with its winding paths, free and true.
Even if you've never heard the song they play before, it leaves a warm feeling in your chest – a homesickness, maybe, for a place you've never even been to. A longing for the world made up of lines of code and pixels on a screen. Endless yearning for a world not your own – a place you don't belong.
Poetic, isn't it?
Fitting, seeing as your audience is a bard who loves to tempt another into a riddle of their own, their silver tongue used for mischief rather than malice.
It wouldn't be so bad if you woke up now, you think. Lulled back to reality by the gentle strum of a lyre and the sweeping winds.
A reality all your own.
The harsh twang of a lyre brings you out of your aimless reverie, eyes of the teal ocean meeting your own in a moment of startling clarity. You are almost tempted to look behind you, for they must be perceiving another – but the empty, hollow thud of the lyre hitting the cobbled ground is like a bullet to the chest.
Beneath the shrouded eyes of an Archon, the wind coils into a tightly wound bolt that sings with danger, the draw of a string making your blood run cold and your instincts flare up.
Before you could even process the fact they'd just drawn a bow – the bow you had given them – the pillar of the corridor shattered like glass beneath the force of an elemental arrow, rubble dusting the cobblestone and dragging you out of your horrified stupor. If it hadn't been between the two of you, you can only dread to imagine what an arrow that pulverized rock would do to you.
There's a knot in your stomach as you turn to pace right back down the stairs, but you stutter at the sharp glint of metal and familiar blue hair that stands frozen mid-step – for a moment you can't even register any of this, your mind refuses to accept the stark, bleeding truth right in front of you, but the shrill sound of anemo forces you to make a choice. You only hesitate for a moment before throwing yourself over the edge of the wall, nearly choking on your saliva when you hit the ground – it was farther than you remember, but when your other choice is a blade and an arrow, you're thankful you haven't broken anything yet as you stumble to your feet.
Why haven't you waken up yet? You don't want to be in this dream anymore – you don't want anything to do with the nightmare it's become. Just seeing their faces, familiar and once so calm and warm, contrasted with the sharp edge of danger made you want to be sick.
Water – water will wake you up, right? That always works. Your feet slip on the dirt, struggling to gain purchase, forcing yourself to rush towards the cliffs edge – you have to repeat that it's just a dream like a mantra just to keep yourself calm when you look down, the lapping waves and jagged rocks making you almost reconsider. Not that you get the chance, really, when the wood of the tree beside you is splintered so violently you can feel them digging into your skin.
You don't even realize you've lost your footing until the edge of the cliff gives beneath your heel, air rushing around you and forcing what little breath was left in your lungs out violently. Your vision blurs into a collage of blue and grey, the sky above and the side of the cliff you find yourself falling from flooding your vision – you have to trust you'll simply wake up in your bed once you hit the water. You have to.
You don't want to imagine what it would mean if you didn't.
It's just a dream – all of it is just a dream, no. a nightmare.
And as the water parts from the impact of your body against the surface, it drags you down like an anchor weighed against your chest. Your vision bleeds into white, a chill enveloping your limbs until you feel numb – dead, probably. You must be dead. You died and you plead that you wake up back at home, exhaling whatever breath you had left, cold stinging your throat like shards of glass.
Anchored weightlessly in frigid cold, blinded by stark white, your fleeting thoughts are silenced as your consciousness flickers in and out, lingering long enough only to hear the murmur of a raspy, unearthly voice.
"I believe the experiment can be considered a success, Princess."
#sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin impact sagau#self aware genshin impact#genshin cult au#genshin impact cult au#fic tag#venti#kaeya#the abyss#coughs#so#leaves for like 2-3 months. posts this. doesnt elaborate. again.#for once its not fatui/tsaritsa i know everyone is surprised#is this a one shot? is it a multi part fic? who knows. maybe#also i dont really like writing in second person but it holds some narrative weight in the sense that. well.#maybe not everything is internal dialogue/actions and theres maybe an external force here and there#but u didnt hear that from me btw :]#and yeah this is an abyss fic bc i havent written for them yet and i feel like barely anyone has. yippee#anyway. see u in uhhh another 3 months!!! happy new year ur present is Pain and Agony#runs
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does anyone else get so upset when you think about all the things that happened to your f/o... all the things they went through? all the things they haven't healed from? the pain that they may still be enduring? how you can do your best to help them but you can't protect them from everything. so you just love them the ways they needed before, how they deserved. and you see them happy because they finally accept, at least in some ways, that they do deserve it. they deserve love like all beings do
#i get so upset when i think about it for too long; i'm there for them now but there was nothing i could do; wanna go back and protect them#i'm like this with everyone i care about (real and fictional) and sometimes it's hard#it's about hans this time. i just can't believe all the things that happened to him#no wonder he's terrible! no one cared about him! why should he care! all he knows is pain and neglect! except from me!#i know why he sees everyone else as worthless because that's exactly how everyone he knew saw him first; he was supposed to be loved#they all used him up til he was nothing and that's all he knows#i can't even read certain parts of a frozen heart again because i just cried so much the first time... he didn't deserve that#no one does#and then the comics detailing it all even FURTHER#he was like any other innocent kid and seeing that progression hurt so much. i could get into the details but ugh#hux's age of resistance comic did the same thing. i can't even look at the first 2 pages; it's too much. i just want to hold him#anyway... i'm fine :') i've made a post like this before but i'm feeling it so hard right now#self ship
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actually I love Tentoo and he is the Doctor and it was the only ending for Rose that worked and it is a huge gift to be able to have the man she loves grow old with her, they were always heading for that, y'all be quiet. I 100% understand the angst but it's okay, they're okay, good ending-
#did you want her to...not end up with the doctor?#she ended up with the doctor. she ended up with the doctor and they get to AGE together#they get to have a real honest relationship the way they both always genuinely wanted#it's hard that the full time lord version has to carry on without her but that is the way that character's story ALWAYS goes#the doctor does not get to keep ANYONE. it would be a different show if he did#meanwhile there is a version of that same face of his - the one that was MADE for love? particularly born out of love for ROSE? the one 1/2#2/2 that always wanted a FAMILY? and stability? and a normal life? the tenth doctor longed for that specifically because of rose#now he gets to have it AND be part-human so he doesn't have to watch her get old. he gets old WITH HER#and they're canonically growing their own Tardis so you don't even have to be sad that they're not adventuring in time and space as usual#because they ARE. it's the kindest ending for either character. and if the full time lord hadn't left without either of them-#-he would have had to lose them eventually. lose Rose because she's human? hello? painful? but instead he was selfless and left her-#-with a proper happy ending. which she CHOSE to have so you can't be like “he tricked her!” she chose to kiss one of them and it was Tentoo#they are the same man. Rose won in this scenario.#and I GET IT I am with Billie Piper I think it will always feel a little off that she was left with Tentoo and not the full time lord#I understand. it still makes me a little sad. but I know it's a good ending writing-wise. really the ONLY ending.#yes I know about the popular idea of Immortal!Rose or Bad Wolf Rose or whatever and that's cute and all BUT - it's not a GOOD thing#it's not PREFERABLE to be immortal. Rose doesn't want to live forever. she wants to be with the man she LOVES forever.#she doesn't want to not die or adventure for all time. she wants to be there to hold his hand. and when Tentoo is born she gets THAT!#Immortal!Rose is tragic. the Doctor would not wish the burden of immortality on the woman he loves HELLO#anyway#I ship timepetals. that includes Tentoo/Rose. because he is the doctor#so there#I have more thoughts on Tentoo specifically but I digress#maybe if provoked in an Ask or something idk#doctorrose#timepetals#opinion piece#tenrose#tentoo#handy
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Its been a while since I updated this little project but heres the dealio. I got "mysteriously" sick for the last 2 months and it kinda halted my work on getting this thing physically printed. BUT IM BACK and ready to start this up again. I'm really hoping i get everything done by Jan. or very latest feb (mostly anticipating for holiday slow down)
In the meantime i got a few questions on my interest check asking if i would offer a digital version of the zine. and the answer 2 months late is YES I WILL YOU CAN GET IT NOW ACTUALLY ON MY GUMROAD OR KO-FI HURRRAYYYYYY!!!! 🥳🥳 GO CHECK IT OUT ITS $3
GUMROAD | KO-FI
#the art of a lemon wedge#homumiko#baroryuu#otasune#feel like a fucking#victorian woman in a novel the way i got sick for no reason those months#vertigo. brain fog. parts of my body would go tingley. and for 2-3 hours at a random time of the day my entire body would just feel BAD#idk else how to describe it cause it was not pain#i could not predict what would trigger those 2-3 hours of BAD and it seemed to change every day#and then some days i wouldnt get them but i would still get vertigo and brain fog whenever i would go to bed#anyways#IT WAS THE WATER#STUPID LA WATER BLEH BLEH#I WENT TO TEXAS TO VISIT FAM FOR A WEEK AND ALL MY SYMPTOMS WENT AWAY#-_-#and now im on a strict distilled/purified bottle water diet#i cant even eat food thats been boiled in whatever the hell gets put into the gallons at the store.....sigh#BUT IM BETTER#and ready to get back into it#:D
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Part 3 [end]
#satosugu#五夏#jjk fanart#soul#gojogeto#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#jjk gojo#jjk geto#gojo satoru#geto suguru#ruusuustory#no one asked but while drawing part 3 i listened heavily to utube vid ロングコートダディ和尚のゲーム念仏 ゲム友は最&高(^^)素敵な夜にレッツアマンガス#i learned two things while drawing part 3#1 eventho i draw only 1 page max 4hours a day i get burn out when i do that 3 days in a row#2 but when i ban myself from drawing for 5 days i naturally feel the desire to draw again#which leads to conclusion as a society we should shift to 3 work days and 5 rest days a week#but still i cant find balance between drawing and injuring my hip im in pain again rn#maybeeee i shuld put another one week ban in btween page 5 and 6.... ill try that next part... because i want to avoid imjuring myself#thankfully i learned to avoid not injuring my drawing hand like the old times now that i realized
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Fanart of @blood-orange-juice’s early Fatui Ajax fic “Transcendere” that I did not long ago ^^
This part’s from chapter one.
It is, as the fic’s tags say, Fluff and Angst and Humour, Slice of Life, Hurt No Comfort
(Or, like snapshots of a boy with a toy knife becoming a weapon himself, with a vaguely fantastical lens over the story♦️…to put it nicely ^^”)
#dusk fan art#genshin impact#genshin fic#Tartaglia#Childe#childe tartagalia#childe tartaglia ajax#Childe number 11th of the Fatui Harbingers ‘but I also go by Tartaglia. and you—‘#skirk#genshin impact skirk#blood#update: I’ve just finished reading the fic and#ch 2 part xiv turned out to be the most exciting section which ends the chapter nicely but also.#he really does feel alive only in those moments huh..#ch 3 pt v. Theater :D#…hm#ch 3 vi. pain. great setup. so much is conveyed in this short section#edit: ch 3 pt x —>#ch 2 pt x. PAIN. it’s the only time ‘Ajax’ is mentioned this ch 3 and there’s a subtle switch between the names Ajax and Tartaglia. hm#his response and his Father’s reaction is… ow#the first time an adult is kind to him here?#xi. ARGH. I DIDN’T THINK IT’D END LIKE THIS. feels like Tartaglia’s monologue @ audience after a performance#reminds me of Furina’s Story Teaser#Macbeth Tomorrow 3x speech?
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Ah lads, the disability… it’s disabling me again.
#truly in autistic sensory hell today#tried to get dressed - violently rejected that - everything feels like pain#unshakeably cold and sad#resigned to the fact that I can do nothing much today#it seems that I can work part time BUT if there are also 2 doctors appointments in the same week then I become unhuman#(gentle groaning)#send some nice things my way if you feel inclined
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Spoilers for Act 3 of Arcane Caitvi!
Why are both caitvi kisses interrupting incredibly emotionally vulnerable and painful moments for Vi? I know the first was intentionally uneasy because Cait had already changed and Vi knew it but??
Am I just not understanding the build up? Because both felt really. Random to me. Like "oh, I guess we're doing this now! Instead of... reassuring Vi?" ?? I'm confused. I'll def rewatch tomorrow because it's possible I simply did not comprehend the scene
#also I haven't watched ep 9 yet#arcane spoilers#???#caitvi#like i thought jinx was insinuated that she was going to off herself?? did Cait imply they recaptured her??#this is particularly just eepy brain#but I went from sobbing over Vi's pain to whiplashed by caitvi going at it#baffling#arcane season 2#i wanted to like the scene and get into caitvi so bad :(#i need someone to explain them to me in a way that assumes the best faith on my part please#i just feel gross and I can't sleep#vi arcane#caitlyn kiramman
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little story about little Eddie and his 2 new friends | word count approx 2.5k | general audience rating | steve and eddie are kids and Wayne is a pushover
Wayne sometimes thinks it was a mistake, not taking in the boy. God no, he would never think of Eddie as anything other than an important and intrinsic part of his life, couldn't be without him, wouldn't want to be.
No, what Wayne worries about is how his readiness to help Eddie feel loved might contribute to the boy's difficulty in making friends.
It was an innocent enough request, Eddie asked for a pet as all young children do. He was so small and so wide eyed, just a scrap of an 8 year old with more feelings than he knew what to do with. Wayne knew he'd never hold up against any request Eddie made but he liked to pretend to himself that he could. And while technically he never pandered to the boy, yes Eddie usually got what he wanted but in a way that suited their means. Or so Wayne tells himself.
8 year old Eddie asked for a pet and a pet is what he got.
-
Eddie barrelled into the trailer door, backpack swinging off his arm and ready to be thrown into the corner. Planning to shoot off back out the door to do his usual; lift up rocks and inspect whatever bugs he could find, to grab sticks and imagine them as wizard staffs, to let his imagination finally run wild after hours of sitting still at a desk under too bright lights and too busy class rooms. In truth he wasn't really paying attention to the insides of the trailer, expecting it to be the same as always. It took a very pointed cough for Eddie to register that Wayne was unusually home from work, far earlier than normal, and a further loud clearing of the throat for Eddie to pay attention to what Wayne had placed on the kitchen table.
Right in the middle of the table, sitting in a beam of sunlight, was a cage and in that cage was what would soon become, Eddie's very reason for being. He crept up close, almost as if scared that any sudden movements would prove the whole thing to be a cruel illusion. He was brought out of his reverie by a pink nose wiggling at the bars, whiskers attached and twitching as the rest of the rat appeared.
'is he-? is he for real?' Eddie said with a gasp, hands inching towards the door of the cage.
Wayne had to suppress a laugh, trust this boy to be bowled over in wonder at a rat as if it were a puppy. He opened the contraption of the enclosure door and dipped his hand inside, allowing the rat to climb onto his palm. The guy from work assured him that this one was the most tame he had, inquisitive to a fault and oddly enough, desperate to be handled. Quite honestly, the perfect match for his well meaning but excitable nephew-near-enough-son.
'Yeah, yeah kid it's for real. And he's a she.' Wayne lets the rat sniff at Eddie's hands, little pink hands finding a platform on Eddie's palms, clearly holding himself a still as possible but if Wayne knew this boy, and he did, he knows that Eddie is so close to vibrating out of his skin, that containing that much excitement must be killing him.
'I don't care. Wayne, I don't! Can she sleep in my room? Does she know tricks? Can I teach her? What does she like? Can I take her to school? Please! Wayne!' He's started now, words pouring out of his mouth, tripping over himself to try and release every thought entering his brain at lightning speed.
'Woah, there' Wayne says pulling the rat up, cradling it in two hands, 'We got to be kind to her alright? She's only small. Doesn't know what loud noises are good and which are bad, okay?' He watches as Eddie nods vigorously, eyes never leaving the creature. 'Now you promised me you'd look after a pet so that's what's going to happen. She is your responsibility. That means cleaning, feeding and loving, got it?' Eddie nods again, tentatively reaching his hands up, the image of Oliver Twist springs to Wayne's mind.
Wayne comes around the kitchen table, crouches down to Eddie on creaky knees and hands the rat over, filling Eddie's small hands with a heartbeat and fur. Eddie giggles, watching as the rat surveils the new patch of skin its found itself on.
'Tickles, Wayne' and its said with such love and devotion Wayne almost feels his heart break
'Yeah son. She does, doesn't she?'
-
Of course it takes less than a week and Eddie and Sam are inseparable. As soon as Eddie gets home he's itching for his furry friend, delighting in the way she scampers around the room, over his arms and anywhere she can get. No matter what though, she always comes back to him. She can be digging in to a particularly interesting crevice behind the couch but she'll always come running back when she hears Eddie make a noise.
The thing is, Eddie is a pretty lonely kid. Not for lack of trying, don't get it wrong. Eddie tries to socialise he tries to talk to the other kids in his class, get them involved in his imaginary games and play pretend but being the new kid doesn't really do him any favours. Being the new kid that lives in the trailer park and a penchant for biting to show affection does him even less.
To Eddie, its him and Sam against the world. He can come home and know that his best friend will listen to all his problems, will stay close and won't run away even when he's extra loud or being 'a lot' as his teacher like to tell him. He's so tired of being told to use his 'quiet hands', his 'inside voice' and every other subdued phrase they try to press on him.
This particular day was a hard one, Sally Winters had said that Eddie was 'bad luck' and the word quickly spread around by recess. Eddie had thought he was making some progress with a couple of kids from the class, was thinking today might be the day that he finally got asked to play but that hope quickly got squashed. He had hopped up to the potential friends with a stick in his hand and a notion of being a pirate when they both looked at him like he was a monster, they couldn't get away fast enough. And Eddie couldn't find a place to hide quick enough before the fat and heavy tears fell from his eyes.
It was a long day and home time was his only saving grace.
Wayne knows somethings up, can tell in the way that Eddie isn't even really talking to Sam, hardly looking at the Tv despite the fact that Wayne very purposefully had put the cartoon Lord of the Rings movie on. The sure fire fall back he liked to keep in his back pocket. The trump card to get his kid happy. This time though? No luck. Looking at the kid makes a chasm open up in his gut, deep and full of overwhelming sadness that he just wants to stop, wants to find the solution to make this boy smile like the sun again. They don't talk much for the rest of the night but Wayne makes sure to stay close, stay awake in case he's needed. Eddie spends the time between dinner and bed sitting on the floor, side pressed up against Wayne's leg and playing fetch with bits of Wayne's whittling with Sam, not a word said.
-
Eddie wakes up the next morning with a plan and a devil may care attitude. Oh so carefully he maintains his usual routine; says good morning to Sam, carts her around the trailer as he washes his face and wanders into the kitchen, placing her in her secondary cage so she can eat breakfast with Eddie and Wayne - Eddie was adamant that they couldn't have meals without her, 'she's part of the family!' and soft hearted fool Wayne Munson agreed and an additional cage was sourced.
When breakfast is finished Eddie begins his usual rigmarole of dragging his feet to get out of his pjs and into his clothes, reluctant to grab his bag and go out the door. Same old protests as Wayne watches him walk out towards the school bus.
What is a new addition to the routine though, is Sam Munson hiding up the sleeve of a school boy and about to go on a secret and very dangerous mission. A mission to survive the school day.
Surprisingly, Eddie manages to keep Sam secret, keep her safe, the whole morning. He came prepared with snacks to make sure she was entertained and happy, he couldn't stand the thought of her being sad, her eyes get so big and her tail droops as well as her ears, it makes the whole of Eddie ache. But no, she's happy, or happy enough at least.
So the morning goes without a hitch, Eddie making noises to cover up any squeaks and keeping a hand in his pocket to reassure Sam, stowed in the pocket of his hoodie. He knows he's seen as 'weird' so what's a few extra noises? They are let out for recess and Eddie breathes a sigh of relief, thinking this is his time to let Sam out, knowing she's desperate for some fresh air. Sure, she's peed in his hoodie pocket, but he can't really tell with it's dark colour and the layer of t-shirt between the wet material and his tummy.
He runs off to his usual corner, stuck between a bush and a tree and gently tips Sam out of his pocket, she scampers around his feet and gratefully accepts a broken off bit of cracker between her hands.
'Thanks for coming with me Sam. Everyone is so mean, its so stupid. I don't care. You are a better friend than any of those losers' He crouches down, hoping to find a twig to play fetch with. A game that he delights in, is immeasurably proud of her for learning it so quickly. 'Gonna find you the best stick Sam. Promise. Best stick for the best friend'
He continues muttering to himself and doesn't notice that he's getting progressively louder after finding a twig and beginning the game. Doesn't register that he's drawn unwanted attention with his happy shouts and encouragement until a body is crashing through the shrub he's hidden himself behind.
Sam doesn't notice either until the unexpected form is right in front of her and she bolts, running as fast as her legs will carry her and Eddie is right behind her, muttering under his breath as he trips over his own feet in an attempt to catch her 'oh shit oh no oh no oh no' He's pushing himself as hard as he can but it doesn't count for much, he never was the fastest. He keeps trying though but then a faster body is accelrating past him, in a evident bee line for Sam.
Without thinking, Eddie lets out a painful 'NO!' terrified of what might happen.
He knows people think rats are dirty, thinks they don't deserve love and don't deserve life. He doesn't want to imagine what this person's intent might be. Sam reaches a dead end up against the wall of the school and the body, the boy, stops infront of her. Scoops her up? Cradles her into his chest? Eddie...Eddie doesn't know what to think, he's prepared to fight this kid but then the boy is looking up at him with curious hazel eyes. Stroking Sam's head gently and with intent.
He holds Sam out, careful with his motions, trying to blow his brown floppy hair out of his face without disturbing the animal in his hands 'is she okay? is she yours? did I hurt her? she looks okay, is she?' Eddie gingerly steps forward and plucks Sam out of the boys hands, gives hera thorough inspection as the other boy continues
'I didn't mean to scare her I swear! I didn't even know you had her! I won't tell, I swear I wont! You know...you shouldn't really have a rat in school. If I promise not to tell can I play with you? I'm Steve'
Holding her close, Eddie squints at the boy, at Steve, and thinks. Thinks about how he looks nice, about how soft his hair looks and how he asked Eddie, Eddie!, to play, that he didn't give him a wide bearth and that he held Sam with such care. It isn't even a hard decision.
They spend the rest of recess together. Eddie shows Steve just how smart Sam. That she can play fetch, that she can run across one arm to the next, over your shoulders without losing balance. That she can twitch her whiskers and it seems like she's laughing at the joke Eddie tells her. That she laughs at the joke Steve tells her! Steve learns that she's named after somebody called Samwise and it doesn't matter that he's a boy because Sam is brave just like Samwise and smart and cares just as much. That Sam is Sam and Eddie is Frodo and together they can take on the world.
Steve asks if he can have a name too and Eddie calls him Legolas, doesn't tell him why. Doesn't say that Steve reminds him of the pretty elves described in the books Wayne reads out loud to Eddie. It doesn't matter, not really.
Recess ends and they shuffle back to the school doors, both of them lagging behind the others.
Eddie steels himself, knows he has to bring his misfortune up so that he can own in, so that his new friend doesn't find out from someone else. 'I'm bad luck you know. Sally...she said it. now everyone wont talk to me. I wont be mad if you don't either. I've got Sam. We'll be oaky! So you can just go, I don't care!' He knows he's getting wound up, he can't stop himself. He just wants the bandaid ripped off so he can start feeling sad quicker, get it over with sooner.
Before he can register is, Steve is wrapped around Eddie in a flash of a hug, careful to keep his tummy away from squashing Sam.
'Not bad luck to me. See you tomorrow Frodo' Steve whispers next to Eddie's ear and shuffles through the school door.
Eddie is in a daze of joy and happiness, thoughts rumbling through his head but none of them sticking as he journey back into his class room. Pure happiness radiating out of his body, he takes Sam out of his pocket and holds her up to his face 'Sam you made my bad luck go away!' kissing her on the forehead as he hears his teacher scream
'EDWARD MUNSON IS THAT A RAT?!'
-
So Wayne thought the already unpopular kid having a rat would make things worse. Turns out, he was wrong. Very, very wrong. He might have to start pocket inspections before school though.
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also on ao3 if that's the preferred reading format for you
#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#wayne munson#stranger things#hello is this thing on? hi ummm so i didn't think i'd write again for a very long time if ever#but choco mentioned rat boy eddie and idk this sprang forth#and i KNOW okay i KNOW its rusty and not good but i finally just wrote!! i wrote because i wanted to!! and i had FUN!!! IT DIDN'T FEEL#FORCED OR PAINFUL!!!!!#anyway i am half thinking of a part 2 but who knows maybe possible maybe not#either way it is a relief to know that i can actually have fun writing and not feel like i owe something to someone!!!!#its like when i startd back in the summer of last year!!!!!#idk man its silly and these tags are silly but i had fun and creating is fun and i missed having fun WITH it#probably wont write again for a while but thats OKAY!!!!#thank you anyone who reads this and any one who has ever been nice about my silly words#choco shout out to the jestie#okay okay sorry GBYE
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*cries*
#I remember watching part 2 of Stone Ocean when it came out and seeing this for the first time all I felt was pain#UGHHH THE FAMILY FEELS STOOOPPP#jojo's bizarre adventure#jojo no kimyou na bouken#part 6#jjba part 6#stone ocean#jolyne kujo#jolyne cujoh#jotaro kujo
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Round 1: Fake Dating vs. Redemption Arc
Fake Dating:
quick! you need someone to pretend to be your significant other for [insert social event here]! good thing you can ask your good close friend who you definitely don't have feelings for (that was a lie)
Redemption Arc:
antagonists or villains who learn and grow and give themselves another chance at figuring out what is right <3
(yall submitted fics!)
#do i feel back for making you choose?#a bit#but to be fair i feel like there are just so many good tropes...#it would be hard to not give you painful choices#fake dating#redemption arc#fic tropes#fanfic#bracket related#round 1#round 1 part 2#poll
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^_^
#very very excited about surgery like i know in a year it wont even be an issue and ill be extra happy i did it#I've kinda gotten past the anesthesia fear and i lived thru the MRI needle in my awrm so#the IV wont be too horrendous.#so right now my biggest worry is the After....#ive seen ppl say they were mostly resting in bed for like 2 or 3 days#and after that they just had to take it easy to get around but idk. im so nervous about That Part.#+ i cant. fall asleep on my back. lol. im terrified#i rly hope im so exhausted on that first day that i jst knock out upon getting home ykwim#being too aware of pain in the body makes me feel cornered in it sometimes ykwim. like i want to jump out of it ! nervous#i rly hope it doesnt hurt too bad!!!!!!! i know ppl say it feels like sore abs after workout but idk. idk nervous#talkys#especially since i have work to do! i hate feeling lazy. i dont even take naps bc i feel like its laziness i cant be out of commission for#a couple of days. WAH.#my friend had an adjacent surgery and said she woke up in a lot of pain! they obvs administered pain management#immediately but oh god. ykwim. im scared of waking up in a lot of pain being in a lot of pain
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