#PS by all means you can think i'm wrong and discuss your points! this is just a theory of mine

[emmavakarian-theirin]

in todays "it's probably not that deep but--" lucanis post:

i'm gonna start this with a bold statement:

lucanis doesn't think about rook (much).

hear me out. in inner demons, when you are in his mind, we see these ideas of how he thinks he's perceived by everyone, and how he perceives people; family, contracts, enemies. all these people are conjured in his mind, in this prison he's yet to escape. his own mind is as dangerous as he is.

when you find him, he immediately asks "what are you doing here, rook?"

he immediately knows it's you. it's not an idea of you, not a trick or the mind, it's you. "rook can't be here." and with romance specific dialogue, he says "you should go. it's better i stay here than risk losing you."

so does he want rook out of his head to stop himself from coming up with reasons to keep rook away from him entirely? is he afraid the longer rook stays and learns his mind, the more rook will fear/distrust him?

and with that, does he then do his absolute best to just not think about rook when they're not around? not just because of the demon inside him, but himself? the culmination of the training and contracts and backstabbing and torture he's endured, leaving him to think he's too broken and messy and professional for friends or anything more? as a man that has little left to lose and is afraid to do so, he's just as - if not more - afraid to gain?

that rook is the one solid and neutral ground he has and therefore doesn't want them involved in a tortured mind? and that, if romanced, that's half the reason why there's an almost kiss because he panics, "i need to clear my head"?

and then tearstone island happens, and rook is gone for weeks. they're not around anymore. the only way to see rook is to imagine them, think about them. and all lucanis can think about is how he'll never see rook again. rook's lost despite his efforts.

at that point, what's left to lose but himself?

[rmd-writes]

22, 39, and 51 for the writing asks!

29. What’s your revision or editing process like?

I tend to edit as I write - most often, when I open a doc I edit what is already there before I start writing again which means that the beginnings of my fics have been edited several times compared to the endings.

About half the time, I send my fics to a trusted friend to beta for me. I always intend to do this more often, because my writing is always better for having that feedback but sometimes I get impatient, or I don't want to bug my friends (which I know is silly because when I get asked to beta things my answer is almost always *grabby hands* unless I really don't have time).

If I've had a fic beta'd then I go through the suggested edits, review the entire doc again myself and then post it. And then, because I tend to post fics right before I go to sleep, I open the fic in the morning and find a bunch of things I've missed after it's been up on ao3 for a whole night 😅

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

I'm sharing something from a wip that I'm writing with @welcometololaland that is currently on pause while we fight with our current wips! I am fairly certain that I'm the one that wrote this section, Lola pls tell me if I'm wrong, but we've gotten to the point where we can't remember who wrote what in some parts of this!

“What are you even doing here, Mom? You never come to these things.”

“I had a meeting upstairs, thought I’d come and see if you actually turned up,” Gwyn explains. 

TK glares at her. He hopes no one else can hear this conversation, because it’s embarrassing. The fact that he works for his mother isn’t exactly a secret, but he usually tries to maintain some level of professionalism when they interact in public. Sometimes it’s impossible. 

“You know the whole point of these events is that you talk to new people, develop new relationships, not hide in the corner with your best friend and gossip.”

TK glances at Nancy who is studiously ignoring him. “Of course, Gwyn. We were just discussing our plan of attack when you came over,” Nancy fibs. 

Gwyn looks at them both sceptically. “Mmhmm. See that he actually talks to someone new tonight, will you Nancy? TK, Nancy’s in charge tonight, she’s your superior after all.”

Nancy grins at that and TK rolls his eyes. “Fine.”

“And TK, honey, do up another button, this is a networking event, not a bar.” This time Gwyn does reach out and to brush some imaginary lint off his shoulder. 

“Didn’t you meet Enzo at one of these things?” TK retorts, even as he follows his mother’s instructions and does up one of his buttons. He can see Nancy trying to hold in her laughter next to him as she mutters, “this is the best thing that’s happened today,” under her breath. 

“I did. Doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want my son representing my firm at an event looking like he’s trying to pick up.” Gwyn takes a sip of her wine and makes a face. “I can’t drink this. Don’t forget we have brunch plans on Sunday, TK. Nancy, you’re welcome to join us if you’re free,” Gwyn says as she spins on one Louboutin-clad foot and strides away. 

51. What’s your total AO3 word count?

Officially, 434,572 but that includes a bunch of collaborations so I think the actual number is somewhere closer to 340-360kk

PS. I have snippet sunday tags from @iboatedhere @strandnreyes @liminalmemories21 @reyesstrand pls consider this my snippet sunday post too!

[piracytheorist]

hey, read your answer about you being an anime only! i promise i'm not trying to pick a fight, but if you're open to discussing this a little: considering it took endo years to get to this point, it's unlikely we'll be able to get a full S3 next year since there's probably not enough manga chapters. will you be reading the manga then? ps: the manga isn't exactly. spoilers. it's the original story, no?

I don't think I'll be reading it, no. I mean, I can't be sure, my resolve may break at some point and I may indulge, but as I've explained why I'm doing it that way, I plan on continuing watching the anime first and then reading the respective manga chapters.

If I may be a little more personal here, this past year I've been stuck on a job that, while not unpleasant or demanding or exhausting in any way, it was far from fulfilling. This job's contract ends at the end of July and if I'm lucky, I may actually get a much more fulfilling job this September and be more proactive in it in general, so I'll have more time filled with stuff I like. Last fall it was Spy x Family that filled a lot of that hole, and I've been stuck all these months without that nor a job I enjoy. So I'm thinking, if I get that job I want, I'll have less unfulfilled time and thus less dependence on the show (not that I'll love the story or characters any less), so it may be easier for me to wait for ten months again for new content.

As for your p.s., by anime-only standards, yes it is a spoiler. If you go to the cinema to watch a film that was inspired by a book, you wouldn't tell someone what happens at the end if you knew they haven't read the book. That's spoilers. The book is still the original story, the film is still an adaptation, but by revealing a part of the story that a film watcher doesn't know, you're spoiling it for them - and no film watcher is obligated to read the whole book and know the whole content just to enjoy the film. And while Spy x Family is quite popular, it's not common knowledge popular. Saying "Jesus dies on the cross and then gets resurrected" isn't a spoiler for the bible or any film inspired by it because it's a millennia-old story that even many non-Christians know.

When it comes to the manga vs anime debate on what's spoilers and what's not, it can get a little tricky cause you have snobs and purists on both sides, which is why I prefer to stay away from the fandom instead of engaging and then complaining about getting spoiled, because I will get spoiled and it will be my fault. My one request is that, if someone reblogs any posts of mine, to not add any details about stuff that happens in manga chapters that haven't been animated. That's all. But no-one is obligated to read or engage with my stuff, a lot don't even see it, I'm not demanding anyone tag their spoilers on their own posts or complaining to those that don't, I recognize my own responsibility in curating my experience and avoiding spoilers and take the necessary measures to do so. So I don't see where's the problem with me, in my personal blog, referring to stuff that hasn't happened in the anime yet as "manga spoilers".

I understand you wanted a discussion, not a fight, but honestly it's a tricky issue, and I'd really really rather not get into the bad side of a purist, whether they're a manga or an anime purist. And such a discussion can be derailed very easily, so while you're welcome to discuss it with me in a civil manner, I will stop it if I feel it can get out of hand.

I'm not mad or upset at you or anything. I'm just a little wary because I know how toxic fandoms can get, especially when they hold some very passionate beliefs about what's "right" and what's "wrong" in the way other people consume fictional media.

[thaimeiser]

I thought of something and I apologize if anyone pointed that out before, I swear I didn't see it and I'm not stealing your observation.

I was talking to a friend of mine about He Tian's and She Li's obssession towards Mo Guan Shan when I suddenly realized that Old Xian is way clever than I thought. And the meaning behind that conclusion is that they could represent an obssession, the feeling of possessiveness with another person, that at the same time that is very similar, the objective behind it is totally different.

In the begining of 19 Days I have to admit that I hated the relationship between HT and MGS because it was full of possessiveness, abuse, violence and threatens. I know MGS was totally wrong in the incident with Zhan Zheng Xi but I saw no reason to He Tian's continuous actions towards him. It was only with time and perseverence that I learned how to start really liking their relationship.

As I was discussing with my friend, HT's past is what made him behave like that. He didn't have a mother nor a father to actually care about him, only He Cheng but he was involved with the mafia, the thing HT hated the most so you can guess what type of teen he grew up to be. A person without almost any sense of love or affection, a person who wasn't familiar with the idea of what caring actually is. So when MGS stepped into his life he did to him the only thing he knew to do. Demonstrate his feelings through domination and possessive behaviour, because that was what life teached him to do/be. Being selfish and doing what he "needed" to get what he wanted.

I'm not gonna waste too much time talking about all the aspects about HT and MGS relationship, but in summary I can say that I'm really proud of our boys. I'm proud of HT for starting to realize that this wasn't the way it was supposed to be, he wasn't going to get MGS trust or love by being a total asshole and forcing the boy to like him. His character development is still on-going, he still gotta a lot to learn, sometimes we can forget but they're still teens. That fact won't erase the very bad things he did in the past, nor do I want it to because it all shows how much our boy has improved through time, but it shows that he can be very mature for boys his age.

Whilst we see the development of HT, we see the decay of She Li to his worst period. She Li's obssession with MGS can be clearlier than HT's because he isn't after MGS love, he is after MGS undoing. He wants to see the boy wrecked, destroid and he makes it very clear.

In my point of view based in what we could see about She Li's childhood, he's also from a complicated family. His parents seemed to argue a lot to the point where their kid was being taken care by some servants, and I suppose he grew up like HT, without enough love or affection. That made him cold and distant, and with a strange fascination for d*ath and hurting people/animals. He's described as a ps*cho. I can't confirm if he really is one, but his obssession and need to dominate and humilliate MGS is an enormous red flag.

In this chapter we can see the difference between him and MGS, how they were treated. I don't think jealousy is the best word to describe what he might have felt, cause I'm not sure if he's actually capable of feeling it, I'd rather say envyness. He's envy because that little boy was feeling and having everything he didn't get the chance to experiment. MGS was feeling pain, a sensation that She Li couldn't, and was being held caringly by his mother, another thing She Li didn't have.

She Li, then, found the opportunity and started to treat MGS like an animal, "his dog", so he could take out his anger and frustration on that lucky boy who had everything. I believe he enjoys seeing MGS miserable because that's the only moment where he can actually feel something. He must feel powerfull and proud of himself for making MGS look so pityfull.

And that is the biggest difference between HT's and She Li's obsession towards MGS.

While HT seeks for MGS attention, love and affection, She Li searches for his ruin so he himself can feel something.

HT feels a desire.

She Li feels envyness.

Even though they both have a similar past and a possessive obsession with the same boy, they followed extremely different paths, in which one can find hope and the other decay.

And I admire Old Xian for creating such similar, but at the same time, opposite characters.

Yet again I apologize if someone pointed that out before and I apologize for any errors, english is not my mother language.

[nyxreads]

Am I the only one that's pissed at Rhysand for telling Azriel to stay away from Elaine? I get that he's probably not wanting him to mess up things with Lucien because of the mate bond or whatever but usually if that was going to happen Sarah would of had them fall in love first before they find out they're mates it's what usually happens in her books even in CC.

Hello anon!

I mean, what you feel is valid. And idk if other Elriels felt the same way (maybe some are) but honestly anon, even tho Rhysand ordered Azriel to stay away from Elain, I kind of like it since he gave us the forbidden romance lmao. However, there are actually three reasons why I think Rhys did that:

First: (I'm basing this on SJM's way of writing) Maybe SJM wrote it there for the possible conflict in acotar5 and we know she has this "staying away" pattern for her endgame couples. Rhysand avoided Feyre for 3mos, Cassian avoided Nesta for almost a year and now Azriel avoided Elain for months. If Rhysand didn't ordered Az to leave Elain alone, we will never have this one (of the many) endgame pattern in acotar series.

Second: (s/o to @tessacursebreaker for being kind and confirming about the mate behavior) so when it comes to mating bonds, it is usually males who have a harder time dealing with it. If rejected, it can drive them into madness. Plus, they have this feeling of "entitlement" to their mate and they could invoke a blood duel (https://acourtofthornsandroses.fandom.com/wiki/Mate). So, despite Elain and L*cien not wanting the bond, it'll be so much harder than what we think esp for L*cien. Rhysand considered the possibility that if rejecting L*cien would drive him mad or a possible duel (or Az could kill the poor man), this will taint the alliance, which leads us to the third reason

Third: It is more of the politics and peace between courts, we know there's still another battle/war coming, and breaking of alliance would be another weakness so Rhys, as a High Lord, have to prioritize his court and people:

You see, Rhys is afraid to make one wrong move against L*cien and is quite willing to use Elain. They did it once when Feyre went back on the Spring Court. They don't trust L*cien enough, so to protect the NC they have to make Elain as a pawn:

In the Bonus Chapter, it seems like Rhysand has no choice but to use any possible means (including Elain), why? Because L*cien have the knowledge/information regarding the NC. He cannot risk it especially now that everything between L*cien and the IC is not going on the right direction :

They have to play safe for now. Rhys couldn't risk his court. So despite every choices Rhys made (whether we think is wrong or right) High Lord acts according to what he thinks is the best for the court.

I think this what makes acotar 5 much more interesting, there's so many things at risk. There's still unresolved problems. And there's Elain's CHOICE. There'll be confrontations in IC, possible breaking of alliance. What Rhysand do is not entirely right (but who the hell does when politics and powers are being discussed) but that one "stay away from her" scene is a great set up for the next book. Especially for Elriel's forbidden romance.

ps: Regarding the mating bond between El*cien, i actually love your point that sjm has this pattern of falling in love first before the bond takes place. And it's not a coincidence that she hinted about: choice, two mates, true mates. And who falls in love first before "sensing" the bond? (There's actually a lot of theories regarding Elriel as true mates so this is still another pattern for us, ig)

But all in all anon, what you feel is valid. We have different point of view regarding on Rhysand's decisions. Hope sjm would clear everything in acotar 5!

Have a great night/day ahead!

[goldenwitherphoenix13]

Its time for a probrably wrong union X theory!

Welcome to my first ever attempt at a theory.yall are here to watch ne be wrong. Lmoa.

Union X is coming to an end and its time share with you my big end game theories connecting the dots of kingdom hearts 3 and Re:Mind to Union X. And that is by using some solid evidence from the games and from the light novels. Yes. I'm going there.

This first bit is to do with the idea that Vanitas is the Darkness that possessed Ven in Union X. Now, this could easily be disproven right? Well I think I can actually bring validity to it.

Fist there's the obvious evidence that Vanitas claims that "what I am is Darkness" in Kingdom Hearts 3 and hes been a part of Ven longer than he thinks, he was only extracted is something he mentioned in Re:Mind. This can be written off by him being all the pure darkness in Vens heart, but could be taken as him being the entity darkness.

Ok. So, remember how I said I would talk about the light novels? Well, in said light novels, Vanitas is said to originally have no face/true corporeal form, having the form more like dark Rikus outfit thing, but thanks to Sora touching Vens heart, he gained a more humanish form.

Well.... darkness in Union X...

uhhhh....They have... no form. Just a cloud of purple and black with a figure resemblent of a human form in the center, if you look closely.

And if it were extracted from Vens heart by Xehanort to make Vanitas, that means darkness returns to lay within Ven dormant after the Union leaders defeat it, even when he travels to the time of Birth by Sleep! That or it has left remnents of itself within him to ensure darkness will follow into the future. Either way, it or part of it was in Ven until Xehanort took it away along with the natural darkness of his heart.

But if that's the case, then that would mean Vanitas wasn't technically a part of Ventus, but had resided there so long that that's what he believed. Because memories are stripped when they time travel. Does that effect darkness? Making it thinks its always been Vens darkness and Vens Darkness alone all this time.

Now for things to get a bit wonkey

There's still a big question lurking. What the hell is up with Dark inferno X? (chi pronounced key) its picture is below.

The bio from Re:Mind states "The darkness that erupted out of Ventus's heart and turned into an aggressive heartless. But the voice that was heard at the time intimated that it was "darkness" itself. What did that mean..."

INDEED WHAT! 

Well, let's not forget the basic rule of the Kingdom hearts universe. If your heart is lost or Overcome by darkness it becomes a heartless. 

Xehanorts heartless, Ansem, possessed Riku in Kingdom hearts 1 when it became a weak heart like spirit... who's to say other heartless who are strong enough can't do the same thing? And the design... who is one person with similar attributes like... a scarf, that Ventus at least encountered or knew?

Ephemer.

Quick point I'll refer to later, but remember, we see Ephemer help Sora with the light of the past later on in kingdom hearts 3. The keyblades all come to life with the hearts of the fallen weilders and stuff and Sora surfs them because video game. Now, this bit is a little confusing. What was Ephemer doing in the white void? Was that a ghostly form of his nobody or something? An appiration? Just his ghost? The moment he arrived in the future?

Well, the moment of him arriving can be crossed of I think. Where did he go if that were the case? Ephemer appearing in that moment does throw a spaner in the world, but I might be able to pull it out and fix the theory prediction.

My theory for this part is that the Ephemer we see in KH3... is Ephemers nobody in a ghost like form waiting for his heartless, Dark Inferno X.

His heartless must of found a way to hide or travel through time and went to hide within Ven's heart like Ansem did to Riku, but it has to be after Vanitas was removed. Otherwise, Dark inferno X would of been extracted by Xehanort too. The entity of darkness or its remnents, however, was with Ven when he travelled through time.

I think the best answer is Ephemers nobody died in the travel or after, is now a spirit, and helped the heroes of light. He's just waiting for his heartless to be destroyed so he can return as his somebody. And now that Sora has defeated it... who's to say we won't see him soon.

Oh and I think the secret Dark Inferno X boss in 3 was just a test for the remind one and went through a minor design change. Image comparison below, pictures from Google.

Kh3 Re:Mind

The unversed floods did the same thing between birth by sleep, bbs final mix and 3 after all going blue to purple and back to blue (I like them purple).

I really don't want to believe that it was Strelitzias heartless and that she might be able to return. I'd rather her remain a permanent death like the keyblade wilders of Union X, Master Eraqus and Master Xehanort. Its nice having a concept of death in Kingdom Hearts.

Where was I? Oh yes. I think Dark inferno X is Ephemers Heartless.

Now for one more problem. How Dark inferno X got to Ventus.

From what I see, it has 2 routes.

1: use the Ark and escape into the future. This leaves only a broken pod in the Union X time so Blain can not join the other leaders. Ephemer just has to wait. The only problem here is how Dark inferno X located Ven and got into castle oblivion without a hitch. Though I guess it did have 10 years to look.

2: hide in someone's keyblade. We've seen hearts contained by keyblades so I don't see why it can't happen again. A curse to the masters defender. I think it atratches its heart to the keyblade and thats how it escaped into Ven. When Aqua left him in Castle oblivion, the heartless snook away and hid within him, waiting for Vens heart to arrive so it could hide better and we could get the scene in Remind.

Either way, thats where Ephemers heartless would reside until it was reawakened.

So, to summarise what we've discussed into a timeline.

The Union leaders battle and defeat Darkness. Maybe temporarily, maybe for good. We don't know until its too late. It probably starts talking about some cryptic stuff, quoting things yet to be heard, who knows. This is where I believe Darkness overtakes Ephemer and turns his heart into dark inferno X (hence why it introduced itself to Sora as Darkness in Re:Mind. In a panic, Skuld and Blaine probably carry their unconscious friends out and flee to the ark, the time travel pods, darknesses remnants inside Ventus's heart and stays dormant until they are brought out. After waking the other 2 up and healing them Skuld, Lauriam and Ven go though the Ark pods, possibly joined by Elrena, and Blaine then stays behind and searches for Ephemers nobody. Hoping to reunite and reconnect the dark inferno X to Ephemer. 

Dark inferno X then hides away or travels to the future. I mean, I don't expect it to fit in the ark pods, but it might hide away in there or something. If it does then heres the first scenario.

There is one broken pod left. Blaine does his best to fix it, but its not safe enough so Ephemers nobody dies going through and it ends up as a spirit thing, waiting and searching for its heartless. Oh! And Blaine doesn't figure out how to properly build the things so he decides to remain in this time.

Dark inferno X then searches attaches to Ven to hide away.

The other scenario is it hides away in masters defender and slips by then. Blain sends Ephemer through, but since he's a nobody, things don't go smoothly and Ephemers Nobody probably dies in travel.

The generations pass and everything happens.

Dark inferno X is defeated by Sora.

The end game is coning.

And that's it. That's the whole theory. Here's to hope the Union leaders come out on top in the Union X finale, Sora is saved in the next game and Ven finally gets therapy once he recovers these memories. Actually let's order therapy for everyone! 

Also speaking of Ven, Nomura, if you hurt my boy again, I'm gonna punch you.

Theres a reason I made this cringy meme! (art of Ventus by me its one of my older arts of him)

Phoenix out!

(Ps: reply or reblog with inaccuracies)

[bisluthq]

I was thinking about it, and Taylor is practically out at this point to anyone who's willing to see it. There's no het explanation for Gold Rush, or Dorothea, or even Seven tbh. She looked us dead in the eye, said "gay pride makes me me", and then deliberately included that in her documentary. She even explained to us what happened with Karlie, in the Entertainment Weekly August interview, in Closure, in Its Time To Go. I do get the people that say "I wish she would do more for the LGBTQ+ community", but I do not get the people that need a stronger signal or something. This is it, she's been doing this since Breathe. She is practically screaming it at any and everyone who is willing to listen. She's with Joe, she did not need to write or release any of those songs I name checked above, but she did. I totally agree with your read on it, she is bi and she is in what she thinks is her endgame relationship. She's not going to "officially" come out unless they break up and she gets with a woman, but she did soft-come out for anyone who was willing to see it during Lover, and she has leaned further into it rather than distancing herself with Miss Americana, Folklore, and Evermore. She did not need to talk about long hair in Gold Rush. She did not need to call Dorothea "honey". Five years after kissgate, if gay rumors did bother her then she wouldn't do any of this stuff but she's choosing to, over and over. As far as I'm concerned, she's out, for anyone who'll see it. She's not terrified and she's not hiding. If people want to say she should be even more courageous, and she should come out officially then sure whatever I'm not going to speak on that. But when people still say she's "ashamed" of herself or she might be straight or she's just terrified and big bad Tree Paine (whose salary Taylor pays) is FORCING her into the closet it's like come on. Look at her choices for the past three years. We know she's on the internet, we know she knows what we're saying about her, she could have made it ANYTHING, but no, she stood in a glass closet in the Willow music video. I feel like you agree with >80% of what I'm saying (PLEASE correct me if I'm wrong) so I'm not ranting at you, but for fucks sake. What more do people want. She has told us over and over again and again that she's not straight. Also, this is probably all she's going to do for the near future, and I personally am not going to begrudge her for living her one and only life the way she feels most comfortable. It seems like people want "more" from her and it's like what do you want her to do, drape herself in rainbows and dance around the country? Oh wait, she's already done that.

I agree with way more than 80% of what you’re saying. The most likable - least deluded, least mean, least egotistical - Taylor is a bi!Tay. It means she’s not a dirty liar like the gold stars claim and it also means she didn’t make gay pride about herself because she’s a nutty straight lady like the hets say. Just v simply.

Look if she comes out and says she’s bi/fluid she will face so much garbage that like... for why? It will not be enough for a lot of the gatekeepers and it will be far too much for the right wing and a lot of standard eye roll at Tay types will say she’s done it for “attention”.

I mean Harry is out even louder than she is. He explicitly said, in answer to whether he uses queer coding as baiting, that he does not. His close friend and mentor explicitly talked about him dating men and women in Rolling Stone. He has said “we’re all a bit gay”. He regularly drapes himself in bi flags and has been on national tv with bi colored nails. And people still don’t believe him. Now someone can say “oh it’s because he hasn’t said the magic word bi” but like.... if he does, do we really think that much will change in terms of how he gets discussed? People will still eye roll.

Tay seems to be pretty openly living her truth rn. She didn’t “hetsplain” heavily queer coded songs like seven and let’s see what she says about Dorothea and Gold Rush. But like. So far she hasn’t.

Like you say WHAT MORE DO PEOPLE WANT and WHY do they want it? Because it doesn’t seem to be for Taylor lmao she is fine. Is it to get more bi representation? If that’s your point like... boost out people who have a glass ceiling Tay doesn’t rn. Is it because you think she’s a lesbian? I mean we don’t know what she identifies as in her heart of hearts but she has dated and evidently cared about men so I don’t think she would come out as that anyway so manifest more lesbians in music and support the girls currently out and proud.

Or is it just to prove we’re right? Because that’s a shitty reason to want someone we respect, admire and highkey love to expose themselves to oodles of hate tbh.

PS one thing I semi disagree with is the glass closet in willow which to me is more a metaphor on fame and getting stuck and stuff. But you’re right in that if she was trying to get rid of gay rumors she wouldn’t keep referencing fucking closets she isn’t stupid 😭🤷🏻‍♀️

[ailuronymy]

Hello! I was searching for some trans warrior cats post on Google when I saw your account, I would really like some advice for handling a trans warrior cats character I'm writing in my AU.

He presents as a she cat at the beginning but later on comes out as trans, I was wondering about how should I approach the transition itself. The first ideas I had are: for him to do vocal exercises with the medicine cat which will help lower his voice (that is one of his main insecurities) , his clan mates will switch to male pronouns and he will get extra food so he could grow larger and more masculine looking (Cats that have a stable diet while they're growing are going to be bigger and stronger) along with herbs that are supposed to stop/repress ovulation in she cats (I'm not that great at biology but I think that would also affect his hormone levels)

Do you have any other ideas?

PS: Thank you for your help and time!

Hello there! Thank you for writing in, but I’m sorry, this blog is not here to provide this kind of help. If you look in the tag here, I’ve done what I can in the past and I hope some of it is useful to you, but as I’ve said before, I’m not looking to talk more on the topic. It’s not wrong to want to write about trans characters, so you’re not in trouble for asking or anything, but I’m not comfortable being consulted for this information.

In fact, if I’m totally and maybe a little brutally honest with you, I think that if you’re at the stage of writing about a complex and highly personal experience where you’re asking random strangers on the internet for advice, you’ve probably got a little way longer to go before you’re ready to actually write about the topic and I’m sorry if that’s difficult to hear. My guess is that you’re probably not transgender yourself, because otherwise why would you be asking me about it? Surely you know your experience better. 

I don’t think that means you can’t write about this topic eventually and I think there is genuinely a good intention in trying to seek out information, but please consider the sources from which you’re seeking this information. There are literally books (both fiction and nonfiction) written by transgender people and I feel like reading work by those people--i.e., the people who have first-hand experience--is a great place to begin learning about how to write on this topic. 

I know you’re coming to my blog because it’s about Warriors and you’re looking to write about a transgender cat, but I think before you can try to transpose this concept onto the world of Warriors, you need to really learn about the concept itself in detail from a variety of sources and then you can focus in on how it might be interpreted in a different context--i.e., in cats. 

For example, you’ve mentioned “male pronouns”--but actually there’s no such thing as male pronouns. He/him is traditionally assigned to men, but there’s a lot of lesbians who also use those pronouns. There’s nonbinary people. There’s a lot of transgender women who haven’t come out. I understand what you mean to say when you say that, but pronouns are actually just one aspect of identity and performance of self and they’re as fluid and open to interpretation as the rest. 

It’s all constructs and I personally think if you want to write in a space that is actively discussing gender and what gender is and what gender can be and the kind of inherent boundary-breaking and remaking and reworking that comes with that territory, it’s worth really sitting down and thinking about these things and being careful with how you actually want to position your character and story and the language you use, etc. etc., and again, I think if you’re asking me for guidance, there’s probably a chance you’re not quite there yet. 

I want to mention as well that “coming out” stories in general are greatly over-represented when it comes to ‘queer’ stories by non-queer writers in mainstream media. You’re writing fanfiction for fun and that’s allowed and okay, but it does seem that the story you’re looking to tell is ultimately about this character coming out. You’ve focused a ton on the transition aspects of this character and if I’m totally honest with you, that strikes me as maybe not a great move, since it’s a very cis approach to writing about transgender characters to fixate on the “process” (often with an invasive, objectifying kind of lens). I’m not saying that your intention or necessarily what your story would be, but I do feel it’s worth pointing out so that you can be sure to avoid it. 

Also, as a side note that might interest you, cat voices don’t actually work like human voices. In human sexual dimorphism, testosterone levels rising in puberty result in a low voice--but cats don’t experience this in real life! Male cats don’t have lower voices than female cats, and the spectrum of “normal” cat voices can span from the very high to the quite low and gravelly regardless of the cat’s sex. To offer an anecdote, I have a skinny old Siamese who has an extremely deep yowl (which his mother also had) and a fluffy ginger cat with a very high, squeaky chirp, and they’re both male and desexed. So basically what I’m saying is transposing human experience onto cats (or frankly any animal) in this instance might be less straightforward than you’d expect, depending on how many cat characteristics versus human characteristics you want to include. 

Anyway tl;dr: I strongly recommend undertaking genuine research into lived transgender experience as written by transgender people before attempting to tackle any kind of story like this. You’re welcome to look through the tag I’ve got on this blog for ideas on adapting that research to a Warriors context when the time comes but I really have to stress that this is a topic that requires effort, humility, and a willingness to both learn and acknowledge the limitations of your own perspective as a writer. I’m sorry if that’s not the feedback you wanted to hear, but I can’t in good conscience not say it. 

[one-abuse-survivor]

hi, it's the milky way again

it's been a while since i've dropped something in your mailbox

i've now finished the school year and the grades and reports are coming in tomorrow or the day after. i'm kinda scared of them because i know they dropped a lot since last year but i'm pretty sure i passed most if not all of my courses so i think it'll be fine.

i started working a summer job a week ago and i'll be working the next week too. it's mostly because i need the money so i can replace my broken phone but also because we had to do some kind of job/workplace experience thing because of our school (that was voluntary though because of covid). the job pays really well so i might also get a new binder with the money since the one i have now is falling apart. on the other hand, working 8 hours a day for five days straight has really taken all of my energy and i can't listen to music while working which makes it a lot harder. the last week i've mostly been coming home in the evening, maybe eating something and going straight to bed.

(also i got my period last thursday and i hate hate hate it so much it makes everything so much worse even without the dysphoria it's just so messy and annoying to deal with)

a week ago i finally jumped over my shadow and talked to my mom but it was a huge disappointment. i'm pretty sure i couldn't get my point across in a way she'd understand and she kinda just admitted not being able to help after saying a bunch of things that really hurt. i removed myself from the situation by "going to bed" aka going to my room, locking my door and crying myself to sleep. i was just really pissed off and talking to her was kinda my last resort for when i realized i couldn't help myself anymore.

anyway, the day after that was monday (when i started working) and me, running on barely any sleep because the night before was a disaster, had to somehow survive work and i'm pretty sure i ignored or snapped at a lot of people that day which i feel kinda bad for.

on wednesday after work i talked to my mom again because i was pissed off and couldn't let it sit. she said the same kind of bs she had used on sunday and we got nowhere, since then i've probably been a lot less friendly to her but i'm just not ready to give up so much energy for her.

her favorite arguments we're things like "but others have it a lot worse" (which is a mindset i've worked on getting away from for quite a while) (also my mom was referring only to my grades with this but little does she know that the only reason why my grades aren't dropping that badly is because no matter how bad i got mentally, i yeeted stuff like self-care before school because school had always been structured and mostly clear while life in general was just. not.)

other arguments she used were "just get off your phone and set a timer for 45 minutes and concentrate on what you wanna get done" and "just pull yourself together, it's not that hard" (those were about me saying that i struggle with starting tasks and getting shit done)

lastly she also said that my expectations are just way too high and that if i didn't expect only the best from myself (this was about grades too) i wouldn't get so disappointed if i didn't get that great grade i was hoping for. and like, she's not wrong but if you've only ever been good at one thing in your entire life and you were really good at it, then you'd just expect nothing but the best from yourself because you know reaching that isn't impossible.

and she ended it with "what do you expect me to do?" and "i can't help you" and i realized later that i just should've said that she should help me get someone that *can* help me, like a therapist or something.

anyway, i'm proud of myself for finding a summer job and finally talking to my mom and not so proud of my grades and the fact that i can't seem to get the point across to my mom

thank you for creating this safe space for people like us, i wish you a happier time than the one i'm having :')

milky way here :|

got the reports and grades and stuff yesterday and i'm just :| about it. like, yea i know i'm still somewhere at the top of the class and that i'm more than one and a half grades better than some others in my class but i'm still upset about my grade in maths for example but my parents laughed/chuckled at me when i was upset and that really hurt

and afterwards my mom said something along the lines of "yes you're allowed to be stressed but because of your good grades you don't have the right to complain about being stressed" which is absolute bs and i still don't understand how having good grades disqualifies one from complaining and i'm sure as hell not gonna ask her

i just wanna scream in her face but i'm pretty sure she'd slap me if i did that

i'm almost done with my summer job and since monday noon i had the chance to work in a different part of the factory which is a lot less uncomfy to be in because it has AC and since it's not in the lab itself, i don't have to wear a hair net, an overall, steel-toed boots and rubber gloves.

today i set myself a few goals for the summer break and for the next school year and i really hope i can get through with those because it'd make future-me extremely happy

have a great great time :D

and PS: since tumblr has been eating a lot of notifs lately i missed a lot of your posts and i tried filtering by the milky way anon tag but only one post showed up. i'm not sure what's up with that tho

Hi again! Don’t worry, I got you. Here’s a link to all the asks you’ve sent up to this point: first, second, third. All of them are tagged, but the tumblr search engine isn’t exactly known for its accuracy. I use the tumblr original post finder site for this stuff, but I just realised by looking for your asks that the site takes capital letters into account, so the ones that were tagged with a capital M in Milky weren’t showing. They all do show now that I changed the M to lowercase. So I’ll have to try to be more consistent with that from now on 😅

On to your asks. First off, congrats on finishing your course! And I really hope you can replace your phone and your binder :D sorry about getting your period, though, that really sucks :(

I think the conversation with your mom that Sunday is the one discussed on the third ask I linked. I'm really sorry the same thing happened on Wednesday. It's not your fault you can't get across to her—she's the one who should be open to helping you and offering possible (actual) solutions to the problems you're bringing up to her, and not you who should spell out every single thing she can do to help you. You're not being unclear to her—she's being obtuse and refusing to listen.

You're not meant to know how to just "pull yourself together", and you're absolutely right that your grades not dropping all the way doesn't mean you're not struggling, and you still deserve help so you don't have to jeopardise your mental health for your grades. And while she's right you don't deserve to be so hard on yourself or to expect perfection from yourself, that's also something that you deserve professional help with. Again, you're not meant to know how to just turn off those emotions and thought processes.

*hugs* sorry your math grade wasn't as high as you'd hoped. It's okay to be upset and disappointed by that, and I'm so sorry they laughed at you. You do have every right to express your emotions, and you're not being unfair to anyone else for being unhappy with your own grades. I often feel the same! I get really good grades (as I think I've already said), and I also often feel disappointed when a grade isn't as high as I'd hoped. There's nothing wrong with feeling that way. I'm really glad you know what your mom says is bs, because it really is. It's no wonder you feel like screaming in her face—she sounds incredibly frustrating, exhausting and invalidating to deal with. You deserve so much better than this 😔

I'm so glad you're proud of yourself! I'm really proud of you too for everything you've accomplished despite her being so unhelpful and invalidating, and I really hope you're enjoying the rest of your summer holidays and you can reach your goals! And if the occasion arises and you do end up using the "you can help me find someone who can help me" line, I hope it goes better. But if not, again, please know this is an issue of her refusing to listen, and not of you being unclear about what you need.

Sending a huge virtual hug ❤️

[reysccp]

Thank God I read Vogue before reading Tumblr

I loved the article. I understand people feeling sad an pessimistic, but for me it was totally a step on the right direction. It could be part of a coming out plan (that we don't know if is still up, but I'm leaning on thinking it is, although delayed). 90% of the interview was about gay topics. She didn't say she was straight. The Toe insertion was a editor thing and it even said we might assume it, making clear Taylor never mentioned him. The interviewer was very suspicious of her all the time, saying how she control everything, talked about her many layers and easter eggs and how she couldn't grasp everything about Taylor.

Even her fabricated dialogue with Todrick, which he spoiled us before, was great. She realized her friends and fans didn't know her stand on gay rights can be easily extrapolated to realize her friends and fans don't know she's gay later.

Gay rights, sexism, artists rights. That's her politic stances. Everyone can see she's not venturing into politics she doesn't belong. She's not talking about racism or immigration or environmental crises or any of the so many topics I'm sure she really care and has much to say. She's advocating for Gay, Woman and Artists. It's deeply personal and anyone can see it.

So we get to the controversial quote: she's not part of the community. What does that mean?

To me it means she's still in the closet and that's it. All the anti-gaylor can breathe for a moment while it lasts. Homophobia is going rampant on social media, they are all calling us out. Fuck them, we are used to it by now.

Some people I reblog earlier cleverly explained how it was a vague and ambiguous quote, to be honest I didn't even notice the first time I read. I think most of general public won't notice it either. They are not like anti-gaylor trying so hard to find proof she's straight, general public is thinking "hey this straight lady won't shut up about the gays uh?" And there it goes... another little seed has been planted.

But, anyway, she's still in the closet and Toe is still around like a dead corpse someone forgot to bury.

I don't know if we were too much optimistic before or something really changed. I'm inclined to think I personally was over optimistic an I chose to ignore some blogs warning us to be careful. It's ok. She's not out yet but she's still in this direction. I believe karlie's troubles are really difficult and who knows maybe there are even problems on Taylor's side too, her fight for her masters, new contracts, we have no idea.

To be honest I even like the idea that she's yet to come out properly. I really don't like the take "let's imply that I'm bi with hair colors and bracelets while dating a man" when we know the boyfriend is fake. (To make it clear there is nothing wrong coming out bisexual while dating a man, I'm talking specifically about Taylor when WE KNOW toe is fake).

I expect so much more from her. She's brave, she's strong, she's smart, I'm not worried about her breaking my heart.

Ask your "2016 pre-reputation" self if you would ever believe she would release the YNTCD video? She clearly put herself in the community there. Now she's saying she's not.

I'll always trust the art over the PR.

(Otherwise I would have to believe YAIL is about Lena Dunham... argh)

So this interview got me thinking about what I am expecting from Lover.

Politics. Looks like the next single is the song she talked about being a man that will take on sexism on music industry. Wonderful. Interesting that she's choosing the political songs over the romantics for singles. Also to notice if there is any subtext that in her imagination being a man would mean she could also date women openly. She could hint bearding too. This song could be gold.

There won't be anything UNAMBIGUOUSLY gay on the romantic songs. It will be rep level of gay which is pretty gay for me.

It will punch a lot more holes on Toe timeline. A LOT. At this point if she doesn't start to heavily stunting with him (and I don't think she will) swifties are not buying Toe anymore (except the very naive or homophobic ones). There's just no more reasons for secrets or to not go to red carpets and awards together or mention each other in interviews. Some events are coming soon and we'll see if she'll step up the stunts to make Toe fit the "engaged couple ready to marry". I don't think she will do it.

Lover will be KAYLOR KAYLOR KAYLOR. She's going to sing about being commited/engaged/married and at the same time all the difficulties and troubles and secrets and that sad shit we know is going on with them. Again we are going to say "why this boring white straight couple need so much secrecy and what fights they need to fight to be together? Time zones?"

And she just spoiled us this

This lyric is KAYLOR af, and it has been buried beneath the "not part of the community" quote commotion.

To conclude I just want to say it feels like there is so many narratives she's telling right now.

She's telling a romantic straight narrative because she's keeping Toe around. She's telling gaylor/kaylor narrative because the visuals and themes are all about it. She's going for a more political approach and she's also focusing A LOT on a younger demographic. Younger than the 30/20 swifties that grow up with her, maybe she's targeting their children I don't know. I didn't expected this but definitely it's a thing.

That's why when we look at everything together it seems very contradictory and feels like she's going forward and backwards with the coming out at the same time.

I'm not an specialist in PR but this feels like what's going on in politics where candidates shape themselves different for each demographic. I can totally see artists doing it too.

Ps: I'm open to discuss anything Taylor related but I won't engage anybody with assumptions she might be straight or Toe or Karlie wedding is real. She's gay toe is gay karlie is gay and the gay from the fascist family is gay too. That's it.

[topicprinter]

Hey guys. I'm a UX Consultant/Designer and I mainly help startups create user friendly products in order to accomplish business goals (like getting more users or retaining ones you have).One thing I often see is startups neglecting an onboarding process, especially early on in the product's life cycle. I see this as a huge mistake, because it means new users often sign up, get lost in the UI, fail to see the value, then leave and never return (or go to a competitor).I wrote out this guide on why you need an onboarding process and the 10 best practices your should follow in order to retain new users who sign up for your product.You can check out the full post with image examples here on my blog (no timed popup bullshit like that).PS - I did my best to format this post so it doesn't look like total shit in this text format (which I got called out for before in my previous posts).PPS - Yes, I want to encourage people to sign up for my newsletter. I'm not trying to hide it. I write content and I want people to read it.10 User Onboarding Best Practices for Retaining New UsersWhen it comes to user onboarding best practices, I noticed a lot of startup teams make it a low priority next to releasing more "pressing" features, but this is huge mistake. Let me explain why.If you've got a digital product, or are part of a product team, you probably already know that growing your userbase is top priority. Most people will judge the success of your product on two big factors:Growth rate of users.Revenue.But what about that unspoken, un-sexy, yet super important metric you never hear about?User Retention.Retention is what happens when, after convincing a user to sign up for your product, you lead them along a path of steps that creates such a positive user experience, it cements the value of your product in their mind.The result is that this new user becomes a repeat user, frequently logging back in each month (or week or day or hour), and continuing to use (and pay) for your product.In case it wasn't already obvious... you RETAIN them as a user.So how do you take a person from "new user checking out to see if your product is right for them" to "fully engaged repeat user who frequently logs back in and even tells other people about your product?"A few things go into this transformation, but one of the most important steps is to send your users through a properly designed and effective user onboarding sequence.What is User Onboarding?When it comes to product design, user onboarding is the process of leading a person through a number of tasks which, once complete, has effectively demonstrated the value of your product to them.In other words, you teach them how to use your product and they learn how it can actually help them.When people think about an onboarding process, they often think about a screen, or number of screens, that teaches the user how to use the interface.Things like how to add a new item, where to change your settings, how to reply to a post, etc.For example, something like this interface overlay you might see on your first time logging in:image in original postOr, you might think of a few screens that you swipe through when you first open an app, like this...image in original postThese examples aren't wrong, but it is wrong to consider that this is all there is to onboarding a new user.Onboarding is a process that happens at many different times through the user's lifecycle.Yes, introducing a new user to your product directly after they sign up is very important, but going forward, so is drawing that user deeper and deeper into your product, and keeping them engaged.Things like sending emails which encourage them to take different actions, introducing them to new features as you release them, or to more advanced features as they become more active, and releasing blog articles or guides are all important parts of the ongoing onboarding process as well.Why is User Onboarding So Important?We'll get into the specifics later on, but first let's take a minute to discuss why a good onboarding process is so important.In order to understand this, let's start with why someone signs up for your product to begin with.Chances are, a new user signs up because you've promised them something that they need. Usually, they have a problem they need solving, and you're promising them the solution (and a wonderful life thereafter).This part is accomplished because you learned how to properly write and design an effective landing page. If you've done this part correctly, you've made them a specific promise of value and painted a picture of how much better their life will be after signing up.This means they're logging into your app for the first time with the expectation that this value will be delivered, and they're hungry for it.It's your chance at a great first impression, so what do you think the worst thing that could happen at this part is?The new user logs in, looks around, and doesn't understand what they should do next.Even worse, they attempt to do something, fail, and quit.At this point, your product has failed to deliver the value you promised, and now your new user is frustrated.Most of the time when this happens, the person logs out and doesn't return. Why would they? What possible reason would they have?Think about it. Let's say you're super hungry, but you're also super broke. You've only got $1 in your pocket but you need lunch!Suddenly, you see a sign across the street that says $1 pizza slices! YES! You run across the street, burst through the door, and... it's empty. There's no staff.Nobody there selling $1 pizza slices, no explanation for how to get a $1 pizza slice, no nothing... just an empty promise and a very HANGRY you.Would you ever go back to that pizza place if they promised you $1 pizza slices again?Absolutely not.Now, what if you instead you ran across the street, burst open the door, and a party was going on with $1 pizza slices with every topping you could imagine.There was staff there to help you line up, to show you exactly how to pick your toppings, and with information on how to take advantage of future $1 pizza deals when they're available.Would you be back? Of course you would.The difference between the two situations is that one promised value and delivered, the other didn't.One left you with a good experience, the other a bad one.This is exactly why an onboarding process for a new user is so important. By taking the user through a series of steps which ends with them getting their "1 dollar pizza slices", you've effectively proven to them that it's worth returning for.This is how onboarding leads to retention. It isn't any more complicated than that.What is complicated is making sure you're doing it correctly. There's a lot of ways onboarding processes can go very wrong.Things like too much friction, focusing too heavily on the product and not the user's goals, too lengthy of a process, offering it at the wrong time, the list goes on and on.The rest of this article will cover what I've deemed the 10 most important user onboarding best practices.Following these should help you design and execute an onboarding process that introduces your new users to the value of your product quickly, and effectively converts them into activated and repeat users.10 -- Choose a Specific End Goal For Your User to ReachWhen it comes to making your onboarding process effective, you need to start at the end.What that means is, before you start planning anything, you need to have a specific goal you want your user to reach after they complete all the steps.This goal can be different depending on what part of your product your user is engaging with. For example, maybe the end goal is simply to get them to upload a profile picture, or maybe it's getting them to follow 15 users.Pinterest, for example, requires you to like 5 topics so they can pre-build your feed.image in original postPinterest requires you to choose 5 topics of interest.The important part is that this goal shouldn't simply be picked at random. It should be chosen after researching the common traits that your current long time, activated users share.Maybe you notice that all users who upload a profile picture directly after signing up continue to use the app regularly for the next 3 months? That would be the reason you chose the profile picture goal.For example, Facebook's goal for new users is to get them "7 friends in the first 10 days". Twitter on the other hand has discovered that people who followed 30 people they basically became an active user forever.How do you find these "user success benchmarks?"As I mentioned above, studying analytics for common patterns that exist with long time users is your best approach.But for more specific examples on this, check out Andrew Chen's article here.9 -- Start With the Right Type of OnboardingI've been throwing around the term "onboarding process" a lot so far, but it's important to note that there can be more than one type of process.Shanelle Mullin from ConversionXL lists 5 types of onboarding, in her article here, as follows:Benefit-Focused: Explains the 2-3 core benefits and how to achieve that benefit via the site / product / app.Function-Focused: Explains the 2-3 core functions of the site / product / app and how to use them.Doing-Focused: Walks the user through the first or most common actions.Account-Focused: Walks the user through the account / profile creation process, including finding and adding friends or interests.All: For particularly complex sites / products / apps, it may be necessary to combine the four above.Choosing the right type of onboarding that matches the subject (and device) your user is on has a lot to do with how successful it is.For what it's worth, I am a big fan of choosing the "doing focused" approach as I find it causes a user to remember the action they took better. But I find to be successful, you're going to include all 5 of the types of onboarding above.8 -- Use Different Onboarding Processes For Different TasksIt sounds crazy, but every important "user success" task in your product should have some form of onboarding process.If the result of a user performing this task successfully equals a more engaged user, then you want to do everything you can to ensure the user actually does it.With this in mind, it's important to remember to break up onboarding into smaller sub-sections whenever possible.For example, signing up for your product is much different than say creating your first "listing" or filling out your profile.These might be both very important tasks, but including them both in the same onboarding process would mean a lengthy, 60 minute process that exhausts the user and fails to get them where you want them to be.Because let's be honest, as a user, doing onboarding isn't all that fun.Try activating a sequence the first time a user clicks on their profile settings, or the first time they go to create a listing or take whatever one of the "main" actions is in your product.Not only does this make learning each task more simple, but it helps put the user in the right "goal focused" mindset to want to learn how to perform the task properly.7 -- Break The Onboarding Process Down into Smaller StepsIn the same way that a user will get exhausted performing a lengthy onboarding process that teaches them how to perform every task on your product, they'll also tire or get confused if the steps are too large and complex.Remember, this user is most likely brand new to your entire product, or at least to a new feature you've just released, you can't make assumptions that they'll understand how to perform long tasks based on just one short sentence.It's important to break onboarding processes down into smaller, simple steps to be 100% certain that they understand exactly how it works.image in original postUser onboarding broken down into steps.On top of doing a better job of teaching a user, small steps also act as a way to keep your user motivated and engaged with the process.Make sure to congratulate them in a small way after performing each step. This lets people know they're doing things correctly, and doesn't leave them asking... so did I do it right?Don't forget to include a progress indicator to let people know how much they've completed and how many steps are left.6 -- Make Your Onboarding Process Repeatable (and Easily Accessible)Last Christmas my Dad got a Kindle for Christmas. As resident tech support guy, I was given the wonderful task of setting it up Christmas morning.The thing is, I don't own a Kindle, nor have I ever, so I wasn't really familiar with how to set the thing up.Lucky for me, when I turned the thing on, it booted straight into a fantastic onboarding process. It explained how to setup the account, how to access the bookstore, where downloaded books lived on the device, how to delete books, etc.It covered everything I needed to know, and I set the whole thing up no problem.Once I was ready to hand it over to my Dad, I thought it would be perfect for him to go through the same onboarding process to learn how to use the device.Surely there would be a way to replay it, right?Nope.I searched and searched and searched and couldn't find any way to re-play it. I even searched online and found other people asking the same question.But no, there was no way to replay the onboarding process unless I erased the account I had setup and reset the device.This seemed insane to me, and I've spent the last 2 or 3 years helping my Dad out when I can as he tries to fumble his way through his Kindle.The result? He barely uses it.Imagine getting a paper instruction book with your Ikea table that burst into flames the first time you read itWTF I PUT THE LEGS ON BACKWARDS! (every single time I swear)This is why it's so important to make sure you offer a way for users to replay your helpful onboarding process.People forget things. They like to have a reference to go back to. Not only will it help them, but it will push them towards becoming a fully retained user, which really helps you even more.Make sure there's a way to replay your onboarding process from somewhere within your product. Don't forget to end your onboarding process by showing them how they can replay it at anytime.image in original post5 -- Don't Forget About Onboarding New Features For New and Existing UsersIf you're building a digital product, you're probably focusing on releasing new features (but hopefully not too often or without a good reason).If it's a feature that's being built because of proof of demand from your users (which is the way it should be) than there's a good chance many people are waiting patiently for it to be released. Some without even knowing it.This is where I see a fairly common mistake. Team's roll out a new feature, and then sit back, put their feet up, and wait for people to find it on their own.It's probably happened to you. You're using a product and you log in one day to suddenly find a new item in the menu, or a new way to perform a common task.Without warning, it just... changed.This creates a poor experience for the user, because one of two things is happening:They suddenly don't know how to perform those value rich tasks they've done over and over again, and this makes them frustrated.They suddenly see a new feature that sounds like it could be super helpful, but they have no idea how it works, try, get frustrated and give up.When releasing new features, it's important to include a way to alert the users it's been released, and walk them through how it works the first time they use it.On top of that, it's also important to include the new feature in the initial onboarding process (if it makes sense to be there).4 -- Monitor, Test and Revise Your Onboarding ProcessesI've seen posts on onboarding in the past with titles like..."25 Onboarding Processes You Can Easily Copy!"But this doesn't make any sense.Your product is unique, your users are unique, and because of this, your onboarding needs to be unique to your product and your users.In the same way you can't copy someone else's onboarding, you also can't rely on their data to inform decisions about how to design yours.For example, if you have an onboarding process, and a competitor releases a blog post that says using video in their onboarding upped their retention rates, should you run out and add video to yours?No. At least, not without making sure you can monitor and test the impact it has.Your onboarding process is your own, and it's only worth having it if it's being effective in reaching its goal of retaining your users.That's why it's vital to be able to monitor your users behaviour, make changes to the process, and see how they impact the retention rates.Onboarding isn't set it and forget it. It's a really important part of your product's success that should be getting constant attention, and constant improvements.Keep track of what's working, what isn't, and adjust accordingly.3 -- Onboarding Should Be About More Than Just Teaching New Users How to Use Your InterfaceI have two conflicting arguments when it comes to this point, so I'll explain both.First, I'm a big subscriber to the idea that something is better than nothing.If you currently send all your new users into your interface with no onboarding whatsoever, than anything you put in the middle of that is better than nothing.Even a quick tutorial/walkthrough video that pops up with the option to skip, that walks the user through the basics of how to perform the most important tasks. As long as it's quick and easy and doesn't cause the user too much frustration to get through.A welcome/onboarding email is a great place to start. Check out Groove's onboarding email below.image in original postWith that said, I wouldn't exactly call this an onboarding process as much as I would a support document. While still enormously valuable, try to think of these things as part of a larger process.The end goal of onboarding is not to teach a user how to use your interface, it's to introduce the user to the benefits of your product. If you do that effectively, you will bring your users to a "lightbulb" moment where they say... "Oh I get it now! This is GREAT!"Once that little "click" happens in your user's mind, it's much easier to expect them to return on their own (but there are other ways to make sure users come back which you should be doing as well).Getting a user to this point can be done in a variety of different ways. Don't restrict yourself to thinking that onboarding must be done from within your product.Onboarding users doesn't stop after their initial login. It should continue as your user becomes more invested in your product.Your users will go through stages the more they use your product.For example, let's say you run a product that allows people to create and sell online courses. When a user first signs up, they will need to be taken through the process of creating a course... obviously.But after a few months later after they have created their first, second, and third course, they're going to have different goals than a new user.Now, a feature like being able to bundle courses up and sell them as a discount might be something they could really use to take advantage of.Do you think they'll remember how it works if you explained this to them when they were a new user?Probably not, because it was too advanced for them, and therefore not applicable.In this example, you could schedule an email to be sent automatically after a user publishes their third course. The email could explain the "bundles" concept, and provide them with information on how to implement it.This is a far cry from a new user learning to set up their account, but it's still an important part of onboarding users to your product.The idea is to never stop demonstrating the value of your product to your users, because once they stop receiving value, they'll stop returning.2 -- Put Your User's Goals First, Not Your Product's GoalsIn my experience with helping people design effective startup landing pages, one of the biggest mistakes I see people make is to focus entirely on their product.Instead of explaining the benefits of signing up, they'll just describe different features of what they've build.Things like how fast their servers are, or what resolution they'll store your images at.But the fact is this... Users don't give a damn about your product. All they want is something that helps them solve a problem, and allows them to do it in a way that isn't a huge pain in the ass.That's why effective landing page copywriting focuses on the users problem, and describes the benefits of using the product to solve those problems.When it comes to onboarding, this is an important to keep this lesson in mind.When designing your onboarding process, put yourself in your user's shoes.Ask yourself things like... why would a user want to create a listing? What is the reason they will need to turn on and off email notifications? What is their goal here?Framing your process around your users's goals will help you avoid the dreaded mistake of explaining how things work just for the sake of it.Sure, it's great that you've got a way you can adjust the quality of uploaded images, but does this feature tie into your user's high level goals?Probably not. This would be something best explained in a help document.Limit onboarding only to the features that provide immense value to your users. Remember, proof of value is the path to getting users coming back.1 -- Remind Your Users When They Haven't Finished The Onboarding ProcessBy this point in the article, I hope you've realized just how important an onboarding process is.The key to a successful startup is not just attracting new users, but retaining the ones you do attract.Because getting a user to these "success points", like Facebook's "7 friends in the first 10 days", is so key to turning them into a repeat user, I feel it's important that your main onboarding process shouldn't just vanish if a user decides to skip it and head straight into your interface.Users who haven't completed initial onboarding should be shown a visual reminder of their progress. It should contain how much they've completed, and how much they have left.It should also break down the tasks they still need to perform.For example, after a bout of poor user experiences, I recently switched email providers from Aweber to Convertkit.After signing up and checking out their interface, I noticed a little percentage icon in the navigation bar. This caught my interest, and upon checking it out, I realized they had a list of tasks for me to complete in order to reach 100%.image in original postNot only that, but they provided a little video to guide my through completing each step in case I got stuck along the way.I thought this was a fantastic way to approach getting your users to the point where they become "repeat users".Not only was it was it easy to return to anytime I wanted, the percentage meter gave me a feeling of wanting to complete it and tie up that incomplete process.Was I going to spend the rest of the time using ConvertKit with a 88% staring me in the face? NOT A CHANCE!If building something like this isn't quite feasible at the moment, even sending a simple email containing all the steps a few days after a user signs up is a great, lean way to approach this.BONUS TIP: Give Your User a Surprise Gift For Completing The ProcessCreating a positive user experience can come in many different forms.Having a user friendly design is a big part of it, as is providing great support, but sometimes delighting the user with something surprisingly funny or kind can also help create a positive experience in their minds.When I completed the ConvertKit process, I was shocked to find that a button appeared offering me a free gift.image in original postWhen I clicked it, I was sent to an order form for a fee ConvertKit t-shirt!The best part was, it was completely unexpected. They didn't bribe me with a free t-shirt by telling me I had to complete these 10 steps or anything. It was just a really cool reward for doing something that was beneficial to me anyways.It made me feel like I mattered to them. This really helped position ConvertKit in my mind as a company that really cares about making their users happy.But beyond that, it's also great marketing. Not only am I wearing a ConvertKit shirt around, I'm here talking to you about it right now. See how that works?ConclusionIn a world where so much focus in spent on getting more and more users each month, it's important to remember that new users don't mean a thing if you can't get them to come back.Just like you wouldn't keep filling up a bucket full of holes without stopping to plug them, you shouldn't keep growing your userbase if all your users have only ever logged in once.The path to retaining users is to continually demonstrate the value of your product to them. While this is especially important for new users, it's equally as important to continue demonstrating value to older users, to make sure they continue coming back as well.I've also made a checklist you can download and refer back to so you don't need to read this entire article again.I've recapped all the important points in this article and turned them into a User Onboarding Checklist which you can download for free here, in exchange for signing up for my newsletter.Use this to refer back to while you create your onboarding process and make sure you're taking into consideration all the best practices for retaining new (and existing) users.I hope this post helps you prioritize onboarding as an important feature in the road to building a successful product.You can view the entire post here on my blog.