#PLS i need to get a new job asap

[cetoddle-archive]

i could feasibly move out within the next year or so

[starconchess]

fuck fuck fuck

something urgent has come up(if you see a post floating around. my brother helped my dad get a new phone)

my dad is a newly diagnosed diabetic(diagnosed about a month or so ago)

hes out of insulin. and its $50 to get his prescription refilled. if five people sent $10 we'll be set. im so sorry i have to make these posts a lot. things are really hard. i am trying to find a job as my dad has gotten a new vehicle. but for now i rely on these posts for help

this is very urgent and needed asap. the pharmacy closes soon so we wont be able to get it tonight. but we need $50 by tomorrow morning. anything helps.

even rbing helps.

thank you all who have helped us. it means so much to us.

paypal.me/akirk432 (pls send via friends and family)

cashapp: $autumnroses93

[causenessus]

my lovliness hello hello!! good morning afternoon or evening!! i hope you’ve eaten so make sure you eat and drink water!! AND LMK HOW THOSE TACO JARS WENT IF YOUVE TRIED IT YET <33333333333333333333for some reason i’m deciding to STAY ANONYMOUS!! (ness knows my account now)(to whoever is reading this we texted for like a good hour and it was the best hour of my life)(and for the record we yap A LOT BUT I LOVE IT) OR IF YOU DONT WANT ME TO THATS OK! i just feel like being called mango ANON and not being ANON is trippy but you can call me by my name if you’d like or mango anon is okay too!! either is okay whatever you want ness ill do for you whatever you need ILL BEND OVER BACKWARDS FOR YOU!! and today i had my moms pho which is really good then i went on a walk with my friend(half walk half bus) and got some ice cream !! cinnamon because i thought of you and your cinnamon almond butter <33333

your job honestly sounds so fun like YOU GET TO ACTUALLY BUILD THE FRAMES?? like it’s so mundane for me because i’m here folding clothes constantly like the only thing i do is FOLD CLOTHES AND PICK UP CLOTHES OFF THE GROUND(also i’m not saying your job sounds easy but i would love the change of pace because im so so sick of clothing retail!!!)(i wanna build frames with ness!!!) i’m sorry work wasn’t that good but i’m glad it went by fast! personally i like opening more then closing because closing is when disaster strikes! when i open i can at least leave before it gets super super busy but when i close i swear surviving the shift is an optional choice at that point! ALSO THE OLD MAN SAYING LOCKED IN?? you know his grandchildren got him on that slang but that’s so funny LOL i hope he was chill and i’m glad he was nice to you and he understood! i totally get being so locked in you get literal tunnel vision and your only focus is doing whatever task you have because when im like organizing the clothes by like their type???(short sleeve, long sleeve, sweater???) i get LOCKED IN LIKE MY FOCUS IS ON POINT! like i just need these clothes on hangers asap at that point!

ALSO PLS DROPPING YOUR CONTAINER IN A SILENT LIBRARY?? if i was there with you i would’ve intentionally coughed really loudly as a distraction(we can take the L moments together)

AND LITERALLY LIKE??? you’re telling me this women silently cleared out her office somehow without anyone seeing like?? she probably was giggling on the way to her car and sat in the drivers seat, whipped out her phone and typed a goodbye message and drove away with a smile like I KNOW DAMN WELL THATS WHAT SHE DID BECAUSE SHE DIDNT EVEN GIVE US A NOTICE?? like the last store manager we had gave us a months notice right BUT NO THIS ONE JUST LEFT?? like she did not care whatsoever and that’s so funny, i kinda miss her but she was also not my favourite!! but she was tolerable and i hope the next store manager isn’t mean or strict(but i might leave before she gets replaced so i don’t know!)

OMG i haven’t read binary stars yet because i’ve been so busy with work but ik I’ll like it so don’t worry! plus it’s your first ever smau so don’t even worry i’m sure it’s not as bad as you think <33333333333 and i swear i think the oikawa smau curse is real because i remember eggy talking about syrup and oikawa and ITS SO FUNNY like i can definitely see why it’s kind of hard to write him??? because to me he seems more like bestie unserious character LOL but cold kisses was so so so good i can’t stop talking about i will never stop talking about it LOVE NOTES TOO AND AHHH NEW GROUNDS NEW GROUNDS WAS SO AHHH (i just love all your writing) and also im sure the person meant it in a lighthearted way so don’t worry!! AND OMG REGINA GEORGE KIN MAN LIVES THROUGH THAT SMAU?? ALSO IM SORRY FOR BRINGING UP BINARY STARS I DIDNT KNOW YOU FELT THAT WAY </3 but i think it’s good keeping it up so that you and others can see how much your writing has improved! it was definitely a good learning experience and there’s no need to be ashamed of it, think of the pancake theory! the first one is always ugly(NOT CALLING YOUR SMAU UGLY BUT YOU GET WHAT I MEAN RIGHT)but once you get the gang of it, they all become perfect little pancakes <33333333333333333 AND PLEASE LITERALLY ILL SEND YOU MY MANAGERS EMAIL AND WE’LL SPAM HIM WITH LOVE NOTES MASTERLIST URL!! every man should be like suna in my opinion like i think the world would real if men were like suna rintarou

AND YOUR COWORKERS WAGE GOING DOWN??? that’s actually so crazy oh my god and so sketchy like THE CORAL THING I CANT GET OVER TOO LIKE THATS CRAZY??? also i 100% get complaining about your workplace because the little like young adult(no longer teens </3) group has a side gc where we literally talk about our managers SO much and oh my god so(dropping work drama lore) there’s this one coworker i have and im gonna call her jen for this story(so it doesn’t get confusing) and this other coworker and ill call her amira right okay so jen is in college right now for something i don’t know and she was sending some questions to the work group chat for help (okay this gonna be confusing but there’s two group chats! there’s one with the managers and one without the managers, the one without the managers is used for fun basically) and anyways she was asking for help right and i was helping her along with like 3 other of our coworkers right? but for some reason amira got soooooo mad about this she started deleting my messages and my coworkers messages (the ones that was helping jen) and we were like wtf is going on??? and then jen is like “@amira why are you deleting these messages” then amira goes off about how like this gc was for work related stuff and yap yap yap(WHICH IS WEIRD BECAUSE??? ITS THE ONE WITHOUT MANAGERS RIGHT AND THEY’VE TALKED ABOUT RANDOM THINGS BEFORE) anyways it was crazy and jen and her started like going back and forth and it was so messy because amira kept deleting her messages(btw she’s the admin of the gc because seniority or something idk but OMG she’s admin along with this other girl right) so the other admin told amira to chill and yk what amira did?? SHE REMOVED THE OTHER ADMIN FROM THE GC AND IT WAS SO CRAZY!!! and the young adult gc(sorry there’s so many gcs i hope this isn’t confusing) we were ALL FREAKING OUT LIKE WHATS HAPPENING?? and they were GOING AT IT!! and i guess the managers got involved because the next day there was a text sent in the manager gc and the managers were just like “make sure to respect each other yap yap yap” and omg it was actually so so so crazy SUCH A TIME!!

IF WE DID TECH TOGETHER NESS ID FEAR WE’D BE TO POWERFUL!! like we would not need anyone else JUST US!! WE WOULD WIN AWARDS AND DEFINITELY NOT AS MUCH TRAUMA BECAUSE WE WOULDNT GET YELLED AT!! (i remember getting yelled at sooooo many times in my tech days)(good old days!!!) ALSO EYELINER TATTOOS ARE SO SO SO SCARY SO SCARY because it’s so close to your eye and the skin there is more thin and sensitive(?) i think??? but the fact that she has to live with it like it won’t come off IS SO SCARY!! I TOTALLY GET IT TOO LIKE ID BE SCARED </3 i have the same feeling about people with tattooed eyebrows (FOR THE RECORD!! i don’t think tattooed eyebrows are ugly and i think that beauty definitely comes from within and your physical appearance doesn’t matter!! everyone is beautiful but this is just my opinion)(i’m NOT saying it’s ugly im just saying that it definitely catches me off guard sometimes) AND LIKE YOU HAVE TO GET THEM RETOUCHED TOO AND AHHH the idea of having a needle that close to my eye makes me scared like even putting on my contacts scare me sometimes LOL also yes i’m familiar with sections and i do remember you briefly talking about rotations! (BUT DW ABOUT REPEATING STUFF BECAUSE I DEFINITELY DO TOO) IM NOT TOO SURE WHAT THE DIFFERENCE IS THOUGH? and what’s with managers being so MEAN AND WEIRD?? like they expect us to be able to complete and do 20 different things at a time??? we are no octopus!! AND HER SAYING the “have another server for once” IS WHAT?? i officially hate her too now like whoever ness hates i hate because that’s CRAZY behaviour like insane INSANITY!!

ALSO I STILL CANT GET OVER YOU SAVING YOUR DAY FOR ME LIKE FOR ME???? IM SO HHHHHH IM GONNA BECOME SAPPY AGAIN that’s literally the sweetest thing ever ever ever like ness you’re the love of MY LIFE like my life is yours whatever you want is yours WHATEVER YOU NEED JUST SAY THE WORD AND ILL GIVE IT TO YOU!!!

ALSO YOUR SISTERS BF IS SO FUNNY WITH THE BASKET THING HAHAH BUT LITERALLY i hate the concept of having to pay for a bag BUT LIKE IM JUST A WORKER??? LIKE I DONT WANNA LOSE MY JOB OVER A 50 CENT BAG YOU KNOW??? like please take it up to headquarters or something like DONT BE YELLING ABOUT ME OVER A DAMN BAG OF ALL THINGS!! and the area i work there’s like a whole plaza of stores right and EVERY SINGLE STORE HAS BAGS YOU NEED TO PAY FOR!! EVERY SINGLE ONE!! i literally had a customer be like “wow the other stores i go to don’t make me pay for a bag” LIKE OK?? THEN GO THERE! LIKE IDK WHY THEYRE ACTING LIKE I CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT IF THEY COMPLAIN ENOUGH

YES PLS SHIP ME THE ALMOND BUTTER WITH YOU <33333333333333 it’ll be like those videos “shipping myself in a box across the world!! not clickbait” BUT REAL! (i fear that i might’ve believed those sometimes…)(ONLY SOMETIMES) you can ship yourself here as an early birthday gift for me it would be the best gift ever ever ever!!

YES FAIRY TAIL WAS SUCH AN ERA!! such a long anime like idk how i did it tbh like i haven’t even caught up on one piece and i fear i never will… but haikyuu? i will watch haikyuu MULTIPLE TIMES!! AND DW YOU WERENT DRAMATIC BUT I DID GENUINELY FEEL BAD THAT YOU FELT BAD </33333 your reasoning was 100% valid and I APPRECIATE YOUR HONESTY !! you’re such a pure genuine sweet person ever like ever ever i love you so be try much and PLS DM ME WHENEVER !!! i love hearing from you EVEN IF ITS RANDOM SILLY THINGS!! IM GLAD YOU LIKE THE BURNER i wanted to make it all nice and pretty for you <33333333333 ALSO i was looking for profile pictures right and originally it was gonna be one of osamu AND I SAW YOUR PFP!! THE SUNA WITH THE OSAMU ONE!! i was gonna make it my pfp but then i was like omg what if she thinks i’m weird and obsessed with her (i am obsessed with you)(you are the love of my life) BUT I LITERALLY SAW IT AND I WAS LIKE OMG!! NESS!! NESS’ SUNA!!! AND OMG NESS AND MANGO ANON MEETUP?? ROOMMATE SMAU MOMENT??? (i need to stop pressing the caps button like CALM DOWN CALM DOWNNNN)

also side note IM SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE?? i keep falling asleep like i finished work at 3 right and then i was like i’m gonna take an hour nap…. I WAKE UP AND ITS 7:30??? MANGO ANON THAT IS NOT 1 HOUR???? to be fair i only slept like 2 hours last night it was terrible IDK WHY I COULDNT SLEEP </3 but im hopefully gonna sleep early tonight because school is coming up and i need as much sleep as i can get!

YES NESS i protected you from day 1 like literal guardian angel i will always be your guardian angel THATS SO CRAZY HOW I REMEMBERED THAT THOUGH BECAUSE I WAS LAYING AWAKE RIGHT and i was like HOLD ON!! i had a whole flashback moment then i was like… omg… that was ness like that was ness’ blog??? it had to have been??? AND IT WAS!! i’ll always protect you from any hate(but i don’t get how you can get hate like you’re the sweetest person ever)(whoever sends hate is genuinely like crazy because you’re so so so sweet like so sweet)

RANDOM INTERMISSION TO DRINK WATER! i just drank my whole water because i guess i woke up super super thirsty LOL like im that one tiktok audio that’s like GULP GULP GULP thank you!! you saved me (sorry that’s like a terrible terrible replay of that audio) and omg the heavy body axe deodorant smell like i remember walking down the halls in high school and getting a huge WHIFF OF THAT (terrible terrible times)

ALSO MY NIGHTMARE ABOUT THE MOTHERBOARD LIKE i swear that was the scariest dream i’ve had but only because of the fact that MY DIRECTOR DIDNT YELL AT ME(in my dream… i guess i was subconsciously scared of him so i made a dream where he was nice LMAO) but i was WAITING for him to yell at me like call me a dj with the way i was free balling it (top 3 scariest nightmare i tell you) AND AWWWW i know your ask was yesterday so you saw your children today and id love to hear about it!!(no pressure to answer today because THIS IS SO LATE IM SO SORRY) and tech nightmares need to be like analyzed in a lab or something because im sure if i like sit down and think about it i can think about like the other tech nightmares i’ve had LOL

NEXT TIME YOU GO BACK TO YOUR STAGE MANAGER DUTIES ILL BE THERE IN SPIRIT!! doing my job and STEPPING UP to coparent AND be your sounds person like it’ll be the time of our lives like we’ll literally make the groundbreaking cast ever better

NESS LOL REGRETTING YOUR CRUSHES(or like people you were attracted to) IS SO REAL BECAUSE ME TOO! like i look back on the people i used to like and im like erm….. mango anon what were you thinking…but omg i haven’t read this yet so this is my raw reaction written out NO CUTS NO EDITS!! but AWWWWW the fact that he checked up on you?? that’s actually sweet(mango anon please don’t bite your words) also that’s so cute he stuck by you STOP IT me reading this like it’s a smau rn (IM JOKING LMAOOO)(or am i..) also side note i hope you’re in a better place now and i totally get it because in year 8 and in year 11 i had like terrible terrible burnout where i was skipping school and it was terrible terrible LOL BUT BACK TO YOUR STORY! AND YOU CAN 100% TELL ME IN DMS (only if you want to)(IF ITS BAD MEMORIES PLEASE DONT WORRY ABOUT IT!!)(i don’t wanna bring up something bad like but ill always listen if you do wanna talk about it like there’s never tmi with me !!) and OH MY JAW DROPPED WHEN I READ THE DRUGS PART I i did not expect that like the “i stopped doing drugs for you!” okay wattpad skater boy like and HIM GHOSTING YOU AND GOING BACK INTO DRUGS LIKE???? weirdo weirdo alert okay skater boy im coming for you like THAT SWITCH UP IS CRAZY? going from being all cutesy and loving to him just dipping like okay?? good on you for dipping too because HE DOESNT DESERVE U!! you’re so good for him anyways YOU ALWAYS WERE wherever you are skater boy… i hope ur sneezing rn because im cursing you right now and UGH HIM BACK IN UR TECH CLASS? like i would’ve very cutely thrown the whole sound motherboard at him!! also i hope your adoptive seniors protected you because i would’ve!! AND I WISH I DID DO TECH WITH YOU LIKE GENUINELY </3333 because we are literally peas in a pod like we’d be so powerful and on the same wavelength like we’d be able to communicate through our eyes without saying anything THATS how powerful we’d be AND HIM TALKING TO YOU LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED?? ness give me his name that’s all i ask for …. AND NOT HIM TEXTING YOU?? also you ignoring the red flags is so real like ill turn a blind eye to that because ness can never do anything wrong… wdym ness texted back? no she didn’t? she’s just being a girl!! (ness can do NO wrong) and you feeling bad is so real like i used to be SUCH a people pleaser(i think i still am but not that much) and id literally bend over backwards for some rando it was so bad LOL like i was that kid that would give you homework without even saying anything like “can i see your homework?” “okay sure” like KWIDJWJDJ don’t be like me never never

NESS OH MY GOD I BURSTED OUT LAUGHING LIKE “me: oh.”

NESS PLEASE??? AND I CAN LITERALLY JUST IMAGINE YOU STARING AT YOUR PHONE AS HE KEPT YAPPING AND YAPPING OH MY GOD??? and it totally sounds like bs or like some sort of wattpad plot like “i’m too dangerous for you….. i like you so i’m gonna distant myself and get over my feeling but then come right back to you” and the random gifts?? like i get to him that it may be sweet but like IDK I GET HOW WEIRD IT IS LIKE IT SEEMS WEIRD YEAH AND LIKE it definitely sounded like toxicity mixed with communication and commitment issues so GOOD FOR YOU FOR NOT GOING THROUGH WITH IT!! it probably saved you a lot down the road and YES SUNA IS NOT LIKE THAT AND NEVER WILL BE!! suna would treat you the way he treats lovenotes yn(which is technically you)(i know yn is your name but idk why i always read yn and YN like i’ve never been like “mango anon” instead of yn you know?) you will find your irl sunarin(ME) and he will treat you sweet and lovingly(ME TO YOU!!)and make you cute art and send it to you(ME ME ME!!!)

OMG PURPLE HEART MAN TIME!! OH MY GOD THE CONCUSSION WHAT??? i literally was like omg i wonder if this is cute— CONCUSSION?? no that’s crazy like i need that hex on my manager real quick(IM JOKING!… JOKING…..) and OH MY GOD?? him tripping and hitting his head oh my oh my like THATS CRAZY?? AND THE TOXIC LEAK?? theatre is genuinely the most wild thing ever oh my god the way i gasped is CRAZY like the way it was so bad to the point of someone going BLIND?? WHAT!! and him twisting his ankle oh my god ness something had to have been in the air like that actor was hexed for sure like this is some looney tunes injuries right here i feel so bad (wherever he is i hope he’s getting the best luck ever because WHAT) AND HE WENT TO THE ER??? the way you keep adding things and i’m like WHAT???? WHAT??????? AND THE DIE??? oh my god who hexed that poor man like who was jealous he got the lead THATS SO CRAZY LIKE IM SO SHOCKED?? and the purple heart lore is crazy he deserves it after everything he went through like deepest condolences man i hope he’s okay wherever he is like thank you for your service king

AND DONT SAY SORRY ABOUT A LONG YAP !! EVER !!! AND OMG RIGHT SO SUNDAY RIGHT? i had a 2:45-7:30 and sunday was team building day! basically it’s where the company allows the managers to take out the team to go eat or some event idk but we went bowling and it was so fun! so like the “teen group” that i told you about (though we’re all young adults now so it’s sad like WE ALL GROW UP IN MARSHALLS) and we had our own team and it was the first time i ever went bowling so it was such a fun experience! (i did not win a SINGLE game) like it was all fun no seriousness or competitiveness which felt nice like i literally took a 15 pound ball and placed it on the ground and just pushed it LOL like it was so fun! and the work paid for it all and gave us like pizza and stuff SO IT WAS NICE! like it was basically a free hangout and oh my god TODAY at work i got so emotional because one of my coworkers are leaving right and she’s been like a big sister to me and everything :( i remember her training me from like my first time there and i genuinely have so much love for her but she’s moving and leaving our work so we talked and i CRIED LIKE I CRIED AT WORK and she kept hugging me and comforting me and she was like “throughout my time here you were the sweetest person ever like i’m gonna miss you, this workplace is my second home and i know it won’t be the same ever it’s so bittersweet” and like so much so i couldn’t hold back like i just started crying so hard BECAUSE IM EMOTIONAL and like it’s literally my sign to leave too because 2 of the people in my little teen group are also leaving and i know 3 more are planning to leave before the year ends so it’s definitely my time to leave too which ITS SO BITTERSWEET BUT I HAVE TO START THINKING ABOUT ME TOO </3

BUT ofc I’ll update you! IM SORRY THIS WAS LATE AND I HOPE IT WASNT TOO LONG!! also the guy that was yapping while i was working(the one i told you about through dms) he was literally talking about the us politics and im like sir we are not in the us and like in the most respectful way possible IDK WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT?? IDK THESE WORDS!! but anyways he was nice overall just A YAPPER anyways I HOPE YOUVE EATEN AND TAKEN CARE OF YOURSELF <33333333 drink tons of water and treat yourself well !! i will send you my bank account information so treat yourself to a sweet treat because you deserve it! I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH SO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF !! THE MANGO ANON ERA WILL NOT BE OVER SAV SO DONT WORRY! the burner account is just for cute little “i miss you” and “i love you”s and for little stuff like that! or when i’m like super busy and don’t wanna flood her inbox so ill send a little “i’m sorry i’m working but im alive and thinking about you!!” BUT UNTIL NEXT TIME !! I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU NESS TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF MWUAH MWUAH MWUAH !! xoxoxoxoxo

MANGO ANONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN I'VE MISSED YOU SO MUCH THIS IS WHAT NOT TALKING TO YOU IN INBOX DOES TO ME FOR ONE DAY 😔😔😔😔😔😔 I LOVE DMING YOU BUT I THINK I JUST LOVE THESE ASKS SM! (but ofc as long as i get to talk to you i'm good <3) I HAVE EATEN ALL MY TACO JARS BY THE TIME I AM ANSWERING THIS 😭😭😭 BUT THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD!! i added rice to the last one today and it made it like 10000x better so i will def be making these again 😌 THANK YOU FOR INSPIRING AND MOTIVATING ME TO COOK!!! I HOPE YOU ATE AND ARE DRINKING PLENTY OF WATER <3 AND MAYBE HAVE HAD A SILLY TREAT TODAY!! (sending you all the mango sticky rice in the world rn!!!!) MANGO ANON I WILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT FORM YOU TAKE (that sound so weird 😭 I JUST MEAN LIKE!! DMS!! ASKS!! ANON!! OFF ANON!!! I DO NOT MIND ANY OF THEM AS LONG AS I HAVE YOU!! <3333 if you don't want ur account shared you're totally good staying anon!! whatever you want to do my love <3) I'M SO GLAD YOUR MOM'S PHO WAS GOOD AND AAA THE CINNAMON ICE CREAM SOUNDS SO GOOD <3

i love cinnamon!!! i used to use SO SO MUCH like everyday and i'm def over that phase now but i still LOVE cinnamon <333 AND THANK YOU FOR REMINDING ME ABOUT PHO AGAIN!! it's still lowkey so hot here but i think it's slowly starting to cool down!! and once it does, I'M GOING TO GO GET PHO!! or maybe hot pot <3 omg i hate the states but actually where i live there's a super good hot pot mango anon!! i want to take you there and pay for your food and just give you everything in the world here's a kiss mwah <3

AND AAA YES LIKE IT'S STRESSFUL?? i always get scared bc i'm like...handling people's art and everything yk...and don't want to mess it up BUT IT DEFINITELY IS FUN!! i tried to work at a clothing retail place before i applied for this job!!! but they didn't want me 😔 AND YEAH IDK OPENING AND CLOSING BOTH HAVE THEIR PROS i think i'm very used to being a closer bc it's what i was all throughout high school since they were the only shifts i worked!! and i opened a lot over the summer at this framer job and i definitely liked how i got to like be productive and work but then got to go out and also enjoy my day!! but for me like all the customers come in and order stuff in the day so i actually definitely prefer closing at this framing job bc no one's gonna come in at 6pm asking to get the stick they found on the ground framed yk <3 (i love it besides when i have to sweep the entire floor!! that makes me want to 🙂🔫) AND YES I THINK THE OLD MAN WAS CHILL!! tbh i don't remember what he needed anymore LMAO I TRIED SO HARD TO REMEMBER JUST NOW BUT IT'S NOT COMING TO ME </3

AND AA YES I TOTALLY GET THE TUNNEL VISION and ig maybe it's a good thing i don't work at a clothing place!! bc tbh i am NOT a good folder and everytime i try to hang clothes on hangers they just fall off!!! so honestly it's super admirable that you're able to do all that bc i can't 😭😭 also i think i'd be offput by touching clothes sometimes or like certain fabrics bc i'm a very big sensory person and a little germaphobic (SAKUSA KIYOOMI WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!) </3 I HOPE THAT'S OKAY TO SAY!! IT JUST MAKES ME APPRECIAT THE WORKERS WHO DO THAT ALL THE MORE BC I COULD NEVER YOU'RE SO SO COOL!!

thank you for taking l moments with me mango anon </33 you are truly my guardian angel!!! i love u here's another kiss mwah <3

AAA I HOPE YOUR NEXT STORE MANAGER IS BETTER TOO!! OR THAT YOU'RE ABLE TO LEAVE (and find a better job??) if you decide to do that as well!! and FRFR 😭😭 what was going through your ex store manager's head?? like "oh let me just not tell anyone i'm quitting!! bye 🤠"

AHHHH THE PANCAKE THEORY YOU ARE SO SO RIGHT AND SWEET <3 I GET WHAT YOU MEAN AND DON'T WORRY AT ALL!! OFC IT'S OKAY TO BRING UP BINARY STARS <3 just know i'm not proud of it yk 😭😭😭 but aa yes i think it just has to do with how much of a character he is if that makes sense!! like even furudate's been like "i HATE drawing oikawa bc he's just so pretty so he takes so much time to draw!!" so in the same way yk like that's why he's a side character bc furudate would've died if he had to draw oikawa more </3 like oikawa's sort of just built to be a side character in a way?? (AT LEAST FOR SMUAS IDK) which is OKAY!! like i am with him!! but he just has so much personality i guess??? that he does well/better as a side character than the main character (i care SO much about oikawa i think mitch is the only one i've explained this to but i kin him a lot and he deserves so so much love like he does not ever deserve to be second place to everyone and yap yap yap you can see how much he means to me so like it pains me to even talk about him this way because he deserves all the love in the world but it's also just who he is and that's okay!! i am with him and i love him all the more for being a side character <3 as you can tell oikawa is a very special character to me <3) AND YOU ARE SO RIGHT!!! every irl man should be like suna rintarou 😔 the world would be a better place if men could be like him!!!

THE CRAZY WORK LORE STORY??? WHAT WAS AMIRA ON 😭 and why was she deleting YOUR messages of all people?? like u were helping jen right??? and even then like especially if this is the silly gc or whatever!! no matter what!! she did not explain her actions at all so that's crazy!! and then they kept fighting THE WAY MY JAW DROPPED WHEN YOU TALKED ABOUT THE OTHER ADMIN LIKE GETTING KICKED OUT and your managers sending the text about being respectful the day after 😭😭😭 they were NOT slick with that like...u all knew why they texted that LMAO

MANGO ANON....my tech director asked me to come to the school today bc they were meeting with the other director today...and omg i just can't believe this is all starting soon....i'm so stressed I NEED U HERE MANGO ANON 😭😭😭 YOU WILL BE MY SHOULDER TO CRY ON (WHICH IS GOING TO BE LIKE EVERYDAY) /HJ i'm just so so scared AND TELL ME WHY I WALKED IN AND THIS KID (ummm don't know if i've messaged him before he's like a weird one and he's got a big superiority complex and thinks he knows everything and is weirdly attached to me, took a video where he zoomed in on my senior picture...etc...) HAD LITERALLY PUT HIMSELF IN A FLY SYSTEM HE MADE. LIKE WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE FLY SYSTEMS. BUT BRO WAS IN A HARNESS LITERALLY LOWERING HIMSELF DOWN FROM THE CATWALKS. AND SOME BOY AT THE BOTTOM WAS HIS COUNTERWEIGHT. THAT IS NOT???????"???? oh my god i don't want to talk about it I AM SO TIRED 😭 yes i missed theatre but!!!! omg i did not miss the stress now that it's fr all starting up now!! but i will think about you being here in spirit with me and that will give me the strength to keep going 😌

AND YES IK LIKE THE SCARY NEEDLE SO CLOSE TO YOUR EYES??? I COULD NEVER!! my mom has tattooed eyebrows and fake eyelashes so 😃😃😃 idk i think it might be like an asian mom thing bc (i'm mixed) my mom's always like "ugh!! you should be so glad u got ur father's long luxurious beautiful eyelashes bc i have NONE" and yap yap yap and idk it's super weird!! she just got the fake eyelashes in april and i'm still not used to them and i lowkey don't like them.....................

(i don't want to talk about it)

SORRY I HOPE THIS ASK DOESN'T SOUND SUPER???? DOWN OR ANYTHING IDK i think i'm just tired and i feel like i have a lot going on rn (NOT TO START VENTING OR ANYTHING BUT JUST TO PROVIDE LIKE CONTEXT) so i'm so sorry if anything in this ask sounds off or out of place </33 things are just spilling out of my brain aaa i'm sorry!!!

AND THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING MY HATE FOR MY RESTAURAUNT MANAGER BC SHE IS SO MEAN 😔😔😔 ONCE AGAIN SHE MADE ME RUN OUT OF THE PLACE AND CRY ON THE SIDE OF A RESTAURAUNT ACROSS THE ROAD ONCE </33 and you are so right!!!! we are no octopuses or machines 😔😔 we are just girls!! trying to live our silly little lives and make a little money to fund our silly little activities <33 🌸

AND AA YES I DO SAVE ALL OF MY DAYS FOR YOU!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON <3 I LOVE TALKING TO YOU I FEEL SO HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE TALKING TO YOU SO I LOVE TO HEAR YOUR REACTIONS AND ABOUT YOUR OWN DAYS! (to completely contrast my little apology for feeling like some of my paragraphs/sentences here sound a little down, talking to you genuinely makes me feel so much happier and better so thank you so much for the literal effect you have on me <3 i love you mango anon!!!)

YOU'RE SO REAL FOR THE BAG THING!! like all the stores here do it and idk i guess i just an genuinely not wrap my head around these karen-esque people??? like please?? it's a law being enforced by governments??? what am i, a silly little employee, supposed to do about the 50 cents ur paying for a bag!!! and so what if another store isn't making you pay for the bag!! like u said, THEN GO THERE INSTEAD!!

MANGO ANON. NO PRESSURE BUT UM MAYBE YOU SHOULD UM 👉👈👉👈 TOTALLY MATCH PFPS WITH ME!! PLEASE BE THE OSAMU TO MY SUNA!! I WOULD CRY HAPPY TEARS!!! MANGO ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU COULD NEVER DO ANYTHING TO MAKE ME WEIRD OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN THE SLIGHTEST!!!!!! PLEASE DO WHATEVER YOU WANT AND I WILL DEFINITELY DM YOU ALL THE TIME IF THAT'S OKAY <33 I THINK YOU'RE THE SWEETEST!! AND LIKE IF I WASN'T PLANNING TO ANSWER THIS ASK TODAY I DEFINITELY WOULD'VE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE KID WITH THE FLY SYSTEM TODAY IN DMS 😭😭😭

AND AA DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR THIS BEING LATE AT ALL!! I'M SORRY YOUR SLEEP WAS SO BAD :(( 2 HOURS IS NOT ENOUGH!! I HOPE YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING BETTER SINCE THEN THESE PAST FEW DAYS </33

GULP GULP GULP YOU SAVED ME 😭😭😭 THE WAY I'M CRYING LOWKEY I LOVE TIKTOK AUDIOS SO MUCH FOR HOW BRAINROTTED THEY ARE 😭😭😭😭 BUT AA YES INTERMISSION FOR YOU TOO AS YOU'RE READING THIS!! MAKE SURE TO DRINK MORE WATER NOW!!! <3 (you're the sweetest ever <3)(here's your third kiss of the ask!)(mwah <3)

CALL YOU A DJ WITH THE WAY YOU WERE FREEBALLING IT LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 THAT IS SO SO FUNNY MANGO ANON i love how we all collective had such traumatizing directors though!!! (😃) i remember i had a lights kid who our director had made cry once because he was so rude when like- okay let me just give u the full run down

the senior who taught me lights graduated so i'm left in charge, right? so it's the first play of the year after she's graduated, i don't have a great hold on lights yet because i've only ever done ONE show with lights so far, but i'm in charge. it's light focusing day (i literally had to call a friend to stay after school with me and hang all our lights because we hadn't had enough time to do it during like a tech class before this focusing day). WELL we're doing it all in the dark, all the lights are crazy old and IMPOSSIBLE to turn left and right, PLUS half our lights were light on the batons (hoping u know what this is bc i do not have it in my to explain rn i'm so sorry) BUT ANYWAY SO LIKE WE'RE ALL STRETCHED ACROSS A BAR IN THE DARK FIGHTING FOR OUR LIFE TRYING TO FOCUS THESE LIGHTS and this last kid could NOT get his light to move left-right and the director's yelling at him and is upset that he can't do it and i'm like "mr. director do u want me to try" bc no one else can do it and i'm in charge or whatever and he's like "ugh ig 🙄" and eventually i get it focused and everything and then we take a break for lunch and that kid started crying bc he was under so much pressure and stress and was trying his best!! and like it wasn't his fault fr </3 BUT ANYWAY WHERE I'M GOING WITH THIS IS LIKE THAT MEMORY WAS SO TRAUMATIZING THAT KID HAD NIGHTMARES OF NOT BEING ABLE TO GET LIGHTS MOVING AGAIN BUT THEN HE'D JUST DROP THE INSTRUMENT ON OUR DIRECTOR 😭😭 (and this isn't a first time occurrence. i knew another friend who also like had a whole dream where he had prepared how he was gonna talk back to our tech director for all the things he had said to him 😭 we love toxic environments!!!! xxx)

AND I CAN TOTALLY TELL YOU ABOUT LIKE WHAT MADE ME LEAVE SCHOOL AND EVERYTHING!!! we will save that for the dms if u want 😌 bc it is a little deep BUT IT'S SO FUNNY TO EXPLAIN LMAOO SORRY i def cope with humor BUT I LOVED READING YOUR LIVE REACTIONS 😭😭 and thank you for your kind words <33 i hope you're also doing better now!! and i'm always here to listen to you whenever and wherever!!! i wish u could've thrown a soundboard at him!!! he totally would deserve it </3 I WISH WE HAD DONE TECH TOGETHER TOO!!!

I SLAPPED MY HAND OVER MY MOUTH AT THE WATTPAD DIALOGUE OMG 😭😭😭 BUT YOU'RE 100% ACCURATE THAT'S LITERALLY WHAT IT WAS LIKE I'M CRYING 😭😭😭

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MANGO ANON <33 YOU ARE LITERALLY MY IRL SUNARIN!!! WE NEED TO MEETUP NOW!!!! /SRS /SRS /SRS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i totally get it like i NEVER read yn as my own name sometimes i do and then i go "ewwww never again" like i read yn as "yuh na" IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT like i think my brain has shortened "your name" so it's just like an abbreviation????? IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT BUT I GET IT LMAO 😭😭😭

LMAO PLEASE MANGO ANON IK I WAS THE ONE WHO TALKED ABOUT THE PURPLE HEART MAN FIRST BUT YOU REPEATING BACK THE ENTIRE STORY TO ME REALLY MADE ME GO "oh man that really is a lot." LIKE YEAH THAT SHOW WAS DEFINITELY HEXED OR SOMETHING 😭😭 i remember breaking a bracelet for that show </33 i was on run and props and i had to bring out like a balcony railing and then it snapped the bracelet </33 and then i just ran off bc like what am i gonna do?? fall to my knees and start picking up the beads?? NO I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT BRACELET IN MY LIFE!! IT WASN'T ME!!

AND AA OH NO :((( I STARTED OUT READING YOUR PARAGRAPH ABOUT THE TEAM BUILDING DAY LIKE :DDD yay bowling!! yay free hangout!! pizza!!! it was all fun!! no competition!!! and then you started talking about your coworker that was leaving and i went :((( like i switched tabs back to where i'm writing all this and my face was literally ☹☹☹☹ BUT your coworker was right!! i know you're literally the sweetest ever!!! and i'm so sad she's leaving but it's so sweet how long you guys have been together and how she trained you and everything!! and ik we already talked a little bit about what you may decide to do for work and once again i will support you no matter what!!

UNTIL NEXT TIME MANGO ANON!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M SO HAPPY I GOT TO REPLY TO YOU TODAY!! I HOPE THAT YOU ARE DOING WELL!! AND EAT GOOD FOOD AND DRINK LOTS OF WATER!! I'M ACTUALLY SENDING YOU MY BANK ACCOUNT INFORMATION SO THAT YOU CAN BUY YOURSELF SOMETHING!!! <33333 I LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH MWAH MWAH MWAH XOXOOXOXO <3333!!!!!!!!!!

[logicallyphan]

I need to ask you guys something and I need to know if I’m being dramatic or not. Sorry advance for the super long post RE my job life atm! Also please do not reply to the post. Just anon or message pls!!

I’ve been at my job for four and a half years now and its taking a toll on me,mentally. My boss is telling me that while im doing good, im not doing enough, leadership wise. the younger staff I work with don’t listen to me, let alone him. I work at a store that is mainly for 15-25 year olds so our younger staff is made up of that age group… which I do fall into but more towards the latter end.

There is little to no respect in that place. I have tried everything to get them to listen to me as I’m a shift lead and they just don’t care and im stuck doing their job PLUS my own. And on top of that it’s a consignment like shop, meaning for 4 and a half years I’ve had to decide if something is good enough for us to sell and if it’s not I basically have to tell them it’s not good enough. It’s awful. People get so upset over things that I have little to no control over.

But back to my point. My boss has been picking on me for the littlest of things lately. Him misreading my handwriting when my math was 100% accurate and he’s read it for years at this point. Him telling me I need to tell the girls to do more when I can only put out so much stock or clean so much before the job is done. Like all this little stuff that I can’t control.

And with the younger staff not listening to me, I’ve had to lie to them and told them the boss made a check list to follow when actuality I made it because they don’t want to listen. I ask them to do stuff and half the time they won’t do it! So guess who ends up doing it… me. And then my boss tells me to stop doing everyone’s job bc they’re standing around but it’s like I asked them and they just ignored me.

Idk I just feel like all my complaints and respect is ignored. And if I’m honest with you guys… this is the worst my mental health has been in a long ass time. I know for a fact it’s bc of this damn job. I fought to get this job for years and now that I’ve had for 4 and half years? I fucking hate it now.

I mean yeah sure it gave me great work experiences and I’ve made some friends and paid me great (doesn’t anymore lmao my vacation was paid for last year but not this year for no reason), it’s not worth it anymore. I feel like it went from the best job to the worst.

I should’ve left last year but I quit my second job after two weeks of working there bc I fucking hated it even more bc it was just fixing shoe displays for FOUR HOURS A DAY!???? I thought it would be more but nope. Anyways, here I am legit a month a way from vacation trying to find a new job asap and pray to god they give me the time off for it.

And lmao I kinda feel bad for my boss for doing this to him but like at the same time I don’t care. The only reason I feel bad is bc all staff but legit one person will be gone by September. Other than that, I’m over his bullshit. Depending on me to open the store, five days a week for two straight years but then not give me full time hours (I’m only 30 hours a week, most full time where I am is 40 hours and I am not aloud to go past 36 per week at this job) and no options for benefits??? The fuck? It’s bullshit. I’m scared he’s not gonna let me finish up once I give my two weeks bc he’s petty like that.

I’ve given my all to something that I can’t even love anymore bc it’s worn me down to the point where I cry coming home once a week or more. Am I dramatic?? Or is it really that bad? I look back at a year ago and even then I don’t remember it being as bad as it is now. I remember just needing a second job for the money, not bc I hated my job. Something has shifted in six months to make me just hate it so much. And yes, I am aware that everyone hates their job at some point, but like, I shouldn’t come home crying after work all the time.

Pls note, it isn’t simple as reporting my boss to HR… he’s the owner and manages every aspect of our store down to accounting lol. I have nobody to report him to.

Thank you for coming to my life story. Pls like, comment and subscribe and don’t forget to click that follow button.

(I’m sorry for that… I just had to make myself giggle after writing all this)

[rupsmorge]

Hold Me, Please?

Spencer Reid x Gn! Reader

Summary: Spencer doesn't realize reader's rought day at work is the cause of their quietness. So being the genius he is, he starts spewing facts just to be inturpted by a sad reader who wants cuddles asap.

Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

cw: hospital, discussion childhood cancer, death in childhood (lightly skimmed over), chronic fatigue & pain, cursing, case talk (made up case)

an: hi! this is my first fanfic so it's probably gonna be rough lol. My y/n's will most likely all have a chronic illness or disablity of some kind and a lot will mention childhood cancer or working in a hospital. Im disabled and rarely see y/n with them. Also my dream job is to be an oncology childlife specialist. anyways have fun & pls be nice to me :D

Spencer didn't think twice about you being quiet after coming home from work. He knew how fatigued you were after working long hours at the children's hospital. What he didn't know is that your silence wasn't because of fatigue or pain, but because today was bad. In fact, bad didn't even cover it- today was hell. Being a Child Life Specialist on the oncology floor had it's perks but it also has some rough downfalls. The hardest two are having newly diagnosed kids- because you know the grueling treatment they're about to experience- and the kids who's lives that have ended too early. Today, oh lordy, today seemed to be a shit show of both. There were 3 freshly diagnosed kids and one passing all in 10 hours. Its a lot to process and recover from and one way you cope is by become quiet.

Some days you just don't feel like talking. It's not always because you're exhausted or grieving, you just aren't in the mood for speaking. So it's not Spencer's fault for misinterpreting your silence.

As soon as you changed clothes and walked into the kitchen, Reid started to tell you all the new facts he learned from a mushroom documentary he watched. He followed you to the breakfast bar, leaning against it as he talked while simultaneously watching you make a warm cup of tea.

You see, today was a rare day Spencer had off. He'd been on a case in Maine that dealt with mushrooms being used in helping with decomposition. To say the least, the unsub was not a fun guy (fungi, get it? lmao I'm dumb) and the team needed a well deserved break.

And while you usually, almost always, love his factual rambles, all you wanted was for him to be quietly cuddling with you on couch as you watch Little Shop of Horrors. Being in his arms was both of you twos favorite thing. He loved to play with your hair as he held onto you while you played with the side seam of his shirt absentmindedly.

"I know you say it as a joke but I don't think we can say 'People eat dead mushrooms, mushrooms eat dead people,' anymore. The case really ruined it. Did you kn-"

You probably didn't know but at the moment you didn't care so you interrupted him- "Spencer, I love you. But please just shut up for a minute and hold me. Please?"

Wide eyed, Spencer immediately realized why you had been so quiet and moppey; today was a "bad one". "It was a bad day wasn't it? I'm sorry, love. Come on, let go snuggle."

And with that being said, he grabbed a hold of your hand and dragged you to the couch. Spencer layed down first, then pulled you on top of him, knowing you liked to lay your head on his chest. The sound of his heart's steady beat always calms you down. Once all snuggled down and comfy you opened up.

"Today was awful, Spence. So many new commers, so many families are having their lives flipped upside down. But we also lost a kiddo today. I know I can't tell you much cause of HIPPA but, god Spencer, I'm so fucking tired of seeing cancer take these sweet, innocent souls."

As you started to cry a little, Spencer lightly traced your arms up and down with his fingers. "I know you do bubs. I'm so sorry... How about we order some Mexican food and watch your favorite musical? Try to get your mind off of it?"

"That sounds perfect. Thank you, bubba. I love you and I'm sorry I told you to shut up."

Spencer lightly laughed at your comment "it's okay. I probably would of too if I were in your shoes. I love you."

You kissed him softly and quickly on the lips then nuzzled into the crook of his neck just as Spencer started the movie. Maybe today could be a little better than before, because in Spencer's arms everything seemed to be okay again.

[muraar]

My not so relatable co op experience™ with these mains

This is not a stereotype just my personal experiences in genshin. Take everything with a grain of salt or maybe just skip it entirely if you feel like you might be offended. The ones I've excluded? I dont see them often in co op.

Albedo

*drops flower* my job here is done,

Harbinger of dawn so gotta keep hp above 90%, understandable

*casually doing 20k per bloom dmg* wtf what u feeding him, spare some RNG luck

BENNETT

SON!!!!!!! AND PRECIOUS BOY!!!!!!!! Always welcomed in any domain, (except cwof maybe?) but yes best boy, best support and usually Bennet mains are pretty flexible, and more willing to use support character/healers in co op.

Diluc

I AM JEALOUS, SO SO JEALOUS. also I saw that wolves gravestone so please stop attacking randomly I just wanna take a photo with Diluc. Stay still for one minute dammit.

Eula

Fastest speed runs I've had in the emblem set domain was with a Eula main. Honestly, pretty straight to the point. 10/10 would do domains again. the enemies are always dead before that sword explodes :((((

Diona

Heh, you didn't get zhongli did you? Lmao sorry back to the point. Pretty chill but please give that shield asap, whenever the skill is off cooldown, my Ayaka is dying have mercy.

Ganyu

When someone uses ganyu I know that I can just chill and viola the challenge is already complete. Kinda scary with that 250+ crit damage tho 😳

Kazuha

Stop swirling Pyro dammit, I'm using blizzard strayer I need them affected by cryo 😭😭. But srsly inspite of that the melt dmg I get is just 😩👌

AYAKA

My queen and sweetheart 🥰 I am one myself and most of them are pretty co operative and polite. Entering everyone's world to get some Sakura blossoms,🥺 pls just let us have them. Also Shoutout to that one player who let me use my Ayaka in domain and used diona instead. Tysm for that cryo resonance <3

Raiden Shogun

80 energy cost what?? My burst is always up even before the cooldown ends. Just endless Ayaka Bursts everywhere, so thank you for that. Also pls u are immune to electro charged I am not, stop using your skill and killing me with water nearby 😭

Xiao

Our boy is a glass canon 😔 those 50k per plunge don't come easy and I understand. Not having that NRE equiped in a team with no healers? Then realising it mid battle? ouch

Zhongli

Actual lifesavers, c2 zhongli! ? BLESSING. Especially in event domian like energy amplifier. As soon as we got a c2 zhongli haver in our team that challenge became cakewalk. (we were trying for the last hour at least) word of advise always have a friend with c2 zhongli, you don't know when you might need them next

KOKOMI

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU, 😩♥️ WHEN I SEE A KOKOMI IN CO OP I FEEL LIKE I CAN USE XIAO WITHOUT WORRYING ABOUT ANYTHING. THE SWEETEST AND WHOLESOME WILL NOT LET YOUR HP GO LOW AT ALL!!!!!!

I appreciate you guys a lot - sincerely a xiao main

Childe

Shoutout to veteran childe players, I mean after I go back to range stance idfk what to do, aiming is hard😔. Crit rate barely going above 47% 😞 it's a universal struggle also are those 10/10/10 talents I see 👀?

Jean

🤔 Most I've played with are just standard healers and I've never been yeeted by one either. I thought this was a sacred act that Jean mains must perform in co op? :( then why exclude me?

Venti

That back hole every is active all the time, do you not have any cooldown? How much ER do you have???

Hu tao

First to die or never die at all. No in between, also how does it feel like living in the cwof domain? How much of your soul did u sell for that crit circlet?

+new addition

Noelle

You scare me

[aruuq]

Genshin Boys and what do they do when you are sick

characters: tartaglia(childe), zhongli, xiao, scaramouche [separately] x gn!reader

genre & style: fluffy fluff

word count: 1.3k

notes: i wanted to do headcanons with genshin boys and how they treat you when you have a fever, because last week i had huge fever, due to second dose of vaccine, but decided to do general sickness-related headcanons. i’m getting to know characters and how to write them and it’s my first genshin post on this account, so take any mischaracterizations easy, pretty please!

warnings: mention of light sickness. i think it had a proofread – i’m not sure – i was drunk when my friend read that. oh, and scara is a lil bitch.

Part two is here

Tartaglia

This man has lots of younger siblings. For sure he does know what to do when a person is sick. And he would put special effort to make sure you feel better asap.

It’s canon for him to be a good cook. You don’t even have to tell him a word. The moment you wake up, you see freshly made porridge placed on a nightstand with a cute silly note, saying he had to go to do some business and that he loves you. Tartaglia would also make sure that one of his subordinates would bring you your favourite warm meal from Wanmin Restaurant just in time for lunch.

Childe checks up on you whenever he has even the littlest break from work. He just wants to make sure you are doing great!

This man insists that you should stay in bed until you get better. If you would try to do commissions, he would do literally everything to convince you that you should rest. He would beg you, if it would be what you want him to do. He’s just worried, okay, look into his puppy eyes and promise him that you would take care of yourself!

When he’s done with his Fatui responsibilities, he buys you all kinds of medicine and then rushes to your house.

Tartaglia snuggles to you in bed, even though you told him not to do this, because you don’t want him to catch your cold. He laughs at your words, telling you that it’s impossible for him to catch some weak illness. “Growing up in Snezhnaya, I got resistant to literally every disease known in this world. Some mere common cold can’t break me.”

The day later you can see him sneezing.

Zhongli

I’m sure he knows at least something about treating people. He may not be the best caregiver but for sure he feels very committed to his new side-job, which is taking care of you.

He knows a recipe for sobering up tea so I assume he knows a recipe for one which has good healing properties. Hopefully, you don’t have to wait ages for it to brew.

Tea? Got it. Warm meal? Got it. Medicine? Not yet. First a quick trip to Childe to borrow money. Then got it.

I feel that Zhongli would not seem to be worried for you, but deep deep inside he would feel at least a little scared. He knows you are tough and it’s just a common cold, but still, you are just a fragile mortal. Maybe he would take a few days off from work. Wangsheng Funeral Parlor surely can function without him, but you may need help. 

When you are sick, he changes into a real house husband – as if he wasn’t one normally. He cleans the whole house (including washing windows), runs errands, does laundry, even though you didn’t ask him to. 

Zhongli’s not a big fan of cuddles, but if you ask him to come to bed and snuggle with you a little, he would do it instantly.

He does literally everything that may help you get well – he’s changing compresses on your forehead for cold ones and helping you with eating if your muscles are sore. When you fall asleep, Zhongli admires you, caressing your cheek with his thumb, counts your breaths to make sure everything’s alright. When you wake up, he’s right next to you, fully awake, asking if you need anything. Marry him pls, he’s a perfect husband material.

Xiao

Little tsundere boy is scared. He does not know what to do. He never considered being so close with a mortal to delve into details of diseases and how to treat them. So, even if you have the simplest common cold, he thinks he might lose you.

At the beginning he would try to search it up by himself, since he doesn’t want to admit his worries to you, but with each successive piece of information read in a medic book, he would start to be truly terrified. It’s like searching for symptoms in Google but with no Google.

Eventually he would give up and just go straight to you, because he couldn’t calm himself down

You two would have a serious talk where you would have to promise him that you are not going anywhere. Resting his forehead against yours, Xiao murmurs that he loves you so much and that he trusts you. You spend the next two hours just cuddling and enjoying the mutual presence, quiet giggles breaking the silence from time to time.

He still needs to fulfil his Yaksha’s responsibilities, so, unfortunately, he needs to leave you, but first he makes sure to order you food, asking beforehand what’s best for quick recovery. 

If you have any commissions undone, Xiao makes sure to fulfil them for you. He brings you all the Mora he managed to earn. And you are like??? For what??? Why is he giving you money??? Then he tells you what a good boyfriend he is and how he coped with your work. As a compensation, give him headpats. He will blush instantly but won’t back off if this is what you want. The tips of his ears are fully red and his whole body is very tense. “I- You- Uhhh. Fine. Whatever makes you happy.”

He would even let you braid his hair, if you insist it would make you feel better. I love him so much. He’s perfect.

Scaramouche

Another tsundere mf. I don’t hate them, I love them, but I hate them. I can’t stand thinking about Scara. He’s just so. Uhhhh. And yet, here I am, writing some soft fluffy headcanons with him. 

You know what? First, I need to provide one important statement. He would be a big ass bitch he is, even though you are sick. He would not change his behavior. Actually, he would be even more annoying than on a daily basis. Yet he would be worried. And because of that he would be even more bitchy.

He would make fun of you. He would insult you. “At the beginning, how could you even catch a cold? What are you? A stupid five year old who wore no cap in winter?” AND THEN HE GIVES YOU HOMEMADE SOUP. BECAUSE HE WANTS YOU TO GET BETTER QUICKLY.

Scara doesn’t want you to lay in bed alone so he stays with you and makes sure you would not get bored. Of course, he wouldn’t tell you that he wants to keep you company. “What a pathetic being you are. Needing constant help, without the ability of surviving by yourself”. He speaks, as he pours you a cup of hot tea OF HIS OWN FREE WILL. ISTG SCARA NOBODY INVITED YOU, YOU CAN GO IF YOU ARE GOING TO KEEP BITCHING AROUND LIKE THAT.

If you get a high fever that won’t go down, he will get pretty scared. Because of that Scaramouche would be even more harsh towards you. Eventually, let’s say you even start crying. Now imagine fright in his eyes. Scara knows that crying does not help with fever. And he knows that it is his fault that you got so upset. Normally, he would be irritated by crying. But not when you are sick. Guilt begins to overwhelm him. A minute later you see him kneeling next to your bed, slowly caressing your palm with his thumb, murmuring that he is sorry.

After that little incident, until you feel better, Scara would guard you like an obedient dog. Make him one. Chasten him. He deserves that. He needs that.

[ashdoesfandomarchieved]

(this was too big for an ask, so I'm making a post. you're welcome)

@littlemisslol-fic It's come to my sexy attention that it's "gush over The Silent Opera hour" so I'm here to gush over The Silent Opera.

The world building is immaculate. The time and care you’ve taken to flesh out a believable soulmate au + the attention and detail to keeping everything canon consistent is insane. I’ve said this before, but I’m so crazy about the SO world that I would literally give my right hand to read a new dream origin fic in this universe.

And that’s crazy because LITERALLY THE MONTH I MET YOU I WAS COMPLAINING THAT I HATED SOULMATE AUS. AND LOOK NOW I’M OBSESSED WITH A FUCKING SOULMATE AU. So yknow good job now I’m insane.

Oh god and don’t get me started on characterization in this fic. My favorite tts/vat7k character for years has been Varian (followed closely by lady caine), but your Hugo characterization/pov has blown everything about that out of the water. When I think of Hugo (like the canon/not canon Hugo that Kait created), I think of this specific iteration of him because it feels like the most true to what they were aiming for in the og vat7k notes.

Varian is also a complete badass in his own right in this fic and literally the Most Blorbo ever. Someone pls give him a hug and his boyfriend ASAP I cannot take the angst anymore I need COMFORT FOR HIM.

OH GOD LETS TALK ABOUT YOUR OCS TOO. Landis is the Worst. The Absolute Worst. Congratulations you’ve officially created a worse character to antagonize Varian than Andrew. We all want him dead.

Anyway it’s been an absolute wild ride from start to finish, and I’m really looking forward to the finish! You deserve heaps of praise and recognition for this au, considering the amount of love and effort you’ve put into it! Can’t wait for the finale <3

[thegamingcatmom]

Lady D is gonna be in the Rose DLC and here is why - WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD

Okay so, I can´t be the only one to have noticed this. Or maybe yall already been there and done that and are like “duh”.

Either way, as I was watching the gameplay trailer for the Shadows of Rose dlc (which looks absolutely DOPE btw, October can´t come fast enough) there was one detail I immediately picked up on and was like “is this...can it be...HAVE MY (and yours I´m sure) PRAYERS BEEN ANSWERED?!?”.

What do I mean? Why take a look at this:

Take a look at the lower right corner. Something´s about to come up from god knows where (somewhere in the megamycete´s consciousness I´m sure) to make a grab for Rose, it seems. While that is slighty concerning it didn´t seem like a huge deal to me at first (cause we all know it´s gonna end well...I hope). Just your usual mold monster, we´ve all been there, done that. No biggies.

But then things got clearer...

And clearer...

And clearer...

AND CLEARER:

DO YOU SEE WHAT I SEE???

Excuse my poor art job but that is CLEARLY a woman´s hand and not only that: said hand has got looong fingernails (again, my art job doesn´t do this justice) and holy, doesn´t that hand seem pretty fucking big to ya? I mean, look at how huge it is compared to Rose´s shoe. Some of you might say it´s the angle that´s making proportions look like this and it might be true to some extend. But watch the video again because it´s gonna become so much clearer seeing it in motion (and without my ugly doodle).

My theory on this is that our Lady is wanting some revenge for what Ethan did to her and her daughters. Because this is happening in the megamycete´s consciousness for sure and we all know by now that our dear Lords (and probably Ethan) are spending the rest of their (undead?) days there. Not sure how it all works yet.

Another thing I can imagine (and hope for) is the Lords might actually be looking for help? They knew from the very beginning how insanely powerful Rose is, always has been. Heisenberg even stated she was strong enough to take on Miranda - AS A BABY. And Miranda stated once that where Eveline was able to communicate with the mold and control it, Rose would basically be the mold...ruler? Able to control everyone connected to the megamycete and control the mold itself or something. As I´ve said, still not completely sure how it works.

So what if the Duke is truly the bad guy in this (cause he do seem like it) because we saw the way he´s been seemingly in control of these 3 mold monsters, which, it can't be a coincidence. It seems the daughters are gonna be back, albeit a bit...differently. But I digress...my point is that the Duke seems in control of things now and maybe that´s been the plan from the very beginning? Someone else on tumblr pointed out already that Duke pretty much had all the info he needed to decimate the Lords and MM. He just needed an idiot to carry out the plan (sorry Ethan).

So, what if Rose was somehow able to bring back anyone who died and ended up joining the megamycete´s records? We saw her holding a flask with what looked suspiciously like “New Vessel” written on it. She and the flask started to glow and that´s where the scene ends pretty much. Is it possible we´re gonna get an awesome showdown between Rose and the Duke - the true evil? The Lords, revived by Rose, joining in to save the day and get their freedom at last? (I want it so badly, PLS FREE MY BABIES)

Also, who is writing to Rose in the castle? Is it her father? One of the Lords? Hell, even Miranda?? (My bet is on Ethan because that someone clearly cares about Rose and wants her outta there ASAP...unless it´s a trap.)

And what about Mother Miranda? Are rumors true of her potentially being Rose´s biological mother? Because the similarities are...there. Could that (evil?) doubleganger of Rose maybe be an alternate version who actually ended up being Miranda´s daughter? Because we know the megamycete´s consciousness is a world where reality is twisted and warped beyond recognition. A “what if” scenario so to speak. But also, what about Mia? What happened to her? Did Rose lose control and kill her by accident? Is that why she wants her powers gone so badly?

Speaking of powers, is ANYONE gonna encourage Rose to NOT follow through with it? Because she IS the mold basically, so what happens without the power to control it? Is she even a real person without it (cause it´s gotta be like 90% mold, 10% water with her)? SO MANY QUESTIONS.

Oh and another thing I found noteworthy and also pretty dope is the name of the dlc. Considering the whole “Village of Shadows” thing, (the book and all that). There´s gotta be a connection, I KNOW there is, but my brain´s too tired to dwell on it any further after this analysis....for now.

And wow I´ve digressed hardcore considering all I wanted was to show a (the) lady´s hand. Whoopsie. Oh well, when inspiration hits you gotta roll with it.

What do you think we´re gonna see? What do you want to see?

(I know what I wanna see...)

[billionairebabes]

Hi!! So I finally got a new job,but I don’t understand why people feel the need to try to bully me. The black people there are already against me and they’ve called me weak. There’s a guy and girl there that are 6+ years older than me (I’m 21).The first day they both met me they let me know that they could tell I’m not from the hood and everyday they bully me . They’ve let me know that they will not stop harassing and being mean to me and I’ve asked to to stop but they don’t. I try to ignore them but I don’t like going into work anymore. I’m not sure if maybe a office job isn’t for me or what. I promised myself after my last job of harassment,bullying and racism that the first time I was uncomfortable I would leave. I’m finding a new job ASAP,pls give me some advice.

Hi babe, sorry I took so long to answer this. I genuinely didn't know how to answer but I think I have ideas now.

I think if you're repeatedly running into this issue then you may need to do more due diligence prior to even applying to a company. By this, I mean checking out reviews on sites like Glassdoor. I do this for any company I'm seriously thinking about working for. Many current and former employees will leave reviews of their experiences. Another thing I've done is reach out to current and former employees on LinkedIn. Typically black women. Many people are usually open to talking about their experiences and mostly have no reason to lie about it. This can also help you gain connections at the company and possibly land a referral.

As far as the bullying goes, this is an HR issue. I've never worked at a company where blatant bullying was tolerated and if HR doesn't take any action then it's time to get out.

Don't let these experiences make you think corporate isn't for you if it's something you want to do. Black women deserve the security corporate provides as well. These people are just weird. Imagine being almost 30 feeling like you need to bully someone fresh out of college. ick.

[cotccotc]

SKZ + a ftm s/o !!

 ◌ ftm (female-to-male) refers to a transgender person who was assigned female at birth, but identifies as male. these people are awesome, lovely, brave, & valid !! (yes that’s part of the official definition !!!! look it up <3)

part of my eight as fate event !! ( requested by @lixsmullet​ ♡ )

genre/s: fluff, skz x ftm reader

warning/s: mentions of dysphoria, mentions of periods, one very brief implication of transphobia (NOT IN REFERENCE TO THE MEMBERS DW), use of various pet names, swearing, my dumb formatting and commentary uwu

wc: ~1.5k

a/n: i hope i did this req justice !!! i made sure to do a lot of research on topics that might come up in this situation so i hope everything is accurate, but also inclusive for multiple types of people within the ftm umbrella. the descriptions might not be too deep but pls know they were written with a lot of care. OH ALSO i included potential pet names they might use !! i really really hope y’all enjoy this :) lmk what u think !!

◌ CHAN

chan’s known for putting other people’s needs before his own, and this is no exception.

he’d be super giving !!! would buy you “world’s best boyfriend” mugs and shit !!! it’s cringe but you love him so it’s fine !!!

more on top of your doctors appointments or meds than you are tbh

boy oh boy… if you take/decide to start taking testosterone……

LOOK OUT HERE COMES THE T POLICE KJDF

he just wants to do everything he can to help you !!!!! whether it means literally helping you stay on top of things and being your at-home (emotional) therapist, or giving you space.

i feel like he’s very good at detecting how a person feels based on their face or body language, so he’d always be on the lookout in case you might be feeling off or dysphoric.

and, as much as it might pain him, he’d give you as much time/space as you need. once again, he has your best interest in mind 24/7 !!! he just loves you so much, you know? 🥺

potential pet names (as long as you’re ok with them !! that goes for each member.): babyboy (we saw this one coming), foxy/sexy (mostly sarcastic but also… True), sunshine

◌ MINHO

a thing that i personally love to imagine: minho introducing you to people as his boyfriend

if anybody ever gives either of you a questioning look afterward (either intentionally or not) he wouldn’t waver at all !!! he’d just stand there and keep smiling. because you’re his boyfriend, duh

constantly reminds you how strong you are !! how super tough and cool you are !!! because it’s true !!!!!!!

i feel like i always make him sound like the ceo of Boyfriend Bootcamp in my reactions but i MEAN???

for example, if you’re ever feeling down (for whatever reason. whether it applies to you being trans or not) he’d be like “MAN UP !!! YOU’RE A WARRIOR !!!! ……. a cute one <3333 bUT A STRONG ONE !!!!!!”

in general, i definitely see him as the type of person who’ll just grab your hand or hold you a little closer in situations where he thinks you might feel uncomfortable, and even if he doesn’t directly acknowledge it, you know there’s a lot of love and care behind the gesture.

also… you’re sad? here, hold a cat.

potential pet names: stud (as a joke.. but it stuck), anything that starts with “my” (like my boy, my baby, my love, etc.)

◌ CHANGBIN

ok listen

i’m not calling changbin lazy

HOWEVER

he will most definitely try and make you do “manly” things for him when he doesn’t feel like it- SJDJJ

imagine his raspy, tough, yet adorably whiny voice being all:

“BAAAABE…. BABYYYYYY….. come lift this fOR MEEEEEEEE”

ESPECIALLYYYY if you’re taller than him oh my Lord

BUT HE’D DENY IT AT ALL COSTS !!!

changbin, pointing to an object on a tall shelf: “BABE can you get this for me? you’re so strong you can do it <3333”

you: “short ass-”

changbin: “hEY”

ALSO if you menstruate, i personally believe that he would be very comforting to have around during that time !!!!! just chillin on the couch !!!!!! vibin !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

your very own personal heating pad <33 jksjfd

potential pet names: babe, bunny, hot stuff (sometimes used for moments of sarcasm !!! there are lots of those..)

◌ HYUNJIN

he’s very sweet and loving with you, which never changes despite anything you might be going through. like ,,,ever.

i can see him being especially sweet and helpful for someone who doesn’t want to or can’t surgically transition !!!!

would do everything he could to emphasize the fact that you’re his favorite boy !!!!

whether it’s through activities, pet names, playful jokes, etc., he always wants to remind you how manly and lovely you are !! lolll

i present to you a thought that just popped up in my head and Will Not Leave:

you might normally be the little spoon, but if you ever feel a bit off about your body or just don’t want to be held, THIS BOY WILL GET CURLED UP IN A LITTLE SPOON POSITION FOR YOU !! SO VERY FAST !!!

(is it also an excuse for him to be the little spoon? yeah maybe it is-)

potential pet names: hubby (regardless of whether or not you’re married sjdsdf), prince, things that start with “my”

◌ JISUNG

asks lots of questions !!!!!!! whenever he’s not sure how to proceed with something or has any general questions about being trans or how to support you, he’ll be completely transparent with you about it.

even though it makes him a lil embarrassed 🥺🥺

will overuse the terms “dude” and “bro” just to make you laugh… but you both know there’s a hidden underlayer of validation there

loves cheering you up when you’re not feeling your best !!!

also ,,,,,,Youtube Research Enthusiast

“hey y/n check this out! let’s try it :D” and it’s a two minute video about how to naturally lower your voice

and you go along with it because a.) he’s cute for suggesting it, b.) it could actually be useful, and c.) he’ll look cute stretching his neck for a few minutes and it would be a valuable use of your time to watch him do it <3 jsjdfh

oh also !!!! we know he’s just Like This anyways, but he will indeed take every chance he gets to kiss random parts of your body like your hands, shoulders, the tip of your nose, and anything else you’re comfy with :) he just likes 2 smooch, what can i say?

potential pet names: anything silly !! bubba, baby/babycakes, good lookin’, etc.

◌ FELIX

this is somewhat similar to what i’d suggested in my nonbinary coming out reaction, but i feel like he’d take a lot of care to make you feel more confident in yourself !!!

especially when it comes to your appearance !!!!! if you ever decide to try out a new hairstyle, different clothing, etc., he’d HYPE YOU UPPPPP omg

you: *exists*

felix: *silly smirk* “my handsome boy.. hehe” 🥺

bakes for u !!!!!!! will come over asap with freshly baked cookies if he even senses you might not be feeling your best !!!!!!!!!!!!!

we all know he’s a real cuddlebug, but since you’ve explained dysphoria to him (to the best of your ability), it’s very important to him that he doesn’t overstep with the physical affection

he might also suggest you use a code word or gesture to signify if it’s ok for him to get all close and cuddly with you !! he knows you have your off days, and the last thing he wants to do is emphasize your insecurities.

he loves you more than anything, and he just wants to see you smile :)

potential pet names: handsome, love, sweets (bc ya know,,, brownie boy things <3)

◌ SEUNGMIN

would regularly spend hours and hours doing research on trans rights, different forms of transitioning, other people’s perspectives (both in his position and yours), etc

honestly i wouldn’t be surprised if he posted some questions on a website like reddit or quora or something from time to time SJDK (but eventually he’d be much more comfortable asking you directly, especially since he knows not every person is the same)

he really just wants to make sure he understands how you feel to the best of his ability in order to best care for you !!!

VERY VERY diligent if he has to adjust to new pronouns. would practice that shit like it’s his JOB.

i think he’d just be very scared of screwing something up, which you might have to console him about from time to time.

you know he’s trying his best to a.) not make this about himself and b.) do everything in his power to support you

sorta similarly to changbin, i think he’d be nice to have around if you’re ever on your period !! overall, this boy would do his RESEARCH

potential pet names: baby, mister (for some playful sarcasm), bear (or baby bear, honey bear, etc.)

◌ JEONGIN

if you’re ever feeling dysphoric, depressed, anxious, or generally not the best, he will do WHATEVER IT TAKES to cheer you up.

you: :(

jeongin: “ok fine you have permission to poke my cheeks all day”

you: :D

jeongin: :D

is also very similar to changbin !!!!! he’ll very dramatically give up on a task that requires even the slightest bit of manliness just so you can do it for him…. because he’s laz- i mean thoughtful <33

ok picture something with me besties (and this is quite random so bear with me):

he buys you cologne. cute !! very sweet of him yes <3 …...but the Backstory-

he had No idea what kind to get, so he went to the store and tried on like 10 different kinds until he realized he could just swatch them on a piece of paper so now he’s covered in cologne and he buys the one he thought was his favorite but he comes home to realize it was the WRONG ONE so he has to go back to the store and test them all again until he finds the one

..all just so he could surprise you & make you feel more masculine :’)

anyways LONG STORY SHORT: innie best boy :D

potential pet names: bun (in reference to bread, of course. you must match.), handsome, sexy (BUT ONLY IF YOU SAY IT RIGHT BACK !!!!!! sexy loaf boyfriends aw <3)

tags: @stayndays, @hanniiesuckle17, @leggomylino, @freckledberries, @kisskissbanggang, @mr-jisung-main, @childofthecosmos, @kpopscape, @skzwriternet, @hyunsins, @sleepylixie, @sunshine-skz, @vera-liscious, @thatrandomoneinthecorner, @cyberskz​, @seungminsaidsta, @somethingrandomworld, @ethan806 ( join my tag list !! )

©️ cotccotc 2021 ~ all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[starconchess]

ah wait this is actually very urgent 😭 my mom is out of her insulin and she needs $60 to go get more. she'll need it before the pharmacy closes tonight(around eight p.m central standard time) so this is very urgent and needed asap. omg im so sorry for making another post hopefully once my new job takes off i wont have to make so many 😭

paypal.me/akirk432 (pls send via friends and family)

cashapp: $autumnroses93

venmo: @catmom934 (pls dont send via purchase protection)

[datleggy]

Totally random thought I had right as I am going to bed but ya know that show "I didn't know I was pregnant"? Buck would be on that show lol the boy is oblivious when it comes to his own body, so like I can perfectly picture him collapsing on the job one day wracked with pain, and then Hen is poking around his stomach where it hurts, her, Buck and Eddie packed into the back of the ambulance as Chim and Bobby drive to the hospital, and she gets out the stethoscope to try and listen for internal bleeding or anything but instead finds an infant heartrate and she's like "Buck, you're pregnant?" And he's like "uh, no? What the hell?" And then his water breaks and he tries to convince hen and Eddie that he had an accident bc even that would be a better alternative to suddenly figuring out he's about to have a baby???? What the fuck???? But Eddie holds his hand all the way through it and by the time they get to the hospital, Buck has a healthy newborn cradled against his chest, Eddie knelt beside him and alternating between kissing buck and the baby on the head, and observing the baby in disbelief. I can also picture Buck like, sobbing his sorry's to Eddie the entire time he's pushing, like "Eddie I swear I had no idea, if I had known, I would have told you!" And Eddie is just reassuring him the entire time like "don't worry about that now, Buck, just concentrate. No one is mad, okay? But you gotta focus on the- on the baby" and buck just sobs and nods and focuses on the delivery again. But for a good while Buck is in denial that any of this is happening and it takes a lot of convincing and encouragement from both hen and Eddie for him to start actively participating in his baby's birth. Anyways, random half asleep thought is finished sorry for the long ask hdshsjjsjdbsjsj

WELL SHIT ok so i actually love that show and i could see buck doing this lmao so i wrote a thing. also ignore all medical inaccuracies, this is my distraction from monday lmao let me have this wildly inept fic pls. 

also just in case, it’s pretty brief, i think, but TW for talk of weight and weight gain

It's nearing the end of their shift now and Buck can almost hear his feet howling at him in pain. Today hadn't even really been all that busy, he thinks, annoyed at his own body's betrayal. He's not even thirty yet, but in the last couple of months he's felt as though he's aged about ten years.

He's put on a few pounds, which isn't too uncommon, sometimes Buck goes through stretches of time where he eats more carbs than he needs and works out less than he'd like and so a little tummy fat is to be expected.

It normally doesn't bother him, except that in the last maybe three months he hasn't felt like exercising much outside of work but he's eaten nearly everything in sight every night. He's up about fifteen pounds, which he wouldn't have even noticed, seeing that he does fluctuate at times anywhere between five to eight pounds over or under what he usually weighs, if it hadn't been for Chimney teasing him about putting down his third Krispy Kreme donut of the day and picking up a barbell earlier this morning.

Chim and Buck poke fun at each other all the time--it's a staple in their friendship and brother ship, in fact--and Buck had flipped him the bird, nothing new there. What had been new was the fact that he'd excused himself to the bathroom right after that and locked himself in a stall and bawled his eyes out as quietly as humanly possible.

Buck grimaces, embarrassed still, by the outburst, even if no one had been there to witness it. He still has no idea what the hell that had been about this morning.

Eddie notices the sour mood and pulls him in close. "Hey, you ok?"

Buck nods. "Yeah, just tired. Ready to go home--shit." Buck feels a shooting pain so intense his knees buckle and Eddie has to hold him upright to keep him from hitting the floor. 

“Woah!” Eddie calls Bobby over, who’s closest, for help, “Buck? Buck, you with me? What’s wrong? What hurts?” 

Buck just shakes his head and grits his teeth, the pain so debilitating he can hardly breathe much less speak. 

The Captain is on his other side in an instant and together Eddie and Bobby help Buck towards the couch, where he collapses in a heap, throwing his head back and letting out an agonized whine. “What’s going on? Did he get hurt during one of the calls?” Bobby asks Eddie, frantic to help put a stop to this. 

Eddie’s helpless, “Bobby I don’t know, one second we were talking about going home and the next he practically fell to the floor in pain.” he turns to face his husband, “Baby, I’m here, look at me, what’s the matter? What hurts?” 

Buck’s face scrunches up and he finally exhales sharply, his grip on the couch cushions loosening, and he opens his eyes, wide like saucers, and says, “What the fuck was that?” 

At this point Hen and Chim, as well as half the crew, have gathered around and Hen is quick to put on her doctors hat and try to sus out the problem. She makes Bobby step aside and Chimney hands her a stethoscope. “Buck, is it your stomach?” she asks, noticing the stiff way he’s holding himself around his midriff. 

“I don’t--kinda? I don’t know. It was just like, this crazy wave of pain, almost like a cramp, but way worse.” he struggles to describe the feeling now that it’s more or less passed for the time being.  

Hen had seen Buck wince when he’d been in the harness on the last call of the day, but he hadn’t said anything and she hadn’t thought too much about it until now. “Did you hurt yourself in the harness earlier? Maybe pulled something when we reeled you back up?” she asks, palpitating his stomach with her fingers, watching him almost retract from her touch. 

“Maybe?” Buck shrugs uncomfortably, wincing when she hits a particularly sore spot. 

Something about this feels familiar and strangely obvious, but Hen doesn’t understand why until she puts her stethoscope up to his belly to check for lack of bowel sounds, indicating maybe some internal bleeding or sorts. 

Hen gasps out loud and sits up like she’s been smacked. 

Eddie frowns. “What? What’s wrong? Is he gonna be ok?” He almost wants to snatch the damn stethoscope out of her ears and check for himself, his eyes darting between Hen and Buck nervously. 

“Buck, you’re pregnant. And in labor, by the sounds of it.” Hen blurts out in disbelief. 

“What.” Buck blinks at her, waiting for the other shoe to drop. This has to be a joke. 

“I heard a heartbeat in there...” Hen informs them, still awed. “Buck, that was a contraction you just experienced.” 

Eddie gapes at Hen and then at Buck. “You’re pregnant?” 

Buck gapes right back at him. “No!” he denies, shaking his head incredulously. “That’s insane, I can’t be pregn--ah--” Buck leans forward in pain as another contraction begins. “Fuck.” 

“Jesus, yeah, no you’re definitely pregnant,” Chim announces, “Your water just broke all over my favorite couch, bud. I’m getting the ambulance ready asap.” he says, before running to do just that, head reeling. He thinks about Maddie and when she gave birth to their daughter and how scared out of his mind he’d been and he sympathizes for Buck and Eddie, who up until now apparently hadn’t even realizes they were expecting... 

Back at the lounge Buck continues to deny any of this is even happening. He whines into Eddie’s chest, “That’s pee, it has to be, because I’m not pregnant. There’s no way.” he lets out a pitiful whimper as another contraction begins and buries his face against his husband to hide the tears springing up in his eyes. 

“Buck, son, we gotta get you to a hospital right now.” Bobby tries, running a soothing hand over the top of his head. 

But Buck shakes his head no, shuddering out a sob. “M’not going.” 

Eddie, overwhelmed, looks to Hen and Bobby for help. 

“Buck, ambulance is ready to go, we need to move unless you wanna have this kid at the firehouse.” Hen grimaces. “I know you’re in pain and I know you’re confused and hurting, but we need to get you into that ambulance and now.” 

Buck cries out when another contraction hits him and Hen gulps. “Your contractions are getting way too close together, we need to move.” she nods at her Captain and Eddie to help get Buck up and together the three of them manage to get Buck onto a gurney and into the waiting ambulance.

Bobby rides up front with Chimney, leaving Hen and Eddie to work in the back with Buck. 

“Buck, you need to start getting ready to push, this baby’s coming.” Hen warns him, but Buck refuses. 

“I can’t.” he sobs. “I didn’t--” he throws his head back, the pain lighting his nerves on fire. “I swear Eddie, I didn’t know. You gotta believe me.”

Eddie takes Bucks hand into his and brings it up to his lips. “I know baby, I know, you don’t have to worry about that. I promise. Nobody is mad at you, ok? I’m not. But right now you need to focus on pushing, you need to listen to Hen, ok? We’re ok, and you’re gonna be ok, but I need you to push, baby. I love you so much, you know that, right?” 

Buck lets Eddie wipe away his tears, leans into the comforting touch, and nods shakily, exhaling. “O-ok, I’m--I’m ready.” 

.

.

.

**************

.

.

.

The baby is so very tiny in Eddie’s arms. 

Olive Buckley-Diaz is born weighing exactly six pounds and two ounces. 

Christopher, who’s curled up against Bucks side on the hospital bed after a very exhausting day, looks up at his Buck, his little brow still knitted in confusion. “So she was a surprise baby? And that’s how come you guys didn’t tell me about her?” 

Buck tries not to laugh. “Yeah bud, it was a huge surprise to us, too.” 

Eddie nods along, smiling fondly down at the bundle he’s holding. Her blotchy red face is slack in sleep and there’s already tufts of brown hair sticking up funnily on her head under her hat. “I still can’t believe you only gained like fifteen pounds during the whole pregnancy.” Eddie chuckles, “Or that you worked through the nine months, God Buck, when I think of the stunts you pulled during calls in the last few months alone I’m--” he shudders. “Actually I’d rather not think about it.” he sighs, “I’m just happy you’re both healthy at the end of the day.” 

Really, it’s a miracle. The doctor had said as much after the delivery. 

“To be fair I never got any of the other symptoms,” Buck shrugs. “I wasn’t nauseous, my feet never swelled, I don’t remember any weird cravings? And you said it yourself, I didn’t really gain all that much weight.” 

Eddie leans down to kiss Buck’s forehead. “You should be on that show.” he grins. 

Buck tilts his head. 

“You know the one, the one Hen made us watch when work was slow that one time. ‘I didn’t know I was pregnant’.” he teases. 

Buck groans. “I regret all the jokes I made at the time. I totally get those people now. Pregnancy is weird.” 

Christopher rests his head more comfortably against Bucks chest and smiles softly. “Yeah, but now our family’s even bigger.” 

.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

OBEY ME! LESSON 59 DETAILED SUMMARY + DISCUSSION/THEORIES

*I wrote this days after the lesson was first posted and never bothered to go back and edit it so meaning there will be me theorizing about the next lesson as well

*I write a small para for each chapter and I write it immediately after finishing that chapter so there’ll be theorizing about the next chapter too

*I swear more than usual here

*Some of the dialogue is heavily plagiarized and a few is lifted directly from the story, the game is to figure which is which.

*Summaries and Discussions/theories for all the other lessons can be found on this blog under #obey me spoilers or #my theories or #my headcanons

There’s spoilers for The Arcana down there too in the 6th para…. Don’t ask me how or why it just happened

Asmo greets them in the morning and they have normal breakfast/early morning talk sprinkled in with things like how great the waffle maker is and ‘get a cuppa coffee yourself it’s just a button on the espresso machine’ and ‘remember when Satan thought the Roomba was a vehicle was cats?’. Satan blushes and says he meant it can ALSO be used as a cat vehicle but Levi says they all know that’s BS. Lucifer already looking tired tells Levi to sit down and eat and that Beel’s got whipped cream around his mouth. MC, now power crazy after becoming a legit sorcerer, uses their magic to make a napkin float and wipe Beel’s mouth. Beel blushes and thanks them. Belphie says it’s impressive that they don’t need to recite an incantation to use simpler magic. Mammon comes down half asleep and yawning and nearly trips over the cat’s vehicle when MC uses wordless magic to create a gust of him to pick him up and drop him on the couch. Lucifer praises them for it and Mammon snaps at them to be gentler next time they do something similar. Belphie asks if getting the full seal means anything has changed in MC’s magic and they say they can use more spells in this world now. Mammon says ‘cool just don’t use it to send me flying about again’. Beel asks if they can use summoning magic. Satan says it’s not the type of thing novices can do and even though Solomon will teach it to them now it’ll take a lot of practice. Lucifer tells them to start practicing soon and Asmo remembers the rest of them will be leaving soon (ugh I knew this was coming but I still hate it). Mammon asks if they really have to go back. If they can’t stay here longer and call it a homestay. Beel and Levi agree saying there’s more food/anime events here they want to experience. Lucifer tells them all to quiet down and eat breakfast, MC’s quiet an contemplates having to say goodbye again soon.

In Levi’s room he’s playing Devil Crossing and gushing over it. Asmo says he doesn’t get the game at all and Levi (kinda) explains why it’s so great. Satan asks Crowe to play the theme for “Another Purrrfect Day for Kitties in the Devildom” at max volume. Levi asks if Satan did that to be mean and he says the two of them were being so loud he couldn’t read his book, Levi tells him to go read in his room then. Beel tells Crowe he’s hungry and they say they’ll send a snack recipe to his DDD, Beel says forget snack and to send him one for a huge amount of food. Levi scolds him for ordering crowe around when they belong to him and Asmo says he thinks they should ask Barbatos to connect this house and the HoL together via portals so that they could visit whenever, and that it’d be the best example for friendly relations between their worlds. MC says they don’t know if Diavolo would agree and Levi agrees with them. Belphie says when Diavolo talks about peace and harmony between the three worlds he doesn’t think he means visiting the human world whenever. And Levi agrees with that. Asmo asks what makes them so sure and that they’re no fun at all. Satan says the two angels will probably stay here for longer. Asmo asks why angels et to stay and they don’t. Beel asks why they were sent down to the human world in the first place. Belphie says probably for the same reason they were sent to the Devilom – to learn about the world. Mammon comes to the door asking if MC’s there and they reply, he asks if they all never get sick of gaming (isn’t he the one who has weekly gaming nights with Levi, MC and sometimes Beel?). He tells MC they need to go to the angel’s halo asap cause Lucifer needs to deliver something to Barbatos. Belphie says that Lucifer probably told Mammon to do it and he’s heaping it on MC. Mammon tells him to stay quiet, that he’s busy and MC’s free. They don’t get much of a choice but I like to think they put up some token protest.

On the way they run into Diavolo and ask him where’s headed. He says he’s on the way back from the market. He asks where they’re going and when they reply he says he’ll join them as he’s craving Simeon’s coffee. They tell him that they heard about them all having to head home soon, he says he wants to stay longer but the new term at RAD is starting. He says they don’t need to feel sad though cause as a sorcerer all they need to do is learn summoning magic. He laughs and says that he’s never heard of a sorcerer summoning demons to their side just to hang out though. He says he knows Solomon can be a drill sergeant but he knows MC can do it and to hang in there. MC says that’s cool and all but I want to meet up with you too. He thanks them for saying that and says he feels the same and is sad that they won’t be able to see each other but without a pact between them they can’t summon him. And MC who has bigger balls than I could ever imagine having, whose bluntness gives me anxiety irl says cool so let’s forge a pact (WHEEZEEEE. You can’t just say that!? He’s the ruler of an entire dimension he can’t be under your control you dumbfuck I’m- Pls stop saying the first thing that comes to your mind! That moment in S2 where Diavolo and Solomon were acting all secretive and shady and MC just goes up to Solomon and says I wanna know the secret too still gives me anxiety. Fucking stop have some subtlety pls) And they don’t even ask it as a question? They just say “I’d like to forge a pact with you.” Ugh. I love MC but I could never be them. Diavolo, as expected, is stunned and speechless. He then bursts out laughing and later apologizes for it saying he didn’t mean to laugh and it just took him by surprise cause not even Solomon has had the guts to ask him that (You just know if the demon king was up and active MC’d just walk up to him and demand a pact too). And that he is happy they said that. He then gets serious and says he can’t cause as the future demon king he has his position to think of (Do you think the demon king will ever wake up? Or pass away? I mean Diavolo’s already doing his job I feel like this is something that can’t stay stagnant in the long run. And the demon king waking up would be an interesting storyline cause he’d technically outrank Diavolo but it was Diavolo who called the truce with the Celestial Realm so the last he knew the Devildom was still stuck in a war with the Celestial Realm, Lucifer and his brothers were still angels and humans were probably still on the menu…) Diavolo says though they can’t forge a pact he’ll always be there when they needed him and tells them not to forget that.  They can then hold his hand or put their arm through his. If they hold hands he asks if they can hold hands the rest of the way to the café and if they don’t mind that it feels a bit like a date. If they link arms he blushes and ask if they could slow down a bit cause it’s nice to walk through town together.

Luke and Simeon greet them at the café. Barbatos is surprised to see Diavolo but thanks MC for the delivery. After Simeon brings the coffee he’s told about the start of the new term at RAD. Luke is surprised that Lucifer and the brothers are leaving and asks if this means Diavolo will be going too, Diavolo says that as sad as it is they will have to. Luke looks really sad and says “…oh…” and says he hoped at least he’d be able to stay longer. This initially shocks Diavolo before he says he wishes so too but that in addition to the new term he has lots of personal business to take care of as well. Luke then asks if Barbatos will be leaving too. He says his place is at Diavolo’s side and he must follow him wherever he goes. Luke seems even more upset and doesn’t reply. Simeon says he understands that Luke is upset but if he keeps looking that sad it’ll only make it harder for everyone else. Luke blushes and says he’s not sad and that all he was thinking about was how boring it’d be without all of them around causing trouble. MC asks if the two angels will still be there. Simeon says they will be able to still each other and Luke cheers, Simeon then says it’ll still be sad that they won’t be able to see everyone whenever they want to, Luke blushes and insist he’s not sad. MC suggests throwing a farewell party. Diavolo thinks it’s a great idea and Simeon suggests calling it a ‘till we meet again party’ saying it has a nicer ring to it. (I really really love how far they’ve all come since S1, that they’ve all made this mix and match chaotic friend group and that they’re all really sad that they won’t be able to hang out as a group anymore). Diavolo becomes very excited about doing “the thing”, “the thing?” asks Luke, “ah the thing…” says Barbatos. Simeon’s surprised that Barbatos can actually understand Diavolo and Barbatos says it’s because they’ve known each other for so long. Luke says being a butler is like having superpowers.

On the way home MC runs into Solomon, they ask him where he’s heading, he’s says he’s heading over to the café for a cuppa. He asks if something good happened to them, and then specifies and says he’s not using some sorcerer’s clairvoyance to see that cause their expression is telegraphs it. They tell him about the party and he says it sounds fun. He then tells them he’s been thinking about where they go from here and how to improve as a sorcerer they’ll need training, and he asks what sort of magic they’d like to specialize in, in the future. A.) Summoning magic – he says that makes sense cause it was why they wanted to become his apprentice/a sorcerer in the first place. B.) Healing magic (which MC used once in S2 without even having to be taught after observing Satan doing it just once – given their protective nature I’d think they’d be good at it) – He says that sounds like something they’d want to learn. C.) Badass attack spells (which they used against Diavolo’s kidnapper) – He says he’d be happy to teach them but asks he exactly they’re planning to fight (the way in S1 the answer would have genuinely been Lucifer is so funny to me for some reason). He says as a novice there’s a lot they need to learn about the magical arts and not just the spells but its history and origin in the three worlds. He says in order to master the stronger spells you need to understand its origin and relevant background. And that it might not be a bad idea to go back to RAD to study these things (the way my hopes soared at this, the way I got giddy imagining starting S4 already in the Devildom after MC leaves at the end of S3), then Solomon gets sad saying if they’re around the brothers he’d get to spend less time with them (BRO leave aside your jealousy and do what’s right for your student! If they need to be around 7pretty boys who just so happen to be in love with them, to study then that’s what needs to be done, I have no biases here I swear!) MC says they’ll do whatever he thinks is best (or they can say that he’s special to them and no one else will make them feel what he does). He’s surprised that they’d leave the decision up to him and says he’ll give it more thought and choose what’s best for them. He then hands them a ring. He says it’s a sorcerer’s ring and that cause they have the ring of light protecting them (aka stopping them from going super nova and destroying all three worlds) they don’t technically need another talisman but he wants to give this to them. They thank him (or they ask if it’s okay if they kiss him). He says they ‘re welcome and says that as his student and his apprentice they deserve nothing less and that they’re important to him (wonder if S4 will give insight to his first apprentice). He says there’s still so much he has to teach them and that he’s looking forward to it and that he’s happy to have them at his side.

Even from outside the manor MC can hear Levi and Mammon arguing. Mammon’s apparently got a part-time job in the human world and yesterday for payday and Levi wants his money back (and okay this is a question I’ve always had…where does Levi get his money from?????? As far as ik Mammon’s the only one with a stable part-time job but Levi always seems to have so much money? Not only is he able to spend a lot on akuzon but he always has money to spare for Mammon??? Where the fuck is he getting it from? Also does Diavolo pay Lucifer?) Mammon says he already spent it all and Levi says he wishes he would keel over and die, Mammon tells him to shut up and show his older brother some respect, Mammon tries to run away and Levi summons Lotan right as MC steps inside (Do you think Lotan ever gets tired of being summoned into small cramped spaces for no reason?) Mammon screams and asks why kinda idiot summons a sea monster inside a house, Levi screams at MC to watch out as (guessing by the noise) MC’s swept back outside the house by a tidal wave. In the bathroom, Levi’s sobbing and apologizing to MC, he says he was so pissed at Mammon he lost his cool, MC asks if they should be fighting like that as brothers, and he says they weren’t “fighting” fighting and the way I’ve said this same thing multiple times to my mother as a kid/teenager is…. Levi then says Mammon’s the worst cause he keeps buying things through crowe without asking Levi, he says that no matter how many times he changes his password Mammon keeps guessing it, MC tells him to stop using TSL passwords, he’s surprised that they figured it out as well (I mean…) He suggests they combine a word to make his new password -  something related to a special date or time and they spend more time in the bathroom bouncing words off each other until they come up with the perfect one. Levi blushes and says it feels special to have a password only the two of them know. IF you tell him it’s cause their relationship is special he asks them to keep telling him that he’s different from the others so that he’ll feel less anxious and that he wishes he could stay with them forever and that they could be a family and MC asks if he’s proposing to them and that’s when I screamed HOLY SHIT and noped outta there because HOLY SHIT!!!??? S2 the last two lessons was MC going around collecting special items from the brothers, is S3 gonna be them going around tryinta have a shotgun wedding with one of them so that they don’t have to stay in the human realm??? God MC’s so fucking proactive I could never. Remember early in S2 when MC told Mammon things would be easier if he just admitted to being in love with them!??? It’s the same with The Arcana and Last Legacy MC’s too??? Last Legacy’s MC is such a fucking little shit I actually prefer them over the LIs but the way they’re so forward scared me like YES she’s super pretty but she’s also holding a sword to your throat should you really be flirting with her rn!? And The Arcana’s MC is on a whole other level (specifically in Julian’s route) like this is the second time you’re meeting him why the FUCK are you trying to strip search him on your doorstep in broad daylight WHILE he’s wanted for a murder YOU were hired to investigate!? Or better yet this is just the third time you’re meeting him why the fuck are you pinning him to a wall and pressing your palm into his open wound on the off chance he turns out to be a masochist!?? Actually wait. MC had known Julian for possibly years and worked closely with him for sometime before shit went down and they both lost their memories of each other, but after meeting again even without memories they both realized the other was familiar to them so do you think it’s possible some deep unconscious part of MC that already knew it sparked the strong hunch in MC that Julian was a masochist??? BACK TO OM! MC can also say it’s all in levi’s head (a little too harsh for my taste but whatever) Levi says he’s lost his happy moment - crushed into teeny tiny pieces and that of course he’s the only one that feels like it’s special. He sniffles. (CAN’T WE SAY IT’S SPECIAL IN A FRIEND WAY!?)

In the kitchen Beel is trying to get Belphie to eat celery by offering to juice it and mix it with other stuff so you can’t taste it (I’ve never had celery but someone said it was like water but crunchy which doesn’t sound that bad?) MC asks what they’re up to, they’re using the juicer to make juice and are trying to decide what to add to it. Belphie says they’re making fresh fruit juice and want something a little extra and ask MC what they think should be added. “Celery,” says MC. Because they’re a shithead and I like to think this is revenge for that one time in S1…y’know what I’m talking about. Beel likes the juice, Belphie says he cans still taste the celery >:) Despite only making juice the kitchen’s an absolute mess and they’re all about to clean it before Lucifer sees when Belphie hears the ice cream truck. Belphie says he’s never bought anything from the ice cream truck before and Beel says he can go check it out and when Belphie brings up cleaning the kitchen Beel volunteers MC and himself to do it (y’know MC should really start putting their foot down) Once Belphie runs after the truck Beel says that Belphie being unable to stop himself from checking out something fun has never changed. Beel asks if they want the remaining fruit. They can ask him to feed it to them or say he can have it. After the second option he eats it before they can even get their whole answer out. He then gets sad about how after he leaves they won’t be able to do stuff like this again. He asks if there’s something they can do so that they can stay this way together. (MC can ask to take their relationship to the next level) MC says they can be made part of the family leaving whatever that means up to Beel’s interpretation (watch Beel go up to Lucifer and ask him to sign the adoption papers of a fully grown adult human being). He agrees that this could work and says while he already thinks of them as family that alone wouldn’t be enough to make it official. And says they should ask Belphie and that together the three of them will have to think of something. He says eventually they’ll think of a good way to keep them all together forever. He then tells them he’ll put the dirty towels in the laundry room and that he’ll catch up with them and Belphie later.

Outside Belphie hands them one of three ice creams and says they should head to the pool, they ask about Beel and Belphie says he’ll just follow the smell of ice cream (does ice cream have a smell? Like even a faint one? I mean it must right?) Belphie says that the twins also have a way of always knowing where the other is because they know each other the best, he says though it’s fainter he’s also sort of able to tell where the other 5 are and what they’re doing. And recently it’s become the same with MC as it is with the others. MC asks if it’s because they’re all family. He laughs and says that’s probably it. Before amending it and saying he’s sure that’s the reason. Belphie says that the brothers – Specially Mammon and after Belphie pauses to give it some thought, Asmo – would be thrilled about MC officially becoming family. MC – cheeky lil shit that they are – asks if only his brothers would be happy. He tells them of course he’d be happy and he asks them if they want a bite of his ice cream (they can ask to be fed it), they tell him no, it’s okay. He asks if they don’t like the flavour and then Beel shows up. Belphie says, “see when you’re family, you just know.” And When Beel asks what they’re talking about he smiles and says nothing.

So that’s the semi last lesson and then we’re done and each time they have to get separated again I feel so emotional but this time I feel like S3 really set up S4 with all this talk about the angels and Lucifer and Simeon’s worst fear and Simeon’s backstory and Simeon and Luke’s purpose in the human world, and possibly Solomon’s backstory too and maybe even Barbatos and just ugh I’m so excited for season 4 and the last lesson of S3 hasn’t even been released yet???

[actualsunflower]

I have a huge life update to share rn--- My top surgery consultation is scheduled for July 5th!!!! I’M SO EXCITEDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!! I’ve also been vaccinated!! :D ANNNDDD MY LEGAL NAME AND SEX HAVE BEEN CHANGEDD!!!!! :DDDD kind of a lot has happened since I’ve been actually active around here But now I guess is the much harder part, my official surgery date will be set at the consultation, but there’s a required $1,000 fee to set the official date for my surgery. The $1,000 covers a portion of the surgery as well, and the base price for the surgery is $8,500. I’ll get the exact price on July 5th, but that’s their base rate. I need to earn or raise at least $1,000 of the total cost before July 5th to secure my surgery date!! I’m going to take commissions when I can, I have 1 almost entirely complete right now and then I can take on more! I’m gonna have a more detailed explanation of everything under the cut so this isnt super super long so pls read under there if you want all the deets Pls consider commissioning me or donating so I can get top surgery!! read more for more info and me being sappy abt my emotions--

I’ve waited so long for this and I’m fricken excited, it’s the last step in transitioning for me! It really means everything for me, I feel like I’ve been waiting forever and I can’t believe it’s finally happening !?!!! I am forever in everyones debt here and everywhere because I never wouldve even been able to start hrt if it wasn’t for the help here. I’m just so. Overwhelmed with emotion and gratitude I cant even tell how many times Ive cried and just felt like... actual gender euphoria since starting t..

So abt the appointment, I’m getting surgery with Dr. Javad Sajan, and I’m getting button hole double incision. Im serious his before and after pictures make me so emotional I am so happy and emotional for those people and I cannot wait to feel that kind of happiness and relief. But a big problem about this for me, is that he is in Seattle, and I live in southern Oregon. I can’t drive, so I have to rely on someone else, or take the train from a nearby city (Eugene). My consultation is over skype (which is amazing and a huge relief), but my pre-op appointment is in person, and of course so is the actual surgery. We’re planning on taking the train from Eugene because it seems to be the most reliable way to get there and back each time. Aside from my surgery, I’ve got to cover the price of the trip there and back (twice, once there and back for pre-op, once there and back post op,) and the price of a place to stay during the pre-op appointment. Right now my goal cost wise, is just the booking and base appointment price ($8,500, that’s including the $1,000 appointment setting deposit, which is just a part of the surgery cost and the base covers everything, surgery, the stay at the hospital, nips, anesthesia, everything). The full price is due at the pre-op appointment, and that’s the final bill. My insurance doesn’t cover anything because it’s out of state and county, and because its informed consent model. (which Im choosing because Id have to battle insurance for 2 years minimum if I was getting the surgery in Oregon, but I am very set on my surgeon after considering everything and calling many offices and looking through many subreddits and talking to ppl who’ve gotten it here and there) A lot of this information is on their site as well. As soon as I have my consultation, I will be right here to update everything and set the exact price, which I’ll also be including the price of transportation and staying there. As for paying, I’ve been applying to so many jobs, and even when I get interviews I never hear back from them. People keep telling me to stop admitting I’m disabled but I just can’t do that. Lying about being disabled doesnt make me abled and they don’t get that. I’m still trying though, and I am not going to stop trying until I get a job. But until then commissions and donations are my only source of income. I’ve been struggling getting help psychologically, because I have schizophrenia, and because I was diagnosed with adhd as a child, but I think I’m actually autistic rather than having adhd, and it’s been really hard trying to get diagnosed because I keep getting pushed off or told I cant have autism because I have paranoid schizophrenia or because its “just adhd”, but the medications are just making everything worse, and Ive tried more than one already. My medications for schizophrenia have started not working right, and when my schizophrenia meds get under control, it makes my adhd (?) significantly worse. Genuinely, I really dont know what’s happening. I really dont know whats going on with me right now and it’s hard and confusing and I keep swinging back and forth and it’s making everything deteriorate so fast I cant keep up with it. It seriously effects my ability to do anything at all, even art, and its been like this for the last 6 months. I am trying though, still trying to work, still trying to get a job, still trying to get a real diagnosis and help and Im not going to stop any of that. But I think getting top surgery as soon as possible is going to help me too, because dysphoria has just gotten so much worse focusing on my chest since t has started helping me pass and look so much more masculine. It’s like all my attention went from everything DIRECTLY to my chest and its almost unbearable. Even now since my sex has been legally changed I keep having the horrible thoughts of ‘why, why I am a man Im not supposed to be this way’ and shit idk. I’m getting too serious right now I have an appointment with the dmv to get a new updated driver’s permit with my name and fixed legal sex, and when I do that I can set up a bank account (I cant yet bcs I dont have a valid id/ id at all because I actually lost the other one and have been carrying around that paper one you’re supposed to destroy that is literally from 2016) and when I do, I’m going to set up a proper gofundme for my surgery and the travel expenses, but for now all I have is my paypal and online banking savings account. I’ll get that up asap once I have my id, though (Ive already been to the bank with my notarized judge passed papers and they wont take those yeah I know it’s stupid its like the same thing) But uhhh yeah! Thank you for reading this far if you did lol and considering helping me bcs my god, it literally means everything to me. pls share hehe

[crookedmusician]

Once Again

A/N:- This is just a drabble that popped up in my head and is based on "The Amazing Spider-Man" universe, NOT based on the Marvel mcu. If you haven't watched the movies then pls read this with an open mind. The drabble is also fixed in a time that is five years after Gwen dies and is completely based on my thought and universe. Please don't read it if you're not comfortable.

Peter Parker x Fem Reader

Genre : Slight Angst, Comfort, Slice of Life

Warnings : Very Slight and descriptive mentions of wounds and death, the characters are all adults, Y/N has a defined profession for the sake of the plot

*This is also not proof read so please bare with any errors if there are any*

It's been Five years.

Five years since Gwen's funeral. Five years since New York city was almost destroyed. Five Years since an innocent boy lost his sanity to death. Five Years since Peter Parker was too late to save his love, his best friend and his emotions to grief.

It had been Five years since that faithful day that still seemed to haunt Peter from time to time.

After the......incident happened, five years ago, Peter had shut off. He didn't talk, eat or even go to work. His job was willing to let him off that time, but the mental pressure that had bundled up inside Peter's head had refused to go. As a result, even after Peter came back, he was only a shell of himself, an empty treasure from which the gold had been stolen - just like how life was stolen from the eyes of so many he failed to save on that one dreadful day.

But If anything broke Peter more than his incompetency to save the lives of those millions he failed, it was the death of Gwen. Death of the only person Peter beleived to have given him a purpose to be Spiderman and save the city and it's residents. His reason to survive every battle he fought. His best friends, girlfriend and his reason, to just live.

Peter still remembers that day, that moment as clear as day. He still remembers the catastrophe that was caused that day, the destruction, the smell of death and spilled blood that matted the air in a heavy silence. He still remembers how the life wilted out from Gwen's eyes as she fell from the tower, as he held her afterwards; he still remembers how her once warm body turned deadly pale, her cheeks stopped sport the regular blush - and they all haunted him. They Traumatized Peter through his day, haunted his nightmares and swam in front of his mind each and every moment he lived. So Peter did the only thing he thought might help, he shut off everyone out of his life, he shut off the flow of emotions in his being, & he swore to never let anyone in, he vowed to not care about anything except defending NYC against the new villains attacking everyday.

Cause Peter Parker may have been a hero, but his emotions flowed through his veins as thickly as the spider's venom in his blood. So promised, to shut out and never let anyone in. That became his coping mechanism.

Yet again, five years later that same spider-boy found himself in the exact position he had been in, five years prior - sitting on the bed of a rooftop apartment while the huge scratches on his chest were being cleaned by the slender hands of a young woman sitting in front of him. It was an awkward kind of deja vu for Peter - Both hurting and comforting to know that someone - other than May cared for him still, however the recollection couldn't help but bring those ugly thoughts back into the forefront of Peter's mind. The same thoughts that occupied his mind in the waking hours.

The scratches burned and sizzled under the alcohol, even though it was applied with softness and expertise; but Peter didn't Flinch. Yes, there was a slight wince here and there, but no reaction revealed was too strong. Years of constant battle against the seemingly never-ending villains of New York happened to make Peter a bit more cautions and tolerating of his injuries - something that seemed to work greatly in favour of Peter at the moment - so as to not make the budding doctor in front overthink her capabilities.

Was New York always so needy and loud for the Spider-Man? This was something that occupied Peter's head often.

However, when he thought back on it, perhaps it was better for him to put his life on the line than have someone innocent or desiderate to live to fight the devils.

I mean, he did fit all the requirements for this job didn't he?

He was young, had the abilities, tolerant of the aftermaths of the fights he carried carved in his skin, bones and blood. Moreover he didn't have anyone to rely on or care for - May would be able to live with him, his job wasn't so special to him if he didn't require the money either. On the contrary Peter thought it to be a blessing to die - to forget all the turmoils, catastrophes of the world; to forget how many villains needed to be fought or how many people needed to be saved - to just forget.

Peter always thought, that maybe he wasn't made for love. That maybe he didn't deserve it. He thought about how everyone he loved left him, deserted him and thinking back on them, he just wondered how much love favoured him in this life. Maybe love didn't favour him at all, maybe love hated him, maybe that's why death always won in each of his chapters. Maybe that's why, Peter had become a void - because love refused to favour the life of this boy. He never really understood why lover never looked upon him with a smile. But guess there was never really an explanation for some grudges.

But if love never favoured him, Then what was this sudden weird electric sparks coursing through his body? This weird fluttering that seemed to keep him up at nights thinking about this one person that flew in his life and and broke past all his resolves to nestle herself comfortably inside the confines of the walls surrounding his heart?

And Peter really never could understand what was happening in his body. At first he thought that perhaps it was his spidey senses. But after a while, when he actually came to a conclusion, he was dumbfounded. Being deprived of love and refusing the comfort of any other hands rather than his own for such a long time - the revelation - was actually quite unexpected by him.

But to say that Peter didn't see all of the unfolding and development of feelings, would be a mistake. Mayhaps, Peter did knew what was happening, did knew that he was falling in a bottomless hole; but the feeling of letting go, the feeling that encompassed the journey was so blissfull it was hard to deny himself the pleasure after denying it for such a long while.

So we recount to a faithful afternoon, two years prior, to an empty & silent alley in one of the bustling streets of NYC.

XXX ♤♡◇♧ XXX

It was just another day in the life of Peter Parker - waking up, packing his suit, taking an early leave or going on a feild trip for his job only to fight the villains and end up all bloody. The only difference was the gushing wound on one of Peter's upper legs that seemed way worse than his regular wounds.

Peter seeked sanctum in one of the empty alleys of the New York Streets to treat the wound only to find himself looking sideways at a young bespectacled woman with curious eyes, hair in a messy bun, clutching one strap of a heavy-looking backpack with some folders and pages in the other - she was staring at him with worry in her orbs.

Usually it wouldn't have been a problem, he'd hit up some pick up lines and flee as far as possible with his wounded leg and never meet the girl again - it was simple and easy without any damage to either his social or personal life. And it would've been easy and simple - Only if Peter had been wearing his mask. But he sadly wasn't, and now he gazed back like a deer caught in the headlights as the figure approached him slowly and cautiously and stopped a few feet away.

"Can you walk?" The words were almost whispered with caution.

"Excuse me?" Peter said in a breathless voice; swinging through the city with an almost torn-off leg does hurt more than Peter imagined, after all.

"Can You walk? With that leg of yours?"

"Yes, I suppose. But why?" Peter asked with confusion and weariness.

"Then please come to the top floor. I can treat your wound."

The clutch of the strap got a bit tighter as the words tumbled out of her lips in the hushed silence of the alley. To say Peter was surprised would be an understatement; it had been a while since someone willingly wanted to help him. But then again, Peyer wasn't weak, was he? He surely could handle that little much laceration wound on his own, right? So just like Peter have always done, to all his colleagues, his neighbours, supposed friends, associates and May, he declined.

"Thank you for the offer but I can Handle this on my own," Peter uttered in the same dazed voice, opting to turn his head down as if signalling the end of the conversation.

"I'm sure you can," the voice chirped again to fill the whispery silence, "to the best of your abilities, but It would be better if I had a look at it. I'm a medical student so I'll be able to ptch it up reall quick too. Besides to treat you'd have to either swing or walk back to your home, and you really can't do either with that deep of a cut anyways. So let me have a look at it, please."

"I said I you do-"

"No you can't, you may clean it or patch it up until you can do it up but the slash is huge, don't you see? If you don't treat it immediately, your whole leg would either get infected or you'll bleed to raw. And I don't think you'l be able to swing your way around the city with a half infected leg anyways. So Please for your leg's sake enter the third window from the right on the top floor of this building so I can nurse the damage. I'll try to get there ASAP," and with that the girl hurried inside a door on the side of the monument on right.

Peter however, was still failing to recover from his daze, and by the time her words actually registered in his head the wound had started to sizzle with wind. He gathered his own stuffed backpack and as slowly and painlessly he can, followed the instructions.

Peter swung to top of the building & crept insided the bedroom of a rooftop apartment that looked very comfy despite being a complete definition catastrophe to found himself in a pair of freshly washed shirt and jogging shorts half an hour later - the girl said they belonged to her father and brother previously.

Peter stared at the unknown woman as she wrapped up the incision in a white cloth. Her fingers were skilled & worked in a quick yet sure manner.

"You can handle pain very well you know?" The woman broke the awkward silence with a glance at Peter's face only find him staring back at her with a monotone face, "the area around the gash had already started getting infected, if I found you a bit later your leg might've fallen off. Still you're very lucky. Thankfuy no valuable nerve was heavily dama-"

"Why are you helping me?" The rambling was interupted by the strict and straight voice of the spidey

"Excuse me?"

"Why are you helping me?"

"Because I can? Am I not allowed to help you? You looked like you needed some serious help though," The woman asked tilting her head slightly.

"Is it a plot?" Years of practice had certainly helped Peter maintain a Poker face, which came in handy as he stared at the confused eyes of the woman in front of him - his heart deeming the expression to be cute.

"A plot?" The woman repeated as she looked at him in disbelief, "You think l'm helping you because l'm involved in a...a...a stupid gang or something that wants to murder you?"

"Or it could be an individual plan," Peter shrugged nonchalantly as he dared not remove his eyes from his supposed - captor.

"An individual pl-?"

"Why else would you help me? If not for your own benefit?"

At this The woman seemed to become a little pissed at Peter's words as she sputtered with her next sentences before finally giving a coherent reply, "Maybe fighting with evel people all your life makes you heroes feel as if good people don't exist but trust me, they do. And quite contrary to your assumptions I just so happen to be one of them."

The woman tied the cloth around Peter's leg in a tight knot & rose from her seat collecting the equipments back in her first aid box, opting to leave the room, offended - instead finding herself halting mid-step at peter's voice calling out to her.

"I'm Peter," Peter gazed at her retreating figure and as she turned around to look at him with judging eyes, "Peter Parker."

The words were uttered into the sunset in a softer tone - as if the speaker was almost shy, which - looking back at the circumstances - Peter probably was. And as the dying rays of the sun filtered through the drawn back curtain of the only window in the room - the one Peter had entered through - encasing the room in all it's ethereal glow, Peter was able to finally get a glimpse of his healer, clearly.

The rays fell on the bed and on womanly figure, bathing her in the delicate glow of dusk, highlighting her dainty features. She was handsome, very much so in the afyernoon light; and despite being pissed and offended a few mintues prior, she took her time in tilting the corners of her lips into a soft amd pleasant smile as the injured man stared at her in awe - that was perfectly hidden beneath his Poker Face.

"I'm Y/N L/N." The names etched itself in Peter's brain ringing sweet bells everytime, serenading him into calmness.

And so since that fateful day, it became a regular event. Whenevr Peter would get hurt - no matter how small or big the wound, he'd always find himself on the doorstep (or window sill), of the tenth floor building on the same street he never remembered the name of. And slowly as the days swept by, the visits weren't just limited to treating wounds. Infact, contary to either of their professions, Peter found both of them had quite a lot in common, and their opinions generally matched - and for the ones that didn't, both of their adjustable manners suited the situations. And as the days brew into nights, Peter found a companion in Y/N - one that Peter hoped lasted for life.

Peter found a best friend to look after him and talk with on rainy days and summer evenings.

××× ♤♡◇♧ ×××

Now, two years later as Peter sat on the same bed he had so many times before, he thought back on all the bitter and sweet memories Life gifted him, and perhaps they were needed for Peter to bring him to this point in life - and Peter never wanted to go back.

It was late. The sun had gone down a few hours prior and the moon glowed brightly in the sky, peeking in through the windows as Peter observed the familliar figure beside him - nursing another one of Peter's daily unwanted gifts.

She looked dainty, almost unreal as the moonlight illuminated the room casting it in the soft glow of night time. As Peter gazed at her, he started carving out all the plains and roughs of her faces, the shape of her eyes, lips and nose, the way her lithe fingers glided across Peter's skin - and Peter couldn't find it in himself to intrupt the dance her fingers were engaged in on his chest. A light breeze swept in through the wind making rounds of the room and messing with the strands hanging around Y/N's face as Peter gazed at the seemingly engaging spiral of movements infront of him.

"Staring is rude, you know?"

The peaceful silence occupying the room was suddenly broken, giving Peter a small start, as Y/N lifted her head barely so as to glance up at Peter's face, her lips curving into a small smirk at the look of slight surprise on his face, before her skilled hands resumed their work.

After a breif moment of comprehension - and more staring as Y/N wrapped up the gashes and stood up to starighten the sheets on the bed as much she could with the tall figure lying on top, Peter finally found his voice strong enough to utter the two words - that he hoped would convey all that was unsaid and all that he wanted to say but couldn't.

"Thank You."

Y/N looked up once again at Peter with a teasing yet soft grin and breathy chuckle, "Pete, don't be so modest about yourself. Patching up your wounds provide me an excuse to practise my skills on a regular basis. And as a junior doc, It's more benifitting to me that it is to you."

Peter let out a breathy chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck as Y/N turned around to put the first aid box at the top of one of her bedroom shelves, "Still thank you, for everything you've done for me. I really appreciate it."

And this time as Y/N turned around to look at her best friend, she paused for a second, taking in the scene before her. The moon casted the same glow on Peter's form as it had on her back - except this time, the star gazed one was Y/N.

She had always wondered how she never once felt awkward with the close proximity, she always seemed to share with Peter. Her heart once whispered because they were menat to be; but the rational part of her brain was quick to shut down the irrational daydream before it could flourish. However the warmth of her cheeks when Peter looked at her, the tiny fluttering in her stomach whenever he'd smile, the warmth in her being when they hugged couldn't be stopped from spreading all through her body.

There were nights, when she wondered how it would be if she was brave enough to turn the page to the next chapter and just ask her best friend out. But then again, even though happiness was granted if the proposal was accepted - the pain, heartbreak and loss of warmth in their friendship, at the refusal was granted in a much greater probability. And thus Y/N drifted off to sleep every night thinking of all the 'ifs' of the world.

But this wasn't the world of dreams, it was the waking world, and as Y/N realised the soft glow in Peter's eyes when he looked at her, she wondered - no, hoped that her feeling might probably be reciprocated.

"It's honestly no biggie Pete. It really isn't," She neared the bed as she said the words, finally sitting upon it with one leg folded on the matress and the othe rdangling down the side, her eyes searched Peter's face carefully noticing the genuine-ness behind Peter's words, "however what is a problem is that you've hadn't had a single mouthful since the meager breakfast this morning. Honestly dude, don't you ever get hungry? If I wa sin your place I'd be starving! Heck, I'm starving even now!"

Peter let out a small breathy laugh at Y/N's dramatics. She always tended to be the more dramatic one, especially regarding matters of food. So sporting a soft smile he looked up Y/N.

"No I'm fine, I'd just have something to eat when i get home."

"Home? Do you even know how late it is?! It's," she hekd up the digital clock on the side of her bed, "9.15 already! You literally live on the other side of the city! By the time you reach your home it would be way past 10! I ain't letting you starve till then boy!"

By now, Y/n had stood up on her feet in front of the bed with her hands on her hips - and Peter found it to be way too cute for her, "Call up Aunt May and tell her that you'll be eating here today. I'll go and start whipping something up in the kitchen, ok?"

"Ok."

"Good," Y/N turned around & exited the room heading down the halls to the kitchen, to scour how much she can that would fill both her and Peter up, while Peter rested on her bed.

Ever since that incident five years ago, Peter had always wondered that maybe love wasn't really meant for him, that maybe love didn't favour him. But now, as he stared at the moonlit retreating figure of Y/N L/N, he prayed to all the love gods in existence, to favour him just this once as he drafted up the same confession, he had been drafting for the past years, to finally come out of his heart and in to minds of the beauty he called his bestfriend.

A/N : Pls tell me how you like it in the comments this is my first story and I would really appreciate the feedback!

Please don't repost or rwupload my work anywhere apart from here.