#PLS TELL ME SHE LIKE BECOMES FRIENDS WITH NICOLE AGAIN

[pzyii]

SOMEONE MURDER ME END OF SEASON 4 NOBODY WHOS WATCHING FINISH VERONICA MARS THE ENDING WASNT RESL YALL PLS

(me ranting in in detail under cut so spoiler warning)

LIKE OK, I EXPECT, OR AT LEAST KNEW IT WAS A RISK FOR LOGAN TO DIE EVER SINCE HE WAS CALLED TO SERVICE AGAIN, I THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA DO WHAT THEY DID, MAKE US WORRY SOMETHING BAD IS GONNA HAPPEN WHILE HES AWAY, MAKE HIM COME BACK HAPPY AND WELL TO GIVE US A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY AND THEN BAM!(LITERALLY) KILL HIM SO THAT NONE OF US CAN EVER FEEL HAPPINESS AGAIN. BUT STILL THEY DIDNT HAVE TO DO IT. LIKE VERONICA WAS FINALLY GONNA HAVE A STABLE LIFE AND GO TO THERAPY WITH HIM, THE THING IVE BEEN SCREAMING SINCE SEASON ONE, INSTEAD THEY JUST MADE EVERYTHING WORSE. I MEAN SHES STILL GOING TO THERAPY, BUT WHAT PUSHED HER IS HER HUSBAND BEING BLOWN UP IN FRONT OF HER WTF.

AND WORST OF ALL VERONICA STILL HASNT BEEN ALLOWED TO FUCKING KILL SOMEONE/HJ

[mcd-ms-rants]

sorry this was delayed!! something happened irl

i actually had to rewatch certain scenes of s3 bcuz my brain blocked them due to trauma

anyways enjoy

STUFF I DIDNT LIKE ABOUT MYSTREET SEASON 3:

• ok first why does half the cast mentally regress into children?? This is extremely evident with Aphmau and Zane. Aphmau turns into a LITERAL CHILD and Zane becomes some angsty emo bratty teen. the only people who are not children are laurance lucinda katelyn and to some extent garroth

• oh wow zianna carrying the whole season on her back offering THE ENTIRE DAMN STREET. wow the Ro’meaves really care about their friends. If the Ro’meaves have so much money why do they even send their kids to pdh why can’t they go to O’Khasis prep they’re literally drowning in cash I was just ranting about this on another blog :)

• i get it this is a slice of life kinda season and it’s mainly centered around comedy but can we still see a bit of character building here like people like Dante and kc and Zane and like three fourth of the cast are severely lacking

• where do Dante and Travis even work?? I know that huge two story house isn’t cheap how do they make all that cash. Can we know what their jobs are since they don’t work at the maid cafe

• I REALLY don’t like that Zane is pretty much only shown with ponies here throughout this season. I’ve said this so many times now. HE HAS MORE CHARACTER THAN THAT. You CANNOT seriously tell me that the defining point of his character is ponies and mlh

• in the series before s3 (I think it was called the bigger move??) we get to see zianna talk about the Ro’meave family business and how Zane has always been more inclined towards it. It would’ve been nice to see it expanded on a bit more in this season considering it’s a huge company and garroth is (probably) set to inherit it and probably needs to like attend meetings or something as practice. and cue the brother angst

• is it really ok for Lucinda to constantly teleport inside people’s houses isn’t that kinda trespassing (I’ll make a post on the magic system here later!!)

• The sk’s are the ONLY people who have their shit together they have like the only decent character development arc. Gene shouldn’t have had a crush on Aphmau after all this time tho. That kinda ruins it

• WHY IS GARRANCE QUEERBAIT

• no seriously why

• WHERE IS VYLAD where did he go

• so many characters like Nicole, kenmur and Emmalyn are never seen again this is sad

• I don’t like how Aaron and Aphmau pretty much stop developing as individual characters and start developing as aarmau from this season. am I the only one who feels this way??

• not that important but

• some of the proportions for the items were WAY off. those cheeseburgers are literally the size of Aphmau‘s head and some objects are bigger (idk if this was intentional)

• why will Zane literally obey Aphmau like she’s god (which she technically is but he doesn’t know that yet) I get it their friends but let him have a bit of a backbone

• ok NO HATE TO THE VA but what is Ivan’s voice. once again no hate. but seriously

• why is every side character so generic looking?? the main cast have so many mods and add ons but they need it more DESPERATELY

• I mean just LOOK at the two dudes next to Ivan

• would it really have taken that long to at least make them not so generic

• also why do those two dudes next to Ivan like never speak why’s he got two mute dudes following him like he’s the boss

• show the sk’s more you cowards

• SHOW THEM

• yay Gene :) Gene hugging Dante is one of the best moments in this season HANDS DOWN

• once again kc’s character gets tossed aside. we don’t really learn anything new about her this season aside from the fact that she cannot be serious but we already knew that. it’s been three seasons and we pretty much know the same things we did in s1

• also can we know a bit more about some of these characters in general? Like Dante, Travis, kc and Zane. hobbies and interests?? Things unique to them?? some of these characters still don’t have many unique traits and they need them

• aarmau breakup was literally because ivan splashed a cat potion in the maid cafe and Aphmau (somehow) asks Aaron if he did it. and bcuz Aaron saw a pic of Zane hugging Aph beforehand (which even friends can do) he got mad at the whole thing and just left. I’m sorry what was going on here. Did this really warrant going back to your parents house?? Reason seems stupid to me. also I don’t like how LITERALLY EVERYONE ELSE helps aph with her breakup since she’s in denial but what does she do?? Like nothing. girl pls. After the moms get involved it gets pretty straightforward. I mean they basically fetch him from his parents and bring him back. also wow Aaron’s parents SUCK. Cmon even ZANE got some development there you mean to tell me that the protag didn’t even DO ANYTHING. The person who was supposed to get the most development out of this breakup didn’t get any at all. then what was the point of a breakup if Aphmau didn’t learn anything from it??

ya so this is it that’s all that’s coming to me rn

once again sorry it’s kinda late stuffs been going on irl and I’m trying to deal with it

thanks for reading!! <3 <3

[vividaway]

hey i hope you learn to not take things so personally on behalf of gabbie hanna bc it's gone past parasocial relationships and i think you have developed a one sided codependency and it literally very obviously negatively affects your daily mental health :/ like ppl don't just say stuff to be mean - you're unhinged. legitimately.

(pt 2) also ur post abt jen is really funny bc you're like "of course she's jessis best friend" but i literally don't think she is currently and i think you're just saying that bc you can't see past being personally upset. just a thought. pls be aware that when experiencing heightened emotions doesn't mean ur reality is heightened too. :/ (pt 3) also in general id advise seeking professional mental health help bc being agoraphobic & exclusively living online is clearly giving you terminally online brain rot. do you wanna be 27 in your moms home still yelling abt online haters? are you not an adult? do you not want to live like an adult? seems ur content staying mentally 14 forever.

-----

i find these kind of asks to be the MOST amusing, because not only do these people think they know my life, they actively go out of their way to try to get in contact with me. they side with people who believe doxxing people is alright "as long as its for the greater good" and they think harassment of any sort will fix their problems (spoiler alert: it wont.) lets get one thing straight here: i dont "take thing personally on behalf of gabbie hanna", i side with what I BELIEVE to be morally correct. its not morally correct to tell someone that theyre useless, that one no wants them or cares about them, and that they should disappear to someone who has actively stated time and time again to have suicidal ideations. this is KNOWINGLY triggering and harming someone who's mentally ill, and you're just straight up a horrible shitty human being if you do that. you CAN hold someone accountable AND have empathy to what theyre going through. they dont negate each other, and the second people learn THAT is the second i will stop riding so hard for what is MORALLY correct, not for Gabbie Hanna.

(Side note: you never hear these people talk about my interest for Lele Pons, Britney Spears, Taylor Nicole Dean, Rayleigh Link, BozeDoesTrueCrime, or Colleen Ballinger and i dont even need to pose the hypothetical question of "why do you think that is?", cause i'll tell you: they dont know who i ACTUALLY am, they only know who i am twitter.)

lets talk about parasocial relationships, because those are actually one of my favorite things to talk about! I know everything about Gabbie, or at least, everything she's told the internet. every time i (or anyone) interacts with gabbie, it is with the knowledge of who she is, and the things she has done. this puts us at a disadvantage. as fans, we then have two options.

not realize you're apart of a parasocial relationship.

realize you're apart of a parasocial relationship

it seems like a "thank u captain obvious" but it honest to god isnt. we as fans know gabbie, but gabbie knows NOTHING about us. she does NOT know we exist. if you choose path 1, you're set for a very VERY toxic situation where you slowly become entitled to somebodies time and efforts when you are NOT entitled to shitall. lets talk about path 2, though!

i know facts about gabbie. i stop and realize-- i am inconsequential to gabbie's daily life even if she DOES see me...

and that is the JOY of being a fan. of knowing you're a community of thousands, and not the one on a pedestal. we arent here because we want to KNOW gabbie personally, we're here because we agree with her. we relate to the things she's experienced, and by golly, we were harassed by the SAME EXACT PEOPLE!! we have a LOT in common-- and...and thats KIIIINDAAA the definition of being in a fandom. "A fandom is a subculture composed of fans characterized by a feeling of empathy and camaraderie with others who share a common interest."

on a side note, lets talk about my daily life, since you so inquired <3

my exposure therapy has been a really good (but frightening) experience! aside from normal visits, i hung out with a group of friends, and i went to a small live show. my plans for next week have similar plans, and i've been dealing with my agoraphobia pretty well since march.

i dont know what they mean by "negative codependency" seeing as i use my twitter the same way i use my tumblr...so hey!! WHY DIDNT YOU GUYS TELL ME SOONER THAT I HAD A NEGATIVE CODEPENDENCY TO THOMAS SANDERS?!!?!?! SO RUDE!! /J on an actual note: really? codependent to gabbie hanna? youtube, my phone, maybe, but gabbie? thats genuinely why i call these messages amusing because it honestly reminds me of THIS meme

its just a ~vibe~ yanno.

"pls be aware that when experiencing heightened emotions doesn't mean ur reality is heightened too" this is actually something i'd advise to every person who watched gabbie hanna, because they have this warped perception that gabbie is constantly planning this drama everytime she releases an album or song as IF she would want that tied to the album....that doesnt bring in listeners it only creates talk cmon now use ur brainy brains just bc ur emotions are heightened doesnt mean ur reality is

but yeah, thats my update with tumblr! how have you guys been /gen? its been awhile since i've done one of these (four or five years? wowee) and i KNOW tumblr's new "below the cut" update is gonna kill the vibe of this but its whatevs 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ alyssa will talk on.

[melancholy-queen]

REIGN SPOILERS AHEAD

i’m putting all of my thoughts about the series reign on this, i probably forgot a lot of shit, but thats okay. also I’m sorry if this is very long, i have lots of opinions. scroll past!

so im on season 3 episode 7 and here are my thoughts as of this moment:

- francis is everything but also he was so controlling of mary jfc

- nostradamus is really hot

- im sad for mary that francis is dead

- frary is endgame

- but i was totally down for bash and mary to get married

- conde was so hot. i miss him already

- i was not down for the whole cheating plot line with mary

- antoine needs to chill and stop being so vengeful

- kenna is a piece of shit, i mean stop self sabotaging yourself please for the love of god

- so apparently, kenna was masterbating on the staircase in the pilot? i thought she ran out of breath from walking up all those goddamn stairs (chill, this is a joke, but i still think it's funny that she couldn't wait to get to her room)

- henry was fucking gross from the minute he walked on screen

- did everyone forget about aylee?

- poor lola, she couldve been so much more

- on the topic of lola, where tf did john philippe go? like he hasn't been in the past few episodes

- bash is so great

- bash does no wrong, i love him

- i liked diane and i miss her

- leith is honestly the most tragic character in this whole show, i love him

- megan follows does such an amazing job, like she is such a good actress

- why tf couldn't greer marry leith? i guess im just not understanding

- they totally brushed off the whole incest thing between claude and bash, gross

- but also good for greer, she's a great madam

- i don't give any shits about lord narcissi

- i loveeee claude and leith, get married pls

- i really wanted mary and francis to have a child and i almost cried at the miscarriage

- charles is a dick, but also fuck me

- catherine de medici is the best thing to have graced this show, i mean fuck me up bitch ahhh

- poor mary! its so sad that she was raped. to me, the show handled the repercussions fairly well

- i liked the whole catherine going crazy plot line, i thought the writers did a good job with her emotions towards her children

- the end did not pay off though, like how did she get better?

- also, the crazy henry plot line was ass, but i liked it almost?

- i thought the francis killing henry was done very well, subtle, but not out of the blue. plus, you could go back and look at the clues in previous episodes to aid to the murder

and now these are my thoughts past season 3, episode 7 all the way to the end:

- yes i want some bdsm in this bitch fuck it up queen

- catherine and mary are so kinky hahahaahahha

- mary's pussy literally killed don carlos (jk)

- this is the best plot line on this show so far lmao

- i like it better when mary and catherine get along

- god i love princess claude

- i hate narcisse

- fuck narcisse

- even though claude's fucking stupid for writing that her mother poisoned her in her diary and not hiding the diary well, i still love her

- narcisse's secretary is hot in a lowkey kind of way

- also, his death scene was very unrealistic

- thank god lola is leaving, fuck narcisse

- i don't like elizabeth, but i guess im not supposed to

- why does claude have to fuck up leith like that? he's already traumatized by greer

- greer is honestly the secret mvp, what a good woman

- i am more invested in claude and leith's story then anything else in this entire show

- i feel so bad for dudley's wife, she didn't ask for this

- catherine is a sex queen and i stan her

- stubble leith is so hot

- adelaide kane is so fucking pretty goddamn

- honestly, fuck the prince of spain

- charles looks like mary and francis' child grown up tbh

- i have no investment in any of the england storyline

- why do none of the ladies in waiting get a normal marriage and life jeez louise

- CLAUDE DESERVES BETTER

- LEITH DESERVES BETTER

- FUCK THE DUKE WHO MARRIED CLAUDE

- CLAUDE IS A QUEEN WTF I LOVE HER SO MUCH I WANT TO MARRY HER OML

- narcisse can suck my dick

- im all for in charge charles

- i don't like gideon

- i have no investment in the elizabeth/dudley shep, but i still find it really sad

- god i hope that gideon doesn't stab mary in the back

- christophe is really creepy

- my inStiNctS weRe cOrRecT jEsuS ChrISt, christophe is insane

- gideon is also insane

- bash is perfect

- bash needs better sleuthing skills

- i fully support the lola and elizabeth friendship

- mary and gideon have no chemistry haha

- DEAR GOD I LOVE LEITH AND CLAUDE

- greer is so strong, i love her

- I’m so for greer and leith’s friendship

- jc not the bash love storyline again

- i totally forgot mary killed narcisse’s son

- wait at what point did mary meet her ladies??

- literally the only part in this show so far to make cry is when mary went back to defend catherine tbh

- idk why i feel sympathy for catherine

- if bash dies i will stop watching

- thank god

- elizabeth is honestly a better friend to lola than mary was

- charles is so dumb

- god why can’t he learn anything, obviously his friend was a traitor

- charles’ traitor friend is bobo nick jonas

- dark mary is my everything

- claude is her mother’s carbon copy

- the valois children have other siblings? where are they and why haven’t we heard of them?????

- munro is so hot

- bash is actually fucking insane

- why is charles so trustworthy?

- when did james become hot?

- mary is so great when she’s not needy and crying for a romance

- how does everyone just kill people so easily??? i can’t even get my blood drawn without wanting to throw up

- lola is HEARTLESS

- IM SO DOWN FOR A CLAUDE/LEITH WEDDING

- also troye sivan? i love it

- charles totally sucks

- wait what happened with the pagans in the blood woods?

- i cannot stand gideon and mary together

- i’m so sad for lola, she was such a good character

- dear god, this was the only death that i’m actually sad for (and this includes francis)

- i want more for john philippe

- NO I TAKE THAT BACK POOR LEITH

- knox is such a creep

- marys brother needs to stop

- i’m so down with seer bash you guys don’t even understand

- mary is wild omg i love this turn around

- when did james get so hot

- lola and francis’ child is so fucking cute omg

- charles’ mental breakdown is crazy

- ewwww gideon and mary are gross af

- I’m all for darnley

- poor claude honestly, but she is a saint

- if he hurts her, ill beat him up

- damn charles is a vampire

- leith deserved so much better

- i love him

- dude i don’t even give a shit about the other relationships in this show, leith and claude are the greatest

- poor leith, I’m so sad

- agatha’s death is so fucking depressing

- i love mary when she actually has a backbone

- yes motherfucker, murder darnley

- i have no sympathy for darnley’s true love dying, he’s so rude and deceiving

- i love the friendship between catherine and mary ahh

- i don’t know how i feel about greer and james

- where did lady kenna go?

- i like the juxtaposition between mary and francis’ wedding and mary and darnley’s wedding with the flowers and attendees and just overall feeling and how adelaide kane acted in it. you could tell that she truly loved francis but doesn’t love darnley and feels scared with him

- also the fact that mary doesn’t match with darnley’s outfits is an interesting choice

- the timeline on this show is very strange

- claude’s character development is beautiful

- the horny witch is my fav

- umm what she’s pregnant?

- nicole can suck my fucking ass fuck her stupid ass

- i wish the end wasn’t so abrupt tbh

- the last five minutes was so good, i teared up

- ugh now i feel empty inside and want to watch it again!!

ugh this show is so good, like insanely good. i feel like most of the time the characterization was wonderful. claude was my favorite, so its no surprise i like claude and leith the best. i didn’t like francis most of the time while he was alive but i missed his presence on the show. bash was an absolute gem. adelaide kane is so hot oml i died multiple times. i really enjoyed watching it!!!

rate: 9/10 archduchesses falling out of a window during sex (still my favorite part of the show)

favorite character: claude! queen catherine!! runner ups: bash, greer, leith, sometimes mary, elizabeth at the endish

favorite season: season 1!! can’t beat the drama!

[jobananayear2journal]

Mission 5G

yay we’re at the final mission for SEM 1!

REFLECT

I think the past 7 missions has had its ups and downs. The one thing that I realised was that I was giving in too much, because I was scared of offending my friends. I thought I was past this, but reading back the reflections, I realised that I grouped too comfortably that I gave in many times. I was never able to fully express my annoyance, sadness sometimes even happiness. that goosebump feeling that I once had producing new songs, went to others while I listened to others. I think it’s getting boring for you guys to read the same process for my group every week, piano then vocals, then wtv... I really do want to move out from this hole that’s super super deep. So, just bear with me one last time.

DO

I put this under do because I couldn’t remember what the plan was...BUT what I remembered was, as usual Angel always starts composing songs before the lecture ends, by the time I scooted over, she was already telling me about her new song! It was inspired my Nicole, and that it was because Nicole said something about a friend moving away. 

My initial thought was, “hey that sounds cool, it’s a different concept!”

But after reading the lyrics, it sadly sounded like another chinese cheesy love song. I told Angel what it sounded like, and she more or less shrugged because she said it wouldn’t matter. I also suggested that maybe we could do a mix of english and chinese, since it just didn’t have to be gibberish. But hey hey guess what?? It didn’t work out too. My vision was for it to sound like “ 有没有- william wei ”. very chill vibes, but still impactful, with the verses having one or two english lines before rhyming with a few other chinese lines. It was a pretty song

But what we got was just 3 words that were placed in because I wanted english lyrics :( 

PLAN

It’s okay, moving on. I planned it such that we would record it this week. (week 18) because I wanted to spend week 17 thinking through the song. which really turned out to be angel writing the song and thinking about the arrangement that she wanted to have. 

DO

Recording the parts were okay, I recorded everything in studio B in protools, YAY! the recording was a full 8 hours. we packed up around 10. I think one good thing that came out of the recording was we accidentally recorded this hook with the e guitar. Actually I’m not really sure if it’s a hook Leon pls dun kill me ahah. It was basically the guitar sliding up and down before coming in again with chords. now why I think this sounds good is because it was placed rather awkwardly when loke was playing. It was like, he felt the moement, and that came out. At first it was pretty unsettling and Angel and I wanted a second take, but the rest just didn’t feel right. and I went back to listen again and realised, it’s something that works, and it kinda is catchy. It’s like that one part of that song that you will remember. So yay.

the sad thing was, all the instruments were so basic. AND I know this is going to be in the comments, but yes the harmony was just to fulfil the criteria of 3 vox track. I was so reluctant to do it because it didn’t sound like there was harmony needed... I did say this to my group but AHHHHHHHH.... 

REFLECT

As much as I didn’t want to sound like I was ranting, it kinda came off as it were. all 7 weeks. This is definitely something I need to work on... I get that journals are for me to find learning points, eureka moments, self revelation and self improvement, I’m trying to. all in the process of also trying to not give a grandmother story cause erica haha... I think it’s still a work in progress. Definitely did find out something about myself, but whether it’s sufficient enough for me to become a better musician will be revealed next sem XD

[survivormarmoreal]

Episode #14: "i literally hate attention (i say as i broke out into song unprompted)” - Bryce

I can't believe that I am here. I made it to the Final 4. It is very crazy. I thought that I was toast in the Final 6. So to be here now is very exciting and shocking. The final 3 is going to depend on who wins immunity. I am really hoping that I could win this immunity to secure my spot in the final 3. If not then I hope that Matt doesn't win it. He needs to be an option just in case. I'm very nervous. I just finished my rites of passage. and its crazy that its almost final tribal.

so im getting 4th. FJKASDHFKJh this comp is so hard and like im literally not gonna be able to do endurance so i need to do well on the other stuff but i just dont see that happening... like this puzzle first try was 70 minutes FJKASDHFKAJS. AND I KNOW COUNTING WILL MESS ME UP BC IM NERVOUS WRECK i didnt even mean to caps that but its tea. like flash game i think when i played this once before i wasnt bad but maybe i was who knows. im so emo like no one is talking to me anymore FKJASHDFKJ like i guess bc its just 1 vote left they dont wanna pretend they wont cut me FJAKSDFH like my game not even that good im gonna get dragged by sharky/nathan/keaton/nicole/ everyone but brian... maybe even brian who knows NNNN. my nnn. is so iconic.. maynor who?. idk like ok so if i win immunity (which i wont) idek what to do like i feel like voting matt is the best option maybe. bc i WONT be voting maynor bc i love him (not that i dont love anna and matt) but i just feel like we've had the best relationship of the f4 and im confident that the jury will like my game more than his (maybe they wont tho... i say confident but i mean 2% (not skim) sure they will) but ok so annabelle prob is hated by jury at least from brian and maybe even sharky? but like she didnt play bad she literally made most iconic move at f6 and i respect that but idk if jurors do like ppl keep saying shes a goat  so maybe she has no chance. and then theres matt where like ppl cant be mad he voted them when everyone and their mom in this game has voted him ASDKJFHASDKJ. like so hes prob liked by jury but i just dont know if hes done anything to deserve to win. he found 2 idols successfully played 1 but that was more on anna/nicks weird sense of leaking when it didnt really benefit them.  but like ok he was least threatening member of trio who got to the end so underdog edit is there even tho he literally wasnt underdog tbh u know who was an underdog... ME. i had NO ONE but nathan for a lil.. then dennis... then he got ROBBED. so then i had brian... but he got ROBBED. and now i have maynor like ive literally flipped and flopped to better my game and idk like i am physically able to meaningfully say ive done anything good ever in life or orgs but like i didnt do too bad i think! KJFAHSDKJF... idk maybe im getting 0 votes 3rd place no matter what and if thats the case im still so happy bc ive had a lot of fun in this game and met some true friends (and keaton) but like im getting 4th anyway so doesnt matter! ugh that sounds like a final goodbye confession but i know me and im gonna confess like 10 more times before this round is over so if i do get 4th/3rd just know that this was my true end...

So like.... I do not think i'm winning immunity. like at all. which makes me pretty nervous ngl. I really want to be there at the finale cause i think I have a good shot. If Bryce loses, i'm fairly sure i'm good to get to FTC but otherwise im scared. Making FTC would be really good for me cause I think i can out argue Maynor and Annabelle fairly well, but otherwise with bryce there idk. So like, BRYCE CAN'T WIN IMMUNITY. Also this FIC is disgusting like no thanks. I've already fucked up the 2 live ones so uh ya am annoyed :(. woo final juror here i come!

Bryce won immunity. Im glad. I wouldnt want to be in the position to vote Bryce. I had to abstained from the counting part cuz it triggered my anxiety. I tried tho but i couldnt. This vote is going to be said. Matt is going to go 4th. And i feel really bad. We got to know each other more during every tribal. This really sucks. I just dont want to give him false hope where there isnt any. Im going to help tomorrow.

I am so getting final juror. fuck. i knew it would happen if bryce won immunity and it fucking is. I am so sad about this. I have worked so hard all game to get here and its just being tossed away like that. I am SO sad. I have fucked up my sleep schedule for this game and now its getting me final juror. ugh. i just wanted to get to the end and like argue my case. but now? not happening :( i hate this

I WON I REALLY WON IMMUNITY ASKDJFHASKDJF I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA LOSE WHEN I GOT 12 POSTS ASJFKHKASJFDHASDKJF THATS SO NNNNN IM SO HAPPY BUT SO SAD BC NOW I TRIED TO TELL MATT IM VOTING HIM BC I WANT TO BE HONEST BUT HE SAYS HES TALKING TO A BRICK WALL LIKE???? SORRY FOR NOT WANTING TO GIVE U FALSE HOPE AJDSFHDKAJ its honestly so rude like ive been in that position before so i know what its like when ur pleading ur case and the person doesnt seem to care and im NOT doing that. but obvioulsy i didnt just make up a plan on what to do at f4 so obviously i have thoughts and plans and im not just gonna switch it up bc u plea to me now. idk KJASHDFKJ also im so scared im gonna lose now NNN hes saying anna played so well and tbh she kind of did maybe i lose no matter what...

So like i am leaving but its ok! why? cause i will preserve my legacy by dropping a whole ass fajita recipe here so that I can feel like i have made an IMPACT on the season. Even though like im still sad its me, im going out with a bang baby! I don't use this recipe personally ( I am a broke student) but its v.good!

Ingredients: 2 large chicken breasts, finely sliced 1 red onion, finely sliced (ready to make you cry) 1 red pepper, sliced 1 red chilli, finely sliced (optional) For the marinade 1 heaped tbsp smoked paprika 1 tbsp ground coriander pinch of ground cumin 2 medium garlic cloves, crushed 4 tbsp olive oil 1 lime juiced 4-5 drops Tabasco

Method: Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6 and wrap 6 medium tortillas in foil.

Mix 1 heaped tbsp smoked paprika, 1 tbsp ground coriander, a pinch of ground cumin, 2 crushed garlic cloves, 4 tbsp olive oil, the juice of 1 lime and 4-5 drops Tabasco together in a bowl with a big pinch each of salt and pepper.

Stir 2 finely sliced chicken breasts, 1 finely sliced red onion, 1 sliced red pepper and 1 finely sliced red chilli, if using, into the marinade.


Heat a griddle pan until smoking hot and add the chicken and marinade to the pan.

Keep everything moving over a high heat for about 5 mins using tongs until you get a nice charred effect. If your griddle pan is small you may need to do this in two batches.

To check the chicken is cooked, find the thickest part and tear in half – if any part is still raw cook until done.

Put the tortillas in the oven to heat up and serve with the cooked chicken, a bag of mixed salad and one 230g tub of fresh salsa.

hope the random person reading this uses it otherwise gj future me reading this you've officially gone insane! yeet ig?

This is going to be a sad day. I really like Matt and dont want to vote him out but its the best option from the people available. It really sucks. I feel his pain and ahh.

I’m literally going to cry. I want to help Matt. I wish we could all be final 3 but we can’t. I’m dying emotionally. Final 4 always has so much pressure cuz theres only 4 people left. I hope Matt doesn’t hate me. I hope he understands thisnis a game move because he techinically was the underdog in the beginning then was on top then back to underdog. I just hope he doesnt take it personal that I don’t think tie-ing it for him would be good for my game.

OMG IDK WHATS GONNA HAPPEN MATT GO HOME PLS BUT I FEEL LIKE ANNA IS VOTING MAYNOR IM GONNA BE SO SAD AHHHH DJSKFHSDKJF

Matt is voted out 3-1. He becomes the final juror.

ok so i had the worst day of my life today and didnt plan my speech at all so thats where im at NNN time to fake smile and hope the jurors like my ad libbed speech ASFKUHDFKJ ftc starts in 4 minutes.

well.. that was interesting adsjflhasdkfj. Like i always have 0 confidence in myself so i think im gonna lose and i really do respect the game that anna and maynor played. im just sad that i dont think i articulated myself well bc like im so bad with words anajsfhakj and ppl were saying conflicting things and its just not in me to like chime in with my pov to possible sway it in my favor bc i literally hate attention (i say as i broke out into song unprompted) but yaaa like i truly think that maybe i kind of did play super well and deserve to win but either way ill be happy bc i made *some* genuine friendships and also like had so much fun voting ppl out KFADHSKJASHK. i wish i like wrote what all my confessionals were so i could reference sth i said on day 1 but it was prob like i hate my tribe they ignore me so maybe ill just say that again FKJADSHFKJ. we love coming full circle... im so hungry i didnt eat so i will now stop typing to get dinner maybe i will write another confessional. omg wait gotta have some line thats iconic in case theres an episode title... think... love talking to myself FAKSDHFKj im so funny when i was like "i realized hey i respond to myself ill take me to the end" its such a mood KFJASDHFKJ ok but hm... ok. maybe im a snake who doesnt actually care about people and use them to my advantage to get my way but at least im not jayden. OMG jk thats so mean even tho he deserves it ALSO i was gonna like comment on keaton being like "saying the n word doesnt make u racist" but then he was kind of nice to me so i didnt.. love being as fake woke as me... not being confrontational to get a jury vote... so gross NNNN wooh idk how to end this but watch waves music video normani literally snapped so hard is being as slept on as me. omg wait... maybe im a pillow bc i sure am being slept on. iconic line.... i love the hosts so much ignore literally every cringe thing i wrote in this confessional pls FKJADSHKFJ

IM VERY DRUNK AND I DNT KNOW IF I HAD TO. BUT EITHER BRYCE OR ANNA WILL WIN CUZ IM A MES AND DONT DESERVE TO CUZ THEY WERE BOTH AMAZING FOR LETTING ME GET TO FTC. I WANNA THANK ANNA THE HOST FOR BEING AMAZING AND GREAT. I LIKED THE ALICE THEM CUZ HEART CUZ ICANT  EMOHJI, ,LOVED THIS SEASON AND UR ALL AMAZING HOSTS.

Im happy I made it to the final 3. And even though FTC was bad; I enjoyed it. I know I’m probably getting 3rd which is fine. I have so much respect to Annabelle and Bryce and everyone in the jury. I’m more excited to be able to talk to all of them again. Let’s see who is our winner will it be Bryce or Annabelle!? The hosts you guys were amazing and i had a great time this season. Im glad Jones pushed and convinced me to apply. Thank you for giving me a spot in this season. And Jones you da best. 💖💛💙

confession time. everytime i write one of these i put the day as who are u and my name as what day is it.. my mind always having to go change it. but um didnt think i would be writing another one of these FJKSADF but i have no self control and winner reveal is in 4 and a half hours and im literally sick FAKJDSk i feel so anxious and nervous like even if i lose im gonna be happy but i just really want to win also im still trying to process ppl not liking me or my gameplay and saying i played with their emotions FJKASDHFJ i had a blast. anyways this is the anthem of the day apparently https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhzN7SfnNeY

WHATS GOING ON?? IM TIRED IS WHATS GOING ON IM SO ANXIOUS! im sooo anxious i want to win. pls...

Bryce wins Celestial Marmoreal in a 4-3-0 vote!