#PHEW OKAY THIS IS RAMBLY

[sappho-ilmarinen]

So... There's a hungarian X-Men parody comic series and it's as crazy as it sounds

There are currently five issues, two short tie-ins, one comic about the past and the first comic of the new five part line. Or so I'm aware. Alright, let's get into it because this shit is crazy.

-The title, X-Embörök means "X-Men" but in a very specific hungarian dialect, tied to the city of Szeged most famously. Which is where the story takes place.

-Everybody has hungarian names which range from weird to absolutly henious, in a good way, because it's a parody. It's meant to be like that. Most names are direct translations of the english ones, like how Nightcrawler is called Éjmászó.

-The civillian names are also gunny as shit. We have Xavér Károly (Charles Xavier), Zsoldos Emil (Erik Lehnsherr, the name is not TOO similar but it FITS) and Szürke Janka (Jean Grey, szürke means grey. Also yeah, in hungarian the family name comes first.)

-One very glaring difference from the original comics is that everybody's poor as shit. It's Hungary, after all. Prof X runs a shitty mutant diner and stay in hotel (I guess) where the X-Men live. Magneto was an underpaid physics and chemistry teacher. Until he decides to take over the world again. (That's how the story begins.)

-They swear a lot, because, again, this is Hungary. Prof X routinly says stuff like "Well kids, this was shit."

-Both the good guys and bad guys have been retired since the fall of the socialist era, it's only now (2003 in the story) when they start working again.

-The good guys and bad guys are actually friends, because there are so few mutants that only they understand each other truly. Prof X and Magneto meet every sunday at the market and have sausages and talk about their ideas or play checkers.

-The idea of a mutant soceity is actually fairly developed, because it's said that most people don't notice them, but there are communities that are hostile, and it doesn't shy away from showing how a characters got lynched by angry mobs led by a priest for example.

-There's a slur to mutants, "mutkó" (it's kinda like mutie I think from canon) but it's also explored that mutants refer to themselves as such in a way of reclaiming it.

-It's also explored how mutants and humans can be jealous of each other, because humans want powers, but they don't recognise the downside of said powers and mutations, and that some mutants envy humans because they'd rather be "normal."

-There's a lot of lore detailed in each comic in the form of essays at the end and it's great, it really fleshes out the world. There's the first mutant group of the socialist era, great battles, having kids and not knowing about it, the usual.

Now, the characters:

-Dr. Prof. Xavér Károly (Charles Xavier): He is the prof all right. Has a strong Szegedi accent, wheelchair-bound, grumpy. Is a psychologist because he wanted a job where he doesn't have to work. Runs the shitty mutant diner. Honestly might be too tired for everything ever.

Egyszemű Óriás/Egyszi (Cyclops): It’s said he is a comic book nerd but there's not much going for him tbh. Lives with the Prof.

-Torkosborz (Wolverine): Raging alcoholic and massive loser. He cannot fight and he constantly sobers up because of his healing mutation. He hates that. Wears a cowboy hat for some reason? Lives with the Prof.

-Jégkocka (Iceman): Aaaand this is where I'm having problems. (What, you thought this hungarian comic series from 2013 was unproblematic?) So this guy is the youngest, and his main thing is that he thinks he's black. He’s not, he's a white dude. And he constantly goes on about how he is the "king of the ghetto" and shit. Everybody in the story finds him annoying and NOBODY humors him. He lives with the Prof, he’s the new guy.

-Szürke Janka (Jean Grey): She left the group and currently works at a hair saloon. The only X-Men with a working brain and both she and the Prof are wildly aware of that. She likes her civillian life and didn't really want to go back.

-Éjmászó (Nightcrawler): German accent, but hungarian name, so I assume he has austrian heritage. Currently homeless and cons people for money, so he doesn't have much of an issue of going back to the Prof.

-Zsoldos Emil/Mágnesvas (Magneto): Was in the original X-Men group, but slowly his and the Prof's ideas started diverging and he ended up being evil. He wanted to turn humans into mutants. But he retired, and works as a teacher, as written above. He has no money, burnt out as shit, so he just snaps one day and now he is evil again. He starts collecting his band of evil mutants.

-Titokzat (Mystique): Worked in the same hair saloon as Jean/Janka, but she decided to go back to being evil. Has a very skimpy evil dress but I think it's there because it's a trope and it's funny. Probably has the most braincells in the group. Does all the work, while Magneto is being lazy.

-Békaember (Toad): He has a sad backstory of being lynched a lot in his village. Now he has a wife (Margit) and they love each other very much. He works and stuff, but goes back because world domination is fun I guess.

-Gyújtogató (Pyro): The other character I don't like. They had to bust him out of a mental institute. He’s just weird and crazy, I don’t like it.

-Fűrészfog (Sabertooth): Was also in the og X-Men group, but he left. He is a vegetarian living in a forest, trying to make the animals eat corn. He initially doesn't want to go back but he does anyway.

Closing thoughts

Honestly this series is a wild ride. It's absurd, it's hungarian, it's weird. But there's obviously a lot of care put into it, and the creators obviously love it. One essay at the end of one explains that to create a parody you both have to know the source intimatly and love it dearly. I think these guys get it. Despite its flaws, I love this series because it knows what it is and doesn't try to be something it isn't. Give it a read if you can.

[nina-ya]

GOOD MORNING EVERYONE HAPPY TUESDAYYYYY!! I am so proud of you guys for waking up today!! drink some water, have a snack, and lets get through the day!!

[chaosinstigator]

I still feel fucking high from this weekend, this is gonna be the best two weeks for me my god thank you for your service marc

[wp100]

used my Delver's Bounty I got today on my main

...and ended up with the same piece of gear I got last week from a delver's bounty. Wtaf.

[arvandus]

So I really need to share this thought because it's plaguing my mind and I need to focus on IRL stuff today....

But I love LOVE the fact that Sebastian looks so much like Ciel's father. Like, that was a CHOICE. I'm almost through The Book of Circus, but it's obvious that it's intentional. Not sure if it was Sebastian's decision to appear to Ciel that way as a form of manipulation, or if Ciel requested it (which would be even more interesting).

Because Ciel knows what Sebastian is. He knows what will happen at the end of their arrangement. And yet he still wants him to stay with him each night as he falls asleep, and he wants him to care for him and protect him and never leave his side.

Even more so interesting in that I'm sure Ciel's father was very loving toward him (his family was always portrayed as happy together), and yet they were very rich. So without a doubt, Ciel had servants tending his every need where most other families would have such duties handled by their parents. So to have Sebastian resemble his father and care for him the way he does, makes me think of how Sebastian is filling a "loving" caregiver role that even his father never fully stepped into, even though his father obviously loved him very much.

UGH, the entire thing is just so tragic and painful and I'm drinking up every drop. I just love the entire dynamic, the whole thing is done so well...

[doctoralpha]

That moment of panic when you're 14 episodes into a 16 episode kdrama and something happens that makes you go: "Shit, does this drama have a sad ending? I forgot to check before I started watching!" *frantically opens a search engine on your phone*

[metrosexualcyclops]

i feel ill

[skyward-floored]

The mild validation you get when one of your siblings admits they’re not feeling well too—

[skyburger]

do NOT ask me a question and then let me go on wikipedia to check something you WILL receive really bizarre useless information

[dracoj]

another beautiful day reading my notes on the reading comprehension website <- they have no idea

[coatl-cuddles]

Summarizing the Sky Seasons, but I barely know what I'm talking about

Pt. 3 final part!

Ok besties these aren't in order these are just the collab season but they're IMPORTANT!!!

Sky X Le Petit Prince

Season of The Little Prince - The Little Prince comes to sky. Important lore notes:

-Dark water is alcohol

-Krill do NOT attack creatures without light sources. The Prince was spared by the krill.

-Anyone can die in Eden. Light source or not. The Prince dies here.

-Anyone can reincarnate through orbit, but that doesn't mean they'll reincarnate back into the world of sky.

-more uses for dark stones such as lighthouses.

Sky x Aurora

Season of Aurora - I literally cannot cover everything that happens in this season lore wise in one post. It's insane how much happens.

Story notes:

-The tale of Prince Alef goes more in depth

-Rise and fall of the Sky Kingdom from its beginnings to its annihilation

-Sky Civil War

-Use of dark stones + mining of dark stones

-the brutality the light creatures faced when harvesting their light

And so much more

The full animations are on YouTube please watch both the pre-quests and the main concert because they're DIFFERENT!

Season of the 9-colored Deer -

I'm so sorry pookies I did not play this nor do I care to. Pretty cosmetics though.

Sky X Moomin - TBA !!!!

Summarizing the Sky Seasons, but I barely know what I'm talking about

Part 1

Season of Gratitude - Inspired off of the Festival of Buhtan! Just a season where they celebrate to give thanks and prayers.

Season of Lightseekers - A family of spirits try to collect the dwindling resource - light - so they don't fade away. It doesn't work.

Season of Belonging - A family gets separated before visiting their grandmother. They perish and their souls are scattered. By ringing a (dinner) bell, you remind them of who they are. The family gets to have one final meal together before moving on. (Thanksgiving themed)

Season of Rythm - Dude, we're getting the band back together!!!!!!

If you ask about the elder bird tgc takes you behind a shed and you're never heard from again.

Season of Enchantment - Spellcasters try to save the land using spells and the Lightseekers light, but ultimately their vessel crashes and they tragically die in the wastelands.

Season of Sanctuary - Not everything is canon in this season according to the devs.

The important takeaway is that they killed too many light creatures, had a sanctuary to try and raise the population, but then the sanctuary got corrupted too.

Season of Prophecy - To keep it short:

Essentially, it's the story of how a Sky Kid became the evil king.

There once was a prophecy where a child would complete ancient death trials and gain 4 elemental powers.

This ended up being Prince Alef, who then became King Resh. Lots of children died, and Prince Alef becomes all powerful. Krill get brought up here for the first time.

Season of Dreams - HELL YEAHH I LOVE FIGURE SKATINGGGG !!!!

Season of Abyss - a band of Scavengers/Pirates look for dark stones. While doing so, they accidentally discovered the ancient facilities where Vault members did experiments. Experiments where things went very wrong. The band of Scavengers accidentally unleash the horrors under the water. This leads to their deaths, and the leviathan escapes the facilities containment.

Season of Performance - TWINSIESS MOMENT!! Season of Rhythm part two (2) BUT THIS TIME ITS CLASSICAL THEATREEEE!!!

[moonstruckme]

hi!! ngl i’ve never actually requested anything so im kinda nervous to do so but if it’s possible, do you think you could write something along the lines of eddie munson with like an anxious reader? maybe she has a panic attack and he’s there to help in the aftermath or just an overall anxious person. i know you’ve written something similar with the marauders so i hope that this is okay for me to request. i love love love ur writing!

Thank you for requesting lovely <3

cw: aftermath of panic attack

Eddie Munson x fem!reader ♡ 642 words

Eddie’s rambling hasn’t stopped since you sat down, but it’s become background noise for you, like ocean sounds or the music they play in grocery stores. You know well enough how to get yourself through this. His hand on your back is a steady, if somewhat frantic, reassurance. 

“You okay?” Eddie asks, his rhythm slowing as you blow out a lungful of air, bending your head towards your knees. You hold up a weak thumbs-up, and it picks up again. “Shit, yeah, you’re okay, baby. You’ve got it.” 

You feel bad that this is Eddie’s first time dealing with you like this, though it’s nice to be in his trailer and not at the mall or in a restaurant or something. His couch is familiarly uncomfortable, lumpy in places and nearly flat in others, and the air smells like weed and grease, the electric fan Wayne brings out for the summer months whirring diligently in the corner. You’re glad Wayne’s not home now, though someone should probably be around to comfort Eddie after he’s done comforting you. 

“Anything I can do to help?” he asks again. “You want some water or something?” 

This time, you nod. Your boyfriend all but springs up from the couch, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and hustling it back to you like he’s training to be one of the NASCAR pit stop people. You take it from him, rubbing the condensation from the bottle on the back of your neck before taking a sip. The chill is grounding. You rest your head back on your knees.

“You feeling better, sweetheart?” Eddie grabs another water bottle from the fridge once he sees what you did with the first, holding it to your neck. “You seem better. Sounding less like Darth Vader.” 

You laugh a little, and he laughs back nervously. 

“Yeah,” you say, “it’s mostly better now.” 

He blows out a breath. “Phew, okay. Jesus. You’re a fucking champ, you know that?” 

“Thanks,” you chuckle. “Sorry I put you through that.” 

“I’m pretty sure I’m not the one who went through something just now, so consider your apology heard and nullified.” Eddie’s lips come down on the back of your head. “I’d tell you where to shove it, but I’m feeling kind of bad for you right now. Count your blessings.” 

“Oh, I’m counting them.” You smile down into the semi-dark valley between your legs and chest, taking one more deep breath in and out before lifting your head. “Okay, I’m good.” 

“Yeah?” As he pulls back to see you, your boyfriend doesn’t look so sure. His eyebrows are pulled up in the middle, freakishly huge eyes full of freakishly sweet worry. “Good enough for a hug?” 

You hum your assent, and in the next second you’re in his lap. Eddie goes all the way, curving his body over yours as his arms wrap protectively around your back and his cheek squishes into yours. 

“It scares me when you’re scared,” he admits. 

“Sorry.”

“No—goddamnit, what did we say about that? You’re lucky you’re cute, I swear—don’t be sorry. Obviously it’s not your fault, I’m just sorry that happened to you. It seemed really fucking shitty.” 

“It felt really fucking shitty,” you agree. “I’m wiped.” 

“Honestly? Me too.” Eddie chuckles. “Nap?” 

“Yes, please,” you say, but wriggle closer to him, preventing him from getting up. Eddie doesn’t seem to mind. He starts rubbing your back again, contemplative. 

“You wanna sleep here, or on the bed?” 

“Bed,” you answer immediately. 

“...right. But are you gonna get up and go to the bed?” 

You make a thoughtful humming sound, grasping him tighter. “Probably not. Maybe you could carry me?” 

A sigh, long and dramatic. “Yeah, maybe I could.” Eddie’s hands move to grip you more securely, and he grunts as he stands. “You’re seriously lucky you’re cute, trouble.” 

[tinylilacbun]

omg babes I adore your page 🫶🏻 please please please may you do some more thumb sucking with thanos (squid games)? not too sure of plot myself but anything works! if not, it’s okay! please and thank you, lovie!

s a f e w i t h h i m ˖ . ݁ 𝜗𝜚 . ݁ ₊

warnings: usual squid game angst, mentions of blood/death/drugs, slight ooc thanos, slight thumb sucking

Mingle. A game that was once one of your favorite games to play back in your childhood now turns out to be your worst nightmare to come true, standing on that spinning platform as you force yourself not to freak out.

You stay with Thanos' group, not having much of a choice with the way he keeps a tight grip on your wrist, still fooling around in his drugged state and even trying to make you laugh or smile, which doesn't really work with the constant unease going through you right now.

The first rounds have luckily gone good, well good for you because Thanos makes sure to keep you close to him whenever the timer starts, dragging you into the closest room.

Then the number 2 was announced.

At first you feel a moment of relief when Thanos grabs your hand again, only to get separated when someone crashes into you, sending you to the blood-stained ground.

You're disoriented for a second, the flickering lights making it even harder to focus, once you get a glance at the timer you can feel your heart drop. 15 seconds.

Before you can accept your fate you get yanked up to your feet, everything happening in a blur as your brain tries to process the situation.

Thanos, however, was never clearer before, the second he didn't felt your hand in his had him looking for you instantly, not bothering to look for Nam-gyu or some other player, because he wanted you.

He promised to protect you, and that's exactly what he's gonna do.

He drags you to the nearest room, grabbing the back of another player's jacket to yank them out as they're about to enter, kicking another one in the stomach as they try to intervene.

Without hesitation he pushes you inside the green colored room, slipping in right after you and slamming the door shut just in time for the lock to click shut, sealing you into safety.

You press yourself into the corner, sliding down onto the ground to pull your knees to your chest, the adrenaline slowly fading as the tears finally start to flow, in both relief of being in here now and fear of what could have happened if it weren't for your protector.

"Holy shit! Oh my god! You- You were like gone and then I just- wham! Knocked that guy away! Phew..." Thanos rambles, stumbling over his words and pacing the room as he gestures with his hands around widely, the adrenaline haze fading.

You lift your hands shakily, looking at the blood from who knows who sticking to your skin, hastily trying to wipe it off on your clothes while sobbing until you feel Thanos' hands cup your face and forcing you to look at him.

"We did it!" He smiles, squeezing your cheeks to make your lips form into a slight pout, not being able to sit still with the energy - more specifically the ecstasy - that's still running through his veins. "Told you I'll protect you, little flower."

You simply throw yourself into him, making him stumble back from his crouched position with a 'oof' as he instinctively wraps his arms around you, leaning against the wall.

The guards outside will need some time to remove the disqualified players, so he has enough time to calm you down, make you reliant on his comfort to make sure you won't leave his side even if you wanted to.

He can feel you trembling against him, holding onto him for dear life, maybe out of gratitude, maybe because you just need someone to ground you, either way, he doesn't care, simply tightening his hold on you as you curl against him.

"There, there, I got you. Been a little wild out there, huh? But you're okay, I made sure of it." He starts rocking you slowly, letting you cry everything out.

"Y-You gone...was s-scared...n-no wanna die." You sob incoherently into his tracksuit jacket.

You don't even register that he moves his hand to your face again, shushing you unexpectedly softly as he slips his thumb into your mouth to soothe your cries.

It actually works fast, your crying easing down to small hiccups due his comforting presence and assurance by just holding you.

"Shh, just relax. It's over. We're okay." He whispers, leaning his head back against the wall as you suckle your anxiety away, closing your eyes every now and then. "Nothing's gonna happen when you're with me."

You just nod, too exhausted to talk and simply grab onto his wrist possessively to make sure he doesn't pull his thumb away as you enjoy the rare moment of peace and - almost - privacy.

[lynposting]

"damn okay :'("

Hands you a nice colored flower as an introduction and bows.

(I'm stalking this blog now)

He scowls at the offered flower, distinctly not taking it.

"N0 TH4NKS."

[thisittybittykitty]

Phew! I finally read the first arc myself! No more basing my opinions on MAPs or any of that stuff! And boy do i have a lot to say. Let's start with the man himself. Firestar. Now i want you to note a few things, one, this is gonna be unbearably long, because i ramble a lot about the stuff i'm passionate about. And two, this is only gonna be on the first arc. On second arc, third arc, fourth. No Firestar’s Quest. None of that. Just arc 1 Firestar. Let's start with the questions we should always ask about a character!

'Who is Firestar?' He's an adventurous, curious, strong-willed cat. Brave, conscientious, compassionate, determined. Oblivious and nosy but loyal and understanding. He is the kind of cat that would do what he believes is right even if it's against the Warrior Code. Already, we run into a problem. This argument has been used a 100 times, but it's still kinda valid. Firestar has very few flaws. He literally entered the ThunderClan camp, and got bullied for being a kittypet. Especially by this one warrior named Longtail. Now what does our main character do? A. Ignore him. B. Defend himself calmly. C. Quietly take it. D. Tell Bluestar. E. Jump down and beat him up. Wanna know the best part? Firestar literally won his first ever battle, with no training, or experience. Just pure reflexes and instincts. This meme is literally them.

On one hand, it's good that Firestar defended himself. But violence will make things worse for both parties. That entire scene, for me, felt ridiculous. It didn't make Firestar look strong, just make Longtail look pathetic, and that’s sad.

'What is Firestar's dreams and goals? How is he willing to achieve it? And what is stopping him?'

His dream and goal is to explore and learn and be free, hunt in the wild and run in the wind. The Clan gave him that and gave him another goal to work towards. Being a warrior. Why does he want to be a warrior? What kind of warrior does he want to be? Why not a medicine cat? These questions are...not exactly answered. And then there's the biggest of them all, why did Firestar want to leave at all? Curiosity? Childish impulsiveness? Did he ever miss Smudge or Princess or his kittypet friends? Did he ever miss kittypet life in general with its simplicity and convenience? We have a 'kind-of' answer to that last question. In Fire and Ice, and The Darkest Hour, it tackled how Firestar felt like he's an outcast. Like he didn't belong in the Clan. Princess was able to provide this sense of belonging since...she's his sister. And was also a kittypet. In the Darkest Hour, it talked about how Firestar, he may have missed, and even envied the kittypet life with its simplicity and safety, but also told himself that kittypets would never know the satisfaction of learning warrior skills or fighting alongside his friends. Which is...okay? Everyone is different. Another question i would like to ask is

'What motivates Firestar to do what he does? Why is Firestar the character that he is?'

This is where i'm lost.

You can say that his reasons for doing what he does is because of what he believes is right. Right? Now that can be interesting, when the character isn't right all the time. I'm not sure about that with Firestar. Most of the time, he's right. I say most of the time because, thankfully, there are a few times where Firestar made dumb decisions, as few as they are. Spottedleaf (Enough said) Underestimating Sandstorm and not giving her Tawnypelt. It's not wrong to make a moral compass kind of character. It's just hard to make them interesting. And Firestar is...unfortunately an example of that. Few flaws, few mistakes, little growth. Another thing is that, we don't get much backstory from him. You can say that he was a child when the series started so the backstory is what happened. But i want to know what happened before it. Now, does a character need a backstory? Not really, no. Does Firestar need it? Yes and also no. I'm conflicted if i want him to have one or not. At one hand, i'd appreciate if we got a little story that shows us why he is who he is. But also, i feel like i'm asking for a lot, since characters don't always need a backstory and a reason to be shown or told. Maybe it's more fun when it's up to the fans to interpret it. Maybe that's what the writers were going for? I don't know.

I'll stop here since this is already long. I'll continue it in the future. Just a few things. 1. I'm not a writer. I want to be, but i'm not. I'm just using what i know from videos i watched. 2. It's okay if you like Firestar. I like him too. Just hope there was more done with him. 3. Again, If i got anything wrong or missed anything, please tell me. Anyway, that's all i'll share today. Next topic is gonna be about the relationships Firestar has with everybody. I'll only talk about notable ones though. Toodles!

(edit: i think i should have added this since it is pretty important. But better late than never)

'Did the journey Firestar take in life have any impact? Did he change? Who was he before and who is he now?'

The journey from kittypet to leader was most definitely interesting. Fun fact, Firestar never wanted to be leader in the first place. It's always fun to see characters learn and grow. And Firestar learned, and grew. At the start of his journey, he was ridiculed for something he wasn't able to control. Being born as a kittypet. Even when he became a warrior, that mockery stayed. However, not all of it was negative. He had his friends, his mentors, and apprentices to support him. There was most definitely some hardships. Firestar’s life wasn't easy. He lost a lot of his friends, and experienced horror with the dog pack, and was given responsibility he never asked for. I know that this might be confusing since i sat earlier talking about how Firestar needed this or that, and he does, but that doesn't mean i don't like him. He just, again, feels more like a plot-device than a character. He has his moments, being irrationally afraid of Brambleclaw, being stupidly nosy in Mistyfoot and Stonefur's heritage, being confused on why the Clans always fought for seemingly no reason, being kind to everyone, even to those who he knows dislikes him, helping those from enemy Clans even though it got him in trouble. There's a lot to Firestar and yet little. Which makes me conflicted about him. I always kinda feel like i'm overlooking or missing something, or maybe i'm being too harsh? Maybe i said something contradictory? Someone please tell me if what i said was accurate at all or if i'm making stuff up.

[blue-jisungs]

childish honesty

author's note. okay phew this has been rotting in my drafts since JULY??? the main reason of not posting was literally no idea for the title bye. anyways i hope you enjoy, esp you @l3visbby since this is the chan work i’ve been talking about 💀

big shout out to my beloved @planetkiimchi for proofreading, ilysm and thank you so so much <3 i really appreciate it 🥹

summary. there’s a cute guy who’s literally perfect. everything starts to work out when your little secret comes out // or in which you always adored children’s honesty but fail to do the same

summary. 7894

warnings. swearing, alcohol consumption + one scene in a club but nothing too wild, mention of cheating. a bit angsty :) chan is a bit of an ass but then again, he kind of has a reason….. + some cameos <3

biting the inside of your cheek deep in thought, your friend – jeongyeon – noticed you’re drifting away. tapping the back of your hand gently, warm smile on her lips. your other friend, jihyo, scoffed.

“and you’re gone again… don’t tell me he’s on your mind” she sighed dramatically. a blush crept on your face since you were caught.

“girl, you were supposed to relax! clear your head! go wild!” jeongyeon grunted and broke into a mischievous giggle “well, the last one is for later”

“we know you love him but please, stop thinking about him. for once…” jihyo pouted “i’ll get jealous!”

“okay, you know i love you both” you smiled, grabbing their hands “i’m sorry. you know how it is”

“well… we don’t. but we understand, we know what you’ve been through. that’s why you need a break” jeongyeon said and jihyo nodded in agreement “aaaand we need to find you a new man”

“huh?” you blinked, reaching for your coffee cup.

“oh come on, don’t act like you don’t understand” jihyo winked and you almost choked on the hot beverage. the action made your friends laugh “what?! that’s not what i meant…” you grunted but your reaction spoke for yourself.

“now that i think about it… jihyo, do you remember chan? from our company? he’s in another department but he’s the manager, you should know him” jeongyeon hummed, tapping her fingers against her coffee cup. you stole a glance at your phone. no one texted you.

“of course i do! i love chan, he’s so cute and good in what he does… wait” the corners of jihyo’s lips curled into a mischievous smile “oh…”

“oh indeed” jeongyeon smirked, both of them slowly looking at you.

“what?” you asked and your attention was quickly dismissed when your phone buzzed. the girls in front of you exchanged sly looks with each other and nodded in agreement.

“okay! let’s go to my place and change up, hm? it’s friday night, i already thought of a party plan” jihyo smacked the table energetically and stood up from the seat, going over to pay for the coffee.

“where does she get this energy from…” you murmured as you texted back. jeongyeon smiled and stood up too, waiting for you.

“yeah… no…” you grunted, swirling the drink in your hand. squeezing your phone between your cheek and your arm, you looked for your lipgloss hidden somewhere in the bag.

you wanted to finish talking before your friends come back with even more drinks. it was hard to hear jooyeon’s rambles due to the loud music booming in the club.

“‘m sorry, can you speak a bit louder?” you asked and managed to find your lipgloss “or just…”

“y/n!” you heard jihyo’s shouts

“sorry, baby, i need to go!” you said

“but…” jooyeon whined and you sighed apologetically.

“i’ll call you in the morning, okay?” you hummed and were met with a soft, sad hmpf. quickly hanging up, you pretended to use your phone as a mirror while holding the lipgloss.

“we’re back, ta-dam!” jeongyeon put the drinks on the table and shot you a suspicious glance “do you even see anything?”

“no… not really” you giggled and put your phone down, gulping down your previous drink “i’ll be right back!”

entering the bathroom you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach. you really shouldn’t have hung up so early. what if it was important? what if he needed help… what if he needed you?

quickly fixing your lipgloss, you shook your head. you shouldn’t think about it so much. the girls went out with you to have fun so just for a night you could forget about him, right?

after hiding the lipgloss in your mini bag; zipping it so the small electric guitar keychain dingled gently, you left the bathroom.

right away you felt your legs tripping or just the impact of someone bumping into you, you weren’t sure. before you could fall, a surprised yelp reached your ears and two hands held you sturdily by your waist.

“i’m sorry, i should have watched where i was going” a male voice rung in your ears, causing you to squirm away from his hold. he let go, shaking his head “sorry”

“that’s okay, it was my fault too” you nodded and looked at his face. the red neon lights in the club didn’t help you in analysing his features but from what you saw now, he was handsome. his mouth opened and you could sense he’d apologise again but suddenly jihyo’s favourite song came on.

you just nodded for the second time and turned around, the man’s gaze following you �� unbeknownst to you.

quickly joining your friends you went to the dance floor, finally starting to relax and temporarily forget about your worries.

arriving at your place, head pumping like crazy, you slowly opened the front door. it was around 10am, saturday morning. quietly entering the kitchen and painfully slowly opening the upper cabinet so it doesn’t creak—

“mom is back!”

you sighed. mission failed.

turning around with a smile you were met with jooyeon’s body launching at you.

“easy there” you giggled and last minute kneeled down, so he could hug you properly. his small hands wrapped around your neck, lips smooching your cheek “missed me that much?”

“duh! it’s boring without you!” jooyeon grinned cheekily and leaned away. then you registered someone leaning over the kitchen counter.

“jooyeonnie, could you maybe pick up the toys in the living room? quick, so mom won’t see the mess” the feminine voice was gentle and soft, as always.

“oh shoot, the toys!” jooyeon yelled out, causing you to scrunch your face. as he ran out of the room, you stood up and sent yuna a warm smile.

“thank you…” you sighed, grabbing a glass of water

“i can see the party was nice” she giggled, observing you “do you need me to stay longer? it’s not…”

“no, absolutely not. i already asked you for too much… but thank you so much” you shook your head as a no, putting the mini bag on the countertop.

yuna was jooyeon’s babysitter. she was a first year university student so the deal was great for three of you: jooyeon loved her (and vice versa), she got to earn some money and you had the opportunity to spend your time with friends or stay overtime without any stress. but hey! it was friday, today it’s saturday and yuna, such a young and lovely girl, definitely shouldn’t miss out on her free time on you two. plus your hangover.

“i’ve got this” you nodded and handed her the cash. she looked at you worried, then stealing a glance at jooyeon who already got distracted with something else.

“if you need anything please let me know…” yuna smiled politely.

“i need you to rest now” you chuckled and patted her arm “i’ve got this, really. have a nice day, yuna. jooyeon, say bye to aunt yuna!”

“bye bye!” he yelled out and ran up to her, grinning and reaching his hand out. they did a high five and yuna left, a sweet smile on her lips. to think she was one year younger than you when jooyeon— “where were you?” jooyeon crossed his hands and cocked an eyebrow, watching you. finishing your water you started looking for some medicine.

“with auntie jihyo and jeongyeon…” you started slowly, trying to focus and figure out what to say “… having a fun time. girls’ night out, you know?”

“mhm…” he hummed, dark irises glued to you “then why do you smell so… gross?”

you scoffed, the package with painkillers dropping from some hidden spot behind glasses.

“we were dancing and having drinks… and when i left, aunties were still sleeping so i didn’t want to wake them up with the loud shower” you explained, taking the meds “is it that bad?”

“yeah. take a shower, you stink” jooyeon ordered and turned around, happily going back to the living room and whatever he was doing with the play-dooh. kids are so honest, don’t you just love them?

following his orders you showered, fighting your eyelids. oh a nap… nap would be great right now.

leaving the bathroom, already in your comfy clothes, you shuffled slowly to find jooyeon. he was scribbling something in a colouring book.

“i think i’ll take a nap, joo. wanna go with me?” you asked quietly. his eyes lit up and he dropped the crayons, grabbing your hand instead

“of course, let’s go!” he exclaimed, leading you to your bedroom. jooyeon was old enough to sleep in his own bed but if he had the chance to sleep with you… on the biiiig bed… there’s no way he’d miss it for the world.

soon enough you were falling asleep with mr wolfy, jooyeon’s plushie, by your side.. and nugget, his another plushie. and five other plushies. and, above all, with your son snuggled comfortably next to you.

chan typed furiously, engrossed in his task. he didn’t even realise when felix walked into the room.

“hey, chan?”

he looked up, taken aback.

“what’s up?” chan asked, smiling softly. his features softened, looking at felix’s pensive face.

“see, i was talking to jihyo… you know, the other manager…” felix started. chan nodded — obviously he knew her. they meet once a month at the monthly evaluation “do you happen to be willing to go on a blind date?”

chan froze, eyes widening. he let out a nervous laugh, scratching his head.

“what is this about?” he asked, felix breaking into a smile.

“well you’re single, right? and apparently jihyo has a friend… so we just thought…” felix drifted off and took a deep breath “listen, i know i’m in no place to say it. but you’re my friend, we’ve known each other for years. and i feel like you should give it a shot. just once”

“but…” chan started, still not fully realising what’s going on

“don’t worry about it, i’m sure you’ll do well. literally everyone likes you, you know? me and jihyo can set up the date, just let me know if… that’s okay” felix breathed out, smiling softly. chan looked down and shook his head, shrugging.

“okay. just this once and only because you’re so kind about it” he scoffed. felix’s face lit up, eyes sparkling with joy.

“really?” he asked in shock. chan looked back at him and smiled

“really. but while you’re so euphoric, don’t forget to send me those audio files of the songs, okay?” chan dead serious. his friend nodded enthusiastically, leaving the room.

what the hell did he just agree to…?

fidgeting with his fingers chan stared at the people in the café. it was cozy, cutely decorated and full of plants. it’s not like he wasn’t here before, it was his friend’s cafe – seungmin’s. he knew all the staff, he was there to help with the decor and all. hell, he often worked there on his laptop with headphones in, in his own world (even though seungmin hated when he did that, apparently he scared the customers away)

he took a deep sigh and looked over at the counter. seungmin along with his two workers, momo and minho sent him thumbs up. of course, they knew about the date, felix had told them.

the door opened and he looked up, excited and nervous at the same time. his features dropped once he noticed it was an elder lady. letting out a scoff he checked the time. well, he was the one who was a bit earlier. would you be on time? or show up at all? he was thinking about–

“excuse me? are you chan?”

he looked up, blinking slowly. oh wow. you… you looked stunning.

“oh. yeah. yeah, that’s me” he nodded and stood up, reaching his hand out “y/n, i assume? jihyo’s friend?”

“yes” you smiled and shook his hand, sitting down “did you wait long?”

“oh, no… not really” he scratched his neck, glancing at his friends. they all sent him thumbs up “here’s the menu…”

“thank you. oh wow, the choices are…” you giggled nervously, reading all the drink and dessert descriptions. jooyeon would definitely like strawberry boom, whatever that was.

“i know, right?” chan tilted his head and adored your features. when jihyo said you’re pretty, he didn’t give it a much thought. he’d say the same thing about felix or his other friends too. but you… you were really angelic. and your smile was so sweet, he never wanted to see it disappear– “hm?”

“i’ll just go for an americano for now” you said and looked up “what about you?”

“i’ll get the strawberry cake, it’s really good. well, actually my friend owns the cafe so…” chan mumbled “… um, yeah. depends what you like, the lemon muffin is good too!”

“okay, if you recommend it then i’ll take it” you shot him a smile and before you could walk up to the counter, someone arrived at the table. your eyes widened upon seeing momo, a friend of jeongyeon’s. you talked a couple of times, she’s really nice but you didn’t know she worked here. in fact, didn’t she work at some dance studio…?

“hi, can i take your order?” she asked sweetly. chan’s gaze was focused on you. it warmed your heart because, well… momo was gorgeous. and he chose to look at you? a small thing but still…

“yes, i’ll take the strawberry cake and espresso. and for this beautiful lady, americano and lemon muffin” chan said, sending you a boyish smile. momo nodded

“iced or warm?” she asked you, winking.

“iced, please” you hummed and realised you still have your purse hung over your arm. momo walked away and you took the purse off, hanging it on the back of the chair.

“sorry if i’m awkward, i haven’t been on a date in a while” you chuckled and noticed chan’s gazed glued to your purse.

“the keychain” he hummed, pointing at it. you grabbed your purse and showed him the electric guitar keychain that was attached to the zipper “it’s cute”

“thank you. it’s a gift from a family member, i carry it everywhere” you hummed and watched chan’s eyes widen.

“were you perhaps at a party last week?” he asked, giggling when your face turned into shock while nodding “oh! so this is the mystery person i bumped into”

“what?!” you laughed loudly, uncontrollable grin plastered on your face “no way! i didn’t see your face then…”

“well me too but i remembered the guitar chain. i’m kind of a music freak… well, i do music for passion and work so it just… it just caught my eye” chan hummed, pointing at the item again “do you play?”

“oh, i used to when i was younger. and then boom, adult life, work, uni… i had to sell it to make ends meet. so, sadly, not anymore” you explained and nodded your head slowly. it was true.

however, a fact was that jooyeon gave it to you. well, he bought it somewhere when he was on a trip with his kindergarten. music ran in his veins ever since he was little. you still have those cute videos when he was younger and used pot lids as drum plates–

“–for a living?” chan’s question brought you back to life. momo arrived and placed your orders. letting out a small, amazed gasp you took out your phone to snap a picture. you’d show it later to jooyeon. maybe one day you could visit the café with him.

“i work in corpo. numbers, numbers and numbers. i wanna change my job but eh… is it worth the risk?” you answer and your life flashes in front of your eyes when your wallpaper appears on your phone.

obviously, it’s your son but you hoped chan didn’t see it. so you try to act like nothing happened: “this muffin is so cute i need to take a picture”

“honestly, understandable. if it wasn’t my millionth time here, i’d snap pics too” he hummed and realised that ever since you exchanged greetings, he would not stop smiling.

“done! ah, yours looks appetising too” you nod, the big strawberry on his cake as red as the guitar on your keychain.

as you two dive into the desserts, you continue your conversation. you’re surprised to come to a conclusion that after such a long time of not having dates, you weren’t stressed. and… you’re having fun?

jooyeon was doodling something next to you with his tongue stuck out while you were in the phone with jihyo and jeongyeon.

“so?! how was it?!” the former practically yelled, causing your son to look up curiously. he twirled his small pointer finger next to his temple and muttered “she’s crazy”, causing you to scoff and pat his head.

“weeell… it was nice. chan himself is veery handsome but also, so kind? it is a little suspicious now that i think about it” you hummed, subconsciously smiling at your son

“noo, please! we’ve known him for a while and trust me, this man doesn’t have a single bad bone in his body. a green flag, if you will” jengyeon whined “tell us more though!”

“well, we talked… had a nice dessert… and talked more. oh and also, we were at the café momo works at!” you said and stood up, going somewhere distant so jooyeon wouldn’t hear your next words

“we know, we did this on purpose so she could tell us the truth in case you ran away or something…” jihyo laughed, causing you to scoff “and girl! she told us you two just wouldn’t shut up! she said she could feel the chemistry from all the way over there”

a blush crept at your cheeks. was is that visible? he’s just… so cute. and smart. and funny. and–

“did you tell him?” jeongyeon cut in, long silence meeting her question. you could hear the heavy sigh she left “y/n–“

“i know but i panicked! it’s like a biggest turn off for a guy, no? like personally, i’d run away” you mumbled looking over at joo engrossed in his task, swinging his feet and humming happily “i’ll tell him next time, i promise”

“you better. WAIT, NEXT TIME?!” jihyo yelled out and all you could hear were squeals and screams. jooyeon jumped off the chair and grabbed the paper sheet he was drawing on

“yes, next time. we’re having a second date next week and he gave me his number” you squealed too, unable to control the excitement. jooyeon grinned and run up to you, handing you the paper with anticipation.

he drew both of you with guitars in your hands. well, you were also holding hands. a lot of hearts and something that looked like a wolf in the corner. there was also a big, crooked but colourful ‘for my beatifull mommy’.

you leaned down and pressed a kiss onto his forehead.

“thank you, my little rockstar. i love you” you hummed, deciding to ignore the typo he made. it’s the gesture that counts.

the next date was a surprise. chan texted you to meet at their company, and because you work close, you agreed. he told you you two would drive for an hour, but he promised it’d be worth the wait.

leaving jooyeon with yuna (who complimented your outfit from head to toe, as if she was the one taking you on said date), you were off.

you arrived at the jyp building, almost pretty sure that jeongyeon and jihyo were watching you somewhere from their offices.

chan was standing there, in his suit and tie loosened a bit with a bouquet of fresh flowers in his hand. you gasped and that caught his attention, turning around.

“oh, you’re here!” he smiled brightly. approaching him, you noticed the flowers were probably a picked set; petals mostly white and in pink shades “this is for you~”

“oh… oh wow. i’m… woah, thank you” you smiled widely, warmth spreading across your body. you couldn’t remember the last time a man gave you flowers (except jooyeon, every year on mother’s day… and literally every time he saw a pretty flower and picked it) “they’re are really beautiful”

“i know, right? i thought about you when i saw them but… you’re prettier” chan smiled cheekily and blood rushed to your cheeks. mumbling a quiet, almost incoherent ‘thank you’ he giggled, pointing at something “my car is parked over there. i didn’t think this through though because there’s no water. hopefully the flowers won’t dry out”

“even if they do, i’ll keep them. dried petals really have their own charm” you hummed, smelling them. you followed chan to his car and he opened the door for you with a charming smile. the vehicle itself was way bigger and more expensive than your own. and way more comfortable. and clean. well, chan probably didn’t have a messy five year old to begin with so maybe that’s why. or maybe he’s just a neat man who likes his environment clean and squeaky? that would be nice but then again, with jooyeon nothing ever is clean.

the drive went fast, way too fast. maybe because there was not a moment of dull conversation with chan and you were truly enjoying yourself. in fact, you didn’t even notice when you arrived at a parking. it was surrounded by tall grass, preventing you to see what’s around.

you left the car, leaving the flowers on your seat and chan joined your side.

“so… how’d you meet jihyo and jeongyeon?” he asked, genuinely curious. you followed him and noticed a beach. letting out a small gasp you took off your shoes, grabbing them in your free hand. chan did the same, leaving your left hand and his right one free.

“well… i had a boyfriend in high school. and one day a girl came up to me and gently explained that she thinks my boyfriend is dating someone else. i was surprised, to say at least and i didn’t even want to believe her. but she was like “girl, you need to believe me! let’s talk to his other girlfriend”… so we did. we realised it makes sense, the girl even showed us pictures she took” you giggled at the memory, suddenly – for a brief moment – feeling how his hand brushes against yours “the girl was jihyo, the other girlfriend was jeongyeon. we decided we want to expose him. in the meantime we asked jihyo why she’s helping us and she told us that he asked her out! can you believe it?”

“what a dickhead” chan grunted, amused smile dancing on his lips. he was listening to you, eyes adoring your face.

“i know, right?” you chuckled and when your hands brushed again, you noticed how the tips of his ears turned pink. cute. “so we exposed him, when he was on a ‘date’ with jihyo. we were sixteen so we just, you know… publicly said this and that. i think jihyo told her friends and the word spread he’s a pathetic liar. but our friendship stayed”

“oh woah. i thought it was just like, clicking after working on a project together but this was way more than i could imagine” he laughed and you joined him.

“yeah, it’s an unusual story. how about you? i’m guessing you met her through work stuff?” you tilted your head.

“mhm, exactly. when i was picked as a manager she congratulated me. then we just started meeting at the monthly meetings for managers and chatted during the breaks” he said and then shook his head “with all due respect, enough about jihyo. i wanna know something about you”

“well, what would you like to know?” you hummed.

while you took a walk, chatting about his career, your passions and his travels, the sun set beautifully at the horizon. once the pastel pinks and oranges morphed into navy sky, stars peeking one by one, you decided to return back to the car.

and that’s when you realised chan lost the shoes he was holding. trying to look for it, which was hard not only due to the darkness but also the uncontrollable laughter you two couldn’t contain, you still chatted. that’s when you found out he’s from australia (“oh woah, i always wanted to go there!”) and that he has a dog, berry. just when you said that you were thinking of getting a dog too (well, more like jooyeon wanted a puppy), chan found his shoes.

they were in the sand, waves moving them around. just as he was about to take them, water came. chan yelped, giggling and backing off. you followed him but then realised the shoes were being taken away by the sea. since you had on a sundress and he was in pants, you decided to walk into the water to grab them.

“no, y/n!” chan called but you were already almost knee deep, taking his shoes. you showed them to him and walked up, scratching your head.

“uhm… i don’t think they’ll be useful anymore” you grunted and before you gave him the shoes, chan took off his blazer. placing it slowly on your arms, he took the wet shoes.

“we’ll see. thank you though, you didn’t have to” he laughed.

only when you entered the car, did you realise how late it had gotten. you texted yuna that you’d be back in an hour and offered for her to sleep at your place. she didn’t read the message, so you assumed she might be already asleep.

chan was so kind as to drop you off right at your doorstep. stepping out of the car, he walked you to the door with a shy smile. the flowers in your hand dried a bit but maybe, hopefully, you’d be able to save them.

“thank you for today” you said with a soft smile, slowly walking up to the door “i had a really fun time”

“me too. seriously, i enjoy spending time with you” chan hummed, his hands behind his back. you had a feeling he wanted to say something else

“the beach was really pretty as well. and thank you for the flowers, i’ll try to bring them back to life” a chuckle left your lips and he grinned “if… uhm…”

“we can do this again sometime” he caught on and smiled boyishly “i’m open to suggestions what fo you want to do next time”

“well, i’ll think about it. and… good night, chan. drive safe and sleep well” you said slowly and took a deep breath before quickly pecking his cheek. chan’s ears turned red as you put in the code to the staircase.

“g-good night, y/n!” he stuttered quickly as you walked in. sending him a warm smile before you went to the elevator, off you were.

chan checked if you’re really gone and started giggling like crazy, fingers gently caressing the spot you placed a kiss on.

during your third date with chan, after texting him all the time you decided to go to the cinema. you paid in advance for the tickets when you decided to see oppenheimer (only because you’ve already seen barbie with your friends). laughing at chan’s reaction when he realised, he promised to pay next time.

but in the middle of the movie you got a phone call. you’d decline it but as soon as you noticed it’s jihyo (because she was staying with jooyeon today), you rushed out of the room telling chan you’re going to the bathroom.

“yes? what’s happening?” you asked as soon as you left, going to sit at the nearby bench.

“pfff… one phone call and you already assume something is happening. well, actually right now…” jihyo started and your heart dropped when you heard jooyeon crying in the background.

“jihyo. what happened?” you hissed, anxiously gripping your knee.

“well, i don’t really know. i was watching the news and doing some paperwork while he was jooyeoning in the background, when suddenly he started crying. i checked if he hurt himself, nothing. he won’t tell me why, he won’t hug me… i don’t know what to do. he told me not to call you but i’m getting nervous” jihyo said and you could tell by the speed of her speech. taking a deep breath, you nodded.

“hand the phone to joo, please” you breathed out and soon you heard your son’s choked sobs. “jooyeonnie?”

“mom…” he sniffled and suddenly started yelling “you’re a liar! you’re gonna leave me just like daddy did! you– you–! i hate you–!”

“hey, hey… calm down, joo. what’s going on? mommy is never going to leave you” you whispered, heart shattering. what is going on?

“you will! you’re a liar! and you’ll leave auntie yuna and auntie jihyo and– and auntie jeongyeon too! you’re a bad, ugly liar” jooyeon started hyperventilating, sobs and cries only audible on the other side of the phone

“jooyeonnie… i’d never leave you, i promise! mommy will be back in a second, alright? do you want me to buy you a snack on my way home? anything you want, my precious baby” you cooed, heart thumping in your chest. did someone say something in the kindergarten?

silence. long silence.

“dino nuggets…” jooyeonnie murmured, sniffling again.

“got it. i’ll be back in ten minutes, dear” you gulped, standing up “love you so much. i’ll be back soon, hold on okay?”

you hung up and hid your phone back in your bag. running your hands through your hair as your mind raced. what happened? who made joo think this way? why–

“y/n?”

you looked up and saw chan walking your way. great.

“are you okay? i got worried, you…” he stopped, smile dropping “you’re pale, did something happen?”

yes. your son – about who you didn’t tell him yet – is bawling his eyes out at home, god knows why. and you’re terrified. parenting books didn’t prepare you for any of this.

“i… i don’t feel too good. i’m sorry, i think i’ll go home” you mumbled, sending him a sad look “i’d love to stay but…”

“hey, hey. i understand. absolutely don’t worry. do you want me to drive you home?” he asked, voice genuinely filled with worry. it made your stomach flip, it was something truly heartwarming.

“no, no it’s okay. i’ll take a painkiller and go to sleep but i’ll let you know once i feel better. again, i’m sorry for ruining our date” you mumbled. chan took your hands in his and caressed it with his thumbs.

“please don’t worry about anything, okay?” he hummed and squeezed your hands “are you sure you’ll go home on your own?”

“yes, i am. i’ll keep you updated. again, i’m so–“ you started but chan shook his head.

“don’t be” he said softly and let you go. you sent him an apologetic smile and walked away. chan observed you until you were gone from his sight.

you were home quickly, with dino nuggets and some other necessities (gummy bears and ice cream). swinging the door open you almost dropped the groceries, running up to jooyeon. he wasn’t crying anymore, which was good but now he was sitting on the couch with his arms crossed. pouting. ah. he’s more angry than sad now.

“jooyeonnie, i’m here” you breathed out, giving jihyo a look. she nodded and took the groceries, preparing to heat up the nuggets for jooyeon “will you talk to me? please. did someone say something bad?”

he put his lips into a right line, looking away.

“you’re a liar. you’ll leave me, just like daddy. even auntie jihyo said she’s scared of you leaving” he huffed, lower lip trembling. you sent jihyo a piercing look to which she only mouthed ‘it was a joke’.

you sat up and wrapped an arm around him. joo slapped your hand, wriggling away.

“i won’t leave, baby. what made you think that way, sweetie?” you asked quietly.

jooyeon sighed deeply.

“the guy”

you looked at jihyo, frowning. she shrugged.

“what guy?” you asked. jooyeon puffed his cheeks.

“auntie jihyo said you’re seeing a guy and in a blink of an eye you’ll leave them. and if you’ll leave them, you’ll leave me” he grunted.

oh.

“baby…” you whined, pouting “that’s not…”

“and– and you will disappear, just like dad! the guy will take you away!” jooyeon whined and finally looked at you, cheeks and lashes still wet from tears.

“he will not. your dad was a pu– scaredy cat. he was scared, that’s why he left. i will never… ever, ever leave you, joo!” you smiled and squished his small cheeks “yes, i am seeing a guy. but even if i like him and i’d like him to be my boyfriend, i won’t leave you. we’re a pack, you know? whoever would want me, has to want you too, hm?”

“was dad scared of me?” jooyeon asked, eyes tearing up again.

“oh no no no! he was… how to say it… he was scared of the responsibilities” you sighed. well, technically joo’s dad was scared of him but that’s not a conversation for now, with a five year old “you’re not the reason, okay? if anyone said anything to you…”

he shook his head slowly. so this was the case. poor jooyeon was just scared and… in fact, you did neglect him lately. you didn’t… you didn’t even ask him about his day. after picking him up from kindergarten you went straight away to dress up for the date–

“if that would make you feel better… if there’s a guy i’m seeing, you’ll have to accept him. or not. if you don’t like him, you tell me. we have a deal?” you cocked your head and reached your hand out.

“m’kay…” he murmured and his smaller hand squeezed yours. you pulled him into a hug, hiding your nose in his hair.

“i’m sorry i made you feel that way” you mumbled. jihyo came over, sniffling. sending her a shocked look you realised she’s… crying.

“i have dino nuggets!” she said cheerfully despite her voice trembling. jooyeon leaned away and pecked your cheek before aiming for the nuggets. you let him eat and looked at jihyo.

“what? you made me emotional. can we approve the guy too?” your friend mumbled. you nodded and scoffing, you hugged her too.

during your fourth date with chan – and yet another one during which you didn’t tell him about jooyeon – you were currently strolling down the street, coffee in your hands. well, you drank yours. having a small chat you couldn’t help but giggle when he told you about the time he mistakenly took wrong pendrive to work. resulting in showing his boss a presentation he made for a powerpoint night with his friends, titled: “why felix eating chicken is cannibalism”. you were about to ask him how on earth he didn’t get fired when–

suddenly your heart dropped and everything started happening in slow motion.

jeongyeon and jooyeon walking from around the corner, holding hands. jeongyeon was talking to him, smiling and your son was engrossed in the conversation. he was holding a small flower. his ebony eyes noticed you and widened, sparks of joy. his lips opening, a tiny hand of his letting go jeongyeon’s. and then you heard it.

“mommy!”

joo ran your way, almost dropping the flower. chan was still clueless, eyes laser focused on your features. once he realised something’s wrong, jooyeon was close. your instinct told you to squat and open your arms to hug him, so you did. joo’s body hit yours, tiny hands wrapping around your neck.

“hiya mommy!”

you hugged jooyeon back and leaned away, tucking a strand of his longish hair that stuck to his forehead. was that paint–?

“hi baby” you whispered, barely audible. jeongyeon walked up, panting. finally you looked at chan, heart pounding against your rib cage as if it was about to break any second. you couldn’t read him. sure, his mouth was hanging open and his eyes were widened but…

only when you picked up jooyeon and came back to chan’s eye level, there it was. the reaction you knew too damn well. features dropping, shock morphing into realisation. next was…

“that’s… that’s your kid?” chan spat out. jeongyeon squinted, jaw tensing. she liked chan, sure. he was a nice guy and a hardworking manager. but what he was about to say could completely change her point of view.

“yes” you mumbled faintly, sending him a weak smile “it’s my son–“

“you didn’t tell me. i get it, not saying anything about– i don’t fuc… know, a goldfish when you were nine but a child“ anger. anger was next and now there will be– “y/n… i’m disappointed”

your heart dropped. you had a small flame of hope that he won’t be like the other guys. he won’t run away, he won’t judge. but no. despite all the fun time and genuine softness of his character chan was like every single man you’ve met before.

“i can explain–!” a pathetic whine ripped out of your throat, making jooyeon tilt his head.

“i don’t… i need to go. we’ll talk later” was all he said before walking away.

jeongyeon quickly came over and took jooyeon from your hands. truly, you were thankful for that. as your heart shattered into pieces, your knees went weak. you wanted to lay down on the sidewalk and cry; no, wail.

looking at jooyeon and then jeongyeon, you took a deep breath. no. you’ll have to wait until later. you don’t want him to see you cry. your friend’s face was saying ‘told you so, you should’ve have told him sooner’ but her hand met yours and gave it a small squeeze.

“i’m sorry” she whispered and nudged your arm. jooyeon poked you and gave you the flower he was holding “let’s go home, hm?”

the next two weeks were tough. chan left you on read, so you gave up on texting him. the worst part was that you knew it’s your fault. you should’ve told him earlier. but… you really thought he’s different. he really was, so caring and soft; he didn’t want just to hop in your bed. but in the end, he’s just like others.

jihyo and jeongyeon wanted to kill him. yuna too, even though she didn’t know him. the girls told you that he’s off ever since that day. jihyo didn’t talk to him, only sending cold looks his way. chan seemed… ashamed every time they met. especially jeongyeon. in fact, he seemed to avoid them.

jooyeon was a sweetheart, though. you weren’t sure if he understood but he knew something was wrong. he tried to cheer you up and it worked. how could it not? he’s adorable himself. bringing drawings and flowers from kindergarten or just watching him experiment on the garage band with a huge smile on his face. just having joo around was enough.

one day, he invited his friends over. it was quite a challenge: five other boys running around in your living room. but their laughs were contagious. while most of them, including junhan’s. he was the most shy one, clinging to you and peeking at the boys. joo though, being the happy virus he is, dragged him away from you and they ran to his room. when you wanted to take a look what’s going on, the oldest and the boldest pushed you out.

so you decided to do some paperwork, a sitcom playing in the background. from time to time you heard shouts and sounds of footsteps… and metal lids smashing against each other. guess they were playing the band game.

smiling upon remembering the times you used to do that with jooyeon while you still had your guitar, there was a doorbell ring.

gaon, one of the boys run out.

“if that’s my mom tell her i’m not here!” he yelled and ran away back to joo’s room. scoffing, you walked closer to the door. how would that even work? if you were to say that, his mom would lose her mind. it was the whole purpose of inviting them so they’re here–

“hi”

your eyes widened. opening the door, you were met with chan. he was holding a huge bouquet of flowers, biting his lower lip anxiously. you were so stunned, you couldn’t mutter a word.

“i’m… can we talk?” he asked, sparks of hope in his ebony eyes. he was dressed like usual, black from head to toe. you on the other hand… already in your pyjamas–

“i, uh… sure, i guess. come in. or no… see… joo has friends over and–“ you started and got interrupted by a loud metal noise. ah yes, the drums. sending chan an apologetic smile, you sighed “yup. that’s exactly what i was going to say”

chan smiled, nodding.

“it’s fine. those are for you. i know this isn’t enough to make up for how i reacted but…” he handed you the flowers. while you rushed to put them in a vase, chan stepped in and closed the door.

his lips subconsciously curled into a smile while he looked around your place. tiny shoes all over the floor, crayons and papers laying around, cars and legos splattered everywhere. there were plenty of pictures too. most of them were just your son. some of them were jihyo, jeongyeon and you. and your son, again. or some pictures with your parents, like on your graduation day. and another one: your parents, you and your son.

“okay, come in. take your shoes off, it’s already a mess. do you, uhm… want some coffee?” you asked, fidgeting with your fingers. he shook his head as a no.

“no, thank you. listen y/n… i’m sorry” chan said, looking into your eyes. you were shocked, mouth slightly parting. he let out a nervous laugh “i’ve been acting like a total idiot since then but i needed some time to think, i’m sorry”

“yeah, i mean– it was kind of a bomb, wasn’t it?” you scoff. chan noticed a glint of bitterness on your face.

“can we sit down? i feel like–“ he started. you led him to the couch, quickly moving away the small, plastic plates boys left after dinner.

when you were settled down, you turned off the tv. there was comfortable silence, only filled with background noises of faint music coming from joo’s room.

“again, i’m so fucking sorry. y/n, i just… you are really the girl of my dreams. i don’t think i’ve ever met someone who understood me so well, who i just had this flow with. and i truly like you, i really do. i… i know the way i reacted was shitty. but… maybe if you told me…” chan finished hesistantly, scanning your face to see your reaction “truth be told, i needed to think it through. i had so many thoughts but… why, why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

you let out a deep sigh, looking down. at his neat black pants and your messy pyjama ones.

“because i did it before. and each time i was met with the same reaction. either a nasty comment or a weird look, and all of them ended up in eventually leaving me without word. or a word as in “listen, you’re cute but the kid”–“ you took a deep breath, feeling yourself bubble up. chan grabbed your hand and squeezed it “and, and i was so tired of that. it was so selfish of me and unfair for you and even jooyeon but… for a moment i wanted to feel loved. wanted to have fun. i wanted to cherish those moments because i knew you’d leave too and–“

crystal tears started running down your cheeks. chan pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you. one hand at the back of your head, caressing your hair soothingly.

“and it’s awful; i’m awful. joo thought i’d leave him for you and i knew you’d leave me because of him. it’s never ending circle and i’ll be alone forever and joo will think it’s his fault and–“ you hiccuped, not realising you’re rambling “and- and i really liked you and your reaction hurt me but it was fully my fault…”

“hey. hey, y/n. calm down, it’s okay” chan whispered, lulling you in his arms. you gradually calmed down, the feeling was full of comfort. comfort and closeness you needed. such a simple move, yet it had soothing effect. this made you realise why joo loved to be out to sleep this way.

leaning away from chan when you finally gained the strength to, he wiped your cheeks.

“i’m sorry, from the bottom of my heart. neither of us didn’t handle it properly. we’re human, we make mistakes. but then we learn. i understand now why… why you were scared. and i’m so… pissed. because listen, y/n” he said, voice stern but not in a disturbing way. his calloused hands took your smaller in his “despite the way i reacted i realised i like you. and… if there’s… joo… then– then it is a bit of a challenge. but when i was thinking about it and did the math… you were 20. alone, young. during studies, during work. you were so brave. you still are. and you handled it on your own. so why i, a man, should be scared of helping you?”

your eyes teared up again, heart beating against your rib cage unusually hard.

“well, i am. because i don’t know how you’ll react, or if he’ll like me, or maybe because simply i’m new to this. but… as i said… i like you. and i really want to spend more time with you. if that means taking care of your son, i’m willing to do so to” chan smiled, dimples showing “especially if he’s as funny as his mom”

suddenly you heard footsteps and giggles, followed by a sudden gasp.

“no mrs lee! i’ll save you!” the oldest boy, gunil, shouted. before you could react, chan was getting beaten up with pillows by six kids. even the shy junhan.

he started laughing and fought back, gently of course.

“does anyone here have tickles?!” chan hummed and the boys squealed, backing away.

“who’s that?” jooyeon asked, tugging your t-shirt.

“he’s a friend of mine. chan. can he watch your performance too?” you asked. chan’s ears perked up.

“performance?” he repeated. jooyeon nodded proudly.

“yes! but our music is for vips only!” seungmin added and just now you realised they grabbed the keyboard from joo’s room. jungsu, seated next to him, nodded shyly.

“okay! i’m a music producer so if you guys want i can give you some tips…?” chan asked, sending you a smile.

“pft! auntie jeongyeon and jihyo are music producers too, they gave us tips already!” joo grunted, walking away “anyway… is the audience ready?”

chan nodded enthusiastically and scooted closer to you. watching the six boys perform, chan sneaked his hand in yours and intertwined your fingers. with a squeeze of his hand your heart skipped a beat; you finally met the right person.

masterlist <3

taglist. @primoppang ,, @l3visbby ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @ameliesaysshoo ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @litepowee ,, @ocean-minho ,, @lessthanpast ,, @s-e-s-a-I-e-n-e