#PH up for pool

[zyaxchem]

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[mynameisbillandimaheadcase]

I haven't found a law that prohibits me from keeping native salamanders as pets so I guess I can breed and keep them.....? I might get in trouble if I get caught with them when moving them

But there's so little information I doubt I will get in actual legal trouble since they are no longer considered endangered

[azzayofchaos]

Since my other Nether worldbuilding post was received pretty well... I'm back on my bullshit!

This time featuring zoning and biomes of the Neath: Lore below cut

Nether (noun): the formidable hellscape straddling the boundery between the Fragments of the Overworld and Death's Realms.

Derived from Beneath -> Neath -> Neth -> Nether.

The Nether is most easily accessable through outer regions of the nether, regions that are comparatively closed-off, and lacking in biodiversity compared to the Deep Nether where most Neath civilizations are centered.

The Neth is divided into three primary zones, distinguished by altitude and general climates.

The Calfactory Zone: the largest and most icon of the three, the Calfactory zone is blisteringly hot and bone-dry, it's most prominent features are its abundant seas and lakes of magma, and the massive Supermagmas atriums that are common above the magma. In the largest of these atriums, the ceiling may be so high above as to be completely invisible from the ground, obscured by an ever present smog of toxic vapor and minerals formed in the self-generated micro-climates that are generated from the rising heat of the lava that begins to cool at a higher altitude.  

In the Basalt Deltas and other biomes around the edges of these lakes, massive pillars of rock and crystals bulwark the more-visible ceiling. 

The most common of this zone’s biomes is the Crimson woods, home to hearty thermal-philic fungi and plants that grow on the minerals and vapors of the lakes. Many are carnivorous in their lack of access to water or sunlight, and these forests contain many sub-biomes and ecosystems of flourishing life. 

The Wastes are perhaps the most desolate regions of the Neath, irradiated deserts of red-rock, brimstone, and sharp sand. Even the vast majority of nether-folk avoid these deserts due to the leftover radiation that rots and destroys anything that waits too long. The only forms of life are particularly robust lichens and bacteria that are happy to sit by the pools of boiling pools of sulfur and mud and toxic sludge that dot the landscape. Growing within the rocks themselves are colonies of amorphous fungus, called geocorpus molds that get their spores into cracks in the soft netherack and slowly feed on it, a delicacy in nether cuisine. 

The Temperate Zone: Cradled in the heights of the Neath’s atriums and sat bellow the roof is the temperate zones, the rising heat of the zone below begins to cool and forming distinct weather patterns in this zone and leaving it, while still sweltering, a cooler though much more humid climate.

The main biome are the luminescent warped-fungal rainforests that collect the high-rising minerals and odd moisture from the lakes. Liquid is actually precent here, though if it’s not safely filtered through the innards of the various plants and fungi, this water is usually aggressively corrosive, and it is best to shelter from the  acidic precipitation to avoid chemical burns. The nether folk and ender local to these rainforests are suited to deal with these conditions and the ender especially do not have trouble with the extreme pH of the water here like they would in the overworld. The zone is lit almost exclusively by the biolumincense of the organisms there and have often been described as false-stars.

In the Deep Nether, the ceiling may give way, allowing one to pass onto the plateaus of the Nether Roof and the yawning void above. The bedrock of the nether roof is jagged and layered in huge slabs, sometimes broken up my mazes of pillar-like structures and shallow, thermal pools of crystal-clear liquid. The kind you don't want to touch of course. fogs may hang low to the ground, but when its clear, or above the fog, the entire universe seems to spill out into the sky. The nether roof was culturally significant and a source of much knowledge and inspiration in the early days, but I'll get more into that in a later post 0.0

The Rime Zone: Plunge deep enough and one might find themselves bellow the lava beds. Here, where the heat can't quite penetrate, the temperatures will drop rapidly to sub-zero.

Namely, the Rime Zone is made up of the soul valleys, flat steppes of cinder and clotted sand, you can imagine it almost with the blindness effect, a fog that pools by your feet, and a heavier darkness hanging from the sky, it feels massive and endless and claustrophobic all at once. Frost collects as crystals on the irradiated, soul-soaked barrens, and the bones of the massive nether wyrms lie fossilized, breaking up the landscape. The sands are also split with patches of crazing on the ground and vents of blue fire that spills out and sets the sand ablaze.

These same wryms can be found sometimes, ancient things that dig through sand and soft rocks and the magma lakes, far and few between and treated with both fear and reverence.

And in the deepest pits of the Neath are the glowing frozen lakes that are colloquially and rightfully called the Gates to Death, glowing blue from beneath their surfaces. Indeed, any further down and you pass into limbo, the edge of Death's Realms.

Extra Notes??:

Soul sand/soil is tread on carefully or not at all, is one form of remnants from the apocolyspe. Like the general radiated rubble present through the Nether, it's a fault of nuclear fallout. Unlike other areas of radiation, its also been infused with the souls of those who didn't survive the joining of worlds.

This infused quality is also precent in Nether Debris, resulting in a material that takes magic particularly well.

Iron cannot be found in dense veins and crystals like gold or quartz in the nether, but it's a pretty rich mineral a lot of netherack, giving it its ruddy coloring.

Sorry for this massive rant that no one asked for. If you have questions please feel free to send an ask, I may not have an answer yet but I'll certainly come up with one if I can.

I'm also hoping to do a pass on my headcanons about history and culture in the Nether and then we might start talking about character headcanons since this is also an actual AU.

If you read this far, here's some notes on striders and ghast

[letters-to-lgbt-kids]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

This is another "menstruation education" letter - let's talk myths and facts about swimming while on your period!

Myth: You will leave behind a bloody trail in the water.

Fact: The water pressure temporarily decreases your flow. While it doesn’t stop completely, it usually slows down enough for it to not make any mess in the water! Even if something overrides this (such as a big sudden movement like sneezing or laughing), the small amount of blood that may get into the water will dilute quickly in open water (like in a lake) or will be neutralized by the chemical treatment of the pool water.

Myth: Being in the water while on your period will cause infections.    

Fact: It’s generally a good idea to change out of your wet bathing suit quickly after swimming (as the wet fabric can be irritating to your vulva and potentially cause PH changes that may increase your risk for yeast infections). But apart from that, there are no changes in your body that make it more susceptible to infection or injury while on your period!

Myth: If you swim in open water while on your period, you will get eaten by sharks.

Fact: According to the International Shark Attack File, there are no recorded cases of sharks attacking someone on their period. It is true that sharks can smell blood – but they can also smell urine and other bodily fluids. Despite this, shark attacks on humans are super rare.

Myth: Swimming will make your cramps worse.

Fact: If you feel up to it, gentle exercise can actually help with cramps! During exercise, your body releases endorphins that act as natural painkillers. (With that being said, you know your body best! If you don't feel up to it, it's okay to not exercise while on your period)

Myth: You can't swim on your period unless you use tampons

Fact: Tampons (or menstrual cups) are a great choice for swimming, but there are plenty of people who can't/don't want to wear them and usually wear pads instead. Pads aren't recommended for swimming (as they would absorb water and become very uncomfortable and possibily irritating). Luckily, there is an alternative: period swimwear. Those are special swimsuits made with extra protection to absorb menstrual blood - similiar to period underwear!

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[braidlottie]

christmas in july.

pairing: pool boy!transmasc!reader x milf!shauna shipman

summary: you’ve been cleaning ms. shipman’s pool for quite sometime now, even having a friendship with her. you never would’ve thought what happeneds when you stepped foot into her pool one night.

tags: smut, 18+, nsfw (minors dni), reader has his own pool business, reader has top surgery, shauna is divorced :3, pool sex, clit play, oral sex (shauna receiving), shauna has a christmas tree in the middle of july (you’ll see why), brief smoking (from callie and shauna)

wc: 1.8k

sorry i didn’t know how to end this fic pls Forgive me!!!!

life couldn't be better for you right now. you were out of college for the summer, and your pool business was booming. you always loved this time of year, you got a shit ton of money, and you just loved seeing little kids' faces when their parents tell them the pool’s clean. but there was one house that you absolutely love going to, you never pass up a chance to go there.

mrs. sadecki’s house.

well, ms. shipman’s house. you forgot she recently got a divorce over the spring, just leaving her and her daughter alone in that big, suburban house. you never really knew why they separated, but it was none of your business anyway, though you missed seeing the two together. mr. sadecki was always very kind to you.

parking your van on the curb, you grabbed all your supplies, like your chlorine tablets and your leaf skimmer. you walked up the porch step and rang the doorbell. “coming!” you heard ms. shipman’s voice echoed from outside the house, and it took for her to answer. “oh, honey, i’m so sorry, i just got out of the shower.” she opened the door, in a robe and wet, dripping hair. you told her it was fine, and she let you in. she kept apologizing for leaving you out in the hot sun, and offered you some lemonade outside.

you went out the back door to the pool and got to work, checking the pH levels, changing the pool filter, and even going back to your van for your vacuum to get some debris off the pool floor. your tank top came off while doing so, so you wouldn’t get it wet while vacuuming. you were at it for about thirty minutes before ms. shipman came back to check on you, a pitcher of lemonade in one hand, and two, tall glass cups in the other. she set them down on the patio table and pulled out two chairs. she couldn’t take your eyes of your chest, the water droplets trickling all the wall down to your-

“mrs. sadecki?” your voice brought her out of her trance.

“i’m just about finished, mrs. sadecki. oh- i mean, ms. shipman.” you cursed at yourself for the mistake. “that’s alright, honey, and i told you to start calling me shauna. all that ‘mrs’ stuff makes me feel old.” she poured you a cup of lemonade, passing it to you as you sat down.

“it looks beautiful, callie’s gonna love it,” she smiled, taking a sip of the cold beverage. “i made you a little kit, until next time. put some of this shock in there once every week so you can get rid of the bacteria. and your own little leaf skimmer so you can get all the bugs and leaves out and what not.” you pointed at the supplies next to you.

“thank you, that’s so sweet. oh, how do i keep the possums from getting in?”

“oh yeah, i got you a tarp, just lay it flat right over it at night, and you’re good to go.”

shauna smiled and nodded, ever so grateful for somebody like you, taking care of her pool. the two of you sat and talked for another twenty minutes when you realized it was around that time that you went to get something for lunch. it was almost like shauna didn’t want you to go, so she proposed something you never would’ve thought of. “are you free tonight?”

your eyebrows raised in surprise. “sure, what time?”

“around 7. i wanted you to join me and callie for dinner today. just as a thank you.” shauna got up from her chair, her hands behind her back timidly. “but, i’ve been cleaning your pool for a while now, shauna. i’m just doing my job.” her shyness began to shed off onto you now.

“i know, but i never really formally thanked you. c’mon, please?” shauna couldn’t believe she was begging to her pool boy right now. “well, i’ll be there. thank you, shauna.” she smiled back at your response, watching you grab your things and leave.

***

you came back, just “around 7” like shauna told you too, the sun was setting and shauna’s daughter, callie, was sitting on the porch swing, taking a hit from her vape. she saw you get out and walk up to her.

“sup?”

“sup.” you replied, putting your hand on your hip, your keys jingling in your hand. you’ve had a few interactions with callie before, except they were just awkward smiles and waves.

“your mom know you have that?” you gestured at the pen.

“no. are you gonna tell her?”

“nah, not today.” you smirked. the girl sniggered at that.

there were a few more seconds of silence before she got up to go back in the house. “i can’t believe my mom let the pool boy come to dinner. she must really like you.” she left the door open for you to walk in behind her.

“you’re back! and you changed.” shauna came to greet you, noticing that your swim trunks were different, and you had on a t-shirt with your company name on it. “of course, i did. didn’t want to come to dinner smelling like chlorine.” she chuckled at your joke. “woah. why is your christmas tree still up?” you admired the beautiful red, silver, and green ornaments strung along the branches.

“ever heard of christmas in july?”

“i didn’t even know people celebrated that.” you shrugged and callie scoffed. “that’s my mom, celebrating every holiday known to man. like, how are you from new jersey and you celebrate boxing day?” the younger girl scoffed.

“enough from you, help me set the table.” shauna scolded. you got a kick out of the duo, seeing them bicker back and forth about the most random holidays.

***

the three of you had just finished dinner, callie going up to her own room after saying goodnight. shauna let you stay for a while, sitting by the pool with you. the night air was cold against your legs.

you saw shauna pull out a box of cigarettes from her pocket, with a lighter as well. the lighter clicked a few times before she successfully lit the cigarette. she held out the box to you with a raised brow.

“oh, no, i don’t smoke.” you shook your head and smiled nervously. “ever since i left jeff, i started smoking these. i need to quit it though. i can already feel myself staring to shrivel up.” she scoffed, and you laughed again. looking up at the stars.

the two of you sat in the patio chairs the conversation g when shauna put out her cigarette and stood up. “wanna go for a swim?” she slipped off her cardigan, placing it on the chair. “i really shouldn’t.”

“aww, come on. just this once?” she kicked off her sandals. you twisted your lips in second guessing, shauna giving you a pleading look. “just for a little.” you smirked, and she smiled.

since you were already in your swim trunks, you just took of your shirt, leaving you in a tank top. you thought shauna would do the same, but when you turned around, she was already in the pool.

naked.

you gulped, not even realize how hard you were staring until shauna said something. “don’t be shy, honey.” you stepped down the pool stairs, teeth chattering at the coldness of the water mixed with the night air. you dunked your whole body in, even your head. you stayed under for a while before coming to the surface, wiping the water from your face.

“it feels amazing.” she ran her hands through her wet hair. you stood on the pool floor, trying to adjust your swim trunks, that have been feeling a little too tight ever since you got in. your rock hard nipples poking through your white tanktop. it was shauna’s turn to stare now.

“you okay?”

“yeah, sorry.” you looked up at her again, but your eyes went straight to her breasts. “my eyes are up here, sweetheart.” she spoke seductively. your eyes met hers, and she giggled at your expression. she swam closer, making you back up against the pool wall.

her finger went to your left nipple, twisting and pinching it over your tank. your breathing got heavier and heavier, her brown eyes looking up at yours.

“ms. shipman, we shouldn’t-”

“i know you want this. you’ve always had your eyes on me for too long, even before i divorced jeff.”

“wha- no, what are you talking about?” you sputtered. “i wouldn’t do that to mr. sadecki.”

shauna had a “you sure about that?” look on your face, and you knew she was onto you.

she was onto you the whole time.

she giggled at your reaction, so embarrassed but surprised. “naughty boy.”

her hands were snaking further down to your trunks, fingers still grazing over your nipple. “oh, shit.”

“want me to touch you?”

you nodded and shauna’s hand slipped down your shorts, fingers rubbing your engorged clit in small circles. you moaned, tipping your head back in pure bliss.

“you better be quiet. you don’t want my daughter up there to here, do you?” shauna pointed up at callie’s window, seeing that her bedroom light was still on.

“n-no- fuck- i’m sorry.” you bit your lip, trying to supress another small whine of desperation. “shauna, fuck.”

“such a dirty mouth for a sweet boy like you.” she smirked, applying more pressure to that little bundles of nerves. she knew you were close. and she wanted to make you come hard.

“fuckfuckfuck- i’m gonna cum,” you hips thrusted into shauna’s hand, shying away from her eyes. you groaned, muffling it with the back of your hand.

“that’s it, honey.” she whispered, wiping the trickles of water look from your face. after you catch your breath, your hands go to shauna’s waist, backing her against the pool wall now. she finally kissed you, moaning breathlessly into your mouth. “i wanna taste you.” you said hungrily, making shauna sit on the the edge on the pool for you.

you spit on your hand before rubbing over shauna’s clit, getting a low yet desperate moan from her, inhaling sharply when your tongue swirled against it. “fuck, baby!” she holds your head closer, squeezing it between her thighs. “oh, baby, i’m gonna cum so fucking hard. keep going for me.” her teeth gritted as she cursed.

she gasped, hurling forward and muscles spasming as she came on your tongue. she wiped a tear from her eye, the overwhelming feeling hitting her so hard. she’s never had sex this good. even when she was married to jeff.

“well, that was something else.” she struggled to stand, her legs a little shaky. she walked back to the patio chair, putting her clothes back on her wet body. you also got out as well, just lifting yourself up to sit on the edge.

“i’ll see you next week? y’know, for the pool?”

“uh.. yeah, yes you will.” you sniffed, shauna just smiling at you adoringly. hopefully it’s just for the pool, right?

part of you hoped it wasn’t.

[delirious-donna]

Hey Donna! ^^ I hope it’s okay to write you here. I would love to suggest for your game: NSFW, W with Kento Nanami <3

Hi flora!! Of course you can write here, anytime my love <3

W - Water (pool sex? bath / shower sex? are they into watersports at all?)

I don’t think Kento would be much interested in pool sex, maybe you could tempt him in a private hot tub or onsen if you really really try, but he’s a very practical man. He knows that it’s not very good for women to have sex in water, all those ph issues and risk of UTIs aren’t worth it for a quick tryst. Not very sexy in his opinion.

Shower sex on the other hand… that he can get behind, quite literally in most instances. Kento is definitely the type to join you in your shower without warning, only his large warm hands caressing up your thighs and over your hips are your first indication that he too is in the shower with you. He likes that he can help you wash, paying special attention to the areas he loves the most whilst he rocks himself between the cleft of your backside.

Again though, ever the practical man, he makes sure your footing is secure and that you have a good hold on the wall in front of you before he slides into your velvety hot hold. Kento takes his time, there is no frantic fucking in such a precarious position. Oh no, he’s going to slow stroke you to completion, his fingers rubbing joyful little circles into your hyper-sensitive bundle of nerves.

“At least we don’t have to worry about clean up, sweetheart. Now then, let me soap you up again.”

Ask game - open!!

[aeide-thea]

Laundry stripping may be popular in certain circles, but it's important to understand the science behind the deep-cleaning practice before you decide to give it a try. Ultimately, stripping some fabrics (like silk and wool) can actually do more damage than good—and utilizing this method too frequently can prematurely age your garments. […] [Cleancult CEO Ryan] Lupberger advises against the practice altogether, especially if you were considering Borax. "It's one of the products people often use to strip laundry, but is also an irritant. It can lead to skin irritation or a rash and respiratory side effects," he says, noting that there are concerns for exposure to humans, as well as pets. […] The shock of laundry stripping is the water—the process results in a dark, seemingly disgusting pool of filth. In reality, this discoloration is largely caused by hot water leeching the dye in your clothes, causing them to run. Stripping can, however, help remove dirt, lingering body oils, detergent residue, and hard water minerals; together these soils do contribute in part to that brown-gray water, says Lupberger. According to Tide scientist Jennifer Ahoni, "Our research and laundry expertise suggests that there are more effective methods to remove build-up on fabrics." Per Tide's findings, continues Ahoni, the stripping process can actually cause issues with many textiles. "The mechanism by which washing soda precipitates out water hardness can actually form new soap scum residues on fabrics," she says. "Additionally, we have learned that low wash pH is an effective method for soap scum removal, and washing soda raises wash pH—which is the opposite direction." Not to mention the fact that washing soda can also deactivate some detergent components, preventing your wash from getting extra clean in the first place.

[redundant2]

Rough

"A family member of mine was/is a casino host at Wynn.

Can confirm (Harry) was rough with the women he invited upstairs. (They weren’t escorts just women he saw at the pool earlier that day- had his buddy “fetch” them)

He roughed a few up pretty bad and apparently just paid a few of them a lump sum of money.

Wynn also got in trouble since there were photos of drugs in the room. (Believe it or not drugs are illegal in Vegas and a public photograph of drugs on a Vegas property could lead to them losing their license)

The palace and govt basically paid and paid and paid to sweep it all under the rug.

PH was asked to not come back."

[oneforthemunny]

seek and destroy |cowboy!eddie munson x reader|

prompt: based off this ask. you and eddie play your favorite game.

if anyone knows who made that cowboy!eddie edit originally plz let me know so I can credit them!! I found it on pinterest!

go to @munsonology page for more cowboy!eddie

contains: 18+ minor dni!!! cowboy!eddie, language, primal play, dom/sub tones, p in v sex, anal fingering, anal sex, creampie.

Cheek smushed against Eddie's worn Wranglers, those faded work jeans that were thick, protective for the days on the ranch, your eyes blinked blearily towards the screen. Your cheek was warm against his thick thigh, eyes shutting and nose tipping towards the worn blue jeans. It took everything in you not to bite the flesh, hard and tough from years of Bronco riding and work on the ranch.

Eddie's calloused hand ran through your hair, scratching your scalp lightly and letting his hand glide down your spine, tickling the top of your little cotton shorts. He let the tip of his pinkie swipe under the band of your shorts, rubbing the soft flesh of your tailbone, lazily spinning a toothpick around his lips.

You'd made him stop smoking in the house, nose curling at the smoke filled scent that lingered no matter how many candles you lit. As sweet and domestic as the cowboy was, he was still a bachelor before you, and some of those habits still carried on when you came into his life. He didn't have throw pillows, or hand towels, and he smoked cigarettes in the house; until you came along and changed all of that, changed him for the better. He still fidgeted, itched for a cigarette after dinner but wanting to stay in your company, so the tooth pick was the compromise for indoors.

You blew air from your lips, a heavy sigh, lashes fluttering and cutting to catch Eddie's reaction. His eyes stayed on the TV, watching re-runs of Alias Smith and Jones, Eddie's favorite show from when he was younger. He'd always watch it with Wayne and his Mama, while his dad and granddaddy were out drinking themselves silly.

"Ed," You sighed, turning so you lied on your back, blinking up at him. You should feel the zipper of his jeans, heavy bulge resting deliciously under your head, squirming at the thought.

A half-lidded hum was your response, puddle eyes blinking through thick framed lashes to look down at you, a dimpled smile that left you glowing and burning. You reached your hand out, cupping the stubble of his chin, thumb tracing the scruff lovingly.

Lip tucked under your teeth, you hesitated for a moment, Eddie's lips moving to the pad of your thumb, a sweet kiss that had your hear swelling, cheeks painting with red heat. Your hips rolled gently, thighs pressing together at the movement, the slight suckling of his lips around your digits.

“Hi, pretty girl.” Eddie cooed, leaving you blistering under his warm gaze, swimming in his affection.

You grinned, blinking up at him. “Hi,” you whispered back, pressing your head further into his lap to see him better, take in all those features you’d memorized a million times over. The ones you adored so much.

Eddie's brows furrowed, thick and exaggerated, making you giggle, toothy and sweet. "What's on your mind, honey?" Eddie asked, hand rubbing down your hair, tucking a strand behind your ear, feather light touch down the lobe.

You hesitated, tilting your head to the side, brushing against his crotch. You could feel his hips tense, your thighs pressing together, heat thrumming through your core, pulsing and making you flush.

"Hmm," You hummed, batting your lashes up at him. Eddie grinned, dimples and hungry eyes. "Nothin'... 'm just..." You shivered, a stuttering breath leaving your lungs.

Eddie lifted a brow, curiously- darkly. Like he knew what you were going to say, like he wanted you to. Heat pooled in the pit of your tummy, leaving you shuddering under his half-lidded look.

"'m just," You tilted your head to the side, cheeks blooming with heat. "I'm bored, Ed."

The phrase, that singular phrase was a gateway into your favorite game. A game just for you and Eddie to play, your own version of cat and mouse, hide and seek, hunter and prey.

Eddie's grin grew wider and wider, nearly comical, the Cheshire Cat smile that left you squirming, heart thumping with excitement. His hand gripped on your thigh firmly, rolling the tooth pick around his thumb and forefinger, plucking it out of his mouth calmly.

"Bored?" Eddie asked, mocking and excited. His eyes were wild, dark and lust blown. "Hmm, well, that's no fun." He hummed, tilting his head down at you.

Your heart hammered, rolling your bottom lip between your teeth. You gave him your subbiest, prettiest eyes, his weakness. You pouted, lip jutting gently and nodding.

Eddie tutted, hand cupping your jaw gently, thumb rolling over your lower lip. "Well, what should we do about that then?" His brow raised dramatically, the creases by his eyes deepening. "Wanna play a game?"

That's how it started. How it always started.

You'd bound off the steps of the porch, screen door squealing behind you before sprinting off into the darkness, boots and a flashlight your only necessities. Hide and seek, maybe-sorta. Hide and seek with a twist, something more sinister at the end.

Eddie would wind the timer to five minutes, taking his time to sit in his arm chair until it shrilled to life. You used to wonder if he'd cheat, sneak and look and see where you went, but Eddie never did. No way, he'd never deprive himself of such a thrill.

Your back pressed against the wooden planks of the barn, the gentle hum of the buzzing light at the top of the barn, the only light besides the house. Your heart pounded loudly, thundering and deafening in your ears. That familiar tingling heat of excitement roaming down to you core, throbbing and clenching around nothing, the anticipation of what's to come.

You gasped a little when the timer sounded, hand covering your mouth to quiet any other sounds. The cicadas chirped and buzzed in the nighttime, and you were thankful for the sound they made, concealing your tiny puffs of air. The cutting sound of the screen door groaning open, then latching, Eddie's heavy boots on the ground. He whistled the whole way, casual and calm- menacing. Like he knew you were lurking around.

"C'mere, Medusa." Eddie's gruff voice, graveling and a little chilling. "C'mon, sweet girl. Need y'to help me, baby."

Your knees buckled at the endearments. He knew you were around, the asshole. Of course he did. Why else would he use your favorite pet names if he didn't? Now, he was just playing dirty.

You heard him step into the barn, the soft grunt from being disturbed so late followed by Eddie's soothing apologies. You saw your chance. You knew once he got on Medusa, she'd sense you nearly immediately, too close to be concealed for long. You slid carefully, soft, calculated side steps towards the back of the barn, near the opposite side.

You'd wait until Eddie went to the shed- because he always did- before making a dash for the house. You'd be waiting for him triumphantly like you did the time you'd played before. You'd been so smug you had won, and Eddie had been more than happy to give you your prize, spending the night between your legs while he made you into a mess on his sheets.

Your boots slid easily, quietly, over the soft grass, ear turned to the barn to hear Eddie's movements. "I know, girl, I know. You're just about as huffy as your mama, you know that?" Eddie grumbled to the huffy horse. You blushed at the title, a high honor from Eddie. Medusa was his favorite horse, his best girl. You sometimes wondered if he loved her more than you.

You bit back a grin, pressing your ear closer, palms flat on the wood while you side shuffled. "Don't tell me you're gonna start bein' bratty all the time too, now. Don't think I can handle two brats on my ranch, darlin'." Eddie jested lightly, and you could practically see him petting her snout, her nuzzling his hand sweetly.

You bit back a small laugh, feeling giggly and warm at the thought. The rubber tip of your boots brushed against the discarded plank on the ground, sending you into a slow motion fall. Your knees buckling, hand slapping against the wood, breathy gasp falling out of your lips.

There was a silence.

A moment where you stilled, heart pounding, eyes wide and waiting.

Eddie laughed, low and gravelly. "Well, honey, looks like I won't be needin' you tonight after all." Eddie purred to Medusa, the click of the gate made you jump. "Baby, don't tell me you went that easy on me this time."

Your heart jumped with every heavy footstep that crept closer and closer, eyes darting from the back door of the barn back to the field. Hand pushing off the wood, you took off in a sprint- well, as much as you could in your knee high boots. Rubber slapping against your shins with every pounding step towards the fenced field.

The barn door swung open, but you didn't dare look back. "Oh, here we go." Eddie laughed, hands clapping together excitedly before he was sprinting after you. Long legs stealing the space between you easily, unfairly.

You got to the rusted gate, thick rubber wedging into the pole before you hoisted yourself up, swinging your leg over the gate so you straddled it. You thought for a moment, you might really win. That you could at least get a head start towards the back door of the house, beat Eddie to the bedroom.

Two strong, inked hands around your waist ripped those dreams away from you. "Wait! No!" You gasped, gripping the rusted fence before you were yanked down.

"You went to easy on me this time, girlie." Eddie laughed, strong arms wrapping around you, holding you tight against his chest. You squirmed, boots stomping onto the ground. "I didn't even have to saddle up this time."

"That's not fair!" You whined, boot stomping onto the ground. You knew you sounded childish, whiny and bratty. You also knew Eddie liked that. Judging by the growing bulge pressing into your ass, he liked it a lot.

"I fell, Ed, that doesn't count! Do a re-do!" You huffed, wiggling in his arms.

"Oh, sweet girl, you know the rules." Eddie cooed, wrenching you around in his grasp so his nose brushed yours. Even in the dark of the night, you could see how blown his pupils were.

"But I fell." You pouted, eyes rounding helplessly up at him. "That doesn't count."

Eddie hummed, dark and teasing. "I think you and I both know, it does count." He growled. Your thighs twitched. "Now, you gonna be a sore loser? Do I need to rope ya and take you back to the house?"

You huffed, one that sounded similar to Medusa's from before. Eddie grinned, you two were spending too much time together. "No." You grumbled. "You're being mean, Eddie. You know I tripped."

"I know." Eddie cooed, taunting and babying. "That's why I'll go easy on you tonight. I won't be a gloatin' winner, I promise." He patted your ass gently, a chilling foreshadowing of what was to come.

Your lip jutted, the moon illuminating the pout in the moonlight. Eddie's heart lurched in his chest, stirring and swimming with excitement. "If ya wanted to play so badly, you coulda just asked, sweet girl." He grinned triumphantly at you.

You rolled your eyes, heavy and surly. If you lost already, you might as well act how you wanted. Eddie liked it when you'd get a little pouty, his grin spreading wider and wider on his face. Your boots stomped on the ground, arms crossed over your chest, while Eddie's arm slid around your waist, pulling you into his hip.

You took your losing like the true team player you were. The last thing you wanted was for Eddie to deem you were a sore loser.

"Look at you." Eddie cooed, standing back to admire his handiwork. Dimples that grew, carved deeper and deeper into that dark stubble, tongue poking out in satisfaction. "Pretty as a picture, ain't ya, baby?"

You didn't reply, wiggling your hips gently instead. Eddie had you hands tied, roped up in a soft rope that left your arms folded behind your back, wrist to elbow in that tight, black rope. Your legs were spread, each one tied to a different bed post, ass high in the air with the throw pillows- throw pillows you'd bought to make the place more homey.

Eddie's calloused hand ran over your thigh, skating over the naked flesh with a low growl. "Mmm, can't wait to play with my prize." He muttered. "Always such a lovely prize, ain't ya? Pretty and sweet and so obedient."

You whined, pulsing at your core. He always made a big show of tying you up, sensual teasing that had you mewling and squirming in his touch.

"Please, Ed, you said you weren't gonna be mean." You pouted, lip jutting when you looked up at him. Your face smushed against the mattress, hair braided back to keep it from falling. Eddie had gently braided it back, just a simple three piece weaving braid to keep your hair out of your eyes- he knew how much you hated it.

"'M not, baby. You just look so pretty. Can't help it." Eddie grinned, pinching your cheek gently.

"I'm tempted to just dive right in." Eddie wondered out loud, leaving you shaking in his wake. "But I think you and I both know the prize I want tonight."

You huffed, hiding your face. Of course, he'd want to fuck your ass. He always did, always slipping a pinky in when he was fucking you from behind. You only let him fuck your ass every now and then, it always left you a little sore the next day, but it was well worth it- you just didn't let him know that.

"That sound alright with you, baby?" Eddie asked, a hand gently running down your spine. His voice sounded genuine, eyes furrowing lightly. "We don't hafta if you're not feelin' it-"

"No, it's alright." You sighed heavily, eyes batting up at him. "But will you untie me if you're gonna do that."

Eddie smiled, nodding at you. "I will, honey. I know how you like it."

Heat rushed to your cheeks, blazing over your chest and neck. You were thankful your were face down, hoping he couldn't see how flustered he made you.

Eddie knelt down between your parted legs, string hands gripping your cheeks, pulling them apart. His mouth salivated at the sight, puffy lips and a perfect puckered hole, he was dying to taste.

"You'll let me know if it's too much?" Eddie asked lowly, his thumb circling your hole gently, making your toes clench and curl at the sensation.

"Yes." You whimpered, eyes squeezing tight. "I will, Ed."

"Good." Eddie grinned. He gave you a firm slap to the fatty flesh of your ass, lips rolling at the recoil. "Saddle up, baby. We're in for a long night."

***

"Fuck, look at you," Eddie grunted, hips snapping against the plushness of your ass, your hips lurching with every powerful thrust into you. "Feel good?"

Eddie could feel his knee touching the sopping towel beneath him, soaked with your release and the runny lube he'd squirted into your tightest hole. He'd worked you open with his tongue, as much as he could, until he pulled the lube out of his bedside.

You hadn't expected him to work your ass open while he fucked your sopping, aching pussy, but he'd surprised you- he always did. Pulling you up onto your hands and knees, burying himself balls deep inside of your cunt, filling you so deeply until he was jabbing that sensitive spot deep inside you that had your brain numbing with every deep stroke.

His fingers pumped further and further inside your tightest hole, stretching you open, getting you ready for his cock. "Oh!" You gasped, back arching further into his strokes, his fingers disappearing further inside of you.

"Fuck, Ed, right there! Right there!" You panted, eyes rolling back into the sockets. You felt full, so fucking full. Your legs shook, wobbly and unsteady with every furious stroke he gave you.

"Feel good?" Eddie grunted, snapping his hips so they were flush against you. "You- mmm, fuck- You feel good, darlin'. S'good. Makin' me feel like a real winner, ya know that? Always a fuckin' winner with you, baby. My best prize." He mumbled, rambling incoherently, his own ecstasy clouding his mind.

You let your head fall onto the mattress, another wave of pleasure leaving you clenching, abs sore from the constant tightening of the muscles, quivering and whimpering. Eddie slowed down, long and slow thrusts of his hips, his two fingers sinking deeper into your ass.

"I think- think you're ready f'me." Eddie's chest heaved, heart beat fluttering and pounding in his chest. "You think you're ready f'me, baby?"

You nodded, the white sound static filling your ears, too far removed in yourself but coherent enough to nod. "Baby, can you hear me?" Eddie asked, pulling out of you. You shivered at the loss, that full feeling leaving your gasping at its absence. "Can you look at me, honey?" Eddie cooed gently, hand rubbing down your back, slippery with silky lube.

You turned, eyes blinking through bleary vision to look at him. Eddie tilted his head to the side, grinning lightly at you. "You feel alright?" He asked. "Needa stop?"

You shook your head, rolling over so you laid on your back, chest rising and falling sharply, covered in a shining sheen of sweat. "'M alright, Ed. I just need to lay like this." You muttered, reaching out for him. "I wanna see ya."

Eddie grinned. "Yeah? You just needed to see me, hm? I just needed to see you too, pretty girl. Love lookin' at ya." He muttered, his lips hovering over yours, strong, inked arms caging you before his lips pressed to yours.

You felt your heart burst, the familiar racing heat that left you gooey with adoration oozing out of your chest, hands running through those sticky curls. Eddie moved himself between your legs easily, angry cock rutting against your hot, sticky core. His thumb lazily rubbing over your clit, tongue slipping past your teeth, exploring every square inch of your mouth in a lewd, sloppy kiss.

"Mmm, be gentle, Ed." You muttered, hips clenching with the harsh rub of his thumb over your aching clit. "Be careful. 'M sensitive."

"I'm sorry, baby doll." Eddie tutted, his lips still lingering over yours, stubbled cheeks rubbing your face raw. "I'll be gentle. You ready for me?"

You nodded, lashes fluttering open to meet his, taking in his dark grin, excitement flaring behind those chocolate eyes. Oh, it had you throbbing, the thrill of pleasing him in such a way- having him return that pleasure back to you. You loved Eddie, you really fucking did. You'd never let anyone else do this to you- they couldn't get you like this even of they fucking tried.

You could feel the angry, leaking head of his cock positioned at your tight hole, one arm flexing by your head, holding himself up. The other pumping his shaft, lining himself up with you.

"You let me know if it hurts, alright?" Eddie's gaze lifted to yours, dark pupils hidden by long, thick lashes, fluttering to catch your gaze.

You clenched involuntarily. "Yeah, I will." You muttered, your hands reaching out to rub his inked arms, down the protruding veins that always left you throbbing. You loved watching him work out in the fields, the way his arms would flex strong and sturdy, just for you.

Eddie grinned, tongue poking out, caught between his lips while he focused, pushing the head in gently. "Open up for me, honey. 'Lil bit wider- there ya go." He groaned, patting your thigh gently.

He shimmied in, slow and calculated, eyes moving from your tight hold sucking him in, to your face, watching to make sure you were ok. "Feel alright? Relax f'me, darlin'." Eddie bit back a moan, primal and deep in his throat.

"Feels good, Ed. S'good." You whined, hands closing in a fist around the sheet, tipping your head back into the soft quilt.

Eddie rocked himself until he was full, stuffed into you, thumb circling your clit while he thrusted slowly. He wouldn't pout you out like this yet, it was still too new to you. He was proud of you, taking him fully, weeks of training paid off. He had no problem letting you know that.

"You're so good t'me. Too good, ain't ya, baby?" Eddie grunted, hips swirling and rolling, hands under your thighs, pressing them to your chest. "My perfect little baby aren't ya? Takin' Daddy's cock s'good."

"I am. I am takin' it so good. Feels so good, Daddy." You babbled back, the combo of his thumb and cock making your mind fuzz like TV static, blanking your thoughts, leaving your breathless.

Eddie's face fell into the crook of your neck, desperately trying to hide the whiney moans and whimpers he was always so scared of letting you hear. You'd melt every time you heard them, had no problem telling Eddie that, but he'd just blush and shake his head. He was too embarrassed to grunt and moan in your ear like you did to him. In time, you told yourself, you'd get him to do it.

Eddie's shaft squeezed tightly, strangled by your puckered hole in the most delicious way. Gliding in and out of you, his fingers lazily rubbing your clit while you clawed at his shoulder, lips puckering to press to his.

"Fuck, that feel ok? Still feel good?" Eddie asked, breath caught in his throat, lips brushing against yours.

"Yes, feels so good." You whimpered, brow creasing when you closed your eyes. "'M gonna cum, Ed, keep doin' that please."

"You close? Shit, me too, baby. S'close. Feels so fucking good." Eddie's voice wobbled with pleasure, a small whimper in your ear mixed with his steady rhythm sent you over the edge, crashing into waves of your own pleasure.

Eddie followed shortly after, your clamping and spasming orgasm leaving his cock sputtering deep inside of you. Wave after wave of release dumping into your ass, oozing out that milky release when he pulled out, inked chest heaving and watching the puddle beneath you form on the soaked towel.

You still held your thighs, lazily letting your hand slip around your knee caps, eyes glossed and dazed. Even in your fucked out state, you gave him a sloppy grin. "Pretty good prize, don't ya think?" You muttered, blinking heavily up at him.

Eddie felt his heart flutter, his own grin wide and dopey when he looked down at you. It was a good prize, you were a good prize. The best prize, really, Eddie decided.

[thecameronchronicles]

Poolside

TW: Trophy!Wife Reader. Smut. Language. Cheating. 

SUMMARY: JJ mends your broken heart with a sultry distraction…

WORD COUNT: 2400

REQUESTED

Trophy wife!reader sad about her husband cheating on her and Pool boy!JJ makes her feel better 

Poolside 

You blamed yourself as you couldn't help but compare yourself to her. No more a friend than a stranger, the girl who coveted your side of the bed with your husband's arm wrapped around her was an acquaintance you saw in passing. She was a candidate for an assistant he claimed to need as you trusted him enough to ignore the fact they were all the same styled girl. 

Youthful. Impressionable. A minimum of a 34DD bra size and an apparent predilection for holding the attention of a married man. Because of this, the tears continued to cascade no matter your attempts to cease them. Even as you found anger to win over guilt or blame, you would always end up returned to such waterworks wondering why it was he chose her. 

After the life made together. The memories. The obstacles you believe you had overcome. All thrown to the wind for a girl unworthy of the smile she gave once leaving with the gall to kiss his cheek and flash a smile in your direction. 

"You 'lright Mrs-" Even the sound of a title you once basked to hold would only worsen your tears. Even when spoken by the honeyed tone of your handsome pool boy. The one you hired a few weeks prior from a forbidden curiosity you could fantasize about while standing within the safety of your kitchen. Every perfectly etched detail of his body responsible for such illicit visions that sent your thighs to press together with need. 

"Are you hurt?" He asked to the way you held your arms across your chest. 

"Can I ask you something?" You were unhinged in remaining demure. Always an accompaniment to your husband's arm, you rarely spoke your mind as it was often responded with silence or a judgemental look. But the question in your mind that played in a bitter repetition kept you from remaining silent for another moment. 

"Sure…" he shrugged, half focused on your delay and more on not directing his attention to the way your body peeked beneath the suit exposed by a draped cover. 

"Am I too old?" He scoffed. 

"What?!" The question caught him off guard as he laughed. 

"I mean…Do I…am I look attractive?" He fumbled to speak as his eyes darted in every other direction. Not a moment in which he could look at you without being more than honest. 

"JJ?"

"I really don't think I should say…" 

"Well considering the fact that I just found some girl maybe just out of high school with her legs around my husband's shoulders, I would consider it a favor if you were just honest with me. I can take it…" He paused, placing the pieces together before looking at the interior of the house. 

His own fantasy having come to life by your question as the possibility presented itself to him. Your husband was absent, and even if he wasn't, he didn't mind as much as he may have to keep this job in knowing such pain was brought to you. If not for the way he was uncertain, he would have made it his personal mission until you forgot of anybody but him. But he also found the presence of your smile to highlight his day. And due that and the fear of losing that, he remained as honest as he could without risking that. 

"You're a knockout and he's an idiot. Most Kooks are, always taking what they have for granted. I mean, personally, if it were me, I'd-" He stopped himself, the way you looked at him made him silent. 

"You'd…".

"I really shouldn't have said that…"

"Please…I want to know." He hesitated before meeting your eyes. 

"If it were me, I'd never let you leave that bedroom." His eyes fell to your lips as if to ask the silent question of risk you were desperate to make. But when neither of you ventured to move to it, he would be the one to retreat. 

"Sorry…I uh…I have your filter to check and the ph to-" You watched him fumble over himself. The usual arrogance of most "Kooks" resulting in a roll of your eyes. But his refreshing groundation made you close the distance between you. 

"Um…Mrs-"

"For right now, I'm nobody but yours, JJ…" You interrupted your own kiss as he allowed you to take the lead. Even if you knew little about him, you knew enough to know this would be worth the deception. 

"Touch me…" 

"I don't need directions, sweetheart…" he spoke softly with the slightest hint of dominance as he guided you flat to the angled lounge chair you had governed during your distressed breakdown. Yet he wasn't selfish or gluttonous. Instead, he was tender, pulling your recently stationary legs around his hips before he angled you onto your back. 

"I mean it. He's a fucking idiot…But I'm glad. Because I'm gonna make you feel things he couldn't even dream of…" His lips possessed your own as his hands worked carefully to undress you. A singular knot at the back of your neck was pulled loose as your breasts were exposed to him. Warm calloused hands took hold of one with expert fondling before moving to the other. When certain you approved, he lowered his mouth to the one closest to him.

"Do you like this?"

"Yes…" You fought a moan as he smirked against you. Your hands running softly through his hair before tugging as he captured your nipple between his teeth. 

"You sure you want to do this here? There's a perfect pool house with a nice bed we could break-"

"Here…please…" 

"You don't have to beg…" he lifted his hand to your cheek. 

"But you do make it sound so damn pretty for me, princess." You adored the way he focused on you. Never leaving a question if you were who he thought of as he kissed you. Not a moment of distraction as you noted from your husband. 

"Please…" He nipped at your jaw to your pleas before your fingers set at his hips. The dry trunks easy to maneuver before he lowered enough to keep himself out of reach. 

"You said that he had her legs over his shoulders?" The question made you scowl yet nod as you answered him. 

"Only fair you get the same." He untied the bows made at either hip of your bikini and you were left completely vulnerable to him. Yet somehow safe as he lowered between your thighs. 

"I want to know something first…and I want you to be honest with me…" he kissed your thigh before asking his question once you nodded. 

"He ever made you come?"

You hesitated, certain he must have at one point. But the wedding night he was too drunk. The honeymoon he was too busy. And every time since he had been distracted. Your only means of pleasure having come from your own fantasies and the trusty vibrator gifted by your maid of honor. 

"It's okay, sweetheart. I'll more than make up for it." He kisses you once at your core. Yet once was enough to send your back into an arch and your fingers through his hair in a pull. 

"I like it…" he acknowledged as you lessened your grip. "Let's me know you want it."

"I do…" you confessed as he spread your thighs wider to expose you to him. 

"Then let me hear it, darling." The sound of his tongue and the dictions made behind his grin made his order impossible to deny. His name accompanied by moans motivated him even deeper before he altered his angle. Two fingers to his mouth and eyes set to you pulled his fingers between your lower lips. 

"He ever make you this wet? Honest, princess." 

"No-" You rasped. 

"Good…he doesn't deserve to…" He kissed softly at your clit before savoring the small bud. He sucked and licked in alterations as his fingers worked you into a tremble. Your eyes, unable to remain open until he offered himself a reprieve to learn your reaction to him. But as he expected you to ask for more or even wait for him to act, you directed him to sit on the edge of the lounge chair. 

"Mrs-" Before your name could be uttered, you had undressed and revealed him to you, his cock spring to life from hr freedom your fingers allowed. A single spray of spit lubricating him enough to rub him into initial pleasure as you twisted that grip before beginning your oral fixation to his head. 

Due to his impressive cock, you began slowly, focusing on livening every nerve and vein on his shaft before your nose brushed his skin. The gag made from your throat worrying him to pull you back by your cheeks. 

"You don't have to…"

"Am I doing something wrong?" 

"I'm about two sucks from coming…" he teased. 

"But I want more…" You explained with sultry eyes narrowing into a siren's existence as he grinned widely before his lips fell limp. Exhausted and shallow breaths came from his attempt to subdue his release and lengthen his stamina. His body tightening as you cupped the weight beneath him. 

"Jesus!" 

"Mmm…mmm…mmmmmmm…" You moaned with the intent to use the vibrations to strengthen those sensations as he raised his hips into your grin until he'd brought himself to that edge. 

"Stand up…" he commanded in an unsteady display of his own desperation before aligning you to stand over him. The second you were reliant on his weight, he adjusted the chair until it was flat. 

"I want to watch you…" 

"Then watch me, JJ…" His back arched and his eyes rolled as you rode over him. His cock almost too much for you to enjoy without being anxious, but his facial contortions of pleasure offering you the confidence you questioned otherwise. 

"Fuck, sweetheart…You feel so damn good…"

"I want you to come inside me, JJ…" His eyes widened. 

"I don't-I don't have a condom." You lowered over him as his hands fell from your breasts and to your hips. 

"IUD, you're good…"

"You sure?" 

"Positive…" But as he read your conviction behind your smile and blissed expression, he sat up. 

" Not like this…" Your eyes sharpened into worry of rejection. 

"I need to feel all of you." He lifted you around him and into the pool house. You weren't able to make it to the bedroom as you were taken over the arm of the couch. 

"Asshole doesn't deserve to hear you come. Or see it on any of his little cameras." You blushed as you'd forgotten about it until now. 

"You're all mine now, sweetheart. Just like you said." You nodded. 

"Yours." He swiped a hand across your ass to the agreement. 

"Again, princess. I only come in what's mine."

"Yours, JJ. I'm yours…" You whined as he nodded. 

"Good girl…" He sunk into you with conviction. But not for his own benefit. He was slow and thorough as he pulled you to his lips. 

"You deserve to be touched like this…" His hand fell to your breast as another surprised you at your clit. 

"To come hard. And often." He quickened both sets of hands. 

"And you will do both. With me." You rested your head against his shoulder as he picked up his pace. Unbridled passion behind each snap of his hips as you were taken against him and kept upright by his sting arms flexed to keep you in place. 

"Yes! JJ!" You gasped. 

"You gonna come for me, princess?"

"Yes!"

"Then come. Don't hold back. You deserve to feel-" Before he could finish his endorsement, you were cascading down his shaft and clenching around him in validation of your release. But then he threatened to stop, withdrawing as your hands wrapped around his hips. 

"I want you to come, JJ…"

"It'll be too much."

"I can handle it…" you turned to tease his lips. "Please…" His jaw tensed for only a second before he brought you over his lap. 

"A few more for me, sweetheart? I want it to last…" you took charge of the position he set you in as you took him back into your mouth. Only now, it was with his sole pleasure in mind. But a finger to your sex from your raised hips would counter this. 

"JJ…It's your turn…" 

"Making you come makes me want to…Keep going for me…" He used his second hand to make a ponytail from your hair as you were able to bob effortlessly around him. 

"That's my girl…shit!" He gasped, his fingers inside of you quickening as you trembled over him. Your pace breaking to a coming orgasm as he winced to the sound you made around his cock.

"Come ride me baby…" You moved swiftly and effectively as you pegged yourself onto his shaft. Quick motions made of new thrusts as your fingers ate into the fabric of the couch behind his head. 

"JJ! You feel so good!"

"Fuck!" He relaxed as you slipped over him. His fingers at once with each cheek making up your perfect ass. 

"You're so fucking beautiful…he doesn't deserve you…" his words accompanied your moans as you became lost in the sensations of his thick fulfillment. 

"I'm gonna come…" He set your forehead to his as you came apart within. Every control lost as he became submissive for that moment you claimed him as he had done for you. 

"Did I mention your husband's an idiot?" He explained as you nodded. Your eyes coming to the ring on your hand. JJ noticed the way it brought you sadness and he pulled your hand to his lips. The ring disappearing behind his teeth and a naked hand left behind. 

"I think your hand would look a bit better…" He directed your hand to his cock. "Here…" 

"You want more?" 

"I've wanted this a while, princess. Got one more fantasy to play out."

"Yeah? What's that?" 

"Making sure he knows what he lost…" he motioned to the camera set in perfect view of you as you were no longer the sad woman an hour prior. You were no longer chaste or shy as JJ altered both of those feelings for you. Instead, you were motivated and carnal. Wanting to please him and only him. 

And you would spend the rest of the day returning the favor, understanding why your husband optioned for the younger version as you decided if he could have his vices then you would have yours as well….

TAGLIST: @hopebaker @drewspisces @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4tangerine @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @camilynn @sweetestdesire @onmykneesforrafe @jjmaybanksangel @phildunphyisadilf @mashdan0916 @pankhoeforlife @pankowperfection

MASTERLIST

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[tuliptired]

Can you do one with Phoebe coming out to her family?

Cool Girl, Totally Untouchable (Ch 3/3!)

Pairing: Phoebe Spengler/ Melody

holy hell I loved writing this. Ty for your support!

read on Ao3 for better formatting and a better note!

The curtains were pulled in to block out any excess light, as per Melody’s request. Phoebe recoiled at the sight of fake blood, another innocent college student killed by the masked murderer in the mid-budget movie. They were huddled together on her bed, Melody on her stomach as she watched the film on the last laptop in New York that still had a DVD slot, let alone an attachment for cassettes.

Phoebe was comfortable, if not a little warm. She didn’t pay much attention to the sounds of death emanating from her computer, but rather the girl next to her. Melody had been to the firehouse at least twice a week for a while now- she had a few t-shirts and shorts to prove it. Phoebe’s eyes drifted over to the drawer they resided in, sectioned off so they didn’t get confused with her own. Her mom had suggested it offhandedly- Phoebe didn’t really care, standing over the open wardrobe wondering if she should wait for the dryer cycle to finish or just throw on Melody’s well loved concert memorabilia. She slept in her own pajamas that night, restlessly.

Her attention snaps back to the screen, as the scene changes for gore and guts to a room full of women changing. She can feel her blood pool in her cheeks as she rushes to turn the volume down, voice shaky.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, heart beat still fast at the sudden promiscuity, “these were in a stack from Ray’s basement.” Her voice grew quiet. Thankfully it wasn’t crazy explicit, her distaste for the now 70-something year old man left to a minimum. He was a geek in the 80’s, the gaudy nature of the sci-fi in the movie telling enough, but he was also a dude in the 80’s. She shuddered at the thought.

“I don’t mind.” Melody’s voice stopped her hovering finger from pressing down the “skip button”. She leaned back cautiously, letting the video play out. Melody really didn’t mind, expression intrigued as her head lay in her crossed arms.

Phoebe let out a breath, even more thankful that the scene was more dialogue than action. She followed the blonde in the pink top. Her hair was nice, that’s all. Cut short at her ears, eyes blue and eyelashes thoroughly curled. This must’ve been what they meant by “bombshell”.

“Think she’s cute?” Melody pointed to the woman, the question making Phoebe jump a little. Hm.

She didn’t really have an answer. She was definitely attractive, there was no denying that. If she was a boy, she’d date her.

“I dunno,” her voice was a little dumber than it usually was, to her at least. Not feeling like that was significant enough, she spoke up again. “If I was a boy, maybe.” Melody snorted.

She sat up on her arms then, examining the screen a little harder. “She’s nice. I like the brunette more, though.” It occurred to Phoebe that the blonde wasn’t the only woman on screen, and there in fact was a brunette, in the corner with a book in her lap, the only one with practical sleeping clothes on. It was weird, hearing a girl call another “nice” like a boy would.

She felt awkward, not responding. “She’s okay.” Phoebe hugged her knees closer to her chest.

“Okaaaay.” Melody suddenly leaned forward, rewinding the video, before stopping at a scene like the female-dominated one, except for it being a group of the male leads in a gym locker room. “What about them?”

Phoebe was thoroughly confused. Boys in a locker room. So what?

“What about them?”

“If you had to pick one. Which would you pick?”

She shrugged, brows creased slightly. They all looked the same. Guy with blond hair, guy with brown hair, guy with orange hair. “If I had to pick?”

“New question. If you had to pick between a girl and a boy.” Melody was invested in her experiment, as Phoebe grappled for a hold on the question. 

She was speechless. Melody posed a third question, fully sitting up like Phoebe was. “Do you like any of them?” There was a slight edge to her voice that she could see the girl cringe at.

“The blond guy is stupid, and his friends are dumber,” she confessed, not sure what it said about her. “The girl’s are smarter. Julie didn’t let Amy and Bethany go into the woods alone, because she knew they’d get caught by the killer.” Melody’s gaze and silence felt like a guillotine.

“Have you ever liked a boy?” The girl asked innocently as she messed with a loose thread on Phoebe’s comforter. 

She couldn’t remember a time in her recent memory where she liked anyone, not like she was supposed to. It was never that important to her, really. It was just the moments when her mom would call her a “late-bloomer” that it started to hurt. So, she resolved to run a test with Podcast while at a street fair before he went back to Summerville, as the weather cooled and the season transitioned to fall. She did all the cliche’s, complaining about the weather to get his jacket, sharing food. She didn’t feel anything, other than her friend’s coat around her shoulders and powdered sugar sticking to her fingers as he passed her a piece of funnel cake. 

She attempted holding his hand as they walked through the crowd. But, for the first time that evening, it felt worse than nothing, it felt wrong. She couldn’t pinpoint it- and she’s sure that on a regular day she would be fine with his hand in her’s, but she wasn’t right. She felt bad as she let it drop, but since then he’s never mentioned it. So they moved on, and she was eternally grateful that he’d played an unknowing, unprotesting participant in her study.

“I guess not.” Now it was her turn to mess with the loose fibers of her bedding. Jeez, this would need to be replaced soon. She turned her head, hesitantly but still curious. “Have you?”

Melody shrugged. “Sure. Alex Thompson.” Phoebe’s fist’s clench out their own conviction, jaw tightening a little. Fuck you, Alex. 

“Cool.” 

Melody hit her once on the shoulder, laughing prankishly. “Relax,” she teased, “we were in kindergarten.” Phoebe calmed a bit at that. Still, fuck you Alex. 

She remembered the laptop, the movie catching up to a part with only the female lead. “Have you? Liked…girls?”

Melody looked at her like the answer was obvious. “Of course.”

Oh. Phoebe nodded. “Both.” 

“Both.”

Phoebe felt the bed get lighter, as a loud thud hit the wooden flooring. Melody was on the ground, hands over her face.

“Oh my god, Phebes. You’re so gay.” The word felt like a projectile to the back of her head.

“I’m…” She didn’t have the words. “Plenty of…girls. Don’t like guys.”

“What do you think that’s called?” Stalemate. “Have you seriously never given it any thought?”

“I didn’t think it was important,” Phoebe’s voice raised, unintentionally, defensively. 

Melody sat up from the floor, eyes gentle and benevolent. “It’s not.” Her words soothed Phoebe’s bout of anxiousness. “It’s not.”

“Okay. Okay, I’m- I…like. Girls.” Melody applauded her from her spot on the ground. 

“Kudos.”

She shifted on the bed. It felt like there was a weight lifted off of her, which was quickly replaced with a new one. “This is so unceremonious.” Melody was next to her again. She moved fast, almost reminding Phoebe of a spirit. Almost.

“You’re not very ‘ceremonious’ yourself.”

“Ha. Ha.”

“How would you want it to happen? The realization?” Melody wiggled her fingers in the air, mystifying the hypothetical.

“I’m not sure.” In your arms, she so desperately wanted to say, against your lips. 

“But. Calling it. Gay. Feels so…official. I’d have to…come out? Right?” 

Melody shrugged, thinking about it. “Not if you don’t want to. You could surprise them like I did, call Jessica Rabbit hot.”

“I think I’d rather just tell them.”

The girl beside her rested her head against Phoebe’s. “Whatever you do, I’m proud of you. Be you, Phebes.” 

“Thanks.” I’m a better me when you’re around.

Her bedroom door opened, just mom. Still, both girls separated as the door opened a crack.

“Melody, your mom called. She wants you home.” 

“No fun. She never wants me home this early. Thanks for having me, Ms. Spengler.” She gives Phoebe’s hand a discreet squeeze before she rises, present to none but the two of them. “Bye, Phebes.”

“I can walk you home,” Phoebe starts, eager to see her go. Callie cuts her off.

“Gary’s got it, he’s in the car,” she held the door open. Phoebe deflated a little. “Goodnight, Melody.” As she went down the garage, the mother and daughter caught the beginning of a conversation about her Bikini Kill tote bag. The car doors shut, and they could hear the Ecto take off.

Her mom broke the silence. “You had fun?” She picks up the room a little, stealing a glimpse of the clunky computer as Phoebe moves to shut it. 

“SoCal Killer.” She instantly recognizes the movie. Great.

“Yeah.”

Phoebe liked girls. Okay, great. She went to bed earlier than usual, staring out her window as she tried sleeping above the sheets. Again, unceremonious. She’d wake up the next morning, brushing her teeth as she recalled her revelation. Cool. She’d make herself breakfast, shower, get dressed- nothing felt that different. She needed another variable.

“Trevor.” His head snapped up from whatever hunk of metal and gears he was messing with. He was catching up to her this summer. She’d get back into engineering at a later time.

“What’s up?” She was wrong- it was just a lego set. That he was doing in bed.

Phoebe stilled in the doorway. “You’re dating Lucky, right?” He looks around, mouth opening and closing like a fish.

“I mean, I wouldn’t say dating. Not unless she said we were. Boy friends and girl friends don’t have to da-”

“Cool, whatever. Was her being a girl an important factor for you?”

Pure silence. “That’s a loaded question.”

“Answer. Please.”

He put down the separator he had in his hands, pondering it. “I…noticed it. But if I felt the way I do now about her, and she was a guy, there’s not much I can do to change that? I’m not sure I have what you’re looking for.” Interesting. She thanked him as she shut the door.

“Did she say we were dating?” 

More data. She liked girls, and there wasn’t anything she could do about it. Just like Trevor couldn’t do anything about liking girls. Just like her mom couldn’t do anything about liking boys. She watched cars pass below, head against the cold glass of the window. What if she did want to come out? Trevor and Gary didn’t have hateful bones in their bodies. Dr. Stantz, Dr. Venkman, Dr. Zeddemore…she wouldn’t be surprised if they got a little experimental in the 70’s, so she puts them at the point of least concern. Her mom. She was reared Jewish, inherited from the father who didn’t raise her in addition to the mother who did. She was more agnostic, in her own way. She was mitzvah’d, and fulfilled Trevor’s request for one after casual Sunday schooling, but it never went farther than that. God lived in her, rather than out. Could she find God in her daughter, after being able to find it in a stack of old photographs? Could she find God in her daughter, after abandoning It in college?

Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts. Time passed, and she promised Podcast she’d hang out after returning Dr. Stantz’s collection. As she stepped into the kitchen to grab a water bottle, she ran into Gary, pulling a tray of colorful cookies out the oven. Rainbow cookies.

“Hey.”

“Hi.” She watched on as he added them to a collection of dozens of other rainbow frosted pastries. 

“D’you want? They’re still warm.” He started to peel them off the baking pan with a spatula, not breaking eye contact with her.

“I figured. No, thank you.” She grabbed a water, slowly, retreating to the garage as she felt his eyes burn into the back of her head. Weird.

She enjoyed her time with her friend, but it was time to go home eventually. The only problem was, a random downpour kept her from being able to walk home. Thankfully, Trevor pulled up in front of Ray’s store, willing to drive her.

“Thanks,” she sighed as she sat down, rain clinging to her hair in the short time it took for her to run out to the Ecto.

Trevor nodded to her in the rear view. “Uh-huh.” They drove in relative silence, Trevor driving (obviously) as Phoebe started on a new book Ray had let her take home. A cough cleared the air.

“So.” Trevor glanced back at her. “Music?”

“It’s a 5 minute drive.” He connected his phone to the aux anyway. He fumbled with his playlists, already disobeying traffic laws when his guardians weren’t present.

He stopped his mix of driving and scrolling. “That one guy from the singing show mom likes- he made a new song.”

Phoebe turned a page. “That one guy.”

“Yeah. With nail polish.” A pause. “Isn't it cool that he brought his boyfriend to the awards?”

Her eyes stopped in the middle of a sentence. “Totally.” 

An even longer pause. “Want to listen?”

She cross referenced a subheading to something she read in the prologue. “I don’t think I’d like it, but you can if you want to.” In their long stint of being siblings, they both knew that it was code for “I don’t, but I’ll do it if it makes you happy.” Trevor’s previous attitude fell as he put his phone down, focusing on the road again. Weirder.

She reached home, a little tired and ready to sit in bed with her new literature. As she climbed the stairs, her mom was in their makeshift living area-laboratory, in front of their little box TV. There was a grainy, colorful video playing, as her mother stretched on the floor in a t-shirt and sweatpants.

“Hey, Phebes,” her voice was brighter than usual. “I was looking for an old movie in dad’s stuff, guess I found this instead.” She gestured to the TV as she pulled her arm across her body. A few women posed, stretching themselves in tight leotards, over tighter leggings. “Fonda. Fun to do on an ugly day like today- wanna join?”

Phoebe looked at the case on the couch, a happy woman on the front flexing her leg and hip muscles, dressed in 80’s workout attire. She looked back to her mom.

“Why did grandpa own Jane Fonda workout tapes?”

She took refuge in her room, finally. She tried calling Melody, but she didn’t get any response. That’s fine, it was around the time she was working, anyway. Still, the phone was kept by her pillow, just in case. She could make decisions on her own. If her family wants to be weird, she can be even weirder. It was time to tell them. It was admittedly a little scary, going into it with no coaching. It was terrifying, actually, no matter what she told herself. But, if she didn’t have to care about not liking girls before, she shouldn’t have to care about liking them now.

Her mom called her out for dinner. Paella. A very gay food. As they sat around the table and ate, Phoebe found her nerves ridiculous. Like a kid ready to drink their cough syrup, she dropped her fork.

“I have something to tell you.” Simple. To the point. All 6 eyes were on her, as she was given their undivided attention. Slightly scarier, now.

“I…” she could feel her breath and heart picking up on how scary it all was. She folded her hands, to keep herself grounded to what she had to say. “I like girls.”

No yelling. No hitting. No tears. No verses, from the Torah or otherwise. Not even a judgmental glance. But this felt worse.

“Oh, thank god.”

“Huh?” Phoebe never “huh’d”.

“We were scared you were homophobic.” Mom looked genuinely relieved.

“What-”

“You wear combat boots. Everywhere. You go to the barber. If that’s not gay, it’s something.”

“That makes me feel a lot better, thank you,” she unfolded her hands to defend herself sarcastically.

“Congrats. On being gay.” Trevor added his two cents.

“Unbelievable.”

“No, we’re so proud of you,” Callie took Phoebe’s hands in her own. “Because you told us, and you’re not a little bigot.”

Phoebe slumped over, embracing her mother’s touch. “What made you think I was…’

Gary reached over to the counter, a tupperware full of cookies in his hands. He still looked disappointed at her refusal. “You didn’t want a single pride cookie.”

Trevor nodded exasperatedly. “Didn’t wanna hear indie pop.”

Phoebe couldn’t get a word out before her mom cut in. “You didn’t even look twice at Jane Fonda. I thought you were an extremist.”

Her head hit the table. “Okay, okay. I’m not.” She could feel a rainbow cookie being placed on her plate beside her. A chair scraped against the floor, then two, then three. She could feel the arms of her family being wrapped around her shoulders.

“We love you so much, Phoebe. And she does, too.”

That hit her like a truck. It made things more complicated. Again, she was in her room, at the foot of her bed. She had a song playing, an artist that Melody enthusiastically recommended to her. As the song climaxed, she could hear the glass in her mind shattering. If she liked this girl, she actually had to tell her. Phoebe knew she loved Melody, that wasn’t the issue. In fact, she knew she wanted to hold hands with her, to share clothes, to let herself be lazy with her. All the things they did before. Just with a meaning, a name.

But to tell her? Painstaking. An extra layer of clarity lost like skin on her metaphorical wound. She’d laugh, call her adorable. Phoebe would watch on as Melody ripped out her heart and ate it whole. 

Or. She’d give her the same smile she fell in love with some time ago. She’d take her hands, Phoebe’s damp ones in her perfect, soft ones. She’d say words that Phoebe’d be too nervous to listen to, she’ll tease her about it for years. And they’d kiss. Electricity, or ghost magic would envelope them. The rest of the world, physical and spiritual, would avert their eyes, and they’d kiss. 

“I’m going. Out.” She stood behind the threshold of their bedroom as her mom folded clothes, laying them over Gary as he sat up in bed. Her hand was still on the doorknob as she looked at them, once. She normally never asked to go out, these days. Callie eventually nodded.

She let the door shut, before hearing a “good luck!” while she descended the stairs. Stepping out and out the dark of the street, she pulls her phone out.

“Hello?”

“Hey.”

“Are you busy?”

They found themselves walking inside the walls of the Paranormal Research Center, all the way in Staten Island. Both were quiet. Phoebe clenched and unclenched her fists in her pockets.

Thankfully, they were alone, and these scientists didn’t bother to power down their equipment, blue glow illuminating their way. As Phoebe showed off the different ghosts, the blue lighting on Melody’s face made her breath hitch. She was ethereal. Phoebe ran out things to say as the question loomed over her, Melody across the room and peering into a machine.

“You really love this stuff, huh?” Phoebe stopped messing with the stuff on Lars’ desk. She hoped Melody couldn’t sense her anxiety.

“I love other stuff.”

“Enough to go all the way to Staten Island and break in?”

“Yeah.”

Phoebe stood behind her. It was a simple situation, but she found herself silently pleading. Please, turn around. I need to see you.

Melody turned, then. If she was psychic, she didn’t let on.

“Boo.” That same smile. Slightly shaky hands grabbing her’s. Phoebe could feel butterflies, moths, all flying insects fluttering around her stomach as the girl she loved gazed at her the way she’d dreamed of. She placed a tense hand on Melody’s cheek, afraid that she’d turn to mist before her eyes. They stayed like that for a few moments, just taking each other in. Fate. The universe. Finding God in another person. 

“Unceremonious,” Melody teased her quietly as she moved forward, closing the gap between the pair.

Phoebe got the closest she’d ever been to feeling like a ghost in that moment, the ghastly apparitions she fought and trapped. The beautiful souls she marveled at and studied. If this was the afterlife, she wouldn’t mind spending forever like this, soul merging with the girl she was in love with.

[be-my-ally]

hi! hello! welcome!!!

I'm currently fuelling my elvis obsession by reading and writing copious amounts of fics, so uh, if you're looking for elvis smut you've come to the right place?

Basically everything I write, and a lot of what I talk about, is 18+ though so please bear that in mind + minors please do not interact!

my requests are currently paused and my masterlist with warnings + summaries can be found under the keep reading line below along with a little list of my WIPs.

Masterlist

Big Bunny (4.5 parts)

summary: playboy bunny x 1974+ elvis. Smut, angst, lots of fun in the sky.

warnings: 18+, sex (oral - p+v receiving, p in v), teeny bit of daddy kink, elvis watching reader + another bunny kiss, panic attack, video watching and making. mentions of drug usage, and Elvis' health. 1973/4-1977, bondage.

Suspicious Minds (currently 3 parts)

summary: reader x 1970 elvis & an alternative take with reader x 1961/2 elvis. What would be Elvis' reaction to you confronting him about his penchant for having multiple girls on the go/feeling the need to kiss everyone with a pulse.

warnings: 18+, oral, sex (p in v), possessive!elvis, perhaps an element of dubcon - inspired by *that* comment by priscilla, arguing as foreplay, pregnancy + mentions of infertility. 

Do You Mind? (currently 3 parts)

summary: Reader x Elvis meet cute early-mid 60s (exact year tbd); Reader is having a terrible time at a party, but so is Elvis and the night vastly improves for both of them when Reader stumbles into the room Elvis has hidden himself away in.

warnings: none, fluffy!

Empty Promises (currently 3 parts)

summary: reader x 1963(ish)-5 elvis. The beginning stages of a relationship, dating Elvis + then what can only be described as pure smut as you attempt to seduce him into taking your virginity/as he attempts to 'train you up' + 'teach ya how to take a man'.

warnings: 18+, daddy kink, spanking, thigh riding, fingering (v receiving), oral (p + v receiving), masturbation, phone sex, innocence kink/lots of discussions of virginity.

One Shots

"...Elvis has left for Graceland." reader x 1974 elvis, smut in a jumpsuit.

Wet Bikini reader x 70s elvis, fun in the pool!

The Divorce Decision reader x 70s elvis, angst with a happy ending.

The Seatbelt Sign Is On reader x 75-7 elvis, bondage - big bunny vignette.

Requests

Attention needed reader purposefully makes elvis jealous.

Let Yourself Go reader x bde, reader doesn't believe girls can orgasm - e sets out to prove you wrong.

Treat me nice a 2 for 1 of giving 1957-9 elvis, and 1971-3 elvis a blowjob.

I wouldn’t tell you no lie innocent reader's first time seeing a man, and what a man 1968-71 elvis is.

Prompt Fills

Do it again. Please. reader x 1967 elvis, on honeymoon - pure smut.

Caught in a Trap the suspicious minds alternative take (Also linked there).

Paradise: Old Army Uniform Style reader x 1964-6 elvis, who in the midst of the press surrounding his body while filming PHS tries on his old army uniform.

His Harley Girl reader x 1974 elvis, sex on a motorcycle - elvis takes reader for a ride.

Sobering Up reader x 1972/3 elvis, post-girl’s night out.

Splashing Around oc x 1957 elvis, kinda first date vibes, having fun in the summer heat in the Graceland pool.

Splashing Around (chapter 2) oc x 1957 elvis, more first date vibes - she *gets to dry his hair*

Before the Draft Notice oc x 1957 elvis, there's dealign with elvis' emotions, kissing, and a minor little fight.

Snowballs and Kisses (same universe as splashing around!) CHRISTMAS!

A Tour of The Penthouse reader x 1973 elvis, vegas one-night stand (at the moment).

Vegas Calling reader x 1975 elvis, established relationship - long distance phone call.

All Revved Up oc x 1970 elvis, established relationship, elvis is buying a new car and Laura thinks he looks good doing it.

Throw Me oc x 1974 elvis, somewhat established relationship; Olivia's been invited to Graceland for the week and Elvis takes the opportunity to teach her some moves.

Autumn Leaves Falling Down it's autumn 1972, and Elvis' girl on the side, Laura (from All Revved Up), who is no longer the girl on the side -- has come to stay at Graceland. There's the Memphian, an attempt at a trip to the morgue, and Elvis in a sweater - oh, and smut.

I Feel The Earth Move for the prompt ‘something weather related’ - elvis and reader are out for a drive in a storm & are forced to seek shelter in reader’s childhood home - sweet, fluffy smut ensues.

WIPs (in no particular order)

it’s vegas baby

I wouldn't tell you no lie #2

[endangered-aquarium-fish]

Samurai gourami (Sphaerichthys vaillanti)

Endangered

The samurai gourami is a small fish from the area of the Kapuas River in Borneo and its SO FUCKING COOL LOOK AT THEM I WANT ONE RAHHHH

They don’t actually live in the river, they’re way too cool for that-  

They live in a wonderfully bizarre habitat called a peat swamp, where pure rainwater pools over a meters-thick layer of decomposing leaves and wood fallen from the dense canopy above. The acids released as it all decays mean the pH of the water is so low (sometimes 3-4) that nothing can even decompose when it dies, and the tannic acids bond to any dissolved minerals and sink them into the soil. 

The water has the dark color and distinct scent of tea. It sits perfectly still, too dark for any plants to grow, so nearly every fish that makes its home there has to use a specialized organ called the labyrinth organ to get their oxygen from gulps of air. 

…btw, most adult fish will die within minutes in water like that - it’s nearly as acidic as pure vinegar. Samurai gouramis are literally so fucking metal… they live in the fucking Evil Death Water of Doom and theyre just. chilling. unbothered. thriving :3

The gouramis live in pairs, hidden in the tangles of submerged roots and branches and leaves. Their thin shape helps them mimic a dead leaf- and they play into that by acting like one too!! their slow, calm movement looks like they’re simply drifting peacefully through the water, even as they stalk their prey (mostly insects like mosquitoes). Also, they’re some of the biggest fish in the swamp- at a whopping 3 inches long. 

They usually form a social hierarchy where the biggest females get the best territory, food, and mates. And when they choose a mate, it gets really funky and weird :3

The males are less colorful than the females, but they have a pouch in their throat that they can extend as a display, kinda like an anole. The females lay from 10 to 40 eggs at a time before the males fertilize them and scoop them up with their mouth. It’s a lot like the toba betta, but it’s even more specialized - they keep the eggs in their throat pouch, even after they hatch 0.0 The babies spend a while growing up in there, just living in their father’s throat, and so he has to find a way to feed them…

He uses the tannic acids in the water. He absorbs them and mixes them with his own mucus, using their natural stickiness to form sort of a fishy tannin slime that he excretes into his throat like milk for the babies. They spend weeks nibbling at it until they get big enough that he can let them out to swim away. He doesn’t eat anything until they’re free. 

Overall 10/10 fish very funky does a masterful imitation of a leaf. but like if the leaf was fruity or something

They’re endangered by deforestation and pollution from illegal gold mining upstream. The efforts to protect them in the wild have failed, but not in aquariums :3

Luckily they don’t have to live in vinegar or acid rain or something. They’re okay in any soft water with a pH of 6.5 or less, which may even be how your tapwater is naturally. If not, you can gather fallen leaves, seed pods, and sticks from local trees and let those soak in your aquarium, and the tannins they release will give the fish what they need just like in the peat swamps. They really do need very soft water though, so if your water isn’t already naturally soft, this may not be the best fish for you. 

They do best in a shallow tank of at least 30 gallons, with very clean and warm water (75-82 F) and minimal flow. They don’t like bright light so add plenty of floating plants to cast shadows, and make sure the water has plenty of tannins to keep it that dark color. They can be very shy and reclusive sometimes so they really need a lot of cover to feel safe and comfortable enough to come out. It’s easy to give them that, just add lots of wood, dark caves, dead leaves, and plants to the tank. Most plants won’t do well in blackwater, but there are plenty that will - I like to use frogbit, cryptocorynes, water lilies, mosses, and some stem plants like rotala rotundifolia if you let them grow up to the surface. You can also use plants like pothos and peace lilies that like to grow with only their roots in the water - these are amazing at keeping the water clean and your gouramis will love the roots. There should be about an inch of air at the top for the fish to breathe from, and a lid to keep it humid enough so the babies’ labyrinth organs can develop properly. 

Samurai gouramis are wonderfully peaceful and harmless, so whatever you keep with them (except shrimp) is perfectly safe. The only thing you need to worry about is that the gouramis are slow and timid enough that a lot of other fish will eat all the food before they can get any- and if the other fish are aggressive at all the gouramis are done for. The best tankmates for samurai gouramis are small, slow, peaceful, and unintimidating, so I’d suggest a small school of pygmy cories or tiny rasboras like chili, kubotai, or axelrod rasboras. You could probably also keep them with similar peaceful gouramis like chocolate gouramis, licorice gouramis, or snakehead bettas. Just make sure you have plenty of other samurai gouramis (at least 6) since they need company almost as much as we do.

Breeding them is easy, just have a group and they’ll form pairs. The difference between males and females is really easy to see - the males are chocolatey brown like an old fallen leaf, and the females look like a psychedelic rainbow. They’ll all find their own spots in the tank when they decide to breed and eventually the males’ throats will be filled with eggs and they’ll become reclusive and stop eating for up to three weeks while they care for them. It’s best to move the adults into another tank temporarily for a few days after the babies are released or they could get eaten. The fry need to eat the microorganisms that grow around dead leaves, and they should be fed other tiny live foods as supplements like microworms and baby brine shrimp until they get big enough to eat what their parents eat. Even the adults are a bit picky and they prefer live foods but they can usually learn to eat protein rich prepared foods too.

Have fun with ur gouramis :3 

[firespirited]

Hi! Thank you for the detailed guides re: glue head treatment with phenoxyethanol, I managed to de-glue 6 dolls by following your instructions :)

Onto my question: is there any information out there about the type of glue in these dolls? I vaguely recall seing resin(?) based adhesive mentioned in a MLP arena post, but that could be wrong/misremembered.

I'm a chemist and I got a bit fixated on trying to figure out the mechanism behind the glue + phenoxyethanol reaction (and maybe help contribute the doll enthusiasts' knowledge pool).

As far as I know: no-ones figured it out. There was a theory that maybe this glue was a two part glue and something was missing from the equation like maybe they got the mix wrong and it was supposed to solidify fast. Something that would explain the disparity in dolls and how some have hard yellow glue that's sticky but not liquid ten years on and others were found in stores with yellow sap-like glue dripping down their necks. It doesn't react with alcohol, acetone or WD40, I use vaseline or mineral oil to remove it from my tools.

Another clue is that it doesn't smell - not even a hint of solvent in the brand new doll packaging. When i first saw the stuff my mind went to dark places (showing my age and class here ^.^;) but whatever might be in the possible mix doesn't end up smelling on the doll or the box. I honestly can say it's not like any other glue i've encountered. It seems to whiten a little when treated.

We don't even know if the surfactant is the chemical that's responsible because results have been from various household cleaners with other ingredients. It's not affected by soap or conditioner so we can maybe rule that out. But we can't rule out something with the PH. I'd love to hear your theories.

[charkyzombicorn]

Make an au out of these

🐊🐬

WORSE challenge make a WHOLESOME NONE ANGSTY AU- OUT OF THESE

NONE ANGSTY?! Jimmy gimme an au with NOTHING!!!

Lawlu au because I barely ever do lawlu

Basically Law works at the aquarium portion of a zoo, he feeds the fish, takes care of pH levels, and due to cut backs, is now responsible for training new dolphins. He has no idea how to train dolphins, but the job pays enough he can support himself and pay for medical school with enough off time to still go to medical school so he'll figure it out because there will be no other jobs like this. Day one of trying to get Dory - or Chelsea or something he can't tell which ones are which - he goes out to the training pool with the dolphins only to find some fucking guy just swimming around in the pool. Not even swimming well, just kinda flailing and waddling in the shallows like a four year old.

So Law asks if he works there, since the area is closed to the public, and the guy just says "Nope!" like he's not on private property. And Law's had a stressful week and he has no idea how to fucking train dolphins so he ends up yelling at this fucking guy for like 10 minutes, at the end of which said guy laughs at him so hard he waterboards himself. Law says his swimming sucks because he's petty, and the guy suddenly gets very serious and is like "Well I'm Trying to learn but youre throwing me off my groove."

Law looks at this grown ass man. "How do you not know how to swim."

"Fuck you!"

But then one of the dolphins starts yelling because they've been behind the gate that leads into the training pool for a while and the guy suddenly gets really excited and starts petting the dolphins and clicking at them and then he does a thing with his finger and one of them spins around in place and Law gets a cartoon light bulb over his head.

"I'll teach you how to swim if you train these dolphins"

"Deal. I'm Newgate D. Luffy!"

"Newgate."

"Ya"

"Like Newgate Zoo. The zoo we're in."

"Yeah! It's my dad's :)"

"Fuck."

[qtipcottonbuds]

𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙆𝙏𝙊𝘽𝙀𝙍 '𝗢𝟳 ; 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗚𝗢𝗝𝗢 + 𝗚𝗘𝗧𝗢 [GAGBALL + HUMILIATION] 

this is very inspired by thanksgiving. and i’ve decided to make it into this. EUUUUUUUUGHGHGHGHGHGHHG. updatee idk what this is soz, got a bit lost whilst writing it xoxo this is a cliffhanger because my brain just ???? id dpmt eem know bro.

warnings ;; pet play, use of gagballs, use of bondage, mentions of the celebration of thanksgiving, humilation kink, degradation sort of, threesome, mentions of object insertion, belly play ish ish ish, mentions of belly kinks, may touch upon themes of fisting (which you should skip this fic if you aren’t comfortable with it), mild language, referral to the reader as ‘pet/puppy’, sort of facials ???

by qtipcottonbuds 2022. do not repost.

𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗚𝗢𝗝𝗢 + 𝗚𝗘𝗧𝗢 𝗫 𝗚𝗡!𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥;

A silicone gag, shaped in that of a ripened apple, remains situated in your mouth, parting your lips ever so slightly; the polyester double-straps secured firmly around the back of your head, overlapping in the form of a X. Although it was seemingly bought with the intent of some comfortability, some means of grounding yourself, it was anything but - it was awkward. Gojo could tell. Every so often, the build up of saliva, pooling around the back of your mouth, gathering across your teeth would collect together, seeping out and dribbling down the sides of your chin. 

Sloppy was an understatement. But, sloppy looked good on you. 

A messy puppy.

They’d repositioned your knees apart. Ankles in the air, held up by linen ropes, your knees were pressed up just short of your chest, but wide enough to leave your sex bare - occasionally twitching from the cool draft ruminating in the room, tickling against it. The material of the ropes, interlaced and interlocked across your forearms also, dug into your skin, chafing; with your hands settled on your kneecaps, holding them wide with additional support, as you lay on your back on the dining table, a soft cloth left underneath you.

The process, both beginning and towards the end, somewhat complicated - was almost painstakingly, taking longer than expected, with Gojo opting to at times, dig the heel of his palm into the tip of his cockhead, easing the strain. Leaking like a faucet, steadily, soaking his boxers. Not that he was shy about it either - Getou himself was in a similar position. Grunting each time his crotch brushed up against your skin, eager for some sort of friction, but instead, continued restraining you. 

Discipline was more of his strong suit, anyway.

Peppering you in soft kisses across your face, tonguing away any stray tears, Gojo fights the urge to coo. A taunt? Possibly. A biting one at that. You looked so pathetic. Really, it was endearing. Albeit muffled, you whine into the gag from the sensation, his tongue swiping across your skin, almost playfully. 

It was more than clear that you were overwhelmed - too many sensations occurring all at once. Getou was obviously drawing out the process, his fingering meticulous in nature, methodical. He’d substituted his fingers just recently, replacing them with the objects he’d slid inside of you prior. Ranging from that of anal beads and vibrating eggs of varying sizes. Gojo had to give it to him, he was more than prepared for a punishment.

Getou’s fingers are long, dainty, almost too pretty for such a dirty, filthy act. The first finger slips inside of you with relative ease, stretching you out once again, testing the resistance. Looking almost bored with the action.

“I would like you, to count for me, pet. One?” 

It’s phrased like a demand, rather than a question.

You eyes meet with Gojo’s own temporarily, possibly in reassurance, he wasn’t too sure, but he nods down at you. A confirmation.

You comply, and it comes out more as a gurgle - a surge of saliva seeping out in the process. Intelligible, Gojo can barely catch onto the oddly sounding phonetic of ‘f’, escaping as that of a ‘ph’ instead. But, it was good enough for him, and partially for Getou himself, eyeing you sceptically.

Getou’s index finger trails around the abused rim, no doubt swollen from the force prior from the use of sex toys, and resisting against any further intrusions of random objects. It slides with a likeness to the first. Easy. Getou is eyeing you once again, waiting for any verbal (if you could call it that) protests at the sensation, alongside waiting for the telltale confirmation of the next number in line.

A weak warble of ‘two’ is just about managed.

Nodding, Getou smiles, almost maliciously - each of the fingers curling and hooking at irregular rhythms. Out of touch, out of sync. You can just about barely see the rotation of his wrist, most likely rotating for more comfortability - yet, you can certainly feel it from the change in texture, the padding of his inner palms, leaving you wriggling.

Gojo takes this opportunity to lean down, one hand still languidly thumbing up against his glans, coaxing out more pre-cum.

“I need you to behave, pup, yeah? You were doing so good, so well. I need you to be obedient for us; you can do that, can’t you?”

The reply is immediate - a conditioned response. You whine willingly, nodding your head with as much freedom as your restraints allowed. So willing, pliant in their hands.

With each addition of Getou’s fingers, it’s evident that he’s moved onto the final addition - his thumb - with how you freeze up, nervous. His knuckles brush up alongside your rim, curled up into a fist (near to that of the size of a grapefruit), and pushing against the muscle.

Reassuringly (if you could call it that), Gojo leans down, his lips nudging against your ear lobe, “How many do you think we’re at now, pup?”

It comes out with something vaguely similar to that of the word, five.

“Good. Good puppy!” 

Gojo’s smile is jovial in nature, his tone mocking. 

A direct contrast to how close he is, and instead, decides to slap the head of his cockhead across your cheek, pushing it down, and smearing your cheeks and forehead in streaks of pre-cum. Clear and syrupy. 

It’s mean, sadistic, for someone needing comfort; marking his seed across your face, latching onto the edges of your eyelashes. Yet, it’s something to ground yourself with at least, something to focus on instead of the growing burning sensation at your rim. Something larger, bigger, pushing and pushing and pushing.

Plugging you up. 

Experimentally, Getou rotates his wrist for a final time, knuckles scraping across your insides, gummy and bumpy.

“So greedy. Taking me wholly. A greedy, dumb pup,” Getou eases his fist further, experimentally with rocking motions, increasing in pace, “So desperate to be filled with something. Anything. Would you take any cock if it was offered to you, pet, just like that?”