#PCY fanfic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

archernarbeta · 2 years

Text

For all the moments

✴︎ pairing : Chanyeol x Reader

✴︎ genre : domestic!au, idol!chanyeol, editor!reader, angst, fluff, comfort, yearning

✴︎ summary : For all the moments, you were always by his side. For all the moments, he was always next to you.

✴︎ warning : none, maybe mild cursing but nothing else!

✴︎ word count : 4.2K

✴︎ author’s note : hii! It’s archie! This one has been hanging out on my drafts for way too long and I finally decided it’s time to take it out! Anyways, this fic was initially for Baekhyun but I felt that the scenario fits better with Chanyeol. I was highly inspired by EXO-SC’s Jet-lag and Kyungsoo’s recent birthday party where he sang Beautiful Day! I hope you enjoy this one and feel free to leave feedback or comments! likes are also much appreciated ♥

⁠—

The loud drizzling sounds of rain hitting your apartment window can’t help but stir you up from your deep slumber. What the hell, you thought, rubbing your eyes a little to wash away your sleepiness. The clock beside your bedside table reads 3.40am, the timing indicates that it’s too early for anyone to be awake at the moment. The sky kept rumbling, with thunders flashing every minute and you groaned at the sight of the storm rolling in front of you. Being woken up from a storm was one thing but being awake without your husband, was another thing. You knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep again so you grabbed your phone to check if Chanyeol had landed in Seoul from his recent work trip from Paris.

Notifications 02.30am KST Yeol: > Babe? > I just landed with the worst weather ever! > I can't wait to see you > I missed you so much :(( Read 03.43am KST

Being married for 2 years to one of the most famous idol in Korea, you were accustomed to his busy schedule. Flying out here and there to attend concerts, award shows, photoshoots and prestigious events was part of the job. With you working as a fashion editor, his daily agenda was not out of the ordinary for you. The difference only being the fact that he works under the limelight, but you don’t—not that you mind at all. Nevertheless, both of you made it work. It was too easy to understand how it feels to work under a tight schedule without any time to breathe. You with your never-ending deadlines and meetings, and him with his idol life.

However, dating him for 6 years and being married to him for three, being away from him never gets easier.

You zoned out for a while before a loud thud distracted your attention, followed by your bedroom door clicking open. Your husband was finally home, his tall frame resting against the door with a huge grin on his face. Even with the minimal lighting of your bedroom, you could make up the bags under his sparkling eyes and the sight made you frown.

“Hii honey,” his voice soft as ever, “I missed you so much..”

You sat up beaming at him while reaching out, welcoming him with open arms. He took a step closer to the bed, engulfing your sleepy figure. You replied with a small ‘hello’ as you melted into his hug. You really can’t help but wonder how he’d smell so nice after a long-haul flight, but nevertheless, you love inhaling his scent that brings you nothing but comfort.

“How long have you been awake? The storm must’ve woken you up.” His voice was laced with worry.

You held his cheeks with your hands and he practically melt under your touch,

“Not too long ago.”

“Please quickly shower and join me in bed, huh? Pretty please…” you pouted at his tired state.

“Anything for you, baby. Give me a while and I’ll join you as soon as possible!”

He didn’t close the door as he showered, not that you’d mind, at this point you were too sleepy to even think of peeking. As the water ran down on his back, he unconsciously kept you awake by chatting with you. He really couldn’t help that he missed his wife so much.

“Babe, do you have plans tomorrow?”

“No? Not that I could think of…I might drop by the studio and the office tomorrow morning but other than that, I don’t think I’ll be booked the whole day. Are you going somewhere tomorrow?”

“The office? Isn’t tomorrow like..Saturday? Is Saerim giving you a hard time? What about the interns? They’re not helping you enough? Are you working too hard again?” He rambled on with concern with a raised voice as the running water muffled his voice.

“I- Uh..” you stammered, “Yeol, I t-told you work is fine” you quipped. The sound of the water subsided as a tall figure emerged from the bathroom. Chanyeol dried his hair, ruffling the soft brown locks with a towel as he frowned at your response. He knew you were having a hard time at work and had asked you to quit a thousand times by now. Even without the math, anyone would know that his pay would be enough for the both of you to live comfortably.

You looked at your golden-retriever husband in the eye, “So where are you going tomorrow?”

A thing about Chanyeol is that he’d waive things out so easily, as easy as shifting the conversation to another topic and he won’t go back to pester the elephant in the room.

At your question he blinks a few times, “Would you mind if I take a day out tomorrow with the boys? Baek said he needed some pointers for his upcoming solo album and Junmyeon-Hyung had things to discuss for the group.” He scratched the back of his head.

“But that is…if it’s okay with you?” he nervously asked.

“That’s okay, babe…” you half yawned, sleep lulled you once again as you tried snuggling inside the comforter,

“I really don’t mind”, the drowsiness took you as the soft satin sheets came in contact with your skin. He smiled at the sight as he returned the towel to its place. Chanyeol didn’t take long to join you in bed, cuddling you in his arms.

After his hectic schedules and weeks without holding you, being beside you was the perfect medicine to charge his tired form. He sighed, relieving all his weariness before the slumber took him out.

He knew, this was home.

You, were home.

⁠—

Morning came faster than you’d like. The rain from last night hadn’t stopped, raindrops trickling on your high-floor apartment as the sky was still dark as ever. Beside you, a tired giant, possessively hugging you amidst his sleep. You giggled at this grown-up man’s clingy behaviour. Chanyeol will always be the cutest, ever.

You blamed your body clock for waking up so early on a Saturday, especially on this dreading Saturday.

With a little struggle, you free yourself from Chanyeol’s hold and tiptoed to the kitchen. It was just 6.00am but you quickly prepared breakfast for the both of you and salad, for Chanyeol just in case he wants a light lunch.

As you sipped your coffee, last night’s conversation went through your head. He knew you had troubles at work, he had plans and you said you were okay, you didn’t mind.

You internally sighed because mind you did.

You were far from okay.

Because even though you’d hate to admit it, you’d love to have him for yourself. In fact, you have missed him so much these past few weeks that it physically hurts.

But no.

You had work.

Your useless-piece-of-a-shit-partner Yoon Saerim, will probably taunt you if you don’t come up with a better concept for this month’s pictorial. So even though you miss being around your ball of sunshine more than you’d like to admit, fate was just not in your favour this Saturday.

You could always quit, is what Yeol usually says after your long rant about your horrible boss and the disgusting amount of workload you had to handle. Sure you have subordinates and interns working under you, but working in fashion for so long, you came to the conclusion that nothing is never ever enough when it comes to the industry.

Thinking back, Chanyeol always loved being under the spotlight as an idol ever since his debut days and making music was as precious as that. After both of you settled down and eventually got married, you were quick to admit that Chanyeol sacrificed a lot for you, even if you didn’t ask him to. He paid the bills, every bill. He took care of the parents, dinner dates with your parents and his every other week were a staple and he’d never miss sending health supplements once in a while. You never asked him to do so but married Chanyeol just stepped up and took on the role as a caring husband so naturally.

Even with his burning passion in music, he went the extra mile, producing countless songs by the count of months. At times he goes on an overdrive, he’d lock himself up in the studio and he would forget about everything else. Situations like this scares the shit out of you. You remembered the first time he went berserk, it took you and his members two days to figure out where he was. He’d gone AWOL and you had to call the police to track down his phone, just to find out that he’d been coping himself in the studio for 48 hours without sleep or food, only water. You and Sehun found him sitting down in front of the recording booth with a guitar in hand, music sheets sprawled on the floor. His eyes were already bloodshot red, it was clear that he was sleep-deprived, very tired and out of focus. Sehun sighed, ready to scold Yeol for his stupid behaviour before your husband quipped,

“Please don’t take me away, not yet…”

his eyes all over the place with brows furrowed, his forehead creasing.

“I swear if you give me more time, I’ll finish this tomorrow and I’ll go but please leave and don’t come here until tomorrow, yeah? I need to finish this song because they’ll pay a huge amount for this one… Give me more time, please?” He is disassociated as ever, you were aware that he didn’t notice you due to his state.

“Hyung…” the younger sighed again.

“S-Sehun-ah, I have Y/N now.. You might not know how it feels now but I- I want to give the world to her. We’re idols but our prime time is way past us, when the momentum is gone, we might too.” He dropped his head to the door of the recording booth as he sighed,

He mindlessly draws patterns on the floor, “I need to save up for Y/N, for our future.. and it won’t happen if I don’t work like this. So-“

In a blink you crouched down, embracing him with tears already wetting your face. Words couldn’t form but the pressure, the knot that he bear was starting to unravel. He got your message,

You’re enough.

Moments like these, his breakdowns, were one of the things that kept you grounded. If you’re being honest, your job also keeps you on your feet. Working as an co-chief editor in fashion was always your dream and to be frank, you enjoyed the job more than you let on. But the past year has been nothing but hell, thanks to the newly appointed co-chief editor Yoon Saerim. You habitually ponder how she got the position as she wasn’t really suitable for the job, she didn’t really have the knack for fashion. But moreover, you just didn’t like the fact that she ogled Chanyeol and Sehun when they came by for a photoshoot.

You quickly snapped out of your deep thoughts when you gulped your last drop of coffee, thinking of Yoon Saerim never fails to make you turn sour.

Without wasting more time, you prepared yourself to head to your studio. For disclaimer, the studio was Chanyeol’s, not the office’s. Not long after you started the job years ago, both of you decided that it would be nice to rent out an old apartment in the city for the both of you to work. The studio has a built-in recording booth, production space for Chanyeol and a creative working-space for you. However, with time passing, you ended up using the space more than your husband.

Before you left the house, you gave him a forehead kiss and stuck a post-it-note on his phone,

‘Good Morning My Happy Virus ♡ thank you for always working so hard, sometimes you worry me, love :( have a great time with the boys today! am out for work - it’s deadline week ◡̈ i love you 3000 — much, much love, Y/N ‘

—

You arrived at the empty studio with your shoulders slumped, looking at the stacked paper, pictorials and mood boards around your disoriented workspace. The interns must’ve sent these yesterday, fucking hell, here we go again.

Not long after, you succumbed to the job you love and hate at the same time. To be honest, as one of the high-ranked chief editor in your company, it wasn’t your share to do these tasks anymore, those days were over you. But reviewing each and every item, every trend that goes into the magazine is a job you love no matter how meticulous it actually is. Besides, the information you extract from all this has proven to help your career so far, making you one of the sought-out fashion editors in Seoul. However the fact doesn’t relieve you from the burden and pressure you get from your useless co-chief editor.

“She’s bossy and pushy but useless— and you’re too compliant, Babe,” Chanyeol would always joke and you’d usually tackle him back with a pillow, leaving both of you cackling in the process.

Speaking of Chanyeol, the man in question just stirred up from bed, barely opening his eyes, adjusting to the gloomy weather in front of his open-windowed bedroom. He instantly rubbed his sides, sleep evidently washed away when he realised his beloved Y/N weren’t there. He called your name out a few times to make sure that maybe, you were outside the room, just to know that his voice had filled the void of your apartment.

As expected, he immediately sat up and grabbed his phone to call you. Before even unlocking his cell, he found your oh-so-lovely note that you stuck on this morning. Chanyeol sighed, he knew you were having a hard time but you never fail to warm his heart with your sweet note, he particularly loved the use of his favourite iron-man quote.

He stared at the note lovingly for a while before heading to the bathroom and freshened up for the day. When he entered the kitchen to see a packed lunch box and another one with breakfast inside, he sulked further. Your puppy-like husband misses you and you doing this, made him sappier. He carefully unpacked the meals you prepared, gratefully munching your cooking. He was supposed to meet his members at 10 and so, he drove quickly as he was running late. When he parked his car in front of the company’s building, a text came from Baekhyun.

Notifications 10.08am KST Baek: > Yeol? > the meeting’s canceled > Junmyeon-hyung said something came up > and my mom called, she wanted my help :O > Really sorry for the sudden intrusion! But have a good rest day with Y/N ^^ > Send her my love too!! Read 10.15am KST

< BYUN BAEKHYUN YOU LITTLE SHIT < THANKS FOR THE ‘HEADS UP’ < Picture sent < LOOK WHERE I AM YOU LITTLE SHIT!!! Sent 10.16am KST

Baek: > Oh.. > The message didn’t come through 😅 I texted you way before,, must be the reception? > But you can always have a good time with y/n!! > I’m so sorry 🥺 Read 10.17am KST

Chanyeol couldn’t be sulkier. His ears literally drooped down as he huffed in annoyance. He didn’t reply back to Baekhyun as he slid the phone back in his pockets. He drove home in silence, even the thought of going back to bed to aid his tiredness didn’t make him feel better. He entered the foyer of the empty apartment and he shuffled inside lazily. You’d probably melt if you see him right now, his shoulder slumped slightly with a goo-goo look on his face. Especially now, with his buffier-form, compared to his pre-debut lanky state is something you’d administer as a cute change as a result of his exercising habits over the years. But it doesn’t matter because you’re not there and alas he came home to a cold, dark, empty apartment with his love nowhere to be seen.

The sky dark, rain still pouring down, much like his mood. The thing about Chanyeol is the fact that he’s a clingy extrovert when it comes to people he loves. You love that about him. He didn’t care about the hectic schedule, it’s the ‘being away from you’ that made everything hard to surpass. That’s why after every schedule abroad, Chanyeol would love going home when he knows his love is waiting for him. There’s nothing better than coming home to a warm apartment with you snuggled on the couch. However, now, he’s the only one on the couch, alone.

He pondered for more than an hour, zoning out, before deciding to stand up and head to the door once again. The silence is deafening, he misses you too much and he had to do something about it.

—

In your studio, coming in your nearly fifth hour of productivity, you’re starting to break down. You were now on the verge of crying while doing your work, it’s the creativity block, you mentally cursed. You’ve been dealing with it lately but having to work in fashion, it’s inevitable and you never really told anyone about it, especially not Chanyeol. You felt that his occupation demanded more of him than yours did to you, you wouldn’t want to burden him with your problems.

“Fuck.”

“Fucking hell!”

“This is so not happening right now…” tears welled as the screen of your precious laptop turned pitch black. You scoffed at the situation with the waterworks falling down your eyes. You were over this.

You slumped near the corners of the room, hugging your knees as you stared at your now dead device, silently crying as your head whirls for other, worse negative possibilities of happening. Numb, is probably the best way to describe your current state after crying your heart out for 30 minutes straight. You end up curling yourself into a ball, hanging your head low in the corners of the room as your mind goes blank.

As you hid yourself in the darkest corners of your office, you failed to notice the jiggling sound of the key, the clacking locks and the noise of the door opening.

“Babeeeee?” the sound traveled from the hallway. Lo and behold, a sulked Chanyeol is here. His mood is still on the low but the idea of meeting you gets him excited like a puppy.

You couldn’t hear him though, your head still in a blocked-state and the room you’re in was the furthest from the hallway.

Chanyeol entered the studio, footsteps tapping against the hardwood flooring. It puzzled him why he didn’t receive an answer back, but knowing your shoes were on the foyer, he knew you were somewhere inside. He set foot to the break room, your coat was on the couch but where were you?

He continued peeking into his recording studio, the nearest space to the break room. The lights were out, signalling him that you’re probably not there. The bathroom and the other rooms were also empty, your office was the only place left. He slowly knocked, hoping to get an answer. To his surprise, nothing. He then gently pushed the door open, just enough for his head to peek inside. Before he could call your name, he heard sniffles from the farthest corner, he could make up your hunched, clearly crying figure and your favourite beige socks too. He exhaled as his worries washed away. Even though his heart ached more than ever, finding you with a meltdown was a relief as he initially thought you passed out or worse.

He didn’t enter the room. He shuffled himself out as quietly as possible to grab his guitar in his recording room. This should do, he thought.

He re-entered your office, walked closer and sat on the floor near you. The cramped space barely fits his long legs.

“Hey,” he greeted you with a hushed voice.

Noticing his voice, you instinctively lift up your head to see your husband, sitting in front of you. In your shocked-state, you forcefully brushed off your tears in embarrassment, your skin will probably turn red later.

“Hey.. No, no, no..” he reached out, wiping your tears, caressing your disheveled hair.

“Gently, yeah, yeah.. You’ll hurt yourself” he continued as he patted the areas under your eyes with his long sleeves.

After you calmed down, you didn’t have the courage to even say anything to the man. Deep down, you were embarrassed to be found in a silly breakdown, even if it was your husband. Besides, you didn’t know what to say to him anyways. While you were overthinking and avoiding eye contact with him, he pulled the guitar behind him and started to play a familiar song,

“It's a beautiful life 난 너의 곁에 있을게 (I'll stay by your side) It's a beautiful life 너의 뒤에 서 있을게 (I'll stand right behind you) Beautiful love”

Slowly but surely, your heart warmed up to the sound of his voice and you couldn’t help but stare at your husband. He stopped singing when your eyes met and he gave you a comforting smile.

“C’mon, let’s get you up princess,” as he helped you stand up, circling his arms around your waist. You haven’t articulated a sound but he didn’t mind, he just let you lean into his sides as he guided you to the couch in the break room. He sat you down before abruptly standing and rummaging a brown paper bag on the coffee table,

“I got your favourite cake and hot chocolate actually,” he grinned, facing your puffy face. “I thought you were having a hard time, well- I know you are having a hard time… But you never tell me you know, Babe?” He rambled as he unboxed a variety of sliced cakes and pastries on the table.

“I-I get the fact that you wouldn’t want to burden me, but I’m kinda your husband and best friend too.. I wish you wouldn’t keep these things from me” he picked up the fork and scooped a piece of cheesecake to feed you,

Before you had the chance to reply,

“I mean—open up a lil’ baby— I don’t mind you working and all, it’s your passion and I will support you either way, but you don’t get to shield your meltdowns from me… Who’s gonna hold you when you cry, huh?” he kept on chattering while feeding you, giving you no room to talk.

“I’ve said a thousand times that we’re super comfortable right now, yet I know it’s not about the money, I’m super cool with you working.. It’s about the workload a-and the pressure you get from your subs and colleagues!!” He raised his arms as a sign of annoyance.

You gulped down the big chunk of cheesecake and shut him up with a peck. The action took him by surprise but it didn’t fail to shut him up.

“Okay, Chanyeol.” you softly replied, followed by another peck on his lips

“I get what you mean” you smiled at your husband.

You then began on telling the troubles you had at work, silently thanking the universe that he came in the right moment and that he was your saving grace. He listened intently, even going to the measures of contacting his technician friends to help fix your laptop as soon as possible. He made jokes too along the way to lighten your mood and gave you warm touches here and there to comfort you further.

You were his home, his ground zero.

He was yours too.

—

Hours passed and now you were back working, Chanyeol in the other room, busying himself in the recording studio.

“Yeol?” you called him.

“Hmm? What’s up princess?”

“Uh- I just remembered, didn’t you had like- plans? You were supposed to go with Baek and the members today right?”

Footsteps were apparent as he walked closer to the opened door of your office, his head peeped through the door.

“Junmyeon-Hyung canceled, Baek too.. I was quite grumpy because I reached the office when Baekhyun texted me” He walked in further.

“Then I came home but the house wasn’t warm enough even though I cranked the heater up!” He sulked, and sulked further.

“I was alone, I don’t want to be…I also don't want you to be alone too Y/N.

I only wanted to be around you, I really tried staying in!! But I couldn’t be alone in the house without you when you’re my home.” he pouted.

You want to die then and there, you miss him as much and he was sad, it makes you sad too, but he was being sulky-cute… Can you turn into a putty of love?

“Come here you big baby!” you excitedly threw yourself in his arms. He buried his soft locks on the crook of your neck as he whispered ‘I miss you' s and you couldn’t help but let out a hearty laugh.

“I miss you too, Yeol..

I miss you so, so much.” He hugged you tighter as he giggled too.

This was it, you thought. This was love at its finest and you couldn’t be happier that you’ve found it. For all the moments, good or bad, both of you never failed to become each other's home.

344 notes · View notes

diggi-ty · 8 months

Text

# ★ (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) chanyeol & lucas icons 120x120

30 notes · View notes

wolveswithblackpearls · 6 months

Text

Werewolf AU!Chanyeol

“I don’t want you to die!”

He marched up to you until the two of you were toe to toe. “Give me a reason. Just one reason that doesn’t involve your conscience as to why you don’t want me to die.”

Inspired by @marshmallow-phd ’s “The Untamed - Part 3: Sculpted Raven” (especially by angsty Chapter 8)

~ Admin S

Original date of publishing: Jan 15th, 2019

9 notes · View notes

theluckyyyoneee · 2 years

Text

antipode | pcy

pairing: park chanyeol x reader

contents: high school!au, soccerplayer!chanyeol with like 1% actual inclusion of the sport, lots of inner turmoil, sad!chanyeol to happy!chanyeol, smooching, fluFF, yn gets hit with another soccer ball oof lmao

word count: 10,4k

summary: AlternateUniverseAU! When the guy you hate—and who you’re certain hates you—becomes your boyfriend after you swore he kicked a soccer ball at your head.

part 01 / part 02 / part 03:finale

“No, I really—”

“Oh come on, just try it!”

“No, I don’t think...”

Placing the guitar in your hesitant hands, you sighed in defeat at the look of pleading Chanyeol sent you, his pout changing in an instant to a smile of victory. He gingerly sat you down, then began directing your hands to the proper placements, a look of concentration as he attempted to fix the stiff joints in your fingers.

The more time you spent with this man, the less you were finding yourself able to defend yourself against any wishes he had. Whether it was going out shopping, to the movies, restaurants, random drives along the town, arcades, or in this case; impromptu guitar lessons.

Apparently you’d been receiving guitar lessons from Chanyeol for a few months now, and he was convinced that you two had practiced enough that maybe muscle memory would kick in and it could maybe trigger a long lost memory of some sort, or be able to play a short tune.

Which, yeah, it might’ve worked if it was you who had been receiving the lessons. But you weren’t.

Little did he know you weren’t the Y/n he knew and you were one hundred percent sure that this was going to go very badly considering you knew absolutely nothing about the guitar, just looking at the instrument filled you with tremendous anxiety and impending doom, not wanting to accidentally damage it with your inherent clumsiness.

Not that going to his house and meeting his parents for the first time didn’t twist your stomach into knots, either.

Chanyeol had mentioned when he’d first informed you of the guitar lessons that his parents really wanted to see you again, and that they wouldn’t stop bugging him about it, if you wanted to meet them, to which you agreed without much mulling over.

You didn’t see why not, even though you felt the nervousness build in the pit of your stomach at the mere thought of it. If you and him were going to spending a lot more time together, it was only right to meet his parents... ‘again’.

It was a bit intimidating walking up the porch steps to his impressive looking house, barely having set your feet inside and started to look around the room in wonderment for a tiny fraction of a second before you were suddenly being engulfed in a tight embrace.

“Y/n! We missed you so much, how are you doing now, dear? Are you feeling okay, you wanna sit down?” A comforting warmth enveloped you and felt yourself instantly and subconsciously relaxing entirely. “Are you sure you’re okay, honey? Remember, try to take it easy—”

She was cut off and pulled away from the heartening (she was highkey suffocating you) hug she’d cocooned you into by who had to be Chanyeol’s dad. “You’re gonna scare her away, relax a little.” He laughed charmingly to his wife, a mild expression of embarrassment graced her features as she gave you some space.

“Oh, I’m fine, please don’t worry. I appreciate the heartfelt welcome, I was a little nervous so it made me feel better,” you awkwardly got out, suddenly very shy with all the attention on you.

“Oh, you’re still so cute—”

Chanyeol quickly moved you to stand in front of him by the stairs, cutting his mother off in her move to gather you into what you guessed would be another smothering hug. “Alright, we’re gonna go upstairs now, you guys can talk to her another day, let’s not overwhelm her. I’ll leave the door wide open, don’t worry,” his voice was notably more hushed for the last thing he got out at the subtle look his mom sent his way.

Relief flooded you, you weren’t completely sure you could handle being alone in an enclosed space with him just yet. You sent an agreeing nod at his words, placing a polite smile on your face as you sneaked a glance at his face, daring you to think he was a little... embarrassed?

He was pushing you lightly up the stairs in front of you the next possible second, always making sure his eyes were averted away from you and to maintain a respectable distance your bodies. A soft smile came to your lips as you noticed this fact, his parents murmuring to each other with hidden smiles look how cute they are, glad that their son seemed to be happier lately and knowing just who was the reason for that.

The two of you rounded the stairs where he just as quickly took his hands off your shoulders, looking at you with an apologetic smile. “Sorry if my mom scared you, it’s just—you two were really close and she just misses you, I think. And, the—” Chanyeol paused to clear his throat, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked elsewhere, “the keeping the door open is one of my mom’s rules.”

He gestured to the closest room to you with pink cheeks. “Um, this is my room. I cleaned before you came over, I promise—and I’ll keep this open the whole time, okay?” He pushed the door completely open, but he made no further move, as if waiting for your permission.

“Thanks.” You shyly smiled up at him as you passed, silently examining the room you had just stepped into. It was very... him. You didn’t know why, but it felt like him. To the cool color of his bedding, the amount of soccer items adorning the room, medals adorning the walls. It made you smile at the strangely soothing scene in front of you. “It looks cozy.”

The words had slipped right out of your mouth on their own, not realizing until it was already too late. Silence surrounded the two of you and you graciously accepted his invitation to sit on the bed, turning around to grab something. Your heart raced in your chest as you tried to calm yourself down and willed yourself to act normal.

Back to the present, Chanyeol was still knelt in front of you as he finished the finger placements. Once he was satisfied, he hummed as a grin popped on his face, stepping away to stand in front of you.

“Alright, now try and see if you remember how to play an A Chord.” He reached for something behind him on his nightstand by his bed and turned around again, placing a plain dark blue pick in your hand.

“How would I even—” your attempt to dismiss this whole thing falters as you catch the hopeful glint in his eyes and took note of his feet that he had been shuffling back and forth in what seemed a nervous habit. He was peeking down down at you from under his hair as he chewed on the nail of his thumb. “Okay, let’s see...”

You were becoming a total softie for Chanyeol and it wasn’t something you knew how to stop.

You had no idea what chord he was talking about, and you had no idea where you were supposed to place your fingers on the coarse strings, but you shrugged and slowly placed them in a way that felt most natural to you and ran the pick softly along the strings, the resulting sound not at all an appealing one. Somehow you applied too much force and the pick ran down the strings very roughly, both of you cringing away at the sound, looking at him apologetically for possibly damaging his instrument.

“No, huh?”

“No,” he sighed, his shoulders slumping forward from their tense lock that he had them in. His face which was somewhat a mix between hopeful and expectant also fell, but he masked it quickly. A carefree smile adorned his lips as he shrugged off the weird mood that had rose between the two of you, coming to plop himself down right next to you. “It’s okay, you can learn everything again. No worries.”

“Wow, lucky me.” You joked, nudging him with your shoulder in a way to lighten up the mood, relieved when his grin turned more genuine, his eyes softening as the two of you stared at each other, your once calm heart began to pick up pace the longer you looked at him.

It was when you looked away and saw a picture of you and Chanyeol, framed, on his nightstand. Well, the other you. The original you.

You startled when you felt his fingers on yours, glancing down to see him rearranging your fingers into what you assumed was the correct placement for the A Chord, his lips forming words but you couldn’t hear him, your mind becoming the tiniest bit fuzzy as you were enveloped more in his warm embrace and the starting to become familiar scent of his cologne.

“You probably don’t remember, but the first time you came to my house, you...”

It was at times like these where you felt yourself feeling sorry for the man who was determined to keep you by his side. Feeling sorry that he was left to remember all these treasured memories alone.

You would study the wide and nostalgic smile that would appear on his face when he told you story after story of your many adventures and experiences the two of you embarked together. That smile would always vanish whenever he returned to the present and see you staring at him with a guilty expression that had in some way found its way to your face.

“Don’t feel sorry.” He would always respond to your remorseful apologies, gracing you with an ever kind and patient smile. But him smiling at you like that only made your mood worsen even more, knowing the only reason he was so understanding and sanguine was because he fully believed you were the woman he fell in love with, the woman he so desperately wanted back.

But you weren’t.

It was obvious from the countless tales you heard and watched him fawn over.

The Y/n in this universe was much more outgoing, brave and endearing than you ever considered yourself to be, people worried about her to an extent you really didn’t understand.

No matter how much you wished you were the person he fell in love with, the person that held his heart—that wish only growing stronger each day you spent with this charming and lovable human being—you could never be her.

You feared you wouldn’t be able to live up to his expectations.

Strange to think you’d ever be jealous of another version of yourself.

Chanyeol was a good teacher, he made you feel at ease as you fumbled and struggled to make a pretty sound out of the wooded instrument, reassuring you whenever you would retreat into yourself and hyping you up when you actually did something right.

Eventually you relaxed and was able to joke around with him somewhat, though the feel of his fingers covering yours was something you couldn’t get used to no matter how many times he helped you (he totally didn’t need to help you that much he just wanted to hold your hand).

Your phones vibration pulled you out of your thoughts and you reluctantly detached your fingers from his to find a message from Junmyeon, not realizing just how long you’d been here for. "Oh, I gotta go. I'm having dinner at Mr. and Mrs. Kim's house." Junmyeon had told you that his parents were worried about you, and how they too kept pestering him about inviting you over dinner, and he had finally caved and asked you yesterday to which you agreed.

You loved his parents almost as much you loved your own in your last universe, and you can only hope that they were the same as you remembered them, and they hadn’t changed as well.

“Oh, okay.” He hopped up from your side and you were instantly cold when you felt like you were burning up a few seconds ago. He placed the guitar back to its place in the corner where he kept it as you, too, stood up. “Um, so I’ll text you later?” Chanyeol scratched the back of his head and he stared at you with a hopeful expression, the tone of his voice giving away of how unsure he really felt despite the brave face he’d been putting on for you.

It was your fault he was suffering, you thought to yourself glumly. You told him you’d try and get to know him again, the word again giving an illusion that maybe he’d get back the relationship with the girl he loved and thought that you were again.

Filled with the false hope that things would go back to normal as he smiled at you so sweetly and comforted you. Here you were, liking him more and more each day as you were subjected to the past memories of his real love, which wasn’t you.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" Chanyeol eyed you with worry etched onto his face as you had just suddenly zoned out. It was discomforting but it was also a regular occurrence. He so desperately wanted to find out what was in that head of yours, but didn’t want to overwhelm you any more than you already were. If only you trusted him as you did before.

"Huh?" Blinking, you regained your senses to find him staring at you in worry. You backtracked to what you two were saying before you got all lost in your thoughts and smiled at him as convincingly as you could, "yeah, we should figure out what to do later, let's do anything you want to do." As retribution, to ease this smothering feeling inside you.

You rang the doorbell, and it was as if they were just waiting by the door because it didn't even feel like two seconds later when the door swung open and Junmyeon was ushering you inside by the arm, a look of joy on his face. All you got out was a quick greeting to his parents and sister—who very excitedly ran up to you as soon as you entered the house and enveloped you into a big hug—who you acted a bit awkwardly around, because after all, this was your first time ever meeting her.

You were meeting a lot of people today. She was absolutely gorgeous, but of course that came as no surprise. Also you were still getting used to the fact that Junmyeon had a sister in this universe, fully expecting to see Minseok bound down the stairs and give you one of those big brotherly hugs you were missing at the moment.

“Let me talk to her first. Hey Y/n, glad you could make it, how are you?” Junmyeon spewed out the question after dragging you to a secluded area of his living room, not giving you the chance to even answer because after he took a quick breath, he was immediately continuing his rant, “there’s something that I’ve been curious about, and I was hoping you could answer it for me. I would’ve texted you but I knew you were coming over for dinner tonight, so I figured I’d just wait."

It took everything in you to not burst out laughing at his unexpected manic behavior. “Okay, what are you curious about?”

Have you found any substantial new evidence that would somehow be able to explain the possibility of parallel or alternate universe? Have you found out why you were sent here?

These were the types of questions you fully expected to be hit with from Junmyeon, ever the rational and inquisitive guy—

“In your universe, was I just as attractive and sophisticated as I am in this one? No, right? I’m the better Junmyeon, right?” He took extra precaution to make sure no one could possibly hear your conversation, lowering his voice down to a whisper and his eyes were wide with curiosity as they tracked your expression for a reaction.

You blinked at him for awhile before you choked out a laugh. Somehow with his insane question he managed to strangely rid the worries you had running through your head. You looked up at him and nodded, patting his shoulder as his eyes lit up in anticipation to your response. “You know, that’s a very Junmyeon number one thing to say.”

"Wait, is that how you've been referring to me in your head? Junmyeon number two?" It was funny how offended he seemed, even pointing at himself in disbelief, brows furrowed and mouth parted open.

"I mean, it is the number that comes after one, and I knew the other one first, so naturally..." You pursed your lips and shrugged nonchalantly, prolonging the teasing.

“I refuse to be known as a number two.” His face scrunched up in disgust as he said those words, shaking his head at you. Just then, you two were told that dinner was ready and you two started making your way to the table, but you couldn't help but tease him some more.

“You’re more annoying, though, number two."

Dinner was a bit bizarre for you to say the least. In the spot you clearly remembered Minseok occupying, now sat Jooyeon. You smiled fondly as you watched Mr and Mrs. Kim piling meat and more vegetables on her plate, speaking to her in the most adoring way.

It was a tender scene to gaze upon.

You’d always remembered Mrs. Kim telling you just how much she wished she had a daughter, and if you wanted to be the daughter she never had, that she’d treat you well. You didn’t doubt that for a second and it was nice to see they loved each other so much.

Jooyeon had taken hold of your hands after you helped bring the dishes to the kitchen and after you were refused in your offer to help clean and took you upstairs to her room. You figured you two were close from that action alone.

The standard interrogation about your health commenced and after you managed to ease her worries enough she switched the conversation over to Chanyeol with a gentle stare.

"So, how are you and Chanyeol doing? I can't imagine it's easy now that you lost your memories of him."

You nodded slowly, sat on her bed with her and you kept your eyes on your sock clad feet as you swung your legs softly, pondering on how to answer her question. “It’s still a little weird. I just feel bad, he’s trying so hard to get back the love he had with her...” you hadn’t noticed you had referred to the other Y/n in third person, as a separate person, out loud instead of in your head like you usually did.

“Unni,” she whined, eyes narrowed as she scolded you quietly. “Why are you talking like you’re another person?” You couldn’t help but look away from her intense gaze, only to whip around to face her again when she suddenly took your hand in hers, expression earnest and sincere. “Is that how you’ve been feeling lately?”

You sighed, “Chanyeol... is still in love with the me of the past....” Literally the Y/n of the past. Before you arrived here.

Jooyeon giggled, breaking your solemn state to gape at her in surprise, wondering what was so funny with your words. “Unni, the you of the past is you. The only thing that’s really changed about you is you losing six months worth of memories. But you gaining them back or not doesn’t affect who you are. Nor is it going to affect his love for you.”

His love for you... wasn’t meant for you.

“Chanyeol and me aren’t close at all,” Jooyeon started, glancing at you with big eyes that became the shape of crescent moons when she smiled after your prolonged state of silence, “but I do remember before you guys started officially dating, he approached me one day and asked what would be the best way to officially ask you to be his girlfriend. He wanted to impress you so bad, something you just couldn’t say no to."

“Really?”

She nodded enthusiastically, laughing a bit. “You would not believe how he wanted to ask you to be his girlfriend. He had this great idea—of course you know what I mean by great. Anyway, he obviously wanted something to do with soccer...” she started to tell you the specifics of the story but you got sucked into your own inner turmoil instead, a normalcy for you.

You were sure it was a nice story and all, probably very sentimental and affectionate just like him, but you really weren’t in the mood for a story right now. You weren’t any closer in figuring out why you were sent here, and was just racked in guilt the more time you spent with Chanyeol trying to find it out.

Jooyeon gave you a warm hug before you left, as did the rest of the Kim family. It was a nice break from your worrying and headed home feeling a little better than usual.

But it still didn’t stop you from further distancing yourself from Chanyeol.

You avoided answering his calls and texts, not knowing what to say to him at his sweet and excited offer of a picnic, managing to dwindle your guys’ interactions down to nothing more than a stranger you saw everyday.

Once again it was Saturday night, alone at home after telling your parents to take the night to themselves for their health and stress levels.

Just you and the night, you and the house to yourself, preparing to re-binge The Good Place for your stress levels. Or maybe you’d rewatch Shrek for the thousandth time. Who cares, you had no plans and nowhere to be besides your couch.

Which is why the knocking on the front door had scared you as much as it did. Your survival instincts about turned on as you sneakily looked out the peephole to slump against the door in relief, which turned into guilt.

Chanyeol.

You opened the door quietly, the two of you staring at each other for a few moments before you sidestepped to let him in, wordlessly asking him to talk. “You’re gonna let the bugs in, with you just standing there. You gonna come in or not?”

Hoping that your awkward teasing could ease this tension to being relieved about the small smile that had erupted on his lips at your words, following your lead.

He stepped towards you and you backed away instinctively and he entered your living room swiftly and you could only shut the door behind you as you and he eyed each other. “Why are you avoiding me again? Did I do something, I thought it was going well, I...”

It was his frustrated expression giving way to that sadness you’d also learned to associate with him, the ambivalence in his voice tearing you up inside.

“I’m not the person you fell in love with—” you ended spewing the true reason to ease his worries that it had anything to do with him. Just his happiness. “—and... and every time I look at you I just feel so guilty, and I’m really sorry.” You didn’t dare look at him and instead focused on the cuticles of your nails, your heart thundering in your chest as you heard footsteps coming closer.

Warm fingers wrapped around your wrists to gain your attention gently, the words being spoken as equally soft and tender. “What are you talking about? Of course you are.”

“No, I’m not.” You frowned as you said that, not knowing how to get him to understand that you were but a replica of the true Y/n he fell in love with, is in love with.

Chanyeol’s concerned face came into view before you were pulled into his embrace suddenly, his arms wrapped securely around you to hold you tight against him. “Sure, it’s taking a little longer for you to let go and trust me, and you’re a little more shy than I remember,” his words were spoken with a small laugh, an easy grin on his lips as he glanced down at you. Averting your eyes as you listened to him list the differences, he sighed softly before continuing, his arms tightening around you, “but you’re still the same unbelievably charming and adorable person. And besides, they’re just new sides of you I got to fall in love with. It was like falling in love with you all over again.”

Your breath caught in your throat and you pulled back enough to stare into his eyes in surprise, feeling so... happy.

He... was falling in love with you?

You?

He stared back at you in full earnestness, his sure expression telling you a thousand words in the silence between the two of you.

You couldn’t tell which one of you started closing the distance between you two, maybe both of you, but all you were able to concentrate on was his whisper as he leaned in closer, “I only hope you can say the same.”

“I can.” The words left your mouth unthinkingly in response to his own words, your heart thump thump thumping in your chest as you bravely pressed a small kiss to his lips, leaning up on your tiptoes using his shoulders for support as Chanyeol gazed at you like you had hung the stars in the night sky.

Reaching up and tenderly pushing fallen strands of hair behind your ears, Chanyeol leaned down the rest of the way and enveloped your lips in another kiss, a proper kiss, cradling your face and softly caressing your jaw in a manner that matched the way his lips met with yours, careful yet you could feel the yearning and longing. Incredibly soft and a bit hesitant at first, the kiss slowly grew more passionate though still maintaining that slow burn that did exactly that.

His hands slowly made their way down your shoulders and sides to settle at your hips, squeezing your flesh gingerly as he pulled you closer to him. You felt him smile into the kiss as your fingers slowly ran along his broad shoulders to feel the soft locks in between your fingertips, your lips mirroring his in an instant, subconsciously.

Suddenly wrapping his arms around your middle, he picked you up off the floor so your feet were dangling in the air, he pulled away from your lips as he swung you around like the two of you were the main characters in a cliche romcom—which you’d never admit out loud you enjoyed just a little bit.

“Will you please go on a picnic with me tomorrow?” He still had that tight grip on you, not seeming the least bit tired from holding you up as you clung to him for dear life, pouting at you from a few inches away.

Your lips still tingling with the lingering sensation of his on yours, you felt your heart about melt in your chest. Remembering the position you were in, being pressed up against him had your face flushing and you tapped his shoulders to wordlessly signal you wanted to be let down which he did without question and immediately, you taking a couple steps back as you sobered up a little, your past actions coming back to you.

“You sure you still wanna... be with me after how I’ve been treating you all this time?” You mumbled the words to the ground, shame enveloping your entire being at your behavior and you couldn’t find it in yourself to meet his eyes.

“Do you need me to declare my love for you again to get through that thick head of yours? Or maybe another kiss?” His tone turned playful his last four words he spoke, your eyes flicking from your dining room table to him in response, that cheeky smirk you were used to seeing adorned on his lips. The confidence in his stare making you almost choke on your spit as you hurried to look away, cheeks and neck warming up comically fast.

“I love you, and I think I heard you tell me you love me, too?” His gaze switched to a much softer and genuine one, an encouraging smile on his lips that replaced the smirk as he waited for you to agree with his words, a pleased look on his face, shrugging casually as he reached over to envelop your hands in his. “Then everything else doesn’t matter, not even your lost memories—oh, as long as you promise to not run away anymore and talk what you’re feeling out with me before pushing me away. Deal?”

Feeling completely at ease for the first time in a long time, you smiled and nodded at his words. “I can do that.”

“Good.” Chanyeol all but collapsed onto your couch, never letting go of your hands as he did so, situating himself as close as he could possibly sit next to you without one of you ending up on the lap of the other person, the mere idea of sitting on his lap had your cheeks on fire. He pinched your cheeks, his tone back to teasing along with a wide smile as he asked, “What are you thinking about that’s got your face so red?”

Glaring at him, you removed his hands from your face but kept the contact as you faced the television that was still going on, clearing your throat. “I’m not thinking about anything, it’s just hot in here. It’s basically summer and you’re sitting so close to me, scoot over there.”

“Okay, okay, I won’t tease you anymore, just don’t make me move. It’s so nice to finally be able to be with you like this again.” He clung to you like a koala would cling to a tree, which was funny because it seemed like a tree clinging to a koala with how different you two were in sizes. Though maybe you should compare him to a kitty or puppy with how he was rubbing his face along the fabric covering your shoulder.

Chanyeol squeezed your hand tighter in his before relaxing and laying his head on your shoulder as he realized what show was playing. “Oh, I like this show. Especially how Eleanor and Chidi kept falling in love with each other even after getting their memories erased.” His head shot up from your shoulder to shoot you a sweet grin. “Kind of like you. Which I can’t say I blame you or that you really stood a chance, I am pretty charming.”

Rolling your eyes, you playfully began detangling yourself from his hold, to which he clung to you tighter, not knowing just how much his words resonated with you but didn’t let it show. “Yeah, yeah, I just can’t escape you, huh?” His smile turned a bit puzzled at your little inside joke but before he could ask you about it, you smiled down at him and pressed a quick kiss to his lips before patting your shoulder for him to lean on again, heart racing in your chest at your brave actions and at his words as he relaxed into your hold again.

“If it was me who lost their memory, I think I’d still end up falling in love with you, too. Even if I was somehow transported to another world, and I had the extreme luck to find you wherever I was, I don’t think I could help but fall for you over and over again.”

Soccer was more difficult than you’d previously believed it to be. You thought it was just kicking a ball around a field in knee high socks, not ever having paid attention to the intricate and tedious footwork that needed to happen immediately during a match.

You honestly didn’t think it would be this hard to make a fucking goal, an as wide as the ocean goalpost, and no one was even blocking you, at least not anymore.

“Park Chanyeol! This is cheating! You’re not even on her team, you can’t just help her because she’s your girlfriend!” You snickered to yourself as your boyfriend’s lanky form happily and all too eagerly blocked the annoyed younger man as you struggled to keep the ball rolling in front of you while running like a maniac towards the goal, having tripped over your own feet more times than you’d like to admit.

Ignoring Sehun’s irritated voice as it rang in the air all the while he attempted to escape Chanyeol’s hold to steal the ball from, Jongin was so unconcerned, cackling beside him as he aided in keeping him further from you. Quickly approaching the goal, you kicked the ball into the net a few moments later, as uncoordinated as possible. It was only then that Sehun was released, his lethal glare aimed at all three of you, which you were shielded from as Chanyeol rushed over to excitedly embrace you, arms wide.

The excitement about having scored a goal came back to you and you jumped into his waiting embrace, Jongin’s cheering and Sehun’s it doesn’t count! faded into the background as you melted into his arms, not even minding the fact that the two of you were sweaty from running around in this hot weather.

“Thank you for helping me score a goal, but I feel bad you guys lost, even if it was just for practice.” You propped your chin on his chest as you looked up at him, your lips forming a subconscious pout. He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to your mouth, smiling down at you so softly that you knew he wasn’t upset about losing at all, this extremely competitive guy.

“It was Sehun’s idea in the first place, having a mock two vs. two match. He makes us practice everyday, and now you know that even the weekends aren’t safe from him hounding us. I know it’s not the most fun for you to just watch us run around the park, so I’m glad I could assist you in having some fun. Don’t worry too much.” Chanyeol tried easing your worries as you snuck another glance at a grumpy and sulky Sehun who had his arms crossed over his chest as Jongin seemed to gloat about something you couldn’t hear.

He really was upset.

Seeing where your gaze led, Chanyeol turned his head to glance over at him as well, Sehun scoffing and turning around as he did so. “Eh, he’ll get over it.” Chanyeol turned back to you with a cheeky grin on his face. “I doubt he’s upset at losing as much as he is that he lost to Jongin. Those two arranged a bet before we started playing, Sehun thinking it was an easy match to win since you, uh... play as well as a toddler does.”

Choosing to disregard the way he’d laughed as he dissed your soccer skills because they were true, you really did not play well, you tsked mockingly at him. “Wow, betraying one of your best friends for me. I didn’t know you liked me that much.”

You were sure the two of you were about to have an incredibly sappy moment, but before it could happen it was interrupted by a shout in your guys’ direction.

“Alright, she’s not allowed at practices anymore, our star player keeps getting distracted at practices.”

He rolled his eyes at Sehun’s words, stepping away but keeping an arm around your waist and kissing your temple, silently urging you not to take his words to heart. “Chill out. You’re just mad you lost.”

“I lost? We lost, you traitor.” At that, he decided he was done talking and began walking back to the center of the field, and you knew he wasn’t too mad or upset when he waved you guys over to him. “Well, what are you guys doing? The game is a week away and we need all the practice we need! Let’s go!”

Jongin had warmed back up to you pretty quickly after your relationship with Chanyeol improved, treating you warmly and it was like meeting a long lost friend, feeling weirdly comfortable around him and getting along surprisingly well when you hadn’t expected it to be so easy.

Sehun on the other hand... well, it wasn’t as if his distrust came from nowhere. He still regarded you with suspicion, something you completely understood. Responding in five words or less to anything you asked or said to him, fighting a smile at any joke you would crack, he was unrelenting.

He was locked onto your every action and word, every expression that crossed your face, especially whenever you interacted with Chanyeol around him. His intense stare daring you to break his bestfriend’s heart again on his watch. A nonverbal warning: I’m watching you.

It stung, oddly enough, but you knew you deserved it, so you didn’t push it.

As if sensing you were getting lost in your thoughts, Chanyeol squeezed your hand in his and led you to the blanket he’d laid down on the ground for you earlier. Sitting you down and placing some food, drink and your book you’d brought in front of you, he kissed your cheek sweetly and ran back to Sehun and Jongin before he got yelled at again.

Jongin shook his head at the lovesick puppy heading towards him while Sehun just eyed the two of you sternly before initiating some drills. Chanyeol made sure to get your attention from your book every now and then with excited calls of your name, shooting you wide smiles with a big wave and you would smile and wave back just as happily.

Things between you and Chanyeol were going amazing. You had no idea that you’d ever like someone this much, and you still thought you didn’t really deserve him. But he always made sure to let you know how happy he was with you, and who were you to argue when he looked at you with that smiling face?

Maybe it was because you were ridiculously happy with how things were going, but you were even branching out and willingly initiating conversations with people around you, something you’ve never done in your life past age ten.

Even your tense relationship with Sehun seemed to improve over time. You were a regular at soccer practices now, lazing around reading and yelling out encouragements from the bench. The big match was set just a few days from now, and you were handing out waters to the heavily sweaty and exhausted players and Sehun took the water you offered him with a small thanks and a smile.

Chanyeol’s answering grin matched yours as he saw how excited you were, playfully tackling Sehun to the ground, the latter fighting his laughter as he fought the other giant off him.

“Listen, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for being so hard on you, especially when you lost your memories and all.” Sehun shocked you as he sprung you with this heartfelt apology out of nowhere. “I just saw my bestfriend hurt and took it out on you. But you make him happy and I’m glad he has you. You’re okay in my book.” His expression was warm as he playfully punched you on the arm, the two of you sharing a laugh as he suddenly straightened and warned in a more serious tone, “I’m still watching you, though, and if you hurt him, you’ll be answering to me. Got it?”

You saluted him and shouted a, “Yes, sir!”

Yeah, you were happy where you were right now.

“I don’t think we’re supposed to be here after hours!” You whisper-yelled after Chanyeol’s jogging figure, trying your best to stay quiet and follow his fast pace, paranoid as you looked behind you every other second.

He led you through the fence with an easy smile, bringing you closer as he adjusted his gym bag over his other shoulder. “Come on, look, the lights are on and everything. It’s like they wanted us to sneak in. I just want to practice my aim before the big game tomorrow. It’ll help calm my nerves. Please? Hmm? Please?”

“Ugh, no fair. You’re too cute for your own good.” You grumbled your answer after he stretched out the last please, looking down at you with those wide eyes and that pout you could never say no to.

Grinning and laughing in victory, he set his bag down on the empty bench and brought his hands up to run through your hair. “That’s my line.” You shooed him away after his cheesy line, smiling to yourself as he ran to the field with the soccer ball he’d brought from home.

Graduation was coming up right around the corner and here you were, still stuck in this alternate/parallel world, whatever you wanted to call it. You still had no idea how or why you were here, but you were done complaining or contemplating.

You honestly had no idea if you would ever go back to the world you came from, but decided not to stress it too much. Things were great—more than, beyond great—here and it just felt right—

“Y/n! Look out!”

Heart rate elevating at the sudden warning, you shook yourself out of your daze and realized with impending doom that the soccer ball was very quickly and very accurately making its way right towards you.

Oh shit.

Experiencing major deja vu, gazing at the same beige walls and sat in the same stiff twin bed in the nurses room, your left temple throbbing and the now familiar feeling of an ice pack being placed on your head made you freeze.

Oh no.

You knew by now who was your company by the smell of his laundry detergent and cologne. You kept your eyesight fixed in front of you, flinching slightly as Chanyeol adjusted the ice on your bruise, afraid of the reaction he would make once you made eye contact with him.

What had changed now? What kind of life were you living now and what role did he play in your life this time? And would he play a major character no matter what life you lived?

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” his words were breathy and rushed as you flinched again as he pressed down a bit harder than he meant to, his anxious expression coming into view as you finally gathered the courage to turn your head in his direction, not liking how distressed he was.

What did you say, how did you react? Did you snap at him or tell him that everything was alright and that you were okay?

“Please say something.” Chanyeol practically begged from beside you, only growing more and more uneasy as you continued in your silent staring contest.

“Can you hand me my phone?” You asked slowly and awkwardly, watching him nod quickly and quickly hop up from his seat to where you saw your bag lay on the floor by the door, heard some rummaging and before you knew it, your phone was being carefully placed in your hand. “Thank you.” You mumbled quietly, heart racing at the possibility of either seeing his face on your screen but were instead met with familiar album cover you remembered setting.

Were you back?

It was then you noticed several messages waiting for you, your passwords being seen as correct now and you saw it was from Junmyeon, a sense of relief you so wanted to believe blossoming in your chest.

Did you give the notebook to him?

I’d rather be tutoring tbh my grandma has fed me at least 20 of those disgusting peppermints already. save. me.

also i barely managed to escaped minseok’s wrath by a few seconds lol

“We have Ms. Lee’s class together, right?” You waited with bated breath after asking that question, watching Chanyeol’s brows furrow in confusion at your odd question, studying the way you casually responded to Junmyeon’s texts, sending back yes, but come over when you can, we need to talk

“Um, yeah. Yeah, we do.” Chanyeol nodded as he answered you to which you sighed in relief at his response. So far so good.

You were back. You think.

Swinging your legs around the stiff bed, you slowly stood to your feet, eyeing his helpful hands on your arm with a bit of uncertainty. You continued to eyed him strangely as he gently offered you your bag and held the door open for you.

“Are you okay?”

“Are you dizzy?”

Jongin and Sehun surrounded you as you two exited the nurses office and you shrank back a bit from their sudden proximity and intense inspections, this scene also very familiar... yet not at all.

“Guys, give her some space.” Chanyeol emerged in the middle of you, pushing them back the tiniest bit to give you space to breathe.

“Oh, sorry. We haven’t introduced ourselves yet, huh? I’m Sehun and this is Jongin.” Their observant expressions changed in an instant to cheeky grins as they waved to you in a casual manner, like you weren’t currently sporting yet again another head injury. “We’ve seen you around school a lot, but we’ve never actually talked.”

You blinked at his words, your eyes transitioning from one to the other, remembering just how close you three got in the other world... or wherever you were. But you just nodded a little in silent greeting and turned to walk away. Like last time, you really needed to go home and make sure you were really home now.

“H-Hey, are you sure you don’t need to go to the doctors? I can help you—”

Shaking your head, you flinched slightly and told Chanyeol quickly when you saw him start to make his way over to you. “I’m fine, really. I can go by myself.” Not that you really felt you needed to go, the last time you went to the hospital for this, they just did a bunch of expensive tests that came back normal and gave you an ice pack and some painkillers in the end.

But you had a feeling you’d be going whether you wanted to or not.

“Are you sure? I just...” he offered again, a guilty expression clear as day on his handsome face, you having the strong urge to grab his hand in an effort to calm him down, but knowing you couldn’t or shouldn’t. “I just feel really bad.”

“You should.” Sehun piped up from behind him, to which you sent an amused glance to.

“As long as it wasn’t on purpose, it’s okay.”

“I swear it wasn’t.”

You nodded at his words, your previously belief of him kicking the ball at you on purpose long gone now as you stared at the transparent distress adorning his face. “I believe you, no worries. Just be careful next time.”

“She’s surprisingly laid-back for just getting knocked out. Maybe she's still out of it? I thought for sure she’d at least rip an arm or leg off,” Jongin murmured to himself after you left, eyeing the door you’d calmly exited from.

“Way to go, Chanyeol. Knocking your crush out with a soccer ball you kicked because you were trying to impress her. Might as well give up now.”

“I told her everything was fine, that I didn’t need to go to the hospital.” You sighed to Junmyeon on your bed, throwing yourself back with another sigh, placing the extra strength painkillers and your ice pack down on your nightstand after your long hospital visit, Junmyeon having rushed over once he heard the news.

“Y/n, obviously she’s gonna take you to the hospital, what if you got amnesia and lost your memories, or something? Plus you asked something weird as soon as you saw me...”

That was true. As soon as you saw your long-lost bestfriend, you asked, “How many friends am I lucky to have?” To which he answered with a confused expression, “...three?”

You erupted into laughter at that, laughing more as you saw the same confused expression spread across his face at your reaction. “Why are you laughing? This is not something to laugh about, young lady!”

“Sorry, I just thought you’d find it funny.”

“Why would I find this funny?”

You just shrugged as he stared you incredulously, as if you had lost your mind, a secret smile on your face as you thought about Junmyeon number two.

"Well, I’m glad that you’re okay, but didn’t you say you had something you wanted to talk about?"

Pursing your lips in thought, you debated telling him about the whole strange journey you’d been on, but decided that maybe it’d be better to leave it in the past, as a strange memory; a dream, nothing less and nothing more than that. “Nothing, I just missed you, best friend.” You leaned over and wrapped your arms around his middle—or at least attempted to.

“Ew, what are you doing?” Junmyeon evaded your touch at the last second, jumping up and created some distance between the two of you, pressing himself against your wall as he stared at you in obvious disgust, you glaring back at him after you regained your balance. “What do you mean you missed me, we just saw each other a few hours ago before you ran into a soccer ball.”

“Fine, I didn’t miss you. And I did not run into a soccer ball, I got hit with a soccer ball, there’s a difference.”

“Chanyeol kicked the ball at you, right? I thought he liked you and was just awkward expressing it, but maybe not if he’d do something so despicable. I’m gonna get revenge for you, Y/n, don’t worry.” Junmyeon began ranting at high speed and all you could do was stare in both mild shock and terror as the glint in his eyes grew more and more calculating. “What should I do—I know! I’m gonna give him all the wrong material for the finals so he’ll fail and—”

“Oh my god, remind me to never get on your bad side.” You grew more alarmed as more words escaped his mouth, the expression on his face growing more and more passionate as he worded his plans out loud and you hurried to stop him and clear the misunderstanding. “But I don’t think he did it on purpose anymore, so there’s no need. You can reign in your inner psycho again, please.”

“You’re even sticking up for him now? What the hell, what brought on this change, did you get hit harder than I thought?”

You smacked his hand away that was slowly approaching with narrowed eyes, before sighing. “I don’t know, just call it a random change of heart and leave it at that.”

“I’m gonna keep a close eye on you. You say you’re fine but you’re acting really weird, you know that, right?”

Simply nodding at his words, he sighed and exhaled as he made his way to your door. “Alright, well I’d better go and let my parents and Minseok know you’re okay. Call me if you need anything, but you probably won’t. You’re a big kid, you got this. Fighting.”

You snickered at his lackluster encouragement and also at him trying to slip in his support for you before insulting you; something that happened every time you got hurt. “Tell them I said hi and that I’ll visit soon. And go already. You’ve stayed too long and I didn’t have the heart to tell you to leave when you’re this worried about lil ol’ me.”

The finger is the only reply you received before you heard him yell from the staircase below moments after he left your room, “By the way, I gave Chanyeol your number! Bye, love you!”

The slight rustling of the leaves in the trees from the cooling wind mixed with the warm sun hitting your face calmed your nerves a little. You were sat on a bench located in a park close to your house, gazing up at the clouds in the ceaseless blue sky.

You’d gotten a text from Chanyeol almost immediately after Junmyeon told you he’d given him your number. He’d apologized repeatedly and to let him know if there was anything he could do for you.

Replying back that you were fine and not to worry, you’d asked him to meet you at said park after soccer practice on Friday if he had time, which was today. He’d texted back not even ten seconds later, agreeing and that he would see you there.

You remember smiling to yourself and thought that maybe he wasn’t so bad after all. Now that you were back, you just didn’t want to waste anymore time. You wanted to hash things out, clear things up... and maybe, you missed him just a little bit.

“Y/n!” The sound of your name being called by that oh so familiar voice had your head turning to the right, eyes widening as you saw Chanyeol sprinting full speed in your direction. He was still dressed in his soccer uniform, barely managing to stop himself from running into your perched figure at the last second, drenched in sweat and trying to talk through his panting. “Sorry... I came as fast as I could... you weren’t waiting long, were you?”

Shaking your head, you scooted to the left a bit, patting the bench next to you for him to take a seat to rest. “Did you run here straight from practice?” He took a seat with a grateful smile, nodding to your question. “You could’ve taken your time, it’s really nice, I don’t mind waiting a bit. I feel bad for rushing you.”

“Nah, don’t worry, I’m used to running. I just didn’t want you waiting alone long.”

Chanyeol’s words had your skin warming and you were sure it had nothing to do with the weather. He was still trying to catch his breath and you eyed his matted hair and that drop of sweat that was beginning to run down the side of his face.

Knuckle gingerly meeting the skin right above his eyebrow, you froze the next second in alarm, screaming to yourself what the hell are you doing. Wide eyes staring at each other, the two of you stayed in that position for a short while before you averted your eyes and cleared your throat awkwardly, letting your hand fall back into your lap.

He wiped the sweat off his face as best he could, scooting further from you a bit. “Sorry if I smell like sweat, I should’ve showered quick before meeting you. How’s your head?”

“I’m good. My doctor said there’s nothing to worry about as long as I take it easy the next few days.”

“That’s good to hear, I really am sorry about... everything, again.”

It was a bit of an awkward silence between the two of you and you took in a deep breath, deciding to just get straight to the point when Chanyeol spoke up before you could. “I think I know what you wanted to talk about... I-I heard from Junmyeon, when he gave me your number, that I might’ve said and done some things to make you think that I don’t like you. But I swear that’s not it and I can explain, if you let me.”

You were taken aback by his words, and you tore your eyes away from your lap to look up at him in shock. He became more nervous the longer you took to reply, hearing the gravel beneath his feet as he began shuffling them a bit. “So you don’t... hate me?”

He shook his head at your question, completely earnest as he rushed to reply. “I could never hate you! It’s just the opposite! I’m just... not good at this flirting thing...”

Eyes going wide at his admission, you felt your heartbeat thunder in your chest. “F-Flirting? This whole time you’ve been... flirting with me?”

An embarrassed look crossed his face at your question, nodding slowly. “Yeah... or at least I was trying to.”

“Oh.”

You felt bad that that was all you could say, but your mind was going a trillion miles a second trying to process the information you’d just learned. It was like your brain was correcting old incorrect flashbacks of when you thought he was out to get you, but now that you knew he wasn’t, you could now see clearly in your mind just how purely happy his smile always was whenever he saw you.

Then that time when he’d asked if you and Junmyeon were dating... And here you were thinking he was a giant jerk when really he—

“Remember when I asked you if you had any friends in class all those months ago?”

“Of course, I do. I was so embarrassed...”

“What I uh, what I actually meant to ask that day was if I could be your friend.”

“Huh?”

“I’m serious...”

You stared at him, not totally believing him, still remembering the humiliation you felt that day clearly. “So you asking me if I had any friends...” you trailed off and looked at him expectantly, needing to reassure yourself, to hear his side again to really determine if you believed him or not.

“I really didn’t mean to embarrass you, I promise. I just really wanted to become friends—I still do! You just... you kind of intimidate me, and I thought... that you’d be less likely to reject my offer of friendship if I did it publicly and it came out like that...”

“What about the, ‘Nice hair, sleeping beauty!’ comment?”

Chanyeol blinked at you, pink dusting his cheeks and the tips of his ears as he averted your eyes, gaze falling briefly on your tendrils dancing softly in the wind before quietly answering, his gaze glazing over a little as a soft smile crept up on his lips. “Well, you do have nice hair. It’s really pretty and I’ve... always liked it. But that day was the first and only time I’ve seen you with your hair up, so I was able to see your face—” he abruptly cut himself off as he felt himself begin to ramble, eyes widening as he shook his head to get back to the question at hand, he finished abashedly, “—and the sleeping beauty comment was because it was also the first and only time I’d ever seen you not show up early to school from oversleeping, so I just blurted it out... maybe I shouldn’t have done that...” He met your stare again as he offered a sheepish smile.

Your poor heart couldn’t keep up with the words you were hearing leave Chanyeol’s mouth. He was too cute. Pure.

Not a malicious thought in that brain of his. You were having trouble fighting back the smile that wanted to show itself.

“...and the, ‘What’s up, nerd? And knocking the books out of my hands?” You couldn’t look him in the eyes but when he straightened suddenly, you glanced at him, not expecting the adorable clumsiness of a reason for the incident.

“I knocked your books out of your hands when I tripped?”

It was your turn to blink at him. “You’re saying you fell?”

Chanyeol nodded slowly, a laugh escaping him. “I’m actually really clumsy. I can’t go a day without tripping on my own feet at least once. I’m really sorry I knocked them out of your hands. I was trying to get your attention so I called you nerd as a kind of a nickname of sorts, ‘cause you’re always studying hard and reading a new book every time I see you, and I remember tripping right when I was walking past you and I... got embarrassed and sped out of there... sorry.”

The more you listened to him, the harder it was to keep a neutral expression in order to not make is apparent embarrassment any worse. You didn’t want him to think you were laughing at him, but he was just so... cute. How could you have ever misunderstood him so badly?

Seemingly oblivious to the smile almost erupting on your lips, he continued without a pause. “My friend told me that girls like the confident, bad boy type. That I had to pretend that I had no interest in you whatsoever, but I still wanted to talk and see you so I just...” he trailed off, his features scrunching up as he ruffled his hair with a quiet groan. “Okay, now I see it.”

You couldn’t keep the full-blown grin anymore and burst out laughing. “Which friend told you all that? It was Sehun, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah! How’d you know it was him?” Chanyeol was smiling in response to your smile but also in amazement at how you immediately guessed right.

“Just a guess. But I don’t think he’s the best person to be getting advice from, for future reference.”

He laughed with you, breathing out a big sigh next to you. “Did I... answer all your questions?”

“You really didn’t mean to hit me with the soccer ball, right?”

“No, of course not!” He was quick to defend himself, shuffling his feet and awkwardly fiddling with his fingers as he muttered softly, “I was trying to impress you by making a goal, not realizing that you weren’t even paying attention and it somehow hit the goalpost at an angle and... I’m really sorry.”

Nodding at his answer, you ducked your head for a few seconds before interlacing your fingers into his, sending his shocked self a smile. “Okay.”

“O-Okay?”

“I can see now that I’ve misunderstood you this whole time, and I’m really sorry for that. And... if it’s okay with you, I’d like to get to know you and see where this takes us.”

It was a sensation of deja-vu;

the way he absolutely beamed down at you, his grin wide, eyes formed into crescents...

down to the way your insides felt all warm just from looking at him.

even down to his reply:

“That sounds great.”

Maybe it was worth taking a risk on people sometimes, especially when someone you least expected to becomes so special to you, becomes the first person to make you feel this way, that someone who smiles at you like that.

tag list: @rashidamesrur @totallynerdstuff @organic-hemp @etaerealboy @yasmini24 @imlonelysometimeshappy @rpavlxk @sebootyforlife @arinamesari @xxluckydreamsxx @delightpcy @buttercupbbh @coffee-prince-kyungsoo @aarohadream

i was planning on going into more detail, but it just felt right stopping it there and i really like this ending lol. no excuses yall, i’m so sorry this took so long. i’ve not had the will to write ANYTHING but here it is!! i hope yall like it as much as i do after writing for the first time after a bit. much love! ty for everyone who stuck w this series T.T ♥ ♥ ♥

#exo #exo au #exo angst #exo au scenarios #exo chanyeol #exo fic #exo fanfic #exo fluff #exo park chanyeol #exo scenarios #exo scenario #exo x reader #exo x you #park chanyeol #chanyeol #pcy #exo pcy

128 notes · View notes

dksfml · 3 months

Text

currently writing a chansoo fic where chanyeol is this burnout employee and randomly finds this small town and meets farmer kyungsoo, but he didn't know he was deaf. and ofc a promising amount of angst :D

#chansoo #chanyeol #kyungsoo #exo #do #dokyungsoo #parkchanyeol #dks #pcy #fanfic #angst #fluff #fanfiction

5 notes · View notes

loeyshandtattoo · 1 year

Text

hindsight | park chanyeol x reader

teaser, be sure to stay tuned for the first chapter!

story: growing up in a lavish lifestyle in the asian elite society living in america's fine city of new york with division among the elites, which are comprised of the upper elites, limited to the asian nobility and the lower elites, comprised of a-list celebrities and businessmen. calista, the daughter of a well-known aristocratic family, stirred up a forbidden affection with the man who happens to be her brother's best friend, a son of a businessman.

post disclaimer: a drenched chanyeol in the rain ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽ (i will cry), pregnant reader

Looking back on something so far that one can no longer have regrets had made me go over to that day, that something so special would have changed Desiree’s life forever, the night that can still alter the course of my life and hers. That one night that turns into a regret that, as the years pass, can blossom into a longing of the heart

That evening—it was heavily pouring and the fog against my window made my pointer lean in close to the window surface for me to draw a few figures and shapes, the sounds of the rain muting every noise being made outside my room—what had to draw me back to my attention was when Baekhyun burst into my chambers.

"Cali." He softly spoke and eyed me from head to toe.

I remained silent and looked over at my ankles bound to chains. Seeing all of these, I sobbed and continued to cry as I felt Baekhyun’s arm wrap me around the shoulder and shush me, despite the comfort that he was continually providing from the heat of his palms when Charity entered the room.

"Young Miss, Young Master, forgive me for interrupting, but there seems to be a commotion outside."

Baekhyun studied the look on Charity’s face and asked further, "What’s going on?"

"Sir Park is looking for the Young Miss, and your parents are confronting him, Charity said.

Baekhyun glanced back at me and asked, "Did he cause all of this?"

I can’t be the one to break up the friendship between him and Baekhyun, but I will still choose to remain silent. "Cali! Answer me!" He yelled, his voice resonating in the room, which made Charity and I flinch.

"You for sure know what I am going to do if I don’t know that bastard, Cali." Baekhyun sternly spoke, which caused me to panic and hold his wrist.

I looked over at Charity with pleading eyes, which left me no option but to tell the truth.

"I will, but if I tell you, will you promise me something?"

Baekhyun noticed the restrained ankles. "Byun Calista, what have you done?"

My parents were standing by the front door, and outside our mansion’s door was him, drenched from the heavy pouring of the rain. "Have you noticed, poor boy, that our daughter does not want anything to do with you?" My dad exclaimed as he observed him right out there, although they had not acknowledged my presence yet until my mother looked back and saw me standing behind them and had been observing all along.

"Calista, get back to your room this instant!" She yelled at me.

"No, I will not. I will speak to him myself."

My parents looked at me with those condescending looks, and Baekhyun assured me, "I will be on the lookout." They shook their heads, not sure if my brother was trustworthy enough.

"Whatever it is you have to say, Calista, we should know about this." Mother spoke as she gently grasped my elbow and my father looked at me with those stern eyes.

I sighed and nodded as I walked past my parents, still adjusting to my weak and frail body that secured the weeks-old baby with the lack of nutrition from being house-arrested for nearly a month. My heart clenched at the sight of him on his knees, perhaps with red eyes from crying and wet hair and clothes from the pouring rain. Despite the pity that I have for him, all I wanted to ask was

"What are you doing here?"

He replied with a weak smile, "I had to see you and the baby."

I scoffed and sarcastically smiled, "What makes you so sure that this baby is yours?"

This time, it was time to end things once and for all. Or so I thought.

well, finally a work that has been sitting in my word for months, but i have soooo many pcy x reader prompts that i can post, but most of them are series as well, after posting few chapters i might open the request, but i'm still looking over few guidelines on what writing style i usually follow, so that there is a common ground and write your requests to a satisfactory level. let me know what you all think of this teaser, and how this story might escalate. yours, tongyang<3

#park chanyeol x reader #chanyeol x reader #chanyeol fic #chanyeol angst #chanyeol fluff #exo imagines #exo smut #exo x reader #pcy smut #pcy angst #real pcy #exo baekhyun #baekhyun #baekhyun x reader #exowritersnet #exo writing #kpop fanfic #kpop fic #chanyeol series

16 notes · View notes

mgg-81 · 2 years

Text

Late Night Tender [P.CY]

(CREDITS TO THE OWNER OF THIS PHOTO)

A/N’s NOTE: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHANYEOL!

NOTE 2: I’m so sorry for being inactive. A lot has happened that made me halt a pile of WIPs. Here’s a birthday gift for our giant and for everyone else! This was inspired by a scene from The King: Eternal Monarch about getting the plushy.

Genre: Fluff, little angst.

Ratings and Warnings: None

Characters: Park Chanyeol X Female!Reader

Word Count: 938

Date of Publication: 27-11-2022

“Jagiya!” A shout to welcome her rang through the house once she took off her shoes, coming home from work. She wasn’t surprised as two long limbs came running clumsily toward her until they stopped directly in front of her. Sighing, she gaped up to see puppy eyes matched with an endearing smile that should’ve made her melt. But no, an unamused expression was visible on her face.

“What?” She tossed her shoes to the side.

"Come cuddle with me," Chanyeol said, opening his arms to embrace her.

“No.”

The twinkle in Chanyeol’s orbs began to dissipate as his lips turned into a pout. “Why? I need my cuddles, jagi.”

“Why don’t you hug the Rilakkuma I’ve bought you from the amusement park?” she said as she whizzed past him, not even taking a single glance at his form, which looked down on the floor as if he hadn't been given his favorite candy.

As she walked toward their shared bedroom, not even an inch of warmth flowed through her as she took a shower, brushed her teeth, and changed into comfy clothing. However, from the back of her head, memories of when she took home the bacon for Chanyeol came to her.

"Is this the place?" she wondered as she looked around the amusement park, which was almost deserted except for a few people who were still enjoying themselves in the middle of the night. The two of them found themselves in front of a booth that was filled with bottles and plushies. Chanyeol gazed at her and twisted his body left and right while nodding.

"All right," she said, pulling up her sleeve as they were greeted by a man with whom Chanyeol had a falling out. Sort-of.

“Well, you’re here again!” exclaimed the man, nodding at Chanyeol and then bowing at her. "This is your wife?”

"Yep," she said, giving the man a small salute as she finished fixing her sleeve. “I’m the wife.”

"And she'll win that Rilakkuma for me," Chanyeol says proudly, rubbing her shoulders.

The man scoffed and waved his hand playfully. “Well then, suit yourself.”

And suit the couple did.

The man’s jaw dropped as she hit every target there was. She didn’t hesitate to shoot until there was none left. Even Chanyeol, as evidenced by his grin, was taken aback. He crossed his arms at the man in a smug manner as she made sure that there was not a single bottle left to shoot.

“Well then,” she mimicked the man. “How about that Rilakkuma plushy for my husband, kind sir?”

She chuckled at the memory as she scuffled her hair to dry it as she came out of the bathroom. But while her spirits were lifted for a while, putting the name of the Rilakkuma as related to tonight’s occurrence plummeted her inner being. Once remembered how her reaction to Chanyeol was earlier, she reflected and felt bad upon knowing she had hurt her husband’s feeling like she had dumped a bucket of ice over him. She hadn’t intended to snap at him, but it wasn’t an excuse for her to be cranky and irritated.

She shuffled her way toward the kitchen and decided to drink some warm milk. And while she scraped her slippers against the floor, her breath took hold once she saw Chanyeol lying down on their sofa, not far from where she stood, hugging the Rilakkuma as he slept. While she was still a few feet away, she took a close look at his features; his pouty lips and squishy cheeks were mushed against the plush, his nose was scrunched adorably, and his eyes were fluttering due to their largeness. Letting him sleep, she decided to proceed to the kitchen to boil some water and pour some milk powder into her mug.

As she waited for the water to simmer, she jumped an as little bit as a raspy voice from behind her came about. She immediately turned around to see Chanyeol holding the stuffed animal to his side, all the while rubbing his eyes. She couldn’t help but find him adorable, like a child that had just woken up.

“Jagiya?” he asked as he dragged himself towards her and plopped half of his weight on her. A sigh escaped her lips as she softly ran her fingers through his hair, which made him nuzzle further into her neck.

“I’m so sorry about earlier, darling,” she said, holding him up to look into his eyes, which were droopy but noticeably red, which alarmed her.

“Are…are you crying?” she hesitantly asked. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. I just had an awful day, but it wouldn’t mean I should give you a cold shoulder.”

Chanyeol giggled as he looked at her worried face. “I’m not and it’s okay. I understand,” he shook his head. “I was…uh….” He stopped all the while suddenly looking like he was about to sneeze. She immediately grabbed a tissue box from the kitchen counter and handed it to him, before he let out a loud, “ACHOO!”

Turning sheepishly to face her, Chanyeol shyly rubbed the back of his neck, to which she shook her head, all the while snorting to herself.

Soon enough, shared sentiments and laughter rang throughout the house as the two of them chattered over their shared hot lemonade and milk as Chanyeol hugged the Rilakkuma tighter to his arm. She gave him a lopsided smile as if it was an item Chanyeol would treasure and would never let go of.

The plushy that she got and won for him on his birthday.

#exo #chanyeol #exowritersnet #loey #pcy #exo chanyeol #exo fanfic #exo imagines #exo scenarios #chanyeol fluff #chanyeol x reader #chanyeol fanfic #chanyeol scenarios #chanyeol imagines #chanyeol fic #chanyeol au #happy birthday chanyeol #chanyeol one shot

43 notes · View notes

imdifferentshadesofpurple · 6 years

Text

Part I of a Star and Her Spectare: a Series

Pairing: Park Chanyeol x Reader Genre: fantasy / supernatural

She was the smallest star, one of God’s favorites.

But she didn’t shine as bright because she wasn’t as big as the others yet. And because she didn’t shine as bright, she was ridiculed.

And when one is ridiculed, the best thing to do is hide.

There’s a corner of the sky, where clouds gather and the blues and purples of the day melt together.

That’s where she hides. And that’s where he always finds her.

From there she could view the world below, unafraid of the whispers and spite thrown towards her fragile body. She could perch on the edge and watch the humans.

Watch them live. Watch them love. And hope they grow.

There, in the corner, nothing hurt her. She was free to shine in any way she chose.

“Did they say something to you?”

She shakes her head vigorously, afraid of the consequences if she says yes, I am hurt.

“I am fine. I am only here to think.” “Not hide?” She scowls at the smirk that is evident within his voice.

“Cowards hide. And I am a Star of God.”

He comes to sit next to her, like he always does, but refrains from touching her.

The Spectare do not engage in such acts. They are Guardians and can extend friendship to those they watch over.

Anything more than that is against the Law.

But he knows she is sad and his heart breaks for his star when he draws her near.

“I am fine,” she insists, snuggling closer. “Yes. You are fine.” His grip tightens and he places his chin atop her head.

In this corner, they are safe. And he can love her without fear.

But fear is always present.

As is hatred. As is jealously.

And when his star returns to her corner later that night, heart a bit lighter than before, she is surprised to find others waiting for her.

Their words as sharp as their strikes. And the edge growing closer with each blow.

When she falls, he feels it.

He watches over many stars and can sense when something is wrong.

But with her, it’s like a pain that’s only been described to him. Like a scorching fire burning his blood.

He knows she’s fallen and when a star falls, its guardian is sent down to Earth.

So he prepares and waits for God to summon him.

“It could be centuries before you return my child.”

He doesn’t care. She has fallen.

So he will bring her home.

#sfw #exo #exo fanfic #exo series #PCY #PCY fanfic #PCY series #exo park chanyeol #exo park chanyeol fanfic #exo park chanyeol series #exo chanyeol #exo chanyeol fanfic #exo chanyeol series #park chanyeol #park chanyeol fanfic #park chanyeol series #kpop #kpop fanfic

39 notes · View notes

yeolsmuffin · 7 years

Text

Always Afterall - Chanyeol

“At the end of the day, you’ve always got me.”

Genre: Angst, Fluff || two-shot

Pairing: chanyeolXreader

Word Count: 11.7k

The followup and resolution to Always.

| Part 1 - Part 2 |

Love was a messy subject.

It was even messier when a love after years came to an end.

But sometimes, there is one person who wants to help you clean up.

One of best ways to get over a break up was to eliminate all reminders of that person from your life.

For you, that was an issue for two reasons.

One, your whole apartment was filled with furniture that you had bought with your ex. Every detail of the apartment had been carefully thought out together.

Two, you didn’t know if you were ready to be over it. The problem with that reason was it had been four years since he broke your heart. Four years since your seven-year-long relationship came to an end. Four years and you still couldn’t pick it up.

Although, now more than ever it was crucial for you to get over it and that was because said ex-boyfriend was now a married man.

He had married while you were still reeling. He had married and found happiness while you were trapped in darkness.

You had gone to the wedding because he invited you. Not only had your ex been the love of your life, but before that, he was your best friend for four years. The two of you had a history together so you guessed he would have felt weird if he didn’t invite you.

During the wedding, the two of you met eyes and the happiness was so evident on his face that it made you break down. You cried in the back of the church as two of your best friends clutched tightly onto you.

To you, as someone who still loved Kyungsoo, you wanted his happiness more than anything but even so, it hurt that his happiness no longer was because of you especially since it had been for so many years - or so you thought.

After the wedding, you were a wreck. It felt like you had to grieve all over again.

This time unlike before, Chanyeol didn’t let you.

Before, he gave you your space because you forced him out of your life. You forced out anyone who tried to get too close and anyone who looked at you with pity in their eyes. Chanyeol wasn’t only your friend, but Kyungsoo’s so it was hard for you to hold onto him when all he did was remind you of Kyungsoo.

Now, Chanyeol wasn’t going to let you push him out. He was persistent. More so than any of your other friends as when you lost Kyungsoo, you pretty much lost everyone else.

Every day when you got off from work after the wedding, Chanyeol was waiting in the living room of your apartment. You threw a huge fit about it but of course, you were the one who initially had given the keys to your place to both him and Baekhyun.

You nearly screamed out of fear when you saw Chanyeol's large figure sitting on your couch when you came home from work. For so long you had grown used to coming home to an empty apartment and it was a shock to have someone waiting for you when you got home. You had to admit that it did feel kind of nice to not be alone even if you were mad that he didn't warn you.

His eyes watched you as you advanced on him. "God Chanyeol, you could have given me a heart attack. What are you doing here?"

Completely ignoring your question, Chanyeol stood up and put his hands on your shoulders. "You're going to stop loving Kyungsoo and start loving yourself."

The moment he said his name, you shook him off and pushed him away. "Just go Chanyeol. You think you’re going to help but nothing will help me," you spat. Chanyeol’s request may have seemed out of nowhere but you knew he was just tired of you torturing yourself.

But he wasn't going down without a fight. "I should have done this a long time ago. I shouldn't have let you suffer for so long without doing something but I guess I never realized how bad you were off until the wedding. I mean I knew you weren't over it but I never realized how in love with him you still were."

It was true. You were still madly in love with the man who had hurt you. You weren't even close to over it and you often dreamt that he would come home, take off his shoes and pull you into his arms the way he always did. You dreamt that he would bring you home a new book once a week and read it with you the way he had so many years ago. There were so many parts and pieces of Kyungsoo you missed; there were parts that wouldn’t leave your heart no matter how much they hurt you.

He was your past and that wasn't something your body was willing to accept. Your body still craved his touch and you swore that you were made to fit perfectly in his arms even though he thought different. Whoever he married he believed to be his person, his other piece who fit in his life better than you. What made it worse was that he had settled down with her after less than four years together whereas he had been with you six years and never purposed. You felt less than her and that was enough to make you spiral.

"Chanyeol, you need to go," you cried out as you pushed past him and went towards your bedroom.

He followed after you, "I'm not leaving you. Not like this. It's been four years, Y/N."

"I know," you screamed. "I know it's been four years. Do you think that makes it any easier to deal with?" You cried. "Do you think that makes me love him any less? You don't understand Chanyeol, you'll never understand. He was the only one I will ever love. I can't just get over it." Feeling defeated, you collapsed to the ground in front of your bedroom door and cried into your hands. "It hurts, Chanyeol. It hurts so bad."

He let out a sigh and came down to the ground with you. "I know it hurts. But it won't stop hurting until you are ready for it to stop."

As you sobbed, you pulled you into him. "Don't you think I would if I could?"

"You haven't tried."

But Chanyeol was right. You hadn't even tried getting over Kyungsoo. Instead, you mourned over the loss of him and told yourself you would never get over it. You cried and played victim for so long that you hadn’t even realized it.

Chanyeol didn't push the subject further and helped you get off the floor and move to your bedroom where he stayed with you until the tears finally stopped.

For a week Chanyeol let you cry. He continued to come to your house every night and sit with you as you mourned but when seven days had passed, he was done letting you grieve.

"Rise in shine," Chanyeol sang as he pulled back your blinds on an early Sunday morning.

"Chanyeol, let me sleep," you grumbled as you put a pillow over your face. "It's my only day off."

Using his strength to his advantage, he yanked the pillow from your tight grasp and gave you a smile. "What a perfect day to clean up your life," he exclaimed as he grabbed your arm and pulled you from your place in your bed. "Now go shower and put on something other than sweatpants."

Even though you rolled your eyes, you did as Chanyeol said. After loving someone and crying over them for so long, you thought that there must be a point that you got tired of hurting and Chanyeol made you realize that you were at that point. So you dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. Hell, you even made an effort to fix your hair.

Chanyeol gave you another bright and goofy smile when he saw you exit from the bathroom. "What in this apartment reminds you of him?" He asked as he dragged you along with him through the hallway.

You snorted. "What doesn't is a better question."

"Okay, humor me. What doesn’t remind you of him?"

Narrowing your eyes, you looked around the apartment and tried to think. Every time you walked towards something and touched it, memories of Kyungsoo would flood your vision and it would make you teary-eyed. Chaneyol put a hand on your shoulder when you had picked up a vase next to your TV and a tear had fallen.

"You should get rid of that," Chanyeol said simply as he tightened his grip on your shoulder.

You gave him a look of disbelief. "Chanyeol. Kyungsoo gave this to me for our third anniversary. This vase was once filled with a dozen red roses that Kyungsoo had picked himself from his grandmother's garden," but once you finished speaking, your mouth formed an 'o' and you stared at the vase. Just because it had special meaning with Kyungsoo didn't mean you had to hold onto it. Kyungsoo had left you. He had chosen a different life.

A life without you.

It was time to let go. Just as Chanyeol said.

But why did it feel like you would burst at the seams if you got rid of it? Why did it feel like you couldn’t let go even if he loved someone else?

"You're holding on to it because there is a part of you that hopes he'll come back. You feel like if you don't keep these things that you'll lose your chance to be with Kyungsoo when he comes back. But, Y/N, he isn't coming back." You looked at Chanyeol with teary eyes and clutched the vase tightly between your fingers. "You have to let it go. Maybe not today but someday." Gently, he pulled your fingers from the vase and sat it back down. "Let's start smaller. Something that wasn't a gift. Do you have something not crucial that you bought with him?"

Nodding slowly, you gave the vase one last gaze before walking into the kitchen. You felt numb as the stark realization of Chanyeol’s words hit you. Kyungsoo wasn’t coming back and maybe part of you had been grasping to the idea of that. You pulled yourself to reality and thought about what would be the easiest to get rid of. Something you didn’t have the best memory associated with and then your eyes fell on one of your cabinets. "The pots and pans. Kyungsoo and I bought them together when we were shopping for things for the apartment before we moved in. We argued over whether to get the white or black set for thirty minutes before settling on the blue set."

Without hesitating, Chanyeol started gathering the pots and pans from their place tucked inside the cabinet on the left side which is exactly where Kyungsoo always nagged you for putting them. He sat them on the counter and looked at you. "Is this it?" He asked as his eyes examined the blue glazed pots and pans.

Shaking your head, you reached for the utensils that were in stainless steel holder and handed them to Chanyeol. "These came with the set."

He nodded and pulled out his phone, typing a few things and causing you to look at him in confusion. "I'm making a list of new things you'll need when we're done."

After searching your apartment for several minutes, you and Chanyeol found a cardboard box and filled it with the pots and pans. You walked with him out of your apartment and to the parking lot so you could watch him throw away the first piece of Kyungsoo but instead of throwing them away, Chanyeol dumped them out onto the pavement behind his car and after slipping your hands into gloves, he retrieved a steel baseball bat from his car. Handing it to you, he gave you a grin.

"Go on, take your anger out," he whispered as he moved away and left you to stand awkwardly in front of pots and pans.

"You want me to hit them?" You asked as you stared at the blue pots and you remembered the way Kyungsoo had laughed once you guys were finally able to agree on that set. He had kissed your forehead gently before tucking you into his arms and pushing the shopping cart towards the bath towels. The memories made you want to run straight back to your apartment but Chanyeol's gaze kept you still. The warmth of his eyes settled you in a way you hadn’t been in a while.

He nodded. "You have distinct memories of buying those pots and pans. Kyungsoo loved you but he crushed your heart. Crush the pots and pans the way he crushed you."

It didn't take much more coaxing than that for you to raise the bat and bring them down over the pots and pans. You didn't have enough upper body strength to completely smash and ruin them but enough to make them unusable and once you had ended up in a crying fit of rage and continued to hit the same pot for ten minutes, Chanyeol pulled the bat from your hands and let it hit the ground.

He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and let you sob all the anger and sadness out that you could.

That same day, you had gathered a box of most of your kitchenwares apart from the mugs Kyungsoo bought you every year for Christmas and your birthday. In the parking lot with the same bat – and protective glasses thanks to Chanyeol – you smashed the glasses with the silver flecks in the bottom, the flatware set that had stupid handles, the glass Tupperware Kyungsoo's mother got you, and more miscellaneous pieces of kitchenware until you barely had anything left in the kitchen to cook with.

"I am so proud of you," Chanyeol said once you had finished and the two of you picked up the parking lot of kitchen tool debris. "Now let's go buy you new kitchenware," he said with a laugh.

Chanyeol went with you to a completely different store than you had gone to with Kyungsoo – you assumed because the store you had always gone to before, was Kyungsoo’s favorite.

Walking into a store specifically to buy things for your apartment felt weird since the last time you had done it, you had Kyungsoo with you. It was uncomfortable and you couldn't help but feel a little empty inside. But there was Chanyeol, who was next to you with a bright smile and bright eyes.

"What pots and pans set do you want?” He asked when the two of you turned down the aisle. Chanyeol has his body leaning on the cart as he stared at you.

You shrugged. “Just something practical I guess. Something just for one person.”

He gave you a look. “Come on. That’s boring. What is something wild and crazy that you always wanted?”

“It’s a pots and pans set, Chanyeol. How wild can it get?”

He narrowed his eyes. “I’ve known you almost as long as he. Sure maybe not as intimate,” you felt your cheeks flush, “but I do know that you want more than just a boring pots and pans set. What’s the one you truly wanted?”

Chanyeol was right. There was always something silly you wanted but those were things Kyungsoo never let you decorate with because they weren’t practical and they were slightly childish. When you walked towards the pumpkin themed pots and pans, Chanyeol lit up. “Kyungsoo said that themed household items were gimmicks to make you buy several of the things you already owned. That they made holiday-themed things cuter and cuter just so you’d be conned into buying them. Little does he realize that maybe I wanted to have pumpkin themed pots all year because I like pumpkins.”

Chanyeol nodded eagerly as you struggled to lift the box of heavy stainless steel and Chanyeol ran over to your aid, giving you a goofy smile as he gently sat the box in the cart. “Good choice. I knew someone as interesting as you wouldn’t have settled for blue pots and pans.”

By the end of the shopping trip, your cart was filled with mismatch kitchen supplies. From mixing bowls with cats on them to the polka dot measuring cups, you had everything you ever wanted that would have made Kyungsoo cringe in the past.

Before you could check out, you had your eyes set out on a display of white bath towels. Chanyeol followed your gaze and smiled as your eyes lit up. “He never let me have white bath towels because he said they would just stain. I’ve always wanted white bath towels.”

Chanyeol pushed the cart in the direction and put a few in that cart. “Good, let’s get all white then. Who cares if they stain? They’re towels.”

You nodded fiercely as you smiled at your new towels. “I’m going to get stains on every one of them.”

Chanyeol laughed and gave you a gaze filled with warmth.

And it was like that that Chanyeol helped you slowly push Kyungsoo out.

The kitchen, bathroom, and living area were mostly easy. Over the span of two months, you had mostly new furniture and decorations but there were still small pieces you couldn’t touch.

Like your sheets.

Maybe to some people, it was gross to not change out your sheets for four years but for you, it was something you didn’t even think of. These were sheets Kyunsgoo loved and comforted you on. Sheets he made love to you on. Sheets that still faintly smelled like him if you thought hard enough. Maybe that was why Chanyeol was pushing you so hard to get rid of them.

It wasn’t that easy though. Getting rid of sheets would be losing another part of Kyungsoo – a part Chanyeol nicely reminded you that you no longer had.

“It’s easy to get rid of things like bowls and shower curtains but our sheets? That’s tough.”

Chanyeol looked at you with sympathy as the two of you stared at your bed stripped of all covers but the bed sheets. “But you feel better having new things without his memory. You’ve been doing so well. You seem happier. This is still holding you back though. Besides, they aren’t ‘our’ sheets anymore. They’re yours and they’re a burden,” he pointed to the grey sheets.

Shrugging, you stared at the sheets. You could practically envision the way Kyungsoo used to cuddle you under his chin in a protective hold. You could hear the sweet words he would whisper in your ear as he nodded off to sleep. You could feel the soft beat of his heart thumping against your ear as you nuzzled into the warm sweaters he often wore to bed. The two of you wrapped in those sheets were some of the best memories you had but yet at the same time, they were some of the toughest memories. Every time you remembered these memories you found your brain screaming at you asking you what you had done to make him stop loving you.

That was the issue.

Why were you so obsessed with thinking it was your fault? Why did it have to be your fault? It could have been because you were the one left in love. Kyungsoo never made you stop loving him so it had to be something you did, you thought. In reality though, why blame yourself for someone falling out of love with you? Maybe it was he who never loved you enough.

It was the truth even though it made you get an uncomfortable twist in your stomach. He didn’t marry you nor did he propose to so maybe he never felt that way. Could you really think that it was your fault for someone else’s emotions?

No. You shouldn’t think that.

It was time that you stopped living a life where you blamed yourself for something that you had no control over.

Chanyeol watched you as you stayed deep in thought. He didn’t push you to speak and just let you go through the motions as his warm eyes stayed on you.

“I can remember the way he used to hold me. The way he used to smell. The sound of his voice as he said he loved me. As I remember it, I just don’t understand why. I really loved him so what went wrong? What’s it like to you?” You always wondered what an outsiders take on the whole situation was but you had been too scared to hear the answer before. Now, you assumed you could handle it.

“It’s like watching two people I always imagined being together being pulled apart by something deeper than fate. I never imagined he would leave you so I was as shocked as you. While I can’t say I’m happy you are hurt, I’m happy he left,” Chanyeol admitted

Taken aback, you looked at him oddly. “Why?”

Putting an arm around your shoulders, Chanyeol let out a breath. “He left because he didn’t love you enough. He left because he didn’t see the two of you together any more and that was him making the best decision for you. It hurts you and I think he was stupid for not loving you enough because shit, you’re one of the best people I know but he did what he should. If he stayed with you and he didn’t love you, it would have hurt more than just him. He just left before it could hurt you that way.”

You thought about his words for a few moments and then nodded. “You’re right but that doesn’t mean it hurt any less.”

“Of course not. I just wish it didn’t go on so long. I wish maybe he would have seen it sooner.”

“Me too,” you said as you looked at your sheets.

“At the end of the day, you’ve always got me,” Chanyeol picked something up and handed it to you. Looking down, you realized it was a new sheet set. This one was covered in polar bears with sweaters on. Something sweet and so like Chanyeol’s taste… but also so like yours. In no way was it bland like the gray plain sheets Kyungsoo had insisted on and that made you love them more. Chanyeol knew just what you liked and instead of a painful reminder attached to these new sheets, you had a good one. Your cheeks flushed as you sat the sheet set down and began to undress your mattress.

Chanyeol smiled at you before coming over to help you. “How do you feel about burning these?”

You paused for a moment and then nodded as you tore the sheets the rest of the way off. “Let’s do it.”

It started with the sheets but eventually, alongside the sheets, you ended up with a box compiled of pictures and some of Kyungsoo’s notes he had left for you around the house when you were in the prime of your relationship.

This time, you burned them in Chanyeol’s fire pit as the two of you sat together on a wooden bench in his backyard. Baekhyun would have come but like many people your age, he had a family now. A wife, newborn baby, and love. Maybe it was just you and Chanyeol but even so, it didn’t feel lonely.

It was a chilly night and you stared at the crackling fire as Chanyeol made you a s’more.

“What about you?” You asked as Chanyeol handed you the graham cracker filled snack.

He paused. “What about me?”

“You know. Love. Don’t you have anyone occupying your mind?”

Not meeting your eyes, Chanyeol stuck another marshmallow on his skewer. “I’m content with how things are now. These past few months I’ve found comfort in having a friend by my side,” he said smiling at you. “That’s all I could ask for.”

“But don’t you want more?” You pressed. “Something deeper? Like me and Soo…” you trailed off and stared into the woods that was lining the back of Chanyeol’s house.

He shook his head. “No, Y/N. What you had with Soo was great when it was but when I commit, I don’t plan on giving up when things get rough.” By the look in his eyes, you could tell that there was something Chanyeol didn’t want to talk about so even though you were worried, you didn’t push him.

One Sunday when you were cleaning your apartment with Chanyeol, you pulled out the mugs Kyungsoo had gotten you. It wasn’t something you did consciously so when you had realized what you had done, you stared at the mugs in shock.

The mugs were special and just looking at them hurt.

Chanyeol had been vacuuming the living room for you and when he came to dump the vacuum out, he found you staring at them. “What is it?” His warm voice called out.

You turned towards him, feeling your cheeks heat up at the way his eyes danced around your form. “The mugs he got me. I took them out of the cabinet without even realizing I did. I think I’m ready to get rid of them,” you said subconsciously.

He did a little dance and his face lit up, “I’ll get the bat.”

But you had another idea.

Laughing, you held a hand out to him. “There is plenty of other stuff to break, Yeol. I was actually thinking of sending him a few of them.”

“Why?” he said, perplexed.

You shrugged. “When he left, he didn’t take anything I had given him. I think it’s not fair that I have to deal with getting rid of our couple stuff alone so I thought I would send him these and give my final goodbyes.”

Slowly as if you were an injured and scared animal, Chanyeol approached you. “Goodbye? But we still have so much to get rid off that you won’t let go of.”

“I think I’m ready to start trying. Starting with these mugs. I’ll send them to him and let him get rid of them in his own way. Maybe give him closure too.”

Chanyeol pulled you into a hug. His warmth surrounded you and made your cheeks flush. Chanyeol had a special scent that filled your senses in a way you couldn’t explain. You could have stayed wrapped in a hug from him all day. “I’m really proud of you.”

The two of you met eyes as you looked up at him and it sent shivers down your spine. His gaze was intoxicating and it had you feeling funny inside. It wasn’t a feeling you could place a finger on but nonetheless, it was a good feeling. He flushed and then looked away while all you could do was smile.

He pulled away and cleared his throat. “I’m going to the post office to get that box for you.”

You nodded slowly as you watched him leave.

Once Chanyeol was out the door you felt like you could finally breathe a sigh of relief. Somehow when he was around, you felt like you couldn’t breathe but it wasn’t suffocating. It wasn’t as if it was a toxic loss of air but yet one that made your heart palpitate and your lips unable to form coherent words.

As your head swirled with thoughts of the warmth Chanyeol brought you, you searched for a pen and paper.

As if it was fate, you found a notepad that Kyungsoo special ordered you for your birthday with cheesy small pictures of the two of you as the border. Sighing to yourself, you sat down and folded the pictures back so that all that could be seen were the lines.

Kyungsoo,

It was you who once told me that love never fades.

You either always love someone or you never did.

Sometimes fate has an odd way of working.

I hope you are finally happy.

Always,

Y/N

Tears were in your eyes as you signed the letter and Chanyeol was back before you knew it. He spotted your tear stained cheeks and he swept you into a warm embrace before you could even speak.

“Maybe you can finally start to be happy,” he whispered in your ear.

Wrapping your arms more tightly around him, you smiled through the tears. “I am happy.”

“I was thinking,” you said to Chanyeol one Friday night when the two of you were watching a movie on your new couch.

Chanyeol hummed as he nuzzled into the blanket he had wrapped around him. “What’s that?”

“My lease is up in a month. I think I should move out.”

He stared at you in surprise. “Really?”

“That’s the final step, right? I got this apartment with him.”

He nodded but continued to look at you with wide eyes until he trailed his gaze over to the vase that was next to the TV. The vase that was now stuffed with the only remains of your and Kyungsoo’s relationship. Love letters, pictures, and just random memorabilia.

You stared at the vase with a sigh. So maybe moving wasn’t the last step. Before you could realize what you were doing, you stood up and felt overwhelmed with anger. Your vision blurred as you grabbed the vase so tight, your knuckles nearly went white. Chanyeol was calling your name as you went into the kitchen and spilled all the contents onto the counter.

Chanyeol called out to you as he followed you into the kitchen.

The vase in your hands made you shake. This was the last bit of Kyungsoo you had left but in reality, it wasn't even a piece of him anymore. Kyungsoo had left you, fell in love with someone else, and built a life without you.

You wasted four years of your life pining for someone who never loved you enough.

It took you so long to see that you were living in the shadow of a love that was never truly enough – a love that wasn't even real.

The memories of Kyungsoo holding you and caressing you were no longer haunting you because your new memories took priority. Your memories with Chanyeol as he helped bring you back to sanity. You found that you no longer wanted any more memories of Kyungsoo but instead memories with Chanyeol.

How he held you and reassured you that everything would be okay when you were sure it wouldn't. The way he knew the perfect tone to talk to you in when you were on the verge of tears. Chanyeol himself was what you wanted to be reminded of and as you thought of that, you found yourself placing the vase in the sink and bringing the handle end of one of your knives down onto it. The glass let out a loud shatter as the back of the knife met it and Chanyeol was instantly behind you and pulling you away from the sink.

Chanyeol grabbed the knife from you and dropped it into the sink. "You cut yourself, Y/N," he said in a worried tone as he pulled you back towards the sink and turned the faucet on. "What were you thinking?"

You stared up at Chanyeol, watching as his brown eyes narrowed and his thick brows furrowed. He cleaned your wound on your hand with cold water before stopping the faucet and reaching under the sink for the first aid kit – that he insisted you own after you had kept hurting yourself as you bought and moved around your furniture and decorations. He started to clean the wound as you kept your eyes on his face. Was he always this handsome, or had you never noticed? Did his lips always look so perfect when he pouted? Did Chanyeol always look so kissable?

When his gaze met yours for a moment, you were pulled from your thoughts. You blushed immediately and looked down. What just happened? Why were you thinking like that? You shook your head a few times to try to clear it but all you could see was an imagine of you kissing Chanyeol.

Chanyeol raised a brow. "What?" He asked as he wrapped one of your fingers in a band-aid.

"Nothing," you laughed nervously.

He scoffed, "Don't lie," he said as his face moved closer to yours, "I know when you're lying."

He dropped your hand slowly, the warmth of his fingers leaving you grasping on the inside for his warmth.Your body practically screamed as you stepped slightly away from him and you moved your hands back to the memories the vase once held that you had poured out on the counter. "Just ready to get rid of these, that's all."

While you shuffled the papers nervously between your hands, Chanyeol came up behind you. Just smelling his cologne tonight was making you dizzy. Suddenly his every touch and movement was driving you wild and this was proven as he placed a gentle hand on your shoulder. "Are you sure you're ready for this?"

You nodded, too afraid to meet his gaze that was so close to your face. "I'm ready," you whispered as you reached for a lighter and slowly you ignited every piece of paper and memory over the sink where the broken glass and drips of blood laid.

With the mugs shipped off to Kyungsoo and only a few stray belongings of his, you started to pack up your apartment.

Before, moving would have been too painful. Everything you had owned before had the Kyungsoo stamp on it but now, all of that was gone. The few items you had left were tucked into a small bag that was at Chanyeol's house so you could burn them – which was the final step in putting Kyungsoo behind you.

You hadn’t had a full plan of where you were moving to but you knew you could always stay with your parents while looking for a place. Although, that was the last resort option because your parents had this way of looking at you that made you shiver under their gaze. They looked at their daughter as if she had been built up only to be torn down and it seemed like a slight disappointment. You couldn’t blame them much. Just like everyone around you, they loved Kyungsoo. They saw how smart, careful, and calculated he was. And then there was you, emotional, clumsy, and unsure. Looking back, it made sense why the two of you didn’t always fit together like the puzzle pieces you swore you were. Instead, you were jamming two pieces together that barely fit, even though they didn’t match.

Did the realization mean you loved Kyungsoo from those times less? No. You still remembered how feverish and passionate the love was. You remember how every touch of his sent your heart into overdrive. But you no longer lived in that time and you were finally getting accustomed to it.

It only took four an a half years.

This time, having a friend was crucial.

You pushed everyone away after Kyungsoo left you. You lost Bo and some other semi-close girlfriends. You pushed Jongin, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol away but even so, Baekhyun and Chanyeol seemed determined to not stay away. They always listened to your wishes but that didn’t stop them from texting or calling to check on you a couple times a week, even when you wouldn’t answer.

Now Chanyeol was proactive. He wasn’t standing by and letting you mope. He told you that you had to get over Kyungsoo and you knew that was what had helped you get over him. You needed a push and Chanyeol pushed you in the best ways possible.

He was like an angel to you but an angel that you were slowly realizing, you felt too many weird things for.

His touch would linger well after his hand was gone, his eyes drew you in like magnets, his voice calmed every anxious bone in your body, and his scent smelled exactly what you imagine comfort smelled like.

Were you falling for him just because he was the only one to show you affection after Kyungsoo? No, no. You couldn’t be falling for him. You didn’t fall for your guy friends. Not Baekhyun, not Jongin, and definitely not Chanyeol. You never felt for them before so what changed?

It wasn’t as if you weren’t used to Chanyeol’s touches. He was always one of the most cuddly and touchy out of the group. Something which once drove Kyungsoo crazy and now it was driving you crazy.

So what was going on?

Why were you starting to stare at Chanyeol’s lips and dream of what they felt like?

What was making you blush every time he took boxes out of your hand to carry them himself while you packed up your apartment?

What was making you tremble under his very gaze?

“So…” Chanyeol trailed off as the two of you sat on the ground of your box filled apartment. You snapped your attention to him and your hands immediately fell into your lap, twisting and trembling together as you watched his deep eyes prodding yours. “You haven’t found a place yet,” he said as more of a statement than a question. He waited for you to respond.

You nodded slowly. “No, there are only a few days left before I need to be out of here. I just don’t have time to find another place so I’m going to stay with my parents.” You were shaking under his intense gaze and you were begging for him to stop looking at you so you could breathe.

He put a hand in the air, moving it as he spoke, “But, they are an hour away. Your commute will be horrendous.”

“I was thinking of looking for a new job or transferring,” you said with a sigh. Even if you’re co-workers looked at you pathetically sometimes, you had been at your job since college and you weren’t ready to relocate. It was your home.

“Hear me out,” he said enunciating each word. “I own a home. A big home. Four bedrooms for one person. It’s too much. I don’t have time to look after the house by myself and since Jongin moved out a couple years ago, it’s been lonely.”

You froze. Was he asking what you thought he was?

“Come stay with me. As long as you need, no strings attached. I have plenty of space and it would be really nice to be able to see you more often. That way I know you aren’t moping around all day.”

“Chanyeol,” you started not sure where you were going with your words. “At our age, living together doesn’t work. What if you want to bring a girl home and even if you tell me ahead of time and I stay out of the house, what if she sees me and it ruins it everything?”

He stared at you a moment before letting out a laugh. “Is that what you’re worried about? Is that the only thing?” No, also because you were afraid to be that close to him all the time and you were afraid if he dated that you might be jealous. You groaned to yourself, you weren’t even safe in your own mind. “I won’t be being girls home,” you sighed. Of course not. He could go to their house. You dropped your gaze but Chanyeol shufflers towards you and touched your shoulder. “I have no interest in anyone like that right now. I am too focused on other things to even think about bringing a girl home. Why is that your concern? Are you wanting to bring men home?”

Chanyeol was leaning into you so close and you could feel the warmth that radiated from him. You wanted to climb into his arms. “N-no.”

“If you do, it’s okay,” he said while pinning you with an intense gaze.

“I don’t want to, I’m not interested in bringing someone home,” you said but your voice was clearly detached and you sounded a bit like a robot.

He smiled at you, a smile that could kill. “So you'll move in with me then? Please, I promise I won’t bother you and this way you don’t have to get another lease.”

And even if your stomach said it was a bad idea and your heart was screaming that I was a great idea, you agreed and when Chanyeol pulled you into a hug, you nearly lost all will to breathe.

How would you handle him as a roommate?

You weren’t handling being his roommate very well at all. You finally remembered what having a crush was like after several years. The last crush you had was Kyungsoo and never in your life had you imagined having another. You thought you would die loving Kyungsoo but that wasn’t it at all. You would have been killed from loving Kyungsoo and now that you no longer yearned for his every touch, you could live.

You could live a full and happy life as long as you kept pushing forward.

Even if some nights you still dreamed of Kyungsoo’s touch, you knew you could go on.

But now, your dreams were filled with Chanyeol and it was borderline unhealthy. You knew it was only a matter of time before you would have to leave him and forget the chance your heart wanted you to take. You couldn’t love again. You couldn’t like again. You couldn’t try again.

Although it seemed your heart was already trying.

Chanyeol was becoming your oxygen in the best and worst ways. Knowing just how to keep you breathing or to make you hold your breath when necessary.

His gaze was like hot coals to a fire. His gaze was nearly fire itself.

His touch was worse. It left lingering want on your skin for hours, days, and weeks.

Just one brush of his fingers while he stared into your eyes was enough to make you stay holed up in your room at night.

It was dangerous to be around Chanyeol and the days were becoming numbered because the more you stayed near him, the harder it was to tell yourself you needed to leave.

You had to run before you were broken again. You had already been ruined once and couldn’t take heartbreak again. At least that’s what you told yourself even if every day was heartbreak in itself since you couldn’t stop feeling things for Chanyeol.

“What has been on your mind? You’ve been so quiet lately. Are you hurting because of him still?” Chanyeol asked gently as he took a spot on your bed once the two of you had returned from grocery shopping.

Shaking your head gently, you let out a puff of air. “No, I’m okay.”

Chanyeols large eyes crinkled at the sides, “Wow, that was the first time you said that and I actually believed you.”

You shrugged. “I still think about him and it still hurts. Fuck, it hurts but most days, I can still get through. Being around you makes things seem less heavy.’

He smiled brightly at you. “Didn’t I tell you that moving in with me was a great idea?”

One of his hands brushed over your forearm.

“I won’t let what he did ruin you anymore,” he sighed. “And I’m sorry for the pieces it did ruin but I’ll undo the damage. No matter how long it takes.”

Chills traveled up your arm from his touch and down your spine but you still sighed. “Eventually you have to have a life of your own, Chanyeol. Rebuilding me is not your job.”

He scoffed. “But it’s a job I want,” he said softly as he moved closer and touched your chin gently with his free hand. “I’m right where I want to be.”

In that moment, you could feel the air being sucked out of the room and your lungs tried to grasp for air that wasn’t there. Chanyeols gaze was hot on you and your skin started to crawl. “Chanyeol…?” His name fell from your lips before you could stop it and he cocked his head as he heard the tremble in your voice.

“Hmm?” He mused as his fingertips grazed the skin on your arm gently.

“I don’t understand.”

He shrugged, “You will. Just understand this. I won’t stop until Kyungsoo is a distant memory. I won’t stop until you forget what it was like to love him.”

For many reasons as the weeks passed by, you tried to avoid Chanyeol. The best you could. But there were nights like this, nights that Baekhyun, Jongin, and Chanyeol decided that they wanted a friends night. A night where all of you hung out together without significant others the way you did in high school. Of course, there was an element to this that was missing, Kyungsoo.

It wasn’t that you minded and in fact, you were happier that he wasn’t there but still, you wondered if the three boys missed him. You wondered why the included you and not him.

Apart from thoughts of him, you couldn’t keep your mind off the tall brown haired boy next to you. His large hand splayed on the armrest and teetering a little too close for your hearts safety.

You wondered briefly what it would be like to encase your hand in his. You were sure Chanyeol had held your hand before but that was when you weren’t feeling like this. That was before the thought of Chanyeol made you react in a way that was unhealthy.

“What are you thinking of?” Baekhyun whispered in your ear as the four of you sat in chairs at the movie theatre, waiting for the movie Jongin picked to start. You gripped the popcorn that was sitting dangerously on your lap.

You glanced at Baekhyun, pupils shaking as you thought of how to respond to him. Kyungsoo was a hard subject to talk about but even harder was the other thing that was on your mind. Chanyeol.

“Nothing,” you whispered back innocently.

He scoffed. “You think I’m stupid?”

Rolling your eyes at him, you just shifted in your seat.

He smacked you and made you jostle the popcorn a bit, nearly spilling it all over yourself.

Growling, you looked over at him.

“You’ve been doing better. Answering my texts, not clawing my face off when I saw the forbidden name, smiling more. We’ve noticed,” he said matter-factly.

You raised a brow. “Yeah, maybe I finally decided to get over it.”

“Or maybe someone is helping.”

Instantly you froze when the insinuation dripped from Baekhyuns words. “I don’t know what that is supposed to mean.” You turned away but Baekhyun just leaned into you so he could whisper in your ear.

“I see the way you look at him. I’m no fool when it comes to love. I’ve seen it in you before. I’ve seen heartbreak in you. I know you better than you think. But not better than him.”

Smacking him away with your free hand, you tried to scoot as far from him as you possibly could while giving him a dirty look. You felt a hand on your shoulder and you turned to Chanyeol, realizing you had scooted closer to him in the process.

“Is he harassing you?” Chanyeol asked while looked over your head to glare at Baekhyun.

You nodded meekly while looking up at Chanyeols serious face. His arm wrapped around your shoulders to swat at Baekhyun while he scolded him for bothering you.

Even after he was finished, his arm remained around you and it caused you to shiver. What was worse was that Baekhyun was eyeing you knowingly and that made your shivers intensify which made Chanyeol grip you tighter.

“Y/N!” Chanyeol yelled down the hallway.

You gulped and locked the door to the bathroom and tried to make your breathing as quiet as you could.

“Y/N, I’ll find you no matter how good you hide,” he sang.

You trembled with adrenaline as you heard his loud footsteps near the bathroom. One hand clutched over your chest as you tried to silence yourself while he walked by. He fumbled with a few door knobs but then he sighed and retreated.

As you heard his footsteps disappear, you let out a shaky breath followed by a small giggle which you immediately regretted. Your own hand slapped over your mouth but it was too late. The bathroom door swung open, revealing a shirtless Chanyeol clad in nothing other than jeans.

Your eyes grew wide and your cheeks flamed immediately.

He looked at you in shock. “You swore you didn’t have my shirt,” he pointed at you wildly, “but there it is, on your damn body.” He looked disappointed and you tried to keep your eyes on his face.

It was becoming impossible not to let your eyes trail down to his naked torso that your hands were begging to wrap around. If Chanyeol wasn’t in the room, you would have a serious talk with yourself.

“So are you going to take it off?” He asked as he folded his arms over his chest.

You pulled your gaze from him and looked down at yourself realizing that you, in fact, were wearing his shirt without a bra. You couldn’t help it. Chanyeols close we’re comfy and he said you were welcome to wear them whenever you wanted. How were you supposed to know that you picked his favorite to become partial to? Especially on the night you were supposed to go to some art show with him.

“Um, Chanyeol…”

He raised a brow, “What? We’re all adults here. Not like I haven’t seen you in your bra. Just give me the shirt because we are running late and Junmyeon will kill me if we’re late.”

Like word vomit, the words were out before you could stop them. “I’m not wearing a bra.”

Chanyeols face crinkled and he grew stiff in a matter of seconds. He turned almost instantly and retreated from the bathroom. “I’ll pick something else.”

Being too shocked to do anything else, you quickly put a bra on and decided to keep Chanyeol’s shirt on.

The whole ride to the gallery, Chanyeol was quiet and you watched how he nervously tapped the steering wheel while he drove.

Once you arrived, you grabbed his arm gently and tried to ignore the fire that erupted in your belly. “Are you okay?”

His worried glance fell into a goofy grin. “I’m sorry. There is so much on my mind. I’m okay.”

You shouldn’t have asked but your mouth seemed to have a mind of its own. “What’s on your mind?”

His gaze burned on you. “Something I'd rather not say in front of this entire art gallery. If you still want to know, ask me when we get home.”

You understood. Hell, you weren’t stupid either. You knew exactly what he was implying which was that his thoughts were meant to be kept in private and that they were less than gentlemanly.

Once his mouth closed, a gentle smile formed on his lips and he placed a hand protectively on your back as he led you into the gallery.

It seemed touching you was the theme of the night for Chanyeol because he always kept you within fingers grasp and whenever he could, he would have one hand wrapped on you or draped over you.

Even so, you didn’t question it.

You didn’t question anything until Chanyeol locked the front door behind you too and the both of you were encased in the darkness of the house. Neither of you made any movement to turn on any lights though.

“What did you mean?” You whispered into the dark.

You could see him through the moonlight that poured in through the blinds of the window. He took two strides and was in front of you.

“I’ve tried to compose myself,” he said quietly. “I’ve tried stopping myself from thinking and feeling what I do – but it’s hard.”

His hands reached out for you, grasping your cheeks gently and causing a sharp intake of breath on your end.

“You’ve been on my mind.”

“What?” You asked quietly.

He nodded, his fingers splaying across your cheeks. “All I can think about is you. You and your sweet face. Your gentle heart. All things innocent and all things not so innocent. You wearing my shirt today was the breaking point. Y/N, I can’t hold it in anymore. I can’t fight that I care about you. I want to be around you every second of the day. I know it’s wrong, it’s so wrong for me to feel this way when I’m supposed to be helping but-“

“You are helping,” you replied without thinking.

“But am I? Here I am falling in love with you when you’re in love with someone else. How does that help? But how can I stop myself? How do I stop from kissing you when you look at me that way?”

“Don’t,” you whispered. “Don’t stop yourself.”

You don’t know what you were thinking but you weren’t thinking straight. Or maybe thinking about Chanyeol was you thinking straight. All you knew was his hands on you had been the best feeling in the world and you would do anything to keep his touch.

Chanyeols lips were on you before you could process everything that was going on. You wrapped your arms around his neck, falling into him as his lips encased your own. You could feel his warmth radiating from his body and it made your tremble.

His tongue tracing your lips was enough to cause your heart to leap out of your chest. You felt warm all over and especially between your legs. Chanyeol was making you feel all the things you hadn’t in years – if you felt this way at all in the past. You were overwhelmed and your senses were flooded with the scent and taste of Chanyeol.

The kiss was heated as Chanyeol pressed you to the nearest wall. A low rumble sounded in his chest as he did so and you used every sense in you to stop from wrapping your legs around him and begging him to take you to his room.

When a small moan fell passed your lips, Chanyeol pulled away and smiled. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited to do that.”

You stared at him, your body quaking and your mind whirling.

It continued that way even as Chanyeol pressed a kiss to your head and bid you goodnight. “I’m not going to push my luck,” he said with a wink as you watched him retreat to his bedroom.

For several moments you stayed standing in the dark hallway as you watched Chanyeols bedroom light go out. You felt like you couldn’t breathe. After so many years you had been kissed again. It wasn’t some drunken sloppy or regretted kiss.it was a kiss that made you feel things. Feel things like the way you used to with Kyungsoo. But this was different – better in many ways but worse in a couple.

At first, Loving Kyungsoo wasn’t hard. He was someone you had trusted wholeheartedly – even if that was in vain. Everything with him was new and fresh. Everything with him was the first time. There was no mess in your heart. There was nothing broken there.

On the other hand, loving Chanyeol was something you didn’t think your body could take. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust him but Kyungsoo had rendered your trust for others no matter how much you wanted to trust them. It was simple: you always trusted Kyungsoo. He never seemed to be the man to break your heart. He never seemed to be the one to leave his love. But he did. The love you had with him was long, drawn out, and passionate. It was a love for the books. The love everyone was jealous of. Therefore, you foolishly trusted him.

No matter how gentle Chanyeols touch was, no matter how much you felt your heart clench for him, and no matter how much of Kyungsoo he mad you forget – there would always be the what if. What if he did what Kyungsoo did? What if you gave him your all and then ended up broken again? What if it ruined you? What if you and Chanyeol ruined each other?

The worries had you up all night.

The atmosphere in the house had evolved and the world around you changed into something you couldn’t put your finger on. Was it love?

Chanyeol obviously had feelings for you, and you had feelings for him. But what did that mean? What would come of you guys the following days?

Your thoughts eventually led you to your car. A small overnight bag packed and not even a note in your wake. You had to get out. You had to leave before there was anything else that transpired. You had to leave before Chanyeol left you, the same way Kyungsoo did.

Chanyeol would understand. He would move on and find another woman. Even if it seemed impossible for you to find someone else, you knew at least he could since Kyungsoo did the same.

You left before Chanyeol could wake for the morning and were at your parents by noon. In your hurry, you left your phone behind so your parents were just as shocked as you were that you were there.

“Honey, I didn’t know you were coming for a visit,” your mother said gently as her eyes trailed over your disheveled appearance. She looked you over a couple times before pulling you into her arms. She sighed. “Regardless, we are glad to see you. You look well,” and while you knew that was half a lie, you also knew that you did look better. Even being tormented by your love for Chanyeol, you still looked better than you did after Kyungsoo. Those were the darkest times of your life and you were glad to be through with them.

Another reason you couldn’t take a chance with Chanyeol. You couldn’t face the dark again even though it seemed you could already see it clouding in at the thought of going on without him.

Your parents were more than accommodating. They didn’t even ask why you had chosen to come and stay the night. They didn’t question why you were running from your close friend Chanyeol when you had told them before that you were happy to stay with him.

They cooked you a large breakfast even though they very well knew that when you were upset, getting you to eat was impossible. But they loved you and just that bit of affection was enough to help warm the parts of your heart that had gone cold.

Even through the drama with Kyungsoo and your darkest hours, they still wanted you to eat well and grow strong. You knew they still thought that their wants for grandchildren were all in vain but that they hoped anyways.

The day seemed the pass slowly and while your parents had tried surrounding you with devices of entertainment and family bonding, you couldn’t help but look at your hands and wish that Chanyeol was there to hold them.

You were scared of him.

Well, maybe you were scared of you.

Kyungsoo had been the one to leave you so maybe it wasn’t the man you had to be scared of but it was you that was the problem one.

Maybe you loved too hard. Maybe you clung too much. Maybe you weren’t enough.

Maybe, maybe, maybe.

You wanted to grip your hair and scream. You wanted answers and you wanted them now. But nowhere were the answers to be had.

You were still unresolved in why things with Kyungsoo came to an end and even if you were over the relationship for the most part, that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

Your mother's voice is what pulled you from the deep confines of your worries. “Someone is here for you,” she said carefully. Your gaze pulled up and standing behind her, you saw his tall form. You saw his large brown eyes that had bags recessed underneath them. You took in his too disheveled appearance that matched your own.

“What are you doing here?”

Your mother was quick to dismiss herself leaving Chanyeols gaze to burn holes into yours. “I’m going to take you home.”

You shook your head. “Chanyeol, just let it go. Let me leave. It’s better like this.”

He scoffed and narrowed his eyes. “For who?”

“All of us.”

Again he scoffed and advanced on you. His hands gripped yours. “You don’t get to decide what’s best for me. “ the warmth in his hands made you quiver. Your heartbeat was erratic against your chest.

“But I get to decide what’s best for me,” you muttered.

Again, he was in disbelief. “Don’t allow the past to paint who you are today. I’m not him and if I care for you, it won’t stop. If I love you, you won’t wake up in doubt. Ever.”

You glared at him and tried to keep yourself from exploding in a mess of tears. Chanyeol was the uncertain. Chanyeol was the one man you thought you’d never love but yet you loved anyway. Chanyeol made you feel different than anyone else and here you were pushing him away. Pushing him away because it was what was best. Or that’s at least what you thought.

“I thought the same thing with Kyungsoo,” you said with a shake in your voice. “I never suspected him to stop loving me. I never thought I would go on without him. And here we are. I can’t take that risk again. I can’t ruin me and I definitely can’t ruin you.”

Chanyeol was taken aback, “Me? You won’t ruin me. You are what I want and I know you want me too. How can I prove to you that I’m not Kyungsoo? How can I prove that if I love you, it won’t ever stop?”

You stayed quiet and Chanyeol nodded.

“I can’t prove it all at once, no matter how bad I want to,” he said quietly. “But I can promise that I will prove it to you. I will show you with the days that pass. I will show you that I am not someone who leaves behind those he loves. Isn’t it clear Y/N? Isn’t it clear that I’ve always loved you? When have you seen me with any other woman throughout the years? I’ve loved you since the moment I met you. I loved you when you loved Kyungsoo. I’ve had to cope all of these years with you loving someone else and you have no idea how much it killed me. But even so, it killed me more when he broke you. Because I knew that I would have never done that to you. And I won’t.”

You paused, all the breath leaving your lungs. “You loved me all this time? All these years?”

He smiled, “I would be stupid not to love you.”

“But how? How could you love me all those years and still be close to me? How could you watch me love someone else?”

He lifted one of his hands to your face and brushed his thumb over a stray tear that had fallen. “When you love someone, you will do anything to see them happy – even if it hurts you in turn. You know that already though, don’t you? You didn’t just run because of you but you ran because of me. You didn’t want to hurt me.”

“I ruined him. He never did anything to stop me from loving him but I did something to make him stop loving me,” you looked down but Chanyeols hands pulled your face back up.

“How many times do I have to tell you that that’s not true? You’ve only ever made me love you more. Never less. Something was wrong with him, not you. You didn’t stop loving him because you are loyal and that we have in common. Y/N, let me prove it to you. Take the chance with me. Take a chance and I promise it will turn out okay.”

You sniffled and stood up, feeling strength overcome your body. “Swear to me, Chanyeol, swear you’ll never break my heart.”

You stood in front of him and placed your hands on his waist as you shook. “I swear.”

“I want to believe you so bad,” you cried, “but I can’t.”

He nodded. “It’s okay. Let me make you believe it.”

You realized then that love was a risk worth taking because the world had millions of what ifs and if you stopped yourself from facing those uncertainties, you weren’t really living at all.

So you decided you would live with the uncertainty that could be Chanyeol because nothing had felt more right.

You would let him make you believe it and even if you had doubts and fears, nothing felt more right than letting Chanyeol wrap his arms around you and take you home.

The gentle caress of his hands helped fade all the pain you had faced.

Chanyeol was no Kyungsoo but that was in the best ways possible.

His touch was different. His lips were different. His scent was different.

But it was all perfect.

You thought you had fit perfectly with Kyungsoo but you learned that you fit perfectly with Chanyeol. He was the hot to your cold. He was the calm to your storm.

He gave you exactly what you wanted without throwing reason into the equation. He loved you fiercely.

Chanyeol and you were two puzzle pieces that were long lost from each other. Other pieces had been forced into you and forced into him but after years when you finally came together, you found that the two of you fit perfectly.

For years you tried to force Kyungsoo and your own pieces together when there was your perfect match right in front of you. Your perfect match who had always loved you. Your match who you would now always love.

Always.

Kyungsoo gripped the package in his hands as they shook. He sat on the concrete stairs of the porch, not caring if he dirtied his black dress pants.

It was your name that had stopped him on his way to work. Your name carefully scrawled on the return address on the package. A name he wanted to hide from but yet, he saw it everywhere. In his thoughts, in his dreams, and now in real life.

Kyungsoo was no cruel man. He still felt so many emotions surrounding you. Emotions that were kept a secret from the world.

Somedays, on days like this, he wondered why he had kept the emotions secret for so long. But he shook his head at the thought this time. Things were the way they were supposed to be, right?

He pushed you away. It was he that made things the way they were today and he was responsible for the unhappiness you both faced.

The moment he left you, he missed you and he never stopped.

He married and thought that the marriage would fix the broken pieces in his heart. He hoped it would fix the scattered remains but nothing did.

No matter how much alcohol he drank before bed.

He only dreamt of you.

Maybe you hadn’t seen Chanyeol’s love for you, but Kyungsoo had. Kyungsoo knew it before Chanyeol himself did. Chanyeol’s unconditional love for you was what had pushed Kyungsoo to leave you. When things got rough with you and Kyungsoo would vent to Chanyeol, he could see the pain in his friend's eyes. He could read the unspoken words from Chanyeol’s mind. Chanyeol was always on your side no matter how loyal he was to Kyungsoo.

He thought he was doing what was best for you since the two of you ended up in so many fights. He thought he was making you happy.

He thought maybe, in turn, he would be happy too.

But he was wrong.

At least about the latter. Chanyeol had pursued you from what Chanyeol had told him and when Kyungsoo asked how you were doing, Chanyeol told him that he hadn’t seen you this happy in a while.

Kyungsoo still loved you and while half of him wanted to run back to you, he knew you were just now healing - just now finding happiness and after all he had put you through, he couldn’t put you through any more pain.

He loved you and would never stop.

Just as the note he found inside your package had said, “love never fades, it’s either always there or it never existed.”

His love never faded. It always existed.

He clutched the mugs one by one in his hands and felt a tear spill from his eyes as he remembered the times with you. So maybe things weren’t always perfect between the two of you, but you were always perfect.

Kyungsoo frowned and swiped the tear away.

He would have to carry on without you knowing that no matter how much he still loved you, that he never loved you as much as Chanyeol does. Kyungsoo had found the power in him to leave you and he knew Chanyeol could never do that.

Chanyeol wouldn’t let you hurt. He wouldn’t fight with you until you were to the point you were broken.

Chanyeol loved you more than Kyungsoo could ever and Kyungsoo loved you as much as he could.

Chanyeol could give you the world you needed and no matter how much Kyungsoo wished it could still be him, fate had worked out the way it had for a reason.

Sometimes knowing that the person you love is happy, is enough to get by in life and Kyungsoo hoped that was true as he slipped off his wedding ring, left it on the porch, and carried the mugs inside the house

418 notes · View notes

simplyyeol · 7 years

Text

broken | i

genre: slice of life! AU, angst, fluff

pairing: park chanyeol x reader

word count: 3.5k

author’s note: dfskfhhfhsfh, I rewrote broken because I felt like I didn’t do my man enough good. There will be a part 2 of this so I hope you enjoy. Please do comment about what you think will happen or what you think I could do better! I love reading all of your feedback! Thank you :))

Your gentle footsteps were the only thing that echoed throughout the empty hallway as you made your way to God knows where. Well you knew where, anywhere but the empty and lifeless room that you were always locked up in. The incessant beeping from the machines surrounding you, drove you crazy and the steady dripping of the IV made you want to rip your hair out.

You had barely escaped when the nurse that usually came to monitor you had left for whatever emergency reason. It wouldn’t be long before you were noticed to be gone and taken back. However, you knew that this was a priceless moment, and you should treasure it as if it was gold. You should treasure it with your life because that means that maybe you can actually live your own.

You wanted to be able to escape this prison at least once, you wanted to at least live your life once. It was if you were a prisoner locked up behind bars, and yet you had done nothing wrong. You were not guilty, but you were still the accused. You had been here for most of your life and you wanted out. You wanted to escape from this hell that was your life. You wanted to escape and finally live the live that you never had. You wanted to do what everyone else did, what normal people did. There were so many things that you had never done that you wished to do.

You never had a childhood that everyone else at school talked about when you sat down at your usual table for lunch. You had never gone to your friend’s birthday party and eat cake until your stomach was about to burst. You had never broken your arm and cried for your mom. You had never learned to ride a bike on the streets of your neighborhood with your parents right behind you, making sure you were safe and screaming words of encouragement to get you going. You never had family game nights where laughter and happiness filled the air. You had never had a big Thanksgiving dinner where you saw your aunt’s neighbor’s boyfriend’s friend’s cousin’s niece’s best friend. You never got to go Black Friday shopping with your mother and had to regret it the next day after you came home with worn out feet. You had never done anything that a normal kid had done.

Why? Because apparently you weren’t a normal kid. Everyone around you had acted as if you were a fragile diamond, that if touched, would be shattered into thousands of tiny pieces, too small to even be picked up and glued back together. You were a someone that was different, not normal, and could never have a normal life. Just because of one thing. You didn’t even like mentioning it because even though you acknowledged it and knew it was the truth, the weight would come knocking you down even harder if you said it loud, because then, and only then, would be the time that you would have to accept the fact. The fact that you are going to die, and you didn’t have much time left.

You guessed that no one normal would know the real pain of being terminally ill. At least no one around you. Not many people knew the actual pain that you did. No one could connect with you, no one would be able to empathize with your once-in-a-lifetime situation.

With billions of other people in the world and statistics showing tens of thousands of people with the same illness as you, you had yet to cross amongst someone like yourself. Someone who was closed off from the world by their parents to be ‘protect from the harsh world,’ when the reality was that they were never protecting you, just making sure that you could never see the good in this world. Because then you would start to get greedy and ask for things that could never be obtained by someone like you. Not only was your physical health getting worse, but your mental health, from all the things you never experienced as a child, as a teenager, as a young adult, as a human.

The ever knowing fact that you were going to die in a few months had never helped your mental health as well. Oh how you wished all your problems would go away. Holed up in the mental ward and having multiple doctors and nurses swarm over you like bees in honey whenever one little thing goes wrong was too much. Having to be monitored over every little thing that occurs in your small and blank room when nothing ever really happened

It made you want to throw yourself of a cliff and scream from joy after finally being able to be free. Of finally being able to escape from this place. It made you want to throw a knife into every single one of their hearts, if that’s what it meant for them to stop treating you as someone different, as someone broken. You would do anything for everyone to stop looking at you with that look. They were all the same. None of them looked at you like an actual human being. None of them looked at you with actual emotions from the bottom of their heart. None of them looked at you as an equal, but instead you were a person lower then them. You were someone that they would pay no mind, only acting as if they cared, when in reality, they didn’t give a shit.

You looked at your barren feet as with each step they took, they made a small padding sound against the cold tile floor.

You wished that you could be as loud as just only your footsteps. Even if they were in small amount, they were still audible. People could still hear them. Unlike you. No one ever heard you, but then again, that is also partly your fault. You couldn’t only blame everyone around you for the way your living your life. It wasn’t only them, it was you also.

You weren’t a very extroverted person as a whole. Sure, when you got closer to someone, you became more comfortable with them and you could talk with them for hours on end. But you never could feel that connection that other people do. When you first meet a person, do you immediately think that that person is your best friend? Do most people just another person based on their looks? Their clothing? Their style? From what you have seen, this is true.

Society always said to never judge a book by its cover when in reality, that is human nature. That is just how we as humans behave. When we see a person, we immediately judge them, criticize them, and look at them a different way if they are a ‘type’ of person they wouldn’t like.

So when people saw you, they would think that you were some ill patient and that they should just feel sorry for whoever had to take care of you, they should feel pity for you because you weren’t normal. They should feel pity for you because you were sick. And all this time you never said anything about it. You never criticized them back, saying that their sense of fashion was horrible or if their shoes were fake. And that was a mistake.

Your life was the outcome of both you and the people around you’s fault. You couldn’t put the blame on just one person when in reality it took more then one head to actually do something, to actually make an impact, whether it be good or bad.

It was your own introverted self’s fault for not speaking up for yourself in the times when you needed it. It was your own fault when people judged you and walked away while you let them. You let them get away because of your cowardly thoughts. Because you were scared that they would put you in some place worse then the barren white walls surrounding you. This was the part that you mistook.

There couldn’t possibly be a place that is worse then here. There couldn’t possibly be a place like this, unless it was hell itself. A place where no good memories can occur. A place where you are trapped. A place where there is a ticking bomb right next to you, counting down the days until You day. A place where the only thing people wish for is one more day of life. A place where death is the norm.

Wouldn’t it be better for the universe to just let you die already? Haven’t they put you through enough misery for one person’s lifetime? You always wondered why the universe put you through this hell? Would you be rewarded in the next life? Could you have done many sins in your past life? Had one of your ancestors done an unforgiving deed saying that one of their predecessors would compensate? What did you do, to make you deserve a life like this?

What did you do, that made you different from everyone else? What did you do, to make yourself into someone so horrible? What did you do, to make your life torture, when all you wanted was a life filled with bliss and happiness? What did you do to make you deserve all of this?

You wanted to climb to the top of Mt. Everest and scream in the loudest voice possible, all your miseries, all your insecurities, all the people that had wronged you, all the things that went wrong in your life. Everything that occured that you wished you could change. Everything that had happened that you wished had never token place during your life. And finally, when everything had been lifted off your chest, and you could finally feel free, and for once in your lifetime, not have a single worry in the world, that would be when you took that glorious leap of faith, and finally spread your wings and fly.

Maybe you should take matters into your own, small and undeserving hands. Maybe you should actually take that leap of faith into a better world and hope for the best. Maybe then you could join the rest of your loved ones instead of suffering in this cruel, cruel world.

You were undeserving of this life, but maybe your next could turn out better. That is, if the superiors believed that they had tortured you enough. With everything that had been going on, you could probably be going directly to the Devil for the past sins that you have done, if you had done any at all that is, if this was all really your fault.

The world is a cruel place to live in. They could’ve just been doing that to play with you. As if you were their puppet to play with. As if your misery brought them happiness, brought them joy, brought them entertainment.

The mere thought of this made you fume. Who do they think they are? How high in power were they, for them to be doing this to you for this long and how did they have not even a shred of humanity in them? If they really made us, why torture some and give the rest a newly built playground for them to enjoy? Why discriminate some and favor others? What did those people have that we didn’t? What was so much better about them, that we were thrown to the side and stomped all over in return?

You just couldn’t wrap your mind around a reason, a reason as to why? It just didn’t make sense, why was your life like this? But then again, maybe it’s just because. Just because.

Your plain hospital gown brushed the sides of your thighs as you made your way down the hallway to Neverland. You let out a sigh of relief. You’ve gotten this far, maybe you could even get out of this hellhole. But you knew that you would eventually have to come back. If you didn’t, you could say goodbye to your life. But then again, that didn’t sound too bad.

However when you think it over, it didn’t sound like a good way to send yourself off. You would basically be torturing yourself to death. Suffocating yourself until you stop breathing, until your death. You would rather it be your own choice rather then not. You would rather it be over in a second then for it take it’s time. You didn’t want to torture yourself any longer. You’ve had enough of playing someone else’s games for a lifetime. You’ve had enough of that forever.

Your moments with only you and your thoughts had finally came to an end when a, let’s say, minor accident, occurred.

Both you and another person had collided into each other, sending you both tumbling to the floor and you wondering why can’t you ever pay attention to anything. Everywhere you went, you fell, you tripped, you stumbled, it made you seem even more pitiful. Why can’t you ever watch where your going?

A groan made its way out of your mouth as pain erupted through your left side. It felt as if you’ve been stabbed with a knife and then plowed over by a truck. Yes, it really did hurt that bad. Your head felt dizzy from the pain, but you endured it. This was nothing compared to all the shit you’ve been through before.

You clenched your teeth and shifted a little so your left side was not in contact with the cool floor. That side had had a surgery done on it a mere few weeks ago which resulted in throbbing type of pain when you weren’t even doing anything. It still hadn’t healed and you were sure that a few stitches might’ve reopened from your fall. You were about to accuse the person who made this happen to you, but immediately closed your mouth as another shot of pain made its way through your side.

You felt a hand on your shoulder for comfort and heard a muffled voice trying to talk to you while shaking you in attempt for you to stay conscious. You heard a few words and made out what he said, something along the lines of ‘are you okay?’

You might as well make them not worry. The last thing you needed for them to do was call a nurse after panicking. Without opening your eyes, you gave a small nod from the direction you heard the voice come from and attempted to get up from the ice cold of the floor that sent shivers up your spine, hoping that they had heard your unspoken message.

The lights above you blinded your sight and hindered your attempt. When you finally managed to crack your eyes open, you caught a quick glimpse of the person kneeling in front of you with worry etched all over his face.

Your eyes widened when he scrambled up to his full height, and turned around searching for something, no someone, a nurse. You realized this as he was about to leave and made to tug on his hand with as much force as you could muster in your pained state.

If the nurses came to you because he called them, you would never be able to forgive him and your own self. This was the one chance you had to get a precious breath of air and it would all be taken away if even a peep came out of his mouth and attracted the attention of the staff who would be around. Your goal to get out of this damn hospital would be demolished in your heart, your mind your soul. You needed this, so you could pick up the courage to come back and face this misery all over again. You knew that you were slowly losing your mentality from being trapped from here, but a little time away wouldn’t hurt anyone. It was the best thing you could do for yourself and everyone else. You didn’t know exactly what you would do when you got out or where you would go, but it was obvious that it would be fine, as long as it was anywhere but here.

When you had caught his attention, you softly shook your head side to side, silently saying one thing, no. You didn’t want anymore of this. You didn’t want to deal with your life anymore. You didn’t want to go around carrying your burdens and showing them to the world. You didn’t want to bring anyone down with you. You didn’t want to struggle anymore. You just didn’t want to live. There was no point.

You tugged at his limp arms signaling for him to come down next to you. He questionably complied and knelt down on the stone cold floor next to you. You might as well tell one person where you were going, what you were going to do, you could maybe even ask him to help you, even if it would be in a little amount as you would be leaving anyway. You brought your face closer to his ear before whispering,

“Will you help me say goodbye?”

You retracted your body away from him and finally got a good look at whoever would hopefully get you out of here. You took in his face and realized that this man was beautiful. You shrank in comparison to this angel-like human being. He looked about your age with wide and bright eyes with irises that looked as warm as coffee on a Monday morning. Skin that was so smooth that you would love being able to draw random shapes along them for hours straight. Face so proportionate that it looked like it was taken straight out of your favorite comic book. Hair that looked so soft, you would want to run your fingers through it any time you had the chance. And his lips, his lips were a bright cherry pink that you would love to feel on your very own.

You quickly averted your eyes when you finally realized that you had been staring at him for a while now. You felt your cheeks burn up, and went to get up from your laying position on the floor.

The man looked shocked from what had happened and now you felt bad. Felt bad for asking him of this. Felt bad for bringing him into this mess, into your mess. However he quickly regained himself when he saw you move to get up from your previous position on the floor. He helped you with a supporting hand on your back and one on your arm as you got up and leaned against the wall in an attempt to catch your breath from this unexpected fall.

“What do you mean?” The man looked at your small form in question from your previous question. You made a quick glance at him and noticed the confusion written all over him, and sighed.

What made you do that? What made you say that to him? Now you had brought another person into your mess when that is exactly what you had wanted to avoid this whole time. You wanted to slap yourself for even talking to him and noticing him in the first place. You were an asshole for bringing another person into your mess that you called your life. And here you are now admiring his beauty, you didn’t have time for this type of stuff. Why? Because in the end, it didn’t matter. People like that would never want to hang out with someone like you.

In the end, just like old times, you would be left all alone.

“I’m sorry. Just forget what I said, yeah?” You voice was no louder then a whisper, but sill enough for him to hear as you turned around and made to walk towards the exit. Your small and naked feet padded their way down the rest of the hallway before stopping after feeling a hand settle on top of your shoulder. You felt the presence of him behind you as his breathing fanned into your neck and in the shell of your ear.

“You can’t say goodbye just yet.”

His words sent shivers rolling through your body as he retracted his warm hand, taking his weight off your shoulder before turning you around so you were face to face with him. The proximity between the two of you was too close for a first meeting, as you immediately shied away from his piercing gaze.

It felt as if he could read you as a whole just by looking into your eyes. You felt as if you were naked in front of him with everything in front of him to see. All he had to do was read them to know all of your deepest and darkest secrets. All the insecurities that you never wanted to be revealed to anyone. All your memories that left you with nightmares day in and day out. All your scars that you were ashamed of having from your monstrous life. Scars that you wished to forget and flush down the drain.

His eyes bored into your own, reading you like an open book as you wriggled underneath his sharp gaze, the only thing in your mind being escape from his everlasting hold.

“Not when you haven’t experienced the fun in life.”

His hold on you softened as he pulled you into his warm and comforting embrace. You stiffened not knowing what to make of this situation. Why was he hugging you? A stranger of all people. Why would a stranger want to comfort you, want to give you reasons to live, want to touch you in such an intimate manner?

“Its me, Chanyeol, Y/N.”

A memory erupted inside your head as you recalled a younger version of the man holding you. They had the same eyes, the same nose, the same lips, and you suddenly realized that this uncanny resemblance could not be possible.

He had put his hand out for you to shake with a crooked smile adorning his lips and said one sentence that had changed your life forever.

“I’m Chanyeol. It’s nice to meet you.”

But that Chanyeol died eight years ago in the same accident that killed your parents.

Who exactly was he?

70 notes · View notes