#PARDON ME IM GONNA LAUGH MY LUNGS OUT

[oswinunknown]

HOLY SHIT HOW DID I NOT SEE THIS UNTIL NOW ASKJDHAKSJHDKASJD

FUCKING D Y I N G WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS AMAZING KJASHDKJHASK

GOD I NEED TO MAKE THIS NOW THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY I LOVE THIS SO MUCH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

i'll just leave dis here

[cursestothemoon]

Hiii Charly!! Can I request a Fred blurb with really soft and fluffy sex. Just lots of love and emotions 🥺

Can I request a blurb of soft and eager celebratory sex with Fred after he just found out the reader is pregnant

I am combining these two 😌

Baby Makes Three

F.W. X FEM!READER

17+ IF YOU ARE TAGGED AND DON’T WANT TO BE TAGGED IN SMUT PLEASE LET ME KNOW

warnings: pregnancy, soft dom!Fred, praise kink, UNEDITED (i am sorry)

“Fred? Can we- Could you come here, I need to tell you something?”

The tremor in your voice had the hairs on the back of Fred’s neck standing up, the apprehension making his palms go moist. 

He walked into your shared bedroom only to be greeted by your back to him, head bowed and looking at something in your hands. The anxiousness was radiating off of you in waves and Fred could feel it.

“Love?”

You turned to him, eyes glimmering with unshed tears, and he felt himself start to panic...until you broke out into a beaming grin. Fred’s shoulders relaxed and his breathing started to even as he watched you smile up at him and move closer to where he was standing. 

“How do you feel about the number three?”

What an odd question, Fred thought. His eyebrows drew together as he let out a confused laugh, “I beg your pardon?”

“The number three, how do you feel about it?” You persisted.

He gave you a funny look, hand pressing to your forehead, “You feeling alright, Y/n?”

You gave him a look that said you wanted an actual answer.

“It’s a number...a-a good one. What are you getting at?”

Your smile seems to grow exponentially as he felt your palm in his, placing something in his hand as you whispered, “Baby makes three.”

“Baby makes...” Fred cut himself off as he glanced down at what you placed in his hand.

A pregnancy test.

A positive pregnancy test.

The lump in his throat was immediate, a feeling of immense joy pumping through his veins and making his hands shake.

“...We’re pregnant?”

You nodded and Fred let out a choked sob, a grin nearly splitting his face in two. A squeal left your lips as Fred lunged toward you, his hands grabbing you by the waist and lifting you into an embrace.

The kisses were instant, Fred was keen on placing his lips on any skin he could find. He walked you toward the bed and dropped you onto the soft surface making you giggle. 

“Careful!” You joked, unable to feign seriousness for long as Fred got to his knees and lifted your shirt, peppering kisses across your belly. 

“M’ sorry, nugget.” Fred laughed, his words coming out muffled as he still held his lips to your stomach. 

Your hand carded through his red hair, free of any styling cream or gel, and you couldn’t help but hope your child inherits their father’s fiery hair. Fred continued to pepper kisses across your belly, his thumb caressing a small portion of skin on your hip causing your insides to flutter. You tugged on Fred’s hair gently, angling his face up to look at you as you bit your lip in anticipation. 

“I want you, Freddie.” 

Fred had a giddy smile, “I want you too, love, always.”

You shook your head, slowly rubbing your foot along the side of Fred’s thigh, “No, I want you.”

His grin fell into a smirk as he caught on to what you meant, “Do you now?”

Bashfully, you nodded.

Fred started to raise himself, the action making you fall back onto the bed with him hovering over you. You craned your neck up to capture his lips in a passionate kiss, his tongue not hesitating to slip into your mouth and meet yours. You felt his warm palm against your skin, cradling your jaw as he deepened the kiss before pulling away and resting his forehead against yours. 

“We’re going to be parents.” He breathed out with a smile, continuing just barely above a whisper, “I’m going to be a dad.” 

“The best.” You added softly. 

He smiled, head dipping down to scatter slow, loving kisses down your neck and across your collarbone. Reaching the neckline of your shirt, his hands reached for the hem and tugged it off, you arching your back to help. The shirt was once Fred’s meaning it was rather large on you and rarely did you wear a bra with it, Fred being met with your bare breasts was further confirmation. He continued his kisses over each mound, making sure to pay equal attention to each of your pert nipples.

“Love you.” Fred muttered against the skin of your tits.

His lips trailed down to your abdomen before pulling away again, “Love your body.”

You whimpered, stomach breaking out in goosebumps at the feeling of Fred’s breath against your skin. 

“This beautiful, beautiful belly holding our baby.” 

“Freddie, please.” You whined, your need for him outweighing your patience. 

Fred pulled down your shorts, throwing them somewhere in the room before playfully biting your thigh making you yelp. 

“Can you be patient, I’m trying to say thank you.” 

You sat up, grabbing at Fred’s shirt and pulling it off his torso, “Do that later, right now I need you in me.”

Your bluntness had Fred giggling as he stood up to his full height to pull off his pants along with his boxers. Being so close to your naked body had done the job of getting him almost fully hard, his hand doing the rest of the job. You laid back down, watching as Fred made his way back to hovering over your body. 

His fingers dipped in-between your folds, gathering your arousal and starting tease your clit.

“Already so wet and I’ve barely touched you.”

You let out a breathy moan as he continued rubbing your sensitive nub only to pull his fingers away abruptly. Before you could complain, Fred lined himself up with your entrance and slowly pushed in, your juices helping act as lubrication. 

His thrusts were slow as he made sure to bottom out each time. Fred wanted to feel you, every inch, ridge, and spasm of your cunt he wanted to memorize. His hand ran up the side of your torso before coming up to brush a few stray hairs from your face. You were perfect, completely, absolutely, devastatingly perfect. His heart fluttered at the way your lips parted- eyes already screwed shut- as he  hit the sensitive spot inside you that had you seeing stars, or the way your eyebrows furrowed and moans got louder when he reached back down in-between your bodies and started rubbing your clit again. 

Your orgasm was nearing, as was Fred’s, and you tangled your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and pulled his face closer to yours. He pressed a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth, his lover for you completely overpowering him.

He was in love with you that day on the train all those years ago when you threw a chocolate frog at him, he was in love with you even when he insisted he wasn't and asked someone else to the Yule Ball, and he’s in love with you right now- more in love than he ever thought possible- as you writhed under him, the woman who made him a father. 

“Im gonna cum, Freddie.” You panted into his neck. 

Fred whispered gently, “Go on, my love, I’ve got you.”

His words mixed with the slow, powerful thrusts and digits toying with your clit had your body convulsing as you came around his cock. Fred’s hips stuttered as your pussy clenched around his dick, milking him for all he was, and he started to spill into you. 

After riding out your highs, Fred pulled out of you and was quick to have you both cleaned up. 

Walking back into the room after putting the dirty towels away- the ones he used to clean both of you up- he felt giggles bubble from his chest at the sight he was met with. There you were, completely cocooned in your shared bed, your head and frazzled hair the only thing visible from the duvet engulfing you. 

“It’s 1:00 in the afternoon, you couldn’t possibly be trying to sleep now?” He questioned. 

You smiled, lifting the edge of the duvet to invite him in, “Afternoon nap, come in before you lose your chance.”

Fred didn’t need to be told twice, climbing under the blanket and pulling you into his torso. He dropped his head down to place a kiss on your forehead. 

“Baby makes three.” He muttered, hand moving to rest on your belly under the blankets.

You placed your hand atop his, “Baby makes three.”

Tags:

@siriusement

@amourtentiaa

@lifeofkaze

@theorangedrummer

@erinruby003

@famdomhideout

@an2402lths

@escapingrealitybyreading

@readyg0erge

@maybesandohnos

@therealhouseelvesofhogwarts

@onlyfreds

[luthien-t]

The Sun Will Shine. (Chapter 6)

Summary: Thanos invaded the asgardians ship & Thor called for back up. Being a liable paramedic, you gather your tools and went to space. You end up being injured during battle but Thanos was defeated, what will you do when you find out your lover, Loki suffered more than just a few battle scars? But then again, no one is ever really gone.

Chapter Summary: You find yourself asking Thor to help you with the one last task and a chance of finding if Loki really is still here. 

wordcount 1.3k+

warnings: falling

A/N: Should I make a taglist? Please send me a message of you would like to be in it, I’m trying my best to better my writing because I feel like its very flat or just emotionless, so please if anyone has any advice or anything else I’ll be more than happy to receive it! :) Enjoy reading!

You blinked at the crow as it tilted its head at you. Your mouth was running dry, you didn’t know what to do at this new discovery. 

“Oh my god, I’m going crazy.” You whisper as you run both hands through your hair before closing the curtains and walking away from the window.

First, you thought the journal was the only way to find Loki, then you realise that he is no longer alive, and now you think a crow is following you around and it might be Loki? You try your best to stop thinking about it, again, you have bigger things to focus on than some crow. You have an entire room to clean and a party to go. 

Three hours past since you started cleaning the room, it was still messy and you have a bunch stuff piled on top of each other for Lokis stuff and you have another pile for donations, checking the time you realise you only have one hour to get ready and decide that thats enough cleaning for the day. 

Before you head to the bathroom, a knock was at your door. 

“It’s unlocked!” You say, walking towards the middle of the room. Thor poked his head through the door with a smile on his face. “Lady, y/n! Are y- what in the name of Valhalla did you do to the room?” He fully entered the room now, glancing at you face and at everything else in the room. 

“Thor! Just the man Im looking for, I need to ask you a question. I know you may think I’m crazy. Again.” You tilt your head lightly. “But I could use some guidance here.” You smile sheepishly at him and scratch your head, you’re not sure how you are going to interpret your question or even how to say it, but you know that no one will believe you like Thor. 

“Is everything all right?” He raises and eyebrow while go to sit on the edge of the bed, looking up at you.

“What was a crow-“ You inhale deeply before closing your eyes. “Did Loki ever turn into a crow?” You open your eyes to see Thor smiling softly up at you. “What? I feel like I’m going crazy with everything Loki did, or is doing, I’m not even sure anymore.”

“Loki enjoyed being a crow a lot, every story I told you about him being a snake to scare me, there is an equal story to it with him trying to gouge my eyes out as a crow.” He laughed at the memories he had with Loki but his laugh died down when it dawned to him on why you were asking such a random question all of a sudden. “He is still with us, isn’t he?” His smile still on his face. You shrug, you’re not even sure what to believe anymore. 

“Well, there was this crow, back at the apartment, and now it’s here.” You point at the closed curtains and continue. “I’m starting to feel like I am only thinking like this because I refuse to believe that he is g-” 

“Well, maybe he isn’t?” He interrupts you, he knows how hard it is for you, while he was healing and moving on the past month or so, you were so focused on finding someone who was believed to be gone, he knows what it is like to lose his brother, Loki has done it to him multiple times, and every time, Loki proved him wrong, so he was also still holding on to that small hope that his brother still being here. 

“So, how do we know that it’s really him?” He asks you, not bearing the silence that was slowly growing between you two at the moment. 

“I jump.” You say and bite your lip, saying it out loud feels ridiculous, you know the only way Loki will truly show up is if you are in danger, but how will you bring danger to you when you’re in the safest Tower and surrounded by the most powerful people? You figure that the only way for you to be in danger is if you pretended to be in danger. 

“I beg you pardon?” There was a puzzled look written all over Thors face. “I’m not sure I’m following, jump? What do you mea-“ You point at the balcony behind you. “Oh. Absolutely not. Thats not an option, y/n.” You sigh loudly and drop your shoulders. “Thor, come onn! We both know Loki will have no choice but to do something in that kind of situation.” 

“And what if it’s not Loki?!” His voice rises with worry, you raise your fingers to keep him quite, trying to shush him. “he is literally outside the window and can possibly hear you!” You whisper loudly at him. “What if- what if It’s not Loki, then what? You plummet to your death?” Your eyes widen at his words. 

“What! No, doofus, you’re gonna be down there to catch me, I trust you.” 

“This is too dangerous, lady Y/n.” 

“But Thor, listen to me, Loki wouldn’t let me just plummet to my death, plus, he won’t know that you’re down there waiting to catch me, I know this is a stupid plan but I have to try something, anything. His death is driving me crazy and I find it hard to believe that he is actually dead.” Your eyes start to tear up. “Are you going to help me?”

“Alright, I’m only doing this to stop your brain from over analysing every creature you see.” He stands up and walks to the door, “I’ll be on the ground waiting for you, Lady y/n, be careful”

You smile wide at him and hug him tightly. “You are one crazy woman.” He chuckled nervously before pulling away and out of the room. 

You waited another 10 minutes before pulling the curtains and there he was, the crow was innocently staring back at you with his head tilted again. You open the window and jumped over it to stand on the balcony. “Come on, Loki, give me something I can work with, I don’t want to do this you know.” You lean down towards the crow, waiting for a response, but all you got was a crow staring back at you. You look down on the city to spot Thor, he was waiting with his hammer in his hand and a nervous look on his face.

You look back at the crow again, “Still? Nothing?” Still. Nothing. You sigh. “Fine, then you leave me no choice.” You take a deep breath before you stand on the other edge of the balconies grill, the crow starts to caw and click at you, fluttering his wings and you hold back a smile, this only confirms that this isn’t an average crow. It was Loki, and you are finally going to see him. You throw yourself from the edge and close your eyes, the wind was pushing you up while gravity was pulling you down, with every second passing you can feel your body reacting with the fear of dying and you open your eyes quickly but before you realise anything else you find yourself in someones embrace and colourful lights start to flash all around you, then came the sensation of air being sucked right out of your lung and a tight grip on your waist, next thing you know you are on your feet, inside of a dark cottage house with a beautiful view from the window. 

The adrenaline start to wear off and your body aches all over, you furrow your eyebrows inspecting the area, arms still holding you tightly, you hold your breath and look down, you know these hands like you know your own name. 

“Not the reunion I planned for to be honest, Love” 

A/N pt2: Hello there! Finally got to see Loki, about time I know I know, Im currently working on the next chapter and so far its angsty angsty angsty oop

[devdevlin]

for he wips tag: enigma/black pls 🤍🤍

AHHH, okay then, but for Enigma, im only gonna give you a teensy tiny snippet because I’m mean and I'm super close to updating it (I promise);

He makes a low sound of amusement deep in his throat. "Very good, Ms. Granger."

As for Black, WELL, that's actually my Bellamort fic (sorry to disappoint!). But I'll still give you a snippet for that one too because I love it, even if no one else does 😂;

A slow clap.

"Bravo, Madam Lestrange."

The Dark Lord's teeth were bared in a grin, his eyes excited, molten, as they roamed over her appraisingly.

Tucking her own wand into her waistband, she drew out the elm that belonged to Abraxas. She hesitantly approached where the Dark Lord was now standing and offered it to him, both hands outstretched.

He took his time before he plucked it from her hold carefully and turned it over between his fingers, inspecting the patterns in the wood.

"And with a week to spare, too," he murmured once he was seemingly satisfied, glancing up to meet her eyes.

And with that one look, the air left her lungs.

But then, all too soon for her liking, he glanced away and stepped around her, slowly approaching where Abraxas lay.

"Wake him up," the Dark Lord instructed.

Rosier and Dolohov exchanged a quick glance before Rosier shot up and crouched by Abraxas.

"Rennervate."

The first thing Abraxas did was groan—loudly at that. He squinted up at Rosier for a moment before he seemed to remember where he was and why he was on the floor. He pushed his upper body up, just in time for the Dark Lord to reach him.

"Abraxas." The Dark Lord offered his hand.

After a slight moment of hesitation and a tight clenching of his jaw, Abraxas took it. As he rose to his feet, the Dark Lord let him go and swiftly offered him his wand, handle pointed in his direction.

Abraxas gripped the handle at once, but the Dark Lord did not let his end go.

"I shouldn't give it back to you," he said loudly enough for the whole room to hear it, not releasing his grip on the wand. "You hardly deserve it."

"M-my Lord—"

"You were bested, not once, but twice," the Dark Lord continued, craning his head in closer. "By a teenage girl."

"I- I was taken by surprise," Malfoy whimpered. "And Mulciber's wand would barely obey—"

"Excuses," The Dark Lord hissed. "What would you have me believe, Abraxas? Are you losing your touch? Are you growing old?"

Malfoy stammered while Mulciber and Dolohov laughed from the table.

"Or perhaps she's just... better than you?" The Dark Lord turned to meet Bella's eyes, and this time, her lungs completely stopped functioning.

It felt like he could see her into soul.

But then he ripped them away.

"Which is it, Abraxas?" The Dark Lord asked abruptly, his tone suddenly loud and impatient. "We don't have all night!"

"Miss Black—" Abraxas shifted uncomfortably and glanced from the corner of his eye to Rodolphus. "Pardon—Mrs. Lestrange is an accomplished witch... or so I've heard," he said, though he looked pained to do it. "She graduated top of the class of '68. I daresay she's had more practice in duelling than I, as of late."

The Dark Lord licked his lips. "Is that right?" he asked curiously after a moment, though he tuned to look back at Bella without waiting for an answer.

Bella ignored all of her instincts, the ones screeching at her to shrink under his weighted gaze, and held her chin high.

"Then you've been hiding an asset from me, Cygnus."

Bella’s heart skipped a beat as he continued to search her, and her father, who was still seated at the long table, blanched. "N-no, My Lord. Not hiding, I—"

"Quiet," The Dark Lord hissed, stepping away from Abraxas over to Bella, moving closer still until only a foot remained between them.

The air between them was charged.

And when he spoke again, his voice was low. "You wish to serve me, Bellatrix Lestrange?"

"Yes, My Lord," she breathed without hesitation, lowering her head. "With all of my being."

Lord Voldemort licked his lips, tilting his head as he considered her.

Then, he grinned.

"Very well," he said lowly, his eyes positively sparkling. "I accept."

[enby-jetstar]

Yo yo, it’s 1am cursed hours, so because I’m tired, you get a cursed ship prompt. (Not sorry. Obviously since I’m not even hiding my identity) So. Ghoul/Pony, somehow containing or endin in a fistfight. Gotta have those romantic gay fistfights and flirts and whatever. (Gosh I need sleep, this is the result of energy drinks and adhd)

this may be an Incredibly Cursed Prompt, but i definitely had fun writing it lmao!! 😘

also trying out some different/self-indulgent pronouns for show pony! hope they're not too confusing!

-----

“Put yer fists up.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I said put yer goddamn fists up, Pony!” 

Show Pony blinks, then slowly, deliberately arches an eyebrow at the scowling man in front of aer. “And whyever would I do that, darling?” ae asks, drawing out the word just to make Ghoul’s frown deepen. 

Which it does.

“You know why, Pony!” Ghoul says, thrusting a finger out at aer. 

And, well, Pony does know, but that won’t stop aer from teasing Ghoul. He’s just so cute when he gets feisty, and ae loves it.

“No,” ae says, smiling sweetly at him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, I’m afraid.”

Ghoul growls. Really, truly growls at aer. Delightful! “You fuckin’ stole the last bag’a Cherry Chompers from my hidin’ spot! Now ya better put yer fists up an’ fight me, or I’m just gonna start punchin’!”

Pony laughs, reaches out to gently touch his shoulder. “Now, now,” ae says, “is that really any way to treat your datemate?”

“It is when ae’s a thievin’ scumbag,” Ghoul says, and, ooh, that would certainly hurt, if it weren’t for the fact that Pony can see the little twinkle in his eye, the uptick at the corner of his mouth that means he’s teasing, too. 

Pony laughs again and moves back, sliding on aer skates with practiced ease. Ae puts aer fists up in a defensive position, watching him from over the tops of aer knuckles. “Alright,” ae says. “Try it, then!”

Ghoul swings, and his fist moves almost faster than ae can see, but ae throws aer arm up and blocks it, lets the force of Ghoul’s attack move aer aside. 

Pony throws aer own punch, but Ghoul dodges, jumping backwards and then diving right back in again, grabbing aer arm and twisting it back.

Ae lets out a little gasp, but it’s more from shock than from pain. Ae punches again, aiming aer fist at Ghoul’s jaw, and Ghoul can’t jump back in time. Aer knuckles graze his cheek with more force than ae’d intended, but ae knows he’ll be fine.

“Good one,” Ghoul says, and kicks Pony in the shin.

“Ow!” Pony exclaims, pushing aerself back and away from Ghoul, bending over to clutch at aer wounded leg. “Ow, damn it, Ghoul!”

“Oh, shit,” Ghoul says, moving in closer with an apologetic expression. “Fuck, sorry, Pony, didn’t mean t--”

As soon as Ghoul’s within range, Pony reaches out and wraps aer arms around Ghoul’s waist, clutching him tight and letting aerself fall backwards to the floor.

“Oof!” They both let out little grunts as the breath is forced out of their lungs, and as soon as ae can properly breathe again, ae rolls them both over and pins Ghoul to the ground.

“I win,” ae says, grinning down at him.

Ghoul huffs, scowling, but Pony can see his lips and eyebrows twitch as he fights to keep from smiling.

Ae laughs, and leans down to press a kiss to each of his eyelids, the tip of his nose, and then finally his lips.

“I think we’re both getting better at fightin', don’t you?” Ae asks, hopping back upright on aer skates and then reaching down to help aer boyfriend to his feet.

Ghoul hums in reply and says, “Yeah. Soon we’ll be as good at karate as Kobra! Then we can team up on ‘im and steal all his good snacks!”

Ae grins and gives him another quick kiss. “Speaking of,” ae says, and reaches over to pluck a package off a nearby table. “I did, in fact, replace your precious Cherry Chompers, sugar.”

Ghoul’s eyes brighten, and he excitedly grabs for them. “Holy shit!” he says. “I thought we’d have to wait for the next supply run!”

Pony rolls aer eyes. “As though I’d actually eat something like that and not replace it!” 

“Yeah, well, I needed an excuse to fight you!” Ghoul rips the package open with his teeth and shakes a handful of the fruit snacks out into his hand. “Want one?”

“Of course!” Pony takes one and pops it into aer mouth. “Also, you never need an excuse to fight me. I’m ready to fistfight you any time of day or night.”

Ghoul grins, stretches up to kiss aer. “Sounds like we got plans for our next date then, huh?”

Pony laughs against his mouth.

-----

send me a danger days prompt! :)